00:00:00
you two are bad friends who are these two idiots a white dude and an Asian
00:00:05
dude you two are disgusting you two or something we're
00:00:10
bad friends how do I not get a call from any of you saying hey we are doing a
00:00:16
show it's official cuz we're scared because what do you mean oh the the cartoon yeah like cuz it's 30 years away
00:00:23
we we tell the people in our ecosystem first and then we go outside of that like the mailman and then after guys
00:00:30
then you hear yeah then you hear you hear about third mailman third cousins right I've never heard it I got a
00:00:36
student of mine to text me hey I saw this in the Press congratulations on the show like well let me tell you something
00:00:41
we didn't we didn't know that they were going to put a release out that day they were asking us about it called Bobby six
00:00:47
times wouldn't answer the phone I said where were you all day and then he goes stardew Valley farming dude unbelievable
00:00:53
farming yeah yeah there's a picture of the kids right there there's us three how funny is my insert I got to tell you it actually
00:00:59
looks nice you're not in that that's your real right we didn't yeah that's real but I'm not in the actual photo
00:01:05
yeah but that's oh they put you in there they're photosh oh I see that's because of what's going on overseas right now yeah yeah we can't have a photo of yeah
00:01:12
I know you're pro Israel but yeah don't don't read the comments don't read the comments yeah don't read the comments about it so let me ask oh God damn it go
00:01:20
ahead buddy the Ry poy Farms a lot in the show yeah that's all he does by the way wait you just call me roly
00:01:28
poly you are a rly I just read it yeah in the show not in real life I'm saying
00:01:33
oh in the oh yeah yeah but I know yeah you're
00:01:39
right let's hear the question yeah let's hear
00:01:44
it get to it sorry what was it what's the question oh yeah yeah um well Nick no K talk last
00:01:52
night nicke CHR CH CHR yeah don't don't worry about
00:01:59
that until we get the show off the ground it's Cree yeah yeah for me CHR well I've been calling you crease for
00:02:04
years for 15 years and you never you never corrected me no no no that I hate when that happens that's your fault
00:02:10
you've definitely been corrected you just don't hey Billy it's biley I go I've been call you Billy for 15 you know mean I don't like that you call biley
00:02:16
Smiley Billy yeah that's insane all right so um Nick and I were talking last
00:02:21
night and can I ask you a question yeah when I talked to you on the phone you seem like you want to get off real quick
00:02:28
no I'm worried about the same thing with you yeah you do want to get off the pH I'm a moment guy everyone knows that
00:02:35
yeah you're on the phone for a moment and then you want to hang up no I live in the moment yeah yeah I'm present I
00:02:40
live in the moment and listen to everything you're saying but you're like all right come on hurry up and I don't like that that's projection it is
00:02:46
projection yeah you're right dude you're so smart I'm just why we got him Christ huh
00:02:53
yeah I love it so I there he is oh that's when I did the at midnight the original at midnight
00:03:01
I did tooo you did yeah how many times did you do it three or four times yeah did you win ever never yeah never won I
00:03:08
don't think I won one family Fe oh with with Tim Simons yeah yeah and ardan he
00:03:14
tall huh look how cool I am anyway um look at how short you are you're shorter than ardan [ __ ] shut the [ __ ] up dude
00:03:21
she's like 42 she's so tiny that's insane to be tiny look Tim Simons is 66
00:03:28
yeah he's tall but still you're smaller than ardan who is a tiny tiny person let's move on let's move on no problem
00:03:34
your problem no this is your you know what your problem is what's my problem I'll tell you what my problem is when the movers unscrewed the TV stand oh
00:03:42
here we go they lost the screws so now I have a TV on the floor and I sit on the
00:03:47
floor that's when you call Geek Squad dude Oh you mean the the uh Best Buy
00:03:53
guys that not calling Geek Squad no I just can't get screws right that fit that's me with a Natty light no in that
00:04:02
apartment oh my God that was used to be my life but I got a word to the Wise Wise to the word you got extra trash
00:04:08
don't call got Junk call Los Angeles sanitation department all you have to do
00:04:15
is put in a request and they'll pick it up y I just paid G trash you don't even have to pay for that they'll just pick
00:04:20
it up you just have to let them know you have more [ __ ] and I was like that's all I have to do all these years huh pror he
00:04:26
eats he eats it I'm hungry oh I got a question I posted on
00:04:31
Instagram this morning this is a real poll I haven't thought about this in a long time but I had a cup of coffee and I know mid cup I'm going to poop it's
00:04:39
about half a cup and I have to poop what's your what's your number how much a cup of coffee do you have to poop if I
00:04:45
have Buffalo mozzarella Buffalo right with a cup of coffee with a cup of coffee dude BR bro bro it's what you
00:04:52
went through last week it it's it's instantaneous cuz the pole the pole is
00:04:59
in right now so far we've got 41% of people have say that before they finish
00:05:04
a cup of coffee they have to [ __ ] 36% 36% say within an hour yeah do you go I
00:05:11
I right away but well that's IBS IBS I don't I don't mean to brag I you have Cron's disease no I wish what's ibf IBS
00:05:20
bow syndrome he's Jewish you know when you guys are born easy you know how we all get like vaccinations and all that
00:05:26
stuff for tetan do they give Jew do they give Jewish kids IBS I they give it to him in the hospital it's a requirement
00:05:32
you can't leave without it can't leave without it I did my 23 to me and I'm 100%
00:05:40
IBS I'm serious about the coffee thing what is it with I I can't finish a cup I got to go sometimes I bring the cup in
00:05:46
the bathroom which which just a Red Bull that's what I do what is Red Bull Bud do you even know what it is battery acid
00:05:52
it's [ __ ] it's [ __ ] trash it's not good it's so bad for your body oh [ __ ] man oh no finding this out citric
00:06:00
acid toine what is toine 's the best yeah what is it from the plant Tas T
00:06:06
Alanda it's an essential amino acid for babies adult can make their own toine but their high amounts of it
00:06:15
in you are big baby can I ask T makes me do that can I ask my
00:06:21
question though or because you're going on a [ __ ] rant go ahead I'll get off of it all right so I call you last night so
00:06:28
how many right mhm dates do go on right before the kiss
00:06:34
happens if you're good you probably get it on the first date all right so I'm I'm I've been I've been dating this girl
00:06:40
this two dates already girl go ahead Bath House Bath House Bath House
00:06:48
bath
00:06:57
house you want to get out of here all right all right so you went on a date a
00:07:03
couple of dates with this girl why do you do that it gets the whole room in a VI I get into it and then then I lose my
00:07:09
train of thought Bath House Bath House Bath House
00:07:14
Bath House Bath House bath house all right two dates or three dates
00:07:21
so tonight I'm going on the third date where to this is important cuz if you're not getting a kiss where you take I've
00:07:27
taken her to nice restaurants what are you talking about like thank you oh [ __ ] um the first time
00:07:34
we went out was um I think I I don't want to say it you
00:07:39
can cuz it's over I know but but you don't want to see
00:07:44
Rich what is it Arby's it's um we got the meats that's
00:07:51
my go-to spot with every day so I don't want the other girls that I've on that's fine and go and they go well that's
00:07:56
where he took me you there's no way you think there's no way we think girls don't know that you're taking them out
00:08:02
to the same places of course you are we're creatures of habit you go to six places all of us go to six places yeah
00:08:09
yeah P for me it's Chipotle California Pizza Kitchen be real the v in the
00:08:16
valley I'm dead serious it's the same six place all right but I Don't Stray
00:08:21
but okay if you okay the the six places right that if you were going going on a date with what are they I I have mine
00:08:28
you got your six yeah I think so I'm [ __ ] married we don't go on Dat I know but just hypothetically if you were single where would you go where would I
00:08:34
take them yeah probably to um East Side [ __ ] m east side shit's hip [ __ ] that's
00:08:40
where the that's where he lives p no P's not no P's over by us little Doms little
00:08:46
Doms is great that's good yeah like Bestia yeah yeah yeah I went to mother wolf that I like mother F and Funk EV
00:08:53
that's him same guy fun fun F good yeah I go to Daman yeah bar Flores yeah
00:08:58
Damian's great Damian's we talk about Damian all the time Damian's great and then you know bastia across the street
00:09:03
from there yeah hippo that's right hippo's good what' you call me that's his nickname no he talking about his
00:09:10
mom what's that about you thought we'd move past that what is that I I know you're right
00:09:16
you're right you're right what were you doing right there being aggressive what is that right there that you think you were doing I was being what do you think you
00:09:22
doing being aggressive again I'm so sorry you think that was a good idea that wasn't a good idea I don't think it was a good idea you let that one go I
00:09:27
think that one's going to sit with me for a minute will you please let that one go I don't know yeah yeah yeah ask the question I
00:09:33
already did so how many do you think so I'm tonight's the third dat she better kiss you on the third date that's crazy
00:09:40
third date you don't even get like a peck friend zone after that yeah that's F oh wow Spanish has spoken
00:09:47
accent Amigo Zone yeah Amigo Zone that [ __ ] burned me dude that hurt yep hey
00:09:54
have you been friendzoned oh my everybody in their [ __ ] everyone in this room everyone no no one is immune to the
00:10:01
you've been friend zoned of course oh thank the Lord dude I got friend zoned one time so hard in college I went over
00:10:07
to this [ __ ] girl's dorm who I like crushed crushed crushed on was putting in all the work trying to do the right
00:10:13
thing she's like come on over and hang out and I was like [ __ ] yeah maybe this is I go to her [ __ ] dorm I'm kicking
00:10:20
it taking it easy not trying to be aggressive no moves nothing great song Take it
00:10:25
easyy take ity house
00:10:31
B I'm sitting on the like one of those um what are those what were they called the big bean bags Love Sack remember
00:10:39
those you know what I I call them what your mom you [ __ ] I love sitting on a love
00:10:45
sack on her dorm room floor and in walks that was pretty good the guy that she's [ __ ] oh oh yeah and she's like this
00:10:54
is my friend Andrew this is so and so and I was like hey buddy and she literally goes do you want to hang out
00:11:01
and finish we were watching it do you want to finish this we're going to go grab something to eat I was like yeah just hang I just hung out in the dorm by
00:11:08
myself that guy now this is what he does for a living yeah that guy now oh wait hold on let me guess keep going uh
00:11:13
that's not a bad that's not it's not a bad wait wait wait that's not a bad no my man I want to see what I maybe I can guess what oh you guess it all right let's see do it again um Di and Graves
00:11:21
no Di and Graves is that what you guessed uh keep doing it let me see if I can
00:11:26
oh keep doing it playing High doing it keep doing it yeah you're never going to get I was just trying to get you some
00:11:32
exercise you're never what does he do what I was just trying to get you some exercise he pulls
00:11:37
rope oh he's a rope competition I'm the I'm the Caboose you really are and I do
00:11:42
it this way it's like this all right and then what what is this nailing Jesus to the Cross yeah dude yeah yeah yes only
00:11:50
thing I can do bro that's so good that guy did a great jobob he hung up there for a while yeah so third so third date
00:11:56
you got to get a kiss I think if you don't then you kind of know it's Amigo
00:12:01
time you're Amigos but can I can I say this and by the way we're not advocating you don't
00:12:07
have to kiss anybody but if by the third day you're not romantically interested in someone ladies tell him but with Kila
00:12:14
back in the day it took me eight dates really yeah to open up those
00:12:20
floodgates yeah I'm shocked it took me like eight hung in there she really like
00:12:25
the restaurants yeah oh you son of a [ __ ] yeah Larchmont wine and cheese didn't
00:12:31
cut it yeah so um that's interesting that changes things yeah eight days yeah cuz sometimes here sometimes when maybe
00:12:38
she was fighting off an infection it could have been a couple of days mad cow or something no like a UTI
00:12:45
maybe she had something she didn't want to let you in eight you C you mean eight maybe at the beginning she was fighting
00:12:51
off something she was on her period or you never know it's a possibility yeah I seems like a no I was in competition so
00:12:57
yeah you were competing against other guys with her she was single there was other options so she wanted to see if you were
00:13:02
worthwhile I think more time plays well for you though Bobby so why why why
00:13:09
interesting argument well people get to know you and you can't help but fall in love with Bob I guess that's true yeah
00:13:15
but not love at first sight you are definitely not love at first sight unless it's I think he can be Second Sight am I Love at Second Sight I mean
00:13:22
your love is [Laughter] blind Love is Blind right for sure yeah
00:13:29
so um yeah sometimes I do my personality I can get in there but it's like it just
00:13:35
takes so much like the reason this is bothering you he doesn't know is last week we talked about he went in for a
00:13:41
smooch and he got cheeked that's the same girl I know so I got to tell tell me that yeah I told you the last time
00:13:47
about the CH yeah you got you talked he got Che he got out of the car real quick this is why I think this is not
00:13:53
this girl doesn't want to be she wants to be a homie she likes you as a human kind of makes me so sad I like I'm just
00:13:58
text her kiss or n no no just send a poll yeah do an Instagram poll will this
00:14:04
chick kiss me tonight she'll see this is what I'm gonna do you want to hear my [ __ ] thing yeah are you being real
00:14:10
yeah okay so um if it doesn't happen I kind of don't want it to happen Okay you
00:14:16
pull a gun out and kill yourself right in front of her yeah yeah this is your fault yeah
00:14:22
and I want to um and then I I like moving on you never talk to her again because I'll tell you something what
00:14:27
happened I want to tell something that that happened to me I I was ever going to talk about this but right when K and
00:14:34
I broke up back in the day right I went on a date with the girl same thing two or three days nothing right and then she
00:14:41
was at the comedy store recently yeah I hadn't seen her since then and we hooked
00:14:47
up that night at The Comedy Store this is like I had seen her in like over like a year and a half oo that's hot you're
00:14:53
me my point is is that sometimes you plant the seed you plant the seed and it
00:14:58
will grow mhm those bonsai trees grow real slow but they do grow at some point
00:15:04
it's a long game it's a long it's a hundred-year game yeah yeah yeah you're playing the 100 when Mr Miyagi when Mr
00:15:10
Miyagi was cutting the beyon tree in the original Kon yeah best movie yeah it's a great movie so good what's the point guy
00:15:17
oh see you don't you missed when I was watching the theater I'm like that's what you do no you missed it completely
00:15:22
like the Benny jeser it it's patience it's it's um it's it's it's meditation
00:15:28
but he doesn't even sell it on eBay he just kind of has them well he had a pin Pinterest for a while I think Mr Miyagi
00:15:34
he did yeah yeah look at him no [ __ ] that was his only fans back
00:15:39
then that's what only fans was trimming Bonsai yeah yeah look at Ral Macho he's like you
00:15:47
[ __ ] loser dude by the way Ralph Macho same age today that he was then you see a photo this guy I've met him
00:15:53
what baby blood is he drinking that he looks that good he is also look at how handsome that guy the nicest guy will
00:15:59
ever [ __ ] be not surprised great actor seem a good dude great guy give me the age of this gentleman now he's 62
00:16:06
shut the [ __ ] up that guy's 62 years old mhm that guy 62 how did I [ __ ] know
00:16:12
that dude that was good good than you wow one of the nicest guys in the world dude I love that guy so [ __ ] handsome
00:16:19
how did you know that what how did you know he was 62 doing some late night Googling that's I I think what I think
00:16:25
because when the night I met him all right so I was hosting this thing called the Asian accellence
00:16:31
[Laughter]
00:16:36
Awards sorry welcome back to the Asian
00:16:42
excellence awards why would they use a word like
00:16:47
Excellence with Asians the Excellence Award of all words to
00:16:54
use so yeah then the Asian exence
00:17:02
award hosted by JC [Laughter]
00:17:07
P oh [ __ ] dude bur like I like it all right times have changed times have
00:17:12
changed all right so your back in the day yeah so you're hosting believe it or not I believe it trust me I see the
00:17:19
asiano did it is he Asian no no but he likes Kill Bill and stuff so he was on
00:17:26
the show that's where I have a photo on Instagram where I met and have a photo together that's when I met him Danny DeVito and then Ralph machio was there
00:17:32
too none of these guys are [ __ ] Asian Ralph machio did an asan through L he
00:17:37
did Karate Kid yeah Danny DeVito why the [ __ ] was he there cuz he's short like you guys like as if you don't look his
00:17:45
eyes he could be Asian yeah I me think about that from the back I'm like look at that little Korean guy running away
00:17:51
yeah yeah so um and I Ralph Mai was there and I remember I mean not that the
00:17:56
other people there were rude it's just just he was more um available he was
00:18:01
just night he was a moment guy like you he's a moment guy yeah he was just like I talking to me and I was just like and um my [ __ ] my brother when he was
00:18:10
drinking was there that's when he was still using what that's when he was using my brother was still so so Danny
00:18:16
DeVito Tarantino and Ralph Macho they were sitting on Backstage on these couches and my brother was on the
00:18:22
outskirts drinking completely drunk and he kept walking up to Ralph Matthew I swear to God going kid dud and then
00:18:29
backing up he's not wrong though yeah and I would go I remember going Steve stop right he's like dude cry
00:18:37
can't D you know what I mean like like [ __ ] like a Stony drunk I love your brother yeah he didn't know anybody by
00:18:43
the way those three guys [ __ ] Mary kill Danny DeVito Ralph machio and uh [ __ ] Mary kill Asian IND and
00:18:49
Tarantino yeah [ __ ] Mary kill all right so who would I Tarantino Danny DeVito and Ralph machio [ __ ] Ralph machio sure
00:18:57
yeah uh I mean probably kill Danny deito you'd have to kill Tarantino because the name of the sake of his films Kill Bill
00:19:03
kill kill Quinton that's true but then you'd have to [ __ ] Danny toito though how fun to toss that guy around yeah
00:19:10
that's easy that's the easy part he's a spinner oh yeah yeah maybe okay he [ __ ] connect he's same size as
00:19:15
me we could 69 it would be like just like two blueberries rolling around in the yin and yang cuz usually when I 69 I
00:19:21
had the yeah me I have to reach a jumping 6 but you know you guys cuz you're both like little rotund bellies
00:19:27
it's like two magnet to the same side you just can't [ __ ] they just can't connect they just can't touch I had a
00:19:33
girl once say that like D I like that you have a belly because it rubs against my [ __ ] and I can come quicker really
00:19:39
yeah I was like what it does that your belly goes down that far yeah I guess it does that my God yeah anyway um that's a
00:19:45
tip for tip for guys out there yeah it's a tip for guys anyway so um Ralph Macho great guy Ralph Macho is the guy that we
00:19:51
would marry yeah uh can I ask you another question quick this is something I came in
00:19:56
with floor's yours okay oh sorry my bad um you're the captain you know you better believe it toot toot I'm Spock
00:20:04
though aoy yeah yeah you're Kirk I'm Spock by the way put me on a boat and I get so gay put me on a [ __ ] boat and
00:20:10
I get gay check off you're a check off okay that's fine anyway um yeah I'm good
00:20:16
with that yeah so um let me ask you something so what I want to say is um I was thinking about last night you know I
00:20:22
lay in bed mhm and I got to show can I show you what my room looks like now
00:20:28
this is your new interior designed room yeah yeah I this is just one part of it wow that looks beautiful it's beautiful
00:20:34
I hope so for the money yeah I love being in there anyway um I was laying in bed in my beautiful new room listening
00:20:40
to some tunes what are you listening to I was listening to Sarah mclin's ice
00:20:46
cream really mhm that's ice cream I like that okay your love is better than ice
00:20:55
cream Zach you know when you get corner by that Aunt at a family gathering and
00:21:00
you feel like you have to bend the truth yeah the one that asks you it's like when are you going to get married when
00:21:06
are you going to move when are you going to quit bad friends I don't like it it's not a good show you know what I'm not
00:21:13
listening to you Auntie because I have Zach do the place where you can find a book doctors that make you feel comfortable and actually listen to you
00:21:20
okay I mean we do it with restaurants and other things and why not do it with your life yeah why wouldn't we do it with our life it doesn't make sense and
00:21:26
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00:21:33
are vibing before you ever meet uh IRL it means in real life with Zach do you
00:21:39
got more options than you know okay uh Bob and I both use Zach do I did when I moved to my new neighborhood it was
00:21:45
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00:21:51
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00:21:56
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deposit restrictions terms and responsible gaming resources [ __ ] [ __ ] is better than ice cream [ __ ]
00:24:09
ice cream is better than [ __ ] [ __ ] ice cream from Salt and Sprout you're right yeah dude Sal and Sprout you're right
00:24:14
mccon Santa Barbara Jaz 31 Flavors though I mean Basin Robbins I take head over that yeah yeah yeah
00:24:21
okay obwe say that's a Midwest thing over we Dair is so [ __ ] good my God those cows look they look like they're
00:24:28
something happened I mean when you see those farm cows dude they're like 900 [ __ ] pounds and you're like holy [ __ ]
00:24:34
this poor thing they've just inflated it dude so it's just piss and milk I saw a
00:24:40
[ __ ] Tik Tok the other day about a woman who what do they put in there the cows hormones they juice these [ __ ] up so your mom got it
00:24:46
[Laughter] done oh sorry that's last one sit down
00:24:52
so let me ask you something so um there there's Bobby there I am there's Bobby amongst of other Comics that's a green
00:24:57
room
00:25:03
that was so good dude thank you I love you um I'm telling you if you don't get a [ __ ] kiss from or or not a kiss I'm
00:25:10
sorry I don't want this sounds aggressive if this girl doesn't make it obvious tonight that it's not happening
00:25:16
well no shame Nick told me to just ask you got to be straight up so at the end of the thing if I feel like I'm going to
00:25:23
can I just talk to you for a second I just this feel is friends on you would you agree I'm fine with it but yeah something like that don't don't don't
00:25:29
give her the ammunition just go don't say this feels just go hey I just wanted Clarity do you want to be more than
00:25:36
friends that's too direct no because if you say if you give her the bait to go this feels friend zone then she's going
00:25:42
to go I guess maybe it is you're telling her how you feel he might be right there ask her ask what she wants do you want
00:25:50
to just be friends which is fine oh that's great okay I I just need to know if you just want to be I'll do it in my
00:25:55
own wording cuz we're going to go to a different restaurant if do it in your own do it in your own words dude that's so true right do it in do it do it in
00:26:01
your words I'll do
00:26:10
it that'll be your own words we got to get the Spaniard on
00:26:17
it anyway oh you shot at me [ __ ] three times with my mom so what don't get mad that I shoot back I'm not doing
00:26:24
anything all right anyways good I'm accepting also as you as [ __ ] your best boy I want you to win you know I
00:26:30
want you to win yeah I didn't do that but this kid's the real Casanova over there he is our entire life you know
00:26:35
here's my jealous my entire you're closer to him than you were to me no it's a longer friendship I've known him for so long long he's my oldest friend
00:26:42
in Los we're all about to be best friends for forever forever forever BFF okay so can I ask now I was listening to
00:26:48
ice cream by Sarah mlac yeah can we go back to yeah yeah ice cream better than sex yeah and I I remember there are
00:26:55
people in my life that were in it for a brief period and then they just disappeared and I just never saw them
00:27:00
again because they're dead no I don't know if they are or not hopefully but they were like so influential you know
00:27:06
what I mean in my Voyage or my journey to here what's taking you away from reaching out to them I don't know how to
00:27:12
even get a hold of anybody I just want to so I don't even know last names really so how influential could they have been you don't even know they're
00:27:18
[ __ ] pretty influential so may may may I give us an example I'm going to give you two examples if I may please may okay um
00:27:25
the first example is I remember I met a guy his name was Randy he was Jewish
00:27:31
okay I'm out and he looked like Stanley Tucci oo like at the time I'm back in yeah at the
00:27:38
time somehow at the time he was a little older than me maybe by 10 15 years and I
00:27:43
think that he had a weird like he looked like that and he had a job maybe he was a lawyer or going to law school how you
00:27:49
meet him I met him at improv class I'm out again yeah I'm out yeah so I was out
00:27:55
I was in I'm out so I remember back in the day I met him in Prof class and he remember we were
00:28:01
together and he goes hey man I was I was wondering I I think I was going to do stand I'm going to do stand up and I go
00:28:08
okay and he goes you should and you know we've talked about it before we should do it together I I'm too scared right so
00:28:14
remember we went to a place called Thomas Payne coffee shop and this is there was an open mic and he said come
00:28:21
and support me because I'm going to go up for the first time mhm and so I went there and then
00:28:26
he the host went up and he go does all right this next comic is Bobby
00:28:31
Lee he put your name put my name in the [ __ ] Randy right Randy and I remember
00:28:37
just going up and I I mean I wouldn't say that was my first time doing standard because I don't really say anything you're just [ __ ] around I
00:28:43
just went up there I like I didn't really sign up you know Randy did this and I just got off but it got me on
00:28:51
stage go Randy thank you Randy and then I started doing it a lot so we know who
00:28:56
to blame mhm right and then I never saw him again yeah how old was this man and
00:29:02
he was a lawyer he must have been like 10 or 15 years older than me at the time was an attorney yeah maybe and this was
00:29:08
like it's just for fun yeah I was like 23 so he must have been 20 33 Maybe So Randy if you're out there listening you
00:29:14
might have be in your 60s by now yeah yeah it's just somebody that I just want to say thank you to a beautiful really
00:29:19
nice yeah that's very pretty and there's another guy I'm glad you kept in touch with that guy you know how it's just people just
00:29:26
disappear and also can I just say my no you just kept going no but just also there was no such thing as cell phones
00:29:32
then right oh you could have sent a carrier pigeon to him or something I know I know but my point is it's easier
00:29:38
now but back then there was no cell phone and you know you're right there's people that I remember from the beginning that I don't know that we used
00:29:44
to hang out with back in the day I have no [ __ ] idea where they are we have no clue so the second guy was when I
00:29:50
became a comic at the La Hoya Comedy Store I moved in with the manager and the assistant manager of The Comedy
00:29:56
Store po both pass Jesus it was name Frank um it was um Ron
00:30:03
um [ __ ] first name's okay and then uh Fred Burns and there was another guy living
00:30:10
there who was super like those two were like kind of hostile I mean they they gave me everything the manager and the
00:30:16
assistant manager but the comic that lived there Frank monzano was a Mexican guy you know just a weird performer he
00:30:23
was so kind to me and very like supportive you know what I mean I just you know I haven't seen him I don't know where he is you know what I
00:30:29
mean anyway I mean those are do you have anybody in your life like that or no that disappeared just yeah lots I've had
00:30:35
lots of people that have quit or moved or you know I've spoken about friends on this show that guys that I started with
00:30:41
who I thought were [ __ ] so good and they quit for Jonathan godi M you I
00:30:46
remember him wait I know you said this name yeah yeah and then also there's another one um Dave Pierre but very
00:30:54
funny guy great name he was so funny I don't know what happened I think he's like teaching well I know there's a lot
00:31:00
of guys that I kind of used to do bar shows with and I know I've kind of run into them in the in the aftermath or
00:31:06
like had a you know a friend of a friend but they're a lot of them are out a lot of them [ __ ] grew up they got
00:31:13
pregnant had kids got jobs and they were like I can't play this [ __ ] [ __ ] game well they move out they move out of La well a lot of guys left the dream
00:31:20
yeah yeah it's a brutal business I get it I don't even know if it's a dream they just quit this [ __ ] Rat Race they quit this [ __ ] game what is it
00:31:26
about us that we H and suffer we're sick immature trauma addiction really you
00:31:33
name yeah I mean I think that's what there's something about my we're sick it's not resilience I mean I guess you
00:31:38
there is that is a word that we could use but it's like I just a normal person
00:31:44
wouldn't suffer that long but then people with a little bit of intellect
00:31:50
understand that suffering usually can yield something good if you really want it so lack of talent in anything
00:31:59
else he's right no what you [ __ ] you [ __ ] son of you [ __ ] dirty little
00:32:04
[ __ ] it's so funny it's fun and I'm grateful to meet you people like
00:32:10
you I'm it's fun it's grateful and I'm in complete gratitude I had a I had a Daydream today yeah this morning in the
00:32:17
shower can I share this and you may think I'm stupid there used to be downtown Los Angeles I believe in the
00:32:24
old Brewery building right maybe the old paps building I can't see Brewery
00:32:29
Brewery I know it's tough for you guys yeah that's like library for black guys there's something about we'll be right
00:32:39
back that's so good well it's not a library what do he say liary every black
00:32:44
friend I have says library but listen the paps brewery the old building downtown used to be an artist living
00:32:50
quarters I think if I'm not mistaken right and then what they did was they had the rent was subsidized so that
00:32:56
artists could live there for a uh for a nominal fee right yeah the Brewery Arts Complex has been called the largest live
00:33:02
and work artist colony in the world 16 acre compound right okay so dude hold on
00:33:07
let me look at bro bro what bro after after you say this I'm going to tell you
00:33:13
I've been there to the brewery to the artist complex yes you hooked up with someone there no okay hold on we'll get
00:33:19
to yeah yeah what I was going to do I had a thought I was driving on the freeway and I saw the old Brewery Smoke
00:33:25
Stack and it made me think I wish I wish you me a couple of other
00:33:32
name comedians could buy a building or buy a warehouse space and subsidize the
00:33:38
rent for young upand cominging comedians to live so we do a nonprofit where we wouldn't make a dime but we would just
00:33:45
make it would make enough money so it could sustain to have security upkeep and everything we would make no money
00:33:52
house rules you'd need some house R I would be the house rules guy you would not live there no know but I would have to have
00:33:59
like on the wall things you cannot do no no it would be run properly like a [ __ ] just house rules I don't care
00:34:05
what you're saying well what are the house rules yeah what are they um no [ __ ] other
00:34:10
Comics that's what I'm building this whole thing for is for them to all [ __ ] each other that's the whole point this
00:34:16
is likeor like this is like the Olympic Village oh oh this is his Hitler Youth
00:34:21
yeah 100% I want to indoctrinate these people move on I know what you're saying no [ __ ] other right I mean I just would want a safe space for everyone
00:34:27
that's all go ahead yeah of course that's okay all I'm saying I'm done all I'm saying is do you think this is a crazy idea it's a great idea dude I
00:34:34
really want to do it I want to buy a building we're never going to do it why not so expensive yeah not with that it's
00:34:40
not just you and I it's a bunch of other Comics imagine if we got like Burr Sebastian Dylan guys who have a couple
00:34:47
of bucks in their pocket who could buy a building and subsidize it for young comedians that'd be great how many people now number one cuz you know I
00:34:53
have the resources to start a nonprofit I know how to do all this stuff we can do it dude let's [ __ ] do it then you'll do it I will do it I swear to God
00:34:59
I want to do it but this is a big one for me house rule no it's even more it's
00:35:06
even bigger what okay I think you'd have to Showcase to get in there oh you can't
00:35:11
be [ __ ] you can't be [ __ ] to get a room interesting that's interesting we can't have crap so we have a little stage and
00:35:17
you have to showcase for the current residents to see if you get a room now do you have to keep showcasing as you live no they showcase for us so just you
00:35:24
and I sitting in a chair no we'll get a bunch of comics okay once a year you
00:35:29
know what I mean it's like getting passed yeah you get passed to live there you get passed to live but then every year you have to re audition because we
00:35:35
got to know that you're writing and working and you're not slipping you yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so tell tell me
00:35:41
about the brewery now that we know that that's a thing I'm proposing what are you calling this thing when you open it
00:35:47
um funny bone okay name it after another Comedy Club Workshop it more we got it I
00:35:52
think it should be called I Haven you know what I mean we'll call it the comedy mother ship I like that
00:36:00
it's we'll call it uh the compound the the comedy compound comedy compound how
00:36:07
about uh Chuckles
00:36:12
Chambers chuckle Chambers chuckle Chambers you want to go live chck CH how many how many people can live there I
00:36:18
think it's got to have like 10 Apartments 10 10 at a time we can't afford that big of a building with you and me and a bunch of other Comics we
00:36:23
can try our best well then they would the be the the future has to live there
00:36:29
I know you said they have to Showcase yeah I mean we there's no I mean I'm telling you in the shower this morning I thought this is a great idea it's a way
00:36:34
we don't earn a dime on this we'll probably lose a little bit of money but it'd be great also you can't I know
00:36:40
what's going to happen other open micers can I stay there overnight on the couch or whatever no crashing no it's timeout
00:36:47
we crashed we crashed it's a part of the culture how long can you crash one week only one week crash and you're not
00:36:53
allowed to crash for a week then go to another apartment you get one week of crash in the comedy in and what did I
00:36:58
call it a year or how long what was it called uh the the chu chuckle uh
00:37:03
compound no Chuck compound the chuckle what he just trying to tighten it up and
00:37:09
what did I call it the chuckle I don't even know seconds
00:37:16
ago okay no you get one week of crashing because crashing is a part of our culture okay we crashed I crashed you
00:37:21
crashed a lot about it all right you get one week of crashing inside there like a guy that lives there who that like the
00:37:27
manager like the guy that you know Guam in dude Guam is going to get security
00:37:33
he'll [ __ ] up he'll beat the [ __ ] out of people if they don't force the rules he will he lives there for free imagine if
00:37:38
that everyone does right huh yeah everyone lives for free no you have to pay it's subsidized you're paying a
00:37:43
certain amount of money to keep because it keep the thing going yeah cost at level so like listen instead of paying
00:37:49
what is an apartment now [ __ ] thousands of dollars ridiculous minimum yeah you pay like 800 bucks 600 bucks
00:37:55
800 bucks but that just goes for your your water and power and general living so we can free
00:38:01
Wi-Fi uh free Wi-Fi free Wi-Fi if you have 15 minutes if you have under 15 you got to pay I'd love to get behind it a
00:38:07
comedy com compound Five Guys five girls Five Guys five girls or maybe one
00:38:12
trans one gay smart see now we're getting into Equity diversity and inclusion and that's good can't avoid it
00:38:18
well then nobody needs to be the same you're right I we need a black guy and an Asian you know what I mean we can't
00:38:24
do that I'd rather I'd rather have two black guys and one Asian for sure it's just for trading oh really well for
00:38:29
trading you want you don't want things to efficiently [ __ ] whoa I'm talking about comedy wise there's almost none of
00:38:35
you that are good there's so many black Comics that are good how many funny Asians are there six Jason chenny Leslie
00:38:41
Lao Andrea Jen I mean I the list goes on that's six you just named the six that's it there's so many dude are you are you
00:38:47
how many funny black Comics are there a thousand they've been doing it longer that has nothing to do with it they have
00:38:54
yeah what are you talking about dude look okay you know who Flip Wilson is of course we know who flip wils but my
00:38:59
point being is is that comedy has been in terms of the black community a part of it since we started in the the new
00:39:06
modern version of standup in the 6s yeah because they're funnier than Asians no it it wasn't D because we're IM are you
00:39:12
trying to say that Asians are funnier than black Comics what I'm saying is that whoa that's a tough CL I didn't
00:39:19
[ __ ] say that you just said Bobby Lee you heard it here said Asians are funnier than blacks say that's what he said I didn't say that what I'm just
00:39:25
saying is is that you know I mean since we've like since Margaret I think Chris
00:39:30
Rock Wanda Sykes Dave Chappelle Cedric Kevin Hart whoopy Goldberg Richard PR Bernie ma Eddie Murphy Monique red fox
00:39:35
Martin Lawrence Chris tuer Tiffy hat cat WBS de hulie Jame Fox Tracy Morgan don't look up Asian Com I'm afraid that I'm
00:39:42
not going to be on the list you gotta be on that L
00:39:48
yeah here we go tough they're
00:39:53
six oh my God they're six I'm not even on it oh that says China in China Jim o
00:40:00
is the first China That's China it just I looked up Asian Comedia though that's just what it put comedi I know what else to look
00:40:07
up as Asian American comedians there's six there's five
00:40:13
there's five you got to put a plural put the S on the End by the way they threw in Cal pen too Korean 50
00:40:21
com oh [ __ ] the point is hey Google's proving my point leave it alone Google's
00:40:27
proving my point an endless list of great black Comics end asan I think you're Asian Excellence that's so funny
00:40:34
you are Asian excellent you're excellent just saying let's let's move on from let's move on let's move on from it
00:40:40
truly though yeah yeah tell me the story about the brewery how did you end up there in the
00:40:46
90s there was a [ __ ] cattle call for a sitcom do you remember what was called
00:40:53
No cleal but I remember going there and waiting in line for about seven hours
00:40:59
just chilling outside it was like one line gross right sounds like last com and I remember going in there and being thrown like on a chair saying one thing
00:41:07
I forgot what it was and they're I go go go and I remember walking out of that building going oh I'm never going to
00:41:14
make it you thought that was how it all that's how it all worked like this just [ __ ] one in a million you know I mean
00:41:21
waiting in line for that long it's like the Laugh Factory line the mic line yeah it's around the Cor will wait there from
00:41:28
10:00 a.m. I think it's open at noon or whatever or noon until the show oh yeah and they might not get on most don't
00:41:35
yeah they're just getting their name into the [ __ ] bucket I mean how [ __ ] crazy is that that's awesome did you ever do that of course I did what do
00:41:41
you mean I waited in every line I waited the fact I waited a Laugh Factory I waited at the store you did The Improv didn't have a line they didn't have that
00:41:48
thing they didn't have that thing I waited at the factory multiple times yeah and when you're waiting in kind of a line that like that long and you're
00:41:54
like and you don't even get on you're like oh this is almost impossible me and my buddy Kenner Shaw drove to [ __ ]
00:42:00
San Francisco for Last Comic Standing to sleep outside of cobs on the street to God do you know how far this is I sold
00:42:07
out six shows like three months in advance at cobs and that's how far I've come and thank you that means a lot that actually feels a lot in my heart I slept
00:42:13
on that street outside of Cobbs on [ __ ] wow for and I'm not kidding we drove to San Francisco I slept outside
00:42:19
on the concrete in a [ __ ] sleeping bag only to almost not get to audition
00:42:24
go inside tell a half a joke and they were like no thank you o o had to get right back in our car and drive down
00:42:30
back from San Francisco I remember I remember that I slept outside of the Improv for Last Comic Last Comic Standing too I slept outside of Fred
00:42:35
seagull on Melrose no yeah slept on Melrose oh my God and I remember there was a young girl there was a comic out
00:42:41
there you know who she is I think Tracy McDonald you know who that is I know her yeah Tracy was in line with us and Tracy
00:42:47
I'll never forget there was a moment where Tracy say Canadian comic yeah Tracy
00:42:52
said what if this was so creepy it had have been three or four in the morning she was in the like the camp next to
00:42:58
what a nice girl yeah she was great yeah Tracy said Hey what if one day this is a four in
00:43:05
the morning thought what if one day we're not funny anymore o and I was like what do you mean and she's like what if
00:43:11
we just stop being funny or thinking of funny stuff I was like that's impossible what do you mean like it's in your soul
00:43:17
you you you like humor she's like no no no cuz sometimes I feel like I might lose it and it'll never come back and I
00:43:23
was like shut up I went to lay down and my brain was like what
00:43:29
if what if we can never write a funny joke ever again what if I never think of anything funny again what if I never say anything what if I don't know what funny
00:43:35
is anymore it spun me out for like six hours yeah so thank you Tracy McDonald that that thank you no but she was she
00:43:42
but she was right though she had this Moment of clarity of like man what are we doing we're sleeping on [ __ ] Melrose yeah is this worth it do we want
00:43:48
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was worth it it was fun I tried here's I think the difference right is is that I
00:45:25
I honestly I I think that um a lot of people could make it you know what I mean I I you know I don't care what
00:45:32
where you come from you know you don't even have to be like naturally funny I just think that people can make it but
00:45:38
um we we can hit the ball when necessary when the time when the time is right I
00:45:44
just remember different moments in my life it's like I remember thinking to myself I have to hit this ball yeah you
00:45:49
don't have a choice I don't because someone so's in the audience and I have to [ __ ] hit a home run here and you do and yeah I was so I'm going to tell
00:45:56
you I can't say his name but I remember there was a there was a TV show that was
00:46:02
that did standup and I had already done it a couple times so they the third year they were like can you do it again and I go you know what I'll do it if you
00:46:08
brought my friend on it you got to tell me the TV show like a k Craig kilborne or something no I can't I can't tell you
00:46:14
because I don't want my friend my friend will cry if I say the story okay I need to he's already crying we blank it out
00:46:20
it was called funny kloo oh kloo yeah it was called kloo yeah I remember kloo you know on telmundo whatever yeah but um
00:46:28
and they go well who's your friend I I don't care you know I mean you're you're not going to watch him he's just going to do it you're like you're giving me a
00:46:34
spot and he has my one of my best friends is gets a spot that's really nice right and he used to do well on
00:46:40
stage regular at the store okay so I remember we're at the taping
00:46:45
now it's so [ __ ] crazy and I'm stand I'm sitting next to Joey Diaz hey kakaka
00:46:53
right and so my friend's going up right and so uh and he's super nervous which
00:46:58
is understandable sure it's TV right so I'm in the green room watching the monitor I'm like oh yeah there finally
00:47:04
right they bring him up and he comes up and he and he goes nothing comes out no yeah and then
00:47:12
he does this this is where I was like uhoh he he looks on the ground he goes and he starts mumbling no yeah yeah yeah
00:47:19
no buddy he literally starts mumbling to oh [ __ ] this is TV there's cameras on
00:47:26
right and then I remember um he's like maybe a minute or two in he starts getting the
00:47:33
nerve to tell a joke but at this point he lost the room it's gone it's gone he starts really bombing right and I
00:47:41
remember I had I had already gone up oh you already did great yeah I killed you're good right I killed right I left
00:47:47
him there you piece of [ __ ] okay not only did I leave him there I dude I was so
00:47:54
embarrassed would you get in the car and just go home yeah I go [ __ ] this guy no you [ __ ] I got on the so here's the
00:48:00
two thing no wonder why people from your past have just disappeared I was say this one of these guys you never spoke
00:48:06
to when you go to bat for somebody when you go to bat for somebody he had he had an off day right his first TV but I'm
00:48:13
gonna give him a compliment but this is okay so I leave so then Joey Diaz drove
00:48:20
him home but here's the sad part Joey Diaz on like 500,000 milligrams like I'll drive you [ __ ] yeah F this
00:48:27
[ __ ] car so you do five you know they take five or six shows in one night right so at the end of each show the the
00:48:33
booker gives you a money a check MH he waited at the end he never got a check
00:48:39
so not only did not get do well he didn't get he got edited on the show obviously oh my God got driven home
00:48:45
right well give him the money at that's triple Crow right right but here's here's the here's how he
00:48:52
wins I when we got I I I you know I still was friends with him Bitcoin he bought a bunch of Bitcoin in 92 a year
00:49:01
later I was watching comedy central just randomly and he had done premium blend what that was huge right huge and he
00:49:08
destroyed awes oh so he's fine he destroyed is he still working today yeah he destroyed but I just remember like
00:49:15
him you know some people can't hit the ball the first time is my point of but he got Redemption which is good CU he did he was he he always had it he had
00:49:22
the looks he always he had the skill it's just you know when you and you know the very first TV spot you do as a
00:49:30
standup is petrifying that's the scariest thing in the world it's probably one of the scariest things in the world like I did I remember when I
00:49:37
did Leno I was I'd never been more scared but I just remember walking out
00:49:43
and looking at the thing and going you have to kill you have to kill you have
00:49:48
to kill cuz Jay's right there yeah you got a little Chinese guy that's me on Len is that your first time
00:49:55
yeah wow I remember how nervous I was to do Conan it was probably nervous I've ever been man you were I was just
00:50:02
because I loved Conan so much and it was a big deal for me when they you know and you know what's so
00:50:08
funny is I submitted a year before and uh the booker who obviously not there is
00:50:14
gone now who's become a friend was like I don't like the spot I don't like the set and I was like [ __ ] and then called
00:50:22
and was like I saw you do a spot do that five I I was like oh re really like yeah
00:50:29
do that fine [ __ ] do that don't the other one don't submit do this just take out the two cuss parts that have swe
00:50:34
yeah that was it but then when I got there we were I was [ __ ] so nervous it's a good set it's just hard such a
00:50:41
hard it's such a hard thing never forget that people just get so we dying laughing on the way to that people get
00:50:47
so [ __ ] judgy about it but you're like it's you feel so it's the stress of that is so weird because it's live like
00:50:53
I can see it kind of in your eyes I know you yeah something in your eyes I was nervous yeah yeah so nervous you're fine
00:50:59
you can see all the stuff but there's a focus in your eyes right that I can tell and my [ __ ] that sweater was awful
00:51:07
it's like what a terrible [ __ ] choice you know by the way when I I remember buying that sweater scrounging the money together to buy that sweater and it was
00:51:13
out of my price range it was probably like $125 sweater yeah you know what I mean like I remember it was like a $100
00:51:19
sweater and I was like this is insane that I'm buying this [ __ ] sweater and God I thought when I put it on you look
00:51:25
great and less than a month later I was like you look [ __ ] ridiculous that is a stupid [ __ ] it's so no matter what
00:51:31
you wear on TV what was I wearing on my tonight's show you look like a [ __ ] idiot you always look dumb on these
00:51:36
tapings yeah you think they look good that actually looks kind of nice black is safe black and green pants it's
00:51:43
classic how old were you there Bobby I was 2002 oh 2002 22 years ago today
00:51:51
April 26 2002 wow just passed 22 years ago wow he was 30 you were years old
00:51:57
yeah what what people don't realize you were 30 right that's a 30-year-old man that looks like a 16-year-old boy yeah
00:52:03
that's good that's a good thing look like a high school move over ra matio yeah well there's a new 62y old
00:52:09
in I mean it's good it's good you age like a musroom but back then what people don't realize too is they're so word for
00:52:17
word like they they come out so many times to see you and they give you so many notes oh my God right so everything
00:52:23
is like you have to say it did you have q cards yeah so they offer they offer you if you may slip up they may have q
00:52:29
cards and I said no I don't want them because that will [ __ ] me up worse I'll look at a word and be like and he got
00:52:35
it I know exactly what I would do I would see a word and go [ __ ] that's it that would kill me that would [ __ ]
00:52:43
Ru I was like please no Q cards same thing with specials Comedy Central half hour most people used bullet points I
00:52:50
was like please God don't do that you hav memorized but some people get nervous like your boy who just gets down
00:52:57
oh my God I just even luk thinking about that his face this is great that was fun
00:53:02
that half hour was fun I told the story about this S I cried the moment I got off stage I asked my you cried I asked I
00:53:09
asked my you were there no I just remember the moment I asked my well he's in it though I talk about him in the
00:53:15
special my childhood best friend Sean Castello was there and he was backstage and he was in The Green Room with a few
00:53:22
people and I walked into the green room after I got off stage and I said hey man can you give me two seconds and he was
00:53:28
like yeah and he everyone's like so excited can you give me like two minutes and he was like yeah I was like
00:53:34
I'm just overwhelmed then he the moment he left the Green Room I was like yeah I was [ __ ] balling just cuz it was all
00:53:41
this energy and nerves and anxiety and it was Comedy Central it was a half hour it was like so important and I was like
00:53:47
I ate [ __ ] it was bad I was balling you think it was good Oh I thought I tanked I just I was spinning Oh I thought you
00:53:53
were like I'm I killed it I thought oh [ __ ] no I was spinning I was so sad I chugged a bottle of [ __ ] whiskey I
00:53:59
just sat in a chair just balling I'm like they're never going to air it they won't even air it that's I kept saying
00:54:06
yeah no but it was a good it turned out great I liked it a lot I because the pressure was so but it's also not it's
00:54:12
not club laughs no it's different out there it's a different set of laughs so you think you're bombing oh yeah because
00:54:18
you're not at the Ice House main room correct and also people don't know these are tapings I had zero um Fame
00:54:25
acknowledgement whatever this was like me Norman Soder we were all like kind of the same within the year of each other's
00:54:31
tapings nobody knew who the [ __ ] we were these are paid audience members these people have sat through
00:54:38
six other comedians yeah you're the [ __ ] fifth on the list of the night of three hours of standup they're tired
00:54:44
dude imagine they don't want to look at your dumbass imagine being a road comic Andrew right and you have no name you're
00:54:51
just doing the road so you're one of those acts right that people go hey honey what do you want to do tonight
00:54:57
well let's just go to the club see who's there we were those guys I was the GU I know but how much easier is it now that
00:55:02
we have fans no it's not that God bless the [ __ ] fans it's just that it takes that component out of it of like I'm
00:55:08
going to kill myself in this mu yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah if I'm going to bash my head to comp the Pepsi
00:55:14
machine outside my window going that some guy gets a soda at 4 in
00:55:20
the [ __ ] morning I remember that outside of my bedroom window the hum of a vending machine
00:55:28
and then a guy just 2:30 in the [ __ ] morning hey you
00:55:34
hear that in the [ __ ] hotel dude motels the amount of motels I've stayed in okay like the scene in big when he's
00:55:40
clutching the pillow and there's bullets outside raining through New York yeah so I I had to do a Col you know I did I got
00:55:46
bed bugs One Time by the way from a motel go ahead I'll tell you the story I did those College you know those College gigs you know what I mean and so back in
00:55:52
the day when you know you're a nobody right they go well you know you're going to go to God but then you have a day off here and
00:55:59
then you have to take a bus like you're Greyhound got to catch a Greyhound to this place right three bucks but in
00:56:04
between we know this old family in this town who like they like to bring in comics you can stay at their house stay
00:56:10
at their house right I it's nightmare 80-year-old white people right and they're like lights out at lights out at
00:56:17
10 sir no way right there's no internet then it's get out this was the original get out and cold as [ __ ] right and I
00:56:25
have like a blanket like one of those woolly like they smells like mothballs right and the pillow is like
00:56:30
made out of hay it's a hay pillow it's a hay pillow dude right and it's and the
00:56:35
slam the matx is that thing that when will William Wallace dies in the end of Braveheart that concrete yeah it's a
00:56:44
slab it's a slab they chopped his nuts off right yeah yeah the bed that Lincoln died in was more comfortable than so I
00:56:50
remember just laying there cold it's 10:30 I'm not going to be able sleep you what
00:56:56
full of their and at 6: in the morning you get a knock I like coffee is ready come on down for breakfast it's a
00:57:02
nightmare that's when you start spinning the the Chamber of the gun yeah and you I did that for years hated it so God
00:57:09
bless the fans thank you so much my God thank you so much more than anything but then also it's like don't don't go don't
00:57:15
go why is that guy get this right yeah right oh cuz I've been to Helen B yeah
00:57:22
dog and again and again and again again and again and you know you still have to deal with little rats like this guy
00:57:28
little [ __ ] rat brats I you know you think rat you think you can get away from rats well you let them in but the
00:57:34
rats are always there they find way theat the friends you make a long way I I just want a little reprieve from
00:57:42
hostility all right let's chat about some PO let go up this is a history lesson look at this in 1942 Chinese okay
00:57:47
here's why I'm pitching this to you I read this article and you want to do a movie and you want to star in a film you
00:57:54
and I are going to make a movie together that Nikki and I wrote yep but I said Bobby needs his own solo project his own vehicle in 1942 Chinese sailor pun Lim
00:58:02
what a name was aboard the SS uh Ben lemand when it was torpedoed by a German
00:58:07
u72 causing the vessel to sink limb found himself they should just say pun pun found himself alone on a life rra
00:58:13
without any means of of propulsion drifting aimlessly at se he sustained him he sustained himself by fishing drinking bird blood and even managed to
00:58:20
kill a shark using only a jug of water look at the last line miraculously
00:58:25
pun Sur survive for 133 days at Sea before being rescued look at pun's
00:58:30
little boat that he made dude look at that boat wow life of punon the life of
00:58:36
punon dude that what an intricate boat now what does this say about punon in general Asians are survivors what does
00:58:42
it say about punon in general punon is the best yeah that's what it means you're not getting better than punon are
00:58:48
you punon is what drives this world dude punon P punon yeah top [ __ ] I get what
00:58:54
you're saying I love punon the top is there anything better than punon punon for pre punon for
00:59:01
pre this guy's the [ __ ] man he killed a shark with a jug of water how did he do that I want you to play this movie
00:59:07
and Nikki's gonna write punon the story of P all over the OIC and you know what the movie's called oh wait stop stop
00:59:14
what did you just say you got to stop what did he just say I might walk off did he say I'll order the OIC if if we
00:59:19
want him to play Jim Christmas he the bets that's great that is funny [ __ ] it's not a fat it's a tighton Who this
00:59:26
is a typoon this is a typon he's not not on fire
00:59:31
not hey you got a typoon and the movie is called let's get
00:59:36
some punon that's so good let's get punon let get drowning in Poon well what is it you know like Get Shorty get punon
00:59:42
drowning in punon is so good drowning with poon uh no cuz he doesn't drown he
00:59:47
survives I like it's not good mcon get the let's let's get punon I won't do an
00:59:52
Asian accent please you have to you have to he's Chinese it's 1942 what do you think I'm going to write it in an Asian
00:59:58
accent I can't I I can't give me a line then you know that on final draft you can actually write with an accent now yeah open on I'll tell you open open on
01:00:07
interior ex yeah yeah yeah Universe give me some
01:00:15
lines um well he's talking to nobody but himself this has to be like a Tom Hanks
01:00:20
uh Castaway it's all you it's an internal dialogue I smell Oscar for this is great on the boat you talk like um a
01:00:28
Chinese guy but out out sea you sound like Bobby Lee that's great cuz you've been putting it on the whole time for
01:00:33
these [ __ ] people on the boat how about this I'm are going to the America but then out there you're like how do I
01:00:38
get [ __ ] water thank God I'm fin internal my internal thoughts are in my voice yeah God damn [ __ ] what
01:00:45
are you do right but oh my God so hungry that's what I just said but I just pissed you all right so
01:00:52
133 days the shark how do you kill the shark with well so I'm I'm in the boat
01:00:57
okay yeah oh well let's [ __ ] it I'll just do the accent yeah just do the accent do alive not I'm
01:01:05
so hungry yeah and I no water even though the water all around me MH but
01:01:11
it's salt B for right right right this is good punon
01:01:17
right but I have a joke what do I do with this jam it in my but hole no for
01:01:22
seual pleasure no no there's an opening here no PO no no or I could kill a shark
01:01:31
okay how the [ __ ] this guy kill a shark with a jug of a jug oh it's easy what
01:01:36
you do is this you Nick yourself this is what I would do Nick myself a little bleed bleed into the water right as soon
01:01:42
as that head comes out BK with a jug of water you're going to kill a shark how the [ __ ] did he do it then I don't know
01:01:48
punon is magical we know that yeah how big of a shark was it maybe it's a little like baby type not how do you get
01:01:54
bird blood well I bet I guarantee you birds birds would Birds who are flying over the
01:02:00
ocean often times settle on boats in motion they would probably settle on this little raft and he would cover them
01:02:06
up and grab them and break them and eat them yeah but the is is that a good substitute for water bird blood I mean
01:02:12
it sounds like pun did it yeah he sustained himself by drinking bir blood you would think maybe what bloody poon
01:02:18
bloody poon that's the name of the film but this is what's strange 133 days without water I thought you can only go
01:02:24
a certain amount of days without water three but he must be getting enough water from the bird blood yeah the bird
01:02:30
blood I think is the is the key or he had just a little bit of a jug of water and took a sip every like [ __ ] day
01:02:35
can you drink blood instead of water or something can you drink blood we know the answer to that oh yeah we're in Hollywood yeah I'm not talking about
01:02:43
baby blood blood and a necessity for human life is ironically poisonous drink ironically no it seems Seems right on
01:02:48
the money why is it say ironically do bird blood oh what does that say so medical experts warn you get very sick
01:02:54
from drinking it every day and fite a number of infections bird is bird the one reason blood is dangerous yeah bird blood though bird blood I want to know
01:03:00
about bird blood yeah if you're starving you're dehydrated holy [ __ ] no what does it say people people have drunk Turtle
01:03:07
blood in order to survive or the blood of a snake there's RIS of pathogen animal blood is not going to prolong your life extremely high in iron it
01:03:14
poison you at some point well punon lasted 133 days wow amazing but how did he know that no I don't think I think
01:03:20
this was just him guessing he was trial and eron all right right 100% pun Lim there he is zoom in does it say anything
01:03:26
else he holds the Guinness Book of World Records for longest time a drift at Sea alone that's incredible he used a water
01:03:32
Dr as a club to subdo the thrashing shark he hit it hard he was a 25-year-old Seaman from the south coast
01:03:37
of a seam a p pun and Seaman perfect South Coast to China when he hopped on a British merchant ship Cape Town South
01:03:44
Africa they left and a German uboat sunk that [ __ ] wow you know how crazy is is the only guy that lived and he
01:03:51
died in Brooklyn go down zoom in punon passed away yeah we did lose in we all L
01:03:56
we lost pun at some point pun passed away in Brooklyn in ' 91 at the age of 72 wow wow that's a young that's pretty
01:04:03
young for a guy that [ __ ] lived out at sea for 133 years I bet you he partied like an animal when he got home
01:04:08
is that him yeah there's punon right there that's perfect that's you he kind of looks like me that's what I'm saying amazing that's punon my dog that's you
01:04:16
your punon yeah by the way the fact that he could fashion a boat hold on yeah
01:04:21
that's you pun limb P limb P Lim d wow lives so will you let us write this
01:04:28
story I'd love to do it because I think you could play I mean like think of how much comedy you could put in this and contained comedy mhm can be there be
01:04:35
another boat we we have to insert something else cuz even Castaway packages were getting Mar Robbie's on
01:04:41
the other bat no I'm just pitching stuff we could yeah we could let's just think about it let me think she's German whoy
01:04:47
Goldberg thrown outy Goldberg is in the other boat whoopy Goldberg is German can we compromise no it's got to be
01:04:54
who not on well there's p po compromise yeah look at him yeah punon punon that well punon does not compromise yeah but
01:05:02
how can Matt okay what who saved him a boat finally came along I'm sure you
01:05:07
know after a boat is is attacked in N he was nearing land as the color of the sea was no it depends on who though it's
01:05:14
like if it's Germany on April 5th like [ __ ] April 5th three Brazilian fishermen found him nine miles off I love
01:05:20
Brazilian they're so nice they're the nice they're so nice they're so nice Brazilians oh he loses weight during the
01:05:25
it could be like a transformation thing like at the beginning like you do now and then by the end it could like help
01:05:31
like visually show the audience your transformation from a directorial standpoint it does make sense he lost 20
01:05:37
pounds it's not that much he's gonna need to lose a little that's what Tom Hanks did right he waited a year or something he shot one part for Cast Away
01:05:44
you're talking about Philadelphia different movie yeah same
01:05:49
themes same yeah same Po and AIDS just don't mix no they don't yeah they don't we don't want to insert that in this
01:05:54
movie yeah enough your jokes man killing it I'm literally tired of them I was
01:06:01
that's the last one you're a little slly I don't like it so it took him two weeks in a Brazilian hospital so maybe we
01:06:08
rescue you halfway through the film maybe the nurses have bubble butts well they're in Brazil okay good yeah I love
01:06:14
that okay good by the way seene maybe maybe the movie is this at a ceremony at the Seaman Church Institute of New York
01:06:19
in New Jersey his citation say that pun Lim displayed exceptional courage and
01:06:24
nursed him back to heal with tang yes yes with tang yeah that's the only
01:06:31
way to get poned back in it with a bunch of how long were you thinking about that job was it two minutes I wrote it before
01:06:38
I came here I sent him this article already oh yeah really good I said step up dude it
01:06:44
really good and honestly yeah what no one had ever survived that long at se not even close and no one will ever
01:06:50
break the record obviously but think about that oh the writer stated in limbs
01:06:55
deal was using the novel my star's destination yeah but that's still we still could intellectual property what's
01:07:00
three Mexican Sailors floated for 10 months from 05 to 06 the Pacific Ocean on a disabled fishing boat Mexicans are
01:07:06
the most resilient people on Earth amazing you know what happened with Spanish people you guys would have sunk you would have [ __ ] each other and sunk you would have Conquistador each
01:07:14
other yeah you have conistor each other we just gave them some mirrors and they gave us the country oh my God this guy's
01:07:20
uning so arrogant I hate it a fisherman from was apparently lost for 4 39 days
01:07:25
floating from Mexico to the Marshall Islands the on a raft that's the craziest [ __ ] when they just get on a raft and hope it goes the right way
01:07:32
that's crazy yeah like can you imagine I can't Jose Salvador alvara a fisherman who found
01:07:40
right this is the guy that went to the Marshall Islands he survived on a diet of raw fish Turtle small bird sharks and
01:07:45
rainwater this makes sense yeah that I get or people at the constellation like back in the natives back in there would
01:07:51
you know that look at the sky to see where they are and I mean we we still do that kind of today we do well don't we
01:07:58
use I don't think you weuse we use star mapping we still do star mapping yeah but you don't it's personally how do you
01:08:03
think I get around oh really you think I use Google [ __ ] Maps I don't trust that [ __ ] Tokyo and you look up or you
01:08:09
looking around I'm looking up the whole time uh oh the cop's like were you on your phone I was like look at us
01:08:15
scaring staring up the whole [ __ ] time that's why they have moon roofs oh I see that's
01:08:23
funny well left La thank you for being a bad friend
01:08:29
thank you so good
01:08:36
[Music]
