00:00:00
You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two
00:00:07
are disgusting. Oh, you two or something. We're bad friends.
00:00:15
I go louder than your birthday boy. Birthday boy. Birthday boy
00:00:24
die soon. And more year
00:00:30
dad no girl die alone. Shoot my face shotgun
00:00:38
face. It was it was all good. You want to sing, dude? I can sing.
00:00:44
Let me do your life song. And he will not die alone. He'll have a
00:00:51
fulfilled life with a beautiful wife and a couple of kids. And they'll go fly a
00:00:58
kite down by the ocean. And one of his kids will walk. There's a lion. There's
00:01:03
a lion at the end of
00:01:09
What a birthday celebration. What a beautiful, beautiful. And let me say something. I appreciate everyone
00:01:14
showing up to my party. It was a part. So there uh there we rented a bowling alley. Yeah. in
00:01:19
Montros. Montros. Shout out to Montros Bowl, man. Yeah, it was an intimate little setting.
00:01:25
Awesome. Eight lanes. Yeah, there were some people I was like, why are you here? Well, let me guess who?
00:01:30
You know, but there most people are like, oh, pleasant surprises. There was a couple people that didn't
00:01:36
show up that I thought would show up and I think maybe it's Well, Paul, dude, it's too far, buddy.
00:01:41
It's not far at all. It was 15 minutes. I have my dog. You said bring the dog. No, we already had.
00:01:47
Yeah. Okay. And then who else? Um they it was funny because there was all
00:01:53
these different camps too. Mhm. Well, it was the Tiger Belly camp and the Bad Friends. Bad Friends camp, but then there was
00:01:58
also other pockets of things. There were other pockets of comics. You had a lot of younger comics. Yeah. Yeah. Younger comics. Open micers.
00:02:05
How was my speech? It was amazing. You called everyone an open micer. A lot of people that weren't open micers, he called open micers.
00:02:11
No, they were kind of open micy. I don't really I don't That's a subjective term, but So, and I did a speak. What did I say?
00:02:17
Did I Did I mention Who did I mention in my speech? Of course you. Did I mention you? You mentioned me, Kalila.
00:02:23
I was very sad. You mentioned me and Kalila and the bad Yeah, you mentioned bad friends though. Before Tiger Belly, which
00:02:28
That is true. Yeah. Why? Why? Well, it's by ranking. Yeah,
00:02:34
Kyla did a phenomenal job. Phenomeninous job. One of the most phenomenous jobs I've ever seen. And I
00:02:39
also met the big bad wolf. Oh, you did?
00:02:45
Jason, I will blow your house down, dude.
00:02:50
Yeah, dude. One of the nicest, coolest dudes. And he was over today, by the way. Yeah. Handsome.
00:02:55
But my point is is that great. Let me say the rankings of gifts. Okay. Gift ranking time.
00:03:01
Okay. Gift ranking time, dude. Um, and I
00:03:06
I'm going to say this in the most honest way possible, please. Okay. Not only was
00:03:12
this gift the best gift of the party, probably one of the best gifts I've ever
00:03:18
received in my life. Wow. And that's Jean Hong. He gave me these. No,
00:03:25
it Andrew. Andrew gave me something that was such a surprise out of left field. Right.
00:03:32
Here's what I want to be surprised at. You love a good surprise. Right. Number two, it's got to have
00:03:37
value. Mhm. Financial value matters to you. Yes. No. Sentimental value.
00:03:44
That's [ __ ] [ __ ] Yeah. Yeah. Hello. We bought We bought you $500 Louis
00:03:49
Vuitton glasses. You go, I want the expensive ones. Yeah. And you got me those. We did. We did. We went back and got
00:03:54
But here's the thing, okay? What you gave me was shocking. You didn't expect it.
00:04:00
It was the best gift I ever got. And can I tell people what it was? Of course you can. Yeah. He gave me um
00:04:07
I gave him his own home kit to make a Chinese water torture and it's got all the instructions. So good. You can do water boarding,
00:04:14
right? It's really cool. Yeah. It comes with a matt, you know, that Braveheart, you know what I mean? Thing where he died at the end, that
00:04:19
little, you know, slab, dude. Unroll that. I see an infomercial right now that's like make your own water boarding at
00:04:25
home. Yeah. Timmy does it. Yeah. And then bamboo. You know me because you know bamboo the little sh
00:04:32
like the tips. Yeah. You can stick it in the pink. Right in the tip tip. Tip tip. And anyway, tell them what I got you for real.
00:04:38
I have no idea what's going on, but um he got me um well, as everyone knows, I'm a big fan of Arsenal FC. It's a
00:04:45
soccer. It's your favorite soccer team. The shoes. The shoes are propping up the sign
00:04:51
below. The shoes are now the Arsenal shoes that I bought you. Let me see. They're propping up the sign.
00:04:58
They remain in the box. Oh, which is fine. Those are fine. This is fine. Yeah. this the gift you got me way
00:05:04
better. Well, yeah, obviously. So, he gave me um so um Arsenal FC, their biggest star of all time was a guy
00:05:11
named Tyionry. That's right. You got me a Tyrion um signed soccer card,
00:05:19
but it's a very a very exclusive card. Exclusive card. Hard to get. For some reason, you left the price tags
00:05:26
on them. I did not. Yeah, you did. Yeah, you did. I did not. I I I can take photos of it
00:05:31
right now and I can show you the price tags on it. Really? Yeah. On every single item there's a
00:05:36
price. I must have forgot to take those off. So you know it is real.
00:05:42
Yeah. Yeah. I must have forgot to take those out. Yeah. And in bold. You know what I mean?
00:05:48
Mhm. Oh, did you do you have a price machine at home? Like one of those sticker machines? I don't know cuz I Googled it.
00:05:53
Oh, you did? I didn't trust it. It's right about right. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. And then he got me an Ethan
00:06:00
Waneri rookie card. Now this kid is from the academy. He's only 19 years old. He
00:06:06
could be the next big thing. You think he might be one of the greatest Arsenal players of all time coming out? He's great.
00:06:12
That good. I mean, he's one of the youngest starters we've ever had aside from Max Dman. He was 16 or something when he
00:06:18
first played. How old is this new kid? What? Max Dman? No. How old is this new rookie? Now he's 19 or 20.
00:06:24
Wow. But he's 18. He's 18. This guy Wier Ethani. Yeah. Yeah. He's 18.
00:06:29
18 years old. And he's You think he's He's He was on the first team. He played for the first team at 16, 17 years old.
00:06:35
That's disgusting. We have a kid named Max Dman who debuted at 15 2 weeks 3 weeks ago.
00:06:42
He can't even drive a [ __ ] car. Yeah. And he's They've never inserted their, you know, genitals into other genitals.
00:06:50
You never know. I don't know how they don't know how. Use your personal story as a measure. Yeah. Excuse me. Well, that's how you joined
00:06:56
teams when you were a kid. Or they've never had caviar. Is that better? That's probably closer. Yeah. Yeah. They've never had caviar.
00:07:01
They've never had like, you know, snow beef. I love snow beef.
00:07:06
Love. You know, snow beef. I think I've had it with you. We have snow beef together. Snow beef, dude. But wait, the thing I got you that I'm
00:07:12
really interested in. And then you got me um a completely different packet of a set of cards.
00:07:17
Yeah. That I probably will never open. Well, here's the deal. I'm told, and I have to give some love to the truth of
00:07:23
this. our good friend helped me. Uh I went to was going to a store. I ran into a good friend of ours. Do you remember
00:07:29
who I ran into? Did you go with him to there or you just ran? I literally random random ran into him and I
00:07:34
There's no way. How were the odds? My hand of God. And I was like he was walking out of one store next door these
00:07:39
two cool I'll show you where they are. Okay. Collectible stores. And I was like I want to get a collectible for you. And
00:07:44
he's walking out with his buddy and I was like you have to be kidding me. Wow. And it's David Cho.
00:07:50
Yeah. And I was like dude what are you doing here? He's like, "What are you doing here?" I was like, "I'm coming to get a gift for Bobby." And I was like, "Are
00:07:56
you coming to the party?" That's why when I showed you his text, was he invited? Yeah. He didn't come. I showed you the text. He said, "My
00:08:02
kids, I have It's You know what? You I'm tired. You know what I'm tired of? Oh, God. What?
00:08:07
He has kids, man. I I'm tired of That's the excuse with anyone that has a kid. That's the
00:08:14
greatest excuse. I I I I don't have the information if they're sick, if they're dying, you know what I mean? If one of
00:08:20
them's in prison, well, the kid, this younger kid is in prison. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they have a dying toe,
00:08:25
right? There's nothing. I know. Itchy bones. They're nothing. Itchy bones. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Itchy bones
00:08:30
disease, you know? I don't know, right? It could just be like this is an excuse. I don't want to
00:08:36
drive all the way over there, so I'm just going to say kids. I think he really did couldn't because he was upset by it, but he helped me
00:08:41
pick this. No. All right. He He helped me pick it out and he said that box set. He goes,
00:08:46
"Bob's an addict. I'm an addict." He's like, "The thing I love about comic books and new card things is because
00:08:52
it's like an addict. It's an a it's an itch to scratch." Yeah, we're both addicts. And and by the way, he said he said in
00:08:59
that pack, you can choose to not open it, but in that pack could be a like one
00:09:05
of 10 card that's worth 10 grand. What's the card? It's It's You'll know when you open it
00:09:11
up because it'll have a It'll It'll have a special look to it of the of an arsenal. It'll It'll say the sticker on it. one of 10 or one of number on it.
00:09:19
He's like, "You should open it." He opens all of them. You don't have to. Yeah. But I think it's worth it
00:09:24
because that pack cuz the price tag was on it was
00:09:29
was 500. I think that's what it said. Yeah. $500 for just a packet of [ __ ]
00:09:35
But that's not the real price. You know that. I put fake prices on those. So, how much was the TRE one?
00:09:40
I think the Tier Enri card was like 36 bucks. 40. and the the the rookie card he gave me
00:09:46
for free. And that box set I think literally was 1999.
00:09:51
I think I spent like 65 bucks. Thank you.
00:09:56
Appreciate it. I really do appreciate it. No, it was I'm going to throw them in a [ __ ] No, it was more. You want me to throw them in a [ __ ]
00:10:02
fire? No. Stop it. Look at me right now. Yeah. I will throw them in a fire. Sure. I don't care. Are they the real prices?
00:10:08
No. No. I'm going to throw them in a fire. Do it. Okay. Cuz that's not worth anything. Henry one is don't do that.
00:10:17
Please don't do that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That one was not cheap. Please don't do that. Okay. But but is it the right Anyway, let's move on.
00:10:22
But the rookie card was free. I will say shout out. The guy was friends with Cho and he was like he's like you want to He's like can I give this to you to give
00:10:28
to Bobby as like an included gift? And I was well cuz I'd sp we'd spent enough money that he was like can I give you a free gift?
00:10:34
Wow that's a huge one. Well he was super ready. That's the most excited one exciting. Well he's also a big fan. So he was like
00:10:39
is this cool if I give you a gift to give to him? I was like that's [ __ ] awesome. He owns the store. So he was like, "I'm gonna give you a rookie
00:10:44
card." He goes, "Bobby, you'll know who it is." And I said, "Okay." So I put it in the thing. It's so good. It's awesome. It was, you know, the one card was like
00:10:52
a deep cut and it was like in my mind, I'm like, Andrew is doing research.
00:10:58
Yeah. You should just said that. He says, "I was being very mindful. I did some research." Well, I did research on where to go to
00:11:04
get a collectible that I was looking for for you. So that is true. But he helped me with the other side. All right. I'm going to go down to Did I try to go get a TR wreath for You
00:11:11
know what I really tried to buy for you? A signed jersey from TR. I don't want that. Oh, framed on your wall in your room.
00:11:16
I don't do that. You don't want that? No, I'm not like [ __ ] Well, then I'm glad I didn't buy it cuz like a Midwestern like this is my man
00:11:23
cave, dude. I'm alpha male, dude. Look, I got [ __ ] Troy Aken [ __ ] signed
00:11:28
whatever. Whatever. You know what I mean? I don't like that. God, you're such a [ __ ] in a deer head. I I shot that in the
00:11:34
woods with my father, grandfather, and father when I was 17 years old. You don't like those fans? No. So, you don't like
00:11:39
I love them. Okay. I'm just not that kind of guy. I'm beta. You're very beta. You're very sensitive
00:11:45
and soft. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I listen. You want to know the posters I have in my room?
00:11:50
Sure. I have a poster of Depes Mode. No. Peter Sers and Shirley Mlan together
00:11:57
framed. Right. Okay. I have a photo of um Brian Ferry singing. Okay. Okay. I have a photo of I have a really
00:12:04
cool cool Lou Reed one on on the street. Mhm. I have a photo of Tashira Mafoon in his
00:12:10
underwear doing a cheer. H Why? It's like a
00:12:15
Is that at a party or is a posed photo? It was at a party. It was just like It was a candid photo of him partying.
00:12:21
Yeah, that's kind of cool. Yeah. What else do I have? A couple of movie posters, but you know, I'm not You know, I'm not You know, I have like a
00:12:26
deer head on my wall. I don't think that's the I have a dream catcher. Oh, that's close to a deer head.
00:12:32
Yeah. Yeah, I have a little dream catcher. Has it caught any of your dreams? All of them. Really? saving money. Have any of them come true?
00:12:38
I hopefully not cuz they're all nightmares. Wait, really? Oh, yeah. I have nightmares. Isn't dream catcher supposed to encompass your catch your dreams and put
00:12:45
them back out into the world? Isn't that what I think it catches nightmares? Well, I'm pretty sure Yeah. catches them before it goes into your head like it
00:12:50
You should know this, dude. You were on reservation dogs. Did you not pay attention to anything
00:12:55
that those guys said? I never even shook their hands. You never shook one hand? No, I'm kidding. No, he's kidding.
00:13:00
I love them. Rank your gifts. Here we go. Let's get a gift. All right, so number one, Andrew. Thank you.
00:13:06
Number two, I have to say, Gene Hong, what did he get you? He got me um those um AirPods that
00:13:11
translate language. No, the AirPod 3s that just came out. Yeah. Yeah. Did you you try it? No, they're still in the box.
00:13:17
You're never going to use it. When I go to [ __ ] Mongolia or something, I would. When you going? I I go to Mongal every year.
00:13:23
Every year you go. Is that where you go in? There's a hut out there, dude. I don't think you're going to use that. And I love eagles.
00:13:28
Big Mongolian eagles. Yeah. Yeah. I love Mongolian eagles. And their beef is good. They're delic Well, the Mongolian eagle meat is good.
00:13:34
That's what Mongolian beef is, isn't it? Yeah. I have one of those skyow I have one of those hand you know those eagle
00:13:40
hand mut mittens. It comes everyone needs one of those. Absolutely. Right. Right. You know what? I I also
00:13:46
have um you know how the [ __ ] fight [ __ ] fighting the [ __ ] the cat the little roosters.
00:13:51
I have the little knives and the elbows. Oh, the elbow knives. I have a collection of those. I collect weird things. But my point is is this. Let's rank down the [ __ ] gifts.
00:13:58
Me Gene Hong, right? And then um what did he give you again? The AirPod pods.
00:14:03
It's not that good. I mean, it's nice, but it's okay. Now, that being said, you now it's going
00:14:09
to go down. Way down. Yeah. Well, so three was um I have to say Sarah Highland, my ex-girlfriend.
00:14:16
Yeah. She got me some weird [ __ ] She's She's cool. That's why she she got me this weird Japanese. It's
00:14:23
like a vintage uh toy from the 70s. Wow. Right. And it's just like this weird
00:14:29
Asian doll. She goes, "Let me let me take it out." She takes it out and there's a button and it goes, "Hi,
00:14:35
a little tiny Asian doll." Yeah. As a karate that goes up to number one. Yeah. That's great. That's pretty cool.
00:14:40
That's really cool. Yeah. And then um but it's a little scary. It sounds a little It's a little scary. Her gifts. Um
00:14:46
and then just give me dead last now. You can't go four, five, six. Okay. I'll I'll give you dead last. Uh
00:14:52
and it's it's nothing against him. It must be It must be.
00:14:58
So Sandy Danto Oh wow. He shows up two hours late. He was pretty late, but he I think he had his kid with his thing with his
00:15:04
kids. Oh, really? Kids again? Well, he showed up. Yeah, that's big. Itchy bones. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my kids have
00:15:11
shivering eye disease. That happened. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to call I'm going to call Sy's uh kid I'm going to call Sandy itchy
00:15:17
bones from now on. So he goes, "Here, dude. Happy birthday. I know you like these." What is it?
00:15:22
And I could tell it's dream water. You know what dream water is? No clue. Dream water is what you go to the
00:15:28
airport and you can, you know, you go to like any of those stores. Yeah. And it's a, you know, melatoniny drink,
00:15:34
right? Like a Yeah. Right. And it came in a box, but the box was so tattered and torn that I knew
00:15:41
that he probably bought it 10 years ago on the road. Never never gave it to anybody. Never gave it to anybody. He's like, I
00:15:46
know you like these. It was like the most tattered I've ever seen any box. You mean it's like brown and you know
00:15:52
what I mean? I love that. And I was like sat in his car and I just like, "Okay, cool, man. Thanks."
00:15:58
Yeah. What did he say when he gave it to you? Sorry, man. Happy birthday, man. Birthday, dude. He had he told me he had
00:16:03
20 tattoos and he never used to have tattoos. I said, "When did this happen?" He goes, "Honestly, dude, I just started
00:16:10
getting them. My wife and I wanted to get tattoos and then overnight he goes, I filled my arms." His arms are filled with tattoos.
00:16:15
I've never seen him. He had so many tattoos. He's always wearing like long sleeve shirts. I know, but I was shocked. Wow. I think it's time for me. By the way, I
00:16:21
had a I had a daydream the other day. Did you get a tattoo? I think it's time. I I think a neck one is time.
00:16:27
That's insane. Yeah. Yeah. That's insane. I'm not going to say very funny guy. Always long sleeves, though.
00:16:32
So, he always suit coat. Look at suits. He dresses so great, though. Yeah. The kid's got great style.
00:16:38
He's got great style. Fancy. You don't have a tattoo either. No. Isn't it time to get a tattoo? No. Come on.
00:16:43
Yeah. What are you going to get? I don't know. You have to dictate it. Well, I mean, you love the Bears.
00:16:49
Not that much. Oh, let me let me It's got I don't know. A cute just golf club.
00:16:56
Just one little Yeah, but right here. Yeah. Smaller even right there on my And just thin like thin lines. That's
00:17:02
what I thin lines. Yeah. Yeah. Like your Arsenal. Uh I don't have an Arsenal one. I'm going to get How about this? Cuz I'm
00:17:07
I thought you had an Arsenal. I want to get one. I want to get an Arsenal here. What are you going to get? The the cannon. Yeah.
00:17:12
Yeah. And then you get a golf club. We'll go No. Yeah. That's pretty cool. That kind of looks like a scar though.
00:17:19
Yeah, it looks like a scar. Yeah. Uh, too thick. That's also poorly done. Yeah. Yeah. What does that say? Papa. That's a
00:17:25
little creepy. It's a little creepy. Can I write what if I write daddy with a golf club? That's for you. A golf club on your shoulder. Daddy. Danny.
00:17:33
Something. What about your wife? Something about your wife or something? Like a just like a like something that reminds me of her on me?
00:17:38
Yeah. Or a little I'm trying to think of what that Do you have a Do you have like a little funny thing that you call her like
00:17:44
pumpkins or I do. Yeah. What is it? I have a nickname. What's a nickname? I'm not saying what's up with this guy that killed this
00:17:51
girl and they found her in the trunk. I wouldn't even know. It's so dark, dude. This guy named David.
00:17:57
He's a rapper in LA. They found his Tesla in a dumpy yard. I heard. And a year went by. He They found the
00:18:05
body of this girl he killed a year ago. It was s She was sitting in a car for that long. So where was the Tesla? In his driveway?
00:18:11
No, it was in a dumpy yard. In a junkyard, right? Well, but they also interviewed the neighborhood like the neighborhoods that he lived And they're like, "Oh, my dog
00:18:16
would always like sniff at the car." And there was a foul stench. So, he kept her in the car for a long enough time. Then, he turned it into
00:18:22
like a empoundment lot and it just sat there and what a what what a bad what what a
00:18:28
bad criminal. Well, let's not kill Let's not Don't do that. But I mean, but if you're going to But if you're going to think it
00:18:35
through Yeah. Yeah. Like, you know, you got to know, you know, like the wolf in um
00:18:40
in in Piction. Yeah. Yeah. You need one of those guys. You call that guy. They take the Tesla and they crush it in that
00:18:46
the [ __ ] crushing machine and it's gone forever. It's gone forever. No, this guy didn't do his due diligence, I guess. Yeah, you just leave it there.
00:18:53
Also, I listen to some of his music cuz I'm not familiar with them. Good. Um, no, it's bad. So, they should get him.
00:18:58
I got to get him. It's terrible. [ __ ] Yeah. What would you do though? How would you do it if I was going to kill you? No. No. But how to hide a body?
00:19:05
H Well, you've obviously thought about it. So, do you want to d No, that's why I'm asking now. I've never even thought about it,
00:19:11
you know. So, you know, what does one do? Is there Okay, let's say here's a scenario. Someone attacks someone you love.
00:19:18
Which one? Someone hurts your mom now. Oh my god, forget it. Now you're a renegade and you go to Arizona to kill this person. You find
00:19:24
him. You kill them. You call me. Well, my brother would kill him first. He How is he going to get a ride to Arizona?
00:19:29
He has a car. It's never going to make it. I've seen that thing. It's brand new. I bought him one. Wait, I just bought him a new car.
00:19:35
Yes. Why'd you do that? He's my brother. You buy me a new car. You have name the cars you have. All
00:19:41
right. All right. Jay Lento, you could buy me and Andreas a new car. Mhm. Yeah. No, you don't. You know what? Because that wasn't on.
00:19:47
All right. And then to sign this, I'm You know how annoying that is? I actually said to him, I go, "You're going to need a new car at some point." He goes, "I'm going to ride it till the
00:19:53
wheels fall off." His car has 270,000 miles. Oh my god. But it still runs well. Even though the engine light, check engine light.
00:19:58
But it smells in there cuz those cloth seats after like 20 years. They There's so much stuff in those seat. How many times have you hooked up in that car?
00:20:05
I don't hook up in my car. You've never hooked up in your car when you're in high school? You never hooked up in that car? I don't really hook up with people in high school.
00:20:10
Mone. You never hooked up in a car in high school. You've never hooked up in the backseat of a car. I have, but not my car.
00:20:18
You're a [ __ ] dude. You're a [ __ ] dude. You're weak. You go in their car. I have be a gentleman.
00:20:24
Whose car? Uh there's one girl at after we saw at the Americana. It's so funny to [ __ ] Whimo.
00:20:30
Someone was the other day doing bad behavior. Please. You're going to get come all over the
00:20:36
streets. Stop policy rules. Stop. Stop. Stop. Yeah. So, let's go
00:20:42
back to He gives her criticism. So, my my mom use your hands a little less.
00:20:47
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00:23:07
Um, my mother gets murdered. Your mother gets murdered and you call me and you go, "Dude, we need to we need to take care of this guy." I I of course
00:23:14
already already I wouldn't do that. You wouldn't call me. No witnesses. You would. No connection. I don't want to connect
00:23:20
you to the crime. I I' If somebody hurt your mother, I would You would never help me, dude. What are you talking about? Is that
00:23:26
real? You really believe that murder? I don't, as a friend, I wouldn't want you an accessory to murder.
00:23:33
Well, if your mom is dead and you're going to go on a hunt to kill this person, this show's over, so I might as well [ __ ] I'm going to get away with
00:23:40
it. You're never going to get away. I'm going to Google it. Is that GBT head? You're going to end up like David.
00:23:45
No, I'm David. No, you're going to end up just like one step ahead of David. Really? He can dance. Yeah. Yeah.
00:23:50
You have no steps. He's got steps. Yeah. Yeah. Give me what you're going to do then. The guy that you go to kill. Okay. Give me the scenario because I
00:23:56
don't even know what the scenario is. Some random guy. Here's what happened. Your mom Your mom was playing Py Gal and she took the
00:24:03
table. She's good at Py Gal. She's killer at Py Gal. And there's a guy there. Well, then I have some questions. Huh? Is it an underground tournament?
00:24:09
No, no. This is public. It's at It's at It's at um Talking Stick, the casino right near your mom's house. She's at the stock talking stick. She's
00:24:16
by herself. She's in a room at a at a Py table. It's late at night. There's two or three people at the table. Who are the people that run the table?
00:24:23
Uh, there's a short um there's a short little tiny black guy who's who's really good in his
00:24:28
be Puerto Rican. There's a short little tiny Puerto Rican guy who's really good. He's in his mid60. Now it's fun. Now it's fun.
00:24:33
He's divorced. The second guy. Okay. Then there's another man there, a mysterious man.
00:24:38
White. Got to be a white guy who just moved to Arizona.
00:24:43
He has underdeveloped hand. Both of his hands? No, just one of them. One of his hands is a claw hand. Not just claw. It's just like a nub with
00:24:50
just two fingers like like peace. And and they call him peace cuz every time, you know, he weighs
00:24:56
people think he's doing the peace. Yeah. Peace, man. But he's just saying hi and bye. Okay. I like it. I like it. He's got one leg much longer than the
00:25:02
other one. So it's hard for him to Whoa. Yeah. He kind of walks a little.
00:25:07
People look like Well, he's got good rhythm to be honest. Yeah. That's why he's the people can see this guy coming too.
00:25:12
Yeah. Yeah. You can hear his shoe. Yeah. Yeah. And so this guy has it out for your mom because she's killing the table. He's
00:25:18
got his mortgage on the line. He loses it. He's waiting out for your mom by the car. He's smoking a cigarette
00:25:23
and he thinks, "I'm going to rob her cuz she killed it tonight. She made $50,000 cash." So he
00:25:28
This is making me so angry already. He tries to rob your mom, but he acts Oh my god. This makes me so angry. I know. What are you going to do?
00:25:34
Oh my goodness. Well, I'm setting you up. What do you do now? Did she die? Yeah.
00:25:40
How? He pushed her. She fell. Oh, that's it. She's 100 years old. Oh, yeah. Okay. And
00:25:47
then so how do I know about it? It breaks on the news in Arizona an an elderly
00:25:56
W456. Uh welcome back to the evening hour. Tonight a woman was killed out at
00:26:01
talking watching it. An elderly Chinese woman was killed tonight at talking stick after playing py. Her name
00:26:10
Bobby Mom.
00:26:18
[Laughter] That's good.
00:26:23
She was murdered. She was killed in the parking lot of the Talking Stick Casino. This is the This is the suspect on the
00:26:29
run. Photo up. You see where he is? He's somewhere in rural northern Arizona. What's the photo look like?
00:26:35
He's leaning. Well, it's peace. We know what he looks like. Yeah. Yeah, he's seen last in Flagstaff, Northern Arizona. His name is Doug Peace McGovern.
00:26:42
Doug Peace McGovern. If you have any information about him, please call the Arizona hotline. The first thing I would do is call my
00:26:48
brother, not you. Wow. Cuz you're not going to help me murder. I I think you're I think you're you're
00:26:55
grossly underestimating what I would do for you. I really think you are. But I bet that's fine.
00:27:01
No. No. Don't change your [ __ ] I'll call you. If you don't want my help when you kill somebody, don't [ __ ] call me.
00:27:06
No. go to prison with me cuz we could do the pod in prison. Really bad friends.
00:27:11
Bad friends live from LA County Jail. Yeah. Yeah. And um in the middle of the show, some guy's
00:27:17
like, "You boys ready for your ready for lunch?" I'm like, "Yes, sir." Yeah. I call you. Ding ding. Ring ring.
00:27:24
Hey, Bob. What's going on? Are you okay? My mother was murdered. My mother was
00:27:30
murdered. Your mother was murdered? Yeah. It was just on KT. Whatever the Yeah. Oh my god. I'm so sorry.
00:27:37
I think his name is Peace McG McGovern or something. Are you telling me Peace McGovern did
00:27:42
this? How do you [ __ ] do you know Peace McGovern, dude? He killed my mother.
00:27:48
That's it. I'm coming over. Yeah. What did he do to your mother? Oh, yeah. I remember.
00:27:54
I hung up. I know. But whenever you hang up talking No, I keep talking because you
00:28:00
know you hang up too early. I do and I want to I want to keep talking. Yeah. I spent hours after you hang up
00:28:05
talking. I hang up so fast on everybody. I always love to hang up fast. Listen, what are you doing now? You're you're calling
00:28:10
your brother. Be real. You call your brother. I call my brother and my brother already is going to be livid. Like out of his
00:28:17
mind. Yeah, of course. Somebody pick me up. He picks me up. We'll go straight to Arizona.
00:28:22
You going to drive or fly? How if the cops can't find him, how am I going to find him? You have to take revenge in your own hands. Have you never seen Taken? Have
00:28:29
you never seen Yeah, but I don't know how to do any of that. I show up to this crime scene
00:28:34
in the back of what? Chopsticks Casino. What is it? Chopsticks Casino. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm wandering
00:28:39
around. I And there's the the yellow tape. Yeah. You know, my brother and I have flashlights.
00:28:45
You come Well, it's the lights are on. But I mean, you can have flashlights if you want. We have to have flashlights. Well, the lights are on.
00:28:50
I have to have a pad. You should have a pad. A legal notepad. Yeah. Yeah. And um I'm dressed like um
00:28:57
you right now. You're not changing. I have to change. You do? Yeah. You're going to buy a suit? No, I have to change like Sherlock
00:29:03
Holmes, like 17th century English attire. Beautiful. Hello. Hello. I'm here. You know what I mean?
00:29:09
We have notes, flashlights, and then it's like, what am I? I don't have the technology to get fingerprints that.
00:29:17
Let's say that you did find him. Okay, good. How do you kill him? Guy that kills your mom. How do you find him?
00:29:23
We find out his address. Well, how do you kill him? Oh my god. What do you do? Well, first of all, I'm going to have to have a conversation
00:29:29
with my brother. You going to use that Chinese water torture kit? I buy I finally come to use. I was saying to my brother, Steve, all
00:29:35
right, I know you're going to I don't know why you have the machete, but um I go, we want to torture him.
00:29:41
Yeah, you got to slowly torture him. Yeah. Don't just go swinging. No. You know what I mean? No. So, what we'll do is we'll um Well, I'll
00:29:48
tell you what we'll do. We'll capture him. Yeah. You got him. I'm going to rent a warehouse somewhere
00:29:54
in Gilbert, Arizona. That's a big I mean right now the prices are through the roof but yeah it's fine.
00:29:59
I would spend every dollar that I have How many square feet are we talking in this warehouse?
00:30:05
I don't know about square feet but probably 500 by 9 500 ft by 9 ft.
00:30:10
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. It's an odd layout but I do like it. It's very narrow. It's a long hallway.
00:30:16
500 by 9 is a long hallway. Yeah. Cuz there's going to be a lot of running back and Oh, you're going to make him run back and forth. This is actually
00:30:22
very smart. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So 500 by 9 500 by If anybody can please draw this up this
00:30:30
torture chamber that's 500 ft by 9 ft also actually very intelligent because
00:30:35
the 500 looks like there's hope down the road but the 9 ft is that's you know what I mean? Yeah. So he can he's got a little bit of
00:30:41
space. Well no but the 500 fluctuates gets shorter as we No. It's like one of those remember like
00:30:47
in Star Wars that the the trash can machine the Oh the closes in like that. That's what
00:30:53
it kind of looks like. Yeah. Yeah. closes in and out. That would give you nightmares. Nightmares, dude.
00:30:58
Like a long and neon lights, no windows, though. And so what we'll have at the very end
00:31:03
of that hallway, right, is a surg surgical table. Oh, a surgical table.
00:31:08
I'm going to What? I I I I I don't get it yet, but I'm a surgical table.
00:31:15
I didn't get it. So, I was like, "Ooh, yeah, that's good. Why is that there?" Yeah. I'm no doctor, right? Neither.
00:31:22
But I will hire a black market, right? Surgeon. A surgeon. Okay. Sure.
00:31:27
And what we're going to I'm going to say to this guy, I go, I'm going to pay you $1 million.
00:31:32
What? You a million bucks to do what? You'll see. Oh, right. We're going to knock him out, right? And we're going to give him
00:31:39
female genitalia. Oh, free. For free.
00:31:45
For free. For free. Not that. But he probably doesn't want it. Maybe he does. How funny. He wakes up.
00:31:50
He's like, "Perfect." Yeah. It's exactly what I needed. Wow. I've been gambling so I can get the
00:31:56
surgery. It is the only reason I I gamble. I should have killed your mom. Well, I'm glad I killed your mom because now I get this. Now I have what I want.
00:32:02
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so you're going to remove his genitals. I think you make him genitalless as a
00:32:08
whole. He has nothing like a Barbie thing. He has Barbie's a Kendall, right? Or you can put anything as a genital replacement.
00:32:14
What could you put in place? Or what's No, that's good. But you know what's worse? M you give him no openings,
00:32:21
right? Oh, I just stitch him up. Right. So the pee and the poo, it just gathers inside his mouth.
00:32:26
Stitch him up. Stitch him up. Yeah. Yeah. And he just bloats into this poopy. It's a good horror movie.
00:32:33
Stitch him up. The beginning of nothing, man. Stitch him up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We have to force feed him. Well, yeah. A tube. And you blend it
00:32:39
through the throat. Right. Right. Tube wet throat. Can you imagine this doctor's like You
00:32:45
guys got me doing way too much. the doctor. No, he'll leave after the surgery. I'm a black market doctor, but I have other stuff to do.
00:32:51
Just this is what I would say to him. Dr. Malo Mamalo. Yeah. Malalo.
00:32:56
Mamalo. Dr. Malalo. Dr. Mamalo. Where is he from? What? Dr. Mamalo. Somewhere in the eastern northern
00:33:03
region. I'll tell you that right. Somewhere northeast. From a different place. Dr. Malalo.
00:33:08
Yeah. Yeah. And I say just put the put the tube in. I know you did the bottom
00:33:13
surgery. Thank you for that, but thank you so much. Here's the money. Right. She put the tube in. Just let me know how to put the food into the tube.
00:33:20
How funny. When it breaks, you have to call him. You're like, "Dr. Malo." Yeah. Yeah. The tube is un disconnected. I You're going to have to come back to
00:33:26
Yeah. And so then once he then we'll just He leaves and then my brother and I for like a week
00:33:31
we'll just be feeding him. Wow. And watching until he pops. Eventually he's going to pop. He'll pop. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:33:37
You going to film the pop and put it on IG? Tik Tok. Yeah. Yeah. Tik Tok that. Yeah. Yeah. But what do you think of
00:33:42
that? I think it's a great torture and I would support you. Unfortunately, I mean, all right, let's go to you now. If somebody killed my mom,
00:33:48
can I give you the scenario? Go for it. I know you're already building one up, right? Um, your your stepdad's out of
00:33:55
town. Business trip. Yeah. Well, he's retired, but yeah, I got it. He goes back. He gets He unretires. Yeah, he unretires. He gets a job he
00:34:02
can't refuse. He gets What is the job? What's he doing? It's some sort of repair job. I know
00:34:08
he's not good at that. He loves repairs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it's like a plumbing, lighting, electrical. big electrical
00:34:14
guy. Yeah, it's a bunch of stuff. And they're like, "You go, we'll give you 500 grand. Jump back.
00:34:20
One day of work, we'll fly you out first class." Wow. Got to do it. But here's the tick kicker. Uhoh. It's not even real.
00:34:26
It's the killer luring your stepdad away. It's a ruse. It's a ruse. Wow. He shows up in Louisville airport,
00:34:33
right? No one's there to pick him up, right? Meanwhile, your mom's alone at the house.
00:34:38
Oh, no. Yeah. And there's a man that comes in. What is he doing? He's doing He's
00:34:44
dancing. I'll tell you that. He dances into the house. I'm so sorry to say. It's pretty bold.
00:34:49
Yeah, he does like a MC Hammer dance. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.
00:34:56
Yeah. Yeah. And he has a tomahawk.
00:35:01
Is he native or is this is No. Oh, this really from Dances with Wolves. Very disrespectful. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's very
00:35:07
disrespectful. Right. That's what cultural cultural cultural appropriate murder. cultural inappropriate murder,
00:35:13
right? And he unfortunately throws the tomahawk at your mom's leg. Mom's leg
00:35:19
just slices right off. She's screaming. Then he makes a makeshift tourniquet.
00:35:24
Oh no. And then so she doesn't bleed out. Oh, he helps her. Has to do more torture. Oh no.
00:35:31
Then he has some sort of medieval mallet. My guy just pushed your mom down. My My
00:35:37
Your mom just broke her hip and died in the parking garage at talking. I'm sorry. Jesus, get it over with.
00:35:42
All right, just let me do one last part. No. Anyway, mallet in the head. Anyway, um so then
00:35:50
you get a call from the cop uh um Chicago cops. Hey, hey, we found a murder over there in
00:35:56
your mother's house. What would you do? Your fatter's out of town. We got to go though. We got dinner.
00:36:01
What would you do? I mean, would I definitely would take it into my own hands if anybody hurt
00:36:07
anybody in my family. You would. It'd be it'd be if you caught the guy, what would we do? Let's just get to the catch. So, catch you got to catch first. You
00:36:12
can't kill cuz kill is too weak. You got to catch the guy. And look what I did. I know. You know what I mean? So, I'd cut off his feet. So, he
00:36:19
Oh, that's always a good one. Little nubby guy. Yeah. Yeah. And then I'd slow every single day goes by, I'd cut off each finger. So, each
00:36:24
finger slowly gets cut off. Can I Can I have all the limbs? You Yeah, I'll save them for you. It's arts and crafts.
00:36:31
Yeah. Yeah. Bobb's waiting. I'll do something waiting on a FedEx. He's like, Andrew's FedEx is still not here. Yeah. Yeah.
00:36:36
I did two day. Why would you ship me limbs today? I didn't. I couldn't. Same day was expensive. Oh, so um um packet of ice.
00:36:44
And then and here's what I do. Cut off his little fing Oh, a packet of ice. I cut off his little cut off a finger a day. Cut off his feet. So he's he's got
00:36:49
nubbies. And then eyes gone. That's always good. Eyes absolutely gone.
00:36:54
How do you put them out? With a spoon. Ooh. Hot spoon. Hot stove spoon. That's good.
00:36:59
Hot stove spoon. Hot stove spoon. Scoop it right out. Scoop them out. Do you want the eyes or should I throw them away?
00:37:05
Keep the eyes. Keep I'll keep the eyes. Hot hot hot. Oh, an ice cream scooper. Ice cream scooper is better. It's perfect.
00:37:11
And then you fill it with pistachio ice cream. Each of his eyes is pistachio ice cream.
00:37:16
I'm just throwing it out there. Well, in case I do rocky road pistachio, right? Yeah. Oh my god. So good. Yeah.
00:37:22
And then, you know, he'd be freaking be like, "What the fuck?" You mean I have a drip. It would be so itchy.
00:37:28
Itchy and and just the coldness of the ice cream in his sockets and he can't itch it out cuz his nubs
00:37:33
can't. And then I And then I have to cut out his tongue. So, he really can't say much. Keep the tongue. Nope. Cut it gone. He can't say
00:37:38
anything. And here's what I do. Ship that. I'm shipping the tongue. And then I'm gonna get a tattoo artist. One of the best in the world. Yeah. I'm gonna get
00:37:44
like Dr. Woo or somebody incredible. Yeah. You know, Kon D maybe. Sure. Kefon D. And they're going to
00:37:49
tattoo all over his chest an unbelievable amount of racial epithets. Like, you know, like a
00:37:55
swastika, the n-word all over him. Just like the most foul stuff all over his body.
00:38:00
I hate blacks. Right on his chest. You could go further. You can.
00:38:07
And then I'm going to drop him off like in Die Hard. Right. Just like that. So he has no way to speak or walk or talk
00:38:13
tell everybody what's going on. And I'm going to drop him off in the middle of the worst neighborhood in the world that
00:38:18
I can find and let them eat him alive slowly but surely. Oh, he'll never make it out. But I'm also
00:38:25
I'm also not killing him. And here's why. Why? Because you want you want someone to be able to have vengeance. Cuz then that's
00:38:31
a good movie. That's a good second movie. If he comes back for me now, it's a film. Well, well, he has no eyes.
00:38:37
They thought they killed me. And there's no nubs on his feet. Nubs on his feet. They thought they killed me.
00:38:42
Wow. I seek revenge. Imagine if you tongueless. Yeah. And he comes back for me. Yeah.
00:38:47
That's another That's a second movie. Like old boy. Just like Old Boy. Old boy. Just like Old Boy. Wow. What's a good idea, dude?
00:38:54
We got really dark and deep there. I'm so sorry. Me, too. I hope no one ever hurts anybody that we love. No, but we'll never do that.
00:39:00
But we will kill you if you mess with our mom. Yeah. Just I mean but I think I think people can relate. I think that's a no-go.
00:39:06
Your mom is it's the one you can't touch the mom. Dad fine. Dad. Yeah. Dad.
00:39:13
Yeah. No. No one. Sibling is bad too. But just something about your mom cuz it's your mom. It's your mommy.
00:39:19
Oh my. The helplessness. My mom's 80 and she's just laying there. You know
00:39:25
what I mean? Oh. Alone. Oh my god. It makes me so angry. Oh, there she is. Oh, there she is. A sweet, sweet lady.
00:39:31
Yes. What a sweet lady. Okay, good. Put it Hold on. Look. Pull that up again. Is Was there two cameras taking pictures
00:39:37
of her? What do you mean? Well, she's looking one way and then the other way. It feels like there was two cameras.
00:39:43
Okay. She didn't know which camera to look at is what it kind of Can I tell you Can I tell you something? So, one camera was dead on the other one
00:39:48
was to the left. Can I tell you something? This is
00:39:53
something you don't know. And I can call your mom, right? So, when my mom was All right. Can I be honest?
00:39:58
You started that whole war 3 years ago. So my mother when she was seven or eight years old, right, she had chronic
00:40:04
pneumonia. Okay. She she she got pneumonia all the time. Yeah. No, but she had this one sickness
00:40:09
where her left eye the pupil went all the way so you couldn't even see it.
00:40:15
It What do you mean the pupil went like out of like it was it [ __ ] her up by her face so bad she went her eye went into her
00:40:21
[ __ ] what? Yeah. It was like that when she moved to America, but also growing up in Korea.
00:40:26
That's why it's the best country in the world. They're fixed now almost. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, um when she um as a kid was
00:40:34
teased and bullied because of that eye, she was Yeah. Yeah. Like chronically. It was bad.
00:40:39
Well, thanks. I'm glad it's at the crux of And then I know. And then let me finish. Right. She comes to America and
00:40:46
my dad had a little bit of money and when she met him, he got those that eye fixed. He said, "I want to fix your eye."
00:40:51
Yeah. So, that's now the result of it. You can make fun of her all you want. I do. Yeah.
00:40:56
I know. But, you know, Well, you make fun of me, too. You make fun of my mom, too. Yeah, but your mom's perfect. That's exactly right.
00:41:02
Yeah. No, your mom your mom your mom got it all fixed out and I'm glad that it No, but you still make fun of her, right? And it's [ __ ] crazy.
00:41:08
Well, I have to. It's insane. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have to. I'm mom all the time. In fact, in fact, I go out in public
00:41:15
probably 10 times a day that's been mentioned. And then you got to go right that but your face is not really that
00:41:20
happy. Your eye look at that. You're like, "Good." I get it. I get it every day. I didn't
00:41:26
know when I That's not your mom. By proxy it is and I love her so I love her dearly.
00:41:34
Yeah. Anyway, I can't believe you never told me that story about your mom's eye. Unless it's [ __ ] [ __ ] It's not [ __ ] That's real.
00:41:40
You do [ __ ] stuff like that. It's 100% real that that happened. Uh I mean it's very traumatic for her.
00:41:46
Well, it's terrible then. Why didn't you say that when we started joking about it years ago? Cuz we're a comedy show and I thought you meant well. But now you keep digging
00:41:52
and digging at my eye. He brings up the photo that Yeah. Yeah. And you're like, "Look at that eye." One away. And I'm
00:41:58
just telling you, D. Well, we love your mother. I'm the one that flew her out to see you. Yeah. Bring in a student. Let's see if we got a student that we want to chat with.
00:42:06
Rocket money. The amount of subscriptions that we had you cancel through this company is actually very laughable.
00:42:11
I had oatmeal. An oatmeal subscription. Yeah. I swear to God. I had oatmeal coming for months at like
00:42:18
nine months in a row stacked, right? And I had to go to Rocket Money. And that's where I found the the discrepancy. the
00:42:25
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That's true classic.com/badfriends. This look like you could be my little sister. Yeah, you could be your daughter.
00:44:27
We have the Weasley jeans. Not my daughter. She's [ __ ] 20 years old. Yeah, you're 40. [ __ ] I am.
00:44:34
Yeah, you could have had her when you were 20. 22? I'm 42. Yeah. Yeah. [ __ ] dude. You could have How old are
00:44:39
you? 21. Wow. That could have been my kid. Yeah. Your daughter. It could have been my daughter. Yeah. Where's your Do you Do Do you know your
00:44:45
mom and dad? I do know them. Okay. Thank God. You want to um talk closer into the mic
00:44:50
and put You want the earphones on or Yeah. This is Quinnipiac, isn't it? Quinnipic. Quinnipiac. What' you go to Quinnipak for? Media studies or something?
00:44:57
Film. Film. Yeah. You want to be a director? No. Okay. Actress? No. No. Actually, writer?
00:45:02
No. Keep guessing. Producer? No. Rigger? No. Keep going. What' you call her? A rigger. Sorry.
00:45:07
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, no. What? You can't rigger? You don't know what a rigger is? You rig. You don't know [ __ ] rigger. Yeah. A
00:45:13
grip. No, you want to be Oh. Oh, I know. I do know
00:45:18
what wardrobe. No. Makeup. You guys are missing like the other big one. I feel like you're getting
00:45:24
producer, writer, director, actor. Huh? Editor.
00:45:29
Editor. Oh my. That was a good one. It's funny cuz we don't value them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:45:34
He's He is You want to edit things? That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. They're the best. So, you don't mind being locked up in a small dark room?
00:45:40
No. I prefer it. I like when they like everyone goes on set and they like deal with all the chaos and then they send it to me and then I sit by myself and I do
00:45:46
it. You like that? You like I prefer that. Yeah. What's your name? Emma. Emma. Emma. Emma is here. You're from Connecticut?
00:45:52
I'm from Boston. Boston, Massachusetts. Boston, Connecticut. Boston, Connecticut. She was from Boston, but goes to Quinnipak in Connecticut, which
00:45:59
we visited. Your beautiful campus. Yes. It's lovely. It's a nice Yeah, that's all right. What do you think of LA? What do you think of LA? So, Emma, you um you you
00:46:07
have you gone to any nice restaurants? Have you experienced LA at all in a in a fun way? Like yes, but no. We've explored
00:46:13
downtown a lot. We've gone to all the touristy areas and my internship is in Beverly Hills. So like that's the only
00:46:19
nice part that I've seen. Didn't I give one of your students money so they can have dinner? I think we're going to do that. I think
00:46:24
I might do that tonight. You know what I mean? Yeah. They keep coming because as a group they should. They know you might give them money. Yeah. Yeah.
00:46:30
Emma, so the dream is to be an editor and and do you know that this guy edits
00:46:35
this show, this little the fancy, and he does a very good job. Do you wa Have you ever seen this show before? I've seen parts of it. Yeah.
00:46:41
Yeah. Part of it. That means Tik Tok. Yes. That I know what that means. That means Tik Tok. We're big with kids on Tik Tok.
00:46:46
Yeah. It's like I don't have the attention span to watch like pieces. Right. Well, you're an editor, so you spend the time watching other [ __ ]
00:46:53
Exactly. I'm the same, too. I don't watch whole things, including this show. You watch? I've never seen the show.
00:46:59
But that's not You do watch whole things. You watch films all the time. Yeah, but if I'm not a part of it, I'll watch it.
00:47:04
Right. She's not a part of this. The [ __ ] are you talking about? Yeah, but young people her age don't watch
00:47:09
anything anymore now. Yeah. Okay. They don't like anything. You don't watch film. I like I do, but I feel like films are
00:47:15
getting longer. See? Oh my god. They don't want to watch anything. What are you talking about? And they're actually probably getting
00:47:21
shorter. I bet you like they feel like they're getting shorter. The popular ones lately have been Have you seen Dr. Javago? That's like
00:47:27
four hours long. They're getting statistically they're getting longer on average. Oh wow. You're right. Weird. And this is the only one. It's
00:47:33
not like I like I have ADHD, but it's not just me. Well, look at that. everyone's they were around 90 minutes in the in
00:47:39
the 30s and then it went up to about 130 minutes peaked out in the 60s then it dipped in the 80s and the '9s which I
00:47:45
love the 9090 minute you know whatever the back in the 90s the comedies that were 100 minutes perfect you know
00:47:50
but they are peaking yeah but then right now we're pe no we're kind of on average we're actually going back down technically so so boohoo
00:47:58
sit around do enjoy a movie I do enjoy what's the last movie you saw
00:48:04
I feel like I feel like the group of us watched something recently. Oh, we watched Pitch Perfect, which is not
00:48:10
brand new movie just came out 15 years ago. Emma, Pitch Perfect. Well, it was on cable. We have like the
00:48:17
TVs in our rooms. This is going to make me sad. She's going to keep telling me how awful this place is. It sounds like a prison.
00:48:22
It's It's nice. You have no You guys have no money. Yeah.
00:48:28
Well, it need internship right now. They're 20 years old. They're in school. Yeah. It's tough.
00:48:33
I don't remember. So, like you have a bank account? Yeah. Okay. Do your parents help you? A bank account? I don't know what the [ __ ] deal is,
00:48:39
dude. Sorry for swearing. She has a bank account. She can Do your parents Do you ever call Do you ever call your parents like, "I need
00:48:45
money?" No. And they never give you money. They like will offer it sometimes, but I don't like to take it.
00:48:50
Wow. You're one of them. Are you making your own money now? Yeah, you are. I mean, at this exact moment, no, because my internship's unpaid, but I've
00:48:57
like unpaid in internship is was always the biggest scam of all time to Hollywood. We all did it, but it's insane. Yeah.
00:49:02
They're like, "You do the same amount of work, but you don't get any of the money." And you're like, "When do I get the money?" They're like, "If we want to give it to you."
00:49:08
That's crazy. Mone's been on an unpaid internship for a couple years now. That's pretty wild. Do you enjoy working
00:49:14
for them? Yeah. Are you cut are you cutting or you prepping and stuff? What are you doing? No, I'm doing like a lot of intern like
00:49:20
duties, which is like running the social media and stuff, but they're letting me like work on like giving like feedback on the trailers and stuff. It's really
00:49:26
like good. It's worth it to have the experience. It's just hard living in LA cuz it's so expensive to not be making money. M
00:49:31
yeah. Do you Do you see yourself living here? No. Or New York? She's going to go to New York.
00:49:37
She's an East Coast kid. You're East Coast? I I like it here. I wouldn't stay here long term. I'd live here for like a couple years.
00:49:42
Wait, wait, wait. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. What? Yes.
00:49:47
People from the East Coast, they're so delusional and crazy. Can I Let me make my piece here. Yeah.
00:49:53
All right. LA is the best city in the world, I believe. Yeah. I don't think I don't think it's
00:49:58
the best city in the world. What do you think it is? Madrid. What's the best city in the world?
00:50:03
Madrid's pretty great. Wait. In United States. Well, that's not the world. Okay, let's just
00:50:09
Best city in the US. Yeah.
00:50:15
New York's up there. New York is way up there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Chicago is way up there. Yeah. New York's beautiful. All right.
00:50:21
Chicago's good. Look how gorgeous. But here's what it's the weather. The weather is the best here. Yeah.
00:50:26
Yeah. Yeah. San Francisco should not be on there. Look at all that poop. Poop. San Francisco. San Francisco is still
00:50:32
great. No, I love it. It's poop island. Great restaurants. But um LA, I just I
00:50:38
can't you you'll never move. I can't. You won't let me. I want to. I know. You're staying here. It's the hardest thing in the world.
00:50:44
Whenever I said this the other day to my wife, whenever you fly here, when you're coming back from the East Coast and you get to Colorado, they're like, "It's
00:50:50
going to be bumpy over the Rockies." It always is. And then they go, "All right, strap in your seat belts and uh we've
00:50:56
got about two hours left." left. You're like, "Two [ __ ] hours?" Yeah, we just did 2 hours. We got to do it
00:51:03
again. Yeah, we're too far. Yeah, that's my biggest problem with this place. It's way too far. Not from Hawaii. 5 hours.
00:51:09
It's far from everyone. Okay. All of the country is that way.
00:51:14
Everybody's that way. Not my people. You don't. I'm your people. Hawaii, dude. Have you been to Hawaii?
00:51:20
No. I wish. What? Have you ever been on a vac a nice vacation? Yeah. Where' you with your parents? Yeah.
00:51:26
Where'd you guys go? Puerto Rico I I would say is the best event. It's an island of garbage.
00:51:34
It's a I mean that was really dead on. You know who that was? Big. It was a comic Tony. He joked around and
00:51:40
called it an island of garbage during the What was that? I don't even know what that was. It was um MG.
00:51:46
It was a rally. He called it an island of garbage. It was a joke. He was But it was at the um Island of Square Garden Square Garden.
00:51:53
Yeah. Hulk Hogan was on it. Get me to island of garbage, brother. Yeah. Yeah.
00:51:58
So, what what your dream is? To become an editor. Um have a family maybe one day. I do.
00:52:04
Yeah. Well, you're 21, so like life is so bright now. There's nothing getting so free. I wish you could like, you know what I
00:52:10
mean? Like borrow people's younger people's blood. You stick around Hollywood long enough,
00:52:16
you'll just you'll get it, right? You know, just give you a couple more extra years. That's why everybody's getting kicked
00:52:21
off the air cuz they're all blood drinkers. They're all blood. I love that. That's like a real thing that that people rum rumored they said
00:52:27
that they're like they're drinking blood of babies. Yeah. I've run into people that said that. Um
00:52:32
that's what the Hollywood Reservoir is filmed. I know there's a cabal you and you guys are a part of a cult. I go really
00:52:37
mild. Yeah. And they go but and I always ask am I in it? They're like no I don't think you're in it. Right.
00:52:44
Right. Then I go then I'll ask like but what about so and so? No. But then you get to a point like what about Bill
00:52:50
Burr? Yeah. And they're like, "Uh, cuz he's that famous." Yeah. But I'm like, "Yeah, he would
00:52:56
never do that." Is that what you think, dude? Baby blood is warm. Give me
00:53:02
[ __ ] warm baby blood. Dude, I sit down for me. Guys, give me [ __ ] warm baby blood.
00:53:09
Yeah. At noon. Do you know who Bill Burr is? Yeah. Do you like standup comedy? Yeah, I watch it sometimes. I I We saw
00:53:14
your show. That was really good. What show? The at the comedy store. Oh, you guys went to a live show. Oh, they came down the main room. Oh, you
00:53:20
guys saw that? Yeah, it was awesome. Who was that not good? I don't want to say that. But Dax, we'll
00:53:26
bleep it out. Don't make her feel that way. All right, Dax Flame was so good. We love Dax. That was hilarious. I didn't see it
00:53:31
coming. Emma, so we know your dreams. We know your hopes. Yeah. Uh, you're 21 and you're living in the
00:53:38
arguably the most uncomfortable part of Los Angeles in terms of walking around at night. You don't feel safe,
00:53:44
do you? No. Yeah, please don't walk around at night. Yeah, we just met, but I really do. things I have seen being here just like what it's
00:53:50
been two weeks maybe three. Yeah, it's crazy. And like like I'll look out on my balcony like I saw like I
00:53:56
saw some someone with one leg like throwing scooters at people. Oh, that's that's Caleb.
00:54:02
Yeah, Caleb. I love that guy. He's actually very sweet. Yeah, there was a guy kind of near here that throws ebikes into the LA River.
00:54:10
Yeah. And then the fire department was there that yesterday and I talked to the guy and I talked to the firefighter. I was
00:54:15
like, "What are you guys doing?" They had a hose out and they were training by they were he was doing hose training exercises like unplugging plugging and
00:54:21
they were shooting into the LA River and I go, "What are you guys doing?" He goes, "Training." And I go, "What's up with all those bikes?" He goes, "Dude,
00:54:26
the more we take out, the more they keep putting in. So, we're not doing it anymore." Wow. Because these homeless guys, they throw
00:54:31
they find them and they throw them in the [ __ ] LA River. Yeah. Look, that's them. They just Dude, they just huck them over the side.
00:54:37
Like scooters and stuff. Ebike scooters. They'll throw Why? Because they're homeless and they're upset and they're Yeah. Right. That's
00:54:43
where right there by Frog Town. Wow. Dude, it's I the literally the the firefighter was like, "We stopped taking
00:54:49
them out because we would have to take them out. It's a pain." And then to the next day, there'd be four more in there.
00:54:55
Wow. There's a homeless taking a stand against ebikes. He had no leg. Yeah, he only had one leg. He was in a
00:55:01
wheelchair. I don't know how he was throwing them. He was throwing them far, too. He was throwing them like at people. He didn't reach they didn't reach them. But
00:55:06
they got good strength, those oneleggers, just like the guy that murdered your mom. Peace. That's right. That guy was a bad boy. Maybe this could
00:55:12
be the same guy. Maybe. Also, uh there's a robot that's been stuck in my neighborhood. They
00:55:17
weren't allowed forever. You know, the ones that self-d deliver. I love those guys. Those They all have names. Yeah. This one's Kenny.
00:55:23
Oh, Kenny. And And he's been stuck at a light pole in my neighborhood.
00:55:28
And I don't know what to do. But I But honestly, the sun is roasting him all day. Yeah. And it's dying now. The lights are dying
00:55:34
on it. Oh, like Wall-E. It is like Wall-E, dude. It is like Wall-E. Good. I love the eyes that they put in.
00:55:40
Look, it helps. And they blink. Yeah, they blink. They do blink. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And the eyes are slowly dying. I can tell it's dying. And I And I want to
00:55:46
help it. And I always say hi. I don't know why. Yeah. You say hello. I let them go in front of me. Yeah. Me, too. And I go, "Hi."
00:55:54
I like how they stop really abruptly when they don't know what's in front of me. And I always go, "I'm sorry." Like, it doesn't [ __ ] know.
00:56:00
No, it does know. You think it does? Well, it's recording everything at all times. That someone someone's watching
00:56:05
back some of that footage. I don't like those things. I put [ __ ] in front of them or juke them out. You're a bully. They're taking jobs from
00:56:11
real people. No, they're not. Dude, you don't have to tip them. Get these robots out of here. Someone had to program it, fix it,
00:56:17
upkeep. That's three jobs, right? And that lost 50 people delivery jobs. You're an oppressor. You're an oppressor. That's how they
00:56:24
felt like robots are oppressing us. When when immigrants started coming to America, they viewed it like that.
00:56:29
That's code. Immigrants are losing jobs. How is that not an immigrant? Yeah. Yeah. Does he have a sense?
00:56:34
One day, there's going to be a sentient being. His name is Jay. He's not an immigrant. It's Hi, May. Imagine if Ice starts
00:56:41
busting these boxes. Yeah. Today on KTL, today Ice takes down Jamie. Hi,
00:56:47
please. No, just delivering food. Please, please, please, please. Nice try, Jamie. But you know,
00:56:52
on the [ __ ] ground shooting that thing up. Yeah.
00:56:57
Bad. Are there Whimos in Boston? No, I've never seen one until I came to LA. Now, when you saw one, if people
00:57:04
don't know, a Whimo is a driver self-driver driverless car. It's It's Uber without a driver. It's a car just
00:57:11
drives you. They suck. Did it shock you when you saw it or not? It did. I saw them at first and I just thought they were like weird looking
00:57:16
cars and then I looked in and there's no one in there. You know, you know the bad news about this, right? Cuz we're Valley boys. We
00:57:22
live here in the valley. They're coming to the [ __ ] valley by next year. But, you know, they're mapping it out right now. So,
00:57:27
it's happening. I wanted it only in the city. Fine. What's up with your [ __ ] [ __ ] against oppressing [ __ ] robots
00:57:34
taking jobs from people? I I was a driver. I was a FedEx driver. I support drivers and and the working
00:57:41
man. Yeah, you're the working man. You quit after like a month and a half. How long did you do it? Well, I worked till I got my unpaid
00:57:46
internship and I had to take all my FedEx savings and drive out here with the same car. Let's go back to Emma. I'm not Emma. Do
00:57:52
you like a guy like uh Con is close your age? Is this kind of guy someone if you
00:57:57
saw him would you trust him at a party? Would you go I like this guy. He seems trustworthy if you saw him. I mean, do you want honesty on that?
00:58:04
Yeah, the mustache is always a little The mustache is always a little iffy, right? But so far, you seem fine. He seems
00:58:11
But he But the mustache at at glance go you. What do you think? You think perv abuser? Not not specifically him. It's just the
00:58:18
idea of that specific known for that, right? Is he cute?
00:58:24
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Wow. Yeah, she has to. Yeah, I do. Why? Cuz we're here. It's, you know what I
00:58:30
mean? She doesn't want to hurt his feelings. Okay. Okay. I have to. I think you are cute. Cuz I've had girls say McCon's cute
00:58:36
and Thank you, Emma. I appreciate you, but I don't want to [ __ ] Don't give him anything. Say thank you, D. Thank you, Emma. Emma, you're the
00:58:42
best. Give it up for Emma. That's Emma. Send in another victim. Let's see somebody else. Emma, I hope you make it.
00:58:47
I know you will. You're going to be a great editor. You're going to make it. You're going to make it. Yeah. By the way, if we need more editors, right? Yep. When she comes out here, if we need one.
00:58:53
Well, you don't want to move to LA. Hey, I can edit remote and I'm willing. I'm willing to live. We could. We seriously could use her if
00:58:59
we need her for something. All right, we'll talk to you, Emma. Okay, Emma, thank you.
00:59:04
We need a guy. Oh, look at this guy. Oh, [ __ ] We're getting two. Two. Yeah, we have two for one. Two for one.
00:59:09
Two for one. All right, we're going to guess their names based on their appearance. All right. Uh the f the guy's name is He looks
00:59:16
Eastern European. Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah, he does look Eastern European. And his name is
00:59:21
Toque. Toque. Toque. T O K E. Toque. You're to dude. And this young lady
00:59:27
looks uh she looks like just an East Coast girl. Willow. Willow. Willow or Willow. Uh or O.
00:59:32
Willow. Willow with a W. You get Willow and I get Toque. Cuz you look very toky. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And what's your real name?
00:59:38
Ben. Close. Yeah. Yeah. And your name? Sam. Sam. That was close.
00:59:43
Sam and uh Sam and uh what's your name? Ben. No. Toque. I like to
00:59:49
Yeah. All right. To Yeah. And uh and you guys are Quinnipiac. How old are you guys? I'm 21. 21. Same. And then you guys are in the
00:59:56
graduate program. What do you want to do, Toque? Um, I want to find like stable income. I think that'd be cool.
01:00:01
Oh, [ __ ] These kids, you know, you know, these kids these days, they want to work.
01:00:06
Yeah, but it's it's a it's a tough job job market. I know. I was being facitious. Yeah. No, it is very hard. I'm saying
01:00:12
I'm sorry. Ben, you know. No, no. I get I get it, Ben. All I've been told is it's it's hard to
01:00:18
like get a job. So, you know, and and how has it been? Uh, you know, I've just had internships. What are you doing in the in the world
01:00:24
of film? Um I'm with Seven Ekis right now. Yeah. Oh, you work with us? I I do. Yeah. What do you do? You're interning?
01:00:29
Yeah, I'm I'm the intern there, you know, like like Richie. I saw he was on the podcast the other day. Yeah. Don't get any ideas
01:00:35
to you have thin fingers. I like that. Thank you. Okay. Is that like a good thing? It could be.
01:00:40
If you're Shopan, are yours? Yeah. Yeah. No. If we need you to pick a lock or something. Yeah. Yeah. And how about you, Willow? What do you
01:00:46
aspire to be and do? Um I've enjoyed producing. That's been a lot of fun. Been a producer. Yeah. You kind of have a producer vibe.
01:00:52
You have a producer vibe. You know why? Because she's even keeled. She's got that very like balance. Anybody not a good one like Kathleen Kennedy?
01:00:58
Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Like a whip. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My way or the highway. Secretly. She's She's insane.
01:01:04
Yeah. Right now it hasn't flourished yet, but you're going to be a bull. Okay, I'll take it.
01:01:10
That's you. Do you have bully inside of you? Can you be mean? Um, look at that face. I ruined Star Wars.
01:01:20
I think I've like raised my voice at someone once. Like not including like my brothers cuz of course, but um
01:01:27
Yeah. Jerk. Yeah. No, I don't I don't like confrontation. I'm going to have to get over that. We're going to learn. All right. So, you
01:01:32
you and I are working. You're a producer. Him and I are on a film set. You have to be You have to scold us.
01:01:38
Scold you? He's a lighting guy, right? And I'm And you're we we're behind schedule
01:01:43
and I'm sound. He's lighting and we're just chilling. No, we're just in the back alleyway smoking. I mean,
01:01:50
remember trees? Yeah. Right on that mud pot. That mud pot, man. Um, excuse me, guys.
01:01:56
Yeah. What's up? What's up? What's up, lady? What's up, woman?
01:02:02
We don't have any more cigarettes, man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, man. You guys are done now. If that's okay, we're going to go
01:02:07
back inside. We're going to do our job and we're going to have a great day. What? What? Who are you? Who are you?
01:02:13
I'm the producer. What? What producer? I don't producer of this film. Oh, for the movie work we're on.
01:02:19
Yes. Yes. Top dog. Top hire. Um, so I'm going to need you guys to come back. Top dog. That's you.
01:02:25
Yep. That's me. That's me. It's nice to It's nice to meet you guys, but we got to got to get back in. Yeah. Well, you know what? Hey, lady.
01:02:32
Can I just say something? Please, Skip. Uh, yeah. Thank go ahead. We'll get there when we get there. Yeah, we'll get to it when I have your
01:02:38
paycheck. So, if you want that, you're going to have to come with me. Oh, you're extorting us. Oh, you're threatening us.
01:02:43
Okay. All right. I could I could do this all day. You guys want your job?
01:02:50
We can do this all day, too, lady. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty good. I got to go inside, man.
01:02:56
You should be more stern, though. That was good. Yeah. I'm going to have to work on it. This is great practices. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cuz you got to do it like you got you
01:03:01
got to you got to talk like you're one of us. So, uh like look, I'll be the executive.
01:03:07
You be you be you be smoking. You know, you now you it's just you. I'll show. Can Ben be in it?
01:03:12
Yeah. Toque. Toque can be in it. To it. You and T together. I'm going to show you what to do. All right. You You're
01:03:17
guys, you're out back and you're on Smoke Break. Hey, Toque. Yeah. What's up, Bobby?
01:03:23
[ __ ] this project. That's what I'm saying, right? It sucks. [ __ ] Jake Gyllenhaal.
01:03:30
Don't for Hey, boys. Hey, guys. Guys, guys, guys. How are you? What's up, man? We're smoking.
01:03:36
Oh, I know. I know. I love smoking. Smoking's rad, huh? Yeah. It's [ __ ] awesome. Yeah, man. Don't you want to smoke
01:03:41
everywhere all the time? Yeah, we do. And we also we also want our privacy so back up. Tell me about it. Tell me about it. Tell
01:03:49
I told you to stand up for yourself. To tell him off, to that's his name. Yeah. To Yeah. To you're fired. So Bobby, I'm going to
01:03:56
need you back inside now. Or you're fired as well. Are you fired? Yeah, I fired. You see how quickly he got fired?
01:04:02
Your [ __ ] mouth. You see how that's how you do it? That's That's how you do it. Yeah. You just You bully him. You got it. And you got it in you.
01:04:08
Okay. All right. So bully us now. really [ __ ] hit us hard. Yeah. I want you to [ __ ] just
01:04:13
make fun of us that you have to. You have to. You're Kathleen Kennedy. You're KK.
01:04:18
Let me say something. This movie is $300 million. 500 million. Yeah. 500. And right, we're behind
01:04:26
schedule. No. Tom Holland's waiting on set. No. Yeah. Also, who else is it? This is And um Tom Holland.
01:04:34
Tom Holland. And uh Huh. And what's the kid from [ __ ] uh Yeah. Yeah. I don't know anybody's names.
01:04:39
Yeah. Yeah. Tim Zena and Timothy Shalam. They've been waiting for days. Camera
01:04:45
operators, right? We're ops. We're supposed to be on. We're supposed to be shoot. Are you guys excited about this, though? So, we're smoking now.
01:04:51
Oh, okay. My bad. You know that produ You know that produc What's the producer's name? Who? Linda. Whatever. That lady, that
01:04:57
lady with a hair. Oh, the little blonde. Hey guys. Hey guys. Oh, here she is. Here she can put those down now.
01:05:03
No. No. Okay. Okay. Cigarettes. Let's tap cigarettes.
01:05:10
I'm going to need you to do that or I'm going to need you to leave. Uh, whoa. Excuse me.
01:05:16
Who are you? I'm the producer. What's your name? My name's Sam. What's your guys' name?
01:05:21
Sam, you can't go up. You can't Yeah. She went, "My name is Sam." It was very sweet. You're not my
01:05:26
friend. You got to bully us. Yeah. You go. You go. Do you need You don't need to know my friend. You Sam, let me just put this into
01:05:33
perspective. Okay. I need like a notepad. Here's I'm going to put you need to ignore all of these notes. This
01:05:39
is all This is [ __ ] You're Cleopatra, right? And we're just dudes building the pyramid.
01:05:45
God, that's so harsh. What? You're That's how you have to think,
01:05:51
though. I get it. Right. We're just one of 20,000 people building.
01:05:58
You're the queen of Egypt. Yeah, you're the queen of Egypt. No, no, no. I to me everyone's on the same that you're not going to be a producer
01:06:05
then. That's not right. No pyramids will be built. No pyramids are going to get built.
01:06:10
No pyramids are going to get barrel built. You have to be a bull. Now we'll do it again.
01:06:15
Again more. So anyways, you know who I can't stand?
01:06:20
What? That that guy to that we used to work with. [ __ ] Hey guys, he sucks. Hey, I think Hey guys is even wrong.
01:06:27
Hey guys. Yeah. Yeah. Hey guys, what's up? Excuse me. Is that better? No. No.
01:06:33
Guys, listen up. Guys, listen up. I have my job back. Yeah, actually. Okay, if you guys don't put those down, I'm hiring Toque.
01:06:40
Yeah, that's good. That's good. To is really bad at his job. You could have Toke, but Okay. You going to fire me?
01:06:46
Yeah. Okay, we'll just claim racial discrimination. How are you claiming that?
01:06:51
Oh, to you see any other redheads on set? Toque? Yeah. Emma.
01:06:57
Emba. Emba's my editor, actually. She's in this. She's in studio. She's on set today. She's not. Oh, she's on set.
01:07:02
She's on set. My daughter's on set. Yeah. M Dog, listen. You're going to be a producer.
01:07:09
You're going to be a great producer. Thank you. I I actually really like it um out here and with school because I'm trying a lot of different things. Um so,
01:07:16
it's it's really a great experience all around. And to I got to tell you something. Yeah.
01:07:21
Be careful out there. I will. Okay. Why are you saying that to him? Cuz I want to say the same thing. I you can feel something. He's a little
01:07:27
troublemaker. He's a little bit. Stay careful. Stay careful. Why do you think I'm in trouble?
01:07:33
Well, you wore a jacket and it's 96. And that was a little dead giveaway that something's a foot. And I I don't know
01:07:39
what it is, but I thought to came in here with a jacket. It couldn't be hotter outside. Literally, it's normally very cool in like the
01:07:45
building. So, I want to like prepare at at 7. It's cold. And I'll tell you another thing. To your face is very peaky blinders.
01:07:52
Peeky blinders. Peaky blinders. Hello, T. Yeah. Like a hood rat from England.
01:07:57
Yeah. Are you Can you do a British accent, Toque? I don't think so. Try. That's you, dude. Toque, say, uh,
01:08:03
what should I say? Where where uh, where's the party tonight? Where's the party tonight?
01:08:09
That's pretty good. Pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Very good. Party. Where's the party tonight? Embody that character right now, to what
01:08:15
are you trying to do again in the business? I forget. Yeah. Embody that guy. Uh, I'd like to do like marketing, advertising.
01:08:20
Advertising. Very good. All right. So, sell me this. Sell me this show. Um, you know, you got Killian Murphy.
01:08:25
That's a pretty big name right there. That's a great Well, I mean, can I just say something?
01:08:31
I mean, we're production company. You don't open with whoever starring in it.
01:08:36
You need to know what the project is. What's the project? Okay. So, it's about these British guys and it's it's not in the modern day.
01:08:42
It's like I I don't know what time period it is. Excuse me. Excuse me. Uh, can we have a
01:08:48
little meeting? Yeah. He doesn't know the time of the movie. Interesting. He could just make it up and lie to us.
01:08:54
They're gangsters. I know that. Oh, we're listening. We're listening. Yeah, we love British gangsters. Yes.
01:09:00
Criminal activities. They do criminal activities. So, time period. Could it be in the future?
01:09:05
Uh, no. It's like in the past. It's Oh, it is. Yeah. No. How far into the past? How far?
01:09:10
Let's say the 1920s. 1940s. Maybe 1920s or 40s.
01:09:15
Big gap. Big gap. Somewhere in that 20s. 1920 to 1940. Time jumps though, you know. Oh, you do a lot of time jump. Oh, time
01:09:22
jumps. Okay. And now And now the show takes place in where? London. In central London in 1920.
01:09:29
1920. Is that right? I don't know. Dude, you got to pitch it. You lied.
01:09:34
It just kind of does take place in central London in 1920. Very good. Very good. To you already lost the room.
01:09:39
Yeah, it's over. Yeah. Yeah. I'll pitch you this show. Okay. Ready? No. Pitch No, pitch me a different show.
01:09:47
Okay. That you make up. Oh. That I a new show. Yeah. All right. All you guys are the executives.
01:09:53
Yeah. Thanks for having me today, guys. Great to be here. How's everyone? May I? Hi. How are you? Good evening.
01:09:58
Oh, good evening. My name is uh Skip Libosi. Mr. Libosi. It's wonderful to meet you
01:10:03
and send your constituents over there. And um introduce yourself, please. Hi, I'm Willow. Hi, Willow.
01:10:08
Your last name? Willow. My last name? Yeah. What is it? I feel like we're familiar. Maybe we met. Willow. What's
01:10:14
your last name? Willow Evergreen. Willow Evergreen. Willow Evergreen. Anyway, and sir, what's your name, sir? Uh uh to
01:10:24
took Smith toka Smith to Smith. He's he also stutters.
01:10:30
Anyway, anyway, I will say to Toka, I do appreciate the fact that your parents being very Anglo
01:10:36
Smithians giving you a unique name. I like that. He's Bulgarian. Let's move on. Um
01:10:43
so have a movie. What's the movie, sir? Do you guys like Who reps you? Huh? Who reps you? Unrepped.
01:10:48
You're unrep. How did you get a meeting to Toa? How did he get a meeting? I didn't schedule him.
01:10:54
Who? Willow, did you schedule this guy? He has no reps. How did he get a meeting with us? Well, your your assistant read my script
01:11:00
that I sent in and loved it. So, they You did, Willow? Yeah. Yeah. No, I I thought he had something and I I figured he should.
01:11:05
Miss Evergreen wrote it. Really? Yeah. Unbelievable. Because, you know, you bumped Aaron Sorcin for this.
01:11:10
He's still out there in the hallway. I know. Anyway, go ahead. You guys like Girl Scout cookies? We love Girl We We've been talking about
01:11:16
doing a Girl Scout cookie movie. What's your favorite flavor? The mint. The mint one. The mint one. Yeah.
01:11:22
Okay. I like the peanut butter one. You do? Yeah. Willow, shut the [ __ ] up. Willow, shut the [ __ ] up.
01:11:28
The movie I'm pitching is called Thick Mints. Okay. Not Thin Mints. And it's about a
01:11:34
uh Girl Scout leader, a very beautiful, sexy, thick woman uh who uh trains young
01:11:42
Girl Scout women to kill men. Wow. Who have done her wrong. It's almost like a uh it's a female empowerment film
01:11:49
and all the while they're selling cookies to make money to fuel their their revenge on all these men that have
01:11:55
done them wrong. My god, it's pretty great. You like it? They're young children that murder. No, no, they're Girl Scouts, but they're
01:12:01
all grown women by this point. Now they're just avenging their death through the Girl Scouts. So, they train the children to kill.
01:12:06
Mhm. I don't know if that's going to market well. Why to express yourself? Interesting. Well, um, you know, I don't
01:12:12
think it's going to appeal to the general audience, like child neglect. Well, I like it.
01:12:20
Yeah. So, this is Hollywood at its finest. Yeah. Yeah. This is Hollywood. One guy in the room. Intern. Shut the [ __ ] up.
01:12:28
We like it. Yeah, we like it. I, by the way, great movie. It's a great movie. Thickman. Very good. The Girl Scouts are trained to to take
01:12:34
to take revenge on men who have done them wrong. Amazing. All right. Well, we'll say thank you to Toque and thank you to Willow. You guys
01:12:39
are [ __ ] amazing. We love you. Give it up for these guys. You can join the others. Do we want to take one more for fun?
01:12:45
Two more in general. Oh, get them over here. Hey, get them in here. Yeah, get them in here. Guys, you guys are the best. Thank you. And good luck on everything.
01:12:50
Thank you. Hello. You going to be capot the rest of the
01:12:55
time? How are you? What's your name? Oh, wait. Let's guess. Hold on. Yeah.
01:13:00
Her name is Slovankia. Slovanca. Slovanka. And his name is
01:13:07
Tweet. Tweet. Tweet. Slovankia and Tweet. Yeah. And your real names are
01:13:13
JJ. JJ. JJ, when we said tweet, I don't like your reaction.
01:13:19
Got a little defensive there. What does JJ stand for? Jeffrey Jr. Jeffrey Jr. Cuz your father's Jeff.
01:13:24
That's true. That's the big J. You're little Jeff. You have Vulcan. What? Have Vulcan?
01:13:30
You have a Vulcan vibe. Kids got great teeth. Great teeth. Kids got great teeth. Great lips. Yeah.
01:13:35
Is that weird to say? Yes. Okay. I mean, no. Oh, if he has nice lips. See, he likes he's playing him a
01:13:40
compliment. I don't think it's that bad. Slovankia. Sloankia. What's your real name? It's Giana, but I go by GG.
01:13:46
Pretty close. GG. To be honest with you, that's in the world. Slovankia. Giovana. What's your like what's what European
01:13:53
country does your family come from? Italy. Um, Italy. France. I I don't know like
01:14:00
exactly. Yeah. No one's doing 23 and me anymore after they saw. You put your mic closer to your mouth. I'm not allowed to do
01:14:06
those DNA tests. You shouldn't do them. They're dangerous and silly. They have your blood for the rest of time.
01:14:11
They can like frame you. They have your DNA. Oh my god. You're afraid of getting framed. I leave my DNA in every hotel room I
01:14:18
ever stay in. Gigi, are you afraid of getting framed? No. No. I Do you have anything to cover up?
01:14:24
No. Okay. Is she being honest, do you think, JJ? I think so. Yeah. Okay. Well, I don't buy it. Yeah.
01:14:29
What do you guys want to do in the biz? I want to go into editing. Do you want to be an editor as well? A tough competition with Emma, huh? Yeah.
01:14:35
What about you? Um, I think I'm going the AD route. AD ads are great. Smart. That's very
01:14:40
smart. An organizational person. You're a people person, right? Maybe. Well, that's AD. You kind of have If you
01:14:47
ever AD something that I'm in, if you call the film, if you call me in too early, we're going to have a problemmo.
01:14:54
What is up with their [ __ ] They don't know about time. They do. They don't.
01:15:00
They do. Then why do I have to wait 4 hours? because they're lighting and they relight and then they change the where
01:15:05
we're shooting and you know how this [ __ ] thing goes. It's a nightmare. Who out of the crew hangs out the most?
01:15:11
Well, Toque and I are have been roommates in college. So, T and you go back.
01:15:16
Yeah, we go back. Do you like to? I am a big fan of him. You guys are good friends. Do you guys do Night Whispers? What?
01:15:22
You night whisper when you sleep and you and you You guys do night whisper. You go to It's more like
01:15:27
What are you thinking about? Say to Yeah. What you thinking about?
01:15:32
Grilled cheese sandwiches. Yeah. I really want one real bad. Oh, I wish we had a kitchen.
01:15:39
You have a kitchen? They do. We do. We have a kitchen. What? But we have a kitchen.
01:15:45
Kitchen. Do you have Is there cheese in here? There's probably no cheese. Wait, do you have a fridge? Yeah, they do.
01:15:50
We have a fridge. [ __ ] fridge. When did we get a [ __ ] fridge? Do we have a grill?
01:15:56
Do we have a grill? They do. No grill. What the [ __ ] We have a grill. No, he said fourth
01:16:02
floor. Fourth floor. We have a [ __ ] grill. On the fourth floor, we have a grill, right? So, do we have cheese and bread?
01:16:08
We can do it. Let's do it. Let's make it. Do you do that ever with toque? No. Oh, okay. You don't whisper at night.
01:16:14
And who do you live with? I live with the girls. But I have All the girls live together. Yeah. But I have my own room cuz there's
01:16:20
three of us. So, there's three girls. You all have your own room? Obviously. Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to give you guys money.
01:16:27
I'm being real. What are you laughing about? No. Okay. If you want to give money. Yeah. Yeah. But you guys are going to [ __ ] get
01:16:34
dinner tonight. Okay. On us. On us. Do you have any cash on you? Yeah, I got cash in the bag.
01:16:39
Okay. I'll give you some cash. We'll give you some cash. You guys going to get a nice dinner. Okay. On the we
01:16:45
treat. What's that? Like what's it in your mind? What's a nice dinner down? Is there a nice dinner downtown that you know of?
01:16:50
What do you guys usually eat eating downtown? Because everything closes down there. But on the way from here there are those
01:16:56
places they go to Bob's Big Boy. I don't know. No, I know. Yeah, that's true. We've all been like kind of cooking a lot. You cook a lot.
01:17:01
We're like doing like frozen meals. Frozen meals. Cooking and frozen meals. Not tonight, baby. Right. And if you
01:17:08
take the cash and not don't get a meal, I'm going to have a problemmo with it. I'm not problem with it. You can do whatever you want.
01:17:13
No, no, not me. Your money. You're spending You're spending on a meal tonight on us. Thank you. You know, you're shady right now,
01:17:19
Slovakia. Okay. What do you think? First thing out of her mouth, she was like, I don't want them to I don't want them to frame me. So, she's obviously got some weird
01:17:26
chick. She has some weird trust issues. I just got social anxiety. Oh, you do? Oh, you do? Oh, I'm sorry.
01:17:31
I'm glad we put you on the show. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't know you Well, no. This is a good exercise. This is good. We have anxiety.
01:17:38
Yeah. You know what's great? What you wouldn't think. I'm anxious now.
01:17:43
I'm full of anxiety. You have terrible anxiety. It comes in different forms. We'll do some improv exercises then to
01:17:48
get you through it. Let's do Let's do one. See if you want to do You want to try one? And you want to be an AD. And what do
01:17:53
you want to be again? Editor. Editor with Emma. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Let's do an improv exercise. Okay. You're doing a TED talk.
01:18:01
Okay. Okay. So, let me say a Tina talk. Yeah. A You have to be very confident.
01:18:07
Even though we're going to give you a topic, you have to pretend you really you're a professional. You know what you're
01:18:12
talking about. There's thousands of people in this room. They paid money and they're here to hear an expert on a
01:18:19
topic. That's right. Okay. So, you're going to go up and you're going to say you're you're going to make up a name. You know what I mean?
01:18:24
where you're from and you're going to go into the topic for like a minute and and the technology.
01:18:29
Well, what's the topic? Well, the thing you invented was uh you were the one that that
01:18:36
decided that the box uh at street lights that goes wait or walk walk. That's you.
01:18:43
Yeah. That's actually your voice. The original one was your voice. Yeah. Yeah. So, you were the girl that invented wait
01:18:48
go walk. That's you. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Do you know what I'm talking about? to talk about that for a minute.
01:18:55
Yeah. One minute. One easy minute. Yeah. Yeah. And so I'm going to introduce you. Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, lights down. And um um how
01:19:01
about a round of applause for our presenter for this evening. [Applause]
01:19:07
You don't clap for yourself. No, you can if you're really excited about your project. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I am. Um
01:19:13
Slovakia Sloonia. Sloonia. Um, and I have invented
01:19:20
something that you have all used in your life many times. Oh, what is it? I wonder what it is. What is it? It's actually the crosswalk box that
01:19:27
says wait and and it tells you to walk. That's what she invented.
01:19:34
Okay. Yeah. No. Listen. Listen. I'm serious. Think about this. Okay.
01:19:40
If this wasn't a thing, we'd all be getting hit by cars. Well, we not really. Yeah, I mean we
01:19:45
have we can we can see the green red. No, no, no, no, no. No, we need
01:19:55
this is a very important thing that is in every city in every state and I'm
01:20:02
everywhere. Okay, can we we have Can we have some question? We have some questions. Can we
01:20:07
ask some questions? I like how we gave her a great invention and she somehow made it sound like it was not worth it.
01:20:12
Yeah. Yeah. Like for some reason now I'm I'm like God that is not that's not as thought about. Yeah. Yeah. It was invented for the for the blind.
01:20:19
Yeah. I mean it was you know that it was invented for blind. Yeah. To help them get across the streets. That's why you hear go so the
01:20:25
the noises echo each other so they can find out how far it is and where they're going. But you hate blind people. You
01:20:31
said that on the show. The first thing out of your mouth is I hate blind people. No. You did a good job pitching. Very good. I actually really liked it.
01:20:37
You want to do one? Really? I think I think you should. I think I think you should. I think you should,
01:20:42
you know, she said she has social anxiety and she really powered through it and and I think and I applaud you.
01:20:48
That was [ __ ] great. GG G. Yeah. All right, let's go JJ.
01:20:53
JJ and GG. TED talk or No. Yeah, he's got to do a TED talk. And what did he invent? You two tell him cuz
01:20:58
I did hers. Okay. Um, bubble wrap. Oh, this is fantastic. All right, ladies and gentlemen, your presenter for the
01:21:05
night, JJ. Thank you.
01:21:10
Um, you know how like you order something and then uh it gets damaged on
01:21:16
the way? That happens to me. Yeah. Oh my god. Like human bodies. Oh my god. Yeah. Body parts always get
01:21:21
dinged up. What if you had a wrap made a bubble to stop that? What do you mean bubble? I don't have
01:21:28
bubbles. They float and they pop like little kids. We already have that though. Is this the guy that invented it? What did you do? What? What do you mean?
01:21:33
I did bubble wrap. Oh, you you invented bubble wrap? I did.
01:21:39
Really? Yeah, dude. This is They're not turning into a TED talk. It's turning into like an answer question.
01:21:47
What are you talking to the [ __ ] speaker for, dude? There's only two of us in this room.
01:21:52
I mean, my god, he didn't sell any [ __ ] tickets. Yeah. Yeah. It seemed like a Q&A. I get it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:21:57
You invented bubble wrap. And what gave you the in what gave you the instinct to invent something like that?
01:22:02
Um, well, I ordered like a TV and then it shattered on the way. So, I thought we need better protection in like the
01:22:08
postal system. Smart. Very smart. Smart. I don't know why you're ordering TVs through the postal system, but
01:22:15
outside of that, I think it's fantastic. Yeah. JJ, you're going to make a great ad someday. Very good ad. Yeah. And you're going to be a great editor.
01:22:21
Who's better at editing? You or Emma? Be honest. Go fast. Go. Honestly, don't even think about it. I haven't really seen much of her stuff.
01:22:26
We need to have an edit off. Oh, slam. Let's have an edit off. Slam to Emma. Oh, that was a slam. Oh, I didn't really
01:22:31
see stuff that she does. Yeah, that's right. I don't like the stuff that she does. That's a little down there. I mean, she's asked. I just kind of
01:22:36
don't want to see it. Yeah. Yeah, she does edit. Not that I know. I mean, I've seen it from afar. I don't think she's doing it right.
01:22:42
A lot of other people say she edits, but I don't I don't Not that I know of. It's not really my thing. All right. Well, uh JJ and GG, we
01:22:48
appreciate you very much. Thank you. Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you guys. Look at that. They passed. Did they get a grade for that? Did they pass some sort of test?
01:22:54
Yes. Um let's say this. Uh we uh thank you for all your birthday
01:22:59
condolences. Yeah, that was great. Can I say an honest thing real fast?
01:23:06
A truthful thing. No, it's the wrong word. Yeah, he didn't die. He died on his birthday.
01:23:14
I want to say I want to say something genuine. Am I dumb? Honestly, am I dumb?
01:23:20
No, you're No, be real. Am I dumb? You're an artist. Why? Cuz I say Okay. Do you think I'm
01:23:25
dumb? Yeah. You really do? No, of course not. All right. I wouldn't do something with
01:23:30
you if I didn't think you were intelligent. Are you being real? Yeah. If you were a [ __ ] idiot, I would. I mean, I I could freak. Yeah.
01:23:37
Here's the thing. I think you are what we call an idiot savant. Meaning you're brilliant in your own
01:23:43
very specific way. Yeah. And and by the way, that's that's what makes you so special. I'm not smart, but
01:23:49
you're bright. No. An idiot savant refers to an individual with mental disability who also demonstrates extraordinary abilities in specific specialized area.
01:23:55
That's fact. The term is now considered outdated and potentially abbleist. did not know that.
01:24:01
Instead, preferred the more respectful term individual Savant syndrome. Sorry. I like idiot.
01:24:07
We'll go back to Yeah, you're an idiot. That could also be a special name. Idiot Savant. Uh, I just want to say this. I
01:24:12
want to say thank you to everybody who watched my special White Noise on Hulu and Disney Plus or wherever you get it. It's all over the globe on Disney Plus.
01:24:19
Hulu in North America, I believe. I want to say thank you. It means the world to me. I know the world is chaos right now.
01:24:25
Uh, and I'm glad that we can make comedy that lets people forget about all of the nonsense in the world and just have a
01:24:31
laugh. So, thank you for watching White Noise. It means the world to me. Thank you. And also, thank you for being a bad friend. Thank you for being a bad friend.
01:24:39
[Music]
01:24:49
Woo! [Music]
01:24:54
Woo! [Music]
