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Happy new year, bad friends. Well, 2026, I got a couple of shows. I'm going to be
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doing uh Windsor, Ontario, Canada, January 16th. Right after that, I'm in Bethlehem, PA. Come out. Uh also
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Hanover, Maryland. Then I'm in Atlantic City. Uh then down by San Diego, Bobby's
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hometown, Valley Center, which is inland a little bit, but by San Diego. Uh then
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I'm in Canyonville, Oregon. And then Bob and I are doing a show in Lincoln, California.
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>> Yeah, Lincoln, >> Bad Friends Live, uh over in Thunder Valley Casino, uh up there by
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Sacramento. Then I'm doing the Wind Casino in Las Vegas. And finally, the Little Roadie Fest out in Providence,
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Rhode Island in March. Go to Andrewsantino.com for those tickets. Andrewsino.com.
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>> You two are bad friends. >> Who are these two idiots? >> A white dude and an Asian dude. You two
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are disgusting. >> You two are something. >> We're bad friends. >> Your mom fell and you didn't help her.
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Rudy said, >> "What?" >> Rudy said you didn't help your mom and
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you >> because she was next to her. >> It's her mom. >> I know. I understand that. But when your
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mom falls, everyone knows this rule. When your mom falls, whoever's the closest picks her up. [laughter]
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>> Everyone knows that. >> That sounds like a good rule. >> Yeah. Yeah. She fell over and before I
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could respond, Jules was already picking her up. >> And And also, it's like when you're
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falling off of a chair, [snorts] >> dude. >> It's embarrassing. >> Yeah. It's what's going on.
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>> Well, when you reach a certain age, you're going to fall. And your mom fell
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while we were in Phoenix. And and I felt a little bad. >> Why? Because it's sad when old people
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fall. >> It is fall. [laughter] >> It's fall. It's winter. >> It is a It is a fall.
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[laughter] >> No, she fell over and I saw Jules do the movement of picking her up, so I didn't
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bother. >> But Jules did Jules did the fake where you're like, "Oh, oh, oh." But you
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didn't really She doesn't really >> No, she did. >> Oh, really?
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>> Yeah. She's a caring person. >> She is. >> And then my mom goes, "Uh, I like her."
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>> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah, >> we had a great time in Phoenix. Uh we
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were opening for Shane Gillis >> who who probably once again cracked a record of ticket sales out there in
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Phoenix. The guy >> was incredible. >> 20,000 something like that. >> Normand you, me, McCusker,
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>> Nate. >> What a lineup. >> It was an unbelievable lineup. >> The black guy. [laughter]
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>> Nate. >> Nate. >> Yeah, his name is Nate. >> He's awesome. When I was on stage, I was
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just like, "Run of applause for Santino McCusker Normand." >> I forget because I forgot that black
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guy's name. [laughter] >> Did you really? >> Yeah, I was going to say black guy, but
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I thought in front of 18,000 people, I don't think you're just so calm up there
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>> and in control. >> You have to be. >> I think if you go up there and you show
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any semblance of like nerves, I was more nervous yesterday for the Special Olympics.
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>> Oh, dude. Bro, let me say something about that. What's so funny? You're a great catcher.
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[laughter] >> You were a really good catcher. >> Yeah. Yeah, I'm a good catcher, dude.
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>> Dude, no. And he was throwing it back with like some heat on it. >> Yeah. Yeah,
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>> it was pretty good. >> With a serious face. >> No, he was genuinely in there.
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>> Yamamoto style, dude. >> Yeah, dude. >> I'm a little shy, dude.
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>> Well, that two different guys, but yeah, [laughter] >> that's not show Yamamoto.
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>> Yeah, it can be. >> No, dude. I Yeah, I have those Asian baseball skills.
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>> You really do? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> It's like it's in your blood. I can tell
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the way you set up to the ball, the way you throw. >> Yeah. I didn't want to bet because I
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didn't want to like bury Bill Burr. >> Yeah. Oh, >> and Burke. >> Yeah. You didn't want to
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>> because Chryser and Burke showed up. >> Let me Can I just say something about
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the Special Olympics thing event you did? >> Yeah. >> I was I felt I was sitting there in the
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stands watching you coach them. >> And I was like And then it's your event
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and I was like, what a good guy he is. >> You're a really good guy. >> I just It was
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>> No, no, you're a good person, dude. >> It was fun, man. Yeah,
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>> I think it's a rad thing to do >> for you to take your day out like that
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and get everyone to go. >> Cris was there doing the announcing. >> Nick was killing it. And I will say and
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shout out to the people that showed up and and Frankie Kenones came as Creeper >> as Creeper Cholette. Did you Were you
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there? >> No. Where was he? >> Oh, bro. It was so sick. He came later
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cuz he had something to do in earlier in the day. And Creeper showed up and he was like he was like walking up to the
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mount. HE'S LIKE, "HEY, BRO. PITCH. I'M A PITCHER." AND HE WAS HE was throwing
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pitches and he was dancing like robot in between pitches. >> Oh, dude. one of the funniest guys,
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funniest dude. >> Is so so dope. And and then he went up to everybody as Creeper and like took
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photos and was talking to them and stuff. >> Yeah, >> it was Dude, it was such a fun day.
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>> He's a good dude. >> It was a super fun day. >> Yeah. But the just the um that you do
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you do care and I um >> Oh, yeah. >> I want to get involved. >> I
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>> I got to do a charity. >> I think we should we should do more. >> No, I want my own charity. What do I do?
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>> What charity would need? Who needs the most money? >> Yeah. I just want to be able to
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participate here. >> You know, we you know what we should do? We should do Big Brother
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>> where we like because we don't have kids so we should like adopt you know like
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Big Brother like you take them on the weekend to do cool [ __ ] Young kids without
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>> How many times? >> Huh? >> How many times do you do it? >> It depends on the person.
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>> Depends on the person. >> Every weekend. >> That's not every weekend.
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>> Yeah. I could do it is a commitment for a few years until they >> Can we choose Can we choose the kid or
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No, >> you're usually assigned. >> You spin a wheel. Oh, really?
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>> And then click. >> Oh, Puerto Rican. >> Oh, that's cool.
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>> Puerto Rico. >> Yeah. >> I think it's awesome. And you and you
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take him out and you kick it with him. You take him to go eat food, to play video games. Like, dude, we are big
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kids, you and I. We're essentially just big kids. >> We're doing big brother.
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>> I think it's huge. >> Yeah. What do Do I get a weekend alone?
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>> You take the kid. You take the young. >> No, because what? I'm going to spoil the
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[ __ ] out of the kid. >> I know. Well, no. No. They tell They do tell you you got to be careful with
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that. >> Why? They do a re research on the people, you know, and uh back background
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checks and all of that. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> You're the foreigner. Who are you
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talking to? >> Who you talking to? >> Who you talking? >> I have no criminal history.
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>> I had I >> I have no criminal history. >> My wife had one for a long time. So I we
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would take her I mean it was big brother's big sister. So we could do the same with girls
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>> and we would take her to Disneyland and things like that. It was >> Yeah. So, if I took our little brother,
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>> our little brother, >> right, to Disneyland, the the foundation would be like, "Nah,
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>> no, no, no. It's all good." But there, but there I think >> you can do the VIP thing that you like
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to do. >> I'm doing the VIP. [laughter] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Lightsaber is the whole
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thing. >> You want a lightsaber? You get three of them. >> I do think that's the move.
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>> Yeah. >> Like you break all those rules and give them a magical day. I think Big Brother,
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big sister's rad. We should do that. >> Yeah. Um, no, we should do it.
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>> I got you a little gift, by the way. This is from my friends. >> Okay. God. My friends at at Bettonardy,
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the putter guys, the putter company that I love, they they made you custom chopsticks. Look at how sick.
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>> Are you being real? >> 100%. >> Take them out. Look at how sick those
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things are. >> These are so sick, dude. >> And they're like high quality. I think
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you'd like the purple, right? >> I do. They're a little heavy though.
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>> Yeah, but heavy is good. >> Yeah, heavy is good. >> M smooth, baby.
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>> Yeah, >> they look so natural in >> Are they really [laughter] mine?
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>> Yeah, they're made for you. >> Okay, thank you. >> Custom.
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>> The leather. You can smell the leather. >> Love the smell of leather. Yeah, I
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really do. And then uh it says B on it. Is that >> that that's B for Bobby?
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>> No. >> Yeah. >> Are you being real? >> That's a That's your name?
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>> Yeah. Wow. Thank you so much. >> That's going to be there for 6 months.
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[laughter] >> At least. >> One of the guys will take it home. >> Yeah.
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>> They'll take some of the scraps. Are you drinking coffee right now? It's 8:00
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p.m. >> Yeah. >> What's going on? Are you got a set tonight? >> No.
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>> So, you want you do cuz I go down to the hallway. I go down to the lobby at
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Phoenix to go get the car. He's already down there. He's cruising, but he's wide
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awake. And I was like, "Oh, someone's someone's nice and awake." He's like,
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"My never went to bed." >> Oh, do I didn't sleep. I I'm not getting
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you like four days in a row. I would get like a couple hours, but it's like now
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you're not dreaming. You're just laying there, right? And you're having horrific
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thoughts. >> What? >> You're drowning. You want a fire? All that stuff. You know what I mean?
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>> That's not normal. >> Yes, [laughter] it is. >> No. to have like just negative thoughts
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when you can't sleep. >> Yeah. Where I'm trapped in a mine. You know what I mean?
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>> Tony. Tony. And like, you know what I mean? Rubble up to my neck, right?
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>> Tony. >> Tony H. was like, "What the [ __ ] do you want?"
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>> Yeah. It's not that Tony, but you know, it could be. >> Death in a dream may not actually be
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dying. Instead, it often represents change. The closing of a chapter or the end of life as you know it.
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>> It could be. >> I don't think you're even close to dying.
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>> Yeah. Yeah. >> I have I have death dreams a lot. It's not healthy. Who dies in your dream?
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>> I'm always close to death. I'm usually on a plane that's crashing and I make my
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>> But they say that if you really die in a dream, you die in real life. Is that
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true? >> I don't know. >> Yeah, Google it. What? >> You wake up.
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>> No, no, no. Yeah, but you But you But if you really die in a dream, that mean you
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die in real life. That's what I heard. >> How would we know that? [laughter]
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>> You wouldn't. That's the thing. >> So, who would know that that's true?
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>> What? >> Dying in dreams does not mean you die in real life. >> It's a common myth.
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>> It's [laughter] a huge myth. >> That was a movie. >> It's a common myth.
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>> Like, yeah. Yeah. Well, I believe in myths, dude. I'm a myth guy, dude.
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>> You're a huge >> I'm a myth guy, dude. [laughter] You know what I mean? I love fables. I love
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myths. You know what I mean? I love stories of all kinds. >> Give me a fable.
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>> What? >> Give me a fable. >> Well, long ago, Idiom Malo from um what?
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>> Idiom. >> Idiom Monolo. [laughter] >> Idiomalo. >> Yeah. You know the story?
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>> I've heard it. Yeah. Once. >> Yeah. He was a farm boy. >> A farm. Oh, was a farm boy.
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>> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> In a little island. Indigenous island. >> He was farming on an island.
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>> Indigenous island. So he's farming for indigenous people on an island.
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>> He is indigenous. >> So he's just getting food for himself. [laughter]
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>> I could have said it that way. Yeah. Yeah. So indigenous, right? Not indigenous idiom.
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>> Idiom. >> Idiom. >> Are you saying idiamin? >> No, not idiom. That guy's a bad guy.
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>> What did he do? >> He slaughtered people. >> How many? >> I don't know. Millions.
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>> Mhm. >> Idiom. Yeah. >> I like how you're >> You know what I mean? What? I didn't
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know that was a real person. >> Yeah. Look up idiom. You mean how many people?
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>> I thought you made up a name. I didn't go to college. >> No. Idiom was a I don't know what's
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going on today. >> Oh, he wrote Idiom. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Ed Ei. Yeah, there he is.
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>> Oh, look at Am I? >> Edin. >> Yeah. How many people did idiom mean
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kill? >> Kill count is so funny to type inif 500. A half a million. >> He's good.
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>> He's pretty good. >> Not the best. >> Not the best. Pot was better. Way
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better. >> Yeah. Yeah. Paul was >> president while he was an 8-year ruler
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of the president of Uganda. He approximately killed That's a huge gap. 100 grand to 500 grand. 400,000 people
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is a big gap. >> But if you do it incrementally, not at one time. >> Yeah. It's like it's like uh what's his
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name? Sleeping with all those women. Will Chamberlain. >> Yeah. >> It's kind of like if you did it over
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time, we did the math. It's like seven a day. >> Yeah. >> Half a million people. Dude, that's
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crazy. >> Yeah. But for what? >> Power. >> It's power. >> That's what he was doing. anymore power.
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>> I'm so guiltridden. There's no way I could even do one for power.
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>> You couldn't kill one person. There's not one person you think about.
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>> It depends on what they did. >> Let's say I'm I I I I'm a I'm a general
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of some sort of small country somewhere far away. You're my lieutenant and you
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ask me, you tell me what happened and I'm going to say if I want them killed
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or not. >> Yes, >> sir. >> Yes. Uh, one of our ends. >> What's your name?
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>> Makta. >> Makda. What's up, dog? >> What? [laughter] >> What is up?
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>> I haven't seen you around a long time, Makda. How's the family?
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>> Very good, sir. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Makda. >> Yes. >> I don't want that.
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>> That's your >> make up something. >> Oh, >> make up Makda.
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>> Makda. >> Makta. So, any anyway anyway, what's the problem? Makda.
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Somebody came to our barracks while we were sleeping. >> Kill them. [laughter]
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>> Kill them all. His whole line. His family line, right? Uncles, aunts. >> He was just dropping off food.
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>> Door Dash. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Kill them all. [laughter] In
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fact, kill everyone that's doing Door Dash right now. No. Um, no. It would have to be like they destroyed a
00:12:06
village, right? And they, you know, for no reason. Yeah. For no reason or something. Imagine being a soldier and
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door dashing something while you're like waiting for war. >> That'd be amazing.
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>> And some guy, some Russian guy's like, "Dores dash drops it off." He's like, "I
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have to get picture of you with it. [laughter] Why do they always have to get a [ __ ]
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photo?" I was like, "I you handed it to me." And like he's like, "I need photo."
00:12:28
The guy dropped off last week, dropped off pizza. I was like, "Thanks, man."
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Cuz I saw him at the front gate. Thanks, man. And he's like, "Wait, wait, wait,
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wait, wait." And I was like, "What?" He's like, "I need picture." And I was
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like, "Of He's like a picture of delivery." I was like, "Oh, okay." So
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then then I was like, "Well, I don't want to be in it." So I put the pizza
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back out and like closed the door. So it's just my hand holding the pizza [laughter]
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>> for the photo. And I was like, "Good." He's like, "Okay." And I took it back
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inside cuz I don't want to be holding the pizza for and his photo. Yeah. >> I don't know what they do. They upload
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that to the app for proof that they dropped it off. >> And in my neighborhood now, there's
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[ __ ] robots everywhere. >> I love them. >> I hate them. They don't go to your
00:13:07
neighborhood. They can't get up there. >> They can't get up there. I live in the
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hills. [snorts] >> Yes, he does. >> But um I got a pizza from >> The Hills Have slanted eyes. [laughter]
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>> That's good. That'd be a funny movie. [laughter] >> That's a horror movie.
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>> The Weighins Brothers present. >> The Hills Have Slanted Eyes. >> Yeah.
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>> I got a pizza from Prince and the dude left it on the ground and I was playing
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video games. I'll get in 30 minutes. Mistake. >> Tell me what happened. It got eaten by a
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coyote. >> No ants. >> Oh yeah, dude. Ants. >> It got in there, dude. I opened it up.
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It was just filled with ants. >> Oh my god. >> You waited 30 minutes.
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>> Yeah, but I There's a little table outside my >> What? No, I threw it away.
00:13:53
>> There's a little table next to my front door that you put the [ __ ] on. You just
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put it on the ground. >> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah, it pissed me off. >> You should say in the app, you can say,
00:14:01
"Please leave on table." >> Yeah, >> you can put it in the notes.
00:14:04
>> Yeah, I should do that. >> I give them notes all the time. >> What are your notes? Um, don't come near
00:14:09
my house. Drop it off on the sidewalk. [laughter] Pick up the dog [ __ ] in the yard on the
00:14:14
>> Yeah. >> No, I give them notes if it's like, "Hey, I'm not gate's open, I'm not
00:14:19
there. Just drop it off inside the gate." >> Yeah. >> Cuz a lot of times they like if they see
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sometimes I'll have like a delivery and if the gate's not open, they'll just
00:14:27
leave. Yeah. >> I've seen them just like leave. I'm like, "Wait, wait, wait. Where are you
00:14:31
going?" >> Yeah. >> It's the weird I'm like, "Just throw it
00:14:33
over the fence or whatever it is." >> Yeah. Do you do priority? Oh, I don't
00:14:36
No, that's a scam. >> What? >> Dude, I'll do priority and not to test
00:14:40
that theory out. We did this years ago. >> Yeah. >> Or not years, whatever. When it first
00:14:44
started, we tested it. >> It was almost the same time. And you just pay five more bucks. It doesn't
00:14:49
even make sense. >> So, they don't go to your house first. >> No, they don't. I They do not do that.
00:14:54
That's a lie. Cuz I've done both ways. >> I don't know. >> It's been the same. They defin
00:14:58
>> You can tell if the food's warm or cold. >> I feel like it's always cold.
00:15:03
>> Yeah. >> No matter what I get, it's cold. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't ever get a
00:15:06
warm and you you wait 30 minutes. It's always cold for you. >> Yeah. >> I don't think I've ever
00:15:10
>> I got something today that was so [ __ ] cold. You know what it was? >> Ice cream. [laughter]
00:15:17
>> I'm on fire. >> Killing it. Right. >> I'm on fire today.
00:15:19
>> Settle down. >> Yeah. Yeah. [laughter] >> What kind of ice cream did you get?
00:15:22
>> I like butter peacon, Rocky Road, mint chip. Those are my top three. >> That's top three?
00:15:26
>> Yeah. >> I don't do this new [ __ ] like, you know what I mean? Goat cheese, you know what
00:15:31
I mean? Dandelions and you know I mean baklava shavings. It's so good. >> You know how they do that?
00:15:36
>> Yeah. It's like [ __ ] off. >> So good. >> No, dude. >> You never had coffee toenails?
00:15:41
[laughter] >> I don't do coffee toenails. >> One of my favorites. You got to get over
00:15:44
to what is it? Salt and straw. They're the ones that do that. Sometimes they'll
00:15:47
put one out that that is genuinely it's like lavender fart. And you're like,
00:15:50
"Sorry." >> Yeah. Yeah. >> And they're like, "It's one of our
00:15:52
college kids made it this morning." >> Yeah. It's like they experiment, which
00:15:56
is fun. But >> pear and blue cheese. I had that. It's actually [ __ ] good.
00:16:01
>> The one you're talking about is black olive brittle and goat cheese.
00:16:03
>> Yeah. Get the [ __ ] out. >> Get the [ __ ] out here, dude. >> It's not ice cream. Duck skin. Well,
00:16:08
>> duck skin. >> Yeah. >> You think that's good? >> I mean, it's probably from a Chinese
00:16:11
restaurant for sure. >> Yeah. >> Creepy crawler critters. >> This is all salt and straw.
00:16:16
>> Yeah. Which is, you know, probably one of the best ice cream places on planet
00:16:20
Earth. >> It's got there's a lot there's a lot more. >> But I'm more old school. Like I could
00:16:26
just do >> like a Van Luen guy. >> No, I could just do [ __ ] BaskinRobins, dude.
00:16:32
You get a Banana Royale. >> You're out of That is >> Have you had a Banana Royale?
00:16:36
>> There's so many good new ice cream. Like McConnell's >> McConnell's is great. McConnell's great.
00:16:40
>> Vanlu. >> Vanluin's pretty good. Yeah. >> I mean, these are all better than
00:16:44
BaskinRobins. >> Yeah, but I can still just do a Banana Royale. Look at that thing.
00:16:48
>> No. >> Okay. >> I'm not [ __ ] with Baskin Robbins. >> Especially now cuz you can buy those
00:16:52
good ones like Jenny's. You can buy them at the grocery store. Why am I going to
00:16:56
Baskin if I can go get better [ __ ] at the at the grocery store for the same price now?
00:17:02
>> Because Baskin's there's more of them. >> Like for instance, if you want to go to
00:17:06
um um Salt and Straw, right? You got there's three locations >> and there's and there's 30 people on
00:17:12
>> and then there's a huge line. You I mean as if they're getting Taylor Swift
00:17:15
tickets, you know about that. But my point is is this [laughter] it Yeah. But um with Baskin Robbins,
00:17:22
there's never anyone anyone there. You know what I mean? Yeah. >> The worst is when there's a gigantic
00:17:27
family. >> That's their slogan. Baskin Robbins. There's never anyone here. [laughter]
00:17:32
>> Come on in. There's never anyone here. >> There wasn't. There used to be one on
00:17:36
Magnolia in Burbank I used to go to. It's literally >> So, you have been
00:17:40
>> It's empty. >> You have been? >> I had been. Yeah. >> And I stopped cuz I was like, "This is
00:17:43
not good." >> And the one teenage tweaker that's working there, not in I didn't like it.
00:17:48
>> Yeah. >> He He just His vibe was weird. >> Yeah. I hate those energy.
00:17:52
>> The teenage meth vibes, dude. And Wait, what? What do you want? >> Like, what the [ __ ] dude? I've just got
00:17:59
in here. No, you have experimenting. >> That's who's there. I can't do it, dude.
00:18:03
Oh, also, by the way, they don't have 31 flavors anymore. That's also a myth.
00:18:08
>> Yeah, it's not. It's 18. Change it to 18 flavors. >> They don't even I don't think they
00:18:12
feature 31. I don't believe >> they don't. They don't. >> When I'm ever in there, it's always like
00:18:16
10 flavors. They have 31 flavor at any gi says about 31. Yeah, [ __ ] Yeah, >> cuz that one that I'm talking about,
00:18:22
they never had they had like maybe 10 max. >> I give them 12 on a good day.
00:18:28
>> This is quality control that's gone downhill, by the way. This is why
00:18:30
they're getting beaten by the other big dogs. >> Wait, what's what's the ice cream store?
00:18:34
Handles. Have you been to Handles? >> I don't even think that's right.
00:18:40
Handles. >> Yeah, >> Handles. >> Yeah, >> sounds Jewish.
00:18:43
>> Oh. Oh. Oh. Handles. That's how you say that. Shut up. [laughter] >> It's a hands.
00:18:53
>> It's Jewish. Handell. That's the last name. >> Yeah. Handells.
00:18:56
>> Handel. >> You know why I like that? >> Howie Mandel. >> Oh, I see.
00:19:00
>> Handell. >> Handell. Okay. >> Yes. Homemade ice cream since 1943.
00:19:05
Handel's ice cream. We're also a bank. [laughter] >> Handels is really good.
00:19:10
>> I'd like to make a deposit and also get a rocky road to go, please. It's a bank
00:19:15
ice cream store. [laughter] >> Handel's ice cream. It's kosher. I imagine.
00:19:21
>> What does kosher mean? >> Huh? >> What does it mean? >> Kosher means like the blessed
00:19:25
>> it's No, but it also means two things don't touch. Like two meat and cheeses
00:19:30
don't touch. >> Ah, >> right. Like kosher means fit and proper. Refers to according Jewish dietary laws
00:19:36
which dictate permissible ingredients preparation separation of food like meat and dairy. They cannot touch. ensuing
00:19:41
items are richly pure and fit for consumption, which is [ __ ] crazy because meat and cheese is like my
00:19:47
favorite [ __ ] on earth. >> Yeah. >> At at the house, I'll roll up some meat
00:19:51
on some cheese and that's a snack to go. >> I love that. >> One of my faves. Not kosher. Uh oh. Pig
00:19:58
is not kosher, right? >> What else? >> Uh >> is that a falcon? What is that?
00:20:02
>> All scavenger. All scavenger and predatory birds are not kosher. >> Ah, like you can't have eagle.
00:20:10
>> Mhm. should shouldn't. >> Yeah. Yeah. Very [laughter] good though.
00:20:13
>> It's so good. >> It's so hard to catch, but you know, >> you know how hard it is to catch those
00:20:18
eagles? Oh my god. >> Okay. And then if something doesn't have both fins and scales.
00:20:22
>> Oh, so you can >> Example would be crustaceians, mollisks, water.
00:20:25
>> What about platypus? [laughter] There's there's a lot going on there. Can't do
00:20:28
it. >> Yeah. Yeah. You can't Why >> can't do it? >> Okay. You can't. All right.
00:20:32
>> Meat and dairy together. And then loin, sirloin, rump, flank, and heel steak.
00:20:37
So, anything behind. So, they can't have the back half of the cow. >> They can only have Chuck, Rib, shoulder,
00:20:42
and plate. >> No gay stuff. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. No gay [ __ ] [laughter] Yeah.
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00:23:02
>> Pulling muscles from a shell. >> Great. Squeeze. Great song. >> Such a good song.
00:23:06
>> Squeeze is such a good band. >> Isn't it really though? >> Yeah. Yeah.
00:23:10
>> It's one of those bands that's underrated. I think people don't People
00:23:12
don't really know. >> Squeeze is such a good band. >> Oh, dude. I heard a song yesterday. I
00:23:15
was going to text you. >> Which is it? >> Um because I was like, you know how
00:23:19
sometimes you don't hear a lyric? You've heard it for years, >> but then you don't think anything of it
00:23:23
and then you hear it again and you're like, that's what the [ __ ] they were
00:23:26
saying? >> Yeah. like you know what they're saying. But um it's a song where he says uh he
00:23:31
says um and uh uh uh I've never seen you do that before. That was scary. [laughter]
00:23:41
>> Something happened. >> No, but you know it's like uh but get behind the wheel. [laughter]
00:23:47
>> What the [ __ ] Who does that, >> dude? >> Yeah. [laughter]
00:23:53
It's like a chess master would do that if they lost >> like a finger going.
00:23:56
>> They go check [laughter] >> I can't think of the name of the song I
00:24:01
was thinking of too and it goes get behind the wheel of a thing and it's like after you're drinking you talk
00:24:06
about drinking then after you after you then you get behind the wheel and crash into a [ __ ] something
00:24:11
>> and it's just and that's not what the song is about. >> Yeah.
00:24:14
>> I'm so bummed that I can't think of that. >> You know what song that you got me stuck
00:24:17
on >> and I'm [ __ ] mad that you influenced me in this way. What? Oh,
00:24:23
>> let's Black Eyed Peas. Let's get it started. >> Oh, no. >> Oh, [laughter]
00:24:27
>> guess what it is? Guess what it is. >> Um, what song did I get you stuck on?
00:24:32
I'm thinking what I just recently gave you. >> I'll give you the gist of it.
00:24:36
>> Yeah. >> What? >> That's not it. >> That Bill Nye song is so good. Wait,
00:24:40
play this real fast. This makes me laugh so [music] beer. Pause it. They can't say Bill, so
00:24:50
they say beer. Beer. Beer. [laughter] It's the funniest. >> The Chinese.
00:24:57
>> They're so [ __ ] fun. Look, you guys are great filmmakers, but you don't do
00:25:00
fun [ __ ] like that. >> That's fun. >> Yeah. >> When you say you beer,
00:25:06
>> when you say you guys, what the [ __ ] do you mean, dude? >> Koreans, you [ __ ] [laughter]
00:25:10
>> Korea. I just said you guys make great film, but you don't do goofball [ __ ]
00:25:12
>> I can say beer. >> Beer. Beer. >> Beer. >> But this is what the Japanese and the
00:25:17
Chinese do the best. >> I'll tell you the song. >> Weirdo stuff. Oh, give me a hint.
00:25:20
>> All right. Uh, it's about um it's about a guy who's in a different country and
00:25:25
he needs something from his dad. >> He's in trouble. >> Lawyers, Guns, and Money.
00:25:31
>> Oh my god. >> Every day I listen that song. >> It's such a good song,
00:25:34
>> dude. That song Warren Lawyers Guns and Money. >> I listen to it every day because OF YOU.
00:25:39
>> SEND LAWYERS GUNS AND MONEY. >> THE [ __ ] HAS [laughter] HIT the fan.
00:25:43
>> Yeah. Another one is the werewolf song. I liked it too. >> Oh, werewolves of London.
00:25:46
>> Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that kind of sounds like your stuffing. [laughter] Hi, G. I shall beer beer beer beer beer.
00:26:02
[laughter] >> Warren Zvon, that album will get you. It's uh uh not relatable boy. Why can't I think of
00:26:12
the boy? >> Excitable boy. Sorry. Oh, so >> what a talent. It's funny. It's like you
00:26:16
discover things like you I'm a music guy. >> Yeah. >> But it just I never was introduced to
00:26:21
him >> really >> until I met you. >> It's so funny. This is exactly something
00:26:25
you would love. >> I know. I like I can't believe it. Like I you know when I listen to it now I'm
00:26:30
like it's so interesting because maybe I you know another band that was like that
00:26:34
with me is Joy Division. >> Oh I love Joy Division. >> Yeah. I saw I didn't like Joy Division
00:26:40
until I saw 24-hour party people. You ever see that movie? Mm- >> It's about the Manchester music scene
00:26:45
and Joy Division's in it. There's there's like a club scene >> where um Joy Division is playing and
00:26:53
you're going, "What is this?" >> And they're playing in the movie as
00:26:56
themselves. >> No, they're not in the movie. There's actors playing Joy Division. And the guy
00:27:00
does such a good job at portraying Ian Ian McKay. Ian Curtis. Ian Ian Curtis. >> And I'm like, "Holy [ __ ] who is this?"
00:27:08
And then I Googled it. I was like, "Oh [ __ ] it's Joy Division." And then I
00:27:11
just got became obsessed. But it just never was something that when I initially heard it,
00:27:16
>> you know, it didn't land. >> It didn't land with me until
00:27:19
>> Steve Kugan is so talented, by the way. It's like one of the one of the
00:27:22
funniest, smartest dudes. I think it's so funny how like American culture doesn't really know Steve Kugan.
00:27:28
>> Yeah. >> I would you'd argue most Americans don't know who that is, right?
00:27:31
>> Damen Cochburn. >> Yeah, Mr. Cochburn. >> You see these? >> The trips are great. That's why
00:27:35
Americans might know them because of the trips, but I just think they're so popular in in England and not as much
00:27:40
here. >> Yeah. >> But those movies are so good. The original Trip is the best.
00:27:43
>> What is it? >> It's just like it's them two. It's literally like a kind of like a loose
00:27:48
It's like a loose concept film about these two. It feels Docu style, but it's
00:27:53
not. >> But it is >> heightened versions of themselves. They're in Hollywood still. Like
00:27:58
>> it's them, but it's not. It's It's very brilliant. And it's just two best
00:28:02
friends on vacation. And they just get themselves into some [ __ ] >> Oh, they're movies.
00:28:07
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. There's a series. >> Are they good? >> They're fantastic.
00:28:10
>> They're funny. >> We should do that. >> Yeah. >> We should do that. We should do our
00:28:14
version of the trip. >> Yeah. >> I went to um a Christmas party last
00:28:17
night. >> Who? Who? >> Art and Marin. >> Oh, I know. I heard you told me this.
00:28:21
But it was her and Bert. >> Bert was there. Yeah, it was her party, but Bert was there
00:28:26
>> at her house. >> At her house. And I ran into one of my favorite people of all time.
00:28:31
>> Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. Let me guess. >> MH is his initials.
00:28:35
>> Kevin Spacy. [laughter] >> MH. Man, >> there's a lot of young boys here.
00:28:42
>> Michael Hitchcock. >> I don't know who that is. >> You ever see Best in Show?
00:28:46
>> Love Best in Show. >> Yeah. >> Oh, yeah. He's great. >> Yeah. Hitch was there.
00:28:50
>> So, he was there at Ardan's house. >> Yeah. >> How was the How was the party?
00:28:53
>> I was there for five minutes. [laughter] >> So, it was a good party.
00:28:56
>> I do like a five minute whenever she has a party. I do five minutes. I I'll do a
00:28:59
round >> hug and then leave. >> Why? Why go then? >> Because I
00:29:05
>> cuz my therapist my Cuz you know you know I'm a loner. >> Yeah.
00:29:07
>> And I don't leave the house. Yeah. >> So my therapist is like you got to just
00:29:11
try to participate. >> So I try to participate. >> Yeah. But I see I disagree. You're 54
00:29:17
years old at this point. Don't do anything you don't want. >> I know. But if you look at my mom,
00:29:20
that's where I'm headed. >> She looks great. >> I know. She looks great, but she doesn't
00:29:24
like leaving the house and she only plays iPad games. What's wrong with that?
00:29:29
>> There's nothing wrong with it, but it's like, you know, I I want to be able to
00:29:31
be, you know, how do you you you got to be social. That's a part of the human
00:29:35
condition. >> No, >> it's not. >> No, you already did it. >> Oh, I did it
00:29:39
>> for 54 years. You've did it. >> Oh, >> you've paid all your dues. You don't owe
00:29:43
anybody [ __ ] You can go or don't go. >> Yeah. I'm just I think I'm like my mom.
00:29:47
>> It's great. >> Yeah. >> She looks happy and healthy. But, by the
00:29:50
way, she got frustrated because she logged out of YouTube. That was like a huge debacle.
00:29:53
>> Oh, yeah. >> She was like, "You YouTube YouTube?" Yeah. And you're like, "Mom, we'll do
00:29:56
And she's like, "Now you're like, we're doing the podcast."
00:29:59
>> That's another thing that I have. I want it now. >> If you wanted YouTube now, I want mine
00:30:03
now. >> That's exactly how you are. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do it now. Do it now.
00:30:06
>> That's funny. You want it right now. >> I want it right now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:30:08
>> But But you're not a guy that if you say you're going to do it, doesn't mean
00:30:11
you're going to do it now. >> What do you mean? >> You want things done right now? Yeah.
00:30:16
>> But if you say you're going to do something, doesn't mean you you're going
00:30:19
to >> Oh, I don't do it now. >> Yeah. Yeah. No, you have to do it now.
00:30:22
Yeah. [laughter] Yeah. Yeah. I do it when I want to do it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> I'm that guy. I make up my mind and I'm
00:30:26
going to do something, I just do it. And even if it's like even it's it's
00:30:30
chunking time out of something else, I if I really want to do it, I'm going to
00:30:34
do it. I don't give a [ __ ] >> I was like that with tennis rackets and
00:30:37
ice skates. [laughter] >> What? >> Not enough. >> What? >> Not enough.
00:30:42
>> No. The other day I was like, I need tennis rackets. I want did it. I woke up
00:30:45
and I'm getting tennis rackets. >> See, I like that. >> Yeah. Yeah. I want ice skates. I'm going
00:30:49
ice skates. Yeah. Right. Yeah. >> I'm going to do it. I'm going to
00:30:51
>> And they just stay in my closet for like years. But you got them. >> I got them
00:30:55
>> just in case we need to skate. >> Yeah, cuz I've had a lot of people go,
00:30:58
"You want to play tennis? I I got to get rackets." >> Who? Kirk.
00:31:02
>> Yeah. Other people. Just people. Just random people. You want to play tennis?
00:31:06
I don't play tennis with you. >> But you don't. >> Cuz I didn't have any rackets. Now I
00:31:09
have >> Now you got how many rackets? >> Just two prints. Red ones. >> Two print. So you bought two rackets
00:31:15
even though you need one. >> I always have two. >> Overprepared. >> No.
00:31:18
>> In case you break one. >> I hit so hard. [laughter] Dude, I was on the tennis team in high
00:31:23
school. I told you that. I got those red ones right there. >> Tell me your your What was the food at
00:31:27
Ardan's house? >> Tacos? >> A taco truck? >> No, just tacos in the house.
00:31:32
>> Who's got Who made tacos in the house? >> So, I was there with Andrea Jyn. She
00:31:36
came too. Yeah. >> And she started eating the tacos. And I You never I I don't know about you. You
00:31:40
probably do it. >> Here's what I like about your parties versus other parties.
00:31:46
>> Sure. >> Okay. So, at your parties, you have a dude making it. Correct. Yeah. Right.
00:31:52
Yeah. >> Like I've been to Carlos Mensia's house at for his parties. He has a guy.
00:31:56
>> You pay for someone to make that. >> Yeah. Yeah. So he's >> then you can enjoy the party. Yeah.
00:32:02
>> You know what [laughter] I mean? How whatever they beer beer beer. >> Right. Right. So but then you go to some
00:32:09
houses and there it's just there sitting in a cylinder >> like it was ordered or they made it
00:32:15
early. >> I don't know how it came about. I don't know how it manifests itself.
00:32:19
>> You don't like it either way. >> Right. But I need to see it made.
00:32:22
>> Uhhuh. >> On the spot. >> I understand what you're saying.
00:32:24
>> So if it's sitting there, who knows? It could have been there yesterday,
00:32:28
>> right? >> They had Do you know you had two party? You had day two party.
00:32:31
>> Yeah. So then Andrea took ate a um a taco and I was like, I wouldn't eat
00:32:36
that. She weird. >> And then 30 minutes later, she goes, "My tummy hurts." I go,
00:32:41
>> "See?" >> Yeah. See, that's you see the guy make it. Well, that's like when we went to
00:32:45
Tim's when Tim had his house here and he had when Dylan had his Christmas parties,
00:32:49
>> he would literally have a staff of 10 people cooking. >> Yeah. >> He had someone [ __ ] he had just a
00:32:54
baker to make desserts. >> Yeah. >> He hired someone to bake just dessert. A
00:32:59
pastry chef is I'm dumb. I can't say. A pastry chef just for desserts and then
00:33:03
four chefs. Yep. >> Regular chefs. >> Yeah. >> And they were doing the Yes chef. I
00:33:08
heard the sue chef being like, "Do you like Yes, chef. Right here, chef." Yeah.
00:33:11
>> I was like, "This is a kitchen." He's He brought the bear to his [ __ ] house.
00:33:15
>> Yeah. You know what else I like? >> He's extravagant, dude. >> He's an extravagant guy. He is.
00:33:18
>> Yeah. Yeah. >> I also like places where it looks like a lab at a restaurant, for instance.
00:33:23
You're at Ding Tyong, >> right? And there's a gigantic open window and you see they're all in white
00:33:30
with masks and they're folding the dumplings. >> Oh, I love it. >> Pikita Moss, you see them making the
00:33:36
tortillas. >> Home state. They make them They make them there in front of >> They make it right in front of you,
00:33:39
right? So that I like that >> right there. >> Yeah. No, that's a lab. That's the Wuhan
00:33:44
lab. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Bring up the Wuhan lab. >> No, they're making dumplings and co.
00:33:49
[laughter] >> That's where they put They're Asians. They have work ethic, right? They can do
00:33:54
two things at once. >> One guy [ __ ] up. He's like, "Oh, I was supposed to make Kobe today." [laughter]
00:34:00
>> Yeah. >> Wasted all of his time making dumplings. >> But don't you you like Ding Taiong?
00:34:05
>> Here's what I like about this. I can see them putting in the work. >> That's right. Like, did you see that
00:34:10
video of the guy that restaurant here in Southern California? They got in trouble. They got closed down cuz he was
00:34:14
breaking up frozen ribs in the back of the restaurant on the ground. >> I saw that. I saw that. I saw that
00:34:18
>> on the ground. That's so gross. Have you seen that? It was so gross.
00:34:21
>> Big frozen slab OF RIBS AND >> SLAMMING IT ON THE GROUND, [laughter]
00:34:25
>> DUDE. It was one of the funniest things I think I've ever seen. And then then
00:34:29
the Yeah, that's him out back. Look at that. Play that video. He's behind the
00:34:32
restaurant and he's just throwing the ribs on the ground. This is someone like
00:34:36
from their apartment. >> [laughter] >> Look at this. Hey, >> just trying to break them up a little
00:34:42
bit. >> Whoa. >> On a box. Yeah. >> Put the cardboard down. >> Look at it. Falls on the ground three or
00:34:46
four times. They throw They just fall on the ground. >> Look at that. Gross. [laughter]
00:34:50
>> Now, here's my argument for this guy. >> You're defending him.
00:34:53
>> He's Asian >> for a second. >> Okay. >> Well, yeah, of course.
00:34:55
>> He's not Asian. >> Yes, he is. >> No, he's not. >> The way he's throwing is absolutely
00:34:58
>> pause. >> When it zooms in, >> can you zoom in? >> No. Let them do it here. She'll zoom in
00:35:02
a little bit there. >> That's 100% an Asian guy, >> I So >> there's there's literally no doubt in my
00:35:07
mind. >> I think you're right. >> The way he throws is Asian. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How do Asians throw?
00:35:12
>> Oh, okay. >> You can hear it. >> No, but listen here. Faux love. It was
00:35:16
called faux love. Uh and let me tell you why I'm defending him for a heartbeat.
00:35:21
Permanently close. That sucks. Here's my only semi-defense. They're frozen.
00:35:26
Nothing is sticking to frozen a fro. No, you could literally dip that in trash, take it out, blow it off. It's nothing.
00:35:34
It's frozen. And it's solid. Then when you cook it, you're cooking away
00:35:37
whatever would be. >> You can also wash it >> 100%. It's frozen.
00:35:40
>> I think you're right. >> It's frozen. >> Yeah. >> And by the way,
00:35:42
>> I don't think the optics is good [laughter] though. >> No. >> No. It's bad. Also, how much how much
00:35:48
other [ __ ] do they do [laughter] that with? >> Right. >> Like like And look at there's a mop
00:35:52
bucket right next to him. It's [ __ ] gross. >> Yeah. >> But this is the thing. As Americans,
00:35:56
we're spoiled rotten. This happens all over the [ __ ] world. [snorts] And they don't think twice.
00:36:00
>> I think you're right. I think the reason why I like the lab atmosphere, right, is
00:36:04
you're you have assurance. >> You're assured. >> Yeah. I mean, you look in Ding Taiong
00:36:08
and you're like, "Okay, he's not throwing that dumpling on the ground,
00:36:12
[laughter] >> right?" And then some places when you don't, you don't know what goes like I
00:36:17
believe that like I think that like if you go to Taco Bell something, they spit in the [ __ ] stuff.
00:36:20
>> I don't believe that. >> You don't? >> I don't think so. Cuz I worked at
00:36:23
McDonald's. I worked at fast food. Yeah. We never did that. >> Yeah. You cuz you're a good guy.
00:36:27
>> No. No. But I didn't. Okay. There were some other friends of mine that were
00:36:30
there that were [ __ ] up to no goodies. Yeah. They never did [ __ ] like that. You know what you would do
00:36:34
instead? Because if you got caught doing that, dude, that's also against the law.
00:36:39
You can you could go to jail for that, right? Spitting in someone food, that's
00:36:42
a >> you know how easy it is to spit without anyone seeing. >> It's a biohazard, though.
00:36:46
>> Okay, >> that's bad. No, guys would do [ __ ] like that. They would [ __ ] up their order on
00:36:50
purpose. >> Uh >> that happens all the time. >> They like, "Fuck this asshole." And so
00:36:54
they'd give them like one less nugget. >> Yeah. That's like such a good because by
00:36:58
the way, you get the bag and most of us you go for fries on the ride home. >> Unless you're really hungry, you're
00:37:03
probably not going to eat the nuggets until you get home and you open it up and see five instead of six. Pissed.
00:37:08
It's a perfect You're mad about that. >> I'd be [ __ ] pissed. I want six. If I
00:37:12
order six, I want six. >> What if there's seven? [laughter] Are you extra happy?
00:37:17
>> That's amazing. >> Are you not extra happy when an extra nugget falls in there?
00:37:20
>> You know what I don't like? >> When a random thing that's in the nugget
00:37:24
box, like one fry. I love that. >> No, I don't like that. I don't >> give me a rogue onion ring all day long.
00:37:29
>> I don't want a rogue one. >> Love it. No. >> What is he doing in there? He's on an
00:37:31
adventure. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Don't want No. >> He's like, I got free.
00:37:34
>> I'm like, stay with your kind. [laughter] All right. >> Yeah. Stay with your kind, dude. All
00:37:38
right. >> Whoa. >> Onion rings. Just hang out with onion rings. All right. If you come over to,
00:37:43
you know what I mean? French fry land. Right. >> I'm calling ICE. [laughter]
00:37:48
>> It's big. Se That's We should open up a fast food place called segregation.
00:37:51
>> Yeah. >> Separate. Separate but equal. >> Yeah. >> Yeah.
00:37:54
>> But they're not. You like that? >> Yeah. Onion rings belong with onion
00:37:57
rings. >> All right. What about this? >> You think I'm going to let MY ONION RING
00:37:59
GET YOUR FRENCH FRY ASS DAUGHTER? [laughter] >> YEAH. >> [ __ ] ass French fry ass daughter.
00:38:04
>> What if you open your a nugget box and there's something in there that's not
00:38:07
even on the menu? [laughter] >> What is it? >> What? >> What is it?
00:38:11
>> Like uh like like you know sauteed duck. >> Oh my god. How good. >> No, but you're at Taco Bell. [laughter]
00:38:18
>> I know. It's a new menu item. >> Okay. No. No. It's something that's why
00:38:22
would it be there? Like an egg roll. >> Yeah, like an egg roll. Yeah, you're at
00:38:26
you're at you you go to McDonald's fries, you open it, and there's an egg
00:38:29
roll in there. >> Bonus bonus egg roll. >> Yeah, but where did it come from?
00:38:33
>> Who [laughter] cares? >> Is it the same thing as you're talking
00:38:35
about? Like I'm going for a ride. >> Yeah. >> Imagine that adventure. I [laughter]
00:38:40
went from Panda Express, right? I took a Door Dash ride to [ __ ] McDonald's. I hop out.
00:38:48
>> I jump into the >> This does happen cuz they have KFC Taco Bell combo places now.
00:38:52
>> Yeah. I can see it. >> Okay. So, that does happen and I'd be okay with that.
00:38:55
>> I Yeah. Don't hit your ride. >> We We're different in that way.
00:38:58
>> I understand. >> Okay. Yeah. >> If it's fast food and it's fried, who
00:39:02
cares how it got in there? I'll take it. >> Yeah. We used to [ __ ] with people in
00:39:05
that, right? But we'd steal from that McDonald's. That's why my buddies got
00:39:08
fired. >> Yeah. >> My buddy Chris >> because if our friends came, we'd give
00:39:11
them as much stuff as we could. >> Yeah. >> It was hard to steal money. You could
00:39:15
We'd steal food, but sometimes you'd steal money. Sometimes you wouldn't put
00:39:19
in a late order if it was super late and they're in the window. M >> you wouldn't punch it in. You would be
00:39:23
like, "Yeah, yeah, I'll do it." And then you'd make up the number of what you
00:39:26
think. You'd be like, "475." And then you would just go get the item and not
00:39:29
ring it up. >> Oo. They used to do that at a comedy club. I know. >> Seriously? Oh, yeah.
00:39:35
>> Where? >> They had an old system and then the waitresses they they could like um
00:39:40
charge somebody and then void it easily. >> Oh, the voiding. >> Yeah. Yeah. And then just take all the
00:39:44
cash. >> See, the voiding is tough cuz it still shows up in the system. See, I I've
00:39:46
worked in restaurants. I I know how that goes. Well, yeah, because you get the manager, can you void that drink out
00:39:50
that no one wanted it, but then you give your buddy that drink? >> I've done that, but they're still
00:39:54
traceable. With McDonald's, you would take the order, but not take it down. Just go back to the kitchen and be like,
00:39:59
can I get a double double double to go? >> And then they'll, you know, they slide
00:40:02
you that double quarter pounder. >> So, the matter, they don't count the
00:40:06
patties. What I mean by that is >> it's a box of You should see McDonald's
00:40:10
gets a box of like 700 frozen patties. >> Yeah, but if I was I'm Asian.
00:40:14
>> One, two. >> Yeah, I'm counting. [laughter] bill. >> I'm going to do it all day.
00:40:24
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00:40:27
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00:40:49
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00:40:54
key vitamins and minerals. What's my next one? >> Probably digestion. >> Dude, you're so good. Keeps things
00:40:59
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00:41:04
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Shopify by your side. You're counting every patty. No, you don't have time.
00:43:01
>> If I'm the manager at Yeah. >> You have so much to do when you're the
00:43:04
manager. You're busy as [ __ ] >> Like fries is one thing. That's insane.
00:43:07
>> You mean you better count. >> We have 42,695 fries today. You know what I mean? You
00:43:12
better not [ __ ] steal. [laughter] >> That's crazy. >> Here's why it doesn't matter. Because at
00:43:16
McDonald's, if you ever work in fast food, so much stuff ends up on the floor
00:43:20
on accident. Yeah. >> Fries, a nugget, patty. This happens cuz when you're when people are moving.
00:43:25
>> You're right. You're right. You're right. Okay. I stand corrected. I stand
00:43:27
corrected. >> You know, you know my favorite [ __ ] was >> when we'd have to replace the Coke bag.
00:43:32
>> So, cuz it's a per because McDonald's has like the perfect mixture of
00:43:34
Coca-Cola. That's why it's the best Coca-Cola in the [ __ ] world other than Mexican Coke in a bottle. But to go
00:43:40
Coke is McDonald's because their their syrup mixture is like perfectly measured, but it's so dense and sweet
00:43:47
that you like hook up the sugar bag, the the syrup bag, and it's got the then the
00:43:51
carbonation and the the the soda water. >> Sometimes it would leak out of the top
00:43:56
like the plastic top and I suck on that. Oh my god, it's so good, dude. I like
00:44:02
that. >> That's it. You can feel your teeth falling out. [laughter] >> Yeah. Yeah.
00:44:06
>> It's It's got to be like 1,000 g of sugar per like because it's it's
00:44:09
condensed. >> Yeah. >> It's so [ __ ] Those are so good, dude. And the smell of those when you crack it
00:44:14
open. >> I used Dude, I loved working at McDonald's. It was [ __ ] It was the
00:44:18
best first job I ever had. I was 15. It was awesome. And I fed all my friends. I
00:44:24
got paid good money. >> Yeah. >> Like I I got paid like a minimum wage,
00:44:28
but it was like good when you could still [ __ ] like Yeah. Look at that. Smoking a joint of McDonald's Coke. Hey
00:44:33
yo, >> do they drug test there? No, >> I I mean this was a long time ago. They
00:44:38
might now. I don't think they drug No, they didn't drug test us because everyone we was there was on drugs.
00:44:43
>> No. Would you feel safer when androids take over like robot? Like if like cuz
00:44:48
when you go to a McDonald's eventually it's going to be no humans working
00:44:51
there. >> That's [ __ ] a bummer. Well, even now I went to a McDonald's. Where were we?
00:44:55
And and you have to order through the [ __ ] >> You guys see the Tesla the Tesla diner
00:45:00
in Hollywood? All all robotized. >> Let's Let's burn it. Let's go burn it
00:45:05
down. >> Is it just made out of cyber trucks? [laughter] >> That's it.
00:45:10
>> [ __ ] that place. [ __ ] him. [ __ ] that whole place. Stupid. >> But that's the future guy.
00:45:16
>> No. No. There will still be a need for human. >> I don't know.
00:45:19
>> No, we will. We'll want that. >> Look at that influencer. >> Hey guys, I'm here with my tits and this
00:45:26
robot. >> Yeah. Oh my god, >> he's making me popcorn. [laughter]
00:45:32
The Korea Daily, >> of course. >> So funny. >> What's so funny about that?
00:45:38
>> I was happy we made it all the way there in their news. It's pretty cool.
00:45:42
>> We go deep. Do you really think that that's going you're that's I think that
00:45:45
people are still going to want people to run a thing. >> I don't know.
00:45:50
I I like I like the niche niche of it. >> The niche of the future. >> Yeah.
00:45:56
>> Well, it's going to be everywhere. So, the niche would be humans making food
00:45:58
still. But right now when I see a we go I get excited. >> Then eventually you get excited.
00:46:05
[laughter] >> Talking about you. >> You do get excited. [laughter] >> Sorry. Way more. I mean way more.
00:46:13
>> Whimos suck, >> dude. They're the best. >> They stopped in it stopped in front of
00:46:17
us in the hotel. Remember that? And it couldn't get by us. >> Olympics are better. [laughter]
00:46:23
>> Whimos suck. You don't like that [ __ ] [ __ ] that. >> I love it.
00:46:26
>> No. Remember what the guy said to us in the car when he was like, "Wheimos are
00:46:29
[ __ ] because what if you get into an accident, something happens?" Uh, the
00:46:34
doors lock. >> You know, you can't get out of those things until you're at your destination.
00:46:39
>> You couldn't just get out if you needed to in an emergency. >> Like poo.
00:46:42
>> Anything. >> You'd have to poo in the Whimo. >> Oh my god.
00:46:45
>> Whimo with toilet. >> Wow. >> Come on up to the front if you have to.
00:46:48
[ __ ] >> But it doesn't blow your mind when you see a Whimo. Like >> it pisses me off.
00:46:54
>> They're too slow, Bob. >> They suck. I know, but it's just being
00:46:56
backed. It's just so weird when you look at the [ __ ] driver's seat. There's no
00:46:59
one in there. >> Okay, let me give for someone like you. I'm going to prove why you you don't
00:47:03
need you don't want Whimo. In the future, if it's all Whimos and they're
00:47:06
all self-driving and no one gets to drive, then you ha then everything is going to be on time
00:47:12
[laughter] and you like that things aren't on time. You enjoy the fact that there's leeway
00:47:17
and there's wiggle room. I like that about you. >> Screw we go. [laughter]
00:47:22
>> [applause] >> I just >> I like human error, too. >> Human error.
00:47:26
>> Yeah, >> human error. Human error. >> That's where the magic happens.
00:47:29
>> The ribs on the ground, >> right? That's [laughter] where the magic
00:47:31
happens. Yeah. Yeah. >> That store is closed down permanently. Faux love. >> There's a nail in my bread stick.
00:47:37
[laughter] >> I love that. >> It's a fun story. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You eat it anyway.
00:47:41
>> Think about that. The news is not going to have anything to talk about if
00:47:44
everything is automated. >> Yeah. >> How boring. How boring. There is no
00:47:48
chaos anymore. >> I want the chaos. >> We love chaos. anarchy, bro. >> That we do need we need [ __ ] up
00:47:54
stories. We need wild [ __ ] to go down. >> That's why when you if you married an
00:47:58
android, there's no human error there. There's no excitement. >> It does anything you need it to do.
00:48:02
>> Exactly. >> There's no fights. There's no argument. >> You want some You need some combative.
00:48:06
We love drama. >> Think about a TV. >> I want to watch Pride and Prejudice
00:48:10
tonight. >> Right. And you know that argument. >> You're like, "No, come on. Let's watch
00:48:15
casino." No. Last night was your movie night, >> right? >> Tonight, Pride and Prejudice. Uh, I
00:48:20
know. I hate Pride and Prejudice. >> Did you watch it? >> Pride and Prejudice? Yeah, I've seen it
00:48:23
years ago. >> God, it's so crazy because every girl that I know like gets angry that I
00:48:29
haven't seen it. >> You haven't seen Pride and >> I don't even know what it is.
00:48:32
>> There's a million versions, too. >> Yeah. Yeah. But they go, "You haven't
00:48:36
seen it. It's a masterpiece." And I'm like, "You just said that about The
00:48:39
Notebook." >> Oh, that was >> You think it's in the masterpiece?
00:48:43
>> Can I tell you something? >> What? >> Never saw it. >> See, that's what I'm saying. That's
00:48:46
>> I never saw The Notebook. >> Yeah. There's films that I know I You
00:48:49
know what's so funny? Like I never saw Brokeback Mountain, but I got the gist.
00:48:53
>> So I never saw There's movies that I just never saw. >> I got the gist, too. Yeah,
00:48:56
>> I got the gizz. I got the gizz. >> Um Yeah. I You know what? Can I be
00:48:59
honest with you? >> It's funny. I didn't see Brokeback Mountain, but I did see Moonlight.
00:49:03
>> I love Moonlight. >> It's just Black It's just Black Brokeback Mountain.
00:49:05
>> Yeah. Yeah. >> Black Back Mountain. >> Broke Black Mountain.
00:49:08
>> Broke Black Mountain. >> Yeah. [laughter] I've never seen Brokeback Mountain either.
00:49:12
>> It's just I'm not interested in in seeing it. >> I want to see it though cuz I heard it's
00:49:15
really good. >> We should all go see it. >> Doubt it. You've seen it?
00:49:18
>> No. It's amazing. >> Yeah. Yeah. Why? Wait, why haven't you
00:49:21
seen it? >> Just one of those. I didn't I realized I didn't even see the second Kill Bill
00:49:24
till today. >> Yeah. >> These guys went to Kill Bill without us today.
00:49:28
>> You know what movie I'm trying to watch right now? It's hard to get through. I
00:49:30
don't know why. Barry Lynon. >> Oh, it's so good. >> I know. It's beautifully shot,
00:49:35
>> but I can't get into it. Look at a Chinese Look at You're wearing a cowboy
00:49:39
hat. Anyway, >> I like Chinese cowboys. >> When's When have you seen them?
00:49:43
>> There's so many Chinese cowboys. You don't know that. There's a documentary
00:49:46
about Chinese cowboys >> in China. >> Look, there's an untold America about
00:49:50
Chinese cowboys. You've never seen this? >> No. >> It's amazing.
00:49:52
>> Oh, look. Go to the historical photo. >> Oh, zoom in. Look at that, dude.
00:49:58
>> Giddy up, doggy. [laughter] >> He's >> doing wide eyes like you.
00:50:05
>> Yeah, he is doing wide eyes on the right. >> Yeah. >> Ride the damn cowboy.
00:50:09
>> No, he just got an order he didn't want to do. [laughter] Hey, man. And you're going to take that
00:50:13
piece of dynamite, go in that hole, and light it up. What? [laughter] >> Wait, this is not That's Shen Yune.
00:50:21
>> Yeah, >> that's just Shen Yune backstage. >> Is that Is that in America?
00:50:26
>> Yeah. >> Uh, it's in 1888. >> Wow. There were Asians back then.
00:50:30
>> The good old days. >> Yeah, but I'm I'm sure they were like, I
00:50:34
want to go back home >> now. This is your home now, pal. >> But do you think they were they were
00:50:39
miserable back then? And one day your great great grandson's going to open up
00:50:43
a Thai food joint >> in San Jose and it will get closed down because of health code violations.
00:50:48
>> You know how I know it was bad for them? When you watch Tombstone, Deadwood, any
00:50:52
of those things? There's only one guy. >> One's if that >> one's enough.
00:50:57
>> You know what I mean? But so where are the other people? >> I don't know. I don't know.
00:51:01
>> Yeah, >> you got one. I watched Goonies again. You know, >> I watched Goonies on the plane the other
00:51:05
day. >> It's a good movie. >> It's a flawless movie. >> Yeah, it's perfect. It's exactly what a
00:51:10
movie should be. It's an adventure. I watched backtoback with Sandlot. I went
00:51:14
Sandlock Goonies and I was like, "This is perfect. These are just kids going on
00:51:18
an adventure." That was movies at that era was just like, "Put them in a weird
00:51:22
situation. Have them go on a whimsical adventure. You go along for the ride. Whether or not it's realistic, it
00:51:26
doesn't matter." And a lovely >> I can't watch a lot. >> Why?
00:51:30
>> Because my ex-girlfriend is married to the star of Sandlot. I just I think
00:51:34
about her. >> The star is a vague That's a vague term because there's a lot of stars in that.
00:51:38
Okay. >> Scotty Smalls. >> The other guy. The chubby guy. >> The redheaded guy.
00:51:43
>> Yeah. >> Really? >> Yeah. >> Tell us of that. >> Of of uh of uh what's his name? Porter.
00:51:48
What's wrong with me? >> Yeah. >> Ham. Porter. Yeah. Hamilton Porter.
00:51:51
>> Yeah. Patrick. >> Pat Pat Rena. >> Yeah. Go to Pat Rena. Right.
00:51:55
>> Do you know why bums me out? And nothing against him. I'm I'm sure he's a great
00:51:58
guy. Okay. >> Yeah. >> Thought. >> Yeah. >> Money. >> Who Who is that?
00:52:03
>> Jasmine, my ex-girlfriend. >> How long ago? >> Many many years ago.
00:52:07
And when she I was the she was he was the next guy she dated. >> And in my head I was like, "Oh, I'm
00:52:13
him." [laughter] >> You know what I mean? I'm like the Asian version of him.
00:52:19
>> You think so? >> Yeah, I think I am. >> He's got that Sandlot money.
00:52:23
>> I know. Well, I thought you meant you were him for a second about about like
00:52:28
What's that? Isn't there a movie? Is it Ryan Reynolds or someone? Like he's the
00:52:31
guy that the girl after the girl sleeps with him, they they get married and settle down.
00:52:36
>> What's that movie? It's with uh Dane Cook. >> Oh, right. >> Yeah.
00:52:40
>> Yeah, it is Dane Cook. The LA What is it called? >> She's very pretty, huh? Jasmine.
00:52:45
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. Look at their family. Go to the family. >> That could have been you.
00:52:50
>> I know. So many so many of my ex-girlfriends have kids now and are happy. [laughter]
00:52:58
They're just super happy. >> You prepared them for happiness, which is good.
00:53:01
>> Oh, you think you think I was like the the dark I can't even speak English.
00:53:05
[laughter] The the dark chapter. >> No, the preparing for happiness. >> The dark chapter
00:53:12
>> is that was it my best friend's girl? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. So, he would hire him
00:53:17
>> to try to bone her in order for her to fall back in love with him. >> Yeah. Cuz Yeah.
00:53:23
>> Twisted. That DNE was on fire back then. That's he starring in movies, man. It's crazy.
00:53:28
It's awesome. >> Love him. Anyway. >> Yeah. Look. >> Yeah.
00:53:34
>> She's happy. You're happy. >> I don't know. Sometimes like
00:53:38
>> What do you want? >> You want a family? Do you really want a family?
00:53:42
>> No, he doesn't. >> Yes, I do. >> Yeah, he might. >> He would have had one already.
00:53:46
>> He can still have one. >> I think I regret some things. >> You got plenty of time.
00:53:50
>> Like the airport. I was at the airport LAX and I would I tell you the story. I
00:53:54
was at LAX. >> You write note. What? >> You write another note to a girl.
00:53:58
>> No. No. No. I was >> Did you hop off the plane at LAX with a dream and a cardigan?
00:54:02
>> No. No. What? Sorry. >> Song. Yeah, I was hackard. [laughter] I I just done a weekend at some club and I
00:54:09
was at LAX and I was tired and haggarded and I have like my backpack. I'm walking
00:54:14
through LAX. In the distance, I see this beautiful girl >> with a young husband and their kid and
00:54:20
they're just laughing and I realize it's my ex-girlfriend and I [snorts] run into
00:54:25
them >> and she was like, "Oh." And we hug. >> Which one? Not that one.
00:54:28
>> Not that one. No, it's a different one. See, that's what I'm saying. I keep
00:54:31
running into happiness. And what how did the conversation go? >> I go, "Oh my god, we you know, we hug. I
00:54:36
meet the kid." You know what I mean? And the dude, "What's up, dude? What's up,
00:54:39
man?" You know, they hug, "What's up, homie?" You know, "What's up, homie?"
00:54:42
Yeah. >> The black guy. >> No, it's just a white guy. But it's like
00:54:45
we white guys can do this, too. >> I know, but you're doing the homie thing. You keep going to home. What's
00:54:49
up, homie? >> Yeah, that's what how I talk. >> Why? [laughter] >> I don't I'm Urban.
00:54:54
>> Urban Bob is back. >> Yeah. What's up, dog? And I do, what's
00:54:57
up? Right. >> You said, "What's up to the boyfriend?" >> Yeah. And then they go, "Well, see you
00:55:00
later." And then they leave and I go, "Oh, you know, what did I do?"
00:55:05
>> What did What did you want? Were you in love with that person? >> I think I was I think honestly I think
00:55:10
there's some relationship I maybe I should have hung in there. >> Yep.
00:55:15
>> Don't Don't you think? >> Don't say [ __ ] yep. >> No, I I I believe that. I think I should
00:55:19
have hung in there because in rough patches, right, I go mayday, mayday. I got to get out. Right. But that's the
00:55:26
nature of relationships. You're going to have rough patches. >> So, of course.
00:55:29
>> Yeah. And it's like the next time maybe stick in the rough patch, >> you know what I mean? And then you get
00:55:34
out of it instead of like pull pulling the emergency cord. >> But sometimes it's for the better.
00:55:39
>> But I don't think so. I think every relationship I've been in it, I should
00:55:42
have just stayed in it. >> It's interesting. >> Yeah. >> The butterfly effect. Now you could go
00:55:47
back in time and >> Yeah. Because it's like if I look back, they were attractive, good people,
00:55:53
empathy, all the things. And then you see them happy, but then I they would have been miserable with me.
00:56:00
>> Well, how do you know that? >> I'm a [ __ ] [laughter] bro, dude. I'm a creature of the night,
00:56:05
dude. >> Yeah. >> You know what I mean? 5 in the morning. I'm playing Ghost of Yoai. What are you
00:56:09
doing? The sun is up. Shut up. You [laughter] mean? All right. I still have to level up at 54. I'm like that.
00:56:18
>> That's who. >> I GOT TO LEVEL UP. >> BUT THAT'S who you are. Who cares?
00:56:21
>> I need to find that special gem. Well, I need another girl like I'm leveling up,
00:56:25
too. >> Exactly. >> You need a leveler. >> Yeah. Yeah. Two. We're playing two games
00:56:29
at one time. Maybe that. >> There's got to be a girl like this that exists. A girl that's obsessed with
00:56:34
those kind of things that loves her independence. >> But then we would get nothing done.
00:56:37
>> What do you need to get done? >> Make bread. You know, >> you're a big bread guy now.
00:56:42
>> Well, I love you that show. >> Great. Breakoff. >> No, but you know what I'm saying? I
00:56:47
don't think you would want somebody exactly like you. That's insane. you'd
00:56:51
want someone that has similar similar interests. That's what I'm that's what
00:56:55
you're saying. >> I don't know because I remember with Kyla it's like you I mean we're going to
00:56:58
do this thing and I'm like normally I wouldn't do it but when I do it then
00:57:02
you're like oh I'm glad I did it. If I'm with somebody that's like me we would
00:57:07
never do anything. You know what I mean? You just be sitting there. >> You're kind of perfect.
00:57:12
>> No I I need I need someone to like lead me into life. >> Be with a celebrity.
00:57:17
>> What? >> Only person you would like respect. back. Can you be with someone in
00:57:20
>> No, I respect common people. >> I even said [laughter] >> that's so good.
00:57:26
>> It's like that song from Pulp. Common people. >> Okay. >> It's one of my favorite songs.
00:57:29
>> We call them civilians. >> Call them civilians. >> Well, they're civilians cuz we're like
00:57:34
we're weirdos. We're clowns and those are civilians. Those are adult humans
00:57:38
and we're different. We're [snorts] goofball [ __ ] >> Yeah. >> We're children. We're clowns.
00:57:42
>> You know what I thought about the other day after doing last night after doing
00:57:45
uh Friday night after doing that big show with Shane? >> Mhm. and you do this huge show and then
00:57:51
you just end up in a hotel room by yourself >> naked after a shower on a chair hunched
00:57:57
over, right? [laughter] Literally hunched over and just just like what the [ __ ]
00:58:02
>> you could have got >> alone. >> Yeah. >> I think it's that you think that's going
00:58:07
to make you happy, but you've been >> It doesn't. >> Yeah, I know. And you know that already.
00:58:10
You're just experiencing >> every time I get reminded. >> Yeah, but that stuff doesn't make anyone
00:58:15
happy. >> I know. Exactly. Oh, there you're happy because you were that you did it. But
00:58:20
it's but everyone does have that moment at the end of the night of anything that
00:58:24
you do or are are >> people that get home from a long day at work whether they like their job or not.
00:58:29
Everyone has a reflective moment in the shower on the [ __ ] just being like >> Yeah.
00:58:35
>> Because that happened. That's human nature. >> Yeah. >> It just that's the feeling of
00:58:38
everything. It's like when you buy something you've always wanted then you
00:58:41
get it and you don't even [ __ ] give a [ __ ] That's that's everything. That's
00:58:44
every. So [snorts] if you can't be happy now, you're never going to be happy
00:58:48
then. >> Yeah. I'm trying to find it. Yeah. >> Although I did hear that quote today on
00:58:52
[ __ ] Tik Tok. It bothered me so much. Warren Buffett was doing a speech and he's like, "If you're
00:58:56
>> if you're not happy with 50,000 or 100,000, you're not going to be happy
00:59:00
with a hundred million. It's not going to make a difference. It's like, oh my
00:59:02
god, you're worth billions of dollars, you [ __ ] idiot." Yeah. >> What are you talking about?
00:59:06
>> What are you talking about? >> What are you talking? And then he does
00:59:09
kind of back it up by saying like, "Oh yeah, then there's a there is a threshold of money that that makes
00:59:13
people right gives people comfort and everything, >> but like he's trying to do this whenever
00:59:19
somebody like that like like a like an Elon Musk or like a Zuckerberg does that thing where they're like
00:59:25
>> it's not going to make you happy, man. And I got to tell you, you just got to
00:59:28
find it now. All right. Later and takes off in a [ __ ] jetpack. >> Yeah. Yeah.
00:59:32
>> And you're like, what what are you talking about? >> Yeah. Um um um I had a driver the other
00:59:36
day and it made me really like reflect and I go, you know, I talk to the all the drivers.
00:59:42
>> You love talking to the drivers. >> I'm like, "What's up? What's up, dude?"
00:59:45
You know, you talk. I was getting into his life. He's like, and we got into his
00:59:48
life. He's married, two kids. >> And then I go, "Um, you happy?" He goes,
00:59:53
"Well, let me when I go home after this shift, I'm going to sit in my driveway
00:59:58
for an hour and just look at TikTok before I go inside the house." >> Yeah.
01:00:02
>> And I go, "Why?" He goes, "I just don't want to be there."
01:00:05
>> Oh [ __ ] >> You know what I mean? >> I thought he wanted some like selft talk
01:00:08
time. >> No, no, no, no, no. He goes, "Because when I go in there, I'm just so
01:00:11
unhappy." >> Oh [ __ ] >> And he goes, "I'm only with my wife
01:00:14
because um we have two young daughters and I'm going to stay together for them."
01:00:20
>> Andreas was your driver. [laughter] >> And I was I was like, "Dude, just figure
01:00:26
that out. That sounds like a nightmare." He goes, "No." >> Well, because what is he going to do?
01:00:30
Break up a family? And he >> and that's what I'm saying. But that's
01:00:33
that's I I don't want that. I think that's what I I'm looking for something
01:00:38
perfect because I don't want that. I don't want to you know what I mean?
01:00:42
>> But perfect doesn't exist. >> But the to be dreadful going home,
01:00:46
>> but I don't think that's I don't think that's going to happen to you either. I
01:00:49
think that guy made his reality. >> Doesn't that sound like a nightmare?
01:00:53
>> You don't know what else is going on in his life? >> No. I I got into it. He goes, "What
01:00:56
happened?" He goes, "My wife um doesn't want to compromise. She um it's her road
01:01:04
or the high road. You know what I mean? And what? Why you laugh at it? >> That's the saying. You got it right. I
01:01:09
was just >> Why'd you laugh at it? Because I don't get it wrong. >> You just said it a little funny. That's
01:01:12
all. >> How do you say it? >> My way or the highway. >> Is my highway. [laughter]
01:01:18
And no, he was like saying like, you know, I I can't, you know what I mean? Do what I want to do. It's always her
01:01:24
way. >> Did he say what he wanted to do? Oh, you mean just in general? >> In general, like it's like, you know
01:01:29
what I mean? She as soon as I get in the house, she's like, "Do the this, do
01:01:33
that, do this." You know what I mean? And also, he said that I haven't had sex
01:01:36
with her in 90 days or 100 days. >> He doesn't want to have sex with >> doing like a cleanse or something.
01:01:41
>> No. No. She just doesn't want to do it. So, my point is is that it's just he's
01:01:45
trapped >> and I don't want to be in a prison. >> You don't want to be trapped in a
01:01:49
loveless marriage >> or loveless relationship even. I want to be free, you know?
01:01:53
>> Right. Well, then that's what I'm saying. Then don't ever you don't need
01:01:56
to. But I believe that there is got to be somebody out there that has that. No, I mean I I understand about compromise.
01:02:02
>> Yeah, you got to compromise. >> And I I understand about that. But to
01:02:05
feel trapped is a different thing. >> Yeah. That guy was a bad example of what
01:02:10
that that's not going to happen. That's not you. That's that man's plight.
01:02:13
>> Okay. >> That won't be you. >> Cuz I like going on adventures as well.
01:02:16
>> You're an adventurous man. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> I don't think that's going to be you.
01:02:19
>> Okay. >> You know, and I >> But but you can see the fear. >> I think it's a real I think it's a real
01:02:24
emotion. It's a true feeling to have to to be you don't want to be with someone
01:02:28
that you no longer are interested in. >> Yeah. >> But this happens. >> Last night I was at Ding Taiong, not
01:02:33
Ding Tang. I was at um Sunund Dang, which is a restaurant. >> It's another three three words.
01:02:37
>> Yeah. Yeah. It's a Korean restaurant. >> It was a ping pong Dong
01:02:39
>> and I was with Andrea Jyn and my friend Andy and we're we see see this couple
01:02:43
and you can see the guy and we were talking about him. He was just like and she's like doing all the talking. You
01:02:51
know what I mean? And there it kind of it was like there was some like um a confrontation going on. We don't know.
01:02:57
>> Couldn't hear it. Yeah. >> But you could just see how he's just so
01:03:01
sad, >> you know, and I go I know what that is >> and I don't want that.
01:03:06
>> What was it? >> Just trapped and bummed and like you know what I mean? Like I'm I can't get
01:03:13
out of the situation kind of. You know what I mean? And I don't want that. >> I think that's the worst thing. You
01:03:19
know, it's just also like sometimes relationships you they turn into your mother because I do have childlike
01:03:27
behavior. >> Mhm. >> So women want to mother me like do this, do that because you're not acting
01:03:34
normal, but I want somebody that's accept the fact that I'm just the way I
01:03:38
am because I'm not going to really change that much. I'll provide. I'm fun.
01:03:42
Da da da da. You know what I mean? But it's what's so funny. [laughter] It's on your dating profile.
01:03:49
>> I'll provide. I'm fun. You know, you know what I mean? D, you know,
01:03:57
>> it's the [ __ ] Bobby. [laughter] >> Yeah. But um you know, >> I think I think
01:04:02
>> cuz when I see you and your wife, I don't feel that. I feel like, you know,
01:04:05
she's just so cool. >> It's my homie. >> Yeah. And um but you're lucky.
01:04:10
>> But we all have [ __ ] We have [ __ ] Fancy and his wife have [ __ ] There's just stuff that
01:04:14
happens and you got to wiggle your way through it. Now, if I was if I had that guy's [ __ ] thing, the drivers, like I
01:04:21
sit in my car because I don't want to go inside. Yeah. >> I'm out of that relationship. That's I
01:04:25
don't That's crazy. That's That guy. >> But you you got to understand I'm stuck.
01:04:30
I have kids. You know what I mean? >> No. There's a way out of everything.
01:04:32
>> You think so? >> 100%. That guy shouldn't be in that. Also, that's worse for the kids because
01:04:36
he's probably not present. He's probably They're probably like, "Daddy." AND HE'S
01:04:39
LIKE, "THE [ __ ] OUT OF MY FACE." >> YEAH. GET away from me. I don't like
01:04:44
you. >> But I see signs up front. I went on a date and she goes, "Oh, I think you're
01:04:52
not going to believe this." She gets in my car. She goes, "Don't drive yet." I
01:04:56
go, "Why?" She goes, "I want to connect my phone into your Bluetooth so we can
01:05:00
play my music." >> Oh god. Immediately stop it. >> That's the first thing she said.
01:05:04
>> Okay, but you could go along and go, "Okay, maybe I want to hear your tunes.
01:05:07
Maybe she want to share tunes with me." >> You know what? I um um sideburns are
01:05:12
shaved. >> No, >> she went she grabbed my side. This is not going to do
01:05:18
>> my sideburns. >> This girl made you shave those. >> No, just a couple days later I looked in
01:05:21
the mirror and go, "Maybe she's right. Maybe I'm too grizzly." [laughter]
01:05:23
>> Let me see. Turn. >> No, I I just shaved them. >> But what they
01:05:27
>> They were gri You know, they were long and grizzly. Some of the white hair.
01:05:29
>> I love it. It's >> I know you do. But she did that and I was like, "Oh, I can't do this." Because
01:05:34
that's the beginning. >> Yeah. >> That's up front, dude. That's what
01:05:38
you're opening with. But what she what if she gets all the heavy [ __ ] out of
01:05:40
the way up top? What if that's the only thing that bothers me? >> Sideburns and I had to play my music.
01:05:43
That's it. Those are the only problems. >> I mean that's pretty good.
01:05:45
>> That is pretty good in the long term >> in their dating profile. It's like look
01:05:48
I hate sideburns and I got to play my music. But outside of [laughter] that I'm like chill chick on earth.
01:05:52
>> Yeah. >> But that I mean those are warning signs. No. >> So you're never going to talk to that
01:05:56
girl again. >> I haven't. No. >> Yeah. >> Because it was like
01:06:00
>> it just felt you know she's hot but that's nothing. >> They're all hot.
01:06:04
>> Yeah. Yeah. >> Every girl is hot with you. I said that to someone. Who was I talking to? You
01:06:09
guys. >> And I was like, they're all hot. They're all hot. >> But now it's like I can't do it if
01:06:14
they're like that. >> Well, it doesn't matter that they're hot
01:06:16
because there that's not it's not it there's more that you need. >> There's more than you need.
01:06:22
>> There's more that you need. >> There's more that you need. [laughter]
01:06:28
>> This is also the New Year's episode. Want to talk about resolutions?
01:06:31
>> Are you a produc? >> Yeah. >> Are you a producer on the show? You're
01:06:37
his boss. >> I mean, what? Let me ask you, what is your job description? >> It's vague and it changes often,
01:06:44
>> but is it telling me what to do? >> I [laughter] just >> No. Is that No. Is that your job
01:06:48
description? Telling me what to do. >> I want to feed you the feed you the
01:06:52
ball. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Did you come up with that segment resolutions?
01:06:57
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. [laughter] Yeah. >> New year, newly. >> Yeah. Yeah. You know what? We're not
01:07:01
doing that. >> That's okay. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You have any other
01:07:04
suggestions? >> Not right now, but I'll let you know. Oh yeah. Now look what you're getting mad.
01:07:08
[laughter] Yeah. Right. You're getting a little angry and rageful, right? >> Resentment.
01:07:12
>> Yeah. Why the resentment? >> I'm just kidding. [clears throat]
01:07:14
>> No. Why the resentment though? Let's get this out. Maybe that should be the New
01:07:17
Year's, >> right? Yeah. What's going on? >> No, there's no resentment.
01:07:22
>> Yeah. Yeah, there is. Cuz you're hiding. I can tell. >> All right, we're good.
01:07:26
>> Yeah, we're all good. >> I can see your face, though. >> You can't hide your face
01:07:31
>> when I see you sometimes. Like, you know what? La last time we got in a little
01:07:34
You did a face. Yeah. >> When was it? >> When was the last time we got into it?
01:07:39
>> No, it wasn't get it was something that happened in Phoenix. >> I don't remember.
01:07:44
>> You got your camera in my face. >> Remember? >> No. >> Yeah,
01:07:48
>> it happens a lot. >> I don't take these things you say seriously cuz you're just you're you're
01:07:52
a funny silly guy. >> He doesn't take you seriously. Damn. He doesn't take you seriously.
01:07:56
>> That's what I'm talking about, dude. >> Most intimidating guy.
01:07:59
>> He said that to me one time. He goes, "Bobby, I don't take him seriously."
01:08:02
>> Oh, you want to get You want me to get intimidating? [laughter] You can try.
01:08:06
>> Oh [ __ ] You can try. >> Okay. >> I love you so much. >> NO. NO. OKAY. OKAY. I'LL TRY. I'LL TRY.
01:08:16
>> YEAH. YEAH. I'm going to try. >> I'm going to try. >> You can try.
01:08:18
>> That's my new year. >> New year. >> I'm [laughter] going to try.
01:08:21
>> I'm going to try to be intimidating. >> Okay. >> Yeah. Yeah. That's fun. What are you
01:08:24
going to do new year? >> I'm try to stay more consistent at the gym. >> Okay. [laughter]
01:08:34
I was going to say I was going to say you should be looking for a new job. [laughter]
01:08:43
>> Yeah. >> Might have to replace you. >> I mean for your age. Here's another
01:08:47
thing that you do that it's crafty. Mone >> it's his um networking. I see it.
01:08:54
>> Oh, right. >> You know what I mean? Like when we're backstage and him talking to Shane,
01:08:59
>> he's always trying to try to ch it up. You know what I mean? >> Chubby guy.
01:09:02
>> And I wanted to go Shane and go, "Oh, no. That's that's a camera guy."
01:09:04
[laughter] >> He's just a kid camera guy. >> He did say that. >> Yeah. Did I say that?
01:09:10
>> You didn't say that. >> I did. Yeah. I interrupted them >> and Shane went, "No." Okay.
01:09:15
>> They're talking to me. >> Yeah. >> Oo. You see, he's snapping on you a
01:09:18
little bit. I think >> I Yeah. Yeah. >> I'm just saying what happened.
01:09:21
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> This is interesting. >> It's interesting.
01:09:24
>> Andrew gave him wins though. >> What wins? >> This guy. >> I know.
01:09:28
>> I gave him wins. You pulled him up. >> Wings. >> Wings. Wings. [laughter]
01:09:32
>> Oh, I was like, I gave him wings. >> Yeah. Yeah. I think you influenced him.
01:09:36
He thinks you're He's You. >> No. >> Yeah. Yeah. He's an extension of your
01:09:40
arm. >> He's an extension of my leg. [laughter] >> Yeah. >> He's holding on to my leg. Daddy.
01:09:47
>> Daddy. >> I gave him I gave him Right. I gave him lift. >> Mhm.
01:09:52
>> And so now he's flying at 35,000 ft and he he belongs in a Cessna below oxygen
01:09:58
levels. >> Right. where he >> he thinks we're peers, >> right? He Do you think we're peers?
01:10:04
>> I think at this point we're we're we're we're work friends.
01:10:09
>> No, that's not what he asked you. >> Definitely. I don't think we're peers,
01:10:12
Bobby. >> I think >> But also, I'm not a comedian, so it's a
01:10:15
different thing. >> Ah, I feel like if I was like an open mic, I want to be a comic maybe.
01:10:20
>> Ah, but I'm not I'm not in that. >> We work together. >> I'm on this side though.
01:10:24
>> We work together. >> I know. But it's like we're there's
01:10:26
different planes. I'm not even >> Do you think that you have as much power
01:10:29
as I do on the show? No. Be honest. >> No, of course. >> What do you think the power levels are,
01:10:34
though? >> You're 10,000 and I'm your 50 or something, you know? >> Well, then tell yourself that.
01:10:39
>> Okay. [laughter] >> You're 50. >> 50? I mean, it's a it's a weighted
01:10:43
scale. >> I don't know if you're 50. >> Yeah. I don't know. You're 50. What do
01:10:47
you think you If I'm >> If you're 50 and he's 100,000, what's
01:10:50
Andreas? >> Andreas is like 99,000. Wow. >> So he's >> I don't make me one of these discuss.
01:11:00
>> So he's So you guys have talked about this before. Obviously [laughter]
01:11:03
discuss >> Doesn't that sound like they've discussed this? So you're 10,000 less
01:11:06
than us. >> No. >> 300,000. >> Oh, I'm I'm 100,000. He's 300,000.
01:11:13
[laughter] >> 99 75 10 >> 50. >> And he's 300. I'm 100,000. [laughter]
01:11:23
>> Yeah. >> Okay. In what way though? >> Edit. The edit. There's so much control
01:11:26
in the edit >> and the influence. The original voice of the show shaped him into what he is.
01:11:32
>> Legend. >> Shut up. Shut up. >> No, you're talking about Andreas right
01:11:34
now, right? No, I'm talking about why is he 200,000 more. >> I mean, just planning stuff, putting
01:11:41
[laughter] stuff together, tour, Special Olympics events. >> He's trolling you so hard right now.
01:11:47
It's [ __ ] I It's getting to you, dude. >> I know. >> Don't let him troll you.
01:11:51
>> You I'm really mad. >> [laughter] >> Dude, >> I'm really mad right now.
01:11:57
>> Because he's trolling you and it's working. >> Here's why.
01:12:00
>> We get we we come to this every year to this point where I get this mad and then
01:12:07
I forget about it. [laughter] >> That's right. >> The year goes on, I forget. But I think
01:12:11
my New Year's resolution is not to forget. >> Never forget. >> I'm not intimidating. Right.
01:12:17
>> Right. And I have no power. >> No, you have less power. [laughter]
01:12:23
God. >> Yeah. But if either one of us, right, leaves the show, the show's over,
01:12:27
>> of course. >> Right. So, I would say that we're 50/50. >> We're 50/50.
01:12:31
>> Exactly. >> Yeah. But not in your eyes. >> Yeah. It's a weighted 50. 150 is a
01:12:37
little heavier than the other [laughter] 50, >> dude. He is. I know. >> He's logged in.
01:12:42
>> Yeah. Okay. >> That's interesting. >> It's so interesting.
01:12:44
>> That's very interesting. >> It's very interesting stuff. >> I feel like he's doing a very good job.
01:12:48
And Carlos has stayed like eerily quiet. [laughter] He doesn't want to [ __ ] up any
01:12:52
>> because he he's learned. >> Yeah. Because you do the forgetting
01:12:56
thing with me a lot. So I can't I have to >> I forgive. No, >> with him I forget. For you I forgive.
01:13:03
[laughter] Yeah. Okay. Don't get me wrong. I always remember. But I forgave you for those
01:13:09
things. Yeah. Yeah. >> But for you, I forget. I go, "Oh, he's he's not as as annoying as I thought."
01:13:16
>> Yeah. >> But then he is. >> He is. >> Yeah. I think I'm just a little sad that
01:13:20
you canceled on Kill Bill today. >> He cancelled as well. I had work to do.
01:13:25
>> You canceled to sleep in. [laughter] >> I I >> It started at 100 p.m.
01:13:29
>> I had to work. I hadn't slept in 4 days. I said, "Okay, I was I went from Vegas to Phoenix to
01:13:37
here." All right. I I hadn't slept. And in my And tomorrow I have the busiest
01:13:41
day imaginable. So in my mind, like Sunday is the only day I can sleep in. Mhm. >> I'm not going to wake up during my
01:13:47
sleepin day and go, I'm going to go watch Kill Bill. I'd rather sleep in.
01:13:50
What do I do, Andrew? I need your advice. [laughter] >> We're at a precipice here.
01:13:55
>> I think No, honestly, >> as the boss, you need to play You need to take some sort of disciplinary action
01:14:00
now. Is that like a temporary suspension from the show? >> I don't know. What do I do, though?
01:14:05
>> I'm just >> Be my adviser. >> I think perhaps a temporary suspension
01:14:08
might be there. I mean, not an expulsion, but you know, I don't know if he's terminating. You want to terminate?
01:14:13
>> I don't know. You're he's How close is he for termination? From
01:14:16
>> I I think I'm going to do it because he he's not intimidated and he's not he
01:14:20
doesn't believe that I'm going to do it. >> You know what I mean? And I'm going to
01:14:25
have to do it so that he believes. >> I look dude, the power's in your hands.
01:14:30
>> Can I ask you something, Andreas, real quick before I do what I'm going to do,
01:14:32
right? >> Who has all the cut footage of of Bad Friends? You do. He has no He has none
01:14:39
of that to blackmail me or to put it online. >> No, >> I have tour footage.
01:14:43
That's why he does have tour. >> Yeah. >> And I say a lot of things have
01:14:48
[laughter] to Yeah. Yeah. >> But that's our property. That's illegal
01:14:51
for him to We can We can We can >> Yeah, but I think he would if I fired him.
01:14:54
>> You think he would release? >> He would leak that stuff out. >> He won't.
01:14:59
>> You're fired. [laughter] >> It sounded intimidating to me. >> Yeah. Yeah. You're fired.
01:15:06
>> Why are you blushing? >> Well, I just want [snorts] to know if there's anything I can do to win back
01:15:09
here. >> No. Oh, that's good move. >> Yeah. Smart thing >> because with your networking this is
01:15:15
what you're not playing it right. >> Okay. >> Yeah. Yeah. The play is even if you
01:15:19
believe these things right you say the opposite >> right. There's things that like you know
01:15:25
Paulie Shore or back in when I was a kid you know what I mean? Or what Mity Shore
01:15:29
would say that I like didn't believe or like you know what I mean? But I wouldn't say it out loud. That's insane.
01:15:35
>> I got you. >> Right. So it's like >> wear the pants on the podcast.
01:15:41
>> [laughter] >> Dude, that they Yeah. >> You have to do it subtly.
01:15:47
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Not as overt. You know what I mean? Like, you know what I mean? You got to
01:15:52
train take some acting classes or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Well, how about this?
01:15:55
>> You know what I mean? And >> do you want to Do you want to dock his
01:15:57
pay? >> No, just let him. I don't give a [ __ ] >> Well, here's here this is fun.
01:16:01
>> No, it's okay. >> That's his punishment. He doesn't care.
01:16:04
>> I don't care. What if he gives his money divided into half to half goes to Fancy
01:16:08
and then the other half goes to Carly. >> No, no, he needs money. So, it's like
01:16:11
just let him do what he wants. >> No, he can sleep here at the studio. He used to do it.
01:16:15
>> He did it when he had a speestous >> at this point. [laughter] >> It's like, you know what I mean? I I
01:16:20
worked so hard to get to this place and people still don't respect me. It's
01:16:23
fine. I'm used to it. >> He respects you. >> No, no. I'm I'm used to it. I've seen
01:16:27
it. >> Raise your hand if you respect Bob in the studio. >> No, no. Put your hand down. I don't
01:16:32
honestly mccone I don't care any of you guys. All right. That's my New Year's
01:16:37
resol resolution. I'm just going to do what I do. You know, >> it's a good start to the year.
01:16:44
>> Yeah. >> 2026 is off to a hot start. >> Yeah. >> I'll tell you what I'm looking forward
01:16:50
to. >> Well, I want to hear everything. >> A long winter's nap. >> Me, too.
01:16:55
>> With mom and her kerchief and me and my cap. >> Yeah. >> I can't wait. I can't wait to just lay
01:17:00
down for like a couple weeks and I I need it. [snorts] >> I want to go on my horse.
01:17:06
>> I want to go on your horse >> and ride and just ride around that game.
01:17:12
>> Ghost of Yoai. >> Yeah. [laughter] >> You know what I mean? Go on adventures.
01:17:16
>> Let's get you a real horse. >> No. >> You could keep a mini horse at your
01:17:20
house. >> Yeah. >> You got room back there. >> You know what I realized about you the
01:17:23
other day? >> Uh-huh. >> If you're not good at it, you won't do
01:17:26
it. >> What do [clears throat] you mean? So, when we were backstage in Phoenix,
01:17:30
right, we were playing that video game >> and we're like, "Come on, play it."
01:17:33
You're like, "Nah, you played one round and that was it." >> Cuz if you're not good at it, you won't
01:17:38
participate. >> Partially true. I also didn't care to play. >> Yeah, that but I think that's a part of
01:17:43
it. >> No, no, no. I'll try I'll do stuff that I'm not that good at. I play tennis. I'm
01:17:46
not that good at tennis. >> Yeah. But when it comes to stuff like that, you're like, uh, no.
01:17:50
>> I just it what it's cool to watch, but I don't care about video games. I just
01:17:54
don't care. >> I like the competitive You don't like the competitiveness of it? I love
01:17:58
competition, but I like physical competition. >> It was a game where you mean you had
01:18:01
four characters and you're just trying to throw them off of a building. >> It's great.
01:18:05
>> It was >> It was so fun to watch. I was more of a The spectating of it was fun.
01:18:09
>> Yeah. >> But no, I just I like physical. I like >> I like games that I can play
01:18:15
>> that it's an it's an exercise of my >> We've talked about this before. Okay.
01:18:18
Ability. >> Tweet his own. >> Tweet tweet his own. >> You know what I need?
01:18:23
>> It's either your way or >> I need speech class, I think. >> Yeah. Don't you think? Why hasn't
01:18:28
anybody told me I need speech class? >> Well, we >> and the thing is is this. I say that a
01:18:32
lot. Don't I say that a lot? >> And I say, "Let me tell you something."
01:18:36
We We say the same things. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> But it's a it's a habit of your
01:18:40
communication on the >> But I I sometimes I'll commit to a word that I don't know how to pronounce, but
01:18:45
then it'll just come out of the train. I mean, the train will come out of the
01:18:48
>> Sometimes it'll come out >> the tunnel too early. Whatever. >> That's a bad analogy. You know what I
01:18:52
mean? Um [clears throat] it's Trezy. Yeah, you do have a little >> Yeah, I'll just say it and I go, "Oh, I
01:18:58
don't know the word." >> But it's coming out. >> Let it happen. Who cares? That's the
01:19:02
beauty. That's the beauty of your artistic mind. You let things fly >> where I think so fast. That's not true.
01:19:08
What you're saying? You're making fun of me. >> No, I'm saying I just You doing this
01:19:10
made me laugh and you go, I think so fast. I didn't think it was a funny It looked funny.
01:19:15
>> Yeah. I think fast, right? But then I want to get it out too fast and it comes
01:19:19
out all weird. >> That's how I write. Have you ever I handr write? I can't handwrite because
01:19:22
it's there's too much brain going like and I just can't get it out. >> Well, more than anything, we hope
01:19:28
everybody's 2026 is off to a killer start. >> And we are still going to be doing Bad
01:19:32
Friends in 2026. We cannot wait. >> It's here now. >> That's right.
01:19:37
>> And 2027 and 2028 and 2029. >> And for people that want to know, >> we in six years, the show will be coming
01:19:46
to a close. When Bobby turns 60, we're going to throw a big bash and show will
01:19:50
be done. >> In six years. Do you really? Do you want to do that? >> In six years.
01:19:53
>> When I'm 60, we should end it. >> Yeah. >> Why? Cuz I'm going to die.
01:19:57
>> No, I think that's I think you need to retire. >> Yeah. Yeah.
01:20:00
>> You need this from podcasting? >> Yeah. >> I think 6 years at 60 years old will be
01:20:04
>> I'll drift into the wilderness. >> You can just keep living the way you
01:20:07
are. >> I'll [laughter] be doing podcast. Yeah. Yeah. >> Let's predict where
01:20:12
>> But the way you I feel at 54, I felt at 40. It's the same. >> No. No, no. You're You feel better than
01:20:18
I'm going to feel when I'm your age. For sure. >> Why? >> Because I I eat unhealthy and I still
01:20:23
drink alcohol. >> You have back discs that hurt. >> I have back discs that hurt.
01:20:27
>> Yeah. >> How about this? Let's This is a fun little predictive thing real quick.
01:20:30
>> Yeah. >> At 60, when we say goodbye to the show, >> where do you think your life looks like?
01:20:35
What do you think my life looks like? >> I think I'll have a kid. >> That's okay.
01:20:40
>> By then? >> All right. How many You'll have one kid. >> How old is it?
01:20:44
>> Like >> 18. >> [laughter] >> I'm going to adopt. >> Good.
01:20:49
>> I'm going to adopt at You know what I mean? >> No. No. You might have a kid. You are
01:20:52
You think >> At 12? I'm going to adopt a 12-year-old. >> You think at 60 you're going to be in in
01:20:56
love and married? >> No. Single father. >> Single father. >> Yeah. With an 18-year-old Russian kid.
01:21:01
>> Okay. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Where am I going to be? >> Oh, it's going to be great.
01:21:06
>> What? >> Go on. Yeah. >> You're going to make the stitching on a
01:21:09
on a baseball. [sighs] See that baseball? >> That's going to be my job.
01:21:13
>> Yeah. Yeah. [laughter] You just do that red stitching on the >> So comedy I'm out. Podcasting I'm out.
01:21:18
>> Something's happened. Yeah. >> Yeah. So I need to go back to stitching.
01:21:21
>> My original first love. >> Yeah. >> Stitching. >> Yeah. But you're going to be the best at
01:21:25
it. >> So I'm the best stitcher in the world. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> So that's good.
01:21:29
>> That's good. >> Yeah. >> Thank you for being a bad friend.
01:21:32
[laughter] Woo! Yeah! Woo!