00:00:00
you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude i'm an asian dude
00:00:06
you two are disgusting well you two or something we're bad friends we got another mexican in the studio i
00:00:14
don't think he's he's not mexican yes he is mexican because his name is carlos
00:00:18
what's your last name carlos herrera that's ju that's not jewels um that was
00:00:25
andres herrera it's herrera is gets adopted by you know i mean white people he's still toshi mama mama fuko
00:00:48
kiki i know he's still white though if he was raised in a white house in like
00:00:52
kalamazoo michigan he's still toshi makagoo he's he's still he's still gonna be japanese oh that's
00:00:58
true yeah you can't take that away you can't take that away can you roll your
00:01:01
arse let me hear it say carlos carlos i can't do it with my tongue i could do
00:01:09
with my throat carlos carlos [Laughter] all right that's perfect dude you guys
00:01:46
are bragging man well yeah we got a new one guess what i saw last night it was really good man i love it i love that
00:02:04
you know i realized when i was watching i go i could never be james bond danny craig yeah now do you think he's the
00:02:11
best james bond yeah you think over connery yeah really yeah wow what do you say fans
00:02:21
because the best one you think dan you're crazy because i don't look at it
00:02:24
i never looked at conrad i was a kid i never really said i would suck that guy's dick you wouldn't i would [ __ ]
00:02:29
say no why is everything gay like why does the arrow always go to there that's a you
00:02:33
thing i know i gotta stop doing that i know so i never looked at sean connery i want i i would like hug him
00:02:41
you're sexually attracted to daniel craig i'm not sexually attracted to him
00:02:44
but it's he's just one of those commanding guys that would be like you know
00:02:48
do you know who these guys are i know the latest james bond he's hot he's hot oh so you like him you
00:02:58
think daniel craig is hot yeah yeah yeah see he is he's handsome okay the best one looking one was roger
00:03:04
moore right he's traditionally the most sex like the most sexy yeah roger marvel
00:03:08
i don't know look at that he's a mega babe this guy yeah i know but his face is old
00:03:15
now go to roger moore adultery too right yeah but roger mole had he had more of like a
00:03:23
james bond you think no he's not handsome at all to you that's a bad photo switch the photo how was that go
00:03:29
to the fourth one in fourth up yeah that's a great photo no he's not handsome
00:03:34
he's he's that handsome wow wow i like what about roger daltrey that's his name
00:03:40
what was the fourth there was one there was another one that did one movie no can you imagine that they were like
00:03:58
roger we're thinking about offering you james bond yeah yeah no [ __ ] they're
00:04:02
like no [ __ ] never you're so [ __ ] ugly yeah look at how long that chin is
00:04:07
why the long face raj he must have got it tucked look at the first picture it's almost like he pulled
00:04:11
his he's almost like he's gonna combo the role right it's like i'm james bond
00:04:15
right teenage let wasteland that would actually be that'd be cool when he's beating someone up yeah
00:04:24
oh yeah yeah he could say while he's shooting yeah that's sick yeah all right
00:04:28
show the show um show uh uh uh uh yeah uh t timothy dalton dalton is it dalton timothy dalton is the name yeah that's
00:04:38
area that's another what do you think about this one is this guy a handsome bond yeah oh you like this guy you like
00:04:43
this guy interesting that was a good one do you like his butt chin yeah it's cute there was only four then
00:04:49
right there was um sean connery this guy dalton did two movies right here i think
00:04:54
one or two one two more did a bunch right right and then daniel's done three or something
00:05:00
daniel's on five maybe five yeah yeah he's on a bunch i'm pierce brosnan oh
00:05:04
pierce brosnan oh yeah don't forget pierce bro all right bring up bring up the pierce yeah yeah
00:05:09
do you know he you know pierce brosnan has a um uh he's got a uh what is it called a prince
00:05:14
harry or prince william what's it called when you pierce your penis it feels good it's called a feels good
00:05:20
yeah he's got one do you think he's he's hot he's really come on
00:05:25
you know what i love about him too that he's just no but his wife is like you
00:05:29
know a heavier woman and he doesn't care what does that even mean we've we've done this before
00:05:35
i'm sorry actually type in pierce bros and wife heavier woman doesn't even care
00:05:39
[Laughter] i feel so gross saying it that picture is not fun for either of them yeah this is like
00:05:50
a yeah this is like i mean it's 90 now i know but nobody wants to have pictures
00:05:54
of them on how about this no more pictures on the beach yeah do you go to you know what they just i just saw a
00:05:58
photo of of leonardo dicaprio on the beach i love that one the beach photo there's a new one there's a new one it's
00:06:03
even sadder oh i like the older ones just do on beach it's like the saddest thing
00:06:08
no that's the no that's the old one i think oh the new one is the far right
00:06:11
maybe this one yeah what yeah that's fine no it is but why he doesn't want that on the internet
00:06:18
take the cap off you're in the water dog no it's not enough you like the cap i
00:06:23
think he look he's cool cap is cool yeah yeah but i mean it's all it's got like a
00:06:27
von dutch hat too you know what i mean he's that's a right yeah he's got a little tan line in
00:06:33
the bottom well it's got a bikini he's burnt first of all he's burnt he's
00:06:36
burned as [ __ ] yeah you didn't think a guy like that could burn yeah like go
00:06:39
back to the previous page pierce pierce oh that one no how about that one right there that's the old one right where
00:06:44
he's hanging out with um what's his name yeah who is that by the way that's the guy from uh speed racer
00:06:50
emiliano emil hirsch uh he's gone right he he died no he's not he's alive oh he is
00:06:56
yeah i never know anymore who dies yeah anyway you don't want those pictures on
00:07:01
go back real quick to the page with pierce brosnan and i got to tell you even i feel bad for even saying it i
00:07:06
know but it's already out there yeah yeah i mean i'm i shouldn't say it but we're
00:07:11
all thinking it when you look at that photo what look at that size of her heart oh look at the size of her teeth
00:07:22
i mean she has huge teeth yeah she has big teeth i mean those got to be so heavy those teeth got to weigh you down
00:07:27
yeah there's no way she's never herniated disc like me but her stomach is as big as her teeth
00:07:33
you see what i did was i replaced tits with teeth so what you would do is replace a stomach with another s a body
00:07:39
part that was asked that would you know rewind it all right i mean look at the size of her toes
00:07:47
her toes are as big as her teeth her i'm replacing her stomach s with an s oh with the ass toes with teeth tits
00:07:54
with toes go ahead i mean look at the size of her teeth right look at the size of her
00:08:03
sack her sack look at the size of her sack if we call a stomach a sack yeah he got
00:08:13
yeah look at the size of this look at her sockets [Laughter] her eye sockets oh her socket's big yeah
00:08:20
her eye sockets are big i mean that just looks there's no way that's comfortable that looks painful
00:08:26
and i mean that mean her teeth her teeth look painful yeah so wait a minute without telling us and ever don't spoil
00:08:32
her yeah is the movie worth going to see yeah it is it's still good real good
00:08:39
and the reason why it's good is i don't know what's going on you're totally confused i don't know
00:08:44
what's going on who's who i don't know what the the factions and organizations
00:08:49
i don't know who m is i don't know who mal mulpenny is i don't know who mo penny is
00:08:58
i don't know who brad williams was who is you don't cue you no i just you forget about this
00:09:04
stuff so you're just kind of going george is cute you know that right he's
00:09:06
cute when it comes to here wait wait wait when it comes to this podcast you think
00:09:12
you're a [ __ ] double oh seven 100 i hate the fact that you [ __ ] designated yourself
00:09:21
yeah yeah what am i then um uh what's a little guy in goldeneye uh with the the short little [ __ ] the
00:09:27
best character you could play because he was so low to the ground so [ __ ] [ __ ] up what was his name yeah
00:09:31
no i'm the [ __ ] japanese dude with the [ __ ] hat why what's the guy from [ __ ] goldeneye 7
00:09:37
in the nintendo 64 game that was low to the ground carlos knows carlos odd job odd job you're odd job you're hot job
00:09:45
i don't like how excited you are yeah that's who i am you're hundred
00:09:49
percent not a child yeah my job and he was so good to get in the game because he was so low to the ground you couldn't
00:09:54
kill him i am odd i am uh that is 100 you and that's me yeah yeah and that's pete
00:10:02
that's you me and pete yeah and she's cute she's cute yeah she's like the
00:10:07
weapons person yes yeah yeah well who is fancy i don't know but one i don't
00:10:10
really like can i not be hot you have to be this couldn't line up any better
00:10:15
he doesn't have a prevalent part in the movie yes he's in one movie yeah you get what 20 movies
00:10:22
i mean one movie it's kind of similar to real life yeah yeah yeah hello hollywood
00:10:26
all right so your odd job there's no way to get out of this i'm sorry because he's a fat
00:10:32
asian guy me too what else do you like all right did you go with him did you see no no i started with gene oh you did
00:10:41
my buddy do you have no interest in going to see stuff like that no but i want to watch venom oh that's
00:10:47
because you have a crush on on th yeah you do the first one was weird i still i liked it but i i thought it
00:10:54
was a little weird i like tom hardy a lot he's great a lot yeah so i think this one will be better maybe i think
00:11:00
they probably worked out some kinks yeah um they're doing a matrix nine too do
00:11:04
you see the what the new matrix no yeah they're doing a new matrix they already did it's coming on december who
00:11:11
is it is it kiana yeah yeah and is laurence fishburne in it no really no who is it but his um
00:11:20
porn star daughter's in it what kidding no wait is it yeah who's in it the same
00:11:29
girl the lady in it what's the ladies name carrie moss gary ambos yeah hurry and moses who else is in it
00:11:39
well from the trailer i saw can i carry a mouse keanu that's it that's all i could recognize
00:11:44
did the trailer look good it looked pretty good but it's it's almost but
00:11:48
they're back in the matrix like kendall's like older now he's like you know man i got a job well like did
00:11:53
you watch bill and ted uh the new one was it good i watched it on an airplane bad and at the first i would be at the
00:11:59
beginning i was like this is gonna suck yeah and then at some point i was like this is exactly what it's supposed to be
00:12:05
it's supposed to be fun and fake and over-the-top and kitschy right i liked it i actually thought it was fun
00:12:11
i watched it on a plane but it was a plane movie so you know i don't know it's not going to win an award what are
00:12:14
you what are you doing by the way do you know madonna was offered that role in the matrix
00:12:19
and she turned it down with the carry on my support she said no no chance well she thought the movie was
00:12:23
going to bomb she was like no piano was fourth on the list on the list i think it went up to johnny depp first tom
00:12:29
cruise tom cru a bunch of people and they're like nah idiots i can't believe that but you know
00:12:34
what's cool is like sean connery right he turned down gandalf unreal and then so this is what he is so
00:12:41
i swear to god this has happened that's what happened so he gets caught he's a gondolf [ __ ]
00:12:46
that you know i mean give me an oscar [ __ ] that right then [ __ ] lord of the rings it becomes a hit so he calls his
00:12:52
agent goes i need you know what i mean i need something you know like is some sort of superhero type of sci-fi right
00:12:59
so he that's when he did league of extraordinary man not being really he he thought that it
00:13:04
just doesn't matter what you just gotta do one just gotta do one right and then
00:13:08
that [ __ ] ate it yeah yeah so he just is he dead he's dead yes yeah he's dead yeah we
00:13:15
should go we should play that game who's dead remember that we were so bad at
00:13:18
that you and i were like forty percent on no i know who's dead now really yeah
00:13:22
i've been reading are you doing more reading cause when you're when you turn
00:13:25
50 you look up who's dead because you're next yeah i think i'm next what do you think it would say at the do
00:13:30
you think you would get to well you wouldn't do you wouldn't get the academy awards memorandum would you
00:13:35
get it at the emmys that you think have you ever been on a show that's been nominated
00:13:40
i don't like your tone i haven't either i'm not i'm not i'm just saying i
00:13:43
wouldn't make it i know but i just don't like your tone would you make it on the
00:13:45
emmys in memory no you wouldn't i wouldn't even even if comedy central had
00:13:49
one i wouldn't make that one you know sometimes they put up like a gaffer on there and they're like who did
00:13:54
that guy know like oh so it's like when it because norm mcdonald's is still up there
00:14:00
yeah rest in peace yeah how long do you think yours bit would be up there at the
00:14:04
comedy store yeah uh probably like split between the early show and the late show they'd have to
00:14:10
take a time no really how long honestly a day at two days i don't think so you'd be a weaker
00:14:16
a week yeah you'd get a month i think i would get a week we'd both get a week who gets longer than a week then
00:14:22
i don't know i think led more bigger people i i don't know like but i've been
00:14:26
but see normal wasn't it norm wasn't like always like he performed that what
00:14:31
10 times he wasn't a store guy i've been there i've performed in that whole life
00:14:36
i'm not even kidding probably 6 000 times well between that and san diego yeah
00:14:42
thousands of times you would i think you what if they give you a week and a day because of your your your special i want
00:14:48
six months that's insane i want six months well they don't even put up the
00:14:52
names anymore do they do they put up names i feel like now the store doesn't
00:14:55
even display names who's there i haven't seen i've been no they haven't
00:14:58
done that long time no it's usually now best of or can i just say another thing
00:15:03
that i saw what did you say midnight mass oh the movie midnight mask it's a tv
00:15:09
show on netflix oh duncan trussell's thing no what is that not his thing no that's not his
00:15:15
thing man i do you guys know what midnight mass is yeah yeah yeah duncan's not in it
00:15:24
thank you carlos no no what's duncan's thing called that is called it's
00:15:27
i don't even know who you know duncan trussell oh yeah look up duncan trussell
00:15:30
netflix show real fast just so i know i'm not crazy yeah what is this called
00:15:37
mid midnight gospel sorry it was so [ __ ] far off midnight mass all you guys can suck my
00:15:44
dick it sounds like it wasn't you of anything i just never [ __ ] heard of it yeah but the way you came at
00:15:49
me when i said you it sounded like it wasn't even close you attacked all right so what was midnight mass was
00:16:00
it good you [ __ ] it up was it good jewels have you seen this um i'm planning to watch it yeah plan out plan
00:16:06
on it so she does nothing i don't know what you do i don't know who you are to the show
00:16:14
people just love you yeah yeah they're wrong they're obsessed all right so what is
00:16:20
this so anyway hi i couldn't talk about it yeah yeah hi can i say hi first hello
00:16:30
let's start our energy over i think that's what it is i'm having so much fun
00:16:33
i think carlos coming in you know i mean tell me about midnight mass i will in my
00:16:38
own time all right all right i don't like being thrown or pushed into something okay okay so i just want to
00:16:43
talk about my relation to you right now right and i want to say dude that you're one of my best friends
00:16:51
you're one of my best friends i'm being real me too and i want to say this also
00:16:54
how is your family good how's your family good it's good great and everything's fine in the house yeah
00:17:01
good the dog's healthy oh i forgot about the dog he died it's a girl okay yeah she's fine congratulations
00:17:09
yeah she's yeah so um you have a good week [Music] just let me do do what it's my podcast
00:17:17
too i had an okay it's my podcast too i'm i was trying to lead you back to
00:17:20
midnight and i will do it in my own way yes ma'am okay i did have a good week
00:17:23
good and and uh i got sick and my bad oh that's right messed up what'd you get
00:17:29
i had an infected midnight mass is um i want to do it in my own time okay okay it's one of those shows where you turn
00:17:37
when you when you turn it on you it's you go i don't know what this is and i don't
00:17:43
think i like it but it shot so well and it's still compelling that you just go
00:17:48
through it you watch the first one you're like you know because it seems like um are the actors good amazing
00:17:54
everyone from from cinematography to direction everything is amazing but it's
00:17:58
one of those feelings of like is this like lost in the sense that like nothing really means anything you know i mean
00:18:04
it's just like these mythological scares something flying in the sky they never
00:18:09
explain it this and that right but by the third episode what happens i don't want to give it away
00:18:14
but when you're watching then once you figure out what it is you go i love it yeah you know you
00:18:22
really get in yeah so in the beginning you're like i don't know what this is
00:18:26
it's there's some weird surreal moments in it and these quirky characters and
00:18:30
this and that but then after third or fourth episode when you it all goes you kind of oh
00:18:36
this is this kind of movie oh it's a movie a tv show tv yeah yeah how many episodes and i'm going to give
00:18:42
it away now are you going to reveal it i want to so bad you can't because i know it's so new i know
00:18:49
do you know any of the actors in it like do you recognize anybody got et's in it
00:18:54
elliot i mean no elliot from et oh he is yeah what's his name henry mike flanagan
00:19:01
no that's the director and a writer oh mike flanagan yeah he does all those yeah
00:19:09
um yeah everyone was great in it especially the the main priest he was amazing but the show is really good it's just a
00:19:17
slow burn but i i think by the third and fourth episode you get it and you're like this is
00:19:22
amazing what's that kid's name that was in e.t henry what is his name henry i don't remember
00:19:29
what's his name they don't elliot elliot was the name from e.t henry thomas henry
00:19:34
did i say that right i said henry right you did yeah henry have you seen the tape of him crying to spielberg no
00:19:39
you've never seen that on youtube i don't want to see it that little blood
00:19:42
cry yeah do it it's the best oh he's audition yeah oh i bet it's great she's
00:19:47
a great actor spielberg spielberg is like i don't want to give it away but you'll
00:19:51
see it's powerful did you ever see e.t kiddo no no there it is it's the first one oh my
00:19:59
god doordash oh guy uh you know what i want to say say it i'm going to tell you
00:20:05
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00:20:11
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00:20:18
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00:20:24
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00:20:29
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00:20:34
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00:23:31
you go all right okay so no no no let's let's don't play play yet so
00:23:36
i just want to um i'll set it up for jules let's just set it up so oh yeah
00:23:40
she's never seen the movie it's not just the auditioning process yeah so
00:23:45
there's probably nine kids maybe it's not a it's not a cattle call but
00:23:50
they probably have a five i think at this point they probably got three let's
00:23:53
go let's say three let's say four okay all right i don't want you to win i know yeah so
00:24:00
let's just save down two or three two or three okay let's go back to probably
00:24:03
right right and who knows he could have been first he could be last he could be in the
00:24:07
middle true but he probably waited there right and you know it's like at this point spielberg had already done
00:24:15
close encounters jaws huge director huge opportunities so there's a lot of pressure i think tons but i think as an
00:24:23
adult you take the pressure on in a different way than kids because they don't know
00:24:28
what's at stake kind of we right when we were let's say you're an unknown actor
00:24:35
and you're about to audition for spielberg and you're poor right and then you're like this could
00:24:40
change my life trajectory so all those things come into play when we go in and read yeah he doesn't have to pay rent he
00:24:47
doesn't he doesn't think about those now you know but i'm sure he still feels a
00:24:52
little nervousness but now he goes in for steven spielberg and he reads yeah and this is what he does i
00:25:00
haven't seen it the government is bigger than you are elliot and i i really i have all the
00:25:07
authority to take him and i gotta tell you i'm gonna take him you can't take him well
00:25:16
i'm afraid i have to son you can't take him away but it's not my choice the president
00:25:23
asked me to come here and get him i don't care what the president says he's
00:25:26
my best friend and you can't take it away well it's it's real possible elliot that
00:25:33
he'll come back and you can have him again but we just want to talk to him and see where he came from and try to
00:25:39
find out about other planets and he he probably is the key to a lot of things that we have to know
00:25:45
but how do i know you're gonna bring him back well i'm afraid son i i can't guarantee you
00:25:52
i think he's afraid of you that may be true but the government tells me what to do and i
00:26:00
just follow their orders well he's mine and he lives with me and he likes me
00:26:06
and he wants to stay here he likes it here well we wouldn't hurt him or anything all we want to do is talk to
00:26:12
him but i don't want you to take him away you know i've had to talk to your mom
00:26:18
about it and she knows that the government has the right to do it and who told you all this
00:26:27
well we learned about it we know that he's somewhere around here i mean i do have a search warrant i
00:26:34
could look around the house tell me you keep that spielberg talking well i'll tell you what
00:26:42
if you let me talk to him for five minutes i'll tell my boss that you can keep it
00:26:48
would that be okay with you if i could just talk to him for five minutes would you feel better then
00:26:54
would you be happy if you could keep him if all i had to do was talk to him for five minutes
00:26:58
that might make your whole day huh might make your whole life huh and then he'd be your friend forever and
00:27:04
i wouldn't take him away okay okay kid you got the job can you believe that okay kid you got
00:27:16
the job and then probably that's one of the most but imagine now okay kids you got two
00:27:21
kids waiting to read right and they're sitting there you know they're they're with their mom right
00:27:27
right going through you know i don't want you to take her take him away i don't want you to take him away
00:27:32
you know why you should have tear mom i'm gonna do it when i'm in there okay
00:27:36
take him away take him away right this people comes out you guys can go home what
00:27:42
right and then they just get do you think they read or no yeah okay kid you got the job if spielberg said
00:27:50
that so confidently it was like that was it it was over there was a guy that like so mork and
00:27:56
mindy yeah when they auditioned mork right so did a guy an actor wrote a book about this
00:28:04
about he was right after robin williams oh audition for morgan right so he's at the you know i mean
00:28:12
network or whatever and he's in the lobby and you know robin williams is in there
00:28:16
for an hour you know i mean and like the walls are shaking he's killing so bad
00:28:23
and i never read the book but i can only imagine him going wait wait this is this
00:28:27
is funny the guy has the script and the walls are moving as he's reading this
00:28:31
laughter he's just shaking against him yeah you know what i would say i go anybody have a pen yeah here you go and
00:28:38
i would go to the sign and [ __ ] and just cross my name out just go just go home
00:28:41
well that's the kind of thing you couldn't compete there's no way it was
00:28:44
born it was his role anyway he like with he was born to do that well first of all why audition offer
00:28:51
yeah but also because i think they just wanted to see him play oh yeah i have a story about morgan mindy i cannot share
00:28:56
the act the actor who told me the story it's private but i can i'll tell the story
00:29:02
but she worked on the show as many people did and was an actor on the show and she
00:29:08
said you know robin was you know he was partied out all the time yeah yeah i love it and he showed up to
00:29:15
set one day and she was new and he comes up and he's like well you're gonna be
00:29:18
with us you're gonna be working with us and he's in character but they're not
00:29:21
rolling and then she's like oh yeah i'm gonna be working with you and he goes ah yeah
00:29:26
welcome to whatever the land was i can't remember the name where he was from what
00:29:29
was it called he was from uh i knew it was all i know [ __ ] what was it whatever
00:29:32
he's like uh where'd i come from uh we did a little bit of this and he honked her tits
00:29:37
i swear to god yeah and he and he grabbed her hand he goes and some of this and then smacked his pen like
00:29:42
smacked himself on the penis with her hand and then he goes good day and then ran
00:29:46
away she told me the story i was like are you [ __ ] serious yeah like it was weird it was wild and weird back then
00:29:52
yeah he was also laced up on coke oh i saw a richard pryor he was in a movie and they did behind the scenes and he's
00:30:00
like literally just smoking crap i mean back then and how they just let you do it yeah it was chaos yeah yeah it
00:30:08
was [ __ ] chaos back then smoking crack i mean imagine that now it's like you're
00:30:16
a minute late are you kidding me [ __ ] a sag rep will yell at you yeah if you you know like look nowadays when i
00:30:23
change in the trailer yeah they you know sometimes you go to wardrobe changes you change in front of
00:30:27
people yeah now i haven't no it's not like that anymore yeah they don't even want to see you in your
00:30:33
underwear because they're like what if you get offended that i see you changing
00:30:36
that all this stuff it's [ __ ] nuts yeah even i was still in hollywood when you could
00:30:42
do weird stuff like i would show up in michael rosenbaum's dressing room because we did a movie that movie
00:30:48
and we would just be naked in there right right well you couldn't you could do it to a guy friend you still you
00:30:53
can't do that now though to a guy friend i had just met him that day well that's
00:30:57
weird we didn't have a rapport i just kind of was there naked right okay you both
00:31:03
laugh right but my point is you can't do that now no yeah no not now no did i tell you about
00:31:10
that one time where i get i what happened to me and splitting up together where i um i think i told i must have
00:31:15
told you where i had a six o'clock in the morning call time i have to tell you this no
00:31:20
i had six in the morning call time and i had this day where it was like just a conversation scene between me and jenna
00:31:27
fisher right so she had a six five probably 5 30 in the morning because she's a girl yeah they do makeup
00:31:32
so it's like 10 30. you're late no i'm asleep my god i'm asleep at home
00:31:42
when i was living on my beachwood condo right and i hear someone in my [ __ ] living room
00:31:49
right like what the [ __ ] i think i grabbed the katana i have a katana a sword i just bring the sword out
00:31:55
like running there i go what this guy from the show they've been shooting they're doing all the jenna's coverage
00:32:02
where are you it's 10 30. and i go they sent some pokemon what what i'm freaked the [ __ ] out oh my god i was
00:32:13
freaking the [ __ ] out right and he goes just go now i i was in like whatever i
00:32:17
was sleeping in right so i have one slipper on and i go and so they did all her coverage and
00:32:25
this the worst was did she stay for your cover for you when it flipped good but the worst part was is
00:32:33
i'm doing my coverage now it's like one yeah right she's at home no she's still
00:32:38
there because she had other scenes like i don't know okay but she's in the
00:32:40
dressing room right but i'm doing my coverage and i could see behind a tree like like something like this right
00:32:47
um [Laughter] i always use the space i could see the show runner right [Laughter]
00:33:04
just staring you down the whole day just so angry yeah yeah or like if we'd moved
00:33:11
if we moved shot move shots right she would just come behind from a desk and come up like this
00:33:17
like she was all over the place you [ __ ] up and then this is what she does uh her name is emily catnik does she
00:33:25
like you now she's the best but she goes i remember at the end of the day i'm just sitting there and i'm hunched
00:33:33
over and she walks up from behind me right she puts her hand on my shoulder assault
00:33:41
no no and she looks at me and i look at her and she gave me a look she didn't say anything
00:33:49
but it was like i answered her even though she said yeah yeah it won't happen again um
00:33:55
it was that look like by the way that's i'm gonna let this go that's power but
00:33:59
yeah it was like a jedi thing wait and i'll never do that again she rested she
00:34:03
squeezed my shoulder and she walked away the next day was everything was fine right but it's like if this was the 70s
00:34:11
i could show up for a week not show up yeah it didn't matter yeah and come back
00:34:15
with coke on my face yeah i mean and they're like where were you what are you
00:34:21
we're doing a show let's go let's roll you're in let's go but like stars could
00:34:25
like get away with [ __ ] back in the day it was wild yeah but now it's like
00:34:29
everything's just because number one so there's so many there's so many jobs
00:34:35
now yeah right that not one job is gonna make or break you right yeah that's true no because
00:34:42
there's a thousand things you know you've seen like i you know i'll turn on
00:34:46
like you know youtube watch trailers you'll see what's wrong what what'd you do i had something in my
00:34:52
eye oh don't do that man keep talking i don't like what you just did man i just did this there was
00:34:58
something in my eye no that was a [ __ ] it's some sort of like way of like going
00:35:02
move on no don't do that man that was nothing you do [ __ ] like that where you shrug your
00:35:09
shoulders when i'm talking and it's like it's like come on sucks are you projecting do you think what
00:35:15
you're about to say sucks yeah okay i knew where i was going i didn't know
00:35:21
where you were going either i didn't either right but don't do that because
00:35:24
i'm trying to create something here man okay next time you know you're projecting so next time
00:35:29
what does projecting mean it's something you actually think and feel you're
00:35:31
saying as if i'm saying it yeah but don't do that so next time am i projecting that yes
00:35:36
so next time you think you're telling a story why don't you go like this to me
00:35:41
you should bail just go like this when you're like i'm watching trailers on
00:35:43
youtube yeah and then i'll move to something else okay but so when you when i'm doing
00:35:49
so i'm talking oh i'll give you an example let's just play it out right
00:35:53
so man can i tell you this other story yeah you know one time my mom she used to like to go to the korean grocery
00:35:58
store in koreatown right and um she wandered around and you know you know she didn't know
00:36:07
so okay this week on bad friends says that yeah we'll shift which that's very
00:36:12
good we'll shift to something else so then you give me a hand signal where you
00:36:15
want to move on uh something simple like uh like that when i was no no no no it gets so obvious people can
00:36:22
read it oh i didn't know yeah yeah like give me something that like a simple hand signal uh what if you just
00:36:29
kind of do this you know like you know how detectives from the olden days about this
00:36:34
that's that's the [ __ ] white summer supremacist this is yeah this is this is
00:36:38
a a-okay okay dude this is white supremacy how is this white supremacist dude you know what happened to that guy
00:36:45
in san diego prove to me that this is white surprise i'll give you i'll give
00:36:48
you so i can't say okay anymore no really yeah i can never go somebody goes hey how was
00:36:54
the food and i go no one does that yeah i do it all the time this no that okay that's white supremacist
00:37:00
why is this this is white supremacy yeah because they'd be like hey should we burn the
00:37:05
cross and they're like yeah but that's just saying okay right this is not giving you the go ahead to
00:37:10
burn the cross okay this was yeah the go-ahead yeah and this was let's give an
00:37:16
example okay how about this why don't you go walk up to 50 cent right and just do this in front of him
00:37:21
see what happens well what's the context i'm not just gonna do it out of nowhere
00:37:24
you're okay if he's like hey hey how's the party and i'm like he'll get it i don't think he would what
00:37:31
do you think he's gonna think i said i think when you do this a gun will go through here like this i think that's
00:37:36
what's gonna happen all right so why would 50 cent why would i have 50 cents just give me a
00:37:42
[ __ ] symbol nothing like this no circle all right i'll give you just i'm
00:37:48
just gonna can i just say that i'll go let me just say this okay let me just
00:37:50
let me talk okay okay this guy that worked at san diego gas and electric right a year ago
00:37:58
okay mexican guy right union job right he's driving home to go to he has a truck you know one of those
00:38:07
sd whatever san diego light i don't know what it's called and he's at a stop sign right and when
00:38:14
he's driving he likes to stick his hand out the window and because he he works with his hands and he and he
00:38:20
has like arthritis or something so he likes to like kind of stretch out his fingers this actually
00:38:25
happened okay right and he's at a stop sign at the same time there's a blm protest so out the window
00:38:32
he's doing this and then he does this they take a photo of this right a mexican guy this mexican guy doing
00:38:40
this symbol but he's stretching his finger and proof that it's not white
00:38:44
supremacy thank you he gets he lost his job they fired him yes he lost his job because they think a
00:38:54
mexican is a white supremacist look it up he doesn't even think the first word of
00:38:58
the christian area no no he's a mexican guy he lost his job there's got to be something there it's
00:39:04
nothing else he lost his job well let me tell you something yeah if that is true
00:39:09
then it's good to have another one of our mexican brothers on our team then yeah so give me a symbol that's insane
00:39:16
yeah yeah sdg e worker fight over alleged racist gesture says he was cracking his knuckles
00:39:21
it just seems like something's missing here no a mexican guy yes he's mexican
00:39:27
let's see the video that's it that's him now go in it was a photo not a video
00:39:33
so zoom in in the photo oh that does look like he's doing the white supremacy symbol
00:39:38
[Laughter] this dude this is insane his job because he still doesn't have a job
00:39:47
okay what's his name oh it says right there cafferty is a mexican-american says he comes from a
00:39:52
diverse family of all races he's proud of it he's proud of sdg e for taking any
00:39:56
allegations of racism seriously but he wants his job back i'm sure he got his
00:39:59
job back he never did he still doesn't have his job okay go up to find his name
00:40:02
and let's find him and see if we can contact him we'll give him a job here on bad friends
00:40:07
and he can do this all he wants that's his job his job is just to come into scream
00:40:13
every once a while and do that yeah by the way yeah everybody who knows this show that knows obviously we're
00:40:20
making a joke about it but you've got to be a [ __ ] [ __ ] to think a mexican
00:40:24
dude is doing this meaning white supremacy i know you have to be a [ __ ] but we live in that kind of
00:40:29
society people are [ __ ] dumb because it got it became it was trending by the way we are going to find out he is a
00:40:35
white supremacist oh like all no he's not he's because i've seen him in
00:40:38
interview talk he has met his his family is all like you know i mean san diego mexicans
00:40:44
i just think that's that fiesta does this feels insane to me i just don't get
00:40:47
it i know but i'm just saying so don't do this you're doing it now i know i'm
00:40:50
just telling you not to do it i think it's upside down it is upside down oh it
00:40:54
is yeah this is this is okay yeah it is you should have done this then well yeah
00:40:56
then it's fine yeah you shouldn't have done that uh you're doing it again
00:40:59
you've done it three times yeah yeah all right you're right i'm gonna make a meme
00:41:02
give me a give me a symbol that's not obvious that like when you want to move
00:41:06
you want me to jump in to shift the conversation all right here it'll be very very uh subtle yeah
00:41:13
okay good look ahead just a little yeah right it's a move on face okay so but we also need symbols
00:41:23
oh simple for her [Music] oh my god what's your symbol she doesn't talk she doesn't need the
00:41:30
symbol can i do this yeah yeah you can do that that makes sense yeah she does come in with some good ones
00:41:40
hello i'll tell you this right now my my life if my dad was still alive and he saw my
00:41:45
butthole he's not i know but if he was did you tushy your dad's about hold before he died i don't
00:41:49
know but if you saw my butthole right now you go holy moly why is so queen and i would say because it's tushy the
00:41:56
hello i'm being real it's amazing it's a modern bidet company that washes away
00:42:00
even the messiest of shits leaving you with the better cleaner uh butthole than toilet paper alone my
00:42:05
dad's never said holy moly holy moly he's never it's funny to say that when
00:42:09
you look at it so anyway that we have a hello tootsie in in our bathroom here at
00:42:12
the office yeah and i love coming here and just spraying it into my ding dong and it cleans it out it's so good
00:42:20
there's nothing you say you save money on tissue toilet paper right it's good for
00:42:25
the environment yeah i just like the little spritz of water in my tushy because i got to tell you
00:42:30
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00:42:35
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00:43:32
a business i don't think without without ship station i mean they you know we
00:43:35
have merchandise it goes out and we do use the ship station to use it yeah look the holidays are coming up if you're
00:43:40
selling anything online like we do when we sell merch you got to prepare for the
00:43:44
busiest time of the year uh if your business is growing and managing inventory is tough juggling all those
00:43:48
orders you got a lot going on make shipping the easiest part of your day with shipstation we use it here you know
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00:45:01
at the top and enter bad friends ship station make ship happen but we have to also have a symbol in
00:45:07
terms of like you know if i think your story is meandering is it the same symbol
00:45:14
oh we'll just do that for all of us just knock on it out yeah we'll just do that for all right a
00:45:20
little knock a little tap tap on the thing a little tap tap little tap tap yeah let's do let's practice one go
00:45:25
ahead uh i'll i'll start go ahead so last night at the great british baking show oh watching because you know
00:45:32
every week on fridays the new episode comes on right and last night was bread week oh
00:45:41
so anyway loved your show last night oh so what's that what's that move up move on move on okay
00:45:50
i love it what was that even okay so what was i even talking about when you did the
00:45:56
[ __ ] eye thing these guys will know you were saying you were watching trailers on youtube
00:46:00
about what though about how no not one actor has so much power these days because there's too
00:46:07
many jokes all right i just want can i make finish my point though please before you do the eye thing please okay
00:46:12
i'm just saying that there's no there's god you know some days i love you
00:46:23
i really do some days i go i'll wake up and go man i'm so blessed to have
00:46:29
[Laughter] so many good friends like ed right but some days i just literally go i think i
00:46:36
hate him yeah i think today is one of those days good yeah how do you feel about me right now i'm in love with you
00:46:42
more than i've ever been oh why because i'm because you're sweet that annoyed me even more i know wait
00:46:50
tell me though you were watching no actor can you were saying it no i'm just
00:46:53
saying though you can't act like that anymore well look some of those are expendables some of those things are
00:46:58
good right i was honking this woman this is not [ __ ] cool i mean it's a funny story for someone to
00:47:05
tell but you're like that's [ __ ] nuts south korea's next president oh by the
00:47:09
way this is a big win for south korea i want to tell you congratulations this is uh heyo kyung young the
00:47:14
levitating mystic who claims he's got an iq go up he's got an iq up he's
00:47:18
scrolling on the wrong way he's got an iq of 430 and is offering voters 85 000
00:47:24
to vote for him do you vote for this guy yeah he can [ __ ] levitate well if you
00:47:30
can do something that no other human can do i think that's an asset and 85 grand
00:47:35
yeah look at that look at how and there's people there's skeptics on the
00:47:38
internet saying he can't levitate that's him levitating above a mountain i'm
00:47:41
seeing it right now obviously so tell me how that happened and then i'll tell you
00:47:45
yeah exactly um also he's able to and look at look listen he's able to physically remove and replace his hair
00:47:52
at any given time right not only that can i just say it's just based on the photo he loves to punch angels
00:47:59
because look at that fist right he loves to pull punch angels right imagine do it do him in heaven
00:48:05
do him up there levitating punching agent wait i gotta do indian style hold on i gotta
00:48:11
get in there right what's tucker done check it out you have to tell the angel take that and
00:48:23
then they're like they get punched they go take one yeah right you know you know
00:48:27
scroll down on this guy this guy's [ __ ] great i don't know why they don't want to vote for him
00:48:31
yeah people are saying that uh he he said uh he's showing off his flexibility with a kick alongside donald
00:48:39
trump uh and he tells all the observers to look into his eyes to help him levitate
00:48:45
i don't know man this guy seems dope as [ __ ] i think it's i think um this is the
00:48:49
kind of people we should be voting for we've been getting lied to by politicians for all
00:48:54
time and it's so so it's like you know if you can do something you know mystical
00:48:59
like this like this right this guy that's an asset by far right so they say like they say jesus walked on water they
00:49:06
say um gandhi could not eat for you know whatever the [ __ ] a thousand years a thousand years ago
00:49:13
this guy yeah levitate dude the dalai lama yeah what's his thing the dalai lama what's his thing his
00:49:24
thing is he can make crickets disappear out of thin air dude and locusts that's a thing
00:49:31
yeah that's a thing right would you vote would you vote for him if he can levitate see yeah wait that's the thing
00:49:40
though he he would but what's tough about this is he'd have to prove it one time how
00:49:47
does david blaine not run for anything then he could just be like you should vote for me because i can do this and
00:49:52
then yeah disappear into a tank but because you have this is a true thing right you have
00:49:59
if you look at david blaine's videos on youtube and whatever right there's
00:50:02
always r reveal videos of how we did it yeah so like when you see any magician that's why when like
00:50:09
there's certainly it sucks i know but there's certain missions like shin lim
00:50:14
yeah i know shin lim right yeah so shin lim there's some there there's some they
00:50:19
they don't do some reveals on his because they don't know yet right they can't right uh what's uh pen
00:50:24
and teller couldn't figure out yeah yeah that's how good shin lim is but if you
00:50:28
watch david blaine or any other magician that you see on a talent show there's
00:50:32
always reveal videos he's pre some of them i don't think you could find a
00:50:35
reveal for yeah i mean there's this guy named um his name is some oak darby darcy darcy oak darcy oak darcy oh
00:50:45
cute handsome darcy oak is a handsome canadian magician they all kind of look like chris angel yeah yeah ish this dude
00:50:55
did something on pgt obviously put the shirtless one up pete yeah yeah yeah there we go
00:51:00
we obviously wanna say hot right is he hot could he be james bond he looks like he he would hit women
00:51:09
what gives it away the stars going down to his penis on his pelvis yeah yeah this guy's probably a great
00:51:15
guy no he seems very nice he's probably nice why do you think he's gonna hit
00:51:18
women it's just his face it's just his face but he does a thing on stage where he he
00:51:24
can make doves appear this guy yeah right have you seen it oh yeah he does it as an audition on pgt he makes doves
00:51:32
up here then he can make like two dubs appear with two like um cages with two doves in it and stuff
00:51:38
like that seriously yeah yeah that's pretty and then uh he puts the doves all
00:51:41
the doves in a cage and he lifts the cage and there's a woman underneath that
00:51:45
that rises really yeah let's go see any who right you can watch on youtube my point is all those stuff you can i
00:51:53
know how he did it yeah but you can't do it i i'm not going to spend 15 hours a day
00:51:58
for 20 years of my life practicing that's my point that's the only point i
00:52:02
know my point is that i am i i i think it's awesome that he can [ __ ] do it
00:52:06
yeah right but my point is that it's not magic yeah it is magic it's magic that
00:52:11
he was able to spend that much time to figure out how to do it and actually work that's magic i know
00:52:16
that all right what's the next piece you had pete can i just say something oh
00:52:26
why is everything korean right now it's korean do you know what south korean month
00:52:32
all of october it is i've never heard of south korea it is typing in korean for 50 years
00:52:40
what month is south korean celebration month in the united states watch it's [ __ ] october i can't you don't
00:52:45
know that it's my birthday month what does it say what would you google where is it there
00:52:55
pete just type in the word october after no no there you go i have a i have the internet there it is no i'm going to go
00:53:01
south korean month ah bingo bingo the day look at the day the sky opened look at what does that say zoom it in for him
00:53:07
no i'm going to look bobby look i got you john joel a public holiday in south and north korea on
00:53:14
october 3rd known as the english name national foundation day the holiday celebrates the legendary formation of
00:53:18
the first korean state of goju-san in 233 233 bc told you told you i put south korean month and it says
00:53:27
sunday october 10th told you 2021. told you 2021 that's now do you not know what year it is
00:53:37
so today is it told you yeah i told you go back to the year we i think when i put south korea a month
00:53:44
right now the internet's just like this is what the day is in south korea let's figure it out
00:53:53
go back to the thing go back am i losing my [ __ ] mind yeah yeah all right south korean president the
00:53:59
current president suggests a ban on eating dog meat what do you say yeah 100 why
00:54:06
shut up man shut up man it's insane yeah moon jae-in a dog lover says time has come for
00:54:14
traditional practice yeah like what's the why is it so funny it's insane it's [ __ ] insane look at how
00:54:22
cute these dogs are yeah it's insane anything someone might break into your house not to steal something but to grab
00:54:27
a dog yeah that's it but these no but these dogs are bred for it right they don't look like
00:54:34
they're bred to be eaten yeah but they're not i've seen some of the videos
00:54:37
no that's in china they steal from people's houses it's insane i know in
00:54:41
china but in korea they're bred oh they're like the pigs so it's like they're in a
00:54:46
canal you know what i mean right so they're made to be eaten but they just don't have friends that
00:54:51
are human well they do right before they eat them the human goes hi puppy and the puppy's
00:54:56
cute and licking them and then they're like no that's not how they do it no no
00:55:00
it's like it's like mass production i think right you mean like a breeder like a
00:55:05
breeder and it's like these dogs have terrible lives yeah because you're gonna
00:55:08
eat them yeah no but it's also they just their daily life is i think just feed
00:55:13
what is a dog handle what does dog taste like apparently it's the best meat don't give
00:55:18
me apparently i i'm telling you right now don't give me apparently just tell me what it
00:55:23
tastes like it's real good i would never eat it what's the weirdest animal you've ever eaten
00:55:31
don't to say dog monitor lizard monitor lizard do you know what that is i know what a
00:55:38
monitor lizard is i don't know if you're gonna eat it are you making that up no she ate one
00:55:44
in philippines you eat monitor letters yeah how do you eat it how does this prepare
00:55:49
doesn't it look so delicious it looks so moist and delicious well you know what they say you know they say
00:55:54
like foods like specifically like fruits and fruits are colored differently yeah right and
00:56:00
aesthetically they throw away fruit that doesn't look good yeah what i mean in
00:56:03
the grocery store which is [ __ ] up yeah imagine looking at this there's no
00:56:07
way and being like i gotta try it yeah i can't you have to be starving not only not
00:56:14
only that you can't hang it you know how you go to chinatown and you see like
00:56:18
dangling carcass in the windows ducks in the window right yeah you can't hang
00:56:22
that anywhere that has to just be on the menu the last thing right and just put ml they're like
00:56:29
we have clam chowder soup we've got a couple of uh specials today we've got a uh card on
00:56:34
blue and uh monitor lizard so what can i get you and you're like what was the
00:56:37
last one monitor lizard yeah yeah what part of it do you eat i don't know why you eat like the legs
00:56:44
i think so my uncle just gave it to me oh so you just ate it yeah and he just just
00:56:51
what is it is there a sauce there's no sauce you at least get like a chick-fil-a sauce or something it's just
00:56:57
fried oh it's fried well but it's good but can you get it like cage style or
00:57:01
blackened i mean there's got to be a way where it's going to be the best way i just
00:57:06
want to see it it was good it was spicy it was yeah because they have to they have to put the spices in well that was
00:57:11
the cajun style yeah yeah yeah the cajun stuff yeah wow i liked it you fried maybe if i would do it if there was like
00:57:16
you know breading yeah if it was deep-fried deep-fried breading deep-fried pounded
00:57:22
right yeah you thin it out like a lizard by payout monitor lizard pie yard because there's
00:57:27
a restaurant in china and it's like months of reservations right and they all they serve
00:57:33
is different types of animal testicles and penis just it's called just genitals no it's
00:57:42
like wait is it just penises and balls yeah no female uh no that's kind of sexist i
00:57:49
know but you have a couple of vaginas but you it's like a crowded people love it people [ __ ] love it
00:57:56
and it's just peanut just penises yeah have you eaten animal penises no like a
00:58:00
bull penis that's popular i know people eat bulk like i was like wondering like
00:58:03
let's suppose and a lot of people like at work like their boss at work will be
00:58:07
like i got reservations and then everyone at work would have to go no right and imagine being there and you're
00:58:14
like just eating dick what would you order what like what animal's [ __ ] would i
00:58:18
have yeah yeah [Laughter] you know i don't know what i would do i mean if i'm hungry probably a horse dick
00:58:25
it's [ __ ] no because i don't want to eat it so i would say field mouse
00:58:29
right but then but i imagine if i order field mouse right and it comes like like
00:58:35
cereal right there's a [ __ ] load up it's a polo sealed my sticks and then it comes with
00:58:42
milk [Laughter] that's so funny that's so funny yeah a bowl of field mice
00:58:53
yeah yeah yeah and you're like you're thinking of getting one over right you're not like yeah but you
00:58:58
finish a bowl you finish the bowl and they're like oh you're ready for your
00:59:01
second serving field house takes you it's like four right they're like we know that's not
00:59:06
enough for you to eat so obviously we had to pack it in i would have to like whisper like i'd be so shy to do it
00:59:12
mm-hmm so when the waitress or waiter comes up like oh do you know what you want right i would have to whisper it
00:59:17
because i would be so embarrassed i'd say excuse me i did not hear you he's a
00:59:23
donkey come again you come again right and then he's oh donkey dick and she yells at the
00:59:29
[ __ ] cook one dog what animal dick would you eat a duck's dick ooh duck dick a duck dick
00:59:43
that's very clever that's clever duck dick probably tastes very good yeah
00:59:47
because we eat so many parts of the duck chicken dick would be good ah chickens are dirty yeah you're right
00:59:53
yeah chickens are dirty yeah pig dick pig is probably fatty as [ __ ] what would you get a picture of a pig
00:59:58
dick up there what would eric griffin get elephant cocky yeah yeah do elephants have huge like 15 guys come in
01:00:04
[Laughter] they come in with it on their shoulders yeah wait a minute google which animal
01:00:10
has the biggest penis i want to know yeah andrew santino the blue whale yeah the of course let me see the
01:00:24
picture let me see a balloon 10 feet penis a 10 foot pocket [ __ ] wow wow there it is where that's it the second
01:00:33
picture do blue whales penis right there pete no right there just google blue l penis
01:00:40
let's see it oh my god that's it right there in the water the one in the water no hold on
01:00:45
zoom into that guy's face look at this guy holding this piece yeah he's it's like a disneyland vacation family
01:00:52
photo he's so turned on right now and the kids are like daddy this is not cool
01:00:57
yeah i want to hold the penis yeah get it get in charlene get me holding the penis
01:01:02
how weird that's gross [ __ ] penis right there but let's see it live in the
01:01:07
like go to the right the one right there in action no above above right right right right
01:01:13
right yellow oh my god that's live look at it jumping out of the water they've got it mid action they've got
01:01:19
mid flight dick he's just going underneath [Laughter] go to the one where he's jumping out of
01:01:26
the water yeah yeah that's a dare from his buddies yeah yeah he's like i got a boner they're like do
01:01:31
it jump in front of the boat he's like i'm not gonna do it do it he's a teenager
01:01:39
he's [ __ ] crazy crazy larry dude look at how small that looks because of how
01:01:44
big they are but that's ten feet of yeah that's a big dick that's huge yeah what
01:01:48
what's that one somebody touching it is there somebody touching it yeah he's
01:01:51
grabbing it let me see that one the largest penis in the world wait i don't zoom in zoom in
01:02:02
wow wow is that even erect that's got to be soft that's soft because that's like four feet five feet
01:02:11
that what if that guy works for the restaurant not ready yet still too tender down there look at that
01:02:21
dick man beautiful imagine being the guy they newly hired and they're like look we do
01:02:26
we need help pep wanted bad and he's like i'll do anything they're like
01:02:29
you've got to go see if the dicks are ready down below that's his job he's got to go fumble
01:02:33
through the dicks go find go find the dick the dick catcher well he went to chef school whatever
01:02:38
he gets a good job there but he's like his first job when you first get hired
01:02:42
there it's that is that you're the dick prep yeah fine get downstairs and go
01:02:49
yeah yeah so the the monitor lizard is the weirdest you've ever eaten yeah have
01:02:53
you eaten anything that you that you're not supposed to tell us did you eat something bad
01:02:58
did you eat something illegal no have you ever never how about like a hawk have you have you eaten an endangered
01:03:05
species no do you know what that is have you seen their have you seen their bats
01:03:12
no filipino bats have you seen their [ __ ] bats problem no look up filipino giant
01:03:19
gold that [ __ ] thing look at it that's literally that's a guy that is a guy
01:03:27
that's their bats that's a full-size adult man yeah yeah what what dude but look at the
01:03:33
storefront run go go back to the storefront where that looks like a guy in a halloween dude that's a [ __ ]
01:03:39
bathroom oh my god wait a minute do you what what happens when that comes right that can [ __ ]
01:03:45
kill you yeah at that is this what do you do do they have names yeah that's mine
01:03:52
hey mike you're living in [ __ ] narnia yeah yeah yeah dude that is they attack
01:03:59
people i've never heard of them attacking people so do you see them sometimes flying i've never seen them
01:04:05
you've never seen one this has got to be in a certain part of the philippines
01:04:08
then look at this the one that they caught and they've strung it up the one that's the same dude look at
01:04:13
that that's like a 15 foot wingspan i know that's insane that thing i wonder
01:04:17
what those taste like have you eaten those no what is it called go to the name go to
01:04:22
the regular google search i want to find out the name of these things just hit all
01:04:29
those things are insane dude here's what you know about the giant golden crown
01:04:33
flying fox also known as the golden caped fruit bat it's not eating fruit that's eaten human
01:04:40
beings yeah it's a mega bat in the philippines the other thing's in sand man dude this has got to be five
01:04:48
feet long it's five feet it's a [ __ ] it's it's my foot it's hotter than you
01:04:52
doc it's five feet if you put [ __ ] wings on doc no dude it's five six it's five six it's five
01:04:58
six holy [ __ ] that's bigger than he's taller than i am that's what you would
01:05:01
look like hung upside down next to the bat you would be the same it would be almost
01:05:05
the same size wow wow that's insane i would move would you move that was the competition wait no i just
01:05:14
like if those are flying around they'd kill you sleep well at night google if
01:05:18
those things have ever killed a human being or attacked a human being they've got to have been able to kill or
01:05:25
hurt somebody yeah and large bats are being killed by the thousands oh we're killing them oh yeah
01:05:31
yeah yeah they're probably like sweet yeah they're probably nice yeah they eat fruits bro
01:05:37
that doesn't look like fruit yeah they eat fruits bro they look like they eat
01:05:41
cows in the middle of the night yeah those are insane anyway you ever need those
01:05:46
no no is there any other creatures over there that are like that like that i don't think so
01:05:54
but but if you look at that photo hmm what is the difference between that let's just listen
01:06:03
really think about it though yeah yeah yeah i'm listening you see that thing
01:06:06
upside down right yeah what's the only difference between that uh-huh i don't know
01:06:14
except for the wings right let me say something all right you can clip wings can you know
01:06:23
can you not clip them right yeah like i saw an x-men movie where archangel right when he was a boy
01:06:29
he was clipping his own wings in the bathroom of his house right yep i mean i've never really looked at her
01:06:34
back i'm not a bat i didn't accuse you of a bat that you were bad please isolate that sound yeah
01:06:42
i'm not a bad yo he's not saying you are a bad but he but you how can you prove that you're not
01:06:48
yeah i don't have any wings anymore yeah i don't i don't look like a bat you sound a
01:06:56
little guilty yeah it feels like go back to the picture of the one thing hanging
01:07:00
upside down and zoom in on its face yeah zoom in zoom zoom in i don't know jules
01:07:08
rudy the ears are different well you can always shave pull your let me see pull your head one headphone
01:07:14
aside let's see your ears are big turn turn that way and pull your pull your hairs out to the camera
01:07:21
it's not oh my god i don't know throw a [ __ ] apple in front of her i don't know rudy i'd like to see some
01:07:37
proof next episode god those things are so scary let's get a book report on ru
01:07:41
on why rudy isn't a bat for the next episode well let's play this clip real fast let
01:07:46
me see this clip shut the [ __ ] up stop talking to me [ __ ] no i'm not you i'm talking dumb ass fat
01:07:54
[ __ ] over there eat you're too fat [ __ ] you eat too many pork chops so much rice and beans
01:08:12
they're filmed as such stupid ass [ __ ] [Music] [Laughter] i love new york it's the greatest city
01:08:20
in the world [Laughter] stupid ass [ __ ] that's why i got no man do you eat too many pork chops
01:08:32
i love that so much i love it so much you don't like that bob why because he's fat
01:08:40
yeah you know and he's also can't walk play it again why pork chops baby
01:08:49
don't try to reason [Laughter] there's just so much ammo that i could get back at that that's why this is
01:09:07
hilarious why didn't she fight back because it's fun man i don't know maybe
01:09:11
i don't know it's so good to me press play i love it shut up you fat [ __ ] stop eating so
01:09:19
many pork chops back up off the tank you're on a diet your fat ass [ __ ] that's why you ain't got no man you're
01:09:24
too [ __ ] fat nobody wanna [ __ ] you you're too fat [ __ ] you eat too many
01:09:28
pork chops so much rice and beans and film ass stupid ass [ __ ] dude this is how a custom
01:09:38
new york people are to [ __ ] up [ __ ] no one's even laughing you wouldn't be laughing if that guy's
01:09:45
doing look at this guy on his phone look at fancy beyonce you wouldn't laugh that that guy was
01:09:50
calling that girl fat ass [ __ ] you eat too many pork chops no that's not funny
01:09:53
to you it wouldn't be it would be interesting but i would be dying dying laughing yeah here's me recording
01:10:00
yeah yeah white guy shut the [ __ ] up thank you for being a go ahead and say it thank you for being
01:10:08
a bad friend [Music] you [ __ ] it up by [ __ ] yelling and just like it takes me out of the [ __ ]
01:10:21
talking about it why do you do that how was it no it's calm down now go back to the thing i did
01:10:27
the beat ready how was it get my sides how was midnight mass there's no comedy
01:10:34
what i'm saying i just want to recommend things to people that's all yeah and so
01:10:38
what we're doing is a podcast so what they would do is they would cut it right
01:10:41
after we yelled to a funny moment of me going so how was it do you understand how this works dude i
01:10:46
don't like your tone right now dude what is wrong with you dude what the [ __ ] is
01:10:50
wrong with you dude look at your face do you know how this works you [ __ ] condescending [ __ ]
01:10:55
dude you're not the [ __ ] you're not bond man no you're not yeah i'm not head's up
01:11:00
it's odd job is that his name odd job our job i call myself hacksaw i've seen you once again
01:11:06
what no listen you're so low to the earth our job this show did you see this
01:11:18
[Music]