00:00:05
wait i don't know how to make their sounds [Laughter] what is it go go do it again put the cards down put the card down and
00:00:16
just do it i know what it is yeah yeah i got it that was really good you two are bad friends who are these two idiots
00:00:30
white dude i'm an asian dude you two are disgusting oh you two or something we're bad friends to go from hawaii to this dreary dystopian nightmare bro
00:00:43
yeah so good you know when you're flying into la you know at night especially and you see
00:00:49
just the vastness of sadness yeah how big it is how big and sad it is yeah it's deep you hear that music
00:01:00
[Music] i lost my voice i don't know how i lost honestly i lost my voice i i i literally woke up yeah and i was
00:01:17
trying to yell at my wife as i do yeah and i just couldn't i couldn't do it does it sound like it hurts
00:01:22
are you sick yeah no i know i just it's like gone yeah i don't know what it's from dude
00:01:28
i'm right now i just realized my eyebrows are cartoony bro they're big again what happened trim those down bro no i
00:01:35
leave them this way because of you oh really yeah i want this holy [ __ ] it looks good right it looks like uh
00:01:41
very cartoony yeah yeah don't do that oh dude honestly i lost my voice i think from
00:01:47
i do this charity every single weekend where i i go and i uh feed the homeless i it's it's called feeding feeding [ __ ] and i feed and [ __ ] the homeless and uh i don't know maybe it was too
00:01:59
many [ __ ] i fed a bunch too he didn't do any of that no you know that jules right
00:02:05
there's not his his heart is a black stone hey guys to start oh my god hold on let's can i
00:02:11
do a real can we start from the real let's start from the beginning we don't have him we haven't even
00:02:17
started and we have him interrupting hey buddies let's go i have a bit i wrote something last night with my wife
00:02:24
let's do a questionnaire i have a bunch of questions about you know yeah yeah about the music and music yeah
00:02:30
1970s music here we go yeah created cold water what is it revival very good one point
00:02:38
for andrew right george ringo john who's the one paul okay one for bobby and then we go on and on and he thinks
00:02:48
he's being clever he is clever though he is very clever he's a clever saying that like you can't open up bro with a [ __ ]
00:02:56
bit that you wrote already he wants to though what were you gonna say fancy it wasn't a bit for me was i
00:03:02
called open see he wrote a cold open that's good for the [ __ ] tonight show well let's hear the cold open yeah
00:03:08
let's hear the cold open you [ __ ] well you have you guys have uh some cards in front of
00:03:13
you uh see we're not doing a bit no we're not i'm not doing it i refuse it we we're in control of the show right we
00:03:19
will do the [ __ ] bit like later how about we do a cold closer with that sounds great okay good jules look right into your camera jules has a new camera it's high def so because people because
00:03:32
people complain the old camera was terrible yeah so look into the camera and i want you to do a traditional opening for bad
00:03:37
friends say welcome to bad friends you know give us like a run give the fans a rundown of what's going to happen on this episode today
00:03:43
go ahead into your camera go ahead hi guys welcome to bad friends and today we're going to play some cards
00:03:58
you're fired yeah we're not playing cards we're not playing cards start from the beginning
00:04:03
you have to guess what's going to go wrong today so just how about this not just one thing you gotta name four things four things
00:04:09
that's gonna happen right you're gonna make them up right go ahead and action hi guys this
00:04:15
is rudy and welcome to bad friends today we're going to play named tito bobby's lee's favorite animal good okay very good that's a game
00:04:31
we're going to eat another balut ah okay okay interesting and then we're going to sing a song i like songs and lastly lastly we're going to
00:04:47
pray to god wow wow what a show can we pray to god first let's pray let's open with prayer together why
00:04:52
don't you open with a prayer jewel yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah over with the prayer
00:04:59
dear god good opening that's a good start yeah thank you for this wonderful day okay
00:05:08
i'm thankful that tito bobby arrived safely from hawaii i'm glad we have two other dogs in the house oh god it's it's i know and you don't know you
00:05:21
have no [ __ ] i can feel it i can feel it you have no [ __ ] idea bro okay glad to see to andrew george and andreas
00:05:31
and that's it in that order yeah yeah are you going to close it out how do you close the prayer you got to close that
00:05:37
out somehow amen there we go hey or a woman we don't discriminate here at bad friends
00:05:42
yeah bob welcome back thank you from hawaii i come back so i come last night right
00:05:48
yeah i'm like i [ __ ] landed i didn't eat all day i landed you know try to social distance
00:05:55
in the [ __ ] airports the whole thing you you get it yeah i get it the guy the [ __ ] puerto rican man picks me up
00:06:01
at the airport hello how are you i don't okay let's go yeah we get in the car and i call you know kalai last night i'm i'm in the car yeah i'm gonna be there in about 30 minutes okay just
00:06:14
mind the two other dogs i go what what yeah we got two dots mine you know just they're downstairs two new dogs i go what what a pit bull we have a new pit bull and a little a
00:06:26
little black one chihuahua whatever that is it's this side except the people the pitbull is the biggest dog i've ever seen in my life right it's got the head of [ __ ] joey diaz
00:06:37
it's huge right and then the little one is like this it's like a um kevin hart yeah i call him little kevin hart's so
00:06:43
you got a little kevin hart right and this gigantic rock right right i come in they're just yapping right running around they're not
00:06:50
even puppies they're full-grown adult dogs adult dogs yeah and who are they who whose dogs are they a homeless woman what a homeless woman she yeah she's sick so
00:07:01
what what is that it's our job now if is to [ __ ] take in all dogs that are [ __ ] homeless yeah how did you get these dogs jules um a friend of a decalila texted her
00:07:15
homeless friend no um her friend was helping the homeless situation yeah okay that's why i don't
00:07:22
pick up the phone yeah you gotta yeah you don't you don't pick up the phone no it could be anything it could be like hey you know i
00:07:28
have three kids one of them's you know blind and you know his heart is on his shoulder
00:07:33
yeah he has a thing you know i mean can you take care i don't pic anything can happen no yeah i can't i'm sorry i don't pick
00:07:38
up the [ __ ] phone you [ __ ] up by picking up the phone and now how long don't look at me like that one young lady now also how long are we gonna have
00:07:45
these [ __ ] dogs for maybe two weeks yeah you [ __ ] [ __ ] hey hey hey hey hey hey
00:07:52
you're not gonna do anything oh hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey whoa whoa whoa whoa how do
00:07:57
you think you got inside of that house okay yeah yeah cool it out i'm not gonna do anything we're gonna
00:08:02
take care of them not you um because that's what i said you said i'm not doing this no i just
00:08:08
said oh i'm not doing anything i don't want to do anything they were like there was a piece of poo
00:08:13
i saw earlier today leave it i acted as if it was like i had seen it before yeah i mean like it was a part of like a
00:08:20
cup holder or something you know you should do you should you should put like um a little something in the poo to let them know that you saw it yeah
00:08:27
a little memento a little tiny flower yeah yeah a little filler confederate flag yeah little confederate flag right just
00:08:33
to know right yeah yeah it's been seized it's been seized and it's yours and it's yours to pick up right what are the dogs names do we name
00:08:40
the dogs the pit bull is babe that's what homo you know homeless people yeah yeah yeah
00:08:45
and the chihuahua is lady almost she probably wants to say baby baby baby comes up baby baby what's the other
00:08:51
one's called lady benedict and they rhyme because you can't say that many words lady baby yeah baby lady laziest
00:08:56
[ __ ] name baby lady baby yeah exactly you don't even know which one they're calling say no you ever like run into a homeless person and they they start talking gibberish
00:09:08
but then you agree with them all the time hey man and he doesn't know why and you're like
00:09:14
i agree he doesn't know why yeah i'm always and the toca the toca needs to go back to the [ __ ]
00:09:21
house and they go oh yeah right and then you're like you're in this conversation with a [ __ ] homeless person yeah dude i was in hawaii bro and bro
00:09:29
so i'm walking you know i had eight days off yeah in the middle there yeah you know and they're like you know you
00:09:35
have eight days off no one's really walking around there's nothing to do yeah what about the beach you can't go to the beach no because where they have us they have us at the docks oh there's no beach there
00:09:47
it's like boats right right right it's beautiful no it's still pretty boats yeah you like a big boat guy i'm not a big bull guy
00:09:53
but you don't like boats at all but visually they're not it's not like seeing like you know
00:09:58
industrial pipes at least it's not trash yeah yeah so i i go you know what today
00:10:04
i can't just sit here all day i'm gonna go for a little walk you know get some nature in yeah soak in the sun
00:10:10
get your steps and get the vitamins i got that you know how in the energy yeah yeah energy well vitamin d vitamin
00:10:15
energy very helpful so anyway i put on my [ __ ] oh i have these um i went you know i've been going clothes shopping online yeah i've been pisces um you know those tights what do you mean
00:10:27
like lululemon yeah yeah but i'm getting different brands i'm good i got um tights from
00:10:32
nike fila and i also got the types from um super dry yeah they're really super you
00:10:37
know super super tight yeah the super tight ones right yeah and um i didn't you know how jokoy will
00:10:42
wear shorts over it yeah i don't do that you don't you go full blown time okay so they see it they see everything so they see the
00:10:48
knuckle sticking right now yeah okay yeah and wear a tight shirt right and that's oh for some reason i always wear
00:10:54
a beanie that's my thing because i'm wearing a mask so i want some people maybe to recognize me yeah i
00:10:59
was just going to say you want to make sure people know who you are right with the glasses and so i sometimes i'll get it mm-hmm you know people drive by what's up
00:11:06
they're friends right i'm like what's up yeah you recognize me thing maybe i'll do that whole thing right
00:11:11
so then i'm walking around this [ __ ] homeless guy rides a bike toward me he goes hey man
00:11:19
be happy be free take off your mask and you rise by right and i like all of a sudden i was just like you know because i wanted to say something i couldn't get it out he was on his bike
00:11:33
and i was trying to get it out but he was still he was cruising and i turned around and soon he was gone right so i couldn't even say what i want to say what did you want to say i was gonna lie
00:11:44
you know i was lying my friend randy smith died from it he was 26 and he was healthy like a full-blown lie right you know he was a [ __ ] triathlete to the quad athlete and he's a [ __ ]
00:11:55
he he's he's a cruncher man and he's a champion and he was healthy he had no premium
00:12:01
abilities right right right and he died from it just to just lie right so shake it up but as soon as i
00:12:08
was trying to say that he was gone man yeah so he kind of sit with you all day yeah it sat with me all day bro
00:12:13
and he won that little war i almost got beat up in my own neighborhood why i this guy i you know you do i do
00:12:21
the white guy thing when somebody drives too fast i go like this i love your white guy yeah i love your guy yeah i love it so this guy flies by me in a in like a dusty old dirty disgusting
00:12:33
pickup truck yeah and i this thing yeah one of these yeah that you know yeah yeah yeah and i start walking and then i hear
00:12:45
i love when that happens he backs up and gets right next to me and i've got my little dog my little tiny dog i love your dog and i'm and i'm scared and
00:12:51
nervous and i see this dude is massive and i'm thinking great i now got to get beat up for being you know annoyed in my own neighborhood yeah yeah and in the most earnest honest
00:13:02
way he goes did i do something wrong i go uh you saw her going fast he goes oh okay
00:13:09
did you flick me off no no no i i was like you know annoyed and then and then i did lie he goes you got kids here or something i go yes my fam i have kids we live right
00:13:20
here we have little kids that's a lie and he goes oh my bad okay i'll slow down i was
00:13:26
like thank you very much and off he goes my dog looks up at me and goes we don't have
00:13:31
kids yeah dude he i mean like shaved head tats up on that and he goes did i do something wrong [ __ ] i'm gonna get beat up in my own
00:13:44
neighborhood yeah so beat the [ __ ] out of me but i lied said i had kids got right out of it
00:13:49
fine if i said i don't have kids then he would have been like oh then don't be a [ __ ] and he would have kicked the [ __ ] out of him and you do have to lie
00:13:54
yeah i don't lie all the time we have children here we have little little children here yeah yeah we have to protect the neighborhood one of them
00:14:01
is one of them's blind in a wheelchair yeah yeah sometimes he rolls out in the street yeah and he's just where am i yeah he's
00:14:07
been hit like four times the poor guy we're trying to help him out so the guy have you seen that guy before i've seen the truck in the neighborhood he's working on one of the houses up the
00:14:17
street dude there is a house they've been working on for the two years that i've been in my neighborhood
00:14:24
two years the rumor i heard was the couple started it together and then split so they just stopped and now they're finishing the house and i just can't like at this point just
00:14:36
leave it it's all you lost yeah like just to stop stop the house set it on get the here's what you do you
00:14:43
pay a guy to burn it to the ground and you get the insurance right like i know one of these guys
00:14:48
good fellas i know when he turn the [ __ ] that bar down burn it yeah get the money yeah it's not hard to cover up by the way
00:14:55
it's so funny when you said that it's like when i first moved into our house right i've never had neighbors
00:15:01
really and i've never talked to neighbors well because you before in the condo you didn't give me a condo it's also i'm just not
00:15:07
i don't like small talk and who does and i'm also like a weird little [ __ ] guy so anyway um i we you know we're packing
00:15:13
one day and this guy comes up this is before the [ __ ] pandemic yeah and he's like this balding kind of
00:15:18
fat or older guy he goes what's up man i'm cliff angle and i go what what is that name right
00:15:26
cliff man i've seen remember we've done that commercial in 88 98 oh right wow we used to see at auditions
00:15:33
all the time welcome to the neighborhood so this guy knows you right right i go oh yeah yeah good and he goes yes so
00:15:41
anyway you know we have these powwows i go no and i just walked back up by cliff angle i left cliff
00:15:47
angle cliff angle i just made up the name i know i don't see his real name i know i know his name his real name is okay because i make up
00:15:54
names right and whenever i make up a name they always come out like names you've never heard before
00:15:59
right by the way cliff angle probably is a real guy you think so yeah oh but i don't know how to do so i don't talk to anybody
00:16:05
the guy next to us right is a producer a famous like a famous yeah yeah you know him oh okay right he produces a lot
00:16:12
of comedy central [ __ ] oh really yeah huh and he's the one that um i don't know if i should i'll [ __ ] it say it yeah we're gonna regret it but he'll call him he's going to call me and go that was
00:16:23
inappropriate well we're not going to call anybody on this show anymore exactly we're not are we no so we were
00:16:30
negotiating yeah so i was looking at houses and then in the in the and then my [ __ ] um what you call it the real estate person yeah says um you know the guy that owns
00:16:40
the house he actually know him but he doesn't want me to tell you know him because he doesn't want to lower his price oh wow
00:16:47
right that's interesting it's interesting right yeah i go yeah but i could just call him and go what the [ __ ] are you doing right you
00:16:53
have to say you cannot he goes you cannot tell him why you're not supposed to know who owns the house
00:16:58
before you yeah he goes yeah i didn't know i didn't know he i don't know i didn't know the name even even when he said
00:17:04
i knew the name he knows me we've worked together you know when you do a comedy central whatever
00:17:09
right you don't know all the producers with that you don't meet people it's a thousand people yes he knows who i am right right and i go oh and so
00:17:16
um i had to pretend that i didn't even you know i mean that i didn't know that he owned the house until after i
00:17:23
bought it but even still you don't but now i have a i do know i know who he is now because i went to his house afterwards he started inviting me like
00:17:29
his parties is he having a nice night i have a really big big nice house he does but he [ __ ] me on the house
00:17:34
why you overpaid yes seriously you wouldn't budge so when you go to his house when he throws parties steal stuff
00:17:41
oh yeah just take [ __ ] yeah but jeff ross and some people have something they're all there take [ __ ] from him too oh yeah [ __ ] that
00:17:46
guy yeah let people come inside you go inside of his house take stuff yeah and then the guy next to me he's an
00:17:51
old man that old man he's the god does he complain yeah my dog on the backyard he does you don't like him yeah and all of a sudden like he's watching i'll look around i'll go
00:18:02
he's not here and then you know i'm with the dogs and all of a sudden i'm here hey man keep your dogs down just pick up
00:18:07
where the [ __ ] is and i look up and he's in the tree coming down you know i mean like he's like in a tree you know i mean
00:18:12
right and then like a another dog i won't see him i'll go hey buddy you know you can keep the dogs down i'll look around and he's
00:18:18
underneath like a bush you know me pop popping up i've just been hanging out under yeah yeah he's the worst you don't like him
00:18:24
either do you no he's a white guy in me what is his name do you know his name no we don't know his name does he ever say
00:18:30
anything to you no he doesn't he doesn't you think this one better now you better know
00:18:35
this little one people like delivery people they think that she's a mute they think that she is like
00:18:42
like a handicapped mute they're like i dropped off like a mental like your handicap daughter and this girl came out you know
00:18:48
i mean you know this girl came out like it didn't speak english i go yeah but she's normal no but she's just like all
00:18:54
you know i mean are you sure her eyes are weird i don't know if you can trust her yeah
00:18:59
what did you do while tito was in hawaii i played games study school you didn't do any [ __ ] school work don't lie i know that's why i should say you don't
00:19:12
do school work i do you do yeah i figure you just take the test and you ace it so we haven't we didn't talk about there's so much that went on man yeah we got to talk we didn't talk about
00:19:24
the capitol riots yeah we didn't talk about the election well i got hurt in the capital rights i
00:19:29
fell off of the top good bit i was climbing i know no i didn't get in i know i could because you had to climb that wall it's so steep it's so slippery that wall you
00:19:40
know i mean and other people had like ropes and different things right they had yeah materials and then i took a [ __ ] um
00:19:47
a [ __ ] up a pole and those windows so thick thick as [ __ ] bro this big i kept taking
00:19:53
and then i created a hole and then i got from the other side right on my eye he did a little [ __ ]
00:20:00
pepper spray right in my eye so much so i had to back up like oh [ __ ] you know i mean this revolution revolutionary working
00:20:06
you know and so we had to stop yeah but i've been obsessed with that you know it's like when i've been on
00:20:11
possesses um you know they're caught up in the moment right and they're like yeah this is it
00:20:18
you know right they actually thought that they could overturn and like take over the government right and
00:20:24
then and then you know they got went home they don't didn't realize the consequences yeah i know
00:20:29
right they probably you know what 20 years yeah right you broke into a federal business i know are you out of your mind out of your mind you would think that you would that would be in your head like is this
00:20:41
no because they think there's power in the masses they think they can't get all of us you know how like when you were when you were at a party at a house party and the
00:20:47
cops show up yeah and you're like if we all run they're probably not going to get most of us all right that's how they feel they're
00:20:54
like they're not going to catch me they're going to get like two or three people yeah but that was back in the day when there was no social media
00:21:10
yeah the guy that works at walgreens wednesday to saturday 7-8 pm it's me and they're just like
00:21:17
so stupid and i know what they're doing they're bragging to the other their other friends that
00:21:22
have the same ideology that are stuck at home right probably being envious like i should be there or too fat to even leave they're
00:21:28
probably you know all right well let's not get mean okay sorry that's not gonna mean it's a regional problem
00:21:34
okay so let me babble oh my god i heard you're using babble a lot my friend see see see yeah see what that's what you've learned and you knew that before
00:21:45
no first of all it's italian see not oh okay so um babel is a um a learning mechanism yes it is for learning languages yeah okay 15 minute lessons all right 50 minute lessons and it's a
00:21:57
mechanism it's a good it's a wonderful mechanism yeah uh me uh me and me wife are using and that's uh also irish me and me wife
00:22:04
that's all we're using babel genuinely um easy to use my friends and also it uses sometimes you know how like
00:22:10
um a lot of these language mechanisms right teach you how to speak in a very like clinical and like way but
00:22:16
but babel teaches you how to speak in street streets like street slang right normal how normal
00:22:21
people talk right and they design it with practical it's real world is what they call it real world conversations in mind so it's not just like
00:22:27
table is hard yes um the the lessons are created by over 100 language experts babel is great all jokes aside you can
00:22:34
choose from 14 different languages spanish french italian german and many many more i am doing italian right now truthfully yeah i am actually trying to
00:22:40
learn italian i'm embarrassed because i'm bad at it yeah um and the speaker speech recognition technology helps you improve your
00:22:46
pronunciation and accent watch you ready go ahead you ready look at me yeah look at me parmigiano i feel like i'm in
00:22:53
oh my god it was amazing oh my god and there it is right now when you purchase a three-month babble subscription you'll get an additional three months for free bob take it away i'm gonna take it that's
00:23:04
six months right so right now when you purchase a three-month babble to subscription you'll get additional three months for free
00:23:09
that's pretty good that's six months for the price of three did you just say that i did yeah yeah just go to babel.com and use the promo code
00:23:16
batfriends that's babble.com code bad friends for a extra three months free that's right
00:23:22
right now when you purchase a three-month battle subscript subscription you'll get an additional three months
00:23:28
for free that's six months for the price of three just go to babel.com and use promo code
00:23:33
bad friends that's b-a-b-b-e-l dot com code bad friend that's right for an extra
00:23:40
three months free babel language for life babble language for life butcher box that's right you love me i
00:23:47
love me i love you i just got this literally this morning i got pulled pork uh ground beef i got
00:23:53
chicken i got st louis ribs it's so good they're offering a rack of saint louis ribs a pack of bacon pack of pulled pork for
00:23:59
free in your first box which i got today yeah so good we love it um we get on butcher box once
00:24:05
a month it ships right to my friendship it shits right to your front dome we have all kinds of meats as well it's my favorite look
00:24:10
if you're a meat eater this is the way to go it's high quality meat at a better price than you get at the grocery store oh my god it's high quality you don't
00:24:16
have to go to the grocery store which is the best thing yeah um and there's always food there for you in the freezer every month
00:24:22
okay go ahead butcher box chips a curated selection of high quality meat right to my home all meat is free from
00:24:30
antibiotics that's right and additive hormones no added added hormones okay how many how many
00:24:37
pounds of meat come oh my god 9 to 11 pounds of meat enough for 24 individual meals
00:24:42
that's a lot hacker fresh no it's packed fresh and it ship frozen so it stays that way
00:24:48
yeah look i customize my box yeah and i go with one of theirs either way it's the best meat shipped to my door uh it's one less chip to the grocery store like i said it's 100 grass-fed beef
00:25:03
uh free-range chicken heritage pork uh also listen i'm not gonna read it i just want
00:25:09
to say it's the best meat in the world to get it it's delicious yeah yeah yeah i got i literally do i use it and i love it and
00:25:14
i used it before we even got them on the show uh butcher box you're gonna get the highest quality meat around for about six bucks a meal which is incredible
00:25:20
um so right now you can get a free rack of st louis ribs a pack of bacon and a pack of pulled pork off your first box
00:25:26
that's one rack of saint louis ribs one pack of bacon and one pack of pulled pork for free in the first box that's great all you gotta do is go to butcherbox.com
00:25:37
that's butcherbox.com bad friends butcherbox.com bad friends everything's been so chaotic
00:25:45
and everybody's dying hank aaron died larry king died my god today larry king died alex trebek died
00:25:51
uh you know a month ago and they got the new guy ken jennings doing jeopardy yeah he's nice but it's not alex trebek
00:26:00
what are you gonna do stop the show no franchise i know but you can't well then they should get the hologram alex trebek in there because dude okay listen look look at let's look at family feud yes
00:26:12
steve richard dawson right yeah kissed people on the mouth he used to grab girls breasts yeah he goes welcome hey good
00:26:19
luck 100 people we asked yeah yeah he'd go good luck right and right on tv and people were just like
00:26:33
yay right he didn't give a [ __ ] he's assaulting her yeah yeah yeah yeah he was expected it was okay no no
00:26:40
one cared yeah yeah and then you had several different hosts five i think before like before steve
00:26:46
harvey yeah but steve harvey is killing it on that show he is he's so funny on that show yeah but that's
00:26:53
because the show involves humor right jeopardy isn't funny it's still you hatching dawson isn't a funny guy he was fyi he was back then he was okay funny
00:27:04
because he in the middle of asking he would just honk attack all right i know but that's okay but what i'm saying though is is that um
00:27:11
you'll find a guy eventually i don't know man that's a heart he that the reason that i think it's tough with
00:27:17
jeopardy is because how do you read a question in that way that he used to that was like
00:27:23
he was intelligent so you believed he knew the answer even if i don't know if he ever did and then also it was like he sounded
00:27:30
like a it was like a book it sounded like it was pre-made all those questions were like perfect for him to read
00:27:36
and anybody else that does it sounds like when andres asks like andres ask us a trivia question
00:27:41
watch look at how hard it is hey guys see what i mean i'm turning the channel immediately hey guys it's gone i know i finished it this question though
00:27:52
who directed elf john favreau no no who is uh adam mckay john fabro damn bobby wins
00:28:06
did you really think it was andy and andrew mckay adam mckay adam mckay no i didn't know who [ __ ] directed alphabet i know john
00:28:11
did it no i mean i know now yeah thanks to fancy b yeah actually you could take the job b that
00:28:16
was pretty good you know john favreau is uh favreau whatever favorite row favorite favreau what a career rudy what a career though
00:28:28
i'm saying he started in rudy as like the dumpy best friend i know right right he was in that huge
00:28:34
yeah and then um because swingers swingers is what did it though well that's what because they see i think swingers is what did vince as a movie icon i think it made
00:28:46
favreau a piece of the business forever right but no one knew who the [ __ ] those
00:28:52
two were no [ __ ] swingers they [ __ ] wrote that thing produced that thing right and they made that thing happen
00:28:58
yeah it's like that you know we you and i might do a netflix movie yes we're gonna make that happen
00:29:04
no we have to do it yeah yeah because we because the fans want us to do something we gotta put [ __ ] no i'm not putting her in can you act
00:29:12
can you act no she can't be the pizza girl just come over one day and just knock knock let's see let's audition you right now
00:29:19
yeah yeah yeah yeah so we're all right we're hanging out playing video games and you're dropping off pizza let's go
00:29:24
yeah yeah come on yeah well let's do some dialogue before okay go ahead what what line is it when she interrupts
00:29:30
so um the line i'll give you that line all right yeah dagnabbit right the red guy's behind the wall
00:29:37
okay that's my that's your line okay all right here we go so i'm going to be like oh god man mate is your um internet janky yeah i
00:29:44
don't know what's going on i mean mom mom yeah i'm sorry dude you know maybe she should
00:29:51
get out of her tablet okay get down get down get down get that okay the red guy's behind the wall he's behind the tag he's right behind him oh what we have a
00:29:58
doorbell why would somebody yell you ding-dong yeah they just yell ding-dong what a weird pizza person
00:30:04
[Music] yeah hello i'll get it hello you got it hello hi uh did you order hi did you order your pizza yeah we did like three hours ago yeah of
00:30:16
course we did three hours ago i'm sorry this is your pizza oh where were you traffic really
00:30:24
it's two blocks away the dominoes there's still traffic anyway time out we don't have to pay for this do we you need you need to tip me
00:30:37
wow all right how much do you want yeah what do you want five dollars all right oh wow that's
00:30:42
pretty reasonable yeah all right here just throw it on the ground that's right here pick it up pick it up pick it up have a good day she's hired
00:30:48
she's hired you're hired for the gig really good i think you're good you know what pizza people always bow before they leave bow thank you there
00:30:54
you go yeah you have to bow that's how you close out a pizza scene all right we'll do it we'll make the movie we'll do it and we'll do it did
00:31:00
you have fun while you're in hawaii filming or no you know it's um oh timeout before you
00:31:05
answer that what did you miss me you know um you annoyed me did you miss me i didn't know i missed you no i was trying i was trying to um rework
00:31:16
my relationship with you yeah you know in hawaii because i want to be honest [Laughter]
00:31:25
i was reworking my relationship with you yeah at the end of the day i realized we were meant to do this together and um
00:31:32
it's a good team you know i mean yeah yeah but um i don't want to bring it back up but there was
00:31:37
something that you said in a previous podcast that was a little irritated by right yeah we're not going to bring it up and
00:31:44
i had to rework that in my mind but then i as the days went on here's what did it i worked you through
00:31:50
that existential crisis that you had yeah so here's what did it though that made me go oh that
00:31:56
so i i hate to admit this so i was there because every other day i had to wake up even my days off and i
00:32:03
had i had to get a kova test yeah so in the morning like if there was a 9 30 covet pickup right sometimes i would be
00:32:10
there with other actors yeah and there was a young actress not really that young but a good actress that you know oh yeah
00:32:17
i didn't know her yeah yeah and she when she was like hey hey are you bobby lee and i go yeah and she goes i'm so-and-so you know and i wasn't you know i'm friends with
00:32:28
all these people you're friends with right she didn't bring your name up and then so you know during all the covert tests one time
00:32:34
she was talking about podcasting and i go she goes you have a podcast right i go yeah i have one with i do one with myself and my girlfriend
00:32:41
and then i have no another one with another community and she's like who i go andrew santino and she went googly-eyed
00:32:48
she's oh my god he's so funny i swear to god no yeah no being real didn't we text you or called you you did you did you saw i go she goes oh my god he's so funny i know
00:33:00
him yeah he's great and the other great actress was like andrew santino and i go holy [ __ ]
00:33:06
it was annoying me yeah i know i'm right here [ __ ] airman i'm here too [ __ ] you know who
00:33:12
you were yeah so anyway they were they were really excited right and they told stories yeah with
00:33:19
you involved so that's when i went oh he's known you know what i mean where it's like now he's just not known in the comedy world because they're actresses they're not comedians yeah i've worked
00:33:32
they're legitimate actresses the one you texted me with we worked here that's how yeah i mean she's been in aaron sorkin things she's a huge
00:33:38
incredible she's incredible she's such a good actress great actress right so when you i'm around like elitist
00:33:44
actresses and actors right they knew me and then they get excited about you right it makes me realize oh he might
00:33:51
have some other heat that i'm not aware of so if i if i didn't have heat yeah it'd
00:33:57
be you would not be feeling well if you didn't if i didn't have heat you wouldn't want to do it with me either
00:34:03
that's i don't know what heat means to me yeah yeah you do you know what i'm saying it is that you and your you've calculated your mind
00:34:09
yeah right even before you even asked me to do this right who would i team up with that would be the best in terms of chemistry
00:34:17
not heat to me the scale was who was the most fun who was the funniest to me i i
00:34:22
understand that but there are open there's a couple of open micros right yeah that i could say to myself
00:34:28
i i think i could do a podcast with that person that's the most offensive thing you've ever said to me
00:34:33
like in the most genuine way yeah yeah you can you could do a podcast just with any random open mic guy
00:34:39
i'm just there have been but i would never ask them because they don't have heat that's
00:34:45
insane that's not insane it's insane what do you mean you what go ahead i didn't i literally didn't mean to offend him
00:34:56
but now that i did this makes me excited what hurts me the most is good i actually offended you go ahead
00:35:02
i can't yell because my voice today yeah yeah yeah go ahead which is so annoying because yeah yeah yeah not on my brand there are open
00:35:07
micros that i've seen and when i would have better chemistry with them and it would be a better podcast but they don't have
00:35:12
heat you know i mean and it's like you know one that's how i don't even memorize
00:35:18
their names i just i've seen them and i go yeah that would be better but he has no
00:35:23
heat so therefore you know it's like i know what you're doing it's not and it's not working
00:35:28
it is working no it's not because i know your face there are things that you do with your face yeah right
00:35:35
you know you know it's so funny because wait so i'm gonna say so you know there's two things and this is something i realized before i met like i've worked with you
00:35:57
on this right yes that when when white people have crow's feet which is these wrinkles here right i always looked at looked at that as a marker of someone
00:36:08
being happy because they smile all the time and that's what creates their crow's feet in their eyes
00:36:13
right but you're the first person i've ever fed where no rage does that too rage creates crow's feet because you know you smile right but your smile is
00:36:26
through about through a rage yes and anger is yes so you'll smile like you know i mean
00:36:31
this is gonna get crazy yeah i mean which creates the crow's feet because your crow's feet isn't from rage
00:36:37
no it is yeah yeah you're right and you know what i'm saying i think you misinterpreted what i was saying what i'm saying is is that
00:36:43
let's go go back to us right yes is that you know when i was with you know people
00:36:49
people were worried that we were going to stop the show why because you're your existential crisis that you had on the show
00:36:55
people were like they're going to stop it's going to be over and then people watch tiger belly and they were like what did you say to bobby
00:37:01
what did you do to bobby nothing dude to do and let me say this i don't even know what i said last time i don't know either let me say this what i missed you a lot
00:37:15
when you're in hawaii oh my god i thought about you every day holy [ __ ] i had one nightmare about you what is it
00:37:20
i had a nightmare you died in hawaii and i didn't call you but i was going to call you to tell you i'm not kidding i did nightmare you got
00:37:26
hit by a car yeah walking to dinner did you walk to dinner one night every night there's no one where else am
00:37:33
i going to go so i'm psychic you were walking to dinner you got hit by like a you know those three wheeled
00:37:38
cars two in the back one in the front yeah hawaii they're all over the place you get hit by one yeah and a big kawana guy gets you know oh bro i didn't see you bro
00:37:48
yeah yeah yeah i'm coming back from the coffee or the pineapple whatever yeah yeah and
00:37:54
you're like and you were and you were all twisted up and he was like [ __ ] dude i think you're dying bro
00:38:01
and you were like i am and you could tell you were dying and he said any last words and you were like tell
00:38:08
andrew santino i'm sorry and that i love him and he means the world to me oh and then you were out and then you died and i woke up
00:38:20
and i ran to my phone and i was gonna text you but i didn't and i knew you were okay
00:38:34
all right andres what's the game no let me just let me let me add on to that please
00:38:39
give me an opportunity and just to let the fans know let the fans know that number one
00:38:47
i didn't i don't remember i know what i did last time yeah you had like a breakdown almost it was okay no it was honest it was great fine i'm just i'm honest today yeah
00:38:58
so i don't know i remember number two um that was also because we had to backlog
00:39:04
so it just got to the point where we were doing too many episodes just you you know you do tiger belly and then i do
00:39:09
and you do whiskey and we do so many in a week it was a lot eventually it's like you go you just go i don't know what
00:39:14
else to [ __ ] say well yeah even you know i don't even know we were dumb we were doing too many with
00:39:20
too many and also it's like you need to you know take breaks so you can you know re-energize
00:39:25
100 so um anyway and number two um you're not you the only way this will end you know what i mean is if um we just physically can't do it anymore
00:39:38
in terms of like we're too busy or you know or somebody dies or something happens i mean i have been thinking about death
00:39:44
in hawaii a lot you know i i downloaded a book called the certainty of death yeah
00:39:50
it was written i forgot it was in the 70s you know i've been thinking about death a lot so that's not no truthfully i did
00:39:57
have a dream it was really weird that you say that because i i've never thought about death as much as i did
00:40:03
when when i was in hawaii that's why i had a dream it's really weird we are connected
00:40:08
look at me i hate don't look at me in the eye you can say whatever you want i want to look at you though look at me in the eyes
00:40:14
please so what i'm saying is what were you thinking about time but i did have a dream about you dying hawaii is weird and and what here's what got me out of
00:40:25
it yeah and this is real so i was thinking about death all the time because you have when you have eight days off
00:40:30
and you're alone what are you doing what are you doing you're just walking around netflix start thinking about death yeah and then
00:40:36
i i said okay so i'm 49 you know um i'm not the healthiest guy in the world let's just you know you're not unhealthy yeah but let's say maradona died you
00:40:48
know maradona correct he died and he was 60. he just recently died a couple of months ago yeah
00:40:54
let's suppose i'm like because he has the same body as i do too maragona he's a little soft yeah yeah no he's just you know roly-poly-ish you know yeah he did a lot of he he did a lot of drugs
00:41:05
he doesn't eat well so i said if i if so i'm i'm just going to take every moment
00:41:11
and just milk every moment and just be grounded in in in the present moment that's cool it's the only way to do it that's awesome so if you start thinking about death
00:41:23
then it's your whole day is [ __ ] yeah that what do you do it's not good yeah but what's the game
00:41:28
[Laughter] the game you can do it next time for next time no no we're doing the game i think we're going to do the game we're doing the game
00:41:38
post has done it again for this winter my friend they have an all new lineup essential box of
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awesome collection for guys do you like you like boxes dude i love it in fact i i got the weekender bag
00:41:49
from these guys because uh i like to pack stuff away and a nice little comfy uh i got a package too man you got a
00:41:54
package yeah the carbon one for the face ointments and washes oh that's so good face looks nice so uh i do love bespoke post they've sent me a bunch of stuff um they
00:42:05
also sent me an outdoor kit because you know i like camping and uh they sent me a little mini lantern as well as a field hatchet
00:42:11
and a cool outdoor curated kit for not just for camping for any kind of outdoor stuff and it's really cool for hiking
00:42:16
there's a certain style of jacket that i was looking for it was like it's like a western indigo a jacket yeah a style and i got it on be
00:42:24
stuck i couldn't believe it they just have really like cool yeah the stylish choices you know what i mean yeah stuff
00:42:30
it's like all stuff that i i like well they also have and they also have stuff i mean honestly it's not just one category they also have like
00:42:36
cbd ointments um they also have great bar kit stuff that i really like they've sent me a whole bunch of stuff
00:42:42
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00:43:04
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00:43:26
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00:43:56
yeah do it raycon oh my god without raycon you know i brought my raycons to hawaii oh you did yeah and i
00:44:03
watched um a bunch of new shows on netflix on it on my ipad it's so clear and crisp the sound and
00:44:08
the music is amazing the bass is good on it it's my favorite um um your your earbuds earbuds
00:44:16
yeah it's my favorite no it is it's a they're they're probably the best wireless earbuds i've had especially for working
00:44:22
out because i like to have stuff when i'm going on the runs uh and on the hikes and stuff that's easy and compact i don't like big chunky cases
00:44:28
raycon's case is small sleek smooth it's super cool and the sound is honestly incredible
00:44:34
also the you know the other brands when you you have ear it just doesn't look good in your ear people can notice them sometimes they're chunky and they're
00:44:40
chunky yeah yeah raycons look smooth on your ears baby right they're not like these things they're like nice and smooth
00:44:45
right in your little ear hole and they also have different color ways now they have a bunch of different colors and they have adjustable uh the little
00:44:51
nodules that go in your different ear hole size because you know i got small ear holes you everybody knows have huge ear holes
00:44:57
they look great and they sound incredible um we've talked about them before on this show they're great we love them you should
00:45:03
pick up a pair and they're significantly more affordable than some of their competitors raycon is
00:45:09
offering 50 off all their products from my listeners and here's what you got to do to get it go to byracon.com
00:45:15
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00:45:22
bad friends buy raycon dot com slash bad friends okay so in front of you you guys have a
00:45:29
couple cards okay and they are uh describing an animal and you guys have to without any
00:45:37
miming only by doing sounds you have to make that animal happen you know and the other people have to guess which animal is what it is i can't wait you can't mime
00:45:49
that's impossible this game is this skate let me just say about this game this is the kind of game that you play where you're taking intermediate or beginning improv classes even before
00:46:02
that it's already acting like a parking lot exercise yeah yeah yeah yeah this is terrible all right let's hear it let's
00:46:07
hear rudy that's the funniest part by the way is that you and i are like this is so stupid we're gonna play
00:46:15
um all right time starts now go i don't even know if they make sounds um yeah my second one is impossible what is it
00:46:30
[Laughter] i know i already know what is it i know it's an elephant no no all right don't yell at me can i give a hint no no
00:46:53
you have to use hands hands is the only how about this we try voice first if it doesn't do it then the second hand okay sounds good
00:47:00
all right all right my my first one's easy all right donkey yeah and my second one is uh oh this one really doesn't make noise you know my second one doesn't make a
00:47:13
new one uh the second one is like uh someone's like whoa a bear i know no but i know what i know what it is like it's this giraffe no no no no
00:47:28
they're really big don't you can't describe them right yeah rhino rhino buffalo buffalo buffalo listen the sound he makes sounds like what he's what he is
00:47:40
okay [Music] no obviously not a cow whoa ready yeah yeah listen listen to the sound you made [Music]
00:48:01
me move bear panda you're a [ __ ] moose yeah yeah all right my turn all right you go oh
00:48:30
did you see it go [Music] [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] do you not know okay now i not if i do the hands right the body will give it away koala
00:48:52
yeah yes do the sound again what does the kalwala sound like i have no idea what do they sound like andre yeah that game is so dumb if we would
00:49:04
have opened with that game it would have ruined the podcast honestly i really loved the game though it was pretty good
00:49:16
that's what my house sounds like right now that's how many animals are in my [ __ ] house that what was that that was a koala
00:49:24
oh my god oh that's a koala that's crazy is that their mating sound stop that oh well i was kind of right
00:49:42
you did you got the squeaky yeah i didn't know they snort like that though yeah look at this video i want to show you i i saw this again and this is you want to really put a smile on your face yeah okay because i know we prayed
00:49:54
at the beginning of the episode yeah we're all very spiritual in our own way and uh i want to tell you something for the
00:50:00
non-believers out there if you find spirituality in your life it can fix you watch i'm not gay no more
00:50:08
i am delivered so this is an old clip people on the internet know this but it popped up on my feed somehow again yeah i don't know why
00:50:28
it brought so much joy in my heart i've never seen that before at all really it's the saddest video i've ever
00:50:33
seen in my life wait a minute george can you there's a part where he starts dancing do you have the rest of it or no is that it
00:50:45
oh my god oh my god oh how great oh my god right that's good oh my god he was shaking out the gay ghosts i know shaken up so when do you think the next
00:50:59
time he [ __ ] sucked the dick is after that right right after right after anything right after that so by the way
00:51:06
this guy this is an old clip people on the internet know it just resurfaced but this guy went back into the interview
00:51:11
with his boyfriend like the guy that would just said that i'm not gay no more like a year later was like look okay
00:51:17
obviously i'm gay this is insane it's so crazy here in november of 2014 in the um in the think louis it was our holy convocation that we have every year i was new
00:51:29
to the church time out okay so push box for a second you could let me tell you something yeah i don't care how much god you've got yeah you're
00:51:35
not flipping this guy this guy is gay god made this by the way god made this human he is impossible he made him beautiful and unique you're not flipping this this guy is not
00:51:48
gonna [ __ ] that's my biggest problem is the idea you were saying it the idea that you're gonna like shake the gay out of somebody right
00:52:01
that's the weirdest [ __ ] who who was insane enough to even say that and people bought it
00:52:07
like you can just pray it out yeah and they this is this isn't like 200 years ago
00:52:14
this is like 10. this guy is yeah on the other spectrum of gay you mean like if there was a
00:52:20
pendulum of gay yeah he's you know this is the guy right that does the extra [ __ ]
00:52:26
yeah he's extra right like you come in my ass right right [Laughter] you can't the idea that someone could
00:52:43
change you is so funny to me that it's like you could just pray it away if you just say it's not there it's not there
00:52:49
yeah that's so that's so nuts yeah my neighbor i told you this right my neighbor went to pray away the gay camp
00:52:54
yeah you know what he said to me what he goes as a in the closet 15 year old boy
00:53:01
what do you think was more heavenly for me going to church with my parents and hiding it or going to a gay camp
00:53:08
with a bunch of repressed gay kids in the woods alone you sent a gay kid how excited that'd be
00:53:15
he was like it was he's like it was a candy store of penis he's like oh my god he's like all we did was blow each other that's all we did
00:53:21
the whole time oh my god you know how exciting that is he was like why did he was like i can't believe my
00:53:26
mom thought that was going to like get gay out how many counselors do they have there to like keep an eye on them because if there's only
00:53:32
one by the way all the counselors are also oh no really yeah they're also like you need they're like religious like you
00:53:37
need to get the you need to get i can come tuck you in if you need prayer with god wow yeah he was like it's he's like it was
00:53:43
basically my parents paid for me to go learn about sex for the first time and they thought the whole time it's like
00:53:49
you're going there to get fixed or whatever the [ __ ] they call it it's kooky [ __ ] i it's not because i don't know much
00:53:55
about religion are they more accepting of gays now or no yeah it depends on what religion now
00:54:00
because i know in l.a right they have what's that called mosaic or yeah yeah those types are like
00:54:05
that new new age churches new age christian churches they're still christian most christians and i know gay guys that
00:54:11
go there yeah i'm going to church right and you're like what kind of church are you going to do mosaic
00:54:17
yeah right and they just go well mosaic does something except me it does sound like a pretty
00:54:22
game right no the all the most i would say all christian sub religions are okay with i mean dude
00:54:29
the pope openly said search this uh george but the pope said something about this new
00:54:35
pope was okay with gay marriage and i think a lot of the old catholic church was angry at him
00:54:41
because they were like what he's like who the [ __ ] care i mean who could [ __ ] who could care less but pope francis
00:54:47
yeah his belief about same-sex marriage he doesn't care but for the longest time it was a you know
00:54:52
it was it was i i think it's the i think i think most people in america don't give a [ __ ] i think it's slowly um
00:55:00
i think their focus more now in religion yeah is the whole abortion thing where it's like i think they they can sit through like you know i mean because at some point with a gay guy at some point they're like can't stop these
00:55:15
gays i mean we can try to stop these babies yeah i mean dude honestly for some reason that popped up today um in my twitter feed was someone had
00:55:26
retweeted like the anniversary of when sinead o'connor ripped up the picture of the pope on snl do you remember that one that was such like a big it was the
00:55:32
end of her career here's a here's a kid where if you're from ireland these people couldn't be more catholic right right it was like so defamatory
00:55:45
she was trying to send a message not about the pope himself about the catholic church and covering up all the people the filthy [ __ ] that they do
00:55:50
yeah but i remember it ruined her for a while no it was the end yeah it was all of her
00:55:56
career yeah it was over yeah it was over that one moment was just like that's what's hard for me to watch that
00:56:02
yeah it was crazy i i'm a huge scenato connor fan yeah she was incredible she still is she i still listen to her
00:56:08
i don't know any new music it's good yeah it is yeah but it's like no one listens to it because of that two moments two moments on snl ruin
00:56:14
people's career that one news music wise yeah and ashley simpson do you remember that yeah she lip-synched over the [ __ ] that
00:56:20
was can we see that video that's maybe one of the funniest videos i've ever seen in my life because the track plays before she gets to sing
00:56:25
right so watch see [Music] see [Music] pause it she doesn't know what to do the track started playing before the band could start playing their music i would have been like this right as soon as right start singing let me be
00:56:47
the actual i can't sing my voice be the actual thing do it watch what i do rudy do it
00:56:52
wait wait wait wait what song just make it up just make up any song go hello [Laughter]
00:57:07
you have to do a quick do it again yeah you have to do a quick that looks so good yeah yeah and then people would be like yeah she got some of the voice yeah
00:57:24
maybe it's just the mic was fine the mic caught it that's all yeah yeah the mic was you could argue it you know that might caught it yeah it was really
00:57:30
loud yeah and then they lowered it whatever yeah this is a perfect time by the way for me
00:57:36
to do something real quick because they know what i'm gonna do what we got sent a song a love ballad
00:57:42
for rudy okay wait a guy is in love with her it's a lot okay okay this man sent a
00:57:49
love ballad for rudy for rudy jules i got it forwarded to me through our production team
00:57:55
and the title literally in the email was i don't know meaning like i don't know what he's saying i don't get it i listen to this no less than 20 times
00:58:08
i literally couldn't figure out what he was saying no offense to the dude it's a sweet song
00:58:13
i don't know what he's saying so i said to the guys okay we gotta like see if we can guess what this dude is
00:58:19
saying okay let's hear if we can let's see if we can make out what he's trying to say pretty good though
00:58:36
okay let's but but i know i want to know what he's saying it's pretty good though so they put
00:58:42
together some bad friends there do we think he said take my hanging gun tonight we die while we dance or tape my
00:58:48
hanukkah tonight we dine on all the ants let's hear it again [Music] stop it take it's not handgun it's not either one of them
00:59:10
i think it's one of them take my hand tonight take my hand tonight [Laughter] let me sing it let's start over
00:59:35
take my hand alone tonight no he just goes take my hand tonight take my hand there it is okay okay that we got that first take my hand
00:59:48
and then tonight we know he says tonight tonight okay so tonight go ahead stop what die we dance that's why that's what the first one says yeah yeah
01:00:01
die while we no die we dance perfect all right let's go to the second piece second piece
01:00:16
[Music] stuck okay okay very hard to make out i feel like it's the slender man that likes it i mean that's some creepy let me see the second card george what does it say
01:00:41
oh i'm sorry that's it right there they won't run they won't run the stairs i want to run the stairs or is it gays
01:00:47
don't own the dance they just run the staff that's what i want i want it to be b
01:00:52
will you sing it for me i can't sing god gays don't own the dance they just run the staff that's good yeah yeah yeah all right yeah yeah let's can
01:01:05
i read sing the whole song the way it's written now here we go right give me the lyrics uh honestly i
01:01:11
want to say something i'll go to band camp right because i love um lo-fi bedroom recording that's one of the things i follow that's what this is that's what it is i honestly like the song do you like the
01:01:22
song it's really cool yeah it's different yeah it's different i know i just want to know what he's saying yeah so we're trying to figure out what we
01:01:28
would like i like to do now is start from the beginning and have jules sing the whole thing because he wrote it for you yeah he did
01:01:33
okay what [ __ ] you you're doing it all right i don't know what you're trying to do
01:01:38
but this is your song okay are you ready start with a take my hanging gun tonight we'll dance [Music]
01:01:55
they won't run the stairs i wanna run the stairs [Music] [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter]
01:02:19
very good very good that guy wrote a song i wrote a song how do you feel about it
01:02:24
it's nice i like it let me see the next couple of cards what's the next one just the cards the next one was either moth dance dance
01:02:31
dance hung tonight's the night we dance duns down stunts tonight's the night we dance
01:02:36
and what's the light is that the last card i got you send me the song i really like
01:02:43
it send him the song we just got to figure out what he's saying it's crazy are you are you into this dude maybe
01:02:49
like could this be a potential date can i see his face do you have his face george um no but i
01:02:56
talked to him he's a real nice guy he's a nice guy you don't know what he looks like then no he sounds no but dude do you know
01:03:02
what he looks like i'll just off screen we're not gonna show it on the show but do you know what it looks like no we don't oh then no but we could set
01:03:09
it up yeah tell him to send a [ __ ] photo man tell him to send a photo yeah honestly it's a fun song it's a good song but when i heard it i was like i just don't know what he's saying yeah
01:03:23
tonight's the night here's where we put a lot of it together it's called beauty and the beast that's how he titled the song beauty and the beast
01:03:28
is that really yeah 100 then he's ugly no no he's saying she's the beauty she's the beast he's the beauty oh he's the beauty i think he's i think i think he's a male model oh wow
01:03:39
yeah you know i was i you know i ran into a guy in hawaii and he he was like this guy it was
01:03:46
socially distanced but he came up to me was like this large hawaiian man and he goes hey
01:03:52
bad friend's right i go yeah i go and we kind of losely distance talked and he goes like why do you like it and he goes it's
01:04:00
because you guys um say things that you know society is trying to take away you know i mean but i don't see it that
01:04:10
way i mean i mean i mean like the things that we say right i don't think is like going against
01:04:17
you know pc culture or no we're just having fun being us yeah it was just two guys talking right but it's not like we purposely you know i think he's saying that we
01:04:28
just are free with what we talk about what we do there's still certain things like you know we won't say
01:04:33
yeah like go ahead say it right now we'll beep it go i'll put a mascot right but but you say something okay this is gonna
01:04:39
be fun but here okay ready you go first because i don't trust you no you go first go ahead go ahead
01:04:54
[Laughter] uh-huh look at me yeah yeah [Music] [Laughter] look at me he goes look at this no no no no i want to hear you
01:05:22
it's fun it's fun [Music] okay i don't think we say anything bad on the show no no you know what he was saying though he just says that we come out here and we
01:05:36
have a good time and we have fun yeah it's so it that is freeing though that is so nice dude
01:05:41
it's freeing but you can't do it there should be a place that you could go and yell racial epithets and cuss words
01:05:46
and like in any form in like a comfortable setting like everyone gets together you know they have cat cafes
01:05:51
yeah yeah you know when you like buy a coffee and you get the pet random cats yeah like in japanese or like the purge we have one day one day
01:05:58
you can say all this whatever you want like the purge oh wow right yeah make it november 12th november
01:06:04
12th is we'll say whatever you want to say you know everyone is saying yeah and people walk up to me hey [ __ ] and obviously like hi yeah
01:06:11
it's allowed i think there should be a purge a purge racial epithet cuss word day or yeah or a cafe would be nice
01:06:18
that's what i'm saying a sign that says like you said you know i mean that whatever you can say whatever you want
01:06:23
in this cafe right no physical no physical harming them no no no and by the way it has to be all in good fun
01:06:29
it's in good fun right yeah yeah like a guy walks in you pay your money you have to buy a coffee you know they make you guys like coffee you have to
01:06:34
buy a coffee well it'd be weird to be standing there with your hands by your side being like you don't have to wear the mask it's you
01:06:40
know what i mean yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah we all the rules we have right right wear a mask yeah comment and you won't
01:06:46
you can say whatever you want say whatever you want but it's a time limit you only get 15 minutes yeah you got to get it all out in 15 minutes
01:06:52
should we open up a place like that call it safe space save space we'll call it safe space yeah
01:06:57
that's the polar opposite of what safe spaces are right now you know on college campuses they have safe spaces where they people feel offended do you know about this yeah
01:07:04
no i'm trying to think to myself like if that would work i don't think it would why because anybody would come really
01:07:10
yeah and i don't think i i think people would come in and like walk in they'll probably walk in like this like
01:07:15
but me and you and then like and it's like and they'll see it like a mexican person
01:07:20
and they'll go hey and they won't do it let's be honest yeah this this would be only white people that would come and do this
01:07:26
that's true yeah yeah a bunch of racist white people i know and then we'd film all of it and then we'd sell it on youtube or we'd
01:07:32
sell it to somebody we'd sell it on netflix we'll call it blackmail it'll be hosted
01:07:38
by kevin hart yeah hey welcome back to blackmail i'm kevin hart yeah yeah check this out
01:07:44
we got this guy saying the n word 38 times we're about to go to his job and he show up at his job [Laughter]
01:07:51
i want to say something very genuine real quick if we can let's do it because we got him you got emotional in the last episode i
01:07:56
did what did i say exactly well you had the existential crisis of why are we even doing anything you know and people were very supportive and the
01:08:03
fans were great i read some stuff it's fine yeah yeah yeah what i want people to know is
01:08:09
this is always so much fun for us and i love it and even when we butt heads or we get into little quarrels i think people have to know that
01:08:20
it's because we love each other yeah today was funny because i woke up and i couldn't wait to get here me too and i
01:08:26
need to be in that space yeah when i have to drag myself out here it's hard well it's hard
01:08:31
we have tough days i think we just we spill it out all the time so sometimes if we're not having a good day
01:08:37
it plops out does it feel be honest with me yeah does it feel different that we have
01:08:43
a different president or does it feel the same um honestly i mean it feels do you know why it doesn't feel different at all because um a it never does when somebody comes
01:08:55
in it takes a long time and b the pandy if if the pandy didn't happen it probably would feel different it it it doesn't matter not well what do you
01:09:06
mean none of it matters i mean i think maybe like in the long haul maybe certain you know legislative you know i mean yeah things
01:09:13
that he does you know we might you know you might be able to feel the impact a little bit right but in terms
01:09:18
of like just day-to-day yeah feelings right what's going on it's the same yeah i know all that other stuff is just noise yeah and chatter right and it's like people's
01:09:29
opinions and we get caught up in it it's [ __ ] at the end of the day we're okay with anybody really yeah i mean look at
01:09:37
the end of the day it's what what really does this riot and overthrow the government i think it is
01:09:43
funny that trump pardoned little wayne that may be like the funniest thing i've ever heard in my entire life not only was that funny that he didn't pardon
01:09:49
any of the writers you think to yourself right because he could have yeah could he have yeah 100 could have legally he could have and they're sitting there like we did
01:10:01
that for you and then just to think that he didn't part of them yeah is like the big how do they not
01:10:07
know now so funny it's like a betrayal like he doesn't give a [ __ ] about it i think he
01:10:12
i think on the way out of the helicopter i think he said am i wrong did he say have a good life yep
01:10:20
have a good have a good life can i tell you something that's the funniest exit i've ever heard of the best exit have a good life
01:10:27
no does it feel different honestly no it doesn't feel different did you think it was going to
01:10:33
did you really like thinking no it does make you think though like why was i so i mean obviously you know
01:10:39
putting kids in cages and all that [ __ ] is [ __ ] crazy and it's like maddening you put you put rudy
01:10:45
in a cage yeah yeah but um you know and it is it is as a symbol you know it is great that
01:10:52
he's gone you know i hated him let's be honest yeah you did you know but in terms of just what i
01:10:59
can't speak on it he was a family member of ours yeah it's uncle donnie yeah it's uncle d but did
01:11:04
what implications did it have in my daily personal life not a lot not a lot right you know
01:11:10
that's what i'm saying but you know as a symbol and in terms of he's just a [ __ ]
01:11:16
he represents something that i abhor right and i want to say that out loud i have
01:11:22
horses and things yeah yeah what is so important i uh poor white people who think that um they're entitled you know to this country and that that
01:11:35
that you know that they are tied to this country as much more than i am someone that looks like me
01:11:41
you know and it's like no this country belongs to me as well belongs to everybody and it i honestly
01:11:46
do i don't know anything about korea i [ __ ] honestly i'm that's all i am is an american yeah you're an
01:11:53
american i breathe it you know there we are we are americans and except i know and there's there's several of us we can
01:12:04
make a phone call i do think that's weird that we do work with two foreigners whatever you want to call
01:12:10
them yeah yeah aliens is that what they whatever mud something you know i don't know what the second
01:12:16
term is but mud something yeah thanks thank you for being a bad friend oh no hold on one second one second one
01:12:21
second um i want rudy to take us out and i wa will you play that song and i want her all right so she doesn't [ __ ] care she doesn't give a [ __ ] about you baby
01:12:34
wait i should sing she cares about me not really go ahead do you not care about me i care
01:12:39
no she doesn't i care she texted me on accident you really text him on accident on accident that's not that's that's caring no no this is very funny she sends me a text
01:12:52
this made me laugh so hard rudy look at this look at this look at this look at this ready hi annette we're in the meeting already
01:13:05
and at first i was like i should [ __ ] with her but maybe that maybe that's important and i wrote
01:13:10
i wrote this is me rudy and she goes oh sorry tito andrew and i said all good how's hawaii and she said we didn't go with tito bobby and i said oh why and she goes he's a
01:13:24
dick [Laughter] he's a dick why didn't you go he's a dick did you see that no let me see you see it right there he's a dick why'd you call me a dick i
01:13:36
didn't say that i have it right there anyway so play the song and then she'll go out
01:13:46
i don't know the lyrics oh thank you for listening to bad friends thank you for being a bad friend
01:13:59
[Music] are you a man we definitely can't start that way what are you a man what do you mean put your
01:14:14
box for men what does it say for men isn't put your books a box for men or no no it's just
01:14:20
me oh it is oh that was not oh there's matt's man crate it's man man crate man crate is with me no that's
01:14:26
manscaped no man crate man crate are the ones that you opened yeah yeah for men that's what that was no no this is me i
01:14:32
didn't know on my bed [Music]