00:00:00
you two are bad friends who are these
00:00:02
two idiots
00:00:03
white dude i'm an asian dude
00:00:06
you two are disgusting
00:00:08
well you two or something we're bad
00:00:11
friends
00:00:12
we got another mexican in the studio i
00:00:14
don't think he's he's not mexican yes he
00:00:15
is mexican because his name is carlos
00:00:18
what's your last name carlos
00:00:20
herrera
00:00:22
that's ju that's not jewels um that was
00:00:25
andres
00:00:27
herrera it's herrera
00:00:42
is
00:00:44
gets adopted by you know i mean white
00:00:46
people he's still toshi mama mama fuko
00:00:48
kiki i know he's still white though if
00:00:50
he was raised in a white house in like
00:00:52
kalamazoo michigan
00:00:54
he's still toshi makagoo he's he's still
00:00:56
he's still gonna be japanese oh that's
00:00:58
true yeah you can't take that away you
00:01:00
can't take that away can you roll your
00:01:01
arse
00:01:02
let me hear it
00:01:03
say carlos
00:01:05
carlos
00:01:08
i can't do it with my tongue i could do
00:01:09
with my throat carlos carlos
00:01:12
[Laughter]
00:01:45
all right that's perfect dude you guys
00:01:46
are bragging man well yeah we got a new
00:01:49
one guess what i saw last night
00:02:01
it was
00:02:03
really good man i love it i love that
00:02:04
you know i realized when i was watching
00:02:06
i go i could never be james bond danny
00:02:08
craig yeah now do you think he's the
00:02:11
best james bond
00:02:15
yeah you think over connery
00:02:17
yeah
00:02:18
really yeah wow what do you say fans
00:02:21
because the best one you think dan
00:02:23
you're crazy because i don't look at it
00:02:24
i never looked at conrad i was a kid i
00:02:26
never really said i would suck that
00:02:27
guy's dick you wouldn't i would [ __ ]
00:02:29
say no
00:02:30
why is everything gay like why does the
00:02:32
arrow always go to there that's a you
00:02:33
thing i know i gotta stop doing that i
00:02:35
know so i never looked at sean connery i
00:02:37
want i i would like hug him
00:02:41
you're sexually attracted to daniel
00:02:42
craig i'm not sexually attracted to him
00:02:44
but it's he's just one of those
00:02:45
commanding guys that would be like you
00:02:47
know
00:02:48
do you know who these guys are
00:02:50
i know the latest james bond
00:02:55
he's hot he's hot oh so you like him you
00:02:58
think daniel craig is hot yeah yeah yeah
00:03:00
see he is he's handsome
00:03:02
okay the best one looking one was roger
00:03:04
moore right he's traditionally the most
00:03:06
sex like the most sexy yeah roger marvel
00:03:08
i don't know look at that he's a mega
00:03:10
babe this guy
00:03:11
yeah i know but his face is old
00:03:15
now go to roger moore
00:03:19
adultery too right yeah but roger mole
00:03:21
had he had more of like a
00:03:23
james bond you think no he's not
00:03:25
handsome at all to you that's a bad
00:03:27
photo switch the photo how was that go
00:03:29
to the fourth one in fourth up yeah
00:03:31
that's a great photo no he's not
00:03:33
handsome
00:03:34
he's he's that handsome wow wow i like
00:03:37
what about roger daltrey that's his name
00:03:40
what was the fourth there was one there
00:03:42
was another one that did one movie
00:03:44
no
00:03:57
can you imagine that they were like
00:03:58
roger we're thinking about offering you
00:04:00
james bond yeah yeah no [ __ ] they're
00:04:02
like no [ __ ] never you're so [ __ ]
00:04:05
ugly yeah look at how long that chin is
00:04:07
why the long face raj
00:04:08
he must have got it tucked look at the
00:04:10
first picture it's almost like he pulled
00:04:11
his
00:04:12
he's almost like he's gonna combo the
00:04:13
role right it's like i'm james bond
00:04:15
right teenage let wasteland that would
00:04:18
actually be that'd be cool
00:04:20
when he's beating someone up yeah
00:04:24
oh yeah yeah he could say while he's
00:04:26
shooting yeah that's sick yeah all right
00:04:28
show the show um show uh
00:04:30
uh uh uh yeah uh t timothy dalton dalton
00:04:35
is it dalton
00:04:37
timothy dalton is the name yeah that's
00:04:38
area that's another what do you think
00:04:39
about this one is this guy a handsome
00:04:41
bond yeah oh you like this guy you like
00:04:43
this guy interesting that was a good one
00:04:46
do you like his butt chin
00:04:47
yeah it's cute there was only four then
00:04:49
right there was um sean connery this guy
00:04:52
dalton did two movies right here i think
00:04:54
one or two one
00:04:56
two more did a bunch right right and
00:04:58
then daniel's done three or something
00:05:00
daniel's on five maybe five yeah yeah
00:05:02
he's on a bunch i'm pierce brosnan oh
00:05:04
pierce brosnan oh yeah don't forget
00:05:06
pierce bro all right bring up bring up
00:05:07
the pierce yeah yeah
00:05:09
do you know he you know pierce brosnan
00:05:10
has a um uh
00:05:13
he's got a uh what is it called a prince
00:05:14
harry or prince william what's it called
00:05:16
when you pierce your penis
00:05:18
it feels good it's called a feels good
00:05:20
yeah he's got one
00:05:21
do you think he's he's hot he's really
00:05:24
come on
00:05:25
you know what i love about him too that
00:05:27
he's just no but his wife is like you
00:05:29
know a heavier woman and he doesn't care
00:05:32
what does that even mean
00:05:34
we've we've done this before
00:05:35
i'm sorry actually type in pierce bros
00:05:37
and wife heavier woman doesn't even care
00:05:39
[Laughter]
00:05:44
i feel so gross saying it that picture
00:05:46
is not
00:05:48
fun for either of them yeah this is like
00:05:50
a yeah this is like i mean it's 90 now i
00:05:53
know but nobody wants to have pictures
00:05:54
of them on how about this no more
00:05:56
pictures on the beach yeah do you go to
00:05:58
you know what they just i just saw a
00:05:58
photo of of leonardo dicaprio on the
00:06:00
beach i love that one the beach photo
00:06:02
there's a new one there's a new one it's
00:06:03
even sadder oh i like the older ones
00:06:05
just do on beach it's like the saddest
00:06:07
thing
00:06:08
no that's the no that's the old one i
00:06:10
think oh the new one is the far right
00:06:11
maybe this one
00:06:13
yeah what yeah that's fine no it is but
00:06:16
why he doesn't want that on the internet
00:06:18
take the cap off you're in the water dog
00:06:21
no it's not enough you like the cap i
00:06:23
think he look he's cool cap is cool yeah
00:06:25
yeah but i mean it's all it's got like a
00:06:27
von dutch hat too you know what i mean
00:06:29
he's that's a
00:06:31
right yeah he's got a little tan line in
00:06:33
the bottom well it's got a bikini he's
00:06:35
burnt first of all he's burnt he's
00:06:36
burned as [ __ ] yeah you didn't think a
00:06:38
guy like that could burn yeah like go
00:06:39
back to the previous page pierce pierce
00:06:41
oh that one no how about that one right
00:06:43
there that's the old one right where
00:06:44
he's hanging out with um
00:06:46
what's his name yeah who is that by the
00:06:48
way that's the guy from uh speed racer
00:06:50
emiliano
00:06:52
emil hirsch uh he's gone right he he
00:06:54
died no he's not he's alive oh he is
00:06:56
yeah
00:06:57
i never know anymore who dies yeah
00:06:59
anyway you don't want those pictures on
00:07:01
go back real quick to the page with
00:07:02
pierce brosnan and i got to tell you
00:07:04
even i feel bad for even saying it i
00:07:06
know but it's already out there yeah
00:07:07
yeah
00:07:09
i mean i'm i shouldn't say it but we're
00:07:11
all thinking it when you look at that
00:07:12
photo what
00:07:14
look at that size of her heart
00:07:19
oh look at the size of her teeth
00:07:22
i mean she has huge teeth yeah she has
00:07:23
big teeth i mean those got to be so
00:07:25
heavy those teeth got to weigh you down
00:07:27
yeah there's no way she's never
00:07:28
herniated disc like me but her stomach
00:07:31
is as big as her teeth
00:07:33
you see what i did was i replaced tits
00:07:36
with teeth so what you would do is
00:07:37
replace a stomach with another s a body
00:07:39
part that was asked that would you know
00:07:40
rewind it all right i mean look at the
00:07:42
size of her toes
00:07:47
her toes are as big as her
00:07:48
teeth
00:07:50
her i'm replacing her stomach s with an
00:07:52
s oh with the ass toes with teeth tits
00:07:54
with toes
00:07:55
go ahead
00:07:56
i mean look at the size of her teeth
00:07:59
right look at the size of her
00:08:03
sack
00:08:05
her sack
00:08:06
look at the size of her sack if we call
00:08:08
a stomach a sack yeah
00:08:10
he got
00:08:13
yeah look at the size of this look at
00:08:14
her sockets
00:08:15
[Laughter]
00:08:17
her eye sockets oh her socket's big yeah
00:08:20
her eye sockets are big
00:08:22
i mean that just looks there's no way
00:08:24
that's comfortable that looks painful
00:08:26
and i mean that mean her teeth her teeth
00:08:28
look painful yeah so wait a minute
00:08:30
without telling us and ever don't spoil
00:08:32
her yeah is the movie worth going to see
00:08:35
yeah it is it's still good real good
00:08:39
and the reason why it's good is i don't
00:08:40
know what's going on
00:08:43
you're totally confused i don't know
00:08:44
what's going on who's who i don't know
00:08:46
what the the factions and organizations
00:08:49
i don't know who m is i don't know who
00:08:51
mal mulpenny is
00:08:56
i don't know who mo penny is
00:08:58
i don't know who brad williams was who
00:09:00
is
00:09:01
you don't cue
00:09:02
you no i just you forget about this
00:09:04
stuff so you're just kind of going
00:09:05
george is cute you know that right he's
00:09:06
cute when it comes to here
00:09:08
wait wait wait
00:09:10
when it comes to this podcast you think
00:09:12
you're a [ __ ] double oh seven 100
00:09:17
i hate the fact that you [ __ ]
00:09:19
designated yourself
00:09:21
yeah yeah what am i then
00:09:23
um uh what's a little guy in goldeneye
00:09:25
uh with the the short little [ __ ] the
00:09:27
best character you could play because he
00:09:28
was so low to the ground so [ __ ]
00:09:29
[ __ ] up what was his name yeah
00:09:31
no i'm the [ __ ] japanese dude with
00:09:32
the [ __ ] hat
00:09:34
why
00:09:35
what's the guy from [ __ ] goldeneye 7
00:09:37
in the nintendo 64 game that was low to
00:09:39
the ground carlos knows carlos odd job
00:09:42
odd job you're odd job you're hot job
00:09:45
i don't like how excited you are
00:09:47
yeah that's who i am you're hundred
00:09:49
percent not a child yeah my job and he
00:09:51
was so good to get in the game because
00:09:52
he was so low to the ground you couldn't
00:09:54
kill him i am odd
00:09:56
i am uh that is 100 you and that's me
00:09:59
yeah yeah and that's pete
00:10:02
that's you me and pete yeah and she's
00:10:05
cute she's cute yeah she's like the
00:10:07
weapons person yes yeah yeah well who is
00:10:09
fancy i don't know but one i don't
00:10:10
really like can i not be hot you have to
00:10:12
be
00:10:13
this couldn't line up any better
00:10:15
he doesn't have a prevalent part in the
00:10:17
movie yes he's in one movie
00:10:19
yeah you get what 20 movies
00:10:22
i mean one movie it's kind of similar to
00:10:24
real life yeah yeah yeah hello hollywood
00:10:26
all right so
00:10:28
your odd job there's no way to get out
00:10:30
of this i'm sorry because he's a fat
00:10:32
asian guy me too
00:10:35
what else do you like
00:10:37
all right did you go with him did you
00:10:39
see no no i started with gene oh you did
00:10:41
my buddy do you have no interest in
00:10:43
going to see stuff like that
00:10:44
no but i want to watch venom oh that's
00:10:47
because you have a crush on on th yeah
00:10:50
you do the first one was weird
00:10:52
i still i liked it but i i thought it
00:10:54
was a little weird i like tom hardy a
00:10:56
lot he's great a lot yeah so i think
00:10:58
this one will be better maybe i think
00:11:00
they probably worked out some kinks yeah
00:11:01
um they're doing a matrix nine too do
00:11:04
you see the
00:11:05
what the new matrix
00:11:07
no yeah they're doing a new matrix they
00:11:10
already did it's coming on december who
00:11:11
is it is it kiana yeah yeah and is
00:11:14
laurence fishburne in it no
00:11:16
really no who is it but his um
00:11:20
porn star
00:11:22
daughter's in it
00:11:23
what kidding
00:11:27
no wait is it yeah who's in it the same
00:11:29
girl the lady in it what's the ladies
00:11:31
name
00:11:33
carrie moss
00:11:35
gary ambos
00:11:37
yeah hurry and moses who else is in it
00:11:39
well from the trailer i saw can i carry
00:11:41
a mouse keanu
00:11:43
that's it that's all i could recognize
00:11:44
did the trailer look good it looked
00:11:46
pretty good but it's it's almost but
00:11:48
they're back in the matrix
00:11:50
like kendall's like older now he's like
00:11:51
you know man i got a job well like did
00:11:53
you watch bill and ted uh the new one
00:11:55
was it good i watched it on an airplane
00:11:57
bad and at the first i would be at the
00:11:59
beginning i was like this is gonna suck
00:12:01
yeah and then at some point i was like
00:12:03
this is exactly what it's supposed to be
00:12:05
it's supposed to be fun and fake and
00:12:07
over-the-top and kitschy right
00:12:09
i liked it i actually thought it was fun
00:12:11
i watched it on a plane but it was a
00:12:12
plane movie so you know i don't know
00:12:13
it's not going to win an award what are
00:12:14
you what are you doing by the way do you
00:12:15
know madonna was offered that role in
00:12:17
the matrix
00:12:19
and she turned it down
00:12:20
with the carry on my support she said no
00:12:22
no chance well she thought the movie was
00:12:23
going to bomb she was like no piano was
00:12:25
fourth on the list on the list i think
00:12:27
it went up to johnny depp first tom
00:12:29
cruise tom cru a bunch of people and
00:12:30
they're like nah
00:12:32
idiots i can't believe that but you know
00:12:34
what's cool is like sean connery right
00:12:36
he turned down gandalf
00:12:38
unreal and then so this is what he is so
00:12:41
i swear to god this has happened that's
00:12:42
what happened
00:12:43
so he gets caught he's a gondolf [ __ ]
00:12:46
that you know i mean give me an oscar
00:12:47
[ __ ] that right then [ __ ] lord of the
00:12:50
rings it becomes a hit so he calls his
00:12:52
agent goes i need you know what i mean
00:12:54
i need something you know like is some
00:12:56
sort of superhero type of sci-fi right
00:12:59
so he that's when he did league of
00:13:00
extraordinary man
00:13:02
not being really he he thought that it
00:13:04
just doesn't matter what you just gotta
00:13:06
do one just gotta do one right and then
00:13:08
that [ __ ] ate it
00:13:10
yeah yeah so he just is he dead
00:13:13
he's dead yes yeah he's dead yeah we
00:13:15
should go we should play that game who's
00:13:16
dead remember that we were so bad at
00:13:18
that you and i were like forty percent
00:13:20
on no i know who's dead now really yeah
00:13:22
i've been reading are you doing more
00:13:23
reading cause when you're when you turn
00:13:25
50 you look up who's dead
00:13:27
because you're next yeah i think i'm
00:13:28
next
00:13:29
what do you think it would say at the do
00:13:30
you think you would get to
00:13:32
well you wouldn't do you wouldn't get
00:13:33
the academy awards memorandum would you
00:13:35
get it at the emmys that you think
00:13:37
have you ever been on a show that's been
00:13:38
nominated
00:13:40
i don't like your tone i haven't either
00:13:41
i'm not i'm not i'm just saying i
00:13:43
wouldn't make it i know but i just don't
00:13:44
like your tone would you make it on the
00:13:45
emmys in memory no you wouldn't i
00:13:48
wouldn't even even if comedy central had
00:13:49
one i wouldn't make that one
00:13:51
you know sometimes they put up like a
00:13:52
gaffer on there and they're like who did
00:13:54
that guy know
00:13:56
like oh so it's like when it because
00:13:57
norm mcdonald's is still up there
00:14:00
yeah rest in peace yeah how long do you
00:14:03
think yours bit would be up there at the
00:14:04
comedy store yeah
00:14:07
uh probably like split between the early
00:14:08
show and the late show they'd have to
00:14:10
take a time
00:14:11
no really how long honestly a day at two
00:14:14
days i don't think so you'd be a weaker
00:14:16
a week yeah you'd get a month
00:14:19
i think i would get a week we'd both get
00:14:21
a week who gets longer than a week then
00:14:22
i don't know i think led more bigger
00:14:24
people i i don't know like but i've been
00:14:26
but see normal wasn't it norm wasn't
00:14:29
like always like he performed that what
00:14:31
10 times he wasn't a store guy i've been
00:14:33
there i've performed in that whole life
00:14:36
i'm not even kidding probably
00:14:38
6 000 times well between that and san
00:14:41
diego yeah
00:14:42
thousands of times you would i think you
00:14:45
what if they give you a week and a day
00:14:46
because of your your your special i want
00:14:48
six months that's insane i want six
00:14:51
months well they don't even put up the
00:14:52
names anymore do they do they put up
00:14:54
names i feel like now the store doesn't
00:14:55
even display names who's there
00:14:57
i haven't seen i've been no they haven't
00:14:58
done that long time no it's usually now
00:15:01
best of or can i just say another thing
00:15:03
that i saw what did you say midnight
00:15:06
mass
00:15:07
oh the movie midnight mask it's a tv
00:15:09
show on netflix oh duncan trussell's
00:15:11
thing no what
00:15:14
is that not his thing no that's not his
00:15:15
thing man
00:15:17
i do you guys know what midnight mass is
00:15:20
yeah yeah yeah duncan's not in it
00:15:24
thank you carlos no no what's duncan's
00:15:25
thing called that is called it's
00:15:27
i don't even know who you know duncan
00:15:29
trussell oh yeah look up duncan trussell
00:15:30
netflix show real fast just so i know
00:15:32
i'm not crazy yeah
00:15:33
what is this called
00:15:37
mid midnight gospel sorry it was so
00:15:40
[ __ ] far off
00:15:42
midnight mass all you guys can suck my
00:15:44
dick it sounds like it wasn't
00:15:46
you of anything i just never [ __ ]
00:15:48
heard of it yeah but the way you came at
00:15:49
me when i said you it sounded like it
00:15:51
wasn't even close you attacked
00:15:59
all right so what was midnight mass was
00:16:00
it good you [ __ ] it up was it good
00:16:02
jewels have you seen this um i'm
00:16:04
planning to watch it yeah plan out plan
00:16:06
on it so
00:16:08
she does nothing
00:16:10
i don't know what you do
00:16:12
i don't know who you are to the show
00:16:14
people just love you yeah yeah they're
00:16:16
wrong
00:16:19
they're obsessed all right so what is
00:16:20
this
00:16:23
so anyway hi
00:16:25
i couldn't talk about it yeah yeah hi
00:16:27
can i say hi first
00:16:29
hello
00:16:30
let's start our energy over i think
00:16:31
that's what it is i'm having so much fun
00:16:33
i think carlos coming in you know i mean
00:16:35
tell me about midnight mass i will in my
00:16:38
own time all right all right i don't
00:16:39
like being thrown or pushed into
00:16:41
something okay okay so i just want to
00:16:43
talk about my relation to you right now
00:16:46
right
00:16:47
and i want to say dude
00:16:49
that you're one of my best friends
00:16:51
you're one of my best friends i'm being
00:16:52
real me too and i want to say this also
00:16:54
how is your family good
00:16:56
how's your family good it's good great
00:16:59
and everything's fine in the house yeah
00:17:01
good the dog's healthy
00:17:03
oh i forgot about the dog he died
00:17:05
it's a girl
00:17:06
okay yeah she's fine congratulations
00:17:09
yeah
00:17:09
she's yeah so um
00:17:11
you have a good week
00:17:13
[Music]
00:17:14
just let me do do what it's my podcast
00:17:17
too i had an okay it's my podcast too
00:17:19
i'm i was trying to lead you back to
00:17:20
midnight and i will do it in my own way
00:17:22
yes ma'am okay i did have a good week
00:17:23
good
00:17:25
and and
00:17:26
uh i got sick and my bad oh that's right
00:17:28
messed up what'd you get
00:17:29
i had an infected midnight mass is um
00:17:33
i want to do it in my own time okay okay
00:17:35
it's one of those shows where you turn
00:17:37
when you when you turn it on you it's
00:17:39
you go
00:17:40
i don't know what this is and i don't
00:17:43
think i like it but it shot so well and
00:17:46
it's still compelling that you just go
00:17:48
through it you watch the first one
00:17:50
you're like you know because it seems
00:17:51
like um are the actors good amazing
00:17:54
everyone from from cinematography to
00:17:56
direction everything is amazing but it's
00:17:58
one of those feelings of like is this
00:18:00
like lost in the sense that like nothing
00:18:02
really means anything you know i mean
00:18:04
it's just like these mythological scares
00:18:07
something flying in the sky they never
00:18:09
explain it this and that right
00:18:11
but by the third episode what happens i
00:18:13
don't want to give it away
00:18:14
but when you're watching then once you
00:18:17
figure out what it is
00:18:19
you go i love it yeah you know you
00:18:22
really get in yeah so in the beginning
00:18:24
you're like i don't know what this is
00:18:26
it's there's some weird surreal moments
00:18:28
in it and these quirky characters and
00:18:30
this and that but then after third or
00:18:32
fourth episode when you it all goes you
00:18:34
kind of oh
00:18:36
this is this kind of movie
00:18:38
oh it's a movie a tv show tv yeah yeah
00:18:41
how many episodes and i'm going to give
00:18:42
it away now are you going to reveal it
00:18:45
i want to so bad you can't because i
00:18:47
know it's so new i know
00:18:49
do you know any of the actors in it
00:18:51
like do you recognize anybody got et's
00:18:53
in it
00:18:54
elliot i mean no elliot from et oh he is
00:18:58
yeah what's his name henry mike flanagan
00:19:01
no that's the director and a writer oh
00:19:03
mike flanagan yeah
00:19:05
he does
00:19:07
all those yeah
00:19:09
um yeah everyone was great in it
00:19:11
especially the the main priest he was
00:19:13
amazing
00:19:15
but the show is really good it's just a
00:19:17
slow burn but i i think by the third and
00:19:19
fourth episode
00:19:20
you get it and you're like this is
00:19:22
amazing what's that kid's name that was
00:19:23
in e.t
00:19:25
henry
00:19:26
what
00:19:27
is his name henry i don't remember
00:19:29
what's his name they don't elliot elliot
00:19:31
was the name from e.t henry thomas henry
00:19:34
did i say that right i said henry right
00:19:35
you did yeah henry have you seen the
00:19:37
tape of him crying to spielberg no
00:19:39
you've never seen that on youtube
00:19:41
i don't want to see it that little blood
00:19:42
cry
00:19:43
yeah do it it's the best oh he's
00:19:45
audition yeah oh i bet it's great she's
00:19:47
a great actor spielberg spielberg is
00:19:49
like
00:19:50
i don't want to give it away but you'll
00:19:51
see
00:19:52
it's powerful did you ever see e.t kiddo
00:19:56
no
00:19:56
no there it is it's the first one oh my
00:19:59
god
00:20:01
doordash oh guy uh you know what i want
00:20:03
to say say it i'm going to tell you
00:20:05
right now um all the things that i've
00:20:06
ordered from or um doordash this week
00:20:09
let me hear you olive and grill lemonade
00:20:11
7-eleven boa steakhouse i mean just
00:20:13
imagine you ordered boa from yeah really
00:20:15
yeah i can't even my list is sad yeah i
00:20:18
always go to bow wow or sometimes you
00:20:20
know you order boa from doordash yeah
00:20:22
and i get like a tomahawk steak i'm
00:20:24
embarrassed it's the best but my point
00:20:26
is is that there's such a variety with
00:20:29
doordash and they're so nice yeah and
00:20:31
they're so efficient yeah and i really
00:20:34
it's one of the best it is the best
00:20:36
delivery service on planet earth i think
00:20:38
you should have it to connect you with
00:20:39
the restaurants you love right now right
00:20:40
to your door and you can get the grocery
00:20:42
essentials you need as well with
00:20:43
doordash get drinks snacks and other
00:20:45
household items delivered in under an
00:20:47
hour yeah ordering is so easy guys
00:20:50
simple open the doordash app choose what
00:20:52
you want from where you where you want
00:20:54
it and your items will be left safely
00:20:56
outside your door with the contactless
00:20:59
delivery drop-off setting over 300 000
00:21:01
partners in the u.s puerto rico canada
00:21:02
australia you can support your
00:21:03
neighborhood go to's uh or choose from
00:21:06
your favorite national restaurants like
00:21:08
love land chicken and peppers and what's
00:21:10
chipotle slogan
00:21:12
oh chipotle
00:21:14
and what's cheesecakes cheesecake
00:21:17
factory for limited time only our
00:21:20
listeners get 25 off and zero delivery
00:21:23
fees on their first order of 15 or more
00:21:26
when you download the doordash app and
00:21:28
enter code bad friends
00:21:30
2021. that's 25 off up to a 10 value and
00:21:33
zero delivery fees on your first order
00:21:35
when you download the doordash app in
00:21:36
the app store enter the code
00:21:37
badfriends2021 don't forget that's code
00:21:41
badfriends2021 to for 25 off your first
00:21:43
order with doordash subjects to change
00:21:45
terms apply
00:21:46
liquid id my favorite thing in the whole
00:21:49
world yum yum yum let me tell you
00:21:51
something after a long workout uh or
00:21:54
when i do some yoga now because i'm into
00:21:56
yoga because of my back i like to have
00:21:57
myself some liquid iv because it jump
00:21:59
starts my day makes me feel good baby
00:22:02
yeah i do um peloton every other day and
00:22:05
i always have a glass not glass but a
00:22:07
bottle of water filled with liquid iv
00:22:10
next to me because i need the energy and
00:22:12
the fluids you do and the um
00:22:15
electrolytes to refill my body yeah one
00:22:18
stick of liquid iv and 16 ounces of
00:22:19
water hydrates faster and more
00:22:20
efficiently than water alone water is
00:22:22
lame without liquid iv and i like the
00:22:24
flavors too yeah watermelon is my new
00:22:27
favorite they got they have apple pie do
00:22:28
they still have apple pie strawberry
00:22:30
lemon lime apple pie was your very
00:22:31
favorite now they got pina colada
00:22:33
passion fruit guava yeah um i do love it
00:22:35
it's great tasting and they have us the
00:22:37
sleep one too that helps you go to sleep
00:22:39
yeah they do good and works yeah they do
00:22:41
um liquid iv hydrates faster like we
00:22:43
said them when water it contains five
00:22:45
essential vitamins more vitamin c than
00:22:47
an orange and as much potassium as a
00:22:49
nano it's healthier than sugary sports
00:22:51
drinks no artificial flavors or
00:22:52
preservatives and less sugar than an
00:22:54
apple if you go to like um whole foods
00:22:56
and stuff
00:22:58
you can see it online when you're
00:22:59
checking out yeah on the side there grab
00:23:01
one grab one just go ahead and grab it
00:23:03
feels good and also the company's good
00:23:05
they're donating 4 million servings in
00:23:06
response to covet 19 uh products are
00:23:08
being donated to hospitals first
00:23:09
responders food banks veterans active
00:23:11
military et cetera they've donated over
00:23:12
11 million servings globally so grab
00:23:15
your favorite liquid iv flavors
00:23:16
nationwide at walmart or you can get 25
00:23:18
off when you go to liquidive.com and use
00:23:20
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off anything you order when you get
00:23:26
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00:23:28
pad friends at liquidity.com yeah there
00:23:31
you go all right okay so no no no let's
00:23:33
let's don't play play yet so
00:23:36
i just want to um i'll set it up for
00:23:38
jules let's just set it up so oh yeah
00:23:40
she's never seen the movie it's not just
00:23:42
the auditioning process yeah so
00:23:45
there's probably
00:23:46
nine kids maybe
00:23:48
it's not a it's not a cattle call but
00:23:50
they probably have a five i think at
00:23:52
this point they probably got three let's
00:23:53
go let's say three let's say four okay
00:23:56
all right
00:23:58
i don't want you to win i know yeah so
00:24:00
let's just save down two or three two or
00:24:02
three okay let's go back to probably
00:24:03
right right
00:24:04
and who knows he could have been first
00:24:06
he could be last he could be in the
00:24:07
middle true but he probably waited there
00:24:10
right and you know it's like
00:24:12
at this point spielberg had already done
00:24:15
close encounters jaws huge director huge
00:24:19
opportunities so there's a lot of
00:24:21
pressure i think tons but i think as an
00:24:23
adult
00:24:24
you take the pressure on in a different
00:24:26
way than kids because they don't know
00:24:28
what's at stake
00:24:29
kind of we right when we were let's say
00:24:32
you're an unknown actor
00:24:35
and you're about to audition for
00:24:36
spielberg and you're poor
00:24:39
right and then you're like this could
00:24:40
change my life trajectory so all those
00:24:43
things come into play when we go in and
00:24:46
read yeah he doesn't have to pay rent he
00:24:47
doesn't he doesn't think about those now
00:24:49
you know but i'm sure he still feels a
00:24:52
little nervousness
00:24:53
but
00:24:55
now he goes in for steven spielberg and
00:24:57
he reads yeah and this is what he does i
00:25:00
haven't seen it
00:25:02
the government is bigger than you are
00:25:04
elliot and i i really i have all the
00:25:07
authority to take him and i gotta tell
00:25:08
you
00:25:09
i'm gonna take him
00:25:12
you can't take him well
00:25:16
i'm afraid i have to son
00:25:18
you can't take him away
00:25:21
but it's not my choice the president
00:25:23
asked me to come here and get him i
00:25:24
don't care what the president says he's
00:25:26
my best friend
00:25:28
and you can't take it away
00:25:30
well it's it's real possible elliot that
00:25:33
he'll come back and you can have him
00:25:35
again but we just want to talk to him
00:25:37
and see where he came from and try to
00:25:39
find out about other planets and he he
00:25:42
probably is the key to a lot of things
00:25:44
that we have to know
00:25:45
but how do i know you're gonna bring him
00:25:47
back
00:25:48
well
00:25:49
i'm afraid son i i can't guarantee you
00:25:52
i think he's afraid of you
00:25:56
that may be true but
00:25:57
the government tells me what to do and i
00:26:00
just follow their orders
00:26:02
well he's mine and he lives with me and
00:26:04
he likes me
00:26:06
and he wants to stay here he likes it
00:26:08
here well we wouldn't hurt him or
00:26:10
anything all we want to do is talk to
00:26:12
him but i don't want you to take him
00:26:15
away
00:26:17
you know i've had to talk to your mom
00:26:18
about it and
00:26:20
she knows that the government has the
00:26:22
right to do it
00:26:24
and who told you all this
00:26:27
well we learned about it
00:26:29
we know that he's somewhere around here
00:26:32
i mean i do have a search warrant i
00:26:34
could look around the house
00:26:35
tell me you keep
00:26:39
that spielberg talking well
00:26:41
i'll tell you what
00:26:42
if you let me talk to him for five
00:26:44
minutes i'll tell my boss that you can
00:26:46
keep it
00:26:48
would that be okay with you if i could
00:26:49
just talk to him for five minutes would
00:26:52
you feel better then
00:26:54
would you be happy if you could keep him
00:26:55
if all i had to do was talk to him for
00:26:57
five minutes
00:26:58
that might make your whole day huh
00:27:00
might make your whole life huh
00:27:02
and then he'd be your friend forever and
00:27:04
i wouldn't take him away
00:27:06
okay
00:27:09
okay kid you got the job
00:27:14
can you believe that okay kid you got
00:27:16
the job
00:27:18
and then probably that's one of the most
00:27:19
but imagine now okay kids you got two
00:27:21
kids waiting to read
00:27:24
right and they're sitting there you know
00:27:26
they're they're with their mom right
00:27:27
right going through you know i don't
00:27:29
want you to take her take him away i
00:27:30
don't want you to take him away
00:27:32
you know why you should have tear mom
00:27:34
i'm gonna do it when i'm in there okay
00:27:36
take him away take him away right this
00:27:38
people comes out you guys can go home
00:27:40
what
00:27:42
right and then they just get
00:27:45
do you think they read or no yeah okay
00:27:48
kid you got the job if spielberg said
00:27:50
that so confidently it was like
00:27:52
that was it it was over
00:27:54
there was a guy that like so mork and
00:27:56
mindy yeah when they auditioned mork
00:27:59
right so did a guy an actor wrote a book
00:28:03
about this
00:28:04
about he was right after robin williams
00:28:07
oh audition for morgan
00:28:10
right so he's at the you know i mean
00:28:12
network or whatever and he's in the
00:28:13
lobby
00:28:14
and you know robin williams is in there
00:28:16
for an hour
00:28:17
you know i mean and like the walls are
00:28:20
shaking
00:28:21
he's killing so bad
00:28:23
and i never read the book but i can only
00:28:25
imagine him going wait wait this is this
00:28:27
is funny the guy has the script and the
00:28:28
walls are moving as he's reading this
00:28:31
laughter he's just shaking against him
00:28:34
yeah you know what i would say i go
00:28:35
anybody have a pen yeah here you go and
00:28:38
i would go to the sign and [ __ ] and just
00:28:39
cross my name out just go just go home
00:28:41
well that's the kind of thing you
00:28:42
couldn't compete there's no way it was
00:28:44
born it was his role anyway he like with
00:28:46
he was born to do that
00:28:48
well first of all why audition offer
00:28:51
yeah but also because i think they just
00:28:52
wanted to see him play oh yeah i have a
00:28:54
story about morgan mindy i cannot share
00:28:56
the
00:28:56
act the actor who told me the story it's
00:28:59
private but i can i'll tell the story
00:29:02
but
00:29:02
she
00:29:03
worked on the show as many people did
00:29:06
and was an actor on the show and she
00:29:08
said
00:29:09
you know robin was
00:29:11
you know he was partied out all the time
00:29:13
yeah yeah i love it and he showed up to
00:29:15
set one day and she was new and he comes
00:29:17
up and he's like well you're gonna be
00:29:18
with us you're gonna be working with us
00:29:20
and he's in character but they're not
00:29:21
rolling
00:29:22
and then she's like oh yeah i'm gonna be
00:29:24
working with you and he goes ah yeah
00:29:26
welcome to whatever the land was i can't
00:29:28
remember the name where he was from what
00:29:29
was it called he was from uh i knew it
00:29:30
was all i know [ __ ] what was it whatever
00:29:32
he's like uh where'd i come from uh we
00:29:34
did a little bit of this
00:29:36
and he honked her tits
00:29:37
i swear to god yeah and he and he
00:29:39
grabbed her hand he goes and some of
00:29:40
this and then smacked his pen like
00:29:42
smacked himself on the penis with her
00:29:43
hand
00:29:44
and then he goes good day and then ran
00:29:46
away she told me the story i was like
00:29:48
are you [ __ ] serious yeah like it was
00:29:50
weird it was wild and weird back then
00:29:52
yeah he was also laced up on coke oh i
00:29:55
saw a richard pryor he was in a movie
00:29:58
and they did behind the scenes and he's
00:30:00
like literally just smoking crap
00:30:04
i mean back then and how they just let
00:30:06
you do it yeah it was chaos yeah yeah it
00:30:08
was [ __ ] chaos back then smoking
00:30:10
crack
00:30:14
i mean imagine that now it's like you're
00:30:16
a minute late are you kidding me [ __ ]
00:30:19
a sag rep will yell at you yeah if you
00:30:21
you know like look nowadays when i
00:30:23
change in the trailer yeah
00:30:25
they you know sometimes you go to
00:30:26
wardrobe changes you change in front of
00:30:27
people yeah now i haven't no it's not
00:30:30
like that anymore yeah
00:30:32
they don't even want to see you in your
00:30:33
underwear because they're like what if
00:30:34
you get offended that i see you changing
00:30:36
that all this stuff it's [ __ ] nuts
00:30:39
yeah even
00:30:40
i was still in hollywood when you could
00:30:42
do weird stuff like i would show up in
00:30:44
michael rosenbaum's dressing room
00:30:46
because we did a movie that movie
00:30:48
and we would just be naked in there
00:30:50
right right well you couldn't you could
00:30:52
do it to a guy friend you still you
00:30:53
can't do that now though to a guy friend
00:30:55
i had just met him that day well that's
00:30:57
weird
00:30:59
we didn't have a rapport i just kind of
00:31:01
was there naked right okay you both
00:31:03
laugh right
00:31:05
but my point is you can't do that now no
00:31:07
yeah no not now no did i tell you about
00:31:10
that one time where i get i what
00:31:11
happened to me and splitting up together
00:31:13
where i um i think i told i must have
00:31:15
told you
00:31:16
where i had a six o'clock in the morning
00:31:18
call time i have to tell you this no
00:31:20
i had six in the morning call time and i
00:31:22
had this day where it was like just a
00:31:24
conversation scene between me and jenna
00:31:27
fisher right so she had a six five
00:31:28
probably 5 30 in the morning because
00:31:29
she's a girl yeah they do makeup
00:31:32
so it's like 10 30.
00:31:35
you're late no i'm asleep
00:31:38
my god i'm asleep
00:31:41
at home
00:31:42
when i was living on my beachwood condo
00:31:44
right and i hear someone in my [ __ ]
00:31:47
living room
00:31:49
right like what the [ __ ] i think i
00:31:51
grabbed the katana i have a katana
00:31:53
a sword i just bring the sword out
00:31:55
like running there i go what this guy
00:31:58
from the show they've been shooting
00:32:01
they're doing all the jenna's coverage
00:32:02
where are you it's 10 30.
00:32:06
and i go they sent some pokemon what
00:32:09
what
00:32:10
i'm freaked the [ __ ] out oh my god i was
00:32:13
freaking the [ __ ] out right and he goes
00:32:15
just go now i i was in like whatever i
00:32:17
was sleeping in
00:32:19
right
00:32:20
so i have one slipper on and i go
00:32:23
and so they did all her coverage and
00:32:25
this the worst was did she stay for your
00:32:27
cover for you when it flipped
00:32:29
good
00:32:30
but the worst part was is
00:32:33
i'm doing my coverage now it's like one
00:32:35
yeah right she's at home no she's still
00:32:38
there because she had other scenes like
00:32:39
i don't know okay but she's in the
00:32:40
dressing room right but i'm doing
00:32:43
my coverage and i could see behind a
00:32:45
tree like like something like this right
00:32:47
um
00:32:49
[Laughter]
00:32:53
i always use the space
00:32:57
i could see the show runner
00:32:59
right
00:33:00
[Laughter]
00:33:04
just staring you down the whole day just
00:33:07
so angry yeah yeah or like if we'd moved
00:33:11
if we moved shot move shots right she
00:33:13
would just come behind
00:33:14
from a desk and come up like this
00:33:17
like she was all over the place you
00:33:19
[ __ ] up and then this is what she does
00:33:23
uh her name is emily catnik does she
00:33:25
like you now she's the best
00:33:28
but she goes i remember at the end of
00:33:29
the day
00:33:31
i'm just sitting there and i'm hunched
00:33:33
over
00:33:34
and she walks up from behind me
00:33:37
right she puts her hand on my shoulder
00:33:40
assault
00:33:41
no no
00:33:43
and she looks at me
00:33:44
and i look at her and she gave me a look
00:33:47
she didn't say anything
00:33:49
but it was like i answered her even
00:33:51
though she said
00:33:52
yeah yeah it won't happen again um
00:33:55
it was that look like by the way that's
00:33:57
i'm gonna let this go that's power but
00:33:59
yeah it was like a jedi thing wait and
00:34:01
i'll never do that again she rested she
00:34:03
squeezed my shoulder and she walked away
00:34:06
the next day was everything was fine
00:34:08
right but it's like if this was the 70s
00:34:11
i could show up for a week not show up
00:34:13
yeah it didn't matter yeah and come back
00:34:15
with coke on my face yeah i mean and
00:34:17
they're like where were you what are you
00:34:21
we're doing a show let's go let's roll
00:34:23
you're in let's go but like stars could
00:34:25
like get away with [ __ ] back in the day
00:34:27
it was wild yeah but now it's like
00:34:29
everything's just because number one
00:34:33
so there's so many there's so many jobs
00:34:35
now yeah right that not one job
00:34:39
is gonna make or break you
00:34:41
right yeah that's true no because
00:34:42
there's a thousand things you know
00:34:44
you've seen like i you know i'll turn on
00:34:46
like you know youtube watch trailers
00:34:48
you'll see what's wrong
00:34:50
what what'd you do i had something in my
00:34:52
eye oh don't do that man
00:34:55
keep talking i don't like what you just
00:34:57
did man i just did this there was
00:34:58
something in my eye no that was a
00:34:59
[ __ ] it's some sort of like way of
00:35:01
like going
00:35:02
move on
00:35:04
no
00:35:05
don't do that man that was nothing you
00:35:08
do [ __ ] like that where you shrug your
00:35:09
shoulders when i'm talking and it's like
00:35:11
it's like come on sucks
00:35:14
are you projecting do you think what
00:35:15
you're about to say sucks
00:35:17
yeah okay
00:35:19
i knew where i was going i didn't know
00:35:21
where you were going either i didn't
00:35:22
either right but don't do that because
00:35:24
i'm trying to create something here man
00:35:26
okay next time you know you're
00:35:27
projecting so next time
00:35:29
what does projecting mean it's something
00:35:30
you actually think and feel you're
00:35:31
saying as if i'm saying it yeah but
00:35:33
don't do that so next time am i
00:35:34
projecting that yes
00:35:36
so next time you think you're telling a
00:35:38
story
00:35:38
why don't you go like this to me
00:35:41
you should bail just go like this when
00:35:42
you're like i'm watching trailers on
00:35:43
youtube yeah and then i'll move to
00:35:45
something else okay but so when you when
00:35:48
i'm doing
00:35:49
so i'm talking oh i'll give you an
00:35:51
example let's just play it out right
00:35:53
so man can i tell you this other story
00:35:55
yeah you know one time my mom she used
00:35:57
to like to go to the korean grocery
00:35:58
store in koreatown right and um
00:36:01
she wandered around and you know
00:36:05
you know she didn't know
00:36:07
so okay this week on bad friends says
00:36:10
that yeah we'll shift which that's very
00:36:12
good we'll shift to something else so
00:36:13
then you give me a hand signal where you
00:36:15
want to move on
00:36:17
uh something simple like uh like that
00:36:20
when i was no
00:36:21
no no no it gets so obvious people can
00:36:22
read it oh i didn't know yeah yeah
00:36:26
like give me something that like a
00:36:27
simple hand signal uh what if you just
00:36:29
kind of do this you know like you know
00:36:30
how
00:36:32
detectives from the olden days about
00:36:33
this
00:36:34
that's that's the [ __ ] white summer
00:36:36
supremacist this is yeah this is this is
00:36:38
a a-okay
00:36:40
okay dude this is white supremacy how is
00:36:42
this white supremacist
00:36:43
dude you know what happened to that guy
00:36:45
in san diego prove to me that this is
00:36:47
white surprise i'll give you i'll give
00:36:48
you so i can't say okay anymore no
00:36:50
really yeah
00:36:52
i can never go somebody goes hey how was
00:36:54
the food and i go
00:36:55
no one does that yeah i do it all the
00:36:57
time this
00:36:58
no that okay that's white supremacist
00:37:00
why is this
00:37:02
this is white supremacy yeah because
00:37:03
they'd be like hey should we burn the
00:37:05
cross and they're like
00:37:07
yeah but that's just saying okay right
00:37:09
this is not giving you the go ahead to
00:37:10
burn the cross okay this was yeah the
00:37:13
go-ahead yeah and this was let's give an
00:37:16
example okay how about this why don't
00:37:17
you go walk up to 50 cent
00:37:19
right and just do this in front of him
00:37:21
see what happens well what's the context
00:37:22
i'm not just gonna do it out of nowhere
00:37:24
you're okay if he's like hey hey how's
00:37:27
the party and i'm like
00:37:29
he'll get it i don't think he would what
00:37:31
do you think he's gonna think i said i
00:37:32
think when you do this a gun will go
00:37:34
through here like this i think that's
00:37:36
what's gonna happen all right so why
00:37:39
would 50 cent
00:37:40
why would i have 50 cents just give me a
00:37:42
[ __ ] symbol nothing like this no
00:37:45
circle all right i'll give you just i'm
00:37:48
just gonna can i just say that i'll go
00:37:49
let me just say this okay let me just
00:37:50
let me talk okay okay
00:37:52
this guy that worked at san diego gas
00:37:55
and electric
00:37:56
right a year ago
00:37:58
okay
00:37:59
mexican guy
00:38:01
right
00:38:02
union job right he's driving home to go
00:38:05
to he has a truck you know one of those
00:38:07
sd whatever san diego light i don't know
00:38:10
what it's called
00:38:11
and he's at a stop sign right and when
00:38:14
he's driving he likes to stick his hand
00:38:16
out the window and because he
00:38:19
he works with his hands and he and he
00:38:20
has like arthritis or something so he
00:38:22
likes to like kind of
00:38:24
stretch out his fingers this actually
00:38:25
happened okay right
00:38:27
and he's at a stop sign at the same time
00:38:29
there's a blm protest so out the window
00:38:32
he's doing this and then he does this
00:38:35
they take a photo of this
00:38:37
right
00:38:38
a mexican guy this mexican guy doing
00:38:40
this symbol but he's stretching his
00:38:42
finger and proof that it's not white
00:38:44
supremacy thank you he gets he lost his
00:38:47
job
00:38:48
they fired him yes
00:38:51
he lost his job because they think a
00:38:54
mexican is a white supremacist look it
00:38:56
up
00:38:56
he doesn't even think the first word of
00:38:58
the christian area no no he's a mexican
00:39:00
guy he lost his job
00:39:03
there's got to be something there it's
00:39:04
nothing else he lost his job well let me
00:39:07
tell you something yeah if that is true
00:39:09
then it's good to have another one of
00:39:11
our mexican brothers on our team then
00:39:14
yeah so give me a symbol that's insane
00:39:16
yeah yeah sdg e worker fight over
00:39:18
alleged racist gesture says he was
00:39:19
cracking his knuckles
00:39:21
it just seems like something's missing
00:39:23
here no a mexican guy yes he's mexican
00:39:27
let's see the video that's it that's him
00:39:30
now go in it was a photo not a video
00:39:33
so zoom in in the photo
00:39:35
oh that does look like he's doing the
00:39:37
white supremacy symbol
00:39:38
[Laughter]
00:39:41
this dude
00:39:42
this is insane his job because he still
00:39:45
doesn't have a job
00:39:47
okay what's his name
00:39:49
oh it says right there cafferty is a
00:39:50
mexican-american says he comes from a
00:39:52
diverse family of all races he's proud
00:39:53
of it
00:39:54
he's proud of sdg e for taking any
00:39:56
allegations of racism seriously but he
00:39:57
wants his job back i'm sure he got his
00:39:59
job back he never did he still doesn't
00:40:00
have his job okay go up to find his name
00:40:02
and let's find him and see if we can
00:40:03
contact him
00:40:05
we'll give him a job here on bad friends
00:40:07
and he can do this all he wants
00:40:10
that's his job
00:40:11
his job is just to come into scream
00:40:13
every once a while and do that
00:40:15
yeah by the way yeah everybody who knows
00:40:18
this show that knows obviously we're
00:40:20
making a joke about it but you've got to
00:40:22
be a [ __ ] [ __ ] to think a mexican
00:40:24
dude is doing this meaning white
00:40:26
supremacy i know you have to be a
00:40:28
[ __ ] but we live in that kind of
00:40:29
society people are [ __ ] dumb because
00:40:31
it got it became it was trending by the
00:40:34
way we are going to find out he is a
00:40:35
white supremacist oh like all no he's
00:40:36
not he's because i've seen him in
00:40:38
interview talk he has met his his family
00:40:41
is all like you know i mean san diego
00:40:43
mexicans
00:40:44
i just think that's that fiesta does
00:40:45
this feels insane to me i just don't get
00:40:47
it i know but i'm just saying so don't
00:40:48
do this you're doing it now i know i'm
00:40:50
just telling you not to do it i think
00:40:51
it's upside down it is upside down oh it
00:40:54
is yeah this is this is okay yeah it is
00:40:55
you should have done this then well yeah
00:40:56
then it's fine yeah you shouldn't have
00:40:58
done that uh you're doing it again
00:40:59
you've done it three times yeah yeah all
00:41:01
right you're right i'm gonna make a meme
00:41:02
give me a give me a symbol that's not
00:41:04
obvious that like when you want to move
00:41:06
you want me to jump in
00:41:08
to shift the conversation all right here
00:41:10
it'll be very very uh subtle yeah
00:41:13
okay good look ahead just a little
00:41:16
yeah
00:41:17
right it's a move on face
00:41:19
okay so but we also need symbols
00:41:23
oh simple for her
00:41:24
[Music]
00:41:25
oh my god what's your symbol
00:41:28
she doesn't talk she doesn't need the
00:41:30
symbol
00:41:32
can i do this yeah yeah you can do that
00:41:34
that makes sense yeah
00:41:36
she does come in with some good ones
00:41:40
hello
00:41:41
i'll tell you this right now my my life
00:41:43
if my dad was still alive and he saw my
00:41:45
butthole he's not
00:41:46
i know but if he was did you tushy your
00:41:48
dad's about hold before he died i don't
00:41:49
know but if you saw my butthole right
00:41:50
now you go holy moly why is so queen
00:41:54
and i would say because it's tushy the
00:41:56
hello i'm being real it's amazing it's a
00:41:58
modern bidet company that washes away
00:42:00
even the messiest of shits leaving you
00:42:01
with the better cleaner uh
00:42:03
butthole than toilet paper alone my
00:42:05
dad's never said holy moly holy moly
00:42:07
he's never it's funny to say that when
00:42:09
you look at it so anyway that we have a
00:42:10
hello tootsie in in our bathroom here at
00:42:12
the office yeah and i love coming here
00:42:14
and just spraying it into my ding dong
00:42:18
and it cleans it out it's so good
00:42:20
there's nothing you say you save money
00:42:22
on
00:42:22
tissue toilet paper right it's good for
00:42:25
the environment yeah i just like the
00:42:27
little spritz of water in my tushy
00:42:29
because i got to tell you
00:42:30
your whole gets so much abuse over these
00:42:33
years take care of it and give a little
00:42:35
dab dab just like with a napkin on the
00:42:37
corner of your mouth after you eat a
00:42:38
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00:42:48
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at the top and enter bad friends ship
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station make ship happen
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but we have to also have a symbol in
00:45:07
terms of like
00:45:09
you know if i think your story is
00:45:11
meandering is it the same symbol
00:45:14
oh we'll just do that for all of us just
00:45:16
knock on it out yeah
00:45:18
we'll just do that for all right a
00:45:20
little knock a little tap tap on the
00:45:21
thing a little tap tap little tap tap
00:45:23
yeah let's do let's practice one go
00:45:25
ahead
00:45:26
uh i'll i'll start go ahead
00:45:28
so last night at the great british
00:45:30
baking show oh watching because you know
00:45:32
every week on fridays the new episode
00:45:35
comes on right and
00:45:37
last night was bread week oh
00:45:41
so anyway loved your show last night
00:45:44
oh so what's that what's that
00:45:47
move up move on move on okay
00:45:50
i love it
00:45:52
what was that even okay so what was i
00:45:54
even talking about when you did the
00:45:56
[ __ ] eye thing these guys will know
00:45:58
you were saying you were watching
00:45:59
trailers on youtube
00:46:00
about what though
00:46:02
about how no not one actor has so much
00:46:05
power these days because there's too
00:46:07
many jokes all right i just want can i
00:46:08
make finish my point though please
00:46:09
before you do the eye thing please okay
00:46:12
i'm just saying that there's no
00:46:15
there's
00:46:20
god
00:46:21
you know some days i love you
00:46:23
i really do some days i go i'll wake up
00:46:26
and go man i'm so blessed to have
00:46:29
[Laughter]
00:46:31
so many good friends like ed right but
00:46:34
some days i just literally go i think i
00:46:36
hate him yeah i think today is one of
00:46:38
those days good yeah how do you feel
00:46:40
about me right now i'm in love with you
00:46:42
more than i've ever been oh why because
00:46:44
i'm because you're sweet
00:46:47
that annoyed me even more i know wait
00:46:50
tell me though you were watching no
00:46:51
actor can you were saying it no i'm just
00:46:53
saying though you can't act like that
00:46:55
anymore well look some of those are
00:46:56
expendables some of those things are
00:46:58
good
00:46:58
right
00:46:59
i was honking this woman this is not
00:47:02
[ __ ] cool
00:47:03
i mean it's a funny story for someone to
00:47:05
tell but you're like that's [ __ ] nuts
00:47:07
south korea's next president oh by the
00:47:09
way this is a big win for south korea i
00:47:10
want to tell you congratulations
00:47:12
this is uh heyo kyung young the
00:47:14
levitating mystic who claims he's got an
00:47:16
iq go up he's got an iq up he's
00:47:18
scrolling on the wrong way he's got an
00:47:20
iq of 430 and is offering voters 85 000
00:47:24
to vote for him do you vote for this guy
00:47:28
yeah he can [ __ ] levitate well if you
00:47:30
can do something that no other human can
00:47:32
do i think that's an asset and 85 grand
00:47:35
yeah look at that look at how and
00:47:36
there's people there's skeptics on the
00:47:38
internet saying he can't levitate that's
00:47:40
him levitating above a mountain i'm
00:47:41
seeing it right now obviously so tell me
00:47:43
how that happened and then i'll tell you
00:47:45
yeah exactly
00:47:46
um also he's able to
00:47:49
and look at look listen he's able to
00:47:50
physically remove and replace his hair
00:47:52
at any given time right not only that
00:47:54
can i just say it's just based on the
00:47:55
photo he loves to punch angels
00:47:59
because look at that fist right he loves
00:48:00
to pull punch angels right imagine
00:48:03
do it do him in heaven
00:48:05
do him up there levitating punching
00:48:07
agent
00:48:08
wait
00:48:09
i gotta do indian style hold on i gotta
00:48:11
get in there right
00:48:15
what's tucker done check it out
00:48:21
you have to tell the angel take that and
00:48:23
then they're like they get punched they
00:48:24
go take one yeah right you know you know
00:48:27
scroll down on this guy this guy's
00:48:29
[ __ ] great i don't know why they
00:48:30
don't want to vote for him
00:48:31
yeah people are saying
00:48:33
that uh he
00:48:35
he said uh he's showing off his
00:48:37
flexibility with a kick alongside donald
00:48:39
trump uh and he tells all the observers
00:48:41
to look into his eyes to help him
00:48:43
levitate
00:48:45
i don't know man this guy seems dope as
00:48:46
[ __ ] i think it's i think um this is the
00:48:49
kind of people we should be voting for
00:48:52
we've been getting lied to by
00:48:53
politicians for all
00:48:54
time and it's so so it's like you know
00:48:56
if you can do something you know
00:48:58
mystical
00:48:59
like this like this right this guy
00:49:01
that's an asset by far right so they say
00:49:04
like they say jesus walked on water they
00:49:06
say um gandhi could not eat for you know
00:49:10
whatever the [ __ ] a thousand years a
00:49:11
thousand years ago
00:49:13
this guy
00:49:14
yeah
00:49:17
levitate dude the dalai lama yeah what's
00:49:20
his thing
00:49:22
the dalai lama what's his thing his
00:49:24
thing is he can make crickets disappear
00:49:26
out of thin air
00:49:27
dude and locusts that's a thing
00:49:31
yeah that's a thing right would you vote
00:49:36
would you vote for him if he can
00:49:38
levitate see yeah wait that's the thing
00:49:40
though he
00:49:42
he would but what's tough about this
00:49:45
is he'd have to prove it one time how
00:49:47
does david blaine not run for anything
00:49:49
then he could just be like you should
00:49:50
vote for me because i can do this and
00:49:52
then yeah disappear into a tank but
00:49:55
because you have
00:49:56
this is a true thing right you have
00:49:59
if you look at david blaine's videos on
00:50:00
youtube and whatever right there's
00:50:02
always r
00:50:03
reveal videos
00:50:05
of how we did it yeah so like when you
00:50:06
see any magician that's why when like
00:50:09
there's certainly it sucks
00:50:11
i know but there's certain missions like
00:50:13
shin lim
00:50:14
yeah i know shin lim right yeah so shin
00:50:16
lim there's some there there's some they
00:50:19
they don't do some reveals on his
00:50:21
because they don't know yet
00:50:22
right they can't right uh what's uh pen
00:50:24
and teller couldn't figure out yeah yeah
00:50:26
that's how good shin lim is but if you
00:50:28
watch david blaine or any other magician
00:50:30
that you see on a talent show there's
00:50:32
always reveal videos he's pre some of
00:50:34
them i don't think you could find a
00:50:35
reveal for yeah i mean there's this guy
00:50:37
named um
00:50:39
his name is some oak
00:50:41
darby darcy darcy oak darcy oak darcy oh
00:50:45
cute handsome
00:50:47
darcy oak is a handsome
00:50:49
canadian magician they all kind of look
00:50:51
like chris angel yeah yeah ish this dude
00:50:55
did something on pgt obviously put the
00:50:57
shirtless one up pete yeah yeah yeah
00:50:59
there we go
00:51:00
we obviously wanna say hot right is he
00:51:02
hot
00:51:03
could he be james bond
00:51:05
he looks like he he would hit women
00:51:09
what gives it away the stars going down
00:51:11
to his penis on his pelvis
00:51:13
yeah yeah this guy's probably a great
00:51:15
guy no he seems very nice he's probably
00:51:17
nice why do you think he's gonna hit
00:51:18
women
00:51:20
it's just his face it's just his face
00:51:22
but he does a thing on stage where he he
00:51:24
can make doves appear this guy yeah
00:51:28
right have you seen it oh yeah he does
00:51:30
it as an audition on pgt he makes doves
00:51:32
up here then he can make like two dubs
00:51:34
appear with two like um
00:51:36
cages with two doves in it and stuff
00:51:38
like that seriously yeah yeah that's
00:51:40
pretty and then uh he puts the doves all
00:51:41
the doves in a cage and he lifts the
00:51:43
cage and there's a woman underneath that
00:51:45
that rises
00:51:46
really yeah
00:51:48
let's go see
00:51:49
any who right you can watch on youtube
00:51:51
my point is all those stuff you can i
00:51:53
know how he did it yeah but you can't do
00:51:55
it
00:51:56
i i'm not going to spend 15 hours a day
00:51:58
for 20 years of my life practicing
00:52:00
that's my point that's the only point i
00:52:02
know my point is that i am i i i think
00:52:04
it's awesome that he can [ __ ] do it
00:52:06
yeah right but my point is that it's not
00:52:08
magic yeah it is magic it's magic that
00:52:11
he was able to spend that much time to
00:52:12
figure out how to do it and actually
00:52:13
work that's magic i know
00:52:16
that
00:52:21
all right what's the next piece you had
00:52:22
pete
00:52:24
can i just say something oh
00:52:26
why is everything korean right now
00:52:29
it's korean do you know what south
00:52:30
korean month
00:52:32
all of october
00:52:35
it is i've never heard of south korea it
00:52:37
is typing in korean for 50 years
00:52:40
what month is south korean celebration
00:52:42
month in the united states watch
00:52:44
it's [ __ ] october i can't you don't
00:52:45
know that it's my birthday month what
00:52:46
does it say what would you google
00:52:52
where is it there
00:52:55
pete just type in the word october after
00:52:58
no no there you go i have a i have the
00:52:59
internet there it is no i'm going to go
00:53:01
south korean month ah bingo bingo the
00:53:04
day look at the day the sky opened look
00:53:05
at what does that say zoom it in for him
00:53:07
no i'm going to look bobby
00:53:10
look i got you john joel a public
00:53:12
holiday in south and north korea on
00:53:14
october 3rd known as the english name
00:53:15
national foundation day the holiday
00:53:17
celebrates the legendary formation of
00:53:18
the first korean state of goju-san in
00:53:20
233
00:53:21
233 bc told you
00:53:24
told you
00:53:25
i put south korean month and it says
00:53:27
sunday october 10th told you 2021. told
00:53:31
you
00:53:32
2021 that's now
00:53:35
do you not know what year it is
00:53:37
so today is it told you yeah i told you
00:53:40
go back to the year we
00:53:43
i think when i put south korea a month
00:53:44
right now the internet's just like this
00:53:46
is what the day is in south korea
00:53:51
let's figure it out
00:53:53
go back to the thing go back
00:53:56
am i losing my [ __ ] mind yeah yeah
00:53:58
all right south korean president the
00:53:59
current president suggests a ban on
00:54:01
eating dog meat what do you say yeah 100
00:54:05
why
00:54:06
shut up man
00:54:09
shut up man it's insane yeah moon jae-in
00:54:12
a dog lover says time has come for
00:54:14
traditional practice
00:54:17
yeah like
00:54:18
what's the why is it so funny it's
00:54:20
insane it's [ __ ] insane look at how
00:54:22
cute these dogs are yeah it's insane
00:54:24
anything someone might break into your
00:54:26
house not to steal something but to grab
00:54:27
a dog yeah
00:54:29
that's it but these no but these dogs
00:54:31
are
00:54:32
bred for it right they don't look like
00:54:34
they're bred to be eaten yeah but
00:54:35
they're not i've seen some of the videos
00:54:37
no that's in china they steal from
00:54:39
people's houses it's insane i know in
00:54:41
china but in korea they're bred oh
00:54:43
they're
00:54:44
like the pigs so it's like they're in a
00:54:46
canal you know what i mean right so
00:54:47
they're made to be eaten
00:54:49
but they just don't have friends that
00:54:51
are human
00:54:52
well they do right before they eat them
00:54:54
the human goes hi puppy and the puppy's
00:54:56
cute and licking them and then they're
00:54:58
like no that's not how they do it no no
00:55:00
it's like it's like mass production i
00:55:02
think
00:55:03
right you mean like a breeder like a
00:55:05
breeder and it's like these dogs have
00:55:06
terrible lives yeah because you're gonna
00:55:08
eat them yeah no but it's also they just
00:55:10
their daily life is i think just feed
00:55:13
what is a dog handle what does dog taste
00:55:14
like
00:55:15
apparently it's the best meat don't give
00:55:18
me apparently
00:55:20
i i'm telling you right now don't give
00:55:22
me apparently just tell me what it
00:55:23
tastes like it's real good
00:55:28
i would never eat it what's the weirdest
00:55:29
animal you've ever eaten
00:55:31
don't to say dog monitor lizard monitor
00:55:35
lizard
00:55:37
do you know what that is i know what a
00:55:38
monitor lizard is i don't know if you're
00:55:40
gonna eat it
00:55:41
are you making that up no she ate one
00:55:44
in philippines you eat monitor letters
00:55:46
yeah how do you eat it how does this
00:55:47
prepare
00:55:49
doesn't it look so delicious
00:55:51
it looks so moist and delicious well you
00:55:53
know what they say you know they say
00:55:54
like foods like specifically like fruits
00:55:56
and fruits are
00:55:58
colored differently yeah right and
00:56:00
aesthetically they throw away fruit that
00:56:02
doesn't look good yeah what i mean in
00:56:03
the grocery store which is [ __ ] up
00:56:04
yeah imagine looking at this there's no
00:56:07
way and being like
00:56:08
i gotta try it
00:56:10
yeah i can't
00:56:12
you have to be starving not only not
00:56:14
only that you can't hang it you know how
00:56:16
you go to chinatown and you see like
00:56:18
dangling carcass in the windows ducks in
00:56:20
the window right yeah you can't hang
00:56:22
that anywhere
00:56:24
that has to just be on the menu the last
00:56:26
thing right and just put ml they're like
00:56:29
we have clam chowder soup we've got a
00:56:31
couple of uh
00:56:32
specials today we've got a uh card on
00:56:34
blue and uh monitor lizard so what can i
00:56:36
get you and you're like what was the
00:56:37
last one
00:56:39
monitor lizard yeah yeah what part of it
00:56:41
do you eat
00:56:42
i don't know why you eat like the legs
00:56:44
i think so my uncle just gave it to me
00:56:47
oh so you just ate it yeah
00:56:49
and he just just
00:56:51
what is it is there a sauce
00:56:53
there's no sauce you at least get like a
00:56:55
chick-fil-a sauce or something it's just
00:56:57
fried oh it's fried well but it's good
00:56:59
but can you get it like cage style or
00:57:01
blackened
00:57:03
i mean there's got to be a way where
00:57:05
it's going to be the best way i just
00:57:06
want to see it it was good it was spicy
00:57:08
it was yeah because they have to they
00:57:10
have to put the spices in well that was
00:57:11
the cajun style yeah yeah yeah the cajun
00:57:13
stuff yeah wow i liked it you fried
00:57:15
maybe if i would do it if there was like
00:57:16
you know breading yeah if it was
00:57:18
deep-fried deep-fried breading
00:57:20
deep-fried
00:57:21
pounded
00:57:22
right yeah you thin it out like a lizard
00:57:24
by payout
00:57:26
monitor lizard pie yard because there's
00:57:27
a restaurant in china and it's like
00:57:29
months of reservations right
00:57:31
and they all they serve
00:57:33
is different types
00:57:35
of
00:57:37
animal testicles and penis
00:57:40
just it's called just genitals no it's
00:57:42
like
00:57:44
wait is it just penises and balls yeah
00:57:46
no female uh no that's kind of sexist i
00:57:49
know but you have a couple of vaginas
00:57:51
but you it's like a crowded
00:57:53
people love it people [ __ ] love it
00:57:56
and it's just peanut just penises yeah
00:57:58
have you eaten animal penises no like a
00:58:00
bull penis that's popular i know people
00:58:02
eat bulk like i was like wondering like
00:58:03
let's suppose and a lot of people like
00:58:05
at work like their boss at work will be
00:58:07
like i got reservations and then
00:58:10
everyone at work would have to go no
00:58:12
right and imagine being there and you're
00:58:14
like just eating dick what would you
00:58:15
order
00:58:16
what like what animal's [ __ ] would i
00:58:18
have yeah yeah
00:58:19
[Laughter]
00:58:21
you know i don't know what i would do i
00:58:22
mean if i'm hungry probably a horse dick
00:58:25
it's [ __ ] no because i don't want to
00:58:26
eat it so i would say field mouse
00:58:29
right but then but i imagine if i order
00:58:32
field mouse right and it comes like like
00:58:35
cereal
00:58:36
right there's a [ __ ] load up
00:58:39
it's a polo
00:58:40
sealed my sticks and then it comes with
00:58:42
milk
00:58:46
[Laughter]
00:58:49
that's so funny
00:58:50
that's so funny yeah a bowl of field
00:58:52
mice
00:58:53
yeah yeah yeah and you're like
00:58:55
you're thinking of getting one over
00:58:57
right you're not like yeah but you
00:58:58
finish a bowl you finish the bowl and
00:59:00
they're like oh you're ready for your
00:59:01
second serving field house takes you
00:59:03
it's like four
00:59:05
right they're like we know that's not
00:59:06
enough for you to eat so obviously we
00:59:07
had to pack it in i would have to like
00:59:09
whisper like i'd be so shy to do it
00:59:12
mm-hmm so when the waitress or waiter
00:59:13
comes up like oh do you know what you
00:59:15
want right i would have to whisper it
00:59:17
because i would be so embarrassed i'd
00:59:18
say
00:59:21
excuse me i did not hear you he's a
00:59:23
donkey
00:59:25
come again you come again right and then
00:59:27
he's oh donkey dick and she yells at the
00:59:29
[ __ ] cook one dog
00:59:38
what animal dick would you eat
00:59:40
a duck's dick ooh duck dick a duck dick
00:59:43
that's very clever that's clever duck
00:59:45
dick probably tastes very good yeah
00:59:47
because we eat so many parts of the duck
00:59:49
chicken dick would be good
00:59:51
ah chickens are dirty yeah you're right
00:59:53
yeah chickens are dirty yeah pig dick
00:59:55
pig is probably fatty as [ __ ]
00:59:57
what would you get a picture of a pig
00:59:58
dick up there what would eric griffin
00:59:59
get
01:00:00
elephant cocky yeah yeah do elephants
01:00:01
have huge like 15 guys come in
01:00:04
[Laughter]
01:00:06
they come in with it on their shoulders
01:00:08
yeah wait a minute google which animal
01:00:10
has the biggest penis
01:00:14
i want to know yeah
01:00:18
andrew santino
01:00:20
the blue whale
01:00:22
yeah the of course let me see the
01:00:24
picture let me see a balloon 10 feet
01:00:26
penis a 10 foot pocket [ __ ]
01:00:29
wow wow
01:00:31
there it is where that's it the second
01:00:33
picture do blue whales penis right there
01:00:35
pete no right there just google blue l
01:00:37
penis
01:00:40
let's see it
01:00:41
oh my god that's it right there in the
01:00:43
water the one in the water no hold on
01:00:45
zoom into that guy's face
01:00:48
look at this guy holding this piece yeah
01:00:50
he's
01:00:51
it's like a disneyland vacation family
01:00:52
photo he's so turned on right now and
01:00:54
the kids are like daddy this is not cool
01:00:57
yeah i want to hold the penis yeah get
01:00:59
it get in charlene get me holding the
01:01:01
penis
01:01:02
how weird that's gross [ __ ] penis
01:01:05
right there but let's see it live in the
01:01:07
like go to the right
01:01:08
the one right there in action no
01:01:11
above above right right right right
01:01:13
right
01:01:14
yellow oh my god that's live
01:01:17
look at it jumping out of the water
01:01:18
they've got it mid action they've got
01:01:19
mid flight dick he's just going
01:01:21
underneath
01:01:22
[Laughter]
01:01:25
go to the one where he's jumping out of
01:01:26
the water yeah yeah
01:01:28
that's a dare from his buddies yeah yeah
01:01:30
he's like i got a boner they're like do
01:01:31
it jump in front of the boat he's like
01:01:33
i'm not gonna do it do it
01:01:35
he's a teenager
01:01:39
he's [ __ ] crazy crazy larry dude look
01:01:42
at how small that looks because of how
01:01:44
big they are but that's ten feet of yeah
01:01:46
that's a big dick that's huge yeah what
01:01:48
what's that one somebody touching it is
01:01:50
there somebody touching it yeah he's
01:01:51
grabbing it let me see that one the
01:01:53
largest penis in the world
01:01:56
wait i don't
01:01:58
zoom in zoom in
01:02:02
wow wow
01:02:04
is that even erect
01:02:06
that's got to be soft
01:02:08
that's soft
01:02:10
because that's like four feet five feet
01:02:11
that what if that guy works for the
01:02:13
restaurant
01:02:16
not ready yet
01:02:18
still too tender down there look at that
01:02:21
dick man
01:02:22
beautiful imagine being the guy they
01:02:24
newly hired and they're like look we do
01:02:26
we need help pep wanted bad and he's
01:02:27
like i'll do anything they're like
01:02:29
you've got to go see if the dicks are
01:02:30
ready down below
01:02:31
that's his job he's got to go fumble
01:02:33
through the dicks go find go find the
01:02:35
dick the dick catcher well he went to
01:02:37
chef school whatever
01:02:38
he gets a good job there but he's like
01:02:40
his first job when you first get hired
01:02:42
there it's that is that you're the dick
01:02:44
prep yeah
01:02:45
fine
01:02:46
get downstairs and go
01:02:49
yeah yeah so the the monitor lizard is
01:02:51
the weirdest you've ever eaten yeah have
01:02:53
you eaten anything that you that you're
01:02:54
not supposed to tell us
01:02:56
did you eat something bad
01:02:58
did you eat something illegal
01:03:00
no have you ever never how about like a
01:03:03
hawk
01:03:04
have you have you eaten an endangered
01:03:05
species
01:03:07
no
01:03:08
do you know what that is have you seen
01:03:09
their have you seen their bats
01:03:12
no
01:03:13
filipino bats have you seen their
01:03:15
[ __ ]
01:03:16
bats problem no look up filipino giant
01:03:19
gold that [ __ ] thing look at it
01:03:21
that's
01:03:22
literally that's a guy
01:03:26
that is a guy
01:03:27
that's their bats that's a full-size
01:03:29
adult man
01:03:31
yeah yeah what what dude but look at the
01:03:33
storefront run go go back to the
01:03:34
storefront where that looks like a guy
01:03:36
in a halloween dude that's a [ __ ]
01:03:39
bathroom oh my god
01:03:42
wait a minute do you what what happens
01:03:44
when that comes right that can [ __ ]
01:03:45
kill you
01:03:47
yeah
01:03:48
at that is this what do you do do they
01:03:50
have names yeah that's mine
01:03:52
hey mike
01:03:55
you're living in [ __ ] narnia yeah
01:03:57
yeah yeah dude that is they attack
01:03:59
people i've never heard of them
01:04:01
attacking people so do you see them
01:04:03
sometimes flying i've never seen them
01:04:05
you've never seen one this has got to be
01:04:06
in a certain part of the philippines
01:04:08
then look at this the one that they
01:04:09
caught and they've strung it up
01:04:11
the one that's the same dude look at
01:04:13
that that's like a 15 foot wingspan i
01:04:15
know that's insane that thing i wonder
01:04:17
what those taste like
01:04:18
have you eaten those no
01:04:20
what is it called go to the name go to
01:04:22
the regular google search i want to find
01:04:24
out the name of these things
01:04:27
just hit all
01:04:29
those things are insane dude here's what
01:04:31
you know about the giant golden crown
01:04:33
flying fox
01:04:35
also known as the golden caped fruit bat
01:04:38
it's not eating fruit that's eaten human
01:04:40
beings
01:04:41
yeah it's a mega bat
01:04:43
in the philippines the other thing's in
01:04:45
sand man dude this has got to be five
01:04:48
feet long it's five feet it's a [ __ ]
01:04:50
it's it's my foot it's hotter than you
01:04:52
doc
01:04:53
it's five feet
01:04:54
if you put [ __ ] wings on doc no dude
01:04:56
it's five six it's five six it's five
01:04:58
six holy [ __ ] that's bigger than he's
01:05:00
taller than i am that's what you would
01:05:01
look like hung upside down next to the
01:05:03
bat
01:05:04
you would be the same it would be almost
01:05:05
the same size wow
01:05:07
wow that's insane
01:05:09
i would move
01:05:10
would you move
01:05:12
that was the competition wait no i just
01:05:14
like if those are flying around they'd
01:05:16
kill you sleep well at night google if
01:05:18
those things have ever killed a human
01:05:19
being
01:05:20
or attacked a human being
01:05:24
they've got to have been able to kill or
01:05:25
hurt somebody yeah
01:05:27
and large bats are being killed by the
01:05:29
thousands oh we're killing them oh yeah
01:05:31
yeah yeah they're probably like sweet
01:05:33
yeah they're probably nice yeah
01:05:35
they eat fruits bro
01:05:37
that doesn't look like fruit yeah they
01:05:39
eat fruits bro they look like they eat
01:05:41
cows in the middle of the night yeah
01:05:42
those are insane
01:05:44
anyway you ever need those
01:05:46
no no
01:05:47
is there any other creatures over there
01:05:48
that are like that like that
01:05:52
i don't think so
01:05:54
but but if you look at that photo hmm
01:05:57
what is the difference between that
01:06:00
let's just listen
01:06:03
really think about it though yeah yeah
01:06:04
yeah i'm listening you see that thing
01:06:06
upside down right yeah what's the only
01:06:08
difference between that uh-huh
01:06:13
i don't know
01:06:14
except for the wings right let me say
01:06:17
something
01:06:19
all right
01:06:20
you can clip wings can you know
01:06:23
can you not clip them
01:06:24
right yeah like i saw an x-men movie
01:06:27
where archangel right when he was a boy
01:06:29
he was clipping his own wings in the
01:06:30
bathroom of his house right yep
01:06:33
i mean i've never really looked at her
01:06:34
back i'm not a bat
01:06:37
i didn't accuse you of a bat that you
01:06:39
were bad please isolate that sound yeah
01:06:42
i'm not a bad yo
01:06:44
he's not saying you are a bad but he but
01:06:46
you how can you prove that you're not
01:06:48
yeah i don't have any wings anymore yeah
01:06:53
i don't
01:06:54
i don't look like a bat you sound a
01:06:56
little guilty yeah it feels like go back
01:06:58
to the picture of the one thing hanging
01:07:00
upside down and zoom in on its face yeah
01:07:03
zoom in zoom zoom in
01:07:05
i don't know
01:07:07
jules
01:07:08
rudy
01:07:09
the ears are different
01:07:11
well you can always shave pull your let
01:07:13
me see pull your head one headphone
01:07:14
aside let's see your ears are big
01:07:17
turn turn that way and pull your pull
01:07:19
your hairs out to the camera
01:07:21
it's not
01:07:24
oh my god
01:07:27
i don't know
01:07:30
throw a [ __ ] apple in front of her
01:07:35
i don't know rudy i'd like to see some
01:07:37
proof next episode god those things are
01:07:39
so scary let's get a book report on ru
01:07:41
on why rudy isn't a bat for the next
01:07:42
episode
01:07:45
well let's play this clip real fast let
01:07:46
me see this clip
01:07:49
shut the [ __ ] up stop talking to me
01:07:50
[ __ ]
01:07:52
no i'm not you i'm talking dumb ass fat
01:07:54
[ __ ] over there eat
01:08:07
you're too fat [ __ ] you eat too many
01:08:10
pork chops so much rice and beans
01:08:12
they're filmed as such
01:08:14
stupid ass [ __ ]
01:08:15
[Music]
01:08:15
[Laughter]
01:08:17
i love new york it's the greatest city
01:08:20
in the world
01:08:22
[Laughter]
01:08:24
stupid ass [ __ ]
01:08:26
that's why i got no man
01:08:28
do you eat too many pork chops
01:08:32
i love that so much i love it so much
01:08:35
you don't like that bob
01:08:36
why
01:08:38
because he's fat
01:08:40
yeah you know and he's also can't walk
01:08:43
play it again
01:08:44
why pork chops baby
01:08:49
don't try to reason
01:08:56
[Laughter]
01:09:01
there's just so much
01:09:03
ammo that i could
01:09:05
get back at that that's why this is
01:09:07
hilarious why didn't she fight back
01:09:08
because it's fun man i don't know maybe
01:09:11
i don't know
01:09:13
it's so good to me
01:09:14
press play i love it
01:09:17
shut up you fat [ __ ] stop eating so
01:09:19
many pork chops back up off the tank
01:09:20
you're on a diet your fat ass [ __ ]
01:09:22
that's why you ain't got no man you're
01:09:24
too [ __ ] fat nobody wanna [ __ ] you
01:09:26
you're too fat [ __ ] you eat too many
01:09:28
pork chops so much rice and beans and
01:09:30
film ass
01:09:32
stupid ass [ __ ]
01:09:35
dude
01:09:36
this is how a custom
01:09:38
new york people are
01:09:40
to [ __ ] up [ __ ]
01:09:41
no one's even laughing
01:09:43
you wouldn't be laughing if that guy's
01:09:45
doing look at this guy on his phone look
01:09:46
at fancy beyonce
01:09:48
you wouldn't laugh that that guy was
01:09:50
calling that girl fat ass [ __ ] you eat
01:09:51
too many pork chops no that's not funny
01:09:53
to you it wouldn't be it would be
01:09:54
interesting but i would be dying
01:09:57
dying laughing yeah here's me recording
01:10:00
yeah
01:10:01
yeah white guy
01:10:04
shut the [ __ ] up thank you for being a
01:10:07
go ahead and say it thank you for being
01:10:08
a bad friend
01:10:10
[Music]
01:10:17
you [ __ ] it up by [ __ ] yelling and
01:10:19
just like it takes me out of the [ __ ]
01:10:21
talking about it
01:10:23
why do you do that how was it no it's
01:10:25
calm down now go back to the thing i did
01:10:27
the beat ready how was it get my sides
01:10:32
how was midnight mass there's no comedy
01:10:34
what i'm saying i just want to recommend
01:10:36
things to people that's all yeah and so
01:10:38
what we're doing is a podcast so what
01:10:39
they would do is they would cut it right
01:10:41
after we yelled to a funny moment of me
01:10:43
going so how was it
01:10:45
do you understand how this works dude i
01:10:46
don't like your tone right now dude what
01:10:48
is wrong with you dude what the [ __ ] is
01:10:50
wrong with you dude look at your face do
01:10:52
you know how this works you [ __ ]
01:10:53
condescending [ __ ]
01:10:55
dude you're not the [ __ ] you're not bond
01:10:57
man no you're not yeah i'm not head's up
01:11:00
it's odd job
01:11:01
is that his name odd job our job i call
01:11:04
myself hacksaw i've seen you once again
01:11:06
what
01:11:07
no listen you're so low to the earth our
01:11:09
job this show
01:11:16
did you see this
01:11:18
[Music]
![[CLEAN VERSION!] Open Chucanos & Closed Chichitos | Ep 118 ft. Fahim Anwar | Bad Friends](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/EillbZD0pMc/mqdefault.jpg)
