00:00:00
you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude i'm an asian dude you two
00:00:07
are disgusting well you two or something we're bad friends i have the iphone 13. it doesn't
00:00:13
exist i know that's how cool i am okay i know a guy that has a time machine what's his name salvador da law sabra
00:00:27
all right he's a spain futurist oh yeah yeah yeah yeah and he can time travel between
00:00:32
different time periods that's what time traveling is right right and um well last night i was watching a
00:00:38
movie it's an indonesian movie i get a knock on my bedroom door his weird accent he's from the future and i go um what's up and he was there was a glow
00:00:52
like he's knocking but there's a glow too right and i could see that he's glowing
00:00:57
like it wasn't the kind it was a pinkish orangish bright light so it's like my no it's
00:01:05
better okay it's more prominent ah and he goes like waved it right and then i waved my hand
00:01:12
like this and it appeared in my hand that's what the iphone 13 does wow yeah it transports can i tell you what i did the other day what i hit someone's car with my car
00:01:27
that's not have anything to do with iphones yes it is what happened i hit the car and iphones
00:01:33
fell out it was an apple car [Laughter] it was yeah wow that's why i got the new one that's how you got it yeah you hid an apple car apple car yeah
00:01:43
right i've seen those on the road they're all over the place right you hit them as hard as you can i saw it and i hit the gas because it's
00:01:50
a run on iphone 12s it run it runs on 10 and 11. oh it does i i got that and they have 12 and 13 inside i got
00:01:57
that normal people are walking around with the with the 12 like it's cool the 13 is what we've got the cool the new one
00:02:02
that's not even out yet yeah but you know it's like whenever these things come out you go what is it
00:02:08
what's the real improvement here nothing they do one little thing i know we got a new
00:02:13
filter for you on the camera it costs a thousand dollars it just isn't the same it isn't it used to be a remember i said that to i got into an argument with an
00:02:24
apple employee and he was like just being rude yeah and i was like you know this place went to
00:02:29
[ __ ] when that guy died apple was so much cooler out loud yeah yeah well he died from that [ __ ]
00:02:35
stupid cancer yeah cancer as you said no well yes cancer is stupid sure i said when that guy when steve jobs died apple went put yeah it's true how inventive was it back in the day oh
00:02:47
so cool yeah and then at some point when he died they were like um we'll put out a watch and you're like a what yeah or i hate when they go this is the
00:02:59
new phone and then you're like what is it and then see the cover it extends or like it
00:03:04
wraps around like the screen's in the back too so what like who gives a [ __ ] yeah i don't care i don't want to do this no
00:03:10
it's i want to look at the front keep it right here well you know what they did now on the new phone you don't get um
00:03:15
you don't get a charger anymore yeah you get the cable but you don't get the the wall block yeah but the wall but the
00:03:22
but the cable they give you is usbc not usb not the old one so the old little blocks that you have
00:03:27
yeah gone i mean you could still use them with the same fire thing but so they don't they want you to buy their new usbc uh wall chargers and no headphones
00:03:38
right they're bastards about that why no headphones i like the wire headphones i still like them yeah i like the wire ones but i also hate the fact that like my ipad doesn't
00:03:49
charge on the mobile one does yours wait my ipad for this one my my ipad doesn't charge on this uh charger what seriously yeah
00:04:01
is it the oh wait i don't know what the [ __ ] but it's like i gotta get two different ones my ipad my new i got one and it charges
00:04:08
on this thing this thing is the same now it is i think so i don't know i don't know because i just put the
00:04:14
wires out i have there's an apple charger in every port in my house yeah and then the iphone also makes you
00:04:20
feel like you have to lie to it all the time when you're driving yeah and it says this phone won't turn
00:04:26
on unless because you're driving are you driving then you press and you say i'm not driving i'm not driving but i am driving
00:04:33
here i mean so you have to lie to it yeah i'm not driving right meanwhile i'm playing candy crush the whole time the whole time when i'm
00:04:39
driving like this why do you make me lie you know do you enable location services this is a real
00:04:44
big debate whether or not do you let apple do you send data back to apple oh yeah i want to know i want them to know where
00:04:49
i am they do good they know regardless if i'm lost if like for instance let's say this okay one day i just vanished from the face of the earth please okay no a lot of people feel no no no no
00:05:01
that's fine no okay but and then it's like and all of a sudden i wake up i get knocked knocked
00:05:06
unconscious and i'm in the desert where were you with that night that it happened do you remember oh yeah i was at a rave in ramona oh
00:05:14
you're the raven vermont oh yeah so there's a city named ramona by my when i live i grew up in poway yeah and the town north of us i think it
00:05:20
was was a town called i've never been there but i was in a raven ramona uh-huh right and i'm you know i have glow sticks right i don't know what to do
00:05:36
i'm doing it right i'm doing it i'm doing it and then i hear zap zap zap zap right i hear a bunch of
00:05:41
zaps ooh and all of a sudden i black out i open my eyes and i'm in a desert mojave desert mahavi
00:05:50
that's what i said right that's what you said yeah yeah that's what i said so you're in the mojave desert desert and who's around you no one and
00:05:57
i'm in a shack oh you're in a shack but you're safe in the middle of no if there's no there's no walls oh there's no walls
00:06:05
it's like a sh it's a gazebo gazebo it's not yeah my bad which can be nice depending
00:06:10
on who it is there's also a bed right and i wake up a twin a single a single bed
00:06:16
right i wake up and i'm completely naked okay and i have an eye my iphone's on my
00:06:22
chest just perfectly in the cavern of your cavern on my chest and you when you wake up in the desert in a
00:06:27
gazebo you make a certain noise i don't know if you've ever been in that no what is it oh yeah
00:06:33
like calming really oh it's no okay it's more like scared yeah yeah so i'm you know i mean i don't know where i am oh i was in a [ __ ] rave in ramona
00:06:49
right right and then all of a sudden um but then all of a sudden you hear drones oh car yeah you're not drawing sorry yeah not at all the noise sounded like a drone to be fair
00:07:02
that's because it's from far oh the car far away yeah because the drone i get what you're saying if there was a
00:07:07
drone near me it would sound like you wouldn't hear a drone 10 miles away yeah you would
00:07:13
you might you're right you're absolutely correct yeah it is you're right yeah but this is what a car sounds far far away yeah
00:07:21
that's what it is that's what i mean yeah small hum why don't you do the sound effects oh well in my story okay here we go yeah but you
00:07:28
know what i know what that is you know what i know what it is it's the apple car
00:07:35
they're on the way to rescue exactly and they show up and they go mr lee yeah thank you for turning on
00:07:40
your lips thank you for tuning in and then location services it does work and they put you in the car and they go
00:07:46
you bet yeah and i'm in the car with what apples yeah but 12s and 13s new apples
00:07:54
wow do you have an iphone rudy yeah yeah she's an iphone too that's all they have in the phone you have to still crank it yeah yeah no no no it's an xr what's that which
00:08:07
one a 10 10 10. yeah it's a 10 yeah extra regular yeah it's an extra regular phone the xr
00:08:13
wait 10 is it's x x 10 right x is 10 x means 10 and yeah roman numerals yeah yeah she plays
00:08:20
her mobile legends on it she likes to get on her instagram you know kid stuff did you ever okay this is a good question for your generation did you watch quibby
00:08:26
do you know what quibby is no that says everything you need to know of why they went bankrupt yeah do you know what they
00:08:32
are i just did this that thing i did was a quibby thing oh was yeah they just they're just bankrupt right they're done
00:08:38
so it's not gonna come out the thing i did i mean it's over i mean the quibby is dissolved
00:08:43
like it's going to be i mean i don't i i think that the app is still running but i mean they're they're leveling billboard
00:08:48
billboard who's that he's you should know it's like me not knowing who ben bong is
00:08:54
ben fong bambong i call gen that's ken jong what we call him ben bongo that's like me not knowing ben bonham
00:09:00
ken jong's got more shows on television than anybody i've ever seen he's hosting a new show yeah but um so i i'll talk about in
00:09:08
a second but um no i'm really concerned now because bill burr um produced it has a sketch show on
00:09:15
quibby and then a bunch of us did the sketch show yeah so that's not gonna come out
00:09:20
then maybe i mean quibby is for to my understanding quibby is no more can we talk about you going to zion or
00:09:26
no i'm not going to zion where are you going zion is in the movie the matrix correct
00:09:31
uh zion the national forest is that where we're going oh i didn't know yeah well how do you
00:09:37
not know where you're going let's go to the desert zion is in the desert joshua tree
00:09:45
joshua tree and zion aren't the same thing are they close no we're going to zion instead of
00:09:52
joshua tree i just know we're going to the desert see this family wait wait when i said zion right when he just designed and you
00:10:02
agreed with him she just she just said no no no no no get your mic to the mouth you agreed with him did you understand
00:10:07
what he was saying i thought zion was in joshua tree yeah but zion is not so we're going to joshua tree right so we're not going to zion yeah why are you laughing
00:10:21
this poor girl hasn't got any sleep of days so you're going to zion or joshua tree where are you going joshua tree i thought you said zion
00:10:27
george didn't you say zion he said what j tree jewish tree you know joshua tree oh okay well josh could be a jew it's a jewish yeah yeah yeah yeah i guess it could be true yeah so
00:10:40
you're going to joshua tree which is in california zion is in utah two different completely different places a five-hour difference yeah i'm not going if if i were going to
00:10:46
utah i would not be going it's beautiful out there but sure it's beautiful with the lakes and all that
00:10:52
stuff but i'm not going the utah lakes whatever yeah i'm not gonna go no no so what are you going to
00:10:57
joshua tree for wow wow well that's an interesting question it's there to connect with spirituality
00:11:02
in the natures two things you don't do and i'm trying and i'm gonna tell you something right now there's a peaceful
00:11:08
um there's a peaceful feeling out there there's a piece there's nothing going wait a minute
00:11:15
there you don't know are you guys staying in a glamping thing you're doing like a glamping hut yeah we always stay in like a trailer
00:11:22
house out there and there's always um filipino games we play like chikicha you know and um it's pretty much chiki
00:11:30
cha and then eating uh what's chiki cha i don't even understand it but it's a game where you have to get rid of all your
00:11:35
cards can you explain it i'm not really good at chiki cha tituba is good so i don't know how to
00:11:41
explain it better i'm pretty good at it i'm trying to go into the [ __ ] details of how a complicated how do you
00:11:47
know the fans don't want to know what chicky chaw is okay okay chicka cho is this all right everyone
00:11:52
it inherently sounds like a racist card game name what do you mean chicky chaw get down in that hole chicka cho what
00:11:58
are you guys playing chicky chow yeah chasing with each other around the desert chicken chow look what i did i hung about 15 chicken chubs in that one
00:12:04
tree [Laughter] right you see the chicken chill came to town we gonna kick him out yeah
00:12:12
but um yeah it's it's a card game and then what else do i do what i'm gonna bring my is am i gonna bring my new game boy and probably start
00:12:18
a new farm on stardew valley to really connect with nature the game boy out there you mean game boy nintendo's game boy is back
00:12:24
not game boy um switch oh yeah nintendo switch 40 years difference of games whatever
00:12:30
i miss game boy i love game boy yeah i'm gonna bring my switch out there and then there's gonna be a lot of arguing
00:12:36
yeah about come on bob let's go on the [ __ ] trail not gonna happen i have to go but then
00:12:41
it's like i complain a lot how many people are going in total ten ten ten yeah okay
00:12:49
but um the four of us is going to stay in one house and then the other uh yeah who's
00:12:55
wait who's four me you kalila and me no roger matas but he called us gonna sleep
00:13:02
with atiku linda so i'm sleeping by myself yeah why because i thi kowinda does it
00:13:09
have renzo the dog no yeah yeah renzo the dog her partner yeah who's a dog which is
00:13:15
sad it's called and i'm not for it me neither yeah yeah but they rub coochies together it's fun but um
00:13:23
don't you want to sleep alone yeah i love sleeping alone i do i hate sleeping in the same way on the road and like finally like just in your
00:13:30
own hotel by yourself oh my gosh oh my god dude and i have like i put candy on the [ __ ] bed
00:13:35
you know what i just talked to somebody about this today about eating in bed yeah eating in bed is my favorite thing on earth i'll go to some convenience
00:13:41
store and i'll get like fruits and candy yeah and some breads yeah and i'll just lay them all over the bed yeah right that's an indian style i'll turn on some native american style
00:13:53
my bad latinx i said sit next time sure and i um it's i just crumbs all over the back peanut butter i don't give a [ __ ] right yeah and i wake up with just [ __ ]
00:14:05
on my face you know what i mean and sometimes i'll sleep at nine in the morning you'll sleep you'll go to bed at
00:14:11
night in the morning well they got the blackout curtains it's the best do you have blackout curtains in your room at home um
00:14:19
i don't know what it is but light seeps through it drives me crazy you know what you can do for like three
00:14:25
dollars on amazon you can buy the stuff that we've got here in the studio and you put it on the windows it's just black and it doesn't
00:14:31
look good though no no no no no no no no no no no no it's only you only cut it covers up
00:14:38
windows and it and it doesn't look good though on the windows oh who cares know and the windows that i have it's in
00:14:44
your bedroom it's the wall window oh the whole wall is a window oh right so it's a whole thing
00:14:49
oh that's a nightmare we have those we have a button that you press when it gets stuck wait that'll be fun
00:14:56
for you to deal with i'll already replace it twice oh it gets unraveled right and then you have to
00:15:01
oh it's the worst so that we're getting the house painted right now inside parts of the place inside the house and i painted a lot when we first
00:15:08
moved in i did a lot of handy work but then at some point you're like i can't i don't want to it's way too hard too much room to paint
00:15:14
and um the guy today i go uh he's cleaning out a brush and i go oh hey the hose is right there yeah and he goes the what i go the hose
00:15:26
is right there because he was using like cups of water yeah and he goes oh the host oh
00:15:31
okay okay and then he goes i'm not kidding i'm not making this up yeah i'm saying he's telling me he's mexican
00:15:37
huh huh is he mexican he's korean that's what he sounds like yeah okay okay okay yeah yeah little korean guy yeah and i i think he knows that i'm saying use the
00:15:48
hose to clean the your brushes and stuff on the side of the house all good don't use cups of water he goes
00:15:56
gets the hose i go back i'm putting the dog in the other room and giving her food and as i pass the window i see him
00:16:02
he's drinking out of the hose i'm not kidding so that's what he thought you meant i think so yeah hrp didn't even want to do it he was just like you meet the minister he said he says to
00:16:14
the other guy goes he made me drink out of the whole thing yeah i think he maybe he was still
00:16:19
cleaning but he had a drink but i then i was like no you guys can have water in here i gave them bottles of water and gatorade real good
00:16:25
what good water yeah i gave them [ __ ] i gave them good water and gatorade what if they use that as the pay for the painting
00:16:32
he probably did but but when he when he he was drinking the water and then i kind of looked at him and you know when you make eye contact and he's watching me while he's drinking
00:16:38
yeah and i i stopped and i was like oh [ __ ] and i had to keep moving because i didn't want to make another
00:16:44
conversation out of it so now i'm afraid that he thinks i was making him drink hose water oh and then it's like he's gonna be in like republicans uh voters against trump and
00:16:56
do a video he's like i was painting his house right up there the news the news is gonna be in front of my house yeah i'm gonna vote
00:17:03
ktla channel channel 9 news we're here outside of andrew santino's house israel tell us what happened well the
00:17:09
man the orange head man he's definitely a trump sport he's orange like trump yeah he's a bad guy he made me drink hose water by the way hose water is fine to drink it's not
00:17:20
yes it is can i tell you something that happened and yeah you haven't noticed it yet but so we've had construction inside our
00:17:27
house all week i know with the barricade our our doors with to go out we we don't cross with them sure but
00:17:35
at nights when they leave i can go out into the living room and look at their work handiwork and and some [ __ ] i don't
00:17:42
know who had where he was eating hash browns from like mcdonald's oh i love those i know but he
00:17:49
lo he spilled it and there's now a hash brown in the house you haven't seen it and it's been there for like a week and a half well how come you don't pick it up i refuse to it's right whose job is it the
00:18:01
mexican guy rudy oh okay no the guy that dropped it right and it's now decaying why don't you say something i
00:18:09
don't even know whose hash brown it is do you know how to say can you clean up your hashbrowns i don't even know how to say that in his
00:18:14
hispanic language well let's find out because i just got the new translator app on my iphone and let's see i wanted to say can you
00:18:22
pick up the hash brown on the floor please okay here we go let's hear what it is in
00:18:29
spanish it is wow wow hey andres is that we have a resident in here a resident b is that real everything except for the hash brown what is hash brown
00:18:43
we don't have that word that's what she said that's why she said she said how she said hashtag she said yeah what's maron nothing
00:18:50
no she was saying hash brown let's hear what she said we're just pronouncing it in spanish
00:18:57
[Laughter] so what did she say can you pick up the the can you pick up the blank from the floor yeah what's hash maroon you're spanish
00:19:07
maybe in mexico it means hashbrown you're spanish maybe in mexican it means hash brown
00:19:15
no but i'm just saying you know i know that spain spanish mexico spanish different correct that they might have different slang
00:19:21
words i'm agreeing with you okay so so maybe you're wrong andres maybe hashmaron does mean yeah yes yes you're right well how about
00:19:28
this um dude why don't you go back to spain whoa no oh my god come back too but go back to spain and maybe [ __ ]
00:19:40
get get all the scholars together yeah get them and [ __ ] create a word for hash brown
00:19:45
yeah you really should you guys not everything no hash browns in [ __ ] spain [ __ ] face are there hashtags fries fries
00:19:52
they're not fries fries they're not fries oh yes i'm making them like that so you think so everything that's fried
00:19:58
potato is a fried it's a fry what what about tater tots you guys have tater tots
00:20:03
oh [ __ ] you what a dumb country all right so what a uninventive country yeah you know they they look at a potato fries fries
00:20:15
everything is fried that's it you want to bake it no fry fry yeah what do you call baked potato [ __ ] face
00:20:23
wait a minute for real you don't have tater tots we don't you've had them here in the united states yes do you have curly fries
00:20:31
no no no do you wait a minute no no no do you have them but you refuse to create a name for them
00:20:38
like they cut it into it like they know how to make it yeah right and this is called there it is fries fries
00:20:46
so the kind of fries that you have right yeah are they thin like mcdonald's are they
00:20:51
steak fries right we have them both okay oh you're bragging now yeah yeah yeah yeah now you're getting a lot of
00:20:56
we have them both [ __ ] you we also have tater tots we have words all over our clothes
00:21:01
andres do you guys have shoestring fries do you know what that is i do they're super super thin yes we do you do what do you call those we call them
00:21:13
what is they do have straw fries raw fries straw fries okay so that does work all right so but but the the no tater tot thing and no curly fries really uh
00:21:25
grinds my gears bud i think that's annoying that you don't have that they have that kind of stuff in the philippines right
00:21:30
we don't have tater tots yeah but i think in their case you know um they have like fried frog leg raycon oh my god uh andrew um yeah i
00:21:43
love listening to music same and the my favorite um earbud yeah to listen to music is right raycon
00:21:49
yeah you know why because it's slick it looks good it's easy to change the songs
00:21:56
and i feel like they're better than all the other ones look not only are they more comfortable in my ears i
00:22:01
have little ear canals you know that i'm part of a group called little ear canal i know and i don't like developed underdevelop
00:22:07
i have underdeveloped ear canals my ears are huge but my canals are tiny and these things fit so snug and you can change the the size which i like because
00:22:13
a lot of them don't come with that this has seamless bluetooth pairing it's comfortable noise isolating which is amazing you can't hear other people
00:22:20
and uh for the other prices of the other earbuds this is way cheaper it's like half the price of what you pay
00:22:25
when you go to those overpriced ones right it's great and for the holidays uh get some for your family and your friends
00:22:31
for work or whatever whatever you're doing i like to work out with them bobby likes to use them when he's at his house jamming to music playing video
00:22:36
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00:22:54
recons we use them we love them they're great earbuds by raycon.com hellotushy.com hey uh hey andrew yes hellotushi.com has saved my life why
00:23:06
because um i used to um not be able to clean my butthole why is that because i'm just not skilled
00:23:11
and norman taught me but here's the thing when we got the i got a hellotushy.com you know hello tushy in my house at home
00:23:18
yeah and we have one here we do i'm the one that put it on here it's easy to [ __ ] do george put it in and
00:23:23
george put in the hell of this [ __ ] and i realized that my [ __ ] right has been cleaner than it's ever
00:23:29
been call it your poop chute sorry yeah no a-hole we don't say cuss words your poop shoot has been cleaner
00:23:34
than it's ever been yeah and it cleans it good and i don't even use um toilet paper anymore neither do i yeah i use the hello tushy bidet
00:23:41
and you know what else i do what and i get back into my comfy little sweats and i lounge around the house i know you do i don't do anything else
00:23:47
hello tushy is the modern bidet attachment it's here that genuinely to revolutionize your life if you've
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never used this you're an idiot and you're missing out these usually cost thousands of dollars i need to say how
00:23:59
much it costs yeah hello tushy right costs just 79 dollars i couldn't believe it i go what are these 800 you said 79 i couldn't believe it no
00:24:11
it's it's remarkably cheaper than what you normally would have to pay for something like this get rid of paper products uncomfortable uh they're
00:24:18
chaffey you run out all the time during the uh during the times that we're living in why waste money on
00:24:23
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00:24:48
hello calm slash bad friends what do you guys even eat out there uh yeah beluga you know what it is no i'm going to show
00:24:59
you what it is and it's going to freak you out how do you spell it b-a-l-u-t yeah so basically what it is
00:25:06
it's a duck egg okay but you know how like in america we have duck eggs here i know but when
00:25:13
we eat duck eggs right we don't eat it you know i mean eight months into it's you know i mean cycle oh it's it's an aborted duck egg pretty much
00:25:25
like there's a baby in there and they are eating it early yes uh right so i'm going to show you what they look like
00:25:31
so when you open it up right it's a duck it's a baby duck it's a baby duck but they it's a street food yeah it's like what we would have like you know hot dogs and you and you bite
00:25:42
into the duck but it's the head and everything yeah so they do this oh no no oh i'm just crazy i know that's what they do don't do that i'm gonna throw up i don't wanna see it
00:25:56
[Laughter] oh my god you do that yeah yeah wait there's the bones in there but it's still soft oh
00:26:04
feathers feathers so you're like we'll go today the feathers out of your mouth right so when you eat the balloon right you can literally taste the feathers
00:26:16
yeah oh my god right and then you probably crunch down that that was the eyeball oh yeah can
00:26:21
you taste you can well but what about okay so the internal organs are not fully grown yeah it's not yeah yeah
00:26:26
but you put uh like sauce in it oh it's double that that makes it better yeah eating babies
00:26:32
yeah yeah yeah that's crazy what's the sauce um vinegar and you put like baby duck juice what we do is we take the baby duck
00:26:43
right grind it vinegar and what um vinegar and soy sauce vinegar and soy sauce yeah jesus christ have you eaten balut are you out of your mind now
00:26:55
i won't do it when we go there i go hey let's try balloon and no one in the car would ever they're
00:27:01
not everyone's even them the filipinos like ah because they've all tried it though yeah
00:27:06
what like one when's the first time dude when you're a kid does everybody eat it when you're a kid yeah like as a
00:27:12
snack yeah everyone's excited about it when you're young yeah when you're young when you get older nobody like your mom
00:27:18
doesn't eat it yeah no no well what's the excitement though it's like boba it's not like boba yeah because when you
00:27:24
when you know a bobo ball pops it's the same as a little duck head from a balloon a duck skull with a brain in it but they pretend that
00:27:31
it's like boba yeah they don't think it's a duck head what do you like what do you think when you eat it do you think it's a little baby duck
00:27:37
no we just see it as like an egg yeah you think it's an egg yeah all right so if i had a balloon right now
00:27:42
and you were hungry you would eat it yeah oh wow the juice in it is really good [Laughter] oh my god dude oh my god but is it good
00:27:53
without all the stuff yeah so it's good on its own because i feel the same way about like you don't like i bet you you don't like oysters
00:27:59
i love oysters do you under your [ __ ] mind okay okay together do you eat oysters without
00:28:05
anything on it yes okay some people some people have to have uh uh tabasco and um
00:28:13
uh uh horseradish and all that stuff you can just go i can do that and have i been known to
00:28:19
put tabasco yeah i mean everybody does everybody does but i'm saying but you like them raw too i love anything raw in that way really yeah
00:28:26
octopus well i won't eat octopus at that one documentary but i used to eat octopus what documentary my octopus teacher someone what is that what is it
00:28:37
you have to watch it my octopus teacher yeah it's on netflix you see it yeah yeah what is it oh my god dude
00:28:43
it'll break your [ __ ] heart i'm already breaking so it's like this um south african um he
00:28:49
i guess he's a um video journalist like he does like natural geographic [ __ ] you know i mean
00:28:56
in in the tundra and he's been doing that all his life and he got sick and tired of it so he went home he decided to quit and
00:29:03
live in his house that he grew up in which is right on the coast of south africa
00:29:08
and so what he would do every day is go into the water and he had equipment but he would go free diving
00:29:13
but he would and he would film things you know i mean like under our sea creatures sure but one day he runs across a little
00:29:21
octopus and um at first like octopus would see him because he'd be just this white man floating in there right and it would scurry away but eventually
00:29:32
what happens is the octopus recognizes him and pull out his hand and shake his hand
00:29:38
no way yeah and then they became friends and they would and the octopus would come out of its little hole and go onto the guy's chest
00:29:49
and just sleep there just cut it out no i'm kidding you i'm not kidding you they were friends right yeah and the
00:29:55
octopus would get excited to see him so it has that kind of um sentient you know um so it's got an
00:30:02
understanding wow how do you know how does it get excited like all of its arms start waving yeah that's how it gets exciting they
00:30:08
would play too they would tag tag and they would swim around and stop it yeah and play around and stuff really yeah and
00:30:14
then um are those arms and then um i have to say there's a scene where um he has sex with the octopus no no no a shark comes along oh boy to hunt the [ __ ] octopus when
00:30:25
he's already befriended it and octopus uh on the sharp bites the octopus in the arm rips up an
00:30:32
arm and the dude's just filming yeah well he's like a [ __ ] face but he has seven
00:30:37
more you lose one arm you got seven more arms but it does grow back yeah so it's not that big of a deal
00:30:48
can you imagine if your dick fell off you just got a new one sometimes oh you know what you're like oh it's june
00:30:53
or like a black one grew well that'd be cool like you lost your yellow my yellow little yellow one
00:30:59
and a black one big like but then every year you lose that you never know what you're gonna get next year right right so you've got to really kind
00:31:05
of get you can get one like that's uh really dark indian style or crooked all right like a total l have you ever seen
00:31:11
those like the l shapes or like one like you're just like completely just white that's mine yeah and that that's how it
00:31:16
is too a little chotichoed it's just really round what if it cuts off and all of a sudden you get a vagina oh
00:31:22
that would be a word that you've got for every year it's one whole year with a vagina or whatever and then it's a bunch i would do what if it's two bottles in it
00:31:28
you would if i do it if i if i lost my penis yeah and a vagina grew back i might [ __ ] a
00:31:36
couple of dudes you'd be a [ __ ] i know i just want to see what it feels not you you'd let me have sex with you no not
00:31:42
you'd be too funny you wouldn't let me have something you'd be so angry but what if i would be like i'd be like dude slow down i would choke you out
00:31:48
i know but i could just see you just look at me just with yeah and just pop up and i would just be
00:31:55
like dude slow down right yeah it hurts yeah right and then it would be the weirdest if i like came right imagine you're pumping me right
00:32:07
yeah well andrew andrew oh and i just go yes yes and i walk away and then i'd go and i'd be like you know get me a warm
00:32:20
towel and i'm like i'll see you at the podcast at four yeah yeah and then i'd have to make that walk to the bathroom take the
00:32:26
towel warm it and wash my vag that'd be so sad that would never happen i if i had a vagina who's the first who's the first guy you'd have sex with
00:32:38
in the building no in the world because the building who would it be no who would it be in the building me andres or george if i had to pick one guy in the building it would be andreas
00:32:49
why are you out of here you think it's you you're the last one george and he doesn't even do it in the hole it's like on the lips right george you missed you missed but um andres
00:33:15
andreas because um he's cute he's very cute yeah no he's really cute little dick
00:33:21
medium probably little i saw it medium medium yeah yeah he would probably be really respectful in there he's like are you
00:33:27
finished yet yeah yeah yeah he'd make sure that you got yours but you know what probably in the world i would probably try
00:33:33
like go to like one celebrity yeah i would go probably try to any of like an avenger probably
00:33:39
oh yeah chris chris uh yeah pine i love chris pine i would like chris spine do it yeah or what is chris evans also chris evans yeah chris pine isn't in the
00:33:49
avengers movies i don't know i don't know the difference between those two guys well chris
00:33:54
pine is um um see star trek right i don't know yeah but chris evans and chris pine to me seem like they're the same guy yeah they're not nope no are they heard of me and i would [ __ ] chris pine over
00:34:06
chris evans yeah okay chris perratt chris pratt's good looking too yeah but he's more of a comedian i don't know probably not he's funny too funny too funny for me you want someone
00:34:19
serious tom hardy is my guy that's literally my guy i thought him comments yeah yeah yeah
00:34:25
or charlie hunnam yeah now if you had a vagina would you let me [ __ ] you i would even if i had a vagina i'd still i would still be [ __ ] you
00:34:36
slamming it yeah no it'd be too it'd be it'd be too hard with you in the building if i had a vagina i would do i guess i'd let andres go first as well yeah yeah and then you and then
00:34:48
obviously obviously george last but that would be you would have a stop watch with george yeah yeah i get
00:34:55
you get three minutes max once this goes off i'm gonna push you punch him in the face i would punch
00:35:01
him right in the middle right you're gonna wear a condom yeah with george for sure everyone else no condoms yeah because george is a dirty
00:35:07
dirty boy yeah you gotta wear gloves yep yeah coronavirus mask i want him in a suit i want him in a hazmat
00:35:20
yeah it'd be difficult yeah would tape it film it yeah because it would be like i would do it just to so that it's
00:35:26
more of an acting job it's a story yeah yeah yeah it's good for the public work yeah it's working it's working
00:35:32
i'm not getting anything out of this right right it's a full job that's a full-time job yeah yeah
00:35:37
dealing with a project yeah we're doing this for a project but it wouldn't be like for his any
00:35:43
satisfaction how about this andres yeah if you had a vagina who's the first guy in here you'd have sex with
00:35:49
oof that's uh don't sound so enthusiastic yeah probably you andrew thank you yeah who's second bobby okay george
00:36:04
the best part about this game is i'm not even um we don't even ask george he doesn't even get to be a part of it
00:36:09
he's in last place in the game that he can't play i want to know what george is to think all right coach george if you had a vagina who would you
00:36:14
have had sex were at first in this room uh in this room i'd go with you bobby there's a curiosity he's such a kiss-ass i knew he was gonna say you and you know what that feels good it's
00:36:25
fake it's not fake you know he would go with andres first everybody wants the fancy being intimidated by me even yesterday i was
00:36:32
playing video games right and he comes in the garage and he always like feels what my mood's gonna be what
00:36:38
do you play video games in the garage because that's where all the console is and stuff oh with the podcast you have a bin
00:36:43
over huh where do the cars go [Laughter] not in the garage yeah yeah but the podcast is in the garage i didn't know
00:36:50
yeah i haven't been to the house i haven't been to the house pandemic's been happening i understand so yesterday i was playing
00:36:56
games and i could hear him squeak open the door right yeah yeah and i can see him tiptoe
00:37:01
around um he kind of looks he doesn't say hi i'll just look to see what my mood is right he still is intimidated by me a
00:37:09
little bit after all these years yeah how many five has it been six you've worked together way longer than that now
00:37:14
probably eight years wow and he still just can't get the manhood up together to like approach him he's never raised his voice
00:37:20
at me he's never um really put his foot down why do you think that is um that's why he works with me right
00:37:29
he's i think i think it's because he's a survivor and he gets certain people how about you
00:37:35
he doesn't talk back to you no no no but also also my rapport with him is different than you what do you mean i treat him i treat him a little bit more human than you do
00:37:48
i treat him more like a person that's and you treat him more like um an object no yeah no because i'm gonna say something about george yeah
00:38:00
that i believe that everything happens for a reason i believe you meet certain people in
00:38:06
certain times i believe that and i believe that i was meant to meet george i believe that he has um a lot to do with my recent successes in
00:38:18
in my career i don't know about that but i believe that okay i'm not going to give him that kind of credit i am
00:38:23
okay and i believe that um he's good with kali like he's good with my family and tools she doesn't like him
00:38:31
i know she doesn't yeah i know you don't and um he freaked me out and i will never let him in fully right right yeah because when you let people like that in they take advantage
00:38:43
of you they take all of it they take all of it you wake up one day and you're in the mojave desert with an iphone in your chest
00:38:49
underneath the gazebo but that's the nicest thing i'll ever say about him yeah he'll never get that again from me
00:38:55
we'll have to cut that from the pod andres we don't even leave that in no but i really do believe that i think that he he i trust
00:39:07
him yeah like thoroughly no look i but you and i's relationship is i feel good or no
00:39:13
no don't give up george that's enough what thanks bobby he loves you that's what i'm saying i know i know yeah yeah him and i are
00:39:20
but we're never just we're we're going to stay the same okay see it works every time it works everything's such a sellout george is such a selfish
00:39:31
survivor i know he is he really is he's a woman he really is and like he married an asian woman just
00:39:36
because of you you know that right well he had zero intentions on it well the honest truth
00:39:42
is this yeah you know what the true story is of how of how they met [Laughter] this is you're gonna this is gonna make you laugh yeah so um kalila's best friend growing up
00:39:55
yeah right is a girl i'm not going to say let's just i want to just change her name because i want to put her into it right let's just call her veronica give
00:40:03
me a better one yeah uh jamie love it okay thank you and so um jamie now is married and has as a kid sure right but jamie um
00:40:15
was a girl that was hanging out with all of us you know i mean before she was when she was single right is jamie white what is she white
00:40:22
she's korean korean another one so jamie um was around and she she was uh free you know in many ways hippy dippy a little bit fun fun fun and george
00:40:35
fell in love with her seriously yeah are you being serious yeah like i actually was like i love this girl yes
00:40:41
wow and he um would go as far as buying her gifts and stuff what kind of gifts i don't know what kind of gifts george i didn't buy her gifts he bought her gifts dinner
00:40:53
um i brought her eggs uh from my chickens right right boat bow to eggs farm right yeah i mean doesn't surprise me you know what i mean he has a farm right and he dwight from the office
00:41:07
right and um he did everything he could yeah and she completely rejected them wow not
00:41:14
even a leg not even like i'll let you take me out on a date nothing wow and um it broke him it broke his heart
00:41:21
he went deep off the edge yes and then he found another one another korean yeah right where do you where do
00:41:27
you find him koreatown but he uh can i say something about his wife she really does love him and he loves her and it's i would hope so they're married it's real
00:41:39
do do you think it's but do you think he likes his wife as much as he liked that jamie you sure more
00:41:47
george jamie's here to say hi what if we brought out jamie no because she's she's uh she's is she going with us yeah to the desert oh she is yeah is george going no thank god that'd have
00:41:59
been bad huh we try not to mix the two i get it yeah yeah i get it but so jamie yeah is in the past and now
00:42:06
george is happily married right george but he has a thing with koreans i think why why is it george i mean look at he's
00:42:12
look look he wanted you first he wanted you first you want to be first right he works with the korean mm-hmm and when
00:42:19
i went in the maker when i met him a long long time ago right he was the only guy to really out
00:42:24
he was like this guy we had 20 producers in a room right i'm not kidding you no i know
00:42:30
right and um the person that owns the company goes all right so what producers want to work
00:42:35
with that's george in the back me and i go who the [ __ ] is that country nerd yeah right and that's george he's new i got to [ __ ] him oh you wrote him off
00:42:50
yeah in the beginning i would write you off in the beginning right oh completely you uh you brought
00:42:55
my assistant into a writer's room and kicked me out once i remember that yeah yeah the funniest thing yeah
00:43:01
but you know what i realize through time is i go you know what this guy really believes
00:43:06
in me yeah and um i feel bad because i treat him like [ __ ] no you don't i did you did pass then but now you don't no now where he got in who
00:43:18
else is he works for me at tiger belly he's my producer there he's my producer here right and he does a great job and
00:43:26
he's an okay job he could do a better job yeah yeah but he is uh somebody that um
00:43:33
is a part of the family he is yeah i love him liquid iv oh my god i love you know i'm
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00:46:47
george just fine i lean much more towards andres something about that little guy that i love the most he just he's got the
00:46:52
flavor that i like i know you do i don't trust white people and that's part of it yeah and i don't trust george as much because he's white
00:46:59
and andres i know he's trustworthy and even if andres backstabbed me yeah they would he's spanish they would
00:47:06
do it in a cool way with care see he the spaniards have pride in the way they do things right they're smooth they're silky you know i just their culture
00:47:17
embodies something about the trickery is at least beautiful right yeah like if me and andres were
00:47:24
dating if he cheated on me i know he would he would have a the way he would tell me about it would be
00:47:30
smooth and suave ah you know like how would we do it i met someone else you know but
00:47:38
yeah okay i'm you yeah all right andrew well i have hey hey man hey hey i've been calling you i've been calling you yes um how can you call me back i have to
00:47:51
tell you something what is it i met someone new no but my love for you does not waver no
00:47:59
i love for you to hear to the moon and back this new person in my life yeah he is a fleeting shooting star [Laughter]
00:48:12
what you mean the world to me but i just want to sleep with him for a little while and when i am done with this trashman person yeah back to the love of my life you know
00:48:24
that song you know that song if a bird if you let a bird from a cage and let it free [Laughter]
00:48:31
if it's a lobby we'll come back you know this yeah no that's really good that's you to me
00:48:37
it's just so good it's sweet he's a sweetheart dude i want you to play that guy in a movie dude that's really good the
00:48:45
accent is terrible is the accent really really bad nobody is there's something that says clear and doughy about it yeah your eyes yeah
00:48:50
it's sweet it really becomes doughy and it gets watery yeah and really just sweet why can't we go back to
00:48:56
character-driven movies like that where they're just so just like dumb and fun my buddy and i said that today because i
00:49:02
said like uh billy madison and happy gilmore were both such hits because they were such dumb characters yeah but you loved you were along for the ride a hockey player is going to make it on
00:49:14
the pga it's like no way but i love that like those movies like that in our when you know we were coming up was like it didn't matter that it was insane yeah nobody cares that a 28 year old guy
00:49:27
cannot go back to elementary school it doesn't matter it was funny they don't everything now is to be rooted in
00:49:33
some kind of reality and it's played real everything is played real yeah like when's the last time you
00:49:38
saw a comedy movie where the fantasy was like that was just it's so dumb how about you guys did you hear anything when's the last time you saw a comedy that the fantasy was ridiculous like that but you just bought in
00:49:51
well it's also how they play it like um what's steve corral right yeah in um okay right that character that he plays but that was a that was a whole movie about people from that time period i know but
00:50:04
that character right is so exaggerated brick right and so like dumb almost that character yeah
00:50:11
right that it is it does play into more of a broad unreal character yeah but that but but
00:50:17
to be fair that movie is not about him i'm saying what one is elite anchorman will farrell's character in anchorman
00:50:23
is still another not realistic betrayer yes it is totally of a guy of that era for sure it
00:50:29
is don't you guys think so yes it is yeah it will ferrell is actually just a misogynistic newscast reporter who was full of himself exaggerated though isn't what i'm saying i know but it's but it's still realistic
00:50:41
right like like a misogynistic uh news like did you ever see richard what was his name that used to
00:50:47
do family feud what was his name richard dawson yeah and he i mean he was that guy he was like hey nice tit sweetheart why
00:50:53
don't you guess something they would smoke he would pat him on the butt when they get oh they would kiss them kiss him on the mouse it was the that's what ron
00:51:00
burgundy was right so i'm saying like i can't think of a film that i've seen since that era
00:51:05
when we were younger that like the lead character yeah was a just insane like what
00:51:12
what about that nick swordsman movie that he did called bucky uh oh yeah yeah yeah yeah bucky bucky
00:51:18
larson uh yeah yeah fame thank you is that following the calendar it is i guess that is it wasn't a bigger
00:51:23
it wasn't like a massive movie but yeah that was more of like a fun comedy indie yeah you got zero percent on raw tomatoes no
00:51:30
it didn't really seriously yeah that's mean it's mean zero i think so let me look it up yeah but why zero i don't know but when that i felt i wanted to call him when that review came out or when the
00:51:45
rotten tomatoes did you no no decided but what do you say to somebody i heard about it's [ __ ] i heard about
00:51:51
the zero i don't know how do you how do you know how do you even start that conversation oh it got no it's not zero anymore what
00:51:57
is it it's three percent oh no see yeah that's good it's not zero why would they do that see that to me is being cruel for no reason because look up here look up this now i
00:52:10
go to see tyler perry's movies and they're atrocious but i love them because they're bad look up any medea
00:52:17
look at madea boo a halloween or whatever i went to see that a couple years ago with a friend in the movie theater
00:52:22
and it was that it was so it's so bad it's funny madea's family reunion sure any of them okay what are those those are
00:52:30
these are not well done 46 all right still better than three yeah like but that those movies are
00:52:36
terrible yeah and and they're just fun to go watch because you know they're going to be bad and poorly dude one time in that media one of the
00:52:42
halloweens you can see a boom operator i'm not even kidding you can see a man on the front lawn yeah holding a mic
00:52:49
and he looks right at camera and he goes like this he goes yeah yeah and then looks away like he's gonna hi if he looks away it won't be holding a [ __ ]
00:52:55
huge boom yeah i like bad movies a lot see me too that's my point but i don't think i think being mean about it
00:53:02
is stupid don't give it a three consensus of different reviews right it's not just one guy it's like you know
00:53:08
the three percent is like 300 reviews that were bad i know but they all like jumping on the same train right they
00:53:16
think it's fun to pile on because it's like you know when you know when you do this to friends when you go um if you went
00:53:21
out to eat or something you're like did you like it and everyone's like i don't know like if everyone kind of went ah not really you would also go
00:53:27
yeah not really yeah it's true i think that in in many ways good movies are like that too like you see a movie
00:53:33
at a film festival right and you look toward like a group of critics that are huge that look that look like they know
00:53:39
what they're talking about they're just you know they've been around for a long time you know right and like that guy joe morgan center from
00:53:45
the new york times yeah or whatever and then you know you're afterwards you know you know everyone doesn't just disperse
00:53:51
well they don't after the chat they go hey you know they talk what'd you think joe oh masterpiece yeah everybody yeah even
00:53:58
though the guy fell asleep in it you know you're hindering it right it's a masterpiece right you know maybe that
00:54:04
it happens as well i totally think so i think there's movies i could blow on it like i thought once upon a time in
00:54:09
hollywood was fine masterpiece it was fine masterpiece of the tarantino movies masterpiece not
00:54:15
even close yes pulp fiction was a way better movie no kill bills were better or better than that absolutely jackie
00:54:21
brown was better it was so good i loved every frame of that movie he drove around the city for the most time
00:54:27
that's what i loved about it first of all right it's an homage to that era so what what do you mean so what the story jumps all over the place it's just
00:54:38
all over all his movies jump all over the [ __ ] place no but there's a concise story none of those sets right like when he's
00:54:44
driving through town was cgi they were all you're in you're just impressed with the production value more
00:54:49
than the movie itself no i thought every frame of that movie made me smile from the homage to
00:54:57
i love old hollywood and the way they portrayed it to this weird story about some like
00:55:04
tv actor who's on his way out and his stunt man and their and then also the switch at the end it's
00:55:10
i thought the whole thing was so great and i've seen the movie 20 times i love the switch at the end the
00:55:16
story that was based on a true story but ended up not being an alternate reality show is so good man
00:55:21
i'm okay because i i didn't expect it and then when all that went down at the end was so
00:55:26
funny well that was the best part of the movie right the fight the fight scene was amazing the whole thing was great than that i was just like oh this is
00:55:32
okay yeah see if that's my point though i think you and i should be movie critics right it'd be great because you're not gonna influence me i think that that
00:55:39
movie was a masterpiece andres is a film student andres did you love that movie i why the pause well i was gonna betray andrew with care and was all right for the right words
00:55:51
but i think you loved it huh bob is getting more attractive by the day yeah so you loved it yeah i thought it was great you thought that was better than his other films not better not better okay that's good
00:56:04
what film is better than that then of his of his collection pulp fiction 100 [ __ ] that's my point
00:56:09
i'm not saying it's a bad movie it just is not as good as his other jake jackie brown no it's not jackie brown is a phenomenal story yeah
00:56:16
it's better than i'm just telling you my better than jackie brown incorrect better than hateful eight reservoir dogs
00:56:22
right not better than reservoir dogs that's better than reservoir dogs no way all right or with inglorious bastards
00:56:29
yes sure right those are probably on par with django unchained yeah no i don't i disagree
00:56:35
yeah i think i think the story of django was django was so good it was phenom was way better yeah yeah it was that that's my point it's a
00:56:42
tarantino movie they're all good that's the thing you're saying it's up there it's not as good as the rest yeah
00:56:48
yeah you're then you're it was over hyped you have no idea what you're talking about no see that's and that's a that's a dumb statement
00:56:54
that a dumb guy says no no because here's another here's another reason why i like it okay okay is this i love the fact that like
00:57:02
um jackie chan gets i mean um [Music] it's all right bruce lee gets beat up but here's here just listen to my point okay maybe in my point of view you know i
00:57:14
enjoyed the relationship between the two brad pitt that's the first time you've talked about it
00:57:19
what you first of all mentioned the set and then no no i love their relationship and that hollywood used to be like that
00:57:26
right where the the stunt men you know became really good friends with the actor you pine for old hollywood not
00:57:32
only that right and i also like and i relate to it the movie here's a kid right who's on his way out and i felt like that in my career before yeah but he's a really good looking movie star
00:57:44
well no but leon and andrew kevin was a tv star trying to get into movies i'm sorry he was a really good looking television star
00:57:51
i keep the first part is very important i know you're trying to dig at me but it's not a dig it's just you're not you're
00:57:56
nothing like him i understand that i know but you're a goofball who gets you know who [ __ ] shows your belly on stage
00:58:02
this guy is supposed to be a debonair hot guy from i know but i'm just saying just the the the idea of a good looking
00:58:10
i know i'm not that right right but a guy who's on his way out on his way out is what i'm saying and i i can relate to
00:58:16
that aspect sure that's true right of a guy that's on his way out and how like after this [ __ ] chaos
00:58:22
that happens right at the end it seems as though that he was able to reinvent himself too
00:58:28
so there's a good story you know yeah he gets invited into the polanski house right yeah right which is
00:58:33
[ __ ] crazy insane but i love the idea like those scenes where he is like in a scene and he cuts you know he cuts
00:58:41
himself like he starts over or the frustrations in the [ __ ] green room i'm sure you've done that yeah totally are you [ __ ] up on a
00:58:47
scene and you're [ __ ] you know yeah you lose it and all that all that stuff i've never seen in a movie
00:58:53
before betrayed and i relate it to it i guess i guess look it is a good i said it's a good
00:58:58
film it's just not of the stuff he makes the reason maybe my inherent issue is i'm not in
00:59:04
love with movies about hollywood i never have like there we go then i just [ __ ] no it's just it just is
00:59:10
never see swimming with sharks no oh my god who who is that kevin spacey benicio del toro you have to watch it is it about hollywood yeah this is my problem i don't like it's so good hollywood is already
00:59:21
jerking off in its own mouth i i would rather see original stories that have nothing to do with we have that you know i don't like it
00:59:26
and i think they're better and i think they're better i don't like emma or any of these [ __ ] colonial
00:59:32
[ __ ] english you know i mean 1700 movies i don't relate to it where people wear wigs and
00:59:37
you know or whatever i don't like it you do like some of them no i don't you like none of them no i don't relate
00:59:43
to it when i'm watching it i'm like oh these are just aristocratic white people in a castle
00:59:48
arguing about like you know status and and and betrayal i don't give a [ __ ] i get that
00:59:54
you like it no no i mean i get that that's annoying to you it's annoying to me because i'm a fat asian guy yeah why would i relate in any way
01:00:01
imagine if if they had an aristocratic fat asian one i like no but i do like um old you know
01:00:06
asian ones yeah yeah yeah yeah i relate to those but i agree with you i don't like the victorian stuff either that's not my
01:00:12
go-to i but the point is there's movies for everyone right but it's like there are some movies where i'll like dangerous liaisons is a victorian kind of love that movie
01:00:24
okay right because there's just something about i just like the movie i get it i just i am i'm a weirdo for
01:00:33
for things about hollywood i think i don't i don't love it um my dad was a fan of westerns and i um
01:00:40
i only like spaghetti westerns italian ones i like sergio leone films well yeah they're they're great the band
01:00:46
the ugly because i think they they're just shot like a tarantino movie well they're fun they're phenomenal they're so good so you like
01:00:52
once upon a time in the west do you like anything by anything john wayne or no no never i've never seen it pilgrim yeah
01:00:58
i don't like it no none of it's tough well i like to conquer you know what that is yeah what the what the conqueror
01:01:06
no well it's when john wayne played genghis khan did you know that good movie did you do it no at one point in his career he goes i
01:01:19
want to play gangscon yeah and the studio was like no no no he's like i'm john wayne
01:01:28
right i'm going to do a screen test listen here pilgrims i'm going to be genghis khan you think i'm lying no john wayne how insult
01:01:43
you know what i you know what you know what what i think about is all the chinese actors who auditioned
01:01:49
for it and then found out that he got the rock but there's no way they auditioned anybody yeah they just gave it to him and then and
01:01:55
then they cast it with a bunch of chinese people and they were like why wouldn't you cast a chinese guy and they're like because it's john wayne
01:02:01
yeah i mean it looks good actually really he did have squinty eyes yeah john wayne was always like this yeah yeah it's pretty good it's so
01:02:14
insulting my dad loves western i know but this is so insulting is it though yeah it is dude why because it's a [ __ ] because let me say this right now what if there were no big chinese actors back
01:02:26
then there was who [ __ ] sulu from star wars yeah he wasn't like manly enough to be genghis khan what is he gay no just because he's not like a big strong tough guy genghis khan
01:02:38
was like a big guy back then probably um mr miyagi was probably around was he not around back then he's like five three like 86 pounds
01:02:51
pap morita cabareta right yeah no he couldn't do it huh how tall are you by the way five four
01:02:57
it's my mom's side i just i was thinking about i i know that somebody asked me how tall you were yeah and i formed a little guy i said five six but i had no idea yeah i'm so small that i can't go out of
01:03:13
the green room sometimes because especially i'm in texas yeah like if i'm at the addison improv
01:03:18
because whenever i walk around after the show like someone will always pick me up yeah they grab you amen hey here he is here he is yeah yeah
01:03:26
i hate it i don't like to be touched i i don't want i don't i think it's okay to say no to all that stuff why don't you
01:03:31
just get one of the security guards there to walk you up to where you're going to take pictures and stuff so then nobody can grab you
01:03:38
oh yeah i had to one time when i was at the miami improv you ever play that room the old one
01:03:43
not the old one oh my god it was a nightmare and there was a riot in the room like a fight yeah like a group of family and if one family was fighting another family oh wait did you put it on youtube
01:03:55
no oh that was another fight sandy danto put that on youtube oh yeah i had another fight in my ontario show
01:04:01
that was here in california yeah oh where it was just sometimes riots break out in my shows that was a fist fight in like the third
01:04:06
row that guy was punching that guy in the back of the head it was crazy it's on youtube people can find it yeah yeah but like some and so um i remember
01:04:14
afterwards um the security like the doorman had to walk me to my hotel room because they were scared that you were gonna
01:04:19
started the fight what did you do i don't remember you did something i always say things and i go oh why did
01:04:26
i say that and it's starting a fight now were you the one who who who got the um rocks glass thrown at their head in the or was that you no somebody got a no i thought that was
01:04:37
you somebody got a full glass of wi of like whiskey or whatever a drink in a rock class yeah and it
01:04:43
just missed their head and it hit the wow i don't i thought that was you for some reason but i remember hearing that story
01:04:48
in my mind i thought they had said it was you and i thought dude if you get hit in the head with a rocks glass you
01:04:54
you're done you're you could you could you'd pass out and then what if you hit your head on the ground and split open your skull
01:05:00
yeah that stuff scares me when someone threw something like that i saw charles cozart it was a black back in the day on
01:05:06
in the or yeah and an audio man audience member punches him in the face and charles
01:05:11
kozar does one of those things where you know how fighters when they get knocked so hard they freeze oh their arms go oh yeah
01:05:17
yeah so he gets hit and he freezes like this right and he and it made me laugh it's funny it's funny when somebody goes so he freezes but he doesn't fall right away oh he's still there
01:05:30
trying to like control it but he's frozen right so he freezes and he has the mic
01:05:36
in his hand like this and he slowly falls but and he falls over then the guy oh the guy that punches him runs out into the sunset we never find him again yeah it's the
01:05:46
best that's what happens yeah get away the guy got away with it i was at the club that night that that guy got shot in the chest were you there
01:05:53
oh my god no on the patio you know that story don't you that was a that's a real that's a real
01:05:58
scary story a man ran up to a guy on the patio of the community so i'll never forget i was in the side by the the belly room
01:06:04
side and people were smoking we were talking by the parking lot and a guy literally got out of a car
01:06:09
walked right onto the patio went right up to a guy and shot him in the chest chest and then the guy dies
01:06:14
immediately and josh nasser and a couple doormen yeah holding his body i know while he
01:06:20
dies yes right so the guy's dying bleeding out from the wind the front door of the or somebody's
01:06:26
somebody's on stage somebody's on stage right healing three feet feeling in a different way
01:06:32
yeah yeah how crazy is it that at that club in recent memory some guy just got shot
01:06:38
and you know he was like if you were working at like jamba juice right let's say we were working at jamba
01:06:45
juice right and some guy got shot yeah orange dreams in front of jamba juice what an insane insane right you and i would probably never work at that zombie john but juice again
01:06:57
i'd leave california i would leave that would scar me yeah i would never drink juice i mean juice is out every time you see a
01:07:04
jamba you'd shudder ptsd i have to say this i am very very jealous that you're going
01:07:10
to hawaii because i need a vacation so bad and i'm not i'm not lying i want to go
01:07:15
so bad but i can't you can go for three days we're shooting no and they make you quarantine dude oh that's right so i would
01:07:21
i lose too many days and i'm shooting now so i can't have you read the script yeah i've read i've read four of them
01:07:26
right everyone every one yeah yeah yeah yeah but the first one takes place uh in a different uh time period no it takes place somewhere else oh oh
01:07:38
god yeah i can't i almost slipped it out okay but anyway um but i will say this i can say this some of the cameos that we have this year in the rap world yeah insane it's just
01:07:50
it's gotten to the point where like that because kevin hart is a producer imagine kevin hart texts literally
01:07:55
whoever yeah they all love him everyone in the rap world everyone in the comedy world knows
01:08:00
him and likes him that's why the power of those guys is astonishing to me because he can literally met him kevin yeah i mean no
01:08:09
no be real no i mean yes no it's not weird that's weird kevin and i have met he doesn't know it yeah yeah he you know what's weird we met for five seconds at the thing people go all the time like
01:08:22
what was so-and-so to work with don't know right and you're like i don't know yeah you could be on screen with them i
01:08:27
don't know don't know you know i did a screw i did a sketch with ryan reynolds but you didn't i didn't because we were in the same area he wasn't there yeah i was in a scene with james franco
01:08:40
in pineapple express we were like he was right there and me and ken jung were guns right here
01:08:45
never met him he doesn't know who the [ __ ] i am do you even say hi no they go don't even look at him
01:08:51
i bet you he knows who you are he might but i'm just saying don't look they said that don't look at him really yeah and i'm like you know
01:09:00
if i could see it like bobby stop staring at the sky i'm just saying like you you um yeah well i said that to one of
01:09:05
the one of the press women said what's it like working with kevin hart yeah and i said i have no idea and she goes come on he's executive rooster tell us and i go no he i don't know and then she goes you know she's kind of
01:09:16
getting annoyed at my answer because it's too truthful she wants me to be like it's incredible and you know she wants me to do the thing yeah yeah and instead i go
01:09:23
ma'am he's in the green room that i'm also in right we're in the same green room yeah
01:09:29
we're not we don't know each other we don't know he's right he's in the room it's crazy people it's just because they
01:09:36
see it and they go they assume these things that it's like but sometimes it is true like jim carrey did i'm dying up here
01:09:42
and i we had dinner all the time right so sometimes it's cool yeah sometimes it is real you know a lot of people aren't magnum pi
01:09:48
fans but like the stars everyone on the cast and we text and we're good friends why
01:09:53
do you say they're not fans i think people love that i love the show i love doing the show but you know but my point is is that
01:09:58
um you know sometimes it does work but then sometimes it's like i have no idea even who they are
01:10:05
or what they have no idea who's an actor that you worked with that you i know this is for you because
01:10:10
i know it'll be somebody that you don't know uh that you don't know if this is true but you think they
01:10:16
don't like you but you don't know that to be true but you worked with them for a while and you're just like i don't even know if they like me or not
01:10:22
because you just never really connected or talked or had a lot of scenes together like you just can't tell not a mean way
01:10:30
not like you don't like them but just uh sasha baron cohen you just don't know if he doesn't know if he likes me but you worked with him
01:10:36
he and you know i think he would say hi i don't know how he feels though you don't know if he thinks you're funny
01:10:42
i think he thinks i'm funny i just don't know um if he likes you as a person i don't know isn't it so weird yeah i don't know i
01:10:47
don't like that feeling yeah but you know it's not my job to know well he respects you enough to hire you
01:10:53
you heard me one time i also worked with them yeah yeah did you see the new movie or no no i wanted though i haven't seen it
01:11:00
either i want to i don't know i'm like i think it's me because it's like i get you know like i remember the first time
01:11:06
i did curb and larry david was like doing a crossword puzzle and he's super sweet
01:11:12
right but i remember like i was just like how i was what i was thinking and my and
01:11:18
sometimes when i'm around certain people and i'm in a situation where like i can't believe i'm here yeah i get so overly nervous that i i
01:11:25
overthink same right and i get ultra sensitive so one little like head twitch where i go oh that means he
01:11:31
doesn't like me right right right but where you just assume certain things he's writing and you're like um yeah
01:11:37
is that your car and he's like yeah and you're like oh cool do you like it and he's like yeah yeah i like it yeah and then you in
01:11:49
your head and you're going but there are people that are around you believe it or not
01:11:54
that feel the same way about me yeah because you know there are people right that like just say who it is no i'm no i'm not i don't want to say anything specific but it's like i've been in situations too where like
01:12:06
i'm at a club right and some opener is opening for me and they're really excited
01:12:12
and you can tell they're overly excited yeah right and so i don't want them to think that i don't like them
01:12:17
because i know i know they're ultra sensitive as well sure right but then there are sometimes i do
01:12:23
i become mean just to see what they do why i don't know i just do but this was the one girl i was in phoenix yeah and this one girl was so nervous i go you better do a good
01:12:36
job bobby no just legit and she i was just kidding yeah because i know i'm i've only been doing for like eight months but i'm gonna be fine she's having like a [ __ ] mental breakdown say something like that i
01:12:47
don't know man it's like a it's in a room you know so i know i was just right and she was
01:12:54
uh i'm gonna i've been doing every night every night i've been going up i don't know my agents here i don't know
01:13:01
my agents here of course they're not then they're not there so she goes up on stage
01:13:06
and she says a joke and he gets a laugh and i'm i'm you know in the green room laughing oh that's a funny joke she's really doing it right and then three minutes
01:13:17
later she says the same joke i don't know she says the same joke and at the punch line
01:13:22
she still pauses and she goes did i say this joke already in the audience all simon chalice it goes yes she goes and she starts crying
01:13:36
because you no she's just crying because of you right and i'm in the green room and i
01:13:42
can't breathe dying laughing dying laughing menace guyana right i'm on the floor like a [ __ ] fish everybody's laughing
01:13:50
right she gets off right and she's you know it's not bubble crying it's not bubbles so sorry and i jokingly go you're fired bobby i know she goes okay i'll go i'm
01:14:05
kidding we all make the mistake right and i i teach her lessons about yeah you know it's all these experiences
01:14:12
she killed herself she's dead she's dead yeah i went to a funeral yeah and at the funeral you're
01:14:17
like telling the story you're like and then she's up there snap bubbles what an idiot yeah yeah
01:14:23
well you know it's fun to mess with people i like myself it's fun but also you can't do that i can be mean you can't do that anymore
01:14:29
i'm not gonna do it anymore not in this world have fun in the desert all right thank you for being a bad friend
01:14:42
i did get clovit we kept it a secret for privacy purposes it was hard to keep it a secret you know
01:14:49
i'm a blabbermouth think i told anybody yes i do because she called me yeah she said
01:14:56
[Music] i've been using this eyebrow thickening spray it costs 14.99 14.99 go to thighbrow.com go to thighbrow.com go to thy thybroward.com go to
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cybrow.com how are you sweet how are you good how are you sweet how are you feuding i love it thighbrow.com
01:15:40
[Music] everything that we've done so far has been very good i think what do you guys think okay
01:15:52
i'm sure you're so offended see jules you're playing this is how it works okay no this this is
01:16:19
there was a woman named [ __ ] [ __ ] face very well but one time there was this huge pumpkin go to
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thighbrow.com how are you pewding good how are you feuding sweet how are you pudding i love it
01:16:40
thighbrow.com go to thybrow.com go to thybrow.com go to thybrow.com by the way i called bobby three times the past two days
01:16:54
and i waited as long as i could i go who is [Music] yes [Music]