00:00:00
you two are bad friends who are these two idiots a white dude and an Asian dude you two are disgusting you two or something we're
00:00:10
bad friends I love you just the way you are wellit okay do it again I love you just the way you are I know just the way you are you not remember this guy yeah
00:00:21
um did he sing for um um The Doobie Brothers mm- he was a solo artist what's his name Aaron Neville oh oh he's black yeah black yeah he wears Chelsea jerseys too that's exactly right
00:00:35
so we got a guest in today ladies and gentlemen sketch sketch Kyle right Kyle sketch is here Kylie yes sir Kylie thanks for having me hey sketch do the do he do he he just learned about uh
00:00:48
there it is hey that's the worst uh to do a meme unintentional meme it's incredible what do you mean you had pro
00:00:54
athletes what's up brother yeah desk pop Bear yeah do do you do you do it what's up brother what's up
00:01:02
there give a little exit there and I mean how did that become a viral thing uh I was just playing with my buddy and
00:01:08
we were having like I just don't know I've tried to thought I've TR think trying to think of catchphrases and I
00:01:13
what's a brother just kind of flew by my mind you know it doesn't even like it was not even like funny or anything too
00:01:18
it's more of like I just threw up a finger and then it turned into like an inside no it's incredible well he's trying to get a catch phras can you make
00:01:24
up one for him cuz you were good enough to make up that how about this how about keep keep it Loose lady no no why no
00:01:30
keep it Loose lady keep it Loose lady and you do a little hole like this I like that yeah keep it Loose lady yeah
00:01:35
keep it Loose lady maybe city chicken or something yeah yeah O City Chicken what
00:01:40
city chicken City Chicken what your catch Fri could be City Chicken City WA what's the hand
00:01:46
gesture Double C oh just like the Crips yeah yeah you already got a I think it needs the third thing try throwing an accent on oh all so what was it City Chicken City Chicken no no don't no how
00:01:59
about City chicken no Jesus Christ there or something what is unbelievable Friendly Fire what Friendly Fire friendly fire orange chicken that's orange chicken yeah
00:02:12
you're City Chicken I'm orange chicken well are there other catchphrases that you're known for or is that it um there's other things I'm known for but
00:02:19
not catchphrases um uh what no your video gaming yeah that well this is what's interesting Bobby is old um okay and loves video games I love video and
00:02:29
you're young and you love video games this is the meeting of the world except he's more into sports sports gaming and you're more into cozy cozy gaming yeah
00:02:36
yeah you know about Cozy gaming what's cozy gaming well you've never heard of cozy gaming bro we play like half naked or
00:02:42
something no no cozy games are like stard Valley farming simulation like just cozy relax oh like Farming
00:02:49
Simulator yeah relaxing games he likes he likes why are you squinting like that he oh I just get like by like I get fog
00:02:56
in my yeah yeah yeah yeah but that's the look that you do when you take a yeah it is yeah so what do you look like
00:03:01
when you take a at that or even worse well I usually kind of put both my feet up on a seat yeah let me let me see let me see your
00:03:08
face nice that's very nice you guys both have you have both the same eyes you do know that right you mocking squinting I
00:03:15
know if it's Asian or down syndrome yours yeah what are we both doing I don't know is it Asian or down syndrome it's a little bit of both hey it's a
00:03:22
little bit of both for you yeah yeah but no he's into cozy gaming he likes Bob likes uh low stakes
00:03:30
longterm like longplay games he likes Marathon games where it takes you months you grind grind yeah I like that you
00:03:37
like grinding grinding yeah yeah yeah sometimes like you talk about like what you like getting getting getting on someone or something yeah what did you just say getting on somebody no not no
00:03:48
that's not what I mean he means putting in the work putting in the work like you know like collecting mushrooms or whatever it might be you collect
00:03:55
mushrooms wait stop stop not in my real life you think like I go and get Portell
00:04:01
mushrooms in the forest that does sound like you eat sound no no like in some games like in Skyrim like there's a are you okay I'm good lean back can you hear me can you hear me I'm
00:04:14
sorry too aggressive yeah what are you doing I'm sorry dude welcome welcome Hey this thanks for coming Asian on Asian
00:04:20
crime here yeah wow so you're a quarter what are you is there a percentage of you that's Asian
00:04:26
um no people think I'm Asian yeah more like uh Hispanic oh you're more like Hispanic yeah a little bit you say
00:04:32
you're more like Hispanic or you more you are more Hispanic I more emulate Hispanics ah oh are you a full white
00:04:38
though um pretty much yeah yeah yeah do have you done your 23 in me or whatever no I haven't I uh I need to I'm a little
00:04:45
I mean like I'm a little darker I don't think so you don't think so you're I think you look you're just white with a little bit of tan it's true yeah white
00:04:51
with tan I've been outside a lot no you're white I don't see the tan you don't see his tan at all no yeah he's a
00:04:57
little tan well have to know what he looks like in the winter oh right I don't know winter Kyle what are your colors what are your colors in the
00:05:03
winter my colors in the winter I can get pretty white okay good okay good it's pretty yeah do you ever tan your nuts
00:05:10
tan my nuts yeah yeah no okay do other things should try who wait wait wait stop this is the [ __ ] I want to get into
00:05:16
he loves this yeah Tippy tap that's it you Tippy tap your nuts nut throw throw to each side of the leg Yeah is it your
00:05:23
own nuts or somebody else's that's what happens when if you cozy game like if you're playing with your pants off or something your nuts start to get stuck
00:05:29
to your side of your thigh yep throw each side y we used to call that the Batwing mhm the Batwing yeah if you your
00:05:35
nut gets stuck to your thigh and you spread it it looks like a Batwing okay you never done that you never done that the Flying Squirrel it's called a
00:05:41
batcave when you get it stuck to your guc that's true that's a little bat cave that's something I write that down that's something I'm learning now thank
00:05:47
you so much bat cave thank you so much and you and when it gets stuck under there you can yell Alfred and it'll un
00:05:52
it'll unhang oh the butler or whatever his name is yes well the wierer did he get [ __ ] Butler I don't did Alfred ever
00:05:58
get [ __ ] in the game mov you know what the problem is Bruce Wayne kept him so away from everything you know Alfred
00:06:05
didn't have time to get ass but one time he did when in what movie I'll tell you what movie when did he get asked I'll tell you where he got asked he got ass
00:06:13
in um The Dark Knight when I'll tell you when Dude would you just let me [ __ ] talk dude I don't like being rushed by you what are you rushing me today dude
00:06:23
all right sorry my bad that was my fault thank you that was my aggression go ahead I apologize when does it happen
00:06:28
well remember the the the that Russian B ballerina thing they closed that down uhhuh right and then you know what I
00:06:34
mean then they got a yacht right and then remember Christian Bale jumped off the yacht because he going to get on a
00:06:40
plane the capture the ching chong guy yes yeah yeah yeah I don't know his name chinhan he's my friend the the actor
00:06:46
chin right and Alfred was on the boat with these ballerinas so we don't know what happened there oh the assumption is
00:06:55
he he got to pick he got to pick whoever he wanted well I mean what probably the the Sean Watson treatment yeah oh Bobby
00:07:02
doesn't know who that is no but I like it but I do get the reference and he doesn't yeah well tell me the reference it's uh like a pretty much a happy
00:07:09
ending massage mhm except with a little bit more stretching whoa so you're getting massage getting happy ending
00:07:16
while you're doing yoga yes it's a surprise to the other person it's a surprise to the other person not good so
00:07:22
you and I were SK stretching let's say you and I did Hot Yoga okay would can you see that happening in a yeah can you
00:07:28
see us doing hot yoga together I can all right I I am in Envision we're in Hawaii
00:07:33
because I know Thailand or something like that oh you want to go to we go to Thailand right the motherland well you think I'm Tai you think I'm Tai I'm
00:07:40
guessing no you're not right well guess what I am what where's Bangkok Thailand Thailand Okay B yeah yeah yeah no I'm not is that your last guess or
00:07:53
you want um uh let let me think about all the yeah yeah yeah um we'll just look Kore yes yeah let's go wow it's so good right on the money
00:08:06
right so we're doing hot uh we're doing hot yoga in Thailand right and we're stretching and then I walk up to you and
00:08:14
I just start like putting my hands on your genitals is that what you mean by the desan Lewis yeah the Deshawn Lewis
00:08:21
that's what he's talking yeah yeah yeah okay that's what he's talking about yeah yeah is it desan Lewis what's his name Des Sean Watson Des Watson exact have
00:08:27
you ever had a happy ending I've done it to myself many times have you ever had have you ever had an app handing I've
00:08:34
been to Vegas yeah okay good that sounds good I mean have you gotten a hand job how old are you by the way 25 you're 25
00:08:41
25 so I assume you've had a hand job before uh yes sir they're the worst yeah do you like them or no um they're pretty
00:08:48
uh I don't I don't prefer them yeah let's let's get the let's get to the the other parts yeah oh what are the other parts I don't know from your part of this country I don't know it could be
00:08:58
different oh this yeah Head and Shoulders oh I don't know but yes second second base second Bas Head and Shoulders do you like sucking on titty or what I
00:09:11
do you a you're you're a butt guy or you a titty guy um hey I I love [ __ ] titties knew it I knew you were one of us the American way I knew it God God is good God Bless America greatest country
00:09:25
in the world it's the best country you know you can't do that in any other country you can't titty [ __ ] overseas I know they shun it well in Asia their
00:09:31
titties are so small it's very difficult yeah too small things don't do you know you're just doing chest bone
00:09:37
[ __ ] you know I mean they have these hard chest bone Korean legs you just got to rub it against the chestone but that
00:09:43
is that is that you know that is how they make uh fire Wasabi and wasabi [ __ ] a pigeon chest what like
00:09:51
[ __ ] a pigeon chest very good true yeah I like whoa dude I like that broad shoulder are you seeing now Kylie um seeing someone no not specifically okay I'm kind of just
00:10:04
doing try outs kind of like oh you got like that so when you go out on a DAT um let's say I'm a girl can we pretend yes sir yeah my name is loop loop oh I love
00:10:16
her this is my favorite crit character I've never made I love loop loop yeah I'm loop loop yeah
00:10:22
no you doing that's your Italian Italian yeah yeah all right I'm loop loop perfect hi what's up brother hey hey
00:10:33
sister very good already you're already sucking his dick where where are we going where are we going yeah hey let's
00:10:38
just go straight to the crib whoa yeah but I it's 600 p.m. I haven't eaten I thought we're going to have dinner okay
00:10:44
uh Sushi okay where brother Thailand we're going to go to Thailand whoa this guy's going to fly you to Thailand so now we're on a plane that's that's probably the easiest way to get to play there whoa she going to fly all the way
00:10:59
to Thailand to get sushi possibly you but you don't know any sushi places in LA or Texas no no okay fine we're going
00:11:07
to we're going to get some chicken or something oh chicken well it was a downgrade yeah
00:11:13
yeah yeah Sushi we went from Sushi to chicken the way you're dressed you know you look like you probably give it up pretty easy who wa wait you're saying
00:11:21
that I'm fat no I no it's no it's the small hands inide oh I have a little dainty hands no I'm just kidding okay okay anyway so we're what chicken place are what's my name loop loop loop loop
00:11:33
loop loop yeah yeah it's loop loop don't forget it mister yes sir so um what chicken place are we going to um city chicken oh city chicken is it is it good
00:11:46
City Chicken C City Chicken activate mhm wa one of the best spots in La really good so we go to City Chicken and then and then what do we are we getting dessert or we going back to your crib back to the crib okay probably I don't
00:11:58
go on many dates I usually just I know that's why we're acting it out dude I'm trying to help
00:12:03
you I'm trying to [ __ ] help you this guy's the dating I'm the dating [ __ ] Guru dude I'm trying to [ __ ] let's get
00:12:10
this show on a road I know but you can't go right the [ __ ] dude hey yeah yeah I think he can
00:12:17
all right so we're we're at your crib now we're at your crib right nice place excuse me why you squinting I'm trying to zoom in right now
00:12:29
oh you're zooming in wait for you to get longsight you have to zoom in these these when they gave me these yeah yeah they gave me two different sides and two different strengths and like uh I didn't
00:12:42
like that so it's just like I can't really see that great but I just didn't feel like going back he's zooming in oh
00:12:47
you're zooming in zooming in and then you know what I'm going to zoom into you too whoa that's hot I thought you were
00:12:54
already zoomed in I'm zooming in do I zoom I'm so sorry I got Co sorry I'm coughing I have Co I feel D
00:13:07
hey look that's the origin loop loop over wait wait you think I'm from Wuhan China a little bit of bat soup take loo for some this turning very cinon and [ __ ] racist
00:13:20
whoa anyway so we're watching we want to watch a movie cuddle up on the couch uh sure what do you want to watch
00:13:29
what what what I want what do I want to watch excuse me I thought we were GNA [ __ ] what are
00:13:35
you okay you just want to [ __ ] all right so I I didn't I I didn't bring any condoms do you have
00:13:41
any no sir no loopop no no loop loop are you just want to RW dog it sure he didn't think about it yeah sure he went straight wow so that's your style I've
00:13:55
already got my I've already got my booster and all that stuff I'm good oh you're vaccinated sir oh that's cool yes ma'am wow and you these homies who are these homies you're with these guys
00:14:06
yeah that's my brother the black gu your brother it's my manager and my camera guy oh that's cool dude not that camera
00:14:12
guy the new camera guy the new camera gu the new camera guy do you have any questions for my my little I'm really
00:14:18
loving loop loop I got to tell you losing my [ __ ] over here with her yeah yeah well you love loop loop I love it's a pretty good great thank you so much so
00:14:25
you're single though sketch huh yes sir you're running around having a good time actively actively in play oh good for
00:14:30
you well you're not on the apps though uh not really can't use them can't can't really too famous uh no just not enough
00:14:37
good picks oh kind of got kind of got to show up in person well now do you get your girls from DMS um DMS and we'll see
00:14:45
just go to parties or just go out oh a party no not hey Diddy party please don't go to those hey no party like a sketch part are you throwing parties at your
00:14:59
house no I so like I live with banks right now and uh I mean like uh we just I just go I'll go places sometimes but mostly like just out to like I don't know I'm trying to think of I usually
00:15:09
just get addresses from people good whether it's a place or like like a restaurant or something yeah yeah good
00:15:14
for you will you get addresses I don't can you explain he's young and successful and they tell him where to go
00:15:20
oh they say come here come party here go there go party there and then when you party do you drink I drink uh smoke a
00:15:26
little bit weed mostly smoke some weed weed yeah yeah you do Molly oh no okay have have never never have interested have you take have you taken Molly yeah many what what's it do what's it like
00:15:37
feels good put you back in that loop loop scenario yeah yeah yeah my Wiener's tingling what's up brother I think that's the that's another baby catch phras my Wiener's tingling my Wiener's
00:15:53
tingling wow that's a good one you got to add like a would you add a hands on with it yeah doubles the doubles the
00:16:00
chances of it oh you got to put in an emote with what that you're saying makes sense do your penis tingle of in um no
00:16:08
but it does burn sometimes uhoh yeah uhoh hot dog that's do you know that tast I have one
00:16:15
kidney so sometimes it just comes out like pretty but piss will come out pretty orange or something like that
00:16:21
what happened to the other one um born with one you're only born with one with one I think someone I think someone
00:16:26
probably harvested somebody took it where were you born uh I was born in Arizona oh yeah they take it out there
00:16:31
yeah that's where they take it Phoenix phoenix WoW but you live in Texas now yes sir yeah yeah what city I live in
00:16:38
Houston oh it's a good City the Big H love the big I love I love living in Houston would you ever move to
00:16:43
California you like it out here or no I like get out here for like purposes like this but besides that uh I like living
00:16:49
in Houston I've lived there my whole life so I just it's that's just kind of a Vibe yeah that's where all your people are yes sir yeah I get that how you
00:16:56
handling Fame pretty uh I don't know i' take everything like day day at a time like you like it's a more like uh I
00:17:03
don't know it happened pretty fast I never thought i' like I don't really care to be on camera or stuff like that
00:17:08
like it's pretty fun but like you seem very comfortable here yeah no like like I meant like uh like I me like uh just
00:17:14
like cameras and stuff like always I was never like I ever like public speaking or anything like that well we never learned public speaking we just do it
00:17:20
yeah we did yeah we did but I bet you but hey but guy I bet you can do all kinds of public speaking Yeah if like
00:17:27
just do a little test here do a do a little let's do a TED Talk do a presidential debate oh would you like to
00:17:32
do a president with with uh president Carver here okay and I'll be the CNN mod moderator
00:17:40
all right all right okay so um well unlike my opponent I excuse me sir yeah we just started okay and I have to I have to do the introduction oh sorry so welcome CNN I'm Sally Stevens and I'm
00:17:52
the um moderator today and welcome and today is um the the um democr ratic nominee president Carver right hello and we have um the
00:18:05
Republican nominee um president um what's your last name Cox Cox anyway let's get the let's get it is let's get I know it is let's get the debate on the road okay so um about
00:18:21
immigration what is your stance president Carver well loop loop I'm glad you asked [ __ ] unlike my opponent
00:18:29
I I like people of all color uh my opponent has said often that he does not like minorities it's kind of The Stance he takes it's what he's talked about often it's on his shirts it's on his
00:18:40
hats yeah um and you know I'm full in support of him my opponent has a tiny [ __ ] he's got a baby dick okay okay whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa
00:18:54
a little too fast you know what what that gets my vote get my that just got my vult I went
00:19:01
three states down south baby wow look at that that's incredible dude you should run I know I'm thinking about it yeah yeah so you're taking Fame day to day does it ever does it ever freak you out
00:19:13
a little bit uh yeah I like it's more like I'd wake up and go like I it doesn't feel real or something I but
00:19:18
like seeing when you see pro athletes when you see pro athletes do what's up brother does that [ __ ] with your head do
00:19:24
that [ __ ] you up a little bit turns me on hell yeah no I'm just kidding it's uh the take that wrong
00:19:30
way yeah no it's uh it's pretty sick I mean like I I mean like I I'd never got the whole thing like i' what's up brother I did one time so it turned into like a whole Meme and like kind of like
00:19:40
that's all people say to me I have to say it back to him you don't have to so it's like a oh no no you don't have to
00:19:45
say it you can just let it go well is it annoying or do you want to oh no I like it blessing in blessing disguise I just
00:19:51
never really got the whole it's just like what's up brother like you know what I mean I thought that was a pretty c yeah but it's your Cadence it's your
00:19:56
look it's your style it's who you are oh that's what people got into okay they like that you know like they like that
00:20:02
the rhythm of it is good they like the way you present it stole that from djt God bless hey they like you and that's a
00:20:09
good thing that's it that is good yeah yeah um usually these things happen when you don't try you see a lot of people
00:20:16
try what you laughing at Carlos djt okay what does that mean Donald J Trump okay okay yeah are you okay
00:20:30
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thank blue for sponsoring the podcast are you just football or do you like it you like I like all sports mostly just
00:24:55
football though football football is like where my claim is I played that when I was growing up did wrestling and
00:25:00
stuff like that but like never really [ __ ] with it too much yeah you on the wrestling team i' for a little bit it
00:25:06
would sucked you get your ass kicked a couple times I was I was a chubby 170 so I'd go out there and wrestle like a real
00:25:12
170 wow they kind of like throw your round you know this guy was a uh an extremely good high school wrestler so
00:25:17
was his brother really that's true yeah yeah what weight no you guess the weight guess the weight I thought Sumo was one
00:25:23
weight bro very funny but I just you know because I'm being I just want to Asian jokes are layups I'm
00:25:34
sorry y'all don't fight back right well they can't yeah yeah yeah so yeah I I just did Collegiate wrestling not Sumo you did yeah I did yeah yeah you
00:25:46
ever did Collegiate wrestling well I did what high school whatever high school was it freestyle at your school or what
00:25:51
oh yeah like no I what's the other one I didn't coli that's what it's called regular where you stand you right I did
00:25:57
four I did four years you're four year and what weight do you think i' wrestled you look like you're
00:26:03
uh probably 180 right now oh little wait what do you think you're wait you're not
00:26:10
180 no I am you put a one in front of it I you start with a one okay 225 225 yeah 225 wow I got to get on o zic I think that's it that's the final straw no it's he yeah dude dude that was
00:26:24
[ __ ] crazy you think I you think I came in aggressive right Sumo and then I'm 280 what the
00:26:31
[ __ ] is going on around here hey you look like you got soft skin come on in a good way though in a good way yeah I do
00:26:37
I do I love this guy D I know he's the best hey we'll be tip to tip later yeah you will wait stop can we
00:26:45
slow down no I'm sweating now yeah I'm sweating now you're drooling a little yeah I'm drooling too you mean
00:26:52
doc space docking yeah space docking yeah yeah yeah you got a sleeve do you have a sleeve are you clipped oh me um
00:27:00
whatam call it I took a little off the top at the start you took a little top yeah me too it's got a little buzz that's what I told him when I when I
00:27:05
came out I said a little off the top yeah so that we have no way of docking yeah so you you're right it would be tip
00:27:10
to tip but it be like it'd be like this huh is am I the pinky oh you're both pink oh yeah you have you have a nice penis
00:27:25
check Google okay this guy fast dude this guy's so fast dude we love you dude I love you Bo I want to know about your family so are your parents proud of you yeah like I have great parents great
00:27:37
family um blessed with the people I like uh was raised by oh cool dude all the things after the fact were uh my own
00:27:44
doing what what do you mean after the fact um well like up till uh like I they can they raise you till you're 18 or
00:27:50
whatever so I mean like they taught me everything that was right and wrong and then you did your own thing after that
00:27:56
um yeah we like Freestyle I'm working on it but like you know every we're all working on it yeah are cuz like you know
00:28:02
like he's working we're all working on something everyone's working on something Bobby's sobri sobriety right
00:28:07
I'm trying to get uh stop being so angry all the time yeah yeah and uh we're both we're failing at both we're failing at
00:28:12
both what are you getting sober from oh drugs and alcohol generally like what what was your drug Choice well over the
00:28:18
years it's been different at times you know sometimes it's been alcohol sometimes it's been just weed sometimes it's been opiates yeah crack one time it
00:28:26
was crack crack so now I'm F I'm fine now you know mine yeah my is probably weed weed probably too much weed all day
00:28:33
every day yeah yeah a little bit before here a little bit when I wake up a little bit before I go to sleep you ever
00:28:39
taken a dab before oh yeah oh yeah yeah I couldn't I I spoke gay look after I got so so [ __ ] high unbelievable man I hated it I didn't like it I don't like to feel that out of control too high
00:28:51
that's true I want to be a little bit high and just Coast through the day have you ever taken Saad delic in yeah but
00:28:57
it's different kind of trip you know like psychedelics is more involved it's more peaceful dabs hits you in the face
00:29:03
really hard I don't like it that hard feels like Beane going I want it Slow and Low baby that's true Slow and Low so
00:29:11
I'm I'm gonna ask you you don't have to get you have to dulge but I am curious because your manager is here and you
00:29:16
know what that means you're making money yes sir whenever they come along you know they're making good money now so
00:29:21
you're making good money huh and you got and I don't know where he works but he's a fancy manager fancy manager you mean
00:29:28
this guy right here right there yeah yeah you like you like he's fany yeah he's wearing the same jeans you work for
00:29:34
a company or you solo yeah whoa see even that [ __ ] response right there yeah yeah very fan
00:29:40
well I'm going to ask him cuz we can hear him on the mic not him you know your attitude today dude just trying to help the whole thing with I know you
00:29:47
know oh my bad your manager you met how long ago um January is right so it's this is fresh yes sir and is it going
00:29:53
good is he treating you right yeah great great guy we'll have him killed if he's not easily yeah what kind of stuff is it
00:29:59
getting you into um like in terms of like deals or like yeah just yeah we're do I mean like I I signed a couple deals
00:30:05
like I got a deal prize picks oh yeah we love priz stuff like that and um uh I make most of my money from twitch though yeah your Twitch streaming is the thing that kind of popped you hard too right yeah twitch twitch pays pretty well and
00:30:18
then I do YouTube as well yeah um what's the game you're playing on Twitch the big game I mostly play on Twitch uh I do
00:30:24
like IRL stuff more now but like I play a lot of Madden and stuff like imagine yeah like the the gaming stuff like
00:30:30
during the summer kind of It kind of dies off and IRL kind of takes over what's IRL I'm dumb um in real life but
00:30:36
what is that what what are in real life games so it's like instead of behind desktop it's like when you take it and you're free roaming like you could be
00:30:42
doing anything but it pretty much means like off a computer no [ __ ] so when kids are like kids are in school that kind of
00:30:49
like uh the desktop CU like they they'll go to school go home and then they'll watch they'll watch people game but like during the summer like a kid would rather play games and watch someone be
00:31:00
outside kind of like so it kind of goes through ups and downs of like God that's such an interesting thing man I love it
00:31:07
yeah it's pretty awesome people have pitched him because they people want to watch him play oh yeah but you so you're saying don't do that in the you should
00:31:13
have you well what I'm going to do I think I people really responded to me um starting a farm on stardo Valley so I
00:31:19
might I'm going to start a brand new farm and I think I'm going to Vlog it yeah you should it is good yeah yeah
00:31:25
we'll see what happens but um youever play war zone uh sometimes not really I'm just trying to figure out a game
00:31:31
where I can play with you try Madden yeah I just don't know how it works you know that's the only problem well you
00:31:37
know you know football yeah I mean I think I know the the the system of uh scoring system wait is this loopo ask me or this is well Loop Loop and Bobby Lee are similar they kind of are
00:31:50
interchangeable they're kind of a two in the same person yeah yeah you know how some that's wearing a skirt under there
00:31:55
yeah that's his Italian gangster there he is you know oh yeah if you want to go and talk to Vinnie you can talk to
00:32:01
Vinnie you know yeah do you want to talk to Vinnie who's that that's Vinnie right there yeah I'm like that [ __ ] what's
00:32:07
split I'm like the movie Split right yeah I do this but then I also do loop loop if I I Capt if I captured you let's say you got knocked out just let me just
00:32:20
here right you got knocked out right and you were in a Cellar somewhere you're tied to a [ __ ] pole metal Pole right
00:32:26
I can see it now and I'm like split I come out right no shirt maybe a wine shirt right and I'm like you doing you
00:32:32
know what I mean and I did these character just would you be scared I would be SC I would be scared up to a certain
00:32:38
point you like what level of scared do you think oh throw probably throw it like mid-range probably five what what you got you got like a you got an intimidating uh you can be intimidating
00:32:50
you think I can I think so if you dress up or something yeah maybe put on some um don't give the Shir off what what you
00:32:57
say keep the shirt on oh you think it's scarier if my shirt's off yeah you know it's it's coming from a guy here we go I
00:33:04
always say you remember pors porgs yeah what's a what's a por from Star Wars oh no no I don't oh you never check this
00:33:11
out there it is yeah that's basically his body that's him yeah it's impressive yeah impressive it's impressive I think that will you know what the [ __ ] a pork is a pork yeah no I was you've never
00:33:25
seen Star Wars no I I didn't I don't really [ __ ] with c too much he likes real life [ __ ] yeah that's true he's not
00:33:31
a nerd documentaries yeah but he looks sci-fi I look sci-fi you mean he looks I mean he looks I dude I went to [ __ ] ComiCon that's what they look like BR I'm just Whispering you can't hear this
00:33:43
right but yeah doesn't he look Andrew be back me up here doesn't he look like he knows sci-fi or not yeah but you do too
00:33:50
yeah and I and I do right I'm not denying it he's denying it right right right maybe he doesn't yeah you don't I
00:33:57
don't ref 25 is also young for Star Wars yeah no I'm just saying like I don't know if that generation likes Star Wars okay that's older we're older old you like well you're he's 25 that kid
00:34:08
right there is 25 yeah but also I didn't watch Star Wars till college but also like we grew up with like prequels were coming out when we were kids yeah they
00:34:15
[ __ ] up the sequence for they did oh they [ __ ] up the sequence I totally agree they they [ __ ] all that [ __ ] up
00:34:21
yeah they it was better if they left it alone or they just started with Phantom Menace is that what you're trying to say
00:34:28
trash it was trash anyway so you don't watch any sci-fi no not not really I mostly just watch YouTube twitch and then like who do you watch on Twitch other streamers just trying to see what
00:34:39
they're doing I have no clue really how to stream right now so it's kind of like you don't I just when I started I just
00:34:44
kind of turned on this thing and I'd play a game but like to build out like a stream you kind of like have to have multiple segments what but so you've
00:34:50
been so successful at it it's funny that you say you don't know really how to do it it's just it's kind of just been working on its own yeah well then why
00:34:56
[ __ ] with it leave it's great that's true right if it's not broken why are you trying to fix it obviously you've
00:35:01
amassed something very popular and appealing I think the more people try to [ __ ] with it the worse it gets yeah yeah
00:35:07
I think leave it alone I think you're doing a great job yeah that's what I I'm trying to do it's it's weird like that old saying if it's not broke finish it
00:35:15
if it's not broke must be American don't don't fix it there it is djt that's right love it love or leave it love it or leave it List It Love It or List It
00:35:27
is it let leave it love it or leave it alone that's good yeah test him on the phrases that's smart what what what what is that
00:35:34
phrase from what is this a Sci-Fi thing what love it or leave it what is love it or leave it is that like a I've never I've never even heard of that before Oh you just the [ __ ] said that I'm I'm wa who the [ __ ] said wait who
00:35:46
the [ __ ] said love or leave it I did yeah where's that from Life okay yeah love something what does that mean
00:35:51
though love it or leave it alone right okay Do You Love Me loopo loop loop loop why do you keep coming Loop loop loop loop loop I mean loop loopo it's loop loop loopop it's two loops loops yeah
00:36:02
yeah yeah yeah look at that two Loops don't make them wrong double Loops yeah I just made one up that's I like I just
00:36:08
made one up have you been have you traveled internationally um I've been to Japan yep um no stop stop stop stop stop
00:36:16
stop stop st St he's just saying regionally he pointed regionally yeah but he went well like I'm supposed to go
00:36:22
I concur no you're supposed to say you're welcome touche what the [ __ ] is this
00:36:27
well he's thanking you okay yeah Canada yeah Canada thank you Canada good good that's
00:36:35
that's a two I've been to yeah yeah so Canada and Japan yeah and then London what' you do in Japan yeah Japan we
00:36:41
Middle Earth Middle Middle Earth hey you look your head could rotate behind you what what was going on in Japan what was going on in Japan um we
00:36:54
were just I was there with FaZe and then we just tried to stream in the morning so pretty much drank in the morning and then passed out by 3 that's what you did
00:37:01
every day yeah pretty on PO how many days um we were there for like a week probably eight days so every day you'd
00:37:07
wake up and get drunk at whenever you woke up and then you'd go to bed by 3 p.m. every day we'd wake up at 8:30 go to 711 probably get some we' get a
00:37:14
couple lemon sour they're like what what is the percentage of a lemon sour over there don't know 11% 9% wow 9% it's like
00:37:22
an IPA four of those yeah feeling good wait just walking did you talk to any of the Japanese people people I got a
00:37:28
couple of these yeah oh that's like get the [ __ ] out of here is that what it is do you not not know about this in Japan
00:37:34
what is it they don't there's a lot of places that they don't want whites coming around they don't want tourists coming around oh thank God they ex you
00:37:40
out they tell you no thank you that's this's a real thing you got to be [ __ ] kid they were doing it
00:37:45
like there was one lady did it like dist you like going oh hey they'll tell you no thank you wait wait you got to be
00:37:50
it's segregation like the [ __ ] 1950s South that's why Japan is so nice they go get the [ __ ] out of here yeah well no they don't say anything they just tell you no because they're what they're trying to communicate is they don't
00:38:03
speak English and nobody there does they're not going to try to communicate with you so when you go there they see
00:38:08
obviously you're a [ __ ] white and they go okay okay okay cuz they're saying no one's going to try to speak
00:38:14
English to you yeah yeah can we can you still go in no you would why would you go past that yeah I would go this back
00:38:20
no yeah yeah you do that to me yeah it's not like I do no you no no you no and I
00:38:28
walk in there and go get me a [ __ ] cabbage stew well they'd let you in oh yeah they would assume that you might be
00:38:33
able to finagle your way through okay see now he's doing it oh no that's that's that's my bread and butter yeah
00:38:39
so they do this that's interest interesting they also do a thing called we call it uh WPT was white people tax
00:38:44
so you'd have tourists you'd go to get a bill from a restaurant and there would be like other other tax tourist taxes
00:38:50
included what does that mean they have an a tourist tax if you're eating and you're not a [ __ ] local they tax you
00:38:56
on top of what you've already wow wow so how much money is that it's another percentage of the bill wow is that
00:39:01
offensive no okay no no no what do you mean how would it be offensive would they add more money because I'm a
00:39:08
tourist okay yes tourist tax trying to get a squeeze lumon out of there that's right and get lemonade that's true
00:39:15
exactly well they don't serve lemonade over there but yeah I do understand okay I know so what are the percent excuse me
00:39:21
lemon sours I'm sorry I just I'm I'm PE brained a little bit you know I'm keepering too don't worry about it hey two peas in a pod what were you doing what did you do in London tell me
00:39:32
about London London um kind of same thing we just kind a bounce around pubs I have a drinking problem no uh
00:39:41
well it's more of like a I'm more of like a drinking athlete I guess ah so you went but did you mingle with the
00:39:47
locals there too either or no um more more in yeah in London the the locals there were pretty sick they just come around and they they're just always drinking I like London pretty mundane
00:39:58
can you give us a British accent did you pick anything up hello Hello's hello mate good they say mate what would what would they say bro brv he's right bro BR hey bro
00:40:14
I'm smoking him oh yeah very good that's that's like pretty much what they say yeah no I felt like I was in like London
00:40:21
when you said that I Jolly London I yeah yeah Liverpool or something that was really good they call they call
00:40:26
cigarettes that yeah they do yeah I know I live on planet Earth I I didn't know there yeah I know what they what well he does one it's great to meet you
00:40:38
sketch it's so good right welcome to London sketch I'm we praying my name is be I'm being sound like a well see I do it and he does a cowboy he does like a
00:40:49
little an Asian Cowboy too Asian Cowboy I'm a friend too right yeah look at that pretty good huh GID UPA gidy UPA that's an Asian Cowboy
00:41:01
that's his ni GID you like Asian chicks do I like Asian chicks yeah what's your what's your favorite uh ethnicity lady
00:41:08
I'm talking to is a little Asian oo half or full like uh I don't know I got investigate that old war right only seen
00:41:15
her in the dark so far I'm not even sure if she's Asian she just was like stop okay stop for a second let me just please let's I just need
00:41:27
yeah yeah roup we've I've only seen her in the dark God is good God is great God is no all the time God is good God is great yeah yeah no no it's all the time and
00:41:38
you and is she is she like loop loop is she like loopop yeah yeah she doesn't talk like loop loop but she uh she she has some characteristics o smaller feet
00:41:50
a little bit of that going on yes we also smoked a little bit so in the dark outside outside all all everything was in low lighting not not Pitch Black yeah
00:42:02
are you saying that she could be a guy I wouldn't be the first time there you go no no well no no I feel there you go when when you mean
00:42:15
there you go what no she was perfect no she's in beautiful young wa she live here in LA or Texas uh Texas oh so you
00:42:21
can't wait to get back to her oh well I just bring her out here sometimes she's here now um she was here oh was here
00:42:27
last week oh she was how old is she um she's my age like 24 wow she's a cutie you guys know her okay wait wait it's no no no stop
00:42:39
stop stop this makes no sense to me can I just yeah do some investigating yeah do it okay thank you so much but the more you talk to them the less we can hear them I'm not going to talk to them anymore but they just sh their head
00:42:51
so they've never met this person before say no so yes so um you've only seen her in the dark okay but she's been out here
00:42:59
but no one's seen her MH right so what's going on here buddy my close friends have seen her well they like they don't
00:43:07
they don't live with me they don't okay okay so like uh like people have seen her yeah she ex she's a real person
00:43:13
she's she's this isn't she goes to she goes to another school oh she goes to a different school right pretty much across town across town okay trying to
00:43:20
beat the allegations here all right so here's the deal you're doing a good job you're do a
00:43:25
very good job so this girl that you're seeing now might be Asian but have you have you dated many other races of girls
00:43:31
or no um I've been around the world oh you have not dating I mean like just you know just hooking up sharing sharing sharing love Yeah sharing I'm a lover not a fighter naked wrestling yeah naked
00:43:44
wrestling yeah I like the whites why is that he does he only dates white girls is that true exclusively I thought you had a aren't you are you are you married no not
00:43:57
he got out a long-term relationship with with a woman who was Asian but now since then he's gone real white I'm just going
00:44:04
on a white tour right now yeah so like mostly just like up in Washington DC area or something well there are whites
00:44:11
all over the country yeah the good news got get the you got get the real ones though we have oh there's real ones up
00:44:17
north well there's different types of I mean like oh explain to me the types because I'm not white and you know you're right so you can give me the categories give me the [ __ ]
00:44:22
categories here Cajun hillbilly oh hillbilly yes tan tan not 10 not 10 kind of Asian fat could be Asian yeah is fat would fat be one fat there are there are
00:44:34
fat white chips exactly I've seen that show 600 pound life yeah yeah yeah love love that show love that show you like that show love yeah yeah yeah although I've been watching um 600 lb live where
00:44:47
are they now and you know what they should call it 600 lb live they're still 600 lb yeah where are they now they're
00:44:54
still fat right they never lose the weight you could how could you yeah yeah yeah 600 lb that's two of you that's so
00:45:01
much to lose dude that's so rude no it's not it is it's a little rude it's okay you're built like the lower half of a snowman but you're [Laughter]
00:45:16
okay what's up brother yes po okay very good dude very good yeah anyway um what's next on the tour for you um like you where you going after La you going to go back to Houston
00:45:28
I go to Houston probably for a Texans game oh you're right now are you going on the field they put you on the field
00:45:33
um I mean like I can probably yes you in plan manager's right there we should get it we should get that thing moved yeah let's get that let's get that [ __ ] on
00:45:40
the road that's right get him on the [ __ ] field no have you met any of the Texans yeah I've met stad I've met tank
00:45:46
Dell John mie Stefan digs oh Stefan digs the man yeah they're all pretty sick I'm
00:45:52
bear F we play you guys in week two oh yeah yeah dude you should go to the game invite me you want to go to the game yes
00:45:58
I do all right I'll be we got extra box we're got on the field we got to be on the field that we tell the manager we got to no you don't come no no no oh we
00:46:03
can make that happen you would never want to go to a football game in a million years ever ever I've been to
00:46:08
them when when I was a kid um I had so those I had a friend named Tyler Phillips he was blind in one eye have tell about Tyler Phillips what who are you Theo vaugh right now I no so I was
00:46:22
friends with a guy named Tyler Phillips right and the reason why I stopped hanging out with him because when I spent the night I spent the night at his
00:46:27
house once right and he slept on his left side of his face but it's the right eye where he's missing the eye and it
00:46:34
just opened no while we were sleeping yeah and and and and I I I was looking at him and he opened his eyes and go are you awake Tyler and he was sleeping and it freaked me out that was it that was
00:46:47
it what does that have to do with the football game yeah where where did that go I let
00:46:54
me finish I'm not even [ __ ] done dude you're being r dude I'm leading you all right so my dad right Tyler Phillip's
00:47:02
dad was rich yeah so he he he went to my dad and goes would you like to see we have you know I mean um box seating at
00:47:09
the um Chargers no Minnesota Vikings cu the one we lived in Minnesota that was in Minnesota yeah yeah oh and I remember
00:47:16
my dad and I went to the [ __ ] Vikings game in these box seats and my dad was just asleep asleep the whole [ __ ] time it was super embarrassing what if who cares yeah but it's like
00:47:29
we're in the Box SE there's like other people people are cheering and my [ __ ] old Korean
00:47:34
dad sleeping was [ __ ] embarrassing he needed rest he worked really hard yeah Fashion Gal took a lot of time so I did
00:47:41
see that game and I saw a couple Chargers games all right so I've been there you have yeah yeah I just I like being invited to things well let's
00:47:47
invite you but you won't go fine I won't go but I would like to get invited right that's that's kind of the whole point love to have you love to love to be
00:47:54
there but it is nice to it is nice to get invited right I want don't like I don't we don't get invited to parties any like he gets to go to these cool
00:48:00
[ __ ] parties we don't get to go to any when's the last party I was invited to well you that you no you've been invited to party
00:48:07
when at Russell Crow's house that was that was because of the thing yeah but you were were you invite was that a
00:48:14
party get together no was it it's a party get together what's the difference between a part what's the difference
00:48:19
between a party and a get together everybody knows there's a big difference between a party and a get together give me the difference cuz I don't I don't know a party is
00:48:27
oh so there's got to be a DJ and it get together it's like okay so I've never been invited to
00:48:33
a party I've only gone to get get I've never been to a party where there's a DJ at somebody's house [ __ ]
00:48:39
that yeah you have that's such a lie absolutely I've been places with you where there's DJs who [ __ ] Whitney
00:48:45
always has someone doing a DJ yeah that's somebody on a [ __ ] i f that's what a [ __ ] DJ is yeah someone with
00:48:52
iPhone going here's my plan list I hate that by the way I hate that by the way what what what's your party music you
00:48:59
play excuse [Laughter] me you know turning Japanese I think I'm Japanese um I like older
00:49:15
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00:51:50
bad friends let me ask you something let's get what's it going to take to get your new phone to get me a new phone
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look at that thing put that thing up show it to the camera yeah what's going on dude you getting fights with it yeah
00:52:02
well just run into low budget right now no chance no I'm just kidding but like I just don't I don't if I break things I
00:52:08
don't really get them fixed what version of the is that is that what version that one um it's a new one it's just
00:52:14
shattered yeah yeah what it's it's probably two years old yeah but it's all in pieces we got to get you something new not not a bad not a bad well you
00:52:20
know I I bet you the reason why you don't get a new phone is because it's it's update like I I'm always scared
00:52:26
that not scared but I have to download all the St oh redo the thing again redo all the stuff yeah apple makes you do
00:52:32
the thing again where you got to transfer it to the phone I actually like that it feels like a new start whenever I go get a new one no actually you I
00:52:37
think you're right I think they made it easier they have made it a little I they made it easier yeah yeah yeah but it's still I don't I I I I I don't like
00:52:44
getting the new phone every time because I know people that do that you know yeah you got to use you get iCloud and then you got to drop it in yeah I'll wait
00:52:50
till I need it but then this is a call you need it you know what I mean yeah it's time do you get a little n you get
00:52:55
nudies on your direct message o little nudie DMS little bad boy nudie DMS lately it's uh a lot of pictures of me a
00:53:03
lot of so people send you pictures of you no we're just people trolling but um yeah like uh yeah I mean like get people
00:53:10
like more trolling stuff you get a lot of trolls right now yeah [ __ ] that post post what I call posty day now did you
00:53:17
do does those hurt your feelings or no um no I mean I know you just click it past it and then I uh kind of just live
00:53:24
my life well let me tell you something that's great what a what a Healthy Outlook [ __ ] all that [ __ ] [ __ ] all that
00:53:30
[ __ ] all those people that say dumb [ __ ] whatever they're saying [ __ ] all those people and [ __ ] all the [ __ ] they say they obviously are jealous or they're
00:53:38
obviously uh fans because they wouldn't take the time to reach out if they weren't so that's so so [ __ ] them if
00:53:44
they hate you um and keep doing that because I think that's the best movie you can get you know what the worst time you know what here's the worst kind of
00:53:50
messages I get I tell you the worst messages lately I mean I know no you don't this is a new one oh
00:53:57
they'll go dude I'm such a huge fan dude and [ __ ] all those haters right right
00:54:02
and I'm like in my mind I'm like what are you talking about you know mean so now in my mind I'm like there's so many
00:54:09
haters just say that you like me you know what I mean he's like I've been reading your comments man don't even read that [ __ ] I go how many are there
00:54:16
now now you're going to look yeah yeah you know what I mean I hate it it's just give me the compliment don't go you know what I mean this other stuff is out
00:54:22
there I mean look at mine's the most UN tantalizing let's see what this is ready let's go let's jump in the the request
00:54:28
folder all right here we go ready uh Cameo just DM me the app look at that DM me too hey Andrew give us a try would you like to give us a try
00:54:41
nope don't your first one as an ad uh yeah dude they keep dude they you know what it's so funny about Cameo they start sending me a hot chick will do it oh yeah like the prettiest girl and
00:54:52
she's like hey I just want to let you know I'm a big fan will you do cameo it's like they trick me what they know
00:54:58
you're ready they know they know you're ready this is so bad there's like literally nothing in it's really funny
00:55:04
there's like nothing in here yeah hey bro when are you going to come to the UK can I have
00:55:10
$50 can I have $50 Andrea jyn's calling me she pick it up uh yeah no no no cuz he won't know he won't know who that is she's very nice though Andrea Jinn she's a comic show pick up a picture she's
00:55:23
she's uh looking lady yeah she's yeah well she's loop loop she's loop loop that's who the character is based on
00:55:28
yeah yeah no she is yeah your sister uhuh well they all are um well we're all brothers and sisters that's right so you say what's up brother and you should do an Asian what's up
00:55:39
sister what's up sister there see that came out natural I about so he goes up you go down what's up sister yeah that's what's up sister will you
00:55:52
like that what's up brother what's up sister it's pretty good you know what dude um
00:55:58
can we hang out or yeah I'm I'm down like what like if I go to Texas like we got to hang out with this guy don't you
00:56:04
don't you just like to sleep a lot no no wait I'm so sorry where would you learn information like that I Tik talk and stuff like that he knows he knows who the [ __ ] you are oh yeah so
00:56:17
yeah he you're I sleep a lot I S you're acting like that's a out of pocket thing to say but your nickname is a slept King
00:56:23
what the [ __ ] I know but I'll tell you I'll tell you wisely a lot I know why it's that 285 getting you it hurts so bad I know what it you
00:56:35
know what it is no you don't even know I just discovered I just discovered it well you you sometimes you're a little depressy wesy that's not why well
00:56:42
sometimes you've eaten too many meals that's that's good that's one yeah yeah sometimes oh God I got to tell you
00:56:48
you're staying up too late playing video games do you stay up till 4: or 5 in the morning playing video games uh no just mostly you kind of just can't sleep and
00:56:54
then I I don't really sleep too much but like I like i' stay up just chilling how many hours a night are you getting of
00:57:01
sleep probably four or something let's get you know what you should do next time you're 3 in the morning you can't
00:57:06
sleep call me let's chat okay you know what I mean let's chat with each other check in just roll over yeah that' be
00:57:14
that's right you're right there oh yeah you know what I would like to do with that's very good let's FaceTime each other we'll be in the band we'll be in
00:57:20
the you'll be in your bed in Houston I'll be in my bed in La we FaceTime mhm and side to side and we let's do like let's whisper good night to each other okay would that be nice yeah I'll go a
00:57:32
little a little love in there m oh wow you look like you got soft lips he does I just got so uncomfortable I don't know look like you're a
00:57:47
good yeah pretty good but you know that's how dare you too you know hey it's like a yeah yeah you know what your lips look nice thank you he's blushing
00:57:57
you're blush I'm actually blushing yeah it's wild yeah it's wild it looks like you drank alcohol no he he's pitching a entt stand up check him
00:58:05
uhuh what if I was hard right now oh my God that would be so B we wouldn't be able to tell don't worry dude that's another dude you're so
00:58:12
on it today thank you sir [ __ ] the Sumo joke was great yeah yeah I'm 280 that was good yeah small dick now great
00:58:20
yeah I love it all over the [ __ ] place you know what I mean tell me why you can't sleep What's um
00:58:27
um I have sleep apnea what's so F what yeah you do yeah you do what what you definitely
00:58:43
have sleep no but here's what the deal dude you know what sleep apnea is uh yeah like where you can't sleep no you yeah Sketch that is right that is right I mean no when you're asleep and then
00:58:54
you can't breathe you stop breathing you stop breathing and then you just kind of wake up and sometimes you go yeah and I
00:59:00
gasp for air it's the first time you ever laugh I like yeah it gives you Joy when I struggled for breath hey yeah sometimes no I'm
00:59:14
just kidding no so I so what I what what's great about my situation is so I'll just set my [ __ ] clock at 300 p.m. why don't you just get a sleep
00:59:24
apnea machine I won't I refuse get one we'll buy him one no I refuse yeah what what is what is that a sleep bat Mach
00:59:30
machine that's that goes on your you want one of you want one of those yeah I'll take two of them what that's a that's a wiener machine one for me and
00:59:35
one for my friend do you want a wiener machine sure we have like hundred of them how much was it I don't know they gave hundreds of dollars but you can
00:59:41
have it for free okay let's go okay have you used a wiener machine um um they used to call me the wiener machine yeah
00:59:47
is true high school so I'm just Kidd no so I'll tell you why we can sleep so what I do now is
00:59:54
I dude come on dude that's insane is that your is that what yeah I'm not wearing got one of those
01:00:00
that's what you need CU Joe Koy wears that I'm not wearing that though he doesn't yeah he does oh wow he showed me I I'm not wearing that okay so here's a
01:00:07
so I I I wake up later so that when I wake up from asleep apne a breath thing I go back to bed and I go since I don't have any time to wake up I can just relax and go I'll just sleep whenever ah
01:00:20
right and then here's another second thing I've been doing is I've been controlling the ants oh you got control
01:00:26
of the ants finally I don't know if you guys know this but because of the heat there's a
01:00:34
war oh and I'm telling you right now I'm winning it and I'll tell you what I'm doing I got three things I got three Devils what do you got no the Dirt Devil
01:00:45
oh the dirt I get it all right you have three vacuums I bought three of them you could
01:00:51
have just bought one and used it a lot no no I need three you position them yes so they're in they're in post he sets them up like a podcast that's exactly one straight on two from I got three of them right I got probably 3,000 of the
01:01:06
hotels and hotels yeah yeah right the traps right right they have the sweet juice in it I know it you know what
01:01:12
right gets me sometimes and it's just hundreds of bottles of raid and so you're raiding your whole house yeah and
01:01:17
I'm having a war and I am winning this World War I bet you are and sometimes you know what I've been doing lately
01:01:23
What crushing it with my finger you're a bad boy yeah I crush each one of them and and I make a comment what do you say
01:01:29
you want to [ __ ] around with my [ __ ] thick thumb or whatever I don't know what I go I go what that sounds [ __ ] you
01:01:35
you know I'll just say things you know what I mean yeah come into my house [ __ ] you know what I mean look at that and I I kind cuz they're strong
01:01:42
no yeah they can hold 16 times their weight or whatever I Googled it it's still it's still one one 1,000 I know
01:01:47
but if you smash it just up briefly they their little legs still go like that no I can [ __ ] I got to get them pancake
01:01:53
pancake I pancake them out I get it right so have you thought about stop hiring someone to I will not no yeah so
01:02:00
look at that that's a [ __ ] that's a building I know that's a Le but that's like a human being lifting a building
01:02:06
it's like it's yeah it's yeah yeah or like whatever weights 20 times their weight they can lift exactly so you know
01:02:11
so my point being is you know you're 200,000 times its weight no I'm just I'm just saying like
01:02:17
you know what I mean can I just finish my thing or no please all right so at nights when I feel like the war is won
01:02:25
are you talking about the dick machines right now or no no I'm talking about the ants no [ __ ] yeah yeah once I've re and
01:02:32
there's no ants inside yeah I go I can go to bed so that's when the peace comes into play that's when the piece comes into play I hate them so much don't you
01:02:39
hate ants I don't really get them and if I did I would hired someone to come in and clean them up okay good that's your thing you buy three dirt devils you stay
01:02:45
up all night yeah yeah oh but the dirt was great because it it makes you feel like an X-Men you know what I mean like I'm
01:02:51
storm or whatever you know what I mean they go what the [ __ ] you know what I mean and they get sucked in you know what I mean and I love seeing them in
01:02:57
the little [ __ ] what do you call it the little chamber little window there they don't know what the [ __ ] that hit them oh this is little you suck into
01:03:04
tortur yeah yeah they [ __ ] it [ __ ] them up dude the lead Dynasty that's right yeah don't [ __ ]
01:03:10
with the lead Dynasty don't [ __ ] with the Lee Dynasty yeah Sketch have you had fun on the show today I've had a lot of fun well I I thank you for coming on the
01:03:17
show do you want to do you want to leave us with any words of wisdom from sketch and you want to impart anything on the
01:03:22
crew before we let you go um thanks for having me um I don't know probably stay away from lopu yeah from get the name right Chachi hey hey hey hey loop loop
01:03:33
you [ __ ] loop loop yeah yeah loop loop stml yeah yeah memory L I don't know I don't know if you're sexually attracted to me or we're friends no you just turned me on from a
01:03:47
distance wow closer you that's a good compliment from a distance he looks good from afar yeah yeah you get close it's
01:03:53
different it's more of the sense I'm not really too yeah God just [ __ ] with you I love you you're good dude you know you're like a
01:04:00
white version of me yeah kind of it's pretty sick yeah yeah I mean if I this is who I was at 25 if
01:04:06
you give me a mustache and you'll be able to grow one one day one day yeah yeah I'm working on it you shave um I
01:04:13
shaved like a month ago or something holy [ __ ] that's like you yeah yeah that thing took him 52 years to get on his
01:04:18
face get him in a movie I'd love to I'd love to get him in a movie if him and I ever do a movie you're in our movie okay
01:04:24
you'll do it what type type of movie are we talk talking about Action Baby action
01:04:29
comedy hey look at that yeah yeah we'll negotiate with the manager he's right there we we'll get him we'll get him a good rooll I already no I think the role
01:04:35
is already you're in a cage no this no no no and we go you want us to unleash the [ __ ] Fury yeah
01:04:42
right unleash the virus yeah why does it have to always go back to co sorry yeah
01:04:48
yeah yeah that that's over some some people don't think so and now it's back wow sketch
01:04:58
Co well give him a round of applause that was [ __ ] great than you so much appreciate you just look into that camera and just
01:05:04
say thank you for being a bad friend just fire R yeah whatever thank you for being a bad friend love that love
01:05:11
[Music] that you know what I can't stand on [ __ ] when I'm scrolling videos of the last day with their pet oh I hate this
01:05:23
[ __ ] I had to [ __ ] swipe so fast I hate it I I don't want to see that it's always a white woman well with a dog in
01:05:30
her hand yeah and I know what video it is cuz they and they start crying right and then and you look at the dog and the
01:05:36
dog just barely you know what I mean the dog whatever they're doing yeah I saw one of those split screens on Tik Tok it was one girl with her final day with the dog and the other one an Asian guy eating
01:05:50
it there it is that's that no yeah yeah I can't stand those I can't stand those videos I saw you know what the worst one
01:05:56
was I saw a guy and it looked like a beautiful video of just him with his dog yeah but then at the very end he goes
01:06:03
I'll miss you it's our final days and I was like oh my God oh my God I can't do it another one is um pet negligence what
01:06:13
what is this oh like people leaving in the car and stuff no it's even worse oh no I don't I don't want to hear it's going to if it's no no I'm just going to
01:06:19
tell you all right I'm just telling you what I don't like yeah all right it's like whenever it's like fluffy fluffy
01:06:25
fluffy and then an alligator eats it oh yeah I'm like what is Fluffy doing around an alligator why are you at the
01:06:31
lake yeah yeah [ __ ] put a [ __ ] leash yeah get a leash if you know there's alligators you put a leash we
01:06:36
had a scare dude I told you when I was back home my dog we had to take her to the emergency uh emergency vet yeah she
01:06:42
was puking and [ __ ] blood which oh no Cubs yeah I got so scared no we had to take my dog to the vet cuz she she was throwing up blood in the middle of the night and then she was um [ __ ]
01:06:53
blood I got real scared oh wow when was this in Chicago just just last week and then what happened we took her to the vet they ran all the tests they ran the x-ray they did blood work all that stuff they think that she might have eaten
01:07:04
something strange and it got into the lining of her stomach oh no but we couldn't find out what it was so then we
01:07:10
changed her diet and did that whole thing with the rice and the p and the thing and then three days later she was
01:07:15
okay so oh thank god dude thank the Lord in the middle of the night I'm I'm cleaning up blood out of out of my mom's
01:07:21
carpet and I'm like balling I'm just balling cleaning up blood I'm like are you really crying oh yeah hard I was so
01:07:27
scared I thought she was going to die wow she threw up blood all over the place incredible I was like oh God
01:07:33
please don't don't don't be something very serious I was panicking also not cheap to take your dog to the vet yeah yeah oh my oh my God yeah do you have
01:07:44
pet insurance oh no what you can get that yeah you're not got money just put cash down moneyy look at a big money guy over here no not big money I'm just saying like what is well
01:07:55
come on guess how much it was spleen was guess how much it was for two grand huh spleen is two grand no a spleen is two
01:08:02
grand I don't know how much buying it on the black market yeah X-rays and blood work was how much 500 wow how much 1,200
01:08:12
how much two grand how much four grand get out no no it's okay what is it 1,600 wow I was like oh my God yeah that's
01:08:24
expensive for an x-ray and a blood and a thing that's what I spend on Postmates every
01:08:30
day trust me I know here's another thing that scares me my brother Steve yeah was like he'll send me photos of like two
01:08:39
frogs no I'm not kidding you I'm not [ __ ] kidding you dissecting them no no he has two frogs and you can then
01:08:46
he'll zoom out and there's like an aquarium that he had built oh no I don't want he's like you see you know Charlie and Frankie you know I just got them
01:08:52
like and my mind like they're going to die yeah my brother's not going to be able to keep two frogs alive no yeah
01:08:59
it's like why does he do that he has a new dog now well what's the lifespan of a frog yeah what is a life frog of an
01:09:05
average frog he's got a dog yeah one day to 30 years well that's that's all life
01:09:13
that's huge difference yeah yeah yeah that's all life that's us yeah yeah yeah here's another thing that I discovered
01:09:19
in Chinatown they [ __ ] paint and they sell Turtles right oh I love that they're painting their shell it's like you paint your nails yeah but the but the paint's so toxic they die yeah but
01:09:31
look at this beautiful [ __ ] is this a thing that's going on that's what I saw Turtle painting what is that painted turtle yeah it's kind of like when you see someone dye all their
01:09:42
dog beautiful why do they dye their dog's hair you know people do that you see that yeah what's that about I don't like that at all I don't like that at
01:09:47
all there's no way the dog likes that they don't like it I don't want to be it doesn't want to be dyed or like poodles where they shave the sides and but they
01:09:54
keep the back back Puff like no one gives a [ __ ] cut it out yeah yeah unless they want to get an award you can get
01:09:59
awards for those the dog shows yeah I don't like the dog oh my God this it's a painted painted donkey it's a painted
01:10:05
donkey as a zebra zebra oh my God Mexico is awesome yeah and his [ __ ] butthole is all blasted out
01:10:11
probably for no reason now there's a reason why did you assume it was Mexico it said
01:10:18
Mexico it said Mexico on it you're the only [ __ ] that do that zoom in that box says Mexico yeah says Mexico and says tequila on the hat behind
01:10:29
it yeah yeah how much more obvious could it be yeah if we can make the announcement now if you'd like to we are
01:10:35
all we are as of 2025 going to fire all three of you yeah finding new blood so people at home if you would like to be a new blood and replace uh one of these three guys please uh Carlos at the booth
01:10:48
Carlos at the booth Carlos atth Booth gmail.com yeah please send an email over why you think you should replace one of
01:10:53
these morons uh at Carlos in the booth at the booth in the booth Carlos in the booth thank you fancy that's another
01:10:59
reason you're getting fired Carlos inth Booth gmail.com I have a side note question if I may you always May thank you so um I've been
01:11:10
hiking I've been hiking far can I ask go ahead you hiked once no you hiked many many times okay and I've been eating the same but I'm not losing any weight what's going on let's talk about what
01:11:23
you're eating no I'm eating the same eating the same what bread all bread the whole time while you're hiking well I've been like you eat you'll eat a loaf of bread while you hike no no no what I'm saying is I'm eating as much as I've
01:11:36
have been eating and that's the problem right but then I'm like well then I'll just incorporate long hikes every day
01:11:42
you have to change the diet and exercise it's both it's not just one so what you're saying to me is if I eat the same
01:11:48
and no matter how much I exercise I'm still going to be fat let me give you something that's going to blow your mind
01:11:53
most of the time it's all diet it's all diet almost always then don't exercise it's not going to kill you to not but it's going to kill you but it's not going to do anything but if you keep eating at the same rate it will kill you
01:12:05
okay my wife's boss died at 93 years old he never exercised a day in his life it's all the but but he ate right at he
01:12:13
ate great he just ate like healthy and that's it so I tried to do the all meat thing very difficult it's gross yeah all
01:12:22
just me just beef all day yeah it's gross it's pretty your shits stink they do stink yeah and it gurgles my stomach yeah you get gurgly burgly you can't have that I'm trying different things
01:12:33
but it's like you know I love the bread Let's do let's do the diet of the blue zones like legumes a lot of beans are you eating beans no you got to eat beans
01:12:40
why everybody in the blue zones eats them okay the Blue Zone Diet see a lot of these guys it's well give me the Blue
01:12:46
Zone it's a lot of plant-based fruits vegetables beans tofu lentils nuts seeds rich with disease fighting nutrients are
01:12:51
the Cornerstone of their diets when they eat meat fish eggs dairy they treat it as a condiment rather than the feature well then danne's wrong who's wrong Dane
01:12:59
who is that C cook oh the cook is wrong he was like you just eat I six months I've only been eating meat maybe it
01:13:05
works for him so I'm like oh should I do it yeah yeah trust me well that's the problem he's a cook not a chef you got
01:13:10
to listen to a oh no he Dane Chef Dane Chef yeah have you met him I've never met Dane Chef oh I know Dane Chef well I'll introduce you that's the that's the issue though we should be eating more of that oh okay and treat meat like a side
01:13:24
item not the main cor not the main star so have a little bit of meat but have a lot more of the other stuff okay what
01:13:31
what's that a granola they have a bunch of this stuff no I go to I have Air1 canola at home what do you want me to do
01:13:37
with it throw it away oh I throw it away throw it away why stuff's fill with sugar and [ __ ] throw that [ __ ] away
01:13:42
but can he get like seeds and nuts and stuff from Air1 so he it's cool you want to really set it up yeah go through a
01:13:48
Blue Zone Diet like an actual grocery list and buy it for them and see if it works for a week this is all I need
01:13:55
and this is what me I need you forever yeah but aside from you okay what I need is somebody to go this is all you're eating today yes let's get you up let's
01:14:06
and I'm always like I'll go okay I'll just eat this right I don't know where to go for that that's what he needs not
01:14:13
a private Chef no no no not a chef but just someone that know that's a nutritionist I think you'd help I think we help change the diet yeah it'll get
01:14:20
us over the edge don't you guys think so I think so I think we get a little diet change and that's going to be it yeah
01:14:27
tell me tell me what you ate today let's go through it oh so I went the kin kinic
01:14:32
chicken kinik chicken or um I'll show you it's so good it's called have him bring it up what is it called kit wait City Chicken no that's I just did
01:14:43
they say City I didn't say City dog yeah Kim here it's called kismi Kismet Kismet
01:14:50
like a a romantic Meetup yeah Kismet chicken yeah so good dude okay look at the look at those look at that yeah rotisserie chicken good for you yeah so you had what did you have though so I
01:15:01
had um that that meal did you eat the bread yeah I ordered two breads yeah right you don't so let's stop that part just eat the chicken and the veg and your I know the bread is so good though I'm sure it is the hummus I'm sure yeah
01:15:13
so I ate that and that was really good okay that's all you had yeah look at that you should eat there you know where
01:15:19
that no it looks good but what I would suggest is smaller meals just a bunch of smaller meals that's do they say I don't
01:15:25
know how about how about we try him um fruit till noon you know this guy fruit till noon there's a guy that only eats
01:15:31
fruit till noon you fruit till noon and then you eat a meal there he is and he looks great okay fruit till noon is that
01:15:39
aai I don't know if that's the guy that's not the guy I don't like that guy po doesn't wake up till 300
01:15:44
p.m. yeah so he's eating fruit till noon oh here's another thing that I think is the reason why I've been
01:15:50
gaining weight is asai balls sugar yeah lot of sugar and there's this one which is my favorite one but I think it's too much it's too sweet and I've been eating maybe one or two of them a day don't eat
01:16:03
with the peanut butter and with all the fruits in it too and the Granola it's so sweet you don't need it it's so good but
01:16:09
I don't I think that's the problem yeah what about and I I think I and I don't know if I should cut this out but I have
01:16:15
an issue what black toe you got black toe yeah let me see you can't see because I
01:16:23
covered it with [ __ ] toenail pop polish how did you get black toe repeated trauma yeah I hit it and
01:16:30
then it won't heal it's been 6 months it's black gout no it's not gout it's not gout what medieval what what are you
01:16:37
talking about my college roommate had gout really yeah yeah you can get it any it's not nail F let's move
01:16:44
[Music] on wo [Music] woo yeah