00:00:00
You two are bad friends. >> Who are these two idiots? >> A white dude and an Asian dude. You two
00:00:07
are disgusting. >> Oh, you two or something. >> We're bad friends.
00:00:12
>> What are you doing here? >> I'm back, baby. >> Richie. >> Richie, you're back. I mean, I see I
00:00:20
have eyeballs. I see you. You know what I mean? But why are you back? >> Cover in front.
00:00:23
>> I don't even know if I like it. >> No. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> You know what? We should get a We should
00:00:28
get an email to say who's coming. >> We should >> because when I walked in here, I kind of
00:00:33
had like a little bit of a traumatic, you know, response thing. >> It's triggering.
00:00:36
>> Yeah. >> I thought we had a positive relationship. >> No, because one time did we talk about
00:00:40
when I was on stage and then you were on the >> Oh, no. We didn't. But
00:00:44
>> I'm in the main room. I >> You're in the main room and what
00:00:47
happened? >> And then I I'm doing okay. I look to my right. There's Richie in the front row.
00:00:52
>> Why are you sitting in the front row? >> Well, I Well, I didn't mean to. I got
00:00:55
tickets cuz my friend was in town and he's a huge comedy fan. So I was like,
00:00:58
"Oh, cool. Let's go to the store." >> He wasn't laughing. He just had a
00:01:01
permanent smile. This is what he was doing. >> Yeah. Freaky. >> Freaky, dude. Freaking me out, dude.
00:01:07
>> Well, I was nervous. >> YOU'RE A FREAK. >> NO, >> you are.
00:01:11
>> You're a freak, dude. >> Yeah. I saw Mighty Supreme. >> I heard it's good.
00:01:15
>> It's great. >> Yeah. >> It's like five movies in one.
00:01:19
>> Are you being positive or ne negative? >> Positive. It's a lot of It's a long It's
00:01:22
a lot of stories in one. We discussed this the other day. It's a lot. It's
00:01:25
awesome, but it's like a lot of film. You could have made >> People get annoyed by this. You could
00:01:29
have made a great um limited run series TV show out of it. Oh, I see. >> Because there's so many sub stories
00:01:34
going on, like so many different stories >> that like, you know, you could have this
00:01:39
could have been stretched out. >> Did you see it? >> No. >> Yeah. Yeah.
00:01:42
>> I can't believe you didn't see it. >> Um I'm really full of anxiety right now.
00:01:47
>> Why? >> Cuz next week's the weekend. >> What is it? >> My special.
00:01:52
Oh, >> I know you're taping, >> you know. So, can I say something funny
00:01:55
that happened a couple days ago? >> I call Abby, my manager, >> and she I go,
00:01:59
>> "Does she have a phone?" >> No, I do a smoke thing. >> Bobby needs me.
00:02:05
>> Yeah. I um I go, "Well, what about intro music, right? How much does that cost?"
00:02:12
And this and that. And she goes, she goes, "Why don't you just use a public domain song
00:02:19
>> like a just like a from a from a free library?" >> Imagine this. Ladies and gentlemen, boys
00:02:24
and girls, Bobby Lee, take me out to the ball game. >> Look up the Amazing Grace one.
00:02:33
>> Happy birthday to That'd be such a funny song to come out to. >> Yeah. Yeah. I mean, public domain. I
00:02:39
mean, it would give you like a couple of minutes up top to joke about it if you did happy birthday.
00:02:43
>> Yeah, maybe. >> If you're like, "Hey, man, we can't afford it." See how elaborate this is?
00:02:48
>> Yeah. >> Are you excited to shoot? >> Uh, I don't know if excited is the word.
00:02:52
It's just like anxiet a lot of anxiety. Really? >> You've worked so hard on this. The hour
00:02:57
is going to be [ __ ] amazing. It's going to break records. >> You know, it's not. But, um,
00:03:00
>> it's going to get nominated. It's going to break records. It's going to be the
00:03:03
highest viewed special on Hulu in history. >> I have really bad jokes in it.
00:03:09
Well, that doesn't mean it's not going to be watched. >> You know what I mean?
00:03:13
>> Yeah. >> Plenty of things that were bad were watched by a lot of people.
00:03:16
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> You know. >> Yeah. That's true. >> Yeah. It happens all the time.
00:03:19
>> Yeah. Okay. So, bad is good, >> right? Bad is good. >> Michael Jackson. Bad. Good.
00:03:25
>> Yeah. >> So bad it was. He I mean bad to name an album. Bad. >> Yeah.
00:03:31
>> Is good. >> Yeah. It's good. >> So, it should be Bobby Lee. Bad.
00:03:33
>> Yeah. Bad. Yeah. >> Everyone's going. The family. >> The family's going. Yeah. I'm sorry I
00:03:38
can't be there. >> It's okay. >> I saw her in Hawaii swimming in the
00:03:42
ocean. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I saw Bro Shaka. Ocean girl. >> Ocean girly.
00:03:49
>> You're swimming for like three days straight. Huh? >> Mhm. >> That's got to be so freeing. How nice
00:03:53
she gets to do that. >> Yeah. >> No responsibility. >> No responsibility.
00:03:56
>> Just swim in the ocean for three days. >> Yeah, man. Hey everybody, I use AB.
00:04:02
>> Yeah, man. Look at how silky my hair is. Oh my >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Shout out to company, EBB.
00:04:08
>> Doing commercial. >> The commercials are great. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. You're acting. I see her acting in
00:04:12
it now. >> Are there any times where she's making you do it and you don't want to do it?
00:04:17
>> Sometimes. >> And she convinces you. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah.
00:04:20
>> How long when you go out to the ocean and you guys go for a dive day or
00:04:23
whatever, how long are you in the in the water for? >> I think max is like four or five.
00:04:28
>> Five hours is a long time. >> A long time being in the water. But they
00:04:31
can just live out there. >> Well, they're from down there. >> Yeah, I know. No, but they love the
00:04:34
water. >> You were born underwater, weren't you? >> Your mom had you underwater.
00:04:39
>> Yeah. >> Can I tell you the greatest moment of my life? >> I better be included.
00:04:44
>> You were not there. >> You're absolutely not there. You're not
00:04:49
there. >> Interesting. >> It's like um one of the most peaceful moments of my life.
00:04:54
>> No, I wasn't there. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, >> when you're around I get throat like you
00:04:59
know what I mean? Lump in your throat. You throat. Yeah. I get sore. >> Yeah. Me, too.
00:05:02
>> Yeah. Yeah, you get the Right. I know. I know. Me, too. My whole body hurts
00:05:06
>> when I said when you were on me. >> Oh, yeah. >> Oh, yeah. Me, too. Yeah.
00:05:11
>> Yeah. >> So, um, we all went to the Philippines and, uh, >> nothing.
00:05:18
>> And you know how they have like millions of the not million, but thousands of
00:05:21
little islands? Yeah. Around. >> You can take a little boat, you know, I mean, to like a super small island,
00:05:26
>> right? Like >> a beautiful day. >> And um, >> what's on those little tiny islands? One
00:05:31
tree sometimes. >> That's it. >> Yeah. Yeah. Like one or two trees.
00:05:35
>> Wow. >> Yeah. So, we went on this island and I was It so blew the water.
00:05:40
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> And I was floating on my back >> in the water, right?
00:05:45
>> Where it's like, you know, I mean, you can you can hear the ocean >> bobbing in and out of your face,
00:05:49
>> but you can also hear the people. So, they were like playing games on the on
00:05:52
the beach. >> That's where you were. So you could hear, you know what I mean, them just
00:05:56
you just hear laughter and joy, but you're also hearing the sea, >> right? And I closed my eyes and it was
00:06:04
the ultimate piece pe piece I've ever felt >> and and joy. >> It was nirvana. You were
00:06:12
>> Yeah. But you know um when I was so funny but when I was at um that treatment center for trauma
00:06:19
>> right we you know we did this thing where it's like if you do this right and
00:06:23
you think about your um that one that was my experience thinking of think of an experience where you're truly
00:06:29
peaceful and I I got hypnotized and if I do this apparently it takes me back but
00:06:34
it never works. >> Yeah. It never works. >> It never does. Yeah. >> I'm there.
00:06:39
>> Yeah. But it's like um Yeah. >> Yeah. I'm there. >> Exactly.
00:06:45
>> What's your most peaceful moment? >> I think I talked about on the show. It
00:06:49
was uh >> Had we done Bad Friends yet? >> I think it was just at the beginning.
00:06:53
>> Okay. >> And then I um No, right before. It was actually right before. It might have
00:06:57
been six years ago. Okay. >> And I hung out with these people and had a great day. Then I met up with Durmer
00:07:01
and got some phenomenal seafood. And then we went to Alkai Beach and rented um uh longboards, you know, paddle
00:07:10
boards. And I went out on the board and I was just laying out there in the ocean. It's a similar oddly similar
00:07:15
story. And I was just laying on it just kind of letting the slow slow wake take me and I was like I could die right now.
00:07:22
>> Alkai Beach. It was one of those moments that I just I don't know why it was
00:07:28
perfect. It was just beautiful and perfect out on the water. There something about it. It was weird. It was
00:07:35
like everything aligned. And then the show that night was [ __ ] awesome. >> Yeah. It was at that club in Seattle.
00:07:41
>> Parlor Live. >> Yeah. Parlor. >> Yeah. I love that club. >> Where you had to go through the bar?
00:07:44
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was the That was the club where that um native guy
00:07:48
didn't let me in. Remember? >> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah. That's the same club.
00:07:51
>> That's right. >> Well, they closed down. >> I know they did.
00:07:54
>> That's because of you. >> No. Yes. You got that native a big deal.
00:07:59
>> Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. >> Yeah. They That's your most peaceful. >> That was just a moment that like you
00:08:03
reminded me of when I I've talked about that before. It just made me feel like
00:08:07
>> Amen. Everything is okay. >> Yeah. >> And it was for a little bit. What's your
00:08:12
most peaceful moment? >> Um, >> but you can't include the water cuz we
00:08:17
already did that. >> It usually does. >> I know. You're right. You can do include
00:08:23
water. >> I think the first time I've um free dived with Atalai and I was able to go
00:08:29
really deep and I just stayed there for like a long time. >> How long can you hold your breath for?
00:08:34
>> Not that long. Maybe just like a minute and like a half or something. >> So you stayed down there for about a
00:08:38
minute. >> You were peaceful for 45 seconds. >> Yeah, >> it was so nice.
00:08:44
>> Oh, >> and did you come back up and you felt like I want to keep going down as far as
00:08:47
I can? >> Mhm. >> And >> the free dive thing scares me. >> Yeah.
00:08:52
>> Two to two. No, no, no. I belong up top. >> Was the swimming of the sharks up when
00:08:56
we used to do that [ __ ] >> That was so fun. >> I know. It's [ __ ]
00:09:00
>> That was so nice. >> You don't need to swim with those guys. >> I'm not doing that anymore. It just
00:09:04
doesn't make sense. >> Yeah. >> I'm going to swim with that really big
00:09:07
great white shark. >> Okay. >> Aren't they all big? >> No. Like the this one is like the
00:09:14
>> like one that that one lady does. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's her name?
00:09:18
>> I first >> I saw that documentary. That lady that swims with the great white sharks.
00:09:21
>> Yeah, that one. >> What is that for? What do you get out of that besides almost killed?
00:09:25
>> Well, a relationship. You can develop a relationship. >> This isn't the octopus teacher.
00:09:30
>> I know. Look at that. Would you do that? Oh, cool. >> Would I do that?
00:09:35
>> I mean, >> in what [ __ ] world would I want? Look at how fat that guy is.
00:09:40
>> Get him on a GLP1. >> Yeah, >> but he hasn't died, so it means she The
00:09:45
shark's fine. >> Yeah, he's eating everything in sight. >> Yeah,
00:09:48
>> he'll live forever. >> She's got a bag of In-N-Out burgers.
00:09:51
>> Is that what >> you can't You can't see it, but Yeah. >> Double trouble.
00:09:55
>> Yeah. >> By the way, he he that is a fat [ __ ] shark, dude. >> Dude, that
00:10:00
>> Oh, he's a little cho. So scary. >> So cool. >> He's so fat he can't turn around,
00:10:04
though. He can't get you if you're behind him. >> Yeah. >> I mean, no. Absolutely not. What's cool
00:10:09
about that? That thing. Don't they They kill humans. >> I don't mind.
00:10:13
>> You don't mind being killed? >> No. >> I mean, they'll tear off an arm.
00:10:18
>> What a bummer. >> That's a bummer. >> That's a bummer. Yeah. Huge bummer to
00:10:22
lose. Yeah, you're right. You're right. If you're going to lose a limb, which
00:10:24
one are you going to lose? >> My left leg. I don't know. >> Left leg is good. Yeah. It's pretty
00:10:28
useless, I guess. I understand that. Ocean Ramsey >> because you can hide prosthetic legs
00:10:34
with the new high-tech, you know what I mean? >> Great tech >> prosthetics, right?
00:10:38
>> Yeah. >> So, you could wear jeans, put a prosthetic on. You can still kind of,
00:10:42
you know what I mean? >> Walk around, right? But with an arm, I think it's harder to hide.
00:10:47
>> It's impossible. >> Yeah. Although the hands now are looking pretty realistic. They're getting
00:10:50
better. >> Yeah. But you can't go like this or, you know what I mean? Or shaka or anything
00:10:53
like that. >> You can't do You can't do shaka. >> No shaka. Or unless you can go you can do sh if
00:10:59
you bend it push it down. >> You push it down >> like it's kingpin with that fake hand.
00:11:04
>> Like let me see. >> Yeah, they're getting really good. >> Whoa.
00:11:07
>> Whoa. Dude, >> that's me. >> Look at how Wow. I can't really It's
00:11:11
getting It's getting good. Yeah. >> The amount of these that are going to
00:11:14
get stuck up someone's ass though. >> Yeah. >> The rubber one. See, that's why you need
00:11:17
metal. So there's no tempted. It's >> so You kind of want You lose a hand just
00:11:21
to get that. >> No, you don't. >> Yeah. Look at how cool that looks.
00:11:24
>> Okay, dude. >> You know what I mean? You can leave. How it's mind controlled
00:11:28
bionic arm. So your brain is now >> your brain does it. >> And now Nike has that one shoe where has
00:11:34
it's attached to your ankle and it helps you >> what? >> Right. >> Yeah.
00:11:38
>> Nike has a shoe that like is >> that you can now get where it's like I
00:11:42
think it helps you walk. >> What? >> It gives you more propulsion. I don't
00:11:46
know what the word is. Um >> Yeah. Propulsion's got to be right. >> Yeah. Yeah. That
00:11:52
>> Wow. So it straps onto your ankles. >> Yeah. your ankle onto the shoe
00:11:57
>> and it makes you go faster. >> Mhm. >> I don't know if it makes you go f It
00:12:00
can. >> It can, I think. Yeah. >> Oh, let's get those. How much are those?
00:12:06
>> You're going to get it, right? >> I might. >> I know. >> How much are those? [ __ ]
00:12:10
>> It looks awesome. >> I know. >> I mean, that's incred or even planning
00:12:15
on coming out yet? >> Okay. Hey, Nike. >> Yeah. >> Send these to us.
00:12:19
>> Yeah, those are cool. >> Let us be the first. Let us be the test rabbits for the Imagine they have like
00:12:24
world champion runners doing them and then they send them to us. >> Yeah, these are supposed to calm your
00:12:29
mind down. They come out this week. When you step on it, it hits those balls and
00:12:33
it sends uh something to your brain and it relaxes you. >> They're called the Nike Mind Twos.
00:12:39
>> I want those two. >> I want those two, dude. They're doing it.
00:12:41
>> How do they keep doing it? >> I don't know. They got to be stealing
00:12:43
from Japanese people. >> There's no Yeah. No, that's definitely [ __ ]
00:12:47
>> stolen from Japanese. >> Chiropra Noi. What's it called? Um with
00:12:51
it with the needles >> acupuncture >> acupuncture like all the nerves and
00:12:54
>> stealing from the Japanese. >> They're just stealing from it.
00:12:57
>> Yeah. Um dude that >> Wow. >> I really want >> But do you think it's psychological?
00:13:02
>> Of course. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> It's placebo, but it also but also
00:13:05
they've shown that like as the shoe has advanced, it does do really good things
00:13:09
for your like when you're running long distances like a really good running shoe does things well for your brain
00:13:15
>> because there's so much in your feet. >> Yeah. >> There's so much in your feet. It's got,
00:13:19
have you ever seen like the reflexology stuff about like when they find these trigger points in your feet and all it
00:13:24
like one one thing is release of stress at certain places and something it's all
00:13:27
connected. >> Like this works when you do this for headaches and stuff. Why does that work?
00:13:31
>> I don't know why that works. >> I don't want to know. That freaks me
00:13:33
out. Like we found out where the motherboard is. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But maybe those
00:13:38
shoes we got to get those. Get get those for us. >> Please get those for us. Yeah.
00:13:41
>> What What else is other high-tech shoes that are coming out? >> We got to get more shoes. I used to have
00:13:45
Nikes that were Bluetooth Nikes. >> They speakers. >> No, they uh they just tied like from an
00:13:53
app. Like I would put them on and they would get tight when I would press tie my shoe.
00:13:56
>> Oh, that's cool. >> That's kind of cool. >> That's like auto laces from Back to the
00:13:59
Future. >> Ex. Yeah, I had that. >> You had those shoes? >> No, I had like the modern version years
00:14:04
ago. >> Or what the tennis shoe that turns into skates? >> Sick. >> No, but there's like
00:14:08
>> ice skates or roller skates. >> Roller skates. But they're getting
00:14:11
better now, I think. >> Yeah, those the mags. The Nike Mags. Those are the ones from Back to the
00:14:15
Future. >> What do those do? >> Self-lacing. Remember from Back to the
00:14:18
Future? >> Wow. >> You know what I really wanted? Those were sick. But I also wanted the drying
00:14:23
jacket. >> Drying mode. I just thought that was so cool. And it came out. It's like you
00:14:28
come out of the rain like >> it dried. >> And how far away from hoverboard?
00:14:33
>> What the [ __ ] are they waiting for? >> Okay. What are WE LET'S GET THAT GOING.
00:14:36
>> YEAH. WELL, how are we? >> Yeah. Why are we not doing hoverboard?
00:14:39
>> They invented that 30 years ago in film. We can't get it done. No, that's not the
00:14:42
thing. That's not the hoverboard, dude. >> I clicked on shopping. >> They're They got to be close to getting
00:14:48
this. >> Well, if you make the ground like magnet, you know, >> then you can do it.
00:14:51
>> Then you can do it. >> But think about how do you slow down or stop?
00:14:54
>> Oh, right. >> You're [ __ ] >> You're [ __ ] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:14:58
>> You know, like they're creating the train that goes from LA to Vegas. It
00:15:02
doesn't it use magnets? Isn't it magnet propulsion? >> Let me ask you something. Okay. Would
00:15:05
you rather, you know, I mean, us um focus our energy on either high-tech stuff just for like everyday household
00:15:14
goods or only high-tech stuff for your health? >> Oh, that's such a good question.
00:15:20
>> You know what I mean? >> Cuz I think the health is probably more beneficial, but my god, would it be
00:15:24
better around the house stuff? >> Yeah. Yeah. Like I mean, talking about hoverboards, you know what I mean? All
00:15:28
that kind of stuff, you know what I mean? But it's like, >> yeah, [ __ ] health. Let's do that.
00:15:32
>> We're all going to die. I know, but health you you could extend your life
00:15:35
for 20 more years. >> Why? >> Exactly. >> Cuz if you're 100, you're going to feel
00:15:39
like [ __ ] >> Yeah. >> There's no way. Cuz they can't make your
00:15:42
bones get younger. >> Yeah. >> But what if they can? >> No, they can't.
00:15:46
>> Can you like improve your body and just get you abs? And like >> I think one day they're going to give us
00:15:50
an ability to take your [ __ ] brain and get a new body. >> Well, they're doing already doing head
00:15:56
transplants. >> Richie's interested. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> This guy loves heads.
00:16:02
>> Yeah. You They're experimenting with it, but it's like would you Okay, if you
00:16:06
>> no successful lasting head transplant with animal experiment showing limited
00:16:09
survival days to weeks and partial function, but I'm telling you, dude, they're going to get there.
00:16:13
>> They're going to get there. >> Whose body do you want? >> Okay, so what? No. No. Okay, here's a
00:16:17
good question. Very. Now, listen. I'm thinking I'm more if they preserved it.
00:16:22
I'm more Gary Coleman. >> I've always wanted to be a little black guy.
00:16:29
>> What do you think? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. That is such a good lineup.
00:16:33
>> Your Asian head on a little black body. >> The black body would be so I'd be on a
00:16:36
sitcom right away. >> Right away. >> Yeah, I mean >> the work you
00:16:39
>> Hey everybody, >> Mr. Cooper, stop. >> Yeah, I mean that'd be cool. What? What?
00:16:48
What body would you want? >> Wait a minute. World's first volunteer of head transplant fails to accept the
00:16:51
surgery for a lack of funds from Russia. So this guy was down to do it. >> Oh. So he could get a a able body as
00:16:59
well. >> What? >> What? because he's >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. He He wants a new body
00:17:04
because he's he's >> fully paraplegic. >> Parapillegic. Yeah. Yeah.
00:17:06
>> Right. So, he wants a mobile body. But even if you did give it to him, he
00:17:10
wouldn't know what to do with it. >> What do you mean? >> He's never had one. What does he I mean,
00:17:18
>> well, you could go dancing with Richie. Him and Richard are both doing the same
00:17:25
thing. >> Blood vessels are being linked with tubes. So they So they're trying to do
00:17:32
it. >> Yeah. >> But this is old. They've they've been tried. This was over a decade ago. They
00:17:36
tried with this Russian. >> But no, but now I think they're it's it's about to happen. I think
00:17:41
>> we're going to do it. >> Yeah. Yeah. Try. >> Are we really going to do it? I mean, by
00:17:45
the way, Russia, shout out. They would try it first. Yeah, we will try. [ __ ] us.
00:17:49
>> They don't give a [ __ ] >> They don't give a [ __ ] Yeah. Yeah,
00:17:51
>> how it's supposed to work theoretically cooling both donor and recipient heads
00:17:54
and bodies are cooled to slow cell death connection key blood vessels uh the jugulars and the karate are connected to
00:18:00
first maintain blood flow to the brain potentially using a special plasma spinal cord fusion because we do those
00:18:05
don't we do fusion spinal cord fusion now for people that get in like tra tragic car accidents and stuff
00:18:10
>> other connections and nerves and trachea esophagus are reconnected >> but so but you're kept in a coma for
00:18:16
weeks to allow the healing for the body and then they hope you can come out of it
00:18:19
>> but where do you get the body though does Somebody volunteered like you can
00:18:21
have my body. I'm going to die. >> I'm sure it's someone that just died.
00:18:24
>> But from died from what though? That would depend. You know what I mean? Like
00:18:27
I don't want his body. >> Okay. If you go if you get into a car accident, right?
00:18:32
That's how they use all your organ parts. If you're still young and good.
00:18:35
>> Yeah. But the body's damaged if you're in a car accident. If you died from
00:18:37
impact from a car accident, the body's no good. That's my point. Where do you
00:18:40
get the body? >> Gunshot to the head. >> Okay. That's the only scenario.
00:18:43
>> Gunshot to the head. Keep the body on ice. Would you donate your head to
00:18:46
science jewels? >> Yeah. >> Would you donate all your organs? All of
00:18:49
them? Yeah. >> Everything. >> I don't mind. >> You don't care.
00:18:53
>> No. >> Yeah. Good. Good for you. >> Last thing about the head transplant,
00:18:56
though. Doesn't your brain old? Like if you get a 22-year-old guy's body,
00:19:01
>> right? >> But your brain's still old. >> But imagine using that body with the
00:19:05
knowledge that you have. >> Would that extend your life? You think? >> Sure. Of a little bit. Because isn't
00:19:11
isn't part of your isn't part of your physical existence your mental health
00:19:15
and happiness? So, you would be happier because you're like, "Wow, I've got this
00:19:19
young body. I I feel less pain." >> Wow. >> First human head transplant two years
00:19:23
away, says a surgeon. >> See, >> that's that was a decade ago. >> Oh, [ __ ]
00:19:27
>> No update. >> Well, on this note, you know what day it is today? >> Happy birthday.
00:19:35
Is it? >> It's Martin Luther King Day. >> Is it today? >> It's today.
00:19:39
>> Oh my god. >> Did you have a dream? Have you ever had a dream? >> I have a dreaming.
00:19:45
>> Yeah. I used to have a bit like that. >> A Martin Luther King. Asian Martin
00:19:48
Luther King. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> What is it? >> I have a dreaming the white people do
00:19:54
their own laundry. >> Like that kind of bit. >> That's a great bit.
00:19:59
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Look at him playing pool. >> MLK running the [ __ ] table.
00:20:05
>> Dude, I have a dream. Eightball side pocket. That album was really good.
00:20:11
Airpod in his ear. >> Yeah. Oh, >> your laugh, Richie. I love it. I want to
00:20:18
bottle that up. >> Put in a genie bottle. >> Yeah. >> 300 years. 300 years. Somebody finds it.
00:20:24
Oh, like >> I imagine he collects laughs. >> Yeah, >> you do. You have a can of laughs at home
00:20:31
>> in little jars right next to the heads. >> Gross. >> I just I get scared for these women that
00:20:36
go over there and see all these heads. >> Yeah. >> Cool. >> Yeah.
00:20:39
>> When was the last time we had a girl over? >> Like not that long ago. Two weeks ago.
00:20:42
Okay. >> Actually, not two weeks ago, cuz that was Christmas. >> How many times do you wash your sheets?
00:20:47
>> Um, >> be honest. >> He's like, "Sheets. We have to have
00:20:50
sheets." >> Yeah. >> I try my best. Anytime somebody comes over, it's an instant wash. But like me
00:20:55
personally, just me, like week or two. >> That's good. >> A week or two?
00:21:02
>> Week or two. >> And then what? >> Usually two if it's just me.
00:21:06
>> What about you? When do you change sheets? >> Change my sheets if there's a lot of bon
00:21:11
going on. Yeah. >> Like if we're getting them sloppy >> every like 5 days.
00:21:15
>> Okay. >> But if there's not a week and a day or so, it's almost like eight or nine days.
00:21:21
>> Yeah. >> But if if we're hooking up a lot, if it's a fun month,
00:21:23
>> Yeah. >> then you got to flip them like every cuz then they just get nasty.
00:21:27
>> Yeah. >> You know what I mean? >> Yeah. >> But like Yeah. I'd say 5 days. 5 to
00:21:30
eight depending on the level of bone bone juice. >> What about you? >> Every day. Bobby,
00:21:37
>> you change them every day. >> Well, I did until her mom left. You didn't do You had someone else
00:21:42
change them every day. >> Her mom. >> Your mom would change her sheets every
00:21:44
day. >> Every night. >> Yeah. >> She would wash them every day.
00:21:48
>> I have like so many sheets. >> Yeah. >> But she would just cycle through and
00:21:52
wash them all the time. >> Mhm. >> Wow. >> I'm a king. >> Feed me grapes.
00:22:00
>> You're allergic to grapes. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Not every day, but she would do it once
00:22:04
every four days. I think >> that's pretty standard. That's I mean for for a guy like you who lives in the
00:22:09
lifestyle that you live. Yeah. I cannot sleep. I've tried without taking a shower.
00:22:15
>> Oh, at night. >> Yeah. >> Interesting. >> Tim Dylan was like, "Yeah, man. Just
00:22:19
sleep without taking a shower. I do it all the time." >> No, it's nice to get into bed clean.
00:22:23
>> Yeah. So, I tried it and at 4 in the morning, I was like, "I got to take a
00:22:26
shower." >> Right. Is that I mean, how do people sleep without taking a shower?
00:22:30
>> I'll tell you what I've been doing, though. >> Yeah. >> So, I've been had to shower again at
00:22:33
night. Even if I just showered, I've been going in the hot tub cuz hot tub in
00:22:36
the rain. >> My god, hot tub in the rain, >> it's the best. It's the best in thing in
00:22:41
the world. >> Wow. >> Hot tub in the rain to me >> is is just something about it. You're
00:22:46
like I feel I feel like Andy D frame when he swam through the the pipes of poop.
00:22:50
>> Yeah. >> You come out clean on the other >> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I hot
00:22:55
tub in the rain. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> It just it's it's it's life-changing.
00:22:58
>> They would have found me in that [ __ ] tube >> like 20 years later. I would have never
00:23:03
made it out of there. >> He made it like 15 ft. >> Yeah. They would just see my you a
00:23:07
Korean skeleton in there. How long would you last in that poo? There's no way.
00:23:11
>> I could never do it. >> I could never do it. >> Well, no. If your life is on the line,
00:23:14
if you need if you knew that was freedom and it was how many football football fields?
00:23:17
>> Four. >> Four football fields. >> Yeah. Yeah. Four football fields are
00:23:20
crawling through poo. >> Gosh. >> Would you be able to do it? >> I think you at some point would just
00:23:25
check out mentally and just be like it would just be >> it'd be muscle reflex just like go go
00:23:30
go. You would just get used to it and you'd run out of throw up at some point.
00:23:35
>> Oh my god. You had nothing left. You would get some in your mouth. >> Just kidding.
00:23:41
>> Splash. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? >> I know. >> Yeah, >> you would do it for freedom.
00:23:46
>> Yeah, >> for freedom. >> And then what happens if you got out and
00:23:49
there was no rain? He was lucky. HE FOUND A RAINY DAY. THERE'S NO RAIN. YOU'RE JUST LIKE [ __ ] There's no Ah.
00:23:57
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Look at that guy covered in [ __ ] running
00:23:59
THROUGH THE STREETS. POO MAN. >> That's Andy Defrain. >> Yeah. Yeah.
00:24:04
>> Andy, why are you covered in poo? Yeah, >> he's lucky there was rain.
00:24:08
>> He was That was a lucky day for him. >> Stephen King. >> Yeah.
00:24:11
>> And you know what's so funny? That's a great pairing because he wrote it cuz
00:24:14
the the the thunder strikes are when he decided to hit the rock on the pipe. He waited till it rained.
00:24:20
>> That was a part of it. >> Oh, that's right. The thunder had to
00:24:22
rain at night because >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wait. So, he did plan it. You're right.
00:24:25
>> Yeah. But still, you're you're right, though. >> Yeah. >> Cuz what if it just thunder and rain was
00:24:29
dissipating? >> Yeah, it could have dissipated. >> Like, he thought it was pouring down
00:24:32
rain. He goes out there, it's just spitting a little bit. >> Yeah. How long would it take to get the
00:24:35
poop off? >> Yeah. There's no way. >> By the way, he washed himself in the
00:24:38
water that was poop water. >> Yeah. >> So, he didn't really get clean.
00:24:42
>> Yeah. >> It was still poop water. >> Oh, so it's the 1950s, right?
00:24:46
>> Yeah. >> He would never be able to do it in today. >> No. >> Yeah. Yeah.
00:24:50
>> No, they don't have >> As soon as he got up, there's a cameras
00:24:52
everywhere. Yeah. Tik Tockers taking >> videos of him. Yeah. Yeah. He'd be
00:24:57
>> Twitch streamers being like, "Come out here with the Poo Man."
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>> Factor. You want to eat better, but you have zero time and zero energy to make
00:27:35
it happen. Factor doesn't ask you to meal prep or follow recipes. It just removes the entire problem. Two minutes,
00:27:42
real food done. >> That's exactly right, man. Lean proteins, uh, colorful vegetables, whole
00:27:47
food ingredients, healthy fats, the stuff you'd make if you had the time, but you don't have the time. Bob and I
00:27:52
are busy all the time. It's so nice to get delicious, healthy, wonderful meals
00:27:57
that you can just cook quick and eat wherever you are, whenever you're doing
00:28:01
it. Factor is already made by chefs, designed by dieticians, and delivered to your door. You heat it up for 2 minutes
00:28:08
and just eat. That's how simple it is. >> It's very simple. It's always fresh.
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It's never frozen. It's ready in 2 minutes. No prep, no clean up, no mental
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load. And uh that's, you know, there's a little bit of motivation. You can eat a
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little bit better uh without sacrificing anything because they're healthy and
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delicious. They're wonderful with 100 rotating meals every single week. So head over to factorals.com/badfriends50
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purchase. Make healthier eating easy with factor. I saw your buddy Colin Jo this morning.
00:28:47
>> You played golf with him. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. You play golf. >> We talked about you.
00:28:50
>> Really? >> Yeah. >> What' you say? >> That we both really love you.
00:28:54
>> A >> And then I asked him uh who who you want? Headphones? >> I don't know. I'm wondering. I just
00:29:00
>> give him headphones. >> Yeah. Give him headphones. >> No. No. I don't need it. I don't need
00:29:02
it. >> Bobby said you don't listen. >> Whoa. Yeah, it is what he said.
00:29:08
says, "You do not listen." >> I don't I don't think you listen. I was
00:29:11
>> I think you drift. >> I was so hungry that you But you see yourself in me.
00:29:15
>> I do. >> So, it's fine >> because I don't listen. >> There's nothing in this.
00:29:17
>> Yeah, I never listen. >> No, you don't. >> There's nothing in this.
00:29:20
>> Yeah. >> He's got nothing in the Yeah. >> Rudy. RUDY. >> No socks, huh?
00:29:31
>> Hey, no socks today. Sockless, >> huh? You like them? So cute. >> Thank you, girl.
00:29:38
>> Those are They're very Middle Eastern of you. >> Oh, wow. Thank you.
00:29:41
>> I like that. >> A little bit Hispanic, if you will. >> Are those Hispanic shoes?
00:29:45
>> Yes, maybe. Anybody. >> Did your puppy have those? >> Everything I wear is Hispanic.
00:29:49
>> Do you know you probably don't sleep well? Do you sleep well? >> I either sleep a lot or No.
00:29:55
>> It's one or the other. >> It just depends. >> What What was it last night?
00:29:58
>> Last night it was uh I did good last night, but the the night before that I I
00:30:02
woke up scared, man. You ever wake up scared? >> Why are you scared? >> I woke up scared cuz I drank.
00:30:08
>> I drank and then I woke up scared. You know what I mean? My left leg, my left
00:30:11
leg starts to go numb. But it's in my head. It's not It's all in your head.
00:30:15
>> Where do you stay when you come to LA? >> Um I stay at the No, don't.
00:30:19
>> I stay right I stay by the store. Close to the store. I want to go by there.
00:30:22
Want to do stand up. >> FANCY, HUH? >> RUDY. >> RUDY. >> RUDY. RUDY, say hi to our guest.
00:30:29
>> Yeah, I do. >> Hi. >> Hi. >> Yeah. You know, she's got a massive
00:30:33
crush on you. It's unbelievable. >> She can't stop talking about it.
00:30:38
>> It's been a continuous thing on this show. >> Oh, come on. >> When will you have Marcelan? Because I
00:30:43
want to say to him, right? >> Yeah. That's what she said. >> You know what? You're [ __ ] Yoko.
00:30:47
>> Yes. >> You're Yoko. >> You're Yeah. If you were in a band, she would
00:30:51
break it up. You can't sing. Maybe she's Yoko. >> She would break it right up. She If you
00:30:55
started dating her, she'd kick get you kicked off SNL so fast. Really? Oh, yeah.
00:30:58
>> Your toxic Rudy. >> No. Are you tonedeaf? >> Me? >> Yeah.
00:31:02
>> Why? >> Can you sing? >> Can I sing? No. No. I can do deep voice.
00:31:06
>> Yeah. But can you >> You seem like you're tonedeaf. >> That's
00:31:11
>> very good. >> Only fools rush. >> It sounds like a foreign guy trying to
00:31:17
do that song in English. >> Yeah. >> Wise man will say >> only will a fool will he be the Russian
00:31:26
>> because I language. You can dance, too, huh? That I do. Daddy can do that. I can do.
00:31:34
>> Well, we've seen that. You've showcased your ability to dance. >> Yeah.
00:31:38
>> What's the thing that we haven't seen you do on TV that you're like waiting?
00:31:41
That's something in your back pocket. >> I got to do a soccer thing. I'm good.
00:31:43
I'm really good. You have anything that's a circle here? >> I can. These guys will kick anything.
00:31:48
>> I can juggle that baseball. I can do some stuff with it. >> Can you really?
00:31:51
>> Probably >> stand up and do it. >> Yeah. Yeah. Okay. >> Oh, I thought that was going to work.
00:31:57
Let's go. >> Yeah. Your foot feet. YOU'RE NOT WEARING SOCKS. WHOA, DUDE.
00:32:07
>> OH, BRO, YOU ARE GOOD, >> DUDE. >> WOW, >> that is incredible.
00:32:12
>> That's incredible, dude. >> OH, YEAH. OH, SHOELESS. >> OH, SHOELESS.
00:32:15
>> SHOLESS. >> OKAY, sit down. Sit down. >> Here he goes. Here he goes up.
00:32:21
>> HEY, come on. >> Yeah. >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT, SN?
00:32:27
>> HOW ABOUT THAT? HUH? Come on. >> Can your fancy bee do that? >> We want you to replace our fancy bee so
00:32:33
bad, dude. >> God, man. >> You would be the one. >> That guy. Fancy B. You guys really What
00:32:38
does the B stand for? >> You tell us. >> Come on. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:32:42
>> What do you guys love to eat? >> Yes. >> You love it? >> What is your favorite?
00:32:48
>> Wait, what? Look at me, dude. You like it? >> What? >> Beans.
00:32:51
>> Yes. >> Yeah. >> I like it, too. Ice and beans. >> I'm a fancy bee.
00:32:55
>> What's your favorite meal that your mom made you? Um, my mom never cooked a lot.
00:32:58
My mom was always traveling for work. >> What about your grandma? >> How does that make you feel? Um, my
00:33:02
grandma, she didn't cook either. My mom was, my grandmother was a cashier at a
00:33:05
CVS. >> Seriously? >> Yeah. >> Wow. >> We didn't have a lot of like
00:33:08
>> So, no, no homecooked meals for you as a kid. >> Not really. My mom can make a great uh a
00:33:12
seoya. >> Oh, right. >> That's good, dude. >> You You really live in this dangerous
00:33:21
line, huh? >> I don't have a choice. >> You'll do anything. >> Well, I'm not on SNL, dude. I can do
00:33:25
whatever I want. All right. I'm free living. The thing that got Shane canceled I do every week on this show.
00:33:30
>> Every single week. Think about that, >> too. It's incredible.
00:33:33
>> That's the freedom of this platform. We're allowed to do it. But you got to
00:33:36
stay a little good little boy. You got to be a good little boy. Cuz you're going to be a movie star, aren't you?
00:33:40
>> I have a job to do. >> Are you going to be a movie star? >> I hope so.
00:33:42
>> You're going to be a movie star. >> He's got a movie. Netflix.
00:33:44
>> Yeah. >> You and who? >> Kevin Hart. Co-star. >> Kevin Hart.
00:33:47
>> Yes. That one. >> He's done movies with Kevin Hart. >> So have you.
00:33:50
>> I have. Yeah. >> Yes, I have. >> I just saw you in a movie.
00:33:53
>> No, you didn't. >> Yes, I did. Last night. What movie was it?
00:33:56
>> Now You See Me, Now You Don't. >> Oh my god. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And how was I?
00:34:00
>> And >> it was funny, dude. You were fun. >> It's a f It was a fun little part.
00:34:05
>> You got a lot of facial hair in that one. >> Yeah, I grew it out. No, you
00:34:09
>> No. Yeah, I did. Yeah, I did The bush. I did the front bush. We shot that in
00:34:11
Budapest. >> Where What's this movie you got coming out? >> Um the uh with Kevin Hart, it's called
00:34:17
72 Hours. It's like a bachelor party thing. >> Oh, >> yeah. >> 72 Hours is like a I thought it was
00:34:22
going to be like an extension of the Nick Noly 48 hours. I thought that was going to be another What is this? Kevin
00:34:27
Hart, Wild 72 Hours, a new comedy. Who wrote it? >> Uh, >> not you. >> No,
00:34:32
>> no, >> no. >> Who's that handsome guy? >> Look at that.
00:34:35
>> Who is that guy? >> That's uh Mason Gooding. >> I'm talking about you, sweetheart.
00:34:39
>> Oh, that's >> care about that other guy on the left. What are you talking? Look at how good
00:34:42
looking he looks right there, Bob. >> Dude, >> zoom in on Marcelo. >> Marcelo.
00:34:46
>> Wow. >> Wow. >> Kid's built. He's built for the picture.
00:34:50
>> Come on. >> It's like Pepsi Cola now. >> What's up? He's like Pepsi Cola. Like
00:34:54
>> you think his name is Pepsi? >> No. No. What I'm saying is is that
00:34:57
you're like out there. >> Yeah. >> You know what I mean? How's it feel?
00:35:00
>> It's crazy. It feels weird. This is like I've only done like four podcasts in my
00:35:04
whole life. >> Yeah. >> And today I did the third one of my life and today I did the fourth one. I did
00:35:09
like one or two like before when I first started doing videos online. Yeah. >> Which was like 2020.
00:35:15
>> Yeah. >> So this is like the first podcast. >> This is the only one that matters. This
00:35:18
is the first one. >> This is the real one. >> This is the one. >> Look at you on variety with your shirt
00:35:21
off. >> I They made me do that. I was You didn't want to take your shirt off.
00:35:23
>> I didn't want to do the chains. I didn't want to do the shirt, but you know, you
00:35:26
don't know what to say. You just don't know what to say. >> So, so they someone came by and was
00:35:30
like, "Marcel, we'd like it if you had your shirt off and we want to put put
00:35:33
these costume chains on you." >> Yeah. And they go, "We have this idea."
00:35:35
And then, and then I go, they go, "Smile." And then something felt weird
00:35:38
to me about smiling with my shirt off. Yeah. >> So, I was like, I can't do that.
00:35:42
>> Can you do that face? I want to try to do that face. >> Look it. >> Look it.
00:35:48
>> I like that's interesting that they go take your shirt off, put on these
00:35:50
chains. And that was the idea. Somebody did not do their work before. >> Thank you.
00:35:54
>> They showed up that day and they were like, "We have nothing to do."
00:35:56
>> And you don't get to approve pictures. So, you just find out. >> Your team never said yes or no to this.
00:36:01
>> No, you just find out. >> You got to get a new agent. They should
00:36:03
send you this before they approve it on this. >> This was years ago. >> I don't think people can get I
00:36:07
>> It's hard to get approval. >> No, it's Dude, when they >> I mean, Julia Roberts probably can.
00:36:11
>> Exactly. You get to a point where you can't >> he's the male Julia Roberts.
00:36:14
>> I know. I understand that. But >> he's gonna get there, but I don't know
00:36:17
if he's there now. Yes, he is. >> Yeah. Okay. Get approval then. But this
00:36:19
was years ago. >> This is America's new sweetheart. >> Hi. >> Yeah,
00:36:23
>> you are the representation of America's best >> ideas. >> Dude, you guys, you guys. Um, that was
00:36:30
the worst one. That one right there in the white. >> Let me see >> that one. That's the worst picture I
00:36:33
think I've ever taken. My god. >> What am I doing with my neck? >> What?
00:36:37
>> You know what I mean? >> Yeah. What are you doing? >> I don't know. You don't get aord. I
00:36:40
could have been stretching. I I could have been stretching there. >> Yeah.
00:36:43
>> Selling weapons overseas. >> It's like what? >> God. >> You just
00:36:47
>> Yeah. But you know what? You still look good. The kid still looks good. Are you
00:36:51
happy on a little break right now? Right. >> Yeah, little break. But this has been
00:36:54
I've been busy, dude. I've been doing a bunch of podcasts. I've been uh I'm
00:36:56
doing a a screening for my >> screening for your special tomorrow. Special comes out
00:37:01
>> uh January 7th. >> One day after our favorite holiday. >> Yeah.
00:37:05
>> One day. >> What's your favorite? Oh >> yeah. >> Come on. Day, dude. Come on, dude.
00:37:10
>> We were there, dude. >> We were there twice. We got to go back. >> And a brick.
00:37:14
>> Just you with a photo of you with your shirt off a change. >> Yeah. If if AI was around back then, how
00:37:19
many comedians would have promoted their their their week of shows? >> Oh my god, dude. With an AI
00:37:23
>> So many flyers. So many flyers. >> Oh, that would have been great.
00:37:26
>> Let me ask you something, and you you don't have to answer this, >> okay?
00:37:29
>> Does Lauren know about this show? >> Like, will Lauren see you on this show?
00:37:34
>> Maybe. >> Uh-oh. >> If something bad happens, >> Rudy.
00:37:38
>> Rudy, >> stop hitting on me. >> RUDY, >> DO you get intimidated by him?
00:37:43
>> Um, sure. I but he's he I've gone to baseball games with him. He's a cool
00:37:48
guy. >> He's also just like such like a he's like we all have like a a grandparent or
00:37:53
somebody that's like, you know, the elder of the >> You call him a grandparent.
00:37:57
>> The elder of the family. Yeah. >> Um and uh >> it's different when the elder of the
00:38:01
family is like working at like a crazy high level. You know what I mean? >> Like it's different when they're
00:38:05
retired. It's a different energy. He's he's on >> he's on.
00:38:08
>> Oh, right. Right. Right. Yeah. >> He's doing the thing. >> Yes. He's still very much doing the
00:38:11
thing. >> He's still your dad. He's still your papa. But if he's like, "Come here.
00:38:14
Let's go over here." You have to go with them, right? >> Yeah. Yeah. I go to baseball games.
00:38:17
>> Well, you go to baseball. You like You guys You guys love baseball. >> My people. Yes.
00:38:21
>> Yeah. >> We love baseball. >> See? >> And it's been very, very good to you.
00:38:24
>> How you see your face? >> How you see >> how you see your face?
00:38:27
>> How you see your face? >> What are you doing? Move it. >> Shut up. He's flirting with you.
00:38:31
>> Have you seen your face? >> I have seen your face. >> How good does Bobby look these days?
00:38:35
>> Honestly, the the Well, take a good look at the skateboard behind him. Look at
00:38:38
how fat he was in that photo. Look what he looks like now. I mean, that's a that
00:38:40
is a dead like that's a great comparison. That is a before and after right in front of your face.
00:38:45
>> 100%. And yeah, that's dude. >> When you're like that, you don't No one
00:38:48
tells you. >> I told you all the time. >> I know, but I thought you were joking.
00:38:51
>> I wasn't. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But other people out in the wild, they're like, "No, you look
00:38:54
good." No, I didn't. >> I DIDN'T LOOK GOOD. You know what I mean?
00:38:58
>> But this was good. This has always been good. >> BUT [ __ ] THIS.
00:39:00
>> All right. Yeah. >> I want to look good. >> Yeah. You want to look good.
00:39:02
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is nothing. >> I prefer you fatter TO THE BODY.
00:39:07
>> WHY? IT just feels like you look huggable. >> OH, >> right now you got to look sexy. It's
00:39:14
time. Sexy now. >> I don't know if I look sexy. >> Yeah, you do.
00:39:17
>> It's a stretch. >> But let me say something. I am excited for his transition. He's going to get
00:39:22
>> I want to get real. >> He's going to get you know it. It's the
00:39:25
stage. It's the next thing. They're going to go, "Look, Marcelo, you're
00:39:28
great on SNL. We love seeing you on the show, but we want the We want the movies. We want the girls. We want the
00:39:33
money." And they got to get him jacked >> cuz he's in good shape. Lift up your
00:39:37
shirt. >> Huh? >> Lift up your shirt. >> No. Come on. >> Come on. Come on. Give him some money,
00:39:41
guys. >> No. No. No. >> You want to see? It's nothing crazy. >> Let's see.
00:39:45
>> Yeah. See, he's in great shape. >> Skin and bones. What do you What size
00:39:48
waist? 28. >> 30. >> 30. Yeah, right. Liar. >> 30 with a belt.
00:39:52
>> No. 30. I got big legs. I played soccer forever. >> See? Sexier. You know what? You drop
00:39:56
sexy little things as a Yeah, I got big thighs. >> You know what stage I'm waiting for?
00:40:00
>> What's up? >> Stage five. >> What's that? >> You know what stage five is?
00:40:03
>> Answer. >> Hey, Marcelo. It's Bobby. >> Oh, yeah. gone.
00:40:08
>> I'll never >> I'll never You guys have >> When's that stage happen?
00:40:11
>> Dude, you guys have such a special place in my heart. You don't even realize it.
00:40:14
I was in the pandemic. I had a panic attack in my house. I was spraying my family. I was spraying my family. I was
00:40:19
my I swear my mom my I sprayed my whole family. My mom would get home from the supermarket. I go naked now, take the
00:40:26
clothes off. I take the clothes off. I throw it in the washing machine. They hated me. My sister would paranoid.
00:40:31
Dude, it was really bad. >> It was really bad. Don't play a fool with me, [ __ ] It was really bad. And I
00:40:37
was spraying spraying spraying. I was mad at them. They were like, "We want to
00:40:40
go to lunch at a restaurant." And I go, "You got to kill us all." I would I was
00:40:44
doing I was insane. I was spraying my sister's hands. I was being like a real
00:40:48
psychopath. Was he a little bit like that? >> No. But Kyla was like that. >> Kala? Yeah. Yeah.
00:40:53
>> We We get food orders right outside. We'd have to spray it down for 30
00:40:56
minutes, let it sit out there, let the air do its thing, and then bring it The reason that she really got on the show
00:41:02
was because Kala didn't trust him to not go do something when we were done filming. So she was kind of like a
00:41:07
liaison. A child by the way. >> She was in high school. >> She was in high school when she started
00:41:10
the show. >> She was babysitting Bobby. >> 100%. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I remember. Dude, I
00:41:14
I'm telling you, I used to watch it every night. I used to listen to it to go to bed. I needed people to be
00:41:18
pretending like things were fine. Yeah, we did. And you guys did that. >> But we were so dumb. We don't know any
00:41:23
better. We didn't know it wasn't fine. >> You guys sitting relatively close to
00:41:26
each other and talking and being funny. It saved my I I I truly believe it saved
00:41:30
my life. >> Wow. >> No, that's that's very sweet. >> From For from me like really losing it.
00:41:34
And I did end up I had to move out of my mom's house. I had to move to my dad's
00:41:36
cuz it was like so contentious. >> And what about your dad then? Your dad didn't care at all.
00:41:40
>> My dad is just like two guys living in a house when it's like your mother and
00:41:43
your sister, the people that you're supposed to protect. You're like, don't
00:41:45
don't move a muscle. And you know what I mean? And then but with my dad, I was
00:41:49
like, it's okay. We're guys, it's fine. We'll be fine. >> Yeah. You didn't you didn't care if you
00:41:52
guys got CO together. >> Yeah. I thought it was like it's just two guys. Like we'll figure it out. But
00:41:56
it's like your sister and your mom. It's different. >> Protect. Protect. That's what that's
00:41:59
what you do with her. And then >> Did you get a co? >> Um I eventually did get it. Yeah.
00:42:03
>> Yeah. Yeah. Do you like it? >> I was I got >> No, I got it bad, dude. I couldn't
00:42:07
breathe and stuff. >> Yeah, it was bad. >> It was bad. >> Yeah. Yeah.
00:42:09
>> You did get it back. >> I was laying on my side trying to >> You don't have You got Do you have any
00:42:13
health issues from when you were a kid? >> Um no, but I don't like I think I have
00:42:17
to like I stopped smoking. I used to smoke. I stopped smoking cuz I think I my lungs I don't think are good.
00:42:21
>> Give him a cigarette. >> Come on. Start again. >> Let's do it. We're here, right?
00:42:24
>> The stress. The stress. The stress. You got to start. He started smoking again
00:42:27
and I try to get him to quit multiple times. He just won't do it. How did you
00:42:30
do it? >> You're a sneaky healthy guy. >> I'm healthy, but I But I like to
00:42:34
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Whiskey. Whiskey. Whiskey. I like whiskey. Yeah. >> I love whiskey.
00:42:37
>> You want some? There's some in the other room. Be a little bad boy after the
00:42:39
show. >> Be a little bad boy after. >> Yeah. Um I want him to quit smoking.
00:42:42
Tell him how to quit. >> How do you quit? I I I went cold turkey. I don't know if you've you But he's
00:42:46
tried everything. That's the problem with a guy like this is that he's Whatever a guy like this.
00:42:50
>> What do you mean a guy like this? >> It's a problem with a guy like you. I
00:42:53
when I was you tried everything you tried everything you started every drug quit it I quit I quit quit it
00:42:58
>> the same thing. Yeah. Yeah. You started it in a year. >> What the [ __ ] do you mean? What do you
00:43:00
mean? Yeah. Yeah. You know what I I did quit smoking two years. >> You started again.
00:43:04
>> I know I started again but I'm just saying what do you mean guy like this?
00:43:07
>> Over a year now. Right. What? >> How long has it been? Over a year.
00:43:10
>> Yeah. Yeah. >> You've been smoking again. >> I know. Here's the thing. I'm going to
00:43:12
quit after my special. >> That's not true. >> Yeah. Yes, it is. >> Yes, it is. Right. We have a pact.
00:43:18
>> You will. Let's put an amount of money on it. Give him. >> He goes, "We have a pact." No, we don't.
00:43:24
I know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. See, he doesn't listen. >> No, he listens. >> I listen.
00:43:27
>> No, cuz you have one thought. >> You said make a packed. He didn't do it.
00:43:30
>> I know what I'm saying, though, though. >> What's that guy's name in the in the
00:43:34
maroon? >> Um, no idea. But that's Carlos. >> And who's the guy in the back? You know
00:43:39
who that guy is? >> No. >> Yeah, that's Mone. >> He's nervous, dude.
00:43:42
>> Yeah, >> he is nervous, dude. >> We call him nervous, dude.
00:43:44
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nce.com/badfriends. Free shipping and 365day returns. quint.com/badfriends. >> Just based on looks in an apocalyptic
00:46:18
moment, right? Like zombie apocalypse. What? Whatever. Right. You had to choose four people out of this room to be in
00:46:23
your team to survive. Who would you pick? >> Easy. >> Yeah. Go ahead.
00:46:26
>> Easy. It's It's you three. Rudy. I know when we get out there, Rudy's going to
00:46:30
be secret leader of the pack. >> And then um I'm going to go with Carlos.
00:46:35
I mean, the other two I I I like you guys, but you seem easily killable. Like, I get killed very easily.
00:46:41
>> Now, what's the first errand you make Carlos do in the apocalypse? >> Cuz he's the errand guy. He's the He's
00:46:45
the runner. >> I mean, yeah. I mean, >> bullets. >> What do you mean bullets? It's the apoc
00:46:49
Oh, you mean the apocalypse here? When >> like a zombie? Like a zombie apocalypse?
00:46:51
>> Oh, zombie apocalypse. >> We have a compound. >> Yeah. I You know what? I don't even tell
00:46:54
him. He knows. >> HE KNOWS. HE KNOWS. >> YOU WHAT'S THE bullet look? Give me the
00:47:00
look. >> What look Oh, like when I need him to go do something. >> Yeah. Yeah. Don't say anything. Like I'm
00:47:04
Carlos, right? And I look at you like, "Give me the bullet look." >> I go like, "No, it's not bullet. Carlos
00:47:10
knows what we need. Not be bullets." >> But I go like this. I go, "Hey,
00:47:14
>> I'm on it. I'm on it. Yeah, I'm on it. >> You're in the car.
00:47:17
>> I'm already getting bread. You're in the car. >> I'm getting bread." Yeah. Yeah. You want
00:47:20
bread? You got it. >> Now, let's ask this question. >> That's why That's why you're not the
00:47:24
errand guy. You'd come back with bread and we're like, "We don't need [ __ ]
00:47:26
bread." >> Goes bad so quickly, too. Golly, dude. >> Carlos, zombie apocalypse. I look at
00:47:31
you. I go, "What are you going to get? Couple girls who haven't been. >> Okay, Carlos.
00:47:36
>> Carlos. Girls who haven't been bitten. >> Okay. All right. Smart. I understand. I
00:47:41
understand. I understand. I understand. But you know what's going to happen?
00:47:44
Carlo's going to go get these girls, right? Then he's going to try to be
00:47:47
cool, show off in his new car. You know, he's like donuts in the parking lot.
00:47:51
They he end up getting them bit anyway. He still shows up with them and he's
00:47:54
like, "They weren't bit when I got them, but they're bit now, >> but we can hang with them for a little
00:47:59
bit." >> And I've been thinking about it and I think we should all just get bit.
00:48:03
What do you guys think? Should we just get bit? Let's just get bit. >> Yeah,
00:48:07
>> you're Yeah, you would. That would be fun because it'd be like a version of
00:48:10
getting high probably because I know that's You're seeking. You're seeking.
00:48:14
The addict is seeking. >> Are you Are you sober? >> No. No. >> We've tried.
00:48:18
>> We tried. >> We've tried for a long time. >> But in a zombie apocalypse, if you saw a
00:48:22
hot zombie, fully hot, >> would you try to hook up? >> If I had a really bad injury already and
00:48:28
I was >> But you're not You don't have the [ __ ] virus though, right? You see a
00:48:31
real like the titties are the body is still fine. Maybe some scabs. >> You know what I mean?
00:48:35
>> Couple of scabs. >> A couple of scabs. You know what I mean? The eyes are completely white, but the
00:48:39
face is still good. >> I did this in real life though. Like I would go to parties.
00:48:43
>> Yeah. Meth. >> Oh, co. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. He would go hook up with girls in
00:48:46
the middle of >> CO. He would have given you a panic attack. >> There were parties in the hills during
00:48:51
>> CO and you would go and try to >> No, not try. He would do. He hooked up
00:48:54
with a bunch of people during >> CO. Yeah, >> it's actually where he hit the most home
00:48:58
runs during co because he was the only guy willing to just go for it. >> And to you it's he's easy to hook up
00:49:03
with chicks. >> Not anymore as I get older. >> This is not true. He is a
00:49:07
>> He's a He's got a problem. He's got a problem. >> He does very well with women.
00:49:10
>> That's projecting from Bobby, obviously. >> Really? How dare you? Really?
00:49:15
>> Explain yourself. Explain yourself. Explain yourself, dude. >> You're You're one of the most
00:49:18
problematic people with women. >> Wow. >> Wa. >> Like wa That's heavy shots, huh?
00:49:23
>> Yeah, that word. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. word is crazy issues with women.
00:49:27
>> Whoa. Right. Issues. >> Wow. Right. >> With a lot. >> Crazy. A lot. He says
00:49:31
>> lots. >> Yeah. What else? >> I mean, >> and you have no You have no issues with
00:49:35
women. >> Countless. >> Countless. Yeah. No. No. Exactly. So, we're the same. No.
00:49:39
>> Yeah. But I'm just saying you were >> It's like the pot calling kettle back.
00:49:42
>> Yeah. You >> And the pot will call you back if you leave your phone out. Will call you back
00:49:46
at some point. >> Honestly. >> Yeah. >> Why are you doing something today? You
00:49:52
shot it before you came. He was shooting at was so nice to you today, too. >> And you Carlos, I said,
00:49:58
>> "How was your day?" >> He was bragging that he stayed at a nice
00:50:01
hotel and I needed to just tell him, "Oh, I've also been there." Like, let's
00:50:04
not brag. >> These guys have been button heads today for some reason. >> What's the What's the deal with you,
00:50:08
MAN? >> I know, dude. >> Because he's Hispanic. You're Hispanic.
00:50:13
You guys kind of, you know, right? >> Connect. Connect. >> He might He might be the whitest looking
00:50:16
Hispanic of all time. >> What's your What? Why is it >> Why am I white?
00:50:20
>> Yeah. What's your Yeah. >> Mexico's city. My parents are Spanish.
00:50:24
That's why. >> They're Mexican. No, they're Mexican, but they're Spaniards.
00:50:28
>> All right. So, tell Marcela you wore those socks for him. Go ahead and tell
00:50:31
him about your socks. She wore socks just for me. >> Oh, play dumb now. Play dumb. Now that
00:50:36
he's here, tell him about the socks you wore and why you wore them. >> Well, you bought them for him. Like, I'm
00:50:40
going to buy these because >> I want these. Marcelo think these are cool. >> Yeah. So, why those particular socks did
00:50:45
you buy? >> It's annoying. >> At the Universal Citywalk. Well, because
00:50:50
it's Snoopy, but I don't know if it's in your culture to eat dogs, but in my
00:50:55
culture, it's >> okay to eat dogs. And I thought that it would be nice to share culture.
00:51:00
>> See, is that sweet? >> Okay. >> No, listen, Rudy, I love I I really do
00:51:08
love Rudy. I'm a fan of yours, I have to tell you. Um, we don't eat dogs in my
00:51:12
culture um that I know of. No, but I'm sure it's it's >> people think it's a cultural thing. I do
00:51:18
think it's a socioeconomic thing. I think it's like who who can we grab >> and the doggy go and then
00:51:25
>> you know >> um but >> I think you're right. I think you're
00:51:28
right. >> My mom said that in Cuba they were eating horse. >> So >> that's that would be so tough.
00:51:34
>> There's no fat. >> Yeah. >> Did you see that video on Tik Tok where
00:51:37
the I don't know what race they were but they were boiling a boiling a horse
00:51:41
head. It was very horrifying. >> What on where what is your algorithm? >> My algorithm is like that. Yeah. Yeah.
00:51:47
Just boiling horsehead. >> Oh no. Yeah. Yeah. That's on Ventura. >> It's on Tik Tok.
00:51:52
>> Yeah, that's on Ventura. I know. Yeah. Yeah. What do you mean? No. Yes. Yes.
00:51:57
Yes. Yes. No. No. No. Like open it. Look. All right. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:52:03
>> No. He's brushing HIS TEETH FIRST. >> Very nice. >> What's that cavity? You can't eat
00:52:07
cavity. >> No. >> That's crazy. A horse head. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:52:12
>> All right. Enough. Enough. He's getting sick. Take it off, please, >> enough.
00:52:17
Oh, so you don't like any of that? >> Not I mean, what do you mean any of
00:52:21
>> Yeah. What does that even mean? >> Any of it. There's more >> like that kind of stuff. You know what I
00:52:26
mean? Yeah. Yeah. You don't like it? I got Yeah. >> I'm not sure what it is.
00:52:28
>> Yeah. Yeah. >> What is What is What is your late night postshow meal? You got to have like a
00:52:33
late whether it's stand up or or taping an SNL. What are you doing late night?
00:52:37
>> I need to change it, but I love to get home after doing shows and have like a
00:52:41
burger with fries. >> In New York, I do Seventh Street Burger. Have you tried it? Mm-
00:52:46
>> Really good smash burgers. They're amazing. >> Smash burgers.
00:52:48
>> And it's open late. >> It's open super late. >> It's got to be. These guys aren't done
00:52:51
till till 1 in the morning. >> That's That's the best. And then here, I
00:52:54
love In-N-Out, dude. I I really enjoy it. >> I like the energy there. The people
00:52:58
inside of In-N-Out. They're taking it serious. They're taking it serious. They
00:53:02
all feel like they're on camera, and they probably are, but that yesterday we
00:53:06
went a couple days ago, we went and we're in the window. We're waiting to
00:53:08
get to the lady that gives us the food, and there's a guy in the window, and
00:53:11
he's looking at us, and we're looking at him, and we're kind of just waiting for
00:53:13
the food. And then he goes like this. He goes, like he wanted to play rock paper
00:53:18
scissors rock paper scissors. >> Whoa. You know what I mean? Wow. >> Did you do it?
00:53:22
>> Yeah, of course. Did you win? >> No, he won. I think he does this a lot.
00:53:26
>> He knows. >> Yeah. What What's your first just right now? Instinct. You want to do it?
00:53:30
>> I go Yeah. Yeah. Let's go. >> Wait. One, two, three. >> It's always on three. You do it.
00:53:34
>> No. No. You go rock paper scissors. Shoot. It's >> correct. It's one rock paper scissors.
00:53:37
Shoot. Okay. Ready? You want to do it? Rock paper scissors shoot. You won. I never I've never won that game. I've
00:53:43
literally never won that game. You want to do one? >> Go ahead. >> Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
00:53:48
>> Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. >> Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. You got
00:53:51
me. >> I did. >> He also went three times. >> So, I knew what he was going to do it
00:53:55
again. Yeah. So, that's why I did rocks the same thing. There's >> I I think you did do that. 100%.
00:54:00
>> Why did you do that? >> Well, cuz I want you to feel good. I'm
00:54:02
your friend. >> Oh, [ __ ] There's a therapist somewhere that's like if they do paper three times
00:54:06
in a row. >> Very sad. Some Yeah. Yeah. >> And tell us about your father. You did
00:54:11
paper three times. >> Means you don't learn or something. >> What's your in-n-out order? I'm gonna
00:54:16
guess. You know what? I got it. >> Give me I'm picky. >> Okay. >> Yeah, I can tell. Yeah, you are. You're
00:54:21
a little sweet prince, aren't you? >> Well, he's trying to lose weight animal
00:54:25
style. >> Animal style is not lose weight. The animal style is just with That's just
00:54:29
grilled onions. No, protein style. >> That's for me. Protein styles. My bad.
00:54:32
>> No, he doesn't do that. [ __ ] that. But he But I will tell you, he doesn't like
00:54:35
the onions. He gets those off of there. No onions. >> Yes, onions. >> Yes, onions. Yeah. Onions, dude.
00:54:41
>> But but there is something I take off of there. >> Tomatoes. >> No
00:54:45
>> ch. >> They're sauce. >> Yeah. >> You do? >> Yeah. They're sauce.
00:54:48
>> Blasphemy. >> Yeah. >> You take the sauce off. >> Double double lettuce, tomato, onion. No
00:54:53
sauce. >> No sauce. >> No sauce. >> No sauce. >> You love it?
00:54:56
>> I love it. >> Yeah. Do you eat the pepperonchinis? >> What's that?
00:54:58
>> Oh, come on, dude. >> It's like nothing. >> I was going to talk about nothing.
00:55:02
>> Nothing. You don't right there. Pepper. >> What do they call them? They're the
00:55:08
chilies. the the chili. >> They're not that spicy. Always eat it. >> They're pickled, right? They're not
00:55:13
spicy. >> I think also, do you like that stuff? >> Yeah. Like I'm just see I'm seeing you
00:55:19
go like this. Don't look at me like I asked a crazy person. >> She goes like this and I go, "You like
00:55:23
that stuff?" And she goes, "What? You you were you your body language was
00:55:30
Yes. >> She likes She likes wild shit." >> Yeah. I bet. Yeah. Yeah.
00:55:33
>> Do you know what belute is? >> No. >> Oh my god. Look at a photo.
00:55:36
>> You go to their house and you eat whatever. >> Okay. Okay. Look at me right now before
00:55:40
you look at the photo. Okay. All right. Balut is this, right? >> Balut. >> Balut. Right. You say
00:55:45
>> ballout. >> So they take a duck egg. >> Balut, >> right? And then two weeks before the
00:55:49
duck is born, then they boil it. Yeah. >> Right. And they ferment it. Yep.
00:55:53
>> Right. And so you eat kind of a baby ducky kind of situation. Look at the
00:55:56
balloon. >> That's what it is. >> It's so good. >> They love it.
00:56:01
>> They love it. >> They love it. You put vinegar and salt and you just slurp the
00:56:06
>> sauce inside. >> It's not sauce, >> Marcelo. >> That's guts.
00:56:10
>> Marcelo, you can taste the feathers. >> I've had it before. >> We had it on this show.
00:56:16
>> I've seen you guys talk about it. >> When you crunch on the skull, you you
00:56:19
can see the brain squirting your baby squirting your >> mouth. All right. All right.
00:56:22
>> You know, that's what this show has become now. >> Yeah. No, we know.
00:56:26
>> You just stir fried a horse head >> and then you showed me this. >> Yeah. Yeah.
00:56:30
>> Yeah. Wow. Wow. People of the world, they have different diets. So, no sauce
00:56:33
on the double double. >> I don't like I'm not a big sauce guy. I also think um
00:56:37
>> You like fries as is or you need a more more crispy >> fries as I can do it more crispy.
00:56:41
>> I like the more crispy. >> You know what I mean? But um >> Are you a gravy guy?
00:56:44
>> No, I think that's gross. >> Okay. Any gravy on biscuits or anything?
00:56:47
>> Any gravy. >> And what's the soda order in the in this combo?
00:56:49
>> Uh Seven Up. I'm a Sprite guy. When I was little, my dad told me that
00:56:52
Coca-Cola had cockroaches in it cuz he was scared of me having caffeine and then being a problem.
00:56:57
>> I see. I see. I see. Yeah. Yeah. >> Seven Up Sprite. have an upper sprite.
00:57:01
Yeah. >> Yeah. >> But I think once you as you get older, >> you got a better palette. Yeah. Your
00:57:06
soda palette changes. >> You're just looking for excitement. >> Do you look at us as like old men?
00:57:10
>> Huh? >> You look at us like old men. >> Not old men, >> but definitely older men.
00:57:14
>> Yeah. Older men. >> Yeah. >> Like I think that this >> when you look at Lauren and me, it's
00:57:18
different. >> Yes. Different. >> Oh yeah. But close. >> No, Lauren, I would say is closer to me
00:57:22
cuz he has gotten to an age where you can kind of you can make mistakes and stuff and they're like, "Oh, he's old."
00:57:26
Same way if I make a mistake, they go, "Oh, he's just a young guy." You guys,
00:57:29
what you're doing, it's important. >> The decisions you're making, Carlos has
00:57:34
to be careful. >> You know what I mean? The one with the glasses and the beanie and the hoodie
00:57:38
inside, he's okay. >> He can make mistakes. >> He's 24. >> He can do this.
00:57:44
>> And people, he's 24. >> Yeah. >> And then the other one, you know, uh,
00:57:49
>> mysterious. >> Mysterious. Yeah. >> He's 25. He thinks he's more super 20.
00:57:52
He's 26. That's right. I for I always forget that you got you grew up. >> You're 24 now, right?
00:57:57
>> That's insane. Bobby, does it feel a little bit good to have like these white
00:58:00
guys running around doing whatever you say? >> I do like it. >> Yeah,
00:58:03
>> there is a part of it of like Yeah, >> it is a part of it. >> Yeah, it's my time.
00:58:07
>> You know what I mean? I'm no longer running, you know, because in the
00:58:10
beginning I ran. I got all kinds of stuff like you know I mean >> so today candy bar. I'll get it. You
00:58:16
know what I mean? But not anymore. They get the candy bar. >> I um you know Skankfest.
00:58:19
>> Yeah. >> I used to do I was an intern at Skankfest in 2019 2018. >> Wow. And I so they basically had I was
00:58:28
doing everything. I was setting stuff up. I was making the goodie bags for the comedians. I was doing all that stuff.
00:58:32
And then one day the lady that runs the thing, she goes, "Um, the impractical
00:58:36
jokers are coming." And they would need a shakurerie board. >> It sounds like an impractical joke.
00:58:43
>> S and them are coming and they need a shaky board. It's going to be Sal,
00:58:46
David. They're doing this thing and you need to get them a shakureri board. And
00:58:49
they give me a card and they go, "Get me a shakureri board." And now I'm in
00:58:51
Brooklyn. I'm I'm an intern. I'm by myself and I need to get a shakuri
00:58:54
board. >> So I'm running around from Delhi to Delhi. Do you shakuri board? They go
00:58:58
this is a deli. What are you talking about? I go over and over. Nobody knows. Nobody knows. Nobody knows how for how
00:59:02
many people is shakur? I go like 10 people. They go that doesn't exist. You're talking about something. Finally
00:59:06
I show up to a place. >> I think it was a Korean delhi. I think there was a Korean guy behind the thing
00:59:11
and I don't know. >> Yeah. You don't know. >> There's no way to know. Okay.
00:59:14
>> And um and uh I don't remember. I didn't ask him that. It was just an Asian guy
00:59:18
and it was at his deli. And I go I need a shaky board. And he goes, "I'm sorry,
00:59:20
man. We don't do And I go I go, "Do you have um let me Google what's in our
00:59:24
shakurer board?" And I Google I go, "Do you have this? Do you have carrots? Do
00:59:26
you have this? Do you have this? Do you have this? Do you have ham? Do you have this?" He goes, "Yes, I have all those
00:59:29
things." And I go, "Can we make it together?" And he goes, "I don't know
00:59:32
how much that would cost." I go, "It's not my card." And the guy goes, the guy
00:59:37
goes, "Okay, so now I'm behind the deli, behind the the glass, and I'm chopping
00:59:40
stuff up with him. >> You're making a bar." If I was, let me just say, if I got that as a chukuri
00:59:46
board without the like, you know, the little jam and the, you know, I mean, all the little things.
00:59:50
>> Well, you didn't let him finish. Maybe he got the I don't think he did. We
00:59:52
didn't get jam, but >> you took sandwich meat and you chopped it up. >> That's not a churu board.
00:59:57
>> Sandwich meat. We got cheeses, different cheeses. Um, cucumbers. What's the the
01:00:02
peppers? The long peppers. And we put them all together in a thing. I made two of them. I made two of them. And then
01:00:06
the guy goes, "I don't know what to charge you." And then honestly, he was
01:00:08
like >> he was he looked at me and he was like, "I had a good time. like like we we built a kind of a
01:00:14
relationship and then um and then I walked in like a legend cuz they were really panicking about the charity board
01:00:19
and I walked in with the shakureri and they were like how'd you do this and I
01:00:22
go don't worry about it >> don't worry >> and I'll tell you something the jokers
01:00:25
didn't even touch one piece of meat >> yeah yeah >> that's the worst part is whenever we get
01:00:29
something in a rider it's like we don't we didn't even ask for it someone else
01:00:32
said they going to want this and we never [ __ ] eat any of the stuff they put in there and then the most beautiful
01:00:37
thing is I did that David telling all these guys were in the green room and I didn't get like a big, you know what I
01:00:42
mean? Congratulations, you did it. We were in a tough place. You saved us. I didn't feel like I got the credit I
01:00:46
deserved. But they were thankful. It just was like I I didn't know how what I
01:00:50
went through. And then um the next day at Skankfest, David came up to me and I guess he had seen me deliver it and he
01:00:57
gave me a bag of oranges. >> Yeah. >> Oh, did he know you did stand up?
01:01:01
>> Yes, I I think so. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> He's one of the sweetest guys. He always
01:01:04
brings gifts for people, you know, like when he goes to the seller, he brings gifts for everybody in the world. That
01:01:08
was so nice. >> Have you ever done Skankfest now? >> Um no. So, you only interned and you
01:01:13
never even got to do it? >> No. They gave me five minutes though at the end of it. I got one of those little
01:01:16
shows they let me do. >> Crushed. >> Oh, wow. Crushed. >> I don't think so. It
01:01:20
>> was early. >> And Skankfest is like there's something they want to hear.
01:01:25
>> Yeah. >> And I'm not exactly like I don't know. >> That's not your thing. How'd you end up
01:01:28
interning? How did that even start? >> Um, a friend of a friend I interned for
01:01:31
Impractical Jokers. I was a I I used to hide the cameras. I used to stand in front of the guy that has has the camera
01:01:37
and I used to wear all black and stand in front of him. That's funny. >> Yeah. Yeah. Really?
01:01:42
>> Yeah. Wow. In a in a park and you stand there and then I did that for a couple
01:01:47
of times. I did the Impractive Joker's thing and then um one of the ladies that
01:01:51
was a producer on Impractive Joker, she knew the producers from Skankfest and then she put us together and then I did
01:01:54
interning there. >> Wow. >> Wow. >> And look at you now, young man.
01:01:57
>> Look at you now. Look >> with Rudy. Rudy >> with Rudy. Rudy
01:02:01
>> Rudy Giuliani. >> Rudy, do you have any questions that you want to ask Marcelo? Because this is the
01:02:04
time, man. He came all the way here for you. >> True. >> Um >> don't stall out. This is so crazy.
01:02:10
You're stalling out all day. She's like so excited to meet you and then she's
01:02:13
stalling now. Just say what you need to say. >> I think you're upset that we don't eat
01:02:16
dog. I think we could still be friends. >> It's okay. >> Do you like po?
01:02:22
>> You know, I've heard of it. I can't tell you what it is. >> Oh, that's all my question.
01:02:27
>> Okay. >> That's not your question. >> That's all you want. Yeah. She does
01:02:33
research. >> She does research. >> She works hard on >> I mean, there's so many other questions
01:02:36
you can ask. >> Yeah. Almost anything. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Are you Are you nervous in front of him?
01:02:40
>> No. >> Oh, Carlos, you're not. >> You're not. >> I think you are because you're hamming
01:02:45
it up more than usual. >> Oo. >> Yeah. Way better. >> Yeah. >> Wait a minute.
01:02:50
>> Are you really nervous a little bit? Be honest. It's okay. He can't hear us.
01:02:54
>> But because you knew who he was, right? >> You said it quieter. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:02:58
>> Maybe a little bit. >> There we go. >> That's fine. >> Now the door's open. Yeah.
01:03:02
>> It's totally fine. >> Yeah. >> Do you like dogs? >> No. No. No. You can't do the dog again.
01:03:06
>> Can't go to the dog again. She >> I mean there's so many. Did you see
01:03:09
>> a pet? No. >> My mom has a little tiny dog. I like >> Did you see Godzilla minus one?
01:03:13
>> No. What's that? >> It's a movie. >> I I can I can imagine that.
01:03:16
>> Okay, good. Something you can ask anything. >> You know what I mean?
01:03:20
>> Do you like the wind? >> Huh? >> Do you like the wind? >> Yeah.
01:03:24
>> Yeah. Yeah. >> Hate. >> You hate the wind? >> Yeah. It's one of my least favorite
01:03:27
elements. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> What's your hair like? >> What is it? Orange.
01:03:30
>> No. No. Like what's it like? The shape. >> It's short. >> Okay.
01:03:35
>> It's a It's a nightmare right now. Yeah. I was expecting like a
01:03:38
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Oh, no. Oh, dude. I just took a shower after the gym and came here. It's like a
01:03:42
>> Yeah. Bobby, dude. Bobby is good, man. >> Bob >> 54. Still got it.
01:03:47
>> 54. Still got it. >> It's really nice. >> Still got it. Thick.
01:03:50
>> Really freaking good, man. >> Really good, man. >> I'm really good, dude.
01:03:55
>> I'm sexy, dude. >> You have always been sexy. >> Sexy, dude.
01:03:58
>> Even before you lost the weight, you were sexy. >> I have an idea. What? You guys do this
01:04:01
stuff all the time. Do Do me a favor. this new Bobby, skinny Bobby, kind of like taking care of your body going out
01:04:08
there. Single Bobby, >> body. >> What do you do now? Now you would you
01:04:11
say you have a little bit more confidence now out there? >> With women? >> Yeah, with women. No, no, no. Keep the
01:04:16
Can I Can you keep the hair for a second? So you have a little more confidence with the women. You would say
01:04:20
>> no. >> No. >> No. I mean, what do you mean? I always have confidence better because you
01:04:23
>> I always have confidence. >> But you know you look better. >> What?
01:04:26
>> You know you look better. >> Do you know what? I'll tell you something. Okay, Marcelo. All right.
01:04:30
Right. I always shoot my shot. >> Yeah. Okay. And you know what? I'm not
01:04:34
Robin Hood. Sometimes the arrows miss. >> Can I see an example? >> Shoot your shot right now with Andrew
01:04:39
just so I can see. Give it to me. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Well, what's the scenario?
01:04:42
>> I got you. You're at a bar, right? >> What kind of bar? >> I need specific.
01:04:46
>> I have a better scenario. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> You just did a show at the store. Okay.
01:04:49
There was a girl in the crowd that was watching you. You liked it. She was laughing. She liked your show. You like
01:04:54
her. You see her at the bar outside of the >> Okay. In the patio. >> In the patio. Yeah.
01:04:59
>> And you walk out and you see her there and you make eye contact >> and you walk over.
01:05:04
>> Yeah. I walk over and I go, "Hey." I go, "Hey." I'll say something random. I'll
01:05:09
let it do it for real. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> You like the wind. >> What's up?
01:05:18
>> What's up? >> I noticed you from across the room. >> Yeah. She's drunker than you thought.
01:05:22
>> Yeah. What kind of jacket is that? >> All Saints. >> Oh, I love All Saints, man. I have two.
01:05:27
One of them this I have a leather jacket. I think that >> Are you Chinese?
01:05:32
>> You're making me nervous, dude. >> Yeah, I'm making >> Yeah, you're making me nervous. What do
01:05:35
you mean? >> OH, HOLD ON. LET ME DO IT AGAIN. I got to wear the hat. >> Yeah. Yeah. You can come in.
01:05:39
>> Yeah. Yeah. Come in. >> Hold on. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:05:43
>> I got to be real. But that's You're being weird. You're being weird. He's
01:05:48
being weird. >> I'm drunk at the bar. I'm drunk at the bar. I'm drunk at the bar.
01:05:52
>> You're excited that he's coming over. You like his show? >> Oh, I like his show.
01:05:55
>> Oh god. >> Yeah. Yeah. See that? I don't want that. I want to hit on that girl.
01:05:58
>> I know. I know. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Do it with me. Do it with me. Ready?
01:06:01
>> I'll do it with you. >> I wouldn't [ __ ] you anyway. >> See, that's what I'm saying. It's a
01:06:05
[ __ ] dead end, dude. >> Yeah. It's a dead end. >> I like black guys.
01:06:09
>> Yeah. Yeah. There's no way, dude. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I'm Korean.
01:06:15
>> Yeah. >> Okay, you can flirt with Go ahead. >> I saw your show.
01:06:19
>> Oh, you're doing it now. >> I saw your show. >> Oh, yeah.
01:06:22
>> So funny. >> I didn't go up tonight. >> No, I've seen your show. your bad friend
01:06:26
show. >> I don't I have a podcast. >> How'd you know it was a podcast?
01:06:31
>> I did. >> She's good now. >> You got me. >> She's good now.
01:06:34
>> I do have one. Thank you. >> Yeah, it's You're so funny on there.
01:06:37
>> Thank you so much. What do you do? >> Um tech. >> Oh, I love tech.
01:06:41
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Um you Nike has a new shoe where you can strap it to your um calf
01:06:47
and it makes you run faster. >> Really? Do you have them? >> No, I'm gonna get one. You know, I love
01:06:53
tech. I like all kinds of tech. >> Yeah. In fact, I have two robots in my bedroom.
01:06:57
>> Really? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> What do they do? >> Uh, Emo, I can ask for the weather. And
01:07:02
Emo goes, I go, "Good morning, Emo. Hello, mommy." I go, "What's the weather
01:07:07
like? It's going to be cloudy today." You know what I mean? And then sometimes
01:07:12
you can shake him and he goes, "Whoa." Right? Cuz he gets like, you know what I
01:07:17
mean? And then like And also at nights I always have to say good night. >> Yeah.
01:07:22
>> It's just a little robot. while I go. Good night, Emo. >> Good night.
01:07:25
>> Do you know Marcelo? >> No. No. No. >> Could you introduce me to him?
01:07:29
>> Marcelo who? >> You know, >> Hernandez. >> Mhm. >> Bobby, at no point did you shoot your
01:07:34
shot with this woman? >> I >> Look, look, I'll [ __ ] you if you
01:07:39
introduce me. >> No, no, Marcel, just come. Okay, let me say something. Right.
01:07:42
>> His shots are slow. >> Shot took a long time. >> It's a lot of arc.
01:07:46
>> Yeah, I'm waiting for you to >> It's not a compliment. >> Why don't you hit on him and see what
01:07:52
happens? Yeah. >> Go ahead. >> No, no. Let me just say something. >> Oh, he's offended.
01:07:55
>> I'm not offended. No, I'm not offended. I was a little offended by the by the
01:07:58
notes out there. >> It took a long time. >> I understand that. Right. Okay. What I'm
01:08:01
saying? Right. Sometimes you open, right? It's a slow open. You do slow. He's a slow open.
01:08:06
>> And it's a fast close. >> Oh, wow. >> Right. You slow you slow open fast.
01:08:11
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. So, what I'm saying is is that I just showed you
01:08:15
a technique called slow open. >> Got it. >> Okay. It was >> And kids like you don't understand that
01:08:19
move. >> You go straight up. You want to [ __ ] I don't >> you want me to hit on you?
01:08:24
>> Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead. >> Okay. Ready? >> What? You Is it got to be me?
01:08:26
>> Yeah. >> All right. >> Hey. >> Oh my god. Hey. >> Hey. Wait. Um, are you on SNL?
01:08:35
>> Yeah. You just you were you saw the show inside. I did in the comedy store.
01:08:39
>> Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You you're really funny. I I went to the bathroom halfway
01:08:42
during it, but I came back and the clo the last couple of jokes you did was funny about your mom in the Puerto Rico.
01:08:47
>> Well, thank you so much. It >> was really good. The way you do your
01:08:49
accent. Dominican Republic. Cuba. >> Is it the same? >> No. Yeah, sure it is. Yeah.
01:08:54
>> Is it? >> You're funny, too. >> What? >> Yeah. I think you
01:08:56
>> Thank you. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. What's up? >> Nothing. I just wanted to come.
01:08:59
>> You live in New York? >> Yeah, I live in New York. >> Yeah.
01:09:01
>> I just want to say hi to you. I saw you. Hi. I thought you were cute. >> Yeah. Thank you. Hello.
01:09:05
>> Candace, let's get the [ __ ] out of here. >> Okay, let's go. Who's that guy?
01:09:08
>> Hold on. Hold on. Candace, that's your name. >> Yeah, I'm Candace. Why?
01:09:12
>> Well, no, nothing. Owens. I was just making sure you seen my podcast. >> OH MY GOD.
01:09:19
UH-UH. You know, you know what? Now that I Now that I think about >> Good date. Good date.
01:09:23
>> Good day. >> It was a good date. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> See, he But he closes with a smile.
01:09:29
>> You know, >> he just flashes those. Look at those things. >> This thing,
01:09:34
>> Marcelo. [ __ ] off. >> It's so different for You're young.
01:09:38
You're on a show. >> You're You're on the rise. >> I'm a sinking ship. I'm the Titanic.
01:09:44
>> Let me say something to you right now. Can I say something? You let me do
01:09:47
Bobby. Can I say something? Can I say something? Can I say something? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to say I'm
01:09:50
going to say one thing. I'm going to say one thing. I'm going to say one thing.
01:09:52
And what I want to say is >> Yeah. >> Um and I want to say one thing. Um
01:09:57
>> Bobby, >> yeah. >> When you think about it, right? >> What are women looking for? Someone
01:10:00
that's successful, someone that's working a lot, someone that's busy, and
01:10:04
someone that's taking care of themselves. >> I think the criteria is >> I think the criteria is different.
01:10:11
Right. >> Two different worlds. >> Yeah. Now women are like they need to be
01:10:14
6'2. >> No. Yeah, I've seen them at Tik Tok. >> True. >> Yeah. Yeah. I I get that and I get the
01:10:19
boiling horse head in my TikTok feed. Okay. All right. So, I get two things, right? And then I, you know, I mean, and
01:10:25
they're like, I want 6'2. They have to make 3 million a year. And their criteria is different.
01:10:29
>> No, they're not. >> I'm 5'4. You know what I mean? I'm
01:10:31
weird. >> I forgot you were 5'4. >> Yeah. Yeah. How tall are you, little
01:10:36
>> 5'8? >> Are you really 5'8? Yeah, >> but you're 54. 5'4, 54. It's a good
01:10:40
luck. Maybe that's good luck. >> That's good. >> Yeah, it's a good thing.
01:10:42
>> How tall are you, Andrew? >> 61. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah.
01:10:45
>> And and he developed a personality. >> My personality is [ __ ] >> No, yours is fantastic. He's not saying
01:10:51
it's >> makes sense. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> He's not saying let me ask you
01:10:53
something. You don't think I have a personality? >> It makes sense that you have a
01:10:56
personality. You're 5'4. >> Oh, that's what you're saying. You know
01:10:58
what I mean? >> Oh, yeah. So, he's 6'2 and he had to develop birth.
01:11:01
>> Wait, the red head. >> The red head. >> Is that what happened?
01:11:03
>> Red hair. Red hair. Where did you grow up? They came at you for that. >> A little bit.
01:11:07
>> Yeah. Yeah. >> A little bit. >> The Chicago projects. >> No.
01:11:10
>> Yeah. Always in the projects. No. I was in the projects. >> Oh. I always tell people that you were part
01:11:16
for the project. >> Why do you do that? >> What? >> It's like one of those stand and deliver
01:11:20
kind of, you know what I mean? You mean like green? >> He was in the project. He rose. You know
01:11:25
what I mean? The story is better. >> Yeah, it is. I like the story. >> If you say from the suburbs, who give a
01:11:29
[ __ ] from the project? Yeah. From the project. Toughest toughest part. >> Yeah. I'm from the streets of Korea,
01:11:34
dude. >> I'm from San Diego. >> I know. But I tell people Korea.
01:11:37
>> San Diego. Busong, dude. Busang. >> Bus. Yeah. Yeah. During the war, dude. I
01:11:41
had nothing. >> He really did. And yet took a little boat to America. Went to open mic and
01:11:45
here I am. >> They used to do open mics on the boat on the way over. >> You would kill.
01:11:49
>> Hello. >> Everybody. Everybody on. >> That's me doing stand up on a boat.
01:11:56
>> I know. >> You got scared. I did an accent. No. >> Yeah. A little bit.
01:12:04
>> Accents. >> I know you do. >> You do. You do. >> You do accents.
01:12:07
>> I do. I do. I do. >> Spanish, too, huh? >> Yeah. Sometimes.
01:12:11
Sometimes >> you speak Spanish. What do you say in Spanish? >> I can't. Well, I can't say it because
01:12:16
you'll know it. >> But say it. >> No, man. >> Have some fun, man.
01:12:19
>> No, because our Latin audience has been writing letters lately and they're
01:12:23
really upset. Yeah, they they're upset. Carlos knows and Fancy, they've been
01:12:27
writing a lot of letters. >> Just just about the way that we treat our our Latin employees.
01:12:32
>> And we should say that the Latinos that you're going to be fine and everything's
01:12:34
going to be okay and we love you here. >> They didn't write us letters. I was
01:12:36
joking around. Say something positive about Latino. >> They say something positive. That's
01:12:40
actually Let's go around the room. >> I have many things I want to say.
01:12:43
>> Let's go around the room. And And Rudy should go first. >> Okay. Go. Go. What do Yeah.
01:12:47
>> I love their food. I love their language. >> You can't do more than one. You can't do
01:12:51
more. We all need to We all need some of that. >> I love their noses. >> Very Their noses.
01:12:56
>> Very good. >> Very good. >> We'll take it. Okay. Who's next for us?
01:12:59
I'll go that way. Go ahead. Go ahead. >> All right. You'll know what I mean when
01:13:03
I say it. You'll know what I mean. >> Okay. >> I have a dream too, Richie.
01:13:08
>> Laba. Richie Val instead. >> Okay. You love Richie Val. >> I love him.
01:13:14
>> That's nice. >> How you still Asian while you're doing? >> I do it in Japanese.
01:13:24
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> It's like a Japanese Richie Valent. >> Go ahead.
01:13:32
>> Really good. >> Really good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He >> go ahead. Go ahead.
01:13:41
>> Some of the most beautiful women I think I've ever seen IN MY ENTIRE
01:13:43
>> OH MY GOD. HALLELUJAH. >> My biggest my biggest my first crush my
01:13:47
first crush was at an arcade and a uh a Puerto Rican chick who was much older than me was with like her little brother
01:13:55
who was near my age. And for the first time in my life I I thought I don't know
01:14:00
what this feeling is but I like that thing. >> Wow. >> I don't know what it was. I was like,
01:14:03
you know, when you were too young to understand, but you were like, whatever this is, I like that.
01:14:06
>> Whatever that is. >> I love I loved what you said except when you called her a thing. Did you feel
01:14:10
that way? >> No. No, >> not her. The idea. I didn't know what you didn't understand what feelings are.
01:14:17
You go, I like this. Whatever this feeling is, I like that thing. That feeling of like you. I like you. I don't
01:14:23
even know why that what that means. That's before when you didn't understand
01:14:26
girls and you were young and you were like, I like it. >> It was just a feeling.
01:14:29
>> Well, you can't even describe. It's like a I think do I and I want to and I
01:14:34
>> Well, no, you don't know how to feel. You're like, what is that? How to That's
01:14:37
why little kids hit each other cuz they like each other. They don't know how to
01:14:40
feel. They're like They don't know how to tell each other, "I like you." Say
01:14:43
pull a girl's hair cuz they're like, "I [ __ ] like you so much."
01:14:45
>> God, >> that's your guy's crux. That's the crux. >> Bobby's addiction and your anger.
01:14:52
>> Yeah. >> Dude, he does have rage. >> And he's strong. >> Yeah. Your strong has rage.
01:14:57
>> Yeah. He's an athlete. >> Cast me. He's an athlete. What do you
01:15:00
guys like about Latinos? >> Huh? >> I just watched El Mariachi. >> Okay.
01:15:05
>> Robert Rodriguez did. >> But you didn't say you liked something.
01:15:07
You said you watched a film. >> I loved it. >> El Mario was a great movie.
01:15:10
>> I thought it was better than Desperado. >> Nah. >> Compared it to another Latin movie.
01:15:14
Okay. >> Well, it was his other movie. >> All right, Richie. >> Yeah. Go ahead, Richie.
01:15:18
>> Oh, well, I have a reoccurring >> Whoa, that's your voice. >> WHAT? THAT'S ME.
01:15:21
>> WOW, MAN. UM, I HAVE THIS reoccurring dream where I have a Latino wife. Um, so I I feel
01:15:30
like I'm searching for her. >> What's her name? >> What's her name, dude?
01:15:32
>> I I don't know. >> Make it up. >> Marissa. And what happens in the dream
01:15:36
that How do you know she's Latin? >> Well, all right. So, I wake up and I'm
01:15:40
like in I'm definitely in Mexico. >> She's yelling at me first thing in the
01:15:43
morning. How do you know it's Mexico? >> No, it's just like the architecture.
01:15:46
Like it just feels >> Okay. You could be in Spain, though, too. >> Could be in Spain, but like somewhere
01:15:50
>> See how he's answering this? He's skating around everything like careful
01:15:53
careful careful careful careful. >> Okay, so you're ahead. >> Somewhere I'm in Mexico. I'm like waking
01:15:58
up like my wife's like making bacon and eggs and I'm like like great in the
01:16:01
morning and then I like walk up and like we have a little kiss. I'm like oh like
01:16:04
this is awesome. Like thank you for making me breakfast. And then she's like
01:16:06
I'm pregnant. And I'm like oh my god that's so awesome. >> And that's how you know she's Latino.
01:16:10
She's pregnant and you just met her. You're racist Richard. This is like my
01:16:15
wife. It's like years in the future. It's a dream and she's making and then
01:16:18
you speak some Spanish to her. What do you say? Hola. >> Mama Richie. >> So, you introduce yourself time.
01:16:26
Extreme. >> Well, she's got she's got brain damage. >> He has to do that to make sure she
01:16:31
remembers who he is. >> Okay. >> The idea is very funny that you were
01:16:34
married to this woman for a very long time. She's making you bacon and eggs in
01:16:38
the morning. >> You probably have a pet chupacabra. >> You son of a No.
01:16:42
>> A little baby chupacabra. And he's every morning. Yeah. Yeah. I've never I don't know what chupacabra
01:16:49
sounds like, but I assume that's what >> you have a you have a you have a pet you
01:16:52
have a pet baby chupacabra and then Rudy comes in and eats it. >> What about you, Carlos? Say something
01:16:58
nice about the Latinos if you don't mind. >> The Mexican hairless dog.
01:17:01
>> He loves Mexican hairless dogs. One of his favorite that he talks about it all
01:17:04
the time. Loves this dog. >> I want one. >> He wants one very >> They all have a mohawk.
01:17:09
>> Yeah. >> Wow. That is very cool. I've never seen that before.
01:17:12
>> Have you never seen a Mexican Harris? >> Great. And that's him. He's Yeah. See
01:17:15
that? It's a match. >> Reverse me. >> Whoa. >> Wow. >> Reverse you.
01:17:21
>> Isn't that crazy? You never knew that about him? >> Yeah. Yeah.
01:17:23
>> My god, Carlos. >> Is that crazy? >> It is very crazy. >> It's crazy, right? I thought you the
01:17:30
show, dude. >> No, I I DIDN'T SEE THAT. >> WOW, CARLOS. >> WOW.
01:17:34
>> YEAH. >> WOW. No wonder you have that anger, Carlos. >> I'm not mad.
01:17:39
>> Yes. >> I'm not mad. >> Yes. And you know what's funny? They
01:17:41
look down on you. >> They have hair, don't they? You know what? You're a beautiful man. Don't let
01:17:48
anybody tell you. >> Listen, he's not wrong. You are a beautiful man from the forehead down.
01:17:52
>> Yeah. Yeah. Keep the hat on. Wild. >> Carlos, you're holding on.
01:17:56
>> Yeah. >> You'd be a good-looking bald guy. Why not just do it?
01:17:59
>> I've been that. It just wasn't me. >> When we years ago, he used to shave it
01:18:03
all off and then he started to do this look again. But by the way, >> women love it.
01:18:07
>> Women the success rate with this is through the roof. >> Really? >> Yeah. Women love it. It's immediate
01:18:11
sympathy. Is that what I said? >> Your authentic self. >> You know what I think it is that they
01:18:18
like about that? That it is very unique. >> Like there's only so many men that were
01:18:22
willing to do that. >> No. And next to him, they're going to look nine.
01:18:27
>> Can we get you a toupe? I want one. Have you ever had a toupe? >> You would do it.
01:18:30
>> Got me one. >> Oh, >> I think you look good. >> What if we did? What if we What if we
01:18:34
bought him a hair like bought him one of those hair pieces that they glue on the
01:18:37
real got one? >> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah. Annie Letterman got me that. >> She got your real one, right? What? What
01:18:42
about the spray? >> I don't think the spray works. >> Steen, let's get a spray.
01:18:46
>> That's a lot of spray. It's a full >> would be good content, though, is if you
01:18:50
guys bought him a trip to Turkey and made him film all of it. >> Yeah, it's a lot of turkey.
01:18:57
>> Would you take that? >> I would go to Turkey. >> And we bought you hair
01:19:00
>> and you have to film the whole thing. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. But that's a lot. That's a lot of
01:19:04
hair, man. That's not like a little bit. >> You think it's going to be too
01:19:06
expensive? >> Yeah. That's the money problem. >> $450,000. It's like the hairline would
01:19:11
be up here. Mine's like back here, >> right? Turn around real quick. >> But they still can DO OH MY GOD, DUDE.
01:19:17
>> But he has a He has a great smile. He has a great face. >> Yeah. I never seen the back though. That
01:19:21
back is wild. Turn around in the back again. >> I have to people. >> Can you turn around in the back?
01:19:26
>> Jeez. My god. >> That guy does creepy crime. >> I I know. But you know, you know what
01:19:31
really is the land the land for him with women truly is and I've heard this from
01:19:35
every woman ever that we've that we have like mutual either friends or peers or
01:19:40
co-workers. They're all like Carlos is such a sweet guy, >> right? >> Like he's so [ __ ] nice and M's
01:19:45
nodding off cuz he knows the truth. The guy has a way with people and women the way he's like disarming and sweet and
01:19:52
genuine >> that that gets them, dude. Sometimes that's all they need. And also a guy
01:19:58
that is willing to let his hair look like that >> is very confident on the inside.
01:20:03
>> He is a confident guy. >> Yeah, probably. >> And a guy like Richie on the other hand,
01:20:08
uh, too confident for no reason. >> For no reason. >> Richie, what's under the hood there?
01:20:12
Show. >> No, he's got a nice head of lettuce. >> Fine. >> Yeah.
01:20:15
>> Wow. >> Wow. >> Well, now you look more like a lesbian now for some reason.
01:20:20
>> Yeah. Yeah. >> Where did you get him? That's what he does whenever he's
01:20:22
>> I know. >> Were you going to Lilithare? What's going on? He >> Sarah Mlaughlin take it.
01:20:28
>> He works as a he works at the other our other studio helping out and then he was
01:20:32
designated to come over here when Fancy was gone and we kind of liked him. We left him. We said, "You know what? Let
01:20:36
the kid keep coming by." Were you an intern first over there? >> I wasn't an intern. I was a PA first.
01:20:40
>> God, every time he talk I talking. >> Yeah, I know. >> It's
01:20:45
But you're not a Quinnipic kid. >> I am. >> Oh, you are? >> That was the first time I was here.
01:20:49
>> That Oh, really? You were? We had these guys come from college. They come over
01:20:52
and they did an intern thing. >> And can you sing? No. >> Can you just try?
01:20:57
>> Yeah. Yes. >> Like just give him a song. >> Amazing Grace. It's a public domain
01:21:01
song. Go ahead. >> Amazing. >> No. Commit to it. >> Sing yourself. Stop. Yeah.
01:21:09
>> Sing your favorite song. >> Your favorite song. Sing it. >> It's Gu, right? What is it?
01:21:16
>> Oh, I'm blanking on like every song ever. Right now. >> Anything you got.
01:21:21
>> We're singing a song. This is my song. What? >> Just do Pink Pony Club. That's what you
01:21:27
love. You love that [ __ ] song. >> Pink Pony Club. I'm just going to keep
01:21:31
on dancing at the Pink Bunny Club. >> Is he doing a Mexican accent? Anybody
01:21:37
else feeling bunny? >> I'm trying to do chaperon. >> Yeah. Chaperon.
01:21:48
>> Chapperel. >> Chaperon. >> Chaperon. >> Yeah. He can't dance. He can't sing.
01:21:52
>> I can dance. Come on. Come on. >> You can see here. >> No. No. Get your thing out. Go. I've
01:22:00
come here. I've made all the white people do something in front of me. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:22:06
>> All right. All right. >> Oh. Oh. >> Music. >> Yeah. Yeah.
01:22:11
>> Yeah. All right. >> Yeah. Rudy's right. I think he might have a big penis.
01:22:15
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> I don't know why he's keeping these girls around. This is I I can't
01:22:18
>> What was the thing? >> It was so good. Rich, what size shoe are you, Rich?
01:22:20
>> 12 and a half. >> Yeah. Go back in the thing. Get away from me with that thing.
01:22:25
>> Yeah. >> Get out of here. I might sue you. >> Yeah. Yeah. Real bad.
01:22:29
>> Marcelo. >> No. >> We want to say thank you for coming on the show.
01:22:33
>> Yeah. >> It always happens like this. The ending. It comes out of nowhere.
01:22:35
>> No, it doesn't. You know why? >> You have a special, right? We
01:22:38
>> because we want to talk about the real [ __ ] >> Oh, okay. >> Your special's coming out. Yeah.
01:22:42
>> January 7th. >> Yeah. >> It's called >> American Boy.
01:22:45
>> American Boy. >> And the irony of that is staggering. >> That's what it's for.
01:22:48
>> Yeah. >> I know. I know. He's stepping on our >> I've seen some of it.
01:22:52
>> Not not the special, but I've seen some >> stand up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Looks great.
01:22:57
>> Thank you, man. >> Right. >> Um we're proud of you. >> Oh, man.
01:23:00
>> Yeah. >> He needed that, by the way. Used to say that. >> I do.
01:23:03
>> Uh >> I look up to you guys. You got me through the band. >> I know we did.
01:23:06
>> God bless. >> Um you're on the rise. >> Congratulations.
01:23:08
>> He's at the top. >> You're at the top. >> It's only down from here.
01:23:11
>> It's only down from here. >> But if God forbid you ever go back down,
01:23:16
>> right? >> Right. We'll be here. Well, you can't come back here if you do go down, but we
01:23:20
will be we'll be around. >> We'll be around. We will say hi. >> We'll say hello.
01:23:24
>> Yeah. Yeah. At a club or whatever. >> Everybody, please watch American Boy.
01:23:26
So, it's out right now. >> Yeah. Check it out now. Please go. Whatever you're doing right now, watch
01:23:30
it now. >> Thank you for being a bad friend. Yeah. Yeah.