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Chilly Chill and Mr. Hollywood | Ep 78 | Bad Friends

August 16, 2021 / 01:38:42

This episode features a humorous discussion about social media clout, friendship dynamics, and personal anecdotes. Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino engage in banter about their careers, Instagram followers, and past experiences in Hollywood.

Bobby expresses frustration over his friend Andres taking his social media clout, while Andrew humorously defends his own online presence. They discuss their respective follower counts and the importance of social media recognition.

The conversation shifts to personal stories, including Bobby's experiences on set and his comedic mishaps. They reflect on their pasts, including awkward interactions with celebrities and the challenges of being in the entertainment industry.

Throughout the episode, the hosts share laughs over their failures and successes, while also poking fun at each other. They touch on the absurdities of fame and the pressures that come with it.

The episode concludes with a light-hearted debate about who is more Hollywood, with various guests chiming in to offer their opinions.

TL;DR

Bobby and Andrew humorously discuss social media clout, friendship, and Hollywood experiences while debating who is more Hollywood.

Episode

1:38:42

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what's going on here

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i can read things man what's going on

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here

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um well what's happening is uh

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you're not we're not gonna put this out

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is andres abandoned us so everybody

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needs to go to george underscore kimmel

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and follow me on instagram

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because

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andres he's a he's a clout thief

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everybody knows he's a cloud thief

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that's my clout that he's taking

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i've slaved away for six years to build

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up that clout

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i've slaved away for you for over nine

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years but you know

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and uh andres just

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made you bro yeah

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i've made you bro yeah that's true um i

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slaved a way to help

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i know we helped each other but i'm just

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saying without me there is no you

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without me there's a 75 percent you have

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oh

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that's online that's fine 75 that

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doesn't hurt

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you think you think he's do you think

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you think you think you think 25 of you

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is because of him online you online you

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not the not anything else

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that's a quarter of your yeah

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on the internet he thinks he built

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i found those fans you're the one that

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told people not to follow him is this

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his defense right now yeah this is

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defensive well what do you want to do

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you want to tell the fans to not follow

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him still

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well i told i told um the fans that we

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want to bring his [ __ ] followers to a

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thousand how many are you at right now

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um i went up to like 17 18.

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what is what's fancy at

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uh he's at 20's

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27 now i think that

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he had he does not deserve any of those

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he deserves 2 000 followers he didn't

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even know what instagram was when

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instagram you know

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when instagram came out andres thought

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it was a filter app you never know other

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people ever seen the photos you're never

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going to he did not even know people

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could see the photos and now he has more

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followers than me i have to take a shot

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how does that i think how does that

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[Laughter]

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you two are bad friends who are these

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two idiots

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white dude i'm an asian dude

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you two are disgusting

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oh you two or something we're bad

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friends

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what's that for my tito cheeto tour

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shirts

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guys is this

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you're just blowing up huh the uh the

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i'm the t-shirts i'm selling on sale i'm

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just selling my image on the road but

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you're there you're doing projects with

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other people you're i'm not doing

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projects with anybody else hollywood

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stuff and you're leaving me in the dust

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huh you went to you're going to hawaii

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again you went to new york again you

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keep going ever you're jet setting i'm

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staying in la

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begging for work

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please please no no you're bro please

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currently

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on a show as a regular a show it's over

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but are you not a regular on a show yeah

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but who knows if it ever comes on a

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regular on no show dog who knows if it

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ever comes back i do two lines here oh

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mr meester you want me to carry the

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laundry

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yeah those are the kind of parts i get

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first of all you need to turn the light

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off is that what you do in magnum pi

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yeah is that your role

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magnum

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i drive your car

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thanks a lot wang here's the keys and

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sometimes i i like uh hold on to the car

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and go

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like that what's the name of your

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character on the show ching chong is it

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ching chong plural oh

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there's multiple of you yeah i'm like

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five ching chong than one it's like the

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olsen twins they had to get two yeah so

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one of you gets tired yeah the [ __ ] that

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i do when i was in hungary

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when you were when you were in hungary

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shooting a massive kevin hart movie bro

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grow up i wasn't in the movie i lied

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i was eli roth's shoeshine boy were you

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yeah shine him up boy like because he

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needs to wear every between every setup

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when he's setting up the camera he needs

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new shoes he you recycle shoes and i'm

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scrubbing and he says do the accent

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i started me wrong

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right

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wrong

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right do you really do that for yeah man

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you think i'm blowing up dude you're

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blowing up i got

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when i was in new york yeah what were

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you doing in new york bob i'll tell you

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what i was doing yeah let me know

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streets cleanings

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street cleaning yeah with a machine or

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by yourself by myself just with your

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hands jeans broke

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all the street cleaners bro yeah and

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they go use your face

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but i i go

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but i have do the accent bought a hab

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right you have to do an accent yeah and

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then i they go um

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i have to dust

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right use your [ __ ] [ __ ] face oh my

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god they say that right so i'm like

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why would they ask your face like i'm

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like a rickshaw oh you rick there's some

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guys

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pulling me like a rickshaw i'm like

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[ __ ] it

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hey why do they say use your face is it

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because it's

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that

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exactly because it's flat

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so what i'm saying to you is that all

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these things that i've been doing yeah

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are all lies so you've been lying to me

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about all the work you've been doing i

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apologize it came it's so weird it came

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out this way because it feels like

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you're doing hollywood stuff i'm not

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doing hollywood stuff i'm not doing

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anything

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my [ __ ] but the tv show is in its last

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and final week but you got another thing

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with another guy i do i'm developing a

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thing with another man a pretty big guy

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will you ask him this too

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ask that guy yeah if he has a problem

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with me

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i'll text him right now because yeah

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text him right now honestly well he's

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not going to text back right now yeah

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just find out yeah if bobby thinks that

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you have a problem with him why do you

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why do you have an issue because when he

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was a young kid

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this is 15 years ago wait you know him

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from that that many years i know when he

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started yeah

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he used to have these the best parties

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of all time

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how like house parties what the house

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parties you mean yeah yeah yeah i'm done

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and what did you do it i sent it all

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right people by the way

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was on his phone only when he asked me

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so um he said

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and then we like every year or two twice

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a year i would go to his party and i

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would do i'm the dancer well yeah at

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every party i'm the dancer yeah

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you know i mean i just get into it you

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just have a stroke

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no no but i get my shoulders into it oh

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you're that kind of guy yeah i i you

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know i do the noise

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you know and the music goes right and

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everyone there's always a see that

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there's a crowd no they part oh for you

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yeah like a moses oh wow right and think

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moses moses

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moses moses they don't do the accident

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they don't do that with that i don't

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know why they right so they do the part

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and i do the you know what like back it

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when they did

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solid gold

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yeah i remember that yeah of course yeah

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back back and get it done doing it right

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and i do that and i go down the [ __ ]

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with the sea of people

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do it again i i turn around pop pop do

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it again make it why are you pinching

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your tits what does that have to do with

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it why are you do you pinch your hat

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when you dance breath on when i do it oh

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you have big fat tissue yeah i'm a woman

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oh

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yeah and then um so he used to have

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these parties and and then when he blew

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up

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it was just an i got nothing from him

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like he never texted you or called you

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again yeah

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that's just because people get busy i

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know i do you think so well also how

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okay other than me for real who else do

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you actually text other than me who do

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you really text with the kalila doesn't

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count she doesn't count george doesn't

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count eric griffin sometimes okay well

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let's look at my text now yeah let's

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find out who else your phone's up there

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by your squeezer who else do you text in

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real life all right so um

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let's look at my phone how about this

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when was the last time you sent a

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genuine what's going on like hey what's

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up text so this is juliana oh that's her

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it doesn't count but i go let's go

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doesn't count

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so my mom doesn't count why it's not

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it's not like a friend that's like a

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family or work because my friend jean my

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friend janina

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who are those people janina was the

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actress i was in hungary with i shined

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your shoes too you shined her shoe

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yeah yeah yeah who's gene

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gene is uh

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a producer on matt magnum pi okay who's

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my friend oh right

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um ari shafir what did you say to him

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he's just like let's have lunch next

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time never going to happen

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why because you don't like jewish people

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you've said that before on the show i i

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like i like jewish people when they look

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a certain way

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if they look like liam neeson i'm in but

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r is your fear yeah you don't like him

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when they look um when they look like

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ari no it already looks like if you drew

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a cartoon of a jewish person

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like everything's exaggerated and long

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yeah yeah yeah no text back

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i know sorry yeah sorry i know i told

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you that's okay i don't care it's okay

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but um so yeah i text people what was

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the question oh yeah so so you don't

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you never really send out hey what's up

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how are you text you don't do that you

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never do

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and you complain when i text you

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unless

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unless what

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unless it's like you gonna you're gonna

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get something out of it

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then you don't say anything

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what do you mean get something out of

00:08:52

that you know exactly you said on the

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episode last week you were a weasel or a

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rat or what what did you say yeah yeah

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paulie short i like you bobby

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oh god yeah yeah so i have some friends

00:09:04

all right anyway

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let's get back to the matter at hand

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which is why we are excited to announce

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george has been shut down on instagram

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he's plummeting to the bottom of the

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grandmother look at this 18 000

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followers boob he was above 20. weren't

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you above 20 george dude i know

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boys with more followers 100 we do what

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is it what what how many were you at

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i was at 21 and now it's down to 18.

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um but i

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i mostly met at andres for being such a

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clout thief but a little bit mad at bob

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do you think he's a clown bobby you're

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mad at me about what

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i gave you a job dog oh

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no this is purely about instagram bobby

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yeah it's not nothing absolutely

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followers yeah but you know what it

00:09:47

means a lot to him and you know it does

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i know it does it means it means

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something else because he put his he put

00:09:52

his baby up look at that stupid picture

00:09:54

with this baby and and a tiger belly can

00:09:56

i also say i'll tell you another thing

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that he does that's i know for a fact

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salt mines of cloud i'm in the assault

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you're done talking now producer

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this is what he does and it's so gross

00:10:07

give it

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so if we have a local shows like if i'm

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playing the brea improv or irvine or

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like even if like annie letterman is

00:10:14

doing great or like whatever if there's

00:10:17

an event right a stand-up event let me

00:10:18

guess

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go ahead it's so gross go ahead

00:10:22

he asks for does he ask for tickets for

00:10:24

other people that you've never met

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before no it's worse what

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he goes and hangs out in the lobby

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to fish for recognition

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george

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that's yucky literally i'm not kidding

00:10:43

you i've seen it dude george you wait in

00:10:45

the hallway to try to see if fans are

00:10:46

going to recognize you and they do right

00:10:48

and then he that feeling that feeds his

00:10:50

ego it feeds his ego and he's addicted

00:10:52

to it and he like does selfies and

00:10:54

whatnot right george do you do this

00:10:57

well i get stuck in the lobby when

00:10:59

people see me stuck in the lobby you

00:11:01

come into the back of the green room

00:11:02

you're even there there's no purpose

00:11:04

we're not filming it we're not recording

00:11:05

it i just wanted to go and then like so

00:11:07

many people came up to me to see me

00:11:10

that

00:11:11

i got stuck yeah yeah george you're

00:11:12

allowed to be in the green room with us

00:11:14

and you know you can go to the back he

00:11:15

doesn't you go to the lobby on purpose

00:11:16

yeah don't you know what he does too

00:11:19

he'll like be in the showroom

00:11:21

and fake take photos or like fake work

00:11:24

oh right right so that people look at

00:11:26

him

00:11:27

right so he'll get on his knees and like

00:11:29

do a shot

00:11:30

line up a shot dude

00:11:32

and then people go hey bro

00:11:34

you know those hispanics at the show oh

00:11:36

hey what's up

00:11:38

there he is right there yeah yeah and he

00:11:41

feeds on it and he loves it it like

00:11:43

warms the soul

00:11:44

it's it's sad it is george why do you

00:11:46

think what do you need in the world that

00:11:48

you have got a beautiful wife a

00:11:49

wonderful baby why do you need this

00:11:52

attention attraction from the pod fans

00:11:55

no i'm just i'm just envisioning what it

00:11:56

would be like to shoot something there

00:11:58

so sometimes i get lost in my own rocks

00:12:00

you're gonna go back and enjoy you're

00:12:01

gonna shoot a sketch at the comedy club

00:12:03

george

00:12:04

can i ask you a real serious question

00:12:06

and let's be real for once i know in

00:12:08

podcasts we [ __ ] around and this and

00:12:10

that yeah and that's all for show i want

00:12:12

to ask you a real legitimate question

00:12:14

and we'll edit it out if you know i mean

00:12:16

we're not too real i know we're not yeah

00:12:19

but be honest for once in your life and

00:12:21

your life depends on it

00:12:23

does it feel good

00:12:26

to get recognized people from people

00:12:29

oh yeah i was recognized just at the

00:12:31

panda express the other day

00:12:34

uh the guy even waited outside the panda

00:12:36

express to take a photo with you to god

00:12:38

yes what did the guy say to you at the

00:12:39

panda express uh he said he's been a fan

00:12:41

uh since uh

00:12:44

shoot since bo uh since when bobby was

00:12:45

on jk news

00:12:46

wow and he's followed the all the all of

00:12:48

the podcasts but did he say he was a fan

00:12:50

of yours

00:12:52

he took a photo with me

00:12:55

yeah because

00:12:56

he can't get to the real thing it's one

00:12:57

degree of separation right all right

00:13:00

it's like when people take you know if

00:13:02

you go to so he's going to photoshop

00:13:03

your head on george's body right look i

00:13:06

met bobby

00:13:07

bobby kimmel at the or when people go to

00:13:10

like buckingham palace they want to take

00:13:12

a photo with the queen but they can't

00:13:14

but they can't so they take a photo with

00:13:16

the soldier

00:13:16

[Laughter]

00:13:18

you know that's what you are george the

00:13:19

guy with the you're the guard

00:13:21

puffy yeah by the way the next time you

00:13:23

take photos you're gonna have to be our

00:13:24

soldier guard you cannot smile and you

00:13:26

cannot you cannot make any emotion just

00:13:27

like the soldiers do you're not allowed

00:13:29

to smile or talk you just stand there

00:13:30

stoically fine uh but do i get to be in

00:13:32

the photos yeah but you have to stand up

00:13:35

absolutely that'll be the new thing i

00:13:36

want to see fan photos with george

00:13:38

stoically stan yeah so this dude you

00:13:40

know it's like and it's because at in

00:13:42

reality you know

00:13:45

he would never get this kind of

00:13:46

attention otherwise i'm going to say

00:13:49

something very

00:13:51

mean go for it

00:13:53

no i can tell you why i don't want to

00:13:56

let's let it out i i want to see it but

00:13:58

i feel like it's going to turn into a

00:13:59

cancer

00:14:04

yeah if you let it sit it gets worse the

00:14:05

kind of attention

00:14:07

that he is getting

00:14:08

would never be based on his skill set

00:14:13

yikes

00:14:14

did you feel that george

00:14:17

no because it's not real yeah yeah oh he

00:14:19

says no it's not real

00:14:20

right so you think that if you weren't

00:14:23

the producer of tiger belly or bad

00:14:25

friends or any of these podcasts and

00:14:27

stuff that you would be able to gain

00:14:29

notoriety on your own skill set

00:14:32

i'd be producing something else that was

00:14:33

also great oh interesting and that's why

00:14:36

i like it that's interesting can i say

00:14:38

something george confident i was being

00:14:40

mean

00:14:40

right

00:14:41

jokingly mean

00:14:43

but by you saying that right now i

00:14:45

believe you do you believe them i don't

00:14:48

i don't either

00:14:49

i don't i don't

00:14:51

i don't i was just trying to i don't

00:14:52

know i'm working at cvs cvs i i i can't

00:14:55

and when i say working on tv it's not

00:14:56

one of the good jobs i i i know what job

00:14:57

you would do night crew with the carpet

00:14:59

cleaner no even worse even worse

00:15:01

you know how sometimes you go to like

00:15:03

the toothbrush section or you go to the

00:15:06

aspirin section hit the button not the

00:15:07

button but you have to have the guy open

00:15:09

up something right yeah right right roll

00:15:11

gate so he's the guy with the key yeah

00:15:13

and he opens up here's your guerrilla

00:15:15

game he's a keyboard he's keyboard

00:15:16

keyboard you'll be the keyboard at cvx

00:15:18

your new name is keyboy by the way key

00:15:19

kid yeah although the cvs i have to say

00:15:22

george you are very skilled and talented

00:15:24

we like you you're going to do perfectly

00:15:25

fine in this career when we fire you in

00:15:27

a week

00:15:29

we should just fire him just to see how

00:15:30

he how he lands yeah what do you think

00:15:32

about george ruid rude i'll be honest

00:15:34

though rudy i like george

00:15:37

but you don't like pete or andres

00:15:40

george

00:15:41

okay

00:15:43

give the order from number one two and

00:15:45

three okay okay

00:15:46

who and you can't be even you know it's

00:15:49

not even

00:15:50

so let's go third third places last

00:15:53

place is the one that you

00:15:54

like the least and this is not because

00:15:56

no i like him but not as much as the all

00:16:00

right so let's go number three two who's

00:16:03

three who's three

00:16:06

come on

00:16:12

george

00:16:13

george be honest andreas damn you like

00:16:16

george damn what is it though it's

00:16:19

because he panders and does whatever you

00:16:20

say and he doesn't ever create any

00:16:22

conflict no i think i have known him in

00:16:25

him longer she has loyalty about how

00:16:27

long she's known but george is just a

00:16:28

white piece of [ __ ] don't you like

00:16:30

andres he's a foreigner he like you he's

00:16:32

a foreigner just like you he's an

00:16:34

immigrant like you i was gonna say equal

00:16:36

no no no

00:16:38

you went for george you you went for a

00:16:40

white and look at him by the way that's

00:16:42

like hitler's wet dream this blonde

00:16:44

blue-eyed i mean this is the cause of

00:16:46

all the issues in america is got a guy

00:16:48

like george a white privileged upper

00:16:51

middle class never picked up anything

00:16:53

heavy in his life

00:16:54

this is the problem in the united states

00:16:56

rudy and you like this guy i'm going to

00:16:58

say something if hitler

00:17:00

was let's say you know those

00:17:02

hacky he would have loved george you

00:17:04

know those have been a pretty great guy

00:17:05

george

00:17:06

i like i like so many things about him

00:17:08

he would love george no you know those

00:17:10

hacky scenes that they have where you

00:17:12

know it's always about a nerd and in

00:17:14

school where they're picking a baseball

00:17:16

team of course and they pick the last

00:17:17

the nerd sometimes that's the guy 100 i

00:17:19

think hitler would pick him last you two

00:17:22

yeah so like there's let's say there's a

00:17:24

hundred people right yeah and uh is

00:17:27

choosing like a kickball team yeah how

00:17:28

about this he needs a hundred people

00:17:30

right and there's a hundred and one

00:17:32

people guys you're gonna be on the right

00:17:34

right to choose and it'll go down to

00:17:37

right george

00:17:39

and some guy scolios some scoliosis guy

00:17:42

you're eating you could barely stand up

00:17:44

right yeah and he spends 20 minutes on

00:17:46

it he's like listen both of you offer

00:17:48

kind of the same thing

00:17:50

a high level of unathletic ability that

00:17:53

i just can't decide which of you is the

00:17:55

worst

00:17:56

i guess i'll go with scoliosis boy

00:17:58

oh and he's like the joy and scoliosis

00:18:00

is like thanks hitler no though didn't

00:18:03

school this guy he dies right on the

00:18:05

walk oh and then he's like okay yeah no

00:18:08

no hitler's like i guess 99 is good for

00:18:10

me

00:18:11

i don't needs a hundred yeah yeah it's

00:18:13

funny george you know what you love you

00:18:14

jewelry we love you to death inside and

00:18:16

out and and you know what should we

00:18:17

reverse this following because the fans

00:18:19

are

00:18:20

no no we gotta get them down to a

00:18:22

thousand through we gotta follow so guys

00:18:23

let's get george down to a thousand

00:18:24

please unfollow him rapidly rapidly

00:18:26

right now in fact you know what what if

00:18:28

you've liked any of his photos go ahead

00:18:30

and unlike his photo please

00:18:32

click the heart and unlike it i'm going

00:18:34

to try something mean turn it black i'll

00:18:36

try something mean yeah this is george

00:18:38

george

00:18:39

yeah we'll get we'll get you followers

00:18:41

right now but what are you going to do

00:18:43

for us oh my god

00:18:45

what do you mean bobby

00:18:47

i'm here now so fancy is not oh

00:18:50

oh you're trying to say that that's true

00:18:52

and you know what he has the ability to

00:18:53

fire fancy beyond our behind our backs

00:18:55

he could he really could yeah because

00:18:58

he's stomped in here with a little bit

00:18:59

of confidence george can you show your

00:19:00

camera down there that you're wearing um

00:19:02

a snakeskin cowboy boots do you see this

00:19:04

he's wearing snakeskin cowboy boots

00:19:05

today oh yeah

00:19:06

is it real snakeskin it is you sure is

00:19:09

it real snakeskin george it's alligator

00:19:11

skin yeah alligators

00:19:13

what country made the shoe

00:19:15

uh i think they're made in mexico

00:19:17

the philippines

00:19:18

i think so are there alligators in the

00:19:20

philippines jewels gotta be yeah what do

00:19:22

you mean

00:19:23

they eat people all the time where i see

00:19:25

them in the zoo

00:19:30

you're gonna go to college

00:19:33

george yeah

00:19:34

get into google okay i want you to i

00:19:37

want you to google how many people are

00:19:39

are killed by alligators in the

00:19:40

philippines a year i bet you it's gonna

00:19:42

surprise you

00:19:44

can i make a guess yeah let's both guess

00:19:46

two

00:19:48

seven a year seven a year seven two two

00:19:51

seven seven how many people he'll give

00:19:52

about alligators a year

00:19:54

uh does crocodiles count as well yes

00:19:56

okay

00:19:57

um

00:19:58

ten ten two seven and ten i'm telling

00:20:01

the zoo some zookeeper no dude this is

00:20:03

in the wild there's alligators there

00:20:04

let's see let's see

00:20:07

crocodile attack

00:20:10

br look at that brazen crocodile praise

00:20:11

on a philippine town

00:20:13

yeah but

00:20:14

that doesn't necessarily mean anyone

00:20:15

died well go well that was it's not even

00:20:18

it's not even google oval crocodile

00:20:20

crocodile des in philippines there it is

00:20:22

he's got it down

00:20:26

well

00:20:28

well

00:20:28

oh philippine boy eaten by crocodile in

00:20:30

latest attack

00:20:32

there's one i guess it doesn't happen

00:20:33

that often

00:20:35

twelve-year-old girl survives a

00:20:36

crocodile attack and if you're alive

00:20:38

uh that's two in 2019 then okay two in

00:20:40

2019 crocodile kills high school student

00:20:42

in palawan is paloman in the philippines

00:20:44

yeah okay there's three 2019 20 19 19.

00:20:47

so not same that's a different year

00:20:48

different year no these are all 2019 no

00:20:50

they're not yes george are they all 2019

00:20:52

uh yeah all three of those were 2019.

00:20:54

look at that crocodile each 10 year old

00:20:55

boy alive in front of a siblings

00:20:57

2019 that's four so far

00:21:00

oh [ __ ] go to page two this is good this

00:21:02

is good so you're already out but jules

00:21:04

and i are still in yeah i'm out

00:21:06

go to page two baby boy

00:21:07

crocodile died in the philippines huge

00:21:08

saltwater croc ladies what kills

00:21:10

fishermen in latest attack

00:21:12

what year 2019 that's four five that's

00:21:15

five yeah uh boy eaten by saltwater

00:21:17

crocodile latest philippines attack

00:21:19

six it's the same kid that you're

00:21:21

[ __ ] reading over no

00:21:23

no articles but they're all the same

00:21:26

guy

00:21:27

i think there's only two so far no

00:21:28

that's not true they're the same kid

00:21:30

george are you taking note of this how

00:21:32

many people are dying by the hands of

00:21:33

crocodiles uh i lost count because it

00:21:35

was so many all right let's call it

00:21:36

seven and i won very good

00:21:39

yeah

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00:23:06

hello you got that swamp ass this summer

00:23:09

yeah can i just say something i i went

00:23:11

to the bathroom between breaks yeah you

00:23:12

sure did and i took a poopy right

00:23:15

and i i remember using the hello tushie

00:23:17

in there and because i have i have a

00:23:19

hello tissue at home yeah right and i

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just it's like a ref it's like if god

00:23:25

peed in your butt like really yeah i

00:23:28

don't know if that's their campaign but

00:23:29

i know but you imagine the lord himself

00:23:31

cleaning your butthole i say it's i say

00:23:33

it's angel i say it's angels spitting

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water yeah or it's like atlantis

00:23:39

you know it's like you're in atlantis

00:23:40

getting your ass in the lost city of

00:23:41

atlantis yeah hello she's incredible

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it's uh the 3.0 clean soggy butt's like

00:23:45

a champ it doesn't stop there cleans

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itself dude if you don't know what this

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is it's a bidet it's a it's an

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attachment though it's not super

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expensive like those crazy expensive

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bidet toilets um and this goes right on

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there without any extra hardware it's so

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simple that both this dummy and me put

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00:24:40

either way get imagine getting your lit

00:24:43

they rip you know they first of all you

00:24:44

know what they do right yeah they they

00:24:46

or those alligators or crocodiles that

00:24:48

spin you they both do it so they spin

00:24:50

you yeah and then they rip your limbs

00:24:51

but you know your body when that happens

00:24:53

give up no you spin with them oh you

00:24:55

just like you're dancing yeah yeah like

00:24:57

what the problem is is you go the

00:24:59

opposite direction

00:25:01

right so like if there's if he's going

00:25:03

clock counter clockwise then you go

00:25:05

clockwise no you go no you don't go

00:25:07

clockwise because you get ripped you go

00:25:09

with him oh you go okay and you go

00:25:11

you know it's

00:25:13

and eventually about 23 spins he gives

00:25:16

up he gives up yeah that makes sense

00:25:17

right and then what i'll do is i'll

00:25:19

attach myself and go the other way

00:25:20

sometimes what if he just stops at some

00:25:22

point he's like i just want to have sex

00:25:23

and you're like fine just ask

00:25:25

yeah just get concerned

00:25:27

and then she's like where's your [ __ ]

00:25:28

you can i'm a guy

00:25:30

oh okay fine you're fine who cares at

00:25:33

this point yeah they they roll you

00:25:34

around and they rip your limbs off when

00:25:36

you see at the zoo

00:25:38

a little kid fall into the cage love it

00:25:41

i love it

00:25:44

i wrote for the animal of course i root

00:25:47

for the animal every time every time and

00:25:49

i want the mom to jump in there too two

00:25:50

for one yeah yeah get it and then when

00:25:52

they shoot the animal

00:25:54

i always go cheating

00:25:56

i always yell cheating

00:25:58

yeah i mean wait do the video this is so

00:26:00

mean do do raccoon in um orangutan cage

00:26:04

did you see this video of the on the

00:26:05

internet this week no oh

00:26:07

wait there's a recording

00:26:10

dude it's like seven of them and they

00:26:12

you dude it's mean but it's hilarious

00:26:14

they grab by the tail and they whip it

00:26:15

around

00:26:17

feel bad it's so funny i would feel so

00:26:19

bad it's so no that's not the one it's

00:26:20

very it's got it's brand new but he gets

00:26:23

in there this poor raccoon yeah yeah and

00:26:24

you know like orangutans they're strong

00:26:27

so strong dude they grab by the tail and

00:26:28

they're all like watching like oh

00:26:30

they're all like laughing and kind of

00:26:31

and the guy he swings it in the air i

00:26:33

swear to god

00:26:35

yeah he laughs around and throws it's so

00:26:38

awful with the raccoon what are you

00:26:39

doing in the kitchen and when he goes

00:26:41

he's really saying hee-haw

00:26:43

yeah

00:26:45

orangutans you're not going to find it

00:26:47

man you're not going to fall on the

00:26:48

youtubes you don't know how to do it

00:26:49

it's fine

00:26:50

um how was new york didn't you just got

00:26:52

back

00:26:54

i went to new york and i shot um

00:26:57

i'm on sex in the city it's great yeah

00:27:00

that's great and my you know what i'm

00:27:02

playing

00:27:03

um some not definitely not someone she

00:27:04

has sex with

00:27:08

just a guess it's just a guess

00:27:10

why do you say that do you have sex with

00:27:12

someone on the show

00:27:14

no it's a good one yes i've never had

00:27:16

sex with anyone on the show neither of

00:27:17

i've never been in writing no no i when

00:27:19

i was on spleen up together

00:27:20

they've tried to write a love scene for

00:27:22

you right what they did they had to see

00:27:23

with me and lindsay right on the bed and

00:27:26

she said right and i got too close to

00:27:28

her in the bed where he was having a

00:27:29

conversation and the director goes cut

00:27:31

bobby a little bit more separation

00:27:33

it's like oh okay and i went to the

00:27:34

other side of the you know she called

00:27:36

him to her trailer before she's like

00:27:37

about this love scene

00:27:38

do you think we could what if it's just

00:27:40

like a buddy scene like we're friends

00:27:42

but but in sex in the city you don't

00:27:43

have sex with anybody do you

00:27:48

i mean it's a good guess yeah dude

00:27:49

they're not going to hire someone that

00:27:50

looks like you or looks like me or looks

00:27:52

like you're me

00:27:53

or looks like me i'm including myself

00:27:55

yeah to be the hot guy that comes to

00:27:56

have sex with someone sexy that's not

00:27:58

who we are

00:27:59

we don't get hurt we're asexual yeah

00:28:01

fine we're not asexual we're sexual

00:28:04

beings well maybe we could be gay

00:28:05

characters

00:28:07

yeah we're definitely not gonna be the

00:28:08

guy that comes in the cameo the hot guy

00:28:10

cameo you can't compete with those guys

00:28:13

but you know who i love those guys are i

00:28:14

did a scene with i did a commercial with

00:28:16

jane lynch yeah where we make out

00:28:19

yeah and she went for it

00:28:21

yeah because yeah she has no attraction

00:28:23

to men she doesn't you oh is that what

00:28:25

it is

00:28:26

well she's gay she is

00:28:29

bobby i didn't know so i thought she was

00:28:31

like oh she's into me no oh good god no

00:28:34

maybe she thought i was a woman you do

00:28:36

look a little feminine sometimes like a

00:28:38

butchy little dwarf if you pulled your

00:28:40

hair back and wore a dress you could be

00:28:41

a cute korean girl

00:28:43

i look cute as a girl you do actually

00:28:45

i've seen some photos you do so on on no

00:28:47

but

00:28:48

i play um

00:28:50

i play podcaster

00:28:51

oh right yeah you said that that's right

00:28:53

yeah oh there you go with jane lynch

00:28:54

yeah yeah no attraction she's not into

00:28:56

that at all oh she's not look at this do

00:28:58

do list a list of list of um

00:29:01

list of sexy guys on sex today or what

00:29:03

would that be list of uh hot guys on sex

00:29:06

in the city i mean you look at the

00:29:07

lineup that you have to go up against

00:29:08

it's insane dude it's insane just do

00:29:11

images and let's see what comes up oh

00:29:13

there you go second c's 15 hottest guys

00:29:16

okay you can't make this list but i'm

00:29:18

gonna you think one day you can make

00:29:19

this list 15 probably there's no

00:29:21

pictures

00:29:23

go back to images maybe it's good images

00:29:26

i mean look at some of these guys okay

00:29:28

you can't compete with these bros

00:29:31

well those are the bad things it looks

00:29:32

sick that's a bad cop looks sick

00:29:35

yeah he doesn't look

00:29:36

he doesn't look great he looks hot cute

00:29:40

you can't compete with these guys bud

00:29:41

yeah this guy look at that guy i don't

00:29:43

even know who that is yeah

00:29:44

that's smith jarrod

00:29:46

oh look at the [ __ ] are you a second

00:29:48

city president of smith jared's fan club

00:29:50

over here love sexism you do love sex in

00:29:52

the city you know pete's a big fan do

00:29:54

you really pete i really do oh wow which

00:29:56

character are you

00:29:58

who uh pete

00:30:00

you know all the girls that watch it

00:30:01

they name themselves after one of the

00:30:02

characters oh they do i'm probably uh an

00:30:04

aiden i'm not i'm not a i'm not a girl

00:30:06

so i'm going i'm an aiden

00:30:08

pete the joke is everyone that watches

00:30:10

the show identifies with one of the

00:30:11

female characters on the show just

00:30:12

because but i'm not i'm not a girl

00:30:16

pete oh

00:30:18

oh god i see why he put him at three

00:30:20

now i see why she put you at three

00:30:23

i mean the the unwillingness to just go

00:30:25

along with the [ __ ] [ __ ] i'm sarah

00:30:28

all right bring up the girls cause i

00:30:29

want to see which is which cause i'm not

00:30:30

i'm not smart oh you think you're sarah

00:30:31

jessica parker

00:30:33

i'm or i'm uh carrie bradshaw that's

00:30:35

sarah jessica parker right yes so this

00:30:36

guy thinks he went from being an

00:30:37

ancillary character being the star of

00:30:39

the [ __ ] show

00:30:41

how delusional must you be pete

00:30:44

pete bring up the sex and city girls and

00:30:45

we'll see who each of us are in this

00:30:46

room do you know the sex in the city of

00:30:48

the show yeah which one are you i don't

00:30:50

know the names but yeah

00:30:52

there they are there they are i'm i can

00:30:54

obviously only be this is miranda i'm

00:30:56

miranda for sure this is charlotte

00:30:58

charlotte

00:30:58

harry and samantha samantha samantha's

00:31:01

not on the show anymore what happened

00:31:03

i don't know you do it seems like you

00:31:05

know and you don't want to tell me

00:31:06

because your face looks like you know

00:31:09

well i

00:31:10

because i told you the story what

00:31:12

happened between her and i

00:31:13

no

00:31:14

i never told you that story i don't

00:31:16

think so what's the actress's name

00:31:18

um her name is um i'm just not good with

00:31:21

this stuff and i know i already let me

00:31:22

get it

00:31:23

what's her name pete

00:31:25

i don't know i don't know oh you love

00:31:27

the show

00:31:28

i just know the character i know the

00:31:29

name's at the top of my head her name is

00:31:31

um

00:31:32

oh rudy knows what's her name

00:31:36

barbara palvin bob rappeller

00:31:40

that's barbara powell yeah yeah no

00:31:42

what's her name because i have a story

00:31:43

about her

00:31:44

what is barbara palvin's real name

00:31:47

by the way i want to tell you something

00:31:49

yeah yeah he's going to look it up the

00:31:50

other day i was wearing my bad friend's

00:31:51

greatest rock and roll band of all-time

00:31:53

shirt

00:31:54

and a dude goes i love that shirt i was

00:31:56

like oh thanks and i'm thinking he's a

00:31:57

fan of the show i go thanks a lot man

00:31:59

and he goes

00:32:00

who

00:32:01

wait who what's wait what band and i was

00:32:04

like oh he's not a fan and i was like

00:32:06

it's a bad friend the bad friends band

00:32:08

and he's like oh sick where

00:32:11

i thought it was another i thought it

00:32:12

was something else i go yeah and he's

00:32:13

looking at it and then he sees the the

00:32:15

names and he goes

00:32:17

bleith mulave

00:32:19

who's that and i was like oh it's george

00:32:21

trinidad they're all the members of the

00:32:22

band and he's like

00:32:24

oh that's that's cool

00:32:26

so this guy's gonna be googling peter

00:32:27

blight blight's new lava george trinidad

00:32:30

trying to find out who the band is but i

00:32:32

realized i forgot the names are at the

00:32:33

bottom that you made up because at first

00:32:35

i'm like he can just tell this is not a

00:32:37

real band yeah yeah and then he's

00:32:38

looking deep into it is that a bad

00:32:40

friend's shirt that's a whiskey ginger

00:32:42

shirt oh that's a really cool shirt

00:32:43

thanks you can have it do you have a

00:32:45

medium yeah i'll take this off and give

00:32:46

it to you i don't know i'm not gonna

00:32:47

wear that one wait what what do you mean

00:32:48

i'm clean i just shower skin i can't do

00:32:50

skin the skin are you out of your mind i

00:32:52

won't disconnect my i just got out of

00:32:53

the shower i will not do your skin to my

00:32:56

skin why because i'm white

00:32:58

no if you're such a racist it's not that

00:32:59

it's if it was like if it was a korean

00:33:01

guy would you do it you have a dry flaky

00:33:03

body you and you have a you have a

00:33:04

shitty gross body too i'm moist

00:33:07

all right go ahead kim control give me

00:33:08

your king control story i met his this

00:33:10

is how i met eric stone street

00:33:12

i auditioned for a commercial it was a

00:33:15

um

00:33:16

pepsi commercial for the super bowl or

00:33:18

something

00:33:20

and it and michael bay directed it

00:33:24

so it went down to two people

00:33:27

and they and kim control was in the

00:33:28

bathtub

00:33:30

and they were looking for one towel boy

00:33:33

right so we were downtown i didn't know

00:33:36

who eric stone street was and we're

00:33:37

sitting in the lobby and we're just

00:33:39

sitting next to each other

00:33:41

and they put eric in first

00:33:44

and the key was crushing

00:33:46

[Music]

00:33:48

so i go

00:33:49

i should just go home

00:33:51

you were that discouraged because you

00:33:52

could hear the laughs yeah i hate when

00:33:53

you can [ __ ] hear the laughs i could

00:33:54

i couldn't do it but then i went in

00:33:56

there i did okay i did good then they go

00:33:58

all right leave but wait in the lobby

00:34:00

we're gonna bring the other guy back

00:34:01

they bring the other guy back to give

00:34:02

him another shot yeah then they bring me

00:34:04

back in

00:34:05

ask eric and then they brought us both

00:34:08

in at the same time no yeah and you guys

00:34:10

do it together see what happens and they

00:34:12

were laughing

00:34:14

because him and i were just kind of

00:34:16

so we both got it

00:34:18

so i should i've never been really on a

00:34:19

shoot before so i didn't know what a

00:34:21

mark was or anything like that so there

00:34:23

was this scene where kim control was in

00:34:24

the bathtub and there was a mark and

00:34:27

there was like one light shining toward

00:34:29

the entrance entrance when i was walking

00:34:30

into this thing and i had 15 towels that

00:34:33

was stacked

00:34:35

so the joke is i'm like as a towel boy

00:34:37

coming in with these towels right and i

00:34:39

walk in and i hear cut

00:34:42

the lie

00:34:44

the lie

00:34:45

[Laughter]

00:34:46

to from michael bay

00:34:48

holy [ __ ] and i go what line

00:34:51

i don't know what that means you're

00:34:53

blocking the light i know but i didn't

00:34:54

know what it meant i know right so he

00:34:56

goes see the light and i go yeah he goes

00:34:59

you you have to feel that light on your

00:35:01

face or we can't see you

00:35:04

so i go okay

00:35:06

i close the door i have this [ __ ]

00:35:08

towels too and i'm like trying to go

00:35:09

maybe if i could like you know i mean i

00:35:11

just couldn't get the towel in and you

00:35:13

know right so i go in

00:35:16

stop stop stop stop die

00:35:20

i'm not kidding you he's even intense on

00:35:22

pepsi commercials yeah yeah that's

00:35:23

inside the light the light

00:35:25

i did it probably eight times did you

00:35:27

ever did you get it right never never so

00:35:28

now what happens

00:35:30

is he's now

00:35:33

right here

00:35:34

and he grabs my face

00:35:37

i'm not kidding you

00:35:38

he goes like this

00:35:39

here

00:35:41

he turns you into the light yeah here

00:35:44

meanwhile kim could show us freezing in

00:35:46

the time in the tub

00:35:48

she's like you're freezing right

00:35:50

and the whole shoot was like that oh

00:35:52

what a miserable and so she hates you

00:35:54

she hated me yeah because you're the guy

00:35:56

that kept [ __ ] it up right and then

00:35:57

eric would nail everything yeah right he

00:35:59

seems very professional he knows

00:36:01

everything yeah and he's just he's like

00:36:03

improvising he's like twirling you know

00:36:05

what i mean the whole crew me

00:36:08

they're like the light yeah cut

00:36:11

why is your back turned to the camera

00:36:13

[Laughter]

00:36:15

yeah and over your shoulder where's the

00:36:17

camera right there

00:36:20

that's what you did but that's what

00:36:21

happened so this is what happens

00:36:24

so now me and eric are talking and i'm

00:36:26

like in complete shame

00:36:29

yeah right rightfully so

00:36:31

i know you [ __ ] up i know and then

00:36:34

eric's oh don't worry about it buddy

00:36:36

he's a nice guy right

00:36:37

and kim control walks up to us

00:36:40

and she looks at eric in the eyes

00:36:42

and she goes

00:36:43

honestly you're gonna be a very big star

00:36:46

to eric yeah wow and you're right next

00:36:48

to her literally next to each other

00:36:50

she looks at me and she

00:36:52

goes she just walked away

00:36:56

[ __ ] you

00:36:57

she really just kept walking what a

00:36:59

sweet now i love this girl yeah so what

00:37:01

is her name on the show kim katrina i

00:37:02

don't know her real name samantha i'm a

00:37:04

samantha yeah that's me

00:37:06

and so it's it was my bad 100

00:37:09

i know i was green i didn't know i

00:37:11

shouldn't have been

00:37:13

i shouldn't even been there no you

00:37:14

definitely should have been there but

00:37:15

that's what happens you get your lumps

00:37:16

you do dumb [ __ ] you learn when i did it

00:37:19

when i did my episode of the office

00:37:21

um they were done like they were so

00:37:23

tired of doing you can tell they were

00:37:25

all kind of like

00:37:26

krazynski was directing he was very nice

00:37:28

and josh groban josh groban josh groban

00:37:31

love him josh groban yeah the singer

00:37:33

josh groban josh groban i have a story

00:37:34

about him he's he's i literally have a

00:37:36

story about he's in the episode oh

00:37:37

really and him and he's kind of like

00:37:39

improving in the boat a little bit

00:37:43

and i say to john i was like hey do you

00:37:45

want me to like

00:37:46

you know whatever the improv was i don't

00:37:48

even know

00:37:49

and he goes yeah that's fine

00:37:51

and i was like oh i mean

00:37:54

do you and he goes hey man

00:37:55

whatever you want to do i i i don't care

00:37:58

i was like oh all right all right so

00:37:59

then i'm like i'm thinking in my mind

00:38:01

i'm thinking he trusts my [ __ ]

00:38:02

instincts but really he doesn't give a

00:38:04

[ __ ] yeah he's like hurry up dude we

00:38:05

have other [ __ ] to do today is the tenth

00:38:07

[ __ ] season uh we're done we're gonna

00:38:09

go home

00:38:10

wrap it up right

00:38:12

so then i do the scene where i'm

00:38:13

smacking ed helms on the hand yeah on

00:38:16

the boat

00:38:18

and

00:38:19

it was it was my first it was my first

00:38:20

like gig i did he goes presents he's

00:38:22

like hey man make similar to this that's

00:38:25

why i'm saying i'm in we've been we've

00:38:26

all been here yeah he goes hey man use

00:38:28

your left hand because your right hand

00:38:29

is going to block that lens on the other

00:38:31

side right and i go you got it

00:38:33

not hard at all yeah what do i do what i

00:38:36

use the wrong hand he goes

00:38:39

dude he goes also

00:38:41

when you go to smack him make it look

00:38:43

like you're going to smack him like act

00:38:44

like you're going to hit him you know

00:38:46

like like he's like you're like tapping

00:38:47

like go to hit him you know i go okay he

00:38:49

goes also other hand right so in my mind

00:38:51

i'm like but don't hit him too hard but

00:38:52

i don't want to really hit ed hems on

00:38:53

the hand that hard okay again wrong hand

00:38:56

again i'm blocking the lens oh and then

00:38:58

he said this is how i know he goes hey

00:38:59

bud hey bud hey bud

00:39:01

same wrong hand remember that and then

00:39:03

now i feel like a child

00:39:05

hey bud remember that like a like a

00:39:06

little boy like a little tiny boy hey

00:39:08

buddy that's like when you say to your

00:39:09

kid at the playground hey bud don't eat

00:39:11

the wood chips

00:39:13

leave it on the playground right bud oh

00:39:14

my god so then i go i go oh i'm sorry

00:39:16

i've got it nobody on the crew at this

00:39:17

point you know sound guy's like let's go

00:39:19

you [ __ ] [ __ ] it's your left hand

00:39:21

you know i can feel him being like left

00:39:23

hand dude let's go it's not that hard

00:39:24

and then of course on the third take

00:39:26

same exact thing and i use the wrong

00:39:28

hand and i miss his hand and i hit the

00:39:30

wheel

00:39:31

did i miss his hand compared to this

00:39:32

thing yeah and now he and then he and ed

00:39:35

goes let's go just go to the other piece

00:39:37

and john goes yeah we'll go to the other

00:39:38

piece

00:39:39

moving on yeah so i had to get it i had

00:39:41

to use it from the first take when i did

00:39:43

the first time because i [ __ ] up

00:39:45

and i felt like such a like dude then

00:39:47

the rest of the day yeah i sat on the i

00:39:49

sat on the boat yeah this is me in

00:39:51

between takes

00:39:53

sitting on the boat everyone got off the

00:39:55

boat yeah i just sat on the boat by

00:39:57

myself

00:39:58

in the marina yeah i was so embarrassed

00:40:00

it's so embarrassing because i didn't

00:40:01

when you're young you don't know any

00:40:02

better yeah and you don't want to you

00:40:04

don't want to upset people and when

00:40:05

you've already made some mistakes yeah

00:40:07

you feel dumb you really feel dumb and

00:40:09

you're like well i'm not any good this

00:40:11

is so [ __ ] embarrassing and you and

00:40:12

then you start going well this is going

00:40:14

to get back to my agents and then

00:40:15

they're going to be like you [ __ ] up

00:40:16

and you're dumb yeah but then you learn

00:40:18

as you get older nobody [ __ ] cares

00:40:20

nobody cares nobody cares everyone's

00:40:22

making mistakes nobody gives it nobody

00:40:24

cares as long as you're nice nobody

00:40:25

[ __ ] cares

00:40:27

i think you're done yeah yeah you you

00:40:29

imagine all these things well that's it

00:40:31

but it's also what when you're doing

00:40:34

these things even if it's a big thing

00:40:36

even if you you don't know your lines or

00:40:38

you [ __ ] up

00:40:39

because i've seen the biggest people me

00:40:41

too not know their lines yeah what is it

00:40:44

and then have to read it again and then

00:40:46

get really crazy notes i mean it's just

00:40:48

the part of the process totally yeah i

00:40:50

have josh groban's story what happened

00:40:52

by the way i never even got to i barely

00:40:54

got to meet him he was in and out so i

00:40:56

did a break dancing movie called kicking

00:40:58

it old school bring it up

00:41:00

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00:41:02

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00:41:05

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00:41:07

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00:41:09

taste like a real chef made it even

00:41:13

though you made it even i can't make it

00:41:15

and you guys know how i have like

00:41:17

really like you know mentally disabled

00:41:19

hands you have tiny hands

00:41:21

and also they're thick and they don't

00:41:22

work well right you're like a mechanic

00:41:24

you have mechanics hands yeah like

00:41:25

you're like a mechanic from like another

00:41:27

world yeah but my point is is this is

00:41:30

that

00:41:30

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00:43:55

oh i remember this yeah was jamie

00:43:57

kennedy in this yeah wait was it was it

00:43:59

his movie yeah so jamie was in is he

00:44:01

kicking it old school yeah

00:44:03

jamie kennedy yeah i don't remember any

00:44:05

was that marina

00:44:15

[Laughter]

00:44:18

who are the other two right

00:44:20

uh ralphie may no is that ralphie and jb

00:44:23

smell the spot i forget

00:44:24

but um they'll put them on the spot

00:44:26

who's the girl maria manunos that's what

00:44:28

i thought it said that's

00:44:31

so

00:44:32

okay sorry i'm sorry chilly chill so

00:44:35

when i was in canada there he is i took

00:44:37

like six months of dance dancing classes

00:44:40

right

00:44:41

and six months yeah so they're the the

00:44:45

dance teachers they go everyone do it

00:44:47

you guys were training and when i did it

00:44:49

they were like

00:44:50

they pulled me aside and they said

00:44:52

listen chilly chill we gotta we gotta do

00:44:55

get you a body double

00:44:56

because your dancing was so bad so bad

00:44:58

so they i go oh okay

00:45:00

right so i show up on set

00:45:03

and they couldn't find

00:45:05

a man

00:45:06

with my body

00:45:07

so if you look at the movie it's a woman

00:45:09

it's a woman it's a korean woman it's a

00:45:11

fat korean woman that's amazing right so

00:45:13

if you if they cut away you know i mean

00:45:16

it's a it's a woman

00:45:17

right do chilly youtube chili chill

00:45:19

dancing

00:45:21

please

00:45:22

please we have to see this i want it's

00:45:24

not going to be online but chili chill i

00:45:26

hope so chili chill dancing oh there you

00:45:28

are chili

00:45:30

do you dance here

00:45:46

guys come on

00:45:48

this is the first step on the road to

00:45:49

becoming

00:45:52

whatever the hell we want white guy

00:45:54

korean guy black guy super overweight

00:45:56

mexican guy yeah that's like this is

00:45:58

like nbc's dream yeah

00:46:02

i want to see chili chill dance so bad

00:46:04

you gotta know when you come no i don't

00:46:07

man come on chilly

00:46:08

it's red yeah he's in red there's chili

00:46:12

there he is what do you say chill i

00:46:15

don't know man

00:46:17

chili chill

00:46:19

popcorn

00:46:21

the funniest thing is they assumed

00:46:22

because it's break dancing right

00:46:24

that if all these guys are like well the

00:46:26

korean guy and the black guy got this

00:46:27

down

00:46:28

because they're like the black guy's got

00:46:29

it and they look at the korean guy and

00:46:31

they're like come on man this is like

00:46:33

this has got to be i don't want to watch

00:46:35

this right now let's watch it

00:46:37

i do want to see it chilly chill

00:46:38

let's hear your josh groban story chili

00:46:40

chill but congrats by the way

00:46:43

chili chill yeah very tight please don't

00:46:45

call me chili chill man what do you mean

00:46:46

chili what are you talking about

00:46:49

you're my chili chill boy oh my god i'm

00:46:51

blushing

00:46:52

what's wrong with chili chill anyway all

00:46:54

right chilly tell us your josh groban

00:46:56

story so brilliant is the movie so she

00:46:58

she invites me to her christmas party

00:47:00

i'm not being rude i'm looking up the

00:47:01

box office mojo for uh

00:47:03

for kicking it old school i want to see

00:47:04

how much money it made

00:47:06

what do you think of this i don't know

00:47:08

let's take a guess let's do our guess

00:47:10

how much money do you think kicking it

00:47:11

old school made in them and this is not

00:47:12

a slight because jamie kennedy i'm not

00:47:14

making fun of you or you or anybody he's

00:47:15

a good rebellion huh

00:47:17

three million three million domestic

00:47:19

worldwide what are we talking domestic

00:47:20

okay domestic three million and

00:47:22

international how much 12 million 12

00:47:25

million all right what do you say rude

00:47:28

domestic

00:47:29

1 million

00:47:31

international international

00:47:33

5. oh well all right

00:47:36

domestic has 4.5 million so 4 million

00:47:40

international yeah is [ __ ] gonna blow

00:47:41

your mind what

00:47:43

ready yeah

00:47:44

189

00:47:47

000

00:47:48

a hundred thousand dollars overseas

00:47:50

that's like eight people went to go see

00:47:52

it

00:47:54

yeah because when my

00:47:55

when my chili when my dad was still

00:47:57

alive rest in peace he went to the eight

00:48:00

o'clock showing with my mom opening

00:48:02

weekend in arizona

00:48:04

my dad called me at eight o'clock and he

00:48:06

and his this is i can this rings in my

00:48:09

head yeah when i go to bed he goes

00:48:12

there's nobody here

00:48:17

that's so mean i know any left there's

00:48:20

nobody here they never played it oh man

00:48:22

they just left they got their money

00:48:24

refunded and they left

00:48:25

did that hurt a little bit bad

00:48:28

don't nobody because in my head i'm like

00:48:31

because

00:48:32

this is so embarrassing come on

00:48:34

because

00:48:35

when i was shooting this movie this is

00:48:38

before this movie came out

00:48:40

i was

00:48:41

shooting um were you on mad at the time

00:48:44

yeah pineapple express oh

00:48:47

so when i went to pile up express they

00:48:48

were so busy one day that they didn't

00:48:50

really have a trailer for me and i

00:48:52

complained like well i mean kicking it

00:48:54

old school oh bob

00:48:56

[Laughter]

00:48:59

they're like listen chilly yeah they're

00:49:00

chilly chill just stay here for the day

00:49:02

you're in pineapple express with like

00:49:03

five huge names huge and you're like

00:49:06

james franco everyone right like you

00:49:07

guys know i'm i'm so embarrassed anyway

00:49:09

i don't know why we took this detour

00:49:12

let me hear josh groban

00:49:15

this whole show should be called detour

00:49:16

i know

00:49:17

what happened with josh groves i met

00:49:19

maria i don't know anybody i don't know

00:49:21

what music is i don't know anything the

00:49:22

only kind of music i like is fugazi and

00:49:24

punk and whatever i love fugazi so i was

00:49:27

at i don't know who john may i know who

00:49:29

john mayer is i know john mayer but i'm

00:49:31

not really familiar with the music sure

00:49:33

okay

00:49:34

so i'm at a party no one will talk to me

00:49:36

everyone's there and i'm sitting there

00:49:38

at like on a like a bench

00:49:41

and there's this guy there

00:49:43

drinking string

00:49:45

he goes hey you're a comedian right

00:49:47

yeah yeah yeah i am

00:49:49

he's like what's that like

00:49:51

and i go

00:49:52

because at the time i was playing clubs

00:49:56

but like sack punch line

00:49:58

what's wrong with that but it feels 200

00:50:00

seats

00:50:01

it's fine yeah but i was bragging

00:50:03

oh you thought you were hot [ __ ] yeah oh

00:50:05

yeah i was like yeah like last saturday

00:50:08

i sold out the sacramento punch line 200

00:50:10

seats that's pretty that's pretty cool

00:50:12

though right and but i kept bragging

00:50:14

yeah it's like tour money it's like i'm

00:50:16

pretty killing it you know i do like 150

00:50:18

200 people a show

00:50:20

you know i mean i had to comp half the

00:50:21

room but still cool and like still cool

00:50:23

yeah i'm killing it you know i mean

00:50:24

chilly chill and i talked for like 20

00:50:26

minutes

00:50:28

without even letting him say a word

00:50:31

josh groban

00:50:32

just stepping on his toes what's your

00:50:34

name he goes i'm josh groban

00:50:36

and i go bye

00:50:40

did you that's it you just that was it

00:50:41

you were done walked away because you

00:50:43

didn't realize i got in the car and

00:50:44

drove home because you were like i don't

00:50:46

know who that is i don't really care i

00:50:47

knew who the name you just didn't know

00:50:48

anything about him though yeah but i

00:50:50

knew that he was a big star at the big

00:50:51

star like houston's doing stadiums and

00:50:54

[ __ ] yeah but your 200 seats are cool to

00:50:55

you

00:50:57

i know that's cool to you but there's so

00:50:59

many like moments

00:51:00

in my past where i wish i could take

00:51:03

back

00:51:04

like social moments or situations no

00:51:06

because those make you what you are i

00:51:08

know but it's like there's so many of

00:51:10

them in my life yeah i've still like

00:51:12

when i was in hungary i was at a [ __ ]

00:51:13

burrito place it was a place called

00:51:15

chimichanga they have burritos yeah i

00:51:17

know it's terrible yeah and these two

00:51:19

girls walk up to me and they go at all

00:51:22

they go hey

00:51:24

and this guy in back of me goes not you

00:51:25

me oh bob right and i they walk by and

00:51:28

i'm still oh

00:51:30

you know i mean i still have those

00:51:32

that's when you turn and engage and go

00:51:33

no you say hi to me i'm bobby lee i'm

00:51:36

chilly

00:51:37

and i start sweating and i go why did

00:51:39

you do that

00:51:40

there's just so many instances in my

00:51:42

life does that happen to you do you get

00:51:44

embarrassed like that rude yeah all the

00:51:46

time

00:51:46

yeah

00:51:48

recently

00:51:50

recently no no who are you texting by

00:51:52

the way

00:51:53

diego are you playing with tape that's

00:51:56

how we keep her entertained yeah she

00:51:57

doesn't

00:52:00

let me ask you

00:52:01

no honestly

00:52:03

what the [ __ ] it is funny i'm listening

00:52:06

but you are a fixture of the show you

00:52:08

can add whenever you want

00:52:10

pull the mic towards you god dammit you

00:52:12

know what

00:52:13

here's what we'll do to get her to

00:52:15

get into the um episode not episode but

00:52:18

like to get her you know

00:52:21

to become a better podcaster

00:52:24

is to add her own information she

00:52:26

doesn't know how to do that i know but

00:52:28

so what we'll do is every episode there

00:52:30

has to be three incidences

00:52:32

throughout the episode where he she has

00:52:34

to just

00:52:35

bring up a topic or ask a question or

00:52:37

something yeah and be involved be

00:52:39

involved

00:52:41

it's like anything it could be anything

00:52:42

hey do you guys see the olympic or

00:52:44

whatever it might be right

00:52:46

but it's got to be something out of the

00:52:48

blue

00:52:49

and it's got to be something that like

00:52:51

um don't laugh a topic that you want to

00:52:53

talk about this is real

00:52:54

we might have to fire you

00:52:56

speaking of bands yeah josh groban and

00:52:59

such rudy wants to show us that she's uh

00:53:03

she's she knows her knowledge about

00:53:05

bands as well

00:53:07

so we're gonna go through your favorite

00:53:08

band one direction right rudy

00:53:10

yes all right let's hear it okay

00:53:14

hello everyone hi

00:53:17

i'm gonna be presenting introduce who

00:53:20

you are

00:53:21

yeah we don't know who the [ __ ] you are

00:53:22

we walk in i would just have it ladies

00:53:24

and gentlemen um to do her first ted

00:53:26

talk i mean we have from

00:53:29

the

00:53:30

from northridge university from the

00:53:32

philippines from the philippines yeah uh

00:53:36

julianna kuhn aka rudy then you come up

00:53:39

on stage

00:53:42

hello hello

00:53:44

i'm gonna be presenting about one

00:53:47

direction my favorite

00:53:49

boy band great

00:53:51

i hope you're your name

00:53:53

i'm julianna kuhn wow

00:53:55

[Laughter]

00:53:59

when she does that on on stage and

00:54:01

imagine a thousand people are watching

00:54:03

she goes i'm julianna and everyone's

00:54:04

like oh [ __ ] i would go like this i go i

00:54:06

love this

00:54:08

energy what is going on here all right

00:54:09

let's hear it okay

00:54:13

okay so the members of one direction

00:54:17

is harry styles

00:54:19

zayn malik okay liam payne

00:54:24

and louis tomlinson

00:54:26

do you want me to show

00:54:28

witches harry styles i know which one

00:54:30

harry styles i know which one here is

00:54:31

the bottom right okay who is zayn malik

00:54:35

bottom left oh who is liam payne

00:54:38

uh left the top no no top right

00:54:41

who is niall horan in the top left with

00:54:43

the blonde hair who

00:54:45

louie tomlinson is in the middle that's

00:54:47

right

00:54:48

okay do you know that to be true

00:54:50

yeah

00:54:51

oh that's right you're the one right

00:54:53

what kind of ted talk is this are you

00:54:55

gonna ask her

00:54:57

she asked me

00:54:58

okay i just responded

00:55:02

i think you should do all this without

00:55:03

any of this on screen yeah take this off

00:55:05

the screen i feel like you're ready

00:55:06

because you're cheating you're cheating

00:55:08

i feel like

00:55:09

go ahead but then there's no pictures of

00:55:11

them there's a we'll put up a photo how

00:55:13

many albums have they sold they have

00:55:15

solved

00:55:16

sold

00:55:19

four

00:55:20

four albums

00:55:21

four or five yeah you mean they've made

00:55:23

four how many have they sold

00:55:26

i don't know five

00:55:28

five or five albums got it

00:55:30

the biggest boy band in the world

00:55:34

the names yeah of what of the albums

00:55:36

yeah okay okay up all night up all night

00:55:39

all night one of my favorites

00:55:41

um

00:55:43

four

00:55:44

four

00:55:45

the number yeah four oh okay that's

00:55:47

their four is one of their albums yeah

00:55:50

they were lazy that day yeah no because

00:55:52

it is it was their first album i know

00:55:54

but what do we call it i don't know it's

00:55:56

our fourth album you'll see four [ __ ]

00:55:58

fine yeah made in the am

00:56:01

made in the in in the morning

00:56:04

in the morning

00:56:05

am is the morning you know that right i

00:56:07

know what does it stand for

00:56:10

i don't know okay what does it stand for

00:56:14

anatomically motorized

00:56:17

in the morning the sun is anatomically

00:56:18

motorized

00:56:20

did you know that

00:56:21

yeah of course he did

00:56:23

in the evening prematurely motorized

00:56:25

it's prematurely motorized it's been

00:56:26

prematurely okay let me

00:56:28

finish please we want to know what i

00:56:31

know but it's like you're missing out on

00:56:32

no i don't see wrap it up because i i

00:56:34

don't even know if she knows anything

00:56:35

about the band i'm feeling like a little

00:56:36

bit let me finish all right all right

00:56:39

okay so i'm a fan and so you also need

00:56:42

to be a fan of the one direction we are

00:56:45

we want to be why because i love them

00:56:47

but what what is it about them where are

00:56:48

they from they're from england how do

00:56:51

they meet their british how did they

00:56:53

meet

00:56:54

they were from x factor

00:56:56

and even though they didn't win

00:56:59

simon

00:57:01

cowell

00:57:02

made them into a ban

00:57:04

what are their favorite foods

00:57:07

louie likes carrots

00:57:10

that makes sense

00:57:11

no i'll give you like some facts about

00:57:14

them sure okay louie likes carrots

00:57:17

and he likes girls who eats carrots

00:57:21

liam is scared of spoon

00:57:24

of the band spoon oh no spoons

00:57:27

oh spoons

00:57:29

harry why

00:57:31

i don't know something happened to him i

00:57:33

got to tell you i get it the shape is

00:57:34

weird

00:57:35

it's a weird change it's a weird like

00:57:37

what yeah what is that it's just a tiny

00:57:39

ladle give me a big one

00:57:43

i don't like little baby ladles give me

00:57:45

a [ __ ] [ __ ] give me a big ladle you

00:57:47

don't you no one's scared of a spoon

00:57:51

are you serious that's a

00:57:53

google it right now people are scared of

00:57:54

spoons i bet you my life people are

00:57:56

scared of spoons no don't finish the

00:57:58

[ __ ] presentation phobia are we

00:57:59

googling phobia of spoons

00:58:02

are people scared of spoons let's find

00:58:04

out

00:58:07

i don't know what people are doing their

00:58:08

spoons i don't want to know but liam

00:58:10

isn't the only one with a spoon problem

00:58:13

it turns out there actually is a name

00:58:14

for his phobia

00:58:16

zoom in

00:58:18

it's

00:58:19

say it out loud rudy

00:58:22

which liam is well aware of defining

00:58:24

extreme and often irrational fear of

00:58:25

spoons

00:58:26

okay

00:58:28

you'll find that for any eating utensil

00:58:31

are people we are forks

00:58:33

our people you're a force are people

00:58:34

scared of forks

00:58:36

no that's no yeah right there what is

00:58:38

that

00:58:40

aggro embryophobia is the fear of

00:58:42

glyophobia silvery things especially

00:58:44

silverware oh so that's so it's a whole

00:58:46

all the silverware yeah

00:58:48

our grayophobia argrif

00:58:51

argeophobia like being pork by

00:58:54

pumping by a fork

00:58:56

that does scare me a little bit yeah

00:58:57

yeah because i get so when someone's

00:58:59

eating aggressively in a restaurant i

00:59:01

think they could just throw a fork i'm

00:59:02

just saying there's a fear of everything

00:59:03

there's a fear of um people are fearful

00:59:06

of guacamole people are fearful of like

00:59:08

what's your roosters what's yours what's

00:59:10

your irrational fear i don't really have

00:59:12

one you don't have any irrational fears

00:59:14

avocado anxiety first world problem yeah

00:59:18

that's got to be a white guy thing

00:59:19

yeah

00:59:20

yeah i don't have any you don't have any

00:59:21

irrational fears do you

00:59:23

i'm scared i'm

00:59:25

i'm not

00:59:26

i'm scared of

00:59:30

i guess i just don't drowning it scares

00:59:32

the [ __ ] out of me oh yeah i'm scared of

00:59:34

being buried alive right

00:59:36

yeah but that's everybody no

00:59:39

really imagine being buried alive all

00:59:41

right you you're getting knocked out you

00:59:43

wake up and you're now in a casket

00:59:46

that's fun

00:59:48

eight feet

00:59:49

underground six isn't it but my mine's

00:59:51

eight oh you're two feet low oh yeah

00:59:54

and the first thing you would do is

00:59:56

you can't see

00:59:58

well you can how well your your eyes

01:00:00

would adjust at some point right there's

01:00:02

no light at all though you would never

01:00:03

adjust your eyes

01:00:05

your eyes would never adjust there's no

01:00:06

light what about your cell phone in your

01:00:07

pocket

01:00:08

you don't have

01:00:09

you you wake up in a casket okay i'm

01:00:11

fine you wake up in a casket completely

01:00:14

naked with nothing they don't bury you

01:00:16

naked yes they do do they yeah no you

01:00:18

have clothes on when they bear no that

01:00:20

it depends on where you are el salvador

01:00:21

no problem okay i'll salvador all right

01:00:23

so now you you wake up right you're in a

01:00:25

casket you're completely naked right

01:00:27

there's no light so you what would the

01:00:29

be the first thing is like where am i so

01:00:32

you would use the other senses which is

01:00:35

your hands first you would feel and you

01:00:37

would feel the wooden box

01:00:39

you go holy [ __ ]

01:00:41

i think i'm in a casket i'm going to

01:00:42

cask it right

01:00:44

and then is it a nice one

01:00:47

no it's not even it's one of those

01:00:48

makeshift it's not padded it's not

01:00:50

padded it's just wood

01:00:52

it's like

01:00:53

bad wood

01:00:54

what's better to get splinters out yeah

01:00:56

yeah where am i wow yeah

01:00:59

right that would hurt and then the

01:01:00

oxygen is slowly running out in that

01:01:02

little thing

01:01:04

and then you would probably go

01:01:07

hello

01:01:09

quietly

01:01:10

hello

01:01:11

you would hello hello

01:01:15

anybody

01:01:16

but you i i bet you because of all the

01:01:18

dirt it's so muffled you only you can

01:01:21

hear it that you could you realize like

01:01:23

oh [ __ ] i'm buried i'm buried alive

01:01:26

what do you do then

01:01:30

you try to claw out well then you're

01:01:31

gonna let the dirt in it doesn't matter

01:01:32

i mean you would have to figure

01:01:33

something out you would do what

01:01:35

um thurman did you mean

01:01:43

and then

01:01:44

you're dead and then you're dead yeah so

01:01:46

would you rather just would you rather

01:01:48

how about this would you rather just die

01:01:51

of being buried alive and being in the

01:01:53

casket

01:01:54

or would you rather try to get out and

01:01:55

die that way i'd if if there was a yeah

01:01:58

right there right there so if but she

01:02:00

had a light in this

01:02:02

right right so it's like because they're

01:02:04

not going to do a scene in pitch black

01:02:06

so kind of tough to shoot harder but

01:02:08

wait a minute would you would seriously

01:02:10

rudy would you just let just sit there

01:02:12

until you're until you die until you die

01:02:14

or would you try to get out and die that

01:02:15

way you're going to die either way

01:02:16

i think i'll sleep and just wait until i

01:02:19

die yeah you guys are big sleepers that

01:02:21

would be easy for you to just sleep yeah

01:02:22

i think i would go like all right you

01:02:24

don't

01:02:25

panic

01:02:26

you're gonna die anyway right

01:02:29

and just stay still cause who knows

01:02:31

maybe

01:02:32

in eight hours someone might get

01:02:34

somebody might get me you could last

01:02:36

more than eight oh you think the air is

01:02:37

just gonna run i think the air won't run

01:02:38

out yeah see i'd rather just i wouldn't

01:02:40

want to break the box and let the dirt

01:02:41

in i'd rather just let the air run out

01:02:43

because you probably just when you run

01:02:44

out actually probably just get dizzy and

01:02:45

go to bed okay would you rather have

01:02:47

that or this this is what my dad said

01:02:50

they did the japanese did to the koreans

01:02:53

during the

01:02:54

occupation yeah so what they would they

01:02:56

would go to a village

01:02:58

and i guess they had these gigantic

01:03:00

pots of boiling water

01:03:02

who's how are they carrying around

01:03:04

boiling pots of water they just would

01:03:06

they would get a big pot of boiling

01:03:08

water okay i don't know how maybe that

01:03:10

people just had them around in a village

01:03:12

just boiling pots of water all over the

01:03:14

place right got it

01:03:16

i'm just trying to understand the

01:03:17

logistics of it yeah but it also it's

01:03:19

like you're not probably the culture you

01:03:21

don't know

01:03:22

are there a lot of gigantic boiling pots

01:03:24

of water in the philippines just hanging

01:03:25

around

01:03:26

no i don't okay so in korea there are

01:03:28

fine fine so let's just suppose in your

01:03:31

little pea brain

01:03:33

right your little pea brain there was a

01:03:35

big pot your dad is making this up

01:03:38

okay you know what my dad's dead and

01:03:40

that's rude

01:03:41

when did he die a couple years ago you

01:03:43

know he did we did the song seriously

01:03:44

yeah you would die you remember this

01:03:46

that was for your yes it wasn't for

01:03:48

anything else but yeah okay so anyway

01:03:50

a lot of boiling water and he goes they

01:03:52

used to

01:03:54

make it up

01:03:56

now you're realizing it's not what are

01:03:57

you saying

01:03:58

as my dad it seems like he's still here

01:04:01

bobby let me tell you a bedtime story

01:04:04

all right you're like sick okay dad yeah

01:04:06

i mean

01:04:07

back in the day when the japanese so

01:04:09

they used the boiling water

01:04:11

they used to tie accordions by their uh

01:04:14

what do you call

01:04:15

here feet

01:04:17

ankles ankle right right how does he say

01:04:20

ankle uncle uncle right and they go

01:04:23

upside they hang outside from a tree so

01:04:26

they would hang

01:04:27

koreans upside down no way from a tree

01:04:30

and dip them in the boil and they would

01:04:31

dip the [ __ ] body in the boiling

01:04:34

water and every time the body would come

01:04:36

out it would be

01:04:37

losing a layer of skin oh my god right

01:04:39

and they would dip it ten times until

01:04:41

they're dead

01:04:42

but apparently it was like the most

01:04:43

painful thing did he see this no this is

01:04:45

the case

01:04:46

will you google dipping koreans

01:04:48

[Laughter]

01:04:50

there is no dip in korean what do you

01:04:52

mean

01:04:52

dipping koreans in boiling water all

01:04:54

right there you go dipping koreans and

01:04:56

boiling water water the dip in korean

01:04:59

sounds like a baseball team

01:05:01

five to four out here the dip in korea

01:05:03

before you do that let me just go to the

01:05:05

back to my quest by boiling there it is

01:05:07

death by boiling bro that's so awful i

01:05:10

see death by boiling boiling liquid is

01:05:13

there a reference to it for in the

01:05:14

during the occupation historical

01:05:15

practice in europe no asia for sure yeah

01:05:18

look at that look at the size of that

01:05:19

big pot

01:05:20

[ __ ] i told you

01:05:23

i [ __ ] told you yeah but they

01:05:25

wouldn't go town to town they brought

01:05:26

you to the pot they had to bring you to

01:05:28

the pod yeah look at that pot bandit

01:05:30

ishiga ishigawa go iman was boiled to

01:05:32

death for the attempted assassination of

01:05:33

warlord

01:05:34

toyota hide yoshi anyway so i'll give

01:05:37

you three options so

01:05:40

buried buried alive mm-hmm dipped by

01:05:42

boiling water

01:05:44

right

01:05:44

or or

01:05:46

do you see game of thrones where they i

01:05:48

think it was game of thrones you put the

01:05:49

bucket on the stomach

01:05:51

no so they put a bucket

01:05:53

right

01:05:54

tied to

01:05:55

somebody's stomach

01:05:56

but in the bucket is like eight rats oh

01:05:59

and they're gonna so they burn this end

01:06:02

so that the ratchet would burrow through

01:06:04

the human body to escape what do you say

01:06:06

rudy so you have those three options

01:06:08

that died so buried alive uh boiling or

01:06:11

death by rat chewing through your

01:06:13

abdomen buried alive buried alive what

01:06:15

do you say

01:06:16

rats rat you want to feel it huh i don't

01:06:19

want to feel it you're going to feel it

01:06:21

the claustrophobia is that how is it

01:06:23

claustrophobic claustrophobia of the

01:06:25

[ __ ] buried alive i wouldn't be able

01:06:26

to do it psychologically you're okay

01:06:28

it's a slow it's a slow down but now you

01:06:30

feel the rats eating away your body

01:06:32

that's slow but i always feel like

01:06:34

somehow you i could survive it

01:06:36

you might because if they bury around

01:06:38

like if they avoid the organs if they

01:06:40

were smart rats

01:06:41

right that's not that's the heart go

01:06:43

around it right right that's the liver i

01:06:45

mean they just went through non

01:06:47

so they just then then they make a home

01:06:49

inside of you

01:06:50

or they or they just bury burrow right

01:06:52

through you to your butthole not to my

01:06:54

butt up through my back

01:06:55

they go around the spine they don't [ __ ]

01:06:57

with any of the vital organs they hit

01:06:58

nothing no they put nothing they're

01:07:00

smart rats okay right and

01:07:02

come on guys

01:07:03

and also he's not gonna die either so we

01:07:06

did two good things so they we're both

01:07:08

alive well i guess that's the right way

01:07:09

to do it right and then then i would

01:07:11

probably

01:07:13

would probably hold both with my back

01:07:15

like this like this

01:07:17

and and tell the my torture that was a

01:07:19

good one oh you would say that's a good

01:07:21

one yeah but now he's going to go now

01:07:22

get in the casket

01:07:24

so now now you're going to bury a lot

01:07:26

and we're going to dip the casket in

01:07:27

boiling water

01:07:29

yeah by the way yeah which one would you

01:07:31

do i think i would do the casket for

01:07:32

sure because i think you run out of

01:07:33

oxygen and you otherwise the boiling

01:07:36

i couldn't do boiling it it would suck

01:07:38

but the only way what but every time you

01:07:40

come up because they dip you and then

01:07:41

they bring you up yeah it would only be

01:07:43

fun if you could every not fun but

01:07:45

if you every time you came up you made a

01:07:46

joke

01:07:48

all right so right right if i tie you so

01:07:50

if they dip yeah i pull you up dip you

01:07:52

down and you go

01:07:53

it's not that warm it's not that hot at

01:07:55

all and then tip you back down yeah yeah

01:07:57

you go let me take another look i think

01:07:58

it's down there somewhere

01:07:59

you know what i mean all right are there

01:08:00

supposed to be apples in here or what i

01:08:02

thought i'm bobbing forever if you do a

01:08:03

hacky throw

01:08:05

right then it's then at least at least

01:08:06

the guy lowering you is just like

01:08:08

best

01:08:12

this is a this is kind of a weird spot

01:08:13

what do you think and then they dip you

01:08:14

back in yeah the rope guy might go it's

01:08:16

pretty funny yeah they might let you i

01:08:18

know but then but imagine this though

01:08:20

every time you get popped up a layer of

01:08:22

something is gone now you're a skeleton

01:08:27

what a weird spot

01:08:28

jaws this is terrible terrible terrible

01:08:30

it's so terrible we're even talking

01:08:32

about this yeah but once we get here

01:08:33

again we're talking about it in present

01:08:34

in present day how did we get to this

01:08:36

though george that back to george

01:08:38

something unfollow him it's unfollowing

01:08:40

him

01:08:41

no no hey hey hey no hey

01:08:44

um you must unfollow him um

01:08:47

yes so um by the way so but but my dad

01:08:50

was right though

01:08:51

yeah it's a real thing

01:08:53

okay good but your dad did make up a lot

01:08:54

of stuff because he was kind of a crazy

01:08:56

drunk so who knows

01:08:58

yeah you know sometimes people make up

01:08:59

[ __ ] and it turns out to be true you've

01:09:01

done that before where you guess and

01:09:02

it's right

01:09:04

what do you mean yeah where someone's

01:09:05

like what year did that happen you're

01:09:07

like i think probably the 50s and you

01:09:08

look it up and it was and you and you

01:09:10

yourself go

01:09:11

oh yeah yeah i didn't i do that all the

01:09:13

time where i'm like i think and then

01:09:15

what year was

01:09:16

in what place was this invented you go

01:09:18

albuquerque new mexico and they go yeah

01:09:20

yeah it was did you know that and you're

01:09:22

like and of course i did yeah and you

01:09:23

have to be out back now you have to go

01:09:24

back go through of course of course i of

01:09:26

course i know okay now add information

01:09:28

give us a different ques that steer the

01:09:30

oh yeah you should oh yeah we have to

01:09:31

keep funneling her you know we'll do a

01:09:33

thing i'll go like i'll raise this every

01:09:35

time i raise this you have to come up

01:09:37

with a different thread of questioning

01:09:39

any topic

01:09:40

what's something

01:09:42

78 weeks we've been doing the show

01:09:44

78 dude honestly 78

01:09:46

no [ __ ] be in our shoes

01:09:50

let's just talk about something else

01:09:51

yeah right and then i will lift this i

01:09:53

really want this to work because this is

01:09:55

going to help her life because truth be

01:09:56

told i don't know why we have her on the

01:09:58

show sometimes people love her so much

01:09:59

and she is just sitting there not

01:10:01

contributing not wanting to pay

01:10:02

attention not adding anything

01:10:04

oh you just hear what she says when i

01:10:06

say we have to get in the car to come

01:10:07

here so bummed yeah jules get ready why

01:10:10

we have to do back

01:10:12

you don't have to you know what i don't

01:10:14

do that

01:10:15

why don't we just not have her on the

01:10:16

show anymore

01:10:17

do you want to take a break for

01:10:19

a year

01:10:21

she does you want to take a break

01:10:23

no

01:10:26

you like it

01:10:27

it's okay no she doesn't like it's okay

01:10:30

what is it how can we make this better

01:10:32

for you jules

01:10:33

where's diego by the way did he hit you

01:10:35

up

01:10:36

uh are you done with him yeah oh boy oh

01:10:39

boy did he see the episode

01:10:41

yeah

01:10:42

a lot of people are like asking him to

01:10:45

follow

01:10:46

oh

01:10:47

because he's private do we give away his

01:10:48

instagram

01:10:50

no but i follow him oh and they just

01:10:52

look up you

01:10:54

yeah let's just talk about something

01:10:55

else um no it's fine have you bunched

01:10:57

watching the olympics

01:10:58

it's way over by now yeah but wasn't the

01:11:01

olympics amazing yeah it was great yeah

01:11:03

yeah we did the olympics last episode

01:11:04

yeah yeah

01:11:06

how have you

01:11:08

have you seen

01:11:11

outer banks on netflix

01:11:16

no no what is it what is it it's a teen

01:11:19

movie

01:11:20

yeah me and bobby love teen movies what

01:11:23

is it about

01:11:24

these teens like go on a quest and go

01:11:27

find like treasures

01:11:30

look at what these kids look like these

01:11:31

days oh my god

01:11:33

where are the ugly kids

01:11:35

remember how ugly you were as a teenager

01:11:37

i know i was so [ __ ] i was so jealous

01:11:39

of these kids too i hated these haters

01:11:41

hated them yeah yeah they had nice skin

01:11:43

good teeth yeah i had pock mark pimple

01:11:46

face

01:11:47

bulging teeth big huge [ __ ] my

01:11:49

grandfather used to say because my hair

01:11:51

is so uh orange and my ears were so big

01:11:53

he's like you look like a taxi coming

01:11:54

down the street where the doors open

01:11:56

yeah my [ __ ] family so

01:11:59

yeah

01:12:01

you look like a taxi coming down the

01:12:02

street with its doors open yeah yeah and

01:12:04

i was so skinny and i had [ __ ] big

01:12:05

feet i have 12 and a half now when i was

01:12:08

like in high school i had 10 and a half

01:12:09

or 11's my grandfather goes jesus christ

01:12:12

look at those [ __ ] things and i go oh

01:12:13

yeah i got big feet he goes you can

01:12:15

water ski just without you water ski

01:12:17

without skis

01:12:19

my dad once said you know i walked into

01:12:20

the room right in his bedroom he goes

01:12:22

you look like you did a 100 yard dash in

01:12:24

an undiyar gym

01:12:26

[Laughter]

01:12:31

that is so good

01:12:33

my dad face was that flat

01:12:35

your dad is very funny yeah i'll bring

01:12:37

him but these so one time um in la jolla

01:12:40

you know do you ever see um what's that

01:12:41

one with fred savage that um wonder

01:12:44

wonder years winnie

01:12:46

so i guess her grandmother i used to

01:12:48

have such a big crush right i lived it i

01:12:50

invited i i i um auditioned for mad tv

01:12:53

with her look at her

01:12:54

but her grandmother or something

01:12:58

i was walking by i was a kid in high

01:13:00

school i was walking by her

01:13:02

grandmother's house and my friend goes

01:13:03

oh you're that girl from one of yours

01:13:05

her grandmother lives there and i took

01:13:07

it i don't know why i had an avocado

01:13:10

but i threw it at the house why would

01:13:12

you because i just didn't like you know

01:13:13

what i mean

01:13:14

you didn't like just winnie cooper's

01:13:16

just i just like you know i mean anyone

01:13:18

that was doing well oh right yeah yeah

01:13:21

how old were you

01:13:22

16. cool yeah yeah there's winnie cooper

01:13:25

there

01:13:26

yeah she's very pretty she's still

01:13:28

pretty she was so cute as a kid she's so

01:13:30

nice

01:13:31

the side bob the side ponytail

01:13:33

yeah

01:13:35

we'll look at that picture of her is

01:13:36

that dancing with the stars that's got

01:13:37

to be right up up

01:13:40

up to the right yeah that's got to be

01:13:42

dancing with the stars isn't it yeah of

01:13:43

course it is

01:13:45

would you ever do that show huh dances

01:13:47

with the stars

01:13:48

i would do dances with wolves if they

01:13:49

bring that and then would you dance if

01:13:51

they make dances with wolves a tv show

01:13:52

yeah you actually have to train and

01:13:53

dance with wolves i would do that

01:13:55

i would 100 do that yeah but what

01:13:58

welcome back i'm tom bergeron welcome

01:14:00

back to dances with wolves

01:14:03

[Music]

01:14:05

who's going to die this week on dances

01:14:07

with wolves

01:14:08

people just getting mangled and [ __ ]

01:14:10

dealer celebrities getting their [ __ ]

01:14:11

heads ripped off by wolves that kind of

01:14:13

show i'm into right i would never do

01:14:15

some [ __ ] like this why

01:14:17

and i don't i'm not [ __ ] on the

01:14:18

people that have done it why would i do

01:14:20

that

01:14:21

why would anderson because i feel like

01:14:23

you can dance i can dance but why would

01:14:25

i do i think that if you trained with a

01:14:26

real guy and i think because of that's

01:14:28

the fear is that i fall in love with my

01:14:30

guy though no but mid-america would love

01:14:32

it i mean america will love you if you

01:14:35

if regardless because i i get this

01:14:37

sometimes now because because you're a

01:14:39

leftist

01:14:40

cuck because you're a left coast cuck

01:14:45

what do you get sometimes

01:14:47

what do you get

01:14:49

no come on finish the statement what do

01:14:50

you get i'm just teasing you no i know

01:14:52

it's fine um

01:14:54

well i'll get recognized for things that

01:14:56

normally when i was doing the thing i

01:14:58

was like what am i doing this for yeah

01:15:00

but america loves it but like you know

01:15:02

you'll get like people that you normally

01:15:04

wouldn't

01:15:05

you mean like you or know about you come

01:15:07

up to you and go like black people what

01:15:09

do you say no no like midwestern people

01:15:11

like i've had old men come up to me or

01:15:13

women go a young man i

01:15:16

i loved you on that magnum pie of course

01:15:18

yeah what i'm saying is that

01:15:20

if i didn't do that show i wouldn't

01:15:23

ever

01:15:24

these people would never know about me

01:15:25

well that's great i know it's great but

01:15:26

because a certain kind of person

01:15:28

watches a show like that same with dance

01:15:31

what does that mean what kind of person

01:15:34

just people with regular lives huh

01:15:37

what do you think what

01:15:38

do you think i'm getting at something

01:15:39

they just sound a little pretentious no

01:15:40

i'm not i'm not it sounds a little

01:15:42

pretentious no they're

01:15:44

you mean regular are you gonna you mean

01:15:46

regular americans good old-fashioned

01:15:48

americans

01:15:50

i love midwestern american americans me

01:15:52

i'm a midwestern american

01:15:54

i'm from [ __ ] chicago i couldn't be

01:15:55

more midwest no

01:15:57

what am i you're hollywood [ __ ] you

01:16:01

i'm not hollywood bro i grew up in the

01:16:04

suburbs with regular christians and

01:16:06

everything too i agree with christians

01:16:07

too but i know but at some point right

01:16:09

you and i chose look at your [ __ ] if

01:16:12

i look at your phone

01:16:14

blake griffin oh there's so many [ __ ]

01:16:15

songs on your phone because that's for

01:16:18

work no it's not you live everyone

01:16:20

listening this

01:16:21

piece of [ __ ] is the most hollywood

01:16:24

scumbag i've ever [ __ ] seen which one

01:16:26

of us lives in the hollywood hills

01:16:28

which one of us lives in the hollywood

01:16:29

hills i don't live in the hollywood

01:16:30

house which one none of us do because i

01:16:31

don't live in the hollywood hills okay

01:16:33

you live in the hills i live on a hill i

01:16:35

live in what does that make i live in

01:16:37

the flag you live in the flat i live in

01:16:38

the flats but in a nice i live in a

01:16:40

compound in a flat your house you're not

01:16:42

even in a house you're not you guys live

01:16:44

in the hills who's more hollywood him or

01:16:46

me

01:16:49

both of you jules you're [ __ ] fired

01:16:52

lift up the [ __ ] i have a question

01:16:54

thank god

01:16:56

where's the hollywood hills

01:16:58

throw that thing at her

01:17:01

you've never been to the hollywood hills

01:17:02

no

01:17:04

have you ever seen the hollywood sign

01:17:06

yeah yeah that's where the hills are

01:17:09

look at that to the hollywood hills

01:17:11

right there in the mountain

01:17:13

you've been over laurel canyon right

01:17:15

yeah that's the hollywood that's the

01:17:16

hollywood hills those are what the

01:17:17

houses look like yeah

01:17:20

and and producer mostly producers yeah

01:17:23

mostly people that don't actually like

01:17:25

act or perform

01:17:26

we're sandwiched between two producers

01:17:28

yeah the guys the guys that move money

01:17:29

around the most that's who lives in all

01:17:31

of these yeah

01:17:32

that's a nice house people that are able

01:17:33

to just know people and that's how they

01:17:35

make a ton of money

01:17:36

meanwhile we back we break our backs and

01:17:39

um

01:17:40

then one day they don't want you anymore

01:17:42

but those guys get to keep living up

01:17:43

there and we don't the hollywood hills

01:17:45

is for

01:17:46

uber rich

01:17:48

like that house has got to be 15 20

01:17:50

million dollars yeah sebastian money

01:17:52

that's the i mean what was his house

01:17:54

they told they said 26 million is that

01:17:57

his house no

01:17:59

sebastian montesso's house was at least

01:18:00

20 million a good family friend of mine

01:18:03

just broke it's public knowledge so i

01:18:04

can say it yeah they broke the real

01:18:06

estate record of price per square foot

01:18:08

in

01:18:09

in malibu make no mistake this is not me

01:18:11

nobody i this is not my mind

01:18:13

they bought it's not even the number

01:18:14

it's the price per square foot what 11.8

01:18:17

they bought pamela anderson look up

01:18:18

pamela anderson's house it'll show you

01:18:19

to be top story 11.8 million dollars

01:18:23

yeah and it's about the size of it's a

01:18:25

little bit bigger

01:18:26

look at that look at the house

01:18:28

11.8 million for that little bungalow

01:18:30

yeah

01:18:31

it's only 2 600 square feet oh

01:18:34

my god 2600 square feet do you know how

01:18:36

small that is yeah look at this

01:18:39

eight million

01:18:41

okay yeah divided by twenty six hundred

01:18:43

square foot house though that's four

01:18:45

forty five hundred dollars per square

01:18:47

foot four thousand dollars per square

01:18:49

foot oh my god what's the average court

01:18:51

square footage in america google that

01:18:52

average square footage in america it's a

01:18:54

beautiful home it's beautiful beautiful

01:18:57

average average price per square foot in

01:18:59

america

01:19:02

this is look at that four they broke a

01:19:03

record in los angeles real estate it's

01:19:05

insane

01:19:06

the average is 122 dollars

01:19:10

divided by 122

01:19:12

that's 37 times the national average is

01:19:14

what this person paid for 37

01:19:17

[ __ ] times that's insane

01:19:19

they're rich they got a lot it's malibu

01:19:22

mel gibson lives there

01:19:24

i mean his i think his neighbor is i

01:19:25

think their neighbor is um

01:19:28

harrison ford or something like that

01:19:29

yeah

01:19:31

does that matter where is it see who's

01:19:33

hollywood

01:19:34

nice this worked so you love it i say

01:19:37

it's ridiculous and you go it makes

01:19:38

sense it's either harrison

01:19:40

or when i lived on beechwood that what

01:19:41

the lady next door did to me the one

01:19:43

that ate poop the one that like yelled

01:19:45

at me before not picking up dog poop

01:19:47

right and they put fliers all over the

01:19:48

town yeah i either get harrison or that

01:19:50

i pick harrison every time there's a

01:19:52

middle and if that makes me [ __ ]

01:19:53

hollywood you are

01:19:55

no you are hollywood george george it's

01:19:57

bobby holly who's more hollywood george

01:20:00

can't pete uh interact a little

01:20:03

who's more hollywood

01:20:07

um

01:20:10

can i tell you something real fast

01:20:11

before you answer you're you're on the

01:20:12

talking plop you're chopping you're on

01:20:14

the chalk and glock you're on a check-in

01:20:16

clock you're on

01:20:22

so let me tell you something you're on

01:20:23

the chalking glock yeah yeah just know

01:20:24

that

01:20:25

all of you

01:20:26

george included you're on the chalking

01:20:28

glock as well yeah

01:20:30

why does that sound racist you know you

01:20:32

hey that [ __ ] is a chalk and

01:20:33

glock you know him yeah yeah you're on

01:20:35

the track right that's our next podcast

01:20:36

the chalking glock the trucking glock

01:20:39

pete well who's more hollywood

01:20:41

um

01:20:43

damn it

01:20:45

pipe up kid let's go have a stance

01:20:48

andrew

01:20:49

whoa

01:20:51

do you know why he said that because he

01:20:53

because because he knows because he

01:20:54

knows the truth no honestly no because

01:20:57

because people literally because pete

01:20:58

works with me i drive

01:21:00

a pretty

01:21:02

damaged prius that's because

01:21:04

fancy cars that's hollywood that's

01:21:07

because you're lazy i like nice cars i

01:21:09

walk into your house it's like a

01:21:11

showroom in there you walk into her it's

01:21:13

like a [ __ ] animal farm

01:21:16

my house has a showroom because we have

01:21:17

to rent it out we can't afford to live

01:21:19

in it

01:21:21

while we're waiting in hollywood nothing

01:21:23

is hollywood you hang out with hollywood

01:21:25

folks i do not you don't hang out with

01:21:27

anybody because you're too lazy no no

01:21:28

one wants to hang out with me yes they

01:21:30

do you're lazy okay no they don't

01:21:32

tomorrow night let's go out you want to

01:21:33

go out with a bunch of people yeah

01:21:34

tomorrow morning i'm going to hawaii

01:21:36

exactly

01:21:36

for to do what to [ __ ] shoot a tv

01:21:39

show shine shoes [ __ ] you shoot a tv

01:21:41

show uh uh what's your name on the show

01:21:43

what else wong what is your name on the

01:21:45

show chiang chong's with plural yeah

01:21:47

yeah listen

01:21:50

yeah i am not there's you are definitely

01:21:52

more highlighted in hollywood who can we

01:21:53

ask you

01:21:54

have you ever gotten your nails done

01:21:55

never

01:21:56

look at how shitty my hands are have you

01:21:58

gotten a facial

01:22:00

just from this guy i know in west

01:22:01

hollywood

01:22:02

this guy might have gotten a face no

01:22:03

i've never gotten a facial who can we

01:22:04

call to ask who's more hollywood i'll

01:22:06

call somebody right now who

01:22:08

i'll i'll call somebody right now we

01:22:10

have to settle the score of who's more

01:22:11

hollywood you're definitely way more

01:22:12

hollywood than me you wear shirts and

01:22:14

bands you don't even like all right

01:22:17

okay you wear golden goose shoes

01:22:19

pre-dirtied up shoes

01:22:21

do you talk hauling

01:22:26

griff you're on the podcast i need you

01:22:28

to settle the score with me real fast

01:22:29

it's griffin okay

01:22:31

bobby and i are fighting about who's

01:22:32

more hollywood and i say clearly it's

01:22:35

bobby he says it's me and the the

01:22:36

cowards in the office won't take a real

01:22:39

statement no no they're afraid of losing

01:22:40

their jobs pete said that andrew was

01:22:42

more hollywood and really think about

01:22:44

your answer here eric griff who's more

01:22:45

hollywood me or bobby

01:22:47

oh man this is actually tougher than i

01:22:49

think

01:22:50

uh i mean if i'm being honest but bobby

01:22:53

is more hollywood yes

01:22:55

thank you griff i love you to death i'll

01:22:57

call you after

01:22:59

yeah please all right

01:23:01

and he's our most honest friend

01:23:02

literally our most honest friend i don't

01:23:04

trust it you don't trust our our most

01:23:06

let's just call no one is more honest

01:23:07

than griff oh let's just randomly call

01:23:09

the comedy store and talk to whoever the

01:23:12

phone can't ever picks up the phone

01:23:14

all right

01:23:15

that's fine

01:23:16

you have to tell him you're on the show

01:23:17

i know

01:23:27

hey bobby what's up

01:23:28

hey what's up are you working the phones

01:23:31

yes i am this is jake

01:23:33

hi jake i know who you are and i love

01:23:35

you um you're on the podcast of bad

01:23:37

friends right now

01:23:39

oh okay okay you may not know what that

01:23:41

is it's a i have a podcast you know what

01:23:43

bad friends is

01:23:45

uh i haven't seen it but i know what it

01:23:47

is it's me and andrew santino have a

01:23:48

podcast

01:23:50

yeah okay so i just gonna ask you a

01:23:51

question because we're just calling

01:23:52

random people

01:23:54

okay okay

01:23:55

who's more hollywood in your eyes

01:23:58

all right

01:23:59

me or andrew santino and be honest and

01:24:01

there's gonna be no hard feelings

01:24:03

[Laughter]

01:24:06

uh

01:24:08

i feel like it's even but andrew seems a

01:24:10

little more like low-key hollywood

01:24:13

and then

01:24:14

yeah and whereas you are much more uh

01:24:17

seemingly outspoken and

01:24:19

out there hollywood right on he's out

01:24:21

there hollywood you're right dude he's

01:24:22

like ostentatious and annoying and

01:24:24

demanding and bratty

01:24:27

that is that jake that's your final

01:24:28

answer thank you jake

01:24:30

uh yes final answer okay thank you jake

01:24:33

i love you

01:24:34

[ __ ] piece of [ __ ] he's right i gotta

01:24:36

get it one more i'll keep going

01:24:38

this is great keep swinging cause

01:24:40

everyone's gonna tell you the truth and

01:24:41

you're gonna feel what it really is no

01:24:43

they're not you're mr hollywood i'm not

01:24:45

miss shut the [ __ ] up

01:24:48

nothing about me and you have to call by

01:24:49

the way you have to call a source adam

01:24:51

egatt

01:24:52

great

01:24:53

great oh this is perfect great the guy

01:24:55

for people that don't know he's the guy

01:24:56

that used to manage the comedy store

01:24:58

before uh he became a uh prostitute in

01:25:00

austin he's a male prostitute in austin

01:25:02

yeah

01:25:03

but he only does orals

01:25:05

yeah your call has been forwarded to an

01:25:07

automatic wow can you believe he did

01:25:09

that to you

01:25:10

he's probably doing something he's

01:25:11

[ __ ] hurt no what do you mean he's

01:25:12

probably busy let me see if i can get a

01:25:14

hold of him

01:25:15

adam egret let's see if he answers my

01:25:17

phone call well he knows where he's

01:25:18

going

01:25:19

fine

01:25:22

are you facetiming him he doesn't only

01:25:24

have face fight audio

01:25:31

it's like a it's a race

01:25:33

[ __ ]

01:25:34

you both look so hollywood right there

01:25:36

your phone's up trying to calling famous

01:25:38

people george hollywood you're on the

01:25:40

talking glock

01:25:42

watch it okay

01:25:43

okay no one's picking up one more time i

01:25:45

got to get can i tell you something this

01:25:47

is how unhollywood we are none of our

01:25:48

friends are picking up our phone calls

01:25:51

this is the most hollywood proof that no

01:25:52

one wants to pick up our phone who is it

01:25:55

you'll see

01:26:00

no one's picking up who is it who else

01:26:01

that's tom segura

01:26:03

oh yeah he's definitely not gonna yeah

01:26:04

yeah should we call rogan

01:26:06

no come on let's call joe

01:26:09

no he's not going to be he's not going

01:26:10

to say anything yeah you will

01:26:12

yeah whitney cummings sure

01:26:14

last one sure call whitney all right

01:26:15

last one

01:26:18

she's probably drinking blood or

01:26:19

something

01:26:24

what do you want bobby

01:26:25

something like that yeah

01:26:27

panic

01:26:29

you know how scrooge mcduck had a vault

01:26:31

of money you know she has one of those

01:26:32

in her basement she swims in money in

01:26:34

the morning someone says how does she

01:26:36

how does she stay so young and active

01:26:38

swims and money in the morning

01:26:40

coins text me text me that's her

01:26:42

voicemail text me we're not going to get

01:26:44

anybody what does this prove

01:26:46

that we both suck

01:26:47

on hollywood that we're both not

01:26:49

hollywood that's what the oh there she

01:26:50

is

01:26:51

[ __ ]

01:26:55

hey whitney whitney we're you're on bad

01:26:57

friends real quick

01:26:58

uh oh god okay i just want to ask one

01:27:00

quick question just real quick it's

01:27:02

we're just calling our friends oh yeah

01:27:04

no i do not want to do a television show

01:27:06

with you

01:27:08

that's not it no i do not want to

01:27:10

co-host your podcast when you're in

01:27:11

hawaii no no no

01:27:12

mediocre who do you think time out hey

01:27:14

first of all be nice be nice to bobby

01:27:17

we're giving you a boost right now

01:27:20

how about a guest star on dave

01:27:24

thank you can i tell you something you

01:27:26

want to know something yeah i can say

01:27:27

because the episode's already out the

01:27:28

first episode we were in korea i

01:27:30

literally said what about bobby lee

01:27:33

for any character in korea and they go

01:27:35

why can't it be like a korean spa maybe

01:27:37

or like a

01:27:39

massage envy or like a like um

01:27:42

you know like comedy like a spa shooting

01:27:45

like hilarious stuff we wanted to put

01:27:47

him in i asked to put him in the korean

01:27:48

episode and and sonny you know sonny

01:27:50

yeah he said he said they actually

01:27:52

pitched it but there was no role for him

01:27:55

so they wanted you in there but there

01:27:57

was nothing funny they were korean armed

01:27:59

guards

01:28:00

so yeah i did try to get them in wit how

01:28:02

many shows have you tried to get us in

01:28:03

how many shows have you tried to get us

01:28:05

in bobby i've ever heard how many shows

01:28:07

have you tried to get us in with i think

01:28:09

we're can we get to the [ __ ] point of

01:28:11

the [ __ ] we're off on a bad start

01:28:13

all right right because your black ass

01:28:14

normally has a point

01:28:17

we shouldn't have called her this is me

01:28:18

well no let's say something he's nasty

01:28:20

it means no let's say tonight well okay

01:28:22

this is my only chance to ever be on bad

01:28:23

friends that's exactly right but just

01:28:26

just be honest with us okay

01:28:28

who's more hollywood andrew santino or

01:28:31

bobby lee

01:28:33

andrew santino hands down no way

01:28:36

i love you whitney [ __ ] you dude [ __ ]

01:28:39

you i'm gonna give you a nice gift go

01:28:40

drink more

01:28:54

she said anderson do you know hands down

01:28:57

bad source

01:28:59

eric griffin said you all right so we

01:29:00

asked everybody to submit some videos

01:29:03

um how many do you have let's just let's

01:29:06

see a few sir who's gonna get invited to

01:29:07

bobby's 50th birthday party

01:29:09

oh i'm excited how many do we have we've

01:29:11

got a lot but we can play we can play

01:29:12

some now and some some later because we

01:29:14

have plenty of time

01:29:17

hey uh bobby andrew uh i'm just

01:29:20

submitting um an application elephant

01:29:23

trunk party with bobby on his 50th

01:29:24

birthday

01:29:26

uh i got two shots

01:29:28

uh

01:29:29

some double vax all that good stuff

01:29:31

i believe in masks i think masks save

01:29:34

lives okay uh

01:29:36

i like uh i like your guys and your

01:29:38

comedy and everything like that i like

01:29:40

this guy i got a couple cats so you know

01:29:43

i'm i'm a wild guy i'm also sober so i

01:29:46

won't i won't be doing any crazy

01:29:48

drinking or anything like that

01:29:56

[Music]

01:30:01

irish my mom's nigerian and my dad is

01:30:04

irish so

01:30:05

i'm technically half ginger as well so

01:30:07

i've got uh like you know it's a full

01:30:10

dose of if it's a little worse

01:30:13

[Music]

01:30:15

i like them i like them um okay

01:30:19

i don't know a flag or a

01:30:21

check mark do a check mark next to him

01:30:23

so you like him yeah logan he doesn't

01:30:25

seem like he's gonna be intrusive

01:30:27

he doesn't seem like he he yeah okay

01:30:29

here's another dude here's me here's

01:30:30

andrew

01:30:31

okay move the player

01:30:34

uh happy birthday bobby in advance happy

01:30:37

50th you an old [ __ ]

01:30:39

um

01:30:40

i just wanted to

01:30:42

tell you why i should come to your party

01:30:44

um fun at parties uh you know i'm

01:30:47

probably gonna get [ __ ] up because you

01:30:49

know you can't you you know you want to

01:30:51

be lame when you're on 50th

01:30:53

uh which is cool i get it but you know

01:30:55

i'll get [ __ ] up for the both of us

01:30:57

you know

01:30:58

and uh you know it'll be a good time so

01:31:01

uh

01:31:02

we out he's on the pooper i love the

01:31:04

pooper guys you think he's cute he's

01:31:06

okay okay cute what do you mean because

01:31:08

you're gonna be there i want i want

01:31:09

something

01:31:10

he looks like he's [ __ ] 30. yeah

01:31:12

you're right sorry my bad

01:31:15

i mean you can say he's cute i guess

01:31:17

what all right remove that move move

01:31:18

that play bar physically

01:31:20

there we go

01:31:23

what's up bad friends my name's kyle i'm

01:31:26

submitting this video to be invited to

01:31:27

general robert e lee's big 50th birthday

01:31:30

party man whew hawaii five oh halfway to

01:31:34

a hundred man way to go

01:31:36

papaya yeah

01:31:38

there you go the slept king

01:31:40

andrew

01:31:42

jules fancy bee

01:31:45

pink dick

01:31:46

love to meet you all

01:31:48

i [ __ ] think we have a blast man a

01:31:51

little bit about myself um

01:31:53

sometimes i like to drink water while

01:31:55

i'm peeing and i pretend that it's going

01:31:57

straight through me

01:31:58

uh funny [ __ ] my favorite central

01:32:00

position is trial and error

01:32:04

uh that's about it though um i'd love to

01:32:06

meet you guys i think i'd be a lot of

01:32:08

fun

01:32:09

i know how to party i like this guy so

01:32:11

let's give it up to you they're all good

01:32:13

being a bad friend i can't invite

01:32:14

everyone what's the criteria here i mean

01:32:17

it's your party yeah i'll have to go

01:32:19

through it again any women or is this

01:32:20

all dudes i mean it's probably mostly

01:32:22

dude

01:32:23

can i tell you an idea before you play

01:32:24

the next video yeah

01:32:26

when he said he wants to meet everybody

01:32:28

and i'm sorry i'm eating right now it's

01:32:29

only because we're doing this at an off

01:32:31

time because bobby's got a bobby's

01:32:32

hollywood so he's got to go

01:32:34

um

01:32:36

i i do think and i'm being genuine when

01:32:38

i say this people are going to want to

01:32:40

come and meet people and say hi

01:32:44

wouldn't it be cool

01:32:46

if we put

01:32:48

george like in a cage or

01:32:50

what if we put george upside down

01:32:52

suspended by his ankles

01:32:54

in the boiling pot like we were going to

01:32:56

do before

01:32:57

and if people donate money the more

01:32:58

don't and it goes to charity

01:33:00

then the lower he goes into the pot

01:33:03

of real pot

01:33:04

boiling water

01:33:06

so we hang george upside down yeah if

01:33:08

you donate all the money for that is

01:33:09

going to go to your our favorite

01:33:10

charities to support because you don't

01:33:12

need you don't need people's money we

01:33:13

want to donate

01:33:16

do you want their money yes oh okay well

01:33:19

we'll keep it and just tell them it's

01:33:20

for charity okay okay so can we do

01:33:22

something to torture george at your

01:33:23

party yeah

01:33:24

yeah we're gonna boil george all right

01:33:26

guys we're gonna boil george we're just

01:33:27

letting you know in advance we're gonna

01:33:28

be boiling jewelry george is this all

01:33:30

guys adam eagan go ahead on the phone

01:33:32

yeah

01:33:34

adam hey buddy so i'm with ander santino

01:33:37

you're on bad friends real quick

01:33:40

oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ]

01:33:42

you just have to answer a question i

01:33:43

miss you i love you can you answer a

01:33:46

question can you ask to answer a

01:33:47

question

01:33:48

sure and you can be completely honest be

01:33:50

honest be honest between me and between

01:33:53

me and andrew

01:33:55

who's more hollywood

01:33:59

oh santino for sure

01:34:02

i love you adam why i miss you and i'll

01:34:04

talk to you later okay i love you so

01:34:06

much [ __ ] you i love you stay in austin

01:34:07

you're peaceful [ __ ] real

01:34:10

this is real dude no by the way you know

01:34:12

why he got kicked out of hollywood he

01:34:13

got ran out of l.a it's a fact he got

01:34:15

ran out of la because he's he because

01:34:18

he's a kook bag and we don't want him

01:34:19

around that's right we don't want you

01:34:20

anymore hollywood let's go here shut the

01:34:22

[ __ ] up

01:34:23

i'm not it's so funny i'm so

01:34:26

not hollywood still hollywood i'm more

01:34:27

man of the people than you are by far i

01:34:29

play golf what's wrong with golf

01:34:31

hollywood

01:34:32

everybody plays [ __ ] they're all

01:34:34

hollywood if you don't play golf you're

01:34:35

not hollywood that's not true yes it is

01:34:38

it's gross america plays golf not every

01:34:40

american it's a lazy guy's sport no it's

01:34:43

not yes it is it's it's way you and your

01:34:45

rich friends hobnob

01:34:47

right and create these projects and

01:34:49

stuff on the [ __ ] course i've been

01:34:52

busting my ass now you try to get jobs

01:34:53

for [ __ ] 15 years you've been sitting

01:34:55

on your little korean ass getting stuff

01:34:57

handed to you for 15 years let's see

01:34:59

what she says

01:35:02

okay i'll make this short and sweet you

01:35:04

you've got to pick me

01:35:06

you guys live in my ear

01:35:08

all day every day

01:35:09

at work

01:35:10

like if it's not

01:35:13

tiger belly if it's about friends like

01:35:15

you guys live

01:35:16

in my ear okay so this is a [ __ ]

01:35:19

privilege to celebrate the 50th birthday

01:35:21

with you bobby with andrew with lyla

01:35:24

with rudy with everybody with all the

01:35:26

crew so say no more she's coming she's

01:35:28

coming push pause

01:35:30

she's coming she's coming she has to

01:35:32

come i don't even give a [ __ ] what's

01:35:33

left mark her as a absolutely say what's

01:35:36

her name i can't read it

01:35:38

i think it's uh

01:35:42

yeah she's [ __ ] coming anybody that

01:35:44

has to deliver mail to people all day

01:35:46

long and tirelessly delivers like her

01:35:49

next person she's coming move the bar

01:35:51

dude hey bobby hello

01:35:53

hey klyla hey tiger belly family

01:35:56

bad friends family

01:35:58

my name is ashton

01:36:00

i'm a registered nurse here in san

01:36:02

antonio texas this is my fiance soon to

01:36:05

be wife victoria

01:36:07

she's a music therapist right now

01:36:09

and so i think the reason why we would

01:36:12

be

01:36:12

excited to go

01:36:14

to your 50th birthday party would just

01:36:16

be hangout

01:36:18

i'm sure you get this a lot of course

01:36:20

that i've been a fan of you since mad tv

01:36:23

i used to

01:36:25

run home from middle of work on my lunch

01:36:27

break

01:36:28

just to watch episodes to see if you

01:36:30

were in them

01:36:32

so you're my favorite comedian of all

01:36:34

time

01:36:35

so

01:36:36

why do you think we should go so i

01:36:38

definitely think we should go because

01:36:39

because he made me do this look forward

01:36:41

to your podcast

01:36:43

that's how he de-stresses from his day

01:36:45

you know he has a really stressful job

01:36:47

so to be able to listen to you guys is

01:36:51

like a big

01:36:52

you know relief for him this is your

01:36:54

birthday i want it to be as special as

01:36:56

it's going to be for you and you know

01:36:57

what you know what it's going to be your

01:36:58

birthday hollywood themed

01:37:00

[Laughter]

01:37:03

thank you for being a bad friend

01:37:06

[Music]

01:37:11

tom

01:37:13

so me and andrew are doing bad friends

01:37:14

you're on on air

01:37:16

yeah i just have one question for you is

01:37:18

that

01:37:18

okay everybody

01:37:20

just in your heart of hearts and just

01:37:22

really be honest

01:37:23

who do you think is more hollywood

01:37:25

andrew or bobby lee

01:37:28

oh man

01:37:30

that's really tough like you're both

01:37:33

kind of like pieces of [ __ ] in a way

01:37:36

yeah

01:37:38

but it's kind of like which who's like

01:37:40

the more rotten piece of [ __ ] yeah yeah

01:37:43

yeah you know who it is tom

01:37:45

tom yeah

01:37:47

i'm gonna i'm gonna side with my white

01:37:48

brother on this one

01:37:52

wait wait excuse me

01:37:54

i'm going to side with my caucasian

01:37:56

friend

01:38:02

thank you tommy i want to just listen to

01:38:04

my words right now yeah listen to listen

01:38:05

to his words you break my heart yeah

01:38:08

it's barely there it's barely [ __ ]

01:38:10

there you break my heart love you tommy

01:38:12

i love you tom all right bye

01:38:14

bye

01:38:18

even is the great

01:38:21

[Music]

Badges

This episode stands out for the following:

70
Funniest
65
Most unserious (in a good way)
60
Most memeable
60
Best performance

Episode Highlights

Friendship Dynamics
A playful banter about being bad friends.
“You two are bad friends!”
@ 01m 59s
August 16, 2021
Recognition at Panda Express
A funny moment about being recognized in public.
“I was recognized just at the Panda Express!”
@ 12m 31s
August 16, 2021
Crocodile Attacks in the Philippines
A humorous guess on crocodile attack statistics leads to surprising revelations.
“I bet you it's gonna surprise you.”
@ 19m 40s
August 16, 2021
Cheating at the Zoo
A comedic take on rooting for animals in zoo incidents, revealing a playful side.
“I always yell cheating.”
@ 25m 54s
August 16, 2021
Kim's Harsh Reality
Kim walks up to Eric and says he's going to be a big star, then ignores the speaker.
“Honestly, you’re gonna be a very big star.”
@ 36m 43s
August 16, 2021
Embarrassing Mistakes
The speaker reflects on feeling dumb after messing up a scene, realizing nobody cares.
“You feel dumb, you really feel dumb.”
@ 40m 09s
August 16, 2021
Julianna's TED Talk
Julianna Kuhn introduces her favorite boy band, One Direction, with infectious energy.
“I hope you’re your name!”
@ 53m 53s
August 16, 2021
Buried Alive Dilemma
A comedic debate about the fear of being buried alive versus other torturous deaths.
“I think I’ll sleep and just wait until I die.”
@ 01h 02m 19s
August 16, 2021
Taxi Joke
A funny quip about looking like a taxi, highlighting childhood insecurities.
“You look like a taxi coming down the street.”
@ 01h 11m 53s
August 16, 2021
Midwestern Pride
A proud declaration of identity amidst Hollywood banter.
“I love midwestern American Americans.”
@ 01h 15m 52s
August 16, 2021
Whitney's Verdict
Whitney Cummings humorously declares Andrew more Hollywood than Bobby.
“Andrew Santino hands down.”
@ 01h 28m 33s
August 16, 2021
A Fan's Heartfelt Message
A fan expresses their admiration for Bobby and the joy his podcast brings.
“You guys live in my ear all day every day.”
@ 01h 35m 06s
August 16, 2021

Episode Quotes

Key Moments

Crocodile Facts19:40
Online Therapy21:52
Embarrassing Encounter48:28
One Direction Facts54:13
Jealousy1:11:37
Childhood Insecurities1:11:41
Family Humor1:11:54
Party Plans1:30:42

Words per Minute Over Time

Vibes Breakdown

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Oliver Tree Fights Bobby | Ep 186 | Bad Friends

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Rudy & Fancy's Betrayal | Ep 91 | Bad Friends

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Bad Friends Beef! Featuring Erik Griffin | Ep 28 | Bad Friends

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Andrew & Bobby Hide a Body | Ep 79 | Bad Friends

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