00:00:00
you two are bad friends who are these two idiots why dude i'm an asian dude you two
00:00:07
are disgusting well you two or something we're bad friends speaking of money who just got
00:00:13
back from new york wait you didn't you fancy yeah i did yeah
00:00:18
new york the city of dreams but it's like a big peach you fly in
00:00:24
statue of liberty you stay in your hotel room do you get five o'clock in the morning
00:00:30
call time and you go you work 16 hours then you fly get back
00:00:35
kind of flight and fly back back and fly i'm working on impressions you want to
00:00:40
hear one yeah i want to hear no way i guess what it is okay let's hear i'ma close my eyes i'm not gonna look at you
00:00:45
there's no such thing not yet [Laughter]
00:00:52
there's no such thing as political murder political bombings and political
00:00:58
violence there's only criminal murder criminal bombings and criminal violence
00:01:06
gavin newsom current governor of california no no who is this a woman caitlyn jenner
00:01:13
potential governor of california it's political criminal bombings there's this thing
00:01:20
it's a current pr someone no dead oh he's dead oh dude she's dead do it again there's nothing
00:01:31
there's no such thing there's no such thing as political murder political
00:01:38
bombings of political violence oh hillary clinton no that's not hillary clinton dead i
00:01:44
said hillary's alive she's alive yeah yeah she just looks dead yeah she looks dead yeah yeah margaret
00:01:51
thatcher oh is that margaret thatcher yeah that's in a british accent that's how she talks though no she was
00:01:57
british yeah but she talks like that let me hear it one more time what's so funny yeah guys i don't think that's funny at
00:02:03
all that's me you know how i know this huh because i watched four seasons in a week
00:02:08
of the crown the crown people yeah i know i could tell that you watched the crown that's where that goes why because that's where that came from that
00:02:14
well you saw that show yeah i watched the crown yeah i love the crown not only do i love the crown i want to be the crown you want to be in the crown
00:02:21
no i want to be a i want to be a prince oh you don't mean in the show you mean in real life like in real life i want to be a prince
00:02:28
and live in a royal family in the whole thing but i would do my own things can you imagine if a princess kissed the frog and then he turned into you
00:02:34
and how upset you'd be and she'd probably kiss me to get back to the frog
00:02:40
holy [ __ ] she's like no no no no no no no no no no yeah no because i would love to um you could be a pr could he be a prince
00:02:48
oh that face yeah i don't like that face i don't know why i don't think you could be a he couldn't be a prince like right now
00:02:54
yeah right now right now he's got prince hair he definitely has princess prince hair i would like i
00:02:59
would probably be born the last you were the last prince no no like if i if my dad mom was the queen
00:03:06
i would be the last kid so it's like there would be five kids ahead of me so i would never be you'll never be king
00:03:11
yeah so then i would just be like [ __ ] around that's a really good idea by the way that's a great idea for a movie as the
00:03:16
last i would spray paint like little symbols on like vases and stuff around the castle
00:03:21
well like swastikas what kind of city no no i would probably do like a chinese face oh oh oh on the cat oh right right two
00:03:28
line chinese eyes thing and a big smile what dynasty would you be a part of royal england
00:03:33
but yeah but yeah what do you mean but you're not that's what's great about it well because it's like oh something
00:03:39
could be a mystery oh right someone slept around with somebody somebody did something someone from the meeting somebody did something and
00:03:45
and now it's like i'm in all the tabloids because they maybe in the beginning they think asian prince born to the royal family no
00:03:53
he's white but he looks asian no you're they're unmistakably asian no no i look white no i know i look
00:04:00
asian but i'm white sir sir you do not look white no but can i just say this yeah what if like queen elizabeth had me
00:04:07
right and she had me at like 50. they would be like she cheated on an asian guy right right before i was
00:04:14
born right she she's old and she tumbled down the stairs and just rolled on her belly a bunch of
00:04:20
times i just listened right right and then all of a sudden like um a butler came didn't see the queen there
00:04:26
and they tripped on her an asian whoa whoa there's no asian involved in anything that's my point is that you're not here
00:04:32
yeah i'm just telling you why i came out and then like she and then all of a sudden i'm able to get the ball um
00:04:40
i'm about to get bored just let me finish all right you're about to get a morning and then go we gotta do it now let's do it outside they take the queen out they're in
00:04:46
buckingham palace in a courtyard right go to the fountain right no yeah the fountain the baby comes out and
00:04:51
like the sun is so bright you know i go ahead
00:04:56
ah right and it just stuck like this it singes your face yeah like this and then i'm like the one that looks
00:05:03
asian but i'm really a windsor you're really truly a winner i'm truly 100 of windsor
00:05:09
do you buy that why not he's asian yeah you're asian yeah you're so asian
00:05:16
look that's what they could tell the tablets but the truth would be the queen slept around with somebody but we would never reveal the truth how funny would
00:05:21
it be though yeah if they're like we don't really know who we'll never be able to know who and that's all we're saying and then the
00:05:26
press walks away and cut to one of the vendors selling like little british flags and it's just one asian one so little old
00:05:32
asian man that's come funny or i'm like you know how like you go to
00:05:37
different rooms and there's different photos and i'm wandering around and i'm just you know maybe i'm 16.
00:05:43
yeah i see it and my older my older brother my older brother charles is already yeah i mean no better name no charles is
00:05:50
a guy already no but prince charles i'm a part of the windsor family so prince charles is my older brother you're the next generation you're like the new generation
00:05:56
oh you're saying that i'm william's baby correct you're william and kate's baby oh i'm
00:06:01
william and kate's baby yes you got to be the new ninja generation right yeah so william and kate had a baby right it looks asian they blamed it
00:06:08
on the sun and i'm walking around right the castle just moping mad everyone calls me asian but i'm not i'm
00:06:13
a windsor right and i go to this one room there's a bunch of photographs yeah right yeah and i see my mom kate right yeah
00:06:21
beautiful beautiful and she's like in a pool splashing around with ken chung
00:06:26
[Laughter] right and then everything just kind of
00:06:31
right and i'm like the guy from the hangovers baby that's your dad yeah that's your papa
00:06:37
right and now you're on a journey to go find your dad right i don't want it to be ken jong and the movie can be played by ken jong but the
00:06:42
real guy is um all right fine it's a pool party hirohitos right emperor hirohito's grandson
00:06:48
grandson right right great great great grandpa yeah toshi toshi and he's jacked
00:06:53
together toshi yurihito he's jacked out of his mind like right right so then this is what
00:06:59
happens and you have to go on a journey to find tokyo this is what happens there's a scene in the movie yeah where
00:07:04
i go to the bathroom and i take off my shirt and i do a thing what like cause he's
00:07:11
jack right he's so strong so i go and i do a thing and i do this and a
00:07:16
couple becomes 16. a couple little muscles right and i go that's my dad that's your destiny
00:07:23
because i could see a little pet your little ass when you squeeze really hard and then abs come out yeah like right and i'm like this and i'm
00:07:30
like that's my dad just a little fart comes out as the abs are forming why why because that's the
00:07:35
comedy part of you you're gonna you're gonna flex and be like that's my destiny and the scene goes
00:07:41
[Music] right and the muscles go down they go down right as you focus just fart
00:07:47
bubbles fart air in my skin that makes it it's not even it's not even muscle
00:07:53
right right and we cut to you on the airplane going to go see your father yeah but do i is there a scene
00:08:00
where i go to kate no you forget about them she's a princess so
00:08:05
i go to she's the yeah she's not queen yet because it goes charles is going to be king and then he has to die
00:08:10
they're both dead at this point they're totally both dead oh so william is king 100 she's princess she's not a queen yeah
00:08:17
i don't know how that works it works that way i think like queen elizabeth's um husband is prince philip right
00:08:24
okay wait wait wait he just died who gets to be remember that guy yeah and they drove him home yeah yeah
00:08:30
they're going to be laughing 20 years ago he was dead look at this left the hospital feeling
00:08:35
good that's that one the middle photo that the one in the car where is oh we'll go to the far right
00:08:41
yeah they won the car look at this one feeling good feeling dude he's not dead there he's
00:08:47
dead they're dead there he's got to be dead there because his eyes are stitched open they put in stuff to be like hold it
00:08:53
yeah hold it hold it yeah do you think he looks in the mirror like just uh
00:08:58
you know what they gave him they just put smelling salts like we did under his nose just for the picture my god he lived
00:09:06
forever 99 he was 99 99 years old he was there's the there's another one where they try to really doctor him up there do you see
00:09:12
him in the suit with a blue tie i mean oh my god it's like dude zoom in please yeah pick that up yeah you know what
00:09:19
they did they photoshopped his eyes and just put it on the emperor's eyes in star wars
00:09:26
that's what it looks like cgi just use prince philip's eyes apparently if you're a part of a royal
00:09:32
family yeah that has hundreds of years of incestual mating you live long because they're all they
00:09:38
all live a long time yeah how come when there's how come when there's a sexual mating like in the south
00:09:44
it's really sad and some some reason in england it's because i don't
00:09:54
the ones in the south you know me just [ __ ] their brother or their mom or whatever never mind it's always brother i think it's brothers or sisters or it's never
00:10:01
mom i don't think it's ever the mom i don't think the mom has ever probably sometimes no if anything it's the dad yuck i don't
00:10:07
want to talk about yeah it's gross anyway well that's what the royal family so this is what so you came from that's my grandmother that's my great
00:10:13
grandfather great great grandfather right wait that's my great
00:10:19
yeah great great not my grandfather my great grandfather your great grandpa yeah yeah so look at that rudy that's
00:10:24
your great grandpa there's a scene maybe we shoot this in oh this is he's already dead but maybe in the movie
00:10:29
he's come back to life no a ghost oh and he haunts you yeah no he and every time i see him he
00:10:36
wants to say something like encouraging but whenever i see him because he looks like that i i just run yeah you freak out right so
00:10:43
he's got all the advice and you just
00:10:49
but so i go to japan and i find toshi yeah yeah but guess what what what happens toshi
00:10:55
doesn't want anything to do with you so you say well i'll fight you to the death drop what you'll fight him to the death he
00:11:01
goes because he says he's like you're not my son and you're like i am your son yeah
00:11:06
look and you show him the muscle thing right he sees it yeah and then he's like yo no
00:11:12
to my son no he could go back on he could go like this you can go you're not after i go
00:11:17
right yeah he can go you're not my son see and he doesn't do an accent when you're gonna if you're gonna do the job
00:11:23
you're not my son you're not on my side no not on my son yeah see and he does it and what if he did
00:11:30
a fork comes out for him that's the connection i told you dad [ __ ] i told you they're not muscles they're fart
00:11:35
bubbles those are front bubbles on your skin you [ __ ] bastard this feels like a
00:11:40
a short story from like roll doll or something like that out of where the sidewalk ends anyway i love the crown it's good
00:11:46
it's a pretty good show it is a good show didn't like the fourth season the diana stuff uh it's sad because it's depressing as [ __ ] cause
00:11:52
they put up because they had her killed it's nuts dude i've been so i didn't have them come on 100
00:11:58
she was killed she was not killed do you know anything about princess diana yeah i saw the documentary do you think
00:12:03
that they had her killed or do you think it was a total accident i think they have them kidding they had their kids the family no they didn't she
00:12:09
was a commoner they didn't like that for me they didn't like her dude they didn't know you haven't you think that like henry's wife
00:12:15
meghan markle's gonna get killed no it's because it's too late also meghan markle also meghan markle's
00:12:20
not gonna become she's not anything all right because she's the one she's the princess of sussex
00:12:26
that's nothing dude i'm the princess of sussex i don't know i'm the prince of essex
00:12:31
i'm the princess of muppets of muppets and she's a buffoons yeah yeah no see that if they're going to kill anybody
00:12:37
they would've killed kate but they love kate because she comes from she comes from high status see what i'm saying well no they all was
00:12:43
checked off on her and they all encouraged it i know but my point is um uh uh uh charles uh cheated on
00:12:51
what's her name with you know the girl he was with who was he just went camilla yeah with diana so the family
00:12:57
hated her because they were still like going back and forth yeah in the middle of all this [ __ ] yeah that's why they had her killed dude they had her clip
00:13:03
they didn't have a kill did they have her clip rudy you voice your opinion on it she saw the documentary yeah they had the clip they had her
00:13:08
clipper they have underwear they have a clip they have a clip where they have her they had her clip let's roll the clip of the murderer
00:13:14
let me what did you say can i just see what you did the other day just i always have to do um a little
00:13:20
alert she's more she's she's here less and less and less mentally i know but yesterday was the worst what
00:13:27
happened so they they came home from the beach beach malibu uh santa monica
00:13:34
yeah man when they're going up the stairs i go here's my chance so i um pretend i was dead
00:13:43
i go here's my chat so i laid on the ground right why would you do that dead you just laid
00:13:49
down i just laid down like i was dead did you put any blood out or anything no no but i just i made my body like as if
00:13:54
i was like fell in a weird way right down the stairs no just up in the living room well they
00:13:59
wouldn't buy that how would you would you had a heart attack maybe i get it maybe you could so i'm laying there and i can see her she can see me from
00:14:06
the kitchen who can her oh right she's putting stuff away or whatever right
00:14:11
she looks at me she still does her thing then she eventually goes cheeto bobby
00:14:17
like no no are you okay nothing is everything going is everything all
00:14:22
right nothing nothing absolutely nothing wow so let me ask you
00:14:28
something you didn't believe it at all i didn't what did you think he was doing sleeping i saw his eyes open and closed no you're
00:14:34
not good at playing dead bro you're not good at playing dead andrew do it right now do die right now
00:14:42
that's what she saw that didn't look good no that's not what your face does
00:14:49
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's more like it like you're sucking a little penis or something no yeah yeah trembling lip you're dead i'll
00:14:56
go i'll go dead for you ready this is me dead no no no that's motionless you're falling
00:15:02
asleep in a movie theater this is me falling this is me that is me no you're drunk you're drunk
00:15:08
i'm drunk yeah this this is uh this is me dad yup you're dead so anyway she didn't see
00:15:17
my eyes and my point is is that she she doesn't care she did see your eyes didn't you why don't you care if tito
00:15:23
bob um passed away i would care oh wait a minute rudy update did what's
00:15:29
his name hit you back on instagram yeah and what did he say he thought it was me
00:15:35
what he thought it was me saying it yeah oh what bob said yeah yeah wait what did you say again
00:15:40
what did what did we say bring it out again yeah i want to see it was he mad no did you are you guys still
00:15:45
chatting um ningo adi have you been chatting with him what's his name diego diego diego diego you guys aren't
00:15:53
chatting anymore no why not did he blow it i don't know he's just busy
00:15:58
he's busy this girl you're a famous podcast star how is he busier than you bro what does he do i i have a feeling
00:16:06
yeah she's gonna be living at her house for the rest of her life yeah forever i feel like she's going to be just
00:16:11
that girl i'm okay with that what are you getting angry for read what
00:16:17
he says you have every opportunity to meet guys but anyway go ahead reread what reread what y what bobby said that we
00:16:24
that he thought you said okay okay bobby said over a thousand sons oh yeah how long is
00:16:31
it good i like that by the way you looked hella ripped
00:16:36
[Music] you lying yeah you lying and you should
00:16:43
have wrote back no cap i don't say that do you know what no cap means wait let's see if bobby knows oh
00:16:49
did you know lie you didn't know it didn't matter i didn't know but let's move on all right so what else what else what else
00:16:55
no cap dog so what did he say he said you lying and then i said t to bobby and tito andrew said that
00:17:02
and then what and he said i'm honestly kind of surprised it sounds
00:17:07
like something you'd say oh see we formulated that's so good and then what'd you say after that high
00:17:13
five and i said i would never say anything like that haha imagine
00:17:20
reading that i would never i would never say anything like that you know how bad he felt how many has two hours huh
00:17:27
that's so lame it's so long and that was the end of this conversation there's more but is there any
00:17:32
discussions of like coming up to la and hanging out there is he said that if i was in
00:17:37
san diego then we should hang out and if he's in la we should hang out no [ __ ] what a stupid no he should make
00:17:44
the effort give give the guy a break no i don't give a [ __ ] get on the [ __ ] train listen up diego get on the [ __ ]
00:17:51
pacific coastliner okay it's the train that comes up here take your ass on the train get to downtown la get in a [ __ ] uber and
00:17:58
get your ass over to their house you understand me pick her up in the uber go to the movies do people go to the
00:18:04
movies right now they do she went to a movie you do quiet place too take her to the movies go see a movie that's out
00:18:09
drop her back off and get back on the [ __ ] train get the [ __ ] down to oceanside
00:18:16
doordash i'll tell you what bat pal what's up my baby um i'm going to hawaii in a week and i
00:18:22
can't wait because i only use doordash in hawaii but this is funny because people might think we're kidding every time we talk on the
00:18:27
phone he's literally just ordered something to his hotel room they literally are the fastest one in
00:18:33
every place that i go to the fastest one the most used i like the app because i think the app is the easiest to use i don't like
00:18:39
some of the other apps are annoying um so if you forgot something if you need snacks drinks household assessments deodorant
00:18:44
30 minutes or less now pizza chinese whatever you need no matter what you're craving uh
00:18:49
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everything else that we said over 300 000 partners what what do you get foot fungus powder cream foot cream yeah
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subject to change terms apply top start up start hey if you're carrying a credit card
00:19:42
balance every month feels like you're in a never-ending cycle of debt it stinks me and bobby have been in debt before oh my god
00:19:48
so much what was the most debt you were ever in 250 dollars are you joking that's insane what did you do i didn't pay
00:19:54
taxes anyway sixteen thousand dollars you dread looking at your credit card statements and i wish i had uh upstart back then
00:20:01
when i had yeah right um you're not alone debt can feel crippling but upstart can help you
00:20:07
on your path to financial freedom and that's it's such a great kind of freedom yeah it is great
00:20:12
americans experience financial hardship last year because you know what and i'm sorry it's going to help you regain your footing man yeah that's
00:20:18
exactly what i was referencing whether it's paying off credit cards consolidating high interest debt funding personal expenses over half a million
00:20:24
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00:20:30
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bad friends that's upstart.com bad friends don't forget you use our url to let them know we sent you
00:20:59
loan amounts will be determined based on your credit income and certain other information provided by your loan application go to upstart.com bad friends you hear about that tick
00:21:06
tock girl that got shot in the movie theater in orange county yeah two of them it was a man in a way it was a bu imagine like being in a
00:21:12
quarantine and for a year you finally go to a [ __ ] movie and you get shot you get shot oh it's the worst story
00:21:18
let's move on but also no wait but let me say this what but they were this is why i don't like
00:21:23
this stuff and i'm being genuine they went to see the purge right it was the purge they deserve to get
00:21:29
shot is that what you're saying i mean you said that that movie is all
00:21:35
about killing off people who cares dude no but i'm saying that it gives the impetus to psychopaths to
00:21:40
do something oh really so if i'm watching like you got mail and then there's going to be a bunch of like white karen's in
00:21:45
there i mean probably that's what goes to see you got mail no just a bunch of people watch different two dead and random
00:21:50
shooting at purge movie yeah i was at the pur it was going to see the purge but the purges whole film basis is about clearing out
00:21:56
society watching a lot
00:22:02
whatever movie it is i'm saying usually these happen in violent violence you're right because the one
00:22:08
there was one in batman batman was batman yeah man they're usually violent films you're right unfortunately so don't watch the violent films
00:22:14
i i don't let me tell you something in the movie that shouldn't be the world we live in but disgustingly i would stay at home to
00:22:19
watch these films matt damon was just complaining about how there is no such thing as
00:22:24
kid the next generation is not going to know about movie theaters and it's like yeah no [ __ ] a home entertainment
00:22:30
systems now are so nice why the [ __ ] would i pay 25 for a movie ticket right well i'm not leaving my
00:22:35
house like she saw the quiet place too at the movie theater i just saw it on my [ __ ] paramount plus i watched it on my on my ipad yeah
00:22:41
yeah yeah how much was the tickets now how much are they now uh california is different by the way than other eleven dollars
00:22:48
that's it yeah cause because you're like under 12 or something no she can get away with that she's like
00:22:53
can i just ask you this though this is a real question but it's like it's like there was in the 90s when
00:23:00
television you know was showing a lot of stand-up comedy yeah that's when comedy clubs started dying in the early 90s
00:23:06
do you think though that and now people are starting to come out to live shows because there's a difference between watching a live show
00:23:13
and stand up is a pro live performance but live performances will never go away but you're watching a film is going to
00:23:18
be tough but isn't there something to watching a scary movie with a big crowd not not when there's the fear of getting
00:23:24
shot in the head that's true because stand up live performance will always be good theater will always be good broadway will always be there
00:23:31
live music will i mean did you see lollapalooza did you see uh covid ii look at look at pictures of
00:23:36
lollapalooza in chicago you know like one of the biggest musical festivals they just did the one bro shoulder to shoulder neck to neck look
00:23:43
at the images they just had dude it's no look at this nets
00:23:48
that was recently this just happened no over this past weekend no yes dude it just happened this is rona
00:23:56
dude ronaldo look at that dude right there my god oh my god that is
00:24:03
ventilator city right there yeah yeah yeah no they're back we're back shows are back and stuff i'm saying this
00:24:08
will never die live show live music will never die yeah you'll never take that away but who played at
00:24:15
you know who did um at la la palooza i don't know look up the line up there click on one of the posters right there pete you have 20 21 up
00:24:20
foo fighters post malone tyler the creator miley cyrus the baby marshmallow millennium journey megan the
00:24:27
stallion roddy rich k tradonna okay
00:24:33
biscuit modest mouse jack harlow polo g trippy red suicide boys alice in
00:24:39
wonderland slander steve brittany howard and band of horses jimmy world dermot kennedy young the
00:24:46
giant lav javon angels and airwaves i am dior saint john all time low mount joy mark
00:24:53
ruby mark rubio who's a good friend keep going you're going to do the whole thing i have ocd whitney dominic
00:25:00
touch of me you ass freddy gibbs the front robot the front bottoms did they steal that from us the front bottoms
00:25:07
the front bottoms big wild kim petross yellow claws subtronics oliver heaton's
00:25:12
cash oliver tree omar apollo ash lp arizona surprises zade crowd earth gang rico nazi jamaica jacob banks
00:25:18
white reaper peekaboo olive o'brien overpacked princess nokia okay princess nokia cautiously slay day glow trevor dan you flow me bop beep
00:25:25
bop breath okay but can i just ask you and last on the list jake dooby okay how bad does jake do be
00:25:33
feeling sucks like he gets called you're gonna be in lollapalooza really yeah yeah he looks at the poster and
00:25:39
he's like out of 10 000 names let's see him yeah yeah there he is right there yeah click on him there's
00:25:45
jake dooby yeah jake doobie jj right so then he shows up at lala they don't even give him a trailer
00:25:51
right so he's just kind of standing right next to the bathroom just in an empty porta potty yeah and he's leaning and people are like who's that guy
00:25:56
that's doobie oh is that jake doobie is that you what is he doing here i'm set to go on in 20. no wait look at the real dude if he's
00:26:04
the last on the thing he's at three in the morning well he's in one of the far tents oh yeah
00:26:10
yeah is that where the bathroom is but that's just where jake doobie is doing his show this is so mean poor jake find out he's
00:26:16
a huge fan of ours oh my gosh wait let me find out find out the real jake doobie because that obviously is not him
00:26:22
clearly just take jubi musician yeah music oh i guess that's jake duby right there yeah
00:26:28
i mean it's when you okay i'm disgusting that's really him when you google's an
00:26:34
artist names and there's only three photos of him it can't be good no i do but that i feel
00:26:40
bad but like what is that woman who's that woman down there that's jake dubois
00:26:45
that's his sister yeah that's jacinda dewby here's jake duby that actually his and here's his whoa okay this this makes no sense oh
00:26:52
yeah his one song on spotify has 2 300 plays that's it
00:26:58
2 300. that that's that's and the alive has what daddy why you die has more way more
00:27:05
i know we're gonna have to blank this out but let's hear for a second of it this is jake dubia we'll just play some other music over to the listeners
00:27:11
[Music] we'll play daddy while you die over this
00:27:18
daddy i love you daddy why you die i would run to this
00:27:28
this is the music i run to when i go running oh really so you're oh i thought you were this is what i thought [Music]
00:27:37
shout out to jake doobie i like your music jake tooby this is what i thought you meant i see you in a coffee shop i thought you
00:27:43
meant i'd run to him that you're watching the foo fighters but then you hear that song and you ran to the tent to go see him
00:27:51
jake dube is playing everybody i'm coming jake jubie i see you in a coffee shop yeah he owes
00:27:58
only one song so you show up it's like the last and then and then wait and then it's i see you in the
00:28:04
coffee shop thank you as i get to the top do it again can you do it again do me
00:28:10
one more time
00:28:15
i feel so bad for chick dude i like jake jake download his [ __ ] song you know what let's promo jake dude
00:28:21
go download jake dooby's song i see you in the coffee shop is that the name of the song
00:28:26
no the song is called run into you yeah yeah oh how weird i said i would run to it run into you let me see that a lot of palooza on the
00:28:32
list again if you show it i'm going to read it off no don't do it laundry room zoom in at the down at
00:28:38
jake doobie the aqua dolls i know who they are oh tyler and post malone foo fighter foo
00:28:43
fighter's still killing it dude see how dominatory he is the foo fighters are
00:28:48
still relevant it's been 30 years incredible well nothing yeah maybe 30 years now right incredible wow yeah some of their albums
00:28:55
are just like just classics i mean classics dave girl might be the most talented musician of our
00:29:01
generation that i've been a lot since i was alive who's lasted longer than that it's also funny it's like he's the drummer of
00:29:08
you know who dave grohl is no take it oh don't tell her dave grohl is in the band foo fighters
00:29:14
show a picture of dave grohl but he's a multi-talented musician i want you to guess what band he was in
00:29:20
first because he was in a he was in the most popular i know what nirvana yeah how'd you know how did you know did
00:29:27
you see it he read it you read it she wrote it on the phone because i listened to nirvana and i saw
00:29:32
his face really what song do you like from nirvana lithium oh lithium is a good song yeah hop would
00:29:39
you like smells like teen spirit you do down and out
00:29:45
sing it down and out sing it right now we know the chorus when the lights up
00:29:57
[Applause] [Music]
00:30:05
we do gotta help you with your english accent try it try to try really with it that's how she sounds marvelous
00:30:12
dude she sounds like a british woman that's not there's no such thing as political
00:30:18
murder political violence political violence yeah that's pretty good a little violent
00:30:25
violence yeah try south africa do one first i'll
00:30:30
do it south africa it sounds like this south africa is it significant
00:30:39
[Laughter]
00:30:48
now do hawaii you know hawaiian dude you're there all the time
00:30:58
i always go to jamaica yeah yeah there is no such thing as political violence bro
00:31:03
should we do our chinese portion now we've been learning mandarin we've been learning mandarin we want to apologize have one lesson
00:31:12
i'm doing my best john cena we're apologizing to china right now because they're mad at us do you know this chinese government wrote us a letter to
00:31:18
cease and desist this show why fancy what did they say the chinese government wrote us they didn't want us
00:31:24
to do the show anymore what did they say fans bad friends yeah yeah they say bob is very disrespectful to
00:31:30
her towards the chinese people what what did i say i don't know they have apparently they've got
00:31:36
ching chong stuff that's what they said you said that one time and then i think they got really mad about it i never said chinchon we've got a couple really you know how
00:31:42
many times you've done an asian accent on the show out of respect for you no not respect you go oh you [ __ ] you man i've never
00:31:47
done that yeah you just oh you've done that i've never what are you actually seeing that seems racist
00:31:52
what you're doing that seems racist that's what you do no i do that when i'm impersonating you yeah and then
00:31:59
you had that one guy call me right what guy i can't tell you the guy's name but there was a guy that you
00:32:05
made do an asian accent on the phone he was asian he wasn't yes he was i found out who it was and it was a [ __ ]
00:32:12
hispanic guy it is a hispanic exactly so you do but if you say the letters towards you
00:32:17
but china doesn't care about me because i'm not saying what did the ching chong say
00:32:24
was the email going ching chong ching chong ching or is it in english it was in english in english uh would it could read it to
00:32:29
me that it's broken english so i read it read it fans i don't have it here i have to paraphrase okay paraphrase okay but friends you
00:32:36
guys are gonna be uh prohibited in in china we're not gonna we're not gonna be able to stream in
00:32:43
china we'll be fans here youtube we're gonna have a few a few people there yeah we do we do we definitely get china
00:32:49
streams dude yeah i'm gonna look it up mostly because of bobby lee's uh attitude towards
00:32:54
asians in general that's bad to hear bob is that how you want us to live our
00:33:00
rest of our careers stop stop okay i'm looking right now so here we go here you go top listening countries to bad friends
00:33:06
us canada australia united kingdom sweden new zealand ireland norway
00:33:13
germany netherlands denmark finland puerto rico iceland south africa mexico japan
00:33:18
france austria belgium philippines philippines spain singapore spain singapore
00:33:24
switzerland south korea india saudi arabia italy portugal poland hong kong iran brazil united arab emirates israel malaysia
00:33:31
romania czech republic taiwan thailand guam estonia hungary vietnam indonesia kuwait chile greece russia slovenia latvia
00:33:38
turkey serbia egypt argentina costa rica qatar croatia morocco iraq slovakia ukraine colombia bulgaria lithuania
00:33:45
kenya peru panama jamaica bahrain guatemala dominican republic shawn is not on here yeah because you guys were ben we got
00:33:52
banned because of you so thanks a lot now china can't stream us can i regroup you guys i can save it
00:33:57
well then try to apologize and regroup okay dear china is that what you say i think dear china yeah yeah i think you say
00:34:04
dear china am i chinese i'm not chinese so i can't say chinese people i'm going to say dear asians yeah dear
00:34:10
asians who happen to be in china dear asians who currently live in china yeah which is
00:34:16
okay dear asians who happen to be chinese who live in
00:34:21
china perfect yeah i mean yeah i love you right
00:34:27
i love your sweet and pungent shrimp love sweetened chocolate yeah i love your sweetened punch and
00:34:32
shrimp i love the new york nukes new york style egg worlds
00:34:37
new york style eggos are so good are the best and i know that i know that it's not you chinese people
00:34:43
that created the new york chinese that's american that's american chinese but still you are the foundation in which that new
00:34:51
york came up from it it has to be very influential it's like um the beatles like was influenced by some
00:34:57
jazz i guess or blues and stuff and so he the beatles played played homage to
00:35:03
chinese people are the beatles of egg rolls of egg rolls yeah right so
00:35:09
congratulations thank you so much for challenge fat chewing on fat shout out crouching tiger
00:35:15
so good yeah and uh whatever everything everything that he's done
00:35:20
everything right he's done he's phenomenal thank you so much for jet li love thank you so much for jackie chan
00:35:25
love thank you so much for um the martial arts yep dude it's like without the martial
00:35:32
arts taekwondo yeah it goes like i'll tell you in terms of like self-defense
00:35:37
it goes guns guns are the best best right it goes semi-automatic guns
00:35:44
rockets warheads yeah in terms of that right right and then it goes to like knives schwartz knives swords knives
00:35:51
those types of things right cutlery yeah and then yeah it's third third is
00:35:59
yeah yeah so if you're in a chinese village somewhere my head fell off again i don't
00:36:04
know this is the fifth time you've done it exactly um here's another thing is i'm sorry
00:36:09
there's things i'm sorry about what are you sorry for i'm sorry about the earthquakes well you didn't cause them i know but
00:36:15
there's a lot of people damage from it you know there is oh congratulations on the wall
00:36:22
in fact it's great in fact i want to invite you to make our wall
00:36:27
because you guys made that wall thousands of years ago we can't even we can get holes in there people are
00:36:33
climbing over it why don't you guys make our wall donald trump we'll get the chinese to build it
00:36:39
they built a wall a great wall yeah it was long here's another thing about this dear chinese people
00:36:44
china you want to get milo yeah um thank you so much for the close close
00:36:51
close right technology technology um sign off to china say thank you china
00:36:57
[Laughter] um i love dude here's the thing let's go
00:37:03
back to the asian thing yeah so there's this new generation of kids that are
00:37:11
woke sure right so i've had like people like ali wong come up to me yeah and go it's so crazy the kind of
00:37:18
[ __ ] that you used to audition for yeah the stuff that was available to you and you were able like
00:37:23
to survive in that world like 95 of the things that i was offered is with
00:37:28
um asian accents or some demeaning role sure and i'm getting way better [ __ ] now
00:37:34
of course but um so there was a time in the world where i had to survive in show business
00:37:40
by playing this little game you know of being like talking about where am i raised and
00:37:45
making fun of it and this and that and also like trying to you know fight against it it was a weird kind of
00:37:53
place that i was in right and um so a lot of my humor like i like people like i'm not you guys
00:38:01
like guys like ronnie chang probably don't talk about the race and this and that but i still make fun of it and stuff and
00:38:06
i think is that really china mad or no no of course not they don't even know we exist less than one person why did we do
00:38:12
that just for a gag oh then i don't know forget what i just said then yeah no but
00:38:18
what you're saying is what we've said on the show before look when we make any of those jokes it's just out of love
00:38:24
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00:41:02
they won their first gold the philippines won their first gold
00:41:08
what was it in weight lifting the girl uh medals believe accused of being part of plot against duarte
00:41:16
duterte what is duterte the president oh that's the president the philippines he's he is they were trying to get
00:41:22
bro bro duterte is one of the worst leaders on planet
00:41:29
earth the killer's own people he makes lists right and he he does it let's get on his list you and i no no i don't want to be
00:41:35
honest because i want to go there i don't you know so what let's get on let's let's fight him you think we can't fight duterte
00:41:41
we'll fight him and win no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no we're not how big is the philippine army really dude it's 17 dudes you don't want to [ __ ]
00:41:47
with duterte why don't you want to [ __ ] with it why not why can't i because he they do
00:41:53
[ __ ] like you know i mean if like torture stuff no but like if like for instance like a social media
00:41:59
girl in the philippines right says something bad about him and then she goes like scuba diving they'll just find her
00:42:06
dead body floating in the ocean oh yeah cool mafia [ __ ] yeah that's cool we do that in america
00:42:12
we're just better at hiding i know we don't hide it but like so she won the first gold for weightlifting for weight
00:42:17
lifting do you know what she lifted i don't know this is the pride of your [ __ ] country and you don't know anything about this
00:42:23
i know her first name what is it hi dylan hi dylan and what's her last name i
00:42:29
forgot good that's good the first gold medal in the history of your country but when she wins you cannot you you
00:42:36
have to shed a tear it's it's she makes she made like joe coyne went crazy nodded joker
00:42:43
went oh i couldn't nudge it all over his belly like he went people went crazy dude is yokoya a hero in the philippines a
00:42:50
lot of people like him when she won and he she came because i think she was outspoken uh outspoking
00:42:58
against duterte right yeah and um good for her because they could get no money like before no before olympians
00:43:06
her training she's training in a field there's no you know i mean there's no facility
00:43:11
you already have the gold forget them gold is gold and it would be good for you to just let bygones be bygones and dwell solely on your victory
00:43:16
that's what the philippine president said ah it's crazy right he's trying to say like shut your mouths back i will kill you
00:43:22
and they're like they gave her like 200 000 you know that and some guy that owns like property
00:43:28
goes i'll give you this apartment that's worth 250 000. so she got a bunch of [ __ ]
00:43:33
yeah i hope so she's the only gold matters the gold medal they should treat her like she's the queen yeah there's they're mostly like murals
00:43:41
there should be they're just making murals about her let's see how much weight she lifted can i find out just look at the video oh sure
00:43:47
overwinning just you know hang on did she jerk it oh she's crying
00:43:52
it's gold for the philippines the unbelievable the philippines
00:43:59
with its first ever olympic gold medal yeah when she gets on to the flips she gets handed like three
00:44:04
chickens that's all she gets [Laughter] get three chickens and a boar sound that impressive
00:44:11
so what why and it's just heavy stuff above your head bro
00:44:19
okay that's just heavy stuff above her head okay have you seen taekwondo i love taekwondo it's the
00:44:26
worst thing i've ever seen what do you mean olympic taekwondo yeah it's the worst thing i've ever seen clearly i'm joking that this is very
00:44:32
impressive yeah yeah thank you we've got great news george kimmel
00:44:37
no longer has more followers on instagram than fancy bee we did what a great we did it you know
00:44:44
we did it bad friends family we did it fancy b officially has 20
00:44:49
000 followers and what does georgia what is george george has 17 000 oh and he'll never
00:44:56
catch up never guys we want to keep this going show the page because you know fancy
00:45:01
beep back rudy has almost 80 000. and i want fancy to catch up let's get to 80
00:45:07
000 with fancy fans we gotta post a little bit more though can i just say something else then uh-huh i think anyone following george
00:45:13
listening right now unfollow george please i want him to go lower
00:45:18
right so that we can get him a little cushion all right so i'm telling you right now and i'm going to say something right now i'm going to
00:45:24
look directly into the camera right because i'm kind of like a shaman in many ways correct right and i'm a good
00:45:29
luck charm correct so to to our listeners we're very grateful for what
00:45:36
you've done big time right we have the best fans in the whole world yep but i also have connections with the
00:45:42
spirit world he definitely and what i want to say to you is this if you right now if you follow george
00:45:50
kimmel if you unfollow him right good things are going to happen for you in this year
00:45:56
you're going to have gifts that you never thought you would receive money some money if you're single something
00:46:02
love some tang so a little bit of tank tank is coming right if you're a woman real good dick
00:46:09
real good dude like the high quality like we would suck it we would we would we
00:46:14
were gonna get that's what you're gonna get you're gonna get um you prosper prosperity health
00:46:20
good health if you have a limp limp's gone limp is gone yeah yeah yeah if you have carpal tunnel you can play
00:46:25
[ __ ] ping pong now you can get back yeah yeah get back in there right so please i'm telling you and if you don't unfollow him
00:46:33
are you going to tell him what's going to happen yeah you're going to have joint aches you'll have joint aches right you have
00:46:39
fever dreams fever dreams night sweats night sweats right and you're not just going to have wet dreams they're not wet dreams it's
00:46:45
good you're going to piss yourself every night yeah and what i've also when i do some of these shaman
00:46:50
prophecies right right and i don't know why but the your eyebrow hairs fall off they all fall out
00:46:55
yeah they just start falling off oh no like ash what happens what happens to their toes you said something
00:47:00
they crinkle they curl up they curl up and crinkle like the wizard of oz yeah like yeah and they look real nasty oh great
00:47:07
they will look real nasty also what happen happens is indigestion problems well so stomach tummy stuff yeah you want stuff
00:47:13
like it's like not crohn's but crohn's it's clone crops it's it's basically gross so please right i
00:47:19
don't want this to happen to you me neither so please and also it's hilarious it is very funny
00:47:24
so please it's hilarious so please unfollow george campbell
00:47:30
here's the goal yeah we've got a we've got how many months left in the year
00:47:35
four what do we got yeah august september october november december five months left yeah five months we've got to get fancy b to
00:47:43
eighty thousand eighty thousand and george stone and george to a thousand
00:47:48
that's our goal fancy needs to be near her and george needs to be near an open mic an open mic yeah yeah or
00:47:55
below yeah so please god please guys please we're begging you we will begin
00:48:01
so i'm gonna do a thing
00:48:10
now it's real wow it's real did you feel that yeah yeah you felt it right you did yeah
00:48:16
yeah i'll do one more toyo oh that made it that was real you found it in
00:48:22
your soul right here right yeah right here your soul went jiggly jiggle jiggly jiggle jiggles your soul
00:48:27
fancy you gotta post more if this is the deal he's putting out all this no you know what my prophecy is this right and my thing is
00:48:33
you don't even have to post fancy i believe the fans are just going to do it okay yeah yeah but i'm just going to do
00:48:40
it but also post more fancy maybe post more course a little bit more yeah yeah 66 posts is not enough it's
00:48:45
fancy b period one so keep rudy where she is or gain a few more but fancy's
00:48:50
gotta get shoot up he's gotta get if rudy's attitude doesn't change oh then you're up next on the chopping
00:48:56
yeah i'll do another prophecy on you man right but she doesn't care okay well
00:49:01
then we'll delete your account completely yeah would you would you delete your account
00:49:06
yeah if you want oh so we'll delete it right now then and you'll be completely fine with it
00:49:11
yeah she doesn't she's so cool for to not care she's too young the life life is so good nothing matters
00:49:19
it's such a great life yeah and we're just older clean cat pee good a lot dude
00:49:26
yeah a raccoon pooped on my front doorstep unless that was you it was me
00:49:34
i clicked a raccoon biggest pile of [ __ ] i've ever seen in my life in your front door stuff front door and
00:49:40
i looked on my cam the camera on the camera nothing it was me it was yeah
00:49:46
because can i tell you something yeah you would play a good racoon no i do ninja shits you do ninja shifts yeah yes you
00:49:51
can't even see me on yeah yeah yeah i flip flip flip [ __ ] flip flip out
00:49:57
in and out you can't see me i cleaned up the biggest pile of [ __ ] today and my dog because i would be
00:50:03
funny you might have saw me it's [ __ ] on your front it was actually you shooting on my front doorstep would it be funny well we'd
00:50:09
have a [ __ ] off you want to do a [ __ ] off we would have one yeah yeah kalila would be upset
00:50:15
i would have to clean it that's right yeah i did a [ __ ] off with ari shafir and it
00:50:20
i it backfired on me didn't he poop in a car he pooped in someone's car right not just the car man so he
00:50:26
he saved up a month worth of [ __ ] put it in the freezer that's [ __ ]
00:50:32
repulsive i know but he did he saved his own poop yeah in a double bag brown paper bag oh
00:50:39
my god so what he did was he probably a month worth of [ __ ]
00:50:44
and then what happened was he put it in the handle of my car so i did this [ __ ] in my fingers right
00:50:52
so i'm like what the [ __ ] i open the car right yeah you poop on your hands right and then he has
00:50:57
one on the windshield on the window just wrong window one little turd right so i go i'll just do the [ __ ] wipers
00:51:04
it was all on the wipers so it wiped [ __ ] all over it moved poop all over all
00:51:10
over the [ __ ] thing right so i went to a 7-eleven down the street
00:51:16
and i went to a homeless guy and i go dude if i get windex and paper towels at 7-eleven will you clean this he goes how much you told him it was poop it was
00:51:23
poop you said it was poop i go 50 bucks nah nah i paid him 200 to clean poop off
00:51:29
your car yeah you didn't want to go to professional car wash it was at two in the morning they have those car washes at the gas
00:51:34
station i don't know how to do that so i just had the guy played a homeless guy yeah yeah 200 bucks yeah and did you say he was he was so bummed
00:51:41
doing he's like [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] all this jew [ __ ] i think he said do [ __ ] not me he knew he knew his jewish
00:51:47
[ __ ] but wait a minute yeah yeah 200 bucks too much no it's pretty good it's a good painting
00:51:54
it feels like a fair trade yeah how much would you would it take for you to clean poop off of a car if i threw poop on bobby's car and you
00:52:02
had to clean off how much does it cost i can do it for free oh that's a
00:52:07
filipino winner that is the filipino yeah no charge no you have to charge yeah
00:52:12
100 100 that's a good rate less than the bum less than a homeless person yeah you you
00:52:19
know what we got to build your self-esteem we really do hey man you don't clean up [ __ ] for any less than five hundred
00:52:25
dollars okay okay yeah is everything okay yeah she it's so funny because she
00:52:32
doesn't like she doesn't realize that she has a lot of people out there bad friends yeah that lover right
00:52:40
to death like if if like you played loser right i played kalusa yeah if rudy would have
00:52:45
walked up in on that on that stage 800 people they would have lost it would would they have lost it dude they
00:52:52
all asked they would have lost it for you and you don't feel anything i do
00:52:57
what do you feel grateful i don't buy it i don't buy you just don't buy it yeah yeah i don't buy it
00:53:04
i am prove it prove it why don't you do this a little message
00:53:10
and this is not comedy you know i mean this is a heartfelt message that you can give to our fans to the bad
00:53:17
friends family right so please the floor is yours look into your
00:53:22
public service announcement from rudy into your camera hello everyone not a good opening yeah
00:53:32
you gotta have something stronger than yellow like what from your heart maybe go european like
00:53:38
different language that's right european yeah why don't you say it in filipino
00:53:43
in uh in uh what's your life what's the language
00:53:50
let's hear it hello see rudy
00:54:06
tiny bubbles
00:54:24
and yeah bye bye
00:54:29
bye bye is there no bye bye in philippines and what's goodbye what's goodbye there is a
00:54:35
word but i just say goodbye i forgot do people do adults say bye-bye to each other in the philippine language
00:54:41
like in that language right do you guys use american words because you just
00:54:46
didn't create like like hot like what words hospital is that no emergency room do you just say
00:54:53
emergency room you'll just say emergency room they don't have a word for emergency i think there is but it's like a deeper
00:54:59
um deep cut [Laughter] yeah you have to really be a fan of the
00:55:06
language what are some american words that everyone has to use because you didn't make one because you guys are lazy
00:55:12
there is it's just a harder word a harder word to say yeah it's your it's your language that
00:55:17
doesn't make sense yeah but in school they taught us english so
00:55:22
like like my dad right growing up he would go you go turn off iroquon aircon
00:55:30
yeah air conditioner right aircon orangey what's orange orange juice oh oh oh yeah
00:55:36
is that what an orange is i don't know i'll give him orange juice i like that a
00:55:42
lot i gotta i wish we said yeah so there's just certain words that he would like you know
00:55:47
he would just shorten up and throw in there like i remember like i went to my friend craig crawford's
00:55:52
house yeah and his stepdad like we were going out one night you and his stepdad were going out no no but craig and i were going out so
00:55:58
stepdad you know how white families they'll sit down with their son and say hey guys so i know you
00:56:04
guys are going to party but like um make sure you have my number don't drink don't drink and drive
00:56:09
um you can always don't do drugs always call me i'm here all night you know what i mean totally bc wear your seatbelt the whole
00:56:14
thing right so i remember one time craig came to my house
00:56:20
and my dad his speech was this don't do
00:56:25
don't do that's it don't do don't do and was craig like oh we won't
00:56:32
do it we won't do we won't do it don't don't do it don't which is so ambiguous because it's like
00:56:38
no anything he doesn't want you to do anything yeah but if i do anything it could be the thing that he didn't want
00:56:43
of course that's why he did it so like what did you do tonight we went to mcdonald's i told you that
00:56:50
right it just slapped me right right whenever slapped craig do you think he ever would have hit one of your friends no well my bro my brother so my dad my
00:56:57
brother steve was with his friend david oliver [Music]
00:57:02
so my dad and my dad my brother had gotten this casio keyboard thing he was a sampler yeah okay so you go
00:57:08
hello hello hello hello hello right so they're just in my brother's room playing this thing
00:57:14
laughing and they were a little too loud my dad was taking a nap so my dad ran into the room shut up
00:57:21
right completely naked [Laughter] he takes the casio keyboard right slams
00:57:28
it on my brother's head no keys are just flying right and then here's the best here's the best
00:57:34
part he's the best part yeah throws it down that's just wires my brother's crying he turns around and david oliver my
00:57:42
brother almost the human they almost got murdered because what they found on my
00:57:48
dad was the funniest thing they had ever seen what my dad had
00:57:55
toilet paper sticking out like a korean fl like like a kite out of his
00:58:01
head out of his ass because my dad always had really moist ass cheeks he would sleep with this toilet paper in
00:58:08
his ass so he turned around and then like my brother was crying but then they tried to cover because they didn't want
00:58:13
to get beat again because it was so funny wait your dad would just put toilet paper in his butt cheeky channel right in his [ __ ]
00:58:19
ass cheeks do you have to do that is that but i do have a leaky thing like he does you do yeah it's hereditary yeah yeah why don't
00:58:24
you sleep at night with a diaper or a pad i don't refuse to do it why if you're gonna get older it's gonna get worse no i have [ __ ] stains
00:58:31
you do yeah do most of your underwear has poop stains yeah right now me undies yeah yeah but i do have a lot
00:58:38
of [ __ ] stains but it's hereditary that's i don't know if that is yeah well you think that i don't finish
00:58:43
[ __ ] or i don't know how to wipe no i don't i don't think you finish i don't think you wipe properly it's not finished dude i do
00:58:49
um hello tushy [Laughter] yeah wait do you use do you use baby
00:58:55
wipes don't don't be insulting okay dude you told me that you have [ __ ] in your door listen you're 50.
00:59:02
i'm telling you right now my 50 year old friend just told me he has poop streaks in his underwear what do you want me to do i'm inquiring i'm telling you right now cha-cho right
00:59:09
it's hereditary it's not google is poop streak is poo is is a leaky anus hereditary yes i do
00:59:17
is a leaky it is hereditary google loves this fecal incontinence you don't have fecal incontinence
00:59:24
i have fecal incontinence no you don't that's your confidence that's the name of your next special fecal incontinence
00:59:30
bobby's album fecal incontinence inability to control bowel movements that's not true you can control all that and leak and it forces the feces to leak
00:59:36
unexpectedly from the rectum you don't have that that's i don't want 100 that's old people dude that's like people in their 70s and 80s i have it
00:59:42
dude you do you think you're frequently encountered 100 i have it really yeah i don't have a good diet too i
00:59:48
think that's what it is no no bad dyes don't just make you poop out of nowhere well if you eat like reese's peanut butter cups love
00:59:54
and acai bowls every day that's all you eat yeah it'll happen what did you eat today i say bowl i swear on my that's all
01:00:01
you've had i swear on my mother's life what do you eat for the day eggs that's all you had today was eggs
01:00:06
rice rice yeah and greens what salad yeah
01:00:13
that's not a bad diet i say ebola in reese's pieces is not you can't dude i have i know and i will i have and i
01:00:20
will okay speaking of which yeah your 50th birthday is coming up yeah we have to do something important i'm going to be a
01:00:26
big party i know but we have to do a bad friend's thing so we all decided without bobby right in
01:00:34
uh and we're gonna pick a winner to come party with bobby for his 50th birthday one of the bad friends fans more than one let's do ten how many
01:00:40
people do you want let's do a 10 how about this yeah let's do a competition 10 fans 10 10 bad friends fans they if
01:00:48
they live in southern southern southern california because yeah you can come up and we'll where you get
01:00:55
your mask and you have to be also vaccinated sure you have to have a vaccination card yeah wait wait they don't have to live
01:01:00
here they have to live close enough where they can get here on there if you want to fly if you will fly here they'll fly here
01:01:06
for bobby's 50th for my 50th and we'll because i'm going to have one party should just invite them to my big
01:01:11
party 100 so i'm going to have a big party where i'm going to have all the comics there and some actors and and a lot of
01:01:18
filipinos can you imagine how this is going to be so big for them what do they have to do to get to your 50th birthday party they know what they have to do
01:01:27
that's all i have to say huh they know what they have to do you're not gonna give them an email or anything
01:01:33
so they how do they submit oh yeah they have to submit that's true you have to find out somehow some way
01:01:40
that they want to come to your favorite birthday party do we want them to send in a video explaining why they deserve to come to the to the party yeah get have a good
01:01:47
example why i want to party with bobby at gmail.com because i want to feel like you're a real fan well we need to know i need
01:01:54
passion right right and i need um because i don't want you to show up and like you
01:01:59
know what's your favorite episode or whatever and like i only seen two i don't want that you don't you want a die hard i
01:02:04
want somebody that's seen every week right you know what i mean also somebody that um will give us like helpful advice in
01:02:12
terms of how we can improve at the show yeah okay and what we need to keep doing okay yeah
01:02:19
yeah just different things but the top thing is positive analysis you gotta explain why you think you deserve to come to
01:02:25
bobby's 50th birthday because that's a monumental dude it's a half a century it's huge that's huge yeah so hopefully the email
01:02:31
will be i want to party with bobby gmail.com if it's not we'll put the real one right here on the
01:02:36
screen they'll find out yeah yeah the real one will be right here right now yeah and we'll let you know what it is
01:02:42
and do you think 10's a lot 10 seems like way too many i said one yeah that's my 10. well how about let
01:02:47
rudy pick i think 10 is fine all right 10's fine yeah but it's going to be here's how about this we'll do four
01:02:54
you can bring a guest ah that makes sense u plus one u plus one that's i like that right because you want to beat google there alone
01:03:00
that that would be right but that'd be five oh yeah so do five five plus one plus one is ten yeah and also just the
01:03:06
person that you bring right just don't bring any crazies don't bring any crazies in fact i wanna know in the video who
01:03:13
you're gonna bring that's fun explain why you're why you're bringing the person right that's really good i need a little bit of a pitch
01:03:19
that's what they're doing yeah yeah yeah he's a christian right he plays batman for this call
01:03:25
whatever it might be you love badminton players i love batman that's a big thing that's gonna be at the party we're gonna have badminton
01:03:31
yeah and then i'm probably gonna do it at a restaurant well we need a room we need like a banquet room for it no i want a
01:03:37
restaurant i'll rent out a restaurant i know we gotta rent the whole thing i will mastros no something like um weird obscure
01:03:45
obscure and weird but good food chili that's a place that we no no man chili's a good place
01:03:52
chili's is great like how about like morton's like one of those the palm just like we
01:03:58
think we get that it's so expensive so what yeah you know what we'll do we'll take it from the rudy fund we'll
01:04:06
take the money from the rudy fund she'll never know ryan how will she know she doesn't even know what's in there right now
01:04:12
yes take money from them what's the date it's august today's august today is not we're august already it's next month
01:04:18
yeah dude that's what i'm saying we're gonna make a reservation now now we need to get on this right now we do have to do it yes 100
01:04:24
and do in invites yeah dude yeah we gotta do but we gotta do a big we have to start now
01:04:30
yeah who do i invite who do i invite who do you invite to your party yeah just name some people uh griffin for sure eric yeah me
01:04:38
for sure um whitney cummings yeah rudy yeah okay rudy right hey
01:04:45
pete yeah those guys come peed yeah i like them pete please submit a
01:04:51
video to i want to party with bobby yeah yeah maybe a video you got it yeah i want pete to make a video yeah about
01:04:56
fans yeah for sure and pd who's pd pink dick yeah yeah okay fine yeah then he can
01:05:02
come all right so outside of that who else some comics probably some actors i'm gonna go highball it too who famous
01:05:09
i'm gonna try for jordan peele he won't be able to he'll never do it yeah i'm gonna try for jamie lee curtis never
01:05:15
she'll never ever come i'm gonna try for um keegan will come no won't won't come will not come sasso
01:05:21
he'll come he'll come yeah you make a big list in my head i'm like what women a lot nikki glazier
01:05:27
all the podcast people like burke rice or tom sagura all those types of people bert won't come i will he's i'm saying
01:05:34
he's on the road those guys are all on the road and segura lives in austin now joe coyle invite would you invite joe
01:05:40
rogan he's not in town but i dare you to invite him i will invite him invite him and see if we'll come for your 50th birthday i
01:05:45
talked to him a couple days ago all right name female comics that you want there a lot of my openers like jake cataprida yeah
01:05:52
um nicole amy schreiber who opened for me annie letterman yeah nicole amy just opened for me this
01:05:58
weekend how great so funny yeah i would go for mark maron bill burr those types of guys yeah they won't come
01:06:04
[Laughter] billboard definitely dude i think i'm gonna come to your [ __ ]
01:06:10
50th birthday party oh magical [ __ ] two years but i went to his to bills yeah yeah but
01:06:15
he's he's more famous than you yeah he's not going to come i'm going to invite him yeah but i know he's going to
01:06:20
throw it right in the trash yeah um imagine he'll get the email and he won't even open the door paulie will come paulie will
01:06:27
have to be there i think he'll work there i think he should he should serve drinks yeah it'll be
01:06:33
you'll know people can i be honest with you we should have a dinner for our family like our clothes the close
01:06:38
people yeah and your party should should be at the comedy store no be in the main room i'm doing a
01:06:43
300-man party at a restaurant okay fine okay anyway thank you
01:06:49
bob i love you submit guys i want to party with boba gmail. what does this come on in a couple weeks
01:06:54
two weeks okay yeah and then so we'll find out who submits those videos uh excited to see them so excited i'm so
01:07:01
excited all right rudy sign us off in in what's the language again
01:07:07
say thank you for being a bad friend and pasaya on the in the camera there salamat for being a bad friend
01:07:14
no no no no no you can't assume
01:07:20
how do you what does salama mean thank you how do you say bad naughty negative no
01:07:56
how do you not know your own language it's so sad it's hard to translate
01:08:01
thank you for being a bad friend let's see if it comes close yeah thank you for being here a bad friend all right see if this is
01:08:07
close rudy all right the machine says [Music]
01:08:13
that's tagalog though all right fine then [ __ ] go to google translate pizza we can get
01:08:19
her the one that she needs google translate all right what is it called
01:08:25
v with a v yeah okay see it there no nothing wow it's not there that's how
01:08:31
much it it's it's a language only one island says right a couple of islands all right what's the closest tagalog go
01:08:39
to that try that one that's fine sorry it's up there first top so we'll just have to do it in tangalo
01:08:45
because you don't even know your own language oh you don't like that no it's fine no no stop pete type this
01:08:51
just type this in right where you're typing tell him how to spell your version we want to do your justice
01:08:56
because philippines won a gold medal this is the least we could do for the philippines yeah but the the one that juan might be
01:09:04
might be um speaking tagalog so it's fine let me ask you something can you just go
01:09:10
back can you go back can you can you go back to the philippines listen guys
01:09:15
we're going to do one language yeah not every island gets it their own [ __ ] language no it's so small anyway
01:09:22
yeah type this in it's like vermont michigan all these states having a different language okay is that close salamat
01:09:29
is good tell us how to say it
01:09:45
great that's great so do that and go go salam
01:10:00
great
01:10:06
[Music]
01:10:14
woof
