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this episode of bad friends is presented and fueled by huel your go-to for Complete Nutrition try hu with 15% off
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today using code badri at my.u.com badri hey scary times
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USA we did a live it was really great so much fun yeah yeah you have to check it out man you have to check it out a lot
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of people think it might be up on YouTube it's not it's only going to be never on YouTube moment. co/ badri link
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is in the description for 11 days that's all we got left we have hoodies and shirts stuff that's only custom for that
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this was one of the most fun live episodes interactive with fans that we've done we're going to keep doing them we love them but in 11 days gone
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forever gone forever so go to moment. badf friends watch it you two are bad
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friends who are these two idiots my dude and an Asian dude you two are
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disgusting you two or something we're bad friends does a bee have a dick does it yes male bees also known as drones
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have a penis or beus a beus it gets ripped out what what his
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penis is doomed to be ripped out from his body along with his intestines when he goes looking for love so the moment he has sex penis
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gone wow one and done that's why they're very faithful yeah during the ma mating
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fight flight several male bees called drones will be selected from thousands of others in their colony to mount the Virgin Queen Bee mid-flight so they all
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oh so she's a skank so she takes it from all the all these bees yeah they give it
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to her and then they die yeah you don't have to go raise your hand what's up what's up we're like professors at a college yes young lady Rudy please
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there's a video on Tik Tok about a girl that bang 101 men okay that has nothing to do with bees queen bee oh is that her
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name queen bee it should be wait a minute there's a woman who's banged 101 men what what in her lifetime no like
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once like in one sitting in one day yeah that I mean those are called Gang no not
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gang bangs what do they call them uh yeah gang bang gang bang yeah no that's more than a gang bang 101 guys one day
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that's a small col I never get invited to those parties do you I did get invited but I couldn't make I had a can I be
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102 imagine being2 a woman films aftermath of sleeping with 101 men in
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just 14 hours wow you got to be exhausted yeah you got to be exhausted would you either be 102 or one how much
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would you how much would I have to pay you to sleep in that bed when it's done with 101 guys I mean honestly for one night would you
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sleep in that bed after a 100 if I was in the thing yeah no no no this is yeah yeah I'm not
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going to sleep there if I'm like I wasn't like they're like you're not a part of it how funny though and then I'm like I yeah that's a good fantasy
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football punishment you lose in your fantasy league you got to sleep in the bed of 101 uh 101 dudes aftermath zoom
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in a little bit that is awful who litter is that orgy Yeah clean up after you
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right yeah so many I mean you're just throwing paper towels and C ketchup packets and like what the [ __ ] is going
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on here dude you called what yeah you would I'm eating chicken and stuff yeah I'm eating fried chicken well you have
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to wait in line she's Prett what are you going to do in line well you'd be on your phone the whole time yeah I'd be like tick tocking scrolling Fried
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Chicken right imagine if it's your turn to get up there and gang bang her and you're like dude I am so close to finishing this Goku I have to finish
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this and then guess what also I'm eating huh blue Chu yes you are she's actually very she's pretty hot but you know
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what's so crazy yeah about this is you just called me out a week ago about this about being too like a clean freak you
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know me I'd be waiting in line for the gang bang cleaning up after everybody oh I know you please don't leave all this
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especially if it's at your house oh please my God my God that's why we don't host gang bangs anymore wait so she's an
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only fans girl her name is Lily Phillips yeah and she's so 101 guys in one day is
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she setting a is this at least a record no there's no way yeah I don't think that's a record yeah yeah I think somebody did it a thousand times oh in
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14 hours oh no not in 14 hours I don't know that's a that's so much I mean because technically they don't have to
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come so you could just have what I would do what I would do is I'd lay there and go just one pump every so I can get just
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get through everyone that's okay one pump and then you would have to use a condom right uh I would [ __ ] hope so
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what 101 guys I would hope you'd wrap it up yeah but the girl the girl said they
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she didn't need um like an STD test to prove that they're clean what they did
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not yeah and did they wear a condom you get first priority if you have like a
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like a proof but you don't need they have a fast pass like Disneyland wow front of the line much about what that
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way they Fastpass and then also you know they also have the Fastpass they have kids in wheelchairs that go next to it do those guys get to the front as well
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or do they have to wait in line well for military first yeah boing military
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military get to go for them well yeah military and and what is it people people who need more time to board yeah
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let them go first in the gang bang yeah yeah and then we'll get the first class and then the elderly oh they got to come
00:05:02
on grabs let's go I can't wait to peel your [ __ ] to Pieces yeah so wait a
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minute dude look I just did the math because I'm stupid 101 guys in 14 hours seven guys an hour seven an hour wow
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that's almost two guys every 15 minutes so they are it must have sounded like a
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construction zone next door yeah people would have been like what's going on over there would I don't know I mean I
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just uh I don't know I just wouldn't be able to get it up I don't think look if I got a terminal illness yeah I'm I'm
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gonna tell my wife I gotta leave you and I gotta go join this world's greatest gang bang I gotta go one time I was on I was at an audition okay now this is how
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the Hollywood stuff starts here we go I was audition and I walk in and it was all like it was finesse Mitchell Eric
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GFF like all my friends and we were high-fiving right we were making each other laugh right and then all a sudden
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I hear somebody go okay Bobby and I ate that audition so it was [ __ ] bad the
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same thing's going to happen at that [ __ ] gang bang oh you're going to [ __ ] I'm going to [ __ ] around right what's up dude you know what I mean
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great movie or whatever right you did a great job or whatever right and then as soon as my name's called I'm going to
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walk in there and it's going to be completely dead nothing's going to work I don't know man I would have to maybe
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you get nervous I would grab a breast gotta no I wonder what her rules I would
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try to get it going you know mean so I would grab a breast and I would probably always go are you okay right is
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everything okay you wouldn't ask I'd be the first I'd be the one guy who kisses her that's and she's like what are you
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doing yeah I just I just want to foreplay a little a little foreplay the world's biggest gangbang by the way uh
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was a Hollywood studio Annabelle Chong one of ours look at that oh Annabelle Chong 300 men oh my oh my God our Asian
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wait wait this is the best part it said the participants were far fewer than advertised so she only got to get to
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251 let's be nice that's still incredible wow can we see a picture of Annabelle Chong please mhm it was in '
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95 that's in 1995 mhm and she's where go scroll down a little bit where's she from Grace her born University of
00:07:07
Southern C she went to USC she's from Singapore wow hey what does she look like now guess who's going to Singapore
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Bobby yeah yeah Annabelle if you're still working Bob and I are coming with a bad Friends crew we'd love to meet you what does she look like now animal Chong
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now I mean yeah yeah oh still pretty good oh she's pretty yeah oh wow she
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known professionally as Annabelle Chong is a Singaporean former pornographic actress who became famous after starting an adult film that was performed with
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the world's biggest gang bang so she's no longer working but I she's running like a shop somewhere she's probably
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just doing like a a clothing store oh she's 52 Bob Chong's dong wow younger
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than you the queen of gang bang is younger than you that's how you know you're
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getting older yeah Rudy what's been going on with you I failed an exam oh
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great that's fantastic what that's bad I'm clapping that's good no I said that's fantastic have to fail in order
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to learn how to win learn how to win that's right what did you which one wait wait wait let's guess well ask me some
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of the questions that's on the exam maybe I can answer that I don't even know that's why I failed wait wait you
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don't know what topic it was what what the subject matter was um it's like DNA transcription here we go I'm the expert
00:08:18
of DNA go ahead ask biology you failed biology right microbiology microbiology like give me like a just any question
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that they might have um are you [ __ ] kidding me you don't even know one question on the exam she said she failed
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failed how many questions are there there were 50 questions you don't know one no oh my God it was it's like about
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um transcription like DNA replication can you talk us about DNA replication
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that's what I'm saying okay here you go Bob what's the difference between bacteria and viruses well they're about amibas you
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mean one has an amoeba or whatever fail no I'm not done well you're done you're failed no I'm not can I finish yeah dude
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you know you're so rude thank you know dude you know what I realized about you Tuesday when we did the live show dude
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you're a little cocky I'm cocky yeah and a little bit like confident and assure of yourself
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people see that that's what the audience said remember when they said that people see they people see it right that I'm confident yeah what do they what do they
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say uh uh Tuesday night why are you bringing this up starting a war what did they say Tuesday night huh they asked
00:09:26
Andrew um he was better than are you arrogant or better or you think you're better that's what I'm getting at you
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know what I mean and I want you to lower it no I don't think I'm better than anybody except for
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you see that's what I'm saying it's just you that's it I treat her very well but I wonder why the audience read that it's
00:09:43
one woman okay one woman said that and also by the way I know why she said that what there a bad she's negging it's a
00:09:49
bad neg yeah it's like a bad flirt it's a shitty flirt so I'm sitting in the audience watching Andrew perform and
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there was a pretty attractive woman next to me and during one of your jokes people are laugh laughing and she turns
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to me and she goes your friend's hot you know what I did I
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went it was just an instinctual like was this a girl that you were with or just a random girl some random girl but I just
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wanted like if I could spit out poison yeah you would you I mean had a rattle dude I would have right right in her
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neck you know what I mean like a scorpion right in the neck dude you're very buffed oh [ __ ] off I love you rude
00:10:28
you know what let me say this oh here we go I'll say this I love our fans more than anything I thank them graciously it
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means the world to me people may think that I'm like uh shut down or cold but
00:10:43
if you know me you know I'm not I just have a demeanor that has so much trauma and damage that I just feel a
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little blank sometimes so people don't know I'm I would love to say hi and smile at you but when I walk around town
00:10:58
maybe I look a little and that's because I'm a broken shattered dude yeah backstage too I I I
00:11:05
like to observe other people that aren't familiar with you know comics and stuff and they get a little nervous around you
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only because I'm so I'm so kind of stuck I know but I see people going like you know I mean it's like what's
00:11:19
going on well because here's the deal boy your life are you lost you are a bright beautiful light you're I come in
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there with joy dude and that's what my thing is dude I'm pure joy you are and mine is comedy from a very um kind of
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like a very like planted space and you're a more you're you are a bright shiny star you're like Napoleon you know
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what I am okay I'm I am a I'm a I you have to dig for me I'm a gem but you
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have to dig for me okay you got to get down in there you you know who you are you're bio what's that bioluminescence
00:11:50
you know that when the ocean glows at night that's you thank you yeah and it's a compliment I'm just saying I'm a gem
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as well I just I'm Different you have to dig for me a little bit that's makes us so wonderful I have another philosophical question for you though
00:12:02
what if what if we don't have a shovel and that's the real question wow yeah what if we don't have a shovel you have
00:12:08
to use your hands you have to get creative no no yeah why don't you open up your own
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hole I'm not like I like opening up myle you don't have to dig I'm not like you I
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don't want to open my hole to everybody like you don't have the time to dig dude well you know what happens to the people that open their hole all the time to everybody they end up in [ __ ] huge
00:12:26
gang bangs oh that's right and then they're immortalized forever as the gangang so guess what from now on you my friend
00:12:33
you're Queen my friend you're the queen be of this show yeah friendo you're the queen bee yeah okay I'm the dirty Gem
00:12:38
and you're the queen bee okay I'll be the queen bee dude that's fine you are because you get [ __ ] by thousands of people and you get tired of it I know
00:12:44
you turn to me sometimes after you've opened your hole too much and you say to me I don't want to do it anymore and I
00:12:49
say give the people what they want [ __ ] and you do I love the way you reversed
00:12:55
it by the way we had so many people at the live show that came and asked to see your butthole and or your penis but what
00:13:02
bothers me is these guys it's always these Brazen men show me your butthole and your penis and then I say will you
00:13:09
show Bobby your butthole and your penis that's a fair exchange and they get so creeped out as if that's crazy to go you
00:13:17
asked for his butthole show him your butthole fair is fair am I wrong so fair so fair I didn't like it that guy got
00:13:23
weird about it he was like that's [ __ ] weird like what no because I think you said and let him suck it or
00:13:28
something you said something like that I said let him kiss it yeah yeah yeah I said let him kiss it so I think I think
00:13:34
that was the part that he was like h no I don't know man I'll tell you well dude yeah party party with us
00:13:41
or don't I I felt a little I will say I had a moment of true vulnerability that I play played off for comedy when you
00:13:49
kissed that guy in the front row that was fun and then he said something else you said something else about kiss him
00:13:54
and I said no now I get to kiss your wife or your girlfriend that's right that's right making a joke do and she
00:14:00
she wanted to do it why didn't you do it I no thank you I don't want to kiss this guy's wife but she was like yes I'd and
00:14:06
he was like yeah she can I was like no no no no I don't that was a joke I then I went can I and they said yes and she
00:14:12
didn't she said no she no no no oh yeah yeah and then so then I try to kiss the guy again and he goes no no he didn't
00:14:17
want it more than once yeah yeah so I'm like Wella he's a true yeah we have look I'm cool if we've got some cuck fans
00:14:22
yeah I'm down for cuckery it's what Rudy really wants to have happen in her relationship you know back in the day when they used to have black and white a
00:14:29
cck king don't you yeah black and white fountains remember back in the day you you mean if it was a white fountain you
00:14:34
couldn't drink out of it what what do you mean Oh you mean the back in 60s yeah segregation yeah yeah look at that
00:14:40
I mean the colored one is better no it's not it's not right no the white one you put your penis in the middle of it yeah
00:14:45
yeah but imagine that's disgusting it's so disgusting that's a part of our [ __ ] history history dude they
00:14:51
wouldn't share water with black people that's how [ __ ] crazy stupid it is that's crazy [ __ ] or when they couldn't
00:14:56
even like sit at at like a at the restaurant like at a like Diner table
00:15:01
what they had their own section they wouldn't even be able to go go in certain ones yeah of course like some of the you know the Jazz
00:15:07
documentary we're not going back in please don't go back let me give I have some historical context there okay all
00:15:14
right some of these jazz bands right would go into a town play a hotel but they couldn't stay there right I know
00:15:21
right so you know what did I say this already where what did I just say this already where what would happen is you
00:15:27
know count bass here what would go with his band right they couldn't stay there but their wives would go into the black
00:15:33
neighborhood while they're on stage and ask the residents the the bands in town can they
00:15:39
stay so then they he they would coordinate like yeah yeah little slim you know I mean and Jackie eyes can
00:15:45
sleep here you know I mean yeah and Frank Frank Frankie the [ __ ] and you mean trom Bon Tony can sleep here you
00:15:50
know mean and they they would all you know trom Bon Tony I love him so he's got little toes yeah yeah little toes
00:15:55
Tomo trombo Tony yeah and squeaky peek squeaky peek and you know whatever and
00:16:01
then then then after the show the wives would come back and go we got you place to State that's insane yeah that was a
00:16:07
reality it would sell out yeah that's a green book the whole movie was about that not being able to perform in
00:16:12
certain places Green Mile or green book Green Mile was a totally different movie Green Book green book won an Academy
00:16:18
Academy Award with uh um academ Min academ Min award it wasn't a full-size one what's it what's his name like vgo I
00:16:26
mean vgo morgenson and uh and uh MERS Ali do you not you never saw that movie
00:16:31
oh my God you're in the in your jazz in you're in your Jazz era he toured the country and V [ __ ] was his driver of a
00:16:39
black oh no I don't understand it oh do you know it though I don't hurt me
00:16:45
really you're a movie guy it won an Academy Award there's so many movies though dude no no this won an Academy Award really you saw every Academy Award
00:16:52
movie I think I've seen every movie that's won an Academy Award Ordinary People yes seen it name one there's no
00:16:58
Academy Award movie I've never seen Kramer versus Kramer yeah dude I've seen Kramer versus [ __ ] what's it about Kramer saying
00:17:05
the n word at the Laugh Factory no no what's it what's it about what is Kramer versus Kramer about it's a it's a court
00:17:11
case film about what about Kramer versus Kramer but what is it Kramer dude you never saw it no I never saw it's a
00:17:17
divorce yeah no I did I se about a divorce Hoffman was it I have seen it did Kramer versus Kramer get anything I
00:17:23
don't know I was just making that up no but Oppenheimer yes everything yes Kota no actually Kota is the first one I haven't seen on that list seen Koda uh
00:17:30
greenbook parasite shape of water Moonlight Birdman Spotlight Argo I've seen all these 12 years slave Hurt
00:17:35
Locker AR let King speech I never saw it I did see the of course I never saw it no that was good no country departed all
00:17:41
these I've seen all these so I watched No Country for Old Men again that scene in the gas station with that old man is
00:17:48
probably the mo it's he he gives me the creeps in a way that no one can do call it friendo yeah friendo but it's also
00:17:55
just that the performance of the man that was you know I mean the guy was so good if you really look at it he the
00:18:02
actor the yeah yeah I mean he's like a character actor I don't know who he is but like it it just it's just so good
00:18:08
and his response dude have you seen this movie no that character right there is insane go back real fast I did there's
00:18:14
one more that I know you and I definitely have never seen is Chicago we've I've never SE saw Chicago no never seen the play or the [ __ ] um English
00:18:21
Patient fantastic Forest Gump very good great so what's the what's the repercussions of you failing your micro
00:18:28
biology exam well I have three more exams to go and I have right now like a
00:18:35
B minus oh you're fine dude A B minus I graduated high school with a c minus you
00:18:41
can yeah that's good that's not good good even having a d is okay I was last
00:18:47
in my class we know and you're first in our hearts thank you Al so nothing you're learning you're going to use in
00:18:52
your [ __ ] life anyway so it's I wouldn't say that's totally you biologist you're not going to be a biologist well I'm taking fish classes
00:18:58
and want yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah marine biologist perhaps maybe yeah if you said you wanted to work in the water you
00:19:03
definitely need to know that stuff I don't you just do animals just be a vet or whatever you would probably need to
00:19:09
pass biology to be a vet you do 100% yeah that's a big deal you know you need to know about
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00:21:51
badri wow so um I wonder what you would need to know I mean to be a vet veteran I mean do you I'm sorry I'm dumb but um
00:21:58
I'm dumb do you do you spend like doctor eight years in medical school to be a
00:22:03
vet yeah I don't know if it's a full eight I think it's six though yeah I think it's six which is a long [ __ ]
00:22:08
time long four year okay so it's oh it is said eight years in total typically
00:22:14
takes about eight wow and then do you make a lot of money I think vets make good money really well I can tell you
00:22:20
how much my [ __ ] that's true the scan cost when I went to the vet for the emergency vet yeah did I tell you this
00:22:26
when my dog was puking and [ __ ] blood no the average Sal for a vet in California is 171 wow that's a pretty
00:22:31
good thing pretty good that's very good very good yeah I took my dog to the vet and we don't have pet insurance and it
00:22:37
was an emergency cuz she was throwing up blood and getting blood and I pan I had the worst Panic man I was so scared so
00:22:43
sad then we go there and they take all these X-rays and stuff and they're like you know this is not covered and I said we don't even have insurance she goes
00:22:49
okay I just want to let you know comes back with the bill and uh it's $1,500 also on top of that she goes um
00:22:58
some of the staff is a big fan can we take pictures of you yeah I was like my dog just [ __ ] blood at least a discount
00:23:04
no discount no [ __ ] no no discount no picture discount I was happily taking pictures like my dog pooping blood and
00:23:09
I'm taking photos wow I did the right thing but I was also like that's a little weird to ask me to take photos
00:23:15
first thing in the morning when my dog is [ __ ] blood and I'm a little worried and you're like can we get a picture for the studio for the office I
00:23:20
was like sure is the blood thing taken care of is she still [ __ ] [ __ ]
00:23:26
blood yeah it was a little weird you know what my thing is is whenever I'm in a [ __ ] pet food store I hate it when
00:23:33
there always old white ladies they come in and they go what's the cheapest cat food you got dry right and I'm always
00:23:40
like you know what I mean I'm always like that's your [ __ ] family member yeah that's the love of your life well
00:23:46
here's the deal it's an economic thing for some people right so some people can't what some people can't afford to level up it's hard yeah but it's just
00:23:53
like the cheapest you don't walk in the cheapest well think about let's genuinely let's let's do this the the in
00:23:59
the scope of America most people have to buy the cheapest gas the cheapest
00:24:05
groceries by being arrogant a little bit no not arrogant but you're being am I am I being I think you're forgetting out of
00:24:11
touch with reality here a little bit my dog nice [ __ ] too like I think it's yeah but you live foolishly you know they're
00:24:17
not the the gap between cheapest and average isn't that much you're talking
00:24:23
about a dollar or two right I agree with you I agree but I'm saying most Americans have to buy
00:24:29
the cheapest gas the cheapest food the cheapest everything to get through the the the their lives yeah but it's just
00:24:34
like we're blessed that we that you don't have I don't know dude because even when I in my early 20s I had two
00:24:39
cats and I went to the pet food store and I got like I had no money and I still went like I'm not going to get the
00:24:44
cheapest one I know you're because I want them to you know I mean at least survive I agree but I think most people
00:24:50
don't can't I think that's the bummer I they care I think some people don't care I think most people with pets give a
00:24:56
[ __ ] about their pets they love their pets that's why there's like a what's that place called that's near my old
00:25:01
house uh just dog just for dogs just food for dogs that shit's so expensive I
00:25:06
walked in there one time and I was like this is [ __ ] rude it was like a I love it there twb bag of food for like
00:25:12
80 bucks I was like what the [ __ ] are you Fe they're like we hand cut up fet yeah they do that's crazy no it's not
00:25:18
crazy and let me say what Bobby pays for the dogs you do that yeah that's so much
00:25:24
money well it's my dogs dude I know dude but that's like an that's an inflation if I go to [ __ ] Blvd right or you
00:25:31
know what I mean or M Ros right I'm going to get my dog dude I got [ __ ]
00:25:37
noo for my cats that's [ __ ] insane right and they didn't like it so I'm like oh I guess this isn't going to be a
00:25:42
thing you got the fanciest Sushi and La I cut up the the salmon too and all that stuff like really thinly I go maybe
00:25:48
that'll work I put gravy on it they don't like it crazy no it's not crazy no no it's crazy it's funny but it's I
00:25:55
guess it's you know here's and I'm going to cause a little controversy out here I might as well put my foot down okay and
00:26:03
maybe some people and I was going to say white people but I'm not going to say that I don't want to generalize right no
00:26:08
go ahead and do it yeah they view their animals as you know a lower family
00:26:13
member not true yeah don't generalize whites because I don't do that and he doesn't do that you know but it's like don't do that to whites just
00:26:21
people how about this then you want to take it there I I I that's why I brought it up dude let's take it there no let's
00:26:27
take it there let's take it there let's generalize ASI okay you're going to do
00:26:33
cat we eat them what time out don't go eat we don't eat them really I don't eat
00:26:40
them then don't generalize all whites not in this America maybe in some [ __ ] remote Village and well you're
00:26:48
talking about a global population here buddy do do Asians eat animals I know you're going to do this again with the
00:26:54
[ __ ] slave the Korean slaves thing no do that's what you're trying to do get a moment Rudy do people still eat dogs in the
00:27:01
phili we've talked about this before it's like rural rural thank you and yet it happens but we're still in that
00:27:07
three-year grace period where it's legal to eat in South Korea they still haven't passed that bill but we did pass it
00:27:12
congrat you [ __ ] 202 2024 in three [ __ ] years what about hey buddy I'll
00:27:17
I'll I'll double down on you then give it to me what about squirrels yeah show me some Whit eat squ
00:27:23
yeah and snakes and [ __ ] how about this then you get [ __ ] have you even attempted to pass [ __ ] law did not
00:27:29
eat squirrels those cute little critters from the Tre they're delicious they're delicious you've never had one would you
00:27:35
eat a squirrel I think I would 100% they're so good I look at them right there is that a fet oh my God look at
00:27:43
them it's all dark meat yeah so good so good oh my God Yum Yum Yum Yum Yum look
00:27:50
at that what I'm saying is is that I don't know why you went from me you know spending a little bit more money for my
00:27:55
cats to us eating dogs you did it I don't know how it went from one there to there look you can't generalize and say
00:28:02
all whites ex I I took it back already thank you I'll take mine back too then yeah but Asians still eat dogs yeah and
00:28:08
you guys eat squirrels yeah thank you okay but but but I know there's no people that have pets as
00:28:13
squirrels oh there are who has a squirrel go to dodo go to dodo yeah where's that
00:28:20
YouTube and he has a squirrel dodo there's a lot of srel friends that the people have in in their home in their
00:28:26
home no they keep them outside and they see them every day in the home dude there we go that's a guy chilling on a
00:28:31
kitchen table dude look at that guy look at that dude how fatty is too
00:28:37
that looks like lunch to me I know what do they feed them like fancy nuts they might yeah but that like aan nuts yeah
00:28:45
but there's there's a difference between like you know airplane nuts right and going to like a you know going to
00:28:50
arowana or something and getting like organic nuts unsalted you know what I mean mhm right I guess that's what I
00:28:57
would do I would assume girlfriend come from the same farm and some of them are just packaged for airwan okay okay I don't know how
00:29:03
they're packaged I don't know what the farm well you know what that's it then we need to do bad friends visits a farm we need to go visit a farm so we can
00:29:09
find out my point though being is Boom there's another one chilling watching [ __ ] you know reality TV on a couch
00:29:15
dude probably you know 90-day fiance look at the [ __ ] look at them chilling he's watching Love is Blind yeah love is blind chilling there he's
00:29:21
so fat I know they're so cute they are so cute I know no look okay let's get back to your go back yeah I Val you my
00:29:28
pet the first thing the first person I kiss in my home when I walk I I know you do because I know that you spent
00:29:34
$1,500 but there's a lot of people that like at at the like what how much it going to cost well people some people
00:29:39
can't afford it I'm lucky that I could afford it you I'm lucky I'm lucky I'm lucky that I'm able to do that Carlos's
00:29:45
dog goes to the vet and it costs him two grand or something like that he's in some [ __ ] he's calling us would you pay
00:29:51
it yeah of course he would there we go but he's scared yeah that's yeah I'm not
00:29:56
I'm not saying the feeling behind it yeah it's going to be a hit and it's going to be [ __ ] a bummer but I'm just saying it's like but you're right
00:30:01
well depends on what the like okay here's here here's one all right when you guys when you guys The Grapes yeah
00:30:09
the grapes I got a call like oh yeah all the dogs are in the vet right and you got to help with the money right cuz
00:30:16
they all ate grapes yeah so I go they ate [ __ ] grapes like Roman emperors what the [ __ ] are you talking about
00:30:23
right they're yeah and they and then nothing happened but you guys we had to spend thousands of dollars for what yeah
00:30:30
exactly so what was that all about the vet said that they were going to die but why are you freaking the [ __ ] dogs in
00:30:37
the [ __ ] vet the first place we called First and they said yeah take them you eat one grape no it was three
00:30:44
yeah yeah I know amongst four dogs they ate three grapes and I get this call like it's going to cost all this money I
00:30:50
was like what the [ __ ] is going on here so in that case yes I'd be like uh grapes we'll figure it out we'll figure
00:30:56
it out yeah yeah wait a minute a bar of chocolate I would be like H let's just see take it hour by hour can dogs not
00:31:02
eat grapes I do not I don't think it was grapes what it was it grapes the number of grapes can be lethal to a dog depends on the dog's weight but the general rule
00:31:07
of thumb is that one grape per 10 pounds of body weight is potentially dangerous why grapes and raisins cause acute
00:31:13
kidney failure in dogs what I mean my dog doesn't eat gra now know I that's
00:31:19
crazy I don't know I'm glad I know yeah yeah and also why you have [ __ ] just free grapes laying on the ground cuz we
00:31:25
were taking care of a crow so we were feeding him great oh that's right the
00:31:31
crow of course oh you know how you know what they did for me I hope they got you a crow no oh my God I feel so bad about
00:31:38
that i't talk about this about the little bird I'm in the backyard with gooner yeah
00:31:45
okay and oh I know no you don't and I look and there's a bird a baby bird had
00:31:52
fallen from the tree mhm right and I look at gunar and Gunner's just
00:31:58
you know what I mean mm and I'm like he's not gonna oh yeah and he goes up and just breaks it breaks its neck with
00:32:04
his [ __ ] jaw right and then I [ __ ] grab Goa bring him in the house and now
00:32:09
the [ __ ] you know what I mean it's like the bir little bird going it was [ __ ] insane dude right
00:32:16
it was making these right and I'm I I call them they come over and then I go you got to keep this bird
00:32:23
Alive Now go right please his head is off I know it was like you know you know
00:32:29
and and they came over it died right it died three days after three days is pretty good though yeah but I tried
00:32:34
everything I tried everything we love we love our friends in the sky that's what my point the friends in the you should
00:32:40
have taken them out three days of suffering yeah you could have thrown them off the hill you drown him what yeah you drown I'm sorry you drown him
00:32:48
excuse me you drown him you take that bird you go to your pool and he
00:32:55
drown don't what I I you no I'm kidding that's insane you would do that no but my dog insane my dog has my dog has come
00:33:03
back with all with different rodeny things or whatever and I do but you you gotta it's you got to get rid of it cuz
00:33:08
it's suffering it's crazy it's awful when dogs do this it's a bummer but when
00:33:13
they're living just those three days for the bird is like [ __ ] kill me [ __ ] kill yeah I don't know I don't I don't
00:33:20
know bird so I don't know I got I have a few if I newor what I do I mean I went to college with four or five of them
00:33:25
yeah yeah but I still talk to one of them if there was like 5% chance that he it was just like you know a spray neck
00:33:31
or whatever right that's why I called because the worst would be like I'll just leave it there yeah and then day
00:33:37
three I go back there and he's still you know I mean that would have been bad if he was paralyzed after that you guys
00:33:42
little bird wheelchair yeah yeah little bird wheelchair you know it's so funny Andreas you're trying to make fun of me
00:33:47
like I have EMP I have empathy for the little creatures in the world you know what movie makes me really sad what part
00:33:53
in Raising Arizona when one of my favorite movies of all time me too and when that you know the the bad biker yes right and he
00:34:01
he shoots that lizard mhm I don't know why even as a young man I went oh you
00:34:06
know what else it is that actor that guy he's so good and you believe how he's so mean in his heart and the music was so
00:34:14
powerful yeah God that movie was if you haven't seen that movie couldn't recommend it more it's it's cuz it's Cen
00:34:21
Brothers finest it does two things okay and in the same year they did this there's two movies that are my favorite
00:34:27
movies movies is this and also Evil Dead 2o those two movies are just
00:34:33
masterpieces but ' 89 88 yeah this movie is so [ __ ] good and the beauty her
00:34:39
name is Ed is one of the funniest things on earth he falls in love with a woman Holly Hunter kills that movie cuz Ed is
00:34:44
such a beautiful like guy guys name look at Nicholas kage how young you know the
00:34:49
concept of this movie they can't have a child and so they decide they're going to steal someone's baby who's an embarrassment of riches yeah it's
00:34:55
[ __ ] great it's a comedy though especially when Nicholas when Nicholas Cage goes up with the ladder into the
00:35:02
[ __ ] baby's room and Nathan Arizona's house yeah Nathan Arizona's house and there's that F minute Montage of him trying to handle the babies is so
00:35:09
cleverly done so cute it's so good it's such a good scene there's another scene where he runs into his um bedroom right
00:35:15
cuz he has to I forget what he has to do and he sees a Playboy Magazine on his bed and he puts it underneath the thing
00:35:21
and then he walks away and then he comes back and looks at the Playboy and then bring it back in there cuz he needs one
00:35:27
more look it's like those little things that makes that movie so special that's such a such a great movie you got to
00:35:33
watch that okay but you should be studying for your test before you watch another movie yeah so can we get you through school first yeah yeah please
00:35:40
cuz I don't want you to fail after all the work you put in when you think about it she started the show as a senior in high school I can't believe it and now
00:35:46
you're graduating college that's so incredible it's it really makes me sad it makes me sad cuz we're closer to
00:35:53
death that's all that you and I are doing you really think of that we're crawling towards death there's death hey we're on our way yeah and she's about to
00:36:00
just grow into a fun adult life of Fun and Freedom and but you know who my [ __ ] guy is I look at to make me feel
00:36:06
more like he's like sort of like if he dies I'm [ __ ] cuz he he's a little
00:36:12
ahead of me in the comedy scene yeah yeah he's a little ahead of me I see him all the time Marin no and I look at him
00:36:18
no it's like no smaller smaller tinier person than Marin yeah Brad Williams no
00:36:24
in between think in between cold cold hot also I'm older than Brad it's a guy that's older than me and I no no you're
00:36:30
not I am no little people are are a thousand years old he's been living forever he's lived seven lifetime yeah
00:36:36
yeah we have no idea how old they you have to cut them in half and Count Their R yesterday I I saw Brad and I said a
00:36:43
couple of things some dwarf jokes in the green room and I don't think it went over well in the room he's our boy what
00:36:49
I go I just walked into the room I go how's the carnival I don't know why I said that and then I so for some reason
00:36:54
everyone was in there I go oh they love candy corn I don't even know if that's a fact they do yeah yeah yeah but so my point
00:37:00
is I always keep a pocket it's David Spade oh Spade so when I see Spade because he's like five years older than me mhm and and he looks good he does so
00:37:07
I go oh he looks good so I'm going to worry when he doesn't look good well here's the problem this isn't Apples to
00:37:13
Apples do you know what I mean don't do this it's like this is zucchini toir don't do this right no because
00:37:20
don't do this right well he's he takes care of himself a little he work he exercises I went hiking yesterday for so
00:37:25
long no [ __ ] way yeah so long with whom by myself in the dark where in the
00:37:31
dark yeah the one by our house no proof and and this time you know where I go no proof there's a marker that I have you
00:37:38
know there's the first bench on that yeah now we go double that can I ask you something can or SC can I recommend
00:37:44
something as a friend please don't hike in the dark if you fall or slip or something bad happens who the [ __ ] is
00:37:51
going to get you that's the that's the thing I want oh you want to go I'd rather you not yeah you the only thing
00:37:56
that I'm worried about is Bobcats yeah dude you know I mean weird
00:38:02
people or yeah what about weirdos what about some guy that's waiting to [ __ ] kill you oh yeah I mean please don't
00:38:09
please don't hike at night why there's other there's people families at night I see them with the flashlights I've seen
00:38:15
Alpha Dog I know what happens when you hike at night you end up in a pit great movie wow please don't hike at night
00:38:21
okay I'm concerned for your wellbeing but do you want to hike during the day with me I would love to go hiking I'd love to there's a hike Hill right by our
00:38:28
houses that's the one I went to last well let me let's go yeah I kind of want to do it solo because I'll tell you why
00:38:34
can can I tell you why can I tell you why though can I tell you why yes it's
00:38:40
Pace oh you know what I mean I understand yeah I I kind I put my hands behind my back like an old Korean man I
00:38:47
do that and I kind of Mosey up there with music shuffle would be the word I shuffle up there with music yeah and I
00:38:52
go as long as I can and I come back down I appreciate that I respect that I would love to hike with you but I totally understand that that's
00:38:58
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badri you know what there's an old saying and it's from a sitcom there's an old saying it's from a
00:41:40
sitcom it's called different struges you know what I mean what you talking about Willis Willis right what you talking
00:41:45
about Willis right yeah that's what I want to say to you dude that was the
00:41:51
wrong sitcom line it really yeah honestly yeah I was trying to you know what I got I got it Bob I got you
00:41:58
there is an old sitcom line that you should that that speaks exactly to you about what we're talking about
00:42:04
dite no that one's definitely not that's not it no there is an old one that I got to tell you it's perfect for this to
00:42:11
[ __ ] teach you about this world give it to me give it to her dude did I do
00:42:17
that perfect wait what what's sit is that Family Matters that's [ __ ]
00:42:24
that's that's one of his catch phrases did I do that I don't know if that is
00:42:29
what are you insane did I do that did I do that is that when you heard of that yeah okay where did you [ __ ] grow up
00:42:35
you don't know did I do that I never saw that one Steve Urkel even I know that yeah even the
00:42:41
spard [ __ ] knows you don't have to Google it I believe you but you made me think that I'm wrong did I do that did I
00:42:48
do that I've met him a couple times Jal I like him a lot yeah he's a sweet kid I've heard he's great he's a nice guy
00:42:55
did I do that yeah he would break oh I see I remember yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
00:43:00
there he is yeah by the way this is a character that I'm sure in this day and age they would be like it just feels
00:43:06
like we're targeting a a type of person right if you wrote that character on a TV show they'd be like I don't know if
00:43:11
we can do that there's no way isn't that [ __ ] wild yeah you know you used to call me at 300 in the morning randomly
00:43:17
back in the day when I lived on Beachwood before I met Kila 3 in the morning no it's a sitcom guy you're not
00:43:23
going to believe it um hold on hold on and he always ask me man I'm in town what you doing go I'm
00:43:30
sleeping by the sound of it hey man hey it's
00:43:35
me yeah uh hold on hey yeah right let me do together yeah it's too bad about Gary
00:43:41
Gary colan he passed your away I'm the only one left well it's got to be a small black
00:43:48
guy yeah yeah yeah you got it Bud go toward the light Emanuel Lewis yes yes got it
00:43:55
Webster yes weer I could this dude it's so funny I saw him he used to call you at 3 in the
00:44:01
morning hey man yeah hey it's me what you doing e dog it's like he would go
00:44:07
yeah he' go meet me at he meet me at Fred 62s I love that Cafe yeah yeah and
00:44:12
I'd be like no dude why not never hung out with it once like I read this thing this was [ __ ] insane it's supposed to
00:44:19
it really does dude you should try this this is a trick I know I know I know no no this is a trick I'm trying to do is uh um is this when you wake up in the
00:44:27
morning instead of brushing your teeth with your right hand do it with your left and then when you get in the shower
00:44:33
instead of doing your normal shower routine like what's the first thing you wash in the shower my back right so
00:44:38
instead of doing your back do your feet first and then do your fa like switch up the or why you laughing at back it's
00:44:43
just weird no it's not no it's not you're [ __ ] weird what are you doing you go head first no everybody does it
00:44:49
different head is last no what head last I actually agree I do I do head and face last yeah yeah no here's the order I do
00:44:56
my butthole I'll tell you I'll literally tell you my order okay so I'll take you know the we already established that
00:45:02
that plastic thing I has is a cloth we already we already established that on this podcast right so I do I I pull that
00:45:08
out right I put two different um body um wash wash on it right from two different
00:45:14
brands one of them probably like you know something that that's like a um axe some bad [ __ ] one but then I'll put
00:45:20
an organic like fancy one so you'll feed your dogs high-end food but you're using axe on your body no I put Axe and but I
00:45:26
put then I put high-end one that I got at a boutique Place oo yeah so I combo it up Upstairs Downstairs yeah then I
00:45:31
put it in a sud then I do the I do it back first back back arms arms chest
00:45:37
right then in between the sacks scrub hard what do you mean sacks is
00:45:42
singular you have more than one sack no what the sack on either oh I have two sacks I have two sacks right legs and
00:45:50
then what I do is rinse yeah and then I do face with my face wash right and then
00:45:56
I do hair and then I'm I get that what do you do I first get in there and I lube up the loofah I've got my nice
00:46:02
little loofah how do you get your back with a loofah what do you mean it's got to it's on a stick oh you don't have a luffa stick no oh it's fantastic it's
00:46:09
actually my favorite because after you're done luffing you can flip the stick around and putot it right up your ass yeah love you don't do that you
00:46:16
don't do a little rabbit ta with a lofa stick though cuz I got one on the road you can't get the real like with the
00:46:21
[ __ ] one I have you can really grind out your back I I don't need to rub it
00:46:27
deep into the back I don't know if I need to okay cuz I get a massage for that it's just like deep skin it has to
00:46:33
do with muscles but how this skin is never exposed to almost anything on your back you don't need really need to exfoliate your back that's true that's
00:46:39
true what's exposed so I do the loofah I LOF I do sand angels on the on the
00:46:45
beach I loofah I I get the loofah ready and I do chest neck and back first combo
00:46:51
py pitsy py pitsy then I go down to legs and FES yeah and then I put the LOF down
00:46:57
and
00:47:05
I yeah yeah yeah yeah I get a lot I love a lot yeah
00:47:13
and I slap it boom right in my Papito and I and then I get underneath to my nifkin
00:47:20
in my butthole and I I really work this area I really clean my butthole my
00:47:25
wiener uh-huh I'm just going to see how much you do it yeah okay that's a lot that's a lot
00:47:32
yeah and then finally I finish with the top half with face and hair yeah Jewels I just do hair shampoo conditioner and
00:47:41
then body and then face and then brush my teeth and then that's it oh actually
00:47:46
you know what I lied I the very first thing I do is brush my teeth in the shower you brush your teeth in the shower yeah yeah me too I don't do any
00:47:53
of it you've never brushed your teeth no let me see looks fine yeah yeah let's get a hands who brushes their
00:47:58
teeth in the shower oh wow not me see people some people don't like it I
00:48:04
perfect F I'm already there it's it's it's like you know let me say honestly it's like playing basketball on Ice how
00:48:11
it just doesn't belong there but you pee in the shower no no time I PE I pee I don't care stop stop stop yeah yeah yeah
00:48:17
I pee in the shower too he poops in the shower I don't poo in the shower that's insane we did a whole episode about it you smooshed the poop down the drain you
00:48:23
talked about it yeah one time okay one [ __ ] time that's like [ __ ] one time one time too many times yeah yeah
00:48:30
okay no that one time too many times one time I did it a month ago you've done it more than you pooed in the shower yeah I
00:48:36
had to go exactly that's a good one diarrhea yeah there you go yeah well you've done it often yeah I'm not I
00:48:41
don't shame Carlos for doing that I get it no you should okay you do not poop in the shower do not poop in the shower you
00:48:47
do what you need to do thank you thank you cuz then then the water it's going to smack you're going to okay because I
00:48:53
need a mirror when I brush my teeth what are you looking at going you have today I have my I have my
00:49:01
phone I have my I could need I have my phone I just don't I feel like like it's not doesn't belong there I get this
00:49:06
people say this but I think it does because it's the first thing I like to do it's warm the water on your back is so warm and you're brushing under the warmth it's just it's a perfect combin
00:49:13
it just seems like you're doing your taxes in the water it doesn't make any sense like you're with a calcul appus
00:49:20
whatever so hygienically you're cleaning your body and then also cleaning your mouth doesn't belong in the cleaning in the cleaning maybe you're right but I
00:49:26
know I just can't I I would never do it I think you should will you try it okay please I I'd like unfortunately I want
00:49:33
to know how Andre does his but I know it's going to be [ __ ] really weird and annoying how do you do your
00:49:38
shower it's like north to south you start up top and go down y wow always
00:49:44
always all right so everybody okay Carlos what's your shower routine uh get it it's a lot like Rudy's
00:49:50
actually well you like baths right cuz you like to have that the water on your [ __ ] I do like baths actually B me too
00:49:57
who doesn't they're [ __ ] amazing but he lets the water rush on his little [ __ ] yeah um I I I about in terms of
00:50:03
baths um what you got me from my birthday was it bad no it's not that bad it's just like I don't know what the
00:50:08
point is I don't she gives me like B salt no it was flowers like full-blown
00:50:14
petals oh no they're it's actually the aromatics it's good for you really supposed to calm you down yeah it's really but then I got to pick all I got
00:50:19
to pick all the [ __ ] up you someone clean your [ __ ] house for you you don't do that I don't know she's right
00:50:25
there she gave herself garbage yeah when's the last time you cleaned my house months months yeah get back to it
00:50:32
it's too much it's too much is it I got a new person you did yeah one person or more than one it's a cabal of Hispanics
00:50:40
it's a cabal a cabal of Hispanics wow just one pickup truck 35 Hispanics and
00:50:45
they're amazing yeah yeah where did you find these people through my friend why cuz what if
00:50:51
I need somebody it's through Gilbert Gilbert Gil she's great okay yeah yeah I have a woman that I'm dearly dearly in
00:50:56
love with well then why did you ask me in case she doesn't want to do it anymore what if she stops one day she's Inc dude this woman is so [ __ ]
00:51:03
beautiful and nice she really I'm not I'm not I'm actually not even making a comedy joke right now yeah she's such a
00:51:08
[ __ ] lovely person her heart is so beautiful she walks in the door and sits
00:51:14
and plays with the dog before she's like my friend my friend and she'll like sing to the dog and sit and play with the dog
00:51:20
it like makes my soul so happy when I see her and she's always in a good mood and I've told her multiple times
00:51:27
I've said you know if you want me to get you food or you want to eat or whatever anything in the house you can have
00:51:33
always anything I've never seen her eat I've never seen her drink water she's never gone to the bathroom never I'm
00:51:41
always like you know you can have any of the food in the fridge you can do anything you want she's like no okay no
00:51:47
it's okay but do you do the Bobby Lee test of deception I leave money all over the
00:51:52
place that's what I do yeah I leave thousands and thousands of dollars deception and what I do is I leave
00:51:58
random money yeah tens 20s sometimes 100s in places to see if they take yeah
00:52:06
and they never take they never take that's the test cuz if they take I fire
00:52:11
you kill you don't K but do you do that well I went to a jewelry store I got a bunch of loose diamonds that's what you have
00:52:17
to and I'll just put diamonds all over that's insane no but she's so it's
00:52:23
like she's so honest if she did take from me I don't care she's such a good person if she was like
00:52:29
if if I caught her yeah and she was like I steal this i' be like okay well I say
00:52:34
if when you're cleaning and you sawell like a random dollar bill you would in your head go oh that's a test of
00:52:40
deception right you would test recently proud to say what happened I was at
00:52:46
Mercedes and there was a $5 bill on the bench and I just took a picture of it and I didn't take it okay this is not
00:52:51
the same scenario you're an idiot you should have taken the $5 bill really what the [ __ ] in the wild the wild is
00:52:56
fine in the wild yes money in the wild I thought it was being filmed or something for what streamer playing oh yeah
00:53:03
sometimes did they do that right I know but what would be the you picked up a random F was there anybody around you no one that's your money I left okay have
00:53:11
you seen these Carlos have you seen these okay where they like they'll have like um a little girl like on a bench oh
00:53:19
yeah I hat okay so what they tests of trust I hate right where it's like you know um like a woman will be sitting
00:53:27
there right who's like a you know a a plant right and then some guy will hit on her right and some strangers hey whoa
00:53:34
whoa whoa I'm so grateful I'm not in that yeah because I don't think I don't
00:53:40
know I think I would fail you'd walk away I would just be like that's weird you know I walk away or if a little girl comes to excuse me sir I don't have
00:53:48
anyone or and I'd be like oh you do he me you get the [ __ ] away from yeah they
00:53:55
catch me doing that I'm [ __ ] dude yeah you're done yeah yeah yeah no those test what would you do that's the name of the show yeah it's called John John John
00:54:03
kones what would you do right isn't that what it's called what would you do yeah oh what would you do if I saw that yeah
00:54:09
that's what it's called what would you do yeah that's what it is literally the show we're talking about what would you do I I honestly I'm so aloof in public
00:54:17
I'm I'm probably just walking by yeah I don't know I'm not going to stay there and take care of it is there anything that you a punk that you did that was
00:54:24
like that aired that went crazy uh is there a punk that I did that when
00:54:30
I mean you mean like what like it did well I don't what yeah but that was like they were mad like super mad or I mean
00:54:36
no I don't think there was anything that we did that uh I like everything that aired kind of went uh I will say oh
00:54:43
there no that's not true there's so many lives you've lived there's one there's one that we did in the hills and I don't
00:54:48
remember who it was and it was a bad idea I don't remember the girl I don't remember we were in the hills and um
00:54:56
I was pretending like uh I was lost and they were housesitting and I pretended like I was a guy who was just like lost
00:55:02
in the hills and my car died and somehow we figured out a way to get me inside of the home and this woman thought she was
00:55:09
like trapped with a the hitchhike killer or something like that wow it was [ __ ] it was such a bad bit it was so stupid
00:55:15
and so overblown this woman was on the phone with her mother like C just balling crying and they never aired that
00:55:21
either no did not air no I mean the the the aired ones are you know like Efron hitting an old woman
00:55:27
we hit an old woman with a car a stunt woman oh you knew Zack Efron then that's the first time I met him wow yeah yeah
00:55:33
that was the first time I met that guy anyway D polywood connections well first of all I was
00:55:39
first of all I was a kid I was an actor on Punk that no one knew and people still didn't know that I did that I remember you then and I got paid like
00:55:45
[ __ ] $40 yeah but I always remember go this guy's On The Rise you know what's so funny here I am shooting
00:55:50
punked no no listen how funny this is here I am shooting punked shooting a TV show writing it and being an actor in it
00:55:56
working at the studio and I was worried about rent every month that's insane I was so worried there was month that I
00:56:02
almost didn't pay rent yeah because I got paid so little money from the show would you make a a week it wasn't a week
00:56:08
it was an episode you got paid an episode how much you get an episode I think it was I think it was $1,500 something like that an episode yeah but
00:56:15
then with taxes and all that stuff yeah to pay my agent my lawyer $700 yeah 800 bucks 700 bucks so how many episodes did
00:56:20
you do a month oh no it's not a month in total we only did 10 or 11 I don't even know what we and that was your only
00:56:25
income I was forced to work for the studio fulltime like like I got I got put in that system and I was working for the
00:56:33
studio wow yeah like I was writing for them and all that stuff and I was yeah you got ripped off yeah we got cooked
00:56:40
those guys were making millions of dollars we were [ __ ] I mean that's Hollywood and that's that's what they do they my Mad TV was $4,500 a week that's
00:56:47
great yeah that's really good money but um you only got four the first year what
00:56:53
do you mean oh only got four epes and you can't do anything else yeah and they hold you so then you're like why am I going to the [ __ ] am I
00:57:00
going to it's weird to be on TV yeah and people from home being like dude you're on TV I know you there's and you're like
00:57:07
I can't I can't pay rent do anything it's [ __ ] the business is [ __ ] that's why still eating at Arby's and
00:57:13
like Arby's what are you rich I know I know I was eating exactly maybe out of the trash can behind the Arby's yeah
00:57:19
well at the com have you guys got the beef you're throwing away be on toast is very hry yeah but now at The Comedy
00:57:25
Store like dude congratulations you're like yeah I'm making less money than I than I was before before no dude are you
00:57:31
kidding me free meals at comedy clubs oh my god when they were like uh uh when I
00:57:37
would go and play those clubs I'd be like hey can we get lunch and dinner here yeah and they were like what why
00:57:43
I'm like pay for but I played it right I remember the first year I went I got on it I don't to say I can't say her name
00:57:49
but Hispanic girl we all know her I think mhm right and so and so there was
00:57:55
like um a couple of weeks where we weren't in anything didn't make a sketch not a
00:58:01
single sketch right and all the white new dudes people were getting everything white new dudes yeah and then so I
00:58:07
remember her coming into my dressing room crying she goes this is [ __ ] up I go what is it she's like why mean you're
00:58:15
Asian I'm Hispanic and we're not going right I'm going to go to the president
00:58:20
of the you know of the company Fox no of the show the guy that owns the show right who was like this old Hollywood
00:58:26
Mogul right I can say his name he's a great guy David salsman okay this just all he did Dallas and Judge Judy I this
00:58:33
old guy right and I I I grabbed her by the wrist I go please
00:58:39
don't I and I go and if you do leave my name out of it we will be fired yeah
00:58:44
yeah and she's like no I'm making his thing this is [ __ ] she goes knocks on his door and just went into a cry
00:58:50
fast right two weeks later I never saw her again you got fired yeah yeah that's what happens and I was in nothing and I
00:58:58
just you know my fingers on the [ __ ] dressing room wall yeah just hanging
00:59:03
Bobby yes they're taking my ankle trying to get me out I'm like I'm not leaving right and that's I that's I think that
00:59:09
was the right right move it took years for me to get anything really legitimate
00:59:16
but I just I could barely made every you know what I mean but you didn't get fired you got to play it smart you didn't get fired yeah I'm cockroach you
00:59:23
got to play it smart something that you don't you she does have to with her generation she can do whatever she wants
00:59:28
can I tell you another story about I tell you this so I'm not going to name any names but I
00:59:34
um there was another female comic from the store mhm right that was going to
00:59:41
test for Mad TV Whitney no I can't tell you okay right and so we were um I
00:59:46
remember seeing her and I go oh so um are you nervous about the test yeah and
00:59:52
she goes I ain't doing it and I go why she goes I need 10 grand to test I need
00:59:58
10 grand because you know you negotiate yeah I know was she famous already no oh she was just a the same comic guy I was
01:00:05
nobody right and I go you're asking for 10,000 an episode because the initial
01:00:11
thing is 4500 right and she goes yeah and I go oh I'm testing I don't care I
01:00:17
they could give me peanuts yeah I'm [ __ ] testing right aan peanuts though right yeah and then so 5 years after
01:00:24
that I was at a restaur Resturant she served you yeah oh and you know what she
01:00:29
said to me m she goes I should have taken the 4500 oh my God that hurts my heart and it and I swear to God and I
01:00:36
was like my heart cracked you stiff her on the tip I go yeah but hey dude um can I get the [ __ ] um
01:00:42
ketchup you know I mean you I asked you for the hot sauce you know what I mean yeah oh that's awful and we and she
01:00:48
never worked again never saw her again my God she should have taken it yeah she would have killed it on that show oh we
01:00:55
need to we need to figure out a way to have Rudy get her act together so we don't have a a failure on our hands oh
01:01:03
that's the that's a lesson you listen did you hear the lessons today yeah I'm
01:01:08
scared no no you don't have to be scared you have to make the right decisions no you should be scared but how do you know
01:01:13
that you're making the right decisions [ __ ] that's a good question that is a very good question I actually don't know
01:01:19
well I mean you the opportunities that you get seize them you seize them yeah
01:01:25
you don't go against against them because I really honestly believe that one day and don't give it that face
01:01:31
don't give him that face yeah one day you're going to look back at certain times in your life you're going to go oh I I didn't see it for what it was and
01:01:38
say that to all of our fans too sometimes it's like if it's right there in front of you the worst you the worst that can happen is that it just doesn't
01:01:45
work the way you think but you got to keep trying it like for instance if you if seven is wanted to do a podcast with
01:01:51
you individually you know what I mean and they go you want to try it right I
01:01:56
think your instinct would be no I don't want to do it right yeah yeah well then don't but I think you'd regret it
01:02:02
because because because the Iron's hot now right if you it won't be 10 years from
01:02:07
now if you try it and it doesn't work all that all that happened was it didn't work it doesn't matter you don't lose you know it just didn't work cuz in this
01:02:13
moment in your life you can make as much money as you can and then you know later you'll have a little savings or whatever
01:02:19
but I I honestly believe that you know um life is hard yeah and it's hard out
01:02:25
there to make a living and i' we've seen people struggle and it's like it's like you know I feel like I've and me and
01:02:31
Andrew both have made decisions that were like at the end of the day you know beneficial well and
01:02:38
I made some failures I did a lot of failures to too I mean most of the things I did was a was not a failure most of the things I did didn't work out
01:02:44
the way I thought they might have worked out bad sitcoms bad bad bad scripts and testing and it doesn't work it just
01:02:51
didn't work and then you co go go until it works but not seizing the opportunity is tough and we want you to win all we
01:02:58
care about is you winning I I think I am more open though I know you are 10 times
01:03:03
better I think you've grown so much on this show it is crazy so much well end the show tell them goodbye thank you for
01:03:09
being a bad friend [Music]
01:03:21
fantastic woo yeah
01:03:29
woo yeah
![[CLEAN VERSION!] Open Chucanos & Closed Chichitos | Ep 118 ft. Fahim Anwar | Bad Friends](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/EillbZD0pMc/mqdefault.jpg)
