00:00:00
hey come see me live I'm on tour right now andrewsantino.com for tickets andrewsantino.com for tickets I'm all
00:00:06
over the place I'm going to San Francisco then I'm going to Columbus I'm going to Pittsburgh I'm going to Grand Rapids I'm going to Philly we added
00:00:12
another show in Philly we added a late show in Philly as well as in Seattle and Portland in the New Year coming to
00:00:18
Chicago as well and the New York Comedy Festival in November and then I'll be up in Albany later in the year I'm all over
00:00:24
the place so go to andrewsantino.com for tickets andrewsantino.com for those tickets you two are bad friends who are
00:00:31
these two idiots [Music] we're bad friends happy birthday to me happy birthday to me
00:00:52
happy birthday you don't know my birthday happy birthday to me Andrew thank you Pete and Andres and George and that's it hold on thank you
00:01:13
Pete thank you George thank you Andres and thank you Rudy Jules my heart of hearts my little brown Queen my little brown Bean Queen wait wait wait is that
00:01:25
your birthday yes it is and you had to Google it to know it I know but I my because I was wondering the pro the thing that I got you always getting delivered to my house oh it's coming to
00:01:36
your house yeah and I and I'm like oh it delivered didn't come yet and I'm like let me open my cards from Pete okay let
00:01:43
me open my cards from Pete all right you make my eyes happy you make my lips happy you make my heart Happy I could keep heading south but I think
00:01:54
you get the idea then it says uh happy birthday I didn't realize how sexual this card was until after I bought it Pete so yeah very Pete
00:02:05
I love that Barry Pete let's see and this is from Pete let's see what Pete got me in here let's see what Pete got me it is some
00:02:14
socks oh Pete thank you so much this is men's crew my favorite uh they've got wicking cool Comfort Comfort fabric Haynes can't beat it thank you so much
00:02:26
Pete you're welcome that's the president that's coming in the mail let's see what's next man this is great Bobby I
00:02:32
can't wait to open yours I'm sure it's in the Prius right you want to go get it it's I it's not it's three days for this
00:02:38
one's from Rudy it says friend in this world where things move so fast and change before our eyes I take
00:02:44
comfort in the precious few things that are constant and and true the Friendship we share day
00:02:50
after day year after year Rudy Rudy thank you Rudy Jules this was very sweet wait wait
00:02:57
how the [ __ ] hey hey hey stop Rudy what did you get me let's see what she got me
00:03:06
whoa red bush how did she she's not even 21. good old-fashioned red bush you don't have to be 21 in the Philippines to drink it's only 18. oh you got it from the Philippines sure did
00:03:18
thank you Rudy jewelry did you I got it did you know that it was his birthday you never told me oh and a taco and a taco oh
00:03:29
wow do you want this Taco yeah yeah thank you Rudy Rudy and also Rudy left uh a receipt in here
00:03:41
oh good in case I wanted to give it back thank you Rudy and my favorite by far fancy bee my little sweet prince a good friend is like sunshine for the
00:03:54
soul happy birthday so grateful for you and all the positive vibes you bring to my world Andrew yeah working with you is a
00:04:01
real treat you are funny hard-working respectful talented and the real engine behind this great show Bobby doesn't do
00:04:08
much and I know and I know it's hard for you sometimes but let's be honest here Bobby is a fading fading star yeah Andrew you're a shooting star on your
00:04:20
way to the Moon turning 38 is such a special year and I want to be here to celebrate with you I love you so much thank you for being a bad friend fancy B
00:04:30
P.S I don't like Bob well thank you fancy B you're a sucker let me open up myself for a second no because I knew it was your birthday and I bought you a present
00:04:43
here let me see I bought you one open it is it money I knew it was money see you don't get to trick me anymore with money oh they went
00:04:55
right in the cup that was a good shot that was a really good shot fancy what did you buy me oh fancy oh the iPad Pro
00:05:03
yeah are you really being serious yes NCB there's nothing in there fancy I bet you money there's nothing in there oh yeah he didn't get you an iPod Pro
00:05:15
yes he did what fancy wait wait what did you get me you [ __ ] Fancy Fancy Fancy Fancy what did you get me you [ __ ] this
00:05:27
is outrageous dude fancy this is incredible he got me the iPad Pro and that keyboard that I asked for
00:05:33
fancy I love you love you back God you're the best fans where's my Red Bull where's my Red Bull hey it's my birthday I
00:05:43
don't show too not today you're not I know can I get my beverage please George say please please there it is
00:05:50
fancy what a gift that's incredible should I open more yeah why not it's my birthday oh oh
00:05:56
I've always wanted one of these a heavy metal truck oh my God this is so cool thank you thank you guys conversation with George real quick this is amazing I'm gonna have a conversation
00:06:08
with Jordan oh my God I want to take this out of the box and plug it into I wish it would ghost
00:06:14
already great you knew about this to play a prank on me so I can look like a [ __ ] pillow on my own and I didn't get this before
00:06:29
nothing man you should have [ __ ] reminded me I was giving up her lap I wasn't supposed to be here today
00:06:35
George yeah [Applause] George has nothing to do with this there we go here okay is it okay that I
00:06:46
open up hey you have a [ __ ] another thing coming can I open up my other gifts can
00:06:52
I open up my other gifts oh yes look at this Alpha strike this this Nerf gun set that is so [ __ ] cool
00:07:04
dude this is probably the best birthday I've had in years in years I'm [ __ ] stoked
00:07:11
need I forget I had got socks from Pete oh my God Star Wars Lego set you know what I'll give that to Rudy because she likes toy stuff there you go
00:07:23
build something during the show look at that I've got my iPad Pro my brand new keyboard and I got my truck
00:07:29
and I got my Nerf shooter and I got my Bushmills red bush thank you guys so much let's get back to
00:07:36
the show and my twenty dollars I don't want this twenty dollars it's sturdy something about it's not genuine why
00:07:42
because I feel as if you just took some paper mache off the ground and you put 20 out of your pocket and hand it to me because we can run the tape and saw you
00:07:48
do it no no it's your birthday and I bought you a present here no yeah I saw you can I say something I saw you do it may I sit talk you picked a paper mache off the ground and took it out of your pocket I'm not listen
00:08:01
I'm not doing well what um physically no more from this from Rudy Rudy gave me a magic eight ball and a slinker
00:08:12
I'm not doing well my accountant called me is Bobby a piece of [ __ ] for not remembering my birthday
00:08:18
weeks ago and he said you lost everything is Bobby a piece of [ __ ] for not remembering my
00:08:23
birthday and that's my last twenty dollars signs point to yes yeah yeah that's my
00:08:29
last twenty dollars signs point to yes and so when it's a man's when it's the man's last twenty dollars and they give
00:08:34
it to you he's giving you everything signs are pointing to yes okay you didn't listen to what I just said
00:08:41
I mean you want to ask the Magic 8 Ball something like uh is Bobby you know you want you why don't
00:08:48
you ask me something I'm gonna take it out once you ask me something you've always wanted to ask you because it's my birthday Bobby doesn't get to build
00:08:53
anybody around baby right now Bobby you're acting like a [ __ ] baby right does this feel familiar you're acting
00:08:59
like this it's outrageous but you know I'm gonna let you act like a child because you are
00:09:04
a child what did you do at your birthday what'd you do at your birthday what did you not act like a little baby how did I act like a baby you left you left before
00:09:11
the party was a show to do man we threw you a [ __ ] surprise party go ahead and ask a question of the magic
00:09:17
eight ball all right it's Tito Bobby and annoying stupid [ __ ] read what that says I'm not gonna move it so everyone knows that it is okay don't do it don't don't just move it just see it and say it into the mic go
00:09:38
ahead here don't move it it is certain fact [Laughter] steroids that you're on has [ __ ] you up I'm Juiced you're Juiced out and
00:09:52
aggressive and I don't like it I don't like it it's my birthday it's not it's in three [ __ ] days relax this is my
00:09:58
birthday this is not your birthday it's three days before your [ __ ] birthday it's my birthday either way you didn't get me a gift I'm gonna get you a gift
00:10:04
it's okay it's okay okay and the next time we do bad friends you'll see for the presents I get and you will be mesmerized wait by the way that stupid [ __ ] painting that you got for me
00:10:15
uh-huh that stupid painting I got for you right yeah is gonna be nothing compared to what I'm gonna get you my
00:10:21
friend are you being serious yeah I hope so I am because I tell you nobody's dead serious okay because I tell you what
00:10:26
what that painting that painting that you got yeah very valuable to my heart very important to me that's a lot that
00:10:33
painting that you got and you want to up me a little bit you know Segura and Chrysler you know he bought him a jet ski
00:10:38
I'm just saying if you're looking at it for sure Bert Kreischer by Tom seguro jet ski first jet ski yeah they have a
00:10:45
different kind of relationship the Outdoorsman they're outdoorsy people we're not outdoorsy people so buy me
00:10:50
some indoorsy stuff I'm gonna get you like coffee that's in Dorsey no yeah yeah you got to be something better than
00:10:55
fancy big I mean iPad Pro with the folio keyboard that I can't [ __ ] believe and not only I cannot believe that
00:11:02
um what did you get me for my birthday's fancy Rudy was in charge of the iPad she yeah
00:11:07
she was I was uh partnering with her right so did you see that they just threw you
00:11:14
under the [ __ ] bus they're not your friends let me say this too okay I'm your friend and you're the best Rudy I
00:11:19
gave you a present last night did I not give you a present last night what are you referring to on stage when
00:11:25
I brought you up what did I give you an intro right before that what did you give me before that what'd
00:11:32
I do with the mic you farted on it you piece of [ __ ] you happy [ __ ] happy birthday you're so repulsive
00:11:39
Happy Birthday Bobby brought me on stage last night yeah and he he goes uh after
00:11:44
he's done doing his set or whatever you call it okay stop and then he goes stop and then he goes and then he goes yeah
00:11:51
yeah should I do it again and should I fart into the mic yeah and he wraps it knowing I'm next and then he puts it up in his [ __ ] yeah not not not near it in between his ass cheeks it's shoved in
00:12:04
better for the Acoustics it is it's louder yeah and it did thump it was it was amazing so that was Bobby's birthday
00:12:11
gift you heard it here folks okay can I just say this though can I just Define myself what you don't understand my
00:12:16
friend okay is that before I knew it was her birthday yeah right and I opened up my dad's uh ashes ashes I don't want
00:12:23
your dad's address but you don't know what I did dude I stuck my finger in the ashes right yeah and I put it around my
00:12:29
butthole [Laughter] [Music] I did 24 hour fast right really before I did the fast right yeah I lit candles
00:12:46
right I had all my ancestors right come together wow the spirits came right yeah and I had kimchi chicken and I had all these Korean dishes I ate them and I
00:12:59
didn't poo right and then I the incense and the and the candles and and my ancestors coming they went with came in within me then I put the [ __ ] ashes around my butthole okay right got it and
00:13:11
I held a fart for 24 hours just for my birthday yes so when I fart did you have a good set last night I had a good
00:13:18
really good set last night happy birthday can I tell you something happy birthday what I switched mics and you saw that so
00:13:25
yeah and then guess what happened it wasn't that mic I use I didn't use your fart mic it doesn't matter I gave you your fart Mark to go it was once I
00:13:31
farted he was in the room you don't know how Korean things work oh rituals and also can I say this too
00:13:37
right 70 validity is this any of this real do you think yeah it's real and then here's another thing
00:13:44
when you threw the other mic at me right yeah the fart mic I threw the fart mic I just did I catch it in the air
00:13:50
well I threw it right into your hands what do you mean did you catch it in the air it wasn't it's dark right you're about 30 feet away you threw away six
00:13:57
feet 30. we have the video do you really yeah okay 100 we can show it okay show the video right so I count it in do you know why I caught it it was the fart mic
00:14:09
you caught it because it was in the dark in the or look at it Pete can I send this to you yes yeah yeah okay first of
00:14:16
all so happy birthday man thank you dude yeah I do want another materialistic [ __ ] is as good as what I gave you last
00:14:23
night you had a wonderful set let me tell you something what this means a lot to me I know and I and I did this is way
00:14:30
better than anything I didn't know that about you and so it's like I'm gonna I'm now I know that you're into materialistic things I'm gonna get you
00:14:37
that yeah you're into materialistic things too I'm into spiritual things as well so am I that's why I did that last
00:14:43
night at Seance yes I'm spiritual first material second your material for a spiritual second I'm everything first
00:14:50
oh that makes sense yeah yeah I have everything first and there is no second for me right everything's 100 with me
00:14:56
you had a good set last night too you had a fun little time up there yeah then why'd you say that it was whatever he did up there well because it's just
00:15:02
that's part of the show I see I thought I had a very good set you did I thought the lineup last night was old school comedy it was back in the [ __ ] day back in the day you me
00:15:13
Donnell Rollins acinio it went Arsenio Hall yeah then Ali Wong yup Chris Spencer yup me you Darnell Donnell Fahim
00:15:26
yeah that's it that's all I remember yeah because you left you left too that's right yeah so I don't know I'm
00:15:33
not hanging out late but it was a great night that was one of those nights that made me feel like the crowd was getting what they paid for so to speak yeah like
00:15:40
that was a banger [ __ ] the room was on fire it also reminded me of the first show that I've done since the pandemic
00:15:46
where I went this is the closest to what it once was where at this club in just in in anything you're saying oh that show felt like it felt like pre-pandemic a pre-pandemic
00:15:58
show pre-pandy show yeah yeah well I'm excited happy birthday I'm older you know thank you 38. wow I know
00:16:09
I've always been looking 40. 45 maybe 50. yeah uh let's ask one more question Jules let's throw a question back to the magic eight ball Jules what do you say go ahead I'm shaking shaking shaking
00:16:19
is Andres gay is Andres gay you can read it I'm not gonna I just wanna I just want to make sure that it's not no it's people see we're not cheating you can't really show the camera it says in bold letters all
00:16:38
capitalized without it without a doubt that's without a doubt yeah Rudy Jules just another one let's get a little magic eight ball does Pete have
00:16:52
a you can say it's small what Venus does Pete have a small penis I thought she was gonna say AIDS yeah by the way we can ask the age one second
00:17:03
if you want yeah does Pete have a small penis ladies and gentlemen why'd you switch it no it says ask again
00:17:09
later why do they do that does Pete have a small penis and it's come on come on oh near the proof go ahead what does it say
00:17:21
yes yes Real Simple Things rigged no way it's totally rigged okay Pete then you ask it a question and we'll find out if
00:17:27
it's rigged is there any negative answers on there is it all positive no there's but I haven't heard one okay well ask something that you think would
00:17:34
provide give a negative answer am I a better comedian than you oh boy what does that say very doubtful yeah
00:17:51
this thing is [ __ ] awesome it's awesome this is the best birthday I've had great why because I'm here with my
00:17:58
friends and my family I'm here with the bad friends family ah the people that mean the world to me yeah okay that's
00:18:04
why yeah I was angry that little doc doc couldn't even do it today at the fans like Dr you like Doc because he sits in
00:18:10
what do you think what do you think a little dog funny yeah he is very very funny
00:18:19
than him that must feel good yeah that must feel really good because he's 80. yeah that must be you're thinking should
00:18:26
we set up a fight for between her and Doc and see who wins I don't know you think you'd win in a
00:18:31
fist fight no Boxing Club boxing it's boxing not street fight no his face is bigger than mine yeah but you can kick you can kick no no I still try yeah yeah I think um
00:18:42
no because he's gonna do belly shots oh yeah I mean yeah and she's got a small little belly and she'll collapse she'll collapse she'll break in half how much how much do you weigh
00:18:53
115. yeah what is what do you think he weighs electricity 150 um maybe more maybe it was 160. because the density of like a bowling ball is different than you think yeah yeah it's
00:19:07
harder than to know yeah maybe 155 160. yeah you're out of this you're out of the way but he is thinner than I am
00:19:13
or no ah what is no I think thank you no that feels good well you dropped some weight you lost a couple of pounds yeah because I've been exercising every night are you doing it every night yeah she
00:19:25
sees it yeah what are you doing now Peloton are you loving the Peloton I love it you know what I do is I do the
00:19:31
Free Ride what does that mean I don't need no [ __ ] I want to say it some say it bald oh
00:19:38
athletic screaming at me you're right just you know what I mean pull through one more minute oh all you got so free red means turn it on you can just go you should
00:19:50
push start right there's a timer what are you looking at on the screen when you free nothingness not even like a
00:19:55
outside no huh there's Scenic I don't even do Scenic I don't like Scenic so it's black it's black right do you have
00:20:01
headphones on no I'm watching my shows on my iPad better health better help is my favorite um thing in the whole world because I use it in my life you know I see that I struggle you know with my
00:20:13
addictions I struggle with you know my relationship sometimes and this and that and better help has helped me I'm I
00:20:19
think the one of the reasons why I'm still sober and I'm still doing good in my life is because of this this is
00:20:25
because of Better Health yes getting therapy is important and I think if there's something interfering with your happiness to preventing you from
00:20:31
achieving your goals better help Works Bob and I both talked about mental health yeah on the show we believe in this it's not a crisis line it's not
00:20:37
self-help it's professional counseling done securely online you can start communicating in under 48 hours that's how quick you can get and it's available
00:20:43
for clients all over the world yeah you can log in any anytime to your account anywhere and send a message to your counselor better Hub is committed to facility great therapeutic matches so
00:20:54
they'll make it easy and free to change counselors if needed it's more affordable than traditional offline
00:21:00
counseling and financial aid is available visit betterhelp.com bad friends that's better help and join the
00:21:06
over 1 million people who have taken charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional in fact Andrew yeah so many people happy
00:21:12
birthday by the way either way thank you have been using better help that they are now recruiting additional counselors
00:21:18
and over it 50 states wow in all 50s in all of the states yeah this podcast is sponsored by better helping bad friends listeners get 10 off their first month at betterhelp.com bad friends that is 10 off your first month at betterhelp.com
00:21:31
you know Andrew I've had a financial difficulty the same with my taxes and and my credit cards and others and that and I've been in debt before right and upstart is the thing for you if you're
00:21:42
in that truck if you're in trouble 16 Grand in debt was probably one of the the biggest uh holes I've ever been in yeah stuff like upstart wasn't around at
00:21:49
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00:22:39
see can you not put the shows on the screen on the Peloton screen I don't know how to do that you know but not you know
00:22:46
what I've been watching so you sit an iPad on top I watched every single I told you this last night huh I've
00:22:51
watched every single intervention the TV show I love that show ever made from season one to 14 or whatever it is
00:23:00
I love it I love it and I love it when like it doesn't work out yeah no because no no I love how it doesn't work out because at the end of it right it's so good it's either this this either
00:23:11
happens it says you know I mean three months later that's always a good sign and then it cuts too yeah yeah is that
00:23:18
guitar riff yeah and then um but then sometimes it just goes straight to like a counselor yeah he escaped 12 hours
00:23:25
since he got here we don't know where he is he might be dead he's in the woods yeah we think he might be dead in the woods and then they show the family go
00:23:30
through their like codependency you know when it's uplifting you know I think it's good it is a great show you know that song at the end makes me sad every time [Music]
00:23:41
you know that sounds like yeah I have that song on my uh um who sings it I forgot what the band is but I have it you know who it sounds like boom who does it sound like who's the first
00:23:52
person you thought of man who was like the saddest artist from up there other than Kurt Cobain to kill himself Elliott Smith totally I thought it was Elliot Smith the moment very Elliot
00:24:03
Smithy but I but it's not him but it's not him it's not him but it sounds a little bit like his Angel yeah it's uh sad and do you watch
00:24:11
intervention do you know about the show do you know what it is but you know why I'm watching it do you know why I'm watching it why are you watching I'm on
00:24:17
the border of relapsing you're not gonna relapse I think I am why do you think you're gonna relapse
00:24:25
I just I'm obsessed with it with the idea of relapsing yeah yeah it's really scary to not I know that's why I haven't
00:24:32
and we've been I've been calling you today I haven't done it because you because of you good and kalila okay good
00:24:39
and the people of my life has she helped no she's the worst when I look at her I think of weed he's gonna relapse because of you you make me want to relapse your behavior around the
00:24:51
house is outrageous what you said to do what you're gonna do yesterday you didn't do what you said you were gonna do yesterday and that's [ __ ]
00:24:56
outrageous okay what did you say you said you were to clean my house you claimed my car you said you wanna clean my car and take my car to the [ __ ] um
00:25:02
oil changing place and the the lights the in check engine light is still on the car yeah and there's no gas and you
00:25:08
[ __ ] make me want to relapse so if you don't want me to relapse you do the [ __ ] thing you said you're gonna do I'll do it tomorrow but that's what you
00:25:15
see every [ __ ] day I'll do it tomorrow I promise can I tell you something yeah you keep saying that
00:25:20
tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow that's it and it's one more day for an addict to get what he needs yeah one more day it's the
00:25:26
same thinking of like I'll quit tomorrow I'll quit tomorrow one more I'll quit tomorrow one more hit one more for that that's what makes me remind me of
00:25:32
relapsing and you're that you're the reason why oh no you're not the reason why I'm just you know I'll tell you what
00:25:37
it is yeah what is it ah I Wanna Get High no no hey I want to get high baby no baby I want to see you know they're just because of the pandemic I think and it's like yeah like we got out of it I know
00:25:57
this is probably negative probably no comedy fodder it's not nice you'd be real go ahead yeah but I'm not gonna do
00:26:04
it right okay you promise no you can't promise I can't promise anything I can't promise if I'm going to be alive in a week well that you don't have control of you have control over using again do I
00:26:20
do I have no I don't think so you do well well that's the opposite of an addict right an addict has no control um but you're addict in recovery and that Accident Recovery does have right
00:26:31
but in my own recovery you what you should be I should be but you're not I may not do you want to have a meeting
00:26:36
right now yes okay here we go okay do you know what that you know have you been to a meeting before
00:26:42
by the way but everyone has a share let it be known let it be known that's fine but we're not denigrating the idea of uh
00:26:48
addiction and meetings right I'm a big supporter of this I am okay addiction's a part of my life yeah okay my family
00:26:56
so we're not but we're not making fun of this but in this meeting mock meeting we're doing you guys are going to play
00:27:02
different people that's right and your stories have to be horrendous that's the only way I okay well why don't you share
00:27:08
first right should I make up a story I think you should be you because you're on the brink of of using
00:27:14
again we're just two people have been coming here for months you're new to this meeting right I'm new to this meeting right so your name is what Billy
00:27:20
Winston oh what's Winston sorry Winston yeah Raphael Georgina Georgina we have our
00:27:30
[ __ ] name tags right here oh sorry sorry I'm just so drugged out you know what I mean oh man yeah yeah he's been
00:27:35
using I've been using Georgina this guy's been using I've been blacking out so I don't remember man so well why don't you just in Georgina yeah I'm Bob
00:27:42
alcoholic yeah good so um you know I've been coming to this no I've been sober for a couple years now and I just have these um
00:27:54
I don't know what I have these strong desires they're not desires we all have coffee
00:27:59
okay I don't know why Winston would say that I know a coffee addicts love coffee and
00:28:05
Winston I know what coffee is we have coffee I get it in every corner is a weed store yeah do you know that I do there's that flower play there's one across the street from here yeah there's
00:28:16
one yeah there's one right across from and they have these glowing neon lights that blink weed weed read and then my
00:28:24
pocket goes I got money money money right so when I drive by I don't go in obviously I don't go in no right and I look and I start trembling a little bit and like oh no and then I go through
00:28:37
now right but it's like that never used to be the case used to be I don't even think about it right it's not even an
00:28:43
option so you might relapse on weed I'm not gonna we don't we don't want we don't do we don't we don't want you to one two three we don't want they don't do that in the thing we do in our meetings okay this is different sorry
00:28:55
Winston yeah Georgina thank you tell me your story I've been sober hi Georgina say your name sorry you've been here for years
00:29:06
yeah I'm Georgina hi Georgine no wait sorry don't yell at Winston did you use your sponsor [Laughter]
00:29:18
I'm a alcoholic Winston you have to listen to me Bob sorry Georgina okay I'm gonna share you my
00:29:35
story please I've been sober for about a week and it's really hard because every time I see you guys
00:29:48
I just wanted to have fun and I just want to drink and I just want to pass out be in a club
00:30:00
wow and it's really hard yeah we're not laughing at you I thought you said she was being here for a while she relapses every week oh she does yeah she does it at the club every single
00:30:12
week she leaves from here to go to the club is there a club tonight yeah yeah yeah are you gonna go I don't want you
00:30:18
can't go yeah and she does this boom boom boom all night long go ahead um hey y'all I'm Winston you're when you shared the difference
00:30:38
will you share it's different I'm going to change characters okay good to meet you I'm Winston I've been here before
00:30:44
you welcomed me no I'm just saying hello I'm Winston okay hi Winston I am a myth
00:30:51
addict who has a slight issue with ketamine a little bit of an adderall addiction
00:30:57
yeah lewds uppers downers squeezers poppers yeah and uh I'm into also suppositories
00:31:06
putting stuff in my tush particularly I would put tide tabs in my touch you know Tide Pods people you kids were chewing them I put them straight in my butt um
00:31:20
so I was addicted to that for a long time I've been sober for a long time 12 years and I'm happy to be and I don't think relapse is cool I don't think you should
00:31:32
do it even if you're Chinese I don't think it's appropriate I know given the circumstances of what y'all brought to
00:31:37
this country is not okay but I still don't think you should relapse based on your emotional thrust
00:31:43
of feeling guilty about Rona and I know y'all feel guilty because you did it but you really shouldn't and uh I'm Winston I ain't gonna relapse that's my time thank you thank you
00:31:55
incident thank you Georgina can I get a ride home let me drive you home all right I'll drive I'm sorry but I want you to call I know
00:32:10
Georgina but let me just I know I know but Georgina right you know what I mean it's because him and I are hanging out yeah yeah but I'm using if I just disappear off the face of the planet no no we're going to
00:32:27
disappear no you can hear me yeah louder [Laughter] all right so we're in the car yeah
00:32:41
you're going the opposite direction over my house I lived right down the street on Ventura you like the seat vibrators
00:32:47
you see it's weird that this is this European this car makes your balls feel good right yeah yeah and there's also something sticking out of my butthole watch this
00:32:58
whoa whoa that's all the way in you popped a whole of my new jeans here yeah watch this Snap
00:33:10
I've never come through my anus before where are we going where are we going Winston we're at the club where Georgina's inside come on man
00:33:24
fun night fun night wow that's a crazy long story short you are not I'm not gonna relax I'm not you are not I'm not because this is a comedy show but we do take addiction seriously on this show I
00:33:35
know I you know what guys but at least you're being honest and real if the fan the fans get to hear the real truth well it's you know I like to be honest in
00:33:41
real and be forthcoming yeah right and um I think by sharing that right I think if I were going to do it you wouldn't tell the fans I wouldn't tell anybody but I've been I've been outspoken about
00:33:54
it like I'll go to a club Comedy Club yeah and I'll run into somebody that I know that's sober and I go I don't know
00:34:00
what you know I mean I'll talk to them on the side right so I don't I'm you know if I were to do it I would keep it
00:34:06
inside myself right and make a plan that's right don't wake after you say that why because that's like going I'm
00:34:13
not gonna I'm not gonna yeah do you think do you think Tito Bobby's going to use again I don't think so yeah what would you well how would you feel if he did break his you know what actually make a
00:34:25
promise to her that you won't that's you she's broken I can't even get into it but she's broken so many [ __ ]
00:34:31
promises as a girl no I can't do it this first of all number one okay she's not on my side yeah no you're on my girlfriend's side because you guys are blood related that's true right so you
00:34:44
keep secrets from me you need blood in the house why don't you make Stevie move in everyone will die in the house I mean
00:34:50
he'd like Burn It To The Ground he would snap and he would if something would happen if something would drastic would happen and I don't think you would want
00:34:56
to live with them but my point is is this okay I feel it that you get your you side with her yeah right because you
00:35:02
guys are blood related and I'm nothing to you I just happened to be the guy that's not
00:35:07
true you mean a lot to her well I would like to hear it because I'm vulnerable right now and I'm I'm in a bad spot so
00:35:13
I'd like to hear these leave it up to Bobby sabotage my birthday episode about him make Bobby feel good now yeah yeah
00:35:22
I look at you like a father figure sweet but I'm not scared of you but I care about you I don't want you to
00:35:36
relapse because It's Gonna Hurt everyone did did Jules mean what she just said magic eight ball
00:35:48
come on this just shake again or ask again later is meaningless did Jules mean what she said
00:35:55
come on oh it says yeah I can see it it says yes okay I believe you it says yes I believe
00:36:07
you did you see this kid so do you know who this guy is oh Jamie Costa oh the guy that does the impression of Robert Williams yeah but did you see the the the trailer the trailer unbelievable
00:36:20
unfucking believable it was probably the greatest Robin Williams impersonation I think I've ever seen and look he's the second picture there uh he does kind of
00:36:27
have Robin's eyes yeah yeah but this dude right here is legitimately embodies is he
00:36:34
impressionist uh I don't know but I know I saw online him doing why is this guy not on SNL man
00:36:41
because he's so good because now he's the star of a [ __ ] Robin Williams documentary really
00:36:46
or I mean a movie a Robin Williams movie he's the star of that movie and I don't think isn't that a movie about Robin no I
00:36:53
think that he just did the production of that but he this guy did that that's not
00:36:59
a movie I don't think that's a movie no am I losing my mind look up Jamie I thought that was a movie trailer no that
00:37:05
wasn't a piece of a film I think he he wrote a scene from you know I mean something that happened in the past
00:37:11
another guy someone else people are saying they should make a biopic I've read this I thought this was that they
00:37:17
should make a buy pick this guy should be the guy you know what I mean you know who Robin Williams is yeah he's Genie from Aladdin correct
00:37:25
that is that is the best role he ever did you're right and Jumanji correct even more
00:37:32
specifically yeah do you ever see him in one hour photo woof you want to talk about a [ __ ]
00:37:38
creepy roll really good he also did a um that picture of him in one hour photo look at the image of him now tell me
00:37:45
Jules how do you feel about that guy woof yeah scary looks like any member of my family
00:37:50
yeah 100 he also did um Christopher Nolan a movie with Al Pacino hmm right is it am I did I get that wrong insomnia insomnia yeah yeah yeah yeah
00:38:03
yeah and um he was pretty good in that too he's finally I'm gonna what a [ __ ] have you ever see Goodwill
00:38:09
Hunting yeah is he in that um yeah he's the therapist yeah I guess he's a therapist in a way it's like have you seen Mark Hamill in Star Wars he's Luke Skywalker actually
00:38:28
Rudy just saw Star Wars for the first time you did yeah which one New Hope from beginning to end what do you think all the people there were white
00:38:42
all the people there were white that is true that's a good observation well no I
00:38:48
didn't see any brown people you saw a black person no Darth Vader's not black that's his
00:38:55
mask he's white underneath no the voices he's white the Voice who does the voice
00:39:03
well that's true yeah but that's not a black guy in there that's true damn because of genetics yeah why would he you know I mean why
00:39:13
would he spawn hit my head right yes well they should have had the voice there yeah because
00:39:20
the voice the whoever voiced Darth Vader black guys have the coolest voices that's why they did that yeah they it was an actual black actor yeah because
00:39:28
they have the deepest deep yeah like Doc like Doc yeah right but when they lifted up into the mask obviously it's got to
00:39:34
be a white guy it's got to be a white that's the one thing that stood out eh was everybody was white but you didn't see the second one there's one black guy in the second one one there's one black
00:39:41
guy but he runs a city that's a good thing he runs Cloud City that's like like it's not like he's like a janitor
00:39:48
if he was a janitor at Cloud cities yeah and they just ran by this guy right hey
00:39:54
Orlando right watch it right he does run assist right so he's the guy at the city
00:39:59
but what but he's untrustworthy that's what he's doing over there Cloud City not a city yeah yeah it sounds like a drink sounds like a criminal's Haven
00:40:13
maybe yeah but you know what I'm gonna I'm gonna look at the positive right and he he's in charge of mining oh yes yeah
00:40:21
yeah and yes that kind of thing mining for yeah but you saw the first one and didn't like it I I liked it but just wasn't the thing yeah and I thought
00:40:34
Luke was gonna be hot but he's not hot uh well yeah yeah yeah I mean if that's your basis on right yeah is that how you watch things now yeah that you what they have to be hot yeah so if they're ugly
00:40:47
you're not watching it huh yeah wow I can I be can I be very honest yeah I respect the [ __ ] out of that me undies I'll tell you something pal you know I like to be uh I like to wear
00:40:59
high-class stuff on my flesh on your flesh has to be high it has to be high class because I'm a high-class guy yeah
00:41:05
you are and my underwear is strictly only meandi it's fact fact because of the the the uh the um the type of um
00:41:13
material that they use exactly what I'm about to say and the design I get so emotional you do you get a little emotional I get choked up right and also
00:41:20
I love the designs I have ones that have like um fruit on it and pandas I have a little pizza too raccoons raccoon the
00:41:27
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because in Korea right and not in Korea anymore we came here for the freest country in
00:44:19
the world dude nobody gonna tell you what you can it's what I'm saying is that her she has a Filipino mindset
00:44:26
right and in the Philippines right they look at more of looks than Talent right like for instance we could have America could have a Philip Seymour Hoffman
00:44:38
because he walks in he's not like you know I mean Tom Hardy looking character actor right yeah rest in peace but he's
00:44:44
so legitly skillful yeah he's understood undeniable that they don't you know I mean Talent
00:44:51
super you're selling me you're telling me Philip Seymour Hoffman would never get famous in the Philippines I don't think so I think they they would put him
00:44:57
in some weird variety show where they're putting you know I mean black sludge on them I mean they're like
00:45:03
beating him with sticks beating with sticks and he's doing a funny dance and then they [ __ ] do it hey yeah yeah
00:45:09
then they Zoom that it becomes you know what I mean but that's it that's all he is yeah so they're they're they're looks
00:45:15
first talent second you and I would never do well over there yeah like it like if you no you would what you guys
00:45:22
could be in a squid game yeah but I'm not gonna be the probably the lead I'm probably gonna be like I'll probably die at the first and I die right after you
00:45:29
it seems like I'm not gonna die right you know like the guys are running down and you have a shootout and yeah yeah
00:45:35
you're gone I'm like I'll make it up to you and the moment I turn around right in my face I've thought about that right that first
00:45:42
game right we're Stop In Motion go yeah right you're the I swear to God number one you be the guy behind me so it wouldn't sense me I know this and you
00:45:55
would dunk down and I'd be like dude what the [ __ ] are you doing don't worry about it dude don't worry if my knee hurts that's why behind you my back and
00:46:01
my sciatica and then once they say go we'll go when we stop you'll push me and I'll get shot would you do that yeah why just because
00:46:12
it's not a game because I'm gonna die soon too that's true it's like we might as well have some fun die fun yeah cause
00:46:18
at least I laugh you'll go what the [ __ ] yeah it's gonna be funny before they're bound to kill me too yeah she would get
00:46:25
clipped fast too no she would make it really yeah look at her face she doesn't even
00:46:30
believe it you don't think you would make it um I don't think so maybe in the middle
00:46:37
somehow Andres would make it through squid game just because he's just a little she's a little sneaky little rat you know he's such a little let me just
00:46:43
see let me see I'm going to do a motion and you tell me to stop okay I did it right okay I'm gonna do a motion and see if I'm gonna be good at
00:46:50
it right go so what's up let me give you another shot give me another shot and go [Laughter]
00:47:12
all right right and go stop oh you Me Maybe maybe we did have a little shake it was a little a little
00:47:28
it's not let the juice come out all right let me try one more time yeah yeah Joe yeah yeah [Laughter]
00:47:41
pretty good pretty good yeah yeah but I do let me try one let me try one ready and go
00:47:51
stop oh that's good okay good good good good Jules your turn you have to do one you have to do one okay okay you ready yeah yeah go
00:48:05
all right yeah so no no you can't stop you can't stop she stopped when I said stop that was really good wow that actually that's really good damn that was really good and then
00:48:17
there's another what's the game after that was at the tug of war yeah yeah that was right yeah yeah
00:48:23
I wonder okay let's suppose this team all right me you right me you and Jules yeah versus those guys George Andreas and easy Pete easy one them yeah
00:48:39
because of people 100 he [ __ ] it all up yep right yep what about this then okay
00:48:46
me you and George Pete Jules and Andreas that's in that's actually more interesting yeah
00:48:58
no yeah that's that's a tight we had nothing against you because I'm a girl no that's crazy no it's just because just
00:49:11
nothing against you nothing against you yeah yeah um I I actually um oh but did I tell you
00:49:17
I saw a bond not I know that we talked about it last week but I saw no I saw it didn't like it I [ __ ] was in love
00:49:23
with it I loved it it was a lot it was too little a little long a little long a little longer right right I got up to
00:49:29
pee I've never had to do that yeah yeah it was pretty long but I gotta tell you something gorgeous okay
00:49:35
who was in your opinion and we'll move on fast because we've already talked about Bond yeah yeah who was in the movie your
00:49:42
favorite cameo in the movie Cameo well or had a short stint in the film because there were a
00:49:47
lot of people that came and went in that movie yeah that's where the Cameo is yeah I know what a well yeah like you never heard of
00:49:54
it before so who had the best Cameo um I forgot his name fancy Christopher Wall Christopher Waltz with it's not even a question he was amazing it's not even a
00:50:05
question yeah yeah and by the way this isn't me talking shiz yeah I like bottom tooth what's his name Remy Malik
00:50:13
yeah I like him I like bottom tooth yeah he looks like one of those fishes that's on the Deep angler yeah that he'd be translucent I
00:50:24
mean he look he's yeah okay how do you think what is how do you feel about this guy how does he look see they make him that's what he really looks like yeah
00:50:30
what you like him he's hot oh my God look at that that is yeah yeah I mean this guy this girl that looks like a car
00:50:36
GMC is working on yeah okay so compared to that to Luke Skywalker why am I making fun of you just look what no what the [ __ ] babe he's so pale
00:50:48
so is he no he's okay Luke he's pale no no he's more pale let me tell you something yeah this guy is a great actor one of the best right his lines his
00:51:00
edges of his face scare the [ __ ] out of him right I feel like he'll [ __ ] cut you with his with his chin right but
00:51:08
I just I'm being honest I'm not being a dick but he I can feel him acting sometimes in the movie yeah Kristoff Waltz it was like watching a guy put
00:51:19
butter on toast it was just like a smooth and he was so patient with the way he was doing his lines it's
00:51:25
interesting that you say that because I when he first came out and his it was not the energy but he was like just so
00:51:33
in it right and like not trying oh dude right and he slowly builds it right you're right I mean his performance it was good it was very good it was good that's not right I'm not down in the
00:51:45
guy's performance in fact if I had a movie a minute I probably put it yeah yeah no no audition no audition yeah no audition I mean he was great in
00:51:57
the [ __ ] Queen he was very good Freddy Mercury that was a great very good great actor but there were times
00:52:02
when you know when he was holding the girl you know what I mean he's trying to be menacing yeah yeah I did not like I
00:52:08
didn't like but but I thought that opening scene I'm not giving her any plot lines none the girl in that house
00:52:17
correct in the in the snow right was that unfucking real just the way they shot it so cool the pacing so cool that's fukinagua Mexican
00:52:33
yeah wait Pokemon was Mexican yep Kerry fukunagua who is the one who shot that I
00:52:39
didn't know that and by the way yeah pound for pound one of the coolest shot Bond movies I've seen and it's just it's
00:52:46
done it's really well it's done props hard props um one of the previews that I saw during it by the way
00:52:51
um that I thought was gonna piss me off oh no wait okay so we're gonna talk about the previews before Bond yeah all
00:52:57
right I'm gonna tell you what I liked and what you tell me what you like okay I'm gonna guess I'm gonna guess what you were gonna say which one which one you
00:53:03
thought it was gonna piss me off but I actually am excited to see it Ghostbusters 100 go 100 yeah and
00:53:09
initially I thought this is gonna [ __ ] piss me off they're gonna do Ghostbusters again I already [ __ ] the all-girl won from SNL God bless those
00:53:16
girls but [ __ ] off that was the worst [ __ ] I've ever seen in my [ __ ] life my friend Katie dip hold wrote it okay
00:53:22
it's good it was a bad movie stop it Katie's good she probably I'm sure she's incredible writer but that movie wasn't
00:53:28
Ghostbusters this version I'll tell you I'll tell you why because it's kids no no it looks
00:53:34
like the the youth exploring the history of Ghostbusters was cool it's it reminded me of those 1980 there's like a
00:53:42
little magic in it right of like it's uplifting yes right it's kind of the town it's just the music the way it's shot you have this like kind of magical sensation right and then once you
00:53:54
realize what it is it has the music right yep the casting yeah I mean the color's all right like the creatures that are like when Paul Rudd is in the [ __ ] grocery store and the little
00:54:04
marshmallow internet when that hat when I saw that it was just like Goosebumps all over my body
00:54:10
okay this movie by the way yeah answering the call I'll go back right yeah no disrespect no disrespect it just wasn't Ghostbusters is all my point that's all I'm saying it just didn't
00:54:22
have the the judge yeah and this new one yeah it does yeah and Aykroyd is in it I
00:54:28
know amazing okay so that one I was happy about let me guess what you weren't happy with go ahead go ahead
00:54:35
Matrix why why yeah why I'm saying why are we doing that what do you mean why why would I ever want to see why the [ __ ] are we doing it
00:54:47
like you're correct you're right oh I thought you were like yeah why haven't I had anything to do with it no I'm saying you're right I'm agreeing with you oh
00:54:53
yeah why Matrix why why why yeah I get it why why yeah why I wanted to say that out loud when I saw it yeah why now now let me get so first they're gonna [ __ ] it up first of all right if you're
00:55:08
gonna put Keanu Reeves in it he has to be Neo no [ __ ] he's the guy right Neil Neil Carrie Anne Moss yeah man yeah right
00:55:21
but then you don't put [ __ ] Lord's Fishburn in it why Madonna too old someone younger yeah
00:55:29
they wanted someone younger no was it a situation where he that he got offered the part and then
00:55:36
um no he went no there's no way they didn't offer him in the park I think they politely have to tell him that
00:55:42
they're making we're going a different direction you're Morpheus they don't owe him [ __ ] I know that's crazy there's no
00:55:48
way Studios don't give a [ __ ] they're about the money look I'm gonna watch it anyway of course
00:55:53
I'm gonna watch it but I'll wait in line I'm gonna [ __ ] the first guy yeah all right so uh and by the way yeah after I see it I'm gonna love it I'm gonna love
00:55:58
every second of it yeah and even if it's bad I'm gonna say I love it yeah I'm gonna lie and then when I see Keanu right
00:56:04
I'm so happy that you did it yeah yeah great job you wanna suck his dick you can't just say it was a great movie you
00:56:09
could just go great movie you know I never said that something oh it sounded like you said that I never said that all right what other trailer did I did I not like okay oh so um well I'll tell you
00:56:16
what I liked what did you was there another trailer you liked no oh no I don't think so really I don't think it was anything else that I did there was a movie with Jessica Chastain and
00:56:28
like three other women that are Fighters that are uh oh oh and then kumails movie uh that that one that one as well the
00:56:35
Marvel uh oh yeah um what is that one called it's called let me don't say it okay it's
00:56:40
eternals Eternal the eternals yeah I mean here's here's what I'm happy for him because I root for Kumail because I
00:56:54
think he's a good dude yeah he's a good guy like so I'm happy for him but um I understand that um I don't know what
00:57:02
it is I didn't get it at all the trailer I was like what the [ __ ] is this what and they're running on a tough yeah they're running out of stuff
00:57:09
look at him there yeah it is funny he got in such good shape only to put on a full body suit yeah that's great this
00:57:17
that does look like one AB is making its way down yeah like you know when you get you know when your balls one of them
00:57:22
goes up into your body a little bit Yeah that's what happens when it gets one of my nuts goes up now the veins did they put that in there
00:57:29
no man that's real no that's him those are real they've talked about it on numerous that's incredible
00:57:34
that's incredible Dune Dune Dune did look great Dune looks great Dune looks great that's fine yeah okay but I but I've seen that before I got in the theater I hadn't seen the Ghostbusters trailer oh my God that was so magical so
00:57:46
incredible but I I'd seen dude did you see the Paul Thomas Anderson one too I've seen the trailer about a thousand [ __ ] times now that looks good yes
00:57:53
okay okay I I think PTA is great I also think you know that's you know Rudy want
00:58:00
to see it why no I want to see it I'm starting to read the book uh what book Dune
00:58:08
[Laughter] my brother and I are a big fan of the original I know it got Pam the original Dune I love the original Doom movie yeah it's good it's fun you don't like it
00:58:21
it's a little it's a little it's long it's a little what it's horrible it's a little shitty okay but it's fun shitty
00:58:27
but it's odd that's what I like about it it's because it because it's David Lynch
00:58:33
right there are some weird scenes in it like when with um sting and that other yep that fat guy that floats that sting
00:58:40
thing that's not I know but that I know but those two together as a kid when you're watching it it's cool it's not
00:58:46
just cool it's scary it's weird it's cool it's cool because it's [ __ ] weird as [ __ ] yeah like
00:58:52
these two yeah yeah when this dude comes out yeah this is the first time I saw a redhead in my life I'm like oh God
00:59:00
that's what they look like we protested this because he's not a nap yeah look at him right and what's the fact what's the fat guy the fat guy show him sting in
00:59:07
that other guy that guy that's me is that you yeah that is you those are wait those are both stages of your life this is literally my whole family that's my family yeah that's you and probably 22
00:59:19
that's you at 16. 60. yeah yeah put a little bit closer baby I'm that's me in about six years yeah I keep up this
00:59:25
pandemic 20 that I keep building on that's me and that's me talking to you Bobby
00:59:30
is that me that's you right yeah you become an old white guy yeah that's amazing yeah but anyway I fart so [ __ ] bad yeah I'm gonna watch
00:59:41
that in the theater yeah dune's gonna be great do you want to watch it 100 let's go but I thought we're gonna go to scary
00:59:47
nights we'll do that too why don't we go to why don't we go to Halloween haunted scare nights or whatever the [ __ ] it's
00:59:52
called and then go to the theater there and watch Dune they have a theater there yeah yeah let's go there do they have a
00:59:57
theater there at Universal yeah oh it's the honest say it again no I'm gonna give me
01:00:04
another shot try it again okay can I yeah all right could you say action though here we go yeah they have a
01:00:10
theater there yeah they have a Hollywood say it again yeah we can just go after we do Halloween we have a holiday haunted huh they have hanada what is it called though Halloween lights
01:00:23
Halloween Horror Nights hollowed out Horror Nights hollowed out Halloween Horror Nights let's say it again
01:00:29
yeah they have at Halloween Horror Nights Halloween Horror Nights Yes sounds like serious you're saying horn
01:00:35
nights yeah I have problems with my ages and R's really yeah say uh say Harissa all right so
01:00:46
harisa say no it's got to be like a sentence with a bunch of H's in it a bunch of H's
01:00:52
yeah yeah uh do one of those uh little rhyme things there's no Wellness seashells seashells by the seashore do
01:00:57
that with H's what are those things even called algorithms what is it called fans tongue
01:01:04
twister tongue twister oh yeah tongue Twitches with h yeah let's see if we can um oh let's see any
01:01:11
of these all right go ahead let's see if you can do anything okay but do it fast oh there can we do it zoom in more because my eyes are blurry Jesus more
01:01:17
and more huge it's like I can't I gotta get glasses all right so let me go first I'll do the
01:01:23
whole number one ready yeah Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled pickled peppers A pickled pickled
01:01:28
peppers if you hey Peter Piper picked a pig peck of pickled pecker purse where's the peck
01:01:35
of pickled peppers that's a really good thanks wait go up let me try yeah yeah go fast
01:01:42
though Peter Piper pictures it's hard right yeah go jewels fast flippers a pack of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked if Peter Piper picked a peck of
01:02:04
pickled peppers where's the big pick of pepper Piper dick [Laughter] ladies and gentlemen thanks man the Korean Eminem green and Eminem yeah
01:02:45
how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood he would chuck as he would as much as he could as much wood as a woodchuck could if a
01:02:50
woodchuck would you know you know why you'd go at that because it's reading a sentence not only that what you did that in the woods of
01:02:58
Detroit or wherever you're from Chicago and you know this yeah same oh no yeah in the midwest yes you're you and your
01:03:06
pals your Jeffrey Dahmer looking friends yeah right we're out right let's play a
01:03:11
word game guys yeah in the woods yeah and then you guys would do this one all the time it's like I wouldn't even be able to do that let me try foreign
01:03:22
it's [ __ ] huge how much would a woodpecker would chuck would a woodchuck there's no pet shark wood no woodpecker woodchuck how much would a woodchuck chuck if a
01:03:33
woodchuck could chuck wood Chuck he would as much as you could because it was a wood as a woodchuck if
01:03:40
I would chuck could chuck wood by the way yeah that should be the way if you're trying to find out if an Asian
01:03:46
person can get into this country hi are you ready to take your citizenship test I am all right well let me tell you something uh Yoshi this is
01:04:04
not gonna be easy but if you fail in saying this Toshi if you fail now where are you going I'll leave it [ __ ] okay Toshi sorry
01:04:11
about that sir Hashimoto Well we'd love to have you as a United States citizen ready yeah all you have to do is read this phrase and that's all you have to
01:04:16
do when you're in the country that's it that's it that's it but you can't screw it up all right Toshi so go right ahead
01:04:23
number three how much water am I out in your house sorry coach yeah you're gone oh you know what you know what we like you yeah let's give you one more okay how fast can I do it slow it
01:04:37
has to be very fast come on Tosh how much would a woodchucker chuck if a woodchucker
01:04:45
sorry toast that's gonna be the end of it what about my wife oh man would you like to try yeah yeah I'll try oh
01:04:52
where's your accent what you come to America all of a sudden you have an American accent he's a
01:04:59
little lazy did you lose it yes I'll try oh that what she's from Wisconsin oh nice yeah how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if
01:05:12
a woodchuck could chuck wood he would chuck he would he would as much as he could you can't repeat it you're out
01:05:18
okay you guys are both these are crazy these are crazy she sells she yourself you know like when you know when like a racist person yells go back to your
01:05:24
country they should have this on a sheet of paper and be like read this or go back to your [ __ ] country yang you
01:05:31
know what I do like does this work for you red leather yellow leather red red leather yellow leather yeah like so a
01:05:37
warm-up exercises when you do warm-up that one works for me no like when I'm acting right and I and I have a long
01:05:43
thing to say yeah and I get things jumbled up in my head yeah when I say red leather yellow leather right that
01:05:50
works it does work for me really here's another thing that works what watermelon watermelon yeah so it's like um
01:05:57
what like do you physically eat watermelon no oh what the [ __ ] no when you're lip syncing when you say water
01:06:04
well it usually lines up oh like if I'm talking let's say I'm saying watermelon watermelon watermelon
01:06:10
and you talk you know you're my voice it'll probably line up all right let's try all right I'm ready
01:06:16
hey this is Bobby Lee and I gotta tell you something I am a blatant homosexual I've talked about it on this show so it doesn't no it doesn't I'm wrong about it yeah you're way off 100 because it looks
01:06:29
like you're just saying watermelon that's true it doesn't even remotely look like you're saying anything yeah no I don't know I know why I know that why because years ago like um when I used to
01:06:42
I was on a I did a pilot called um I did one with Steve renazizi and Steve Howe I
01:06:47
forgot it was called and Steve Howe is that Steve Howie oh yeah it's Zoe Lister Jones and so I had a lot of scenes where
01:06:53
I was like in the background and and they would like you're in the background Bobby just
01:06:59
you're talking so I just didn't know what to say someone extra from Chicago we shot in
01:07:04
Chicago he was like you know a like a pro extra a background Guy saying yeah he goes kid you know what the trick is I go what just say watermelon you know I mean you know I mean over and over again
01:07:17
so if you see the pilot I guess you'll see me go I always thought that that would work
01:07:23
but probably doesn't no because you're faking a conversation you could just go anything and then it looks like you going
01:07:28
yeah yeah so did you make any of those Star Wars did you make anything yet not yet okay Jules all right
01:07:39
do you remember Obi-Wan Kenobi yeah he's the one that Princess Leia made a record
01:07:45
with R2D2 that's true and in the bar he walks into that bar right and he put when he pulls out his lightsaber and
01:07:57
turns it on saber lightsaber saber with a B saver not his lightsaber no it's not
01:08:03
saving light it's lightsaber does life it does save lives though so Lifesaver I guess it's called a
01:08:09
lightsaber I wish that was lightsaber because it saves lives I guess you're you're right actually
01:08:14
thank you okay so when he pulls out his lightsaber Lifesaver yeah saver what does he do with it
01:08:21
he swishes it around [Laughter] did not see it did not see it 100 yet we saw clips on YouTube no I was watching it but you weren't watching it I was the one
01:08:35
yeah okay I think you'll get another shot another question yeah give everyone another one yeah give her another one okay so um
01:08:46
when they capture Princess Leia what's what first of all what's the planet called or the the no just listen okay it's the most
01:08:58
notorious thing right they're like clothing brands and bands named after so it's like where Darth Vader is right it's it's a spaceship that looks like a
01:09:09
planet right what's that called did it say that that yeah it does it does a million times is it
01:09:20
Imperial yeah Forest yeah Imperial Imperial Forest no it's called the Death Star no it's called the Imperial death
01:09:31
star is the weapon no no he didn't see it he didn't see it so anyway when Princess Leia is on the Death Star right yeah and she in Darth Vader
01:09:43
you could go I want to see her so there's a scene where they're on a deck yeah yeah right what does Darth Vader do
01:09:50
she well he wants to show her something what is she what does he show her he shows her planets that are exploding
01:10:01
that's true that is true that's true that's what he's one planet that are her home planet a planet exploding yeah for home planet that's what I said
01:10:12
okay you said Planet it's simpler all right so when Han Solo right Princess Leia so Han Solo Princess Leia
01:10:30
Lou can you say Leia Princess Leia it's Lifesaver got it okay I got it all right thank you yes Princess Leia my last name's Lee yes I know it's
01:10:41
the only way I can memorize I get it yeah it's just Leah yeah Princess Leia all right they is they Escape right and
01:10:48
now Stormtroopers are fighting there's a right where do they fall into they fall into
01:10:56
a black hole [Laughter] but then they were saved yeah you didn't see it you definitely didn't see it it's
01:11:07
one of the most notorious scenes they fall they fall into like a garbage you know I mean disposal place right where
01:11:13
yes where they get ground up yeah and then what happens in that garbage disposal place
01:11:19
C3PO and he's not even in it oh yeah he's not even in there someone saves them how Obi-Wan okay you did not [ __ ] see it
01:11:33
you have to watch it again you never [ __ ] saw it we're gonna do another test next week it's so boring
01:11:41
[ __ ] boring she it's not her generation would hate Star Wars but they have no connection to it I know but I want to say this okay and I really mean this okay right sometimes I play
01:11:53
stupid on the show we all do that's that's fun of the show that's the photo show like I don't know what I'm talking about right but this is a real thing
01:12:00
okay it's just listen to me I think this is very important right when you're watching something you also have to put
01:12:07
yourself in that generation or that time it came out right right so it's like when I listen to like let's say a band
01:12:15
like the Stooges right obviously they didn't have the kind of recording equipment and types of things that we
01:12:22
have now right they have facts right but I put myself in that era and also you have to think to yourself where was music at at that point right so what you
01:12:32
realize what they were doing was Innovative and different yep right you have to kind of put yourself there it's
01:12:38
like when you're watching a history reading a history book right and you're reading it it's like you can't go well
01:12:44
why didn't you know I mean they nuke like in the 1700s why they why didn't they nuke it because they didn't have
01:12:49
nuclear [ __ ] weapons back then right you have to look at what they had back then right so when you look at a [ __ ]
01:12:55
movie like Star Wars you realize that it was the first of its kind it was right all those spaceships and stuff it wasn't
01:13:01
[ __ ] CGI models Real Models right they painted that [ __ ] right and they zoomed in and they did all that [ __ ] that was like so
01:13:13
like innovative and um do you understand what I'm saying also Star Wars were they were put in like in the valley in some weird Warehouse yeah
01:13:25
where there was no air conditioning yeah and they were just sweating it out building this [ __ ] kind of like yeah
01:13:31
yeah exactly and the Studio's like this is not gonna work right when when [ __ ] Steven Spielberg showed it to
01:13:38
his friends the first original version he showed it to George Lucas right uh he Brian De Palma
01:13:44
um Scorsese all these legendary Right he brought them all over he's like look at my George Lucas look at my movie they
01:13:51
after the movie was done they looked him and goes it's terrible don't even release it right so then what George
01:13:57
Lucas did was he found a [ __ ] different editor right and he made the action be the editing technique in terms
01:14:04
of that comes first so everything intermittent is spliced based on the action right it changed the the movie
01:14:10
yeah right that's what you have to do when you watch a movie like that but to you
01:14:15
there's no you're like oh that doesn't look real or you know I mean there should be more explosions
01:14:23
Luke Skywalkers I don't like his 70s haircuts because he was in the 1970s lady yeah lady okay I'll watch it again hey Rudy what did we miss from your review
01:14:36
from my review from my review I'm not just Jesus I said the acting Lucas looks acting as bad
01:14:51
[Laughter] the synonym matography looks old okay but I like the theme music the music you liked yeah okay in conclusion it was kind of boring
01:15:09
what do you give it how many how many stars out of five two two star all right you know what
01:15:16
[ __ ] you you know Star Wars a two-star movie [ __ ] [ __ ] you you know what look
01:15:21
at me right now I'm Gonna Give You spoilers all right because you're not gonna watch the second one which is the
01:15:26
best one wait make her watch it no you should watch it I'll watch it no you can't watch it all right you're not
01:15:32
gonna watch it and I'm gonna tell you something all right I'm getting angry okay I'm gonna give you some spoilers and everyone's listening so everyone knows the movie all right yeah okay you
01:15:39
know who Luke Skywalker right and Princess Leia you know who they are in relation to each other
01:15:44
siblings they're siblings who's their dad Darth Vader you already know this how the [ __ ] do you already know this I
01:15:51
don't know [Music] I was just looking at she looked online I'm sure it's all over the internet
01:16:02
I'm impressed yeah I'm impressed by how much she hates it it's actually yeah I've never heard anyone hate it but you know what her generation who knows I bet you we have to have fans that are
01:16:14
in their young 20s that also hate the [ __ ] movie I'm sure I'm sure there are yeah they're out there yeah I'm
01:16:19
worried I'm curious to see if you saw a movie like taxi driver or something dark never gonna like she's never gonna like
01:16:24
yeah you're not gonna get it because there's like like Dog Day Afternoon she'll hate that [ __ ] oh my God what a great move because it's based on the
01:16:30
true story that thing you won't like it you should try you should try we should make you try these on on this off week
01:16:35
and see which one you actually like no you know we should do every week at the end right a movie Reveal Jewels movie
01:16:41
review yeah yeah and we'll make her watch Classics you have to watch them so what am I gonna watch now so let's make
01:16:47
her watch I can watch Dog Day Afternoon I think something I think it's a phenomenal movie and it also has themes
01:16:53
that are without ruining it that is something that's current in this day and age I think something's a little bit more dark than that Raiders
01:17:01
Raiders are lost no no I mean that's great that's great no he's meaning like something he wants like
01:17:07
dark what about this Apocalypse Apocalypse Now fine Apocalypse Now great or Clockwork Orange clock work orange
01:17:13
clock work orange all right you're watching Clockwork Orange you're watching Clockwork Orange okay this week
01:17:19
all right great she just comes back she's like I watched that movie Orange County it wasn't good at all yeah yeah yeah it's
01:17:27
called Clockwork Orange Stanley Cooper when the movie came out it was banned from England correct right or Europe or
01:17:33
something I think it was England England yeah what a weird movie amazing oh what
01:17:38
a weird good movie I remember it gave me like day night day mares you know like what nightmares that day yeah I think
01:17:44
about it during the day and be freaked out with my eyes wide open thinking about how creepy it was I remember watching as a kid going
01:17:50
like literally jerking off to The Milk Bar oh The Milk Bar is the hottest thing yeah like yeah right so these games I
01:17:56
don't know I'll give it up all right those milk Bars were like sexy to me it was a Milko Willow set yeah all right so
01:18:05
you're watching A Clockwork Orange okay you logged in you excited and I want real notes yeah and I don't
01:18:11
want you to be texting yeah no no uh your phone should be I don't want you to be texting or anything or watching your
01:18:18
anime because I know you have two gadgets sometimes I know you do that no I do you all the
01:18:25
time I see you watching [ __ ] and doing [ __ ] on your phone okay do you not do that
01:18:30
no yeah you do let me ask you something do you do that and what do you do that do you do two
01:18:36
things I want to watch a watch a thing and be on another Gadget if I'm watching a um docu-series huh I'll do that
01:18:43
but right now I'm watching a show called secession it's the best succession yeah it's the
01:18:49
best I didn't know about it and I I know so are you starting from the first season yeah what's so good it's so good
01:18:56
and I'm now at the LA tonight I'm watching the last episode of the first season first season but there was a
01:19:02
couple episodes before that that made me laugh so [ __ ] hard which one we've all seen it it's where they go to the [ __ ] um that bachelor party uh-huh right and then Tom Tom is so
01:19:16
funny God he's funny right Tom goes that girl that's a good right and what he does oh yeah man I know exactly that he openly admits that yes right like almost
01:19:27
in a bragging way um yeah right and then at the end when they're walking out they
01:19:32
go good job Tom we heard like he went around like everybody everyone knows about it right it's so [ __ ] funny
01:19:38
Beyond there's also a scene when um the daughter is begging to go see her dad Siobhan right and Maria or the mother or the stepmother Marcia the Stepmom or whatever yeah yeah see he's
01:19:51
not well you know give it some time and she's insisting yeah to go up there right so she just borrowed us up there
01:19:57
she's like I'm you're not gonna you know what I mean and there's a scene in a very intimate moment where she puts her
01:20:04
hand on her dad and he's you know he had he says a brand brain aneurysm he's in and out of conscience he's a stroke stroke right and he there's a touching scene where he goes
01:20:14
I love you you know you know that he's never said that probably before ever she starts tearing up right then he grabs
01:20:22
her hand and tries to get her hand to touch his penis yeah it's the funniest thing on earth so [ __ ] funny right
01:20:28
that show is so good it's so good and I'm excited because of a show like this because I never I didn't know what it
01:20:34
was I can't believe you never saw it no it's so popular I know my friend Jean was like you haven't seen it it's just
01:20:40
you know there's so much [ __ ] out yeah you miss it right yeah so now watching it and I have now seconds the second
01:20:47
season that I've never seen and then also the third season coming up I'm so [ __ ] excited just wait I'm a great
01:20:52
third season great do you know who kills it on that show by the way Kieran Culkin yeah he does do great I love him but
01:20:57
who's who to you makes you chuckle because it's he's so funny and dumb Greg Greg is [ __ ] unreal dude I feel
01:21:05
so bad for him oh he's the best yeah wait till second season you're gonna love it I just you know I'm afraid that
01:21:11
he's gonna die he's not gonna die he doesn't die thank God I don't know what happened in the third season but he's so
01:21:16
dumb so good I know we in the show yeah is he not dumb Nicholas Braun his name is Nick Braun he's a [ __ ] great actor
01:21:22
he's friends with people I know really well really when the show came out I reached out to him online and I was like I want to tell you dude you steal comedy
01:21:28
scenes from that show because it's his nervousness and he throws away a dumb line yeah and because the way he goes so
01:21:35
you know when he throws away something small yeah he's so [ __ ] funny like he's so out of touch it's great yeah
01:21:41
he's like the characters he's [ __ ] phenomenal oh it's a great show what a great show anyway all right so listen
01:21:47
yeah I'd like you to sing you just you Bobby lay to sing me Happy Birthday quietly smoothly sexily in your own Bobby Lee
01:21:57
way go ahead may I say something before I go yeah okay you know I could do it comedically okay okay I could do it with a smile
01:22:12
but I can also do it real and in a way how it really makes me feel about you okay
01:22:22
but now that I just said that it makes me laugh I know right so just give me a second go ahead and just recoup I'm sorry why does that happen we can wait all
01:22:33
right no here we go oh come on foreign happy birthday to you happy birthday to you
01:23:48
[Music] happy birthday dear Andrew foreign [Music] to you thank you Bob thank you for being a bad friend thank you Bob huge
01:24:21
[Music] laughs [Music]