00:00:00
hey and friends we got more dates for the fall we got game we got games and we got shows coming up we got shows in the fall so look we shifted some shows we added a second show Saturday September
00:00:13
16th in Munhall PA oh wow then Friday October 6th October 6th we gotta be in Boston Boston Massachusetts then October 21st we're gonna be in Washington DC I've heard of it and then October 28th
00:00:26
we're gonna be in Belco theater at Denver College that's my favorite Bellco of all Friday November 24th we are at
00:00:33
the Riverside Theater in Milwaukee Wisconsin yeah yeah and then the 25th of November we go to Chicago Theater
00:00:40
oh where the creatures are and then November 30th we're in Minneapolis Minnesota when I got molested and then
00:00:46
Friday December 1st we're at the Orpheum in Madison Wisconsin but that second show added in Munhall
00:00:53
Boston DC Denver Milwaukee Chicago Minneapolis Madison let's go to badfriendspod.com
00:01:00
badfriendspod.com and here's the deal here's the deal uh the pre-sale for the artist pre-sale is Wednesday starts this Wednesday June 21st at 10 A.M oh that's good and it goes until Thursday June
00:01:10
22nd password is bad friends bad friends bad friends uh and then it's all on sale
00:01:16
on Friday but try to get those tickets Wednesday June 21st at 10 A.M password is bad for that badfriendspot.com
00:01:25
you two are bad friends who are these two idiots [Music] we're bad friends it's an old Korean tune
00:01:48
that's about the little boy that died in the well yes yes love that song yeah it's a good song right you know what
00:01:53
happened you know it was down in the well a girl that's right and this is the story about why you shouldn't ever chase
00:02:00
women because you end up dying in a well and that's what's unfortunately the truth about life you go after women you
00:02:06
end up dying in a well Bob you gotta be careful you drink a lot of ginger beer she did she did too much yeah way too
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much if you drink too much ginger beer it's not good well you end up in a well you end up in a well you know what happens when you drink too much ginger
00:02:19
beer right you get um diabetes you do because of the sugar and then what happens the whole town
00:02:24
puts you in a well right and then they go well the ginger we know what happens is you get too fat
00:02:29
from me from the ginger beer from the diabetes and they put you they put you down there and you look up and you go
00:02:35
why and they go well well well well well well well well interesting interesting interesting
00:02:42
interesting okay let's start the show here we are today back in the studio good to see Rudy Jewels back she's on
00:02:49
her phone she's got a brand new phone a big iPhone 14 plus the Max Plus good to see good to see someone's Rich someone's
00:02:57
Rich good to see good to see good to see you Jules have a happy birthday dong me
00:03:25
is there like a do you guys have your own happy birthday melody in Tagalog yes I speak cebuano it's different then speaks but there's no song Wait so are
00:03:37
you saying sabaro like the pizza place yeah is that where it's from is the Philippines exactly that's why it's not good that's why it tastes like wood no
00:03:43
it's good Subaru is good is it good really good yeah in the Philippines I always go
00:03:50
there it's so funny I was right it is what do you get there what sabaro pizza you get bat Pizza what do you get down
00:03:56
there no I not the pizza I get the bad pizza with balut I said that's a huge have you seen their bats very cute yeah we've talked about that yeah yeah I get the white pasta isn't that funny that
00:04:07
you hate white things but you like the white pie it's really creamy that's why I like it oh what else is creamy white
00:04:13
guys yeah creamy white guys sing sing Happy Birthday to her sing in I don't know the cebuano there's would you never have a [ __ ] birthday but we
00:04:26
just sing it in English stealing from us again steel steel yeah do you guys have
00:04:31
like a Christmas song because the Mexicans have the um Feliz Navidad that's one of my favorite ones we have
00:04:37
they do there's goes I can't believe we didn't die another year we didn't die next year we might die but this year we didn't die
00:04:49
that's what that's that's the film but it's more like this [Laughter] year we didn't die next year we might die
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all right well it was her birthday if it's my birthday say something in your language that says happy birthday not
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the song but just what would you say she's like starting up a plane check way too much too much that's happy
00:05:25
birthday okay that's just yeah yeah so um you had a great birthday I had an amazing birthday what what did Andrew do for you Andrew extended my trip in Orlando and
00:05:38
my hotel so I could stay at the resort with a sister and her best friend Stacy that's right shout out Katie and Stacy
00:05:43
shout out my sister and Stacy well both of my they're kind of both my sisters but we had a good time in Orlando you guys got to stay by the people you were
00:05:49
drinking did you wait did you go I said go out for dinner yeah dinner and drinks girls night out it was awesome uh you're
00:05:55
so paid for it I did the ladies paid for it you paid for all of our drinks at the pool the ladies didn't put the so they
00:06:01
paid for the dinner yeah oh that was very nice what did I pay for you got me breakfast and you called me I did call
00:06:07
you called me at 2AM and I said happy birthday again what is the soccer shirt you're wearing today oh it's just
00:06:13
because it gets a little cool here and I want to be able to sweat through something you know nothing you know why it gets cold in here because you [ __ ]
00:06:20
weigh a hundred pounds and he eats Caesar salads you should eat a meal once in a while I'm trying to be trim I'm get
00:06:26
I'm 36 years old it's easy to gain weight 36 years old how much do you weigh uh 135. and how tall are you five
00:06:33
seven I weigh 180 I'm 5'3 [Laughter] it's not even a joke I don't know it's funny it's insane how
00:06:44
much do you think I weigh I weighed today I'm kind of bummed two wow do I look fat oh you're trimmed muscle
00:06:55
202 pounds that's great I'm 202. that's awesome but it is but I do feel fit I'm just I am going to the gym more but I feel fat but it sounds fat when I hear 202 pounds that sounds like a lot of
00:07:07
weight I think I'm like 150 pounds that's fine Carlos weighs less than me yeah well Carlos Carlos is sick yeah met here and body yeah you know if you told
00:07:17
me you had a terminal illness I I would my response let's say I have a terminal Andrew tell me right now hey Andrew I
00:07:23
have a terminal illness I know yep I would just say I know really cool we've been thinking it's been coming for a long time we think you're hiding it from
00:07:29
us no of course not I would tell you guys anything I don't know this feels like one of those the Black Panther guy you know thing where you're hiding it
00:07:35
and nobody knows that's like too Noble for me to like die what's his name Chadwick both yeah exactly the poor guy
00:07:41
and he hid it from everyone you would tell every you would scream it from the Raptor no iron Carpenter without the talent that's so mean but that's what
00:07:49
you look like you know who you look like at Crosby Stills and Nash yeah yeah right as he was going bald that's exactly right right that's exactly what
00:07:55
you look like cross Crosby Still you you'd be and yeah Ampersand yeah yeah let's talk
00:08:02
about Rudy Jules what's been going on in your little world a thing oh [ __ ] I'm so happy
00:08:09
and I because she she's coming to Riverside show and I I called her on boyfriend is he coming and I go make sure do
00:08:17
everything you can to come and bring Rudy's like yeah yeah okay yeah I'll do it I'll do it you know what I mean and
00:08:23
now he's not coming why doesn't he not like me no he has a work that's why what does he work
00:08:30
um the pharmacy Walgreens how much did you get paid that night I hope the pharmacy he works at the
00:08:36
pharmacy yeah what does he do pharmacy tech what does that mean he just stocks pills is he a pillboy he get us pills
00:08:44
I've been telling him to get me ozempic no that's a weight loss drug yeah why would you do that why would you need that because I need it just in case I get really really fast no you don't I
00:08:57
gotta tell you this is smart planning that's pretty good because she's not fat now she's not getting fat now but she knows at some point she will be fat yeah
00:09:03
because you know that and I know that you've seen what happens in the Philippines at some point yeah they just balloon up although your
00:09:11
mom was really big and now she's small because of Olympic yeah oh so eccentric because she's Etc we got to get you some mozambic so you can lean out can I be on them pick
00:09:24
you don't you don't need it why because I think it would I think it would trigger you
00:09:30
a drug frenzy it's a gateway drug I think it's I think it would put you in a place where you want other because what it does to you right it suppresses your
00:09:36
appetite yeah what's that gonna do it's the only thing you live for the only thing you crave that's the only I talk to I talked to Jarvis today I had lunch
00:09:42
with Jarvis who says hi Brian Jarvis yeah yeah yeah and and we talked about we got salt and straw ice cream afterwards because I love that stuff's
00:09:49
so [ __ ] good it's so good it's like annoying every time I pass one I go I should stop by yeah and uh I don't know
00:09:54
why you do that with your hand because he's flaming I'm gay yeah big deal it's my month
00:10:01
exactly so listen yeah it is so we missed The Comedy Store parade thing with the what the f it's just it's in Justin Martindale's [ __ ] it's just the whole thing
00:10:18
they crank a mic in and out of his butthole that's the you know the moving part yeah no but I I we talked about you
00:10:24
and I said he orders the same thing he does a lot of desserts and a lot of appetizers and I said what you said to me you said I'm an addict this is my
00:10:31
only Vice you got to let me have this yeah and I did say to you I said you're right and I agree with that and you're right because you're like that's all I
00:10:37
have so imagine on ozempik your appetite suppressed what do you have if you don't have food what do you got Elden ring
00:10:47
doesn't eat a lot he buys a lot of food but he doesn't eat a lot so I think he'll be fine I don't I I don't miss you on this show
00:11:03
it's a partial truth here's the deal he eats all he eats often small things but all the time right like when we were together multiple times I picked him up when we were in St Petersburg I said
00:11:15
where are you he said I'm at this little cafe getting breakfast and I said well I'm gonna go to this other Cafe that the valet recommended he goes good I could
00:11:20
eat again so I picked him up he ate me no I'm like a hobbit second breakfast yeah but then you ate a third breakfast
00:11:26
we got you ate three how about sometimes do that I think profits are only two how many people search how many breakfast do
00:11:31
hobbits usually eat yeah yeah I think two is Max you had three there's two dinners yeah you also get two dinners how many lunches though you could skip a
00:11:38
launch I don't know so according to the books a six traditional Hobbit meal times exactly six in a day dude so two
00:11:46
four six four three three one two oh three one two I do three one two dude yeah oh seven this one says seven Frodo does it exactly breakfast second
00:11:56
breakfast elevensies luncheon afternoon eleventh season 11 sees what I do eleven Z's I think yours are twelves to be
00:12:02
honest with you yeah yeah they're a little bit more yeah no but they eat a lot but you cannot get on please don't
00:12:07
get on those epic I have to do it I have to lose weight no because look at the side effects what it's like it's insane people that have gone on this yeah I've
00:12:15
heard a few horror stories I'm not gonna lie what are the side effects let's see if I can deal with it I love this as possible nausea diarrhea stomach
00:12:22
abdominal I have those already vomiting constipation uh Smeg latitude the biggest side effect is smaglitude what's
00:12:28
smuggling I hate when I get that that's actually what ozempic is it can cause side effects on people are unable to
00:12:34
tolerate nausea vomiting and constant diarrhea that's how you lose weight by the way the original name of those epic
00:12:39
is called schmaglitude smaglitude like smegma inflammation of your pancreas changes in Vision low blood sugar kidney
00:12:47
problems kidney failure serious allergic gallbladder problems hypoglycemia dude pancreatitis you want to [ __ ] you want
00:12:53
to have your pancreas stop working that's it that's like a one percent of the people no it's not I'm sure it's
00:12:58
much higher than that do what what percentage of those epic users have side effects what percentage of those epic users have
00:13:05
side effects and I'm telling you it's more than you think users have side effects
00:13:12
16 nausea 20 of people 16 you're getting diarrhea and nausea from this dude I'm telling you huh I'm telling you well I mean could you try it and then like if the diary comes
00:13:24
it's too much I can go I'm gonna stop yeah but you won't want to stop you know you you'll keep going I love it yes I love that you'll feel good you'll be
00:13:29
losing weight your tummy will be flat yeah I want to look good babe so do I but then why don't you just get on a
00:13:34
little bit of an exercise no Donuts me too what's your what's the one breakfast item you cannot live without like if they're like hey we're well I'll tell you what I get every time if
00:13:45
there's like a pastry basket [ __ ] man give it give it give it oh yeah we had that I know did we not do that
00:13:51
yeah I've never seen that before we had cinnamon roll muffins oh yeah where do we have that in St Petersburg
00:13:57
my second breakfast yeah your second breakfast yeah yeah at the um at the biscuit place oh my God oh my Lord they
00:14:03
had they made homemade biscuits and he's got biscuit and gravy delicious yeah and then they go but you guys know we make
00:14:09
this homemade cinnamon muffin and I was like a cinnamon roll muffin no it's a biscuit I'm sorry cinnamon roll biscuit
00:14:15
okay and he was like yeah yeah it's the inside swirled and filled biscuit and then the outside is crispy and Flaky as
00:14:22
a biscuit with cinnamon sugar layers in between wait what was the restaurant we had a dessert at a restaurant a cinnamon
00:14:29
roll but inside the middle was not cinnamon roll St Petersburg it was that was also St Petersburg you went to that place twice
00:14:50
yeah I'm Bart Simpson I'll be your server Comforts or something really guy yeah I ate there twice yeah it was good it was really good the best service I've ever seen too I felt kind
00:15:01
of like guilty all right let's stop plugging this place what are we doing what are we giving them free ad space no can we say talk about the service [ __ ]
00:15:07
no that was amazing the service was amazing yeah the whole thing was there was like 30 people you know sometimes we go some towns we go it's like it feels
00:15:14
like a big deal sometimes no sometimes they're sometimes they're mad we're there yeah that's what it feels like
00:15:20
sometimes they're like you guys couldn't go anywhere else yeah Jacksonville felt like
00:15:25
a big deal yeah but Orlando did not yeah because it's [ __ ] Orlando right yep Disneyland Will trump us every [ __ ] yeah but they did you can't [ __ ] with Trump but they did tell us they took us
00:15:37
into the um to the John Lennon room that was cool they did and we saw the piano signed by
00:15:42
all these legends that was pretty [ __ ] amazing do you like John Lennon Rudy um imagine if you did yeah yeah
00:15:52
really yeah you don't like them do you know all the members of The Beatles no she got
00:16:04
can you name some of them John Lennon yeah easy one yeah the one that has a weird voice yeah weird voices what's his name what are you talking about you know what she's
00:16:16
talking about yeah the lead no one that I always see in the middle yeah what's his name um come on we can help you Jim
00:16:28
not a gym yeah well Jim is in the band yeah Jim say it again Jim Mahoney Ma it's not Jim Mahoney that's good no no this is good this is good so I'm gonna I'm gonna give you the right Paul Paul
00:16:52
McCartney Paul McCarthy or McCartney is it McCartney McCarthy or McCarthy McCarthy yep
00:17:09
from the Beatles and at the John Lennon room though was great they had the piano some drawings there was a little Asian lady sweeping
00:17:20
up it was joking it was great pick up your feet yeah and she would sweep under each footstep yeah
00:17:27
pretty inefficient she's the one that broke the bone she's the one that broke so you know little
00:17:33
tidbits a little bit what are you picking at your face my pimple no good stop doing it while you're on camera can
00:17:39
you save it until you get home no it's annoying we all have pimples it's okay it'll come and it'll go
00:17:45
how's the a Dean's job so far it's on yeah still boring yeah yeah she works at the Dean's office I thought you were working at the bookstore no it's a different one he never got that
00:17:57
job but quick uh promotion to the Dean's office yeah you know what I liked on tour the NFL players yeah Tampa Bay Buccaneers came to say hello to us that was pretty cool that was [ __ ] really
00:18:11
rad very good guys who else was there oh yeah Mario game yeah Mario Lopez came yeah yeah which is incredible I we thought with his schedule I'm surprised I showed up Mario Lopez come he likes us
00:18:23
I guess he said he was a huge fan yeah I I didn't mind it have you met him Mario Lopez no and I feel like I never
00:18:29
will he's one of those guys I feel like I'll never sit down with it's uh he is he's always at Sebastian monoscalco's
00:18:34
like party that sounds right but he never like I'm never around him no he kind of floats uh he kind of floats on
00:18:40
his own is there any new anime you're watching no I'm kind of like you're over it
00:18:47
what's been going on in your life Rudy I'm just going to school work sleep eat that's it American Dream
00:18:55
yeah that is kind of the imagery you didn't have to work well you went on a picnic hike the other night oh yeah it
00:19:01
was he from your boyfriend yeah so over a year now wait a minute he took you to a little
00:19:06
picnic was it for your one year anniversary no he just stopped by and then we went does he tell you he's gonna
00:19:12
do stuff like that or he just surprises you sometimes he surprises me was the was this a surprise yeah so he says I've
00:19:18
got a basket full of stuff for us to go he doesn't have an accent well I want him to okay he was born here
00:19:24
so so he doesn't have an accent uh you were born here he has an accident I lay up a little accent see
00:19:32
just a little bit fancy as an accent he was born here no yeah yes he told me he had a Visa coming here yeah he's got a Visa I know I yeah when you meet his wife you think what wasn't it for her
00:19:46
she had to get this guy you know legalized here she had to put up with him and have a baby with this guy
00:19:53
I know a girl that's she's what was in it for her yeah imagine his wife like spreading his uh oh just imagine this in his thigh and just
00:20:03
kissing with that little No Man's Land right there and him going say ulala how creepy is that that's French though yeah what would the Spaniard say if you
00:20:15
kissed his his taint he would say the French one yeah with an accent are you making weird
00:20:22
noises when you're making love of course who doesn't I don't you're completely silent you're quiet when you have sex yeah I have my ninja mask yeah I have the [ __ ] swords yeah man
00:20:34
well those clang together that's what I heard that other night in the hotel what just two swords
00:20:41
but um so you don't you make noises of course can you record them sure that'd be great how funny would that be hearing fancy sex noises this is great I am
00:20:52
great I'm coming but it's all about him I'm the best I am a good position now at least I lie it's been you know I gotta tell you it's
00:21:05
been a weird wobbly time since I've been home I felt so disconnected because I feel
00:21:10
like we're home and then we gotta go yeah so I don't feel much going on you've been doing spots
00:21:16
I haven't done any you're doing tonight tonight I am yeah yeah but I haven't since we've been back no I went and
00:21:22
visited the dogs I needed to see the dogs I saw that online how was that real nice I mean they just get so excited to
00:21:28
see me and um they just lay all of them just lamb my head it's heartbreaking actually
00:21:33
because all you have is the cats of the house yeah and the cats don't know who I am right so it's a complete experience
00:21:40
who do they think you are I don't know but Bojo the fat one right he's just he's always like where am I like he doesn't know what's going on he can
00:21:51
cussed no he's just I think he's dumb yeah you think he's an idiot yeah he just wanders in a circle and he looks at
00:21:58
me like for the first time he's never seen me before maybe he needs an assistant yes
00:22:17
wow well Bojo is Bobby Jr that's why you call him Bojo yeah that is the name yeah yeah yeah so it is kind of right on kind
00:22:23
of right on the money you're right but watch your [ __ ] mouth okay if you have upcoming summer trip abroad
00:22:30
my go-to travel hack is Babel um Andrew's used Bible before to learn a language it's so easy see wait I do love
00:22:37
it honestly the best part about Babel is you only need 10 minutes to complete a lesson you can start having real life conversations in as little as three
00:22:42
weeks it is very very impressive and I have ADD ADHD all those adds you got all the D's baby you know babble's perfect for me because only you only have 10 minutes to complete a lesson 10 minutes so you can start having a real life
00:22:54
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unique small gifts that are wonderful for yourself or for somebody else like like there's a box called slash and you
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enter code bad friends at checkout box of awesome.com bad friends we walk past two cats what two nights ago we take
00:25:09
neighbor like nighttime neighborhood walks and all I hear from across the street like behind the bush
00:25:15
wow wow love yeah and I was like oh are they smashing they're [ __ ] yeah and oh wow wow well cats have razors on their dicks
00:25:26
you hear about this sorry yeah yeah yeah hooks hooks so it hurts so it hurts yeah
00:25:33
I thought there were razors well feral cats have razors which are their penises have little hooks on them oh yeah and it
00:25:39
hooks the ve yeah they're like look at that so that's why when they're having it goes oh wow my vaginal walls ow but I go to the push
00:25:52
and one cat is so [ __ ] fat like we thought they were Strays one was huge How big no identification on it no I didn't so neither of them they I thought there was a straight how big yeah so big
00:26:04
how big I'll tell you how big it was it was bigger than anybody and it was huge and the other one was real thin and I that was the guy that
00:26:16
was the the boy and I thought look at you look at you oh and it was a black cat and I knew it
00:26:24
out of New Orleans or something I'm just saying no Atlanta I think Atlanta Atlanta but it was so funny
00:26:31
because it was a rail thin little black cat yeah and it looked like he hadn't eaten in weeks yeah and the fat lumpy
00:26:36
white catches and it was lethargic because they just probably finished you know but then the black cat was
00:26:42
sauntered over to me yeah real slowly and then he looked at me he goes what's up yeah
00:26:55
I know it's perfect if you guys could change your penis into anything what would it be well I think that um what do you mean
00:27:01
like the size of the shape or what do you mean I don't know magic anything in the world any sky's the limit well you I
00:27:08
think it would be cool if like you know those block games where you put the square into the square hole right sure so if a woman's vagina is like a square
00:27:14
and my face was a square right and I could play that game and then if she has a circle I have a square dick right
00:27:26
but yeah man I would love for mine to be able to sing oh that's cool hit it and he goes oh just I would love to see like a penis
00:27:37
mouth oh Wanna Be With You everywhere you know like that's enough oh that's cool yeah I like that oh I'll tell you a
00:27:43
dick joke I heard the other day like an old Street joke this is really fun okay I like this a guy uh guys going through the woods
00:27:49
going hike into the woods and he sees uh he sees a lamp on the ground and a genie comes out of it and he goes oh whoa whoa
00:27:56
a genie and he goes Genie goes all right you got uh you got two wishes let's go and he goes two I thought it was always three I'm [ __ ] what kind of Genie only grants two wishes and the genie
00:28:08
goes look in your pants and he opens his pants he goes whoa my dick is huge and the genie goes yeah I've been doing this
00:28:14
for a long time you like it he like the street joke I don't understand it the first wish Every Man Has is always make my dick bigger it is
00:28:31
well that's the joke it is what Would You Wish For What was your three wishes yours should be dick bigger by the just by the way also when she said what would you change about
00:28:42
your dick anything I was hoping you would just go normal I haven't said anything you haven't said you said I know but I know what I'm
00:28:56
working with yeah all right and if I'm with a girl and she still wants to stay with me with what I'm working with then
00:29:02
you're locked in baby I understand I don't have a Grizzly dick and that's why they're staying with me because I have a
00:29:07
Grizzly dick well no why would you want a Grizzly dick I mean you know no not only grizzly bear
00:29:14
oh not Harry what is a Grizzly dick you know like you know that one black man that died the meme that they used to use
00:29:21
is that guy's dead big beefy yeah yeah what was his name that big guy whatever all right what's the three wishes if you
00:29:27
had a gene I'm a Genie poof I would Grant you three wishes two different boys I'm a grant you three weeks that's your first wish rather yeah yeah that's my first wish
00:29:41
dude go back you only have two wishes left all right um I like to be able to freeze time and be be able to move around you cannot just
00:29:55
freeze time good goal you have one left and can I move around and when I go no just freeze time that's it you don't get you don't get details
00:30:06
well the third one that would be um to fly done you know what the hard part is with a genie because you would Grant you the wish to fly doesn't mean you didn't doesn't fast it doesn't how fast or you
00:30:18
can land or all right you might just have to fly and fall yeah holy [ __ ] you're right or you could buy an airplane ticket and fly
00:30:30
what would your three wishes be three wishes granted go uh true love oh he throws up okay true love go and the second wish
00:30:46
um or bring my uh childhood dog back from the dead [Laughter] uh and third one uh I just want to have enough money uh like a lot of money
00:31:00
wait are you sure about your second choice child the dog just go to the pound I already have a dog I want you already got the wish yeah three wishes go be rich really really
00:31:15
rich got it invisible wait you realize you're not asking to be able to turn it you're saying you are invisible now I got it
00:31:29
you want to be rich and no one can see your money you go to the bank no one can see you you can't hear my [ __ ] money
00:31:35
well I can just steal right what you why would you have to be rich and then also
00:31:41
then yeah that's not how it works yeah you're invisible also imagine that she had like all we see is floating money in your hands holy
00:31:53
[ __ ] there's ghostly money floating around okay okay can I take back my no the third one that's the whole point
00:32:00
well the third one could be please don't be smart for her kill everyone I can have all the money so wait a minute timeout so you're invisible this is how dumb no one else is on the earth
00:32:14
she's the richest person in the world she's invisible and nobody exists Jesse figured out the the hole is all she had to do for the Third Wish is wish that she did wasn't invisible all the
00:32:25
time all you do is reverse but I want to be invisible okay but here you are invisible nobody can see you it doesn't
00:32:32
matter because nobody [ __ ] exists but you're the richest person on Earth that no one can see you don't exist and
00:32:38
there's no one on planet and there's no one on planet why do you even need money at that point yeah I don't know I wasn't thinking well
00:32:44
you're [ __ ] you're [ __ ] no I hope you don't run into a genie anytime soon yeah and you know what's so weird about
00:32:49
that idea that her like her thought process her ideology of this she wanted to be rich but totally alone what would
00:32:55
you do with all the money no let's say You're Not Invisible let's say we make you the richest woman in the world okay
00:33:01
and then what would you do with all the money I give some to my family okay great you
00:33:08
get okay get through that you got all the money in the family get a lot of animals yeah but you see
00:33:14
you want to be alone and that's still being with somebody because you can't have that you have to be alone you have to be super rich and alone what are you
00:33:20
gonna do just sleep all day and get fat no it was epic then no okay okay wow that's what you want yeah it's really sad it's making look look look you know you're wrong you know that's not what
00:33:34
you want who are your road models it's hard for you to get a word out these days yeah yeah and I don't mean a word I literally don't know
00:33:45
oh [Laughter] you know how when immigrants they come here back in the day and they they change their names because you know man
00:34:07
yeah he'd be rural he gets to the board with Generations what's your surname he's like all right well done and then your great
00:34:20
great congratulations have to explain that [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah my great great grandfather was [ __ ]
00:34:27
nervous and you know he I was thinking in Spanish what are you thinking of Spanish what was in Spanish
00:34:35
who are your role models your role role models does it have to be like someone famous no Your Role Model anybody it can be your [ __ ] mom it could be someone
00:34:47
you met years ago that influenced you that made you feel good can you get me a blanket and pillow for a second no stop Jesus Christ my I meant
00:35:00
for you to only want to be rich and fat oh no I was just thinking about myself not atikalai that is your role model yeah okay and she's not fat she always works
00:35:15
out that's what I say that's what they say I mean I don't know she's your role model right now okay who else
00:35:23
no one when you were young who did you look up to when you were in the Philippines living in that cave
00:35:29
then you went outside to go collect berries for the winter who was your role model no one you
00:35:36
didn't look up to anybody no good and that's why she doesn't want to do anything it was your role model
00:35:43
probably my dad my stepdad my stepdad oh because he was a great guy and he was just had his life together and I I remember going over to his house his apartment and put your [ __ ] hand down
00:35:55
I remember going to his apartment and he was like responsible and he you know like he had he had like he had stuff and
00:36:03
we didn't really ever have a lot of stuff so I was like this guy's like a cool guy he's got a
00:36:09
job he works hard he cares and he was known it was so nice to me didn't have to be nice to me didn't have to be
00:36:14
[ __ ] nice to me he could have been like this ladies kid [ __ ] this kid gives a [ __ ] but he was he was nice oh he was
00:36:21
super he did that's I said all the time about step dads and all that [ __ ] and I'm not making a joke
00:36:26
[ __ ] thank God for all the step dads that like care about a kid that isn't their [ __ ] kid because that you could have turned out so differently yeah dude
00:36:33
because I know a lot of friends of mine who had no relationship and then their step dads were there my buddy one of my good friends Tyler one of my closest
00:36:38
best friends from growing up his stepdad was a piece of [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] didn't pay him two [ __ ] cents of the day
00:36:44
didn't care about him he was like I already had kids that's what that he would say that too I
00:36:49
already raised kids and he's like my kids are grown I'm not your [ __ ] dad and why would the mom be with that guy like that because she I
00:36:56
don't know insane honestly but you don't know what she's going through but it's like this kind of stuff happens to people you I can't believe it he was so
00:37:01
dismissive it was like you know yeah it was [ __ ] up to watch it was like that guy's not [ __ ] nice
00:37:08
to you he could be a little bit nicer but he didn't give a [ __ ] because he's like that's not my kid yeah sometimes I'm on a dating app and
00:37:14
they'll say we have children and you'll see a photo of them with and I look at the kids no thanks yeah yeah yeah yeah
00:37:21
they have to be attractive you're not gonna get that big-headed [ __ ] Mongol all right let's be real
00:37:26
would you ever date a woman who had a kid like seriously 100 would you would and you think you'd be a Bobby Papa I
00:37:33
would I would go to the softball game oh my God for her the daughter play softball or the sun play softball
00:37:38
whatever well if the sun play softball I wouldn't go you really why because oh I said I like baseball or
00:37:44
nothing yeah yeah okay I would go to the games the plays you know I mean if they're at night okay I'm I'm look
00:37:50
you're dating my mom all right I'm getting you and you're the kid and I'm a little kid right am I driving and I'm
00:37:55
eight years old yeah we're in the car together okay thanks thanks Mr Lee for taking taking me out to dinner tonight
00:38:01
dad I can call you Dad yeah Daddy thank you so much you're welcome Jim Clem slim that's your name slim jim slim jim yeah I'm named after the beef sticks I don't know yeah where are we going to
00:38:19
for dinner Dad we just ate yeah we just [ __ ] ate but I eat like a hobbit I have two dinners every night oh that's right that's right you're just like your stepdad yeah we are just alive yeah can
00:38:32
I be Chinese like you one day uh yeah yeah yeah you can okay let's practice all right so take your fingers here I'll just take the wheel and crash it
00:38:43
I'll tell you my role model whoa Danny you making this up you sound like you found it no I'll tell you why I I paused on the last name you might have forgot it no it's because
00:38:58
you'll see when I tell the story okay so when I was a junior in high school I um went to this rehab it was my third one it was called the McDonald's Center it was in La Jolla like McDonald's the
00:39:10
company the corporation I think so yeah well yeah yeah okay and um during one of the sessions like counseling sessions I've been to a meetings that I never see
00:39:23
Asians in AAA because at the time you didn't yeah they just kill them you're their parents their parents are
00:39:29
like yeah if their parents okay yeah okay right they kill you it's terrible so I go there are no Asians in a I don't think there's alcoholics that are Asian
00:39:42
so the next day I get a knock on my I was in a hospital and one of the counselors says we have somebody in the
00:39:49
lobby that wants to meet you and I go in the lobby and there's this man standing there Korean full Korean
00:39:57
full career full just all the way full blown yeah we're in the full long white hair wow right down the back of his
00:40:05
um pack yeah middle of his back tattoos to his wrists whoa right he looked like Mortal Kombat and he walks up to me and he goes um hey
00:40:17
I'm Dan and I'm your sponsor yeah and I go and he spoke he was adopted when he was a um 12 came from Korea so he knew Korean so he can
00:40:30
communicate with my parents right and then Dan uh my senior year the Poway High School said that I had to do it an extra year they go because you missed your whole we
00:40:41
know why yeah it's not real and Dan goes no no um he went to the school this guy and goes what can we do to get him to
00:40:53
graduate with his friends they go it's hard he has to do a zero period Lunch Period and night school and
00:40:59
he looks at me and he goes you're doing all that so I did all that and I graduated with
00:41:05
my friends yeah and then um yeah I mean he took me to this Monastery and we for two weeks we lived in this mod I swear to God no I know but I didn't this part is weird for me
00:41:16
you talk to me um now you pay me back no because they would you know because in in the in in the steps they talk about meditation and
00:41:28
stuff so in this Monastery you're not allowed to talk at all you can't talk at all no one talked for how many days for like a couple of weeks I think we live
00:41:39
there Rudy's gonna go there yeah yeah yeah and I remember not talking meditating
00:41:45
you're like a Buddhist Monastery it wasn't like a Catholic you know what I mean and um yeah I just learned all this
00:41:52
stuff from him you know well the reason why I don't want to see his last name is because of the AAA thing we'll we'll blank It Out Just Dance no you can say
00:41:59
Dan and then blank out the last name that's fine yeah yeah but um that's revolutionary what that he changed your
00:42:06
life like that have you ever changed somebody's life you think oh yeah Ryan it's your sponsor yeah Brian did say
00:42:12
that yeah I mean there's a lot of people that I have brought to my meeting I have a meeting
00:42:18
uh Wednesdays and I've brought a lot of comics that are struggling there if I showed up would you be mad yeah why an alcoholic yes I am no you're not yes
00:42:29
I am yes [Laughter] you've been swimming about a health problem you have you almost resort to texting your group chat to get your
00:42:40
friends opinions why would you do that when you have ZocDoc yeah come on man we actually had somebody in our crew who I
00:42:45
won't mention who said to me hey can you take a look at this thing for me and I did and I said Carlos everything is
00:42:51
going to be fine that's not that big of a deal but you shouldn't trust me you should do ZocDoc thousands of medical
00:42:56
professionals are on ZocDoc they're there to help you they listen like a friend and give you the expert care that you need not some on educated advice
00:43:04
from your buddy ZocDoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need and
00:43:10
deliver the type of experience you want that's right Zac Doc is the only free app that lets you find in book doctors
00:43:15
who are patient reviewed take your insurance and are available when you need them and treat almost every condition Under the Sun I've used this
00:43:23
many times in fact because I don't want to go to an urgent care and I don't have time to make an appointment if it's something small and I say hey I just
00:43:28
want to speak to someone about something minor like when I fell and I hit my head and Bobby laughed at me I did not laugh you did laugh but I called doctor thank
00:43:36
God and they helped me get the help that I needed to eventually have a suggestion for me to go to the ER the next day go
00:43:43
to zocdoc.com bad friends and download the ZocDoc app for free then find and book a top rated doctor today many are available within 24 hours that's
00:43:54
zocdoczocdoc.com bad friends zocdoc.com bad friends Morgan and Morgan hey Andrew if you were in a car accident who would you call Morgan and Morgan of course of course
00:44:07
right um a lot of people you know you once you want injury attorneys to be trustworthy
00:44:13
yeah right and this is the a this is A-list stuff here well here's the best part about Morgan and Morgan so many
00:44:19
people don't know where to turn or what to do or where to go uh when they get into an accident because they're like do
00:44:25
I have insurance does the other person pay do I have to pay what is going on and Morgan Morgan takes care of all of
00:44:30
that if you're ever injured you can check out Morgan and Morgan submitting an injury claim with Morgan Morgan is so
00:44:35
easy it's unbelievable it's more like using an app than hiring a lawyer that's how easy it is submitting a claim to
00:44:41
Morgan and Morgan is as easy as pretending you didn't see that 5 PM email from your boss that's right Morgan
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Morgan is America's largest injury Law Firm they have over a hundred offices Nationwide and more than 800 lawyers
00:44:52
that is so money and they also have 15 billion dollars recover for clients Morgan Morgan has a proven track record of finding to get you full and fair
00:45:00
compensation plus they give us these amazing little Nike Air Force Ones and they painted for us and we saw billboards all over Florida from Morgan
00:45:06
and Morgan promoting their business making sure you get what you deserve if you're in an accident if you're ever
00:45:12
injured you can check out Morgan and Morgan there is their fee is free unless they win for more information go to
00:45:17
forthepeople.com badfriends or dial pound law pound 529 from your cell phone that's for the people f o r the people.com bad friends or pound law pound 529 from your cell there's a paid
00:45:29
advertisement who's your who is your um role model who you hire to be like not just kid just can't ask but you you
00:45:42
guys no stop it and and so it's not so like like uh you know Anthony jelsenic Annie Letterman like these people who've taken interest in me and kind of grown me as a comic like I want to be like
00:45:54
that for someone else I yeah and and I also think your sobriety is like motivated me to try to like be a better person and it's kind of inspiring that you strive to be better
00:46:07
and she's getting a little she's not getting sober but she's she's no I see changing her life I see it a little bit
00:46:13
yeah I'm pacing myself yeah changing a little bit yeah in a good way when we had a conversation about it and I said
00:46:19
if you think you need to clean out clean out there's nothing wrong with that and you can I say something about you I love
00:46:25
it is you're handling I mean I've been watching from so far and you know there was one show we did
00:46:31
where they were still seating people I was really tough in the room oh yeah but you still handle it you know in the most
00:46:38
mature way you're becoming a professional and um every night you're just doing so well it is improv it's impressive and I get to live through you because Andrew and I are jaded yeah
00:46:50
let's be honest that's true you know what I mean like sometimes I don't feel anything yeah you know well the first
00:46:55
part of the tour was so like party party and it was so fun but this like second and third leg of the tour it's like I
00:47:02
just feel really focused I'm just like eating breathing sleeping like getting better at stand-ups the best way to do
00:47:08
it coming home doing spots at the store and like training new door guys and ugh it's great we don't feel nothing but
00:47:15
what we feel is we love the fans and we love them no we love it yeah I was being exaggerated I know I know but here's but
00:47:20
let's be honest you want to be honest I want to be honest we've been doing it for a while the moment when you're on stage
00:47:26
connecting with the fans nothing it's the greatest thing on my on planet Earth yeah and the second you
00:47:33
step off it's like it's I want to go back on yeah yeah and then the second it's over or the second where the
00:47:38
morning we're traveling to and all that stuff it's you know I we'll never be able to
00:47:43
explain to people at home that listen to the show that whether they care or not what the the reason that people have
00:47:49
such highs and lows in our business is because the highs are so high it's unexplainable the way you feel it's crazy it feels fake it feels like
00:48:01
you're kind of you're riding the biggest wave ever and it feels like it's never going to end yeah and it's
00:48:08
it's a little creepy and what it does to your psyche is something very unique what what I think is is that you know I
00:48:15
used to have the business try to fix me so it feels like spiritual because you know you feel like you know these dopamine hits and people you know man going oh you're killing it and you know
00:48:28
you're around cool people this and that but you what you realize is that it's just fake God
00:48:34
fake God yeah it's fake spirituality it doesn't feel like the real thing I mean and so whatever what I've had to do is you know look at my life and go this is
00:48:45
what I do for a living and find spirituality and find self-esteem and all these other things that I need outside of that find find your God yeah yeah yeah and to really and to think
00:49:00
that like you know because you know a lot of my fears are like if I lose you know you know like when people try to
00:49:06
cancel you and stuff right you feel like you're gonna lose all these things right but then it's like you I got to a point
00:49:12
where it's like if those things leave I'm still gonna be good and that's where I want to be because of Investments
00:49:19
because of other hotels is that um you're right you're right you're right you're right I don't know I maybe you
00:49:34
know if I didn't have that maybe I know the point is yeah you you you got comfortable you got comfortable with
00:49:39
yourself enough to know that you're you're always going to be okay regardless of what life throws at you
00:49:44
well I know who I am and I know you know how I feel about myself in the world and
00:49:50
um do you know who you are Rudy no and I'm like can we find you I feel like we need to help you find yourself but it's hard because I feel like I don't have any like interest in anything like get
00:50:03
interested how old are you though 21. yeah it's so hard dude I didn't find any interest until I was 23. but it feels like everyone around me knows who they
00:50:13
are because the everyone around you is much older and it takes work like I still I know who I am but I still work
00:50:18
every day like to work on myself and I promise your peers around you your age do not know who they are but they it
00:50:25
feels they they know they're all playing on an act because everybody wants to feel grown up and everybody wants to feel like they've got their life
00:50:31
together but all of us at every age none of us have our [ __ ] together we're all fledging through the same [ __ ]
00:50:37
trying to pretend like we know what we're doing fancy is a new dad pretending like he's [ __ ] he's got it
00:50:42
figured out he doesn't know [ __ ] that kid doesn't even [ __ ] like him and he doesn't even know we're all falling through Earth we're
00:50:48
falling through life I don't give a [ __ ] how old you are the oldest person I've ever met to the young to the young
00:50:54
people were they're all figuring it out we're all [ __ ] Liars everyone pretends to be an adult there is no
00:51:01
adult it doesn't exist we we make Adultism make it but it's not real we pretend to be an adult I literally feel like a kid you are I know I am that's
00:51:15
what's great and that's what's great I'm not you know 51. I am I feel 51. you do
00:51:21
I feel like I'm much older than you yeah yeah I used to think everyone on the inside was like a kid on the inside but
00:51:27
you're not you're a dad I'm a dad yeah and I'm not a dad but I'm just an old man no no because you tap into your
00:51:32
kidness and I do that no so no no I do you're a kid I know but some but most of the day I'm the old man in the sea
00:51:38
you're responsible the only responsible person what do you mean why because I'm being responsible I had other engagements right and this is more
00:51:55
important and I canceled a bunch of [ __ ] because of your fault because you guys you didn't tell me that I had to work
00:52:01
tonight right so who's irresponsible a soccer jersey as well it's his fault can you do me a favor yeah will you call your assistant on the show and make up something insane and see if it'll actually happen like what just be like
00:52:14
hey I'm gonna need I need you to go oh no I feel bad go look for Band-Aids and it's a specific it's it's skin and go
00:52:21
hey I want skin colored Band-Aids creations and find them because I know they do do
00:52:27
they make them hello hey Melanie Hi how are you good how are you okay uh not really um I was in a car thing
00:52:40
accident oh no yeah and um I gotta gouge on my shoulder oh my God yeah and I need um
00:52:52
skin colored Band-Aids okay yellow if they have Asian ones what do they have them because if you give people if you give me black ones I don't want to look like you know uh
00:53:09
Denzel like what part of my body to look like Denzel oh I'll look maybe if you go to a little Little Tokyo it's a gouge
00:53:28
yeah are you okay well I can't feel my right side of my body should I go to the hospital yes but do you think that they have yellow yellow Band-Aids
00:53:40
that should be your cause you're on the podcast I'm sorry do you think they make yellow Band-Aids I love you melody have fun we love you
00:54:02
I love you bye she's the best you know why we wanted to see the air we weren't going to send her on an errand for the people at home do you have an assistant
00:54:07
no what about a little kid the reason McCone is more of your assistant let me tell you something what we did you sent
00:54:14
him on a wild goose chase and it was kind of [ __ ] hilarious we had to leave where were we okay this was in
00:54:21
Jacksonville and we were trying to leave Jacksonville and Bobby said I said where
00:54:26
are you I called I said where are you dude we gotta we're leaving soon and he goes Bobby said he wanted earplugs
00:54:32
really bad and and Bobby said we I gotta go get them this kid went to Five Pharmacy
00:54:39
locations yep ubered around town to find you earplugs yep couldn't find them and
00:54:44
then after not finding them did find them finally then took an Uber took his like fifth Uber to a hotel that wasn't our hotel across the river
00:54:54
and we had to pick him up out front and I said how did you end up at this hotel and he goes I didn't know there
00:55:00
was more than one Marriott in this city insane I know it's insane he's a little slow on the upswing did you get what you pay for that's the that's that's true that is
00:55:12
the fact that is a fact I want to say this all right every Pharmacy has earplugs every single
00:55:19
one yes right Andre not the kind not the wax kind that you requested every single
00:55:25
one on planet Earth wait a minute the foam ones yes you're saying waxes if you requested wax ones every [ __ ]
00:55:32
pharmacy has a wax one wax is tough it's not tough I was tough since I was 18 years old I've been using [ __ ] wax earplugs right I've gone to pharmacies all over the planet Earth in Thailand
00:55:44
they have it and I found them I got I got there well don't make it so I went to nine different places you went to one
00:55:50
place let's call I'm gonna call a pharmacy see if they have them all right good I'm gonna call the two around us let's see let's see if he's right
00:55:57
thank you for choosing Walgreens this is Christine how can I help you hey Kristen this is Marcus I'm looking for I've
00:56:02
terrible I can't sleep at night and I'm looking for um earplugs and I've been just scouring
00:56:08
the Earth to find wax earplugs like beeswax do y'all have wax earplugs wax earplugs let me check for you sir thank you
00:56:22
to see so we'll see because you keep telling me everybody's got them I don't think everybody's got them we're kind of Walgreens right now just to find out
00:56:38
I hope they do not call the waxy yeah they car called where what would they be called they're called I'm gonna look them up they're called wax ear plugs no
00:56:44
they're called um look at that wax your plugs I got you wax earplugs oh Loop quiet earplugs that looks nice they're like silicone now they're waxed
00:56:59
they're moldable silicone is what I wanted they're made of wax okay so we don't we don't carry the wax ones we carry the foam ones but we're out of stock that's how Foams are gone
00:57:11
as well wait it's silicone oh what about silicone is it no just it's just foam huh
00:57:17
all right just foam but we are out of stock you're out of everything anyway everyone's got it everyone needs them in
00:57:22
their ears I guess God damn it thank you everyone carries foam yeah not everyone carries wax but everyone carries let me say something right now I don't even
00:57:39
believe her I still don't believe it do you think she's a liar yeah she's a [ __ ] liar she sounded like a liar
00:57:44
yeah yeah yeah she's a [ __ ] liar she went like this oh I'll go check yeah she didn't check there's no way they don't
00:57:50
have it yeah there's no way they don't have it you'd be surprised no you you're surprised
00:57:55
yeah you're a [ __ ] liar but you sent him on a goose chase and I gotta tell you he was one of the 10 Korean
00:58:01
commandments so and and the goose chases will continue yep no but you are gonna go you are to
00:58:07
continue in fact the 10 Korean Commandments that he bestowed upon you one of them was to go get a medial task
00:58:12
and that was go get wax earplugs number two which you never completed you know what number two was number two was
00:58:18
getting him a spit cup no no no no no no that was you know what one of the one small talk I [ __ ] hate it this is him how was your meal
00:58:28
who gives a [ __ ] he did ask you some really really [ __ ] stupid stupid questions and also when I'm not looking
00:58:35
at you stop looking at me look what he's doing right now yeah I'm at dinner right and I look over Emma Collins just looking at me I [ __ ] hate it it's
00:58:43
[ __ ] you know what it's your fault too you give him caviar you gave him caviar I [ __ ] it up I already know I
00:58:49
[ __ ] it up thank you again I gave him [ __ ] I and then um yeah I [ __ ] you up dude you should never be like this we did
00:59:00
[ __ ] you up and I'm sorry about it and I will say this it's been amazing having Rudy back in
00:59:05
the studio do we need her back ever again yeah I'm not sure yes okay yes yes don't [ __ ] wince at me buddy don't wince at me I asked you to maybe bring a story bring a story I said I told you
00:59:19
all the stories on the last episode what was the story from the last episode the shooting what shooting what shooting and what the gun is this wait a minute
00:59:33
what shooting story what are you talking about the guy that threatened to shoot the school oh yeah great story
00:59:39
you brought trauma to the show not like hey a cool thing happened to me there's there's not a story from your Homeland that you can tell like a folklore old lore yeah folklore
00:59:53
what about the island isn't there an island there's so many islands what are you doing
00:59:58
like this there's seven thousand islands I know but isn't one of the islands with witches and stuff it's not an island
01:00:05
it's part of Cebu and siki [ __ ] is the name sticky horror hell yeah that was one of my girlfriend's nicknames
01:00:20
from my home and then when you go there they say there's a lot of witches and then that's where you get like like people to heal you if you're sick or if
01:00:31
you're feeling like wait is that kalila that's a sticky [ __ ] witch wow by the way she looks like a sticky horse
01:00:43
she's just smoking a blunt dope rap name yeah yeah sticky [ __ ] witch in this [ __ ] yeah look at her well well I'm glad thank you for the information
01:00:53
about Sicky what's in her hand probably tell us what that is on her hand alcohol and Beads yeah Carlos knows all too well yeah
01:01:06
you know what you know what for punishment Carlos what I would like actually this is fun here's a bit for
01:01:11
the crowd and I'm dead seriously punishment for what huh punishment for what pick pick
01:01:16
one at this point pick one yeah yeah can we just knock out two at once uh no no okay
01:01:24
no I'm dead serious for the San Diego show not kidding even a little bit mm-hmm when you get to San Diego yeah
01:01:31
when you're on the side stage before we call you out to say hello yeah I want you to
01:01:39
put anal beads in your butt and on the live show Bobby and I are going to rip them out okay okay I'm good does that hurt it's
01:01:50
gone or done it juicy we're gonna make it and I don't want [ __ ] marble anal beads I want sizable ones and the fun
01:01:57
the deeper it is the funnier it is if it's one bead I'm not gonna do one we gotta here 15. so I have to I have to like clean out my [ __ ] first right no no okay okay yeah
01:02:10
but I'm dead serious if there's less than 10 beads in there fired I want the beads to be white no no no no no no the beads have to be
01:02:18
white we want to see the difference I'm just telling you you better be get the stuffing and I want you should be at home practicing yeah I was gonna say
01:02:24
after practice Yeah I'm gonna do that for the first time like firecracker let's try it with Carlos yes whatever it is yeah would you do that no
01:02:38
why that sounds dangerous Johnny Knoxville would do it yeah Johnny yeah don't you want to be like Johnny Knox don't you want to be Johnny Knoxville
01:02:44
all right fine I would probably that a boy McCone would do something like that McCullen we're gonna let a firework in
01:02:49
your [ __ ] that's Korean that's oh he's down no I think it would blow your [ __ ] apart well let's do an M80 oh my
01:02:56
God what's an M80 it's a thick it's like a half a stick of dynamite we can Wiley Coyote it on the other side
01:03:04
yeah I think it's a quarter yeah that's what an animated is so fun dude m80s are
01:03:10
[ __ ] brutal so because they say if you hold the M80 and you let your handle blow up yeah of course what do you mean
01:03:15
yeah yeah blow your hand right look at that thing probably finding an [ __ ] though yeah for sure well those things
01:03:21
are those things are resilient what about a Roman candle and then he could shoot it out of his ass that's what we
01:03:26
should do at the amphitheater in San Diego's Roman candles out of your butt because that's not unsafe for the other side let's 100 get those please you can put
01:03:34
the one end in your butt the other end shoots out obviously San Diego obviously a fire hazard but I would do it anyway
01:03:40
no we're outside you know some states are lucky they sell fireworks California does not yeah it's
01:03:47
illegal here it's illegal you can go to Nevada right does Nevada have fireworks yeah but usually like in Compton or something on Fourth of July you can get
01:03:53
them whoa what are you saying what are you saying I've got them there on Fourth of July that's why you go to content for
01:03:59
fireworks I went to Drew League one year and it was down there on Fourth of July and I grabbed fireworks from some black kids
01:04:04
I paid them why did you have to put the last part in there yeah yeah why you have to call them kids yeah not everyone
01:04:10
lives in Compton but yeah no I just want to add more color to can you imagine how hard they would roast him you know when
01:04:16
he goes down to Compton no I feel like he would they would know him what do you think
01:04:26
ABC Carlos there come ABC oh you do head knots I do head knots yeah yeah let me see I had not so him and I are um red light
01:04:38
what's up bro what's up bro yo what up well I don't think you feel about it I don't know I'm a little shaky I don't know where you from dog oh I live in West Hollywood are you gay
01:04:50
ah no no you know because sometimes you don't ever no we don't know no we don't know got you no I think gangsters they like me yeah I think gangster is liking it
01:05:02
who me I'm pretty sure gangsters like me let me see if my what Up's good you guys
01:05:08
are a hardcore gang you too yeah yeah you are what oh you look nervous that's what you know because they were confused that's what happens they try to you're gonna say something you're the gang no we
01:05:22
don't we're the gang you're supposed to say it no because we said stay in character oh yeah yeah what's up
01:05:29
what up I just asked you what's up how's my what up okay oh sorry who's this you have a gun no it's just my fingers I'm just pointing at him oh yes brah
01:05:44
brah you mute bruh yeah she asked you a question he just went to mine School dog there he is that's pretty good actually
01:06:00
so should we stab these guys all right everybody thank you thank you for being a bad friend
01:06:12
[Music]