00:00:00
I just think that and this is just my humble opinion yeah that you just maybe
00:00:05
need a little bit more spirituality in your life first of all I grew up a Catholic so you don't [ __ ] I know the
00:00:10
spiritual yeah well that [ __ ] you up it makes you not want to be spiritual more namaste spirituality now mistakes hard
00:00:15
to get to when you're when you're what you in your Catholicism as your youth but what I'm saying is is that can you
00:00:21
at least be open to it or no disability no because as a young Catholic you learn to not be open if you're open that's
00:00:26
when you get caught you're gonna change man change asking you inch and Barry
00:00:31
that's Mary because clinched Barry because people like me bury your emotions because people like me are
00:00:38
gonna get affected right by me you're gonna snap right and then I'm gonna be the one that shot friends Jules are you
00:00:56
ready to start yeah she doesn't want to
00:01:04
be here isn't it crazy that you brought a 14 year old girl to the studio yeah well um like what I don't know if it's
00:01:11
crazy it's not my [ __ ] daughter what do you mean it's not your daughter you think that [ __ ] you think that
00:01:17
person right there is my [ __ ] daughter that's not your kid no it's [ __ ] Julia Julianna that's wait
00:01:24
you're male dude that's Rudy Guiliani you look good Rudy Guiliani yeah Rudy
00:01:31
Rudy so uh my sister's older sister honey honey I mean she's a Filipino lady
00:01:42
and she lives in the Philippines and she had her oldest daughter is Giuliana you're the oldest daughter of all the
00:01:49
girls how old are you 18 14 no real are you really 18 yeah she's
00:01:55
18 god they look so that that's why people go over there cuz you can't tell how old they are right that's why white
00:02:02
weirdos go over there they go over there I can't a holiday yeah here's my wife and she thinks she's eight so you're 18
00:02:11
yeah are you in school forty days what do you now as a senior year of high school what is it what
00:02:18
junior year is there a mic over there or no no because well George had it but we
00:02:23
don't I can't you want her to have the [ __ ] mic that George had no we set it on fire I burned it outside oh you did
00:02:28
yeah we had a [ __ ] ritual when I'm asked what I want to say though is that I feel like you're breaking down I'm
00:02:35
having a breakdown I'm out an emotional a mental breakdown is even talking like even today you act like a little beeyotch on the phone no I didn't act
00:02:42
like a [ __ ] I wanted to set this up I know but what I'm saying is that you you know what you opened with huh usually when you call somebody open with hey
00:02:48
how's it going whatever you want how can you how could you ever been calling me back yeah well my texts like
00:02:54
you're my little [ __ ] side [ __ ] no first of all what I am is don't get
00:02:59
angry in your organisation up but save in a adult type way okay all right we
00:03:05
have an adult relationship we're friends okay here we go all right so say it in a very mature way first of all I'm not
00:03:10
your [ __ ] okay I'm not your [ __ ] uh-huh okay I am trying to organize this podcast because you didn't want to do it
00:03:16
via satellite we tried twice to try to do that right it didn't work so we're in the studio together four people at home
00:03:23
were six feet apart six foot plus feet apart okay we've all been quarantined so
00:03:28
we're doing this as safe as we can no one's coughing no one has fever and I
00:03:33
was trying to set this up this was hard the new Dina why don't you just rub your little coochie you know what I want to
00:03:41
hear when you cry - hello Andrew I wanna hear your little [ __ ] cool coochie you little [ __ ] so stop acting like
00:03:48
that you're acting you know what you're acting like a friend of ours all right that's what you're acting like and I
00:03:54
want to see this take it back but no take it the [ __ ] - I'm serious take it back or I'll get mad
00:03:59
well I'll kick this [ __ ] thing over and walk it I want to say this you're not like him or this person that we know
00:04:05
but today you acted just like him okay well okay take it back I'm not gonna
00:04:11
take it back all right I'll throw this on you if you threw [ __ ] you don't do that why you what I brought
00:04:17
my [ __ ] air gun do you have the gun for real I don't hey put the stuff back
00:04:22
when I came in hot because we needed to do this look for people at home let's inform the audience reach tried to do this via satellite it was
00:04:29
[ __ ] a [ __ ] record you know what let's what we'll give you a piece of it right now
00:04:34
I tell me you have lots of those pears pears or is that just the same one I just have the same one that's just the
00:04:41
same that's not like you you don't have like ten of those colors you just have that one pair of that one that I always see I have one pair of underwear
00:04:49
okay no don't look no yeah this is hard to do I [ __ ]
00:04:59
hate this I hate it too it's just it's just not efficient I can't feel you I can't feel a vibe from
00:05:06
you yeah I feel your negative energy not
00:05:11
being in the room so we just cut to a clip of how how awful our interaction
00:05:16
was on that it was [ __ ] terrible is the worst here's why I was the worst me and you are great when we're together I I don't if I'm separate we couldn't it
00:05:24
wasn't working it just there was no rhythm I couldn't really feel you you look like you were far away
00:05:29
kalila kept popping in in the background yeah and trying to figure out I was going oh my [ __ ] people know yeah
00:05:35
right if there's a phone or like well if I have to go on the road and back in the day and they go well can you do it
00:05:42
because you're not gonna be in town but they want you to do this radio show I can't do it because I need to go in the
00:05:48
room and I need to make fun of people yeah the only way that I'm that you're gonna get any good rhythm comedic ly in
00:05:54
those regards especially something like this is if I can feel you I can't do you know and I stopped doing TV I can't do
00:06:00
TV anymore either I won't do morning shows I can't I I you probably really weird on them I'm I'm so uncomfortable
00:06:07
you [ __ ] with the hosts I've seen what you do our job I can't do that why
00:06:13
because I don't want to be that I'm so annoyed that I have to be there I get look it's so funny because I go
00:06:18
back to a city right and when I show up I go where's what's-his-name and then they were everywhere every time I go
00:06:25
back they always go yeah that person didn't want to do it again yeah they quit because of you nobody that you were you you weird them out
00:06:31
yeah yes yeah yeah you will that's my [ __ ] goal I like weird them out enough so that they one day go we don't
00:06:38
want him well a bunch of comics it like Sakura had a run of stuff that he did so everyone did that but then when I would
00:06:43
go I would just feel so it's so disingenuous to begin with I just felt like here you be the morning host and
00:06:50
I'll be me okay hey welcome back to Philadelphia in the morning thank God Oh a very funny comedian from the Joe Rogan
00:06:56
podcast and from his his mixology what a view great after he is on that
00:07:03
Andrew Santino how are you Andrew I'm great you know that shows not on the air anymore I do have another show that's on
00:07:08
right now and I have my own podcast so thanks for having me on [Laughter]
00:07:16
very good very good tell me about yourself uh I'm from
00:07:21
Chicago Illinois and I'm on the road right now great okay are you are you like Jerry
00:07:28
sighs do you know Jerry Seinfeld that's I I lose my I can't do it III it that's
00:07:35
you know some people say they have social anxiety when they get out around crowds they get uncomfortable polar-opposite when I'm in a room with
00:07:41
someone like doing that thing yeah I crumble on the inside right I can't handle the anxiety goes through the roof
00:07:47
when somebody's like so uh do you do any relationship material I don't know how
00:07:52
to get away from it I don't know how to because I can't be mean cuz then I look like an [ __ ] because you know even
00:07:57
when I'm not being mean I sound mean yeah right like ask me ask me what kind of jokes I do here so um I love the
00:08:04
comedy i watch it on Netflix I love the comedy wonderful what kind of jokes do you do do you talk about relationships
00:08:12
it's not most of it is just me I'm almost no but I love it when you love it
00:08:22
when you comedians do your impressions Oh why'd you a very good Christopher
00:08:27
Walken or or or uh God you do a Donald Trump impression I actually do an
00:08:33
impression of you I've done I've actually like an [ __ ] every time I
00:08:42
talk this is what I want say ask me okay welcome to New Jersey's finest wkq am
00:08:48
here in the morning today with me is mr. Bob Lee Bobby Lee is a comedian a dirt we love this guy we love this guy now it
00:08:55
might hit a mad TV's finest you've seen this guy Matt TV's finest Bob you're
00:09:00
doing how many shows you how many shows you doing here no you and me Toki the
00:09:10
dum-dum I would love to me who's Toki and I want to pull my dick out and do a little [ __ ] and then they have to go
00:09:15
oh my gosh that's what I want to do when you pull out your penis you want to follow your penises talk you fought I would love to
00:09:21
pull out my penis on him borning Abbi I would probably get cancelled No
00:09:26
yeah but if I pulled out my dick in a morning news show yeah he would stay on
00:09:31
the internet for life but they would blur it they wouldn't first of all they wouldn't put it out oh it's live it's live yeah but there's a delay there's
00:09:39
like a five-second delay oh there is yeah but how about this I think it'd be okay it'd be appropriate to do if it was all men in the room don't you think if
00:09:46
it's all guys don't you think it's okay no no why it's just a bunch of buds no have you ever pulled your penis out in front of a bunch of friends oh yeah yeah
00:09:53
so it's just a bunch of buds yeah that's true can I ask you a real question side note yeah did you ever masturbate with other
00:09:59
guys when you were a young boy did you
00:10:06
ever do that did you ever jerk off with other boys so you did white people do this thing white boys do
00:10:12
sleepovers and they'll boys will jerk off together something I had to learn I didn't know i-i've done I can't talk
00:10:18
about it no Bob I've done weirder things than that yeah I know you have yeah at
00:10:25
sleepovers without do you ever have a sleepover little boys oh yeah what did you do come on Bob Bob its pointee
00:10:32
people need to hear this stuff yeah well you know I did more than masturbate I'll
00:10:39
just say that you have sex with other boys no no not in the course did you
00:10:45
kiss other boys peepees honestly did you have another boy kiss your peepee on us
00:10:51
a bar let's just put it this way I had a dude I can't say his name yeah but no
00:10:57
there's no way he's got a family probably now say it's first initial and then say is that never never and don't
00:11:02
[ __ ] do this his first name in his last initial no I'm not gonna do that but like eff Tony Tony
00:11:07
let's just call it Tony Tony okay Tony Tony Tony Tony Tony Tony uh we did it be a we'd be at a party mm-hmm anyway just
00:11:14
go come here how old Oh fourteen okay happy drunk okay yeah I mean come here
00:11:19
and you just go behind a tree and make him you make me blow him he would just grab your head and make you glow yeah
00:11:26
yeah just a body thing yeah yeah just a bio just that would do it what do you say when it's over nothing that's the great thing about it
00:11:32
you walk away you pretend it didn't happen does he does he come no so he just say
00:11:37
hey check out my penis yeah and then he's like get out here what is he so no there's no get out of here it's just
00:11:43
here because I'm not a [ __ ] right right right I have dignity or not a [ __ ] he described you're Hannity and I have
00:11:49
ethics right right so he's got a treat me like a [ __ ] garbage yeah I'm not some garbage do it and then
00:11:57
you just kind of stand up you don't you you don't really lock eyes you kinda I look at the tree oh you don't look at
00:12:02
him into the sky with a smile like he'll just like do this yeah I look at the tree with like like well why did I just
00:12:09
do that and then we just go in and they'll just don't go to the party and start dancing well pretend like it
00:12:14
didn't have it my mouth is still wet but how many other years how many other men
00:12:21
made you kiss their penis three or four Wow Tony Tony Tony was
00:12:27
Tony Tony but he was the worst perpetrator huh he's not a perpetrator it's not like he forced me to do he just goes you just need a suggestion and I
00:12:35
and I did it that's not okay he said he made a suggestion he said he didn't ask
00:12:40
he said he didn't say will you sucked my [ __ ] he just said come here and he made you do it come here and just grab the back of my head and come here that's not
00:12:47
a ciggy that's a force that's what he said yeah but I could just pull I have neck muscles I could pull it back and go no and I could speak English papi
00:12:54
what you were forced that was real I'm not going there I with you I just went there we're there we're inside we're
00:13:00
right now we're inside the room I closed all the doors ever had a gay experience I think I I was thinking about that the
00:13:06
gayest experience I've had was like well as you were talking I was like dude I have had anything gay like that kind of
00:13:11
stuff nothing like that no but like at sleepovers yeah boys will watch a porno
00:13:18
and jerk off together you've done oh yeah but you don't you know you're not
00:13:23
looking at each other you like your dick is under a blanket everyone's pretending like they're not jerking off but they're
00:13:28
all jerking off yeah yeah yeah white white boys do like white blue yeah white boys do that but they don't you don't
00:13:34
see other guys penises yeah and you don't know that it's everyone's pretending they're not jerking off I forget to I asked you you
00:13:40
were never molested right I was never molested no you've asked me that before I've never lissa but but one time I got an offer
00:13:48
from a distant family member how much money it was a good muddy 60 65 bucks
00:13:54
yeah no I was never I was never molested yeah I know a kid I kid
00:14:00
obviously I know a kid and he revealed something to me he goes growing up
00:14:06
somebody I know I'm not even gonna go there come on Bob bro we're not this is not we're not
00:14:12
gonna sit why we're not recording any of this stuff we're not gonna out people here it's just a private thing that
00:14:18
somebody had once told me about it is somebody that you know yeah that he grew
00:14:23
up and his he knew this multi-multi-millionaire in this town they lived it yeah and he would like
00:14:31
text not tax but call him and go I'll give you 200 bucks if you just truck me off what right and he would do it cuz he
00:14:37
was a poor he had a poor family oh man I know but that's like if he's a
00:14:43
millionaire ask for more money to order bugs is not a grand start with grand
00:14:49
start with one gram yeah if I was poor in a town and and cuz you know I was
00:14:55
molested for free yeah nothing well you're good stories but no yeah you got
00:15:04
nothing but if I were to get paid for it I think it wouldn't have been at that as
00:15:09
traumatic what do you mean you think it wouldn't have affected you probably how do you feel about I feel better but look
00:15:14
at my new car or whatever yeah yeah yeah 200 bucks and how many times did he do this I think he said about five or six
00:15:21
times and I and I when he told me so I'm a good judge you should ask from you know I got really good you want to
00:15:26
charge someone off like that for money Jeff and look him in the how do you just look away while you do it oh that's what I would do you were you oh you would I would look right um in
00:15:32
the eyes oh you'd stare min the eyes it would it would cause the I'm a kid I'm a kid he's an adult
00:15:38
yeah and if you're jerking him off and looking him in the eyes yeah you know the guilt will set in Oh
00:15:44
big time right if you're just like how old was he by the way when this happened he must have been twelve fifty like her
00:15:51
age twelve thirteen well yeah twelve to fourteen yeah you know what's the lookin thing if I was 12 yeah just to [ __ ] with them I'd make
00:15:57
voices the whole tango just to [ __ ] with them just because I know he's a piece of [ __ ] yeah so if I needed the money that
00:16:04
bad when I jerk him off and I would sing that song I go baby the whole time yeah
00:16:11
just to get it so every time he heard that it would be because he's a dude I said that today yeah do you know this is
00:16:16
a real statistic this is this gonna blow your mind and make you sad yeah I'm not gonna say who I got the information from
00:16:22
because I don't want to out them but you can look this up if you have access to
00:16:27
it since the quarantine since all this is going on there was a projection that
00:16:34
child trafficking was going to start to decline decline Yeah right it almost
00:16:42
doubled 1.8 times dude how are these perverts finding their I swear to god it
00:16:49
almost doubled the statistics you can find online I haven't seen a kid in three weeks I know what are they I don't
00:16:55
know I mean look at you look online I've been touring around the neighborhood with an ice-cream truck yeah with my van
00:17:01
yeah and I said as I said yesterday I
00:17:07
said I where do perverts find how do they find the time during this thing to
00:17:12
get even worse but then it made me think they're shipping kids from yeah yeah
00:17:18
stuff like that where there's no way they need out you know I mean yeah was she was she yeah no I don't know I don't
00:17:24
know if she was one of those but she what you hey when I send you back yeah when you don't when I send you back
00:17:30
tella you should teach some sort of course right with Filipino children not
00:17:35
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00:17:43
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00:19:19
use Aveo well we use these in our household we use Aveo they're phenomenal there's a many places you can get
00:19:25
contacts online and you know at first I thought is this gonna be another company but it's it's not crazy expensive like
00:19:30
so many other ones are telling me that he buys a veo for his wife yeah I do I his beautiful wife yeah sure they're
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00:19:54
it's made in these rooms by the way I know about this this is crazy they're made in these fully automated facilities where there aren't human hands getting
00:20:00
in the way yeah it's fully encapsulated in clothes so for a time right now like the Demick yeah this is the time to
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you're not gonna get this deal anywhere else could just go to a video vision comm / bad friends do it you know did
00:20:37
you grow up around a lot of lady boys yeah yeah yeah what why that's such a
00:20:43
it's I'm so fascinated by lady boys I think it's why it's such a what a fun culture you know I know you know what a
00:20:49
fun and it's so accepted and promoted when I was in Thailand and I was shooting a movie in Thailand and I had
00:20:56
sex with a couple of prostitutes regular ones mm-hmm but one night I was just in the mood you know how you get in the
00:21:01
mood sometimes well for what that's an ice cream I just woke up with a tingling
00:21:08
sensation for dick no just in the mood in a mood it um yes ah moods up that is
00:21:14
dollar yeah I never felt like that before okay since you know but I woke up and
00:21:20
I'm like you know what I'm in a mood you're in a mood and I am gonna go down to the [ __ ] town right and I walked
00:21:27
around and what happens is it's I don't know if you've been to Tijuana I'm in it
00:21:33
too you wanna multiple times yeah where the kids come out of nowhere and check this you would never I mean right but
00:21:41
you're in [ __ ] Thailand right they were like nice there I'll suck your dick Meester and they were coming out of
00:21:47
nowhere right and I had to like you know I mean I miss your dick but though I for
00:21:57
some reason I was just like I can't I can't do it
00:22:03
what do you couldn't take that you can go through as a [ __ ] thing I can't take that extra step the [ __ ] thing
00:22:08
I'm okay with as long as they're of age if you want to go have sex with a prostitute that's over 18 I'm fine with
00:22:14
it yeah the problem is a lot of those lady boys are underage right aren't they yeah
00:22:20
see that's my beef that's gross [ __ ] kids is gross you felt like [ __ ] a [ __ ] because you wanted a
00:22:26
party cuz it was a nice Tuesday yeah I'm down as long as it's a grown up you are so if I don't want to do if I told you
00:22:32
yeah that that's my thing lady boys you wouldn't look down on me or Bay
00:22:37
fun of me in that way no I've supported you our entire friendship with a lot of weird [ __ ] I wouldn't look down on you
00:22:43
at all yeah the feels not even a little bit if it was of age I got a big problem with the kid thing that's a weird why do you
00:22:49
keep pointing at missing kids I've never [ __ ] a kid before I'm just saying she keeps nodding off that yeah there's a
00:22:54
lot of lady boys that are little kids there's a lot of kids yeah no kids yeah I don't care about the adult stuff adult
00:23:00
can do whatever they want as long as they're ADD grown adults if adults are like you know I saw a guy on the
00:23:06
internet yesterday somebody sent me a meme there is like a whole this masochistic porn where guys will hang
00:23:13
upside down from the ceiling on their penises yeah and get and get hit you know they people hit them and stuff yeah
00:23:18
and the woman spits on them dominatrix dominatrix stuff but hanging by their
00:23:24
penis that's a new thing I've never seen it I'm okay with all this stuff let me
00:23:29
ask you something as to adults right and I don't want to get in trouble out there but I just want to propose an idea okay
00:23:35
propose she is why 18 why is that number yeah because you know a thousand years
00:23:41
ago whenever it happened yeah right there was some sort of meeting mm-hmm right and a bunch of dudes got together
00:23:48
and go all right let's make them what kind of dude just Christian white dude what do I see why make that the legal
00:23:55
age 18 and you know there was one guy in the back my wife is nine could we maybe
00:24:06
skew it lower in some places yeah well you know there's some states is not it some states it's not it's not 18 at 17
00:24:13
there are certain states that it's not the legal but why there is it because of why it is 18 and 21 why are these
00:24:20
numbers arbitrary okay is that the right word arbitrary arbitrary is right yeah they do they are
00:24:25
arbitrary but they and I could be wrong I'm not sure Rogan I'm not gonna I don't know that I don't know how to delve into
00:24:31
these things but like right what I think is I want to know your thought on what I have truth well what I've heard is I I
00:24:38
think it's because they say your your growth of your brain activity and the development of your brain when it hits
00:24:45
18 yeah you kind of have developed your brain in full so you're no longer an
00:24:50
adolescent you don't adolescence still but what if somebody that could let me propose this idea yeah
00:24:56
are there fifteen-year-old yes I'm not saying that are said but I'll develop yeah their brains to come flu is there
00:25:02
any way to check that yeah and what you're actually saying is you know they say women mature faster than men so I
00:25:07
bet you an eighteen year old boys like a fourteen-year-old girl so then you're good theories also proposed that maybe there was a 21 year old women mm-hmm
00:25:14
that their brains are not fully developed I've met those as well most of them no I think I think what you're
00:25:22
saying is right though why are those the numbers I don't I don't know but also like liquor is 21 here everywhere else
00:25:29
that's 18 right yeah because the rest of the world thinks if you could fight and go shoot a gun at for your country for
00:25:37
war I don't know why you wouldn't be able to drink alcohol we do it I think because we binge more than other
00:25:42
countries because look at back in the day like in the like early 1900s kids ninth annual kids used to work in
00:25:50
factories what you also had a child at 15 years old right people behind these laws and these rules come up as we
00:25:56
progress a society but we live longer that's all I'm thinking we live longer
00:26:02
we live much longer use a diet 35 right you would be a [ __ ] in it you had to
00:26:08
knock it out at 7 or 8 right yeah yeah go to work in the morning as an eight-year-old in the factory get home you pump your six-year-old wife you
00:26:15
hopefully have a kid and you know and then you die by 30 machen those days when like in that if you see dad warden
00:26:21
before the 1950s people just do cocaine because it wasn't illegal Yeah right I imagined it was like a twenty thirty
00:26:26
year period where you can do heroin opiate and it was completely legal oh [ __ ] it was just kind of uh people
00:26:32
looked at it like as if I said like how people smoke pot yeah it's legal now but
00:26:37
you know if somebody doesn't like pot and they see some of the smoked pot and they're like I'm not really a fan yeah that's what a heroin was like a hundred
00:26:44
years ago be like whenever if you see old western movies and TV shows yeah the Asian dude there's three jobs Asian
00:26:51
people have opium den opium den real ornery laundry laundry a railroad right
00:26:56
those trial would be opium den you would come this way mr. Jones right and they would sit there on the bed yes
00:27:03
and you know what I would do I would smoke the opium and then it'd make you suck my dick is amazing you forced him
00:27:17
to do it he doesn't even say no yeah because I would I would do is I would get people hi I would go through their [ __ ] mmm right yeah I would wear I would
00:27:26
steal some [ __ ] right and then I would probably smoke some of my own [ __ ] no you wouldn't you no you wouldn't
00:27:33
because you would see the effect that it has on those people all right and you'd know that it would [ __ ] you up in fact I think a lot of those opium dens were
00:27:39
weren't they controlled by the Mafia wasn't it weren't they controlled by like the what's that what's that wasn't around back then I don't know man but
00:27:46
what's the new the who the Yakuza isn't that the Japanese mafia yeah yeah but there were Chinese I know I know I
00:27:51
know but I'm saying yeah yeah whatever the Yakuza was for China were they they don't like the triad that to try it
00:27:56
didn't they own all those drug dens was another show if the Chinese mafia was around in the old way had to been what
00:28:02
do you mean because mafia said because I'll tell you why yeah is because the worst job you
00:28:10
could have as an Asian person back in that day right is railroad is one thing
00:28:15
right but there was a division that had dynamite duty yeah it was always the
00:28:20
Chinese yeah right so if they had mafia or some sort of a union there would have
00:28:26
been somebody that stepped on Gus oh no we're not gonna do that anymore right right right right yes I don't think there was any enough talking for us or
00:28:33
there was any kind of you know mafia debt help it just depends on how protected you are right yeah you can't
00:28:39
protect everybody I want to ask you that this is a very serious moment dead serious do you think do you think
00:28:45
the statistics that they're kind of skewing online and not really opening up about about Asian people specifically
00:28:52
Chinese people getting attacked in public is do you think is a real thing you think it's becoming a real problem I'm being serious
00:28:57
I read a news article that said people are spitting on Chinese people now when they see them in public I'm dead serious
00:29:03
yeah I mean I don't think there's any plate it or this is real listen all I
00:29:09
can talk about is my own experience and
00:29:15
online and and a little bit I've been out I have not experienced any cuts since the virus
00:29:21
if you're out in public have you ever heard a racial slur now I know we live in a very insular place
00:29:27
here we have you Jules have you ever had no no but nothing have you felt any negativity from other
00:29:32
people when you go out in public or no because I think that I'm sure it's real but here's the thing I've come with I
00:29:38
come with my experiences with racism before this event yeah and I do have
00:29:45
feelings about that but those feelings haven't changed I still believe there
00:29:50
are massive amounts of people in America that are racist sure right in the middle
00:29:55
some in the middle some in the south no you're not no no I know yeah so um so
00:30:01
that I come with so I think those people are maybe extra racist now during this
00:30:07
time right but it's like I don't know if racism has clicked up so right yeah
00:30:13
because that's what's a lot of this stuff says they say like Trump's rhetoric is making people more racist
00:30:18
you know they're saying because they called it the Chinese virus which we joked about before and the Kong flu it's like is he making people more racist and
00:30:24
I think you're not gonna be more racist than you already were a [ __ ] racist yeah and I don't think this is like
00:30:30
imploring people to go do more racist [ __ ] if you're a dumb jaggoff that's a
00:30:36
racist you were gonna do whatever you were gonna do because you're I don't think this I don't think this changes things that's my point I just don't I
00:30:42
don't think so but I do think that maybe people are more it gives them power to be more vocal about the racist sure yeah
00:30:48
I think that that could be the case it they could they could post on their Facebook to all their creepy friends like [ __ ] goddamn [ __ ] chinks
00:30:55
again and they get away with it because now you know because I'm now what's going on and no one no one no one gets
00:31:02
on them about it because people around them that think like they do go yeah [ __ ] you're [ __ ] Chinese so it loops so maybe I do believe that for
00:31:09
some reason or another because of who's in charge it's given it's given power
00:31:16
right to the one you like before you were able to hide the [ __ ] yeah I mean
00:31:22
yeah hey our presence is number one on Facebook number one number one on
00:31:27
Facebook when he's number are you on Facebook I don't care we're in a pandemic listen
00:31:33
I'm not on Facebook I know but when he said that I laughed I'll tell you why when he said I'm number one a face yeah
00:31:40
when he said that right Trump yeah I imagined right some guy hooked up to a
00:31:45
respirator right in a hospital going I
00:31:52
don't know why would that one paralyzed guy being excited here's the thing is is
00:31:59
that regardless of music I don't know if he's a good president or a bad president but it's like hey man um there's just a
00:32:05
time to say something yeah and there's a time not to that's the thing it's like yeah instinctually you know I want to
00:32:13
post certain things but I pass it I call other people well you ask kalila before you post I'll go cloud do you think this
00:32:19
is weird and she'll go no dude that's just so [ __ ] narcissistic why would you post that you go you're right who's
00:32:25
the comic that you call before you tweet something is there someone that you go for for black stuff it's Ian Edwards
00:32:30
yeah he's my guy yeah you know I'm not kidding I'm either Ian Edwards is my guy
00:32:36
if I have a tweet that might be racist yeah I always go is this racist and he will genuinely go yeah no that's [ __ ]
00:32:42
up one night I was at The Improv I was at The Improv and I'm not gonna say
00:32:48
whose I'm not gonna say who it was but there was a buddy a comic-con friends with black comic who was on stage and
00:32:55
you know look it's a typical thing in our culture that we joke about that black guys run the light on stand-up
00:33:01
shows it's just a joke it's a joke no but it's a it's a scientific it's a fact but it's a joke it's a joke with us
00:33:07
right we always joke about it yeah black comics usually run the light I don't care that that's it's not racist that's
00:33:12
a fact if you're a comic it's something we joke about right Mexicans do it too yeah but they deserve it though I think
00:33:19
I'm a little time okay yeah no but anyway so he was running a light a night and I put something in my Twitter drafts
00:33:25
and I asked Ian about it and I said is this bad it's not a mean joke I just said every time a black every time a
00:33:31
black comic smacks the mic on his leg another one runs the light that's funny
00:33:37
and he was like he was like no no that's not that's not that bad but I ended up not doing it cuz I was afraid I would just didn't want the thing yeah cuz
00:33:44
Twitter so volatile at the time yeah remember with anything that anybody would say people look and they would jump on you
00:33:49
about it yes I just I was like now that's another thing that you just brought up though my pet peeve is is that and I'm not saying why comics do it
00:33:57
as well yeah but it's like when a joke with a tell a joke and they laugh at it
00:34:03
themselves and then they you know mean smack the mic on the mic I hate it I it it drives me
00:34:09
well Chappelle does it a lot and I think a lot of comics yeah but I think a lot of comics stole it from him that's what
00:34:14
it is it's as he started it and yeah fine when he does it because what he's saying is a very very funny horse would
00:34:20
make him laugh yes now comics do it when it's not funny yes it drives me nuts smack in the mic on
00:34:26
your leg it's not your thing so don't do it and then the audience gets fooled into it alright there's so many like
00:34:32
little tricks like that on stage that people do that I I know about yeah we know I mean there's a plane well you
00:34:38
guys are thinking you're thinking you know when they say when they start you don't mean pointing out what the
00:34:43
audience is what they're in and then the audience laughs as it well they give them that so they give them the thing
00:34:48
that they're supposed to laugh about yeah so they go and I know what you think I know what you're saying yeah
00:34:53
right so they just gave it to them trick right it's a great trick there's so many little tricks little part little parlor
00:34:59
tricks yeah I'm gonna ask you a real question at a conversation with a friend the other day about this you talk real fast do you think I know I'm on coke do
00:35:07
you think that do you think you have to have a little bit of fucked-up-ness to
00:35:13
be a good comic it's a never-ending debate no because um I think before when
00:35:19
I started doing stand-up that was the case but I think comedy has changed do
00:35:24
you think everybody that's at the top has [ __ ] up a little bit no I think that I mean give me a list of common I'll tell you who's not funky I'll give
00:35:30
you a list right now Sebastian Maniscalco yep he kills kids he kills kids I know he goes to a
00:35:38
private island to shoot children who else who else is high on the list they
00:35:44
all the Sebastian doesn't have any issues I don't think I think it I know his sister I've met his parents before
00:35:49
he's the nicest guy good work ethic you know he's not even Italian you know that right yeah yes he's Argentinean
00:35:55
no he's tough here's another one yeah al Madrigal what
00:36:01
do you mean good dude Al's insane al has massive anger issues I know al very well
00:36:06
yells crazy has anger issues okay I will kill I will kill somebody al is a
00:36:13
murderer yeah I know dude that will kill somebody that aren't [ __ ] comics as well what I'm saying is is that al is
00:36:18
volatile al can be volatile and he's a crazy person I love al he's crazy okay let's go let me call al let me see if he
00:36:25
thinks he's got watch this let's see if yeah let's see if he's got any wait
00:36:31
what's going on how do I do this why wouldn't you pick up you don't think
00:36:36
he's gonna pick up the phone if I ask him I think he'd pick up for me oh you want to call him at the exact same time yeah let's see well I can't I can't
00:36:44
connect to that oh now I'm connected oh don't do it ya know I'm calling no let's do it at the same time see who he picks up first well no because I'm connected
00:36:50
to the Mike and you're not I'm connected Hey look at how fast that was one ring
00:36:57
magical on the bank wearing a mask at
00:37:03
the bank are you robbing the bad man I'm in the bank wearing a full mask and luckily all the tellers are wearing
00:37:09
masks so we're in good are you guys can I ask you one quick question in the bank
00:37:15
before you robbing everybody do you think do you think that you do you think
00:37:21
that you're a little [ __ ] up and you have the capability of snapping and killing someone if need be if it came down to it and I needed to
00:37:29
kill someone I could say somebody was trying to attack one of the kids I'd break somebody's neck or kill somebody -
00:37:39
you know it do you know how some comics have issues and they had fucked-up childhood and that's what drove them to
00:37:46
doing stand-up and we're talking about healthy comics that I don't think that had that kind of history and I mentioned
00:37:51
your name I don't I just feel like that you're typically just a normal regular kind of a nice guy yeah but al don't you
00:37:57
have an undertone of anger yeah yeah talk about it's well-documented
00:38:04
all right thank you soon I have a lot of moments I regret good he's the [ __ ]
00:38:12
best see he's killing it right now yeah I know he's just a movie what was it called water girl basketball time
00:38:18
basketball time welcome back I'm like even if you he's you know he's second on the he's second on the thing on the
00:38:25
billing or whatever when I saw his I know it went Ben Affleck and how magical it's a and he isn't another movie coming
00:38:31
out - yeah he's got it he's got more [ __ ] coming yeah what of killing the game Ben Affleck by the way saw him at
00:38:37
the Clipper game yeah do when they were doing the premiere of that movie a month ago yeah distel I should I just him
00:38:44
heart you dissed him dissed him heart Ben Affleck yabba nefeli he turned around to go Santino and I go yeah man
00:38:49
what's up and I looked away why he didn't do that he doesn't know yeah no he does we got old beef dude Ben and I
00:38:56
have old-school beef what happened we went out and a group of us went out to dinner one time yeah you know and
00:39:01
everyone's like no beefs new beefs with I can they III don't it I'm not gonna name me an ass licker out at a nice dinner but you I'm telling
00:39:08
everyone listening right now all right
00:39:13
no but I'm making up the Ben Affleck story you know but I know you're not I know you're making that up yeah but I just want a new look how
00:39:20
anger you're getting but don't name any word I'm not but he's called me before this guy and goes I have to [ __ ] that
00:39:25
guy [ __ ] that guy and it's usually a big movie star or a TV star yeah what happened oh man I was out man and I said
00:39:34
hi to him and he was like acting all weird the only reason I say [ __ ] is if
00:39:40
they deserve it if they deserve it I only [ __ ] you if you deserve it yeah if you're a dick to me I'm gonna be a dick
00:39:45
to you you're too nice you let people be mean to you and you're still nicer than bad no I do you don't think that I have
00:39:51
beefs with big celebrity personal beefs with I know but they have to cross a big
00:39:56
line with a cross lines with Papa and when Papa gets like I don't you know I'm at a point now in my career let's have a
00:40:02
war you're ready I am ready to have a war because I'm 48 now I don't give a [ __ ] you know ken John got pissed off
00:40:08
about what we said about him and him and Joe Biden starting a podcast no Jon
00:40:13
McHale got pissed off why would he pissed off and John went public about it he said I can't believe these two pieces of [ __ ]
00:40:19
are talking about me no they know I talked to him he said Bobby's talented Santino texted me and we talked I know
00:40:26
you lie again telling you you redheaded freak a full of Chicago love you really did you talk to him yes What did he say
00:40:33
nothing we didn't talk I didn't even remember even saying his thing about bad runs what's their show called the
00:40:39
greatest good buds I don't know I didn't talk to him I'm a good liar ray look
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squishy things you can change the sizes so if it's your change the sire it Assizes and also when you switch some songs it's easier to press like the
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little button that they have yeah well yeah because you you can actually physically feel a click back there also slicker yeah they're slower looking and
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they're smooth and then they're tiny they're tender bud the casing it comes with it's [ __ ] great so tell them
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rake on.com slash at fred friends that's right baby hey let me ask you one more real question are you finding time to go
00:42:38
to meetings how are you doing it do you zoom in a meeting I did a meeting Monday night it's a men's meeting it was
00:42:43
eighty-six men and everyone shared wait wait wait online yeah unzoom you do eighty-six
00:42:49
people in a zoom it took four hours how can that be it was great you know I shouldn't I [ __ ] say yeah so I had a
00:42:56
friend I have a friend that you know he's a comic yeah oh I know who it is yeah but don't say its name yeah and he
00:43:03
was also in the meeting yeah and it's what's great about zoom meetings now is is that you could have
00:43:08
my phone to my left they have the computer in front of me yeah and we could text each other about what people
00:43:14
are wearing are like boohoo or I mean or II had positive things but like I think
00:43:20
that's what made what didn't good just sometimes when people share do occasionally people share and people like roll their eyes yeah and sometimes
00:43:27
I get angry like you know one time about a month ago somebody shared something
00:43:32
because in the meeting that I go to there's a two minute time limit you can only say for talk for two minutes only
00:43:38
two minutes and then as soon as the bell goes off you have to shut up so is there any black people in the meeting oh
00:43:43
there's a lot of uh people did they run the limit no they don't even [ __ ] you but there was a I swear to God there was
00:43:49
a guy that shared whose head is guys um the cancer came back oh [ __ ] he's like
00:43:55
the cancer came back and um it's spread he's crying
00:44:00
how if it's spreading and they're saying that the chemo might not even be enough
00:44:08
and yet is sit down yeah he stopped talking you a still oh my god and the
00:44:14
people are like alright so in the next guy shared and that's it like I wanted to go give him another minute yeah give
00:44:20
him one more yeah is when it what this is what I know this is a very hacky concept but I mean this if it's
00:44:26
anonymous why do you announce your name because I can say do you use does anybody use a
00:44:31
pseudonym no I can say that I'm in a if I want to
00:44:36
but I can't call anyone else out that's in the program I know but if I feel like if I was in a program
00:44:41
I would not say my real name but because it's anonymous no one's gonna talk about I know but I don't know no one says your
00:44:48
last name no one you know I'll go well they know who the [ __ ] you are yeah I'll go hey my name is Bobby Lee live that's my Twitter handle and you
00:44:56
know I mean cuz I don't give a [ __ ] right a alcoholic and drug addict there are some guys that are speak celebrities
00:45:01
yeah who had changed their name as a celebrity but they go by the real name in the room all right right so a I'm
00:45:09
Tony you know man but you know them as like you know mean Marcus somebody else yes that was GTX
00:45:16
you know me the rapper otx whatever but they'll go you have any rappers in your program do we have everything
00:45:21
Wow we got like moguls we got you know I mean plumbers we got all kinds of stuff man plumbers and moguls that is cool see
00:45:28
it's kind of like ice in LA I feel like meetings are more of a [ __ ] cultural meetup than anything else no but it's men's and it's like it's
00:45:35
really real it's like what I like about no women at all it's a men's meeting yes is that no what why is that a normal
00:45:42
thing to separate sexist this is a stack my stag meetings are better for me is
00:45:47
because the mixed meetings is there's a lot of distractions going on number one when you share you keep in mind because
00:45:55
there are women there as well you get conscious of that you get conscious of that and I can't really be that vulnerable but in front of men
00:46:02
right and when men are being vulnerable and say whatever the [ __ ] you want it feels better and also um what I like
00:46:10
about it is is that when I see people that are doing in perceptional a better
00:46:16
than me or bigger than me famous wise and yeah and we in just in terms of the history books you know and they're going
00:46:23
through trauma and daily life things that I go through and they still
00:46:29
struggle with issues it makes me I don't know it just gives me like you're I'm
00:46:35
not and I'm I'm not the only one on this boat right you're not a lot yeah I'm not alone yeah it feels really nice it feels
00:46:41
good that no matter where you are in life no matter how much money that you have no matter how much success you have
00:46:46
that you're always gonna number one take you with you you're always gonna be the
00:46:51
same it doesn't fix you right everyone knows that what you get that's why you know when now
00:46:57
when people are when friends of mine get successfulness and that I just know that
00:47:03
you know whatever they get it does not it's not fixing whatever issues that
00:47:08
they have they're the same guy sure and that it doesn't really [ __ ] matter you know man so all right I need to be
00:47:14
reminded that you take you with you is very cool you're always taking yourself with you so it's like um the it feeling
00:47:20
happy is an inside job yeah it is Noah trust me I learned this I went to
00:47:25
what is it called al-anon is that families of yeah yeah yeah yeah I don't know if you went to it but anyway no I did I just remember I I didn't really I
00:47:32
went with my dad one time and I didn't enjoy I remember not enjoying it it was really hard to get me to go to go mmm
00:47:38
I really struggled because there are comics that are heavily ended left no no this was and by the way this wasn't
00:47:43
al-anon this was some other thing yeah I I had been to that but this was a real
00:47:49
it was a conference like a national media oh yeah yeah yeah an international a copper oh yeah and I went to one of
00:47:56
those and he was there and it was really ty was really tell your dad recovering mm-hmm
00:48:01
yes yeah he's been he's been clean for years now but did he go to a meetings yeah
00:48:07
oh he's active he said he's my brother then yes he goes to NA meetings yeah but
00:48:12
he's my brother sure oh yeah yeah that's cool yeah he's also much older now so I
00:48:17
don't he doesn't go as much as he used to but but he I got you top with him you duck well yeah I mean you live two very
00:48:23
different lives but yes yeah why because his was more crime induce his landed him
00:48:30
in jail a lot yeah but you know the yours is more yours was more sanitary they always say look for the
00:48:36
similarities not the differences okay yeah yeah no well no yeah you are yes so
00:48:42
I went to one of those but it was really hard for me yeah I still never come to grips with the idea of like being in and
00:48:48
out of prison for drugs I never understood that it made me mad he never robbed anybody never killed anybody never he never like imposed violence so
00:48:55
I don't want to do therapy yeah okay yeah I just you know I just last time I
00:49:01
went was oh wait oh hey I know I just think that and this is just my humble
00:49:07
opinion yeah that you just maybe need a little bit more spirituality in your life first
00:49:13
of all I was first of all I grew up a Catholic so you don't [ __ ] know that spiritual yeah well it [ __ ] you up it makes you not want to be spiritual yeah
00:49:19
so grow up a Catholic and see what would go through those schools it's for more namaste spiritual' nama states hard to
00:49:26
get to when you're when you're what you and your Catholicism is your youth anybody who's a fan that knows about
00:49:31
Catholicism it'll [ __ ] you up as a kid mmm it's crazy yeah but what I'm saying is is that can you at least be open to
00:49:38
it or now do submit it no because as a young Catholic you learn to not be open if you're open that's when you get
00:49:43
caught you're gonna change Barry and Barry that's Mary because
00:49:50
clinch Barry because people like me bury your emotions because people like me are gonna get affected right by me you're
00:49:57
gonna snap right and then I'm gonna be the one that's shot mm-hmm no I don't
00:50:02
want to die and I love you I don't I would never shoot you and kill you that's another thing that you do what are our phone calls even though you do
00:50:09
answer with the [ __ ] like a [ __ ] dude's ass a [ __ ] like a baby [ __ ] stop saying because I will fight you I
00:50:15
will [ __ ] fight you and I don't want to hear [ __ ] anymore stop saying that all right say [ __ ] that's what you how about this yeah you act like a very
00:50:23
loose [ __ ] is that better and you act
00:50:29
like you act like I know Luther I don't want to say don't worry I don't I want
00:50:34
to say the word does it why can't I say that word that I'm thinking of [ __ ] no
00:50:41
you act like an aloof mentally challenged person I get what you're
00:50:47
saying but look look yes we all probably need a little bit more therapy can I tell you a moment in
00:50:52
therapy that really made me but don't just say everything that you're doing though then I've noticed yeah is at the
00:50:59
end of our conversations I love you I do
00:51:06
I say I love you do you know why I say that [ __ ] you Bob do you know what I say
00:51:14
I love you do you know why I say all right because it's my way of saying
00:51:21
I know I'm heavy I know I'm a lot yeah you know I love you ah you said really
00:51:29
it's more of a it's not a real thing then no no it's saying like you see that everybody I say it to people up to my
00:51:35
some only to my closest friends I won't say too I would ever say to her Kalin if Brian called Callen called you would
00:51:42
you say like he probably picks up the phone and goes hey buddy no he goes hey loose [ __ ] no no I'm counting the phone
00:51:50
and he picks up you're you're you're you and you're calling me I'm Brian here you go ready yeah well Who am I you're you know you're
00:51:59
calling me hello just turn off my oxygen
00:52:11
tank know if-- I said when bride want to
00:52:20
hang with Briah I say I don't know if I say I love you brother Tim but maybe a lot of guys I do that I'm that I really do love all right
00:52:26
let me ask you this I only say to my eyes do you really do love me I do I love you very my love you too she smiled
00:52:38
Jules Jules don't say anything but because here's the thing with what I just got to get this off my chest I like
00:52:43
that you're yelling at her and tell her not to say anything this is like back home for her she doesn't want to talk she you can talk yeah she doesn't want
00:52:50
to do you have to pull put up number two yeah she's shy but um you know I don't
00:52:59
know how she feels about me what do you mean I'd okay I I think I don't know I don't know if she's like I have to live
00:53:05
in this house with this [ __ ] crazy person right but isn't she living rent-free yeah she is yeah well she's
00:53:11
fine if she's living rent-free then she's fine pal all right well I think that it it's it's difficult for her
00:53:17
because she's from the Philippines she grew up in the Philippines she's out here for school and we did a lot of
00:53:23
things to get her out here I'm she's getting straight A's she's acclimated into herself to American society but she doesn't know
00:53:30
the language I mean I think she'll is she's fine but she does she she you know she doesn't really talk to
00:53:38
me that much what do you mean she doesn't talk to you that much she'll go good morning Tita Bobby which is
00:53:45
I guess Uncle Bobby and I keep telling her call me Tito Tito what did Tito means uncle right yeah so
00:53:54
she'll go ahead and eat the Bobby how are you fine and then that's look that
00:53:59
that's the conversation for the rest of the day so you she doesn't you think she's like you cuz she doesn't talk to you I think that she I don't know I just
00:54:06
for every once in a while would like her to go hi how are you beings how you
00:54:12
feelings today maybe she's not in touch with that side yeah she is young maybe she's something maybe she's someone
00:54:18
who's just not in touch with that side yeah do you think about that maybe but one time of it was great because kalila
00:54:24
and I yeah when we were in Seattle we took Jules to Seattle remember that and then we were in the movie theater to
00:54:30
watch hereditary yeah movie right and so so it's me Jules and kalila and there's
00:54:38
this couple in front of us and there was a point in the movie where it scared me
00:54:43
cuz it's a whole [ __ ] movie yeah sorry about ah like that and then the
00:54:48
couple turns right will you shut up they shut the [ __ ] up to me you'd be quiet if
00:54:54
you're gonna do that skate home watch it at home [ __ ] you lady right so kalila and I would
00:54:59
remember that so kalila and I we stopped watching the movie and we just started staring at the
00:55:05
back of their heads right so this is what happened start and then we so I had
00:55:11
to watch the movie twice because now at this point now you want to kill these the whole time and then jewel did you
00:55:16
feel what was going on then yeah so she felt it yeah so then the movie ends the
00:55:22
credits starts rolling and everyone gets up to leave not kalila die oh you said
00:55:28
we sat there and just stared at the back of their heads and now they're sitting there like this like leaving they're not
00:55:35
[ __ ] leaving right they can feel you guys oh yeah as soon as the lights go on Kyle and I stand up and just start
00:55:42
[ __ ] right [ __ ] you you what the [ __ ] and we and Jules is and
00:55:52
then we follow them outside the [ __ ] movie theater you know for state if four levels yeah they're on the escalator
00:55:58
we're on the escalator kalila I just [ __ ] was she embarrassed was Julie
00:56:04
embarrassed we're angry you ain't were you upset at them for doing that or did you like it she was upset too yeah yeah but it was a
00:56:11
crazy she seems too nice to do anything like that though no but apparently she is edgy she's got a dark side in that
00:56:18
Filipino language so I guess it was your in Cebu yeah sometimes she is like [ __ ] Sarah Silverman you know I mean
00:56:24
like oh but here in America she's like [ __ ] librarian tt-to means uncle what
00:56:30
is is there a word for red-headed people like what's the word for weirdo or gross or for glory augury what's the word for
00:56:38
augury but think now yeah that's me yeah yeah I think now
00:56:44
it's a beautiful island thank you yeah oh yeah that's what I want to do is let's call Andreas cuz I know you want
00:56:50
to hear from your fancy B and let's see what he's he's got for us in the chamber cuz we could do video with him do you
00:56:57
want to see his face or you don't care I love with the face so you do want to see him yeah by the way he called me to
00:57:04
their na he's named the other day he's getting he got kicked out of his place really they can't afford it and he asked
00:57:10
me to he's like could you loan me a little bit of money yeah no we don't we
00:57:16
don't need help I said you'll figure it out grow up I said be a man dude grow up don't be a dick in this [ __ ] I sent
00:57:24
him monster calm there's a ton of jobs you can get I said there's a whole hola
00:57:30
hola que pasa hey do you want to do do
00:57:36
you wanna do you want to um come on do your video stand up right now and you have the ability to or no yeah we want
00:57:42
you to make the jokes that you prepared no but I want to do let's do a different exercise what do you want let's do some improv which with him you so I want him
00:57:50
to stand there right right and he's gonna improvise the bits okay hey
00:57:55
undress I need to put him up against the wall because because the challenge isn't strong alright today I'm gonna get on Google
00:58:01
I'm gonna get on google chat and hit you okay okay yeah I'll FaceTime you then
00:58:09
how about that how about that okay yeah piece of [ __ ] thank you to Don he's
00:58:16
gotten a little - ever since we started you know employing him I gotta tell you he's been a little much we have to be
00:58:22
careful though because I know I've been on podcast before yeah and I've had you
00:58:28
know I've seen witnessed people that were like an engineer or somebody that just was in the background get kind of
00:58:35
popular on a podcast and then they they changed so we got to put them on you think he's changed I just we just don't
00:58:41
want that right we don't want that to get to that way I don't want to be need be Jules can take over all right here we
00:58:48
go let's see if we can see if we can get here hey there he is
00:59:01
hey guys hey Harry seem nervous yeah why do you seem so nervous so um
00:59:12
you know Andreas the last the other day when you did it you read it off the page
00:59:18
they're still to talk show II jokes for me yeah so we want we want you to just
00:59:25
improvise a little bit and and not and just improvise it doesn't have to even
00:59:31
be funny but I just want you to not gonna be funny thank you right you can only you only
00:59:36
see me do you want me to turn it so you can see Bobby no I don't need to see him he doesn't need to see that yeah so like
00:59:41
you know I want him to like do more Seinfeld II jokes like what's up with
00:59:47
airports well you want jokes or improv yeah yes I talk about airports is riving
00:59:52
how about how about you get up there you start do one of your one of your regular jokes and then you're gonna talk to me
00:59:58
and Bob as if we're members of the audience to try to engage with us okay let's see how good you are crowd work is what we call it you ready okay all right
01:00:05
get up there read read one of your best jokes and then start doing crowd work with me and Bobby okay okay right okay
01:00:11
right here we go we want to do the intro this time yeah yeah I'm gonna do the intro right go ahead hey welcome to the fart Factory laugh
01:00:19
house here in Connecticut I'd love to bring up this next guy he is incredible
01:00:25
he's a size 37 waist where the [ __ ] did you go okay get off camera then we'll
01:00:32
start that way here we go ready hi welcome back to the fart Hut chuckle
01:00:38
[ __ ] house this is your next comic he plays clubs and colleges Haeundae what
01:00:55
we were shooting now they're Episode six of my friends I found a note from Bobby
01:01:02
in the inlet in the trash can oh wow yeah Bobby wrote this note
01:01:10
yeah I think I mean Bobby brought this note it has any like you know some ashes
01:01:17
from his cigarette says you know Bobby Lee's resolutions in times of corona
01:01:26
exactly okay so let's see what he wrote
01:01:31
make sure to touch base enough so people notice I wear gloves and yeah I think
01:01:39
he's doing a great job with that don't you think
01:01:46
okay Leila's staggie Valley and more my
01:01:54
plaster that's good it's good good good
01:01:59
challenge change one password from two
01:02:05
two two two two one two three four so fast can guess it yeah I think that's a
01:02:13
good one because a lot of people have in common I stopped using Felton as a chair and
01:02:21
start pedaling more and candless to bear Christ
01:02:26
in triathlon yeah so he needs to start training work and this is I tried the
01:02:35
low-carb Lou Malnati's pizza cuz you sit in too much of the other you kept
01:02:40
running on so yeah the other side of the
01:02:50
streets on Mondays yeah name to Bobby exotic to enter the
01:02:58
power high hall of fame we be more woke
01:03:04
and settle up the alarm before noon and then the last one says here half and
01:03:11
half an CB right me 15 minutes of jokes for my special he's crashing it oh thank
01:03:20
you so much yeah okay do some crowd work to summarize crowd work do some crowd world like we're audience member audience members
01:03:26
just ask will you throw them so guys what do you think are you from from San
01:03:32
Diego did more more more what do you do
01:03:44
for a living stay on that audience member David what
01:03:53
do you do oh I work at PF Changs I'm a waiter yes okay hey man you're
01:04:06
killing stick to this member of the audience do it what do you think what do you make that so what do you mean you
01:04:12
thought so I just like the competition
01:04:27
yeah yeah of course you do yeah go to
01:04:36
Andy now go to Andrew let's go to someone else the ginger one that one out what's your
01:04:44
name what are you from I'm from Los Angeles California oh wow so you guys how you
01:04:53
doing through this pandemic I'm good we're just making it through man how are
01:04:59
you I'm great my one-bedroom house
01:05:06
you're where the comedy we're at a [ __ ] comedy club yeah amazing comedy
01:05:13
club yes performing to this immense in like public yeah so ask me what it is great
01:05:20
ask me what I do for a living oh I'm a mechanic I actually fix cars oh
01:05:27
yeah yeah yeah do you speak Spanish si oh yeah so me coach it unum problema oh
01:05:36
well do you want me to help you fix it absolutely okay no like change the tire
01:05:42
I do do you know how to change a tire I do great this coming the PF Changs guy
01:05:56
does you know how to change a tire PF Changs the PF chen guys left the club or oh he left me
01:06:06
so again unless you did a great job great job man that was your first crowd work that was very good job thank you
01:06:13
you remember the rules our crowd work best rules our crowd work okay because man it'd be as mean as you possibly can
01:06:19
yeah alienate the audience be rude be stupid and be monotonous make no sense
01:06:25
and don't align anything up with whatever they're saying okay okay where are you going what happened oh he
01:06:34
sprang he sprang he's getting some love he's getting some disinfectant Andres thank you so much we appreciate you we
01:06:40
love you stay safe during the pandemic okay bud we love you man bye dude bye
01:06:46
dude he's awesome Wow he should never do it you know what can I say this though yeah he's better than George yeah what
01:06:53
yeah Georgia stand up you know that right no he doesn't you know he does stand up right he doesn't do stand up
01:06:58
yes he does he does he had an open mic he did every week for years he's open for me for me before at the Irvine
01:07:05
improv wait seriously yeah and and let me say something right now how much time can he do he did okay
01:07:11
so this is what happened so I go all right you can do ten minutes does he really do stand so he goes to the Irvine improv and killed my friend
01:07:17
Gilbert was there we taped it he bombed so bad that two minutes in yeah I
01:07:25
started screaming at that was panicking I was he was that bad you remember any
01:07:33
of his jokes no he did a joke about a futon what led that he said he has one yeah how about my foot I don't even
01:07:39
understand the joke he was just like he was [ __ ] terrible and he did it for years and years is he still do stand-up
01:07:47
yeah he does yeah we're just open mics around town no way yeah I didn't know
01:07:52
that no oh yeah I mean I thought he had dabbled in comedy before no he does open mics now that were separate from
01:08:02
everybody we need to call everybody we know what our phone yeah Bert George do
01:08:09
you do you do do you do stand-up what say I hosted for probably a year every
01:08:19
week okay so undress just murdered with crowd work by the way yeah murdered he
01:08:25
lit the room on fire Bobby said he Bobby said you're willing you could be willing to give us one of your best jokes right
01:08:31
now okay let's hear it religious and you
01:08:44
know when Jesus Christ is your co-pilot funny thing is you never let them push
01:08:50
me down what What did he say I can't you broke up do you break up do the joke
01:08:57
again slow it down I couldn't hear you must have broken down it's a great one
01:09:02
so I'll do it again okay you know I grew up awake yes
01:09:10
and when Jesus Christ is your co-pilot somehow he never let you set the GPS to
01:09:16
[ __ ] town it's okay George George where
01:09:27
what where do you think [ __ ] town is
01:09:32
between a lady's legs what this is pretty rather not be live or he's got
01:09:38
doing this live no no no no let me noted
01:09:44
like anyway great good to see you man I
01:10:00
didn't know he did stand out yeah I think that's funny because like you know for some reason everyone around me so I
01:10:07
started tiger belly and all of a sudden George starts doing it Gilbert does it
01:10:12
yeah yeah because I would have kalila started when Stan did do it no but I mean like really got into did 12 times
01:10:19
what yeah kalila did it 12 she opened for you no
01:10:24
she never did she did open mikes around town I think the last gig she did was that flappers did you see that video
01:10:29
they put up what about flappers closing down forever they put up a video online about it forever I don't know if it's forever but
01:10:37
they put up a video that they're gonna close up gonna tell you can't stay open can I say something about that Club sure you like that Club I've know I've never
01:10:45
done it so the lady calls me the woman that owns it yeah yeah and you know
01:10:51
she's probably a nice lady but she calls me and she goes hey yeah just letting you know I'm opening up a club in
01:10:56
Burbank it's called flappers mm-hmm a great man I'd love to do it to call um
01:11:01
my agent says just tell me what weekend I can do oh no no I'm sorry I you know
01:11:08
I'm having like elevated headliners like jimmy dore and stuff so you know i was
01:11:14
just calling to see if you could do maybe a Tuesday or something what yeah and I go Oh bye-bye wait she offered you to come
01:11:25
do the club but not to headline yeah like let then I guess a year later she calls me back yeah she goes oh I'm
01:11:31
sorry for that call I just you're at different place I didn't know what place you were in now but know that then and
01:11:37
now can you do we can I go no but then know that you don't call me your job is to know that if you're a comedy I love
01:11:43
Jimmy Dory he's a great comic yeah yeah yeah I love him are you saying that you know he's a headline or two but two you
01:11:49
know that you are I am as well yeah they should know that you you own a comedy club to go oh I didn't know what
01:11:56
position you whenever something like like like a haha cafe on Lankershim mmm-hmm I would do it more but one day I
01:12:03
was sitting there and I go can I get a diet coke or whatever and I was doing the show and they then they charged me
01:12:09
for the Dyke Hulk shut up yeah and I'm like oh this is that kind of Club I can't play here what year was this like
01:12:16
six years ago they charge you for a diet [ __ ] coke
01:12:21
but about that clubs club that occurs close down haha sit forever I mean I've driven by it's boarded up oh really
01:12:28
yeah it's a flappers has gone forever I don't know am i close they said am i close so many businesses are closed you know that's sad to hear but yeah man
01:12:35
it's a great club for people for people and no I'm not I don't I was just reporting what I heard I've never played
01:12:40
the club I don't know I the only time I've ever even stepped foot in there is my very first jfl showcase was there oh
01:12:48
really I think so it said I played it before it's a nice room yeah no Comedy Store closed permanently would you be sad are you
01:12:56
[ __ ] kidding me but like what would you do that I've always thought that what the [ __ ] would be would we do I moved to New York you really would if
01:13:03
all the clubs here closed if it was like because of the Comedy Store closes the [ __ ] Improv is gone okay right and if
01:13:09
the Improv and that Comedy Store are gone and and the factory's not there either it's like what am I doing here I
01:13:15
don't they would but obviously shows would pop up hop up it would pop up you know I wouldn't move to New York I'm
01:13:21
being [ __ ] yeah you bought a house verbalising yeah but no no but I would but out but but honestly it's what's
01:13:26
happening right now not being able to go to the store has been oh my god I know I [ __ ] hate every the
01:13:33
night sucks my nights so no I know I know they're dark day is now dark night but you know what what makes me get
01:13:39
through it is that we're all going through it together ya know yeah and it's like we just has as a society and let's be real
01:13:45
let's just be real for a while let's be honest and real Jules stop joking around stop [ __ ] around all right listen
01:13:54
everyone we're all going through this we're all like number one I wake up and
01:14:01
I go what the [ __ ] is going on this is insane this is my first Pandi I don't know what
01:14:07
the [ __ ] anyone Andy one man and so we're all in this together yeah we all
01:14:12
have hardships some more than others and you know god bless the people that are
01:14:19
helping out in the medical field in the nurses and the doctors do you know what I did the other day what you did the
01:14:24
other day can i brag yeah go ahead no because if you go ahead I'm gonna brag I'm gonna brag I'm gonna brag a
01:14:30
little bit whatever to drag a little bit uh no because Whitney and Josh wolf for organizing buying ER nurses and doctors
01:14:36
meals yeah I was like I'll buy the meal so I bought 30 people lunch yeah I'm doing that I just talked to Whitney this
01:14:41
morning screaming that next week it felt really good rag2 yeah but you didn't do it yet yeah we'll see if you do it I you
01:14:48
want to know what I've done I've done things you don't even nothing capable of knowing of that done when it when I
01:14:55
submit when it when a Comedy Festival asks for you to submit people do you submit them I have to bro
01:15:01
I've show Kate I've set up showcases for my agents for people name one comic that
01:15:06
yovan and Eric Griffin I'm the one that got signed them to see a [ __ ] um
01:15:11
what's his name the black eye from Trevor Noah I saw Trevor Noah in South Africa ten
01:15:19
years ago and you said you got to bring him over here no I cycle when I did a show with Trevor Noah
01:15:24
I called CAA yeah and Matt Blake and I go you gotta see this [ __ ] guy and
01:15:30
one of them that blows I'm not gonna go to South Africa I thought you know what Matt Trevor's coming to America
01:15:35
to do a show in Vegas opening for somebody right I've sent
01:15:40
Matt over there decide him yeah all right so [ __ ] you so Trevor Noah's because of
01:15:46
you Trevor knows because of you I helped or did it hurt I do want to say
01:15:57
something very important because we did get real for a hat second you're you weren't you I cut you off but yes thank you to the health workers we are going
01:16:03
through it at different levels everyone's having a tough time but let's let's loop something around we never do this you said something earlier that I
01:16:10
think is very cool I want to take you take you with you no matter what level you're at hmm so whether you're in bad
01:16:16
times or good times it's gonna be exacerbated of who you really are you take you with you that's
01:16:21
the name of this episode yeah and we and that's important to remember I'm being serious yeah and we ever can do we have
01:16:27
to do everything we can I know it's difficult but to get out of ourselves and you help where we can and helping
01:16:34
other people is what I'm trying to I'm trying to do it more and more online during this whole thing because this whole thing sucks it sucks so it's so
01:16:43
much it's so much I'm glad that we're that we got to the studio so [ __ ] bad
01:16:49
because we don't know what's gonna happen I think I know as we there's a lot of questions like no one can tell us
01:16:56
you know they say a month no way no [ __ ] way what you I think I think
01:17:02
July will be back up and running August Wow really yeah Wow I think
01:17:10
August and that's that's when we start slowly coming out Wow yeah so that
01:17:17
really like scares me a little bit yeah we're in for a long haul you know I was talking to Whitney before and it feels
01:17:23
like this is we're entering a new age yeah you know you know we we you know
01:17:29
people will I think this this will be you know mean a real a time like a time
01:17:35
early in the history books yeah a shift in how people act and how people behave
01:17:41
when it's all over yeah this is gonna be a definite shift yeah you know they may
01:17:46
they'll call it before coronavirus after coronavirus you know I mean wow yeah
01:17:52
PCV yeah I usually I do think so because um here's the thing it's like it's even
01:17:59
even I think it was in Singapore Hong Kong where they were they loosened restrictions and it's come back you know
01:18:05
so even when we do come out in August if we do come out in August this thing can rear its ugly head also it could change
01:18:13
right it could become airborne because it is airborne I know viruses need to survive am I change it
01:18:20
as something even harsher we don't know and you know this is also a tale of of
01:18:27
there are other diseases and and viruses that can manifest themselves so we have
01:18:33
to now become very very aware of this this is yeah yeah so arm this is a
01:18:38
different shift you know and we're witnessing it we're living through it and that's why we're scared because we
01:18:44
don't know yeah well we got to be safe right like I want everyone to be be safe we're doing our best look Bob and I are
01:18:50
wearing gloves and masks we're doing the podcast limited there's no one in the room but us and Jules who we keep
01:18:56
quarantined right yep in her little cage and you feed her you put little little peanuts little peanuts through the cave
01:19:01
you know Filipina peanuts yeah Filipina peanuts yeah okay look at the camera babe
01:19:07
thank you for being a bad friend [Music]
01:19:22
you
