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hey guys hey guys we have a bunch of footage and and and things that have happened on this thing you guys never
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and we've never aired nobody's seen it and we're gonna air them yeah because uh fancy and george decided they want something to do over the holidays so
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they're gonna be commenting and talking about stuff that you've never seen that we've put in the vault and we're unearthing it right now for you bad
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friends it's fun fun you two are bad friends who are these two idiots
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white dude i'm an asian dude you two are disgusting
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well you two or something we're bad friends hey bad friends
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feli fagno los milventidos hope you guys had an awesome awesome holiday
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uh i'm your host today fancy bee and we're gonna do something we've never done before
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i'm gonna show you two episodes we've never aired why you might ask well because
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bobby or andrew or both while recording didn't feel they were on they weren't clicking as much they
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weren't as funny i think that's complete [ __ ] we're gonna cut all that stuff we're gonna cut
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this out it's so bad this episode it's so bad let's start again we're gonna cut it up no we're not rolling because all
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the stuff we just did was a waste i just feel i just feel like not connected to it i know delete no if you'll leave it
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delete it off the facebook face of the planet i'm so loopy you're gonna have to cut so much of this he's not in a good
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mood his energy is weird we're not clicking we're not clicking yeah come in here uh andre we'll talk about this this
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episode this all this stuff has to really be deleted off the face of the earth all right let's start over the first
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episode you guys are gonna see is the fourth episode we ever shot it was my first time on the show
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uh you'll see the the set as it was like completely bare they said that
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you guys [ __ ] on a lot um before any of this stuff was was here
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um it was the you know the show well george was the only producer
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we didn't have as many cameras we didn't have as much uh stuff as we do right now
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and it comes at the right time because as andrew mentioned uh on the new year's
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episode we are moving we're moving to a bigger set to accommodate for all of the stuff that is happening on my friends
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please let us know what you think if you think this is funny if you think it was worth for me going into the vault and
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unearthing this this episode so without further ado like you guys
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make fun of me uh let's watch episode four of my friends
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it's a charity we have them on as a charity we know this it's like hey it's like
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you know i have my friend who has a mental disability right he you know can if i worked at mcdonald's can he be the
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fry guy have you ever given somebody like that a job just be just out of charity i just did with george with the tiger belly and
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then with this why do you think you continue to give george charity then because he has uh i feel sorrow pure
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sorrow it's like when i see yemen kids starving okay kids in yemen starving i look at
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george and i go he's starving for [ __ ] he's starving for attention he's starving for is there
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anything that you think he's not starving for whiteness why you think he doesn't want to be
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white no i think he does he's full of it right he's full of whiteness and um entitlement
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yeah he is yeah yeah but that's the farm [ __ ] though right this is farm whites well he's fixing the cameras right now
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how does everything look uh he doesn't have good eyesight so you wouldn't even know
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it's like a you know the fry guy hey you put the fry on too much in the oil why
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can't you talk you're not gonna talk on the podcast about about what we were just talking about about what
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why do you think you why is it that you think you're not you haven't worked hard enough you're not famous enough you don't want to talk about the the person you don't want to talk about the person
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that i just that we just brought up no what i'm saying is is that you know for the amount of time that i've been
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doing comedy sometimes you're in situations where you're around a friend who is just doing more and doing better
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how many how many years have you been doing comedy for over 20 years and so you think to yourself where did i
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go wrong but you know what if i look at what i do have i'm grateful yeah but it doesn't sound like it yeah i
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want to put a shotgun in my mouth and pull the trigger you know and just
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all over and it'll say [ __ ] bad friends on the [ __ ] wall that would be tight art for the show you know the fan you know the fans
00:04:31
hate the show they hate the desk they hate the decor they say it looks like a dentist office i told i [ __ ] already
00:04:37
told you that you [ __ ] you have no artistic um gut this wasn't art
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this was me putting something together in a shitty way to get it done as fast as possible in the most terrible way
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possible to give it to put the show out yeah how much time did you spend on it you never give me the chance how much
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time did you spend how much welcome back to how much time did you spend on it our contest today is
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bobby lee bobby how much time did you spend on it let me ask you this oh that's wrong friend nothing will you
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listen to me right now i'm listening all right you have different degrees of chefs correct
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you you have the guy at mcdonald's that's not a chef that's a cook or whatever well don't disrespect real
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chefs all right then you have the chef at chef chef boyardee not a chef
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chef boyardee's a real chef no he's not look at his name why would they put chef on the [ __ ] thing because it sounds
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nice they're going to they're not going to write lying close board is not a doctor who the dr schultz of the foot guy
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scholes dr scholes schultz scholes whatever it's
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shoals i buy it it's very good you do i love you you know what and you make my relieve my feed every day thank you you
00:05:51
buy dr schultz because you like the extra lift and it's not for the comfort that's because you're a tiny person i
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want to play you a song we can't play songs on this podcast can we
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[ __ ] i know what song i did already and you know what it's going to piss me off you know i want to i'm going to cut this off right now
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i'm not going to be going to play not going to play this song but like i said i didn't play it you did not play last
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week before this is randy newman yeah short people got no reason
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sure people got no reason to live they got little hands
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little eyes walk around telling great big lies they
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got little noses and tiny little teeth they were platform shoes on their nasty
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little feet oh bro bro it's people you feel better you know
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i do you feel better as a friend do you feel better i i absolutely not and i'll also i've been watching a show on netflix called i am a killer i watched
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it you watched that show yeah yeah every single one i think that's santiano
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no no yeah yeah you're like you i don't know what happened you're you [ __ ] won the lottery
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by not i don't know circumstances or whatever you think i could have been a serial killer you could have killed somebody accidentally yes accidentally
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how do you purpose on purpose no no right i i've killed someone accidentally i've never done it on purpose
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i killed three guys in mexico on accident i crashed an atv and i killed three guys
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like matthew broderick same yeah i killed three guys in mexico on an atv and are you joking right now nope
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and you feel good about that i don't feel anything about it they're gone yeah you know latinos what they call
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them huh they're real people too they weren't first of all they were white oh [ __ ] they were tourists it was a
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white tourist family went from england or from where uh they were they were south africa
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that's how i knew that's how i know you're lying no south africa you heard us in south africa earlier
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and then you said south africa because i was stumbling i was thinking about telling you which one where they're really from south africa you're making
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it up south africa i was speeding at them in the atb
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room and they go stop right there no we're on the 8tb as well yeah and i crashed into him i killed a
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family a mother a dog a mother a daughter and a dad you know i ran over a guy shut up
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right george i ran over a guy i hit if if we're being genuine i hate a guy with my car i'm
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dead serious i didn't kill him but i hit him with my my guy might be dead it can never walk again
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you paralyzed a man well you killed three people that was a joke
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dude what did you do all right so um when i was 17 years old have you told
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this before has he told this before i barely remember so maybe a long time ago yeah a long time ago
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i should not tell it no i want to know i've never heard this story yeah it's not that big of a deal
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yes it is you paralyzed a guy it's not that big of a [ __ ] deal yes it is
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oh hey i paralyzed the guy not so big of a deal for who you
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you have legs you walked again yeah so a man is in a chair somewhere i wobble you do you roly-poly yeah roly-poly um
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you're like those matrushka dolls those russian you have low base i was driving down the street
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in my uh i had a toyota truck um don't do that don't wink at the
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camera about a toyota truck it was nice though and uh at a toyota truck i was going down the
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street yeah and somebody had lifted the stop sign out of the ground
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so there was no stop sign r really what you look at the police report this is like a bad teenage
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[ __ ] i was a teenager i was like a move bad teenager i was 16 17 years old okay
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so i just turned the right and the next thing i knew i see a body fly over my car
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you didn't feel the body you wanted to feel it i tried i hear
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and i see ah and there's a guy ah you're like that and you hit a man and
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then i ran him over cause he cuz he hit the back of my car in his motorcycle he went over my car
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for your car yeah and then went and did you stay around to see if he was over yeah of course i'm not a [ __ ]
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psychopath okay i pulled over the side is it your was it your fault
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yeah what did by the way what an asian ringtone you picked the most asian
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papa you pulled over cops came amber lamps
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came no what happened no let me see we get out of the car and um i'm laughing
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you're laughing yeah because whenever i'm in a stressful situation or i think because i think my life is over
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i don't know when i'm in a situation where i'm like it's only happened a couple of times in my life where i'm in a horrific situation where it happens
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either when i'm in a funeral you know what i mean or it happens well i don't know yeah yeah you laugh at a funeral or
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if i see somebody like really get injured i'll laugh maniacally that because it's so horrifying and you say
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i'm [ __ ] up that's so [ __ ] up it's called a defense mechanism charge that's not defensiveness that's [ __ ] chaos in
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your brain whatevs these are broken there's bra whatevs bro okay bruh
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so he i go right i get out like that guys
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like a psychopath yeah right and then um i go i should get him off the road so i
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pulled his body shut the [ __ ] up you touched a guy who's you just hit with your car what the [ __ ] am i gonna
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do leave them there you don't you don't touch them no you're not supposed to touch those it was it was trafficking
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stop stop no i pulled him on the side of the road okay you grabbed him by the legs
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no his shoulder i i i didn't buy his shirt and i was just dragging him jesus and then i took um parts of his
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motorcycle i mean like screws or like a wheel and whatnot and i was like putting it on the
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side of the road and then the cops come and then um ambulance and everything
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they take him away i remember calling her parents was he coherent did you talk to him he was going
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[Music] so yeah so totally normal [Laughter]
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yeah so you try to talk to him at all or no like i'm sorry buddy while laughing
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i was like i'm sorry buddy like that and then what happened and then and then
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i remember for years i went to court and um but it turned out he was a
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pedophile oh so you did a good deed you paralyzed a pedophile yep you peed
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yeah so if his dick broke that's god's work what if his dick was the only thing that still still did work
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and he would still go to like near elementary schools like yeah get over here young boy
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come sit on my lap and his dick is the only thing that works i forget how i found out he was a pedophile but i think my attorney told
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me that he had a long rap sheet of like being like i love that conversation with your attorney yeah
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well bobby he's paralyzed forever but he was a pedophile to be honest
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yeah well that would cause that i think that made me go because i felt such you know me i'm just a guilty person yes and
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i'm so sensitive yep that it was like traumatic yeah that is traumatic yeah so but he's a pedophile so i guess it's
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like no no one cares it's completely relieved right i don't even think about it
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and i think the insurance gave him like a million dollars or something like that what yeah but not from you you didn't have to
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pay anything the insurance did but then i couldn't get insurance for a year i was like but that wasn't your fault right he hit
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you it wasn't but i just feel like because there was a stop sign i mean oh and they pulled i think the argument was
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that i pulled the stop sign before they got there but look at me yeah look how the [ __ ] am i gonna pull a [ __ ]
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stop scene out of the [ __ ] ground and it was on the ground flat you know somebody had done that someone hit it
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and left it there yeah i well i hit a guy in south africa right you [ __ ]
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no i really did hit a guy on i hit a guy on beverly in crescent heights and i mean i hit him hard i was driving to a i
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was driving to go talk to these people from a show i was gonna get fired from i was about to get fired i knew
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what show was that it was it was a hosting job i did but i knew i was gonna get fired i knew
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it was over right so they were going to take me to dinner and have drinks and i and as i was leaving the apartment
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i was like i don't want to [ __ ] go to this i know they're just going to fire me i just knew it i was like just call me i
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don't want to go to drinks with you guys i'm [ __ ] done leave me alone yeah right i don't want to do it yeah so i'm driving and this is like one of those
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times in l.a where it's pouring down rain never happens this was
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i don't know eight years ago nine years ago pouring down rain and the street at crescent heights in beverly flooded okay
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so i get i get there there's no one around i start to go through the light to make
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a left a car opposite direction heading north splash splash on my window
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i can't see anything i swerve guess what i swerve into a human a human man oh wow
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that's all i hear oh my god window shatters glass in my face no
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glass in my face oh my god i pull over i i get out there's a man his leg looks
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like it's touching his [ __ ] neck whoa yeah he he
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puts his body up like pro cr pulls himself up and i'm like what the [ __ ] what the [ __ ]
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what happened three of his friends come running he ran he ran illegally across the street they stayed so i hit him his
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fault okay yeah shatter my windshield smash my hood i pull over a woman pulls over some
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[ __ ] [ __ ] in a in a minivan pulls over and is like i saw it i saw i bet you're [ __ ] up i bet you're drunk you
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hit this guy how did you not see him and i was like shut the [ __ ] up lady i was losing my mind i'm trying to stay
00:16:03
balanced i said let me call the cops and the guy goes don't call the cops i was like let me call the cops i'm going to call an ambulance to make sure you're okay he goes don't call the [ __ ] cops
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get the [ __ ] out of here don't call the cops and i was like why and he's like just get the [ __ ] out of here and leave me alone so i call the cops anyway
00:16:16
because i'm like this is shady he could leave and then two years later be like right my neck i'm [ __ ] gonna sue you
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for millions of dollars yeah i call the cops and in traditional lapd fashion they don't show up for i'm there
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for a half an hour in the rain half an hour in the rain yeah this guy's there for probably 15 minutes that half hour
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and then finally goes [ __ ] this and gets up and like hobbles away with his friend and i'm like dude stay you can't leave let me give you my information and the
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guy's like [ __ ] you get away from me yeah they all had backpacks on i imagine they either file
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can i do it pedophiles well can i do it my bad can i do it okay because you just did it
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i imagine they were either had drugs in their backpack had a warrant for their arrest or they just come from a place where they [ __ ] kids
00:17:00
pedophile because they stole the backpacks from kids yeah dude you wouldn't let me finish the joke you just cut me off at the [ __ ] turn i wanted to laugh
00:17:06
well you stole it you stole the laugh that's life okay i told you i got arrested in front
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of the comedy store no yeah i got pulled over you remember when that guy got shot at the comedy store
00:17:17
a man got shot in the chest and died remember that do you not remember that it was a gang member that got shot and killed at the comedy store no
00:17:23
you don't remember this i do no yeah he got shot and killed at point playing range but it was terrible and you know no one gave a [ __ ] you know why why he
00:17:30
was a pedophile are you being real no tell your story you know who held them who josh nasser
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really yeah he held that man's dead body in his arms trying to like
00:17:42
console him is he a pedophile yes no he's no josh nash is a great guy but
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you know all those doormen at the comedy store had to get like trauma therapy why
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when you see a guy die in front of you you need therapy the guy died on one of my flights i saw a guy die on my flight
00:18:01
and i saw and i literally said out loud if this makes me [ __ ] late to my gig i'm gonna be so mad
00:18:06
are you really yeah yeah i saw a jogger yes jogger dead
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in la jolla oh no dude here's a a dude died next to me in an aaa meeting
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no yeah i was at a wednesday night a meeting right in la jolla it was called winner circle
00:18:24
winners circles circle yeah i don't know if it's still there but it was this is in the 80s
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because i was in high school i was in a.a in the high school you started a.a yeah you've been there
00:18:36
yeah yeah so um i remember he sat next to me yeah
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and then the a meeting started and some guys up there going yeah so you know my last drunk was on a cliff i almost
00:18:49
jumped off and this and that and i turned to my lap and this dude just like that wait did he die during the
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meeting yeah yeah maybe the share was bad heart attack yeah heart attack
00:19:01
yeah it was a heart attack but then here's the [ __ ] up part he was in la jolla so we had a couple of
00:19:06
doctors in there right so they they take the guy out but then they're like keep the meeting going yeah you got
00:19:13
to stay now you really got to stay sober yeah right because this is a dead guy i'm going to want to but what was [ __ ] up is i'm sharing oh right but all i
00:19:21
hear is them doing cpr right so am i wrong
00:19:26
yeah it was [ __ ] it was [ __ ] up my share so you got a bad share because of the cpa yeah i was like i'm bobby alcohol
00:19:32
like three two right one right and three two one but my mom three two i was
00:19:38
like what the [ __ ] i can't get it out so it ruined your moment it won't ruin that meeting but i
00:19:44
remember him dying it was really did you ever try to be funny at aa meetings oh dude i used to go like this they used to
00:19:51
go um when i was in rehab yeah um they would take you to meetings and you know you they go is there any
00:19:57
newcomers right so you go you know i'm bobby i'm an alcoholic people hi bobby right i
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used to go i'm and i just go yummy alcoholic right and me and my
00:20:08
friend are you not with me you're not supposed to say their names yeah he's dead but uh pedophile
00:20:13
[Laughter] he uh we him and i would giggle
00:20:19
laughing yeah and he would do the same thing he would like share i'm john and just fart and we would just laugh
00:20:25
and out of the um 22 kids right that went to that rehab him and i
00:20:30
were the only one that stays over wow i saw him four years ago i was at wise guys saw
00:20:36
like salt lake and um he was in the front row he was yeah he's my boy how'd he die he's not dead i lied is he a
00:20:44
pedophile no whoa he's a good dude that's a lot of information to put out about a guy that you did his full legal name what if he
00:20:49
gets fired now he's not he's a good dude what is he sober where is he i don't know i didn't know [ __ ] man let's find
00:20:55
out i don't know where john besonic is don't stop saying his whole name he no this is the good guy he's my friend from rehab
00:21:02
okay okay you don't know you don't know what if he's up to some bad [ __ ] now i think
00:21:08
about that all the time what if someone from your past that used to love it gets into some [ __ ] now that you're like [ __ ] i can't believe somebody from
00:21:14
my there was a t uh a kid from my high school who um got arrested for jerking off
00:21:19
outside of like a papa john's staring at high school teenage girls can i tell you something what he looked
00:21:26
a lot like you i swear to god in my life i swear to god in my life
00:21:31
can i show this is insane yeah yeah [Laughter]
00:21:44
this guy looks like you dude in in charge of sexual exploitation with
00:21:49
childhood police say he's from amazon inside his pants on an ice cream parlor window sorry not a papa john george remember i told you what i wanted my
00:21:55
look to be bobby this is the look i'm going for i was going to get beard implants that's
00:22:01
you that's who i wanted to be yeah there's a kid i went to good luck as a kid i went to high school with it's a good look
00:22:07
let's be honest that's a shady good look he looks dope yeah it looks dope this kid was a cool a party animal man we
00:22:13
used to get high and watch belly at his house remember the movie belly yeah yeah yeah he got charged masturbating
00:22:18
outside of an ice cream parlor window can i tell you another [ __ ] up story because it reminds me of that one of
00:22:23
course i used to work at a restaurant called the brockton villa it's in la jolla wait a minute it's
00:22:29
still there yeah i know i know that restaurant yeah i used to wait tables there you did yeah yeah i used to wear a tie you know what i
00:22:35
mean yeah i put my hair in a ponytail yeah and do the wine and the whole thing that's so [ __ ] funny i know it was
00:22:42
just you holding a wine bottle with it i was pro dude i've had all kinds of jobs bro okay pitch me right now you're we're
00:22:48
i'm at the brockton villa right now yeah okay ready here we go well anyway yeah and that's uh hey um
00:22:54
welcome to the brockton villa uh would you like to hear about our specials uh yeah sure yeah sure we have a salmon
00:23:00
fillet that's lightly crusted with uh um a little crumbs i don't know the [ __ ] thing but like lightly crusted we have a
00:23:06
tomato basil soup that's freshly made um in-house and we also have um
00:23:12
a banana pudding cake that we made great yeah so um
00:23:19
is there any way i could speak to a manager i'm a little dissatisfied with the
00:23:24
service off of that sketchbook oh my god i love stitch fix you know why because shopping for new
00:23:29
clothes is annoying stressful i don't like it they make it easy to do the work for you and they send you what they
00:23:35
think you like based on what you told them that you like but if stitch fix didn't have that magic eye yeah you know
00:23:41
what i mean they have a magic eye they got that you fill out the quiz and stuff and the form yeah and you you you will
00:23:48
literally get the things right that you desired that you didn't think you wanted you didn't even know they offer clothing
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we only use the best we use ship station for our merch here and it's a it's a machine
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try out uh shipstation we use it they're they're wonderful it's simple saves you money use our offer code bad friends to
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get a 60-day free trial just enough time to handle the holiday rush just go to shipstation.com click on the microphone at the top and enter the code bad
00:25:48
friends just go to shipstation.com click on the microphone at the top and enter bad friends ship station may
00:25:56
i'm sorry i didn't memorize that no yeah you should have mentalized the specialists [ __ ]
00:26:01
i was working there and there was this waitress who just beca
00:26:06
she was missing she disappeared yeah like and we one shift they're like yo i forgot her name
00:26:12
cindy i don't know if right now who knows she disappeared well she came back but i'll tell you what happened oh so she um
00:26:18
she came back yeah so for weeks she disappeared and then you know where they found her
00:26:25
um she they found her on catalina island in a hotel room tied to a bed what and
00:26:31
she had been repeatedly raped oh my god this is a terrible [ __ ] i know but like here's the good part oh there's the
00:26:37
good part yeah she turned into an angel [Laughter]
00:26:45
and she flew away into the sky no she um they found her she went back to work two
00:26:51
days later and i remember waiting tables with her her eye was still bloodshot
00:26:56
one of her pupils were like completely red did you talk to me yeah i go cindy
00:27:02
you're all right i'm fine are you all right well i don't know what to say nothing you say nothing no you
00:27:09
have to say something here's me here's your cindy you're back ready yeah say hi to me hi
00:27:14
hey hey that's weirder no hold on yeah
00:27:19
i uh what are you doing back here well i was just i got repeatedly raped
00:27:24
on a catalina island no i know yeah why don't you need to take some time for yourself money oh you do yeah
00:27:30
oh well do you want to take 46-47 because they don't dip but they've been here before yeah yeah that's terrible yeah she
00:27:37
worked she worked the woman disappeared she came back she came back she came back that's awful dude i didn't do it
00:27:46
well that's so sad i would never be able to
00:27:51
do anything like that sexually abuse or assault somebody i would not even conceive of it i [ __ ] hope not you're
00:27:57
saying it like it's a thing that you might it's like you're talking about it like it's skydiving yeah no i don't think i could do that i
00:28:04
don't know if that's for me that's insane i know but i couldn't no
00:28:09
[ __ ] yeah most humans don't because it's like the motive like first of all what would motivate me to do it you have to
00:28:15
ask that would you ever join a gang oh yeah you would have you would have joined
00:28:20
again yeah but as soon as there's initiations i wouldn't be able to do it because they beat you up no even you
00:28:26
know how some gangs are like you know you gotta kill two humans you don't mean to join the gang well what about you gotta get jumped in first first of all
00:28:32
they they beat the [ __ ] out of the jumping i cuz i don't have like this right nerve endings because when ari
00:28:38
shafir beat the [ __ ] out of me i didn't really feel anything oh so you could take a jump in yeah i can take that did
00:28:44
the yakuza jump people in no they chop a finger off that's tight which one do they do this
00:28:50
one your ring finger i think so yeah because you're married to the game yeah yeah that's [ __ ] they took the finger i couldn't do that could you i could
00:28:56
take a finger more than i would take a beating what because i've been in enough fist fights and fights hurt a lot and
00:29:02
and one-on-one sucks if you're getting beat by like five six dudes yeah they could beat you they could beat you to
00:29:08
death or you could your brain could go gone yeah but not if you do this i do this when i'm being beat up they can still get you dude they kick you in the
00:29:14
head enough times you die yeah cut off my finger fine yeah but did they as long as they got the proper stuff to wrap it
00:29:20
what if there was a gang that like cut off your nut sack would you do that no way one nut no
00:29:26
half a knot yeah okay half a nut seems okay half a nut's fine
00:29:32
yeah yeah yeah but you but just get rid of one then cause a half enough probably doesn't work it probably
00:29:38
doesn't look good well you can't tell it's in a sack and then you'd have to explain it you know i had those refrigerators you know those
00:29:44
refrigerators that you can look inside and see what's inside the inside the fridge you've ever seen this there's like translucent yeah that'd be
00:29:50
cool if you could look inside your sack and see which because i i would love to see what's going on inside of myself oh
00:29:55
yeah my might it would be a lazy party yeah yeah my dudes would be just like floating there like this here's my
00:30:01
here's my guys like this as soon as you open it up here's my guys hey what what are you yeah what are you
00:30:07
doing here yeah what are you doing in here yeah yeah what what are you doing
00:30:13
yeah yeah one time in college yeah um i had um [Music] i got this thing i had this thing it's
00:30:20
like pain in my nut and the doctor told me to go jerk off in a hot tub i swear i swear to god i swear to god on my life
00:30:27
he told me masturbate in a hot tub so i did it didn't go away really no didn't go
00:30:34
away and i went back and i said i did what you said and it didn't go away and he goes huh that's it
00:30:39
a doctor yeah he goes my dad my mom and dad had a bathtub a jetted tub no it was just a regular
00:30:46
bed but the faucet of the bathtub was so strong you'd put it against your [ __ ] so it'd sit there like this
00:30:52
right well my dad was up parents were at work and i like this and it would go down and
00:30:58
i would go and i would just jerk off with the water flowing on it wait wait ow ow on like
00:31:04
going on the head of your penis yeah yeah yeah what yeah yeah but i would jerk off too it felt so good
00:31:10
so hard water yeah and i would jerk off too like this right yeah and it'll go like this like
00:31:15
this and then one time and this is not a lie i swear to god i go and i was making this noise
00:31:20
and then all of a sudden here and i turn around it's my dad [Laughter]
00:31:27
and he never brought it up we never really he never discussed it did you not
00:31:32
no why i went ugh and i stopped my dad and and we locked eyes
00:31:39
like this yeah and he walked out of the room and there was just like great shame yeah
00:31:44
yeah it is you know that's how i when i jerk off when i was young when i first started jerking off i did what i call
00:31:50
the rock star slide what's up i would jerk off like this always
00:31:55
spread like cause you know rather with a guitar so this is literally because my desk was about this height at home so if i was
00:32:02
looking a point i would jerk off like this into something on the ground yeah i would always rock star slide and one
00:32:07
time after i was rock star sliding i had been jerking off twice or three times or four times that that day because i was young and i was wearing basketball
00:32:13
shorts and i sat down on the couch and my knees were discolored because i
00:32:18
was in that new position and my dad was like what the [ __ ] you been doing really yeah he saw my knees like what's
00:32:25
wrong what happened was that from basketball i was like yeah i took a still spill and basketball yeah i bruised my
00:32:32
knees because i jerked off so much i rockstar slided because it was my favorite way to come were you like at
00:32:38
that age were you cause i was such a depressed kid were you depressed i know you always happy go lucky no i i i only
00:32:45
i went through depression i went through depression um a few times when i first went to high school i was
00:32:51
very depressed because um i had no friends i went to a different school than all my friends went to i had no friends i was a [ __ ]
00:32:57
total loser my mom knew things were bad because i was doing really good in school she said that she goes you were
00:33:02
killing it i knew something was wrong i was getting straight a's she was like something's wrong because my whole life
00:33:07
i never got straight oh you put your attention on is that when
00:33:13
you focus on school because i didn't have any friends and then i slowly made friends and my grades went way down
00:33:18
drugs buds so that was that was my big problem drugs and friends they plummeted my grades and i was i wasn't oppressing but
00:33:25
i was oppressed at the beginning for a long time and i didn't think about killing myself but i used to cry a lot in my room to
00:33:31
um pearl jams phytology oh really i did if i got in a fight with
00:33:36
my parents i put on the song better man and i would cry yeah when i lived in minnesota and then we moved to san diego
00:33:42
i remember this distinctly the first day of school we had soft we played softball and i was running right to a base
00:33:49
and this filipino just kicked me in the nuts for no reason
00:33:55
it hurt so bad i thought i was gonna die and i was crying and no one helped me
00:34:01
right yeah that's the epitome of my life did you throw up i didn't throw up but i just remember going i i even as that age
00:34:09
i had always said thoughts of just vanishing or dying of going away you have going away your brother says the
00:34:15
same things you know that i know my brother does that's so sad to me because you have to understand because of the trauma at home i understand i
00:34:22
know it's just it's still sad that you want to i know but i'm just telling you [ __ ] yeah we all but the trauma i'm not going to get into it but the trauma
00:34:28
at home and then when some filipino guy that you don't even know kicks you in the nut sack yeah right you can't even
00:34:34
have that pleasure of stealing a base or whatever well don't steal don't steal you just learned that don't steal a
00:34:39
troll jam don't steal oh that's what it was that was that was that was that was retribution i got i
00:34:45
got i took a baseball to the nuts when i was in little league and i threw up for like no [ __ ] like two minutes straight
00:34:50
[Music] i remember having like a big breakfast and i swear to god my dad had yelled at me over and over
00:34:57
wear a cup wear a cup wear a cup and i didn't wear a cup and i was playing the hot pocket shortstop
00:35:02
caught one right in the nards and i'm not it was almost ins it was almost instantaneous it was like it was like ball hit nut
00:35:09
[Applause] i couldn't stop throwing up imagine how funny it would be if when you if you died right
00:35:15
and you're in heaven and you're like hey could i see the andrew santino clips right and god's like you mean the most
00:35:22
embarrassing moments that would be ever as a kid imagine being in theater watching your friends embarrassing
00:35:27
moment clips as a kid all the way up to their other that's what heaven really is we would laugh you would laugh to the
00:35:33
point where you would die again i would love to be able to see that right before i i die yeah on my deathbed if they could show you your best of the best of
00:35:39
yeah oh my god one of my most one of my most embarrassing another embarrassing moment i was masturbating in my parents
00:35:46
in my mom's room because they had the vcr in their room and i had a vcr in yeah and i i thought my mom was
00:35:53
gone my dad might have been in the basement but i thought my mom was not home and i thought it was my little sister and i was jerking off and my sister i
00:36:00
mean my mom came in the room but i couldn't see her i was on the other side of the room and i and i was jerking off and i just
00:36:07
go katie get out get and my mom goes it's me bud
00:36:14
really and i and dude i'm i'm not i'm not kidding yeah i i started sweating getting hot i was gonna i was having
00:36:20
like a panic attack for the first time in my life yeah and my dick got so soft yeah that it got it that it got so small
00:36:27
and hard again do you know when it gets hard if you if you ever been so scared and your dick gets small and hard no it gets like swollen and tight
00:36:33
you know that it gets so tight and swollen but oh my god it got so scary well you're let's not talk about my [ __ ]
00:36:40
dick with your dick okay but i got tiny and scared i guess why would you attack me you just said that's never happened to
00:36:45
me but we're trying to be relatable here to each other okay i'm sorry i'm not stepping on you all right you jerked off in a [ __ ] tub i didn't mock how
00:36:51
insane that was that you let 90 miles an hour rushing water penetrate the head of your penis
00:36:57
psycho what do you guys think i thought that was really funny
00:37:02
anyway now we have to fast forward almost a year to may 2021
00:37:08
or think of the mayo special what happened that day well again
00:37:14
andrew had his vaccine shot the day before he wasn't feeling that
00:37:20
well bobby felt the energy was a little off i think they're super funny like they
00:37:26
always are but they didn't feel it so we we shelved this episode again and and re-recorded a couple days later on
00:37:33
the same set and and if you go to our website you'll see that you know the think of the amigos was was
00:37:39
air and you'll see that is exactly the same set but we've never seen uh or
00:37:44
you've never seen this this this episode so here's the thing on the mario special
00:37:51
[Music] bro you can't do that anymore
00:38:04
when i used to go to um tijuana speedy you you would walk down the street like in tijuana back in the
00:38:10
late 80s early 90s yeah and you'd have like just kids come up to you selling
00:38:15
chicklets mr please mister yeah and you're like the [ __ ] off
00:38:21
do you buy you buy checklist please i was telling her i was telling her earlier i used to i used to sell corn
00:38:27
sell corn do you know that oh yeah oh yeah yeah
00:38:34
by the way watching you sell corn what a great bit to watch you sell corn i wish i was around for that yeah so i
00:38:39
had i had to wake up five in the morning and pick up uh corn from donald yacia's
00:38:44
farm and go to the side of the freeway and i hit this corn stand
00:38:50
and i told the mexican guys to um make me a sign a big corn sign because no one was
00:38:56
coming right so i was like on the side of the road and the sign said crawn
00:39:06
c-r-o-n fresh i said so the signs at cron right and then um
00:39:12
so a couple days later like not a single person came to my corn stand your crown stand my chron sense yeah i told my dad
00:39:20
my dad goes you know why like why because you have to hear the corn
00:39:25
you have to what yell the corn oh you have to yell i'm on the side of the freeway yeah so
00:39:31
now the next day right yeah i've got corn in my hand right and i'm going
00:39:38
like screaming it right and i had to do it because i had this fear that my dad would be across the street watching you
00:39:43
watching me yeah yeah and um it was a nice did you sell did you make any money doing that for real
00:39:50
you did it for like how long you said a whole whole summer and he he i had to work 12 hours oh my god and he gave me a
00:39:57
hundred bucks for 12 hours yeah yeah and she this little one i can't even uh
00:40:03
ungrateful little girl right rude she goes today on the car what were you doing at
00:40:08
19. so i was telling her i was selling corn i work constructions right and i go if i was on you know what i mean a radio
00:40:15
show like this or a podcast it would have been a life changer it would have been a dream but this means
00:40:22
nothing to her it means zero zero less than zero nothing how excited are you to come see us
00:40:28
oh my god i have breath not really nothing at all obviously not
00:40:35
at all a little no it's nothing nothing it's [ __ ] honestly that
00:40:40
really breaks my heart yeah and i i i said to her i said come on jewel let's go and she does this face
00:40:45
like she has to go to jury do it dude that's right she goes like that did you do that no you're the mic closer
00:40:52
to your face we even got you and we don't even know how to do this yet after [ __ ] 67 weeks i don't even know what this is
00:40:58
now yeah it's over a year yeah what have you what have you taken away from this show that you really do enjoy
00:41:05
doing um reading the scripts oh you love reading experiences okay well we maybe should read a script today do we have a
00:41:11
mexican by the way happy cinco de mayo to our what is it what what i know you're into history big time
00:41:18
and you know and i always i always call you when i have historical questions and things that i don't know much about
00:41:23
right i don't know anything about the cinco de demaio i know it's the fifth of may fifth of may and so that's gonna be
00:41:29
the sixth of may why so
00:41:37
okay check this out yeah the reason do you know why it falls on the fifth why because of how many soldiers have fought
00:41:43
in the spanish uh mexican-american war this there was a three war people only know spanish america there was a spanish
00:41:49
mexican-american war right i'm dead serious i love it and there were five soldiers right that's all
00:41:55
that's all mexico had okay we have those five and there's oh that's what it was right well they had six it was gonna be siete de mayo
00:42:08
is six i think i know spanish and um i think i know spanish also you're spanish
00:42:13
and they're mexican so it's got to be different totally different languages yeah it's got to be different this is what's so annoying about you
00:42:19
you get real uppity about i hate them you speak spain spanish this is mexican
00:42:24
spanish upstart oh my god you know how much hardcore debt consumed my life
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00:43:36
bad friends hello fresh oh my god i love hello fresh and i you know when that box of goodies
00:43:42
you know there's a box you go like this when you see it yeah you put your fingers it's diabolical so what happens i drive
00:43:47
up i see the box we open up the box there's it's easy instructions pre-portioned meals pea potion meals
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right you make it your family loves it yup it's the best check it out and you can go back to doing what you love they
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meals and three free gifts hello fresh america's number one meal kit totally different anyway so the siete de mayo
00:45:16
was going to be the day and the spanish-american mexican war what ended up happening is the the
00:45:21
mexicans brought food on the first day of the of the war you know before we fight you know for it they brought these
00:45:27
delicious tacos and so papitas and cochulos and um crocandes uh and uh
00:45:35
chicharrones and uh porcatos ellos do you know pocatos
00:45:40
it's like you know pork belly i just said i knew what it was you know what it is pork belly it's well it's just like
00:45:47
pork belly and then there was uh emportianos and portanos are like wrapped potatoes yeah
00:45:54
i know you know potatoes red potato skins exactly right
00:45:59
so anyway um they brought this to the war the americans realized these guys are great allies they're good with their
00:46:05
hands they're good building and the spaniards came dressed real fancy real fancy they're like we don't want to
00:46:11
get dirt on our charts they didn't want to get dirt on their charts yeah and the americans immediately sided with the
00:46:16
mexicans we beat them yeah that's the celebration of that's amazing and thank you so much and i regret asking yeah i
00:46:22
regret asking okay um also um i just remember this in third grade um so you know when i lived in minnesota
00:46:29
yeah okay landa lakes the land of lakes i lived in edina minnesota and i used to my i used to have these
00:46:35
birthday parties yeah and all the white kids i had only white kid friends right yeah because i'm elite
00:46:40
i'm an elitist you are and they you know they've always like you know probably still kind of only have white friends no
00:46:46
i have some uh no that's not true that's crazy the majority of your friends are white let me think
00:46:51
well yeah yeah so i was thinking yeah yeah trying i thought of not a single black person they're white no so anyway um
00:46:59
um my dad for i think was third grade second grade or whatever they got me a pinata oh right yeah and at my birthday
00:47:06
party and they blindfolded us you know regular kids got regular blindfold i got dental
00:47:12
floss it's an old chuck oh joke
00:47:17
no i had the regular the regular um blindfold right and it took us about 45
00:47:22
minutes yeah deep busted open what was inside nothing they forgot to film yes your dad just
00:47:29
don't know they didn't know my parents didn't know what it was you know what they just thought beat it up
00:47:35
yeah that's that's the whole purpose of it yeah it's just to beat up a donkey hit the donkey yeah yeah but i get
00:47:41
they're i'm not they're not wrong i think it's so lame that they don't come pre-stuffed put stuff in there why do i have to put
00:47:47
stuff in there right yeah they have to put it yeah you have to put it in they forgot and if you're going to put stuff in there put money money
00:47:53
cocaine cocaine right some weed maybe a little imagine as a kid
00:47:59
right honey weed and cocaine yeah i would just be like
00:48:04
you do love me or whatever care yeah have you ever had a pinata root yeah but in the philippines we use a pot
00:48:11
oh my god let's let's go oh so sad wait you use a pot from your kitchen yeah
00:48:17
wait wait wait so you let me just ask so you take you dangle a pot
00:48:23
right no no they have a pinata but they hit it with a pot no no we use a pot the pinata is the
00:48:30
part
00:48:37
a big pot filled with what um coins and chocolate and yeah they hang it from a tree yeah yeah and what do you hit it
00:48:43
with just a stick a stick yeah yeah that is absolutely
00:49:00
makes sense though because you can fill the pot obviously with either water right or candy right and there it is
00:49:07
yeah so there what is it called oh my god that is so [ __ ] funny it says oh
00:49:12
it's a ceramic pot so it's not metal it's ceramic parts of it like smack you in the face
00:49:18
you know it's like an ied yeah it's like so that's you there you
00:49:24
are yeah right there yeah that's hella so you hit the ceramic pot it shatters and everything comes out but doesn't
00:49:29
that stuff either shatter and hit kids because ceramic is sharp when it breaks yeah but i've never seen you have the eye yeah you have i that's why they put
00:49:36
it on the eyes so they don't that blindfold that's actually the smaller guy that guides their eyes how about this are they all wearing shoes
00:49:42
i don't think so oh my god shards of ceramic just on the floor that's what i love the recklessness of other countries
00:49:48
they don't care there it is again i'm telling you right now andrew wow did i ever tell you about our talent show no
00:49:54
what talent show all right so kalila the last time we were in the philippines we were in cebu right yeah
00:50:01
and college goes one day she goes let's do a talent show yeah i go like amongst ourselves
00:50:07
no that's the island the whole island yeah okay so go well how does that work i
00:50:13
mean i mean we had nothing we're leaving we're going to another island three days i mean we had plans right oh no no it's
00:50:19
called friend up right okay so i go and and i go where are we gonna do it we're gonna it's what
00:50:24
some gymnasium yeah some outdoor gymnasium right and i go who's hosting it i know this
00:50:29
gay guy that you know man whatever right so the whole family go out there right and um
00:50:36
it it literally was like american idol like like
00:50:41
a big the whole town came oh wow all right you were there yeah yeah the whole town came right and i was like stressing
00:50:47
out now yeah like i'm judging it right oh they want you to be a judge it's my talent shower it's my talent show
00:50:54
i thought it's such a thing that's taking place no no i'm doing it bobby producing it this is bobby lee presents
00:50:59
okay talent show okay right yeah right so then we um we show up there and i'm like oh we need categories right so we
00:51:05
had dance category ooh right any good dancers oh my god i mean it was like
00:51:11
american idol level like legit they they wrote it was like they're wearing costumes
00:51:16
wearing costumes flip fire pirate pirates
00:51:23
how does this hap how did you go see look so that's this is it oh my god so this is
00:51:29
how did you set this up bobby i don't know it was one of those things where you kind of wished it and it happened it
00:51:36
happened so wait can you blow that up that so this was the uh pension pull and let's see this so this is okay
00:51:45
we can't hear it yeah also by the way look but look just watch yeah
00:51:50
so basically they're not even compete this is just us introducing the people and that guy on the left
00:51:57
what now this guy's okay oh whoa yeah
00:52:02
right they're trying to up up each other right right wow yeah that's dope i we had one guy
00:52:09
what was the winner who won i don't remember but we had this one guy come out with a bucket of gasoline
00:52:20
yeah he drank this gasoline what do you mean and swallowed it yeah but then did that
00:52:26
right he he looked like ghost rider his whole head yeah right and i was like
00:52:33
we were screaming right and then his buddy right tries to up him
00:52:38
right because he's doing fire right so he goes i'm just gonna run like spider-man on the side of the wall
00:52:46
like run up the wall bro this guy just starts booking it
00:52:51
right looking it starts climbing the wall there's no [ __ ] you know nothing to hold onto yeah it's like free solo
00:52:56
but like speed version right right he's finding the cracks he's up there he's [ __ ] 300 feet up there climbing the
00:53:02
wall yeah he's on top of the wall this gigantic school wall and he he comes he goes did i win i could i don't know if
00:53:09
that's it but it was like how much how much money did they win i don't know like a hundred a hundred so
00:53:16
so i don't know i don't know nothing but you guys just got a free fa a talent show and these people worked
00:53:22
super hard for it you don't understand it was it was a joke sold out right
00:53:29
it was people everyone in the town yeah and so
00:53:35
afterwards i'm like are you a celebrity now at this point do they know you they i don't know i don't know if they know
00:53:41
who i am are were people kind of like knowing who he was no nobody knows i mean that's their yeah which is awesome that's awesome and then i go um
00:53:48
afterwards i was like and also i there were times
00:53:53
where i thought you'd have to call 9-1-1 because i was laughing
00:53:58
so hard i was on the floor yeah holding my sides tears right
00:54:04
just you know i couldn't i breathed yeah i was laughing so hard so i thought um
00:54:11
let's make this a show yeah that should be a show bobby lee presents the philippines yeah yeah
00:54:16
on an island so i was going to fly out you oh my god andy letterman and me we judge so funny right joe coy will host it of
00:54:24
course right and it would be uh a competition i honestly this is such a good idea i would love to see this oh
00:54:31
americans judging i already pitched it to aj they want to do it it's so comedy so yeah yeah i want to do it but then
00:54:38
the pandemic hit i know and i mean our dreams were crushed but you you have to be a judge no yes or you have to host it
00:54:45
maybe you oh my god she hosts yeah you host it okay so look into the camera and i want you to do an introduction to
00:54:50
welcome to bobby lee's uh philippe philippines got talent come on say your name
00:54:55
and some energy though oh so just listen all right literally don't half-ass it literally feel feel it
00:55:02
the crowd yeah feel what you're gonna feel like when you're uh on day right i don't have the feeling
00:55:10
what do you mean i said go back try to try to get gr get the feeling okay close
00:55:15
your eyes real fast ready yeah visualize 5 000 screaming people in cebu screaming at the top of their lungs what do they
00:55:21
scream what's a word what's uh they say okay close your eyes yeah like anywhere else
00:55:27
yeah so 5 000. [Applause]
00:55:41
[Laughter]
00:55:47
i present to you rudy but you zip
00:55:54
hello everyone i'm rudy jules and welcome to bobby lee's got talent show
00:56:00
yes great perfect go ahead keep going who are some of the contestants today
00:56:06
or the categories the categories the categories for today are dancing singing
00:56:11
and eating eating eating [Laughter]
00:56:25
i'll tell you why it'll freak her out why i think it'd be easier here than there well because it's time she's from
00:56:30
there oh yeah i mean her family's going to be there her friends are going to be there and there's a lot of pressure see look
00:56:36
at her she's already having a pound i mean you go to america you become a star and you go back think of how popular
00:56:42
you'll be in cebu nobody watches listen bro hey nobody listens to bad friends
00:56:47
there we have cebu fans two three maybe but fine well three is enough and they spread the word like
00:56:53
wildfire yeah yeah you're a big dog in cebu man honestly i would love if i wish there
00:56:58
was someone listening that could vouch that there are people in cebu that listen i guarantee you there are what about like expats and stuff
00:57:04
i'm being real okay 100 even is enough to spread it around yeah i bet you she's acquired some fans in cebu somebody's
00:57:11
got to know you but you know what's great though in college i think when you go to college in america i think
00:57:16
i think algae will be like you know an ap you know bio or whatever uh-huh and go are you rudy don't you
00:57:23
think do you think you think yeah someone's going to go someone's going to go and they're going to be like nerd's going to
00:57:29
walk up with books and go excuse me are you are you rudy jewels [Laughter]
00:57:35
what are you going to say what did he say what are you going to say what do you say hi are you rudy jules yeah his
00:57:40
buddy too that's my buddy oh my god i think that's rudy jules yeah are you already jules
00:57:46
yes it's me oh yeah we're in the same class together nice
00:57:52
nice
00:57:57
yeah what do they like they're both really weird oh cool man so tell me are you are are you
00:58:03
going to keep doing the show when you go to college because you're here in college with us yeah i think so oh wow
00:58:09
is it is it cool being a celebrity i'm not a celebrity
00:58:15
i'm we're nervous right we're usually confident like when we're not around people like you but right now
00:58:20
we don't even ever even talk like this normally but we're right now we're talking like this because we're so nervous right now yeah do you want to
00:58:26
come party with us um tonight yeah no thank you how about what it's friday it's friday
00:58:32
i'm really sleepy oh yeah that's what she does on the show yeah she's just leaving the show cool that's
00:58:39
crazy all right maybe we'll see you around yeah yeah okay bye wow that's why yeah wow you know how to
00:58:44
handle it no no that's being rude no no she doesn't know that's being rude
00:58:51
that's being [ __ ] real that's how she would handle it no no you have to do this okay dude you have to be like dude
00:58:57
i was just okay i want to tell you something okay all right i was just in oklahoma i was just yeah i forgot you were in
00:59:02
oklahoma the wind came down the plane i have to say something about right like i whenever i fly to a place like
00:59:09
oklahoma or tulsa or whatever same place yeah i get nervous because i think because i
00:59:14
don't really do gigs there ever i've never done a gig there yeah yeah so it's like i don't know much about it right so
00:59:19
to me it's like una bomber yeah that too yeah yeah but i get nervous because i think um maybe those because i know so
00:59:26
it's a big trumpy place i think uh-huh so i get i feel like there's you feel like you're going to be i'm going to feel i'm not a part
00:59:32
of or feel you know scared whatever but i i had the best time of my life it was awesome oh my god
00:59:39
it was amazing well shooting was great but like then hanging out hanging out was great because i would i would take those scooters i was in downtown tulsa
00:59:45
sure and i'd go to restaurants right and i went to this one we're called um bull in the alley i like i like the name
00:59:52
they were really good food steaks and stuff like that amazing it was amazing so i sat there in bull in the alley
00:59:58
and um i'm just sitting there waiting for my food and i see this 50 60 year old lady
01:00:06
she's masked all right and she's i'm sitting here eating like this and she's right here and she's doing this
01:00:12
just standing next to you staring at you staring at me she's like literally right here there's
01:00:18
a shield but she's yeah right and i'm like i have my bacon appetizer and some salad
01:00:25
i keep looking over right say hi hi
01:00:30
because i hear are you bobby lee i go yeah she goes
01:00:36
i love you i love you on magnum p.i whatever yes which is a weird no that's awesome okay it's like oh great you
01:00:42
watched so yeah i think they just got picked up from there that's great that's great and she just stood there
01:00:49
for 12 minutes i like this one yeah she's cool and i and then i go oh so what do you do she said i i i don't live
01:00:55
it i don't live here ah we're just visiting here me and my mum okay go get my daughter oh boy yeah get your daughter goes
01:01:01
right yeah what the [ __ ] she comes back with now there's two
01:01:06
right right next to me right and it's just like i'm just you know when you're in a situation like that
01:01:11
also it's like because of the pandemic and because i haven't been you know i haven't been to a restaurant i haven't been out with
01:01:17
anybody right that you're like trying to yeah you know you're trying to engage
01:01:24
and not be a dick but it's hard because you're it's also weird in the masks and the separation right so what i what i
01:01:30
figured out to do is like just kind of like get get to have a nice day as quickly as
01:01:36
you can yeah right so it's basically like yeah so i'm shooting the show um right here it's it's not out yet and um
01:01:44
you know i really like those anyway have a nice day have a good meal that's that well that's a polite way to do it they used to stay they didn't leave
01:01:50
[Laughter] and then um in back of me and um i heard
01:01:58
there was another couple an old couple probably six years old and this man was like
01:02:05
he got laughing like that i turned around i go what's up you guys i love you on podcast man
01:02:12
right and i go oh cool and she it's no it's i think either tiger belly or bad friends sure
01:02:19
no civ was it what's that what sibling rivalry i don't
01:02:25
even know what that is it's oliver hudson's and kate hutch oh and kate hudson show yeah i go oh yeah and i thought you know i mean it'd be a bad
01:02:31
friends thing did he look like a he sounds like a bad friends fan he doesn't sound like a kate hudson yeah
01:02:38
but you have to beat jewels what i'm saying is is that in if when you're in college you got to be a sweetie and people recognize you i will no you
01:02:44
weren't that was not though nice try it again because it's both of you all right well then try it again when it's just bobby bobby is the nerd and let's hear
01:02:51
how you handle this maybe we're playing it you know what we were playing it kind of unrealistic and okay
01:02:56
play it real solid real excuse me yeah hi um my name is frank and i'm um
01:03:04
i live and i left that's still i don't live here no i'm just i'm sitting three rows back and back of you in class yeah
01:03:11
anyway i i don't but um i i know who you are
01:03:16
are you jewels your jewels from or they call you rudy on bad friends right yeah yeah i just i just want to let you know
01:03:22
that i'm like one of probably their biggest fan you guys biggest fan i mean i just i when i saw
01:03:28
you in class i like called like all my homies from back home and i said you can't [ __ ] believe
01:03:34
who's in my class and i just wanted to let you know that like i'm not being creepy or a weirdo
01:03:39
um i just want to um i just want ah it's hard for me to see i do i i want i want to save you
01:03:45
everything it's really nice uh you can call me jules not rudy and yeah maybe we
01:03:51
can talk some other time but i have to go well the class hasn't started yet and
01:03:57
the professor's not in yet i need to pull oh you need a poo yeah oh i'll just i'll be here when you get back okay i have to
01:04:05
poo at home i have to poo at home you're gonna leave please to walk because i don't have a car right so
01:04:11
before you go though can i just say can we ever hang out you think yeah yeah
01:04:16
[Laughter] can i give you a realistic version like
01:04:21
that ready i'll give you a real one okay okay
01:04:28
what what are you doing stop stop stop cut what cut wait i'm prepping it
01:04:34
that's how i prep cut for a second i'm a director okay cut for example that's how i prep bro yeah too much really yeah
01:04:42
too much i just feel like i invited a bad friend nobody right nobody
01:04:47
wait wait that's how i settle in i don't know this is what you're doing yeah that's how i settle in yeah as soon as that happens jules if you ever see
01:04:54
anyone do that get the [ __ ] out no okay all right so action hold on let me
01:04:59
settle yeah yeah yeah yeah no no no all right keep going
01:05:09
hey are you rudy jewel yeah yeah man i love that bad friends
01:05:16
are you in the movie there will be blood i just moved here from kentucky uh
01:05:23
you might think i look weird but it was because i was in a severe car accident how old are you 36 oh
01:05:31
i have to go yeah yeah there we go [Laughter]
01:05:40
[Applause] anyway i'm a big fan this is my first time in college because when i was 17 i
01:05:46
got into a bad car accident and i lost both of my parents and my brother my baby sister so i live alone and they
01:05:53
left me 6.8 million dollars i have nothing to do and no one to spend away i'm a really nice person just people
01:06:00
don't want to hang with me and i figure maybe you and i could go out to eat some food maybe later uh i already have a
01:06:06
boyfriend oh i don't want to be a boyfriend i just want a friend i already have a lot of friends wow ouch
01:06:14
but i could be i could be another look i'll just pay for everything for you guys and i'll just sit in the background
01:06:19
you won't even see me is that okay okay that's so [ __ ] up that's so
01:06:24
[ __ ] up that you said okay to that rudy that's gross okay she'll let yeah you pay for
01:06:30
everything and sit in the background no no no no no no no no no no no no no no sorry let me be no
01:06:36
stop let me all right as an outside observer right you're on the you're in the wrong no
01:06:41
i'll tell you why you're gonna let this guy pay for everything no because you're saying that she's there with her friends
01:06:47
yeah no she was alone no no no no you i see you're alone no no i just that was it i used to pay for you and
01:06:53
your friends right when they go out and i will be so i imagine
01:06:59
right you're at let's say olive garden watching right there's a there's a a main long table with her and all her
01:07:06
friends yeah and there's a two top with me are you with you there well yeah i think that's cool okay well i guess i
01:07:13
guess that's the best deal that i could get maybe you have to go well can i have your phone number real fast that we
01:07:18
trade swap numbers is that way i'll know where we're gonna meet i don't have my phone right now oh man
01:07:24
do you have to leave right now yeah you can just um dm me on instagram oh totally i will where are you headed
01:07:30
to now somewhere you look like you have to poop i have to go bye bye bye bye bye bye bye
01:07:37
as you walk away he's following you
01:07:43
that character dude jitter just a jittery man
01:07:48
honestly any kind of weird character voice that i take nowadays i've heard from south park over the years they have the
01:07:55
funniest [ __ ] characters that they put on that show and the voices are just those two guys [ __ ] around yeah i'm
01:08:00
so jealous of what they get to do yeah i mean we kind of get to do that on this [ __ ] show don't ever say that
01:08:06
i love that show i think south park is one of the greatest shows we're doing our our bit our bit and we're doing our
01:08:12
best i'm sorry you know what i'm really out of it right now because of the kovac oh my god it's killing me so did did you announce
01:08:18
everybody that you had then i got the vaccination shot i'm so loopy today yeah you feel weird i just i'm i'm sweaty i'm
01:08:26
hot i can't really think straight yeah well this wraps up the episode for today let
01:08:31
me know if you enjoyed it because if you did i might have a couple little extra things in the bowl that i could put
01:08:37
there for you anyway i hope you guys join us for this 2022
01:08:43
that starts now and that i think is going to be amazing we're going to try to make the show even bigger and better
01:08:48
if it's possible we're moving out to a new studio starting next month
01:08:54
so hopefully you guys will be there for us uh go to byfrenchmart.com
01:09:00
for that new merch that we put out please subscribe follow us on instagram and
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thank you for being about [Music]
01:09:14
hey everybody this is bobby lee your slept king and nosotros papaya if you love
01:09:20
tiger belly you're gonna love my new podcast with andrew santino it's called bad friends please
01:09:25
click on this subscription below link below sure do it again
01:09:31
hey everybody this is your slept king bobby lee i love you so much nosotros papaya
01:09:37
to you if you love tiger bella you're gonna love my new podcast with andrew santino it's called bad friends it comes
01:09:42
out every monday please link on the description hello [Laughter]
01:09:49
hey tiger belly fans that was my redheaded freak friend andrew santino if
01:09:54
you love tiger belly you're going to love my new podcast with andrew santino
01:09:59
it's called bad friends and uh it comes out every monday please
01:10:05
link on the description below click it hi tiger belly fan that was my very good
01:10:11
friend the redheaded king andrew santino hey tiger billy fran fans
01:10:16
i love you so much and um if you love tiger belly you're gonna love my new podcast with andy and it's called
01:10:23
it's called bad friends it comes out every monday please click on the link on the description below
01:10:29
that's great [Music]
