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hey hey bad friends we're on the last leg of our tour The Greatest Show on Earth Sacramento Long Beach are totally
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sold out then we go to Windsor onario Canada Niagara Falls Niagara sold out Windsor it's right there about to sell
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out as well so if you live in Windsor come see us come to Tucson Arizona in Tucson and the final one Las Vegas
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Nevada Las Vegas that's about to sell out as well uh so come out and see us at badp pod.com badf friends pod.com and
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also bad news good news uh good news good news good news good news is good news is this we did a competition
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that's right about what air comp a t-shirt competition I knew I was going to win I always win and I won yeah by
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how much a thousand or so yeah way more than you so now what I get is a naked massage where you're going to massage naked yeah you get you get a regular massage no we said naked we said naked
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we did say naked you regular massage no naked if you want to see me um pay the piper and do my due diligence uh go to patreon.com friends to see the massage
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patreon.com you're going to get what you want okay Pig you two are bad friends who are these two idiots a white dude
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and an Asian dude you two are disgusting you two are something we're bad friends goop dog goopy gos goop dog
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hello do a song for goop goop goop goop goop goop drip drip drip drip wiggle wiggle drip
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drip drip drip dri it's the goo I I can't be ladies and gentlemen the goop dog is back in the studio you put the
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mic to your mouth gos this is a mic yeah M I thought I was wearing the mic no no no still near your mouth dude okay
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everything's fine yeah yeah you seem more panicky today yeah because I realized I can't be the goop anymore what do you mean why I can't be the goop
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you don't like the nickname I love the nickname but gwenneth palro is a goop and I'm scared of gwenth P no no two
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they're two different cops yeah quinneth palro has her line of cherry choo choo candles I I
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know I can't be the goop I don't wanty buddy buddy relax you're the goop her is called goop you're the goop Andrew we should give him the opportunity to make up his own nickname [ __ ] let's just try
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let's see what he comes up with f goop what would you like to be called I like the goop cuz I didn't have to think of
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it yeah I know so can we stay with the goop or yeah yeah I I do have a nickname but it's it's already taken in the comedy community what is it called I don't want to be it though okay yeah can
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I say something yeah this eyebrows thicker this time yeah you grew one out yeah it's a little finger
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congratulations thank you it's un evened out balance no it's uneven it's a little
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it's still uneven it's still uneven but what's the nickname in the comedy community that you're given oh I wasn't given in the comedy community but I
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can't have my out of the comedy community nickname because it's it's Coco and there's already a Coco Coco
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Diaz Joey cooko Diaz yeah yeah but he moved to Jersey so you're you know what I mean you're you're good yeah can you
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do an impression of Joey Diaz he's Italian right he is Italian so hey hey that's
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all I have it's gritty let him do it Go gritty no uh imagine this you smoke a carton of cigarettes in one hour okay and then all of a sudden the spirit
00:03:29
of JFK went to your throat oh wow RFK RFK my bad Robert Downey Jr no I'm dyslexic but RFK who that is he talks like this like this he's married to
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Cheryl Hines but go deeper isn't he trying to be [ __ ] president this guy yeah yeah I'm doing a benefit show I'm
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doing a benefit show for himid oh I can't kid around anymore I'm doing a benefit let's move on I know
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wait let's bring up the lineup of who's on the benefit show for for RFK I are you
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goop yeah is it Rudy Rudy that's the goop dog right there I thought he'd be Asian you
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thought he'd be Asian he did seem Asian yeah shout out to uh the benefit for RFK
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Cheryl Hines Tim Dylan Rob Schneider Bobby Lee uh Dustin yabara yeah and Mike binder yeah Mike binder I gotta say something about this lineup
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Allstar [ __ ] this is star studded [ __ ] you dude this is star studded that's Chelsea Handler it's not Chelsea Handler
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it's ch Budd can I just say may may I defend myself real quick why I'm just teasing no no you can tease all you want
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all right that's why why I'm here yeah all right but may I defend myself a little bit okay
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okay our wait RFK Cheryl Hines they call me together hey Di will you mind doing a benefit for yeah yeah we'll talk to Cheryl is it is
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that a disability we shouldn't be making fun of no it's just I don't know what is is he dying from that no if he's if he's
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dying from it I can't make fun of it if he's not dying from It Anyway Cheryl gets on the phone and she can you do us
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a favor and please do this better I can't say no to her you could spasmodic dysphoria around 1996 One symptom with a rare neurological disorder is a raspy voice no cure could patients can undergo
00:05:22
surgery it's not going to kill him fine not k f we that's his red hair we can make fun of that's his red hair yeah
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yeah you know what I mean yeah he's fine that's his Korean eyes no I love my Korean eyes and if you
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have Korean eyes out there I don't if you have Korean eyes out there be proud sleepy little boy you know who called me
00:05:41
today your mom oh why I swear to God your mom called me I'll even prove it to you no I believe you she rung me up
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what' she say just wanted to [ __ ] link that's weird you know what she said to me what uh Andrew uh you my sneaky
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link she called me sneaky link yeah you know what a sneaky link is you that I'm a side piece no that's not what it means
00:06:00
sneaky link no sneaky link she called me that no you're a problem solver sne sneaky link is a slang term their first to a secret or discreet meeting between two people who are romantically interested in each other she called me
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she called me sneaky link no or she said get a drinky drink I couldn't really make out but I think she
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called me a sneaky link I swear oh that's what she said okay welcome also to the show the goop is this back and also our beloved Rudy jwes Rudy jws Rudy
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Jews looking nice in her Teddy fresh what do you think of the goop so far I like his energy it's like calming and
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chill what color is his energy yeah um orange for some reason what color did you want to say pink you're red I'm red he's Orange what's Bob yellow that's not you can't that's so racist you're right
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you know what your energy is [ __ ] brown poop no poop purple oh I had explosive
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diarrhea before coming here so anden did you really have an upset stomach yeah what's been going on what did you eat I ordered coffee but I forgot to order almond milk I got whole
00:07:08
milk oh you're lactose like I am yeah yeah how are you got how is everybody lactose now it's like a thing that's
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going around what do you mean I feel like a lot of people are lactose intolerant now did you put on perfume
00:07:19
this morning yeah you smell it yeah I can smell from here what is that it's ti2 Bob's perfume I asked wait wait you
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ask where you take you I asked for it on my birthday what was it the Rouge bux oh
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that that one yeah what is it I don't know rou bakaman yeah rou bakaman rou bakaman and you you took the notebook
00:07:41
too no I forgot to get it all right yeah anyway goop how's the response been since the last time you were on our show oh my God uh I 800,000 people saw that
00:07:54
episode I don't even know 800,000 people like it's no overwhelming no one does do
00:08:02
you think we know all of them yeah yeah you guys are 800,000 people saw it but even more people heard it whoa A lot of people listen to it yeah it's I've I haven't gotten that much love in I
00:08:15
didn't know there was that that much love in the world for me it it it was incredible you deserve it don't you feel good it what are you going to do with
00:08:21
your new found Fame uh I I I bought tickets to adult final performance guy June 15th you did that's her final performance in Las Vegas I'm
00:08:33
not going to Germany right wait she huh she lives in Germany no she announced a Germany residence oh oh okay she's going to spend a whole like a a year doing shows just for Germans huh yeah which
00:08:46
sounds kind of who's opening Kanye you like that joke like those jokes dude I got the Goof and then you bought Esther something no yeah we're going to see
00:08:57
Madonna you got you got her the tickets yeah what what second row I heard no it's it's it's a perfect view because it's from she has many stages so we're we're going to be after all the stages
00:09:10
in in the first row so she has like four stages I don't she has many four stages
00:09:15
and you're in first row in all the stages no no no no no um we're we're in a comfortable distance from you know
00:09:21
there's there's two catwalks and then another catwalk in the middle and then there's like a little break I want to
00:09:27
make sure she could see so there's a little break in the middle and and then there's me and Esther and Emily and
00:09:33
who's Emily from The Comedy story book R Emily em oh wow wow I have a feeling when this song comes up you're going to get up and you're going to jiggle your little body there's no madon song that
00:09:45
will make me dle my body like a virgin no the I think my favorite song would be probably Frozen or I like Miley's cover
00:09:52
of uh Like a Prayer oh just like a prayer yeah is like the prayer like you kneel down to suck the dick yeah and yes that's what it's about I know is it
00:10:05
really yes it's about giving head like a prayer is about giving head that's why people were mad about it oh and in a
00:10:11
music videoos with like a black Jesus right remember that people got really mad about that that's before your time
00:10:16
but in the music video people were upset she's like she's like kneeling in front of a black Jesus it's about and I I say
00:10:22
black Jesus I should just say Jesus cuz that's what color he was that's hot yeah and she was sucking
00:10:29
him well he was [ __ ] what's on his face it's like he's crying that's tears oh okay it looks like goop yeah it looks
00:10:35
like goop that's you're there but he's half wooden he's like wooden turns into like goop nut on his face no it's goop
00:10:41
nut no goop nut goop dog what do you think about Rudy have you you do you know about Rudy
00:10:47
on this show I thought she was going to walk in and then she was going to be like stop being a little [ __ ] but like she hasn't done that yeah do you have
00:10:53
any advice to to give to goop Rudy um not really he seems so cute cute I just want to like squish him squish him go ahead and squish him squish meow yeah you're allowed to squish him yeah it's
00:11:05
in his contract that he's allowed to get squished well yeah it is dude you signed it uh uh Paulie squished me and he also
00:11:12
said that he watched the episode and it said it was like watching an episode of Love on the Spectrum and then I watch
00:11:17
Love on the Spectrum and he's not wrong let me say something you got to be careful with that guy why with Paulie
00:11:24
yeah why just be careful dude oh you're saying right yeah you got to be careful you in particular to be careful and when I yeah you'll get scratches hey
00:11:36
scratches you like scratches I got blue blue what BL balls scratch no no have you ever had blue balls scop no but I will call 911 I know that you know you're not supposed to they're not
00:11:47
supposed to be blue they're not you're not supposed to they don't physically turn blue then why do they call that they
00:11:55
don't turn eyes blue what are you talking about it just means when you have like backup of seing in and you like you get close to ejaculating then
00:12:00
you don't and the buildup causes pain and discomfort yeah they call it blue balls have you had that have you ever
00:12:07
had pain and discomfort in your nut sack I have pain and discomfort everywhere like sometimes yeah like uh and you know
00:12:14
you blue shoulders then I just like I have pain in my chest and I have a tingly feeling in my arm called a stroke
00:12:21
this one and the left one is a stroke yeah I just ignore it yeah yeah no we got to go to the hospital dude it has to be three days in a row oh you Googled it what [ __ ] no it
00:12:32
doesn't one in a row is if you feel something T if your chest feels heavy and your arm goes numb you're having a heart attack I thought it meant you're in love yeah it can that
00:12:44
tingly feeling in your chest and then you know you're going to be yeah well you're going to be in love with the afterlife if you
00:12:50
can um goop do goop dog you do you really get tingles in your arms yeah but they blame anxiety with now you're either you're either having an anxiety attack or a heart attack and there's really no difference there's a huge
00:13:01
difference really a massive massive one is one is is from the uh from the skull and the other one is your heart stopping so totally different things one of them is your brain Going H I'm afraid of the
00:13:15
world and the other one is your heart being like no they send the same signals they do feel the same no they don't I've had
00:13:21
panic attacks they don't feel like a heart attack no no and I hope you not have you had a heart attack before no
00:13:27
but my dad actually had a heart attack and also I forgot to say he has up the butt cancer so he he had many things
00:13:34
that he died from not just Co and uh heart heart condition slow down let's start let's let we we'll we'll approach up the butt cancer in a second why do you say up you just mean
00:13:46
does he did he have rectal cancer I think prostate oh yeah there's a lot of them that's up the butt if you ask
00:13:52
me yeah have you ever felt your prostate CPE no but I know that there say that you know you have have to do it but I'm only 27 so maybe when I turn 37 have you
00:14:03
ever put anything in your butt at all no no okay obviously look at me right now okay look at me right now dude okay I'm not judging okay I love you I love you
00:14:18
too and I love you to be honest with me okay we're we're friends okay and I'm going to ask you a direct question okay
00:14:25
okay and I would love you to be completely honest with me okay have you ever had
00:14:32
anything up your butt no dude did I pass I think he passes dude put put both of your arms up in the air I can't I have jigglies no put put them both like this okay all right ready
00:14:45
yeah look will you look at me again hello have you ever had anything up your butt no okay that's
00:14:53
great no no yeah you're not supposed to do this have you ever touched your own butt when you like your butthole like for fun for
00:15:05
fun the hello from the other side yeah I do like Adele but hello from the other I'm scared of my own body why are you scared of your own body I'm not like other people he is a hello from the
00:15:15
other side yeah that's Adele Adele sex is like anal sex hello from the other side that's what the song was about I
00:15:22
bet that or bad reception but or ghosting I don't know it's her weakest song actually I can't believe it's a hit you don't like hello from the other side no no well let's pull up the
00:15:35
lyrics to hello from the other side and I want to see what your biggest beef is with and listen up Adele CU she's a big fan of the show hello it's me right I
00:15:42
hello how wondering if after all was that Carlos like to meet to go say the time suppos to you but I ain't done much healing hello you sing
00:15:57
the next L the fact that you don't like this song it boggles my mind it's such a beautiful you get the next line go ahead
00:16:03
hello can you hear me that one yeah buddy can you hear me no no no s hello you know the how can you hear me I'm in California all right right don't let him do it so know go ahead and go we Rec
00:16:20
recording I'm going to lip synk no no hello hello come on goop hello oh no see if I
00:16:29
could sing I would I would be singing do you want to get a stab Jules okay let's go yeah yeah she can do it
00:16:36
hello can you hear me I'm in California Dreaming about who we used to be see she gave it a shot she gave it a shot people
00:16:48
it looks sounds nothing like an people in their cars people in their cars were turning turning down yeah
00:16:54
yeah just give it a second give it a sec let it's hard you got it okay just repeat after me then yeah hello
00:17:02
hello can you hear me can you hear me I'm in California Dreaming I'm in California Dreaming about who we used to be about who we used to be this Bobby's
00:17:18
version when we were younger when we were younger and free it sounds like a country and free I forgotten how it felt I forgot how before the world fell at
00:17:32
our feet before Oh that's a pretty song so you like it now no okay look she had an incredible record and for this to be the first single off her new record you know it was a bit of a let down
00:17:43
because like all her single from the previous album was better than this you know but I like the second single off
00:17:49
this album Judy you can't even sing it and you're judgy oh I bet I can't hello no no more saying part that part is yeah do you know what
00:18:01
a couch quarterback is have you ever heard that phrase if it's anything like this it's probably not very comfortable
00:18:07
a couch quarterback is someone who at their house criticizes like NFL players if they could do it and they're so like
00:18:14
indignant about it so you criticized Adell putting out that single but you can't sing I can't sing I really can't
00:18:21
sing so you got to give it props it's a great [ __ ] song it's good song okay and it's a banger single why not it's a
00:18:27
good intro so you think if you managed Adele's career you would have put out a different single from that album I think
00:18:32
after being gone for that long maybe that was a good choice but it's not her best song H it's a reintroduction yeah
00:18:38
it is a reintroduction yeah okay you guys win thank you okay thank you so much thank you um I'd like to give you a
00:18:43
gift Mone give him a gift cuz I feel like it's a Midway point right now of his comfortability on the show we're
00:18:49
almost comfortable oh my God got you some chippies bud whoa thank you I just had a big dinner yesterday I had the
00:18:55
lace barbecue which is a classic but maybe I could you know you don't to hold it like a baby it's I like to hold
00:19:01
burritos and babies like like yeah well I would trust you more with a bag of Doritos than a baby for that looks like you care more about that yeah that's also these aren't Doritos you don't like
00:19:13
this this is just restaurant style tortilla chip it's a good starter chip it's start it's a startup chip do you want a baby uh look at me right now do
00:19:21
you want a baby babe I love babies but I hate children exactly yeah so so you could you could steal a baby raise it and then when it becomes a kid give it
00:19:32
away again that's true I mean I really do want to pet I'm Shia I'm your wife I like that that's a pretty name that let's let's do a scene okay all
00:19:43
right and I'm your bigoted neighbor yeah oh Greg hi shashia look what I got I don't see it that that's not impro oh wait stop let's
00:19:57
let's let's teach him wait let's teach him the rules of improv that was improv he didn't see what you had you had to
00:20:03
explain it no but he's supposed to add information and tell me what it is no but he just said I don't see it he can't hold the baby like this okay it's not a
00:20:09
baby okay I'm giv you the ultrasound oh oh [ __ ] okay Greg hello sh good morning
00:20:20
good morning sh look what I got whoa where do you get that from well I went to the I was feeling a little
00:20:30
nauseated and I went to the doctor and and and my doctor thought that maybe I was pregnant and I got an ultra sound
00:20:36
and here we go whoa we're having a baby no way I was going to say we should have
00:20:41
a dog but I guess we're having an Armenian baby and it's furry and it's cute so it's like The Best of Both
00:20:48
Worlds um are you having a baby or are we having a baby no I mean you came inside me remember okay what do you mean okay you were
00:20:59
there but that doesn't answer the question you're going to have it going to have missionary you remember in the
00:21:05
missionary the military remember you were looking at me right yeah just say what you were said you said I'm about to
00:21:10
come I'm about to goop yeah and then right and then right inside me okay and that's what look whoa is it a girl baby or a boy baby
00:21:22
it's a girl okay okay this sex scene between you guys is just like the one in forest scump with him and Jenny they have sex
00:21:34
in forest scump in my mind that's the exact that is the exact same yeah yeah yeah like how many pumps you think two
00:21:41
not even he stuck it in came s yeah slip because he had weighed his all his life
00:21:47
whole life yeah man game 2024 is here in full swing and that means it's time for
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a New Year's resolution check-in with our friend at manscape news flash Bob it's never too late to
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level up your grooming game and keep your bush tamed baby mind you know what I Trimm my bush the other day I love
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could do it alone if you'd like I do it alone do you yeah and I I I do 4our sessions wow it's incredible dude blue
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blueo for sponsoring the podcast let me say something to you okay okay we're family whoo no don't wo it okay never woe it that should feel nice
00:24:36
you don't have anymore this yeah I drove by Forest Lawn on my way here and I thought of Carlos why why cuz I passed
00:24:43
by all my family members yeah oh they're all at Forest La yeah how many do you think uh I think uh there's four buried
00:24:49
together and then two buried together and then two buried somewhere else and then I might be missing a few what with
00:24:55
the two that's buried somewhere else on Forest Lawn how come they get and not closer to the we have Prime real estate at Forest
00:25:00
Salon for your family I'm sure yeah we have some great spots not my family are you Forest Lawn Burbank or Forest laon
00:25:07
Glendale the one that's on the way here do you bring flowers I actually don't visit people
00:25:14
because it's kind of like what's the point but if I do go I would but I'm not going to go you've never been I've I go visit from the funeral every time
00:25:25
someone dies we kind of see the other people but like oh so it's like a and I don't drive I can't eight for one yeah
00:25:33
do you cry at funerals be honest at funerals it depends Rudy when's the last time you cried yeah I think last week but also I don't cry a lot so I forced
00:25:44
myself to cry what did you cry about last week last week uh it was like a cuz I tried to force myself to cry so I read like negative
00:25:55
comments what on the internet how about you that's how I cry why do you do that yeah don't look at negative comments because then I can't cry you don't need to cry does it hurt your feelings when
00:26:07
you read a negative comments sometimes yeah what's the meanest thing that you've read it's mostly just oh
00:26:16
she's no they said I look like a giant blueberry and that's cute yeah that is true though yeah bring up the picture I bring up the picture of Violet from
00:26:30
willly W yeah that's what I pictured funny somebody's got a painting of your face with that fun fun can a great artist please paint the goop as that's our shirt Violet that's our goop shirt
00:26:42
yeah you're turning goop goop wait goop how old are you no I'm 27 he said that he said he's been 27 for over a decade oh he you don't know he looks like 20
00:26:53
whoa who what the [ __ ] he does no he does not yeah when he does not oh I feel like uh yeah connection yeah because go ahead I wasn't special at
00:27:06
classes that's why that's why yeah but there was this one special day where they were enrolling people in honors
00:27:13
programs yeah and I asked my teacher if I could be in honors programs so she wrote a recommendation and they sent me
00:27:18
to honors classes and they send me back the same day back to special ed but in community in in in public schools you
00:27:26
have the choice of choosing can I sometime you would be so hard to teach yeah I'm a good listen I would get
00:27:33
nothing done I teaching him I would just want I would give up first day as a I would want to just chat with them yeah
00:27:39
yeah like I couldn't be I I so did somebody said you have to go to Special Ed I wasn't special ed why I have a learning disability which is what I have
00:27:51
I think it was a mixture of I just can't learn yeah but [Laughter] you're it's hard but you're int you can't learn anything you're intelligent though yeah
00:28:03
I can tell that you're intelligent so it's weird so what do you mean you just didn't absorb school [ __ ] yeah there was
00:28:09
too much going on do you independently learn stuff on your own are you a reader yeah I like I guess I got right here
00:28:14
check this out here we go I I think you're undermining yourself and I think that you have information common
00:28:21
knowledge that we all know and I'm going to ask you some questions and this is going to prove a point yeah okay okay to
00:28:27
your best of the your ability you know I mean why did we attack Japan with the two bombs Nagasaki and Hiroshima what led up to that those were the bombs
00:28:42
names no those were the two those are the two guys two guys the two cities that we bombed Hiroshima and Nagasaki it
00:28:49
sounds like it's like the Olympic celebration uh when they h i what led up to that though here we go come on come
00:28:57
on goop I don't have Japan knowledge I don't even know a Japanese star um I don't know uh I think he's right yeah he could be right give me another historical common knowledge everyone
00:29:08
would know I think that one was pretty easy let's see what Rudy says yeah yeah yeah yeah go ahead Pearl Harbor PE exct PE har you know what Pearl Harbor was yeah that movie right with Matt came
00:29:20
yeah and it's private Ryan's or something fictional movie har no no no that was about Matt Damon that war was
00:29:26
started over mat yeah yeah what this the Civil War by the way two gos two goop Chuckles for me I
00:29:32
got two two uh goop dog the Civil War yeah was between The Who and the who the what and the what the indan and the Cowboys proba you better believe it you better believe it the Indians and the cowboy you see the Indians and the
00:29:46
cowboy yeah and it's being civil whose team would you have been on I would have to be the Cowboys because I can't pull
00:29:52
off skirts and uh feathers and like slits I can't show wouldn't look good I have my mother's legs but still yeah yeah yeah yeah I mean you would look good with those two like little gun
00:30:02
holsters yeah you would look good with that and with the bullets over your I'm wearing jeans you know yeah that's what
00:30:08
they all wore yeah Rudy I want to know for a second um about how life is going because uh we're getting a little worried about you well my Visa expires I
00:30:18
know I know what's going on so I have to go back [ __ ] when uh June how can we help
00:30:26
this we got to we got to help this how do we do can we write a letter to somebody no I can just renew it it's
00:30:32
just a but you have to go home before you renew it yeah you can't do it here no right so what if you go home and they
00:30:37
don't let you back I know that's why I'm scared cuz they can do that they can deny it I'll be so we have to do
00:30:42
something I know I'll do whatever it takes well I mean number one she's a she's a public figure a personality on
00:30:49
our show what if they hate my yeah they could no no they could yeah yeah they could and I keep saying I hate white people yeah yeah what your your your your Visa end date
00:31:02
is in June you have to go home you have to schedule an appointment there and then they may or may not let you back
00:31:07
yeah cuz I heard from um my cousin cuz he had a tourist visa when he was young and it expired and then he went to an
00:31:15
interview and he didn't they denied it this is different though you you you you you're going to college a student visa
00:31:22
yeah that's different than a I know but the student visas run out when you're out of school ask this guy but you're still in school right how many more
00:31:28
years I have one more year so they can't deny me though no no they they actually can they definitely can what well
00:31:35
because you're you're only allowed a Visa for their you don't they don't give a [ __ ] if you finish school or not
00:31:40
they're just saying you have to finish it in this amount of time we've given you then you have to reapply so she's got to I mean we might not let you back
00:31:46
in or you can get married your boy he can come through dude yeah but he he's scared of his mom cuz his mom's really religious so what they don't want she doesn't want you wouldn't they want you
00:31:59
to get married then if they're very relig no cuz she thinks we're still young so you are you are you are but
00:32:05
you're Filipino he's Filipino yeah but you got that in common would this be somebody you'd marry for real in the
00:32:11
future yeah wow wow holy [ __ ] how how long so if he asked you to marry you right now you'd say yes not right now no if he said will you marry me but down the road and give you like a what is it
00:32:22
a promise ring that's scary but yeah wow she would do it it's incredible congratulations
00:32:29
yeah you love have you ever been in love before this no no have you ever been to love
00:32:37
goop no well yeah but not real people yeah what have you been in love what do you mean not real people ottoman or
00:32:42
something imaginary love Yeah Shakira Shakira imaginary thing you've been in love with people that don't know you're
00:32:48
in love with them yeah yeah it's kind of like a stalker like unrequited love no it was young love you know what's young
00:32:54
love that they don't know about no no no no Young Love Is when two people are very young and oh they get infatuated
00:32:59
with one another it's a that is a phrase that's a that's a you were just young when you fell in love with yeah yeah
00:33:05
it's like the guy from Florida the bork killer yeah the guy that yeah bork's dead no he's not dead but there was a
00:33:12
guy who was so obsessed with Bor it was a real thing he had you can still see his YouTube videos yeah he went to
00:33:17
Wicked like 24 times or so no yeah and he um that you know back then he there was no like internet I guess so he went to Ricardo Lopez yeah Ricardo Lopez this guy so this guy so
00:33:33
scary I know so he went to a [ __ ] I'm Not Gon to say it but that doesn't what is he that doesn't not look like goop no
00:33:41
no that doesn't look like you it doesn't look like it no so he so look this is how scary this so check this out he goes
00:33:47
to a [ __ ] you know a bookstore and he goes to like the magazine section and he sees that bork is in a photo with a
00:33:54
black guy yeah right wait wait who's Bor bork you don't know who bork is see the
00:34:00
girl right there touching her mouth she was a singer she she is a singer she Whispers she's very talented oh yeah so
00:34:06
Bor took a photo with a black guy so then this Mexican guy from Florida the guy to the right cuz that's the scarest
00:34:13
thing seen of my [ __ ] life right he goes ah no you're you know and he says the n-word a couple of times and it's
00:34:19
like you're you're going to die so you know what he did this is unbelievable this story so he decides to create a
00:34:26
book book okay so he was going to go I'm going to pretend I'm like some sort of like um literary company and I'm going
00:34:33
to propose bork with an idea of like a popup book an interactive book where you can press buttons and stuff that's right and in one of the buttons a needle comes out with
00:34:46
HIV what this this was his plan that was his plan oh plan okay yeah but he didn't figure out how to get I don't know how
00:34:51
you get HIV you know what I mean I think that was a problem I think they sell it at Ralph no yeah yeah yeah yeah but like
00:34:58
that and then he he killed himself yeah you can tell right there yeah no but he he was a lunatic lunatic who who put this on he put this on video which
00:35:09
was the craziest part his YouTube videos are still his monologues it's still online and we I will not support that
00:35:16
don't no we're not going to watch it but if you're at home yeah you can watch it you can watch it at home yeah yeah yeah but it this was like this was a big big
00:35:24
deal it was like a big turning point cuz it's not like we had weird stalkers do crazy [ __ ] in the past yeah you we have
00:35:30
but this was something different there was like a Breaking Point do you remember how it was like such a creepy
00:35:37
creepy and scary scary yeah for the first time it was scary instead of just gross but there imagine you're living
00:35:43
your life you're singing you're doing shows meanwhile you know I mean my ja my [ __ ] I'm sorry you're my ja he bro [ __ ] I'm
00:35:58
going to there it is yeah yeah get some AIDS over here you know mix it with this put a button in has a grocery store
00:36:03
checklist he's like book yeah AIDS got it needle got it yeah yeah yeah is that scary that like there are things going on in the world but you don't stock no do you know where your where
00:36:16
like these people live that's their business but I know when they're on tour and she's not you know where Miley Cyrus lives well yeah I lived close by you know where she lives
00:36:28
specifically not anymore but goof but you did goof what don't don't don't no no you don't I
00:36:40
don't know don't implicate yourself and if you did you would forget you wouldn't do anything no no have you ever made fan
00:36:48
art and delivered it to someone personally I promise you that's exactly what well okay yeah actually that's what
00:36:55
we did but it was funny you know like you delivered to their home yeah well my my brother kept bringing home people and
00:37:02
I'm like what am I supposed to talk about with these people I was much younger so I brought out my crayons and
00:37:07
my construction paper and we all made cards for Miley Cyrus and and one of them was ESL so he wrote I love you
00:37:14
Montana so you know we had a few drinks and then we dropped off the cards and how old were you you had drinks in your
00:37:21
coloring on oh it was I was underage drinking at yeah but how old are you probably 20 20 and you went to her house
00:37:29
no it soundsound well it was fun it was like a little prank thing yeah you think
00:37:35
she was pranked yeah she got three cards yeah I imagine yeah she was like ah call
00:37:43
the cops no he's like you got me you drew a broccoli from my leg that's funny that's funny also funny drawings I know I know it was innocent we're just kidding I come from a good place yeah a
00:37:55
really good place so when you do get deported Rudy do you think do you think you'll miss us I
00:38:02
think I'll miss you guys I don't want to be deported I don't want it either but can I be honest with you you think I'm
00:38:08
going to get deported yes but can I be honest with you are you going to go quietly no no put up a fight yeah good
00:38:14
rip everything I I um don't don't say it out loud cuz it's going to happen I'm going to tell you how I feel [ __ ] face oh okay okay you came with junior year
00:38:27
in high school yeah you lived in my house mhm and I saw you go through it the trials and tribulations of Life yeah and I honestly I know I sometimes I go Dad's here when I call yeah I know
00:38:38
you're not I'm not your dad you know but but it feels like it there there there's parts of me that do feel like it that I
00:38:44
did something to help you I helped a lot yeah and um you'll never be able to repay me but um I mean there's no way you don't know
00:38:55
that maybe she she's on to something but it breaks if you were not let back in it
00:39:01
would break my [ __ ] heart and that's why we have as as a bad friends company seven Eis whoever needs to get involved we have to get write letters to the government I don't want I know please I
00:39:13
don't want to it's not for us oh we'll make them do it yeah yes we will have someone at the company write letters to
00:39:19
the government yeah it'll it'll would honestly your honest opinion you know no no I want I want to hear it out of your
00:39:25
mouth look at her in the look her in the eyes and tell you how you feel about her how about this yeah how about this do
00:39:33
you know that I would do it for you I think so yeah do what anything whatever she wants anything she asked me I would do it she knows that when I call her sometimes and she goes Tito Andrew it's
00:39:44
always a question mark me too cuz she's always nervous why are you calling yeah cuz I should be texting so you have his
00:39:50
number saved MH uhhuh and he greets me happy birthday Merry Christmas I do and when I call you and we talk talk you know that if you could you ask me for anything would I give it to you or get
00:40:01
it for you I think so yeah I would same here I know I'm just you wanted me to [ __ ] speak my piece I told you I no
00:40:07
I'm just there's no one in this studio that I wouldn't do everything for other than mcon yeah me too other than m i
00:40:14
fired you yesterday dude what are you still doing here people do hate that your head is behind their heads I have
00:40:20
heard this that people go what is that [ __ ] guy's head lingering behind the heads yeah Carlos or fancy keeps him
00:40:26
close and Carlos by the way we we should give a little bit of credit if we're going to bounce around the bad family room uh is sober now for over a month
00:40:35
over a month very good you look better thank you yeah yeah you know what it is honestly Beyond look better I can tell
00:40:40
that you're functioning at a higher level now I can feel you feel better about stuff when we text at night and
00:40:46
stuff I can feel you're more like uh uh what's the word you're just more like involved and aware I also texted you what did I text you give me cigarettes no no today not today not
00:40:59
today not today not today you sent last week what' I say you're doing great but we're proud of you thank you man we're proud of all of our bad friends and we mean that and we don't want you to get deported and we want you to stay around
00:41:11
the goop for a long time we're proud of all them and fancy we'll talk about it later yeah Morgan andg is 2024 now so
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I'm probably not going to be able to do that one what's going on in Phoenix I'm doing standup live with who I'm just going to headline so you're going out to
00:44:22
do weekends again just one I'm not J I'm just interested is this because we're prepping for something no I just can I
00:44:30
be honest with you well that's what we're here for okay it wasn't even me wanting to do it
00:44:37
well then you could say no no but I know but it's like you know who I'm talking about don't say her name yeah right she
00:44:44
was insisting that you do it yeah and I'm like okay I did it for her I get it okay
00:44:51
uh that being said I will announce that I'm putting together 10 Club dates to cuz I'm ready working on my hour good so I'm going to be going out where do you want to go I've already got it we already have them I'm not locked into
00:45:03
the all of them you're doing clubs I'm doing clubs I'm doing clubs Friday two Friday two Saturday shows to work out my
00:45:09
hour what I'm doing got a good amount of time that's great but are you going to film it don't be that guy what's that guy
00:45:16
arrogant what you just said was arrogant no I just said are you GNA film it didn't you I have you know I don't have the technology or the equipment to do
00:45:22
that all right so don't be that guy right you don't have to recording shut the [ __ ] up what you can just have
00:45:28
someone record you see what you're doing here I'm asking you a simple question are you going to be filming an hour at the end of this run I'm doing one
00:45:35
weekend I thought you were going to start doing shows on your own yeah I got one weekend yeah you've won in the books now that's it show run a short
00:45:43
run that is equivalent to the amount of running you would actually do a little quick jaunt you know the
00:45:50
honest truth is I prefer staying in town I like doing his shows I like being around my friends I like being in town I like is goop also a comedian he used to be he was and he and
00:46:02
he's going to get back into it at any moment we can feel it because get you got to get ready for Long Beach I can't
00:46:07
I I will die I I barely made it to here buddy no you have to do it you're going up on stage at Long Beach no it's not even that big of a deal it's like 5,000 people it's it's like a baby less than
00:46:20
800,000 you're doing it too you know that right huh oh yeah yeah you're coming out you're coming out I can't do
00:46:25
that one please you yeah you do I can't I can't why why why can't you do it cuz I'm why can't you do it cuz I'm one of these away from a heart attack no you're not you're [ __ ] doing it stop living
00:46:36
in fear bad friends has no room for fear it's it's next week it's next week there
00:46:41
have plenty of time plent I I literally almost died today and I'm going to die tomorrow too you're not going to die I'm going to die I promise you don't have a
00:46:48
choice to literally anyone I need more time I need time don't never call us again I need time can I share a video
00:46:54
too yeah please this is something I want you to be a text to me Rudy Rudy texted to Carlos this is something I want your
00:47:00
judgment on Bobby because you're somebody that is into fighting you love professional fight I love fighting and I want you to take a look at this uh this
00:47:07
fight here and tell me if this was a fair fight yeah so far pretty good pretty good fight pretty good fight so far and it and it's mostly and it's
00:47:17
mostly kicks which is strange no one's thrown a punch well not one punch has been thrown no shoulder shot you can do
00:47:23
a shoulder shot yeah no arm barring going on here yeah wow no no takedowns I think takedowns that' have to pause it yeah if you're just listening we're watching a video two men fight without any arms uh in the cage and it's it is
00:47:36
pretty remarkable it's remarkable and pretty good kicks going in no head kicks though yeah now do you think you need an
00:47:42
arm to get all the way up to and wait look who won look at this ready and and the winner is get your arms up
00:47:50
there yeah you know what I like to see you know what I like to see the twole guy fight you know what I mean a two arm guy I would rather see a I would rather see a fight with two guys without legs
00:48:02
would be way Doper to me but can you yeah that'd be cool just two guys just big arms no legs yeah going at it yeah
00:48:08
stump town what's this video that you sent what is this let's see what this is yeah
00:48:15
Bobby you're in the Australian news we made the Australian news oh wow no I'm in it you sent this I sent it no let's
00:48:21
see let's see it Bobby Le who gets an instant reality checked when he claims that Korea didn't oppress people or have slavery but can I but some societies
00:48:33
like Koreans they might have a God complex but they don't have a history of Oppression oppressing another group of
00:48:39
people each other right are you out of your mind what the you don't think Asians had they didn't oppress Koreans
00:48:47
Koreans didn't have slaves we didn't fly did Koreans have slaves yeah Google that
00:48:53
yeah cuz I think that's wrong doc laugh somebody built them pyramids it wasn't just somebody like pyramids Korea had
00:48:58
the longest unbroken CH Korea had the longest unbroken chain of slavery of any society in history spanning 1500 years off that's not what it says Zoom it in
00:49:11
my eyes are blurry go I want to read it all right read it out loud you get close all right Korea had the
00:49:20
longest unbroken chain of slavery of any society in history [Laughter] holy you guys are
00:49:34
scumbags I just love that he's not a lefty by the way I'm not sure where he is on the political Spectrum but that
00:49:41
was hilarious Nat to Lefty losing it in Lefty heart this is weird is this this this is Sky News yeah it's not like Fox it's like Sky News but she's doing lefties she probably a lefty commentator
00:49:53
a righty righty com commentator she must be but Sky News I thought was one of these kind of apolitical news thing
00:49:59
right we made it under the news in Australia I know incredible [ __ ] rad yeah wait till we go down there and play
00:50:05
those shows maybe we'll make the news again mate yeah and you made her laugh look at you she was laughing she was
00:50:11
laughing at you guess what yeah I make a lot of people laugh that's right goop that's right goop we make a lot of
00:50:16
people laugh what's this Rudy want and guess what next week in Long Peach make a lot of people people laugh that's whether you like it or not that's way too s oh God Rudy what is this is this a
00:50:28
real ballute is this ballute oh my God oh my my God God I'm actually going to throw up because I can smell it from here yeah yeah yeah what is it playing with a br it's
00:50:41
brother is that another one in there oh my God that's so you'll just eat that yeah oh I'm going to throw up turn it off yeah yeah but I've been craving that yeah I you know what that's why we'll
00:50:53
Deport youed you're getting deported yeah yeah yeah that's wait can I share also my other yeah
00:50:59
craving it's like this dried fish but how they do it is they ferment it as long as possible until you get worms out of it till it gets infected yeah well they
00:51:12
say once you have the worms it's like it takes out all the bacteria it's maggots
00:51:17
yeah maggots and then you take out all the maggots and then you eat it and you put
00:51:23
tomato sauce and everything you need sauce yeah you definitely need a tomato sauce this is it Lau la la no no no it's
00:51:30
called Uh tinal yeah but you have to spell that t t i n a b a l tabal but it smells like [ __ ] like bad [ __ ] okay all right okay
00:51:49
but it's wa wait wait zoom on zoom in those those aren't worms on top of that's probably some no they take it out they take it out so this is post maggot removal uhhuh yeah yeah wow it looks
00:52:01
okay no it does not yeah no it does not it doesn't it's good okay that's what I've been craving too so you really miss that and Ballo a lot mhm well when you get back there are those your first two
00:52:15
meals yeah yeah that's so funny that's like I go back to Chicago and I just want an Italian beef and she goes back
00:52:21
she gets maggot fish bro bro that Italian beef remember you gave me that the best dude you changed D you know can
00:52:27
I say something yeah you've changed my life in so many different ways you changed my life in so many ways no but in terms of like Foods same I'll tell
00:52:34
you what that Italian beef give you another one give me another one that you've inspired me well you tell me I
00:52:39
don't know the eggs with the [ __ ] baked beans oh my God hello I know goodbye hello and come on back yeah I'm
00:52:47
all around I love it I love it too you and me we've introduced me to to do new dishes in Korean barbecue that I've
00:52:52
never had before and you've introduced me to music Warren zon yeah yeah hello hello goodbye goodbye
00:52:58
ain't coming back come no not coming back yeah yeah coming back what else dude you've given me you we've influenced each other in a wonderful
00:53:04
beautiful I love you so much man you're my best friend I really do love you so much I love you more than I love anybody and um and I mean and I mean that and
00:53:10
I'm saying that doing the podcast with Adam get [ __ ] I knew this was leading up I'm not
00:53:17
I knew it was baiting I'm not I'm not no but you do you really have you know you changed my life who's changed your life
00:53:22
uh goop someone not not Miley Cyrus but of like somebody in your life I think he was going to say myy I know he was so is
00:53:29
there anybody in your life where you go wow that guy really if I didn't meet that guy in the right time that guy or girl change my life change your life I
00:53:36
like my brother okay y did your brother change your life yeah what has he done for you that really stuck stood out uh
00:53:43
he pushed me to go into improv and learn how to play nice um uh with white people
00:53:49
and then that was the first step and then I I took you got to play nice with the white people yeah yeah that's where
00:53:55
I learned yes and actually I failed improv they made me take it again I took 101 twice look at what I got here
00:54:02
Ambiance what what is this that's a b that's a MRI it's ultrasound ultrasound yeah well The Improv paid off yeah for sure
00:54:16
M but but no that was very nice goop you say whites as if you don't appear to be
00:54:22
a little white yeah you look white goop what thank you I well I'm it's not a compliment yeah but I'll take anything as a compliment okay it's funny you that day that you
00:54:34
did the podcast you also sent me a photo did you not yeah is that the goop dog that's the
00:54:41
goop okay so by this photo we can tell you're you're not 27 how that van is from the [ __ ] late 80s early 90s Yep this is really good zoom in on the
00:54:52
license plate I want to see the registration year oh you know what that is what does it say I know what that says 84 84 so you were born in in what is it 78
00:55:03
or 79 how old is he here he's probably how old are you here probably two he's about six years old there no I I'm I'm practically standing five five
00:55:17
five look him five he's three or four three or four yeah give or take so um 8 you 1980 you were born what a cute baby
00:55:24
man congratulations still a cute guy GRE but now we found out you're born in 1980 is
00:55:31
that I'm trying to figure out if you guys think I'm younger or older than I am I don't I'm still doing the math
00:55:36
you're 43 yeah you're 4 no I'm like God no no no no no no I'm getting the [ __ ] end of the stick it's so funny I want to
00:55:42
show I want you to watch this so this is a guy named Charleston white who is maybe one of the
00:55:48
most prolific uh comedic internet personalities I think I've ever seen in my life and the guy in L of course is is
00:55:55
Cam Newton who's a football player let's hear what he's got to say simp I have a list of names describe each person using
00:56:01
the first word that comes to mind Will Smith gay Jada Pig Smith [ __ ] up [ __ ] how would you approach a woman
00:56:15
like Britney oh you got to handle a rough oh you got to be you got to be a dominant dominant man to deal deal with Britney Britney Ry when you say Ru you're not talking about
00:56:28
domestic violence R yeah [Laughter] yeah take me down so what do you think about Charleston's answers there is every relation needs someone one of the
00:56:41
two people need to get their ass whooped is this cat Williams's nephew no this is
00:56:46
Charleston white baby he is his own entity do you think in a relationship there needs to be one person needs to
00:56:51
get they ass whooped how do you feel how do you feel goop no no no not in a relationship that's willing if you guys are in it
00:57:04
will you ever hit as a kid uh I'll answer that please goo were you struck as a child did your did your dad hit you to be continued which is the camera
00:57:22
there all there's a cameras okay oh you were that to be no no no no no no no that's actually that's a bad place to be
00:57:29
continued no never were hit not NE no no I mean like they weren't like you know abusive at all but they yeah no uh I had a different growing up situation because
00:57:42
you know anytime they were sick of one of the kids you know like like I mentioned before like I had like three
00:57:49
ants and a grandmother living in one four apartments and then the house in the back so they could just you know
00:57:54
anytime they're sick you they just pushed you another apartment yeah they they play a game it's it's called Uh it
00:58:00
translates Ro Loosely they the the mother or whoever's sick of you will send you to someone else's house and
00:58:06
they ask do you have it it's called D brma yeah which means hold this child and do not let him go and that's how they would get little breaks from us oh so then they would just pretend to look
00:58:18
for things and then just keep us occupied but they wouldn't hit us I want to play D brma
00:58:25
would you love to play Duke brma like if you had a baby with your wife you could Duke brma and me I you
00:58:32
you are the baby to you you send them over to Bobby and you think I would give you the baby to watch
00:58:38
for a while just because no I just I thought I get to your house no okay no no no I'm not we're not going to play then this Duke it's a fun game this is emotional sabotage yeah yeah it's
00:58:51
terrible Duke bma's bad it's bad that's what I meant sounds like a torture technique no you just basically look at
00:58:57
cabinets forever and wait for for them to find an imaginary thing and then when enough times has passed then they grab
00:59:04
any random thing in the house say oh I found it and then they send you back off to your parents did you have an imaginary friend I did was the imagin
00:59:11
out of spite we talked about that right didn't we did we talk about that Shakira oh no no she's not imaginary yeah yeah
00:59:17
yeah she's real yeah no I did have an imaginary friend and I think that it was it basically had a span for one day
00:59:23
because my parents had enough because I cried because they sat on her and they said this is too much but I think your
00:59:29
parents sat on your imaginary friend yeah and I just made a whole big thing that's abuse that's that's your
00:59:35
parents are pretty abusive at times emotionally emotionally that's abuse what did your imaginary friend look like
00:59:41
it was a girl I I was mad that day I think I made her on purpose yeah yeah human though yeah yeah I didn't know any
00:59:48
other kinds yeah yeah yeah no but he means like what did she look like yeah do she have like a little horn I mean as
00:59:54
an imaginary friend you he can pretty much we only spent a day together I wish I yeah you don't remember her that well
01:00:00
yeah not that good of a friend then huh not a not a great friend yeah yeah imaginary acquaintance yeah yeah okay
01:00:07
where was your favorite hiding spot when you were a kid I would hide well I would
01:00:13
hide because I would have to poo but I didn't want to poo so I would hide behind a tree and then just like poo there yeah okay that's where we went to the bathroom that's not I guess I I
01:00:24
guess I regret really a hiding spot that's my hiding spot that's where you pooed you don't you don't hide where you
01:00:29
poo that's what they kept saying to me that's the old friend don't [ __ ] where you sleep but you hide where you poo
01:00:36
I I think that's a great hiding spot Rudy can I open my present yeah wait wait wait wait who gave you a present the goop the goop brought fancy a present but not the two guys that put
01:00:48
you on the show well technically I book him you speaking of the mic first of all
01:00:53
technically I book him technically you you arrange his arrival right we made the choice to put him on the show sure so that gift is ours whatever it is we you know what now we get an extra 100 oh
01:01:06
okay on your sh uh happy to discuss yes no no no no that is actually it that's it no that's more of what is it what's the gift that you were given oh my
01:01:21
God I did it it's OJ's book that's very sweet right professions of a killer yeah we know no yeah that was from what he said at the end of the last podcast
01:01:34
what did he say well because we blamed him for killing his whole family but you really didn't kill your family no no no
01:01:41
okay no you don't have a violent streak in you do you no no have you ever killed anything not even a not a bug spider
01:01:50
well I see I I won't kill it but I I kind of if I there is a bug that I don't want there then like what happens I have
01:01:56
to tell someone else to do it Dy say come kill this please but you live alone so who's going to come kill it now well
01:02:03
my dad used to live up there so now I have no idea I'm going have to be a Bo maybe ghost I hope so oh your dad's
01:02:09
ghost you believe in ghost you believe in ghosts right I try not to I think I have enough to believe in honestly okay
01:02:15
yeah I would I would watch a show called goop's ghost where he's a ghost hunter oh my god' be amazing you'd have to
01:02:22
quietly eat chips while you're hunting though you don't want to scare the ghosts oh they'll find me for sure put the chips down maybe okay no no no no I
01:02:30
it's been an hour of it yeah it's an hour of you holding that yet so goop you know what you're in for you're coming to Long Beach and you're doing the show no
01:02:36
yeah go ahead and tell everyone thanks for being a bad friend thank you for being a bad friend not
01:02:43
[Music] smile you're the one that's getting naked that's you're getting naked too that's what oh my God you are both no you're getting naked no it said you too what are you talking about D you're
01:02:55
naked no you're naked too dude it says both we [ __ ] made a teal dude roll [Music]
01:03:22
the