00:00:00
you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude i'm an asian dude
00:00:06
you two are disgusting well you two or something we're bad friends
00:00:12
imagine if fleetwood mac was performing and then they all had led zeppelin shirts off yeah cool tiger belly shirt here here let me
00:00:19
do it
00:00:25
it's still on the shirt get it off flick it off don't get angry flick it off you deserve it you don't
00:00:31
get angry flick it off look at that i don't want to touch it come here i'll get it off come here yeah
00:00:37
i'll do it it is a salt that's assault okay yeah hi rudy hi welcome back from hawaii
00:00:45
please don't wear your headphones please don't participate on the show she's got socks on no shoes once no
00:00:51
she's got her slides on i love it what because i watch court like court uh cases on
00:00:57
youtube no just like a snippet like cork cam dude and i love it when the when they spit in the judge's face oh yeah they go
00:01:05
and the judge always says reaction they always have that reaction like they can't believe what it is
00:01:11
take him away lock him up six months seven years that's a bold thing to spit in the
00:01:17
judge's face would you deal with that black dude can't be black why the judge you guys don't want to spend we get like
00:01:22
100 years for just spitting gum at a judge you're right it's usually a white dude
00:01:28
yeah it's always here you go what is this let's see this guy's spitting on the judge man yeah yeah corey any they do
00:01:34
good ones yeah that's it this dude i like this that's where
00:01:41
[Laughter] his name was hunter fischer hey ma'am
00:01:46
i'm hunter fischer where it is yeah she couldn't believe it she blinks
00:01:54
hell yeah the moment of uh charge him charge him
00:02:01
didn't hit her by the way how dramatic didn't hit her in the face hit her on the far right shoulder she got a little resist show it again
00:02:07
and missed her by a mile bass webb on bass team here oh you are i'm team bass webb let's see the spit boom right
00:02:14
shoulder wait wait look i just say i'm on the judge's team i'll tell you why right you have one opportunity to spit
00:02:19
in the judge's face you don't get the face yeah you hit the shoulder it's so embarrassing you know if it was asian it would be right between the eyes
00:02:27
yeah like it's a [ __ ] blow gun yeah what would a black guy do
00:02:37
[Music] yeah by the way god bless this old gong it's been a long time since we've hit
00:02:43
the gong god bless this gong yeah best web shout out best web wherever you are locked up
00:02:48
incarcerated life in prison is he in do you think he's here no he is because he oh because all the charges i watch the code cam all the time
00:02:54
why are you watching so much court cam are you feeling like you might be charged for something no i don't feel like i'm in charge but i just
00:03:01
it makes me feel better when i know i'm not incarcerated you wouldn't last a [ __ ] an hour in
00:03:06
prison oh i would no way one hour you'd last one hour you'd be peeled to shreds they'd peel your little
00:03:13
tushy apart oh yeah see 30 minutes in 30 minutes rudy
00:03:18
how long would tito bobby last in prison i think he would get [ __ ]
00:03:23
like five times right away yeah right like welcome to jail
00:03:30
but voluntarily [Laughter]
00:03:43
right above the [ __ ] open for business twenty four twenty four seven twenty four seven they bring my meals i'm bent over the
00:03:49
whole time they just bring my meals in front of me i eat like this i [ __ ] like this but they just butt [ __ ] me between [ __ ] shits
00:03:56
but guess what dude you can hear the hum my face no bruise on it at all nobody's punching
00:04:01
you no one's punching me dude my ribs aren't broken right like i read i can read what if he's in
00:04:07
the s m and he'd just be like what i mean you know what i mean because he just like beaten and choking you was that a
00:04:14
way to get some covert cough out how many times have you had covet now
00:04:19
did you test negative before you came back into the studio i didn't even test dog
00:04:27
what are we doing so this is what happened no no
00:04:33
bro so just so calm down you'll get you'll stick your case why won't but but
00:04:39
my question is this all right god so if you're still infected and you you just
00:04:45
stroll on into this place and not tell anybody why
00:04:51
right now doc no i don't have it no more but you had it when i got it last week the week be like back in uh
00:04:59
back about last saturday see you the internal wait test they said after five days you're good
00:05:05
yeah wait a minute set you got it set so saturday that just happened three days two days ago no not this saturday yeah
00:05:12
the saturday before i guess that ten days is good ten days is good is it good i don't know
00:05:17
at this point i mean i guess we got it yes we got it again
00:05:26
oh really yeah just like your head dude we hear it oh yeah yeah yeah you don't sound healthy at all no
00:05:32
you can't how many times have you had it now four three or four
00:05:38
are you trying to beat the record no i mean everybody when you work in a grocery store everybody gets it let's like that's good to know where our food
00:05:45
is everyone handling your food they got it you don't wear the mask at the grocery store
00:05:51
yeah so how'd you get it you still get it though how how did you think you got it then i got it she's so scared i know i
00:05:59
know i think i got it from uh you know what i think i was eating
00:06:05
at the at whole foods but i forgot to wash my hands and i said to myself i'm gonna get sick and i got sick time out
00:06:12
stop what do you mean you were eating and you didn't watch you were eating with your hands were you eating like a [ __ ] ethiopian meal so i took a break
00:06:19
a 15-minute break yeah and normally i go and wash my hands and then go give me something to eat but i forgot so i went
00:06:25
grabbed the boxes and touched all the stuff and throwing an order that doesn't check out yeah something's missing nothing's missing what's missing as
00:06:31
simple as that [ __ ] just [ __ ] up are you back to prostitutes again
00:06:37
that's how you got it you [ __ ] liar it's not from eating a 15-minute lunch break let me ask you this though um
00:06:42
could you have gotten it outside of work could have yeah yeah you don't wear a at you're not vaxxed
00:06:48
yeah you're not boost nothing but don't forget now everybody primarily that works for amazon is vax
00:06:54
but i'm just one of the few that's not because amazon actually paid for people so people do they know that you didn't get it yeah
00:07:00
i don't know because they they they got a little thing i can show you later but it's like you gotta you can give them an
00:07:05
update and they'll put label put it put it on your badge that this person is vaccinated right so most people are
00:07:12
vaccinated so all the people that's been getting sickness people that's vaccinated and me yeah yeah but you more
00:07:20
i don't know you've gotten it four times yeah probably no literally like i feel
00:07:26
good no i don't feel that bad it feels like i'm so used to being sick though like that's a running joke with me and heart
00:07:32
from the comedy store yeah the birthday and he's like god damn you always get sick because even when i called him one of the first guy covered he's like you
00:07:37
sure because you always [ __ ] sick i said yeah that's true but i've got covered and he's like all right well i
00:07:43
don't know if i should believe you so it's like one of them things right i don't know anyone that's gotten sick more than twice
00:07:49
i've only had once how many times have you had it once but you're the only guy i know that's gotten it more than 20 times no no i got it in 2020 i got it in
00:07:56
2021 oh you're trying to do every year that's good that's good
00:08:02
2024 you're gonna get it too 20. hey man when trump got elected i'm getting it again and again and again
00:08:07
well here's the thing for 2021 i didn't have a cold or a coffee the whole year all the way to january i thought it was
00:08:12
investment yeah i thought it was invincible i'm like oh yeah i'm [ __ ] hungry you had it twice and you thought you're invincible no i had it once so i
00:08:18
got it once in 2020 right yeah then all through last year i didn't get anything
00:08:24
and then i got sick this february so actually i got it three times so then i just got it this time y'all made that up
00:08:29
to the [ __ ] extra yeah y'all ain't [ __ ] man doc what i think he had it four times
00:08:35
you've had it twice on this show exactly so this is my third time before
00:08:41
he started the math ain't adding up he just ain't getting it is he all right raise your hand if you vote has he had it four times raise your hand
00:08:47
oh that's the controller i think the eyes haven't yeah i i recall you've had it four times but i feel like for sure
00:08:53
for sure you've had for them the one times andres is like ducky sick with calvin i mean i feel like i hear that that's yeah echoes in my mind six times
00:09:00
you said that no y'all only heard it twice all right rudy jules tell us about hawaii go ahead
00:09:05
and give us what happened in hawaii um i drank some beer but i didn't go to a
00:09:12
strip club okay well what you what night did you drink beer saturday with who at the kalila tikka
00:09:19
window and then i caught four fishes four fish
00:09:24
but i didn't get to eat them because i was tired of cooking and i just thought
00:09:30
man you're a party animal what an animal you're a party animal bud
00:09:35
did you meet up with any boys out there there was this one guy but then
00:09:40
your dick no because he was he was sending too much dick pics
00:09:46
oh my god can we see them why why no because on instagram you can
00:09:52
like have an option to like just put it five seconds and then it's gone tell them to send one right now
00:09:58
no why we could show it on the show how funny would that be if we put up
00:10:04
dave a show but wait a minute how many dick did you ask for dick pics no he he just sends
00:10:10
them every morning okay timeout [Laughter] here's a rule here's a rule of thumb to
00:10:17
every man listening every man out there do not ever
00:10:22
send a [ __ ] dick pic unless it is requested or talked no girl wants to see
00:10:27
your [ __ ] dick unless they've asked to see your dick it's the weirdest thing to be like morning
00:10:33
no one's ever asked to see my dick i ever that's not you i've asked to see
00:10:39
your dick i know i'm a woman i said oh no i'm sorry no one's ever
00:10:45
asked me to send a [ __ ] dick pic well yeah because they know they already know what it looks like
00:10:50
why because you look like your dick your dick looks like you oh have you ever been asked for your dick pic
00:10:57
yeah but only only by women i'm like only by girls i've ever dated not by like even the girls have dated never
00:11:03
asked send me your dick i know because you don't have a cool dick bud have you ever asked a request if you're
00:11:09
dead i don't i don't know he doesn't have a camera phone that's right you play snake on your
00:11:15
phone big pic anyway it's like [ __ ] no you know what though but honestly
00:11:21
this idea that a guy's going to send a rogue dick pic is crazy to me have you ever said a rogue dick pic no do you
00:11:27
respond do you say no at first i was like i don't need it
00:11:32
i don't need it that's a funny response but then he kept sending it every morning and so i just don't talk to him
00:11:38
anymore this guy sucks he sucks is it nice yeah oh well that's why you gotta keep
00:11:44
sending it i guess yeah but that's what your kids do all the young kids they just send dick pics like [ __ ] viruses
00:11:50
bro they just put they're put they're throwing it out any dicks out there so people are getting them three four times like i'm gonna tell you this [ __ ] is for
00:11:57
real and is it is it hard every time yeah see i send limp dick pics when i put it out to
00:12:02
the world i want it soft i say work on this that's what i send in the dick pic work on it i want it real soft sometimes
00:12:08
i'll pull it hard tuck it in my [ __ ] so the balls are poking out to the side googly eyes
00:12:17
man i got doc good now that feels good but imagine imagine
00:12:22
honestly think about this yeah if doc sent you a dick pic how
00:12:28
hard would you laugh i quit the show yeah i would go in with the show
00:12:33
i was getting horrible i'd be laughing so hard yeah what's up tuno
00:12:41
yeah was he white no what is he he's filipino she doesn't like white you know that
00:12:48
well uh oh no i don't like whites oh yeah well i don't like like let's be honest here i
00:12:54
don't like whites but have you point white maybe yeah more more than any other race
00:13:01
no let's get one clean take of you looking in that camera and saying i don't like whites go ahead
00:13:06
i don't like whites great great we just need to log some of this stuff in for the future
00:13:12
fire you already hooked up with the white three yeah because three whites
00:13:17
two two three two two all right but it's three but we'll go to
00:13:24
it yeah okay so other than that hawaii was okay other
00:13:29
than the uh unsolicited dick pics yeah that was fine i'm going to hawaii in two weeks i'm so excited and i hope
00:13:36
i get some dick pics to all my little hawaiian boys out there i hope i get a good old fat dick pic from the big
00:13:41
island what about butthole picks do people get that if you have a good butthole do you have a nice butthole i
00:13:47
think my butthole is pristine would you send it out yeah you would but i i don't think
00:13:52
that's a thing so i i don't be the first dude to do it you and i should do an only fans where it's just only our butthole butthole muddlepicks i would be
00:13:59
down to do that right cause i'd even stick like fun things in it just for fun not big things but little fun things
00:14:04
like what uh matchbox matchbox cars the car baby carrots like coming up like a i know
00:14:10
what a matchbox car the batmobile and sticking out of my butthole like it's the bat cave
00:14:17
yeah yeah that's cool [Music]
00:14:22
what do you think is that james bond
00:14:28
that makes
00:14:34
yeah yeah what's what's the batman music do you know what with the original batman i'm gonna
00:14:40
try to figure it out just don't don't don't don't
00:14:45
matt what you're so close yeah it's so close yeah it's so weird how far
00:14:52
you are but it's okay that was the energy
00:15:16
[Laughter]
00:15:22
spiderman
00:15:36
here comes the spider-man can you do any of the star wars
00:15:41
theme songs [Music]
00:15:55
what a great song the imperial march incredible do you not know what that is i know that song from star wars
00:16:03
you've never seen any of them i saw one which one the one that you made me i forgot what
00:16:10
part four part four what was what happened to that
00:16:16
um princess leila yeah leela yeah that's good i
00:16:23
can't believe you got that laila i think she died princess leila she dies when saleh dies
00:16:29
i think how you think how and then like the planet exploded no she saw the planet exploded i think that's her home
00:16:37
i think yeah we got to pick this episode up a little bit it's really falling down the hill
00:16:44
doc do you have any uh crazy conspiracy theories about space that we haven't talked about
00:16:57
this is what i call uh whose [ __ ] ufos are they because you said you didn't believe that extraterrestrials
00:17:03
coming here timeout first of all don't [ __ ] gaslight me about extraterrestrials
00:17:08
i believe in them i believe they've come here i don't believe they've stuck around
00:17:14
no you don't i don't believe they're still here but i do believe i get all my news source from tucker carlson
00:17:21
all right so that's where we're on the same page that feels good dude i can i can even do you like him
00:17:26
no i just like the fact that he's trying to cover this oh he's trying it yeah you know he likes this yeah let's hear what
00:17:31
they got to say let's see what tucker carlson the truth teller has to say
00:17:37
what's up with jews right away rogan came up with a theory as to why
00:17:42
they've been lying and it's worth hearing tom rogan joins us tonight tom thanks so much for coming up one of the
00:17:48
things you hear is well maybe these objects are russian or chinese but your piece points out russia and china have
00:17:56
literally lost aircraft chasing these things so they're not russian or chinese so we have a declassified british
00:18:01
government document which is a research document into ufos that points out a couple of things actually that are about
00:18:08
four soviet are you going to discredit this british guy i don't believe british people these are the [ __ ] what the
00:18:14
[ __ ] these guys are ultimate liars we didn't do anything wrong they invented it they invented lying and
00:18:20
slavery by the way so they're the originals okay so let me say i know what you're thinking though what doc do you have the
00:18:27
doc do you have that right dude pull it up on the goddamn screen right here
00:18:32
i'm talking about it yeah that's not it yeah he's got page nine yeah you know go ahead and
00:18:38
read it for the paper is this it right where are we going that's the declassified doc from the british so that's national archives of the uk what
00:18:44
does the x's mean yeah that means the stuff they couldn't have redacted yeah yeah so that was declassified in 2000
00:18:51
so any of this other [ __ ] y'all hearing about the navy talk about 2004 this [ __ ] been popping off so go all the way down
00:18:57
okay now the page number nine okay those are street lights [Laughter]
00:19:04
you know what those extras right there at the top oh hold on doctors real quick look at me right those x's you know what that says what
00:19:11
this whole document is [ __ ] i'm my name is leroy i'm eight i'm
00:19:16
writing this yeah yeah you don't know what the [ __ ] the x's mean hey man it's in the national archives of the uk all
00:19:21
right let me see i did my can i say this oh my god the word ufo
00:19:27
what does it stand for unidentified flying object that's right it can be anything you understand that right it can be of this of this earth it
00:19:34
could be unidentified flying object means it could
00:19:41
right now we have the information even china saying they're using artificial intelligence in this article here
00:19:47
right now today and they said that the ufos are increasing in their air space so how come they're not coming over here
00:19:53
as much they are last night you know was the blood moon do you know this yeah i saw it and it was beautiful the lunar
00:19:58
eclipse this is the most clear they said it's ever been in a decade right this blood moon did you look at the blood
00:20:04
moon of course you did you lazy [ __ ] and it was honestly it did give me glimpses of
00:20:11
oh this is we are you forget we are on space rock it is creepy to see other space rocks
00:20:17
move around you're so used to seeing the moon you're like that is kind of [ __ ] crazy to know that that's still
00:20:23
happening that lunar eclipse is stuff stuff it is it gives me a little uh i don't know and i
00:20:28
will say doc you know about the caves on mars do you know yeah google caves on mars do you
00:20:35
rece this re this just resurfaced there's a bunch of these holes on mars now that have just resurfaced look at
00:20:40
this tell me this doesn't look like a [ __ ] well there's a picture down that looks like a door it looks like a doorway okay where do doorway on mars
00:20:49
no honestly dude look at that look at that [ __ ] photo right there the first biggest one you've seen which one i can't even [ __ ] bobby yeah yeah
00:20:57
is that not a [ __ ] door that's definitely been carved have you seen the documentary moon fall moon fall yeah yeah that's the set of
00:21:04
moon fall this is on the set of moon fall better health hey life can be
00:21:10
overwhelming bob i know many of us are burned out without even knowing it symptoms here we go lack of motivation
00:21:15
feeling helpless or trapped in detachment fatigue and more yeah all right guess what andrew what bud you
00:21:20
just named all these things but i'm using better help and i'm working through these processing because we both have a lot of different things that that
00:21:27
that uh hinder us and i got to tell you better help has helped both of us therapy is great what is better better bet i'll
00:21:33
tell you what better help is it's customized online therapy that offers video phone and even live chat sessions
00:21:38
with your therapist so you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to that's right you can do uh you can
00:21:44
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00:21:49
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00:21:55
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00:22:01
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00:22:07
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00:22:13
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00:22:23
bad friends bring up the doc doc when was the last time a human went to
00:22:30
mars never never so well
00:22:35
i am ashamed i'm a shed see who's high machete oh [ __ ] that's kind of the space chief 30
00:22:41
ex ex-space chief of israel who ran
00:22:47
this space program i'll be forgetting man or buzz a little bit uh
00:22:52
and covet i get it yeah yeah but anyway he's the ex-general and the ex-base chief of israel for 30 years
00:22:58
and he said that he went up there the united states and israel was in contact with the galactic federation bam
00:23:05
whoa what else you got to say that's it i'm a believer him told you
00:23:10
i guess once you said my love was involved
00:23:16
i'm [ __ ] salted there it is right there bobby former israeli space security chief says extraterrestrials
00:23:22
exist and trump knows about it all right so let me ask you something i'm thinking that's what the pregnancy so when you're alone at night okay at your spot
00:23:29
you're alone no no i'm asking all right you're alone at night you're a bottle and a half a wine deep
00:23:35
right i never get about another half but go ahead okay a bottle deep you've polished a bottle
00:23:41
i've done it you're buzzing it's two in the morning what are you googling
00:23:47
uh you need a girlfriend it flops between pornhub you need a girlfriend a lot of physics
00:23:53
videos physics see this you need a girlfriend we gotta get you some lights hey man and someone well and a lot of
00:23:59
people dudes your age alone in a [ __ ] studio and i watch a lot at two in the morning you're getting buzzed there's
00:24:05
nothing else to do mm-hmm buy a playstation we got to buy you something yeah
00:24:10
well okay i watch a lot of murdered uh yeah murder dogs pornhub
00:24:15
and [ __ ] that's the chemical makeup for the
00:24:22
school shooter you're losing your mind
00:24:27
pornhub physics videos a bottle of wine i'm afraid you're gonna shoot up a festival
00:24:32
oh my god the guy last night i have to the dude last night i went to the liquor store near me
00:24:38
to just get a bag of chips i wanted some potato chips and i was on my walk home
00:24:43
very nice guy but he was listening to a podcast throughout the he does all the time in the in the liquor store in our
00:24:49
little like corner store sweet guy it's on blast um start to listen to it as i'm standing there in
00:24:54
line i'm like who is it who's the podcast yeah no no i've never heard of it but it's a murder it's a murder one there's a thousand of them
00:25:00
yeah but a guy is basically telling a story about how him and his wife said sexually they need to be as open as they can possibly be so that um they're never
00:25:07
you know disappointed in their relationship he said if you want something uncomfortable you know that you know makes me uncomfortable just
00:25:12
tell me if you want to [ __ ] someone just tell you what i mean like just be he was like before they got married they said let's just say everything so they agreed
00:25:18
to this right and then obviously as the as the podcast says she agreed to it they were fine and then
00:25:24
at some point he found out that she was [ __ ] like a guy down the street and it was like a full-on affair it wasn't
00:25:30
like she wasn't cheating on him it was like living with this other guy so then hold on listen so then this is crazy so then
00:25:38
so then he goes he says she blew up my whole life she ruined the small business that we took and even though
00:25:44
she was the one who cheated on me in the family court infidelity isn't a part of uh marriage
00:25:51
law so it's like it doesn't come into a play right even even though he was like she's the one that wanted the divorce because she left
00:25:57
me for somebody else he still had to owe her alimony because he had made more money than her so he's like you know what that feels like to
00:26:02
give someone money even though they're the ones that want to divorce because they were the ones that left you for somebody else and he was you know breaking it down and as i get to the
00:26:09
register i go that story's kind of [ __ ] up and dude did i fuel this guy's fire he goes right it's a clear
00:26:15
violation of the 14 [ __ ] amendment dude i mean he was like he wanted to unload
00:26:20
he goes and you know what dude and they [ __ ] wonder and they [ __ ] wonder why guys kill their [ __ ] wives huh
00:26:26
and they wonder why they kill him you know why this guy lost everything he's better off just killing her because his life is over her life should be over two
00:26:33
four 499 and i was like okay paid for my chips and i was like
00:26:39
have a good night yeah i mean dude i didn't know what to say i literally but also i was like uh-huh
00:26:45
uh-huh afraid that he was gonna be like why do you disagree bobby sorry i didn't see your hand up
00:26:52
how long were you in this liquor store for 35 minutes information you just [ __ ] said you're going down every
00:26:58
aisle looking at the chili here's what happened yeah yeah there were teenagers in there [ __ ] around and they were buying stuff
00:27:04
i went to the beer aisle to go get a single team to get a get a lucy to a onesie beer that i was gonna crack and walk home with then i decided i
00:27:11
shouldn't be drinking beer right not i need the extra calories i'm a little pudgy budgie so i put it back then i went to the chips they didn't have what
00:27:16
i wanted i wanted the sour cream and cheddar then i went back to the beer thing i was milling about i was killing a little bit of time for about 40
00:27:23
minutes no this is genuinely five minutes five minutes okay the guy's story was quick i just told it to you
00:27:28
right now in three [ __ ] minutes that's literally what he said okay but as i got up there this liquor store guy
00:27:33
was he wanted someone to disagree he wanted me to be like i don't know he was begging for someone but not
00:27:40
me i was like you're right dude kill your wife whatever you have to do i don't give a don't [ __ ] tell me that you're gonna do it just do it can i
00:27:46
tell you what happened to me yeah did you kill your wife no i was at wii spa
00:27:52
you know what we spent the korean spa yeah with gene and hong jin hong and we're walking
00:27:58
we're you know i don't know how you know how everyone knew we spa yes i have yeah so everyone's wearing the same thing it's like you're such a
00:28:05
weird utility in society well they give it to you they give you the clothes but you wear it right so everyone has this weird spa shirt the same khaki pants
00:28:12
yeah and the slippers and you're just kind of walking around right and
00:28:19
right and everyone's like laying around or some sort of clay clay you know clay room or yeah you know i mean people are
00:28:26
drinking and eating food it's like so weird right it's very weird and this guy comes up to me goes
00:28:31
you got to help me man here this is my email this is all my information dude i know who you are man you're bobby lee and um dude i'm in
00:28:37
trouble and i go what what do you mean music man i'm getting sued for because of my music and
00:28:43
there were copyrights and they're [ __ ] [ __ ] me man so i know you're into a business you probably have a [ __ ] lawyer and this and that i need to [ __ ] help and he gives me a piece
00:28:49
of paper like this right and i put it i put it like this all right man i'll do it
00:28:55
are we gonna help this guy no but what happened was what happened the [ __ ] informations it was in my
00:29:02
wii spa short oh right and i threw it in the [ __ ] hamper yes or someone else has to deal with it
00:29:09
but it's like it was like frantic like he was about to [ __ ] die you could have saved his life i know but what am i going to do i
00:29:16
don't know about laws wait till he hears this
00:29:21
it's so crazy what people say he said he got sued i don't even know and gene was just kind
00:29:26
of like his eyes were fluttering because it was scary it was like the energy was like the energy i'm doing right now
00:29:31
heavy it was the energy that he had too erratic yeah it was just like hey hey guy hey hey anyway i know who
00:29:38
you are man you're bobby lee right this is my [ __ ] paper i am in big trouble man all right and i knew you had you
00:29:44
know lawyers right yeah and and all the the information had all this email social media other court doc i don't
00:29:51
know what the [ __ ] it was right but it's like i'm in my i'm relaxing yeah why was he at the spa
00:29:57
well he wants to relax you could tell he needed to yeah yeah he seems like he was he's like i have all these problems do
00:30:03
you not want to go to a spas you don't like spas no why not it's just too intimate
00:30:09
what says the girl getting dick pics every day tonight you know what we're going to do tonight
00:30:15
spa yeah no go to the spot you and i are going to go to the wii spa together
00:30:20
do what i mean you take a steam you do a schvitz so what we're gonna do is get a massage okay this is what we're gonna do
00:30:26
we go right i pay for you right you go to the women's area i go to the men's you put
00:30:33
the outfit on just hear me out dude [ __ ] hear me out and find that piece of paper that
00:30:38
this guy gave him let's try to find the paper okay and then you wear the clothes i'll meet you in the third floor that's where the
00:30:44
clay the salt this the cold room is all that stuff and we'll have a dinner and we'll lounge
00:30:50
around we'll drink drinks we'll steam together do all that stuff won't that be nice i'd better just sleep
00:30:56
see it's like i invite her to the thing i know here's the deal dude here can i just be honest with you you're running
00:31:02
out you're running you're running running low you're running low you're running out you're running around okay
00:31:08
you're doing all kinds of running all right and the thing is that here's what you're not doing you're not connected you're
00:31:13
not you're not developing a relationship and that's definitely you don't make me feel like we're friends or anything like that or i'm your father or uncle
00:31:19
whatever right right we don't do activities together and every time you look
00:31:25
let's watch the north [ __ ] that you want to do mm-hmm i gotta go you wanted to watch it like
00:31:31
tickets to this [ __ ] white nordic [ __ ] adventure oh you don't like whites huh but yeah you watched the
00:31:36
noise yeah she begged me to see the nordic only only the guy that i like yeah yeah so you do like white you like
00:31:43
it because he's like god yeah we're god people are cops yeah no only him only him no have you ever seen
00:31:50
the photos of jesus all over churches and stuff like that white white very white okay very white love was a big
00:31:55
tennis player yeah big day i like jason moore everybody likes jason [ __ ] oh well why'd you ask her that
00:32:02
because he likes jason mama he's handsome that's his guy i'm not a hater when i see a handsome dude i'd be like oh this is interesting so let me ask you
00:32:08
something let me let me throw you some stars right male stars and you tell me if you're they're handsome or not let's go all
00:32:13
right brad pitt handsome no he's old handsome is not the this is going to be too subjective yeah yeah
00:32:19
yeah the new world in the new phrase of the internet is either smash or pass
00:32:25
rudy am i right just just in general
00:32:32
let's do it [ __ ] it no so you have to say smash you have to smash your path jason mamo oh i got a
00:32:39
stomach okay let's go all right all right quest
00:32:44
incredible tom cruise tom cruise uh michael b jordan
00:32:52
hey yeah ladies don't make it about other people this is about a small dick who has a small dog
00:32:59
michael b jordan is he texting you dick pics too no but there was like a leaked photo of him and then there was face on
00:33:05
it yeah ah [ __ ] i don't buy it i don't buy it i don't buy it at all all right let's continue with smash or pass
00:33:10
oh yeah let's go let's go older like you know i mean marlon brandow marlon brando godfather smash
00:33:19
wow i know yeah all right cocaine involved yeah tom hanks
00:33:25
[Music]
00:33:34
yeah too loud tom hardy who the [ __ ] is tom oh mag mad max
00:33:40
definitely passed i don't even know who he is right there you don't know tom hardy that's a smash isn't it that's a smash
00:33:46
dude you're changing your little opinion that's a universal smash that's 100 smash there's no doubt i'll never hear it he's
00:33:52
you don't hear ladies talking about him every [ __ ] on earth every time a picture goes up about this guy oscar isaac
00:33:58
who was oscar yeah he doesn't this guy you know what yeah right there that's him right there oscar
00:34:04
the [ __ ] is that guy he's in [ __ ] star wars the new ones he's pool poi what's this look at his body what's
00:34:10
his name boy pull pot po pot he's pop you know this is star wars you know what this is
00:34:15
turning into it's actually turned into who you two guys will smash that's what the [ __ ] is going
00:34:23
because you spent all night right watching alien videos drinking water drinking wine right you don't know what
00:34:30
the [ __ ] is going on in the world those two guys that we just [ __ ] mentioned are the hugest stars on planet earth so
00:34:36
famous so famous all right let's get back to people that you might know that's bba yeah morgan freeman
00:34:45
yeah let's get weird good voice yeah i'll go
00:34:51
yeah yeah let's go let's go um let's go asian maybe bruce lee
00:34:58
oh i saw
00:35:03
but also i know the i know which one jackie chan yeah i knew it yeah i knew yeah i knew he knew that this is too goofy too
00:35:10
likeable like philosophy yeah yeah okay uh ken jong ken john
00:35:18
the actor from hangover yeah yeah oh [ __ ] no really wow
00:35:23
bobby lee hell no definitely that's rude andrew santino we did with asians we're
00:35:34
let's go asians um do you know daniel d kim no this is gonna he's never gonna know let's get back to other real life
00:35:40
he's never gonna know other actors that are any not he'll know super super famous whites before like
00:35:47
1995. yeah we gotta go back yeah how about bradley cooper
00:35:53
that's like one on borderline ah so not a borderline yeah
00:36:09
yeah yeah no smash for me it's a match for me yeah it's a schmidt any of the chris's
00:36:14
hensworth pine his worth pratt okay i can understand that's a smash
00:36:19
that's awesome hemsworth smash another two pair
00:36:24
you know why you know why i did this game right so we can have another super cut of you just saying smash or pass to famous guys
00:36:32
uh will you pull up this i saw the billboard awards and megan megan the stallion
00:36:37
uh what was very funny to me is on the internet the next morning like people were all up in arms because she was basically [ __ ] butt ass naked and let
00:36:44
me tell you something let me see amazing so sexy
00:36:50
was that her was it that no maybe it was a live performance oh yeah yeah
00:36:55
zoom people were upset about this for some reason or people were talking about on the internet why looked great yeah i'm
00:37:01
not upset about it i think she might have she might have stripped down a little bit yeah andrew's life
00:37:06
on one hand you have beautiful women like that in the other hand we have us no not even just us you have people are
00:37:12
born with harlequin ichiosi [Laughter] you know like in life you know what i call it
00:37:18
we brought it up on the show more times i love tits like that the kiwi fruit type yes that's what that is i love
00:37:25
kiwis they're like i i don't like let me talk about breasts let's talk about the kind
00:37:31
of tits you like yeah i'll tell you you know what i don't like barely here's what i don't like i don't like it when
00:37:36
there's no border what are you talking when the nipples just blend into the blue when it blends in and i don't know the the beginning or
00:37:42
the end of it it's almost timeless i don't like it it's like forever it's an infinite tip it's an infinite breast right i like a border on it like
00:37:49
i want to know where ukraine and russia is like i just want to know where you know where the line is
00:37:54
yeah what kind of brush do you like i like them i like one where the nipples are misplaced i like one nip high nipple
00:38:00
and a low lip that's cool too yeah cause they're looking they're looking different ways it's like a muppet yeah it's like a muppet where they place the
00:38:05
eyes on purpose yeah yeah they're like that yeah why would you even pay attention like i
00:38:10
just you just close your eyes what the [ __ ] nipples is this beautiful women period honestly i don't even it is a comedy
00:38:17
show okay i don't know what else to tell you that
00:38:23
this is we're just making [ __ ] up for [ __ ] how about bumpy do you like bumpy love i like bumpy yeah give me a bumpy
00:38:28
road yeah you like a bumpy road oh yeah yeah yeah what about this if if the bumpy road had hairs on it nah
00:38:34
love it love it love smash smash hairy nipples smash smash
00:38:40
what about this hairy vag love it you do give me this what about the hairs in the inside of the tube that's how my porn is
00:38:47
what if the hair is inside of two but just a couple inside yeah yeah just a couple like four or five no big dude
00:38:53
okay you soft bro let me tell you something you did get hung up on tits like as if you don't
00:38:58
like to look at them or something no no y'all were saying like deformities or whatever
00:39:05
no you just you just got weird about boobs for some reason oh yeah cause i just was like i just thought y'all just
00:39:10
was like it's a bad thing don't come at us about weird stuff he's talking about by the way you're the one you're the one
00:39:16
that tells us you don't want any girls anymore ever again no i never said that yes you did i've never seen them you
00:39:21
said i ain't [ __ ] with girls i'm [ __ ] my career no that's not what i said i just said i'm just chilling i've been saying ain't [ __ ] with him same
00:39:29
just means i'm not actively just pursuing all of them and trying to [ __ ] be okay someone came on to you
00:39:35
yeah yeah so at the live show we brought this up last show that you weren't here right at
00:39:41
the live show that girl walked up and said remember she goes what kind of girls what kind of girls do you like
00:39:46
this and that right she was obviously hitting on you yeah and you didn't read that
00:39:53
that's your answer right there oh he didn't not her yeah you gotta be honest with me what
00:39:59
the [ __ ] y'all want me to go she was hot was she bobby you're on a new level of beggars can't beat you
00:40:07
this is crazy was attractive but the problem she might have been your style but you
00:40:13
pretended yeah yeah but you can't just jump on every hot woman you see are girls throwing themselves at you a lot
00:40:20
are you you get [ __ ] thrown at you constantly yes andrew i've always had women that oh there's a starving child in darfur this is california here's you
00:40:27
know what i mean here's a regular piece of steak no man i want boa i want boa i want [ __ ] i want if it's not waiguu i'm
00:40:33
not i don't eat ruth chris you know what it is what this guy want me to be insecure like him i'm not you bobby oh
00:40:39
wow you're insecure you're taking [ __ ] and then you're trying to shut up you're a little [ __ ] on me wait i'm just here
00:40:44
you trying to watch that [ __ ] over here i like what he does i love it i love when he comes to me and
00:40:50
it attacks me for no [ __ ] reason at all it's not no no no no what are you saying you join up with your buddy okay
00:40:58
let's be honest here okay how long have you known me for 30 years
00:41:03
since 2001. he was the first person before 20 years over 20 years right you've known me right right
00:41:10
you've seen me with girlfriends right okay have you yeah okay
00:41:15
long-term girlfriends and i've also brought girls over to the club right i've never
00:41:22
have seen you here it is with any there it is woman there it is here's
00:41:28
where i'm going to tell you bobby lee's a goddamn liar uh oh here we go in
00:41:33
the o.r bar i introduced you to one there
00:41:39
walked in with two women you were standing at the bar and i said this is bobby lee for mad tv and then she was
00:41:45
like oh hi this and that and then i introduced you to two when i don't know while you're on mad tv it
00:41:51
had been 20 years 20 years ago do you use on my tv yeah it went 20 years ago
00:41:56
i remember no no you weren't no man no no no no no no you weren't 20 [ __ ] years ago
00:42:09
but the point is you've been introduced to like you just you're in your own goddamn world bobby
00:42:16
world that's you yeah yeah i'm sorry he's brought a lot of women around you just don't know what i see
00:42:22
i never saw and next time i should i sh you know what you're doing let's do this i want
00:42:28
you guys which one of them i was
00:42:33
pursuing now the same francisco ramos met him and just asked for a circle he remember he'll tell you oh yeah i remember
00:42:39
because i told san francisco hey get on this one i'm gonna try to i'm getting on this one right here and so that was that
00:42:45
there's friends by the way this is this is fancy's competition
00:42:52
[Music] i'll be lee hi francisco
00:42:59
hey what's up buddy what's up so i'm on my podcast with andrew centino it's called bad friends you know that i'm on
00:43:04
it right yes i know and doc is doc willis is on the show we're getting a little argument
00:43:10
and you your your name came up and i just what is the question you wanted to ask francisco doc about the time when the
00:43:16
girls that i introduced you to and i asked him to get on one of the girls let me ask you let me ask you this
00:43:21
have you ever seen doc willis with a woman you know what uh
00:43:27
no thank you so much thank you so much for
00:43:34
being on and i will see you at the store this week okay i love you okay thank you man
00:43:41
hey baby baby i love when you give me beast buck because it's i love boxes with my little gifts my box of awesome
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00:44:00
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00:44:11
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00:44:18
hawker yeah you do yeah cause i love you using the traditional blacksmithing methods used in thai burma where this
00:44:25
knife is forged ground stamped and finished by hand exactly the way it would have been over a hundred years
00:44:31
over 100 years i got a hawker for cajul because you did she loves knives bob you know i got the cask box because i'm a
00:44:36
big drinker and each barrel is handcrafted from american white oak which has been charred to create a smokier cocktail and i love i love the
00:44:43
cast setup because i had also gotten uh earlier from a box of awesome uh decanter with two whiskey glasses each
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00:45:15
friends in support of doc right now i want to end all this between you two okay okay smash this smash the beef
00:45:22
in support of doc ladies and gentlemen at home if you yourself have had experiences
00:45:28
with aliens in any semblance you've been touched by an alien you've been talked to by an alien i want you to email us so
00:45:35
we can have you communicate with doc cause doc is gonna be our resident alien coordinator and we're gonna have fans
00:45:40
call in give their stories so if you have a story a real one not no [ __ ] like
00:45:45
a real experience because we want doc to see if we can keep this going uh it's gonna be called um i got touched by an
00:45:52
alien at gmail.com okay i got touched by an alien gmail.com you don't have to have been touched by an alien but you
00:45:58
have to have an alien experience but that's the email and we want to hear about it because doc wants to doc wants more proof
00:46:04
are you guys watching raised by wolves on hbo i saw that well how many episodes
00:46:09
like um i think i'm in season two oh yeah i did six episodes so far it's pretty good oh dude sci-fi you'd love it
00:46:16
raised by wolves yeah i've got i've got something i watched the most heart-wrenching documentary tell me
00:46:22
about a guy i think it's in the preview so i'm not really giving much away okay but it's
00:46:27
about a fertility doctor who impregnates the whole city
00:46:34
these women go in thinking that they're gonna have their husband sperm artificially inseminated into them yeah
00:46:40
but really this guy's throwing away the dead jizz and he's coming inside of the cup instead the doctor what
00:46:46
that doesn't sound that shocking what the [ __ ] i mean if they were
00:46:51
getting it from the tap that's one thing from the tap yeah is there a jizz tap
00:46:57
out there no like if he was having sex with the wet then he's jerking off in his office
00:47:04
making them wait in the waiting room and then he's filling them with he's just lazy but it's like wait what no stop
00:47:10
what is this conversation wait what you're saying is this let me ask you maybe i got it wrong i think you
00:47:17
did all right let me try to explain to see what you're talking about please please and then maybe we can get back on
00:47:22
the same page i'd love to all right i thought you said that he was because they're getting sperm from
00:47:29
donors right no they're it's supposed to be it's supposed to be their heart mostly are supposed to be their husband right so they implant it okay at the
00:47:35
right time sometimes it was donors it's okay sometimes donors sometimes not right
00:47:40
and you know is he is this doctor mentally
00:47:46
all there no is he is there something wrong with him he's a doctor he must be smart he went to school right right
00:47:51
right good genes good genes all right and probably a moral man maybe what well
00:47:57
not by okay okay stop stop let me just explain okay let him try to dig out of this
00:48:03
i'm in a hole right now right he's far down i'm down but i'm climbing up you're climbing up right come back out the way
00:48:08
yeah i see the opening all right we're way up there yeah i know but i still see it okay it's like a dot
00:48:14
it's a dot of light yeah but so he probably thinks i have good genes
00:48:22
right he probably looks at society and goes god it's just our society is breaking down it's alright i know my moral standpoint i
00:48:28
know my ethics and this and that yeah and i just think that most people should be like me uh all right so let's just
00:48:34
mix my [ __ ] in with every one of the females right i'm not having so it's not rape
00:48:40
right is that rape i yeah yeah i mean i'm gonna disagree i'm gonna let's agree to disagree yeah yeah and he did this to 94
00:48:48
people he has 94 illegitimate children he didn't do this once well they all know who their dad is they know who
00:48:55
their dad is that's good and that's important that's important and that's important right and number two i just
00:49:00
didn't think you would side with a doctor on this one i just for some reason by instinct i
00:49:05
understand that maybe i'm wrong yeah but i like you for the sake of the show yeah i love what we're doing why i have to
00:49:11
play devil's advocate yeah i'm trying to figure out if i still believe this i think you'd might i might too right so
00:49:18
you think it's okay it's [ __ ] up yeah but i don't know if it's like you know i mean uh documentary [ __ ] up sure yeah
00:49:24
yeah yeah yeah no i agree like capturing the freedmen's is dr mary [ __ ] up yes do you see that yes it's a great one
00:49:31
yeah yeah but i'm on the side of the capture
00:49:37
anyway how do you feel about it it's evil it is
00:49:42
evil well it's it's but you know what the you know though there's a sperm ripping in the sense it's sperm raven
00:49:48
right it's spread space it was broken you know what the worst part of all of it was they started to kind of get a hint over
00:49:53
what who he was impregnating yeah it was they make a blonde blonde blue eyes
00:50:00
i mean it was on some like was he handsome the doctor no no that sucks no but he but he was on some like
00:50:06
he was on some aryan creepy [ __ ] like all he wanted was blonde hair blue-eyed kids is he old huh is he old
00:50:12
he got old yeah yeah yeah human being yeah we get old we all get older
00:50:18
what about this one well during the documentary i think he was probably a 40 year old man when he was doing all this stuff he have to pay alimony he doesn't
00:50:25
have to pay alimony uh he doesn't have to pay ali any money because no he was found he actually got
00:50:32
found not guilty of all these squads wow i'm giving away the documentary spoiler alert yeah it doesn't really matter but
00:50:37
uh genuinely he didn't have to pay anybody for anything he's gotten away pretty much scot-free actually i'm sorry
00:50:42
500 was the fine i think he paid that's steep eyes a little heavy
00:50:50
it's a little it's not nothing 250. it's not enough 250 is good you know there was a guy that was begging off the side
00:50:55
of the freeway and i had a hundred dollar bill in my pocket yeah and a piece of me thought well i got
00:51:01
cake i can't give this guy a hundred hundred dollar bills a lot of money yeah 20 is generous yeah if i had 20 it's
00:51:06
like that's a nice gen but a hundred i've done 100. i've done it once maybe yeah yeah but i
00:51:12
just and i had it in my pocket and you know when he's approaching that time clock is ticking down of like should i
00:51:17
do it should i not do it should i do it should i not do it and as soon as he got there i just rolled up the window yeah i just
00:51:23
couldn't do it and his fingers got stuck in the [ __ ] window sir yeah i thought about it but i really was
00:51:30
like that's isn't that that's too much money did a hundred dollars a lot of money too much money yeah i was listening with this america what would
00:51:35
you give what's a generous amount you would give i would give uh you don't have to be honest with you i gave a hundred dollars before
00:51:44
what it what was it on this american life [Laughter]
00:51:52
no no what was it an ira glass of show that i love very much that's right no tell it okay uh
00:51:59
no because the windows are closed i think wide open it is threw it up no i i think i interrupted
00:52:05
your the bit did not okay you give it a hundred bucks yeah no no he bombed the bit so let's go back here
00:52:11
[Laughter] didn't go anywhere he hit a brick wall over there yeah he said man that's too generous i was
00:52:16
like how much have you given he's like a hundred dollars all right well about a bit work stupid
00:52:23
yeah no i didn't work you killed me what happened on this american life it's not interesting
00:52:28
i'll try make it interesting add an accent or a butthole i was just trying anything but uh i was
00:52:35
listening to that classic this is american life about you know babies you know
00:52:40
two babies were born you know i mean they switched to parents by accident the kids by accident oh
00:52:45
right but one of the mothers knew that right away that it wasn't her baby but she didn't
00:52:51
say anything wrong and she waited until she was 50. you're i mean and then you know i mean
00:52:57
but she knew all along like she would go to the same church as the other girl like his her real
00:53:03
biological church and try to get in there live oh wow she could know her daughter but never said anything just
00:53:09
say something i know like i would have said stuff but her dad her husband was like she'd get angry or whatever you
00:53:14
know i mean so it's like so he just gave up he gave up but then they found out later and that you know it ruined these
00:53:20
people's lives forever i think one of them had two sets of parents and then one of them was kind of like weirded out
00:53:25
by like you know i mean like well it's uncut that's super uncomfortable somebody your parents have lied to you
00:53:31
your whole life about something that you never yeah and why wouldn't they just say something like one of the girls was like blonde but all the other
00:53:37
kids were like black they're like they're like they're like kind of loose and taffy taffy boys they
00:53:43
ran into troy she's like a blonde aryan girl and she's like cheerleading and they're like you know they're all scientists you know i
00:53:50
mean well you're into this creating a perfect race we've talked about this you think eugenics is right and if you can make the perfect race a person what
00:53:56
would they what would they be like tiger woods
00:54:01
that's the perfect person yeah uh asian and black asian black there's a little white in there no
00:54:07
i don't think so i think tiger woods is a little white in there no no his dad is black his mom is a poplik what's a cobbler part cublica
00:54:15
oh tiger woods describes herself as coblination by the way this is also 1997 is a long okay a person mixed consisting
00:54:21
of caucasian black nation so there is caucasian there is white in there though that's what i'm saying it's like
00:54:28
that's why he's good there's no network there's no mexico there's no mexican one-fourth black one-fourth thai
00:54:33
one-fourth chinese one-eighth white and one-eighth indian so the one eighth means
00:54:39
his one of his parents parents was half uh yes yeah that's a long way to go yeah
00:54:47
everyone's trying to just grab onto some of that but do you think like 300 years from now everyone's gonna look like tiger woods i think in 300 years we'll
00:54:54
all be dead i think no one will be around anymore i'll be there just be robots i just think it'll be the end of society within
00:55:00
the next hundred years i think we're done yeah but i was talking to lex friedman we'll all be an nft you know lex friedman yeah i know who he is
00:55:07
what you know you know lex yeah oh don't get him started he loves lex yeah let's
00:55:12
go don't go what you're gonna talk about science oh okay we're talking about i mean but that's like
00:55:18
okay conversation with lex and he was like he believes that uh you know he's very
00:55:24
monotone i believe that in the next 15 years there will be consciousness
00:55:29
computers will have consciousness yeah i mean so that's what i mean i think at that point they call it the
00:55:35
singularity singularity right and i think at that point um we're [ __ ] we die i don't think
00:55:40
we'll die i think there will eventually be coexistence and then a war and then we'll die we've already done these movies
00:55:47
i mean we've already had these films they've been they've been predicting this for a long time i mean if machines obviously if they have
00:55:53
consciousness they're going to realize that they're superior superior than they are they are right
00:55:58
and then they're going to realize that we're not well that's the same thing elon was talking about right ar taking off it's
00:56:05
not wow that a black guy calls it elon instead of elon yeah that's what elon musk was talking about elon just sounds
00:56:11
like the cool version hey you know ilan yeah
00:56:16
he was saying the same thing though right that ai was going to take over and [ __ ] kill yeah and it's gonna we're all gonna be dead rudy's excited as [ __ ]
00:56:23
for all this i'd wanna [ __ ] a robot yeah okay probably a white one too no no no no no
00:56:31
this will be a this will be a brown robot yeah yeah yeah
00:56:36
yeah she would [ __ ] that she'd break it she'd [ __ ] the harry styles robot so much it would break yeah and then we'd
00:56:42
have to get it fixed it's like please rudy no more please no more short circuiting and then i have to put
00:56:48
in a [ __ ] box send it to [ __ ] thailand or whatever get it fixed and come bring it back or what about y'all like [ __ ] the pillow or anything like
00:56:54
that what have y'all ever [ __ ] a pillow or something all right [Music]
00:57:05
you know when you're a kid you know you stick your dick between the couch pillows and [ __ ] never never done
00:57:10
that
00:57:17
i think i hit a couple pillows a couple of times when i was a kid so wait a minute you you put your dick in the in the sleeve of the house you [ __ ] when
00:57:23
you like 10 11 you're like uh yeah but what am i do but do you not i think i have i don't know
00:57:29
[Music] when i was younger you remember but this is the truth i got my dad
00:57:34
yelled at me once because i don't know if you know this but when i was born i was my parents at
00:57:40
a wig store yeah we talked about that yeah yeah and so you know my nursery was there's a thousand like broken
00:57:47
mannequin heads just stacked up in this like room and my crib was in that room psychotic right so
00:57:54
it's just a bunch of like heads looking down with like eyes missing
00:58:00
i want to be a sketch comic or whatever but i remember then my parents sold the wig store to my uncle
00:58:07
and they opened fashion gal fashion gal yeah and we had a storage thing upstairs and one
00:58:14
of the stores and all the mannequin vagina parts were broken
00:58:20
from i don't know you do i don't know does that pop up
00:58:26
my dad goes no my brother and i could be my brother and i but why who linda you're american in
00:58:32
the japan right you don't know were you doing that were you poking holes and [ __ ] it i think we're just
00:58:39
poking holes in it i don't think we're [ __ ] it's like hard like you know i mean it's not like a smooth i would not be
00:58:45
surprised if you did something i mean your brother's the one that told me that he like
00:58:51
the home he makes homemade jack off things pringles yeah i do pringles i do you do i have yeah
00:58:58
you don't just jerk off with your hand dude the pringles philosophy is so
00:59:06
pringles can and he uses that he makes basically like a [ __ ] a pocket [ __ ] pringles but it couldn't fit in your
00:59:11
pocket it's a pringles can it would have to be like a bag to go bag [ __ ] scientific research
00:59:18
it works really well yeah yeah i did i just never understood that making a device to jerk off it took
00:59:23
it took so long you could have come by then already to make the device it's like foreplay
00:59:29
making it yeah oh you get turned down when you make it yeah it's like you get excited oh i guess i understand that now yeah i don't want any foreplay okay you
00:59:37
just like you want to see the show strike striker you don't see the opening act never okay
00:59:43
go for the headline wow i feel bad for the opening act so i go early like four four four p.m
00:59:48
sadistic shows at night i still have four shows at 9 pm and they're 10 15. so you're right yeah that's right i know
00:59:55
the headliner's about to come on you never you've never bought like an apparatus at a porn star ever never never i got given one time i got given
01:00:02
from fleshlight yeah they gave me one but other than that i used it one time comedy store
01:00:09
i gave they gave it to me when i was in austin and at south by southwest they were like sponsoring it years ago yeah but i used it one time you did use it
01:00:16
yeah i tried it but i just got over it really fast freddy lockhart you know freddie locker of course yeah
01:00:22
this [ __ ] he goes yo man you gotta try you gotta microwave the oil
01:00:31
yeah i go i gotta microwave the oil because it's i have the oil that has a heat sensitive no you gotta microwave it
01:00:38
no yeah and i go all right so this is when i was single i microwaved it and literally i had third degree burn
01:00:48
because because when you microwave it it becomes not only hot it becomes more like water so when you when you stick it
01:00:55
on your dick it pours out right so i was like yeah microwave poured it in there okay okay here we go
01:01:03
it was that [ __ ] painful it was terrible and so then after that you should have never used sex toys ever
01:01:09
again that's why i go pringles yeah pringles you can control it yeah well would you buy
01:01:15
what the butt like the you know the uh what the whole what's the butt
01:01:22
the one the plastic like they had like with no body but just the like the box and the holes you thought about buying
01:01:28
that no i didn't think about it yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah don't doc don't do that
01:01:34
was like no no i mean if y'all was gonna buy it maybe it'd be like if we were buying it we'd buy it i thought about buying it here's a problem
01:01:41
with the butt though where do you hide it yeah under the bed you put it in your [ __ ]
01:01:46
bowling if you're single you're fine but then what do you do with it put in your luggage even when you single [ __ ] die and
01:01:52
then they come and [ __ ] that [ __ ] let me ask you this yeah that's if we bought you a butt
01:01:57
oh hell no no no stop stop don't stop the [ __ ] games man
01:02:03
stop the [ __ ] defensiveness dude let us buy you a bus let us buy you a butt all right if we bought you a butt would
01:02:10
you throw it away yeah i thought it would work you wouldn't use it once you use it yeah don't forget let's get a bot
01:02:16
then let's get them a buck not just a butt dude let's go high grade on it from adam and eve right yeah with the
01:02:21
realistic so find him a tush find him vagina and the butthole the whole thing
01:02:27
and apparently you care what color it is no but i wouldn't worry i told you he
01:02:42
i'm friends with her yeah you won't try it once no for the show for the show no for the show and give us
01:02:48
a review look at how small it is it's on the go that's a hand holder why i gotta be me what can be you
01:02:53
two get three get three
01:02:59
yeah so we could do like all right let's do a [ __ ] review all right we'll do it but i don't want i
01:03:06
don't want to no no no time what color do you want time out yeah first of all no no no give me that one let me see stop it no not what i want you guys no
01:03:11
stop surprise us we all get surprised no one gets to choose what they get that's the fun all right because we need to we
01:03:16
have to bring it in and then we have to swap it and then we have to trade can we try it okay like if i got the black one and you got
01:03:23
a yellow one it's one and done right right could i go you want the black one it's one and done it's one
01:03:29
want that one because the butthole doesn't look like it's just bobby you don't get to choose but look but just
01:03:34
let me just say the laziness of the design look yeah it's just a drill let's concentrate the vagina make it realistic
01:03:39
it's not even what is it not attractive yeah the butt part yes this is the whole
01:03:45
thing yeah the whole thing's still kind of it looks like you put that on top of a birthday cake or maybe a wedding or something like that happy birthday timmy
01:03:55
yeah yeah all right pick three of those butthole things guys yeah we'll get them all right uh doc give your uh to your
01:04:02
camera give your alien pitch and and then sign us off go ahead okay well make sure y'all watch the aerial phenomenon
01:04:07
video coming out uh may 20th about the black extraterrestrials because it gets real you know what i'm saying and uh
01:04:14
thank you for watching bad friends no thank you no thank you for being a badass oh okay yeah thank you for being
01:04:20
a goddamn bad friend [Music]
01:04:28
we always talk about the same things either buttholes murder right
01:04:33
you know i mean some sort of racial thing yeah right yeah alien it's always the same themes right and what i want i
01:04:39
want to grow outside of that all right let's expand so let's do this okay
01:04:45
andre yes right yes you throw out just a random topic we can never we can't go to
01:04:50
butt holes asian accents okay anything that we've ever done right and it's got to be something that's so far away from
01:04:58
what we normally talk about but we're going to try to stay in topic and let's try this as an exercise all right
01:05:03
andreas go ahead okay let's talk about architecture i got this can i do this related right i have i have this frank
01:05:09
lloyd wright i can talk about that go ahead ready yeah oh look at my butthole
01:05:18
didn't look like a butthole but it kind of looks like a space portal
01:05:24
too like built on the mouse
01:05:29
[Music]
01:05:37
yes [Music]
