00:00:00
Hey, what's up bad friends? I'm coming to San Diego, Bobby's hometown on June
00:00:04
28th. I'll be there. Two shows in Delmare. Bro, come out Delmare in San Diego. June 28th. Two shows at the
00:00:10
sound. Beautiful sound in Delmare. And then July 24th, I'm in St. Charles, Missouri. Very close, if not the same
00:00:17
place, basically. St. Louis, Missouri. They're next door neighbors. Come out
00:00:19
and see me July 24th. And June 28th, come see me in San Diego. Andrewsantino.com for those tickets.
00:00:24
Andrewsantino.com. >> You two are bad friends. >> Who are these two idiots? a white dude
00:00:30
and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. >> You two are something. >> We're bad friends.
00:00:38
>> Bad Mad TV. >> Okay. And then >> it's called Sugar High Bakery. Shout out
00:00:45
to them in uh in Michigan. >> They came to my show. >> There's no in what?
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>> I made sure there's no weed in those. >> There's no weed in it.
00:00:51
>> Franken Muth, Michigan. >> Yeah. >> This is good. Little bad friend cookie.
00:00:55
And then here it's me and my little prince. >> Yeah. Yep. Do you hear about the prank I I
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pulled out on Carlos? >> No. >> What was it? >> What was it? >> You You don't remember the prank?
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>> No. What was it? >> Okay. So, we're flying into >> Oh god. This is like a security risk.
00:01:11
>> It's a security prank. >> Okay. >> You like to hear it?
00:01:14
>> Yeah. >> Okay. So, we're flying into We're an hour late. >> So, we're on the tarmac in LA. Don't you
00:01:21
hate when that happens? >> This is the worst airport in the United States. That's why we got to get out of
00:01:27
here. >> Spencer Pratt >> Pratt >> in there >> in there.
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>> Anyway, we're at the LAX on the tarmac. >> 90 minutes. >> 90 minutes. Hour and a half.
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>> Now we're flying to Detroit. Am I right? >> Okay. >> Correct.
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>> So, correct to you. And very good, dude. And I um >> really good, Carlos.
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>> So, you know, we have dinner reservations. >> You know how daddy gets when I can't
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have my dinner reservations. What do you mean? The pilot didn't know you guys had
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a DINNER TABLE? >> DID NOT KNOW, DUDE. >> WHAT'S his problem? >> I don't know, DUDE.
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>> LET'S GO. >> LET'S GO. >> LET'S GO. >> RIGHT. SO, when we land in Detroit, we
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we have to get going. Now, >> people have to make their connections. So, you know what they say over the
00:02:10
over, >> you know what they say? >> What do they say? >> I don't know what they say is um for
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those if this is your, you know, I mean, destination, you sit while other people
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get up. >> Never works >> and go. But they did it. Never. People sat.
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>> Yeah, people sat. Right. But then I texted Carlos. I go cuz he's in the
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back. >> So I talked to Carlo. >> Well, the middle. I got >> Yeah. Yeah. Middle. I put him in first
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class when we fly. >> No, not me. And um I texted Carlos. I go, "Pretend that you you have a
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connection." >> Mhm. >> Right. So everyone's sitting and he's
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rushing up, right, and saying, "No, I have a connection. I have a connection."
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Right. And he gets to the front and then what do I do? >> He doesn't have a connection. He's lying
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is what he's >> You called him out. So fun. So I He made me get so I yelled
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back at him >> in front of everyone. >> Yeah. Chaos. >> It was chaos.
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>> I love that. >> Did you love that? >> I wish I was there. >> I knew you would love it.
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>> God, that's funny. >> Yeah, I did for you, dude. >> That's a good one.
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>> Yeah, it's a good one. Right. >> He's lying. I know him. That's Carlos.
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>> He stood by the door waiting for me. >> So he let everyone and and now the
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flight attendants are looking at him like, "This guy's a liar." >> Yeah. Yeah.
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>> Yeah. >> And then but I texted all the my openers as well. two openers.
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>> You know, >> who did you who'd you bring? You bought Cat and who else?
00:03:26
>> Ramsey Badaw. >> Not. Yeah. Right. Ramsey. Yeah. >> And I told them to do the same thing cuz
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I was going to call him out. >> But Cat didn't do it. >> Yeah. Cat's a wuss. She bailed.
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>> Yeah. So, she bailed on the thing. >> She's a wuss. She wouldn't do that.
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>> Yeah. So, there's consequences. >> Big time. You're fired.
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>> Yeah. He made her cry at dinner. >> What'd you do? >> It didn't make her cry at dinner, dude.
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>> She cried I >> She cried on her own behalf. >> I I text Wait. She cried on her own
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behalf. >> What did she cry of? >> You brought up like drama in her life.
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>> Yeah. Yeah. It's some drama in her life. >> Why? Why are you wh Why?
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>> We're having dinner. >> Oh, >> we made it. >> Yeah.
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>> We made dinner. >> Normal dinner. >> Yeah. Normal dinner. Drama.
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>> Yeah. Drama dinner. >> Dinner. DD is what I like to call it. Drama dinner.
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>> Drama dinner. >> Yeah. Yeah. And so I didn't know that it was going to make her cry.
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>> Did you? >> No. But you could you could you kept going after I saw the tears start.
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>> Yeah. I'm because I have Asian eyes. >> Oh, okay. >> And also I have bad poor eyesight as it
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is. That's also true. And that's also true. So I have double >> He can't see.
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>> I can't see [ __ ] Right. So I didn't see the welling. >> Yeah.
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>> You know what I mean? And you know a lot of times you got to see the welling.
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>> So I pre you know I didn't see the pre-welling. >> There was no welling.
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>> There was no welling of the eyes. Right. So then I go let's keep going.
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>> Oh. And you dug deeper. >> Yep. >> A little deeper. >> Then some water comes out.
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>> And then water comes out. I still can't see it. >> Really? >> Yeah. Yeah.
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>> She's drenched at this point. >> Until I see >> lip tremble.
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>> Trembles. I can see. >> Trembles. You can see. >> Lip trembles. Number one.
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>> You got up and hugged her. That's how I knew you knew it was >> that's on an eye chart when you go to
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the doctor. >> What? >> You know they they say, "Can you read this?" E FQSP and can you see this
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tremble? And they stand underneath. >> I know. I've seen that. I've seen that.
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I'm good at that. >> You can you can watch. >> Yeah. So, um but then we I made up with
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her and everything was fine. I apologize per profusely. >> Mhm. >> And you know, and here's another thing I
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would like to call out if I may, >> please. >> So, anyway, um can I can I cause
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something else? >> Yeah. >> All right. Well, um remember when MCON said that Project Hail Mary was okay?
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>> Well, he he what he said was that you think you're Ryan Gosling. >> I know, but he said the movie was okay.
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>> Yeah. He said he didn't like it. >> Yeah. Yeah. What did you think?
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>> I posted about how thought I thought it was one of the best fil moved me. I
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cried about five times. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Did you cry? >> No.
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>> Yeah. Yeah. Do you know why? >> You're a solo >> sociopath.
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>> Yeah. You're a sociopath. >> You're so a lunatic. >> A sociopathic lunatic.
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>> If that movie didn't bring you cry bring you to tears, >> then you didn't connect with what was
00:05:58
really going on. >> A little too millennial for me. It was like not like >> millennial.
00:06:02
>> Yeah. A little millennial cringe. >> Why was it What was it? >> HOLD ON.
00:06:09
SORRY. I'M SORRY. >> What about it was millennial cringe? That's the most ridiculous thing I've
00:06:15
ever heard. >> Jess, what do you mean? >> Again, I don't like it being categorized
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like I hate the movie. It was fine. >> You know how hotels have like a scent
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they spray? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> I just got LIKE A HOTEL. >> I KNOW.
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>> LIKE A RED BULL. >> I know. I'm so sorry, dude. >> It's all right.
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>> Yeah. >> I mean, it's I'm I smell like Red Bull now for the rest of
00:06:31
>> It's one of those example You know those example colog you get? >> Yeah.
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>> Yeah. >> It's now I'm Yeah. Yeah. I apologize. >> I'm in Red Bull.
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>> Yeah. But that's not a bad thing. >> No, not really. >> Yeah. Yeah. But uh anyway,
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I apologize cuz what he said was absurd. >> Here's the thing. What about the film
00:06:47
was millennial cringe? >> I just mean that kind of style of Avengers style of film making.
00:06:52
>> Wait a time out. >> Oh my god. There's no Avengers style of film making. The pacing was
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perfect. >> I'm talking about a tone though. Like they have to be like he's right behind
00:07:04
you. >> Oh yeah. And there's a guy with a shield throwing it. Right. And a guy a guy with
00:07:08
a metal. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, MAN? >> You didn't like the cheeky
00:07:12
>> I I didn't like the cheeky self-awareness thing. It's They've been
00:07:15
Hollywood's doing it for like 10 years and it's I I'm personally over it, but
00:07:18
the movie was Movie was fine. I thought it was okay. >> Okay, but let me give a little bit Let
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me give context for people. >> Teach him the lesson. >> People that even haven't seen it. Ryan's
00:07:27
character was excellently executed by him to be a mumbly bumbly unsure of himself kind of high functioning
00:07:34
uncomfortable person. >> The every man. So when he's doing this, he's playing kind of into the role more
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so than the thing you're talking about. >> He's playing us. >> That's fair.
00:07:43
>> He's playing us. >> I think it was less dazzling and the anatomy of a fall girl. They were both
00:07:48
his play Bobby. He's playing >> No, Bobby. No, >> you guys are >> You guys are really
00:07:55
>> Yeah. Yeah. They're really >> What's going on? >> What is going on?
00:07:57
>> Because I walked in and the way Also, you called me today five times. You left
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a voicemail. I couldn't make out. >> Yeah. Yeah. And then when it did call
00:08:03
you back, it was like, "Are you going to be okay with that? I thought it was you're an EDM
00:08:16
DJ." >> Oh. Oh, God. >> I didn't understand a word you said. I
00:08:19
said, "I got to call you back. I can't even I don't know what you're saying."
00:08:21
>> You didn't. >> I But did you text me or call me? >> No.
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>> Why? >> It's You know, >> it was about me. >> He's the boss,
00:08:31
>> dude. Dude, >> no. He was >> I'm gonna leave, dude. >> What?
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>> I want to leave. >> What did I do? >> He just said it. >> What did I You're the boss.
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>> He's right. >> So, I get nothing. >> You get all my love.
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>> I will send to you. >> I was going to do the Led Zeppelin. >> All of my love. Is that what it is?
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>> All of my love. >> Whatever. Anyway, um you give me that. >> Mhm.
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>> Okay. Last thing I want to say. There's a couple other things I want to say. Oh,
00:09:01
before you before you move on, >> go ahead. >> You're infinitely wrong about the film.
00:09:04
If your criticism was that it was too long, that's one thing because it was quite long. However,
00:09:09
>> it was well done. It touched a nerve. It It's a representation of emotions,
00:09:15
relationships, love, friendships, loneliness. It was about all of these things and it was encapsulated between
00:09:22
someone that was a, you know, a being. >> Don't Don't even give that away cuz
00:09:26
that's a spoiler. >> Well, it's been out for like a three months now. I know, but still don't give
00:09:30
it away. >> Anyway, >> it's a rock creature. >> Calls him Rocky.
00:09:35
>> Yeah, we're going to call it >> the communicate. It was so funny.
00:09:37
Anyway, >> it was like very cutesy and I thought it was cute. >> Oh my god, this guy. ET was cute.
00:09:43
>> When we were when we were kids, when you saw ET, did you get the same feeling as
00:09:48
Project Hail Mary? >> 100%. >> Of magic. >> Yeah, magic. Well, it also made me feel
00:09:52
like, >> God, that's a really good example. >> It made you feel like, oh my god,
00:09:58
>> anything's possible. that we are we can do >> we can win the war in the war in Iran.
00:10:02
>> That's what I thought. >> Yeah. Yeah. That's what it made me feel.
00:10:05
You know what I mean? We can do it. Yeah. We won't but we can >> we could
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>> you know so that I mean that magical feeling that you get from like those '8s
00:10:12
movies that were like >> it had it in this >> it had it in this what and I hadn't seen
00:10:16
a movie like that in so long that it it touched me in the right way >> because you're because you're in touch
00:10:21
with your emotions and m you're so devoid of that >> devoid >> that you just don't understand.
00:10:26
>> Empty shell of a man. I have never met someone that didn't cry during that.
00:10:29
>> Yeah. Yeah. My brother cried three times. How many times did you cry? >> I'm not gonna I'm not I'm not
00:10:34
exaggerating. Yeah. I genuinely well got tearary about three or four times and then one real heavy one.
00:10:40
>> Call it cat birding. >> I was burning. >> I was cat birding.
00:10:43
>> You were cat birding? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Such a good >> I welled up like three times.
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>> My brother welled up three times. Everyone I asked to watch that movie welled up. Have you seen it?
00:10:51
>> Mhm. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did you well up? >> Yeah. I think I was two though.
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>> Okay, that's fine. Two's fine. >> Okay. >> Two is good. Two's good, right?
00:10:57
>> One one's a little scary. >> One's scary. Zero >> zero is lunacy.
00:11:01
>> Lunacy. >> Absolute chaos. >> And you didn't well up at all.
00:11:05
>> No, I guess I thought it was cute. It was fun. >> Okay. What about you, Spain?
00:11:08
>> I loved it. I saw it twice. >> See? >> See, that's what I'm saying.
00:11:12
>> A real director. >> Director. Yeah. Yeah. >> A real director. So, I saw it twice. I
00:11:19
want to be like, I think I'm the next Paul Thomas Anderson, right? Sees it and
00:11:24
doesn't cry. Yeah, it is >> because they're so smug. >> There's a smugness about you guys.
00:11:29
>> That's fair. >> Okay. >> What's your middle name? Mone
00:11:32
>> Trevor. >> Gh. That that says everything. >> Yeah. >> Yeah.
00:11:38
>> You're a Grand Theft Auto character. >> Yeah. >> Trevor.
00:11:41
>> Trevor. >> PTA versus MTC. Yeah. >> You sound like a It sounds like a train
00:11:47
line. >> You've been on the MTC recently. It's a mess. Look at There's McCone.
00:11:52
>> There's McCone. Trevor. And guess what? Trevor didn't cry at that movie either.
00:11:58
>> No, he didn't. >> No, he did not. No, he didn't. >> He lit that [ __ ] lighter.
00:12:02
>> Yeah, he probably lit the movie theater on fire. >> Looking for meth. Oh, dude. Speaking of
00:12:06
airport. >> Yeah, tell me. >> Coming back from Mexico, >> they they had given us in this thing
00:12:10
that I did. They gave us like a little >> Can I guess? >> Huh? >> Can I guess?
00:12:13
>> Yeah. >> Chicklets. >> Yeah. Chicklets. >> No. No. What else?
00:12:16
>> No. They gave us a football, a commemorative football. >> Whoa. >> It was just like a little not like a It
00:12:21
was just whatever. It's like a little signature thing with the with the title
00:12:23
of the event on it. It's a nice little thing. And I put it in my carry-on. It's
00:12:27
a little tiny football. And the thing goes off and then they search my bag and he's like thumbming through it and he's
00:12:34
like, "What's in the bag?" And I was like, "It's a football like a football."
00:12:38
>> And he takes it out and he's like, "No, no, no, no." >> He said, "No." What?
00:12:42
>> No. >> He doesn't like football the game. >> He hates football.
00:12:45
>> Okay. >> It's Mexico. >> Oh. >> He goes, >> "It was a soccer ball."
00:12:49
>> Love. >> Love. Wow. He would have started kick kicking us around.
00:12:52
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> No, but he >> I'm Chicherito. >> Remember Chicherto?
00:12:57
>> Chicharito. >> Yeah. >> In his in his um you know nerd pocket.
00:13:03
The what? What is this called? >> Front pocket. >> Front pocket. >> Is there a name for this pocket?
00:13:07
>> I call it Andreas. >> Titty pocket. >> Okay. Cuz you always the dery do or
00:13:12
whatever. >> I do. >> What? What is the clothes you wear? The deryd.
00:13:15
>> That's a kangaroo pocket. >> Yeah. >> It's a little single large pitch pocket.
00:13:18
Kangaroo pocket. It's a pocket. >> So, whatever this front, he pulls out a
00:13:23
a a needle, a pin that you would put in the end of a like a pump and he's got it
00:13:28
on hand. >> Wow. >> And he in front of you >> staring at me. >> Yeah.
00:13:34
>> No. Can't do >> Can't have no I was like, "What? It's
00:13:38
air." >> Did he put it back in your bag? >> And then he goes, "Okay, go."
00:13:43
>> Do you know they gave it back, right? >> Yeah. >> You know why?
00:13:46
>> They took the air out. >> No, no, no. They smuggle drugs through that.
00:13:49
>> Of course. >> No, but it went through the thing. There was nothing inside but air.
00:13:52
>> I know. But he didn't know that until he >> No, but they went through the X-ray
00:13:55
machine and then he did it afterwards. They stopped me because >> maybe the X-ray machine can't go through
00:14:00
that thick level. >> Well, then get a new one. >> I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT
00:14:04
>> see through that. >> I don't know. >> It was wild. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:14:07
>> And then and then they pulled out the um Can't fly with fully inflated the drop
00:14:11
in air pressure. >> Why? >> It can cause the air inside to expand and make the ball pop.
00:14:16
>> It's not heat. It's just air. It's not helium. >> Yeah. Yeah. It's It's um
00:14:21
>> Should have popped. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. He saved your life then.
00:14:27
>> Yeah. He saved our life. >> Yeah. He saved your life. >> No. But then they pulled out that my had
00:14:30
I had my thera gun with me. >> Yeah. >> The massage gun. >> I love that one. I've used yours.
00:14:33
>> And he goes, "What? What? >> What? What? >> What? What?"
00:14:37
>> And I was like, "Oh, massage uh massage." >> Yeah. >> Massage. And the guy with me is like,
00:14:42
"What's going on?" I'm like, And he shows the woman in charge.
00:14:46
>> Yeah. And she's like, "What?" For what? I'm like, "Massage?
00:14:50
>> Massage?" Yeah. >> And then I go, "Massage gun." And my guy
00:14:54
goes, "Not a gun." >> And I go, "Not a I mean a massage."
00:14:58
>> Yeah. Yeah. >> And he was like, "Massage." And then I turn it on. Yeah.
00:15:01
>> Just so he can see because it looks a little spacey. It looks a little >> like you have a laser.
00:15:06
>> It looks a little Project Hail Mary. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A little bit.
00:15:09
>> Yeah. It looks weird. >> Yeah. >> I use the the other one, the the on the
00:15:13
go one. See that one? The the triangle. that one looked, you know, that one. Yeah.
00:15:16
>> And I turn it on to show him and I literally am like giving myself a massage at PSA.
00:15:20
>> That's so funny. >> And he's like, "Okay, okay, okay, okay."
00:15:23
>> And he put it back. Oh, no. He didn't put it back. He threw it down on the
00:15:26
table. >> Yeah. >> And then made me repack my bag right there. But outside of that, Mexico was
00:15:31
amazing. >> I bet. >> Loved it. >> I love it. >> I love Mexico.
00:15:34
>> Let's move there. No, >> I did have a fun time down there. My
00:15:37
buddy got stung by a stingray. >> It was kind of crazy. We're walking out.
00:15:43
>> We're walking out. So Steve Rowan died. >> They were walking out and he goes, "What
00:15:47
the fuck?" And the And it's not deep. It's only like 2 feet right there. And I
00:15:51
was like, "What?" >> Yeah. >> You step on his shell and he goes, "No,
00:15:54
look." And he lifts up his foot and it's it's bleeding pretty good out of his
00:15:58
foot. >> Yeah. You don't know they hang out there. >> Well, you shuffle your feet. You're not
00:16:01
supposed to stomp. If you shuffle in the sand, that's what the locals say. >> Like in Dune.
00:16:06
>> Yeah. You can't. >> Yeah. But I have my stingray flippers. >> Yes.
00:16:10
>> You stole mine. Those are mine. >> Those are yours. Yeah. I bought two
00:16:13
stingray flippers and they're just like hanging. >> You put them in the water and they're
00:16:17
like, "What's up?" You know what I mean? >> It's kind of cool though. I was like,
00:16:20
"How's your foot feel?" He's like, "The dumbest thing I've ever said."
00:16:22
>> You got to swing the bat. >> Yeah. Sometimes you miss swing. >> Yeah. Yeah. You agreed.
00:16:26
>> I liked it. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Can I just say one thing also? And and this is the dumbest
00:16:31
thing and I never knew this. So, there's this new restaurant. It's delicious.
00:16:38
Um I forgot what it was called, but >> that good, huh? Yeah. But it was really
00:16:42
good. And so, um, my manager was like, "You got to get the lamb neck."
00:16:47
>> Lamb neck. >> Yeah. The neck of a lamb to make it clearer. >> Yeah.
00:16:54
>> And um I mean I'm I'm there with the girl that I'm seeing and we're eating.
00:16:58
Delicious. And then finally the neck comes. The neck of a lamb. >> A delicacy.
00:17:03
>> It's a delicacy. And I go, "Do they kill baby lambs?" And she goes, "What do you mean?" And I
00:17:11
go, "Well, lambs, you know, have babies, right?" Oh, yeah. And she's like, "No,
00:17:16
the lamb is the baby." >> Exactly. >> And the sheep is the >> mom.
00:17:21
>> Mom. I thought lamb was a [ __ ] >> different species. >> Just a different species. Woollier, if I
00:17:27
might say. >> Yeah. So, I didn't eat it. >> Once I got that information, I was like,
00:17:34
I'm not eating baby any >> Have you ever had ve? >> Yeah, I've heard about that.
00:17:39
>> Ve's baby cow. I know. That's why I won't eat it. >> You ever read Baby Duck?
00:17:43
>> I won't eat duck in general cuz they're too cute. >> Don't you guys love duck?
00:17:47
>> You What do you mean you guys? >> You people. >> You people in what way?
00:17:52
>> Orange. >> Oh. Oh. Oh, you mean Asians? >> Lemon duck. >> Oh, I see.
00:17:56
>> Aren't you guys like the Isn't that duck? >> Yeah. I'm not a You know, there's a
00:17:59
>> highly popular staple in Asian cultures. >> Yeah. I don't like it. It's too greasy
00:18:04
and >> it's very fatty and fatty greasy. Why is it because it's very lean, isn't it?
00:18:08
It's Why does it get so greasy? I wonder. >> Yeah, but I won't eat lamb again.
00:18:13
>> Or what about sheep? Will you eat sheep or just [ __ ] them? >> But I then I asked I Googled that.
00:18:20
>> I've never [ __ ] that. >> Okay. >> Ask Carl. >> Okay. Okay.
00:18:26
>> Please. That guy held it. Held it. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. I don't like dunk and I don't like
00:18:30
anything gamey. >> Yeah. Gamy meat is not my favorite >> like deer or bear or stuff like that. I
00:18:36
don't like it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But um I like just kind of regular meat. But
00:18:39
then it's like now it's getting even harder to eat regular meat to be honest
00:18:42
with you. >> Why? >> Um my algorithm >> I did see I did see a pig in a machine
00:18:48
where they're like >> how they kill it and like >> Yeah. >> The sound was kind of sick.
00:18:53
>> Yeah. Yeah. But the pain >> you also ordered bore Friday night and
00:18:58
made wild boar. That's not true. You made me eat it. >> That's not true. That's not even true.
00:19:02
That's not even true. That's not even true. I'll tell you what it is. Okay. It
00:19:06
had a variety of different meats inside the sausage. >> Okay. >> And wild boar happened to be a little
00:19:10
bit of >> It's a wild boar ragu. Was it a wild boar ragu with >> No. No. No. We had um Italian sausages
00:19:16
with peppers. >> Yeah. >> As appetizer. >> Delicious. >> Yeah. And the sausages had a little bit
00:19:21
of wild boar, but it had a couple of other animals in it as well. >> Sorry.
00:19:25
>> Well, you can read it on the [ __ ] menu. >> I You're right. >> Yeah. Okay.
00:19:30
>> Was this tough for you guys? This little trick? >> Sounds like >> Yeah, a little bit. I mean his
00:19:34
>> That's not true. We were >> Yeah, I know. But his tone is like like
00:19:38
for instance, I'm like looking on on stage. >> Oh, no. >> What? >> When you needed the lights on.
00:19:43
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And it takes 3 minutes to turn the lights on.
00:19:46
>> Well, I'm not like the lighting guy, so like that was hard. >> And then he's like, "You can't jump off
00:19:50
the stage." It's like, what? >> Cuz it was 4t high. >> Yeah. And I'm [ __ ] fi four 5'4.
00:19:56
>> Okay. So, it's like the measurement. >> I would have worried >> if I was 4 foot tall. That would be a
00:20:01
difficult thing. Well, it' be perfect, actually. >> Bobby, I was literally just worried
00:20:07
about you like spraining your ankle. >> Yeah. Oh, that was about care. >> Yeah, of course. Well, then why don't
00:20:12
you put something underneath to catch his fall? >> Yeah. >> Something soft and squishy if he fell.
00:20:16
>> Yeah, you fell on like a fat guy, I think. Didn't you >> Did you jump on a fat guy?
00:20:19
>> Yeah. >> Yeah, >> that's what he's there for. >> Yeah, that's what he's there for. I just
00:20:23
a skinny like a Karen Carpenter kind of a person I would never fall on. >> You don't want skinny people in the
00:20:27
front row. You want a big person in case you chunk >> in case you crowd surf.
00:20:31
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got to crowd surf. But anyway, um so that was a problem.
00:20:35
And it's just your tone in general. >> We had a good weekend, Bob. It was
00:20:39
great. >> We're doing three more this weekend. >> Yeah, we are. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So,
00:20:43
>> is the power going to his head? What's going on? >> He's He has this thing where it's like
00:20:48
cuz we've known each other for so long that he he says this out loud and to the
00:20:53
openers like I can talk to him this way because we have history. I've I I never
00:20:58
said that. >> Yeah, you do. You say that we've known each other for so long that we have such
00:21:02
a different relationship that you can talk to me in a very kind of aggressive, you know what I mean?
00:21:07
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bad friends at checkout for 15% off. Dude, I stayed at a hotel this weekend. >> Glorious. I
00:24:36
>> What's it called? >> It was Well, it's a it so I didn't even
00:24:39
This how dumb I was. There was a It's the Ritz Carlton Reserve. Like I don't even know what that is.
00:24:49
Los, I'm sending you this photo. Look at this thing. >> This uh That's exactly right.
00:24:54
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Look at that thing. >> Sorry. Go to the photo that I just sent
00:24:57
you. This was off the back of my room. >> Uhhuh. >> You can walk out. Every single night I
00:25:04
went naked into the plunge pool. Yeah. That's off the patio of my room. >> Every night butt naked.
00:25:10
>> Who are you golfing with? >> Yeah, Taylor was there. >> Golfing?
00:25:15
>> No. No. Who? No, not Taylor. But who what else names are you golfing with?
00:25:20
>> No. I mean, nobody you I mean there's What do you mean? Just >> there's no celebrities.
00:25:24
>> Just guys. I know. But what guy? What guys? >> I mean like guys. Golf guys.
00:25:30
>> Oh, so no celebrities. >> No. >> Okay. >> No, these are just like guys at the golf
00:25:34
course. >> Just regular guys. >> Well, >> just regular guys at the golf course.
00:25:37
>> The guys who stay at the [ __ ] hole. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Regular
00:25:41
guys just staying at the rits on the ocean. >> Well, they're only staying there till
00:25:44
their houses get built. >> Oh. I also learned that Porto Viarta, which we were north of, but I learned
00:25:51
that that's like the West Hollywood of the Mexican coast. >> Whoa. >> It's like gay.
00:25:56
>> Huge gay. It's like It's like downtown. >> Carlos, write that down.
00:26:00
>> Yeah. Ace, we need to go back. >> Yeah. Well, get Carlos there. >> It was It was It, you know,
00:26:07
>> I guess it's as big. I was talking to a guy down there, one of the guys that
00:26:10
works at the resort who >> he was awesome, but he was like, "Oh, yeah, that's where Cuz I was like, "Hey,
00:26:15
you're living and staying here. What do you do as a American gay male?" He's
00:26:20
like, "Down Porto Viarda is West Hollywood." I was like, "Wow, really?"
00:26:24
He's like, "Oh, it's [ __ ] >> Look at that. >> The gay scene there is incredible."
00:26:27
>> That was my buddy on the left. >> Are you being real? >> No.
00:26:32
>> Yeah. Wow. >> But apparently the scene is massive. >> It's a cool scene, dude. So, I left a
00:26:38
couple parties early to go check it out. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Well, there's probably a gay area
00:26:42
everywhere. >> Nope. Not in Russia. >> There. No, there's a gay area in Russia.
00:26:48
There's nothing. >> No, there's not. You know nothing about Russia. They leave if they're gay.
00:26:51
They'll kill you. >> Not in Iran. >> Yeah. >> There's a gay area.
00:26:55
>> No. >> Oh, >> these are all the places without gay neighborhoods.
00:26:58
>> Afghanistan, Iran, Yemen, Somalia, Qatar, Nigeria. Yeah, it's illegal in
00:27:03
these places. >> Well, in Nigeria, they'll kill you. It's against the law. Almost all these places
00:27:06
it's illegal. >> It's against the law. Wow. >> You can't be gay in public.
00:27:09
>> Yeah. Is there a mystery though? If you're a gay in Iran, for instance,
00:27:13
right? Let me just >> There are no there's no gay neighborhoods cuz they're gay people.
00:27:20
>> Huh? >> I mean, even though there's no gay area, there's gay people.
00:27:23
>> They get converted there and it works in there in those countries. >> Oh, they What do you mean? What do you
00:27:29
mean? You mean cuz they know they're going to die. So that that's what >> Yeah. Do I think there's a gay
00:27:35
neighborhood everywhere? Yeah, but a lot of it has to be quiet. So, right, it said St. Petersburg has a quiet scene,
00:27:40
but I'm sure they can't be loud about it. >> It's like I'm a gay.
00:27:45
>> Yeah. Or like behind a tree. >> That's like the park. That's where the
00:27:50
park started. >> Yeah. Yeah. There's got to be like a a inner workings of where they meet.
00:27:56
>> Well, yeah. They probably meet up in in like in like um speak easys. You know
00:28:00
what I mean? Where >> Yeah. Like a speak easy. Like an old gay speak easy.
00:28:03
>> There you go. Tvera street and nondescript industrial areas. See, they got to hide away.
00:28:07
>> Oh, the three monkeys club. >> Yeah. Yeah, we've been there. >> Yeah.
00:28:10
>> Yeah. Yeah. There were only two monkeys when we went though. >> And look what it says. Various pop-up
00:28:14
parties. So they they got to come and go because Hey, >> pause. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But there's probably
00:28:21
an excitement about it, >> right? It makes it sexy again. >> Don't you think?
00:28:25
>> I know what you're saying. It's kind of like when illegal >> where it's like it's like there's a
00:28:30
danger aspect to it. >> Yeah. It's like you knock on a door like a guy. You need a password or something
00:28:35
to Yeah. You know nothing about this, right? >> Yeah. Yeah. Any So, all right. So, I
00:28:40
didn't know I learned something new. >> Not every country has a gay area.
00:28:44
>> I I'm sure every country has gay people. They But some of them have to be
00:28:48
>> secret. >> Yeah. Yeah. Wow. >> Over here. You want to see me?
00:28:55
>> Yeah. Cuz I remember like when I was growing up, I guess in Korea back in the
00:28:59
day, because my parents would tell me >> it was illegal, no gay, >> right?
00:29:04
>> Not one gay there. You know what I mean? And now there are gays. >> Yeah.
00:29:07
>> You know what I mean? So it's like what happened? >> They were always there.
00:29:10
>> Yeah. Yeah. Or maybe this one day was, you know, I mean, the gay Korean Jesus
00:29:14
was born and it converted. I don't know. >> Gay Korean. >> Gay Korean.
00:29:19
>> Yeah. Yeah. Maybe there was a conversion of some sort. >> Homo Hill.
00:29:23
>> Is that what it's called? soul. >> No, >> go back to that
00:29:26
>> in Korea. Wait, >> uh Itwan, specifically the area known as Homo Hill.
00:29:30
>> It's called Homo Hill. Wow. Really good. >> Homo Hill sounds rad.
00:29:36
>> Rad. I would go to Homo Hill. >> Anyway, I love Mexico, though. I really
00:29:40
do. And you know why? The food phenomenal. The people the most fun. The most fun.
00:29:48
>> I bet >> you can just goof with them. They don't They don't take it so serious. It's like
00:29:52
an escape. Yep. >> If I felt like it was on a little baby escape and the seafood,
00:29:56
>> holy [ __ ] >> my procedures next week. >> Oh, yeah. Let's announce to the world.
00:30:00
This is going to be tracked and and >> studied. >> Studied. >> Yeah.
00:30:04
>> So, Carlos is going into Bosley. They're going to give him a full hair
00:30:08
restoration. >> Yeah. >> Now, did they say how many times they got to do it and all that stuff?
00:30:12
>> We're going to do it once this year and then potentially in a year they're going
00:30:15
to retouch. >> How long is it going to take? >> Probably eight months or so.
00:30:19
>> Eight months of surgery. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Oh, the surgery. You're going to be
00:30:21
under for 8 months, huh? >> No. McCon will be there filming all uh 12 hours.
00:30:26
>> Now, let me ask you something. Because you're so bald, is that why you have to
00:30:29
go twice? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. It's an extreme operation.
00:30:32
>> It's so extreme. >> That's a heavy lift. >> It's going to look like uh Toy Story 5.
00:30:37
You saw uh booty. >> Oh, did that come out right? >> No, but Woody's bald.
00:30:45
>> Yeah. >> And Yeah. This is So, I'll have a bald spot in the back.
00:30:48
>> Wow. Yes. >> Was Tom Hanks pissed about this? >> No. >> Yeah.
00:30:52
>> Isn't that funny that they did that? Why do they make him bald? And cuz he's
00:30:55
getting older, >> right? >> But he's a toy. >> It's like I'm going into surgery to look
00:30:59
like this. >> Oh, Carlos, when you took your hat off in front of them, did they go?
00:31:05
>> No. I They were professionals about it. It wasn't like cuz I would have I would
00:31:09
have been Well, oh, [ __ ] That's a lot of work. >> Take your hat off. I'm the doctor. Take
00:31:13
your hat off. I'll be the doctor seeing him. >> Yeah. >> All right. So, we think we're going to
00:31:16
be able to do a really good job, don't you think? Oh, I think so. Dr. Smithmore.
00:31:19
>> Well, well, Dr. Wagami, I think that we are going to do great. >> Oh, we're the best in Beverly Hills
00:31:24
>> by far. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Well, let's see what we've got.
00:31:26
>> Let's see what your client Yeah, CARLOS. >> OH MY [ __ ] >> GOD DARN IT.
00:31:32
>> We'll be able to fix that. >> Yeah, probably. >> You got to come in 20 times in three
00:31:37
years. I That's a lot. >> I know. And then >> I think they're going to be able to do
00:31:42
it. >> Did they take the hair from where to put it there? >> Your ass. The back.
00:31:46
>> Oh, I thought it was your ass. Yeah. It's called an FUEE. >> Yeah. It's your back of your head.
00:31:50
>> Mhm. >> If you want it curly, why can't you use your pubic region?
00:31:53
>> You could. >> Yeah. I would do that in the front. Pubic. >> What do you think?
00:31:58
>> Yeah. I I >> You actually g. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Felicular unit extraction. FUE.
00:32:04
>> Yeah. That's going to be >> Wow. >> Are you excited? >> Well, everyone already knows I look like
00:32:10
this, but it'll be nice to like not wear a hat everywhere. >> It can be a thing with like dating or
00:32:15
something. It could be like embarrassing. >> Oh yeah. >> Why don't you do the Bruce Willis? Just
00:32:20
shave it all off. >> No, I'm going to do the younger Bruce Willis and get the surgery.
00:32:24
>> Okay. But what why didn't you do that before though to just be bald?
00:32:27
>> I did for like eight years and I just didn't feel like me. >> Oh,
00:32:32
>> like shaved head felt like >> You have an eggshaped head. >> No, I have a nice shaved head.
00:32:37
>> Okay. >> Yeah. It's not egg. >> I mean, >> it's like, you know, it's like the moon
00:32:41
or something. >> That's not this way. It's this way. It's longer. Well, whatever a head is.
00:32:46
>> Uh, the moon is circular. See that photo right there? >> Yeah, I see it.
00:32:50
>> Yeah, that's the moon. >> I think I have a nice head. >> Andrew.
00:32:58
>> Yeah. >> Would you think he has a nice head? >> It looks like Yeah. I mean,
00:33:02
>> if he shaved his sides and stuff, you think you don't think it's like kind of
00:33:04
>> Well, we're going to see. He has to shave the sides. >> Yeah. It's going to look crazy next week
00:33:08
when I do. >> I think it's egg sh but but that's my bad. >> No, it's okay. Okay.
00:33:12
>> What kind of egg? Ostrich. >> Ostrich. Yeah. Yeah. >> That's the comedy one to say.
00:33:19
>> Is that the comedy one? >> See, already, dude. This is what I'm
00:33:24
getting on the road, by the way. A little taste. >> I'm going to get I I do think I'll be a
00:33:30
little more confident. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. >> Yeah. >> Really?
00:33:34
>> Just a little bit. >> You're quite confident. >> Yes. >> He says stuff like, "Oh, that joke
00:33:38
didn't land." Or like for a dinner and stuff like that. You know what I mean?
00:33:41
>> Crazy. >> You really put him down like that. >> Yeah. He'll go, "Haha."
00:33:44
>> Oh, wow. >> Yeah. Yeah. He'll do Rogan. >> Yeah. I mean,
00:33:48
>> yeah. Yap yap yap yap. >> Your shows are in the middle of the playoffs, so it's like I have other
00:33:52
things to do, too. >> Basketball. >> Yeah. >> Basketball. >> Yeah. Yeah. Rogan does that laugh. He
00:33:56
goes, "Ah, >> yeah." >> He doesn't like it. >> Or he'll go, "Haha."
00:34:00
>> O. >> Oh, twice. He's on it. >> Ouch. I >> Well, it wasn't funny.
00:34:06
>> Yeah, but haha is like >> I know, but if I said something that wasn't funny, what would your response
00:34:10
be? >> You do that all the time here. I I know. I know. I do. >> Yeah, but we have fun with it.
00:34:15
>> I know. >> You have to laugh through it. >> Yeah. >> Say something.
00:34:19
>> All right. That's why the egg roll reach for the sky. >> That's you would do.
00:34:25
>> It's fun. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. You give you a little taste.
00:34:27
>> Yeah. You do something. >> Uh >> I'm going to see if I can organic
00:34:31
respond. >> Well, and when she jumped, she didn't die. She bounced off the earth.
00:34:39
>> Right. >> Yeah. I bought it. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I mean, the crowd would buy it.
00:34:42
>> All right. Okay. Now try this is the Rogan way. Do it. >> Okay. That's why leprosy is a condom.
00:34:49
>> It hurts. >> Yeah, it hurts. >> That hurts. It hurts. >> It'll hit you. You're like, "Fuck, man.
00:34:53
Sorry. What are you doing?" >> Well, that's why cheesecake tastes
00:34:57
better on the moon. >> Haha. >> Wow. Ow. Ow. >> That hurts. >> That hurts, right?
00:35:04
>> It's like a >> Yeah, >> you suck. It says you suck. Haha. You
00:35:09
suck. >> Yeah, you suck. or you just edit it out like like when I have guests on the
00:35:15
other thing that I do. >> Um >> sometimes they'll say something that's
00:35:19
not funny, >> but I'll laugh >> because it's just I don't want them to
00:35:23
feel bad. >> Are you polite? Yeah. >> Do you do that? >> I do it on this show every
00:35:28
>> SO YOU THINK THAT half of the things I say isn't that's not funny.
00:35:32
>> More than half. >> So most of the things I say aren't funny. >> 85 8515.
00:35:37
>> Really? >> No. You're so You're the funniest person I [ __ ] know.
00:35:40
>> All right. So then it's like >> I laugh at you because we're having the
00:35:43
most fun I've ever had. >> But as a guest though, you you do pretend. >> Oh. Oh, with guests. No. Well, you just
00:35:47
you give them some space with it. Like you like you go you go, "Oh, yeah." Like
00:35:50
you just feed into it >> until they hit the note. >> Hey, come sit down.
00:35:57
>> Shut up. Shut up. >> Shut the [ __ ] up. >> Shut your [ __ ] mouth.
00:36:01
>> Justin Bieber, everybody. Justin Bieber. >> We got him. >> So Bieber, you're you're a you're a
00:36:06
Bieber fanatic? >> Yeah. >> I love Bieber. You like Bieber? Oh, >> love.
00:36:14
>> Love. >> Love. It's like uh >> beyond love like how I I have with the
00:36:20
Lord. >> Yeah. With the Lord. >> With the Lord. Are you religious? >> He's a huge Lordy.
00:36:24
>> I'm a Lord. I'm a Lordy. >> I love that. It's beautiful.
00:36:26
>> Big Lord guy. >> I also believe in Satan. So, it's like a conflict. I feel like you can't
00:36:31
>> I'm conflicted. You know what I mean? >> Don't you have to believe in both?
00:36:35
>> That's true. That is true. >> That you actually do have to believe.
00:36:38
>> Yeah, you do have to believe in both. Yeah. No, we I like I I think he's a
00:36:41
talented >> talented kid. >> But I I I don't think I'm jamming to the
00:36:44
music, but I do. >> What do you listen to? >> The Clash. >> Yeah.
00:36:48
>> Oh, have you heard of them? >> Yes. Yes. >> They're great.
00:36:55
>> They're great. Yeah. >> What do I like right now? Um, you know
00:36:58
who I just started listening to? I just Turn. >> I found this girl. >> Okay.
00:37:02
>> Turnstyle is great apparently. >> Yeah, they are good. Yeah. >> Yeah.
00:37:04
>> I found this girl. I love her voice. >> Is it Bella Kay? Her name is Freya
00:37:09
Ridings. Oh, I love her. Freya is great. Grateful is so good. Deep silky voice. Yeah, she's beautiful. You guys listen
00:37:15
to the same type of music. >> Well, we're old. >> We're old.
00:37:18
>> How old are you? >> Old? >> I will guess. This is fun. >> Uh, is it
00:37:21
>> guess? >> Yeah. >> 42. >> No. >> Older? >> Yeah.
00:37:24
>> You're lying. >> I'm not lying. You can Google it. >> 48.
00:37:28
>> Older. >> 50. >> Older. >> 54. >> YES. >> SHUT UP.
00:37:33
>> I AM. >> WHAT'S that like? Everything caks. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. See, this hurts. See this
00:37:42
right here? >> Yeah. >> This hurts real bad. >> I can Well, my neck hurts too these
00:37:45
days. >> Why? >> How old are you? >> Guess. >> Oh, fine.
00:37:49
>> 27. >> Oh, 26. >> How old are you? >> Guess. >> Guess. Here we go.
00:37:58
>> 46. >> Yeah. >> Up. >> 42. You get Botox? >> No. Look at my [ __ ] face.
00:38:09
>> Yeah. >> Looks like you have Botox. >> You mean I need Botox?
00:38:12
>> No. It looks like you have a little looks like he got attacked by a bear.
00:38:15
>> Yeah. >> Like the Revenant. >> Like >> it looks like I got I've been [ __ ] up
00:38:22
in the woods. >> Did Leo win for The Revenant? >> Yeah. Yeah, he did. Great movie, right?
00:38:26
>> I never I never saw it. I just remembered the Oscars campaign that he never won.
00:38:31
>> Why didn't you see it? It wasn't like my type of movie. >> You don't like bears?
00:38:35
>> No, I don't love bears. >> Musketss. How about musketss? >> What's a musket?
00:38:39
>> It's a type of gun. >> Oh, >> yeah. >> You don't like bears? Do you like cubs?
00:38:43
>> Cubs sound cuter. >> Yeah. >> Are you an animal person? >> Yeah, I like dogs.
00:38:48
>> Oh, good. Yeah. >> I think I'm like getting there with cats. >> I know.
00:38:53
>> You don't need to. >> I know. I don't need to. >> Yeah. I literally have a kitten right
00:38:56
now in my house. >> I told you I wasn't there with cats yet. >> Yeah, he didn't. He just told you he
00:39:00
wasn't there. I know, but I'm just trying to find a home for this kitten.
00:39:02
>> Oh, >> yeah. Yeah. It's like this small. It's so cute. >> Can't.
00:39:06
>> Why? >> Dogs. >> Okay. >> Yeah. All right. >> I'm a dog. Yeah.
00:39:10
>> Yeah. >> You have a dog? >> No. >> What? >> Why?
00:39:13
>> No, I have nothing. >> You have nothing. >> Nothing. >> You have a building that you live in,
00:39:17
though. >> I have a home. Yes, good. >> I have a home. I need to take off my
00:39:20
hoodie. It's hot in here. >> This is why This is why we do it. >> Yeah.
00:39:25
>> Yeah. >> There we go. Take your ribs. >> There we go. >> Stop it.
00:39:30
Yeah. >> How How tall are you? >> Guess 5'2. >> Three. >> 53. 52. You [ __ ]
00:39:36
>> I'm 5'4. I'm taller than you are. >> 53. >> Stand up.
00:39:42
>> Yeah. Go back to Go butt to butt. >> Go butt to butt. >> Butt to butt. That's the only way to
00:39:45
really know. >> I'm 5'3. >> I'm 5'4. >> Barely. Take off your hat.
00:39:51
>> Oh, yeah. >> Oh, wow. >> Oh, no. Bobby, if you're 5'4, then Jake,
00:39:54
you're 5'2. >> No, I'm not. >> It's two inches of difference for sure.
00:39:59
If I'm 52, like I'll kill myself. >> Don't do that. >> Don't do it here. Don't do it here.
00:40:03
>> Don't do it here. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> I I will. I'll
00:40:05
>> Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you're you're 5'3. >> Yeah. I'm 5 I'm 5'7 then.
00:40:09
>> Yeah. You're >> What are you 5'9? >> 61. >> Stand up.
00:40:16
>> Okay. >> Okay. I take Okay. You're fine. >> You sit small.
00:40:22
>> All right. You sit You do sit small. You sit small. >> Well, I'm sitting at a desk.
00:40:26
>> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> People say that. They go, "Oh, you I
00:40:29
thought you were shorter, but were I'm sitting down on camera." >> You know what's interesting about this?
00:40:33
Can I just say something about torso and legs? >> Maybe you could back me up on it.
00:40:37
>> Okay. >> So, the girl that I'm seeing right now is 5'9"
00:40:40
>> and her legs are 5 feet. >> What I'm saying is is that even though
00:40:45
I'm 5'4, it works because the fact that like she has a smaller torso. >> Wait, I'm sorry. I didn't listen. What
00:40:53
was that? >> Hims. Oh my god. him. I love Hims because um you know I've used Hims. It's
00:40:59
made my hair thicker so I don't have to go through what Carlos went through.
00:41:02
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00:41:09
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00:41:14
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00:41:19
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00:41:23
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00:41:27
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00:41:50
or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required. See website for full details, restrictions,
00:41:54
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00:41:59
and finasteride. >> Shopify. You know, we have a online business here at Bad Friends, and we use
00:42:04
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00:42:33
What I love about Shopify is talk about the purple button. The iconic purple button.
00:42:38
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00:43:13
shopify.com/badfriends. All right. So, what I'm saying is that I'm 5'4, she's 5'9,
00:43:20
>> but it works cuz she has a smaller torso. >> Her torso is smaller, so her legs are
00:43:24
longer. So, it works when you're having you you're making out and stuff.
00:43:28
>> He doesn't understand that. That doesn't really matter. >> That doesn't really make sense. She's
00:43:32
still taller than you now. >> I understand that, but you would think that.
00:43:35
>> No, you wouldn't think because your penis isn't at your feet. >> You don't be You're not standing up
00:43:40
kissing and [ __ ] You're laying down. So you're slid up. So your little feet
00:43:44
are at her knees. >> I know. >> Okay. So, >> but I'm not like going, "LOOK AT ME."
00:43:50
You know what I mean? >> You Yeah, you kind of are. >> No, I don't look at my little feet by
00:43:54
her knees going, "Look at Look at my little feet." >> She sees them.
00:43:58
>> She stays. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, >> she does. Yeah, >> she stays.
00:44:01
>> Yeah, she stays. Are you single? >> I am. Good for you. >> What are you looking for?
00:44:05
>> I don't know. I always said I wanted a boyfriend, but I don't I think I'm too
00:44:08
selfish at the moment. >> You're gay? A little >> 100%. >> Uh, yeah. Okay.
00:44:14
>> Have you ever heard of Homo Hill? >> No. What's that? >> It's the gay neighborhood. We just
00:44:18
looked it up. >> Homo Hill. >> Homo Hill is the gay neighborhood in Russia. Russia.
00:44:22
>> In Korea. >> Korea. >> I want to go to Soul so badly. Yeah. Go
00:44:26
to Homo Hill. You know, my best friend's in Soul right now. >> Homo Hill is supposed to be I This got
00:44:30
brought up because I said I was just in Mexico and a friend of mine said uh Porttoarta is like the West Hollywood of
00:44:37
>> Oh my god. >> You been? I've heard everyone's [ __ ] on the beach.
00:44:42
>> See, it is true. Yeah, it's true. Everyone goes to PV and like that's what
00:44:45
I've heard >> because a buddy of mine I said, "Well, where do you go out? Like where are you
00:44:48
gonna where you meeting people?" Cuz it was >> on the beach. >> And he goes, "No, no, I meant we were
00:44:52
far away from PV." And I said, "Where do you go out to meet dudes then?" And he
00:44:55
goes, "Oh, dude, you go down to PV. This is heaven on earth." >> Yeah. Look at that.
00:45:00
>> I know. >> Why have you been? >> Why have I not been? >> Yeah. Yeah.
00:45:04
>> I don't know if that's my type of gay scene. >> What is your type? Okay. What's your
00:45:08
scene? >> My scene? Yeah. >> Um I don't know if I found that yet.
00:45:13
>> Really? >> Really? >> Do you What What What's a night out for
00:45:16
you on a Saturday night? >> Oh, a night out. Okay. Am I in New York or LA?
00:45:20
>> Well, you live here now, right? >> Well, I live in both. >> So, wait, what do you do on a Saturday
00:45:24
night in LA? >> In LA? I'll go to dinner. >> What time is it? I have to know the
00:45:29
specific specifically, right? >> You know what? I actually don't love to
00:45:32
Well, no. I'll do like an 8:00 p.m. dinner. Then >> I'm your roommate.
00:45:36
>> You're my roommate? >> Yeah. So, what are you going to do tonight?
00:45:38
>> I think I have dinner with some friends at 8. And >> where are you going to go?
00:45:43
>> I don't know. We don't really know yet. Maybe like Well, we can't decide if we
00:45:48
want to get dinner at living room and then continue going out. >> I love living room.
00:45:51
>> Yeah, it's Oh my god. >> It's fun. It's fun. Especially when it's
00:45:54
warm. >> The asparagus there. >> This is offending me for some reason.
00:45:57
>> What? >> I'm not even gay. I'm getting annoyed. >> Have you met my friend Raul? No.
00:46:02
>> Hello. He He's from Spain. >> I'm from Spain. Oh, you are? Yeah, he
00:46:10
>> Oh, where in Spain? >> None of your business. >> Yeah. Yeah. Barcelona.
00:46:14
>> Are you the police? >> Yeah. Barcelona. >> Barcelona. >> Oh, I love Barcelona. I went there once
00:46:18
with my mom. We >> Oh, really? Where do you stay? >> Where did I stay? You know, I don't
00:46:21
remember, but I remember I remember loving it. >> Yeah. He loves it there. And he's from
00:46:26
there as well. >> Oh, you mentioned that part. >> What? Anyway, Raul's from out of town.
00:46:32
He's from Spain. Uh Jake's going to the living room. Remember I told you about
00:46:36
the We love it. Yeah, it's fun there. It's fun. Dinner and then >> then what after we do for after
00:46:41
>> after? Well, I'll probably go to bed at like 2 if I'm in LA. I'll go probably go
00:46:45
to bed at like 2:00 at >> Oh, no. That's when >> Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:46:49
>> Yeah, the after party. I don't like an after I don't like an after after party.
00:46:53
I Nothing good happens. >> Well, we're bringing it back to the apartment. So, bad bad luck on you.
00:46:57
>> I know. >> You don't want to come over? >> You know, maybe not tonight.
00:47:01
>> We're going to do poppers. >> Poppers? Oh, I do. I love poppers.
00:47:05
>> Yeah. All right. >> Carlos is excited. >> Carlos loves poppers. LA is tame. New
00:47:11
York. Is this where you go off? >> Yes. I New York I I like can't like I
00:47:16
when I really commit to a night in New York, I'll it'll ruin me for weeks.
00:47:22
>> Tell me why. >> Are you a big drinker? >> Big drinker. >> No drugs, though.
00:47:25
>> No. >> Yes. Drugs? >> Yes. Drugs? >> No. >> Yeah. We're lie detector tests.
00:47:29
>> No. >> Yeah, we can smell it. >> We can smell it. The way you just said
00:47:32
that. What kind of drugs do you do? >> Methane. Move on. >> Okay. Oh, so I'll just tell you the
00:47:37
drugs I've done. >> Okay, go. >> All right. Meth. >> No, you haven't.
00:47:40
>> Oh, 100%. Have I not done math? >> He's a recovered addict. Recovering.
00:47:45
>> You set me up for that one. Are you really a recovered addict? Meth. >> No. No. All I'm a garbage head.
00:47:50
>> What is that? >> A garbage head? I'll just do anything. >> He would take anything.
00:47:53
>> Yeah. Yeah. >> Are you lying? >> No. No. Why would I lie? >> I don't know. I don't know. He just
00:47:57
pretended to be Raul. >> What does that say? >> This is Bobby Lee kicking the habit.
00:48:00
This is Oh, good for you. Yeah. Yeah. Four years. >> Well, this was to 2022.
00:48:04
>> I relapsed >> and then we had a relapse. So, this is kind of null and void, but
00:48:07
>> Yeah. Yeah. >> I'm glad we made a trophy out of it. >> Yeah. We got a trophy out of it.
00:48:11
>> Wow. It's actually really refreshing the way you >> So, I've done So, I've done meth. I've
00:48:15
done um >> crack. >> Crack. >> What's crack like? >> It just feels euphoric and very good.
00:48:20
>> You said to me one time, you love the way crack smells. >> It's I like the way it smells.
00:48:24
>> What does it smell like? >> Like poo. What kind of What kind of crack are you talking about?
00:48:28
>> Crack. You said you like crack the way it >> Oh, the drug. >> Yes.
00:48:31
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah. >> He's done crack. Meth. Never hero. >> I didn't know what you're talking about.
00:48:38
The drug. >> I've never done Never heroin. >> No heroin. >> No heroin. No.
00:48:42
>> Yeah. That's a hard one. >> Yeah, that's a hard one. Yeah. I've done
00:48:44
Molly. >> Well, of course. >> Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Um I've done
00:48:49
weed, acid, mushroom. You know, I mean psychedelics. >> Acid scares me. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:48:53
>> So, now what have you done? All right. Let's move on. Let's move on.
00:49:00
>> Okay. >> But you Can we do this though? You have done other things other than alcohol.
00:49:04
>> Yeah, of course. >> Okay. Well, then let's just move on. >> 26.
00:49:06
>> Yeah. He's 26. >> He's 26. Yeah. Yeah. >> A young man. Where are you from? You're
00:49:09
born in New York. >> Yeah. From Well, born in LA, raised in New York. >> Where are you guys from?
00:49:13
>> Chicago. >> San Diego. >> Okay. My brother's getting married in
00:49:16
San Diego. >> Oh, it's a beautiful city. >> It's gorge. >> One of the be It's gorge.
00:49:19
>> Gorge. >> Born in LA. You were born you high school kid. >> No, I was born in LA. I moved to New
00:49:24
York when I was two. Oh, so you New York? >> I'm a New York kid. >> Oh, you're a New York kid.
00:49:27
>> Yeah. >> Are you a man a Manhattan kid? >> Yeah. >> Yeah.
00:49:31
>> Wow. >> What does that mean? >> He was born in He was raised in the
00:49:34
city. >> Oh, I It wasn't as exciting as you would think. >> I just like New York so much. I don't
00:49:39
even know the burrows. >> It's Brooklyn. >> Yeah. I don't even want to know.
00:49:43
>> No, no, no. Don't even tell me. >> Let him guess. >> Okay. Guess. There's five, right?
00:49:47
There's five. Am I Why are you doing this? >> You don't think I can do it?
00:49:51
>> Yeah. Go. >> Queens. >> Yeah. >> Brooklyn. I just said that doesn't
00:49:54
count. >> Yeah, but there's five. So that's one of the five. >> Oh, there's no D on the end of Brooklyn.
00:49:59
>> Manhattan. >> Yes. >> Okay. Uh, >> give me the >> No, you're kidding, right?
00:50:07
>> I swear to God. Give me one letter from the >> B. >> The Buroughs.
00:50:12
>> The Bronx. >> Oh, no. What? What? Bronx. >> The Bronx. >> Yeah. And give me the last letter.
00:50:16
>> H. >> Harlem. >> Yeah, there you go. >> I'm so sorry.
00:50:19
>> Are you Are you well? Harlem is not a burrow. Harlem. It's a neighborhood that
00:50:25
Harlem's in Manhattan. >> Staten Island. Yes, >> that's a burrow.
00:50:28
>> That's the one, I think. >> Yeah. Well, then don't say it like you
00:50:31
know. >> It is like that. >> Yeah, it is like that. Okay. >> Yeah.
00:50:35
>> Okay. >> Yeah. >> Brooklyn, Manhattan, Queen Satan, the Bronx.
00:50:39
>> When I saw Gangs in New York, I had no idea what was going on. >> Oh, I watched that movie. So good. Is
00:50:44
that about the Five Corners? >> Yeah. >> You never seen that movie? >> No.
00:50:49
>> I feel like you've never seen any movie. >> Name a movie. Oh, really? Yeah. Let's
00:50:52
go. Okay, let's go. You know what? We're gonna >> One flew over the cuckoo's nest.
00:50:55
>> Never. >> Forest Gump, >> of course. >> Why, of course.
00:50:58
>> Cuz I feel like everyone >> Shashang Grenen. >> No. Top Gun, the original.
00:51:02
>> No. >> Oh. Um. Um. >> Top Gun the new one. >> Yes. >> Yeah.
00:51:06
>> Good Fellas. >> Yes. I love Good Fellas. >> Oh, you do? >> I watched it when I had co I was in my
00:51:12
>> It's a good co movie. >> I was in my like I was in my like mob
00:51:15
era. I was like obsessed with mobs. >> Oh, so Godfather you seen? >> Yeah. I don't really I can't
00:51:21
Why? >> It's just like really like I don't I don't What do What do you mean?
00:51:26
>> I could I didn't know what was going on and then I started part two and I fell
00:51:28
asleep. >> Casino? >> No. >> Wow. >> Which mob movies did you
00:51:33
>> Yeah, Casino is one of the best mob movies of all time. >> Just Good Fellas.
00:51:37
>> I think if you That's the That's pretty much the >> I loved I loved Good Fellas. I thought I
00:51:43
I thought it was I thought it was very well done. >> It is well done. It's one of his best
00:51:47
movies. I think >> Turns out it Yeah, everybody agreed. That's good. Let's go a more Evergreen.
00:51:51
Brave Heart where you said um you never saw that. Um ET >> Yeah, I've seen ET.
00:51:55
>> Yeah. What is it about? >> It's about an alien that like >> Yeah.
00:51:59
>> hangs out with all the kids and >> Yeah. Yeah. How about Did you see the
00:52:03
new movie Project Hail Mary that we >> I did. I did see that. And I did it. I
00:52:07
cried. >> How many times? >> Like twice. >> Yeah. Twice right there. Three times
00:52:12
each year. SEE THAT GUY IN THE MIDDLE? Didn't cry one time. >> What? Once.
00:52:17
>> He didn't cry at all. >> When's your birthday? June. Are you
00:52:20
Gemini? >> Gemini don't cry. Dissect him. You evil [ __ ] >> Yes.
00:52:25
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yes. >> Jake, dissect him. >> What do you think about these Geminis?
00:52:29
What What is Tell me about them. >> I am a Gemini rising and a Gemini mood.
00:52:32
So, I know a lot about Geminis. >> Okay. >> They're very two-sided. They have two
00:52:37
sides to them. >> Oh, >> but >> yeah. Yeah. >> Two sided. Two sided.
00:52:40
>> So, like you're you can lie. >> Oh, he's a liar. >> And he's a So, he's a piece of [ __ ]
00:52:45
piece of [ __ ] >> I don't know if you're a piece of [ __ ] But you definitely go to bed at night
00:52:48
and you look at the you look at the ceiling and you just don't know who you are.
00:52:52
>> Oh, confused >> about who you are. >> Okay. Do all of us. That's you. Great.
00:52:56
Um I'm a um Libra. >> Oh, you just want the peace. >> I WANT THE PEACE.
00:53:01
>> SO NOT TRUE. >> HE'S A MAN OF WAR. >> WELL, THEN I NEED What are What's your
00:53:07
sign? >> Mine? Yeah. >> Virgo. >> Oh, so you you're Panda?
00:53:11
>> Yeah. That No. >> No. No. No. That's Panda. What the [ __ ] >> Panda.
00:53:14
>> Yeah. No, not Panda. That's not your sign. >> No, no, that's not my sign, dude.
00:53:17
>> Oh, it's a koi. Koi. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> You're You're You like control.
00:53:22
>> And I can tell you've been cut that, cut that, cut that, cut that. You You like
00:53:26
control. >> Yeah. I'm doctor control. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah.
00:53:30
>> You went to med school. >> You went to med school? >> Yeah. With Trump.
00:53:34
>> No, you didn't. >> We're both doctors. >> No, you didn't.
00:53:37
>> You saw the photo, dude. Okay. We're both doctors. >> What is Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:53:41
>> So, you went to Are you lying to me? You went to medical school with Trump.
00:53:45
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> And you're also a recovering drug addict.
00:53:48
>> That's true. That is true. >> That part's very true. >> Like in the movie.
00:53:50
>> So the first part's fake. >> Yes. >> Oh, you good. >> Wait, wait, wait. Fake
00:53:54
>> the Trump. >> The med school of Trump. >> Yeah. I didn't go to med school.
00:53:57
>> What? I don't know. >> Do you think I'm Dr. Ken Jung? >> No, I'm just saying.
00:54:04
>> You think I was in the hangover? >> No, I did. No, I'm just >> No, you're lower. This is a lower
00:54:08
entertainment. >> Yeah. You're on You're on the You're in the basement right now.
00:54:11
>> Yeah, you're in the basement. >> All right. So, dissect the the Spaniard
00:54:14
right there. What? He's uh What are you? You're a >> Aries. >> Aries.
00:54:18
>> Oh, Aries, you're nasty. >> You [ __ ] nasty piece of [ __ ] >> Aries men are so rude.
00:54:25
>> Well, who who are you most attracted to? What sign of man? >> Uh Louise, do you think I have a
00:54:31
specific sign that I'm attracted to? >> Maybe like a Sagge? >> Yeah, I love a Sagge or a Virgo. I love
00:54:38
a Virgo. >> Thank you. >> Yeah, you're welcome. >> Sagge. Yeah. Yeah.
00:54:42
>> Sagittarius. >> What is that? What month is that? >> Uh, it's uh late or it's November,
00:54:47
December. >> In the Chinese thing, what year are you? >> Um, I think I'm year of the rabbit.
00:54:52
>> Yeah, I can tell. >> You do have rabbit energy. >> Yeah, you hop like a [ __ ]
00:54:56
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah, I can feel. >> What? What are you guys?
00:54:58
>> I'm pig. >> You're pig? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> What am I? I have no idea.
00:55:02
>> You're my What year? >> 83. >> 83. Let me guess. Let me guess.
00:55:06
>> Snake. >> I see that. pig. No wonder you guys get along. >> We're both pigs, dude.
00:55:14
>> YES, YOU ARE. >> YEAH, DUDE. OINK, OINK, DUDE. >> WAIT, that's so cool. I don't even know
00:55:19
anything about that. >> The year of the pig, dude. >> What does it mean? The pig is the pig.
00:55:23
>> The pig is the last animal in the Chinese zodiac. People born in the year
00:55:25
of the pig are innocent and enjoy happiness. They're laidback. >> SO INNOCENT TO ME.
00:55:29
>> They're laidback, caring, considerate, kind. It makes them the best friends to
00:55:32
have. >> Dude, we are the best. >> Dude, we're the We're BOTH
00:55:37
the rabbit. What is the rabbit? >> What is rabbit? Let me see. Wait, put 1999 though, just to make sure I'm not
00:55:42
wrong. >> You were born in 99. >> 99. Here we go. So were you. >> What does a rabbit mean? Let me guess.
00:55:46
>> Gentle. This is not correct. >> Yeah. >> Gentle, quiet, elegant, alert, often
00:55:50
embodying peace, longevity, and prosperity. They're known for being compassionate, witty, deeply reasonable,
00:55:55
though they can be conservative, and overly cautious. Rabbits are highly social, artistic, and avoid conflict,
00:56:01
making them loyal, albeit sometimes reserved friends. They love poppers late at night in New York.
00:56:06
>> Oh, it says that. >> How does it know that? >> They lie. They say that they're 5'3.
00:56:09
>> Yeah, it says they're higher. >> Yeah. >> Gentle and kind. Oh, I love that about
00:56:14
me. >> You think you're gentle and kind? >> Yeah. >> Yeah.
00:56:18
>> I I think I'm definitely kind. I don't know if I'm like gentle. I feel like I'm
00:56:20
pretty like I'm pretty abrasive. >> If if you picked up like a baby like
00:56:25
>> I would drop it. I can't That's not gentle at all. Yeah. Yeah. >> What?
00:56:30
>> You picked up a baby. >> No, but maybe No, I would I've never
00:56:32
dropped a baby. But like you see, I'm like hitting this mic back and forth like
00:56:35
>> Yeah. But I feel like if you did pick up a baby, you'd be gentle about it.
00:56:39
>> I mean, I'm very good with kids. >> Yeah. There you go. >> Yeah.
00:56:41
>> I'm very good. >> You're gentle. Yeah. Yeah. >> How long have you been with Louise?
00:56:44
>> Since the day I started. Really? >> To work together. We were co-workers.
00:56:48
>> At where? >> Um at a Well, she worked at a management firm and I and the management firm had a
00:56:53
joint venture with the record label I worked at. I was the assistant to this guy named Zach. And Zach is now my
00:56:59
manager with Louise. >> Wow. What's a record label? Uh, the record label is 10K Projects. It's now
00:57:04
Atlantic. Well, it they swallowed it up. >> Louise, what is it? >> It's still 10K, but Zach is now at
00:57:11
Atlantic. >> Okay. >> So, when did you know that you wanted to, you know, kind of escape that world,
00:57:16
become more of a personality? >> You know, I never did. I never wanted to escape. I was very happy. I loved
00:57:22
working for Zach. I loved going to work every day. I loved music. I had so much fun. And then it kind of came random.
00:57:29
Not randomly. Like I was posting online, but I I think I was posting with no end
00:57:33
goal really. >> It wasn't It was It wasn't like a uh It wasn't uh premeditated. This kind of
00:57:38
fell into >> It was It wasn't Yeah. It was like if it h like Zach always used to like make
00:57:43
jokes about it like if anything happens, I'll be your manager. >> Wow.
00:57:46
>> And then um >> you just have a natural gift for a personality. >> Oh, thank you.
00:57:51
>> When you came in, it was like a You know what I mean? >> Really? You feel that way? I'll take
00:57:54
that. >> Well, I mean, you have [ __ ] the rosiest cheeks I've ever seen.
00:57:59
Bra. Bra. >> Oh, it's a problem. It's a problem. >> Is it a problem?
00:58:02
>> Yeah. I have I have moisturizer. It's tinted green. >> Yeah. >> So, it like um
00:58:08
>> takes away the rosiness. Yes. Is it green, Louise? That the That's the
00:58:13
color. Yes. >> Could I >> I don't understand. >> The green like takes No. But why do you
00:58:18
want it away? >> Cuz it's so it's it's too [ __ ] rosy sometimes.
00:58:20
>> Really? Yeah. Yeah. >> There are some photos of me that are so [ __ ] ugly.
00:58:24
>> Yeah. Yeah. No, I like the rose. >> You like the rose? >> Yeah. Yeah. It pops.
00:58:28
>> That's your new nickname is the little boy Rose. >> Yeah. Yeah.
00:58:31
>> Little boy Rose. >> No. Does it get rosy in other parts of your body?
00:58:34
>> All right. >> No, that's not what I was asking. What parts of my body? Like your shoulders.
00:58:39
>> Do you get rosy? >> No, it gets like it gets like red. >> What?
00:58:42
>> I think my body gets like red. Oh, so you don't tan? >> No, I I burn.
00:58:46
>> Do you have Do you have rosy cheeks? >> Yes. >> That's what I'm He's saying you're tush
00:58:50
your rosy cheeks. >> Oh, no. >> How do you know? Because I can see my
00:58:55
own ass >> through a mirror. >> Sometimes. >> You never You never gone between your
00:59:00
own ass? >> I've never like if there was no mirror. I think that's an impossibility.
00:59:05
>> Unless I go to a pond, >> right? And I and I do one of those deals. But it's like
00:59:10
>> if there was no mirror, I would never see my ass. But yes, I do have a mirror
00:59:13
and I have seen my ass. >> You take yourself down to ass pond over there. >> Yeah.
00:59:18
>> Have a look at that. >> Yeah. >> Take take yourself a good look at that
00:59:21
butt. >> Yeah. Do you have a big butt? >> I don't know. >> I mean, do you like your butt?
00:59:26
>> I don't hate it. >> I hate my butt. >> Really? >> It's too flat. Like my
00:59:30
>> like your what? >> Face. >> Exactly. >> I actually do not think you have a flat
00:59:34
face at all. >> Thank you. >> He said it. I I >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you said
00:59:40
it. >> You led me there. >> You did say it. >> Well, he pushed you pushed me all the
00:59:44
way there. I know. >> What did you want me to do? >> Yeah. Say it. >> Yeah.
00:59:47
>> You do not have a flat face. Thank you at all. >> No. No. It's a frat face. Yeah. A fra
00:59:54
>> but but if I was on a coin I was a president. >> Not good. >> Yeah. It would just be a line.
01:00:01
>> I have the worst I have the worst side profile on. >> Can I see? Let me see.
01:00:05
>> No. >> Oh, it's great. Presidential. >> No, it's it's very bad.
01:00:08
>> Yeah. >> And there's one side that makes me look like I need a nose job and the OTHER I
01:00:12
DON'T. >> OH, WHAT HAPPENED? BOXING. >> NO, I fell off a tree. >> Oh, close.
01:00:17
>> When I was a child, >> what? What? What? You were climbing trees? I was climbing a tree at a
01:00:22
seafood restaurant in Massachusetts and I fell off. >> You want to know something crazy?
01:00:27
>> Yeah. >> I bought a homeless guy Shake Shack yesterday and as I was putting the food
01:00:33
down, I looked at his foot and it had a swastika on it. >> No. >> Carlos, did you do it where you're
01:00:38
homeless now? >> I swear I got in the car, I looked at my friend. I said, "You'll never believe
01:00:42
it." >> No. >> He was such a nice guy. >> Did he draw it on there? Because that
01:00:46
was his night he had a tattoo. >> Cuz you're white. That's why it was
01:00:49
nice. But I'm Jewish. >> Oh, well, he can't tell. >> Oh, yes, he can.
01:00:54
>> Yes, he can. >> Yeah. >> Well, did you What did you do then? You
01:00:56
just >> I got in the car. I said, "Oh my god." >> You gave him the Shake Shack.
01:01:00
>> Yeah. He had a dog. The dog's obviously not a [ __ ] Nazi. >> No, you don't know that.
01:01:04
>> You don't know that. >> Was it a German Shepherd? >> You know what it could have been?
01:01:07
>> Did it put it pop? >> Have you guys just been podcasting all day?
01:01:14
>> We started at 4:00 a.m. >> Yeah. You know, my friend Matt almost flew out for this. He loves you guys so
01:01:21
much. >> Matt who? >> Uh, you don't know him? >> Oh, he's like Oh, okay. I thought
01:01:25
>> actually he's a tour manager. MATT MCKENNA. >> OH, NO, NO, NO. I DON'T KNOW. I don't
01:01:29
know. >> I don't know. He should have come out. >> Yeah. >> Matt, we love you so much. So, how do
01:01:34
you feel about this? We went to Coachella and we saw the Strokes and then >> Oh my god. I saw the Strokes and it was
01:01:40
unbelievable. It was the best experience of my life. >> And then Bieber was going to go and then
01:01:44
I I went home. >> What? You missed out? >> Yeah. Yeah. Did you go weekend one or
01:01:48
two? >> Weekend two. >> Okay. So, I saw the Strokes weekend one. I die for the Strokes. I I had the most
01:01:53
fun of my life. >> Did Bieber do the YouTube video thing then? >> Yeah. It was amazing. It was so cool. I
01:01:57
thought it was so cool. >> Yeah. >> Who are you friends with? Justin Bieber?
01:02:00
>> No. No. >> Someone in a band. >> Well, I had friends with Julian
01:02:03
Kasablancas. >> Yeah. So, when I was on Matt TV, I introduced them when they were on Matt
01:02:08
TV. You can see it on >> Wow. >> The ladies and gentlemen for their 2003
01:02:11
album, >> right? And then they came What? >> For their 2003 album. >> This is it. Yeah.
01:02:15
>> Yeah. And at what are you looking at? >> Is this I was about to say I didn't want
01:02:18
to know. >> And then I got in trouble. Do you know why? Because I was using drugs then.
01:02:22
>> Yeah. >> And I had a bowl of drugs on my in my dressing room. >> Right. And the guy that was what?
01:02:28
>> What? >> Yeah. >> What? >> So I had a bowl of drugs on my dressing
01:02:30
room and >> what drug? >> The guy that was dating Drew Barrymore. >> Valenci.
01:02:36
>> Yeah. Valency. >> Who? Let me see. >> Nick Valenci. >> Nick Valenci. Yeah. I don't know if I
01:02:40
>> I think I got in trouble because he took he was supposed to not take and he took
01:02:44
and I think Drew Baronmore complained and um I got in a little bit of a trouble I think.
01:02:50
>> Oh, he's handsome. What drugs were that? >> I I'm a I was a pill head then. So,
01:02:54
Vicodin, Val, um Somas >> a bowl full of just a mixture of ones, different sizes, shapes.
01:03:02
>> I love how casually you talk about it. It's actually very um it's probably very
01:03:06
inspiring for people who are in recovery. >> Why? because like it's probably such a
01:03:09
stressful topic for some people and you make it so tough. >> Well, I mean I I have an addiction and
01:03:15
it's a disease and it's like you know I've what >> everyone's scared to
01:03:22
>> Yeah. And I you know and so um there's no shame in it, >> right? Yeah. No, that's what I'm trying
01:03:27
to say. Congratulating you. >> Yeah. Oh yeah. >> I mean Carlos is an active addiction
01:03:31
right now. >> He's an active >> You are. >> Yeah. >> I mean Yeah.
01:03:35
>> Yeah. For what? I mean >> everything. >> This is crazy. I mean, I took Molly at
01:03:40
the strokes and >> ketamine. Molly. >> Yeah, I got ketamine into the festival.
01:03:44
>> He had a Bible. >> Yeah, he had a Bible filled with drugs. >> Drugs.
01:03:47
>> But like, are you taking it right now? >> Yeah. >> No. No. Not before.
01:03:50
>> Not on the show. >> So, you'll take it like on a weekend out?
01:03:53
>> Yeah. I'm like, >> I don't think you're an active addiction.
01:03:56
>> Thank you, Jake. I >> Insane. >> He doesn't know. He doesn't know.
01:03:59
>> Yeah. They saw me on tour like doing a lot of >> One time I was Okay. So, we're in
01:04:03
Nashville. >> Uhhuh. This is such an such an exaggerated. >> It's not.
01:04:07
>> It's what I see. >> Okay. See, what do you see? Tell me. >> 40%.
01:04:13
>> All right. >> Excuse you. >> Excuse you. >> Yeah. I just want that nasty.
01:04:20
>> That was nasty. Low blow. >> That was a nasty Asian joke. >> Yeah. Yeah. The nasty.
01:04:26
>> What did you see in Nashville? >> Okay. I'm walking down the street. It's
01:04:28
like 3:00 in the morning. >> Oh my god. >> Okay. >> Just got out of taekwond do.
01:04:32
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because I take great the best taekwond do classes. >> He takes those at night
01:04:36
>> in in Nashville. Yeah. Late night. >> Oh, you're serious? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:04:39
>> In the middle of the night. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I'm a purple belt.
01:04:47
>> Okay. What did you see at 3:00 a.m.? >> It's all purple. >> So, I'm wearing my, you know, my gear.
01:04:52
You know what I mean? My gear >> gear gear gear gear. And I have my purple belt. I have my duffel bag. And
01:04:58
I'm walking down the street just minding my own business. beat to be specific.
01:05:03
And uh that smelled so bad. I'm so sorry. >> You're in it? >> No. I'm so stressed out about it.
01:05:06
>> I just farted. Did you hear it? >> I obviously I [ __ ] heard it and I'm
01:05:09
so stressed out. >> You smell it yet? >> No. >> Okay. I'm sorry.
01:05:12
>> It'll make its way. >> No, it it actually can't. And I need a
01:05:14
fan. Like I'll >> Please continue. It won't get >> Oh, you don't fart.
01:05:20
>> No. I mean, look, I just really I really struggle with smell. >> Yes, you do. Okay.
01:05:25
>> What? >> We're looking for a fan. >> No, no. You guys, he was Yeah, he was
01:05:29
kidding. It's not gonna make it to you. >> I pray to God. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's not going to.
01:05:36
>> All right. Go ahead. >> Anyway, I'm walking downstairs, etc., etc. And I look down an alleyway
01:05:42
and I see a man making out with to me looks like a methhead. >> Yeah. >> From a distance.
01:05:48
>> Is this real? >> Yeah, it's real. This is real. >> And it's Carlos with this girl making
01:05:52
out just on in the alleyway just just sitting down trash can. >> I bet against a dumpster. What's so
01:05:58
wrong with that? >> Rock and roll, man. >> Rock and roll. >> Yeah.
01:06:01
>> What's the What's the problem with that? Were you insinuating drug use?
01:06:05
>> What drugs were you on? >> And then he came on the bus naked. Half
01:06:08
naked. >> Are you a tour manager? >> Yep. >> Yeah. >> You remind me a lot of Matt.
01:06:13
>> Oh, okay. I know Nolan, by the way. You're the producer. >> You don't know. Shut the [ __ ] up. How do
01:06:17
you know Nolan? >> He reached out to me and wanted to just talk. He's a fan of this show.
01:06:21
>> He's awesome. He's awesome. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> A lot of people want to talk to you.
01:06:26
>> Yeah. What is that? >> You know, it's so nice that you go on their show. Matt refuses to come on my
01:06:30
show. >> He does. >> He refuses. Will not. He refuses. >> Why?
01:06:36
>> I don't know. >> Okay. >> I don't know. It's so nice. You are so
01:06:40
You have You have it so lucky. You don't know how good you have it. >> We do.
01:06:43
>> I I I just had Matteo Lane on Lane on. Do you know him? >> Yes. >> Yeah. Great guy.
01:06:47
>> Yeah. He's very funny. >> What? What? >> You're asking cuz he's gay.
01:06:51
>> Yep. >> Well, you know what? That felt weird. You're right. All right. I apologize.
01:06:56
>> I don't care. >> Well, if you asked, "Hey, do you know who Ronnie Chang was?" I wouldn't be
01:06:59
offended, >> right? But I wouldn't ask that. >> Why? Why wouldn't you ask that?
01:07:02
>> I don't know because I don't >> Do you know who Ronnie Chang is?
01:07:05
>> Well, I don't know who Ronnie Chang is. WHO IS THAT? >> SO, you don't Ronnie Chang is?
01:07:11
>> Oh, yes, I know him. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Well, I I don't know everyone's [ __ ]
01:07:16
name. >> Okay. All right. Okay. All right. My bad. What is your type of who are you looking for? Because
01:07:25
we've got a lot of fans that might have not know not familiar with you. They
01:07:29
might be just getting to know you and now you're opening up some new new games.
01:07:33
>> You know, I I I think I'm I always say I'm experiencing the experiences of like
01:07:38
a 16-year-old girl for the first time as a 26-year-old gay boy. >> Uhhuh. >> And so I don't know what my type is. I
01:07:46
think I'm figuring it out. >> Did you come out later in life? >> No. What do you think?
01:07:51
That's actually hostile what you said and and I don't find that appropriate.
01:07:57
>> I came out to my parents when I was 10, 11. >> Oh, well, I didn't know that.
01:08:02
>> How did you do? How did you do it? >> How did you do? >> I walked up to my mom's office.
01:08:06
>> Can you do it in your the 10-year-old kid back then? >> I I said I I had like a high pitch
01:08:11
voice. >> Yeah. >> Said, "I think I like boys." And then I
01:08:14
asked for a toy. >> And your parents fully accepted it? >> Well, yeah, they knew. I was like dress
01:08:19
I was in dresses. No, he's saying, "Were they supportive?" >> Of course they were.
01:08:22
>> Okay, that's good. >> No, you don't. It's not. Of course.
01:08:24
>> It's not. Of course. >> You never know. >> Okay. Well, >> people do go through. We have a lot of
01:08:27
friends who have gone through. >> This is how it would went with me. Dad, I'm gay. You peck your bag.
01:08:34
>> You're gay. Are you gay? >> He's by. >> You're by.
01:08:37
>> I'm not by >> big time. I'm not by big time, dude. >> He's by.
01:08:40
>> Mhm. >> Who is by? >> You. >> I'm not by. >> Okay.
01:08:43
>> 45%. >> Have you hooked up with a guy up? >> Yes. >> Multiple times?
01:08:48
>> Yes. >> A couple times. You're by. No, I was a kid. >> What do you mean you were a kid?
01:08:53
>> I was in high school. I would get drunk, >> you know what I mean? And I just blow
01:08:56
guys at a party. >> What are you full straight? >> Yeah, you know that.
01:09:02
>> Yeah, >> you can see that from pretty far away. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:09:06
>> Pick up. Answer. Answer. Answer. >> Oh my god. Answer. >> Matt is texting me.
01:09:10
>> Okay. >> Yeah. >> You're on Bad Friends. >> Matt,
01:09:15
>> am I? >> Yeah, you are. Hey, Matt. >> Hi, Matt. >> Hey. What's up, guys?
01:09:19
>> Why'd you text Jake? Why'd you text him? >> Tell him why you texted me. Tell him
01:09:24
what you are texting me right now. >> I was just asking if he knew if certain
01:09:29
people were Jewish or not, just off the top of his head. >> Why? >> Why?
01:09:34
>> I'll read you our text. He said to me, he said to me yesterday at 11 at 4:02
01:09:40
p.m., "Is Anne Hathaway Jewish?" And I said, "I don't know why."
01:09:43
>> And then he never responded. And then today at 1:00 p.m., he said, "Do you
01:09:46
know if Meyer Street is?" And then I said, "I don't think she is. She might
01:09:50
be." Why? What about Jennifer Gardner? She's a maybe. >> Maybe. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, wait. Why
01:09:54
do you want to know who who's Are you counting people or something going on?
01:09:59
>> No. I'm just genuinely I'm just curious if anyone knows just like
01:10:03
>> this is how it starts. >> Knowledge type. >> You're running a train company.
01:10:06
>> Yeah. This This is how it starts. >> My god, that was nasty. You know, that was
01:10:14
nasty. >> I don't even know what he said. He said, "Do you run a train company?"
01:10:19
>> It was an autism joke, I think. >> No, IT WAS A HOLOCAUST JOKE. >> YEAH.
01:10:24
>> YEAH. >> OKAY. GOODBYE. >> BYE. You just hung up. >> I love that.
01:10:28
>> I love that. >> Goodbye. >> Yeah. >> Gone. >> That's not like my normal act.
01:10:33
>> Wouldn't it be a bummer though if he died moments later? >> I'd [ __ ] kill myself. Die.
01:10:38
>> You would. You should. >> He's my best friend. >> You should say goodbye sweetly.
01:10:41
>> I know. Stop it. I don't like that. I know. He knows I love him. >> Cuz our goodbyes is as if I'm never
01:10:47
going to talk to him ever again. >> Cuz that little sassy thing you just did.
01:10:50
>> I didn't like it. >> That's going to be bad for you in the
01:10:52
long run. >> That's Rosie chick cheek [ __ ] I don't like it. >> That's Rosie [ __ ] right there. Sweetie,
01:10:58
you know what? Boom. And >> our conversations. All right. So, good set. You had a good set tonight.
01:11:04
>> Yeah, it was pretty fun, man. How >> It's getting late. Yeah. No, it was
01:11:06
good. Yeah, it's getting late. Um, I love you. >> A Is that real? I love you too. Yeah, we
01:11:14
say I love you every time. >> And then I go good night. >> He does. >> Yeah. And what do you say?
01:11:21
>> Night night. >> A I don't say that. I say okay. Goodbye. I love you. That's how I end.
01:11:26
>> But that's not how you did. >> Yeah. Because I'm putting on a show.
01:11:30
>> Okay. Talk about vaudevilian. >> Yeah. Putting on a show. I always say
01:11:34
every I I can't not say love you. I have to say love you and I have to hear it
01:11:37
back. It's my OD. >> Yeah. Did you have fun though or not? >> I honestly would love to come back. No,
01:11:42
we want you back. >> Want to come on my show? >> Oh, we would love to. The flow. The
01:11:45
flow. >> Really? Yeah. >> It was pure. >> It was very real. I walked in, I sat my
01:11:49
ass down, and we started talking. >> And we just boom. >> Yeah. This is It's kind of like a barber
01:11:53
shop in here. >> It It Well, I Yeah, I guess. >> Salom. >> I don't think so.
01:11:58
>> Sorry. Well, when you're here, it's a salon. >> Salon. >> It's a salon.
01:12:01
>> Get your hair done. >> That's You know what? I don't like that.
01:12:04
>> I didn't say more elegant. >> Yeah. Yeah. He's saying it's nicer.
01:12:08
>> Okay. >> No, that's not what he was saying. >> That's not what he was saying.
01:12:10
>> What was he saying? He was saying it's a salon for me when I go. You guys call it
01:12:13
the barber shop. It's the salon for me. >> No, I call it the salon, too.
01:12:16
>> Really? Yeah. >> You are gay. >> Will you look into that camera and say,
01:12:22
"Thank you for being a bad friend." >> Thank you for being a bad friend.
01:12:38
Yeah. Woo.