00:00:00
you two are bad friends who are these two idiots a white dude and an Asian
00:00:05
dude you two are disgusting you two or something we're
00:00:10
bad friends I'm I was ready at [ __ ] 550 to go and she wasn't even were you
00:00:16
not in the house no I wasn't yeah you weren't in the house all right so you can't give me that look here's a second
00:00:22
thing I want to say okay I just found out this [ __ ] girl didn't get me anything for my birthday it's my 50th
00:00:28
birthday and I go where's the iPad and she goes that's too expensive I
00:00:35
got no money yeah you have [ __ ] money Lady it's still expensive I know my point is then I go and then I ask you
00:00:42
where's your money and you go I'm getting my teeth fixed she hasn't been to the dentist one time since she's been in America so you [ __ ] lied to me and
00:00:49
she said my teeth are rotten and number two I'm not trying to be rude all right I know you're a young girl okay but what
00:00:54
I'm saying is is that I don't charge you rent in my house not one rent right when
00:01:00
I go to a steakhouse or whatever I always ask you do you want some steak you be honest with me Jules right if I
00:01:06
went to Morton's right and I go do you want something to eat right and you said
00:01:13
I want a T-bone steak with baked potato and the trimmings right would I not give
00:01:18
it to you you would yeah right and I would never use that against you I would
00:01:24
just be like here my child here's some nutrients I turn 50 years old once a
00:01:29
year I mean not once a year once a lifetime not once a year sorry I'm in a rant once I apologize once a Lifetime
00:01:37
right and in the Korean culture the 50th birthday is the magical one that's why little Santino right put all these
00:01:43
little candy treats in front of me right now they put all these little what a surprise this is sponge
00:01:50
who's this Buzz Lightyear Buzz Lightyear is that what his name is Luigi
00:01:56
this is Toy Story Luigi right cuz you're my little toy you're my little you don't
00:02:01
start you don't start you're my little I'm your little pocket [ __ ] I'm your little pocket [ __ ] so I just want to
00:02:08
say to you Jules I I'm going to I'm going at the end of my rant all right sushi in candy form what a what a bright
00:02:16
and ingenious way to present candy isn't that cute to an Asian person from my little Japanese friend yeah yeah this
00:02:22
I'm a Korean what Korean are you serious yeah but we'll eat this too as well right okay good so I mean I didn't get
00:02:28
any candy from you I didn't get no treats from you we decorated and you gave nothing you gave nothing I have
00:02:35
what what did you give so what oh so okay here we go that's all I wanted out of you so
00:02:42
tomorrow is my birthday I have it here why are you screaming and getting
00:02:48
aggressive because I just want to scream all right so you have a gift here where is
00:02:55
it oh my bad then
00:03:02
can you bring it to me pleas you
00:03:11
[Music] bring open it
00:03:16
up what is it what is it Bob I don't have to open it but I can just tell through the
00:03:22
package show it to the fans people want to know what it is what did Ry get you it's a cold taco supreme from Taco Bell
00:03:28
ooh what a gift is that's it you're not
00:03:34
going to open it no I know what it is that's rude open the gift [ __ ] you what if it's not what if it's a piece of cake
00:03:39
all right I'm going to say this right now all right if I open this up and it's not an iPad let's see if I and this is not some
00:03:47
futuristic Taco that's going to do something for me right I am going to go [ __ ] I might not even do the [ __ ] podcast well let me just see what it is
00:03:53
cuz I want to know all right let's open it up all right um what is it oh it's a coold taco [ __ ] Supreme
00:04:00
oh it is like I said but eat it though no I can't eat it throw throw it at her then out of
00:04:06
anger and frustration leave it to the side thank you so much very good very good do you want the taco yeah okay okay
00:04:14
I also want to say this hook shot I just I also want to say this what did I get you for your
00:04:20
birthday anime things where's the [ __ ] mic anime stuff I know anyway
00:04:25
knives um thank you so much for the gifts I don't know why Toy Story I've
00:04:31
never saw the movies what who did it do it again what I like
00:04:37
knives do it again I like knives we have a board we have a board we have a Rudy
00:04:43
board we have a rud we have a Rudy we now have a Rudy board that's
00:04:49
nice so is that when she's out of town mhm yeah yeah listen to all the ones we have hear it I'm tired of course that's
00:04:57
a good one it's a classic Direction all combined they have 4,000
00:05:05
tattoos DUI it's a fact I don't need to
00:05:10
know I like anime okay I don't
00:05:16
know yeah yeah yeah those are good can we sell those oh my God those are nfts
00:05:23
yeah those are far as I know those are NS for the reason that these are toy stories because you're little the the there has been a Toy story of our life
00:05:29
our relationship and our friendship is that of toys yeah we are sweet little youthful people yeah and speaking of
00:05:36
Pixar films Pete go ahead and bring up that Wikipedia real fast just because I want to show boob this real quickly can
00:05:42
I eat this to Bobby yeah was that the soundboard what is [Laughter] that click on that down at the bottom
00:05:49
Pete the last one there you go big screen it just for fun real fast show the fans
00:05:55
yeah the Characters themes narrative asner's vocal performance and and Gino score were praised as well as the
00:06:02
vignette of Carl and his wife Ellie growing old together the film won two Academy Awards including best animated
00:06:07
feature best nominated and that's from the [ __ ] page itself what the Wikipedia page itself acknowledges it's
00:06:14
a vignette not a monage once again from up I did not because I have other sources this is the source no no you
00:06:21
changed it because it was before the a montage was before and you changed it Rudy yeah yeah Rudy soundboard Rudy did
00:06:27
I change it I like knives did I change it no see yeah yeah
00:06:35
you know what you know what you're making me so angry I'm going to vape shove that up your ass [ __ ] you do it
00:06:40
it's your birthday you old [ __ ] hell yeah vape Life what's up
00:06:45
what's up dog Vape King dog what's up player dude are you excited it's your 50th birthday
00:06:52
no I I I I death is around the corner yeah you're halfway well no for you it's definitely more than halfway you're like
00:06:58
three qus done because I look at you know it was a sad week because Norm died G and then what did I brought it down no
00:07:04
no I just made me sad Diego maradana died a couple years ago and he was 60 he was 60 so I feel like I have 10 years
00:07:10
left Norm was 61 so you've got 11 11 years left yeah because you know Norm
00:07:15
was a great guy a legend and it was so heartbreaking so funny think about this if you die by by if you die by funn
00:07:24
you've got like three years left what does that mean well normal last is 61 he's [ __ ] alleged he's a genius he's
00:07:30
so funny you might last 52 53 maybe oh you think that the funnier you are the longer you last yep oh then why why you
00:07:38
should have died in your 20s I I gave you the joke I know I gave you the joke well that's the truth though I gave you
00:07:44
the joke yeah I've seen you lately on stage who's funnier don't go there did I see you bomb in the O A couple nights
00:07:49
ago yeah you did yeah pretty bad pretty bad yeah but you brought me on stage like a sweet boy yeah that that crowd
00:07:56
was rough well then it was rough you give me that then yeah but I did better
00:08:01
than you for sure I don't know if you did oh I sure did can I just can I tell you can I tell you why I sure did I was
00:08:07
like I want to stay and watch Andrew I couldn't even stay because you had to go outside no I was and smoke cuz you were
00:08:13
so bummed at what you did on stage you know it was like a TR thing what you did on stage I want I wanted to go this I want to go like this I want to go boring
00:08:20
here's what you did on stage uh uh uh uh you were searching you were hunting you
00:08:25
were searching you were hunting in the woods for bigfoot it was you were never going to find it it was a tough it was a tough crowd yeah with Colin Quinn
00:08:31
there's no way I did better to know who did better no there was a way I got more laughs it was terrible it is by the way
00:08:37
it's a special day today why not only is it your birthday it's also yam kapor do you know that do you know what yam kapor
00:08:43
is [Applause] Jewish young do you have any Jewish
00:08:50
friends Roger who's Roger who's Roger think kila's father
00:08:57
he's Jewish anti kila's stepdad is Je Jewish yeah can we call him no because
00:09:04
he's got out of heart surgery today wake him up do you know he had surgery today
00:09:09
right yeah yeah yeah yeah is he okay yeah he's fine my dad had surgery yesterday my dad had not hard surgery
00:09:15
but he had surgery that's so sad I'm so sorry now his uh tube in his pee pee dude I was asking him about a catheter
00:09:21
the most painful thing he's ever experienced what do they do they go through the hole right through the no they make no they make another hole no
00:09:28
wait no no they shave they carve another hole in your penis just go through the hole that already course they do of course I don't know I'm not a doctor not
00:09:34
anymore you're not I know but so let me ask you something about the catheter they stick a uh they stick a uh tube
00:09:42
right in your pis in the hole of the penis oh yeah yeah oh yeah and then they it goes to where does it endless or does
00:09:48
is there end it comes back out of your mouth it goes they and then and then it comes right
00:09:54
out oh so when they pull it out it's like a magic trick how they do with canker ships Magic
00:09:59
they pull a handkerchief right out t or something no it goes into your [ __ ] bladder and you know what he told me
00:10:05
that was a bummer he said he has to then then when they're done you have to relearn how to hold your piss you have
00:10:10
to relearn how to pee because it'll just come out uh my dad says when he drinks now piss just comes out oh really yeah
00:10:17
oh that's not funny well no he's fine it's you got to laugh about it what is that is that forever now no no of course
00:10:23
not no it's only like a couple more I think it's like a maybe a month or something and then they pull it out couple more weeks is it your stepdad
00:10:29
though right mm yeah not real huh he's real he's a full guy he's a real man I
00:10:35
know but not your bio yeah but I have a biod dad and a stepdad how's he doing they're both alive great burn cuz my dad
00:10:42
di H got dead dad hurt dead dad daddy while
00:10:47
you die but you know what I'm proud of you 50 years and and look at what you've done with your career and I'm being
00:10:53
genuine right now look at what you've done look at where you've made it look at how [ __ ] far you've come seriously
00:10:59
you son of a [ __ ] from like a loser Korean fat loser pussiless layo in San Diego yeah
00:11:06
to now becoming one of the kings of comedy in our generation can I show you a photo can I finish my [ __ ] thing no
00:11:12
because it's not ins sincere and it doesn't feel right has this been Sincere was I being sincere Rudy thank you thank
00:11:17
you look look at this photo right here interrupt my [ __ ] speech this is me 21 years old wow show the kids look at
00:11:24
the kids wow how many years ago was that go fast math go that was 30 years
00:11:30
ago n that was uh 29 years ago there it is okay there it is but I lied I I was
00:11:38
20 there oh you did okay okay so I I didn't lie I don't even know
00:11:44
who this other guy is I think he died dead guy Bill Bill is it was Billy yeah do you remember anything about that man
00:11:50
yeah so I knew what I know about Billy is him and I there's a there's a coffee shop I used
00:11:56
to work at called the panakin uh La Hoya panakin coffee shop next door to it was this place called DG he still there I
00:12:04
think DG Wells bookstore huh and that's where I met um like Hunter Thompson used to hang out
00:12:11
there you know what I mean and did you meet him Hunter Thompson no but I met um [ __ ] Alan Ginsburg seriously yeah the
00:12:17
writer no the [ __ ] baseball [ __ ] player oh the baseball Alan no Alan Ginsburg the writer he wrote me a letter
00:12:24
once what did it say he says you watch too much TV dear Bob watch too much TV I
00:12:31
I have the letter in the house somewhere but I used to hang out there I never read a book in my life I know but you know what I used to do I used to hang
00:12:37
out there and I would like for hours and just pretend to read waiting for someone
00:12:42
cool to come in yeah it was like one of those places where all these cool writers and people playing chess and stuff and like Dennis the owner of the
00:12:49
bookstore like was a friend of mine and stuff how would you pick the book I was just go like besteller no I would go to
00:12:54
like some I would go to ker guard say it again ker guard sure right like he has a
00:13:00
book called fear and trembling mhm never read it I have it was it good never finished it yeah I've never finished any
00:13:07
and I used to you know I used to open it up and cross my legs and read so I met so I met Billy there and then Billy and
00:13:13
I went and saw way before it was a three bands it
00:13:18
was mud honey oh I loved mud honey it was Sonic UK so good and pavement I
00:13:23
don't know pavement oh my one of my favorites and they played and there was only like a 100 people there in in
00:13:29
delmare it was one of the best shows ever SE wait where at the fairgrounds or something no just in the city of delmare pavement is one of the best albums um
00:13:35
this is pavement what was their song what was their hit song albums they have a um their first album called slanted
00:13:40
Enchanted is one of the best albums ever made in the90s slanted Enchanted slanted and Enchanted that was made for you yeah
00:13:47
slanted Enchanted is one of the best they have a song called Summer bab that's amazing it's it's a great s how
00:13:52
come I never heard of this band because this is more cool you're more Creed no you you're more Creed you're
00:14:00
more you're more like Midwestern like you know I grew up with hip-hop first of all stuff stuff you know nothing clown
00:14:06
what do they call what Insane Clown posy yeah yeah clown py clown py how do you say it clown py are y'all in the clown
00:14:12
py is it clown posy Insane Clown posi Insane Clown py py okay whatever okay
00:14:19
posi whatever say that's your thing no my thing is I'm into cool stuff no I'm into hip-hop you're not and you know
00:14:24
nothing about hip-hop and and and you know what I grew up in Powe in the suburb white people okay so don't TR to
00:14:30
put Creed on me because I don't like [ __ ] I don't know pavement all right okay all right you [ __ ] about hipop I
00:14:36
can't control like oh I live in the suburb we more black people [ __ ] we more
00:14:41
black people working in this [ __ ] living in this neighborhood I didn't have control over that yeah well okay
00:14:46
you have no black friends you're racist but I had no control over that I would love the blacks well admit that you're white privileged admit you're a white
00:14:52
privileged Kid Say I'm a white privileged kid say it I'm a white privileged kid okay I went to Country
00:14:59
clubs I play tennis I'm a white P CL I like you know I mean kind of Arty white
00:15:04
Arty white [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] thank you but anyway they have a great other um they have another album called
00:15:11
um crooked rain crooked rain with the album after this crooked rain crooked rain crooked rain two times I think it's
00:15:17
crooked rain crooked rain is it crooked rain crooked rain crooked rain crooked
00:15:22
rain just oh it is crooked rain twice yeah crooked rain crooked rain great album do you like this because olister
00:15:29
Jones says it's her favorite album is that why why is she there because it's she said it's her favorite album I have
00:15:34
dude uhoh listen sounds like somebody's uh oh
00:15:40
listen to this [ __ ] T okay my favorite album is crooked rain CR rain and look
00:15:46
listen to this [ __ ] give it to me dude D give it to me dude bye if you look at
00:15:52
Annie if you look at Annie we'll be right back with two Theos if if you look
00:15:58
at Annie right yeah best albums in the 9s right crooked rain crooked rain and
00:16:04
slend chant would be on those [ __ ] lists what do you mean best what according to who you no they would not
00:16:09
alltime selling nobody [ __ ] bought this no no in terms of critically critically acclaimed dude crooked is in
00:16:15
the if you look at the top 500 best albums ever made either crooked rain crooked rain or slant nchant would be on
00:16:22
that [ __ ] according to whom sometimes not sales no dude not Awards you're so
00:16:28
dumb dude so who likes it really you and your buddies and pawe you're in your paway bubs bro you can't say you can't
00:16:35
say something's the best if there is no reason to prove that it's the best bro listen to me okay Reebok is the best
00:16:42
shoe company according to who dude me and my powerway buds listen to me okay
00:16:48
uhhuh people watch Full House yeah lots Millions I've never seen that yeah right
00:16:54
right right so more people probably saw Full House than saw the movie
00:17:00
yimbo sure right are you saying that that Full House is better than yimbo
00:17:06
because more people watched Full House yep you're wrong yep because a lot
00:17:13
of people in this country I want to say this to you America and not bad friend Frans because you guys are bright and
00:17:19
you guys are artistic and you guys are open all right but I want to say this you're really being very combative for
00:17:24
my birthday by the way stay good news the newspaper page let me tell
00:17:32
you something and that wasn't full house that was Family Matters um black show by the way which I enjoyed more than the
00:17:37
white slave driven show of Full House right white
00:17:42
enslaved uh children by Danny oh Danny and his uncles it was a sex ring that's
00:17:49
what they were running out of that house it was disgusting you're describing Roots was that yeah I think you're
00:17:56
missing mixing two fil switching the shows Roots is what you're talking about can I tell you something what I do know
00:18:02
who pavement is did that make you mad no okay because you know why you know yeah
00:18:08
because you're a bright guy I do know yeah yeah I do know but it was really fun but can I say this yeah we got you
00:18:15
something special for your birthday oh gee what is it Andre go
00:18:21
ahead will you come into the room and present this gift to me yeah yeah do it
00:18:26
in a monologue for I don't want you in the other room he does this this is just he said he was
00:18:33
bringing in you a bringing you in a gift and I wrot a poem or something this is [ __ ] weird do you have a is this a oh
00:18:39
okay hello hi hi happy birthday thank you wait can you
00:18:46
get forward a little bit so the cameras can catch a little bit go over there so they can see you see you a little bit and also um get on your knees yeah yeah
00:18:53
get on no no Pete it's you let him be on his knees okay okay hold on okay
00:18:59
all right all right okay uhhuh hello hello give him the mic Happy Birthday
00:19:05
Bobby thank you actually today is a really happy
00:19:11
day stop for a second let me just absorb it take your time mhm so happy birthday
00:19:19
Hello you said today's a very very happy happy day yeah because because you were
00:19:26
born I was born yeah and and you just brighten my day every
00:19:33
day he brighten his day I don't I don't buy it but okay yeah also it's Mexican
00:19:42
Independence yeah yeah yeah and uh you know I remember those days when Spain
00:19:49
was ruling Mexico it was it was beautiful good times yeah was like we
00:19:54
live in harmony what um wrap it up right yeah yeah no this is his birthday gift
00:20:00
yeah yeah I need the whole thing okay okay anyway thank you Bobby uh you're
00:20:07
amazing yeah love you but can I before you go Andreas um do I get a physical gift from
00:20:16
you yeah yeah okay what is the physical gift I'm getting from you it's an iPad i
00:20:22
r is buying for you oh coming tomorrow ooh so I get a brand new iPad tomorrow
00:20:28
from the future from the future from Tomorrow the future exactly and you
00:20:33
didn't contribute to paying for it or anything yeah from both of us oh he you spent some money on it of course you did
00:20:40
okay I put the software you know you put the software inside oh you went to the factory and you was like wait a second I
00:20:46
know it's a factory right but let me for this specific one give me the parts y
00:20:52
right they stopped the mechan you know what I mean whatever the belt thing that they do and you put the [ __ ] mechanisms in it and all the other
00:20:59
[ __ ] probably Hispanic people sure he bro what are you doing we got to do 10 million today you know what I mean so
00:21:04
many more to do yeah yeah and then you did that and you took it off probably the belt yes right and you packaged it
00:21:10
yourself yeah well I put it in my bag while sto look you stole it oh you stole it you stole it okay yeah so you're
00:21:16
admitting to th thy yeah and then um for some reason jwes has it yeah accomplice
00:21:25
and I want to say this to you Andreas I want to believe you you don't believe you don't believe no well listen let me
00:21:30
finish all right first of all thank you and I'm grateful to have a friend like you right because getting a gift like an
00:21:37
iPad is just um it it says a lot it's something that I use every day every day
00:21:44
and the thing is is that um if I don't get one tomorrow yeah right there is
00:21:49
going to be a betrayal inside my heart big time and there will be something what they call Allah Revenge Allah Allah
00:21:55
Revenge allahar oh that's what it is is in charge of this second part I
00:22:03
understand but since it is a 50/50 present you said your present too if I don't get one yeah you will get half the
00:22:09
Wrath okay what will he get he'll get Allah Akbar Allah Akbar which in turn translates to fired fired yeah what she
00:22:17
get fired as well okay yeah if I don't get a [ __ ] the best iPad tomorrow one terab
00:22:24
right right with I'm going to open it up to see if he put the [ __ ] stuff in there too well CU did you sign it or
00:22:30
something in there I did so the mechanisms have little
00:22:35
signatures on it right so you know great I'll know who did itch right it might glitch a little bit I don't care right
00:22:41
but tomorrow when I wake up tomorrow right I can't wait to open up that I can't wait to see that I can't wait to see it you know and I also love firing
00:22:49
people and acting like a little baby oh yeah and rageful unfortunately I'm not going to be there in the morning but
00:22:55
will I'll never see you again actually well that'll be the end of you yeah yeah I yeah cuz I'm not going to I'm going to get other people to do it yeah right so
00:23:03
I'll never see you again yeah so um I can't wait thank you so much Andreas Andreas and thank you and tell your
00:23:10
people congratulations on Happy Independence Day oh no it's m it's Mexican the people it's the other people
00:23:16
they got away you don't you don't have a phone number the other people got away from his people I know but you can't call them yeah yeah good so thank you
00:23:23
thanks Andreas one more time for Andreas what a joyous what a pleasant day I guess he's
00:23:29
fired he's fired I'll never see him again door Das I'll tell you something right now and out of all the delivery
00:23:34
services this is the best one it's the one you use the most it's the one the one I only use and um the reason why is in certain places that you go to Door
00:23:41
Dash is the number one thing it's like in Hawaii like some of the other apps they don't even go to certain
00:23:46
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00:23:52
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00:23:58
now Andrew get grocery Essentials and you can go to Door Dash too get drinks snacks and other household items
00:24:04
delivered in under an hour just read it ordering isas you just say that literally but you know it was important that's why I had to re the way you said
00:24:11
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00:24:17
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00:25:02
we got a hello tushi here at the studio I love the hello tush I got one at my house I'll save a poo I'll save a poo to
00:25:08
do it here save a poo just to do it here because the tushi in this our bathroom is so nice it's the nicest one it's the
00:25:15
nicest one it goes right in the hole it's so easy to install it's so affordable and I'm telling you something
00:25:22
right now you you'll be able to eat a plate of food off your [ __ ] after a tushi you could tushy the modern of day company washes away even the messiest to
00:25:28
PO leaving you with a better clean tushy than toilet paper all right look sometimes it gets a little messy down
00:25:34
there toilet paper is a waste it's bad for the environment why not wash it out with the tush it's the modern bedet for
00:25:39
people who poop poop wash pat dry and then you're good to go I mean wash it with water is less irritating and more
00:25:45
soothing for your beeh hole right easy to install attaches to the toilet in under 10 minutes no electricity or
00:25:51
Plumbing needed yeah yeah easy to install uh using a tissue B reduces toilet paper use by 80% saving money and
00:25:59
the environment it's eco-friendly and stylish the tushi has a full product line to make the restroom the best including a tushy ottoman the sleekest
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show it off tag us hellotushy on Instagram what' you get me for my 50th your
00:26:31
birthday's not till tomorrow but do you have I mean because I'm not I might not see you tomorrow your birthday is not till tomorrow I'm delivering something
00:26:37
to your home tomorrow uhhuh so you'll get a [ __ ] gift you little snotrag brat wow well you never got me [ __ ] for
00:26:45
my [ __ ] birthday ever when is it exactly but when is your birthday we already passed it I know when is it guys
00:26:51
do you know they do know shut up what's the date we are you know we did a celebration without you okay I will look
00:26:57
it up it was 3 days ago I will look it up it was three days ago it's not September yes it is it's not it's not
00:27:02
what month is it then Andrew Santino what month is it in
00:27:08
birthday birthday here we go your birthday is October 16th that's right
00:27:14
and it's coming up it is coming up yeah and I am going to get you something so good yeah look underneath that is my
00:27:21
little photo this is my birthday cuz we're Bubbies yeah who's Benny Blanco he's uh a world famous meast star
00:27:30
producer who who was on Dave with us oh really he's connected to you he's yeah I he's like he's one of those
00:27:37
guys that writes some of the most famous songs you've ever heard on the radio and you might not know it's him that did it I'm a big fan that's great good stuff he
00:27:43
is good um hey can we can we call someone for your birthday who there's a guy who I found on the internet Pete
00:27:50
will you show the picture this is exactly what my penis looks like look at this ex like to the tea yeah I bet
00:27:55
exactly I know I've held it before exactly um so I found this on the internet and it made me laugh really hard this guy was doing a live AMA and
00:28:03
it says ask me anything okay and it says I have genital herpes ask me anything
00:28:08
okay so he was doing a live and he was just Fielding questions about his herpes yeah so I said this guy The Bravery of
00:28:14
this guy's badass some people most people hide their herpes this guy's like I got them do you have it no I don't even know what it looks like herpes yeah
00:28:21
I bet you can guess but how would I know well let's ask the expert we've got him available to talk to okay this guy P his
00:28:28
name is Pickering Fitness hello how's it going hey
00:28:35
hey herpo herpo herpo what's your name
00:28:40
dude my name is Christopher Christopher found Chris I found you I was scrolling
00:28:46
through Tik Tok on the [ __ ] and I saw you doing an AMA and it said I got herpes asked me anything and I thought
00:28:51
this guy's Brave as [ __ ] he's just putting it out there most people are scared to even talk about it but not you you were answering you did an AMA for
00:28:57
how long oh I do them daily got to educate the people so you do herpes daily herpes
00:29:03
amas every single day yeah I do the live videos to you know educate people and grow my page I
00:29:10
love this so look Bobby Bobby has never Bobby knows nothing about Herpes and he's very interested well I have there's
00:29:17
things wrong with my shaft what's so funny I heard about the
00:29:22
I heard about the drooping as well so he knows oh droopers he knows that you got I got droops well he knows you know
00:29:27
about the droops yeah yeah the the skin down you know yeah yeah the skin covers the head
00:29:35
and uh yeah Mak cheese Chris how'd you get the herpa derp how did I get it just live my best
00:29:41
life you know [ __ ] oh knee deep in it huh you remember who gave it to you is it like it's like Co yeah it was did you
00:29:48
let me ask you this did you ask her before you hooked up that do you have the herbs or is that something you ask you assume it's a woman it could be a
00:29:54
male you don't know his oh yeah did you the dude is it a guy I believe it was a woman but you can never be sure these days I love his attitude see yeah yeah
00:30:01
you don't know let me ask you something now my penis has rashes on it it's got a purple heart because there been some
00:30:07
Wars and U my yeah my penis has a a person a cute personality you know it's
00:30:14
like a rotting see an enemy that's the best way to describe it and um my penis has
00:30:22
little bumps on it how do I know if I have herpes or not I would suggest that if you have
00:30:28
some bumps go to the doctor and get them to do a test of it because it's easier
00:30:35
to diagnose if you have symptoms as opposed to no symptoms but what I mean it's like let's say who gives a [ __ ] if
00:30:41
I have it I have it you know what I mean like why would I need to go to the doctor you got it you got it you mean it gives my penis some like you know um
00:30:46
personality personality like it looks like Edward James's face you know what I mean yeah yeah it's got some like you
00:30:54
know potholes and like it's a character it's a character actor your penis is a character yeah yeah like you could see
00:31:00
him so unless anyone um makes fun of you to the point where you decide to leave
00:31:07
this planet there will be no harm your body yeah it's not that big of a deal
00:31:12
it's not that big of a deal then huh so if you're with a new girl do you tell her up front that I or a guy my bad if
00:31:19
you're with a guy slir or a binary person non-binary
00:31:24
non-binary would do you tell that or they would you tell them that you have
00:31:30
herpes very good so I will tell everyone that I think I'm going to get naked with but I
00:31:37
will not just tell people on the first date is there a girl that is there a
00:31:42
human being that's ever said ah you know what I don't want that so I'm not going to hook up with you as that ever
00:31:48
happened not directly but yes I've been rejected for having it but I've also
00:31:53
been rejected for being 5 foot five or you know this weird person so rejection is going to happen without
00:32:01
are you 5 five yes yes I was given all of the terrible gifts just to either be
00:32:07
an inspiration or a joke in society we have to see which one I think you're an inspiration my friend no you're you're a
00:32:12
good guy I can tell man you seem like a good dude I appreciate that yeah man I'm a big fan of Bobby thank you man that's
00:32:18
his birthday I love you I love you in Memoirs of Aisha it was great
00:32:24
[Laughter]
00:32:30
can Bobby make fun of uh you now no I don't need to absolutely I don't have I
00:32:36
don't have to I don't have to St stoop to that level how big do you have a big penis absolutely not no it's probably
00:32:43
smaller than bobes honestly thank you damn that's good that's a win for me um anyway have you have you ever have
00:32:51
you ever have you ever gone to hook up with somebody yeah and you were like I have herpes and they were like I want to
00:32:56
see and and you show them I mean Memoirs of AA yeah can we just let that sink in for
00:33:03
a second it I did yeah no because I let it you know what I I'll be honest with you bud when I heard it I wanted to
00:33:10
laugh at first yeah but then a little rage happen you know it hits a rageful part of me yeah and then I'm like Let It
00:33:17
Go and then we kept talking right M I can't oh so not now you're mad I'm not
00:33:23
mad I just I don't know why I can't well then tell them how you feel tell them how that makes you feel um no I just
00:33:28
wanted to let me let me ask you did you think that I was in the movie Memoirs of the gay show or do you was that a
00:33:36
joke that was a joke that was a joke and it felt good then some material for this
00:33:42
particular phone call one the Jes let's hear some of them let that's really good so let's let's
00:33:47
hear let's go through the jokes then cuz that felt now that feels good yes I some material can I name the
00:33:55
segment real fast yeah absolutely abely jokes from a jerk with
00:34:01
bumps nice now do some of these jokes need a
00:34:07
setup for me like if I say something then you could respond with something sort of yeah some of them can
00:34:13
be they're so so give me a give me a setup and I'll set you up for one so what's give me a
00:34:18
setup okay so typically I will only wear like Kang tops or wife beaters like in all of my herpes videos yeah so maybe
00:34:25
you're going to be like hey man is that the only thing you wear about this no I'll do it I want to hear your response
00:34:30
I don't want to hear your response I hey dude so I watched some of your um Tik Tok videos and stuff you wear wife beers and tank up and stuff is that all the
00:34:37
only things you wear absolutely I'm completely naked from the waist down which is probably
00:34:43
why I ended up with herpes because of all the excess skin that's visible oh that joke didn't hit did not hit oh that
00:34:49
joke didn't hit how can we make that better there's no way to do it let's Let it go let's go to the next show okay let's go to the next show really want
00:34:56
joke yeah you know what you should give us another set you know what you should have done with that is right when you were saying the punchline right and you
00:35:03
could tell that it wasn't going well then you should have hit me back with memo vacation that would crushed so let's do that again let's do that again
00:35:09
let's do that again let's do that again okay back so you yeah just do a little let's try it so um you know I watch your
00:35:15
Tik Tok videos and I see wear tank tops and white feers and stuff is that all you
00:35:22
wear no but um I do sometimes wear that when I'm watching Memoirs of gasa
00:35:28
there we go that's EXA that's very much better much better better give me another give me another setup for
00:35:34
another joke that you wrote okay here we here we go so I heard it is your birthday Tom moral Bobby yes
00:35:40
right okay that means you're turning 50 this year you are the same age as a Willy Wonka in the Chocolate Factory but
00:35:46
by the looks of you it looks like you ate the whole Chocolate
00:35:52
Factory ooh hey ooh ooh hey yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah no
00:35:58
for me it's up for me it's up it's for me it's
00:36:05
like um that was a bur how can we make that one better no I think that's a good
00:36:10
one you like that one yeah because it's he the joke was as if I look like ralie
00:36:15
may let me tell his Let Me Tell It here's here's how it should have gone Chris Chris Christopher Chris right
00:36:21
Chris either one is fine I it should have gone that's see that's a good joke I love about it that's a good a good
00:36:28
girl goes is it Chris or Christopher go who cares I have herpes let's go get a drink that's that's a good
00:36:34
joke so it should have gone it should have gone Bobby you're turning 50 tomorrow which is the same age as Wily
00:36:39
Wonka in the Chocolate Factory yeah but from the looks of it I think I've seen
00:36:45
you in Memoirs of AA you see how this that would a crush
00:36:52
well I liked your AMA I think it was really good I thought it was really fun that you were answering question also dude let me say something you know I
00:36:57
really like it thank you calling that was my that was my birthday gift to you that's the gift I app thank you so much
00:37:04
what a great GI Chris we'll talk to you soon thank you brother sounds good love you bye
00:37:10
guys I said bye guys because I was saying goodbye to him and his herpes I want to say bye to both that was really
00:37:16
funny hey um that was my gift yeah
00:37:22
okay all right yeah nah no thanks we're trying Bob yeah it's not I don't think
00:37:29
you are because I don't think anyone really is cuz the only thing that I asked for really to be honest with you we got you gifts it's not your [ __ ]
00:37:36
birthday till tomorrow relax don't yell no you're such a spoiled brat we're getting you gifts everybody got you a
00:37:42
gift I'm just expressing something that's all well say it all right all I'm saying is is that I only wanted one
00:37:48
thing and I feel like I'm not going to get the one thing that I asked you're going to get the [ __ ] iPad okay it's not the iPad what is it then PlayStation
00:37:55
five you're not going to get the PS5 I know and and and it hurts me well that's not for a year I've been looking for one
00:38:01
it's the market I know but that's what I wanted that's the market little boy you can get one they're like five
00:38:08
grand Bob but that's the thing it's like you know it's my 50th birthday right why
00:38:14
can't somebody Splurge five grand that's a lot of money Bobby you can afford a [ __ ] PlayStation 5 so can you I know
00:38:21
but it's not my birthday I'm not going to give myself a birthday present why it is your birthday no I want someone to give it to me okay all right
00:38:28
I respect it hey so we've been we've been following heavily the protest at the CDC because Nicki Minaj said don't
00:38:33
get vaxed do you know this no people are protesting at the CDC because Nicki Minaj was like do make
00:38:41
your own decisions she's basically saying don't get back yeah but so she so she said that and then people are just
00:38:47
going to the CDC and protesting the CDC yeah it's pretty funny it's actually
00:38:52
very funny to me would you have not would you have gotten vaxed if if you were single yeah
00:38:59
and you didn't have the family the kids and and I would have gotten backed you would have done it anyway yeah but you
00:39:04
know what I'll I'll be honest with you say it you're antia a little bit no I'm not antia but I am getting to the point
00:39:12
and I don't know if it's my age but I'm leaning toward just make your own
00:39:18
decisions well I feel that way yeah I feel let people whatever you want to do no but I've always Le so to the left but
00:39:24
I I honestly as I get older you're becoming more concerned I'm coming becoming a little bit more conservative it's weird wow what else do you think
00:39:31
you're more conservative on pretty much everything like G you're against gay marriage no not not the social issues
00:39:37
are you against gay right or here's what I believe in this is what I believe in yeah Freedom s oh I like this this
00:39:45
sounds like a little Fox News let's listen I believe in Freedom right me too so a woman's right to choose hell yeah
00:39:52
is freedom oh hell no you're going to let them choose yeah
00:39:57
yeah no they can't drive they can't think um put that baby in the kitchen
00:40:03
the right to own firearms guns is freedom okay so conser that's conservative that is very conservative
00:40:09
all right so so kill your baby keep your guns no no no that's what I'm saying kill your baby keep your guns should be regulations on guns on guns there are
00:40:16
but more a little bit more but I still believe in the right to own some okay I don't believe that somebody
00:40:22
needs a like AK-47 you know what I mean well why not for hunting you ever shot one they they feel good so fun they feel
00:40:28
so good don't they they're so fun I yeah yeah that's the problem yeah but
00:40:34
I think that um have one have more have fun I think so let's go over the issues that you are the far just let me just
00:40:41
get this point out is um I used to be very far left M and because of cancel
00:40:49
culture it's pushing me to be abl Center okay toward the center do you think you
00:40:54
would V if if Trump runs again will you vote again will you V vote I hate him he's he's he's are you sure I want to go
00:41:01
January 6th I I wish I went what if he has the same policies that what if he starts saying stuff that you like like
00:41:06
what what if he's like I'm fine women keep your babies kill them do whatever you want gods are
00:41:13
good but he would never do that because his platform is Christian right you know what I mean what if he flips the
00:41:20
script I think he would he wouldn't get anybody then what's another conservative issue that you think you're you're more conservative about now then that you
00:41:27
were a Democrat about before or I mean conservative I mean liberal about before well you know immigration I've
00:41:34
always had because I'm an ethnic person and you know my parents came here and I you want to stop that immediately no I
00:41:40
don't well you got in it's like let [ __ ] the Asylum is fair I think you we should keep that in the books but
00:41:46
it's like illegal Crossings is you know illegal Crossings is bad it's not that it's bad but it's like me we should be
00:41:51
able to um what shut him out kick him back that's what I'm saying no that's what I'm saying either what are you saying I I personally believe
00:41:58
everything's fine at the border is it I don't know what you're doing I
00:42:05
don't know what I'm doing I don't really don't know what you're doing no I don't either I'm asking you yeah what's going I don't like talking about this [ __ ]
00:42:10
right here because why it's fun I don't like talking about this [ __ ] because I just feel like people are going to be like you're idiot you [ __ ] don't know
00:42:16
your they're all IDI everyone's IDI I can feel myself like kind of drifting toward a center Rudy how do you feel
00:42:23
about IM illegal immigrants I feel like
00:42:28
they need to have citizenship because they work here yeah they try
00:42:36
to serve Americans so I think they need to have
00:42:42
citizenship okay that was a political answer that's a pretty good one because she said she
00:42:48
didn't really take a stance on it yeah are you again how do you feel about gay rights I love gays perfect yeah that
00:42:55
says everything I love gays as well I don't know I do I don't know up hey if
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00:45:19
badri that's meundies.com badri yeah did you vote for the recall of Gavin new I
00:45:24
did yesterday a little too late but we did it and who did you say did you I just put no on the one thing wait so you
00:45:30
said no to the recall yeah you didn't want to recall him no I like him I recalled him why Caitlyn Jenner what
00:45:38
mean Caitlyn Jenner Caitlyn Jenner was on that list of people that were running against him I want to recall new and put Caitlyn no but it was Larry Elder you
00:45:44
know what what no Larry Elder was one of the names on the list there was a massive list of names you could have
00:45:49
picked from Caitlyn Jenner was one of the names and I voted for Caitlyn I didn't know that if I knew that she was
00:45:55
on there if I knew I think I you're were against trans rights and you're against trans that's what my girlfriend say push
00:46:01
your girlfriend's trans what are you trying to say no no she gave me the you're against the trans Community gave me the [ __ ] the the the ballot and
00:46:06
she told you what to do I was playing [ __ ] a game on my phone oh my God just listen to what happened you bigot I
00:46:13
was playing a game on my phone you voted to keep a white straight mail in office instead of putting in someone like
00:46:19
Caitlyn Jenner I didn't know you make me sick dude [ __ ] you I didn't know a white straight male another Poway High San
00:46:25
Diego's finest that's what you did I was playing a game on my phone and you didn't even pay attention she threw a [ __ ] ballot
00:46:31
down on my phone and what did she she said vote no I put no down did she say there was no other other things that I could [ __ ] put I am up put it in the
00:46:38
[ __ ] mailbox all right so we'll just get another white straight mail running this country into the [ __ ] [ __ ] you who gives a [ __ ] I don't give a [ __ ] you
00:46:45
what yeah [ __ ] you so you heard it here first [ __ ] you Bobby Lee Pro guns and anti I'm tired of this he's Pro guns
00:46:52
he's anti-trans that's what he said against trans people can I that's what you are you didn't good last night what
00:46:58
do you mean I can tell in your eyes why yeah you're grumpy and you didn't sleep all last night and be honest wait don't
00:47:03
deflect because you didn't V I didn't no don't do this I don't know anything about it wait let me say something no just because you just because you're SLE
00:47:10
because you're against grumpy and and I don't know what you're doing so sleep well next time and then we'll meet okay
00:47:16
you do know what I'm doing no I don't yes I'm what happened last night that you are what happened last night Pro did
00:47:22
you sleep well last night you are pro white power oh you're white power now a
00:47:27
white power guy wait you need to be on ambient to sleep are you a white power guy you need to get rest I think you're
00:47:33
overwork I think you you rest you're overwork and you have a lot of stress in your life why are you against the trans
00:47:39
Community I love them why did you vot then why didn't you why didn't youe I
00:47:44
didn't know what the [ __ ] want another white straight he's
00:47:50
cute he's cute this is's cute as [ __ ] Fox News is he not cute he's okay yeah I
00:47:57
think Caitlyn is way prettier I know but in terms of Governors it's like who would you all right listen to this uh
00:48:02
who would I rather have someone that snuck away during the middle of Co to go to French Laundry to eat dinner or Caitlyn Jenner good food in the middle
00:48:09
of Co when he told everyone not to leave their house he went and ate [ __ ] dinner while Caitlyn while Caitlyn was
00:48:15
changing the [ __ ] time changing Society bro this is say I'm sorry on your camera to Caitlyn Jennifer not I'm
00:48:21
sorry Caitlyn but I did see her documentary I love it okay say it to her I love your documentary I love it the
00:48:26
way you throw that pole the way she threw the pole when she
00:48:32
was Bruce not pole not no not no I know
00:48:37
what it sounded like the way you threw the pole oh boy oh boy at the Montreal Olympics when you
00:48:44
were Bruce wow that's crazy to say so insensitive why the way he ran around
00:48:51
Bruce is dead Caitlyn's now I know but still Bruce is inside a little it him a
00:48:57
little inside I don't think so pal pal I don't think so buddy pal pal let me ask
00:49:04
you this is your home life is your home life stressful and you can't get rest are you trying to dig out of this hole
00:49:10
right now I'm not I'm not in the so deep in this I feel so good about it Bobby Bobby Bobby and I'm going to be like I'm
00:49:16
up here I'm above you I'm not even in the hole okay right you're in the hole B buddy right you're in the hole dude it's
00:49:23
like dude honestly like for me to work with you you need to get more rest I love it I love it honestly I love that
00:49:29
you're the way you are look at me yeah I love it what do you love I love what do you [ __ ] love you I love holding that
00:49:36
against you that you voted for Gavin Newsome and not and not Caitlyn Jenner anyway or Larry Elder who who's a black
00:49:42
male so instead of a black guy or a trans woman you wanted a white you wanted a white straight hetero toxic
00:49:49
male that's all I want to say all I'll admit to you than this that's all I want to say all right number one okay you got
00:49:55
my money and my vote Caitlyn listen Okay I I I I don't know a
00:50:01
lot about Governors but I know Greg Abbott I know Ronda santz no just listen
00:50:08
right I know Brian Kemp right he's a governor as well right you have Texas Georgia Florida right and Gavin new line
00:50:16
those four [ __ ] up right kill them Gavin's the cutest one okay fine will
00:50:21
you admit that yes out of the four you know what you're right he's the cutest one and that's what I was holding on to
00:50:27
okay okay okay so I know it seems shallow it's not yeah yeah it's right in line with your your normal my my way of
00:50:34
thinking yes right I would never [ __ ] the other three Kemp what about Caitlyn yeah but I
00:50:41
didn't know Caitlyn was in it I [ __ ] now you do would you have sex who would you have sex over Caitlyn or or Gavin
00:50:46
Newsome probably Caitlyn because I'm not gay that sounded weird wait wait that
00:50:55
sounded weird no no that sounded weird okay what I meant to say is I'm
00:51:02
disappointed in you Barbie I know I know that Caitlyn is is more feminine and
00:51:09
that's what I would probably be drawn to yeah and and Gavin is not as feminine
00:51:14
okay I wouldn't [ __ ] any of them all right I don't even what we're talking about I don't even know why we're here at this point where you're accusing me
00:51:21
this this segment has made me so happy I know it hurts me though and my throat's [ __ ] and I I don't
00:51:27
happy [Applause] birthday happy birthday to you ready
00:51:36
happy birthday no not yet you [ __ ] [ __ ] we have to finish singing before you blow out the
00:51:43
candle did you make a wish yeah happy birthday to you I think I'm
00:51:51
going have moved to New York Bob yeah today just talk me what it
00:51:57
pushed me to New York I think what do you mean your attitude what did I do you were just so like digging me and I just
00:52:03
I think I anyway thank you for the cake what is it it's cupcakes it's delicious
00:52:10
eat it all right eat one you fat Fu [ __ ] you know I don't like icing I
00:52:16
know neither do I yeah that's we have something in common eat it you know can I just say
00:52:23
something I I will eat it in a second right but but this tells me that's it was
00:52:30
homemade no those are homemade no it's not homemade wait those are homemade cupcakes this tells me you got this at
00:52:37
either VES or some gral or some exuse me excuse me those were homemade cupcakes
00:52:42
why is it frozen solid because I put them in my fridge so they wouldn't go bad freezer I put them in my fridge so
00:52:48
they wouldn't go bad my fridge is cold so this is um all right those are made those are
00:52:54
homemade thank you did you like it yeah good Rudy do you want one yeah throw her
00:53:00
one all right well throw her the whole thing I don't need it you want me to throw it at her no don't throw it at her please okay
00:53:06
here [ __ ] all right okay
00:53:12
okay hold on oh it is frozen yeah yes yeah okay this don't throw it here you
00:53:21
go just throw it gentle very good nice catch nice catch happy birthday Bob
00:53:27
thank you um but I have been like um all week long I've been on the pelaton you been trying to get back in
00:53:34
shape I'm trying to do because I I just um I want to last a little longer you
00:53:41
know I want to last a little longer big red what do you mean that was the old theme song remember that why last a
00:53:49
little longer go fast a little longer longer with big red big
00:53:57
you know what my favorite do the theme song to Big Red my favorite theme song was do you remember the old sugarcan
00:54:03
commercial from Hawaii wait for what for Hawaiian rolls no for sugarcane for
00:54:08
Hawaiian sugarcane no wait I will forget well let me play well let me hear it I
00:54:14
no because once I started talking and I didn't know what I was talking about I I lost the tune
00:54:20
CN cnh pure cane sugar that's the one
00:54:27
when was that you remember that c puree sugar that's the
00:54:33
one what yeah you don't remember that c p sugar that's the one is that from 1976
00:54:40
I wasn't alive yet yeah I was born C it P sugar that's the one yeah that's it
00:54:46
look at how cute that is from 1976 rice rice aroni the San Francisco the San
00:54:53
Francisco tree ding ding I was going to say that you were off rhythmically no no no let me do it right okay try it rice
00:54:59
aroni the San Francisco tree no the San Francisco wait hold on hold on let let
00:55:06
me do my version you do your version and then you will go to the YouTube right and you be the judge
00:55:12
okay rice oon the San Francisco treat
00:55:17
rice oon the San Francisco treat ding ding okay
00:55:24
[Music]
00:55:30
there it is I just did it right that's it rice right it was a m closer right
00:55:35
rice aroni the San Francisco treat yours is like the San Francisco is [ __ ] a
00:55:41
minute long I'm right that I wasn't born I know
00:55:46
but I 1962 right I don't I cuz the newer one I think is slower by by men Yeah by
00:55:53
men that's that was pretty clear what about uh
00:56:02
um you got to see the show they're they go back and forth for about 25 minutes about about um commercial
00:56:10
Jingles this [ __ ] show I know it's great it's great people want to hear it I know people do yeah people what wait
00:56:17
what's the other one that I was just thinking of I don't know I don't I'm not I don't live inside your [ __ ] stupid head
00:56:22
588 2300 what what come on 588 to
00:56:32
300 Empire empire that right know yeah I
00:56:37
know that one yeah yeah so 588 2300 Empire that's a good one today to
00:56:44
there's a today after that I think he says today yeah the little guy he goes today today and there is there already
00:56:50
does Coca-Cola have one yeah what um co uh Coca-Cola is
00:56:56
always great wait it's it's always great always refreshing we don't like
00:57:04
blacks oh yeah that was it always great always refreshing we don't don't like
00:57:11
blacks or Hispanics at the end the 1983 ver they added they added Hispanics we don't like
00:57:18
blacks oranic or or or the Asians yeah I
00:57:24
remember that that's Coca-Cola what was what was Pepsis oh yeah Pepsis was like
00:57:29
um um oh goodbye he had a mission he had a
00:57:34
mission to go to do Pepsis Pepsi Pepsi Cola
00:57:40
[Laughter]
00:57:45
Pepsi Pepsi Pepsi Cola Pepsi because everything everything that
00:57:52
I have in my head is cancelable so I'm like I I'm editing you know what I mean well it's not you that said it Pepsi
00:57:58
said it oh yeah Pepsi didn't say Pepsi said it not you yeah yeah Pepsi Pepsi
00:58:04
you the Pepsi Bob sing the jingle you know the jingle as well right you
00:58:09
finished it off but you're a better singer I know but I you should finish up because you love Pepsi so much you love
00:58:15
Pepsi so much you're so obsessed with Pepsi you like Pepsi more should finish the jingle right Pepsi Pepsi I'll see
00:58:23
the beginning part Pepsi Pepsi Cola Pepsi Jews are the worst no that's
00:58:29
wasn't that it what was it that was the worst Pepsi Pepsi Cola
00:58:44
Pepsi oh my God oh my God Pepsi Pepsi
00:58:50
Cola Pepsi stop stop stop that was so wrong what was there
00:58:57
Pepsi Pepsi Cola Pepsi say it they they had the Asian one oh what was that one
00:59:04
peps pep p p Cora peps Pepsi nip [ __ ] zipper
00:59:14
head let me ask you what they have in the Philippines do they have Pepsi in the Philippines yeah do look obviously
00:59:22
they have Coke MH do they have Dr Pepper in the Philippines
00:59:27
I've never tried oh my oh my God they don't have Dr how about Mountain Dew yeah we have do they have Mr PB in the
00:59:34
Philippines that's like Dr Pepper's little [ __ ] all right so um do they have what else would be orange
00:59:41
crush no holy [ __ ] seven up there's seven up Sprite got to be there's got to
00:59:47
be spr Coke owns that yeah yeah there's got to be Sprite what about is there one that you don't think that we have
00:59:53
here um was that orange or orange crush that's what he
01:00:00
was saying Crush no it's not Orange Crush it's another name I forgot the names of
01:00:09
it thanks for being here Rudy think Rudy I mean the contribution it's is just
01:00:15
excellent through the roof it's through the roof it's amazing so um when jwes first came to America with her family
01:00:21
yeah Statue of Liberty they were in LA and I go let's go get some pizza so we
01:00:27
went and got deep dish pizza from Chicago from that place in Echo Park mosa or Masa Masa you been there oh kid
01:00:35
great right yeah it's delicious we get the pizza I'm going [ __ ] yeah on their
01:00:41
side they probably ate one piece and they were just like this why were they
01:00:46
so sad because they don't they that's not the kind of pizza they have in the Philippines oh right deep dishes not
01:00:53
they don't have that for sure but they have what do you have they like they have round in that sort of classy place just really thin pizza right like New
01:01:00
York style yeah but you didn't like the deep dish at first I didn't now you do
01:01:06
see look at why now because you keep buying it over see I'm conditioning her yeah what
01:01:13
else can you condition her to do oh I can condition her to do a lot of things right like what um get a job pay rent
01:01:20
maybe I think you should start paying rent that's my opinion you know you know what I would like to do is this just a very simp simple thing just you know
01:01:27
what you want our relationship to get better do you okay I don't know how many times I have
01:01:34
to tell you yesterday I get in the car and there's one bar
01:01:39
left on the gas tank every time she [ __ ] uses the car dude fill up the tank we've done this before how come you
01:01:45
haven't filled up the [ __ ] tank do you not know how to get gas I do I just get
01:01:52
tired you think Bobby doesn't get tired Bobby's got to go do work after after we
01:01:57
pod he's got to go do shows so now what it's full tank right now yeah I did
01:02:03
that lady what were you going to say I know right say it it's your birthday
01:02:09
[ __ ] there it is you know what you [ __ ] [ __ ] yep it's my [ __ ] I filled
01:02:14
it yep cuz I'm responsible every time I have to [ __ ] fill the [ __ ] tank up preach right and let me say something
01:02:21
right now in your buggies or whatever you have in the Philippines mhm let it out right I don't know what you feel in
01:02:27
those right you probably have little little filipinos with little wheels you
01:02:33
know I mean underneath the engine you know what I mean like 15 of them going you know I mean and but we use gasoline in that's right light her up yeah we
01:02:39
lose gasoline light her up yeah yeah I will right you [ __ ] [ __ ]
01:02:45
yeah you [ __ ] feel the [ __ ] tank next time you all right you ungrateful let it out [ __ ] yes do you
01:02:54
understand right you don't don't pay nothing you pay nothing give it to her Bob yeah yeah do
01:03:00
you I don't oh now now what is that about now you've what you there's
01:03:05
something going on in your head are you getting angry right now no okay you know
01:03:10
what you look like your mom right now that makes her angry you remember how she roasted you a couple episodes
01:03:16
ago she called me a fat ugly
01:03:22
stupid yeah so now it's your turn to roast her it's your birthday all right cuz we're get to blank it out we'll beep
01:03:28
out whatever you don't want to leave in you roast her okay light her up dude you
01:03:34
[ __ ] mhm hairless cave
01:03:39
woman mud mud monkey mud monkey dirt
01:03:45
squirting dirt squirting [ __ ] Neanderthal [ __ ] eating right [ __ ]
01:03:54
hairless turd [ __ ] you is that good that's so good
01:03:59
good right yeah that's what you are do me do me do me it's your birthday goaded [ __ ] mutant you know what I mean
01:04:07
demons spawning [ __ ] Cy eating
01:04:12
right you [ __ ] Spanish [ __ ] mole eating [ __ ] drool [ __ ] you I mean you
01:04:21
[ __ ] gigantism titty [ __ ] hoarding titty hoing titty maker piece of garbage
01:04:29
human pretty good right feels good man yeah doesn't it feel good it feels good
01:04:34
to do it she got it out she got it out yeah these guys compiled some comedians for Rudy to roast cuz she roasted you
01:04:39
Rudy you want to roast Comics that we're friends with and see what you can come up with I'll try let me see Pete bring it up Pete decided that she was so good
01:04:47
at roasting you she did I'm not going to lie she lit you the [ __ ] up oh I loved it though I mean it felt really good I L
01:04:53
it I loved it all right let's see who she can roast go it's got to be rapid roast fast H I
01:05:00
just want to describe him yeah that's what roast is describe him
01:05:06
okay uh wrinkly oh good yeah he's a wrinkly bastard yeah thin lips yeah yeah
01:05:15
you wrinkly thin lip hairy hairy yeah and one
01:05:21
more pale skin pale skin SK next say next next next how about this one be
01:05:28
careful it's their holiday come on say it go ahead come on
01:05:33
you yeah say yeah you can say want because
01:05:39
we're going to blank out whatever BL out whatever bad yeah you Jewish that's I mean you could just end
01:05:46
there you could just end there next how about this one yeah fat yeah
01:05:54
mhm I I like BT man all right next you say next you
01:06:00
say next here we go hairless yes chipmunk
01:06:07
yes big eyes big eyes yeah yeah tarer all right know what that is I don't know
01:06:13
what what is that a small monkey oh oh okay [ __ ] what about this she didn't say next you got to let her say next next
01:06:19
yeah this one look at this one he looks weird EX come on come on
01:06:27
you weird weird you you say you remember how you're doing you weird small
01:06:34
headed yes hairless hairless yeah you like hair yeah
01:06:40
yeah stupid face stupid face he's stupid face yeah hit him next go for the throat
01:06:47
go to the throat he's a piece of [ __ ] go for the Thro go for the throat yeah oh no yeah you can light It Go Go
01:06:56
you know what it is you know what it is say it yeah say it what's the first thing that comes in mind say it yeah
01:07:01
what's the first thing comes in mind say it you yes M big yes yeah very big very big can I
01:07:12
say yeah yeah yeah yeah we'll bleep it bleep it we'll bleep it come on Rudy hit him hairry yeah big
01:07:22
nose yes weird yeah well you could also say like
01:07:28
[ __ ] or you can add that stuff too for fun [ __ ] ass [ __ ] [ __ ] ass next
01:07:33
please get it come on get her please get it get her you long face
01:07:40
yeah um [ __ ]
01:07:45
[ __ ] that's it next oh [ __ ] here we go Pete no
01:07:53
eyebrows he doesn't have any eyebrows that's weird that's weird no lips
01:08:00
yeah [ __ ] face yeah another [ __ ] face okay next next do you know who that is no you
01:08:08
don't know who that is he's been on our show he was just at the house Rick Glassman oh that's he doesn't look like
01:08:14
Rick yeah he looks exactly like Rick yeah that looks like Rick all right go
01:08:20
ahead you nerd yeah
01:08:26
[ __ ] big nose thin lips
01:08:33
again um that's it I'm could say this though
01:08:39
um you know why people you're saying thin lips a lot it's just because you're from a big lipped people I just feel
01:08:45
like he doesn't have lips she's not wrong I know she's not wrong but feel it's a bias we all have small lips it is
01:08:52
part of our it's it's one of our white privileges you know who that is the yeah
01:08:58
yeah weird looking yeah uhuh
01:09:04
um I don't like the hair okay okay lesbian hair lesbian hair yeah lesbian
01:09:11
hair I don't like the yeah oh you don't like the smirk so so so so do that smirk
01:09:17
hav smirk hav yeah thick thick neck
01:09:23
thick neck thick neck yeah weirdo yeah yeah next bless you whatever the [ __ ]
01:09:30
that was was that a sneeze yeah I sneeze weird next next damn dude she's all right I like Tom [ __ ] that you have to
01:09:38
roast these guys [ __ ] this piece of [ __ ] I like him look at his look at the head of a [ __ ] penis but it's cute it's a
01:09:46
all right you like him yeah he's nice to you all right [ __ ] fine fine we love him you know who that is no Tony
01:09:53
Hinchcliffe yeah he loves Asians he really does he loves
01:10:01
them yeah he's a real Ally he looks like a mouse
01:10:08
okay but like with a long face yeah okay he has big lips but that's a positive right no cuz
01:10:16
it doesn't look nice on him oh oh you should have thin lips in yeah yeah I get
01:10:21
it yeah yeah yeah so if he has big lips it's bad if he has thin lips it's bad yeah yeah I got it yeah yeah that's it
01:10:27
that's it that was great that's a way to end way to end holy [ __ ] Rudy oh can we show something real fast P bring up the
01:10:34
bring up the or I mean um Andreas bring up the advice or actually I have it I have it listen to this we got something
01:10:41
about about your forkin from last week or two weeks ago whatever I know long forkin solution so I just recently went
01:10:48
through a period where my wiener was trapped behind some excess skin like mine yeah yeah mine was not due to age
01:10:54
since I'm only 28 okay rude he doesn't need to he didn't need to do that yeah yeah rude slamming
01:10:59
long story short that's very funny use of words I was using a penis enlarging device called the quick extender Pro and
01:11:06
all it did was stretch out the length of my penis around my length of the skin around my penis so I was stuck with a
01:11:12
lot more skin than when I started with the same siiz penis I've been to a doctor and I'm now scheduled for a circumcision to bring my pecker back to
01:11:18
the original picture he didn't include a picture and by back in the picture I
01:11:23
mean not trapped behind the skin it's a bad joke I have a couple of tricks to you I use to keep the the head from
01:11:29
sinking back into my penis skin so there is a community that's like you you're not alone there's a bunch of guys I
01:11:35
didn't think I was the only one in the world well but I'm just I try okay first of all I was trying to be comforting and let you know that there is some other
01:11:41
guys out there that have some penis problems and uh so this but he he's going to go through surgery though you
01:11:46
think I need surgery but if I what I would do first is I would go get one of these Pro penis the quick extender Pro
01:11:51
penis machine so at least you get a bigger penis before you get surgery cuz you got got to get it extended before you clip it down why it's already
01:11:57
extended the skin you don't have enough to work with I'm saying swell how do you know this about your penis yeah I've
01:12:03
seen it oh that's right yeah there's not much there so then I think we should buy you thise don't say that in that way
01:12:08
though there's not much there it's not is it small it's not small it's but it's not big just be real with me your penis
01:12:16
for your height and weight and and um ethnic background is probably
01:12:23
average okay I'll take that that's fine I'll take that but but but when your penis is being buried in its own skin
01:12:29
we're worried so we're going to buy this for you yeah if you will use it will you prise use it I'll use it the penis
01:12:35
enlarging kit it comes with a DVD okay do you have a DVD player no okay well we'll have to get you DD bu me a DVD
01:12:41
player as well but the results are guaranteed so we want you to use the penis and larg kit okay okay maybe one
01:12:46
yeah I do want you to use it though it does work you feed your feed your body feed your penis get penis biger okay I'll do it yes all right anyway thank
01:12:54
you for let her let let let her take us out we actually have it on the soundboard so all of us look into the
01:13:00
camera and let her do it on the soundboard go ahead smile big thank you for being a bad friend perfect perfect
01:13:07
that's so
01:13:12
good why is your [ __ ] thumb blue is that like a David CH thing shut up man
01:13:17
it is isn't it it's David this is the dumbest thing I've ever what is it then why the [ __ ] is your finger because it's it's there's got Stu there's stuff on it
01:13:24
I'm trying to cover it so you put thumbnail I mean nail polish on it yeah why why don't you just leave it alone
01:13:31
cuz I it's my body I can do whatever the [ __ ] I want with but why nail polish because it was just sitting there I live with a bunch of girls yeah right I think
01:13:40
we're losing you no you going to go Bruce Jenner Caitlyn Jenner on no oh I
01:13:46
get a yellow one I get a yellow one some things are on purpose
01:13:56
y
01:14:01
woo woo
