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Korean Elvis & Andrew Dahmer | Ep 140 | Bad Friends

October 31, 2022 / 01:07:19

This Halloween episode of Bad Friends features Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino discussing various comedic topics, including Halloween traditions, celebrity encounters, and fictional scenarios involving Elvis Presley and Jeffrey Dahmer.

Bobby Lee humorously impersonates Jeffrey Dahmer, discussing his infamous cannibalism while joking about his love for different cultures. The conversation touches on racial themes and the absurdity of Dahmer's choices.

Andrew Santino plays along with the Halloween theme, portraying Elvis Presley and engaging in comedic banter about their costumes and Halloween experiences. They share personal anecdotes about trick-or-treating and Halloween decorations.

The episode includes discussions about their live shows, celebrity encounters, and a humorous take on dating and relationships, particularly in the context of Bobby's dating life.

Throughout the episode, the duo maintains a light-hearted atmosphere while addressing sensitive topics with humor, showcasing their chemistry and comedic timing.

TLDR

Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino celebrate Halloween with jokes about Dahmer, Elvis, and their personal experiences.

Episode

1:07:19
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two are bad friends or something we're bad friends welcome to the Spooktacular well Friends
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Halloween Halloween oh welcome to bad Friends Halloween episode everyone say who they are Bobby go I am
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Jeffrey Dahmer is one of his victims the Filipino guy he ate no I'm I'm Elvis Presley how you doing
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this guy over here is my good friend Elvis Presley how are you doing Dad why don't you eat one of the sandwiches I
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made for you that's real that's really good what does he say that's just uh it's some fish I
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cooked earlier that's why it smells over there it's not because of young black
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men's bodies rotting in the fridge yeah it stinks because I'm I let some meat go
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bad so good I really messed it up this time huh Dad yeah oh Dad I'm in a real
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stinker now it's so good he would kill someone and they go you know I made a real stinker
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this time yeah I'm in a real conundrum someone's like uh Jeffrey you severed
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his head yeah too many crickets I never knew it was gonna come to this yeah I'm Jeffrey D baby and let's throw
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it to the girls what's up what are you supposed to be I'm Mother Teresa Asian Filipino virgin
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who likes to also kill people and maybe spank babies I remember I've read that when I was a
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kid what part of the world are you from again yeah Persia from Persia from an Asian
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Filipino nun who loves to kill people in Spanish um used to be I'm a sick dog
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say it again I'm a sick dog a sick of dog what does a sick dog sound like like
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this I don't know dogs can't talk but I'm no don't they go do we no that's what they do yeah when
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the cone is because you're sicker because you didn't want you to because
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you just got uh spayed or neutered yeah they took my [ __ ] out [Laughter] yeah exactly they do it for the bigger
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Dog Days of course yeah like a little like a little like a yogurt Yorkshire Terrier if she wants to [ __ ] a pit bull
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they probably get that operation ah I didn't think of it like that yeah think
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of it that way who loves pit bulls black black people and what do they have you eat them big dick your character eats
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them sometimes I eat a couple of black guys it's not mine their skin is beautiful no when I saw that that show
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is that racism oh yeah it is he loves black people oh we don't interpret it that way though I
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do I I know you love something you eat it but think of it this way I love black guys
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for any questions okay so so check it out yeah so basically it's in the 90s you did this
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sure yeah did you listen to Nirvana or did you like the music or yeah I mean in bloom
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is a great song that's right so what I'm saying is never mind okay in the 90s
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listen to me okay in the 90s in Wisconsin what there was like four Filipinos dude you ate one Filipino
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that's basically wiping half the [ __ ] Filipino [ __ ] population six quarter
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if you do it yeah right so how is that not racism because I'm I basically am showing
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praise for how much I love those jungle Asians right right but it's but why didn't you eat whites
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they're not my flavor they don't oh they don't taste good yeah imagine like this
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what's your least favorite food mine yeah um meatloaf why people are meatloaf to me oh that's
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true and you like filet mignon and black people are basically filet mignon right
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what about the Filipino guy you well Philip it's just a little something spicy you're right a little spicier you
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need something you need to Shake it Off You Ever Had balut yeah it's basically Filipino guys hello yeah
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that's great honestly yeah I don't think he was racist I think he was a piece of
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[ __ ] oh no that but I think he really loved black guys he was upset he thought
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they were beautiful listen Okay I killed him because he was bad head a bad mind he's a legend he's a Hall of Famer he's
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a Pioneer what no he is he's a legend Pioneer yeah right yeah and he also is
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um somebody that opened the doors for other serial killers right yes yes I'm giving them props right thank you
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I'm just right in terms of the serial killer world if there was like a Hall of
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Fame you walked in you go oh there's oh yeah sure in the Hall of Fame right yeah
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right so but the the but the racism I could accept it's not really the eating
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and the cannibalism okay the racism I draw the line there he will be canceled today he'd be canceled today but just
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because they don't allow cannibalism anymore no and it used to be cool man all right no but you know what how is it
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racist it'd be racist if he never ate black people and he'd be like I don't
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like the taste of black people that'd be racist right instead he was like they're
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so beautiful I want to rub their soft chocolate skin he was obsessed it could be you know I hate them so much I gotta
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eat them no because no because he didn't he do it to whites did he eat any whites
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bring up the list of people he had to have eaten a white or two I know and he found out that he did like
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the taste but we're talking about Wisconsin if we were talking about you know I mean South Central Milwaukee well
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there's more blacks obviously at the 90s there can't be a lot of work you actually don't know what you're
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talking about Milwaukee is is very diverse it is okay my bad my bad it has a very big black community yeah yeah
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isn't all meat taste it tastes the same [ __ ] yeah doesn't all human meat taste the
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same yeah no no you don't taste the same as me yeah yeah I'm more I'm more pure
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but we're the same inside no we're not that's what they tell you in school no
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it's your here's the thing the air you breathe the food you eat it all affects
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the meat that's right the stress you seem very stressful jewels my name zoom in
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go both ways Richard Guerrero Mexican Jeremy Weinberger that's my age that's
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white yeah Jeremy doc Jamie dokstar White no Ricky B Jamie doxitator Doc's Tater doctor's black dictator Doc's
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Tater white guy all right Ricky beaks white guy Oliver Lacy white guy what about conorack Cynthia phone okay
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Filipino yeah yeah Ernest Miller white Tony Hughes maybe could be black Joseph Brady hoft white guy
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Matt Turner I mean we don't know yeah we don't know it's too fast Anthony Sears
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again no black David Thomas black that's white guy no Tom Dave Thomas says Wendy's his owner he was white yeah but
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the C [ __ ] it up yeah David [ __ ] Thomas yeah Edward Edward White Smith W Smith white you know when
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they throw the W in no but it's Edward White Smith you're right I'll give you
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that I'll give you that I'll give you that all right so the dominant amount of
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these names seem to be white guys yeah but you just make you're making assumptions I think so the documentary
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was racist because they only showed the black murders I get what you're saying
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okay okay quite frankly I like men of all shapes sizes and colors yeah I was actually offended the documentary only
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showed me attacking black people no I attacked everybody now if you went to the serial killer Hall of Fame where
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would you be more excited to go oh John Wayne Gacy that'd be fun uh the clown
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makeup do you think they still have it yeah they probably have it I would look up the brand
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how much is that painting well how much is a John Wayne oh my God so how much is
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the John Wayne Gacy honestly how much let's go to better than George W bush is
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in terms of the price Wayne Casey how much how much are these paintings worth yeah look at that one
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pretty good how much is it a thousand a thousand right now I could buy that now let's buy John Wayne Gacy paintings
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for the studio yeah too scary but it doesn't the money doesn't go to him it goes to his kids and they need
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them he needs a better art dealer yeah should we deal art for him are these prints or these Originals there's
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no way these are Originals that seems like a print yeah they're print do you
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original original what if we got into the business of selling cereal that'd be cool Bobby artifacts even well
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yeah I have one of Ed gein's lampshades that he used the skin you know what I
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mean well I would probably charge 100 grand for it at least dude this is Ed geens
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yeah this is lamp skin lambskin lambskin yeah didn't he do that yes yeah take the
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skin yeah and made lampshade and then when you turn on the light do they say I'm gonna turn on the light or did they
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say I'm gonna turn on Stephanie panel over your head you you can take the kennel off I feel like I'm gonna
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throw up but I might eat it after take the kennel off what did that painting say ten thousand dude ten thousand dude
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that's it let's buy that's it we gotta buy it let's buy it does she need help
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taking us off let's get this let's get some music put to this her taking a
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great now you're free put that closer to your face lower it down so we can see your dog face oh oh
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and you went to go lick yourself oh that's good screwed it down for hold on oh
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very good shot tonight thank you so we just did a bad friends uh live at The Comedy Store we're doing
00:11:17
a tour next year we're gonna announce the dates at some point juicy was on it
00:11:20
killed it [Music] foreign killed it killed it yeah and where were you Jules um I'll get the mic again God I was
00:11:40
sleeping sleeping she's sleeping yeah you know when I'm on a Town what invited
00:11:47
her you invited her you bought her you bit her I am biting her it's never gonna get old
00:11:53
with me when this guy's accident I on bitey here you've been here for 25 years invite say
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Vite fight no not fight fight with a V fight there it is bite I invited her I invited and what did she say when you
00:12:06
invited her to the to the live show she said I'll show up to bad friends later
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wow yeah do you feel like you're above us now no yeah I just feel like sleep is
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more important than than your relationship with your titles um yeah okay so backstage wow who was backstage
00:12:28
tonight you me Ari shaffir all right Madness who Kanye does not like also so him and me and Ari Madness you saw we
00:12:37
had it out and we headed out Santino came in after and we filled him in I heard yeah well you jerked off to his
00:12:44
girlfriend yeah what with his penis with his penis well you didn't use his penis
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but well I saw it though his penis was in yeah but in a way you jerked off with his penis to his girlfriend in a woman
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because when you're watching a porn you imagine that you imagine that's your
00:12:58
penis yeah so I was using you know I mean he was my penis what'd you say to him I just basically said it's not right
00:13:05
and I kind of I think I was mean like your comedy career didn't yeah yeah he
00:13:10
said that he said that yeah he said you were mean he already came in really sad that was really mean and then when you
00:13:14
left I was a little bit more I mean I said I called him a willow tree I said you're a willow tree and he was what
00:13:19
does that mean I said I like them but God are they [ __ ] miserable yeah yeah you know that I wish I could have came
00:13:25
up with that but I mean but he's a lovely human and we love him and look yeah I love him forever it's just
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jealousy I told him he was jealousy well he's you're jealous that he's a bigger
00:13:33
[ __ ] than you and it looks nice and it's a better it's better all around that's
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all yeah I can admit that as a man right it's okay yeah yeah I mean have you seen
00:13:43
it yeah you think yours is better yeah okay I'll get it no a guy's got a nice pipe
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yeah yeah guy's got a nice pie it's nice it's pretty good though I got a nice pup
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too yeah pretty good food Daddy's got a nice pup too yeah but this is not about
00:13:58
pipe you see my pipe oh yeah yeah oh yeah excellent and by the way for everyone that's coming to the bad
00:14:03
Friends tour good good next year no no don't be a dick good pipe pretty good
00:14:08
pretty good for my type for your size thank you for your shape really okay you know how like uh you know how they
00:14:15
teach kids shapes when they have to put them like they have to put the Octagon thing in the Box the Octagon yeah uh you
00:14:21
would they should also have a Bobby Lee one they should have like a square a triangle a circle an octagon a Bobby Lee
00:14:26
it's like a bowling pin right you know what I mean yeah yeah they should throw
00:14:30
a box you're a shape you're a unique I want to hear more about this if you were a shape what shape would you
00:14:38
be oh I would be an F figure eight figure an infinity sign but a vertical infinity sign exactly what would you be
00:14:48
juice oh my God are really putting me on the spot here that's the whole show
00:14:55
I think I would be a heart you'd knock it out of the park you pretended like I don't know what I'm an
00:15:03
attempt of heart you knew I needed time to think yeah what would you be can't be
00:15:08
cross oh yeah that's a good shape that's a what shape are you you know what shape
00:15:13
I am I don't know just go ahead and say it fire is that a shape look at that fire Emoji yeah okay I
00:15:22
meant more traditional of like like a what could be a it could be a cookie cutter what could be a cookie cutter
00:15:27
something I'll take it I was giving you a free joke go ahead what is it gingerbread man
00:15:33
yeah gingerbread man oh that's a joke oh yeah come on I mean you know yeah what
00:15:36
else looks like I mean what am I it says whole brand it's my whole thing come on
00:15:41
yeah I don't see you as a redhead I am though I know but I don't see you as one
00:15:45
what do you see me as a best friend what a friend but a tall a friend a friend tall best friend you one
00:15:53
of my best friends a tall handsome comic yeah it was very talented come on why you make me blush no that's what I see
00:16:00
you I don't see the red look if you were black I'd probably kill you and eat you
00:16:04
right now you had to go there but you're not yeah I appreciate you saying that I
00:16:08
love you by the way but I have a dilemma oh so I was um girls it's a girl dilemma I
00:16:16
think you know about it what so I was on hinge oh you asked them on hinge or they
00:16:22
ask you is that yeah well I they they like me the girl likes you and then you get to respond I like you too got it so
00:16:29
I like this girl and there was a photo I don't want to get into it but there was
00:16:32
a photo of um you know the story she's doing something in the photo where I can go oh I can Google her
00:16:44
she's not in the business she has Fame but but you know the first photo something like that yeah second
00:16:52
one is like a musician right I put the the thing in the photo where I go she's
00:16:56
somebody musician put the name in and there was articles about her stabbing her boyfriend a mug shot oh is this the
00:17:03
woman that killed her boyfriend recently I don't know she didn't she didn't the
00:17:06
guy survived are you sure yeah because I read all the Articles through is it is it up to date uh yeah it's pretty up
00:17:12
today I think he died but I but she messaged me what did she say I'm down she goes no no you know she goes oh my
00:17:20
God I can't believe you're Bobby Lee whatever you know what I mean huh and
00:17:22
I'm thinking about why not I'll tell you why I'll tell you literally why not tell me why she
00:17:27
stabbed the last guy she was with I know but what did he do I'm not going to do
00:17:30
the same thing that's true right what if she finds new things to stab guys over
00:17:35
that's true yeah you could you could do something else I just feel like it's a
00:17:38
part of her behavior stabby culture yeah yeah and do you want to be under that but don't but don't you think that
00:17:44
that's like an extra like excitement in terms of like well like it's not today
00:17:48
no oh no will I get stabbed today yeah yeah when I wake up in the morning yeah the one thing I find relief in the fact
00:17:55
that the partner that I have and have lived with is that she won't [ __ ] stab me that's the number one thing on
00:18:02
my mind yeah you know what she ain't gonna stab me oh is that what it is yeah
00:18:06
yeah yeah yeah so let's get you with a girl who definitely will not stab you at
00:18:09
all and maybe really pretty give her a try you never know right yeah you got to give her a try right and if I hear
00:18:19
yeah baby baby what is that nothing she's not Asian creepy crawly skeletons but let me tell you something yeah
00:18:29
outside outside of that you're hinge or you're dating online has been great it's
00:18:33
been okay it's been great you've been calling me you're telling you know what
00:18:36
I noticed what did I say to you when you walked in The Comedy Store tonight what
00:18:38
did I say you look like you what unload you look like you've been unloading you
00:18:43
look like you're less tense you look like you've been having stuff come out
00:18:45
of you and you look like you're loose and light you were light on stage tonight you were real light it's a gravy
00:18:50
what oh your spunk is gravy it's like thick chunky right is it brown yeah oh
00:18:57
boy yeah we'd have to get that checked out I think the Biscuit's coming a biscuit kind so you have biscuit you
00:19:03
have sausage well you know like sometimes gravy and it has the chunks in it like sauces and stuff gravy on my
00:19:07
face it looks just like that sausage gravy on my face it's great and they said she has a chew on it what
00:19:14
yuck yeah and it's gross it's a cream corn by the way thick it's unusually
00:19:18
thick that's the honest fruit creamed corn yeah is that cream corn is that Bobby yeah that's a Bobby special yeah a
00:19:24
little bit of cream corn yeah does that make you gross well you're talking about
00:19:27
wanting to get more ladies and then you present this yeah but it's also oh no
00:19:32
she's right though it is yeah because here's the deal just because it's a
00:19:36
comedy show you could still fish for some for some pool then ask me again we'll do it as Elvis
00:19:42
that's better already Elvis what do you what do you find Elvis what kind of girl are you looking for
00:19:49
love me hey how you doing that was really good keep doing keep going do it again how you doing
00:19:57
well just saying what Love Me Tender Love Me Do bro you could legit be Asian Elvis dude
00:20:09
get my hopes up it was one of my dreams don't don't build the 100 serious right
00:20:13
now when we do bad friends live you have to come out as Asian Elvis yeah yeah how
00:20:17
are you doing every two shows give me another song When You Love Me Tender you have to say Rover oh yeah let me do it
00:20:23
again go ahead Asian Elvis go ahead rob me [Music] this is incredible give me another song
00:20:34
then uh uh uh uh Jailhouse Rock sing a little bit just do gents into the Jailhouse Rock
00:20:43
real good okay I can't help falling in love I Can't Help Falling in Love foreign
00:21:07
[Laughter] well I could do both it gives it a different level of like you know complexity I know yeah but stick to just
00:21:21
Asia all right [Music] you know what I've been on the road a lot and um I have I was in Hawaii and some other
00:21:32
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00:21:38
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00:22:05
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00:22:08
something exciting and new you know like Chinese you never eat that but it'd be
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00:22:49
end up on an island or the Alps or somewhere yeah and I'd be like what does it do this what am I doing I don't even
00:22:54
know what to do you have nothing going on yeah but now yeah I would just sit there in my hotel room but not confused
00:22:58
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fiator do it again wait it's is what are we doing suspicious yeah yeah we can't go on we
00:24:11
can't go on together Suspicious Minds we can't go on together ah still you still
00:24:17
go yeah you're right yeah you can't go on to get the yes it's suspicious
00:24:24
pretty good I took the Down Syndrome out this is so good it's so good right I'm
00:24:29
not kidding you think you're doing my own movie maybe or what live show I'm
00:24:33
writing one right now in my head right who would play um the kernel uh the guy from Doctor Strange yeah yo yeah yeah
00:24:40
yeah yeah yeah perfect oh my God and who would play um yeah who would it be um Aquafina Aquafina
00:24:50
I'll call her up do it it'll be great but what's the story is he does he is he
00:24:54
from Memphis or is he from Tokyo you know do you know there's a place called Memphis Japan oh yeah he's from
00:25:01
Memphis Japan for Japan yeah that's great yeah show him Memphis Japan and you're from Memphis Japan and what's
00:25:07
your story who found you the Snowman the what the Snowman the Snowman what does that mean I don't know again what
00:25:15
does that mean the car now the colonel oh they call them snowman my bad yeah look Memphis Japan has a festival by the
00:25:21
way well that's great so check this out you know how they say black uh Elvis
00:25:26
told music from black people in your version a black person found you in Memphis Japan and brought you back to
00:25:33
the United States yeah and can my character have a pet Godzilla how about this I fly on Mothra
00:25:45
I just feel like it needs to have that okay okay we're gonna check with somebody
00:25:50
hey everybody Elvis here right say hi to Mothra right and Mother's Day right that'd be cool right yeah
00:26:03
run that I get on the boat bye-bye and I just fly off to the top that'd be cool ending I do think it is
00:26:12
I will yeah I will but honestly I don't know if we're gonna get it financed we
00:26:17
might have to self-finance this one we gotta incorporate nagasak and Hiroshima a little bit oh interesting here's the
00:26:23
deal you grew up you grew up in one of those places right now each and Elvis grew up
00:26:29
in Nagasaki right and you got out because it's in the 60s right it's the
00:26:33
50s yeah well what because Elvis happened in the 50s right but the 40s is when it
00:26:39
happened right so it's 10 years after Nagasaki there's still radiation that's
00:26:45
why you don't still have Mothra in it you know what happened right a southern
00:26:48
guy was visiting Japan here we go he was in Nagasaki at the time the bomb goes coincidentally the
00:26:55
bomb goes off he was thrust into your body a little age a regular little Asian man who could sing on the streets who
00:27:00
would sing in Japanese you boom hit each other well you know how sometimes a guy
00:27:04
gets into an accident and he opens up a part of his brain that he never really had an age a Southern Man boom smashes
00:27:09
into a little Asian boy who is singing in the street could it'd be like more
00:27:12
like there's a southern guy there right I'm an Asian boy right that's exactly
00:27:16
what I've said I know but what you're saying is that our bodies Collide can it
00:27:19
be more like um his ghost goes into my mouth potato potato I feel like but they're like
00:27:29
oh maybe the bomb does that the ball I just all right I said the bomb all right and
00:27:35
then when he comes to he goes I'm All Shook Up my mother took up I'm all a shook up why do I teach you
00:27:45
how to do this oh you started teaching me I know I I just got to roll I just got the rum just for figuring it out
00:27:52
and then his leg starts dancing that the women are screaming because if they have radiation but they're really
00:28:06
screaming because of my legs don't worry no no your legs okay okay yeah right and then how do I right so
00:28:20
how do I Rise oh by the way what how do we know how do you rise the same no no check it out check it out all right I'm
00:28:27
checking it so who's Hank Williams who's the guy that he opened with in the
00:28:32
beginning oh I think yeah some Hank was was it Hank Williams it was something maybe it was maybe it was Hank Williams
00:28:37
I'm just trying to get you a party do I open up for you yeah but you're Japanese Hank Williams oh
00:28:50
very good give me any of his songs give me one song I don't know anything good
00:28:55
but so I open up for you but that's funny I think you should go always go oh
00:28:59
oh that's your thing before you say everything when I come out on stage ladies and gentlemen Hank Williams
00:29:04
but you're not hey I said Hank with a u hanku hanku luirium yeah yeah ready yeah ladies and
00:29:15
gentlemen yeah yeah and then go ahead do you have a Thomas hunting up for me can I come in I do a duet with you how
00:29:32
about this during Suspicious Minds I bring you back Upstate you got it right we harmonize yes harmonized suspicious
00:29:43
yeah one two three what's the line we can't go on all right one two three one
00:29:50
two three [Laughter] hold on all right okay wait let's get the car right where are you at we
00:30:30
[Laughter] [Music] we could do shirts maybe the pointers did The Pointer Sisters have anything to do with it you
00:31:13
got to go a little bit further back oh that really got it further back yeah you guys could be you guys could be uh
00:31:19
uh uh uh Billy Holiday oh why don't we do that very hard yeah by the way we're both still white guys
00:31:41
they've suddenly become black women yeah you're Barry Howard day and your era for
00:31:45
chiro yeah yeah all right so so you guys got to sing cheek to cheek this is this
00:31:50
is the scene where we meet them for the first time ah yeah right so they have to
00:31:53
do their role oh yeah yeah yeah yeah everybody this is oh right what's your name
00:32:02
very [Music] Fury we love your music we rob it thank you yeah Jules is jules's version of doing
00:32:22
it is just for putting her teeth on her on her lips because she's doing the buck tooth I get
00:32:29
it I love it you're doing the buck teeth buck teeth is great I love it look if
00:32:32
this doesn't get picked up by a record label I don't know what I don't know
00:32:35
what what else this is the movie yeah and then like you know uh Mothra will be in it
00:32:45
oh my God by the way yeah I wanted to tell you because I wanted to call you after I watch I watched the um the the
00:32:51
Vatican the little girl that gets kidnapped out of the Vatican what what don't say Vatican and just do that
00:32:58
I don't think I don't have to watch this there's a little girl that gets
00:33:00
kidnapped out of the Vatican there's a story that's on Netflix right now about
00:33:03
a little have you guys seen it Carlos have you seen it Emmanuel Orlando Emmanuela or 1960s no no she was born
00:33:11
she was kidnapped in 1983. and she was she went missing she walked outside of the walls of the Vatican and she went
00:33:17
completely missing this whole thing about how it's really inside the Vatican
00:33:21
actually had her kidnapped on the outside of the Vatican dude and what happened I can't die yeah you don't know
00:33:28
did they find her did that move dude oh my God stop stop stop what what what is that moving it's
00:33:39
it's [ __ ] fancy is that a trick that you're doing be real fancy that's George
00:33:50
wait that physical skeleton is George yeah oh okay oh wow that tree makes me feel a little bit better a little bit
00:33:55
better knowing he's gone that was really scary dude that actually scared the [ __ ]
00:33:59
out of me you scream no you know what we haven't done in a long time and we should do on the show now
00:34:05
what is tell our ghost stories which ones you got any new ghost stories by the way I don't have any new ones I got
00:34:10
one tell me I got a very new ghost story that just happened not too long ago [Laughter]
00:34:20
okay yeah you have to spit on it why why well I love sitting on George [Laughter]
00:34:31
when the Philippines used to spit on ghosts yep like that oh it works wait a minute
00:34:40
wait a minute you just spit on it you don't um to be prepared you just like when you
00:34:49
go in the forest you just spit everywhere so you before you go to a [ __ ] four off you
00:34:55
go are you ready you have to spit wait a minute yeah I got the spit you got are ghosts scared of spit I don't know this
00:35:01
is what my grandma told me yeah they're wrong wrong yeah wait do that crucifix
00:35:07
is good right uh holy water holy water yeah those are pretty good the Bible maybe Bible spitting I never heard of
00:35:15
that spit did your grandmother Chew Tobacco no no you must spit when you go to yeah and you say it a bit a bit what
00:35:23
is that ribbit ribbit is that communicating with a frog in Filipino means a way away and event wait but is
00:35:33
that how you do it does everybody do that or do you really spit um some people do but you can just
00:35:39
I was chokey wouldn't you chokey Pete's looked up there is literally nothing on the internet that validates
00:35:47
what you just said yeah your family is the only way in your family who does that no ever
00:35:53
the internet this is just just your family no there's no one else in your village no no oh
00:36:01
okay Filipino blood spitting ritual you guys are [ __ ] weird that's weird oh
00:36:06
there's our blood involved no that would make sense you have to cut your mouth
00:36:08
and then it makes more sense you just yeah there was literally nothing on the internet that says
00:36:16
anything about spitting at ghosts your family made this up told the whole village but it worked
00:36:23
nothing happened oh there's no go there was no ghost in the first place to be
00:36:27
valid for her yeah they were never you were never attacked by a ghost okay all the Filipino ghosts have wet
00:36:33
faces is that what it is yeah I can't write this they're all whipping and wiping is that a real thing
00:36:42
really yeah yeah would you do that to an American Ghost no I don't think what
00:36:46
would you do for an American like if a ghost entered your room at my house what would you do yeah you're sleeping in the
00:36:51
middle of the night Jules and American Ghost comes in um so what he's not you that's for sure yeah he's an
00:37:05
American citizen baby so what do you do um I don't know maybe just pray pray all right say the prayer praise a
00:37:15
good one go easy coming in okay here comes the American Ghost right now do you have a 401k
00:37:22
how's your retirement fun Lord have mercy I love Jesus Christ you've accepted him
00:37:32
as your lord and savior I can do I can I can do that Quinn the holy you don't know what it is
00:37:40
it's holy water holy water are you squirting on me yeah don't don't you
00:37:46
just go away no I love scoring I'm a [ __ ] oh yeah spit on me [ __ ] [Applause]
00:38:01
yeah a ghost is in your room right now really juicy well I don't believe in ghosts uh
00:38:07
but I'm here jet ski what do you know what will you do now I'm gonna turn on
00:38:13
and it's like that and turn the volume up really loud is that the guy from Magnum P.I
00:38:23
I love him didn't he once do a show about a Korean Elvis that never took off
00:38:30
but he was from Memphis Tokyo Japan the signal you know anyway you're pretty chill juicy
00:38:42
we're not acknowledging you but okay peace out wow she handled that really well uh how about you fancy ooh fancy
00:38:51
I've come to visit you in the middle of the night you're not gonna understand
00:38:55
anything I say so but look look I'm from ins fancy look at Fancy's neck like if
00:39:03
you didn't see his face it's a woman yeah I thought the exact same thing it's so funny so by the way
00:39:10
we haven't even introduced Carlos get up there we have the three witches in studio
00:39:14
tonight look at these babes wow and fancy I gotta tell you something everyone take the take your hat put it
00:39:23
above your face put it just in front of your face so we can't so the camera can't see your face just leave just your
00:39:27
neck just your neck Pete okay Pete let's rank Pete's neck let's rank next
00:39:34
yeah no Donald that's Rosie O'Donnell's neck right yes yeah yeah all right move to the side
00:39:43
real fast Carlos come block here block your face and put your gesture oh my oh my God it's like it's beautiful
00:39:49
it's a beautiful neck you know what it looks like what uh Gina Davis yeah Davis's neck beautiful all right and
00:39:56
then fancy keep it down in front of your face a little bit more dude that's like
00:39:59
um I'm not I'm not kidding I'm not kidding when I say that it's beautiful
00:40:01
it's stunning I would [ __ ] the net I would [ __ ] your neck fancy you know
00:40:05
whose neck you look like right now what thank you the girl the the the uh Evan Rachel Wood put your put it cover your
00:40:10
[ __ ] face that's Evan Rachel the girl that was in Queens Gambit what's her
00:40:13
name oh uh Taylor Joy yeah dad wait why why [Music] are parents that's not every I mean it's
00:40:29
everybody to you that whenever fancy tries a joke I get it and I like it but boy oh boys
00:40:36
are done bombs it bombs it hurts because I can hear his brain going say to them what like he thinks about it before see
00:40:47
the key is don't think about it before you say it say it look at this question
00:40:51
is look at this show yeah just say it don't think about it and if it doesn't
00:40:54
work it doesn't work you do have a beautiful little neck it's a beautiful
00:40:58
neck dude and and and and then can I just say something also because we went to the Philippines together yes your
00:41:04
hips oh he's got such cute your hips are [ __ ] sexy the cutest little hips you've ever seen you saw them in the
00:41:12
Philippines oh yeah because I was like we were shooting something from the car he saw it from
00:41:17
the car no I swear to God this is not even a [ __ ] joke dude I was sitting there you know I mean because we're
00:41:23
shooting and I looked to you right because I always see where you're at with your camera because he was filming
00:41:27
he was the director of the thing and I looked your side profile and you were doing this thing where you're doing a
00:41:32
shuffle I swear to God there was music played it was a shuffle and I just gravitated
00:41:38
there's a show going on yeah I'm gravity toward into his hip and I'm like
00:41:42
wow that's nice you you so so genuinely genuinely I got that you know his neck
00:41:48
and his hips if that if all the other parts were like you know what I mean legit his hips his
00:41:55
[ __ ] and his dick I think for [ __ ] but yeah yeah yeah that's nice my neck but it's pretty good
00:42:02
hips my teeth and my dick he has nice teeth yeah I gotta tell you don't don't
00:42:08
smile like that ever again I'm gonna lose the audience you imagine his school pictures
00:42:20
stop when you in Chicago yeah did you trick or treat yeah of course yeah did was there any
00:42:27
like because back when I was doing it you know we would like you know you would check for like would
00:42:32
you would you eat an apple no and you know the moment that I would see a house that was giving out apples
00:42:38
we would immediately go to someone's friend's house that we knew yeah grab
00:42:42
eggs and egg that house oh really without immediately yeah immediately the people that give out fruit yeah a Meg in
00:42:48
your house yeah and by the way kids out there I shouldn't you shouldn't be
00:42:52
watching the show a b yeah if someone gives you fruit or something like that yeah immediately uh go to the grocery
00:42:58
store and egg the [ __ ] out of their house by my house they gave up money Chinese Chinese no they were white
00:43:05
people big dimes they were oh dying yeah and I went back like 10 times yeah yeah I got a bug no but what did
00:43:14
your family give out so for some reason I feel like your your mom gave out good candy no we no no we turned the lights
00:43:20
off no my parents no we would they would I know you would pretend enough they don't
00:43:25
stay down like it was like it was a Stakeout no like we didn't want any Shadows or anyone to know that we were
00:43:32
their dad has a gun he's like here come on another one yeah everybody everything was off stay I
00:43:38
remember you go stay down stay down but did you trick-or-treat we would go and come home and still stay down no way
00:43:43
yeah and we I would bring back candy right he's like oh that's cool that's
00:43:46
cool you know what I mean eat but why because we have nothing really nothing is that why we don't have Halloween
00:43:57
no not at all I decorate you should I do wait wait first of all can I say something we talk today yeah right and
00:44:06
then you zoomed me you FaceTime me oh on accident did you really yeah because how
00:44:12
do you FaceTime somebody with your cheek it happens when you're talking on the
00:44:16
phone and then sometimes it does I've done it does yeah because the FaceTime
00:44:19
symbol is down there I've done it and then I don't know I then I facetimed her
00:44:22
you answered and then you wouldn't show me your house why it was in my bedroom
00:44:26
so but I I go let me look at your decor and she wouldn't do it it's my literally
00:44:31
my bedroom and you're like my boss that's a place that you're not allowed
00:44:34
is in her bedroom that seems like a fair boundary there was like cobwebs it look
00:44:38
like let me get to 10 episodes and then I'll show you around yeah oh 10 episodes
00:44:46
but but but also shame on you for not decorating your house do you decorate yours of course you do not
00:44:54
bet me a thousand dollars I already owe you a thousand you do owe me a [ __ ] a thousand dollars of
00:45:00
course I decorate why do I owe you a thousand uh fancy will pull it up yeah you lost the silver October yeah sober
00:45:07
October the porn the no nut yes I told you I did after you told me you're born though no I did not you
00:45:14
haven't since no yes since but if the BET's over okay yeah you lost of course
00:45:19
I did again yeah but he still wants to know yeah the moment that you told me it was done I am I think I brought a porn
00:45:25
on mine yeah yeah that night that we bet oh I know you did yeah I did it I could
00:45:30
tell you and I forgot I was like oh [ __ ] I think I lost as you're coming yeah
00:45:33
yeah Andrew yeah yeah of course I decorate my house you know what do you know why why because when I was a kid
00:45:39
and we go trick-or-treating and you'd go past houses that weren't decorated and
00:45:43
you knew those people in the neighborhood like I had seen them as a kid it bummed me out I'm like What's
00:45:48
your deal dude this isn't it's not for me I decorate for the kids okay here's
00:45:52
what we'll do it's for That We're Not Gonna Do any cobwebs or skeletons but
00:45:55
here's what we'll do we'll have candy we'll keep the lights on we'll get fancy
00:46:00
candy you need to let them decorations are a are a lighthouse a beacon for kids to
00:46:08
say we do have candy so what you have to do is you have to at least get one thing
00:46:11
that says we are Halloween come to the door otherwise they'll not they won't
00:46:15
come they won't come to the door unless there's something there that go like go
00:46:19
take this home and put this outside take some of this Halloween stuff that we have here and to decorate the house what
00:46:24
day is it Sunday yeah is that Sunday I'll do it when I have a week today today is Halloween oh
00:46:30
today is yes let's go to the CVS can we go to CVS and get it don't ask me ask
00:46:34
her let's go yeah it's your responsibility you should really do it let's do it yeah what about us not just
00:46:40
me but do something bro I know you're right I think the kids yeah you're right
00:46:44
for the kids you're absolutely upgraded for Halloween um in the Philippines we didn't oh you
00:46:50
gotta do it in the Philippines don't they kick a dog on Halloween what do you
00:46:53
guys do on Halloween again do they have Halloween in the Philippines some rich areas do yeah and then some know because
00:47:01
some areas are so poor in the poor areas they eat the wrappers of can like you go
00:47:06
get rappers in the rich areas they're passing up balloons yeah balloon they have balloon eggs it's also
00:47:15
um when's your birthday oh November 9th right oh it's gonna be my 21st oh let's get it wrong let's get
00:47:25
you shit-faced oh my God no we'll can we do that or I don't know we won that's I
00:47:31
don't know we so how drunk have you been in your life really drunk like passed
00:47:36
out like vomiting I don't want to hear that as one of your parents I don't want
00:47:39
to hear that no but if but if we did for your 21st we got you a little drunk that
00:47:43
would be that'll be fine she can get annihilatedly drunk when she's with us I
00:47:46
don't want her out in the I'll drive you oh I'll drive you I don't want you driving her I'm sober
00:47:55
she'll be you'll be texting she'll be drunk you'll die you'll both die what
00:48:00
let me drive ball oh you can drive all them thank you for some reason just because because you'll be looking at her
00:48:06
laughing yeah you're right so I need you you guys can be in the backseat together
00:48:09
you can be laughing at her and I'll be driving how was jeselneck oh so we we want to say that you know we
00:48:16
may we feel like we made Jessie juicy and now she's opening for other comedians I'll tell you what happened to
00:48:22
Anthony Joshua next show with her what [ __ ] Kanye West went there yeah Kanye West was at her show was that
00:48:28
just the weirdest part about the whole thing is the staff didn't tell us until
00:48:33
the next day wait so Kanye came to your show late night Friday we're not for Justin what
00:48:39
town for me no no for what time for what town this was an Oxnard in Oxnard yeah Oxnard
00:48:47
Oxnard and he came to the second show yeah saw it and then never said hi and left yeah we didn't know about it until
00:48:54
Saturday um the opener Kelly Ryan she went up to the sound guy to get a tape and he goes
00:49:01
yeah I got your tape by the way do you know Kanye was here yesterday wow and so she told us and so we were like why
00:49:08
wouldn't the staff tell us I don't like it when they tell is this made up would
00:49:11
you rather no or not no when it's Kanye I want to know do you think they would mention it no
00:49:16
when it's Kanye I'd want to know even when it's like sometimes they do at the
00:49:21
comedy show they're like you know who's here and they mention I'm like who I
00:49:23
don't [ __ ] give a [ __ ] all right but when it's Kanye I definitely want to
00:49:27
know because I want to go up to him be like brother brother what are the same views
00:49:33
but then he went on an interview and talked about how much he liked the show yeah he went on Lex Friedman show and
00:49:40
talked about loving Anthony jesimik and he mentioned it by name that's incredible it makes me sick why because
00:49:47
Anthony Jeselnik's Jewish yes no he's not he's not oh no no I'm just jealous that he went yeah but are
00:49:56
you well we were kind of like you don't want Kanye to see you yeah but you know he's on some
00:50:01
controversy is going on he's being a bad boy right now okay that's right but also
00:50:04
I want him to see me yeah that's right that's a huge name it's you that's the
00:50:08
biggest yeah who's like well when I remember what happened to me in Miami what with where I burned the bridge with
00:50:14
Gloria oh yeah that was cool yeah yeah yeah do you guys know this story no I don't know have we told this on this
00:50:19
show kind of tell it so I was at the Miami Improv don't make fun of me oh and
00:50:25
I I was in the green room and the [ __ ] manager goes you can't believe it was in the audience I go who he goes
00:50:31
Gloria Estefan I go I don't know nothing I don't know who that [ __ ] that you know
00:50:35
right I love the Miami mom machine was it a Miami Machine Miami Mama machine what's it called Miami what I don't know
00:50:42
what you're talking Gloria Estefan Miami something machines I thought you were saying mommy's I
00:50:51
don't know I never forgot that's how little I know he's like Korea Korea
00:50:58
he goes Gloria has to find Miami sorry glorious it's late Gloria Estefan Miami sound machines yes okay thank you
00:51:08
yeah right and I go oh yeah is she big he's like she's at the time like it was
00:51:13
15 years ago nobody's bigger no one's bigger right so I'm on stage and I don't know what
00:51:19
came over me I go I thought I was bombing and I go hey ladies and gentlemen big surprise
00:51:29
we have a big celebrity in the audience and they put a spotlight onto her and they go Gloria anabon
00:51:39
and she kind of does this weird wave and people are like right and after the set
00:51:44
she just got out of there yes yeah and I think about that moment pretty much once
00:51:50
a week for the rest of my life well you should because that's it's embarrassing
00:51:53
well did she pay for a ticket yes you did it'd be funny if she had a comp she was
00:51:58
like I had a comp yeah it was so bad it's fine it's in the past is she the
00:52:03
biggest person that's ever been to a show of yours um yeah he was in the OR ones but no I'm saying
00:52:17
who was who went to go see who's the biggest person just to see you yeah that's it Gloria
00:52:22
Esteban came to see you that's the only celebrity that's come to see me in any
00:52:25
show I've ever done that's why not wild you know who loves Gloria Esteban who
00:52:29
Gloria Stefan shut the [ __ ] up I'll say it how we want you [ __ ] immigrant uh
00:52:33
you know who's you know who you know who loves Gloria Esteban oh fancy do you
00:52:37
really love him it's a woman I love her 75 million records sold oh my God that's
00:52:44
more that's more than anybody that's more than anybody from your show it's so
00:52:47
embarrassing I've never had anybody huge come to my not one person Catherine
00:52:51
O'Hara that's you huge yeah oh my I would [ __ ] be so excited I lost my
00:52:57
mind do you guys know who that is yeah I'm a massive massive fan oh my God you're generated no she's on shit's
00:53:03
creek but oh I know her yeah but for us she's a legend for us yeah yeah so she was the mom at home
00:53:10
alone uh in Beetlejuice the reason that I fell in love with her was all was Christopher Guest yeah right like that's
00:53:16
how I first saw her yeah yeah and I did a mini roll on a Christopher Guest HBO show and someone at the Improv was like
00:53:26
I think Catherine Hera is here to see you no she was friends with Chris and I guess he had said you ought to see this
00:53:31
com this guy's funny you you know he's wow I don't even hang out with her oh oh
00:53:35
no oh yeah yeah but I went up I did my spot I went sat back down by the booth and she had she had left yeah after in
00:53:44
my getting off stage and left and I was like oh she gone and the guy was like yeah the moment you got off she left and
00:53:49
I was like bummed I was like that sucks and he was like dude she was laughing the whole all of the staff he's like
00:53:55
we're all looking at her she was laughing the whole [ __ ] time she was loving it wow but I never heard about it
00:54:00
at all it was as if like she talked to Christopher Guest and was like I'm gonna
00:54:04
go watch him and then and just enjoy it and that's it I kind of well I was on
00:54:08
mad we had Christopher Guest Eugene Levy and all those guys do like would they would guest star unreal so I'd be around
00:54:14
it but they would never talk to me well I'd be in the same room rehearsing the same lines but they would never say
00:54:20
anything to me and I was always so kind of like apprehensive you were still the oh hot dog guy
00:54:25
don't say it like that man oh hot dog don't say it like that dude no don't do
00:54:32
the uh no don't do the whole hot dog Jiff just look at the GIF itself it circulates through the internet at least
00:54:37
five times a day do you know how many times I see this GIF oh hot dog that's
00:54:41
you yeah that's Bobby Lee do you not realize you by the way you've probably been sent that gif yes that's
00:54:47
your that's your t-testine that's awesome you don't you don't know that
00:54:51
that's that's him God these young kids are [ __ ] idiots that's me can I tell
00:54:56
you something I've been looking at your hair the whole pod yeah you have the exact same yeah like you
00:55:02
already have good Elvis yeah like I hate it because it's so scratchy too I know for the whole time I
00:55:08
was like why you have better hair than Elvis had look at how beautiful let it out and let it roll yeah well do this in
00:55:12
slow-mo fancy let it out and let it roll baby oh oh take your time now let it roll
00:55:21
now let it roll give it to me we'll do it sexy yeah yeah yeah yes do it more do it more so we yeah
00:55:28
yeah more yeah more dude yeah like you just got out of a pool dude you just gotta so put in front
00:55:34
of your face like come out of the desk oh yeah come out from under the desk go down put your hair in front of your face
00:55:39
and then flip it backwards all right ready [Music] so you're a hot single you're a single
00:56:05
mother okay your single mother of three your reason why can I be a man no all right you're a hot single mother of
00:56:10
three you're recently divorced okay okay you got a [ __ ] load of money in the
00:56:14
divorce yeah he was [ __ ] his secretary typical story I don't I don't think let me [ __ ] finish
00:56:20
he's been [ __ ] his secretary right you're a hot mother single mother of
00:56:23
three now and you're a babe you don't find that yourself attractive anymore
00:56:25
but you are you really are you've been taking care of yourself a lot guess who
00:56:29
comes over who Pablo the pool boy huh played by who fancy Pablo the pool Boy comes on over
00:56:37
the pool boy comes over and he's a hot babe right okay Mega baby he's wearing a
00:56:41
little Speedo and you get out of the pool and you want to show off to him ready and go
00:56:47
[Music] you're so stupid I'm going to tell you something once I didn't even think about it I just felt
00:57:21
it I know I didn't think about it I'm never gonna say this again please turned on turn me on actually turn thank
00:57:29
you thank you actually got me got my britches a little tight yeah I just you know I just went with it
00:57:34
you're a good [ __ ] thank you I was just like listening but not I was feeling it what's what's a funny thing
00:57:40
that got said to you tonight about what did archiver say to you about your television appearances that made us
00:57:45
laugh really really hard yeah what do you say something offensive he made he made fun of One show and complimented
00:57:49
the other the exact same time he goes and just like that is terrible but I love you on reservation he goes and just
00:57:56
like that is a very bad show love reservation dogs yeah it was a perfect the way he did it was like it was
00:58:02
perfect yeah but let me tell you something yeah I think they're both great television
00:58:08
you're a great little thank you and you always have been not the old hot dog but if you leave me
00:58:13
again yeah and go to New York to shoot that [ __ ] show and I'm not here for
00:58:17
this yeah we're gonna have some trouble yeah we're gonna have a little Spanky Sachi well
00:58:22
I'll tell you something um I have to do three more episodes yeah [ __ ] off I do
00:58:28
and just like that and just like that you're leaving again yeah but we'll you
00:58:32
know but here's the thing I hadn't been home in a month and a half yeah right so I'm not gonna do that
00:58:37
again I I honestly like dude even doing the siguro shows first of all can I say something yeah
00:58:46
he's a huge star Tom yeah Tom Segura love him did you ever think that though
00:58:52
I knew interesting you guys didn't no it's just like because you see guys like
00:58:57
that's really interesting go to dinner right he'll go hey come do my show we'll hang out right
00:59:11
good friend right but then when I see him sell out San Jose Improv six shows in a row you're just gonna go oh yeah
00:59:17
he's fine he's famous yeah I think that when you're in a in a stadium
00:59:23
a thousand seats I opened for him and you're just going what the [ __ ] he's
00:59:28
huge it's crazy it's amazing it's amazing and when we go on the road how much do we do 100 250
00:59:35
seats great I think we'll do five thousand we're gonna do three to fives
00:59:41
three to five three we'll see what happens well three to five yeah some cities we're gonna do much much less
00:59:45
we're doing a run of the Deep South and in Alabama yeah we got a corporate I
00:59:52
shouldn't say this but I guess I can leak it we're doing a corporate I'm not
00:59:55
doing that no no I'm not doing it corporate it's not about why because when you do a
01:00:01
corporate so they go you can't show your dick you can't show you can't
01:00:05
they not say that you can't show your body part you can't say these things
01:00:10
yeah and I'm not gonna do that you have to dress like this sometimes they do
01:00:13
that you have to dress like this first of all yeah it's a company that we want to be in bed
01:00:19
with very bad what's it it's the KKK no oh yeah I would love to do it we're
01:00:23
doing the course yeah yeah you're in you're in you're opening and closing
01:00:28
yeah I mean you there's three Comics you're two of the white ones have to go yeah
01:00:33
you have to you can't just happen why do we sandwich him just so they forget
01:00:36
about it you go up first then him then me then you again so they get a double dose of white at the end or one in the
01:00:42
case for Korean yeah yeah yeah okay it's the coup the coup Korean Clan all right
01:00:48
yeah if it's the Korean Clan I mean by the way when we do go down to the South
01:00:53
I do want you to go to like where the KKK are and ask if you can get in yeah I think they would let me in what's
01:01:01
their process I don't know if it's more your thing but uh knock on a door thing
01:01:06
wait is there oh you're white you would know more I've never been they never let
01:01:09
me but is there a door that I knock on or do I just walk in I don't know I feel
01:01:13
like those people don't have knock knock knock knock knock hey oh hey man hey oh hey man hey man
01:01:19
hey what's going on what's up hey did somebody order Chinese food oh no that
01:01:25
was a funny joke man I don't think anybody ordered Chinese no no I'm not
01:01:28
not here to join the club KKK can I join did somebody have their dry cleaning done oh hey check it out bro
01:01:36
check it out who needs a robot me too go on they're so yellow they're sneaky tell me about it it's brighter
01:01:48
than the sun these people I know the aren't they not are they not brighter than the sun you don't like them I don't
01:01:53
like them either I don't like them either man yeah they put you know what they do they put the MSG don't you hear
01:01:58
it gives you a headache headache it cuts your headache and I wake up all puffy right they're porn so aggressive so
01:02:05
gross right right and the girl's crying why is the Japanese girl crying helpful helper
01:02:11
helper right I want to put a stop to that so you want to be in a cake yeah [ __ ]
01:02:18
karate [ __ ] Kung Fu [ __ ] whoa the gun we train Jiu Jitsu in this house oh I'm sorry juice is great
01:02:28
because it's Brazilian correct that's legit Brazilians were legit with you
01:02:33
know that's where Hitler hit out for a while I know Argentina whatever Brazil
01:02:36
same thing right I don't like it you know what else I don't like I don't oh
01:02:42
check it out right yeah and crazy Rich the squid games yeah yeah yeah I hate it we love that
01:02:52
series let me tell you yeah yeah why they all died that is great that's why that's
01:03:00
great that's why we like and you know what we'll find the one guy that survived can you find him and kill him
01:03:04
I'll be the guy and by the way crazy Rich Asians yeah we also enjoyed that movie why why Michelle yeoh was very
01:03:12
talented she's very talented be honest with you yeah directorial choices were
01:03:15
very wonderful yeah I will compliment the DP yeah yeah I saw some racking shots that I was
01:03:23
impressive by but when they when they would pull Focus yeah on some of those scenes it was better than I thought yeah
01:03:29
anyway um let me ask you something I'm Bobby I'm a comedian too Bobby yeah yeah
01:03:34
Bobby Ray you can call me that what's your name I'll change it Bobby Ray
01:03:38
you're a comic I'm a comedian tell me a joke funny man what did the Korea say to the other
01:03:46
Koreans go on let's kill ourselves together emergency is that funny right I love it
01:03:54
when Asians too much suicide hilarious absolutely hilarious that joke went flat I haven't tried it yet try again
01:04:02
please you want to get in yeah tell me another a black a Korean in a Jew my nightmare
01:04:11
right [Laughter] in the 1940s oh [ __ ] dog right yeah and and the [ __ ] bar turn goes
01:04:30
welcome that's my German accent okay yeah okay I'm not an impressed you said you were a comedian right
01:04:43
you know what I can do yeah oh hot dog [Applause] okay all right man I'll do whatever job
01:05:09
okay okay you're in and you only have to do one thing what do I need to do man
01:05:14
give me a big kiss we're not gay you got to give me a big kiss tongue oh yeah
01:05:23
all right you do it yeah you gotta say daddy daddy you're my daddy okay let's say like a little Asian boy again
01:05:35
I have a script I want to look at you what is it Asian Elvis have are you combining too much there's
01:05:45
a roll of hanku there's a rule you wanna let me play Hank Williams classic yeah the Asian Elvis from
01:05:54
Memphis Japan yeah you've always wanted to fly a Mothra please yeah thank you for being a bad friend
01:06:04
very good [Music] [Applause] [Music] this is [Music] [Applause] a large hoodie foreign
01:06:35
[Music] [Applause] [Applause] [Music]

Badges

This episode stands out for the following:

  • 70
    Most unserious (in a good way)
  • 60
    Funniest
  • 60
    Best performance

Episode Highlights

  • Welcome to Bad Friends Halloween Episode
    The hosts kick off a Halloween-themed episode with humor and spooky vibes.
    “Welcome to the Spooktacular well Friends”
    @ 00m 16s
    October 31, 2022
  • A Darkly Humorous Discussion
    The conversation takes a turn towards dark humor as they discuss Jeffrey Dahmer.
    “Jeffrey Dahmer is one of his victims”
    @ 00m 50s
    October 31, 2022
  • Dating Dilemmas
    Bobby shares a story about a girl he matched with on Hinge who has a violent past.
    “She stabbed the last guy she was with.”
    @ 17m 24s
    October 31, 2022
  • DoorDash Delivery
    Get your groceries and meals delivered right to your door with DoorDash!
    “What do you want to eat tonight?”
    @ 22m 00s
    October 31, 2022
  • Viator Travel Experiences
    Explore the world with Viator, the leading travel experience marketplace!
    “Viator has got you covered!”
    @ 23m 34s
    October 31, 2022
  • Filipino Ghost Stories
    A humorous discussion about ghost stories and Filipino rituals.
    “You just spit on it!”
    @ 34m 26s
    October 31, 2022
  • Halloween Decorations Debate
    A lively discussion about the importance of Halloween decorations for kids.
    “I decorate for the kids.”
    @ 45m 48s
    October 31, 2022
  • Kanye West's Surprise Appearance
    Kanye West attended a comedy show without the staff informing the comedians.
    “Wait, so Kanye came to your show?”
    @ 48m 37s
    October 31, 2022
  • Celebrity Encounters
    A comedian reflects on the time Gloria Estefan attended their show.
    “She just got out of there.”
    @ 51m 44s
    October 31, 2022
  • TV Show Critique
    A humorous exchange about the quality of TV shows and personal appearances.
    “I think they’re both great television.”
    @ 58m 04s
    October 31, 2022
  • KKK Membership Inquiry
    A comedic discussion about the KKK and how to join.
    “Is there a door that I knock on?”
    @ 01h 01m 01s
    October 31, 2022
  • Dark Humor in Comedy
    Exploring the boundaries of humor, one joke at a time.
    “When Asians too much suicide hilarious.”
    @ 01h 03m 54s
    October 31, 2022

Episode Quotes

  • I think he really loved black guys.
    Korean Elvis & Andrew Dahmer | Ep 140 | Bad Friends
  • I just feel like it’s a part of her behavior, stabby culture.
    Korean Elvis & Andrew Dahmer | Ep 140 | Bad Friends
  • I don’t know if we’re gonna get it financed.
    Korean Elvis & Andrew Dahmer | Ep 140 | Bad Friends
  • I don’t believe in ghosts.
    Korean Elvis & Andrew Dahmer | Ep 140 | Bad Friends
  • I want him to see me.
    Korean Elvis & Andrew Dahmer | Ep 140 | Bad Friends
  • I don’t know if it’s more your thing.
    Korean Elvis & Andrew Dahmer | Ep 140 | Bad Friends

Key Moments

  • Dark Humor00:50
  • Dating Dilemma16:10
  • DoorDash Convenience21:32
  • Halloween Memories42:20
  • Halloween Talk45:48
  • Kanye Surprise48:37
  • Celebrity Encounter51:44
  • Dark Joke Setup1:03:44

Tension Over Time

Words per Minute Over Time

Vibes Breakdown