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hey we're going to Australia you that is such a good accent Dan andite Dan andite
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Sydney Brisbane Auckland Melbourne Adelaide Perth and also adding shows
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we're adding shows we're adding shows we're adding seats bigger theaters bigger theaters we want to see you guys so come buy our tickets come see us go
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to badf friends pod.com badri pod.com and also at badri merch.com we have this
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beautiful shirt designed by this kid yours I love this album but I always thought the the baby should be me and it
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is you now it is me now it's a little baby Bobby it's a legendary album and I think you should get this shirt so go to
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bad friends merch.com badf friends merch.com you two are bad friends who
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are these two idiots white dude and Asian dude you two are
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disgusting you two are something we're bad friends this is not this is not a
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play you know what I mean this is not like you got to get in the costume your feelings I mean this is I'm playing me
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Bobby Lee yeah this will go in the show you know here's the thing you don't want to wear your own merch because right now
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I don't because it's his town If he if he said hey as an option I would have
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done it who said that this guy but if he was he forced it like yo sew those Nikes
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back in the sweat shop days that's what he said you know what I mean like Kathy Lee gford attitude attitude made those
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kids SE those Nikes yeah yeah sew those Nikes I'm Not sewing Nikes for you white man Bobby would you wear your not
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anymore that it's over now that that's over going make money off by we're going to sell it
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out we're going to sell it out you're doing white eyes on me yeah
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I'll do white eyes all day to you dude we're going to sell them out all right buddy all right bucko cuz you love the
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whites huh Okie doie bucko your attitude too I come in here
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dude frown face negative you I mean aggressive not nice projecting
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projecting exactly you're projecting it onto me no he's saying you're projecting it you're projecting onto me your bad
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energy dude what did I do what did I say you earlier I was
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sitting there you go what do you what's your Vibe about or some some aggressive thing what did I say I
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forgot I didn't like it oh welcome back Rudy
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Jud we oh we love you my God it's family coming home it's so long it's been so
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long and what you been up to where have you been um I lost my passport and
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Visa so you came crawling back to bad friends can someone please get me passport and visa when when does it run
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out I don't know cuz it got stolen so I'm basically illegal oh so we can call somebody right
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now and get you in trouble yeah call I'm calling call Daman you know Daman from
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ins can you can you phone on them no it's got to be email that's not
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efficient no wonder we got so many illegals in this country hey forget about it forget about it all right so
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who stole your passport who do you think stole your passport where did you get it what nothing go for it you blame me why
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would I blame you who stole it who stole it no I was I was just going to say some
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like random say somethingand how did you lose it what day did you know it was gone it was on June 3rdd it says it got
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delivered by the front door and then when I I arrived at 5:00 p.m. it arrived
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at 2:00 p.m. and so when I arrived at the house I just saw the envelope already open whose house at his house no
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your house your house someone stole it no that's not a Filipino
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passport he's sacrificing his own yeah wow that's that's good immigrant dud
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that's good immigrant stuff dude yeah so we're going to what are you show throw it to me are you showing off you know
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how funny that is that you're close wow dude does this me wait
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oh this is mcon damn dude that's such a bad photo that is such a stupid photo of you I you
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know I'm going to be positive I haven't seen it yet but I love you dude I want to be positive I'm going to be real with you dude all right take it
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out so good dude honestly how many tries no tries no tries you said the first you
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said the first take was good they only give you one try mhm yeah yeah dude let
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me just say something what do you know how to smile on command
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no this was no he was like one half
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yeah I'm a CO I'm from Minnesota I'm an
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American how do we get back your passport I have to appla all over again I have to apply for my tourist visa my
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student visa and my passport well we're we're going to try to help you here sounds like you need us more than you
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ever thought yeah yeah but can I just say something yeah go ahead why is it so unfair that for a Filipino passport you
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can only go to like certain countries and for a USA passport you can literally
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go anywhere USA USA us that's why bud
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that's why bud we have a good chance we have a good chance you can't chance Filipino
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Filipino it doesn't work but I want to go like where do you want to go like to
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Europe no they don't want you though that's the problem they don't want you they don't want you baby we have enough
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what we have enough we have enough yeah yeah yeah wow that seemed a little too real but do they have hospitals in
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Europe no they don't no well then they don't want you yep hotels and hospitals
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even to go to Japan I need a visa for Japan yeah yeah yeah the Japanese are weary they're weary of you and why
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wouldn't when you're weary feeling down when tears are in
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that's the Japanese oh that's not even Japanese why we there it is when you're
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we we feing aside when a tear in your
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eye right I don't know the rest very good thank you so much what have you been up to you nerd are you still dating
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that guy yeah he is yeah I me wa and we [ __ ]
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already Jesus Wa dude that's an easy way to say it like but why did you buy
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another oh God [ __ ] what are you talking about lady you was cleaning you bought
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three more jerk machines mhm wow why like I I I'll tell you why and you know
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I I i' I've been at okay so check this out okay Western Bagel just listen to
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what I'm saying no listen to my logic here I know sex to no no they don't they don't just let listen to my logic okay
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Western Bagel Noah's Bagels right there's a bunch of bagels places I go
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every day different varieties every day different right right cuz I like a change and I like different you know
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companies that make certain things so my my point is is that you know you don't watch just one
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movie right like if I watched a quiet place day one a thousand times that' be
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bored you know that's a day a thousand for me right this makes sense it makes complete right so I okay what I'm saying
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is I like a variety of things and I'm going to tell you this too I found the brand that I'm going to stick with I
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found my diet coke I found my diet coke wow yeah yeah so clap for that and and
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that was the reason why I know the brand and I found the thing is because I tried all the other ones right and I compared
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kind of like you kind of like you you tried girls and guys and you found what you liked now his is machines he likes
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sex machine I love machines he's a big machinist Lola that's what her name is I named her yeah Lola and I kiss I was it
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first and they kiss it I go good night Lola and put it yeah does it respond
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by so anyway you're you're you're what are you now what are you done with
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school no I'm already a senior in college oh that's great God and I graduate next year amazing oh my god
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dude that's so weird on this show the course the show you went through college I was in high school when I started you
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were a senior in high school here when you started is that incredible yeah and now look at you now you're old and
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Haggard you do look older you do look older yeah you do you look Haggard yeah
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when I first saw you I thought it was Kila K what you and oh Rudy I'm not
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kidding yet that's a compliment well okay depend on who yes yeah so um anyway
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you do look older and your face I can tell what stop you're going to say I'm I got fat no you're never going to get fat
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no yes you will I know yeah I know yeah but your I can tell now
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the evolution of your face and it's going to get scruncher and scruncher and it's going to be like a [ __ ] box like
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like yours yes I have a scrunchy face yeah
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okay and I I'm that hurts so bad but I be so nice to her because I want her to
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come back so you're right I have a scrunchy face okay I have to ask you something you have a girl that cleans
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your house that isn't this girl what are you doing I I need reposition yeah you
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have a girl that cleans your house it's not this girl and somebody cleans your house and
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you gave her a bunch of merch from the fully loaded to
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her how do I know this how do you know this do you know how insane this is yeah how do you know this dude this is such
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like this the world is so small oh my God so my cousin who you
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know his friend is staying with someone who cleans your house that's not that's
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not what happened he sent me a text Mage and he goes Bobby gave away all his fully loaded merch and he and her bed
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was a display of Osos poor O that's not what happened yes it is I'm
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going to tell you how that happened how happen Okay number one you get when you get a gift bag you don't want all of it
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m so I Puck it start over when you get a gift bag right you
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don't okay I picked the I picked the ones I wanted and you gave the rest to so there's two things I wanted all right
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the you know the the Apple ear headphones great great great the little
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button I like it right there was a neck thing where it blows air into your neck love you have one of those yeah they're
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the best they're the best they're the best okay and then the rest I was like I I don't need it so you gave it to that's
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not what happened so I called Janna she's my emergency right so she's my
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number one but lately she doesn't want to clean my house anymore you don't you
00:11:12
you it's you it's you and you know it no I keep it's you and you know it and let's let go let's go past it all right
00:11:18
it's you and you know it let's go past it okay but I love you like a family
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okay but you I can tell you don't want to do it as often and it's fine so I've had to resort to other things I have
00:11:30
Hispanics right so that's my number one two good my number three is Jenna she
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sounds white but she's not right she's not she's not Mexican thank you kept in
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the Hispanic family then exactly so why' you exclude her from Hispanics because there's two different
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kinds right right and she goes I can't do it but because I'm seeing somebody
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yeah and she she keeps saying how nasty my house is MHM okay because of Ming oh you know
00:12:02
yeah pees on everything right right and Jen Jenna goes I can't do it so then she goes I have a friend you remember bloop
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bloop and I go I don't know well bloop bloop is available I go who's bloop bloop and she's like well she's
00:12:16
trustworthy she comes over now I had gotten the box from the BR thing and I had you know when you get a box you
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don't fold things you do this yeah dig through it you dig through it and I throw right I'm digging through it right
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oh earphone dick neck you know dig dig so it was like an ID went off in there
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she comes over and I go you got to organized she goes oh and I go but you know what just throw it away she goes uh
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well I can take it I go you want this stuff great stuff by the way great
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company Os Os yeah OS whatever porosos right great company and great tour and
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great people I'm just not going to wear it because you know I mean and I want to promote liquor right mhm right smart
00:13:00
very smart let her promote it so she goes she took it all yeah and that's the last I thought I would ever hear from it
00:13:05
until now it's amazing how the world goes around isn't that crazy how small the world is C the other day you know
00:13:11
what I ran to your family yeah you did I'm at a coffee shop right and then I
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hear hey I look over it's your a family member of yours it's my sister yeah I
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don't want to you can say my sister your sister I have a sister yeah and her hunky
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[Laughter] I'm be honest honk machine he's sharp
00:13:37
just like the Northman right you just standing with a [ __ ] Alfred coffee right hey hey I go you know and I when
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I'm around guys like that I do I do a half hug yeah you do right and I put my hand against her chest I
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go right just to have the leverage yeah unless they get so they if they get
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aggressive right just in case just in case see my mom and my dad I saw your mom I saw your wife's parents too mhm
00:14:05
and it was like I ran to them did they tell you yeah I ran to them as if they were my own family it's very sweet hugs
00:14:13
you did give a lot of hugs I heard I hugged everyone okay people were shocked to see you in public my mom was like
00:14:19
Bobby goes outside that's literally what my mom said does Bobby go outside often I I
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know because when you because when you're dating people they want go outside you have to go outside you're
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like I don't want to go outside and they're like well then I'm going to see somebody else so I go I'll go to the
00:14:36
beach or whatever it might be I've been doing all kinds of weird [ __ ] you're outside I went to Universal I did the wind machine what because of her you
00:14:44
went to the you went to Universal Studios I took a class and everything I was sitting in a class
00:14:50
taking notes about like what to do and what not to do like you're not ready to do the flips and the rolls put your hands out like this feel
00:14:57
the air you know what I mean and then all the symbols of like I mean the hand gestures of did you really fly yeah I
00:15:03
flew but my point is is that when at Universal City the mall you got suspended in a vacuum machine it's not a
00:15:11
you didn't fly go ahead no I don't do it go ahead
00:15:16
you starting it yeah gu guy I'm I'm going to tell you this right now dude and before there were jokes before there
00:15:23
were jokes okay this is not a joke okay I will not do your
00:15:29
[Laughter] this is not a joke this is not a thing in fact anyone listening right now when
00:15:35
you watch his zombie movie you will not see me in it because of what he just said just now that's right all right I
00:15:40
will not I refuse to you fly beautiful no no
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you you can't you can't it's over anyway I did fly I'm a flying machine you saw
00:15:53
my family and got coffee it was nice my really nice to see everyone was in my house for Fourth of July it was a little
00:15:59
overwhelming I'm not going to lie when you have a lot of family yeah having everybody over at your place is tough it's like one and everybody wants
00:16:06
something everybody wants something and you don't want to you just what do they want give me the three things they want
00:16:12
I I'll be the guy food I'm I'm your assistant okay food we'll get food I don't have an assistant let's just say I
00:16:18
am food call me [Music]
00:16:24
um just Jiminy hey Jiminy
00:16:29
boss boss hey boss hey Jiminy hi Hi boss what I have my notebook why is your shirt still on oh sorry boss I was you
00:16:36
know I want your shirt off when you walk around the house bud I know I I know but the marshmallows the marshmallows you told me to put on my body right I mean
00:16:43
you already licked them off so I just thought I could I ask you to get new ones why do you think I want you to go to the grocery store you supposed to put marshmallows all over your body every
00:16:49
day I'll be right back boss thank you look at my little stay puffed
00:16:54
marshmallow man hey boss I got the not pack what where your family need here
00:17:00
food food if food f o o d food good yes
00:17:07
alcohol lots of alcohol yeah that one you can't spell
00:17:13
can you good yeah that's good yeah I know what that means the a yeah yeah yeah
00:17:18
yeah and then c b c three sunscreen sunscreen oh cuz the
00:17:25
white albinos albinos the Albin okay I I'll be right back bus thank you Jim that's not a lot it doesn't seem like a
00:17:31
lot no that's not it's just that everybody you know you got a host you have to be a host being a host is hard
00:17:36
you'll never hosted your house I've hosted have I not hosted Christmas at the kalila hosted
00:17:43
boom you didn't do [ __ ] I hosted you tried to help that's
00:17:49
hosting how what did he do like be honest be real for once your
00:17:56
energy dude that's you know and look up hosting dude and no don't don't I was just kidding right but I assume that
00:18:03
hosting energy has a lot to do with it you need 60% energy 60% when you're
00:18:09
hosting no how many percentage I have zero energy because I'm you're doing for others the whole time oh I say I I save
00:18:15
my energy for the host and that's why I don't leave the house that's right every year I'll help the host I just save it you help the host but now you have to be
00:18:22
the host cuz you're home I host I do host you're home alone kid I [ __ ] hosting then you're right anyway are gone now yeah uhhuh
00:18:31
everybody's gone and it's so quiet and nice but I had to remove a couch cushion
00:18:36
last night because my dog had anal secretions all over the couch cushions oh our dogs do that I hate it so much
00:18:42
fish Butt Fish butt it stinks it's the worst why dude it's a brand new couch
00:18:48
why what she she she's only done it when she's like in her little bed or something but for some reason she jumped
00:18:54
on the brand new couch the fireworks are going off for the 4th of July and she was
00:18:59
cuz she was scared I know dude but SC be scared in the bed secrete on the bed now it's all over the couch so what what'
00:19:05
you do with the I got fish butt couch I set it on fire no you didn't I burnt my house down because I because of Ming and
00:19:11
the pee I'm fingering I I I want I want to know what I I have to do okay so I had to call the manufacturing company
00:19:17
that made our couch and we just bought it from and they have a special solution that I have to use to clean it you can just spray it no dude no you can't that
00:19:25
[ __ ] is in the [ __ ] it's in the C but dries out and turns into flakes little
00:19:31
fish flakes but doesn't it that's just okay
00:19:37
no it's in there you got I just spray yeah I think that's the right thing yeah I don't even wipe I just spray and that's why people are coming over saying
00:19:43
this is gross you it's pretty gross yeah you need to clean this up but isn't I want to ask I'm being real I
00:19:49
haven't Googled it yet isn't there something that comes over with equipment and just [ __ ] clean your couch yeah but that's a but that's like a big deal
00:19:55
that's like a whole couch clean that's like a you talking about when they uh when they uh when they yeah want that
00:20:02
someone did that to your other couch TI Bobby don't you remember yeah Stanley Steamer you got a Stanley Steamer over
00:20:09
there but let me tell you something yeah I got a I just am learning about you know it's called expressing the anal
00:20:14
glands of your dog you have to express the glands when they clean them did you do it on your own I did like you went in
00:20:21
I was in an I was I learned how to express online wow what do you have to do well wait what is that is that it
00:20:29
yeah wait a minute go back that's it yeah zoom in did you do
00:20:36
that cuz if you're not doing that you're not doing it well see I oh you use your penis I you don't use your
00:20:43
penis wait wait wait seriously is that really it yeah that's it because it said
00:20:48
on this one thing that I read that if you just put your lips up to it and you just go oh yeah that
00:20:55
yeah yeah look at what a dog's face look look like when you have to open up its tush look at how embarrassed that guy is
00:21:01
I know look at how embarrassed that poor guy would they wear pants guy yeah it's not our fault you're naked dude I know
00:21:07
you guy yeah I learned how to express the anal glands it sucks let me see if you were expressing my anal glands I want to see my look yeah look at what
00:21:13
your face would be look yeah same look side by side what do
00:21:20
you think I do yeah it does suck so you did it on your own yeah we fish but we
00:21:25
got that fish butt gown you have to we tried it with our dog but it was too
00:21:31
hard it is hard but the woman who does her grooming she's going to come and she said she's going to do it this end of
00:21:36
this week but what is because of stress why H why did they do it dogs have it for all sorts of reasons some people
00:21:42
people at home send in your suggestions of why your dog has fish butt some some dogs cuz they're stressed some dogs get
00:21:47
it cuz they're old some dogs aren't expressed enough dude what if fish get dog butt I thought right what if fish get
00:21:54
dog but when they're stressed out yeah they might yeah yeah interesting they really might in the in the ocean yeah
00:22:01
but we can't get there to smell it mint mobile oh my God you know when
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additional taxes fees and restriction to apply cement mile for details no they have you ever seen a chicken's butt wait
00:23:32
what a chicken's butt yeah what it does the mouth the it does that what do you
00:23:39
mean let got lips whoa what is that no not that just a tiny one is that a sack
00:23:45
what is that what is that a hemorrhoid yeah it's a swollen yeah no go to a regular one do not a [ __ ] swollen one
00:23:51
that's the chicken's butt that's it what's wrong with that but looks like a butt no I'm just saying in the Philippines we would like phpp chickens
00:23:59
here we go here we go what happened Philippines with chicken butts cuz we had chickens and then like my uncle
00:24:04
would like show us like oh look at this and then he would grab the chicken and he would
00:24:10
like on the butt and then blow on its butthole yeah and then the lips would and then the butt would be like a lips
00:24:17
like do that I know can I just say theoretically
00:24:25
though I think all but holds when somebody's blowing does that well come here let me try no I don't we've done
00:24:30
that before right yeah yeah yeah but uh like look at the chicken's
00:24:35
but but who's the first Filipino dude to do that and this got have been going on for centuries yeah yeah some guy had to
00:24:41
try it the first time look at this this is a Filipino girl this what happened to you blowing a chicken's butt let's see it let's see so okay I
00:24:49
want to do all the people okay that's that's the no you got to get
00:24:54
rewinded yeah we want to see it we watch the blow we want the style for you Victor no okay here we go all
00:25:02
right okay okay that's that's the yeah oh I see it's doing it it's
00:25:08
doing it now yeah yeah yeah I see it okay so you have to blow on it okay watch okay no don't zo come
00:25:18
here oh oh it did an extra thing that's you guys have toys whoa whoa whoa whoa
00:25:24
whoa whoa whoo dude that's incredible that's like a popular thing in instead
00:25:31
of [ __ ] Xbox you guys have that in the Philippines and you're wondering why you need a passport to go to Europe This
00:25:37
is why that's what you guys do huh why can't I get into Japan and Europe because you guys blow in chickens
00:25:43
[ __ ] you lunatics it's lunatics that's insane to do that that's a fun
00:25:49
game it was until now that's interesting I wonder why the chicken does that their
00:25:55
butthole yeah well it's ready for something I know I wonder what happened if I put my penis in there look he
00:26:02
kissing me blow me kisses but also can I just say something what a large butthole
00:26:07
for a bird well it got big oh yeah yeah it stays tight but it gets
00:26:13
big what have you have what have you been doing have you been blown in butth holes nothing just work where are you
00:26:19
working now still at school you're working at that school yeah I thought you quit that job I'm still doing it can
00:26:26
I just say something wow you work hard at at work right I'm the
00:26:32
best you're the best right yeah it's such an easy job and I'm getting paid for it oh so mine's arduous and
00:26:38
rough yeah it's like 10 times worse why cuz you have to move you have to clean
00:26:44
[ __ ] you have to do everything yeah okay that sounds worse that's fair that's fair yeah now is it also that you like
00:26:51
that school job what is it though it's it's at the bookstore no it's Administration office yeah you like it I
00:26:57
bet it's it's just so easy it's just like you don't do anything not do anything how many do you get
00:27:03
recognized a lot no but it's like the chairs of like
00:27:08
departments and then watch bad friends the chairs yeah they know about bad
00:27:14
friends and then they're like old people and they're like are they nice to you yeah they're nice not old old what's old
00:27:22
50 yeah like obob not old not old look at me dude 80 is old well don't do that
00:27:28
don't shake your tits that's a do seem old you did yeah but they they know the podcast
00:27:37
they well that's good and do do you get do you blush or you like do you step into the rooll I blush oh you do and I
00:27:43
just like try to hide what color are you when you blush I'm still yellow and
00:27:49
brown just more yellowy Brown yeah yeah what I've what I've enjoyed about
00:27:56
you over the years you've got more confident though in every area of your life cocky even yeah yeah CU you used to be like so
00:28:03
timid like we talked about the one time you sang that song at Christmas and you cried yeah I don't think you would cry
00:28:11
now I don't think so yeah yeah but it took a while like I was so scared of you you came out of your shell yeah yeah
00:28:19
you were scared of him for a long time why I'm just a little guy cuz you have so much energy I do it's like
00:28:26
overpowering very overpowering energy I get it well when you sleep for 15 hours you store up a lot of
00:28:33
energy he's like like a Pokemon he's just waiting to explode anyway you have
00:28:38
no summer plans you're going to work all summer let's give you a gift to go somewhere where where do you want to go
00:28:43
where do you want to go can you just pay for my surfing classes or when they import you back to the Philippines learn
00:28:50
there that's also true yeah yeah yeah when they kick you out of the I don't want to go back let me tell you something Buddy Donald Trump's going to
00:28:56
get in and kick you right back to where you pal he's going to win really there's no doubt there's no doubt now no doubt
00:29:03
so Joe Biden lost a tooth in the last week he just like tooth
00:29:10
fat got falls out of his head yeah yeah it's incredible it's crazy can I ask you
00:29:16
guys something yeah not politics but anything else that yeah what have you guys heard of
00:29:23
soaking I keep seeing it on Tik Tok are are you soaking
00:29:29
no do you know what it is yeah why are you asking about it do you not know what
00:29:34
it is I kind of know what it is but I'm asking you guys cuz you guys are older we're OG's we know what soing is dude oh
00:29:42
I invented soing I get so tired I can't pump anymore so I go let's just soak for a
00:29:49
while that's Mr soak right there I'm so dog dude yeah 2020 dude soak dog so you
00:29:55
have someone to have you ever so wait wait wait let me stop stop what do you
00:30:00
think soaking is because you she's right she's talking about a bouncer what you're talking about a
00:30:06
bouncer oh yeah yeah bouncer bouncer yeah you need oh I let me check your ID
00:30:12
wait I thought I thought soing was something else no you do know what soaking is but when you put it in you let it soak you need someone on the
00:30:17
other underside of the bed to push up someone's got to be someone's got to raise the roof I I see right yeah yeah
00:30:23
the Mormons do this and Brad Williams my legs won't touch the ground anyway um
00:30:32
yeah so what so why are you doing this no I just see it so much on Tik Tok but what they show on Tik Tok what do you
00:30:37
mean what like like they go to like a Mormon like school and then they ask
00:30:42
like these um like college students like oh do you know what's soaking oh so what is soaking on Tik Tok it's when a couple
00:30:52
yeah they don't have sex MH they just do that like on the position on the bed the
00:30:58
girl is doggy yeah the guy is standing and they're close and then there's
00:31:04
another person who's doing the bouncing or like that's not soaking no soaking is
00:31:09
when you put it in but you don't move yeah it goes in and doesn't move look it up on [ __ ] what do you call it yeah
00:31:15
yeah so soaking is where you put it in and you don't move that's what I think soaking is right well I just learned it
00:31:21
this week yo but that's that's not you're learning it wrong it's not getting your information from Tik Tok and YouTube man all right we'll tell you
00:31:27
the truth truth on YouTube yeah I looked at them in PornHub all right stop let's
00:31:32
not talk about well can we yeah no not no all right anyway anyway we're not going to show it anyway yeah um soak dog
00:31:41
you're wild dude you're wild right now you're [ __ ] problem here sexual practice on Wikipedia yeah I like edging
00:31:47
my favorite I Edge and I soak sexual practice of inserting the penis in the vagina but not subsequently thrusting or ejaculating report reportedly by using
00:31:54
some members of the Church of Jesus Christ latterday Saints LDS Mormons uh they don't it's not common but
00:32:00
obviously it's enough to be on Wikipedia so clearly wait wait wait wait the Mormons support it then no they just all
00:32:06
do it and they just stick it in and then they I mean what do they say to each other we be
00:32:12
soaking oh Joseph Smith was a known Soaker oh really I think when he found
00:32:18
the tablets he was soaking oh really he was soaking then he was soaking back then who he been soaking yeah yeah my
00:32:23
dog been soaking yeah anyway um well
00:32:28
that's what I've learned are there other things things you've learned you know what I you know what I soak pans after I've used them that's what I soak okay
00:32:34
pal you perve I soak a pan after I cook in it yeah okay perv perv say it again
00:32:40
Bob perv what else have you been learning um I've learned on Tik Tok
00:32:46
about rat Boy Summer rap Boy Summer rat like rat Boy Summer yeah what's a rap
00:32:52
Boy Summer it's like car it's like Carlos's face like what like okay now
00:32:59
we're getting I'm I'm getting on like that's like that's like Carlos yeah you do kind of look like a rat Carlos and
00:33:06
that's like trending right now like white boys who look like I thought it was handsome and they're like really
00:33:15
like attractive to girls so who's a good rat Timothy shal those guys from
00:33:21
Challengers I mean the guy the guy in the back legitimately looks like a rat but he's so hot let me guess rap boy a
00:33:28
rap boy with Lionel Messi rap boy no not a rap boy okay I'm just throwing it out there he's too old it's a mouse he's a
00:33:35
he's a mouse very good so uh is Pete Davidson a rat Boy Summer yeah he's rat boy why why him it has to be like their
00:33:44
bone structure is like like they're so skinny and just like that kid uh what's that kid Barry
00:33:50
kogan he's a rap rap Boy Summer yeah rat Boy Summer you're not a rap Boy Summer
00:33:56
we're [ __ ] old we're rat men we're Splinter you're Splinter I'm oh I'm Splinter sum you're Splinter I have a
00:34:01
splinter summer yeah yeah yeah yeah okay these guys are rat boys I see they're so
00:34:06
handsome no that Barry Keegan guy looks ratty too yeah I see it now all these
00:34:12
guys are rats wow yeah that's a rat for sure so it used to be white boy summer now it's rat Boy Summer rat Boy Summer that's
00:34:18
trending but you don't like white boys anyway but that's the thing oh [ __ ] are you starting to like white dudes yeah
00:34:24
they're rat boys wow D I'm waiting for the panda summer cuz at Panda summer then I'm
00:34:30
going to be in and I'll be the red panda summer I'll be in right after you yeah why can't there be an animal that I resemble that's going to have can we
00:34:37
have a summer yeah why can't you guys have an orangutang summer for me I'm just throwing poop at girls yeah
00:34:43
yeah this is a this is a hot trend for you now yeah that's on Tik Tok your
00:34:48
whole life seems to be revolving around Tik Tok now I Tik Tok like almost every day how many hours go to your go to your
00:34:54
usage or whatever and see how many hours you're on Tik Tok on average a day does your generation go to the movies yeah me
00:35:00
and my boyfriend go so what have you seen with your boyfriend um the studio
00:35:06
gibly one boy in the herin it's like a re yeah but still she
00:35:12
went and saw it something to do um inside out how cute was that you saw it
00:35:18
no I want to go see it looks so cute I like the first one they're all great everything they make was at Pixar they
00:35:24
always they don't miss they don't miss they don't what's your favorite one what do you mean they don't [ __ ] what are you shaking your head at there are a couple
00:35:29
misses give me a give me a Miss they nowhere Cars 2 they're nowhere near as consistent as they once were the good
00:35:35
dinosaur the good dinosaur Miss they made two of them they made of them I
00:35:40
know you ever saw I never saw the first I saw cars the original I didn't see the first it was so cute yeah OG's good yeah
00:35:46
what's your favorite one I know mine of all time of Pixar I mean bring up the
00:35:51
Pixar movie so I don't cuz sometimes I'm confusing Pixar with what's the other one Dreamworks Dreamworks cuz they do
00:35:56
the same [ __ ] I me my I'm going to look at the list my number one Wall-E yeah I know my number
00:36:03
one for real and my number two is probably the first Incredibles yes insane you didn't like them no I did but
00:36:10
I'm just saying Toy Story is is the goat of all goats it's the greatest [ __ ] story ever told that's a good one yeah
00:36:15
okay and Finding Nemo home run a [ __ ] okay here's a Miss you're right Lightyear stinks monsters yune amazing
00:36:23
okay there's a lot of bangers although I'm not a Ratatouille fan but a lot which one with the fish was like where
00:36:28
am I that's all of them that's every movie no there was one with where Ellen was Finding Dory Finding Dory Finding
00:36:35
Dory that's one right that where am I that's a followup okay that wasn't as good I like that one Nemo
00:36:42
okay Luca that was a Spanish one right Italian same same yeah close up yeah oh
00:36:51
loved I mean the we talk about it we talk it's it's too good it's too good it's the best of all time was great and
00:36:58
you know what even though she's red I know no one like Brave I get it yeah that's the junk that's junk one well
00:37:04
it's proof that red people can't lead a film they can't no I know I'm looking right at it yeah neither can there's no
00:37:10
Korean leads on there either Bud yeah there is man which Korean film that they made the fat guy from up he's not a lead
00:37:16
the fat guy from up kid he's Filipino he's Filipino bring up the fat
00:37:21
kid from up he's not koreano he's not Korean yeah he's Korean look at him no he's not
00:37:28
look at look at he's first of all if anything do you have any kimchi look at
00:37:33
that face that's that's that's fancy he's Spanish for sure there's no doubt you think he's Spanish for sure 100% you
00:37:40
don't have one then huh you have Mulan that we have the whole movie Mulan that's not Korean I know but it's Asian
00:37:46
no you got to have Korean Koreans can't lead redheads and Koreans can't lead that's why we're doing this [ __ ]
00:37:51
podcast for so long I you're right you're right we're stuck wait what is this turning red turning red and then
00:37:57
there that short film B turning right what do they drink a beer what what is that about she turns into a a furry
00:38:03
monster yeah the guy again that's me and you yeah I never saw I never saw that
00:38:08
did you see that that's you and me dude that's literally our movie I'm going make artwork with that yeah that D that is 100% us why
00:38:16
haven't we made that artwork yet somebody online make that that couldn't be obviously more us that's
00:38:22
insane that's us that's bad friends
00:38:28
that's real good all right so you you I will give you surf lessons for the summer that's fine Mone has to go out
00:38:33
there and film it and surf with you though cuz I want to see it I don't want to pay for something and not be able to see it I want to know that you're out
00:38:39
there doing it and you're trying oh so MCO is going to surf with me no he's just going to film you surfing because I
00:38:45
want to see the progress I want to know you're doing it and I'm not going to [ __ ] go to the beach okay I can't go to the beach can come with me and surf
00:38:53
no he can't film and surf oh you like Mone good guy right yeah
00:39:00
yeah that doesn't sound good yeah yeah I like him he is nice he'll he'll go out there he can't surf no you can't swim
00:39:08
MCO I can swim dude you should see he's such a bad swimmer he looks so dumb when he swims yeah he flails his arm we don't
00:39:14
have oceans yeah have you have you been watching the worst roommate on the second season no why I just not
00:39:21
interested what do you mean I just it doesn't appeal to me roommates yeah what
00:39:26
do what you like about roommates I don't have any you've never had roommates in your life yeah I want to try having
00:39:32
roommates when I stopped having them you have a roommate no like my age and then like fight with them and just like go
00:39:39
crazy I want to try that okay or like if you no you it'll drive your crazy you should get someone your own age you
00:39:45
should live with someone your own age cuz my friends they had roommates and it's always like chaos yeah because there's always there's money and Cohen's
00:39:52
got roommates how many roommates do you have I have three other roommates and you hate them I'm tired of living with
00:39:57
other people I know I I get it D are you making enough money now that you don't have to live with other people I
00:40:03
actually just got the keys to a to a one bedroom are you serious so we got you a one bedroom
00:40:09
mhm thank you yeah that would be the nice thing to say I had a roommate Kalisto Hernandez kilo's full name was
00:40:16
Kalisto no no Kalisto Hernandez him and I lived in Silver Lake together right
00:40:23
and he was he he was this kind of guy now back back then I wasn't on mad I was
00:40:29
a struggling Open Mic comic what year is this 90 97 six seven yeah you're not
00:40:34
going to find him on online so Kalisto Hernandez we would walk into a bar and
00:40:39
women this is how handsome he was women would just walk up to him and just make out with him without not even
00:40:44
introducing him was he an actor or something no he was just like this Hispanic guy that was very handsome back then where did you find him I met him in
00:40:51
San Diego back in the day doing he was an actor we were kids we played chess so he was an actor yeah
00:41:00
how do no he's one of those okay he's one of those guys where I always told him I go
00:41:06
he's good at everything but not great so he was in a band he was an actor he then
00:41:12
one day was like I'm doing oil painting you I mean he was like one of those guys he's a jack of all trades master of none master of yeah that that jack of all
00:41:19
trades master master of none but I used to tell him I go dude just focus on acting you're a good-looking you're a good actor suon a play Balo was good you
00:41:26
know what I mean but he would what no he wasn't yes he was no he was I mean as as
00:41:32
a kid I remember buying tickets and going to the B with you in San Diego and watching him do this Hispanic play and
00:41:39
he walked out I was like and he had a bunch of kind of Hispanic lines I was like oh that's pretty good magusta magusta whatever M Maga you me he came
00:41:46
out yeah and I was like oh he he has a future boss boss they playing they playing they play they play yeah and then um we moved up here and he just was
00:41:53
FOC and too many women he so he was hooking up with to many chicks he had no I could I've never seen anyone with no
00:42:01
money dirty right but get so many I got
00:42:06
I got nothing so I get on Mad TV right so I
00:42:11
move out and then he goes hey dude um my dream is to open up
00:42:17
a skate store he goes he goes can I have money I go you know what I'm going to help you with your dream I gave him 10
00:42:24
grand right and then I walk into the state skate SC store six months later
00:42:31
and I pick up a shirt and I go umy D I want I want this shirt he goes okay dude that's $ 39.95 whatever and I go dude I
00:42:38
gave you he goes I know but that's not you know I'll pay you I go but can I just have it he like no no no you got to
00:42:44
pay $ 39 you're right so that's the first thing what so funny that is that's
00:42:50
hilarious would that make you mad yeah so I go all right here's 39.95 right so here's here's what really made me mad
00:42:56
mhm the shop closes and my brother was working there at the shop right it closes then a year later he found his
00:43:03
dad on like ancestry.com or something he was adopted in Mexico his dad was super
00:43:09
rich and then like a year after that his dad just died his you know right and
00:43:15
left Kalisto hundreds of thousands of dollars right what where's your 10
00:43:21
grand then three years after that I run into him I go dude I heard you got the you yeah I drank through it
00:43:27
he's alcohol yeah nothing oh man and I just was like yeah [ __ ] you
00:43:33
dude I love him I love kalist though I had a roommate yeah so then then we go I
00:43:38
had a roommate who who swore like lived and died by the book the game from Neil
00:43:45
Strauss you know who that you know what that is dude I I know you remember that book dude I met Neil Strauss huh George
00:43:51
is like that George read that book he looks like a guy that read that book he was obsessed with it dude that validates
00:43:59
everything I thought about George dude dude I read that book I read the book right not one girl I I all the tricks
00:44:06
and then I did a I did Mancow in Chicago Neil was on the show with me and I looked him in the eyes I go you're
00:44:12
[ __ ] garbage you book didn't work [ __ ] man I got nothing but some people it worked for George for people that it
00:44:18
didn't work for George either no no he failed i s failed so many times for people that don't know Neil Strauss wrote this book called The Game and it
00:44:25
was basically a way that of neing it's the secret to negging truly it's like pretending you don't
00:44:32
care kind of insulting girls it's neing them so one of the things in it is you know I mean if you see a group of girls
00:44:38
at a bar and the one you like right don't pay attention to her right right be nice to the other three right and
00:44:45
then kind of rip her apart a little bit Yeah you that hairsty is 80s huh and then go back to the girls right right
00:44:51
supposedly that's going to get their juices flowing it doesn't work they spit in your face well the key I had a girl
00:44:56
spit in my face is to be goodl looking then he works all there it is [ __ ] him up no no don't
00:45:05
leave [ __ ] him up just beat his ass I was how many [ __ ] Slams are you GNA do this [ __ ] episode dude how many
00:45:12
slams it wasn't about you H it wasn't about you I'm tired it's late it's like you
00:45:18
know what I mean so many slams dude that's a lot of slams a lot of slams dude I'm saying Brad pet is doing it it
00:45:25
works you're the slam King today yeah this roommate I've told you about this guy so he read the game he was incessant
00:45:31
about the game a very interesting dude he owned vending machines lucrative no lucrative yeah
00:45:39
dude but the back of his station wagon would have boxes of chocolate and potato chips in it and in the summer the
00:45:45
chocolate would melt in his trunk it was just [ __ ] insane dude and he would just have cases of [ __ ] so he had he
00:45:52
bought these vending machines with a with like other guys and he would go around and he forget to fill them up and then he had a guy that came stayed with
00:45:59
us for a while one of his closest friends and he won a Toyota Matrix in a gambling in like a Texas holdom
00:46:06
competition and then they kick it the best part was one time I came home this
00:46:12
kid was Maniac what we had shitty old carpet this this was a this was a dog [ __ ] apartment in Culver City and we had
00:46:19
carpet and one time I came home and half of the living room carpet was ripped up all the nails were like ripped out of
00:46:25
the floor and I was like what are you doing and he's like there's hardwood floor under here man and I was like okay yeah yeah
00:46:33
yeah well you have to [ __ ] fix it he's like no way man I'm gonna get this that landlord that woman I'm gonna get
00:46:39
not what was her name n I'm gonna get her to [ __ ] do the floors I was like no you're not dude you idiot now they're
00:46:44
going to charge us for this [ __ ] I'm not paying for this [ __ ] so he goes fine so he ripped all the carpet off and then he
00:46:50
redid the wood floors he had them they looked real good yeah good I
00:46:57
mean it was I mean for how shitty the place was yeah yeah yeah he was dude such a weird animal I came home one night late after being what if you saw
00:47:03
like the a Riddler's Napp yeah oh I would follow it yeah one
00:47:08
night I came home after doing shows and and I smelled something really like I smelled gas in the house I was like man
00:47:14
something smells weird it's like it's gas I go into the kitchen we had an old 1930s those old big stove tops the
00:47:21
burners were on two of the burners super high burning like you could hear it
00:47:27
hising yeah I go to turn it off and I'm like yo yo is anybody cooking yeah I go in his room he's almost naked he's
00:47:34
almost butt naked reading a book with candles all around him and I go dude you left the [ __ ] and he's like oh sorry man
00:47:40
I lit candles yeah this is the guy I lived with for [ __ ] two years okay when I
00:47:45
live with when I live with Kalisto my brother calls me from ASU and my brother
00:47:51
goes dude I'm moving to LA right I go no no no you're not I'm com coming my
00:47:58
brother ends up at my house and he's I go where are you going to live he goes with you so he built this Cambodian like
00:48:04
Hut in my closet he got bamboo from somewhere he built like a little thing
00:48:09
your brother turned into alien Gonzalez yeah and my brother would just sleep for years on this like bamboo Hut
00:48:17
um thing that he built in the ground in your closet in my closet like so I'm laying in bed I I didn't have a um a bed
00:48:23
frame it was just a mattress on the floor you know what I mean and and and I see my brother's like head sticking out
00:48:29
of the closet at night right but then I had this girl I had a girlfriend her name is Amy esakov and I can St talk
00:48:35
about she she was some one I was seeing yeah and she lived with me for a couple of months and it was the worst and your
00:48:41
brother yeah my and my brother right cuz me and Andy me and Amy would start making out and my brother would go I can
00:48:46
hear you nightmare nightmare and with this
00:48:52
went on for years and also then you're like you're also hitting open mind yeah and you're going you know it gets
00:49:00
to a point where it's like I can't do this for another year or I'm going to I'm going to have to quit or I don't
00:49:06
know what I'm going to do yeah it just got to that point and some of us go we do everything we can to get out I think
00:49:13
that's what I did you know the breaking point the breaking point like I got to I got to do something you know what I mean yeah I had roommates for so long man so
00:49:20
then but to the worst roommate ever the show is four episodes you know what it is yeah and and these nightmare roommate
00:49:28
situations and they're really interesting dude they're really fun to watch I mean it's endless the amount of stories yeah I mean first of all I
00:49:35
shared a bathroom with a couple one bathroom with a bunch of other guys oh my God it was like a [ __ ] it felt like I
00:49:41
was in a hospital bath right bath yeah you should have seen it dude it was
00:49:47
disgust it was repulsive people would come over like we'd have parties like girls would come over that parties and
00:49:52
girls would wouldn't want to stay cuz they had to pee but they didn't want to pee in our bathroom it was so [ __ ] oh no one cleaned it they don't have
00:50:00
the no not everyone is a rich little Filipino immigrant okay yeah yeah not everyone is spoiled rotten don't you
00:50:06
just need a brush and then water and then just brush and scrub it sounds easy
00:50:12
it sounds easy but it's not you could you don't want to pluck another man's pubes off the [ __ ] right if I lived
00:50:20
with you i' see red pubes I'm not going to scrub that off and I shed I shed like
00:50:25
a golden retriever these things fall off all day long yeah there's a freckle on like I don't know can get you know
00:50:32
what I mean it'll be a nightmare I get off the couch there's pubes and freckles everywhere yeah yeah and a little bit of
00:50:38
sunburn would you wouldn't be a to live with me right would I be able to live with you yeah a two bed yeah in a 50,000
00:50:44
foot house no but where we have separate wings but do you think we could live though a year think about it easily at
00:50:51
this stage in your life a studio apartment right two beds studio apartment one bathroom sounds like a
00:50:57
Japanese game I know two many one one a bathroom I studio apartment I know but
00:51:04
do you think you could do it oh no because because of how we are now yeah years ago no I don't think we could do
00:51:09
it now we could day four we would be at it we wouldn't see each other oh that's
00:51:15
right you're always on the road oh we I would book myself on the road we'd be gone yeah it we'd be fine yeah and then
00:51:20
um you know what [ __ ] it I think you and I should do at least we should do a year of living together yeah for the sake of
00:51:25
the show you think if we if we have a final season of this show it should be you and I living together but I bring my
00:51:31
three cats and you bring your dog fine see what happen love it in one studio apartment I think we should add more
00:51:36
dogs and cats it should be oh four dog like a doct do little
00:51:42
situation I see I'd love that yeah like have we call it arc Arc the ark yeah all
00:51:49
the animal the Covenant of the Ark yeah that would be we would we we' be dead you need to get yourself some roommates
00:51:54
and learn you have to learn those kind of things yeah those are like the building blocks
00:52:00
of life of learning to go through the [ __ ] of like dealing with other people's that you didn't replace the toilet paper
00:52:05
why did you buy you know what I mean the the all that [ __ ] you need to learn cuz now you're just getting anything you want from kalila yeah and I [ __ ] I feel
00:52:13
like I don't say what I what I want to say so I feel like if I had roommates
00:52:18
I'd like learn from that did she make you pay any money for stuff just my own stuff like what like your cell phone uh
00:52:25
no t Bobby for you still pay for that [ __ ] cell phone yeah rucking money
00:52:32
yeah oh yeah I do don't I but at you my [ __ ] house then so what do you pay
00:52:38
for of your own I don't know at K is always in Hawaii so I pay for like my
00:52:43
food and like so she's never paid rent she's been to America ever okay it's American Dream yeah and then you my
00:52:50
Prius you you drive right how much did I charge you for that 3,000
00:52:57
500 what an innocuous number why did you charge her that I don't think I did charge her just give it to her I don't think I did charge her you did you paid
00:53:05
him for that mhm how you know when the car broke and then I had to pay for it
00:53:11
and you said you pay for it and then you have oh so that's how I paid for it yeah it got fixed yeah fix it and it's yours
00:53:17
okay yeah that makes sense yeah yeah that makes sense yeah that's I'm not going to you know what I mean come on yeah like I would grab a check and I've
00:53:25
never done that you're not going to you're never going to live with roommates you've been spoiled I don't know maybe when I have an actual job and
00:53:33
then leave you are going to and know this for a fact 15 years from now you're
00:53:39
going to be stressed out right you're going to lay down in your bed and you're going to close your eyes and you're
00:53:44
going to think of us I'll tell you what you're going to be like I had it so good then mhm you know what I mean I just
00:53:51
talk on a podcast get it now that you what do you want to be when you grow up now you're going to graduate college cuz
00:53:56
life is going to come at you fast I still don't know you don't have any idea of what you might want to do maybe
00:54:01
something in like Marine Bio cuz I like diving and I like animals so marine
00:54:08
biologist maybe something you got to go to school for that again yeah well maybe be like bubble Gump
00:54:15
Shrimp get a shrimp out yeah you want be when I watch that movie I go shrimp out M you want to be a shrimp B Captain I
00:54:22
mean you can make money though get all the shrimp I just don't want to deal with shrimps why all right well clams no
00:54:29
there's other things down there right other stuff scallops you go scallop SC SC scallop hunting no I want like whales
00:54:37
you can't hunt whales I'm not going to hun dick I'm not going to hunt them no what
00:54:43
I'm saying is is that well you just want to observe and like write down you know what I mean oh the scallop you know mean reproduces every four she wants to she
00:54:51
wants to be my octopus teacher yeah oh that's what that there's no money in that I know we you to get a shrimp out
00:54:57
you please for us yeah for like make some money you be the best at it I don't know anything abouty Jewels shrimp you
00:55:05
don't know anything about shrimp neither did [ __ ] Forest Gump you figured it out you figured it out dude can it be
00:55:11
something like like fun no no life is not fun yeah or you know go up to Alaska
00:55:19
with those boats and do the crab boat fishing yeah dude that's fun would you do that king crab isn't it isn't it just
00:55:26
all like white people though yeah yeah yeah that's usually our thing okay yeah yeah that's that is true that's our
00:55:32
thing we are the best at that no one's better at that yeah then the Japanese not not a k no king crab no you guys are
00:55:39
good at fishing not king crab okay good thank you yeah okay good I said you guys you're not Japanese what am I talking about I mean when you say you don't get
00:55:46
to take credit for them yes I do no you don't I'll tell you why why because then I get to take credit for all the good
00:55:51
white stuff Jan January 6th um yeah and I do give you those that credit okay
00:55:56
okay Santa Claus that's not you we stole it you stole it well success
00:56:03
okay I mean I mean okay you're you're GNA so you're going to be a marine biologist well maybe we'll help you get
00:56:09
to that school I'm still not sure just just that's just what I'm thinking yeah well you got to try something yeah I
00:56:16
just feel like I don't have any interest in anything that's a tough place to be zero interest in anything were you in
00:56:23
well you were interested in we're different we always wanted to be comedy was so was the thing we knew we wanted I
00:56:29
don't I don't know anything how old do you know 22 I didn't figure that out until I was 23 the same [ __ ] she has a year was
00:56:36
that a bit no that's insane it's the same age it's not she's 23 not too long
00:56:42
at 22 I had no idea is what I'm saying so at 23 was like
00:56:47
poof yeah I took an improv Classic on this is fun all right well a lot of
00:56:52
people uh start to think of what they might want to like undress knew what what he was going to do like we don't
00:56:58
even know what he wants to do like what does he do oh he he does a movie that you're not going to beat him yeah yeah
00:57:03
speaking which get your students in here and come say hi go ahead and bring him in here he's got his students with us again are these students from quak yes
00:57:10
he's [ __ ] every year this guy hello hi sit in that chair if you don't mind oh I remember you I remember you from
00:57:18
out there yeah yeah yeah you don't mind put the mic close there to Carlos all
00:57:23
right car hi Carlos that was aggressive what are you doing
00:57:28
dude say [ __ ] sorry oh say sorry or something say I'm sorry for that sorry no don't touch people nobody wants to be
00:57:36
touched back up dude F anyway what is your name uh I'm ve ve wait how do you
00:57:42
spell it VI I Vic yeah you say VEC sorry sometimes I say things wrong no you said
00:57:48
it right it's how you say it's your name Vic ve did you this is Rudy by the way say hi hi did you change it VEC uh what
00:57:56
did your parents name you Victoria see that's what they do what the whites the whites do this that's our thing yeah
00:58:02
like you know you're you're margarate right and then like 20 years later I'm Mar well they would just say Mar Margot
00:58:08
Mar I don't know Maro whatever I'm am or whatever you Vic is cool yeah Vic is cool sorry my bad no it's fine my
00:58:14
friends start calling me and it's kind stuck uh Vic what do you what's you you're you're a Quinnipiac you're in film school I'm not no what do you do I
00:58:22
am a game design and development student hell yeah who I love games that's why you're wearing that that
00:58:28
specific bad friend sweater cuz to you actually I have not played started Valley oh wow no what do you play um I'm
00:58:36
more of a tabletop gamer so uh I play a lot of D and D dungeon and Dragons yes
00:58:43
oh video games like on a table yeah kind of cards on little Marvel no that's a card game it's not a
00:58:49
video game it's a card game yeah I'm trying to get to it it's a dice game it's a dice game with cards there's no
00:58:54
cards there's no cards and I'm playing it wrong you know I'll I'll tell you what about D and D people
00:59:00
a lot of it's in their imagination no yes so you build it in your mind yeah I need to see things I'm a visual guy we
00:59:07
have Maps like my friends will actually make
00:59:12
like full on maps so that way for us can't picture things we have Maps but wait a minute what if somebody makes a
00:59:17
map that you don't agree with yeah uh if I'm a player it doesn't matter if I'm
00:59:22
the GM I can tell them they're wrong you if you're the what uh game master person who's and do you do you walk into the
00:59:29
room I'm game master today um not necessarily it's more of a each of us
00:59:34
have different games you'd run different days I run every other Saturday so you're the GM every other Saturday yes
00:59:39
my friend does it every Sunday afternoon do you have a little bit more of an attitude on
00:59:45
Saturdays yes yeah you're a little bit more a little bit more pointed don't you think yeah yeah like you wake up that
00:59:51
morning you go I'm the [ __ ] GM dude yeah you know what I mean you got a little bit of [ __ ] [ __ ] umping your
00:59:56
step right it's a great confidence Builder it must be to be a GM you get you you wake up excited I do I'm going
01:00:03
to I'm GM today on Saturday GM day what's breakfast for you Vic oh [ __ ] man
01:00:10
that's cuz that's a big [ __ ] day raw egg you eat one raw egg yeah no uh yeah
01:00:15
definitely SL like Rocky like Rocky slurpa y it's a little weird uh it is a buttered Bagel made in the microwave
01:00:22
buttered Bagel that you put in the microwave yes it tastes like it tastes like a soft pretzel oh that I this is a
01:00:28
great idea by the way I do like this no wa I what it tastes like a soft pretzel you just microwave a bagel probably
01:00:34
tastes like a soft pretzel oh okay you put salt on it but it's wet right is that why you wet it yeah you dunk it in
01:00:40
water no you just you just put you just you microwave it and you put butter on it you don't do Water Bagels not do water bag should I have a question did
01:00:47
you like stranger things I watched the first two seasons I did not like how
01:00:53
they portrayed the game wait what how does D and D have do with stranger thing because that's what they like to do oh
01:00:59
in stranger thing yeah okay my bad the whole of the
01:01:04
show did you never see that show I refused okay it's such a good show I told you why right why he was going to
01:01:12
be no just stop stop of representation no no no no what happened was what' you
01:01:17
say is that the four slam what is it four or five yeah yeah what is it tell me what it is I just said lack of
01:01:23
representation lack of representation I don't want it's a boring story it's a boring story G just do a quick ver just
01:01:29
all right so I you know my agent calling me though there's a show called Oni an right or something right oh no monok it
01:01:35
was called monok right and I go talking about squid game no stop stop all right so I go okay
01:01:42
and they go um there's a role and I I go I have to go in I went in I got the part
01:01:47
nice on Mon talk right then they then they called me and they said there are no it's a period piece from the ' 80s
01:01:53
they don't there were no Asians in Indiana or what whatever I don't know where it was right I go okay but then
01:01:58
Andrew Daly got it right that part and then he couldn't do it so they called me back they go do you want it I go yeah I
01:02:05
want to do this pilot and then like two days before I'm up to fly out they go we we're going to give it to a local I don't know something like that they
01:02:12
changed the name to stranger things wow and then drive around had nothing then
01:02:18
right I was so anyway are you happy I said that story I don't want to [ __ ] say anyway vex hi hi so let me ask you
01:02:27
something Vick's Vic it's not Vapor
01:02:33
Rub Jesus Christ that's what I heard I know or
01:02:38
I've never played D and D okay so him and I come over right yep you know me you know hey I'm Eugene that that's we
01:02:44
change our names why I don't know why okay Eugene yeah what's your name tell me my name
01:02:53
Robert okay okay I'm Robert that's Eugene Eugene we're here to play D and we we've never played D and D so what do
01:02:59
we how do we start all right start by making a character all right so you'll be given a piece of paper yeah has some
01:03:06
lines and boxes some bubbles well I already know it Leonard mpai all right um start by I'm Chooch
01:03:14
start by roll's Chooch I'm Leonard mpai all right you start by rolling your stats you get okay I rolled it's a zero
01:03:21
what do it happens okay uh pick it number between three and 18 that's the oh three okay I got a three oh you got
01:03:27
three um so the best way I can do this is do you have any snacks yeah I'm
01:03:33
starving yeah we came all the way here we biked all the way from our house you have snacks I I didn't bring anything
01:03:38
sorry you're the GM and you didn't bring snacks so my group what the [ __ ] are we doing here my group plays online yeah
01:03:45
but we're here we heard you had the best wet wet Bagels in town yeah make us a water bagel we want a wet water with the
01:03:52
butter [ __ ] you think we came over here godamn they're like a right yeah pretzel yeah Water Bagels so you don't have you
01:04:00
already ate them yeah I okay okay anyway so what's up you ate an entire sleeve of bagels without us yeah there's six in
01:04:07
there hey calm down Chooch I got hungry Eugene [ __ ] off oh Robert I mean yeah
01:04:13
yeah oh no your charact anyway it doesn't matter it doesn't matter um so um three is for the lowest you can roll
01:04:21
so I guess you start by what stat you don't want to be good at oh we we we can we figure out what the stats are all
01:04:27
right let me guess physical strength mental strength mity Constitution intelligence wisdom C
01:04:35
Constitution was historian you have to rewrite the whole thing uh Constitution is they better not touch my [ __ ]
01:04:41
Constitution I'll tell you that I don't care if the dragons or the dungeons are involved another way saying is physical
01:04:48
for look at there they are right strength dexterity no magic that's
01:04:54
that's what that's what wisdom or Charisma determine Magic based on your class okay good oh we class I'm
01:05:02
Korean lard monai Korean uh can I not pick that profession more or less okay
01:05:08
well give me the professions uh fighter Rogue monk Barbarian artificer wizard
01:05:13
sorcerer Druid you're a druid for I'm a druid for sure very Druid want a high
01:05:19
wisdom stat okay so I'm rolling with my wisdom first all right I got a three all
01:05:25
right keep rolling thre I have no idea I don't know it's it's weighted or something these
01:05:31
things all right um so uh J Wisdom means you're not going
01:05:37
to be able to cast a lot of spells okay but you but I'll think about them think about it think about the Spells yeah
01:05:44
probably work on uh having a high Constitution because High Constitution makes high hit points and okay what is Constitution you have to go to the gym
01:05:51
it is your uh physical it's physical mental fortitude it's how well you can resist poison how much HP you have oh
01:05:58
Health points yeah how uh how good you are at concentrating on your spells okay
01:06:04
wow wow wow all right so I got I'm going to throw that for that con I want to go home I know D I know I know a great B
01:06:12
she do any [ __ ] Bagels I want I know a great on the way home when we're riding our bikes all right I know it's 45 miles all right yeah so okay so my
01:06:20
Constitution is at a 60 Constitution 16 60
01:06:27
not acceptable why can't I get a 60 seems like so oh your attitude as game master I swear to God D so does feel
01:06:34
like a I am not explaining this in the proper order oh okay when you're rolling for stats you roll four six seted Dice and
01:06:43
you keep the highest three so your numbers will always be between three and 18 so you want to develop games is that
01:06:48
where you're going to school for yes yeah do you have a game you've developed I work I've made a couple of games
01:06:56
that's what the program is usually focused on and then I have another game I'm a tabletop game I'm working on with a couple friends of mine that I can't
01:07:01
really talk about because we don't want to you don't want to leak it yeah talk about the games we talk about do you
01:07:06
like Andre do you like him yeah it's pretty cool cool is not the word that
01:07:12
pretty cool shut up look at your [ __ ] face right now he's okay to you he's nice yeah yeah
01:07:19
he's never said anything inappropriate is he one of your favorite teachers oh I've never had him as a
01:07:25
professor actually yeah well that's how are you here then because I filled out
01:07:31
an application and they said yes they Shi these kids out here okay their parents get rid of them for the summer
01:07:37
this is Camp they get to come out here and have a good time which one are you how old are you uh 21 21 how old are you
01:07:43
22 wow look at this huh look at that you guys uh I'm done you want to go surfing
01:07:49
or yeah do you want to surf we're paying for surfing lessons I'm not much of a surfer okay says whom
01:07:55
says my I'm a figure skater actually oh I've won I think silver in States you
01:08:02
you won silver in state competition in what state Connecticut no [ __ ] that's
01:08:09
huge you are a famous state state champion uh SK yeah that's incredible
01:08:17
you do the little Twirls the Vick's Vapor Rub twirl yeah I like that you
01:08:22
triple axle can you do that no I end up having to leave figure skating because of the pandemic and I haven't been able
01:08:28
to go back what do you mean China took over skating too those [ __ ] those [ __ ] dude wait what do you mean you had to quit because of the pandemic um
01:08:35
they shut down the RS they s shut down the ranks and then I had a coach who was teaching me and she couldn't uh travel
01:08:43
to the state where I was practicing oh because of she was essential so she had
01:08:48
to actually go to work every day as well as will you ever ride again
01:08:55
can we see you slicing up ice ever again I plan to I I tried to get into it at school and
01:09:03
then the day I was supposed to go like for the intro meeting there was a fire alarm and I ran out without my shoes on
01:09:10
and it just ruined my night
01:09:16
Jesus I just haven't got back Vic Vic thank you so much for being
01:09:22
here thank you for being here thank you for having me give Vic a run of that was great you want to get one more in here
01:09:28
let's get one more of the students VI you're the best no one's going to beat that thank you Vic thank you Vic number
01:09:33
one literally number one yeah yes oh we got a brown guy [ __ ] oh this a this
01:09:39
guy's a player dude I can tell dude when I walk in here dude look at him what's up man how you doing yeah yeah Brown guy
01:09:47
let's do ites can I just say something yeah and it's an observation it's a good thing from your eyebrows up it's very
01:09:55
long long what do you mean by that I don't know like like eyebrows like here yeah
01:10:00
just you have a top your head is long my head is long yeah yeah he has a lot he has a lot of hair okay that's that's
01:10:06
just all hair are you are you Indian yeah do you watch Amir Khan's movies do
01:10:13
I watch what Amir Khan's movie yeah like three idiots yeah love that movie I love it too yeah it's one my favorite ones
01:10:20
keep going this is good rude keep going and um dangal yes yes the wrestling one
01:10:25
yeah my favorite that was good Amir Khan's my so hot I just he's
01:10:33
Daddy I mean only thing I know is nonan so keep keep going yeah yeah yeah yeah good mangoli
01:10:40
one of my favorites yeah I like this saled I I just had I was in India like yesterday you just got back from India
01:10:45
get him out of here right now what were you doing in India um look
01:10:51
look look that's good you're going cousin's wedding yeah I just got back how many
01:10:57
horses rode in uh zero no one was on a horse so the the weddings last like very long so I was only there I got there
01:11:04
late I can only go for a week because I'm here so I went I there there was like two different cities they did the wedding in they went in Mumbai and they
01:11:10
went in Goa which is like Southern it's like beachy more tropical M um and I missed the entire Mumbai part of it so I
01:11:16
like that was the actual Wedding part and then I got there for like the reception and celebration dancing all that I I I don't know there might have
01:11:22
been horses I don't know there's got to be horses there had to I've never seen a horse in India what they what do you
01:11:28
mean I've never SE I've never seen an Indian guy on a horse before they do that at weddings all the time okay I didn't know sometimes they ride in
01:11:34
elephants and [ __ ] dude Indian weddings are bananas I've seen this though yeah that's it he loves that um you're like the new
01:11:41
version you're like the upgraded you're like the iPhone 14 of Indians right though yeah like you can tell he's got a
01:11:48
shine to the outside of him monkey man he takes a different plug doesn't he would you would you just call him dude
01:11:53
you just call him a monkey man dude no like the movie monkey [ __ ] dude I was like [ __ ] are you talking about I just
01:11:59
watch monkey man he's like Dev Patel he's like a handome you could have just said he's like Dev Patel call him monkey man dog Dev Patel it's insane [ __ ]
01:12:07
weirdo that guy is really rad yeah I saw this last week you just saw this yeah well so you are like monkey man I yeah
01:12:14
all comes back now um when you get is it going to be an arranged marriage for you for me yeah they that's what they were all talking about at the wedding they
01:12:20
were all joking about it I don't know how much they were joking but do they do that um not as much still no are you
01:12:26
single me yes my parents were arranged they were so did your parents want to arrange for you uh no they joke about it
01:12:32
all the time maybe they're not joking maybe they're not joking yeah but if you would did have an rrange would you do it would I do it that's a good question I
01:12:39
guess it depends but then what if I like I showed up we would make it work I think yeah I
01:12:46
don't know you don't think I could make it work I just don't think so okay he's
01:12:52
kind of out of your league I know you're right you're right he's a handsome man yeah yeah what how old are you uh 20 20
01:12:58
yeah too young so young you're [ __ ] 2 years older what you you like you said
01:13:04
you were a senior right yeah I'm a senior well I will be he's just smarter than you he skipped grades well he's
01:13:09
Indian that's why well while you were blowing in chickens
01:13:14
buttholes he was learning math and science can't be mad at him yeah you had
01:13:20
to skip a grade um I started early your my mom put me in school like four where are you from Connecticut no I'm
01:13:27
from Jersey oh Jersey Boy what okay right straight A I bet no no one b a lot
01:13:36
what a lot of bees have you tried C's every you trying to C I've had some
01:13:42
c yeah yeah what you have a c in they're [ __ ] delicious I think I had a c I had a c in uh in in math no way one year
01:13:50
it was it was um it was pre-cal what did your dad say let me hear what your dad said I'm going to close my eyes and hear
01:13:55
what your father yeah I want to let me hear go ahead he he no I'm I'm I'm you I'm you you're me yeah so you you're do
01:14:03
that right okay yo Dad what's up Dad yeah yeah I'm sorry player uh I
01:14:10
you're not going to like here look at my report card this
01:14:17
own excuse me dad go leave you're done get out wow wow that fast yeah no that
01:14:24
didn't happen he didn't not care he didn't care at all no what a i well from like from like what a switch is your dad
01:14:30
from India yeah so he's not a jersey guy he's not a jersey you didn't do an Indian accent can I do an Indian accent
01:14:36
yeah but do your dad do does your dad sound like that no he barely has an Indian accent anymore he's been here like in America for like 20 oh my bad
01:14:43
some people don't lose it he doesn't have an accent no well the accent comes out when he speaks like Hindi right okay
01:14:48
do you know any Hindi yeah speak some what do you want me to say well tell him he's an idiot and he [ __ ] up and he shouldn't get a c tell my dad that
01:14:56
no this is your son what's your name Arman Arman yeah this is you this is
01:15:02
Arman you're your dad yeah Dad I'm Arman dad why you keep forgetting me tell him he [ __ ] up in Hindi and he should
01:15:08
never get a see what's up Dad what you got to say damn B that's wow did you like that L dude
01:15:17
that was what I was looking for dude wait say that one more time so I can hear it I can do it right now go ahead
01:15:23
hey babe I'm the scat
01:15:28
[Laughter] man what do you think I said it right uh
01:15:34
it was the first word is b goof right of course I did Fast you have to
01:15:40
do your head you have to do your head I do it organically and real do your head go like this b b you got you got Arman
01:15:48
Arman sorry yeah so you want to be a writer and director I do want to be a writer and director I think you're going to be thank you do you have a movie
01:15:54
Pitch to us do any movie yeah and don't pitch me Scarface cuz I know that's one of your favorites yeah is it pitch a
01:16:01
movie youve never seen Scarface scarf pitches a movie Pitch you a movie okay welcome um name is Cliff
01:16:09
Liberton my partner here I'm steinson yeah Ste he just goes by steenson well I'm so famous everybody
01:16:15
knows who steinon is just call me lion okay yeah we're Jews
01:16:21
okay yeah um all right right so here's the pitch right what's yeah so go ahead so you got you got you got this guy
01:16:28
let's call him um Arman and uh and well you don't have the character's name I don't really like that name we we can
01:16:34
switch it up give me any any word name it doesn't matter well your it's your movie you give us the name I give you the name yes okay we'll name him Andre I
01:16:42
don't like that one that's fine we'll take it where's this Andre from uh let's he's from India I like okay we
01:16:49
like now yeah yeah and and right so his parents set him up about an arranged marriage right M uhuh so you you there's
01:16:56
a lot of words you can go with this right so so he goes to the arranged marriage and who's waiting for him but Bobby
01:17:02
Lee H oh the Mad TV guy the Mad the Mad TV guy thead friendy I mean on our
01:17:08
list it goes Ken Jang Randall Park Ronnie Chang Jimmy oang uh Daniel de Kim
01:17:16
um the list goes up in fact Ste yeah he's not on the list he's not on give us another name please any other name any I
01:17:23
mean is is your character Asian he doesn't have to be I could switch to how about a Barry con EG or somebody
01:17:28
that's relevant like a rat boy exactly we love the rap rap boy summer we love
01:17:34
the rap Boy Summer yeah go ahead wait a minute time out for a second is he a rap boy can you be a rap boy you said when
01:17:41
you described white rat boy was white but they have to be white to be a rat they have to be white even though rat I've never seen a white
01:17:47
rat wow wait really what do you mean there's white rats where in New York
01:17:53
there's white rat rats all over the world what do you mean I've never SE I did every every time I see a rat they're
01:17:59
like gray or like brown you've never seen a rat I've never seen that white kind of rat yeah but that where have you
01:18:04
seen the rat the the brown rat in Jersey in New York yeah yeah York but New York
01:18:09
this is a fancy rat oh these are like bougie rats Hill okay got you I'll tell
01:18:15
you what I'll tell you what you I got I have an idea yeah first of all we love you you know this right thanks has this
01:18:21
been fun has this been a fun little episode I've got someone I know that can pitch us a movie okay okay hey Vic get
01:18:29
in here Vic get in here watch this watch this I want you to see this yeah yeah I'm ready Vic see yeah okay will you
01:18:36
jump up real fast I want you to stand over there yeah this is what a movie is will you sit down there Vic and Pitch us
01:18:42
a movie I want Armand to watch that this is a work of art this is a work of art here pitch us a movie we're an we're
01:18:49
executive you're hi I'm leitz this is steon steon Stein all right hi so this
01:18:55
is a futuristic Society planet we open with a detective holy [ __ ] talking with
01:19:03
their wife this detective a little bit disgruntled they just got back from a
01:19:09
three-year stint in our space they're finally back home they're married write the check write the
01:19:14
check [ __ ] check keep going keep going um and then all these Crimes start
01:19:20
happening bad crimes bad crimes sorry a lot of uh property is going missing oh
01:19:27
there's been some accusations of bribery and then the
01:19:32
detectives need informant gets murdered oh my God what happened who killed him
01:19:38
what happened I need to know so there's a couple more things that happens eventually leads to the fact that it is
01:19:44
the detective's wife that she's the killer she's been the one committing
01:19:50
this crimes because she was a charlatan at her home on her home planet is's a lower Tech Planet so she's still
01:19:56
figuring out all this technology my mom was a charlatan she was I saw her I remember her oh I it's kind of that I
01:20:03
love you but you're putting me in so much trouble yes yeah of course and at the end there's moment of
01:20:11
like oh we're going to they're going to have like a proper wedding like you know for their family oh yeah of course an arranged marriage an arrang well it
01:20:17
wasn't arranged but okay okay okay but then they decide to not have that kind
01:20:23
of confirmation ceremony M and they just end up sitting together and like holding on to each other and saying I love you
01:20:29
and the movie is called of golden Glory yes sign a check not only that and who's
01:20:35
the detective you already have the casting right who do you want uh I think of Scarlet Johansson Scarlett Johanson
01:20:41
Scarlet Johansson can we get her yeah we can it's pretty expensive yeah yeah yeah and she's playing the detective
01:20:47
detective lock smith her name is lock smith clever forget it oh my God thank you so
01:20:56
much free picture deal free picture deal $100 million best tip know your pitch before you do it I would play about
01:21:03
this in your face [ __ ] sit back down Arman Arman Vic a [ __ ] honestly walk
01:21:12
off home run walk off home run the game's over Arman how do you feel about that and we didn't mean to pit you guys
01:21:18
by the way I just knew in my heart she had something in the [ __ ] chamber dude yeah I I think I got to go home and
01:21:24
no no ready come back no dude you're going to stay here on the studio even after we leave okay and I want you to work on it I'll stay here till till the
01:21:30
next time oh you're never coming back no no no you're never coming back yes he is he's never coming back but we love him
01:21:36
yeah yeah all right well thank you Arman you can go back out there with the thank you buddy you were so good amazing what
01:21:43
did we learn today Rudy you know I've noticed Indians smell so good
01:21:49
mhm what the [ __ ] do they smell like what do they smell like like they smell so like flowery uh let me say what's
01:21:56
really going on okay you got she has a crush on that guy no because my they're called phermones no because my
01:22:02
co-workers are all Indians and they smell so good too yes they do smell good but you also have a crush on like I saw the way you were looking at them it was
01:22:08
a whole thing yeah I have a boyfriend okay big deal he's so young huh he's so
01:22:14
young he's 20 what one year old younger than you you're the same age no you
01:22:19
think you're you're way more mature no I feel older you know why why because you
01:22:24
live you don't live with roommates she thinks she's special yeah you think you're above this kind of and you're
01:22:29
kind of like also a celebrity no I'm not that's right you don't know who you are
01:22:35
I'm not if I put you in front of a bad friend's crowd thousands of people will they cheer because they know it from the
01:22:41
podcast that's right that's what celebrity it's for that's actually what
01:22:46
he's saying that's what it celebrity is no yeah yeah yeah what else did you learn today other than that all Indians
01:22:51
smell very good um but you did think he was handsome he's
01:22:58
cute okay okay whatever you say what did you learn and that soing is
01:23:05
inserting the dick to the van okay aside from that well no that's true you learn that that is something we learn we
01:23:10
talked about other things but yeah and that also you're you missed us and you're happy to be back and you're going
01:23:17
to come back am I wrong or am I right or am I right you're right [ __ ] yeah we missed you I missed having you around
01:23:23
well go ahead sign off for us thank you for being a bad friend [Music]
