00:00:00
what's going on here i can read things man what's going on here um well what's happening is uh
00:00:09
you're not we're not gonna put this out is andres abandoned us so everybody
00:00:13
needs to go to george underscore kimmel and follow me on instagram because andres he's a he's a clout thief
00:00:21
everybody knows he's a cloud thief that's my clout that he's taking i've slaved away for six years to build
00:00:28
up that clout i've slaved away for you for over nine years but you know and uh andres just
00:00:35
made you bro yeah i've made you bro yeah that's true um i slaved a way to help
00:00:41
i know we helped each other but i'm just saying without me there is no you without me there's a 75 percent you have
00:00:50
oh that's online that's fine 75 that doesn't hurt you think you think he's do you think
00:00:58
you think you think you think 25 of you is because of him online you online you not the not anything else
00:01:04
that's a quarter of your yeah on the internet he thinks he built i found those fans you're the one that
00:01:10
told people not to follow him is this his defense right now yeah this is defensive well what do you want to do
00:01:14
you want to tell the fans to not follow him still well i told i told um the fans that we
00:01:20
want to bring his [ __ ] followers to a thousand how many are you at right now um i went up to like 17 18.
00:01:26
what is what's fancy at uh he's at 20's 27 now i think that he had he does not deserve any of those
00:01:36
he deserves 2 000 followers he didn't even know what instagram was when instagram you know
00:01:40
when instagram came out andres thought it was a filter app you never know other people ever seen the photos you're never
00:01:47
going to he did not even know people could see the photos and now he has more followers than me i have to take a shot
00:01:51
how does that i think how does that [Laughter] you two are bad friends who are these
00:02:01
two idiots white dude i'm an asian dude you two are disgusting oh you two or something we're bad
00:02:10
friends what's that for my tito cheeto tour shirts guys is this you're just blowing up huh the uh the
00:02:19
i'm the t-shirts i'm selling on sale i'm just selling my image on the road but
00:02:22
you're there you're doing projects with other people you're i'm not doing
00:02:26
projects with anybody else hollywood stuff and you're leaving me in the dust
00:02:29
huh you went to you're going to hawaii again you went to new york again you keep going ever you're jet setting i'm
00:02:35
staying in la begging for work please please no no you're bro please currently
00:02:41
on a show as a regular a show it's over but are you not a regular on a show yeah
00:02:46
but who knows if it ever comes on a regular on no show dog who knows if it ever comes back i do two lines here oh
00:02:51
mr meester you want me to carry the laundry yeah those are the kind of parts i get
00:02:55
first of all you need to turn the light off is that what you do in magnum pi yeah is that your role
00:03:02
magnum i drive your car thanks a lot wang here's the keys and sometimes i i like uh hold on to the car
00:03:10
and go like that what's the name of your character on the show ching chong is it
00:03:15
ching chong plural oh there's multiple of you yeah i'm like five ching chong than one it's like the
00:03:21
olsen twins they had to get two yeah so one of you gets tired yeah the [ __ ] that
00:03:24
i do when i was in hungary when you were when you were in hungary shooting a massive kevin hart movie bro
00:03:30
grow up i wasn't in the movie i lied i was eli roth's shoeshine boy were you
00:03:37
yeah shine him up boy like because he needs to wear every between every setup when he's setting up the camera he needs
00:03:43
new shoes he you recycle shoes and i'm scrubbing and he says do the accent i started me wrong
00:03:50
right wrong right do you really do that for yeah man you think i'm blowing up dude you're
00:03:57
blowing up i got when i was in new york yeah what were you doing in new york bob i'll tell you
00:04:02
what i was doing yeah let me know streets cleanings street cleaning yeah with a machine or
00:04:07
by yourself by myself just with your hands jeans broke all the street cleaners bro yeah and
00:04:13
they go use your face but i i go but i have do the accent bought a hab right you have to do an accent yeah and
00:04:22
then i they go um i have to dust right use your [ __ ] [ __ ] face oh my god they say that right so i'm like
00:04:32
why would they ask your face like i'm like a rickshaw oh you rick there's some
00:04:36
guys pulling me like a rickshaw i'm like [ __ ] it hey why do they say use your face is it
00:04:43
because it's that exactly because it's flat so what i'm saying to you is that all
00:04:50
these things that i've been doing yeah are all lies so you've been lying to me
00:04:54
about all the work you've been doing i apologize it came it's so weird it came
00:04:56
out this way because it feels like you're doing hollywood stuff i'm not doing hollywood stuff i'm not doing
00:05:00
anything my [ __ ] but the tv show is in its last and final week but you got another thing
00:05:04
with another guy i do i'm developing a thing with another man a pretty big guy
00:05:09
will you ask him this too ask that guy yeah if he has a problem with me i'll text him right now because yeah
00:05:17
text him right now honestly well he's not going to text back right now yeah just find out yeah if bobby thinks that
00:05:21
you have a problem with him why do you why do you have an issue because when he was a young kid
00:05:26
this is 15 years ago wait you know him from that that many years i know when he started yeah
00:05:31
he used to have these the best parties of all time how like house parties what the house
00:05:36
parties you mean yeah yeah yeah i'm done and what did you do it i sent it all
00:05:40
right people by the way was on his phone only when he asked me so um he said and then we like every year or two twice
00:05:49
a year i would go to his party and i would do i'm the dancer well yeah at every party i'm the dancer yeah
00:05:55
you know i mean i just get into it you just have a stroke no no but i get my shoulders into it oh
00:05:59
you're that kind of guy yeah i i you know i do the noise you know and the music goes right and
00:06:07
everyone there's always a see that there's a crowd no they part oh for you
00:06:12
yeah like a moses oh wow right and think moses moses moses moses they don't do the accident
00:06:19
they don't do that with that i don't know why they right so they do the part
00:06:21
and i do the you know what like back it when they did solid gold yeah i remember that yeah of course yeah
00:06:28
back back and get it done doing it right and i do that and i go down the [ __ ] with the sea of people
00:06:35
do it again i i turn around pop pop do it again make it why are you pinching your tits what does that have to do with
00:06:41
it why are you do you pinch your hat when you dance breath on when i do it oh you have big fat tissue yeah i'm a woman
00:06:45
oh yeah and then um so he used to have these parties and and then when he blew up
00:06:51
it was just an i got nothing from him like he never texted you or called you again yeah
00:06:56
that's just because people get busy i know i do you think so well also how okay other than me for real who else do
00:07:02
you actually text other than me who do you really text with the kalila doesn't
00:07:06
count she doesn't count george doesn't count eric griffin sometimes okay well
00:07:11
let's look at my text now yeah let's find out who else your phone's up there
00:07:14
by your squeezer who else do you text in real life all right so um let's look at my phone how about this
00:07:21
when was the last time you sent a genuine what's going on like hey what's
00:07:23
up text so this is juliana oh that's her it doesn't count but i go let's go
00:07:28
doesn't count so my mom doesn't count why it's not it's not like a friend that's like a
00:07:35
family or work because my friend jean my friend janina who are those people janina was the
00:07:40
actress i was in hungary with i shined your shoes too you shined her shoe yeah yeah yeah who's gene
00:07:46
gene is uh a producer on matt magnum pi okay who's my friend oh right um ari shafir what did you say to him
00:07:56
he's just like let's have lunch next time never going to happen why because you don't like jewish people
00:08:02
you've said that before on the show i i like i like jewish people when they look
00:08:05
a certain way if they look like liam neeson i'm in but r is your fear yeah you don't like him
00:08:13
when they look um when they look like ari no it already looks like if you drew a cartoon of a jewish person
00:08:21
like everything's exaggerated and long yeah yeah yeah no text back i know sorry yeah sorry i know i told
00:08:29
you that's okay i don't care it's okay but um so yeah i text people what was
00:08:34
the question oh yeah so so you don't you never really send out hey what's up
00:08:37
how are you text you don't do that you never do and you complain when i text you
00:08:42
unless unless what unless it's like you gonna you're gonna get something out of it
00:08:49
then you don't say anything what do you mean get something out of that you know exactly you said on the
00:08:54
episode last week you were a weasel or a rat or what what did you say yeah yeah paulie short i like you bobby
00:09:00
oh god yeah yeah so i have some friends all right anyway let's get back to the matter at hand
00:09:07
which is why we are excited to announce george has been shut down on instagram he's plummeting to the bottom of the
00:09:14
grandmother look at this 18 000 followers boob he was above 20. weren't you above 20 george dude i know
00:09:21
boys with more followers 100 we do what is it what what how many were you at i was at 21 and now it's down to 18.
00:09:29
um but i i mostly met at andres for being such a clout thief but a little bit mad at bob
00:09:35
do you think he's a clown bobby you're mad at me about what i gave you a job dog oh
00:09:41
no this is purely about instagram bobby yeah it's not nothing absolutely followers yeah but you know what it
00:09:47
means a lot to him and you know it does i know it does it means it means something else because he put his he put
00:09:52
his baby up look at that stupid picture with this baby and and a tiger belly can
00:09:56
i also say i'll tell you another thing that he does that's i know for a fact
00:10:00
salt mines of cloud i'm in the assault you're done talking now producer this is what he does and it's so gross
00:10:07
give it so if we have a local shows like if i'm playing the brea improv or irvine or
00:10:13
like even if like annie letterman is doing great or like whatever if there's
00:10:17
an event right a stand-up event let me guess go ahead it's so gross go ahead
00:10:22
he asks for does he ask for tickets for other people that you've never met before no it's worse what
00:10:28
he goes and hangs out in the lobby to fish for recognition george that's yucky literally i'm not kidding
00:10:43
you i've seen it dude george you wait in the hallway to try to see if fans are
00:10:46
going to recognize you and they do right and then he that feeling that feeds his
00:10:50
ego it feeds his ego and he's addicted to it and he like does selfies and whatnot right george do you do this
00:10:57
well i get stuck in the lobby when people see me stuck in the lobby you come into the back of the green room
00:11:02
you're even there there's no purpose we're not filming it we're not recording
00:11:05
it i just wanted to go and then like so many people came up to me to see me that
00:11:11
i got stuck yeah yeah george you're allowed to be in the green room with us and you know you can go to the back he
00:11:15
doesn't you go to the lobby on purpose yeah don't you know what he does too
00:11:19
he'll like be in the showroom and fake take photos or like fake work oh right right so that people look at
00:11:26
him right so he'll get on his knees and like do a shot line up a shot dude and then people go hey bro
00:11:34
you know those hispanics at the show oh hey what's up there he is right there yeah yeah and he
00:11:41
feeds on it and he loves it it like warms the soul it's it's sad it is george why do you
00:11:46
think what do you need in the world that you have got a beautiful wife a wonderful baby why do you need this
00:11:52
attention attraction from the pod fans no i'm just i'm just envisioning what it
00:11:56
would be like to shoot something there so sometimes i get lost in my own rocks you're gonna go back and enjoy you're
00:12:01
gonna shoot a sketch at the comedy club george can i ask you a real serious question
00:12:06
and let's be real for once i know in podcasts we [ __ ] around and this and that yeah and that's all for show i want
00:12:12
to ask you a real legitimate question and we'll edit it out if you know i mean
00:12:16
we're not too real i know we're not yeah but be honest for once in your life and
00:12:21
your life depends on it does it feel good to get recognized people from people oh yeah i was recognized just at the
00:12:31
panda express the other day uh the guy even waited outside the panda express to take a photo with you to god
00:12:38
yes what did the guy say to you at the panda express uh he said he's been a fan
00:12:41
uh since uh shoot since bo uh since when bobby was on jk news wow and he's followed the all the all of
00:12:48
the podcasts but did he say he was a fan of yours he took a photo with me yeah because
00:12:56
he can't get to the real thing it's one degree of separation right all right
00:13:00
it's like when people take you know if you go to so he's going to photoshop
00:13:03
your head on george's body right look i met bobby bobby kimmel at the or when people go to
00:13:10
like buckingham palace they want to take a photo with the queen but they can't
00:13:14
but they can't so they take a photo with the soldier [Laughter] you know that's what you are george the
00:13:19
guy with the you're the guard puffy yeah by the way the next time you take photos you're gonna have to be our
00:13:24
soldier guard you cannot smile and you cannot you cannot make any emotion just like the soldiers do you're not allowed
00:13:29
to smile or talk you just stand there stoically fine uh but do i get to be in the photos yeah but you have to stand up
00:13:35
absolutely that'll be the new thing i want to see fan photos with george stoically stan yeah so this dude you
00:13:40
know it's like and it's because at in reality you know he would never get this kind of
00:13:46
attention otherwise i'm going to say something very mean go for it no i can tell you why i don't want to
00:13:56
let's let it out i i want to see it but i feel like it's going to turn into a
00:13:59
cancer yeah if you let it sit it gets worse the kind of attention that he is getting
00:14:08
would never be based on his skill set yikes did you feel that george no because it's not real yeah yeah oh he
00:14:19
says no it's not real right so you think that if you weren't the producer of tiger belly or bad
00:14:25
friends or any of these podcasts and stuff that you would be able to gain notoriety on your own skill set
00:14:32
i'd be producing something else that was also great oh interesting and that's why
00:14:36
i like it that's interesting can i say something george confident i was being
00:14:40
mean right jokingly mean but by you saying that right now i believe you do you believe them i don't
00:14:48
i don't either i don't i don't i don't i was just trying to i don't
00:14:52
know i'm working at cvs cvs i i i can't and when i say working on tv it's not
00:14:56
one of the good jobs i i i know what job you would do night crew with the carpet
00:14:59
cleaner no even worse even worse you know how sometimes you go to like the toothbrush section or you go to the
00:15:06
aspirin section hit the button not the button but you have to have the guy open up something right yeah right right roll
00:15:11
gate so he's the guy with the key yeah and he opens up here's your guerrilla
00:15:15
game he's a keyboard he's keyboard keyboard you'll be the keyboard at cvx
00:15:18
your new name is keyboy by the way key kid yeah although the cvs i have to say george you are very skilled and talented
00:15:24
we like you you're going to do perfectly fine in this career when we fire you in
00:15:27
a week we should just fire him just to see how he how he lands yeah what do you think
00:15:32
about george ruid rude i'll be honest though rudy i like george but you don't like pete or andres
00:15:40
george okay give the order from number one two and three okay okay who and you can't be even you know it's
00:15:49
not even so let's go third third places last place is the one that you like the least and this is not because
00:15:56
no i like him but not as much as the all right so let's go number three two who's
00:16:03
three who's three come on george george be honest andreas damn you like george damn what is it though it's
00:16:19
because he panders and does whatever you say and he doesn't ever create any conflict no i think i have known him in
00:16:25
him longer she has loyalty about how long she's known but george is just a white piece of [ __ ] don't you like
00:16:30
andres he's a foreigner he like you he's a foreigner just like you he's an
00:16:34
immigrant like you i was gonna say equal no no no you went for george you you went for a
00:16:40
white and look at him by the way that's like hitler's wet dream this blonde
00:16:44
blue-eyed i mean this is the cause of all the issues in america is got a guy like george a white privileged upper
00:16:51
middle class never picked up anything heavy in his life this is the problem in the united states
00:16:56
rudy and you like this guy i'm going to say something if hitler was let's say you know those
00:17:02
hacky he would have loved george you know those have been a pretty great guy george
00:17:06
i like i like so many things about him he would love george no you know those hacky scenes that they have where you
00:17:12
know it's always about a nerd and in school where they're picking a baseball
00:17:16
team of course and they pick the last the nerd sometimes that's the guy 100 i
00:17:19
think hitler would pick him last you two yeah so like there's let's say there's a
00:17:24
hundred people right yeah and uh is choosing like a kickball team yeah how about this he needs a hundred people
00:17:30
right and there's a hundred and one people guys you're gonna be on the right
00:17:34
right to choose and it'll go down to right george and some guy scolios some scoliosis guy
00:17:42
you're eating you could barely stand up right yeah and he spends 20 minutes on
00:17:46
it he's like listen both of you offer kind of the same thing a high level of unathletic ability that
00:17:53
i just can't decide which of you is the worst i guess i'll go with scoliosis boy
00:17:58
oh and he's like the joy and scoliosis is like thanks hitler no though didn't
00:18:03
school this guy he dies right on the walk oh and then he's like okay yeah no
00:18:08
no hitler's like i guess 99 is good for me i don't needs a hundred yeah yeah it's
00:18:13
funny george you know what you love you jewelry we love you to death inside and out and and you know what should we
00:18:17
reverse this following because the fans are no no we gotta get them down to a thousand through we gotta follow so guys
00:18:23
let's get george down to a thousand please unfollow him rapidly rapidly right now in fact you know what what if
00:18:28
you've liked any of his photos go ahead and unlike his photo please click the heart and unlike it i'm going
00:18:34
to try something mean turn it black i'll try something mean yeah this is george
00:18:38
george yeah we'll get we'll get you followers right now but what are you going to do
00:18:43
for us oh my god what do you mean bobby i'm here now so fancy is not oh oh you're trying to say that that's true
00:18:52
and you know what he has the ability to fire fancy beyond our behind our backs he could he really could yeah because
00:18:58
he's stomped in here with a little bit of confidence george can you show your
00:19:00
camera down there that you're wearing um a snakeskin cowboy boots do you see this
00:19:04
he's wearing snakeskin cowboy boots today oh yeah is it real snakeskin it is you sure is
00:19:09
it real snakeskin george it's alligator skin yeah alligators what country made the shoe
00:19:15
uh i think they're made in mexico the philippines i think so are there alligators in the
00:19:20
philippines jewels gotta be yeah what do you mean they eat people all the time where i see
00:19:25
them in the zoo you're gonna go to college george yeah get into google okay i want you to i
00:19:37
want you to google how many people are are killed by alligators in the philippines a year i bet you it's gonna
00:19:42
surprise you can i make a guess yeah let's both guess two seven a year seven a year seven two two
00:19:51
seven seven how many people he'll give about alligators a year uh does crocodiles count as well yes
00:19:56
okay um ten ten two seven and ten i'm telling the zoo some zookeeper no dude this is
00:20:03
in the wild there's alligators there let's see let's see crocodile attack
00:20:10
br look at that brazen crocodile praise on a philippine town yeah but that doesn't necessarily mean anyone
00:20:15
died well go well that was it's not even it's not even google oval crocodile
00:20:20
crocodile des in philippines there it is he's got it down well well oh philippine boy eaten by crocodile in
00:20:30
latest attack there's one i guess it doesn't happen that often twelve-year-old girl survives a
00:20:36
crocodile attack and if you're alive uh that's two in 2019 then okay two in
00:20:40
2019 crocodile kills high school student in palawan is paloman in the philippines
00:20:44
yeah okay there's three 2019 20 19 19. so not same that's a different year
00:20:48
different year no these are all 2019 no they're not yes george are they all 2019
00:20:52
uh yeah all three of those were 2019. look at that crocodile each 10 year old boy alive in front of a siblings
00:20:57
2019 that's four so far oh [ __ ] go to page two this is good this is good so you're already out but jules
00:21:04
and i are still in yeah i'm out go to page two baby boy crocodile died in the philippines huge
00:21:08
saltwater croc ladies what kills fishermen in latest attack what year 2019 that's four five that's
00:21:15
five yeah uh boy eaten by saltwater crocodile latest philippines attack six it's the same kid that you're
00:21:21
[ __ ] reading over no no articles but they're all the same guy i think there's only two so far no
00:21:28
that's not true they're the same kid george are you taking note of this how
00:21:32
many people are dying by the hands of crocodiles uh i lost count because it was so many all right let's call it
00:21:36
seven and i won very good yeah better help is there something interfering with your happiness or
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00:21:46
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00:22:00
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00:22:06
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00:22:24
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they rip you know they first of all you know what they do right yeah they they or those alligators or crocodiles that
00:24:48
spin you they both do it so they spin you yeah and then they rip your limbs but you know your body when that happens
00:24:53
give up no you spin with them oh you just like you're dancing yeah yeah like
00:24:57
what the problem is is you go the opposite direction right so like if there's if he's going
00:25:03
clock counter clockwise then you go clockwise no you go no you don't go clockwise because you get ripped you go
00:25:09
with him oh you go okay and you go you know it's and eventually about 23 spins he gives
00:25:16
up he gives up yeah that makes sense right and then what i'll do is i'll
00:25:19
attach myself and go the other way sometimes what if he just stops at some point he's like i just want to have sex
00:25:23
and you're like fine just ask yeah just get concerned and then she's like where's your [ __ ]
00:25:28
you can i'm a guy oh okay fine you're fine who cares at this point yeah they they roll you
00:25:34
around and they rip your limbs off when you see at the zoo a little kid fall into the cage love it
00:25:41
i love it i wrote for the animal of course i root for the animal every time every time and
00:25:49
i want the mom to jump in there too two for one yeah yeah get it and then when they shoot the animal
00:25:54
i always go cheating i always yell cheating yeah i mean wait do the video this is so
00:26:00
mean do do raccoon in um orangutan cage did you see this video of the on the internet this week no oh
00:26:07
wait there's a recording dude it's like seven of them and they you dude it's mean but it's hilarious
00:26:14
they grab by the tail and they whip it around feel bad it's so funny i would feel so
00:26:19
bad it's so no that's not the one it's very it's got it's brand new but he gets
00:26:23
in there this poor raccoon yeah yeah and you know like orangutans they're strong
00:26:27
so strong dude they grab by the tail and they're all like watching like oh they're all like laughing and kind of
00:26:31
and the guy he swings it in the air i swear to god yeah he laughs around and throws it's so
00:26:38
awful with the raccoon what are you doing in the kitchen and when he goes he's really saying hee-haw
00:26:43
yeah orangutans you're not going to find it man you're not going to fall on the
00:26:48
youtubes you don't know how to do it it's fine um how was new york didn't you just got
00:26:52
back i went to new york and i shot um i'm on sex in the city it's great yeah
00:27:00
that's great and my you know what i'm playing um some not definitely not someone she
00:27:04
has sex with just a guess it's just a guess why do you say that do you have sex with
00:27:12
someone on the show no it's a good one yes i've never had sex with anyone on the show neither of
00:27:17
i've never been in writing no no i when i was on spleen up together they've tried to write a love scene for
00:27:22
you right what they did they had to see with me and lindsay right on the bed and
00:27:26
she said right and i got too close to her in the bed where he was having a conversation and the director goes cut
00:27:31
bobby a little bit more separation it's like oh okay and i went to the other side of the you know she called
00:27:36
him to her trailer before she's like about this love scene do you think we could what if it's just
00:27:40
like a buddy scene like we're friends but but in sex in the city you don't
00:27:43
have sex with anybody do you i mean it's a good guess yeah dude they're not going to hire someone that
00:27:50
looks like you or looks like me or looks like you're me or looks like me i'm including myself
00:27:55
yeah to be the hot guy that comes to have sex with someone sexy that's not who we are
00:27:59
we don't get hurt we're asexual yeah fine we're not asexual we're sexual
00:28:04
beings well maybe we could be gay characters yeah we're definitely not gonna be the
00:28:08
guy that comes in the cameo the hot guy cameo you can't compete with those guys
00:28:13
but you know who i love those guys are i did a scene with i did a commercial with
00:28:16
jane lynch yeah where we make out yeah and she went for it yeah because yeah she has no attraction
00:28:23
to men she doesn't you oh is that what it is well she's gay she is bobby i didn't know so i thought she was
00:28:31
like oh she's into me no oh good god no maybe she thought i was a woman you do
00:28:36
look a little feminine sometimes like a butchy little dwarf if you pulled your hair back and wore a dress you could be
00:28:41
a cute korean girl i look cute as a girl you do actually i've seen some photos you do so on on no
00:28:47
but i play um i play podcaster oh right yeah you said that that's right yeah oh there you go with jane lynch
00:28:54
yeah yeah no attraction she's not into that at all oh she's not look at this do
00:28:58
do list a list of list of um list of sexy guys on sex today or what would that be list of uh hot guys on sex
00:29:06
in the city i mean you look at the lineup that you have to go up against it's insane dude it's insane just do
00:29:11
images and let's see what comes up oh there you go second c's 15 hottest guys
00:29:16
okay you can't make this list but i'm gonna you think one day you can make
00:29:19
this list 15 probably there's no pictures go back to images maybe it's good images
00:29:26
i mean look at some of these guys okay you can't compete with these bros well those are the bad things it looks
00:29:32
sick that's a bad cop looks sick yeah he doesn't look he doesn't look great he looks hot cute
00:29:40
you can't compete with these guys bud yeah this guy look at that guy i don't
00:29:43
even know who that is yeah that's smith jarrod oh look at the [ __ ] are you a second
00:29:48
city president of smith jared's fan club over here love sexism you do love sex in
00:29:52
the city you know pete's a big fan do you really pete i really do oh wow which
00:29:56
character are you who uh pete you know all the girls that watch it they name themselves after one of the
00:30:02
characters oh they do i'm probably uh an aiden i'm not i'm not a i'm not a girl
00:30:06
so i'm going i'm an aiden pete the joke is everyone that watches the show identifies with one of the
00:30:11
female characters on the show just because but i'm not i'm not a girl pete oh
00:30:18
oh god i see why he put him at three now i see why she put you at three i mean the the unwillingness to just go
00:30:25
along with the [ __ ] [ __ ] i'm sarah all right bring up the girls cause i want to see which is which cause i'm not
00:30:30
i'm not smart oh you think you're sarah jessica parker i'm or i'm uh carrie bradshaw that's
00:30:35
sarah jessica parker right yes so this guy thinks he went from being an ancillary character being the star of
00:30:39
the [ __ ] show how delusional must you be pete pete bring up the sex and city girls and
00:30:45
we'll see who each of us are in this room do you know the sex in the city of
00:30:48
the show yeah which one are you i don't know the names but yeah there they are there they are i'm i can
00:30:54
obviously only be this is miranda i'm miranda for sure this is charlotte charlotte
00:30:58
harry and samantha samantha samantha's not on the show anymore what happened
00:31:03
i don't know you do it seems like you know and you don't want to tell me
00:31:06
because your face looks like you know well i because i told you the story what happened between her and i
00:31:13
no i never told you that story i don't think so what's the actress's name
00:31:18
um her name is um i'm just not good with this stuff and i know i already let me
00:31:22
get it what's her name pete i don't know i don't know oh you love the show
00:31:28
i just know the character i know the name's at the top of my head her name is
00:31:31
um oh rudy knows what's her name barbara palvin bob rappeller that's barbara powell yeah yeah no
00:31:42
what's her name because i have a story about her what is barbara palvin's real name
00:31:47
by the way i want to tell you something yeah yeah he's going to look it up the
00:31:50
other day i was wearing my bad friend's greatest rock and roll band of all-time
00:31:53
shirt and a dude goes i love that shirt i was like oh thanks and i'm thinking he's a
00:31:57
fan of the show i go thanks a lot man and he goes who wait who what's wait what band and i was
00:32:04
like oh he's not a fan and i was like it's a bad friend the bad friends band
00:32:08
and he's like oh sick where i thought it was another i thought it was something else i go yeah and he's
00:32:13
looking at it and then he sees the the names and he goes bleith mulave who's that and i was like oh it's george
00:32:21
trinidad they're all the members of the band and he's like oh that's that's cool
00:32:26
so this guy's gonna be googling peter blight blight's new lava george trinidad
00:32:30
trying to find out who the band is but i realized i forgot the names are at the bottom that you made up because at first
00:32:35
i'm like he can just tell this is not a real band yeah yeah and then he's
00:32:38
looking deep into it is that a bad friend's shirt that's a whiskey ginger
00:32:42
shirt oh that's a really cool shirt thanks you can have it do you have a medium yeah i'll take this off and give
00:32:46
it to you i don't know i'm not gonna wear that one wait what what do you mean
00:32:48
i'm clean i just shower skin i can't do skin the skin are you out of your mind i
00:32:52
won't disconnect my i just got out of the shower i will not do your skin to my
00:32:56
skin why because i'm white no if you're such a racist it's not that it's if it was like if it was a korean
00:33:01
guy would you do it you have a dry flaky body you and you have a you have a shitty gross body too i'm moist
00:33:07
all right go ahead kim control give me your king control story i met his this is how i met eric stone street
00:33:12
i auditioned for a commercial it was a um pepsi commercial for the super bowl or
00:33:18
something and it and michael bay directed it so it went down to two people and they and kim control was in the
00:33:28
bathtub and they were looking for one towel boy right so we were downtown i didn't know
00:33:36
who eric stone street was and we're sitting in the lobby and we're just sitting next to each other
00:33:41
and they put eric in first and the key was crushing [Music] so i go i should just go home
00:33:51
you were that discouraged because you could hear the laughs yeah i hate when you can [ __ ] hear the laughs i could
00:33:54
i couldn't do it but then i went in there i did okay i did good then they go
00:33:58
all right leave but wait in the lobby we're gonna bring the other guy back they bring the other guy back to give
00:34:02
him another shot yeah then they bring me back in ask eric and then they brought us both
00:34:08
in at the same time no yeah and you guys do it together see what happens and they
00:34:12
were laughing because him and i were just kind of so we both got it so i should i've never been really on a
00:34:19
shoot before so i didn't know what a mark was or anything like that so there
00:34:23
was this scene where kim control was in the bathtub and there was a mark and there was like one light shining toward
00:34:29
the entrance entrance when i was walking into this thing and i had 15 towels that
00:34:33
was stacked so the joke is i'm like as a towel boy coming in with these towels right and i
00:34:39
walk in and i hear cut the lie the lie [Laughter] to from michael bay holy [ __ ] and i go what line
00:34:51
i don't know what that means you're blocking the light i know but i didn't
00:34:54
know what it meant i know right so he goes see the light and i go yeah he goes you you have to feel that light on your
00:35:01
face or we can't see you so i go okay i close the door i have this [ __ ] towels too and i'm like trying to go
00:35:09
maybe if i could like you know i mean i just couldn't get the towel in and you
00:35:13
know right so i go in stop stop stop stop die i'm not kidding you he's even intense on
00:35:22
pepsi commercials yeah yeah that's inside the light the light i did it probably eight times did you
00:35:27
ever did you get it right never never so now what happens is he's now right here
00:35:34
and he grabs my face i'm not kidding you he goes like this here he turns you into the light yeah here
00:35:44
meanwhile kim could show us freezing in the time in the tub she's like you're freezing right
00:35:50
and the whole shoot was like that oh what a miserable and so she hates you she hated me yeah because you're the guy
00:35:56
that kept [ __ ] it up right and then eric would nail everything yeah right he seems very professional he knows
00:36:01
everything yeah and he's just he's like improvising he's like twirling you know
00:36:05
what i mean the whole crew me they're like the light yeah cut why is your back turned to the camera
00:36:13
[Laughter] yeah and over your shoulder where's the camera right there that's what you did but that's what
00:36:21
happened so this is what happens so now me and eric are talking and i'm like in complete shame
00:36:29
yeah right rightfully so i know you [ __ ] up i know and then eric's oh don't worry about it buddy
00:36:36
he's a nice guy right and kim control walks up to us and she looks at eric in the eyes
00:36:42
and she goes honestly you're gonna be a very big star to eric yeah wow and you're right next
00:36:48
to her literally next to each other she looks at me and she goes she just walked away
00:36:56
[ __ ] you she really just kept walking what a sweet now i love this girl yeah so what
00:37:01
is her name on the show kim katrina i don't know her real name samantha i'm a
00:37:04
samantha yeah that's me and so it's it was my bad 100 i know i was green i didn't know i
00:37:11
shouldn't have been i shouldn't even been there no you definitely should have been there but
00:37:15
that's what happens you get your lumps you do dumb [ __ ] you learn when i did it
00:37:19
when i did my episode of the office um they were done like they were so tired of doing you can tell they were
00:37:25
all kind of like krazynski was directing he was very nice and josh groban josh groban josh groban
00:37:31
love him josh groban yeah the singer josh groban josh groban i have a story about him he's he's i literally have a
00:37:36
story about he's in the episode oh really and him and he's kind of like improving in the boat a little bit
00:37:43
and i say to john i was like hey do you want me to like you know whatever the improv was i don't
00:37:48
even know and he goes yeah that's fine and i was like oh i mean do you and he goes hey man
00:37:55
whatever you want to do i i i don't care i was like oh all right all right so
00:37:59
then i'm like i'm thinking in my mind i'm thinking he trusts my [ __ ]
00:38:02
instincts but really he doesn't give a [ __ ] yeah he's like hurry up dude we
00:38:05
have other [ __ ] to do today is the tenth [ __ ] season uh we're done we're gonna
00:38:09
go home wrap it up right so then i do the scene where i'm smacking ed helms on the hand yeah on
00:38:16
the boat and it was it was my first it was my first like gig i did he goes presents he's
00:38:22
like hey man make similar to this that's why i'm saying i'm in we've been we've
00:38:26
all been here yeah he goes hey man use your left hand because your right hand is going to block that lens on the other
00:38:31
side right and i go you got it not hard at all yeah what do i do what i use the wrong hand he goes
00:38:39
dude he goes also when you go to smack him make it look like you're going to smack him like act
00:38:44
like you're going to hit him you know like like he's like you're like tapping
00:38:47
like go to hit him you know i go okay he goes also other hand right so in my mind
00:38:51
i'm like but don't hit him too hard but i don't want to really hit ed hems on
00:38:53
the hand that hard okay again wrong hand again i'm blocking the lens oh and then
00:38:58
he said this is how i know he goes hey bud hey bud hey bud same wrong hand remember that and then
00:39:03
now i feel like a child hey bud remember that like a like a little boy like a little tiny boy hey
00:39:08
buddy that's like when you say to your kid at the playground hey bud don't eat
00:39:11
the wood chips leave it on the playground right bud oh my god so then i go i go oh i'm sorry
00:39:16
i've got it nobody on the crew at this point you know sound guy's like let's go
00:39:19
you [ __ ] [ __ ] it's your left hand you know i can feel him being like left
00:39:23
hand dude let's go it's not that hard and then of course on the third take
00:39:26
same exact thing and i use the wrong hand and i miss his hand and i hit the wheel
00:39:31
did i miss his hand compared to this thing yeah and now he and then he and ed goes let's go just go to the other piece
00:39:37
and john goes yeah we'll go to the other piece moving on yeah so i had to get it i had
00:39:41
to use it from the first take when i did the first time because i [ __ ] up and i felt like such a like dude then
00:39:47
the rest of the day yeah i sat on the i sat on the boat yeah this is me in between takes
00:39:53
sitting on the boat everyone got off the boat yeah i just sat on the boat by myself
00:39:58
in the marina yeah i was so embarrassed it's so embarrassing because i didn't
00:40:01
when you're young you don't know any better yeah and you don't want to you
00:40:04
don't want to upset people and when you've already made some mistakes yeah
00:40:07
you feel dumb you really feel dumb and you're like well i'm not any good this
00:40:11
is so [ __ ] embarrassing and you and then you start going well this is going to get back to my agents and then
00:40:15
they're going to be like you [ __ ] up and you're dumb yeah but then you learn
00:40:18
as you get older nobody [ __ ] cares nobody cares nobody cares everyone's making mistakes nobody gives it nobody
00:40:24
cares as long as you're nice nobody [ __ ] cares i think you're done yeah yeah you you
00:40:29
imagine all these things well that's it but it's also what when you're doing
00:40:34
these things even if it's a big thing even if you you don't know your lines or
00:40:38
you [ __ ] up because i've seen the biggest people me too not know their lines yeah what is it
00:40:44
and then have to read it again and then get really crazy notes i mean it's just
00:40:48
the part of the process totally yeah i have josh groban's story what happened
00:40:52
by the way i never even got to i barely got to meet him he was in and out so i did a break dancing movie called kicking
00:40:58
it old school bring it up hello fresh you know when i get a hello fish box outside my front door i know
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00:41:24
you have mechanics hands yeah like you're like a mechanic from like another world yeah but my point is is this is
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be sure to sign up today that's coinbase.com bad friends oh i remember this yeah was jamie
00:43:57
kennedy in this yeah wait was it was it his movie yeah so jamie was in is he kicking it old school yeah
00:44:03
jamie kennedy yeah i don't remember any was that marina [Laughter] who are the other two right
00:44:20
uh ralphie may no is that ralphie and jb smell the spot i forget but um they'll put them on the spot
00:44:26
who's the girl maria manunos that's what i thought it said that's so
00:44:32
okay sorry i'm sorry chilly chill so when i was in canada there he is i took
00:44:37
like six months of dance dancing classes right and six months yeah so they're the the
00:44:45
dance teachers they go everyone do it you guys were training and when i did it they were like
00:44:50
they pulled me aside and they said listen chilly chill we gotta we gotta do get you a body double
00:44:56
because your dancing was so bad so bad so they i go oh okay right so i show up on set
00:45:03
and they couldn't find a man with my body so if you look at the movie it's a woman
00:45:09
it's a woman it's a korean woman it's a fat korean woman that's amazing right so
00:45:13
if you if they cut away you know i mean it's a it's a woman right do chilly youtube chili chill
00:45:19
dancing please please we have to see this i want it's not going to be online but chili chill i
00:45:26
hope so chili chill dancing oh there you are chili do you dance here guys come on
00:45:48
this is the first step on the road to becoming whatever the hell we want white guy
00:45:54
korean guy black guy super overweight mexican guy yeah that's like this is like nbc's dream yeah
00:46:02
i want to see chili chill dance so bad you gotta know when you come no i don't
00:46:07
man come on chilly it's red yeah he's in red there's chili there he is what do you say chill i
00:46:15
don't know man chili chill popcorn the funniest thing is they assumed because it's break dancing right
00:46:24
that if all these guys are like well the korean guy and the black guy got this down
00:46:28
because they're like the black guy's got it and they look at the korean guy and
00:46:31
they're like come on man this is like this has got to be i don't want to watch
00:46:35
this right now let's watch it i do want to see it chilly chill let's hear your josh groban story chili
00:46:40
chill but congrats by the way chili chill yeah very tight please don't call me chili chill man what do you mean
00:46:46
chili what are you talking about you're my chili chill boy oh my god i'm
00:46:51
blushing what's wrong with chili chill anyway all right chilly tell us your josh groban
00:46:56
story so brilliant is the movie so she she invites me to her christmas party i'm not being rude i'm looking up the
00:47:01
box office mojo for uh for kicking it old school i want to see how much money it made
00:47:06
what do you think of this i don't know let's take a guess let's do our guess
00:47:10
how much money do you think kicking it old school made in them and this is not a slight because jamie kennedy i'm not
00:47:14
making fun of you or you or anybody he's a good rebellion huh three million three million domestic
00:47:19
worldwide what are we talking domestic okay domestic three million and international how much 12 million 12
00:47:25
million all right what do you say rude domestic 1 million international international
00:47:33
5. oh well all right domestic has 4.5 million so 4 million international yeah is [ __ ] gonna blow
00:47:41
your mind what ready yeah 189 000 a hundred thousand dollars overseas that's like eight people went to go see
00:47:52
it yeah because when my when my chili when my dad was still alive rest in peace he went to the eight
00:48:00
o'clock showing with my mom opening weekend in arizona my dad called me at eight o'clock and he
00:48:06
and his this is i can this rings in my head yeah when i go to bed he goes there's nobody here
00:48:17
that's so mean i know any left there's nobody here they never played it oh man
00:48:22
they just left they got their money refunded and they left did that hurt a little bit bad
00:48:28
don't nobody because in my head i'm like because this is so embarrassing come on
00:48:34
because when i was shooting this movie this is before this movie came out i was shooting um were you on mad at the time
00:48:44
yeah pineapple express oh so when i went to pile up express they were so busy one day that they didn't
00:48:50
really have a trailer for me and i complained like well i mean kicking it old school oh bob
00:48:56
[Laughter] they're like listen chilly yeah they're chilly chill just stay here for the day
00:49:02
you're in pineapple express with like five huge names huge and you're like
00:49:06
james franco everyone right like you guys know i'm i'm so embarrassed anyway
00:49:09
i don't know why we took this detour let me hear josh groban this whole show should be called detour
00:49:16
i know what happened with josh groves i met maria i don't know anybody i don't know
00:49:21
what music is i don't know anything the only kind of music i like is fugazi and
00:49:24
punk and whatever i love fugazi so i was at i don't know who john may i know who
00:49:29
john mayer is i know john mayer but i'm not really familiar with the music sure
00:49:33
okay so i'm at a party no one will talk to me everyone's there and i'm sitting there
00:49:38
at like on a like a bench and there's this guy there drinking string he goes hey you're a comedian right
00:49:47
yeah yeah yeah i am he's like what's that like and i go because at the time i was playing clubs
00:49:56
but like sack punch line what's wrong with that but it feels 200 seats it's fine yeah but i was bragging
00:50:03
oh you thought you were hot [ __ ] yeah oh yeah i was like yeah like last saturday
00:50:08
i sold out the sacramento punch line 200 seats that's pretty that's pretty cool
00:50:12
though right and but i kept bragging yeah it's like tour money it's like i'm
00:50:16
pretty killing it you know i do like 150 200 people a show you know i mean i had to comp half the
00:50:21
room but still cool and like still cool yeah i'm killing it you know i mean chilly chill and i talked for like 20
00:50:26
minutes without even letting him say a word josh groban just stepping on his toes what's your
00:50:34
name he goes i'm josh groban and i go bye did you that's it you just that was it
00:50:41
you were done walked away because you didn't realize i got in the car and drove home because you were like i don't
00:50:46
know who that is i don't really care i knew who the name you just didn't know
00:50:48
anything about him though yeah but i knew that he was a big star at the big star like houston's doing stadiums and
00:50:54
[ __ ] yeah but your 200 seats are cool to you i know that's cool to you but there's so
00:50:59
many like moments in my past where i wish i could take back like social moments or situations no
00:51:06
because those make you what you are i know but it's like there's so many of
00:51:10
them in my life yeah i've still like when i was in hungary i was at a [ __ ]
00:51:13
burrito place it was a place called chimichanga they have burritos yeah i know it's terrible yeah and these two
00:51:19
girls walk up to me and they go at all they go hey and this guy in back of me goes not you
00:51:25
me oh bob right and i they walk by and i'm still oh you know i mean i still have those
00:51:32
that's when you turn and engage and go no you say hi to me i'm bobby lee i'm
00:51:36
chilly and i start sweating and i go why did you do that there's just so many instances in my
00:51:42
life does that happen to you do you get embarrassed like that rude yeah all the time
00:51:46
yeah recently recently no no who are you texting by the way diego are you playing with tape that's
00:51:56
how we keep her entertained yeah she doesn't let me ask you no honestly what the [ __ ] it is funny i'm listening
00:52:06
but you are a fixture of the show you can add whenever you want pull the mic towards you god dammit you
00:52:12
know what here's what we'll do to get her to get into the um episode not episode but
00:52:18
like to get her you know to become a better podcaster is to add her own information she
00:52:26
doesn't know how to do that i know but so what we'll do is every episode there
00:52:30
has to be three incidences throughout the episode where he she has to just bring up a topic or ask a question or
00:52:37
something yeah and be involved be involved it's like anything it could be anything
00:52:42
hey do you guys see the olympic or whatever it might be right but it's got to be something out of the
00:52:48
blue and it's got to be something that like um don't laugh a topic that you want to
00:52:53
talk about this is real we might have to fire you speaking of bands yeah josh groban and
00:52:59
such rudy wants to show us that she's uh she's she knows her knowledge about
00:53:05
bands as well so we're gonna go through your favorite band one direction right rudy
00:53:10
yes all right let's hear it okay hello everyone hi i'm gonna be presenting introduce who
00:53:20
you are yeah we don't know who the [ __ ] you are we walk in i would just have it ladies
00:53:24
and gentlemen um to do her first ted talk i mean we have from the from northridge university from the
00:53:32
philippines from the philippines yeah uh julianna kuhn aka rudy then you come up
00:53:39
on stage hello hello i'm gonna be presenting about one direction my favorite
00:53:49
boy band great i hope you're your name i'm julianna kuhn wow [Laughter] when she does that on on stage and
00:54:01
imagine a thousand people are watching she goes i'm julianna and everyone's
00:54:04
like oh [ __ ] i would go like this i go i love this energy what is going on here all right
00:54:09
let's hear it okay okay so the members of one direction is harry styles zayn malik okay liam payne
00:54:24
and louis tomlinson do you want me to show witches harry styles i know which one
00:54:30
harry styles i know which one here is the bottom right okay who is zayn malik bottom left oh who is liam payne
00:54:38
uh left the top no no top right who is niall horan in the top left with the blonde hair who
00:54:45
louie tomlinson is in the middle that's right okay do you know that to be true
00:54:50
yeah oh that's right you're the one right what kind of ted talk is this are you
00:54:55
gonna ask her she asked me okay i just responded i think you should do all this without
00:55:03
any of this on screen yeah take this off the screen i feel like you're ready
00:55:06
because you're cheating you're cheating i feel like go ahead but then there's no pictures of
00:55:11
them there's a we'll put up a photo how many albums have they sold they have
00:55:15
solved sold four four albums four or five yeah you mean they've made four how many have they sold
00:55:26
i don't know five five or five albums got it the biggest boy band in the world
00:55:34
the names yeah of what of the albums yeah okay okay up all night up all night all night one of my favorites
00:55:41
um four four the number yeah four oh okay that's their four is one of their albums yeah
00:55:50
they were lazy that day yeah no because it is it was their first album i know but what do we call it i don't know it's
00:55:56
our fourth album you'll see four [ __ ] fine yeah made in the am made in the in in the morning
00:56:04
in the morning am is the morning you know that right i know what does it stand for
00:56:10
i don't know okay what does it stand for anatomically motorized in the morning the sun is anatomically
00:56:18
motorized did you know that yeah of course he did in the evening prematurely motorized
00:56:25
it's prematurely motorized it's been prematurely okay let me finish please we want to know what i
00:56:31
know but it's like you're missing out on no i don't see wrap it up because i i
00:56:34
don't even know if she knows anything about the band i'm feeling like a little
00:56:36
bit let me finish all right all right okay so i'm a fan and so you also need
00:56:42
to be a fan of the one direction we are we want to be why because i love them but what what is it about them where are
00:56:48
they from they're from england how do they meet their british how did they meet
00:56:54
they were from x factor and even though they didn't win simon cowell made them into a ban
00:57:04
what are their favorite foods louie likes carrots that makes sense no i'll give you like some facts about
00:57:14
them sure okay louie likes carrots and he likes girls who eats carrots liam is scared of spoon
00:57:24
of the band spoon oh no spoons oh spoons harry why i don't know something happened to him i
00:57:33
got to tell you i get it the shape is weird it's a weird change it's a weird like
00:57:37
what yeah what is that it's just a tiny ladle give me a big one i don't like little baby ladles give me
00:57:45
a [ __ ] [ __ ] give me a big ladle you don't you no one's scared of a spoon
00:57:51
are you serious that's a google it right now people are scared of spoons i bet you my life people are
00:57:56
scared of spoons no don't finish the [ __ ] presentation phobia are we googling phobia of spoons
00:58:02
are people scared of spoons let's find out i don't know what people are doing their
00:58:08
spoons i don't want to know but liam isn't the only one with a spoon problem
00:58:13
it turns out there actually is a name for his phobia zoom in it's say it out loud rudy
00:58:22
which liam is well aware of defining extreme and often irrational fear of spoons
00:58:26
okay you'll find that for any eating utensil are people we are forks our people you're a force are people
00:58:34
scared of forks no that's no yeah right there what is that aggro embryophobia is the fear of
00:58:42
glyophobia silvery things especially silverware oh so that's so it's a whole
00:58:46
all the silverware yeah our grayophobia argrif argeophobia like being pork by pumping by a fork
00:58:56
that does scare me a little bit yeah yeah because i get so when someone's eating aggressively in a restaurant i
00:59:01
think they could just throw a fork i'm just saying there's a fear of everything
00:59:03
there's a fear of um people are fearful of guacamole people are fearful of like
00:59:08
what's your roosters what's yours what's your irrational fear i don't really have
00:59:12
one you don't have any irrational fears avocado anxiety first world problem yeah
00:59:18
that's got to be a white guy thing yeah yeah i don't have any you don't have any
00:59:21
irrational fears do you i'm scared i'm i'm not i'm scared of i guess i just don't drowning it scares
00:59:32
the [ __ ] out of me oh yeah i'm scared of being buried alive right yeah but that's everybody no
00:59:39
really imagine being buried alive all right you you're getting knocked out you
00:59:43
wake up and you're now in a casket that's fun eight feet underground six isn't it but my mine's
00:59:51
eight oh you're two feet low oh yeah and the first thing you would do is you can't see
00:59:58
well you can how well your your eyes would adjust at some point right there's
01:00:02
no light at all though you would never adjust your eyes your eyes would never adjust there's no
01:00:06
light what about your cell phone in your pocket you don't have you you wake up in a casket okay i'm
01:00:11
fine you wake up in a casket completely naked with nothing they don't bury you
01:00:16
naked yes they do do they yeah no you have clothes on when they bear no that it depends on where you are el salvador
01:00:21
no problem okay i'll salvador all right so now you you wake up right you're in a
01:00:25
casket you're completely naked right there's no light so you what would the
01:00:29
be the first thing is like where am i so you would use the other senses which is
01:00:35
your hands first you would feel and you would feel the wooden box you go holy [ __ ]
01:00:41
i think i'm in a casket i'm going to cask it right and then is it a nice one
01:00:47
no it's not even it's one of those makeshift it's not padded it's not
01:00:50
padded it's just wood it's like bad wood what's better to get splinters out yeah
01:00:56
yeah where am i wow yeah right that would hurt and then the oxygen is slowly running out in that
01:01:02
little thing and then you would probably go hello quietly hello you would hello hello
01:01:15
anybody but you i i bet you because of all the dirt it's so muffled you only you can
01:01:21
hear it that you could you realize like oh [ __ ] i'm buried i'm buried alive
01:01:26
what do you do then you try to claw out well then you're gonna let the dirt in it doesn't matter
01:01:32
i mean you would have to figure something out you would do what um thurman did you mean
01:01:43
and then you're dead and then you're dead yeah so would you rather just would you rather
01:01:48
how about this would you rather just die of being buried alive and being in the casket
01:01:54
or would you rather try to get out and die that way i'd if if there was a yeah
01:01:58
right there right there so if but she had a light in this right right so it's like because they're
01:02:04
not going to do a scene in pitch black so kind of tough to shoot harder but wait a minute would you would seriously
01:02:10
rudy would you just let just sit there until you're until you die until you die
01:02:14
or would you try to get out and die that way you're going to die either way i think i'll sleep and just wait until i
01:02:19
die yeah you guys are big sleepers that would be easy for you to just sleep yeah
01:02:22
i think i would go like all right you don't panic you're gonna die anyway right
01:02:29
and just stay still cause who knows maybe in eight hours someone might get somebody might get me you could last
01:02:36
more than eight oh you think the air is just gonna run i think the air won't run
01:02:38
out yeah see i'd rather just i wouldn't want to break the box and let the dirt
01:02:41
in i'd rather just let the air run out because you probably just when you run
01:02:44
out actually probably just get dizzy and go to bed okay would you rather have that or this this is what my dad said
01:02:50
they did the japanese did to the koreans during the occupation yeah so what they would they
01:02:56
would go to a village and i guess they had these gigantic pots of boiling water who's how are they carrying around
01:03:04
boiling pots of water they just would they would get a big pot of boiling water okay i don't know how maybe that
01:03:10
people just had them around in a village just boiling pots of water all over the
01:03:14
place right got it i'm just trying to understand the logistics of it yeah but it also it's
01:03:19
like you're not probably the culture you don't know are there a lot of gigantic boiling pots
01:03:24
of water in the philippines just hanging around no i don't okay so in korea there are
01:03:28
fine fine so let's just suppose in your little pea brain right your little pea brain there was a
01:03:35
big pot your dad is making this up okay you know what my dad's dead and that's rude
01:03:41
when did he die a couple years ago you know he did we did the song seriously yeah you would die you remember this
01:03:46
that was for your yes it wasn't for anything else but yeah okay so anyway a lot of boiling water and he goes they
01:03:52
used to make it up now you're realizing it's not what are you saying as my dad it seems like he's still here
01:04:01
bobby let me tell you a bedtime story all right you're like sick okay dad yeah
01:04:06
i mean back in the day when the japanese so they used the boiling water they used to tie accordions by their uh
01:04:14
what do you call here feet ankles ankle right right how does he say ankle uncle uncle right and they go
01:04:23
upside they hang outside from a tree so they would hang koreans upside down no way from a tree
01:04:30
and dip them in the boil and they would dip the [ __ ] body in the boiling water and every time the body would come
01:04:36
out it would be losing a layer of skin oh my god right and they would dip it ten times until
01:04:41
they're dead but apparently it was like the most painful thing did he see this no this is
01:04:45
the case will you google dipping koreans [Laughter] there is no dip in korean what do you
01:04:52
mean dipping koreans in boiling water all right there you go dipping koreans and
01:04:56
boiling water water the dip in korean sounds like a baseball team five to four out here the dip in korea
01:05:03
before you do that let me just go to the back to my quest by boiling there it is
01:05:07
death by boiling bro that's so awful i see death by boiling boiling liquid is
01:05:13
there a reference to it for in the during the occupation historical practice in europe no asia for sure yeah
01:05:18
look at that look at the size of that big pot [ __ ] i told you i [ __ ] told you yeah but they
01:05:25
wouldn't go town to town they brought you to the pot they had to bring you to
01:05:28
the pod yeah look at that pot bandit ishiga ishigawa go iman was boiled to death for the attempted assassination of
01:05:33
warlord toyota hide yoshi anyway so i'll give you three options so buried buried alive mm-hmm dipped by
01:05:42
boiling water right or or do you see game of thrones where they i think it was game of thrones you put the
01:05:49
bucket on the stomach no so they put a bucket right tied to somebody's stomach
01:05:56
but in the bucket is like eight rats oh and they're gonna so they burn this end
01:06:02
so that the ratchet would burrow through the human body to escape what do you say
01:06:06
rudy so you have those three options that died so buried alive uh boiling or death by rat chewing through your
01:06:13
abdomen buried alive buried alive what do you say rats rat you want to feel it huh i don't
01:06:19
want to feel it you're going to feel it the claustrophobia is that how is it
01:06:23
claustrophobic claustrophobia of the [ __ ] buried alive i wouldn't be able to do it psychologically you're okay
01:06:28
it's a slow it's a slow down but now you feel the rats eating away your body
01:06:32
that's slow but i always feel like somehow you i could survive it you might because if they bury around
01:06:38
like if they avoid the organs if they were smart rats right that's not that's the heart go
01:06:43
around it right right that's the liver i mean they just went through non so they just then then they make a home
01:06:49
inside of you or they or they just bury burrow right through you to your butthole not to my
01:06:54
butt up through my back they go around the spine they don't [ __ ] with any of the vital organs they hit
01:06:58
nothing no they put nothing they're smart rats okay right and come on guys and also he's not gonna die either so we
01:07:06
did two good things so they we're both alive well i guess that's the right way
01:07:09
to do it right and then then i would probably would probably hold both with my back
01:07:15
like this like this and and tell the my torture that was a good one oh you would say that's a good
01:07:21
one yeah but now he's going to go now get in the casket so now now you're going to bury a lot
01:07:26
and we're going to dip the casket in boiling water yeah by the way yeah which one would you
01:07:31
do i think i would do the casket for sure because i think you run out of oxygen and you otherwise the boiling
01:07:36
i couldn't do boiling it it would suck but the only way what but every time you
01:07:40
come up because they dip you and then they bring you up yeah it would only be fun if you could every not fun but
01:07:45
if you every time you came up you made a joke all right so right right if i tie you so
01:07:50
if they dip yeah i pull you up dip you down and you go it's not that warm it's not that hot at
01:07:55
all and then tip you back down yeah yeah you go let me take another look i think
01:07:58
it's down there somewhere you know what i mean all right are there supposed to be apples in here or what i
01:08:02
thought i'm bobbing forever if you do a hacky throw right then it's then at least at least
01:08:06
the guy lowering you is just like best this is a this is kind of a weird spot what do you think and then they dip you
01:08:14
back in yeah the rope guy might go it's pretty funny yeah they might let you i
01:08:18
know but then but imagine this though every time you get popped up a layer of something is gone now you're a skeleton
01:08:27
what a weird spot jaws this is terrible terrible terrible it's so terrible we're even talking
01:08:32
about this yeah but once we get here again we're talking about it in present
01:08:34
in present day how did we get to this though george that back to george something unfollow him it's unfollowing
01:08:40
him no no hey hey hey no hey um you must unfollow him um yes so um by the way so but but my dad
01:08:50
was right though yeah it's a real thing okay good but your dad did make up a lot
01:08:54
of stuff because he was kind of a crazy drunk so who knows yeah you know sometimes people make up
01:08:59
[ __ ] and it turns out to be true you've done that before where you guess and
01:09:02
it's right what do you mean yeah where someone's like what year did that happen you're
01:09:07
like i think probably the 50s and you look it up and it was and you and you yourself go
01:09:11
oh yeah yeah i didn't i do that all the time where i'm like i think and then
01:09:15
what year was in what place was this invented you go albuquerque new mexico and they go yeah
01:09:20
yeah it was did you know that and you're like and of course i did yeah and you
01:09:23
have to be out back now you have to go back go through of course of course i of course i know okay now add information
01:09:28
give us a different ques that steer the oh yeah you should oh yeah we have to keep funneling her you know we'll do a
01:09:33
thing i'll go like i'll raise this every time i raise this you have to come up
01:09:37
with a different thread of questioning any topic what's something 78 weeks we've been doing the show
01:09:44
78 dude honestly 78 no [ __ ] be in our shoes let's just talk about something else
01:09:51
yeah right and then i will lift this i really want this to work because this is going to help her life because truth be
01:09:56
told i don't know why we have her on the show sometimes people love her so much
01:09:59
and she is just sitting there not contributing not wanting to pay attention not adding anything
01:10:04
oh you just hear what she says when i say we have to get in the car to come here so bummed yeah jules get ready why
01:10:10
we have to do back you don't have to you know what i don't do that why don't we just not have her on the
01:10:16
show anymore do you want to take a break for a year she does you want to take a break
01:10:23
no you like it it's okay no she doesn't like it's okay what is it how can we make this better
01:10:32
for you jules where's diego by the way did he hit you up uh are you done with him yeah oh boy oh
01:10:39
boy did he see the episode yeah a lot of people are like asking him to follow oh
01:10:47
because he's private do we give away his instagram no but i follow him oh and they just
01:10:52
look up you yeah let's just talk about something else um no it's fine have you bunched
01:10:57
watching the olympics it's way over by now yeah but wasn't the olympics amazing yeah it was great yeah
01:11:03
yeah we did the olympics last episode yeah yeah how have you have you seen outer banks on netflix
01:11:16
no no what is it what is it it's a teen movie yeah me and bobby love teen movies what
01:11:23
is it about these teens like go on a quest and go find like treasures look at what these kids look like these
01:11:31
days oh my god where are the ugly kids remember how ugly you were as a teenager i know i was so [ __ ] i was so jealous
01:11:39
of these kids too i hated these haters hated them yeah yeah they had nice skin good teeth yeah i had pock mark pimple
01:11:46
face bulging teeth big huge [ __ ] my grandfather used to say because my hair is so uh orange and my ears were so big
01:11:53
he's like you look like a taxi coming down the street where the doors open yeah my [ __ ] family so
01:11:59
yeah you look like a taxi coming down the street with its doors open yeah yeah and
01:12:04
i was so skinny and i had [ __ ] big feet i have 12 and a half now when i was like in high school i had 10 and a half
01:12:09
or 11's my grandfather goes jesus christ look at those [ __ ] things and i go oh
01:12:13
yeah i got big feet he goes you can water ski just without you water ski without skis
01:12:19
my dad once said you know i walked into the room right in his bedroom he goes you look like you did a 100 yard dash in
01:12:24
an undiyar gym [Laughter] that is so good my dad face was that flat your dad is very funny yeah i'll bring
01:12:37
him but these so one time um in la jolla you know do you ever see um what's that
01:12:41
one with fred savage that um wonder wonder years winnie so i guess her grandmother i used to
01:12:48
have such a big crush right i lived it i invited i i i um auditioned for mad tv with her look at her
01:12:54
but her grandmother or something i was walking by i was a kid in high school i was walking by her
01:13:02
grandmother's house and my friend goes oh you're that girl from one of yours
01:13:05
her grandmother lives there and i took it i don't know why i had an avocado but i threw it at the house why would
01:13:12
you because i just didn't like you know what i mean you didn't like just winnie cooper's
01:13:16
just i just like you know i mean anyone that was doing well oh right yeah yeah how old were you
01:13:22
16. cool yeah yeah there's winnie cooper there yeah she's very pretty she's still
01:13:28
pretty she was so cute as a kid she's so nice the side bob the side ponytail
01:13:33
yeah we'll look at that picture of her is that dancing with the stars that's got
01:13:37
to be right up up up to the right yeah that's got to be dancing with the stars isn't it yeah of
01:13:43
course it is would you ever do that show huh dances with the stars i would do dances with wolves if they
01:13:49
bring that and then would you dance if they make dances with wolves a tv show yeah you actually have to train and
01:13:53
dance with wolves i would do that i would 100 do that yeah but what welcome back i'm tom bergeron welcome
01:14:00
back to dances with wolves [Music] who's going to die this week on dances with wolves
01:14:08
people just getting mangled and [ __ ] dealer celebrities getting their [ __ ] heads ripped off by wolves that kind of
01:14:13
show i'm into right i would never do some [ __ ] like this why and i don't i'm not [ __ ] on the
01:14:18
people that have done it why would i do that why would anderson because i feel like
01:14:23
you can dance i can dance but why would i do i think that if you trained with a real guy and i think because of that's
01:14:28
the fear is that i fall in love with my guy though no but mid-america would love
01:14:32
it i mean america will love you if you if regardless because i i get this sometimes now because because you're a
01:14:39
leftist cuck because you're a left coast cuck what do you get sometimes what do you get
01:14:49
no come on finish the statement what do you get i'm just teasing you no i know
01:14:52
it's fine um well i'll get recognized for things that normally when i was doing the thing i
01:14:58
was like what am i doing this for yeah but america loves it but like you know you'll get like people that you normally
01:15:04
wouldn't you mean like you or know about you come up to you and go like black people what
01:15:09
do you say no no like midwestern people like i've had old men come up to me or
01:15:13
women go a young man i i loved you on that magnum pie of course yeah what i'm saying is that
01:15:20
if i didn't do that show i wouldn't ever these people would never know about me
01:15:25
well that's great i know it's great but because a certain kind of person
01:15:28
watches a show like that same with dance what does that mean what kind of person
01:15:34
just people with regular lives huh what do you think what do you think i'm getting at something
01:15:39
they just sound a little pretentious no i'm not i'm not it sounds a little
01:15:42
pretentious no they're you mean regular are you gonna you mean regular americans good old-fashioned
01:15:48
americans i love midwestern american americans me i'm a midwestern american i'm from [ __ ] chicago i couldn't be
01:15:55
more midwest no what am i you're hollywood [ __ ] you i'm not hollywood bro i grew up in the
01:16:04
suburbs with regular christians and everything too i agree with christians too but i know but at some point right
01:16:09
you and i chose look at your [ __ ] if i look at your phone blake griffin oh there's so many [ __ ]
01:16:15
songs on your phone because that's for work no it's not you live everyone
01:16:20
listening this piece of [ __ ] is the most hollywood scumbag i've ever [ __ ] seen which one
01:16:26
of us lives in the hollywood hills which one of us lives in the hollywood hills i don't live in the hollywood
01:16:30
house which one none of us do because i don't live in the hollywood hills okay
01:16:33
you live in the hills i live on a hill i live in what does that make i live in the flag you live in the flat i live in
01:16:38
the flats but in a nice i live in a compound in a flat your house you're not
01:16:42
even in a house you're not you guys live in the hills who's more hollywood him or
01:16:46
me both of you jules you're [ __ ] fired lift up the [ __ ] i have a question
01:16:54
thank god where's the hollywood hills throw that thing at her you've never been to the hollywood hills
01:17:02
no have you ever seen the hollywood sign yeah yeah that's where the hills are
01:17:09
look at that to the hollywood hills right there in the mountain you've been over laurel canyon right
01:17:15
yeah that's the hollywood that's the hollywood hills those are what the houses look like yeah
01:17:20
and and producer mostly producers yeah mostly people that don't actually like
01:17:25
act or perform we're sandwiched between two producers yeah the guys the guys that move money
01:17:29
around the most that's who lives in all of these yeah that's a nice house people that are able
01:17:33
to just know people and that's how they make a ton of money meanwhile we back we break our backs and
01:17:39
um then one day they don't want you anymore but those guys get to keep living up
01:17:43
there and we don't the hollywood hills is for uber rich like that house has got to be 15 20
01:17:50
million dollars yeah sebastian money that's the i mean what was his house they told they said 26 million is that
01:17:57
his house no sebastian montesso's house was at least 20 million a good family friend of mine
01:18:03
just broke it's public knowledge so i can say it yeah they broke the real estate record of price per square foot
01:18:08
in in malibu make no mistake this is not me nobody i this is not my mind they bought it's not even the number
01:18:14
it's the price per square foot what 11.8 they bought pamela anderson look up
01:18:18
pamela anderson's house it'll show you to be top story 11.8 million dollars
01:18:23
yeah and it's about the size of it's a little bit bigger look at that look at the house
01:18:28
11.8 million for that little bungalow yeah it's only 2 600 square feet oh my god 2600 square feet do you know how
01:18:36
small that is yeah look at this eight million okay yeah divided by twenty six hundred
01:18:43
square foot house though that's four forty five hundred dollars per square foot four thousand dollars per square
01:18:49
foot oh my god what's the average court square footage in america google that
01:18:52
average square footage in america it's a beautiful home it's beautiful beautiful
01:18:57
average average price per square foot in america this is look at that four they broke a
01:19:03
record in los angeles real estate it's insane the average is 122 dollars divided by 122
01:19:12
that's 37 times the national average is what this person paid for 37 [ __ ] times that's insane
01:19:19
they're rich they got a lot it's malibu mel gibson lives there i mean his i think his neighbor is i
01:19:25
think their neighbor is um harrison ford or something like that yeah does that matter where is it see who's
01:19:33
hollywood nice this worked so you love it i say it's ridiculous and you go it makes
01:19:38
sense it's either harrison or when i lived on beechwood that what the lady next door did to me the one
01:19:43
that ate poop the one that like yelled at me before not picking up dog poop right and they put fliers all over the
01:19:48
town yeah i either get harrison or that i pick harrison every time there's a
01:19:52
middle and if that makes me [ __ ] hollywood you are no you are hollywood george george it's
01:19:57
bobby holly who's more hollywood george can't pete uh interact a little who's more hollywood
01:20:07
um can i tell you something real fast before you answer you're you're on the
01:20:12
talking plop you're chopping you're on the chalk and glock you're on a check-in
01:20:16
clock you're on so let me tell you something you're on the chalking glock yeah yeah just know
01:20:24
that all of you george included you're on the chalking glock as well yeah why does that sound racist you know you
01:20:32
hey that [ __ ] is a chalk and glock you know him yeah yeah you're on the track right that's our next podcast
01:20:36
the chalking glock the trucking glock pete well who's more hollywood um damn it
01:20:45
pipe up kid let's go have a stance andrew whoa do you know why he said that because he
01:20:53
because because he knows because he knows the truth no honestly no because because people literally because pete
01:20:58
works with me i drive a pretty damaged prius that's because fancy cars that's hollywood that's
01:21:07
because you're lazy i like nice cars i walk into your house it's like a showroom in there you walk into her it's
01:21:13
like a [ __ ] animal farm my house has a showroom because we have to rent it out we can't afford to live
01:21:19
in it while we're waiting in hollywood nothing is hollywood you hang out with hollywood
01:21:25
folks i do not you don't hang out with anybody because you're too lazy no no
01:21:28
one wants to hang out with me yes they do you're lazy okay no they don't
01:21:32
tomorrow night let's go out you want to go out with a bunch of people yeah tomorrow morning i'm going to hawaii
01:21:36
exactly for to do what to [ __ ] shoot a tv show shine shoes [ __ ] you shoot a tv
01:21:41
show uh uh what's your name on the show what else wong what is your name on the
01:21:45
show chiang chong's with plural yeah yeah listen yeah i am not there's you are definitely
01:21:52
more highlighted in hollywood who can we ask you have you ever gotten your nails done
01:21:55
never look at how shitty my hands are have you gotten a facial just from this guy i know in west
01:22:01
hollywood this guy might have gotten a face no i've never gotten a facial who can we
01:22:04
call to ask who's more hollywood i'll call somebody right now who i'll i'll call somebody right now we
01:22:10
have to settle the score of who's more hollywood you're definitely way more
01:22:12
hollywood than me you wear shirts and bands you don't even like all right okay you wear golden goose shoes
01:22:19
pre-dirtied up shoes do you talk hauling griff you're on the podcast i need you
01:22:28
to settle the score with me real fast it's griffin okay bobby and i are fighting about who's
01:22:32
more hollywood and i say clearly it's bobby he says it's me and the the cowards in the office won't take a real
01:22:39
statement no no they're afraid of losing their jobs pete said that andrew was
01:22:42
more hollywood and really think about your answer here eric griff who's more
01:22:45
hollywood me or bobby oh man this is actually tougher than i think uh i mean if i'm being honest but bobby
01:22:53
is more hollywood yes thank you griff i love you to death i'll call you after
01:22:59
yeah please all right and he's our most honest friend literally our most honest friend i don't
01:23:04
trust it you don't trust our our most let's just call no one is more honest
01:23:07
than griff oh let's just randomly call the comedy store and talk to whoever the
01:23:12
phone can't ever picks up the phone all right that's fine you have to tell him you're on the show
01:23:17
i know hey bobby what's up hey what's up are you working the phones yes i am this is jake
01:23:33
hi jake i know who you are and i love you um you're on the podcast of bad friends right now
01:23:39
oh okay okay you may not know what that is it's a i have a podcast you know what
01:23:43
bad friends is uh i haven't seen it but i know what it is it's me and andrew santino have a
01:23:48
podcast yeah okay so i just gonna ask you a question because we're just calling
01:23:52
random people okay okay who's more hollywood in your eyes all right me or andrew santino and be honest and
01:24:01
there's gonna be no hard feelings [Laughter] uh i feel like it's even but andrew seems a
01:24:10
little more like low-key hollywood and then yeah and whereas you are much more uh
01:24:17
seemingly outspoken and out there hollywood right on he's out there hollywood you're right dude he's
01:24:22
like ostentatious and annoying and demanding and bratty that is that jake that's your final
01:24:28
answer thank you jake uh yes final answer okay thank you jake i love you [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] he's right i gotta
01:24:36
get it one more i'll keep going this is great keep swinging cause everyone's gonna tell you the truth and
01:24:41
you're gonna feel what it really is no they're not you're mr hollywood i'm not
01:24:45
miss shut the [ __ ] up nothing about me and you have to call by the way you have to call a source adam
01:24:51
egatt great great oh this is perfect great the guy for people that don't know he's the guy
01:24:56
that used to manage the comedy store before uh he became a uh prostitute in austin he's a male prostitute in austin
01:25:02
yeah but he only does orals yeah your call has been forwarded to an automatic wow can you believe he did
01:25:09
that to you he's probably doing something he's [ __ ] hurt no what do you mean he's
01:25:12
probably busy let me see if i can get a hold of him adam egret let's see if he answers my
01:25:17
phone call well he knows where he's going fine are you facetiming him he doesn't only
01:25:24
have face fight audio it's like a it's a race [ __ ] you both look so hollywood right there
01:25:36
your phone's up trying to calling famous people george hollywood you're on the
01:25:40
talking glock watch it okay okay no one's picking up one more time i got to get can i tell you something this
01:25:47
is how unhollywood we are none of our friends are picking up our phone calls this is the most hollywood proof that no
01:25:52
one wants to pick up our phone who is it you'll see no one's picking up who is it who else
01:26:01
that's tom segura oh yeah he's definitely not gonna yeah yeah should we call rogan
01:26:06
no come on let's call joe no he's not going to be he's not going to say anything yeah you will
01:26:12
yeah whitney cummings sure last one sure call whitney all right last one she's probably drinking blood or
01:26:19
something what do you want bobby something like that yeah panic you know how scrooge mcduck had a vault
01:26:31
of money you know she has one of those in her basement she swims in money in the morning someone says how does she
01:26:36
how does she stay so young and active swims and money in the morning coins text me text me that's her
01:26:42
voicemail text me we're not going to get anybody what does this prove that we both suck
01:26:47
on hollywood that we're both not hollywood that's what the oh there she is
01:26:51
[ __ ] hey whitney whitney we're you're on bad friends real quick uh oh god okay i just want to ask one
01:27:00
quick question just real quick it's we're just calling our friends oh yeah
01:27:04
no i do not want to do a television show with you that's not it no i do not want to
01:27:10
co-host your podcast when you're in hawaii no no no mediocre who do you think time out hey
01:27:14
first of all be nice be nice to bobby we're giving you a boost right now how about a guest star on dave
01:27:24
thank you can i tell you something you want to know something yeah i can say because the episode's already out the
01:27:28
first episode we were in korea i literally said what about bobby lee for any character in korea and they go
01:27:35
why can't it be like a korean spa maybe or like a massage envy or like a like um
01:27:42
you know like comedy like a spa shooting like hilarious stuff we wanted to put him in i asked to put him in the korean
01:27:48
episode and and sonny you know sonny yeah he said he said they actually pitched it but there was no role for him
01:27:55
so they wanted you in there but there was nothing funny they were korean armed guards
01:28:00
so yeah i did try to get them in wit how many shows have you tried to get us in how many shows have you tried to get us
01:28:05
in bobby i've ever heard how many shows have you tried to get us in with i think
01:28:09
we're can we get to the [ __ ] point of the [ __ ] we're off on a bad start
01:28:13
all right right because your black ass normally has a point we shouldn't have called her this is me
01:28:18
well no let's say something he's nasty it means no let's say tonight well okay
01:28:22
this is my only chance to ever be on bad friends that's exactly right but just
01:28:26
just be honest with us okay who's more hollywood andrew santino or bobby lee
01:28:33
andrew santino hands down no way i love you whitney [ __ ] you dude [ __ ] you i'm gonna give you a nice gift go
01:28:40
drink more she said anderson do you know hands down bad source eric griffin said you all right so we
01:29:00
asked everybody to submit some videos um how many do you have let's just let's
01:29:06
see a few sir who's gonna get invited to bobby's 50th birthday party oh i'm excited how many do we have we've
01:29:11
got a lot but we can play we can play some now and some some later because we have plenty of time
01:29:17
hey uh bobby andrew uh i'm just submitting um an application elephant trunk party with bobby on his 50th
01:29:24
birthday uh i got two shots uh some double vax all that good stuff i believe in masks i think masks save
01:29:34
lives okay uh i like uh i like your guys and your comedy and everything like that i like
01:29:40
this guy i got a couple cats so you know i'm i'm a wild guy i'm also sober so i
01:29:46
won't i won't be doing any crazy drinking or anything like that [Music] irish my mom's nigerian and my dad is
01:30:04
irish so i'm technically half ginger as well so i've got uh like you know it's a full
01:30:10
dose of if it's a little worse [Music] i like them i like them um okay i don't know a flag or a
01:30:21
check mark do a check mark next to him so you like him yeah logan he doesn't
01:30:25
seem like he's gonna be intrusive he doesn't seem like he he yeah okay here's another dude here's me here's
01:30:30
andrew okay move the player uh happy birthday bobby in advance happy 50th you an old [ __ ]
01:30:39
um i just wanted to tell you why i should come to your party um fun at parties uh you know i'm
01:30:47
probably gonna get [ __ ] up because you know you can't you you know you want to
01:30:51
be lame when you're on 50th uh which is cool i get it but you know i'll get [ __ ] up for the both of us
01:30:57
you know and uh you know it'll be a good time so uh we out he's on the pooper i love the
01:31:04
pooper guys you think he's cute he's okay okay cute what do you mean because
01:31:08
you're gonna be there i want i want something he looks like he's [ __ ] 30. yeah
01:31:12
you're right sorry my bad i mean you can say he's cute i guess what all right remove that move move
01:31:18
that play bar physically there we go what's up bad friends my name's kyle i'm
01:31:26
submitting this video to be invited to general robert e lee's big 50th birthday
01:31:30
party man whew hawaii five oh halfway to a hundred man way to go papaya yeah there you go the slept king
01:31:40
andrew jules fancy bee pink dick love to meet you all i [ __ ] think we have a blast man a
01:31:51
little bit about myself um sometimes i like to drink water while i'm peeing and i pretend that it's going
01:31:57
straight through me uh funny [ __ ] my favorite central position is trial and error
01:32:04
uh that's about it though um i'd love to meet you guys i think i'd be a lot of
01:32:08
fun i know how to party i like this guy so let's give it up to you they're all good
01:32:13
being a bad friend i can't invite everyone what's the criteria here i mean
01:32:17
it's your party yeah i'll have to go through it again any women or is this
01:32:20
all dudes i mean it's probably mostly dude can i tell you an idea before you play
01:32:24
the next video yeah when he said he wants to meet everybody and i'm sorry i'm eating right now it's
01:32:29
only because we're doing this at an off time because bobby's got a bobby's
01:32:32
hollywood so he's got to go um i i do think and i'm being genuine when i say this people are going to want to
01:32:40
come and meet people and say hi wouldn't it be cool if we put george like in a cage or
01:32:50
what if we put george upside down suspended by his ankles in the boiling pot like we were going to
01:32:56
do before and if people donate money the more don't and it goes to charity then the lower he goes into the pot
01:33:03
of real pot boiling water so we hang george upside down yeah if you donate all the money for that is
01:33:09
going to go to your our favorite charities to support because you don't need you don't need people's money we
01:33:13
want to donate do you want their money yes oh okay well we'll keep it and just tell them it's
01:33:20
for charity okay okay so can we do something to torture george at your party yeah
01:33:24
yeah we're gonna boil george all right guys we're gonna boil george we're just
01:33:27
letting you know in advance we're gonna be boiling jewelry george is this all
01:33:30
guys adam eagan go ahead on the phone yeah adam hey buddy so i'm with ander santino
01:33:37
you're on bad friends real quick oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] you just have to answer a question i
01:33:43
miss you i love you can you answer a question can you ask to answer a question sure and you can be completely honest be
01:33:50
honest be honest between me and between me and andrew who's more hollywood oh santino for sure
01:34:02
i love you adam why i miss you and i'll talk to you later okay i love you so
01:34:06
much [ __ ] you i love you stay in austin you're peaceful [ __ ] real this is real dude no by the way you know
01:34:12
why he got kicked out of hollywood he got ran out of l.a it's a fact he got ran out of la because he's he because
01:34:18
he's a kook bag and we don't want him around that's right we don't want you
01:34:20
anymore hollywood let's go here shut the [ __ ] up i'm not it's so funny i'm so
01:34:26
not hollywood still hollywood i'm more man of the people than you are by far i
01:34:29
play golf what's wrong with golf hollywood everybody plays [ __ ] they're all
01:34:34
hollywood if you don't play golf you're not hollywood that's not true yes it is
01:34:38
it's gross america plays golf not every american it's a lazy guy's sport no it's
01:34:43
not yes it is it's it's way you and your rich friends hobnob right and create these projects and
01:34:49
stuff on the [ __ ] course i've been busting my ass now you try to get jobs for [ __ ] 15 years you've been sitting
01:34:55
on your little korean ass getting stuff handed to you for 15 years let's see
01:34:59
what she says okay i'll make this short and sweet you you've got to pick me
01:35:06
you guys live in my ear all day every day at work like if it's not tiger belly if it's about friends like
01:35:15
you guys live in my ear okay so this is a [ __ ] privilege to celebrate the 50th birthday
01:35:21
with you bobby with andrew with lyla with rudy with everybody with all the crew so say no more she's coming she's
01:35:28
coming push pause she's coming she's coming she has to come i don't even give a [ __ ] what's
01:35:33
left mark her as a absolutely say what's her name i can't read it i think it's uh
01:35:42
yeah she's [ __ ] coming anybody that has to deliver mail to people all day long and tirelessly delivers like her
01:35:49
next person she's coming move the bar dude hey bobby hello hey klyla hey tiger belly family
01:35:56
bad friends family my name is ashton i'm a registered nurse here in san antonio texas this is my fiance soon to
01:36:05
be wife victoria she's a music therapist right now and so i think the reason why we would
01:36:12
be excited to go to your 50th birthday party would just be hangout i'm sure you get this a lot of course
01:36:20
that i've been a fan of you since mad tv i used to run home from middle of work on my lunch
01:36:27
break just to watch episodes to see if you were in them so you're my favorite comedian of all
01:36:34
time so why do you think we should go so i definitely think we should go because
01:36:39
because he made me do this look forward to your podcast that's how he de-stresses from his day
01:36:45
you know he has a really stressful job so to be able to listen to you guys is like a big
01:36:52
you know relief for him this is your birthday i want it to be as special as it's going to be for you and you know
01:36:57
what you know what it's going to be your birthday hollywood themed [Laughter]
01:37:03
thank you for being a bad friend [Music] tom so me and andrew are doing bad friends
01:37:14
you're on on air yeah i just have one question for you is that okay everybody
01:37:20
just in your heart of hearts and just really be honest who do you think is more hollywood
01:37:25
andrew or bobby lee oh man that's really tough like you're both kind of like pieces of [ __ ] in a way
01:37:36
yeah but it's kind of like which who's like the more rotten piece of [ __ ] yeah yeah
01:37:43
yeah you know who it is tom tom yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna side with my white
01:37:48
brother on this one wait wait excuse me i'm going to side with my caucasian friend
01:38:02
thank you tommy i want to just listen to my words right now yeah listen to listen
01:38:05
to his words you break my heart yeah it's barely there it's barely [ __ ]
01:38:10
there you break my heart love you tommy i love you tom all right bye bye even is the great
01:38:21
[Music]