00:00:00
You two are bad friends.
00:00:01
>> Who are these two idiots?
00:00:03
>> A white dude and an Asian dude. You two
00:00:07
are disgusting.
00:00:09
>> Oh, you two or something.
00:00:10
>> We're bad friends.
00:00:12
>> Somebody's back from out of town. He's
00:00:14
tired. He's sad. He's down. He's
00:00:16
drinking coffee. Coffee.
00:00:19
>> Great. Thanks for coming out to s
00:00:21
Lincoln. That show was great.
00:00:24
>> What?
00:00:25
>> Exactly.
00:00:26
>> Oh, thank you for And you were great.
00:00:28
>> Oh, Sacramento. Lincoln, California.
00:00:30
>> What?
00:00:30
>> What a good show.
00:00:31
>> Exactly.
00:00:32
>> I didn't know what you were saying. You
00:00:33
were like, "Thanks for s lacking
00:00:34
>> Lincoln." Well, cuz I was trying to
00:00:36
think, is it Sack or Lincoln?
00:00:37
>> It was. They said it was something else,
00:00:39
didn't they?
00:00:40
>> Didn't they say it was Lincoln?
00:00:41
>> Lincoln.
00:00:41
>> Oh, Lincoln.
00:00:42
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:00:42
>> Lincoln Logs.
00:00:43
>> Yeah. So, um, thanks for coming. It was
00:00:45
a great show. You were on fire that
00:00:47
night.
00:00:47
>> What do you mean you killed it?
00:00:49
>> And, um,
00:00:50
>> Okay.
00:00:51
>> What do you mean?
00:00:51
>> You just shrugged me off.
00:00:53
>> No, I didn't.
00:00:54
>> You did?
00:00:54
>> NO, BECAUSE
00:00:55
>> CHECK THE TAPE.
00:00:56
>> I KNOW. BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHY.
00:00:57
>> WHY? Because I'm Because I know if I
00:01:00
said what I was gonna say that was gonna
00:01:01
start a fight. So I didn't say what I
00:01:03
was gonna say.
00:01:04
>> Say what you're gonna say.
00:01:05
>> I didn't think I had a great set. And
00:01:06
now here we go. That annoying. So that's
00:01:08
why I edited it out.
00:01:09
>> Okay. Well, let's go to something
00:01:10
better. Fancy was wasted.
00:01:13
>> That you were wasted.
00:01:14
>> I've never seen you that drunk.
00:01:14
>> I've never seen you drunk at all. Ever.
00:01:16
>> Hammered.
00:01:16
>> Yeah,
00:01:16
>> you were hammered.
00:01:17
>> One drink.
00:01:18
>> One drink. You're alive.
00:01:19
>> No, no, no. I I I I poured you whiskey.
00:01:22
You drank that.
00:01:23
>> Bobby poured you a full glass. But I
00:01:25
have to say on stage though, you had the
00:01:28
two biggest laughs out of even both of
00:01:30
us.
00:01:31
>> C right C was that's a home run.
00:01:36
>> Perfect.
00:01:36
>> The timing of it.
00:01:37
>> It was so good.
00:01:38
>> So good. What was the second punch line?
00:01:40
It was a big one.
00:01:41
>> Yeah. You got one more big pop. You got
00:01:43
two pop.
00:01:44
>> It was based on somebody that was on
00:01:45
stage. It was a guy.
00:01:47
>> Personality.
00:01:48
>> Oh yeah. Personality person. Yeah.
00:01:50
Personality.
00:01:50
>> I'm one more. Uh
00:01:52
>> yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I looked at you as
00:01:55
if to say, you know, congratulations.
00:01:59
>> Sometimes
00:02:00
>> you hit the ball.
00:02:01
>> Sometimes he really hits it hard.
00:02:03
>> Really huge rippling laughs.
00:02:04
>> And because of that, we got a little
00:02:05
gift for you here. This says, "Hey, bad
00:02:07
friends. I found this Fancy Be special
00:02:09
while thrifting and just had to send it
00:02:10
along. Thanks for the making all the
00:02:12
best podcast on the internet. Your
00:02:14
number 69 fan, Mike." Shout out to Mike.
00:02:17
He of course gave Fancy a shirt I'm sure
00:02:20
he owns. Oh, that was an Israeli flag.
00:02:22
>> It is.
00:02:26
>> Wow.
00:02:27
>> Yahoo.
00:02:27
>> Do you own this shirt?
00:02:28
>> I do not.
00:02:30
>> That does not look good.
00:02:32
>> Do you think that looks good? That does
00:02:34
not look good.
00:02:34
>> Desi. Yeah.
00:02:35
>> It's also double XXL, which looks It
00:02:37
looks
00:02:38
>> Is that a Deselle?
00:02:39
>> I think so.
00:02:40
>> That's a Desi.
00:02:41
>> What?
00:02:41
>> From a thrift store.
00:02:42
>> Oh, from a thrift store. Oh, it's a
00:02:44
antique. Like what? A thrifty dis.
00:02:46
>> Imagine on Antiques Road Show somebody's
00:02:48
like, I found this in an attic. It's a
00:02:50
digidual shirt.
00:02:51
>> Yeah.
00:02:52
>> And they're like, "These things are
00:02:53
amazing. They're very valuable." Uh,
00:02:55
almost
00:02:55
>> You mean a 100 years from now?
00:02:56
>> Oh, yeah. Almost nobody wore them.
00:02:58
>> No. No one wore them. Only one guy from
00:03:00
Spain. He was their man and clientele.
00:03:02
>> Dizzy was founded in Barcelona in 1984
00:03:05
by Swiss businessman Thomas Meyer. The
00:03:08
brand originated with the aim of
00:03:10
creating a different meaning. Desi
00:03:13
affordable fashion style that stood out
00:03:14
characterized by vibrant colors,
00:03:15
patchwork, and bold Mediterranean
00:03:18
inspired designs.
00:03:22
It was founded on the concept of
00:03:23
upcycling, starting with a jacket made
00:03:25
from reassembled patches of used denim.
00:03:27
So, it's old [ __ ] that they threw
00:03:29
together and then sold to you at a
00:03:31
premium.
00:03:31
>> Mhm.
00:03:32
>> Yeah. I mean,
00:03:33
>> brilliant.
00:03:34
>> Conceptually, it's cool. It's just I
00:03:36
think they're using the wrong patterns.
00:03:37
>> Execution.
00:03:38
>> Yeah. The execution is bad. I think the
00:03:40
idea is good.
00:03:41
>> It is very
00:03:42
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:03:42
>> But they've
00:03:43
>> like I can take this right and then this
00:03:46
and put it into a shirt, but necessarily
00:03:48
it doesn't look good. Doesn't look good
00:03:49
like that.
00:03:49
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got to find the
00:03:51
right combination. I think
00:03:52
>> you haven't found your groove. The
00:03:54
emperor has yet to find his new groove.
00:03:55
>> I'll keep trying.
00:03:56
>> But it was incredible time up in
00:03:57
Sacramento.
00:03:58
>> Incredible.
00:03:59
>> And then you immediately come home and
00:04:00
you jumped on a flight to go across the
00:04:02
country once again. You you you got to
00:04:04
be
00:04:05
>> I'm exhausted.
00:04:06
>> You're Airhart, dog. You're flying all
00:04:07
over the place.
00:04:08
>> Well, also it's like um so we finish the
00:04:10
show Saturday and then I get we fly back
00:04:12
that night
00:04:13
>> and then I show up to the airport pretty
00:04:15
early and then five hour delay. Five
00:04:18
hour.
00:04:18
>> Yeah.
00:04:19
>> I'm going home.
00:04:20
>> TSA.
00:04:20
>> Yeah. So, I'm sitting there at the
00:04:22
airport. Had had not slept.
00:04:24
>> Went to Philly. Then shoot.
00:04:27
>> Are they still on strike? Or is it bad
00:04:29
on the way back?
00:04:30
>> It It's bad.
00:04:32
>> Really?
00:04:32
>> Oh, it's bad. Yeah.
00:04:33
>> Hit Houston really hard still for weeks.
00:04:35
It's 5 hour wait. I don't care about
00:04:36
Houston. But yeah, but out here
00:04:39
>> I told Honey to buy me 5,000 smart
00:04:42
waters, which is what we're doing.
00:04:44
>> Mhm.
00:04:44
>> 5,000.
00:04:45
>> Yeah.
00:04:45
>> Smart. Why do you you like smart water?
00:04:47
>> No. No. It's not that I like it. It's
00:04:48
just that um I have this fear that the
00:04:50
world is ending,
00:04:52
>> right?
00:04:52
>> So, I'm going to get seeds. I'm going to
00:04:53
do the whole thing.
00:04:54
>> You You're going to get seeds. What kind
00:04:56
of seeds?
00:04:56
>> Sunflower,
00:04:58
>> barbecue, ranch.
00:04:58
>> That's all you need to eat.
00:05:01
>> No, I mean to plant
00:05:02
>> to plant to plant. Sunflower.
00:05:05
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:05:05
>> You could chew on those for days.
00:05:06
>> Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to get that. You
00:05:07
know what I mean? Chili lime. The the
00:05:10
Hispanic one. I like those.
00:05:11
>> If you plant those, maybe a chili land
00:05:13
sunflower seed will
00:05:13
>> just just a Mexican guy grows in your
00:05:15
backyard.
00:05:16
What I'm going to do is I'm going to
00:05:17
convert my backyard because I have the
00:05:19
um that that um not asphalt but the fake
00:05:21
grass. What do you call that?
00:05:23
>> Fake grass.
00:05:23
>> Is that what I call it?
00:05:24
>> I think so.
00:05:25
>> I mean, what do they call it?
00:05:26
>> I mean turf.
00:05:27
>> Turf.
00:05:27
>> Yeah,
00:05:27
>> I have turf. I'm going to take that out.
00:05:29
Put real American soil on there.
00:05:32
>> American soil.
00:05:32
>> Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to put American
00:05:34
soil on there, man. I'm going to get
00:05:35
American seeds.
00:05:36
>> You know what I mean? I'm not growing
00:05:38
hummus.
00:05:43
>> I'm growing hummus, dude.
00:05:44
>> Okay.
00:05:44
>> You know what I mean? American [ __ ]
00:05:46
Tomatoes.
00:05:46
>> That's a net joke.
00:05:48
>> That's a Netanyahu joke.
00:05:49
>> Yeah, it is.
00:05:49
>> No, it's not, dude.
00:05:50
>> Yeah. Okay.
00:05:51
>> Yeah. I'm not doing that. I'm not doing
00:05:53
[ __ ] Goya. Is Goya. It's Goya thing.
00:05:56
>> What is Goya? I don't know.
00:05:57
>> Okay.
00:05:58
>> It just sounds like a Greek thing. I
00:05:59
don't know. Is Hispanic? Yeah. I'm not
00:06:02
only American. You know what I mean?
00:06:04
Vegetables and
00:06:05
>> hot dogs. Cheese.
00:06:06
>> You can't grow hot dogs.
00:06:07
>> Pretzels.
00:06:08
>> No. No. I'm growing vegetables and
00:06:10
fruits.
00:06:10
>> Well, you don't grow hummus either.
00:06:12
>> You don't grow hummus. Chickpeas.
00:06:14
>> It's a bean.
00:06:14
>> It's chickpeas.
00:06:15
>> It's a chickpea. We're How do you get
00:06:16
chickpeas?
00:06:17
>> You grow it.
00:06:17
>> Exactly. That's what I'm saying. No
00:06:18
chickpeas.
00:06:19
>> No chickpeas in our house.
00:06:21
>> Not Well, no. I mean, I'll eat it like
00:06:22
if I'm with, you know.
00:06:23
>> No, it's American. We're not doing that.
00:06:25
>> No, I love hummus, but I'm just saying.
00:06:27
>> All right.
00:06:28
>> I do love hummus. But
00:06:29
>> But look, chickpeas are very easy to
00:06:30
grow.
00:06:31
>> Nutrient-dense and drought tolerant
00:06:33
legumes that thrive in warm weather,
00:06:34
maturing in 90 days.
00:06:35
>> All right, I'll get chickpeas. I'll do
00:06:38
I'll do chickpeas.
00:06:38
>> We'll be hummus boys.
00:06:39
>> Yeah, we'll be hummus boys. But I just
00:06:41
think that I have this fear that
00:06:43
something's about to happen. So I'm
00:06:45
going to Y2K this.
00:06:46
>> So you think a global
00:06:47
>> is that the right?
00:06:48
>> Yes.
00:06:48
>> Y2K. Yeah.
00:06:49
>> And you know what happened there?
00:06:50
Nothing.
00:06:51
>> Yeah. I know.
00:06:52
>> So it's going to be the same result.
00:06:53
>> It doesn't matter though because it
00:06:54
could have happened.
00:06:55
>> The global food source will be depleted
00:06:56
in your opinion in the next couple of
00:06:58
years. We're about to run out something.
00:06:59
>> The straight herus is closed. We don't
00:07:01
know when that is going to open up. So
00:07:02
it's
00:07:02
>> Well, just make it crooked then. Crooked
00:07:04
the hermoose if we can.
00:07:05
>> Yeah.
00:07:05
>> Stop straightening that thing out.
00:07:07
>> Yeah. You know what I should have done?
00:07:09
What I should have done
00:07:12
should have done. I'm so tired. Um,
00:07:15
>> you know, 200 years ago, they should
00:07:16
just widen that thing. But they they
00:07:18
have more foresight.
00:07:19
>> You know what I mean? But I'm like, hey,
00:07:20
you we could make it wider.
00:07:23
>> What? The straight.
00:07:25
>> Yeah. Wider.
00:07:26
>> Be good.
00:07:27
>> Bigger.
00:07:28
>> Yeah.
00:07:28
>> Yeah.
00:07:29
>> You should have been a civil engineer.
00:07:31
>> I know.
00:07:31
>> I watched Plurbus again last night and
00:07:33
that is literally what we're kind of
00:07:34
what we're talking about.
00:07:35
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:07:36
>> Did you finish it?
00:07:37
>> Mhm.
00:07:37
>> Gosh, it's pretty good. I got one left.
00:07:39
I think
00:07:39
>> it's a really good show,
00:07:40
>> but we got to watch it in chunks because
00:07:41
it's anxietyinducing. So, I can't get
00:07:43
through the whole thing at once.
00:07:44
>> You have no anxiety,
00:07:45
>> huh?
00:07:46
>> You have no anxiety?
00:07:47
>> I have all of it
00:07:47
>> about the world.
00:07:48
>> Oh. Oh. About the world? Yeah.
00:07:50
>> No, I'm comfortable, dude. I'm
00:07:52
comfortably numb.
00:07:53
>> Oh, you're numb.
00:07:54
>> Like the song?
00:07:54
>> Yeah.
00:07:55
>> I
00:07:57
have become comfortably
00:07:59
>> comfortably numb.
00:08:01
>> Good. It's a good song.
00:08:02
>> Yeah, you nailed it.
00:08:03
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, the doomsday
00:08:05
clock January 27th, 2026, as of this
00:08:07
year, was set at 85 seconds to midnight.
00:08:09
Closest the clock has ever been to
00:08:11
midnight in its history. Wow.
00:08:12
>> Well, speed it up. Push the seconds
00:08:14
over. Let's have fun.
00:08:15
>> Yeah. There's a lot of anxiety I feel in
00:08:17
the world. I think maybe I'm just like,
00:08:18
you know, I mean, a sensitive guy and I
00:08:19
just can feel things. But like, you
00:08:21
know, when you walk into a coffee shop
00:08:23
and you look at somebody, right? What's
00:08:25
wrong?
00:08:26
>> I'm a sensitive guy. I can feel things.
00:08:29
>> You're an empath. Is that what you
00:08:31
you're thinking?
00:08:32
>> Well, I'm dating a witch. You are
00:08:33
dating.
00:08:34
>> Yeah. So it rubs off on me.
00:08:35
>> I know. My eye I I can't I can't see out
00:08:38
of my right eye. What are you guys
00:08:39
doing?
00:08:39
>> Yeah. Yeah. Like she she told me the
00:08:42
other night that she can see into the
00:08:43
future and stuff like that.
00:08:45
>> What does she see?
00:08:46
>> She goes she stopped doing it because
00:08:48
it's like too much. She gets tired.
00:08:52
>> That's a reason.
00:08:53
>> I mean she got taught it. You know what
00:08:54
I mean? Not also not just look into the
00:08:56
future like like look into people's and
00:08:58
communicate with like spirits and stuff,
00:08:59
right? And she's like, "It's
00:09:04
>> I could run a three-minute mile, but I
00:09:05
just don't want to do it."
00:09:06
>> Yeah. Yeah. No, but it
00:09:07
>> I just don't feel like doing it. But I
00:09:09
can.
00:09:10
>> That's pretty much it.
00:09:10
>> Yeah. It's ridiculous.
00:09:11
>> That's not ridiculous. You can do it,
00:09:12
but you just won't.
00:09:13
>> No, you literally can't.
00:09:15
>> You can though.
00:09:15
>> Physical limitation.
00:09:16
>> Can you a threeminute mile? No.
00:09:18
>> Okay.
00:09:18
>> No, nobody can.
00:09:19
>> Okay. No one can ride do a three-minute
00:09:22
mile.
00:09:24
>> Not you or me.
00:09:25
>> I know. But there are people out in the
00:09:26
world that can.
00:09:27
>> Yeah. Maybe like Mafongo Babango. Yeah.
00:09:29
Yeah. Mafunga mong. He can
00:09:31
>> do it. Well, the girl that I'm dating is
00:09:33
the mafunga mafongo of witches.
00:09:34
>> No human has ever run a 3-minute mile.
00:09:36
>> Okay,
00:09:37
>> wait a minute. She said she could look
00:09:38
into the future. I need to hear the
00:09:39
rest.
00:09:39
>> Not the future. It's more like um she
00:09:41
can um
00:09:44
see things, communicate with spirits,
00:09:46
and see things in the past. And um
00:09:49
>> that's the opposite.
00:09:53
>> She's going the wrong way.
00:09:54
>> She's Oh, yeah.
00:09:55
>> She's She's in Wait, dude. She's in that
00:09:57
other universe. communicating and she's
00:09:59
going backwards and they're like the
00:10:01
information's up here.
00:10:03
She took
00:10:04
>> I don't know why you guys are laughing
00:10:06
at this, you know, I mean, religion.
00:10:08
>> It's it's absolutely mindboggling,
00:10:12
>> dude. [ __ ] you.
00:10:15
>> It's absolutely mindboggling that you
00:10:18
would take one's religion and mock it.
00:10:21
Witches and magic practitioners often
00:10:23
use divination such as tarot runes or
00:10:27
scrying.
00:10:28
>> She's crying all the time, dog.
00:10:29
>> She's crying.
00:10:30
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One time her dog
00:10:33
actually started crying.
00:10:35
>> Do I believe
00:10:36
>> they they cry different? They cry.
00:10:38
>> Oh, they cry.
00:10:38
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They don't. Yeah. It's
00:10:40
even more painful.
00:10:41
>> Yeah. Yeah. So
00:10:43
>> they float when they cry. They cry.
00:10:44
>> Yeah. So, you know, to We live in a
00:10:47
country where we have freedom of
00:10:49
religion.
00:10:49
>> That's right, baby. best country in the
00:10:51
world.
00:10:51
>> And for you to mock one's religion is to
00:10:54
me absurd and offending.
00:10:55
>> Time out.
00:10:56
>> It offend It offends me.
00:10:58
>> You're allowed to have the freedom to
00:11:00
religion to any religion.
00:11:02
>> Yeah.
00:11:02
>> I have the freedom of speech to mock
00:11:04
your religion.
00:11:05
>> Which religion is this?
00:11:06
>> Yeah.
00:11:06
>> Which witchcraft? Witchcraft is a
00:11:09
religion.
00:11:09
>> It is a religion.
00:11:10
>> But I have the freedom of speech.
00:11:11
>> Buddhism is a religion, is it not?
00:11:13
>> Yeah, it is. But we can mock it. That's
00:11:15
the whole point of freedom of speech.
00:11:16
>> Wikah. Like how
00:11:17
>> Wiccans.
00:11:18
>> Yeah. Wiccans. Yeah.
00:11:18
>> Jetski grew up.
00:11:19
>> Yeah. But you know
00:11:21
>> what you're saying is contradictory in
00:11:22
of itself. If it's protected religion,
00:11:24
then so is speech. So we can make fun of
00:11:25
it. That's the point.
00:11:26
>> But it's kind of my religion.
00:11:27
>> It's not yours.
00:11:28
>> I know.
00:11:30
>> I know it's not. But I want to defend
00:11:33
the right
00:11:34
>> that people have the right to have their
00:11:35
own religion
00:11:36
>> and people have the right and I'll
00:11:37
defend.
00:11:37
>> And you're laughing. You guys are
00:11:38
laughing as if like it's not real.
00:11:40
>> No. Could be.
00:11:41
>> No. No. We're laughing.
00:11:42
>> It could be.
00:11:42
>> We're laughing because it's real.
00:11:44
>> That's the god she believes.
00:11:46
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:11:46
>> Yeah. That's the goat god.
00:11:47
>> Yeah. And tell me,
00:11:49
>> I've seen that guy on Labraa before.
00:11:51
>> Yeah. Now tell me, Carlos, you you were
00:11:53
at the drawing room at 1:30 in the
00:11:55
morning and you saw that.
00:11:58
>> Yeah. In Los Felis at the drawing room
00:12:00
at 1:30, right, Makone?
00:12:01
>> Yeah. At the end of the [ __ ] bar.
00:12:03
You've seen her or whatever that is.
00:12:05
>> Hey, can I get a drink?
00:12:07
>> You buy me a drink.
00:12:08
>> Somebody buy that girl a drink.
00:12:10
>> I walked here from Echo Park.
00:12:14
>> You know, the horned goat lives in Echo
00:12:16
Park. I I got a great one bed, one bath.
00:12:20
>> What else does she tell you about the
00:12:21
future? Did she tell us what's coming?
00:12:22
Has she given you any insight?
00:12:24
>> Well, you remember I told you that I
00:12:25
found your name in my freezer, right?
00:12:27
>> She was putting it in there.
00:12:28
>> No, that's not Did I tell you that?
00:12:31
>> You told me. She made you put it in
00:12:32
there to cool me off.
00:12:33
>> Yeah. Yeah. To cool you off. Yeah. Yeah.
00:12:34
Yeah. Yeah.
00:12:36
>> It didn't work.
00:12:37
>> No.
00:12:37
>> You're hot.
00:12:38
>> The freezer spell involving your name is
00:12:40
typically used in witchcraft to blind
00:12:41
stop or banish a person from causing
00:12:43
trouble.
00:12:44
>> Exactly. That's what I was doing.
00:12:45
>> Freezing their negative actions or cold
00:12:46
was banishing you, dude.
00:12:47
>> Didn't work.
00:12:48
>> I know it didn't work. You're I know. I
00:12:50
realize that. I realize that you're
00:12:52
unbanishable. Also, I realize that, you
00:12:53
know, I mean,
00:12:54
>> you can't be binded.
00:12:55
>> You can't bind me.
00:12:57
>> Like in Lord of the Rings, that ring.
00:12:59
No. Nothing on you. No bind.
00:13:01
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what race
00:13:02
you are in that world, dude. But you
00:13:04
cannot be bound to that ring.
00:13:05
>> Unbound.
00:13:05
>> You're unbound. Yeah. So, that didn't
00:13:07
work. You can be stopped.
00:13:09
>> You could be stopped. You know what I
00:13:10
mean? But it would take like, you know,
00:13:11
I mean, a Russian army, I think, to stop
00:13:13
you. So,
00:13:14
>> don't tempt those guys cuz they'll do
00:13:15
it. So witchcraft to bind, stop or
00:13:18
banish.
00:13:18
>> Yeah, banish.
00:13:19
>> Two, three of those you can't do to
00:13:21
Anderson. You know, I tried to freeze
00:13:22
your negativity and it didn't work.
00:13:24
Also, it was in there for like months.
00:13:27
>> It was between um you butcher box
00:13:29
butcher box meat and a frozen pizza.
00:13:33
>> Didn't work.
00:13:34
>> Yeah. I put it between like, you know
00:13:35
what I mean? And then like one day we're
00:13:36
like, "Well, eat a pork chop." And we
00:13:38
lifted it, right? And there was like
00:13:39
Andrew, get a [ __ ] piece of pizza.
00:13:41
>> Just my face.
00:13:42
>> No, just get your name.
00:13:43
>> Oh, yeah.
00:13:44
>> Yeah. And I I ripped it up. I got
00:13:45
>> Oh, you ripped it up.
00:13:47
>> Yeah. Because that vanished.
00:13:48
>> Oh, that's why I was having back pain
00:13:50
that day.
00:13:51
>> Oh, you got black back. Maybe that was
00:13:54
like ow ow.
00:13:55
>> Ow ow ow ow ow.
00:13:57
>> Bind this [ __ ]
00:13:58
>> Unbound.
00:13:59
>> Yeah. But uh you know who is a huge
00:14:02
soccer fan? I just had no idea.
00:14:04
>> Is Gillis.
00:14:05
>> Oh, is he?
00:14:06
>> Uhhuh.
00:14:06
>> Love soccer.
00:14:08
>> Yeah. We were in the van. We had lunch
00:14:10
and um you know I was watching the um
00:14:12
Arsenal Champions League game on my
00:14:14
phone. He's like, "What are you
00:14:15
watching?" And I go, "Arsenal playing,
00:14:17
you know." And he goes, "Fuck Arsenal."
00:14:20
I go, "Fuck you."
00:14:23
>> Of course I would say that cuz I defend
00:14:24
myself.
00:14:24
>> That's your argument.
00:14:25
>> Yeah. That's an argument.
00:14:26
>> That's my argument. Yeah.
00:14:27
>> Yeah. You know me.
00:14:28
>> Who does he follow?
00:14:29
>> Can I just finish our conversation? And
00:14:31
I go, "What' you say to me, man?" He
00:14:33
said, "You said that this Reuben was the
00:14:35
best thing on the menu wasn't." Cuz he
00:14:37
was like, "You got to try the Reuben."
00:14:38
It was okay. Anyway, he's a Manu fan.
00:14:42
>> He's a Manchester United fan.
00:14:44
>> Thank you.
00:14:44
>> And then I asked him like specific
00:14:46
questions. He knew
00:14:47
>> everything. It was I was mindboggled.
00:14:50
>> He's a big sports fan.
00:14:51
>> No, but he was like, I've been following
00:14:52
them since I was a kid or whatever. I
00:14:54
even historically I was asking him
00:14:55
questions. And Gillis is a Manu fan. So
00:14:58
is Give me Give me another comic that's
00:14:59
a Manu fan. Do you know?
00:15:01
>> Uh I feel like we do know someone that's
00:15:03
a Manu fan. They have the They have
00:15:04
tatted on them. Oh, Ian Edwards.
00:15:06
>> Yep.
00:15:07
>> Yeah,
00:15:07
>> exactly. He has a tattoo. Doesn't he
00:15:08
have a tattoo?
00:15:09
>> Uh, yeah.
00:15:10
>> Couldn't see it anyway.
00:15:12
>> I knew I could.
00:15:13
>> It was about to come up. Dude, you're so
00:15:15
fast today.
00:15:16
>> There's only one.
00:15:16
>> I'm so tired. You can't be quick today.
00:15:19
>> Okay.
00:15:19
>> Yeah. It's just too, you know,
00:15:22
>> Yeah. It's too You know what I mean? You
00:15:24
talk so fast sometimes. I'm not there.
00:15:26
>> Using the laser gun.
00:15:30
>> It's like those Greenland sharks. You
00:15:32
know those [ __ ] Have we talked
00:15:34
about that?
00:15:35
>> Greenland sharks.
00:15:36
>> Yeah. They they they live to over 400
00:15:38
years old. Some of them 500 years old.
00:15:41
>> Really? The Greenland shark, the uh
00:15:44
longest lived vertebrae on Earth.
00:15:45
Studies estimated live 400 [ __ ]
00:15:47
years. They're found in the cold,
00:15:49
deepest part of the Arctic and North
00:15:51
Atlantic. These shark Hey, is my ex up
00:15:53
there? These sharks grow at a glacial
00:15:55
pace for only 1 centimeter per year,
00:15:57
reaching maturity around 150 years old.
00:15:59
So, they grow up at 150. That's when
00:16:01
they're like an adult.
00:16:02
>> What happened historically 400 years
00:16:03
ago? Just Google that. What do you mean?
00:16:05
Like what happened right from today?
00:16:06
>> From today 400 years ago, a Greenland
00:16:08
shark
00:16:09
>> was born.
00:16:09
>> Just say born.
00:16:11
>> Google.
00:16:11
>> Yeah. Yeah. Google that. I want to see
00:16:12
>> what happened today. 400 years ago.
00:16:13
>> Yeah. What happened today? 400 years ago
00:16:15
or this month.
00:16:16
>> No, just say today.
00:16:17
>> 1526.
00:16:18
>> Uh 14 uh 400 m get hit by a bus. Um
00:16:22
August, what is this? Around 400 years
00:16:24
ago, the first recorded Africans arrived
00:16:26
in English colony of Virginia at Point
00:16:28
Comfort Rutro.
00:16:30
>> Rutro marking a pivotal tragic start to
00:16:33
slavery in North America. Roughly 20s
00:16:35
late people were traded for supplies.
00:16:36
>> Yeah.
00:16:37
>> Uh okay. Okay. Greenland shark. Not a
00:16:40
good time.
00:16:40
>> I KNOW. NOT A GOOD BIRTHDAY. YEAH. TIME.
00:16:42
YEAH. I mean people are on the you know
00:16:44
I mean on the
00:16:46
old baby's born.
00:16:48
>> Wow. Not good.
00:16:49
>> It's not good.
00:16:50
>> Not good.
00:16:51
>> I'm just saying though that they've been
00:16:52
around. I mean imagine there is
00:16:54
something on live today that witness
00:16:56
that not witness. He wasn't online going
00:16:58
oh my god THIS IS AN ATROCITY.
00:17:02
He wasn't like, "I got to check this
00:17:04
out." You know, as a baby, you know what
00:17:05
I mean? But he was still a lot deep in
00:17:07
the ocean born when this [ __ ] was going
00:17:09
on.
00:17:11
>> What are you GUYS DOING?
00:17:12
>> WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING, MAN?
00:17:13
>> ARE YOU GUYS TRADING and buying humans?
00:17:15
I'm going to go back to the depths of
00:17:16
the ocean. That's crazy. Imagine
00:17:19
interviewing one right now on his
00:17:20
deathbed and he's like, "Do you guys
00:17:21
still buy humans?"
00:17:23
>> Like,
00:17:24
>> yeah,
00:17:24
>> that that's what they look like.
00:17:26
>> Yeah, that's what they look like. They
00:17:27
look 400 years.
00:17:28
>> They look old. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:17:29
>> 400 years. That's crazy.
00:17:31
>> Beautiful though.
00:17:32
>> It's beautiful.
00:17:32
>> What's the longest species that What's
00:17:34
the longest age length of a species on
00:17:36
Earth? What species the longest?
00:17:37
>> That one.
00:17:38
>> Yeah, that's it.
00:17:38
>> Longest living vertebrate.
00:17:39
>> Vertebrate. Yeah.
00:17:40
>> Yeah. Vertebrate.
00:17:40
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Longest.
00:17:42
>> I'm sure there are plants or trees that
00:17:43
are longer, do you think?
00:17:45
>> Trees live. Yeah. The longest lived
00:17:47
individual invertebrate uh is the ocean
00:17:49
quahog. A clam that can live over 500
00:17:52
years.
00:17:53
>> No.
00:17:54
>> Wow.
00:17:54
>> Wow.
00:17:55
>> Oh. Or the immortal jellyfish. They put
00:17:57
it right there on the
00:17:58
>> So cl What happened five year 100 years
00:17:59
ago? Google
00:18:03
>> 500 years ago today.
00:18:04
>> Yeah. Yeah. I'm I'm a clam.
00:18:05
>> What did he What did we see?
00:18:06
>> I'm a clam. I'm We're clams. We're
00:18:08
clams.
00:18:08
>> What did we What did we see? What did we
00:18:09
see?
00:18:10
>> So, tell us what the world was like.
00:18:12
Well, it was shaped by the height of the
00:18:13
prot the Protestant Reformation,
00:18:15
expansion of Spanish Empire. Boo.
00:18:17
>> And the flowering of the Italian
00:18:19
Renaissance. Yay.
00:18:20
>> Oh, this be this painting is beautiful.
00:18:22
>> Gorgeous.
00:18:24
>> A clam today was just like, wow, look at
00:18:26
the artistry.
00:18:27
>> Well, look at that for me. So, a clam
00:18:29
saw me.
00:18:30
>> Whoa. On the beach saw me.
00:18:32
>> Yeah.
00:18:33
>> Yeah.
00:18:33
>> What is he doing?
00:18:34
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or me. I'm
00:18:36
I'm more of a Columbus guy.
00:18:38
>> No.
00:18:40
>> Right.
00:18:41
>> Yeah.
00:18:41
>> You know what I mean?
00:18:42
>> Yeah.
00:18:42
>> Yeah. You're happy about Mellin. No. Uh
00:18:44
>> I like I like Columbus.
00:18:46
>> That was their soccer teams back then.
00:18:47
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:18:48
>> Are you a diehard Columbus fan? I'm a
00:18:49
Mellin guy. The Inca civilization at its
00:18:52
peak in South America stretching from
00:18:53
modern day Colombia to Chile just before
00:18:55
the Spanish conquest in 1533. Another
00:18:57
bad thing you've done. So basically what
00:18:58
we're finding out through the history of
00:19:00
invertebrates and vertebrates is you
00:19:02
guys are no good.
00:19:03
>> Pieces of [ __ ]
00:19:04
>> Pieces of [ __ ]
00:19:04
>> Well in the Philippines you guys. Oh my
00:19:06
god.
00:19:07
>> Oh my god. What did you do?
00:19:11
>> You lapu.
00:19:12
>> Okay. So Google zoom in real fast. I
00:19:13
immortal jellyfish. A glass sponge lives
00:19:16
up to 15,000 years.
00:19:18
>> Whoa. What? 15,000 years.
00:19:21
>> What happened 15,000 years ago?
00:19:24
>> I'm a GL. We're We're glass sponges.
00:19:29
>> We're We're glass sponges.
00:19:30
>> All right. Around 15,000 years ago.
00:19:31
>> BE A GLASS. YEAH. Be a glass sponge,
00:19:33
dude.
00:19:33
>> The world was transitioning out of the
00:19:34
last ice age, bringing warming climate,
00:19:36
producing glaciers.
00:19:37
>> Man, IS IT GETTING WARMER?
00:19:40
>> I CAN FEEL MY TOES.
00:19:41
>> I CAN FEEL MY TOES FINALLY, DUDE.
00:19:42
>> WHOA, DUDE.
00:19:43
>> HUMANS BEGIN transitioning from purely
00:19:45
nomadic foraging to living in
00:19:46
semi-permanent settlements.
00:19:48
>> Yeah. What? Oh, they are.
00:19:50
>> And the suburbs were born. No, I'm
00:19:51
kidding.
00:19:52
>> The use of clay for artistic expression
00:19:53
began. beads, pendants rather than
00:19:55
utility. Children and adults were
00:19:56
shaping clay reflecting a forgotten
00:19:58
chapter in social development.
00:20:00
>> Wow.
00:20:00
>> It is cool to be the first person.
00:20:01
>> WHAT DO YOU CALL that hammer?
00:20:04
>> We witnessed.
00:20:05
>> Yeah, we saw a hammer.
00:20:06
>> We saw a hammer, dude. And getting
00:20:07
invented. That's insane.
00:20:08
>> Hammer in the morning.
00:20:08
>> Is that insane?
00:20:09
>> There are glass jelly. What are they
00:20:11
called?
00:20:11
>> Glass sponges.
00:20:12
>> Glass.
00:20:13
>> Glass sponges that were around when a
00:20:16
[ __ ] hammer was invented.
00:20:17
>> Wow.
00:20:18
>> Yeah.
00:20:19
>> The same guy.
00:20:20
>> What do you mean?
00:20:21
>> Glass sponge. Same guy today. Same guy
00:20:23
today. Same dude. Yeah. Yeah.
00:20:26
>> Same guy.
00:20:27
>> Same dude is still around.
00:20:30
>> Crazy.
00:20:30
>> Is it boring?
00:20:32
>> I bet he's having a good time.
00:20:33
>> No. No. All he's doing is this.
00:20:35
>> Depends on who's visiting him.
00:20:36
>> Have you done this?
00:20:38
>> How long can you do this?
00:20:39
>> 15,000 years.
00:20:41
>> That's insane. But there's no thought.
00:20:43
There's no
00:20:44
>> This is the funniest thing. He literally
00:20:45
Googled Glass Bunch's daily life. As if
00:20:47
they have like a n, you know, 9 to5.
00:20:49
>> Y'all brought it to life.
00:20:51
>> Yeah. Yeah. Give me daily life of of
00:20:53
>> Bobby. Bobby, he's got the glass sponge
00:20:54
as a get ready with me Tik Tok.
00:20:58
>> Get ready for me to float in the ocean
00:21:00
again.
00:21:00
>> I have the answer.
00:21:02
>> Sitting in one place using their silica
00:21:03
glass uh spicules. Oh, whoops. Sorry. To
00:21:07
filter vast amounts of water for
00:21:08
bacteria and plankton. So, they're
00:21:09
filtering. They're living fossils. They
00:21:11
can live forever and ever and ever. Show
00:21:12
me the video of the glass sponge. I'd
00:21:14
love to take a look. You know, this is
00:21:15
the thing about this show. Is it a poop
00:21:16
fart show? Yeah. But do you learn? You
00:21:18
sure do. I sure do. You
00:21:19
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>> Maybe this thing.
00:24:01
>> Okay.
00:24:02
>> Which is filmer. Well, most sponges are
00:24:05
classified.
00:24:05
>> Is this fancy? Did he do this?
00:24:07
That is the
00:24:08
>> my previous job.
00:24:09
>> Glass sponges are classified in the
00:24:11
class hexakin.
00:24:12
>> They're actually beautiful,
00:24:13
>> dude.
00:24:13
>> They exist in all ocean.
00:24:14
>> Is he a deer?
00:24:15
>> They're Asian and white.
00:24:18
>> The only two colors back there.
00:24:19
>> We started it all.
00:24:20
>> Poor sponges,
00:24:21
>> dude. We started it all. Asians and
00:24:22
whites.
00:24:23
>> And you know why they're so pretty? You
00:24:24
know why, Bob? Cuz they're untouched,
00:24:26
>> right?
00:24:27
>> Cuz no one's [ __ ] with them. That's
00:24:28
why they're pretty.
00:24:29
>> I want to kill one.
00:24:30
>> Okay.
00:24:31
>> Strange life. Survival in the dark
00:24:33
depths.
00:24:33
>> Oh, look at that.
00:24:34
>> They beautiful geometric shapes. They
00:24:36
get to form into the silicon structures
00:24:38
are so well formed that they can
00:24:39
transmit light similar to fiber optics.
00:24:41
Amazing.
00:24:42
>> Yeah, but there here's my argument
00:24:44
against this.
00:24:45
>> Yeah, let's find something negative.
00:24:46
>> I'll say well because the difference
00:24:48
between that and obviously the uh the U
00:24:50
Greenland shark is there's no
00:24:52
consciousness. It doesn't have a brain
00:24:55
>> as far as you know.
00:24:57
>> But it it doesn't like you know I mean
00:24:58
it doesn't have thoughts like you know I
00:24:59
mean you know I mean why did dad leave?
00:25:04
>> Where did all my friends go?
00:25:05
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. or you know what I
00:25:06
mean? Or you know what I mean? God gas
00:25:07
prices are so high. I mean they don't
00:25:09
have thoughts
00:25:10
>> and he's like well they are doing well
00:25:11
you saw what they're doing to Iran.
00:25:12
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean there's no
00:25:14
right. So
00:25:15
>> they're not on Twitter. I get it.
00:25:16
>> Yeah. A Greenland shark. You know I mean
00:25:17
I don't know what they're thinking
00:25:18
about. Probably food first.
00:25:20
>> Food for 400 years.
00:25:21
>> Yeah. Yeah. It's the second Coachella
00:25:23
tickets.
00:25:23
>> No, I'm kidding. That's
00:25:24
>> Do you think they got backstage passes?
00:25:26
>> What?
00:25:26
>> The Greenland sharks got backstage
00:25:27
passes.
00:25:28
>> You think so? It's like when Greenland
00:25:30
shark watching Harry Styles
00:25:34
just popping. No. Uh, so I mean I'm
00:25:37
Greenland shark has a brain and is right
00:25:39
>> hunting in the brains. Greenland shark.
00:25:41
>> All they do is hunt all day.
00:25:42
>> And they have brains, right? So they
00:25:43
have thoughts.
00:25:44
>> They don't think much.
00:25:45
>> How do you know?
00:25:46
>> It says
00:25:47
>> they're instinct. They're they're living
00:25:48
purely by instinct, focusing on slow
00:25:50
motion, scavenging, opportunistic
00:25:51
hunting in the dark. But that every day
00:25:54
is a new day to hunt. So it must be
00:25:56
fascinating to them because they're
00:25:57
approaching new [ __ ] all the time. They
00:25:59
don't stay in the same place. Do they
00:26:00
stay in the same area? Right. I thought
00:26:01
they
00:26:01
>> but also far and wide.
00:26:03
>> Swimmers of their size, they have
00:26:04
stealth mode.
00:26:05
>> Stealth mode.
00:26:06
>> But also this, right? It's like they
00:26:08
have to know what to eat and what not to
00:26:10
eat. So they don't they eat everything.
00:26:12
>> That's instinct. You don't have to know
00:26:13
it.
00:26:13
>> Garbage dispos.
00:26:14
>> It's just like, you know what I mean? A
00:26:15
diet Pepsi can, aluminum can, they eat.
00:26:17
I mean,
00:26:17
>> that's what instinct is. You don't have
00:26:18
to know it.
00:26:19
>> They literally say,
00:26:20
>> so that's not a thought process.
00:26:21
>> Listen, that's an instinct.
00:26:22
>> Despite Despite being apex predators,
00:26:24
they're primarily scavengers or garbage
00:26:26
disposals with diets that include seals,
00:26:28
polar bears, reindeer, anything. They'll
00:26:29
eat anything.
00:26:30
>> Reindeer. They'll eat [ __ ] anything.
00:26:32
>> Reindeer.
00:26:34
>> Yeah. Reindeer.
00:26:36
>> Wait, wait, wait, wait. Where does it
00:26:37
say reindeer?
00:26:39
>> Right there. Right. I just
00:26:40
>> Yeah. Yeah. Go. Where?
00:26:41
>> Reindeer.
00:26:43
>> Reindeer.
00:26:45
>> Santa's after, you know, they drop.
00:26:47
>> Oh, he crashes into the ocean,
00:26:49
>> right? And then Greenland sharks are
00:26:51
like
00:26:52
>> ho ho ho.
00:26:55
>> Every year he kills them.
00:26:56
>> Every 300 years he does this, right? And
00:26:59
he just eats one. Huh?
00:27:01
>> What the [ __ ] is that?
00:27:02
>> That lives on most Greenland sharks.
00:27:05
They just don't care because
00:27:06
>> Oh, on their eyeballs, right? They Yeah,
00:27:08
they I saw a documentary where they live
00:27:10
on the eyeball so they can't even see.
00:27:13
>> Tocoiraidita
00:27:18
is a monotopic genius of corps, a soul
00:27:21
species being. However, the specimen has
00:27:23
been found in the skin of the great
00:27:24
lantern shark, which has been assigned
00:27:26
to the to the genus, but not the
00:27:27
species. But they live in the eyeball.
00:27:30
>> That's amazing.
00:27:31
>> Yeah,
00:27:31
>> that's how much the Greenland shark
00:27:32
does.
00:27:33
>> Both eyes. So, the Greenland shark can't
00:27:34
see. You mean cuz they got little dudes
00:27:37
on their eye.
00:27:37
>> Just clean it out.
00:27:38
>> Well, they have no arms. That's the
00:27:40
problem.
00:27:40
>> They don't have arms.
00:27:41
>> Oh, dude. No.
00:27:42
>> What is going on down there?
00:27:43
>> Yeah.
00:27:44
>> They can't wave or anything.
00:27:45
>> Well, what if one shark
00:27:46
>> They can't even wave to their friends
00:27:47
like, "What's up, dude? I haven't seen
00:27:49
you IN 300 YEARS.
00:27:53
HEY DUDE, I HAVEN'T SEEN you in 350
00:27:54
years.
00:27:56
>> WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, DUDE?
00:27:57
>> OH, I WAS OVER THERE. He says
00:27:58
>> there. They could blow bubbles. What if
00:28:00
they blew bubbles right on the parasites
00:28:02
and got it out of there?
00:28:03
>> Then they can't do it.
00:28:04
>> I mean, I would rub it against like a
00:28:06
rock or something. Can you do that?
00:28:07
>> Yeah,
00:28:08
>> just gently rub it against a rock. But I
00:28:10
guess they don't even know how to do
00:28:11
that.
00:28:11
>> Yeah, they're dumb. They run on into
00:28:13
>> Yeah, they just don't know.
00:28:14
>> They have a brain though.
00:28:15
>> Yeah. Wouldn't the brain tell them to
00:28:16
rub their eye?
00:28:17
>> No.
00:28:18
>> No. Because it's like, you know, you
00:28:20
don't It's so dark down there. Who gives
00:28:22
a [ __ ]
00:28:22
>> Hey, that's what Google says.
00:28:24
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's so dark
00:28:25
down there. You could have whatever on
00:28:27
your eyes.
00:28:27
>> It doesn't matter.
00:28:28
>> I mean, you could put peanut butter on
00:28:29
your eye. It doesn't even matter.
00:28:32
You know,
00:28:32
>> they do have peanut butter down there.
00:28:34
>> Yeah. I know they do a lot.
00:28:35
>> Yeah. But you can do whatever with your
00:28:37
eyes.
00:28:37
>> You know, I mean, they can be Asian down
00:28:38
there. They don't
00:28:40
>> No, they are kind of
00:28:41
>> Yeah. That's not even
00:28:42
>> Asian Greenland shark. That out.
00:28:44
>> No, I'll leave it in.
00:28:44
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:28:45
>> Asian Greenland shark.
00:28:47
>> Wow. Uh, they live forever.
00:28:48
>> They live forever.
00:28:50
>> Who? Okay, let me ask
00:28:51
>> Oh, look at that. He's eating udon right
00:28:52
there.
00:28:53
>> Yeah. Let me ask you, what's the a Don't
00:28:55
Google it yet. What's the apex predator
00:28:57
in the ocean?
00:29:01
>> Probably
00:29:01
>> the one that no one [ __ ] with.
00:29:03
>> The killer whale.
00:29:04
>> That's it, dude. Yeah,
00:29:05
>> you're brilliant. Brilliant.
00:29:07
>> No one can No one can bind him.
00:29:08
>> The killer whale. Isn't that the
00:29:09
>> No one can bind him or banish.
00:29:11
>> Can't be bound.
00:29:11
>> Yeah.
00:29:12
>> Can't be bound. Can't put me in a
00:29:13
freezer.
00:29:13
>> Yeah.
00:29:13
>> Can't put me in a freezer.
00:29:14
>> But yes, it's the orca.
00:29:16
>> It's the orca. Yeah, the killer whale.
00:29:17
killer whale. Dude, those guys are
00:29:18
insane.
00:29:19
>> But not as cool as a sperm whale, which
00:29:21
gets up to the size of like, you know,
00:29:23
three school buses or whatever.
00:29:24
>> Yeah, but an or have you seen an orca
00:29:26
pop his head out and look at you?
00:29:28
>> No.
00:29:29
>> Yeah,
00:29:29
>> I've never had it look at me.
00:29:30
>> Well, I mean, me either. I just saw on
00:29:32
YouTube, but I'm just saying they do it.
00:29:34
>> They'll just pop up right with their one
00:29:37
eye and look at you to see if some it's
00:29:38
something that they want to eat.
00:29:40
>> [ __ ]
00:29:40
>> You know what I mean? And then they go,
00:29:41
"Nah." You know what I mean? And then
00:29:43
they pop back down.
00:29:44
>> Can you imagine being eaten by one of
00:29:46
those things?
00:29:46
>> Oh. Oh yeah,
00:29:47
>> cuz sharks bite, but they don't always
00:29:49
consume. These things eat you whole.
00:29:50
>> Yeah. They're not saying hello there.
00:29:52
They're going, "Can I eat? Should I eat
00:29:54
you?
00:29:54
>> I'm going to eat you."
00:29:55
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:29:56
>> How many people get eaten by orcas every
00:29:57
year?
00:29:57
>> Not a lot.
00:29:58
>> No.
00:29:59
>> Let's guess. Let's guess. Let's guess
00:30:00
before.
00:30:01
>> Seven.
00:30:01
>> You think so?
00:30:02
>> Yeah.
00:30:02
>> I'm going to go 16.
00:30:04
>> Oh, okay. All right. Uh, orcas kill zero
00:30:06
people a year in the wild.
00:30:09
>> No documented cases.
00:30:11
>> Wow. They don't like us. We don't taste
00:30:13
good.
00:30:13
>> Wait a minute. For sure. I feel like
00:30:15
we've heard a story where someone's been
00:30:16
eaten by. While hum while orcas are
00:30:18
powerful apex predators, they do not
00:30:19
view humans as prey.
00:30:20
>> We only taste good to Jeffrey Dmer.
00:30:22
>> That's the only apex predator that we
00:30:25
taste.
00:30:25
>> Sitting in the ocean for a long time
00:30:28
>> waiting for you to take a swim.
00:30:32
>> There have been no confirmed records of
00:30:34
wild orcas killing a human. Not even
00:30:36
researchers that are in the wrong place,
00:30:37
wrong time.
00:30:38
>> How many How many people are killed by
00:30:40
polar bears every year?
00:30:42
>> Let's guess.
00:30:43
>> One. It's got to be more than that
00:30:44
because researchers get killed on act
00:30:46
I'm saying five.
00:30:47
>> Between 1870 and 2014 there were 73
00:30:49
confirmed polar bear attacks resulting
00:30:51
in 20 human deaths
00:30:53
>> in that all that time.
00:30:54
>> Yeah. It's not a lot.
00:30:55
>> That's not a lot.
00:30:55
>> It's not a lot.
00:30:56
>> Yeah.
00:30:56
>> It's not a lot. So it's probably less
00:30:58
than one percentwise.
00:30:59
>> How about dogs?
00:31:00
>> How many people die by dogs every year?
00:31:02
>> Oh my god.
00:31:02
>> That one's got to be high.
00:31:04
>> High. Guess guess
00:31:08
like a hundred.
00:31:09
>> No, I'll say 1,200.
00:31:10
>> Holy [ __ ] That's a lot.
00:31:11
>> Yeah. I think Bob's right.
00:31:13
>> 30 to 50. I was right.
00:31:14
>> Just in the US.
00:31:15
>> Oh, not just US. In the world, we said
00:31:17
>> world
00:31:17
>> 25,000 to three 30,000 human deaths
00:31:20
annually worldwide.
00:31:21
>> I was closer.
00:31:22
>> You were way off. We were way off.
00:31:23
>> I know.
00:31:24
>> The majority of these fatalities are
00:31:26
caused by trans.
00:31:26
>> Well, does that include
00:31:27
>> Oh, rabies virus. People that get
00:31:29
>> ah no, I'm I'm not like, you know, we're
00:31:31
talking about like mauling.
00:31:32
>> M to death is way less.
00:31:33
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:31:34
>> Way less. India accounts for a
00:31:35
significant portion of these deaths
00:31:36
where high populations of stray dogs
00:31:38
contribute to the risk. Right. Those
00:31:40
videos you see, there's just dogs
00:31:41
literally. There's like every human
00:31:43
there's another dog next to them.
00:31:44
>> Yeah. Dingo uh probably kill people,
00:31:48
too.
00:31:48
>> They don't. It's a lie.
00:31:49
>> Dingo.
00:31:50
>> No, that was like an old weird You know,
00:31:51
the dingo ate your babies of falsity.
00:31:53
>> Okay.
00:31:53
>> The dingoes are just like small dogs.
00:31:55
>> Oh, they are?
00:31:56
>> Yeah. They're little little tiny. You
00:31:57
didn't see one when we were over there?
00:31:58
>> I start dingo.
00:32:00
>> God, I love dingoes.
00:32:02
I love me dingo. My You're going back to
00:32:05
Australia. Are you excited? You're going
00:32:06
to go see our boys Brad and Shrimp?
00:32:08
>> Yeah. I can't wait.
00:32:10
>> It's going to be fun down there.
00:32:11
>> Um
00:32:13
Okay. Well, that's all all our um
00:32:16
>> animal talk.
00:32:17
>> Well, no. I mean, because I've been
00:32:19
because instead of um the war, I've been
00:32:21
trying to like get my algorithm to
00:32:22
change to more animal.
00:32:24
>> I've only been watching war.
00:32:25
>> Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to do it more
00:32:26
animal, you know, around the world. So,
00:32:28
it's like, you know,
00:32:29
>> trying to change my algorithm on my Tik
00:32:31
Tok because it depresses me,
00:32:33
>> you know. Open up your TikTok right now.
00:32:35
What's the first video that you have up
00:32:36
there?
00:32:37
>> I don't want to.
00:32:39
All right. What's your
00:32:39
>> I want to see what my algorithm is. Sean
00:32:41
Penn and Zack Alfan
00:32:43
>> rentree in my mind. I'm going to be 37
00:32:46
this year. And I like to think about
00:32:49
when my parents were 37.
00:32:51
>> Like stuff like that.
00:32:52
>> Yeah. Sick of Greenland shark on her.
00:32:54
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:32:55
>> Let me just Yeah. I'll open up and let
00:32:56
me hear what this says then. Ready?
00:32:58
>> Yeah.
00:32:59
>> Just here and I'll see.
00:33:03
>> Oh, it's a guy jumping off of a cliff
00:33:05
doing in skydiving.
00:33:06
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:33:09
We're in LA trying supposedly the best
00:33:11
shawarma in the city.
00:33:14
>> Kill yourself. Everything is kill
00:33:15
yourself. Jesus Christ.
00:33:16
>> And whenever you hear those like Tik
00:33:17
Toks, I go
00:33:19
>> and I never I I disagree.
00:33:21
>> Every time I disagree. I've never went,
00:33:23
"Yeah, that guy was right. This is the
00:33:24
best burrito." No, I've never happened.
00:33:26
Well, that's like I saw one today that
00:33:27
was uh uh boiled hamburgers from 1903
00:33:33
and like they live, you know, I was like
00:33:34
doing an advertisement for this place
00:33:37
and pets. That's it. Boiled hamburgers
00:33:39
in in Wisconsin. Look at the video of
00:33:41
them boiling a hamburger. This guy can't
00:33:43
even explain. That's not it. I wish that
00:33:44
was the video.
00:33:45
>> The guy can't even explain. They were
00:33:48
like, "What do they taste like?" And
00:33:49
he's like, "Well, good." He couldn't
00:33:51
even tell you.
00:33:52
>> Yeah.
00:33:52
>> Boiled.
00:33:53
>> Oh my god, that sounds soggy. So soggy.
00:33:56
>> Oh my god.
00:33:57
>> There it is. Right there. Do that one.
00:33:58
Seven. Celebrating down. Celebrating 115
00:34:00
years of boiled.
00:34:01
>> Yeah. This is the guy.
00:34:03
>> This guy right here.
00:34:03
>> No, no, no. That's the new
00:34:05
>> He looks like a boiled hand.
00:34:06
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:34:08
>> The firefighters the burgers and from
00:34:10
there
00:34:10
>> they pour water on them the whole time.
00:34:12
>> Oh, what you're saying is that they
00:34:13
don't boil the bun.
00:34:15
>> They boil the burger.
00:34:18
>> I thought you said I thought you thought
00:34:19
a hamburger. No. No. Stop. Push. Pause.
00:34:22
Okay.
00:34:22
>> Boil the bun.
00:34:23
>> You just lied.
00:34:25
WHAT? YOU LIED. What are you talking
00:34:27
about?
00:34:27
>> A hamburger is with the bun as well.
00:34:31
So, you're saying they boil the patty?
00:34:34
>> Yes, that's the point.
00:34:35
>> Well, then just say patty.
00:34:36
>> They also don't boil the the cheese or
00:34:38
the lettuce.
00:34:40
>> That's what I thought, though. Well,
00:34:42
then that's not a hamburger. What?
00:34:44
>> Are you the dumbest guy alive?
00:34:46
>> No. No. Are you a liar?
00:34:47
>> When I just said it's called a boiled
00:34:50
hamburger, that's what it's called.
00:34:52
>> Okay, now I'm getting the context of it.
00:34:54
So, the meat I'm sorry, I'm tired. Don't
00:34:56
even Don't try to like backtrack.
00:34:58
>> I'm not backtracking out of it, dude. I
00:35:00
need to defend my [ __ ] life here,
00:35:01
dude. Please.
00:35:02
>> All right. It's just in my mind, it's
00:35:03
like they boil the hamburger. Now, in my
00:35:06
mind, you envision a hamburger,
00:35:09
>> right? Which Let me finish.
00:35:11
>> You envision A HAMBURGER FULLY COOKED.
00:35:12
LET ME FINISH. Let me finish.
00:35:14
>> And then they boiled it.
00:35:15
>> Yeah. Yeah. So, they So, they put the
00:35:17
[ __ ] bread down. That's how you put
00:35:18
the meat, right? Then onions, cheese,
00:35:21
you mean relish, ketchup, right? And
00:35:23
more bread, right? And then they boil
00:35:25
the whole thing.
00:35:25
>> That's what you thought a boil.
00:35:26
>> In my mind, I'm like, it's so soggy.
00:35:28
>> Oh my god, dude.
00:35:30
>> So, if they boil the meat, that doesn't
00:35:32
sound that bad.
00:35:33
>> It looks Look at it. That looks
00:35:35
disgusting.
00:35:36
>> Okay.
00:35:36
>> Sloppy. It looks like a It looks like
00:35:38
>> I mean, it's better than boiling the
00:35:40
whole thing.
00:35:40
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Shouldn't boil the
00:35:43
whole thing.
00:35:44
>> So good.
00:35:45
>> Yeah.
00:35:45
>> Press play. Watch him smash it in the
00:35:47
water.
00:35:47
>> Okay.
00:35:48
>> I mean, it's it's ludicrous.
00:35:51
>> Was that Is that dumb of me? Really?
00:35:52
Yes.
00:35:54
>> No, I don't think so.
00:35:55
>> Yeah.
00:35:57
>> Look. Look at that. Look at that. Press
00:35:59
play. Smashing it in the water. That
00:36:01
looks disgusting.
00:36:04
>> Oh god. Dude,
00:36:06
>> can you push pause for a second, please?
00:36:08
Can I defend this?
00:36:09
>> Can I still try to defend it?
00:36:11
>> Sure. Wiggle your way out of this one.
00:36:12
>> Um, sometimes, cuz this is 115 years
00:36:15
he's been doing it, right?
00:36:16
>> Right.
00:36:17
>> Did Did they not say that?
00:36:18
>> Mhm.
00:36:19
>> Okay. So, sometimes this. All right.
00:36:20
Just listen to my logic, please. Yeah,
00:36:22
>> before you like mock me and laugh.
00:36:25
>> I already laughed.
00:36:25
>> All right. So, because if you do, your
00:36:27
name gets back into the
00:36:30
>> All right. I will I will try to banish
00:36:32
you again, dude. Where's mine? Anyway,
00:36:35
>> expellious Asianist.
00:36:37
>> All right. So, just can you just listen
00:36:39
to my theory here? Sometimes you have to
00:36:41
think about it in context.
00:36:43
>> Okay.
00:36:43
>> It's everything.
00:36:44
>> It's everything, right? So, it's like,
00:36:46
you know, people go um you know, like
00:36:49
music from the 60s, right? I put it in
00:36:51
context like this is the beginning of
00:36:53
you know I mean stages of rock and roll
00:36:55
you know what I mean and so when you're
00:36:57
listening to it you listen to it with
00:36:58
that context right it's not as well
00:37:01
produced as like a Harry Styles album
00:37:03
for instance or whatever right so it's
00:37:05
like when you go to Filipe's downtown
00:37:07
>> love great right right great right but
00:37:09
you put in the context that this has
00:37:11
been around for so long and they haven't
00:37:13
really changed their menu that much so
00:37:15
you eat it with that context like oh my
00:37:17
god this is like you know I mean the
00:37:19
same as it was in the ' 40s
00:37:21
And it's cool.
00:37:22
>> Greenland shark might have had this.
00:37:23
>> Yeah.
00:37:25
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or those clams. Right.
00:37:27
So what I'm saying Yeah. So what I'm
00:37:29
saying is these boiled hamburgers is the
00:37:31
same thing. It's like a nostalgia thing.
00:37:33
It's a context thing. You and I
00:37:35
>> when they boiled bread back then.
00:37:43
>> I just
00:37:45
All right.
00:37:49
He thought they made the cheeseburger
00:37:52
and then they boiled it.
00:37:55
>> IT'S INSANE.
00:37:57
>> I KNOW. I I KNOW. NOW, ALL RIGHT. NOW,
00:37:59
OKAY, NOW THAT OKAY, now that I think
00:38:01
about it,
00:38:02
>> by the way, I agreed with him when he
00:38:03
goes, "It's got to be soggy." I go,
00:38:04
"Yeah." I'm thinking, "Yeah, the meat's
00:38:06
got to be soggy." BUT I WAS
00:38:07
>> HE'S LIKE, "NO, the whole thing is
00:38:09
soggy."
00:38:11
>> And you know what? bad friends at home.
00:38:13
Somebody please make a boiled hamburger
00:38:15
and send us a video of you boiling an
00:38:17
entire hamburger and send it to Carlos
00:38:18
in the booth.com.
00:38:20
>> Anyway, we, you know, went to Lor's
00:38:25
>> Lies.
00:38:27
>> You said it like a southern black man.
00:38:31
We're down in Lis.
00:38:33
>> You know me and Lis. I love Lis.
00:38:36
>> Have you been to Lis?
00:38:38
>> Lowries? Yeah. Yeah. Lis.
00:38:40
>> Have you been there? Oh, I am.
00:38:41
>> Yeah.
00:38:42
>> So, do you know what Lor's is?
00:38:44
>> Right.
00:38:45
>> Have you ever had had the seasoned salt?
00:38:48
Lies
00:38:48
>> Lowry seasoning salt. You know that
00:38:50
restaurant.
00:38:51
>> So, the same year, check out this
00:38:53
information.
00:38:54
>> Larry,
00:38:54
>> right? The same year that he developed
00:38:57
the salt. You mean the guy that invented
00:38:59
the salt opened a restaurant in LA
00:39:01
called Lis on Loiaga.
00:39:04
>> I could listen to you say it all day.
00:39:07
>> He opened up Lis. Oh, so this is day
00:39:10
seven of me not smoking cigarettes.
00:39:12
>> Wow. You made it.
00:39:14
>> So a week of no smoking.
00:39:16
>> I'm so proud of you.
00:39:17
>> So,
00:39:18
>> but wait, you went to Lowry's,
00:39:19
>> right? And so, you know,
00:39:21
>> like cow. Yeah. Yeah. Went to Li. Yeah.
00:39:24
>> Who that? Cali.
00:39:25
>> Anyway, um
00:39:27
went to Law's and she's like, "What?"
00:39:29
She goes, "There's these, you know, the
00:39:31
tin."
00:39:32
>> Yeah.
00:39:33
>> What? Explain it then.
00:39:34
>> I've been to Lowry's.
00:39:34
>> What is it then?
00:39:35
>> The tin?
00:39:36
>> When I say tin, what do you mean
00:39:37
>> the tin?
00:39:38
>> No. What does that mean? You know,
00:39:40
>> when they cart out the tent.
00:39:41
>> Yeah. Yes.
00:39:42
>> Yeah.
00:39:42
>> Yes. Exactly.
00:39:43
>> I've been there.
00:39:43
>> So, you know what you're talking about.
00:39:45
>> I've been there. I told you four times.
00:39:47
>> By the way, by the way, I've been there
00:39:48
and then I never went back.
00:39:51
>> I don't like it.
00:39:52
>> I like it.
00:39:52
>> You do,
00:39:53
>> dude. It's also 60% Asians that go
00:39:55
there.
00:39:55
>> Well, that's why I don't go.
00:39:56
>> Yeah, we love it.
00:39:58
>> Yeah. And
00:39:59
>> once a once a race takes over a place,
00:40:01
I'm out.
00:40:01
>> Okay. Well, that's crazy.
00:40:03
>> I want it diverse.
00:40:04
>> Okay. So, anyway, we go to Lars.
00:40:06
>> You like that? I backed right into it.
00:40:07
Right. Right. Wiggled my way out.
00:40:09
>> You wiggle your way out.
00:40:10
>> Escape room. Racial escape room.
00:40:11
>> Yeah.
00:40:12
>> I don't like it when there's too many
00:40:13
Asians cuz I like IT MORE DIVERSE.
00:40:16
>> ALL RIGHT. Let him out.
00:40:17
>> So when you Right.
00:40:20
>> So normally when you go to any
00:40:22
restaurant, right, you know, you order
00:40:24
your prime rib.
00:40:26
>> Sure.
00:40:26
>> Right. And it just appears from the back
00:40:28
of the kitchen.
00:40:30
>> Right. Somebody prepares it.
00:40:32
>> Somebody boils it back.
00:40:32
>> Yeah. Boils it back there.
00:40:37
Somebody boils up that prime rib. Go
00:40:39
ahead. I'm
00:40:40
>> Well, okay. It turns a wet bread. This
00:40:42
is a good a good example. What about
00:40:43
York pudding? That's a wet bread.
00:40:46
>> Yeah, it's not our thing.
00:40:47
>> I know. I'm just saying. So, in my mind,
00:40:49
a boiled hamburger. You mean it doesn't
00:40:51
sound that preposterous.
00:40:52
>> I'm going home tonight and I'm boiling.
00:40:55
>> Okay, let's let it go.
00:40:56
>> All right, you're at Lowry's.
00:40:56
>> So, we're at Lars and and and she goes,
00:40:59
um, and what happens is you order your
00:41:01
prime rib and there's there's different
00:41:03
cuts that you can get.
00:41:04
>> That's right. There's a California cot.
00:41:06
There's a regular cot. I get the um
00:41:08
Tokyo cot,
00:41:09
>> of course.
00:41:09
>> Yeah. Because it's small. It's a smaller
00:41:11
price.
00:41:11
>> Catering to their audience.
00:41:12
>> Yeah. Yeah. And so they So you order
00:41:14
your cod and ultra sides and they bring
00:41:16
a little tin cart
00:41:17
>> and they bind your feet.
00:41:19
>> No. No, they don't. They don't bind. So
00:41:21
they they they come with a tin cart,
00:41:23
right? They open it up, right? And they
00:41:26
slice it in front of you.
00:41:27
>> Right in front of your face,
00:41:27
>> right? And they pour all the sides in
00:41:29
front of you.
00:41:30
>> A lot of juices.
00:41:30
>> A lot of juices, right? They juice the
00:41:32
[ __ ] out of it, right? M.
00:41:33
>> And you get Yorkshire pudding.
00:41:35
>> Yeah, you do.
00:41:36
>> Right. Which is a wet bread.
00:41:37
>> Wet bread.
00:41:38
>> It's a wet bread.
00:41:38
>> Yeah. It's boiled bread.
00:41:39
>> It's boiled bread.
00:41:41
>> And then, you know, and then she goes,
00:41:42
"Why do we they do it like this?" I go,
00:41:44
"It's the nostalgia of it." Yeah.
00:41:46
>> They've been doing it like this since
00:41:48
like whatever the 40s and stuff and
00:41:49
that's why um Asian people like it
00:41:51
because it it it there's some elegance
00:41:53
to it. It's also reminiscent of the
00:41:56
past.
00:41:57
>> It's it kind of reminds you of The
00:41:59
Shining Ballroom in the movie The
00:42:00
Shining, you know what I mean? that kind
00:42:01
of a vibe, you know what I mean?
00:42:03
Gigantic chandeliers, kind of goddy a
00:42:06
little bit, but also dark and dam. It's
00:42:08
a really cool place. And the food's
00:42:10
great.
00:42:10
>> It's good.
00:42:11
>> Yeah. It's Yeah. And it's like, but it's
00:42:13
the it's the the ritual of it, right?
00:42:16
So, when you said boil hamburgers,
00:42:18
>> you thought about lottery.
00:42:19
>> No, I'm just saying to me it's like, you
00:42:22
know, you know, if they've been if
00:42:23
they've been doing it whatever this
00:42:25
region of this country for 115 years
00:42:27
that way, right?
00:42:28
>> Wisconsin.
00:42:30
Yeah.
00:42:31
>> Can you imagine? This is the longest uh
00:42:32
this is the longest
00:42:33
>> rebuttal.
00:42:34
>> Yeah. Like a court case. The judge would
00:42:35
be like, "Sir, sir, sir."
00:42:37
>> Yeah.
00:42:37
>> It's We're throwing the case out.
00:42:38
>> I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
00:42:39
>> No, it was very good though.
00:42:41
>> I think that the reason why Have we
00:42:42
talked about me quitting smoking yet or
00:42:43
no? Last time.
00:42:44
>> Thanks.
00:42:45
>> Go ahead.
00:42:45
>> Just briefly.
00:42:46
>> Let's hear it.
00:42:46
>> But why I quit?
00:42:48
>> Cuz it's going to kill you.
00:42:49
>> That's not why.
00:42:50
>> Good.
00:42:50
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That is why.
00:42:51
>> That is why. Yeah. Yeah. That is why.
00:42:53
Yeah. Yeah. But
00:42:54
>> Oh, the black.
00:42:54
>> Cuz your dog died. No. No. No. The
00:42:57
reason why I quit smoking is cuz Remy
00:42:59
died. My dog.
00:43:00
>> Lung cancer.
00:43:02
>> No,
00:43:04
man. Bob,
00:43:09
>> go down to the college store.
00:43:11
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:43:11
>> How about your smoking and [ __ ]
00:43:13
>> Let's have a stick together before we go
00:43:14
to the grocery store. No, that's not
00:43:16
what happened. Yeah. You have [ __ ]
00:43:17
lung cancer.
00:43:18
>> Your dog has stage four lung cancer.
00:43:20
>> That'd be insane.
00:43:20
>> How many packs does he smoking a day?
00:43:22
>> Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, um Hey, man.
00:43:25
Hey,
00:43:27
>> that little William. That go that Brad
00:43:30
William.
00:43:30
>> What's up, man?
00:43:31
>> Go that go that go that go that go that
00:43:33
Brad William. We thought we'd bring in
00:43:35
your furniture from home. Make you feel
00:43:37
comfortable.
00:43:37
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:43:39
>> I uh I I I like it. I sat in a blue
00:43:42
chair in case we're doing a gender
00:43:44
reveal.
00:43:45
>> Yeah.
00:43:46
>> All right. So, some stuff.
00:43:47
>> Is that a This is a boiled boiled
00:43:49
hamburger.
00:43:49
>> A boiled hamburger.
00:43:51
>> So, so we've got this stuff. Carlos
00:43:53
brought us this stuff. Carlos, why did
00:43:54
you bring us this?
00:43:55
>> What is this for?
00:43:56
>> So you could see what it's like to be
00:43:58
like brat.
00:43:59
>> Oh.
00:43:59
>> Oh.
00:44:01
>> So this is what it's like for a
00:44:03
toothbrush.
00:44:03
>> Yeah. Okay.
00:44:04
>> So then, man. So
00:44:06
>> Wow.
00:44:07
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:44:07
>> It's tough, isn't it? Are big.
00:44:09
>> I realize how tough it is.
00:44:11
>> Yeah.
00:44:11
>> Yeah.
00:44:12
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:44:12
>> But you can still write with this.
00:44:14
>> Well, but you got to use a toothbrush
00:44:15
with two hands.
00:44:16
>> Oh, I see. I see. A really hard scrub.
00:44:18
>> That's the only way it works.
00:44:19
>> Exact. Exactly.
00:44:20
>> Yeah.
00:44:21
>> Yeah. That's how they polished the
00:44:23
pyramids.
00:44:26
>> Remember back in the day?
00:44:27
>> Dwarves didn't.
00:44:28
>> Yeah, I wasn't there, but I'm just
00:44:29
saying.
00:44:29
>> Wait, dwarves didn't do that.
00:44:31
>> No, we didn't polish.
00:44:31
>> There was one dwarf that worked on the
00:44:33
pyramid.
00:44:34
>> How do you the the top one you got? They
00:44:36
send you up there. No,
00:44:37
>> something tells me the dwarf was at the
00:44:38
bottom.
00:44:40
>> They were like, "Yeah, get the bottom.
00:44:41
Get the get down there."
00:44:43
>> It's like,
00:44:43
>> yeah, but you can lift him to the top to
00:44:44
put the little, you know, I mean, the
00:44:45
temple part at the top of it.
00:44:47
>> If you see a dwarf window washer, he's
00:44:49
not doing the top part.
00:44:50
>> No, he's on the bottom.
00:44:50
>> He's on the bottom.
00:44:51
>> Oh, you're on the bottom. Yeah, I'm
00:44:53
>> I'm just saying you could be on the top.
00:44:54
>> I've always been a power bottom, Bobby.
00:44:56
You know this, you know. Yeah. Yeah.
00:44:58
>> On top is fun for you. Is is is top fun
00:45:01
for window washing or sex? What are we
00:45:03
talking about now?
00:45:04
>> Have you ever been to Jimmy's?
00:45:07
>> Wait, what? Jimmy?
00:45:08
>> Jimmy Yao?
00:45:10
>> A U S.
00:45:11
>> It's for men 5'8 and under.
00:45:14
>> Cuz that's where I get my suits.
00:45:15
>> That's where he gets his suits at.
00:45:17
Jimmy.
00:45:17
>> I didn't know this was a real place.
00:45:19
This was never discussed in the
00:45:20
meetings.
00:45:20
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah,
00:45:22
>> Jimmy.
00:45:22
>> I would like to highly recommend Jimmy.
00:45:24
They would love you.
00:45:25
>> I'm going to have to go there.
00:45:26
>> Yeah.
00:45:26
>> Holy [ __ ]
00:45:27
>> I go there all the time.
00:45:28
>> So like I will walk into Jimmy and just
00:45:30
be like, "Wow, I have a challenge for
00:45:32
you guys."
00:45:32
>> Yeah.
00:45:33
>> You say you you say 5'8 and under. Let's
00:45:35
Let's hit the
00:45:36
>> No, they have it all. They have it all.
00:45:38
They do.
00:45:39
>> They have it all there.
00:45:39
>> My dwarf ass.
00:45:40
>> Yeah. Go to Jimmy, dude.
00:45:42
>> They have a section called your dwarf
00:45:43
ass
00:45:44
>> in the back of Jimmy House.
00:45:46
>> Yeah.
00:45:46
>> We already plugged this guy so much.
00:45:47
We're giving him good business.
00:45:48
>> I know. I mean now now he's going to get
00:45:51
>> probably Dinklage goes
00:45:52
>> all my money. Yeah.
00:45:53
>> Wait, Dinklage goes.
00:45:54
>> He hates Dinklage. Don't know. I know.
00:45:56
>> Arch nemesis.
00:45:57
>> I can't.
00:45:58
>> Well, you're not going to go at the same
00:45:59
time. But you guys have like, you know
00:46:00
what I mean? A schedule.
00:46:03
>> Aren't you guys on an app?
00:46:04
>> Yeah, an app where it's like a We can't
00:46:06
be here at the same time.
00:46:07
>> Two dwarfs can't be
00:46:08
>> cuz there's only one section for you
00:46:09
people, right? So that's a lot of
00:46:11
traffic.
00:46:11
>> Isn't there like an eye?
00:46:12
>> You have to make an appointment, you
00:46:13
know, of like when dwarfs can come in.
00:46:16
>> Yeah.
00:46:16
>> Okay. So what what what's your
00:46:19
Go ahead.
00:46:19
>> The the Dwarf app actually uh is the
00:46:23
same as the car app. Lift.
00:46:24
>> Lift.
00:46:26
>> Very good.
00:46:27
>> Good. Go ahead.
00:46:28
>> What store has the best dwarf clothing?
00:46:30
>> Oh, the best dwarf clothing.
00:46:32
>> Yeah.
00:46:33
>> Like Brad's going to go shopping today.
00:46:34
>> Aside from um Gap's kids.
00:46:36
>> Yeah.
00:46:37
>> Yeah.
00:46:38
>> Frotos.
00:46:39
>> Um what called Frotos?
00:46:41
>> Let me tell you.
00:46:42
>> He can't get
00:46:42
>> Let me tell you.
00:46:43
>> That's Dude, that's a great clothing.
00:46:46
Bro, dude.
00:46:48
>> Yeah, a bag ends
00:46:52
>> or the Shire or whatever you want to do.
00:46:53
Let me tell you, that's a I think that's
00:46:55
a good
00:46:56
>> clothing business. Tell the best
00:46:58
clothes. It's at Plantain Republic.
00:47:01
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:47:04
>> You guys,
00:47:11
>> Plantain Republic.
00:47:12
>> That's really funny.
00:47:14
>> Well done. Well done. Yeah,
00:47:16
>> I I will say
00:47:18
>> all right.
00:47:19
>> The selection
00:47:21
>> at Build-A-Bear.
00:47:26
So great. I knew it was coming.
00:47:27
>> Is so great. I can be an astronaut.
00:47:30
>> I can be a dancer.
00:47:32
>> That's so funny.
00:47:32
>> I can do whatever I want there.
00:47:33
>> And then we can put a little button in
00:47:34
you so you have somebody's voice inside
00:47:36
your stomach when we press
00:47:38
>> I finally have a heartbeat.
00:47:39
>> You don't have hearts.
00:47:40
>> No, but where cuz remember the other day
00:47:42
you were at the store a couple months
00:47:43
ago and I was like, "Where'd you get
00:47:44
that jacket? It's dope.
00:47:46
>> Yeah.
00:47:48
>> Build the bear.
00:47:49
>> Build the bear.
00:47:50
>> I did ask him that.
00:47:52
>> Why'd you laugh at that?
00:47:54
>> They're not They're not for you.
00:47:56
>> I KNOW. I KNOW. I know. But
00:47:57
>> that's why Bobby asks,
00:47:59
>> did I not? No, I was really like I I I
00:48:02
liked your fit that night.
00:48:03
>> Yeah.
00:48:03
>> Right. So, I was asking like where do
00:48:05
you get like I I feel like I go where'd
00:48:07
you get all that? You know what I mean?
00:48:09
>> And you were explain to me like you mean
00:48:10
you know a guy
00:48:11
>> that shirt that shirt is great. Where's
00:48:12
that shirt from? Uh, this shirt is from
00:48:15
a uh a uh kids bowling team.
00:48:18
>> That's dope, man.
00:48:19
>> I just jump I I just jumped them after a
00:48:21
match.
00:48:21
>> Imagine.
00:48:22
>> I know what it was.
00:48:23
>> I could take them. It was the pants.
00:48:25
>> Oh, the pants.
00:48:26
>> You remember the pants? You go and you
00:48:27
and you bought a bunch of those.
00:48:28
>> Yes.
00:48:29
>> Yeah. So, that's what it was. I
00:48:30
remember. Yeah.
00:48:31
>> Yeah. If you find something that that's
00:48:32
good. See, I do that anyway. If I find
00:48:34
something I like, I'm buying is a bunch
00:48:35
of them.
00:48:36
>> Let's go. That's what you do. I buy all
00:48:38
the colors.
00:48:38
>> You have to buy. If I like it, it fits.
00:48:40
Cuz I don't like how certain jeans fit
00:48:42
or pant. I'm like, I'm just going to buy
00:48:43
a few of these
00:48:44
>> cuz cuz you have the opposite problem of
00:48:45
me. You have like long legs but then no
00:48:47
ass.
00:48:48
>> I got a nice ass.
00:48:49
>> It's no ass.
00:48:51
>> Out of your [ __ ] mind.
00:48:51
>> You're out of your [ __ ] mind.
00:48:52
>> You kidding me? That is
00:48:53
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:48:55
>> But you're bending over.
00:48:56
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a really good
00:48:57
ass.
00:48:57
>> You're sticking it out.
00:48:58
>> A good ass, dude.
00:48:59
>> That's booty.
00:49:00
>> Yeah, but now the pants are pushing it
00:49:01
up.
00:49:01
>> What about mine? What about mine?
00:49:03
>> All right. Hold on. Let Let me judge.
00:49:05
>> You asked for it.
00:49:06
>> I asked for it.
00:49:07
>> No. Stand straight up. Look at it now.
00:49:09
Look at my ass. I got you know what this
00:49:12
You know what,
00:49:12
>> brother? I got a great [ __ ] You're
00:49:14
out of your mind.
00:49:14
>> I stand corrected.
00:49:15
>> I have a nice [ __ ]
00:49:16
>> I I stand corrected. Only hair at the
00:49:18
bottom.
00:49:19
>> Yeah.
00:49:19
>> How'd you do that?
00:49:20
>> Well, look at this. Look inside.
00:49:22
>> It's so pink.
00:49:23
>> Dude, you have the pinkst [ __ ] I've
00:49:25
ever seen. It's so pink.
00:49:26
>> I won an award in 06.
00:49:28
>> You did.
00:49:29
>> You definitely have a virgin [ __ ]
00:49:30
>> I do, brother.
00:49:31
>> It's like a piglet's [ __ ] this guy.
00:49:33
>> I just never been touched. It's never
00:49:34
been touched. It's never been abused.
00:49:36
>> Is that what I'm saying? The color has
00:49:37
nothing to do about [ __ ] abuse. It
00:49:39
has a lot to do with it. Really?
00:49:40
>> Yours is darkest night.
00:49:41
>> I know, but that doesn't necessarily
00:49:42
It's not a black eye. Somebody's
00:49:44
punching my [ __ ] [ __ ] I'm just
00:49:46
ethnic.
00:49:47
>> They're punching with their wheel.
00:49:48
>> No, they're not, dude. No, they're not.
00:49:49
It's
00:49:50
>> not in your [ __ ] It's the Greenland
00:49:51
shark down there.
00:49:54
>> Who has a darker [ __ ] The Greenland
00:49:56
shark or me?
00:49:57
>> By far you.
00:49:58
>> Okay. No. Like I I literally You have
00:50:01
the pinkst [ __ ] I have ever seen.
00:50:03
>> It's so pink. It's insane. Do you [ __ ]
00:50:06
out your mouth? Cuz there's no way.
00:50:08
There's no way [ __ ] COMES OUT.
00:50:10
>> BRAD, YOU'RE A GENIUS.
00:50:11
>> You must [ __ ] out your mouth. You've
00:50:13
seen what I do on stage. Yes, I do [ __ ]
00:50:14
out of my mouth.
00:50:16
>> Are you a little bisexual or no?
00:50:18
>> No, I I I've had a I've had a male male
00:50:23
female threesome.
00:50:25
>> Yeah, the devil's threesome. Devil's
00:50:26
three.
00:50:27
>> Yeah. Yeah, I've heard of that. That
00:50:29
move.
00:50:29
>> The uh Yeah,
00:50:30
>> devil's two and a half.
00:50:31
>> Yeah.
00:50:32
>> Uh it was a lot of fun.
00:50:34
>> Oh, yeah.
00:50:35
>> We didn't do an Eiffel Tower. We did a
00:50:36
leaning tower of Pisa AND
00:50:43
>> it was a tall guy and me.
00:50:44
>> Yeah,
00:50:44
>> there's a tall guy me. So, I've done
00:50:46
that. I I don't know where that puts
00:50:48
you.
00:50:48
>> But did you touch the guy at all in any
00:50:50
way?
00:50:50
>> Yeah, but it was accidental.
00:50:51
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah, there's always
00:50:52
accidental rubbing.
00:50:53
>> Yeah, there was
00:50:55
>> Well, like we had to like we had to
00:50:57
switch positions at one point and this
00:50:58
is back. I'm going to just tell you
00:51:00
right now, if I ever had sex with you
00:51:02
and another girl, I would be laughing so
00:51:05
[ __ ] hard. I would not be able to get
00:51:07
hard, dude. You know how funny that'd
00:51:09
be? Oh my god, dude. Oh my god.
00:51:12
>> You would you would be hearing the sound
00:51:14
of Mario getting a coin every time I
00:51:16
thrust.
00:51:21
>> I mean,
00:51:21
>> oh my god, dude. Oh my god. It's so
00:51:24
funny, dude.
00:51:24
>> How All right. How scared would you be
00:51:27
if you were having a threesome and and
00:51:29
the and the other male was a dwarf of
00:51:31
the of of the male having the bigger
00:51:33
dick than you?
00:51:34
>> Oh,
00:51:35
>> cuz that that's why I got to give this
00:51:37
guy props that had the threesome with me
00:51:39
>> because like he was very confident and
00:51:41
then it turned out I found out why. But
00:51:43
uh he had a big old hop.
00:51:44
>> Yeah, he had a big old hawk.
00:51:45
>> Can I ask you a serious question at six
00:51:46
if I may? Cuz we're [ __ ] around but
00:51:48
you know what I mean? I want to ask him
00:51:49
a serious question.
00:51:50
>> Of course. Do you think as a comic like
00:51:52
sometimes I think you know like the
00:51:54
reason why you know I had the upper hand
00:51:56
in comedy was because I'm a smaller
00:51:59
Korean dude
00:52:00
>> and I looked the way that I do right
00:52:02
which sets me apart from other people. I
00:52:04
mean do you think that the um dwarfism
00:52:07
helped you in your comedy?
00:52:08
>> Oh at first it helped.
00:52:10
>> Yeah
00:52:10
>> and then later it hurt.
00:52:12
>> What do you mean?
00:52:13
>> Because at first it helped because
00:52:15
>> because of his joints I mean they're
00:52:16
really
00:52:17
>> that's hard. I had to walk a long way.
00:52:19
Those comedy stools on stage are high.
00:52:21
>> You know how high the stage is?
00:52:22
>> Oh my god. I had to get a sherpa for
00:52:24
those things.
00:52:24
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:52:25
>> They had to make one of those.
00:52:28
>> Get him up on stage. Go ahead.
00:52:30
>> So, it helped at first because then for
00:52:33
the exact reasons that you described
00:52:34
that people wanted something different
00:52:35
on the show. They didn't want to just
00:52:37
your average straight white male like
00:52:38
like just a straight redheaded white
00:52:41
guy. Like that's so boring. That's just
00:52:44
so horrible and boring. even if they do
00:52:45
have a nice
00:52:46
>> because I believe that it was harder for
00:52:47
you.
00:52:48
>> Let him finish it.
00:52:49
>> But and then so that got me on shows but
00:52:52
then it was harder to get past the
00:52:53
threshold of people think I was a
00:52:55
gimmick
00:52:56
>> and people to actually like pass me on
00:52:58
to the next stage of like oh no but he's
00:52:59
he's actually funny like actually funny
00:53:03
on stage.
00:53:03
>> Oh no, dude. I think that's your own
00:53:04
head saying that because it's like you
00:53:06
know I mean
00:53:06
>> there's a lot of space.
00:53:07
>> There's a lot of space.
00:53:08
>> Yeah,
00:53:08
>> that's an echo.
00:53:09
>> Oh it's an Okay.
00:53:11
>> Yeah,
00:53:12
>> that's a big old head.
00:53:13
>> Yeah. When I was on the cruise, when I
00:53:14
was performing, I thought to myself,
00:53:16
Brad, you would have just disappeared
00:53:17
because it was shaking back and forth.
00:53:19
>> Oh my god.
00:53:20
>> I love Yeah. Me and gone to the other
00:53:22
side.
00:53:22
>> Dude, I love comedy on cruises.
00:53:24
>> Fun, right?
00:53:25
>> Fun. He loved it. When it's a theme
00:53:27
cruise, did you do the do the Joker's
00:53:29
one BS cruise?
00:53:30
>> No, I did the um the Workaholics guys.
00:53:32
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay.
00:53:33
>> That was really fun.
00:53:34
>> Yeah. It was me, Schwarz, and it was so
00:53:36
much fun.
00:53:36
>> That's so cool. Uh I do the Chris
00:53:38
Jericho rock and wrestling rager at sea.
00:53:41
>> Wow. So that's pro wrestling comedy and
00:53:44
heavy metal on a boat. Wow.
00:53:45
>> Do you do you get to wrestle?
00:53:46
>> Oh, there's clips.
00:53:47
>> Oh, really?
00:53:48
>> Yeah. There there is a clip of me giving
00:53:51
Hornswaggle a Stone Cold Stunner.
00:53:54
>> You can find that.
00:53:54
>> [ __ ] way.
00:53:56
>> Yeah.
00:54:02
>> Oh, he took off your hat.
00:54:03
>> He stole my hat. That son of a [ __ ]
00:54:05
>> Gives me the finger.
00:54:09
>> Oh my god. That was the moment when like
00:54:12
Sonic the Hedgehog gets hit and the
00:54:13
coins just fly out of him.
00:54:15
>> Yeah.
00:54:15
>> Me giving another dwarf a stunner.
00:54:17
>> You got to go down there. It'll take him
00:54:18
an hour to get back up.
00:54:20
>> Wow, that sounds so
00:54:21
>> That was so much fun. So like at So like
00:54:24
>> as a wrestling fan, I can tell you like
00:54:26
the holy [ __ ] chant is like a one of the
00:54:29
best compliments a wrestler can get. And
00:54:31
and we got that just staring at each
00:54:33
other.
00:54:34
>> Oh wow. Wow. Wow.
00:54:35
>> I I didn't have to go through like a
00:54:36
table of thumb tacks or anything.
00:54:38
>> It's a very Look at that. That's a very
00:54:39
holy [ __ ] moment.
00:54:40
>> Did you practice that?
00:54:41
>> No.
00:54:42
>> Oh, instinctual.
00:54:43
>> Felt it in the moment, man.
00:54:45
>> Yeah, that's a dwarf on dwarf crime.
00:54:47
>> Okay.
00:54:49
>> Wow.
00:54:50
>> I'd love to know those stats on dwarf on
00:54:51
dwarf crime. That's my Look at my
00:54:54
favorite thing. You You did it, but it
00:54:55
was the same height as before.
00:54:58
Nothing
00:54:59
>> as I'm sitting down. It's the same
00:55:01
>> same height,
00:55:03
>> bro. I have watched dwarves get into
00:55:05
actual fights. It is so funny.
00:55:07
>> Really? It is so funny. I So, every
00:55:10
summer there's a there's a national
00:55:13
dwarf convention.
00:55:14
>> Oh my god, we got to go.
00:55:15
>> We got to go.
00:55:16
>> Where is it?
00:55:16
>> Uh, this year it's
00:55:18
>> This year it's Mordor. That's very good.
00:55:21
Uh, this year it's in New Orleans.
00:55:23
>> Oh, we got to go.
00:55:24
>> We got to go.
00:55:25
>> Yeah. Little Rock, AMERICA,
00:55:29
>> SMALLVILLE.
00:55:32
>> PEBBLETON.
00:55:33
>> The Go back. Go back. The Little People
00:55:36
of America at the LPA National
00:55:39
Conference is an annual weeklong event
00:55:40
providing support, education, community
00:55:41
for people with dwarfism and their
00:55:43
families. And
00:55:44
>> that's a fun way of saying bon
00:55:45
>> last year
00:55:46
>> because that's all it's for.
00:55:47
>> Last year was in San Diego.
00:55:49
>> Yeah. Wow.
00:55:49
>> I went to that one.
00:55:50
>> So, um, are the tickets half off? So,
00:55:52
when you
00:55:55
>> Stop it, dude.
00:55:55
>> The only one is in Minneapolis.
00:55:57
>> Minneapolis.
00:55:59
Yes.
00:56:00
>> That's a good one.
00:56:00
>> Very good.
00:56:01
>> That's a really good one.
00:56:02
>> Very good.
00:56:02
>> Yeah. So, so this year
00:56:04
>> it it should not be in Ireland.
00:56:06
>> If it's in Ireland, we're going to trip
00:56:08
some people the [ __ ] out.
00:56:09
>> Yeah, dude.
00:56:10
>> Someone's going to walk out of a pub and
00:56:11
go, "Holy shit."
00:56:12
>> This is like the It's like when the
00:56:13
crickets fell from the sky, you know?
00:56:14
They It's happening.
00:56:17
>> I [ __ ] sign of the apocalypse.
00:56:18
>> So, click on that thing. The future
00:56:19
national. I want to see this. 2026, it's
00:56:21
happening. It's July.
00:56:23
>> Yep. July, it's in New Orleans. And then
00:56:25
2027, it's in New York. New York.
00:56:28
>> Wow.
00:56:28
>> Wait, why can't we go to this? Is it Is
00:56:30
it
00:56:30
>> If we went, would it be weird or No.
00:56:32
Yeah. Okay.
00:56:35
I mean, we
00:56:35
>> Yeah, we'd be showing off.
00:56:37
>> Yeah, we don't have security guards or
00:56:38
anything.
00:56:39
>> Oh, okay.
00:56:40
>> What if you guys need to grab something
00:56:41
from up on a top shelf or something?
00:56:43
>> We need you guys.
00:56:44
>> I mean, but but the people that are
00:56:46
working there are not dwarves, are
00:56:48
there? Or no,
00:56:48
>> I mean, yeah, it's all it's all
00:56:51
everyone working there is dwarves as
00:56:53
well.
00:56:53
>> Yeah.
00:56:54
>> Wow.
00:56:54
>> Yeah. So, like the
00:56:55
>> Is the building smaller? No, it's it's a
00:56:58
regular hotel, which always trips me out
00:57:00
cuz there's people staying in this hotel
00:57:02
that don't know there's a dwarf
00:57:04
convention going on when they book it
00:57:05
and they just show up like I've hit the
00:57:06
[ __ ]
00:57:07
>> Some guy on a sales trip walks into the
00:57:09
marquee, walks out of the bar, they're
00:57:11
in the lobby, he's like, "Fuck."
00:57:14
>> I am.
00:57:14
>> Could you Could you imagine if you did
00:57:16
drugs for like the first time and then
00:57:17
you woke up the next day, you're
00:57:19
surrounded,
00:57:20
>> you're surrounded by dwarves like
00:57:23
>> tripping on mushrooms.
00:57:24
>> I'd be like, "Holy [ __ ] I fell into
00:57:25
Narnia.
00:57:27
So, how many people go to this
00:57:28
convention?
00:57:29
>> Over a thousand,
00:57:29
>> right? So, that's like 300 regular
00:57:31
people.
00:57:31
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:57:33
>> A thousand little people go every single
00:57:35
year. And now, is this raising money for
00:57:37
anything at all?
00:57:38
>> Yeah.
00:57:38
>> So, it's a charity.
00:57:39
>> LPA.
00:57:39
>> It's a church.
00:57:40
>> What does that stand for? LPA.
00:57:41
>> Little People of America.
00:57:42
>> Oh, there is an organization.
00:57:44
>> Little People of America.
00:57:48
>> LPS in America.
00:57:50
>> Wow. Yeah. And now now this is actually,
00:57:53
let's be honest,
00:57:54
>> this is similar to summer camps and all
00:57:56
that stuff. This is just a hookup
00:57:57
convention for young single.
00:58:00
>> Yeah. Yes.
00:58:00
>> Yeah. You you you go all year and you're
00:58:03
and you're friend-zoned and then you go
00:58:05
to a dwarf convention and you're hot as
00:58:07
[ __ ]
00:58:07
>> That's pretty and it's awesome. Like
00:58:09
>> now were you getting laid to these when
00:58:10
you were single? When you were going to
00:58:11
these,
00:58:12
>> bro?
00:58:13
>> Wait, seriously.
00:58:13
>> With other dwarves?
00:58:14
>> Bro,
00:58:15
>> really?
00:58:16
>> Really?
00:58:16
>> I've got stories.
00:58:17
>> Give us a story. I've laid I've laid
00:58:20
waste to some little women.
00:58:24
>> What was the
00:58:24
>> So little women turn you on?
00:58:26
>> Yeah.
00:58:26
>> Oh, okay.
00:58:27
>> You're married to You're married to
00:58:29
Well,
00:58:30
>> what do you mean little women turn?
00:58:32
>> Yeah. Why is that funny?
00:58:33
>> Because you acted surprised.
00:58:34
>> No, I
00:58:35
>> No, he inquired.
00:58:36
>> No, because I'll tell you why. Because I
00:58:38
know some Asian dudes are are attracted
00:58:39
to white girls and not the same.
00:58:42
>> Not It is the same.
00:58:43
>> Traiers.
00:58:43
>> No, it's not.
00:58:44
>> Yeah,
00:58:44
>> they're traders, right?
00:58:46
>> Yeah. I love
00:58:47
>> He's married to a full-size Asian woman.
00:58:49
>> I understand that. I know her.
00:58:51
>> He's a traitor.
00:58:52
>> He's a traitor, though.
00:58:53
>> Yeah, he's not a traitor.
00:58:54
>> That's That was
00:58:55
>> You cut are a traitor.
00:58:56
>> Lot a lot of the dwarf women call me a
00:58:58
trader. This is
00:58:59
>> Do they really?
00:59:00
>> Yeah.
00:59:00
>> That's insane.
00:59:01
>> Yeah, this is very true.
00:59:02
>> No. What do you mean? This is the same
00:59:03
as like
00:59:04
>> black guys.
00:59:05
>> What?
00:59:05
>> Like black guys with white girls?
00:59:07
>> Yeah.
00:59:08
>> What's up?
00:59:11
>> Like black dudes when they're with white
00:59:12
girls that home
00:59:14
>> and vice versa. Hey,
00:59:17
>> who's the traitor there?
00:59:18
>> You going to leave him out there?
00:59:19
>> Yeah,
00:59:19
>> go ahead. Let him fly.
00:59:20
>> Oh, no. I don't need help on this cuz I
00:59:22
know it's true.
00:59:23
>> Okay.
00:59:23
>> Yeah.
00:59:24
>> Oh, he Oh, he knows about
00:59:26
>> black women complain that black men are
00:59:28
>> with white girls.
00:59:29
>> Oh, right. Right. Yeah. Yeah.
00:59:30
>> Oh, dude.
00:59:31
>> That's what he meant.
00:59:32
>> I thought he meant he didn't like it.
00:59:35
>> OH, NO.
00:59:37
>> I was like, are you good?
00:59:39
>> Yeah. No,
00:59:40
>> I didn't I didn't read that.
00:59:41
>> Yeah, but
00:59:42
>> but you understand that was my boiled
00:59:43
hamburger moment.
00:59:44
>> Yeah. Yeah. But also but also he doesn't
00:59:47
like it.
00:59:48
>> But he doesn't like it. No. Yeah. For
00:59:49
what it's worth. Yeah.
00:59:50
>> Let's be honest.
00:59:51
>> No. But but okay. How many
00:59:53
>> Mhm.
00:59:54
>> And these are all You're all consenting
00:59:56
adults. How many little people How many
00:59:59
little women love that movie. How many
01:00:01
little women How many little women?
01:00:03
>> We should remake it with little women.
01:00:04
>> Why do they not?
01:00:05
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:00:06
>> How is that not
01:00:07
>> How many little women in a weekend? It's
01:00:09
a weekend.
01:00:10
>> Uh it's a week.
01:00:10
>> It's a full week.
01:00:11
>> Yeah, full week. What was the full
01:00:12
takedown number of a full week
01:00:14
>> of my
01:00:15
>> How many women did you sleep with?
01:00:16
>> Of my best year.
01:00:17
>> Your best year.
01:00:18
>> I mean, we we hit two hands.
01:00:21
>> No way.
01:00:22
>> You're talking one or two a day.
01:00:25
>> Yeah.
01:00:25
>> Wow.
01:00:26
>> Wow.
01:00:26
>> It was fun.
01:00:27
>> Wow. I told you it's a [ __ ] carnival.
01:00:29
>> I was [ __ ] Matt Refe at that damn
01:00:32
thing. It was great.
01:00:32
>> Wow.
01:00:33
>> You hooked up with Matt.
01:00:34
>> You're the Matt Refe of Little People.
01:00:36
>> The Matt R of little people.
01:00:38
>> Yeah. Wow.
01:00:39
>> He's doing ground crowd work.
01:00:40
>> Yeah.
01:00:42
No, I had a I had a very good time when
01:00:44
I was single. That's amazing.
01:00:46
>> It was fun.
01:00:47
>> But who do you find more attractive? Um
01:00:50
little people or
01:00:52
>> uh and and this sounds
01:00:53
>> non little people
01:00:54
>> or non little people. Like what do you
01:00:55
>> or reachers?
01:00:56
>> Or reachers? Yeah. Can we call them
01:00:58
reachers? Yeah.
01:00:58
>> Wait, what's our what's our derogatory
01:01:00
names? Reachers. What's the other one
01:01:01
you call us?
01:01:02
>> Biggers.
01:01:02
>> Biggers. Yeah. Bigger.
01:01:03
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So
01:01:05
>> big. Big us.
01:01:06
>> So who do you what do you find more
01:01:07
attractive? I I say hard R.
01:01:09
>> Okay. You have to say big
01:01:12
>> I can say bigers. Okay, got it.
01:01:14
>> Don't like you bigger.
01:01:16
>> Yeah,
01:01:16
>> bigers be crazy.
01:01:17
>> So, do you prefer bigas or um or do you
01:01:20
prefer um little users?
01:01:25
>> Little Right.
01:01:26
>> Little
01:01:28
Yeah. I'm just learning this.
01:01:30
>> It sounds crazy, but I truly don't have
01:01:32
a preference.
01:01:33
>> Oh, yeah. I truly don't.
01:01:34
>> Because he's been with both women.
01:01:36
>> Yeah. It's great. I've just never had
01:01:37
the opportunity to date a a a little
01:01:40
person. Come on, you're Asian. There's
01:01:41
plenty.
01:01:44
>> To many women, to many women, you are
01:01:46
the little person.
01:01:48
>> Okay.
01:01:52
>> Yeah. Yeah. But you know what I mean,
01:01:54
though.
01:01:54
>> Yeah. Yeah. Have you had the
01:01:55
opportunity? Like, have never been hit
01:01:56
on by a little person or Got to go to
01:01:59
the convention, man.
01:02:00
>> Yeah. I mean, I've never I never have.
01:02:01
That's kind of crazy. No, I've never
01:02:03
been hit on, but but because here's the
01:02:05
thing. Every time I've ever seen like a
01:02:08
little woman, she's with a little man.
01:02:10
>> Yeah.
01:02:11
>> It's it's it's it's like I've seen many
01:02:13
little men in p little men. I've seen I
01:02:16
don't know.
01:02:17
>> Slow down.
01:02:19
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:02:20
>> I've seen many male dwarfs in public
01:02:23
without women like by themselves or in a
01:02:25
group,
01:02:26
>> but I've almost never seen a dwarf woman
01:02:29
with a group of other dwarf women in
01:02:31
public out on the town.
01:02:32
>> Why did there need to be more than one?
01:02:34
Do you have a selection? What do you
01:02:35
call that group of M&M's?
01:02:37
>> What do I call them?
01:02:38
>> Yeah, it's like a murder of crows.
01:02:40
>> I like the green M&M's. I mean,
01:02:42
>> what's a group of dwarves? Is it a Is it
01:02:44
a coaster of dwarves?
01:02:46
>> I don't know.
01:02:50
>> I don't know, dude. I've never seen
01:02:54
you.
01:02:55
>> Look at those. A handful of them.
01:02:57
>> I can see like 20 women coming out of a
01:02:59
Whimo,
01:03:01
>> bro. There there was one time at a
01:03:04
convention where uh there there was
01:03:07
there was a group there was a group
01:03:09
action go going on and there was there
01:03:11
was an orgy.
01:03:12
>> Yeah.
01:03:13
>> Of little people have little people
01:03:14
orgy.
01:03:15
>> Yeah.
01:03:15
>> And there was about but that loos
01:03:20
>> stop it Carlo.
01:03:21
>> Stop it.
01:03:22
>> Stop it. Stop it. Stop We all slept in
01:03:24
the same bed that night, but instead we
01:03:27
slept like sideways
01:03:30
>> like sardines.
01:03:37
>> We We We fit.
01:03:39
>> You fit.
01:03:40
>> We fit.
01:03:40
>> Yeah. Yeah. Wow.
01:03:42
>> That's the best thing about that
01:03:43
convention. You guys can all share a
01:03:44
room, huh?
01:03:44
>> Yeah.
01:03:45
>> Like puppies and stuff.
01:03:46
>> Yes. Like litter. You call it a litter.
01:03:50
>> He told you it's called a handful.
01:03:52
Handful.
01:03:53
>> Handful of one.
01:03:54
>> Okay.
01:03:54
>> And uh Yeah. Yeah. You throw a couple
01:03:56
pillows in the bathtub, you fit three
01:03:58
more in there.
01:03:59
>> Wow. Wow.
01:04:00
>> You're good.
01:04:00
>> So, how many people fit on the bed? I
01:04:02
want to do the math on this.
01:04:04
>> So, and this is real.
01:04:06
>> What size bed is it? A king.
01:04:07
>> Wait, wait, wait.
01:04:08
>> Let him. It's a king hotel bed. He's
01:04:10
going to tell you what is actually real.
01:04:12
Tell me.
01:04:12
>> No jokes.
01:04:13
>> No jokes.
01:04:13
>> No jokes.
01:04:14
>> We always make sure there's either like
01:04:17
six or eight of us.
01:04:19
>> Oh my god. There can't be seven of us.
01:04:22
Why?
01:04:23
>> The animals just start singing.
01:04:25
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:04:27
>> We do that on purpose.
01:04:29
>> There's just like a sleeping white girl
01:04:31
in the back.
01:04:32
>> We will literally look around be like,
01:04:33
"Okay, there's six." If one guy comes
01:04:35
up, we're like, "You can't come in.
01:04:36
>> You can't come in." Yeah.
01:04:38
>> Find another.
01:04:38
>> Oh, that's really That's lore then. It's
01:04:40
a lore thing.
01:04:41
>> We don't like it.
01:04:42
>> Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you don't like it?
01:04:43
>> Yeah. We like We're There can There
01:04:45
cannot be seven of us in a room.
01:04:46
>> Wow. That's so funny. But that's really
01:04:49
nine's fine though.
01:04:50
>> No. Yeah. Yeah.
01:04:50
>> Yeah. Yeah. Any none but seven because
01:04:52
Okay.
01:04:52
>> totally cool
01:04:53
>> because of the movie. Yeah.
01:04:55
>> Yeah. By the way, did did you guys see
01:04:57
the the results of the Rzzy Awards?
01:05:00
>> No. No.
01:05:01
>> Uh the CGI Dwarf Actors
01:05:04
>> Oh, that's right. You you won an award
01:05:07
>> which I think is
01:05:08
>> I think that's great.
01:05:09
>> [ __ ] fantastic.
01:05:10
>> Yeah.
01:05:10
>> That you know it was uh not actual
01:05:13
dwarves playing the dwarves.
01:05:14
>> Yeah.
01:05:14
>> Which I know you have a big gripe with.
01:05:16
>> Are you still mad at that? Yeah, of
01:05:17
course. I'm still mad at that. Missed
01:05:18
out on a [ __ ] payday, dude.
01:05:20
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:05:21
>> All All seven artificial dwarfs, all the
01:05:23
AI CGI dwarves got Yeah.
01:05:25
>> Yeah. As as worst supporting actor.
01:05:27
>> And Nicholas Cage was up there. Steven
01:05:29
Dorf, Greg Caner, and Sylvester
01:05:30
Stallone. Wow.
01:05:31
>> Who's Cage? Cage for what?
01:05:33
>> Gunslingers.
01:05:34
>> Oh, I see.
01:05:35
>> Yeah, we Yeah.
01:05:36
>> He phones it in.
01:05:37
>> Seven seven CGI dwarves.
01:05:40
>> Didn't used to
01:05:40
>> won for worst supporting actor. And
01:05:43
according to this website, uh, they took
01:05:46
home a joint Razie, stealing yet another
01:05:48
award that could have gone to a real
01:05:50
life dwarf actor.
01:05:51
>> Let me ask you something.
01:05:52
>> I could have won that Raz.
01:05:53
>> Now, if they did use u dwarves in the
01:05:56
actual movie and you didn't get the part
01:05:58
of the seven, would you be mad?
01:06:00
>> Heartbreaking.
01:06:00
>> Oh, yeah. That would be heartbreaking.
01:06:02
>> It's like being one of the funniest guys
01:06:03
on planet Earth and not getting it.
01:06:05
>> Yeah,
01:06:05
>> cuz Right. That would be heartbreaking.
01:06:08
>> It it it truly would be cuz it's like
01:06:10
there there there's not that many of us.
01:06:12
Well, in the acting in the acting space.
01:06:14
Yeah.
01:06:14
>> Yeah.
01:06:15
>> Like how many in that?
01:06:16
>> I would argue there's too many of you in
01:06:17
the non-acting space.
01:06:18
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:06:20
>> Gota get you down to one profession.
01:06:23
>> Probably 20, right?
01:06:24
>> I mean, you see the same guys at every
01:06:26
audition, you know? Like,
01:06:27
>> so it's like 50/50 getting it for you.
01:06:30
>> Probably.
01:06:30
>> Yeah. If they used warp.
01:06:31
>> Who Who's your like Frederick Douglas or
01:06:36
>> like is there a historical figure that
01:06:38
you can go back to? Absolutely.
01:06:39
>> Yeah. Yeah. Who is it?
01:06:40
>> Billy Barty. Billy.
01:06:41
>> That's what I want to know. Look up
01:06:42
Billy Barty here.
01:06:43
>> Billy Barty. Uh, he was an actor and he
01:06:46
actually founded Little People of
01:06:47
America. He founded LPA.
01:06:50
>> Wow.
01:06:50
>> So we So all of those orgies happened
01:06:52
because of Billy.
01:06:53
>> Yeah. Thank you, Billy Barty.
01:06:55
>> That's your MLK.
01:06:56
>> Yeah.
01:06:56
>> Okay. Wow.
01:06:58
>> We we we should at least get a half day
01:07:00
off work.
01:07:00
>> Yeah. Oh, yeah.
01:07:02
>> For for his birthday.
01:07:04
>> I had a dream.
01:07:07
>> You're right. He does a speech.
01:07:10
I mean, I'd make fun of you, but that's
01:07:12
kind of what he sounded like.
01:07:13
>> Yeah. Yeah.
01:07:14
>> Billy Barty.
01:07:15
>> Yeah. That So that Yeah. So that's our
01:07:17
guy.
01:07:17
>> Wow. That's your guy.
01:07:18
>> And how And how and how long ago did he
01:07:20
pass away? How long has he been dead?
01:07:21
>> Uh I don't know.
01:07:23
>> Let me see. 2000 he died.
01:07:24
>> 2000.
01:07:24
>> Oh, so you never met him?
01:07:25
>> Oh, no. I I I met him.
01:07:27
>> You've met Billy Bardy?
01:07:28
>> Yeah, I've met him.
01:07:30
>> Yeah, he was a great guy.
01:07:31
>> And did you get nervous when you met
01:07:32
him? Like
01:07:32
>> No, cuz I didn't really know who he was,
01:07:34
>> but then he didn't know his social
01:07:37
impact
01:07:38
>> at the time. You didn't? Yeah. And now
01:07:39
And now I know
01:07:40
>> you blew off Billy Barty.
01:07:42
>> Yeah.
01:07:44
>> He was in Willow. Yeah.
01:07:46
>> Yeah. He was
01:07:46
>> I remember him. Willow. Yeah.
01:07:47
>> He was the sorcerer. That's like the
01:07:50
power to control the universe is in what
01:07:52
finger.
01:07:52
>> Was he R2-D2 or
01:07:54
>> No, that was Kenny Baker. Kenny Baker.
01:07:55
>> I know way too much.
01:07:56
>> Yeah. Yeah. No, that's good. You know
01:07:57
your history. I think that's important.
01:07:59
>> I got to know my history.
01:08:01
>> They g they gave us some history. Yeah.
01:08:04
So,
01:08:05
>> it's more of a pamphlet, not really a
01:08:06
whole book. So he died at what what does
01:08:08
it say? 76. Is that what he was?
01:08:11
>> But historically but but historically
01:08:14
who's your like you do you have a
01:08:15
Genghaskhan back then or Oh like oh like
01:08:18
oh like a dwarf
01:08:18
>> evil dwarf like an evil dwarf back then
01:08:21
like 200 3 400 years.
01:08:22
>> I mean I think uh there was one dwarf
01:08:26
serial killer.
01:08:27
>> Oh this is Dude uh I forget his name.
01:08:31
>> Well look at this. There's there's a
01:08:32
couple here. There's uh Tom Thumb. The
01:08:34
original Tom Thumb. Charles Stratton.
01:08:36
>> Yeah. And then there was um uh Count
01:08:40
Joseph Burlowski, a 3-3 Polish born
01:08:43
entertainer, musician, author who was
01:08:44
welcomed European course, later lived in
01:08:46
England. The Oitz family, a Jewish
01:08:47
entertainer Romania.
01:08:48
>> The o Okay. The Oitz family. I if if you
01:08:53
gave me unlimited power in Hollywood, I
01:08:55
make that movie.
01:08:56
>> The Oitz family.
01:08:57
>> Yeah. Because why? Why? Why? Why? They
01:08:58
were a family of Jewish dwarves from
01:09:01
Romania, but they were taken to Awitz
01:09:03
and uh they were experimented on and
01:09:05
like they were did all and not all of
01:09:07
them survived. Don't do it. Come on, do
01:09:09
it.
01:09:10
>> Don't do it, Bobby.
01:09:11
>> Don't even What do you It's a hat on
01:09:13
your hat. Don't do it.
01:09:14
>> I really don't have a drug for it.
01:09:16
>> Yeah, you don't do it. Do it. Do it to
01:09:17
my face. Don't do it. Look at me. Yeah.
01:09:19
Yeah.
01:09:20
>> Remember, I have a child.
01:09:21
>> Yeah.
01:09:23
>> The little train.
01:09:32
Stop it.
01:09:33
>> You want these are going to put you guys
01:09:34
in the toaster oven.
01:09:36
>> Easy bake. Easy bake.
01:09:39
You guys are in dog cages.
01:09:41
>> Ding.
01:09:43
>> Yeah. Yeah. You heard the ding of the
01:09:45
easy bake. You're like, "Ding, dwarves
01:09:46
are done.
01:09:47
>> Oh my god. Those are the worst jokes."
01:09:49
>> The dwarves of Awitz.
01:09:51
>> Yep.
01:09:51
>> Wow. That's so [ __ ] up.
01:09:53
>> So [ __ ] That's the documentary that
01:09:55
>> dude now the food in terms of No. No. I
01:09:59
want to ask you real though.
01:10:01
>> Can I be real about it? Right. It's just
01:10:03
like you mean, right? You They weren't
01:10:05
as hungry as
01:10:08
>> I knew it. I knew it.
01:10:10
>> If they give you like less bread, they
01:10:12
give you less.
01:10:13
>> Thank you. Everyone a slice of bread.
01:10:15
We're sitting there like we're eating
01:10:15
good. You just getting like a crouton.
01:10:20
>> We got to starve the dwarves. What? What
01:10:22
do we do? Croutons. Croutons. Make him a
01:10:24
crouton.
01:10:24
>> Crouton is a loaf of bread.
01:10:26
>> What do you got? A [ __ ] loaf of
01:10:27
bread.
01:10:30
>> Did you guys get the same amount of
01:10:32
food?
01:10:32
>> I don't know. I wasn't there.
01:10:33
>> Okay. All right.
01:10:34
>> That old.
01:10:35
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:10:36
>> Seven dwarfs of Awitz. The fact there
01:10:37
were seven of them.
01:10:38
>> The seven dwarfs of Awitz. That's the
01:10:40
original story. That's right from
01:10:41
>> Oh, wow. That's
01:10:43
>> That is crazy.
01:10:44
>> Really? And I swear to God if you if you
01:10:47
CGI people
01:10:49
>> seven dwarfs with That's a cool [ __ ]
01:10:51
Wow. that they got to make that movie. I
01:10:53
really want a movie that you should
01:10:54
produce.
01:10:55
>> I want to produce it. I just don't have
01:10:56
them enough money right now.
01:10:58
>> You know, you got to find the rights to
01:10:59
it is what you got to do.
01:11:00
>> Yeah. Who has the IP of that?
01:11:02
>> Who the hell is John the Dwarf?
01:11:04
>> Yeah.
01:11:04
>> John the Dwarf. The desert father of
01:11:07
early Christianity.
01:11:08
>> Yeah. John the John the Dwarf.
01:11:10
>> Blame me.
01:11:11
>> A Coptic Desert. Yeah. The Coptic Desert
01:11:12
Father. Yeah.
01:11:13
>> All right. And then there was one dwarf
01:11:16
I know who who was actually the one that
01:11:18
actually mapped like uh the inside of
01:11:21
the human body. Like one of the first
01:11:23
>> Well, cuz he could crawl in there.
01:11:24
>> Exactly. Get in there.
01:11:34
>> There it is.
01:11:45
Make one slice and I'm in there.
01:11:47
>> [ __ ]
01:11:48
>> Through where?
01:11:49
>> How do you know where the liver is? I've
01:11:52
been there.
01:11:53
>> Cuz I have been there. I can tell the
01:11:55
tale.
01:11:56
>> We're so sorry, man.
01:11:57
>> Why?
01:11:57
>> I feel bad. I feel I mean, that's not
01:11:59
funny, dude.
01:12:01
>> It's so [ __ ] up.
01:12:02
>> It's all right.
01:12:04
>> I see him just crawling around, man.
01:12:07
Just crawling around.
01:12:14
Andrew, Andrew, you'd see the lump in
01:12:16
the chest like from Alien.
01:12:20
>> In fact, that's what the motivation for
01:12:22
Alien was that burst out of the chest.
01:12:25
>> East said that there are five ARTERIES
01:12:27
AROUND THE THERE ARE FIVE AROUND THE
01:12:30
HEART. IT pops back in.
01:12:31
>> THERE'S FIVE. THERE'S FOUR. THERE'S FOUR
01:12:32
CHAMBERS. God damn.
01:12:34
>> Hold on.
01:12:36
>> I'm going to find out how many stomachs
01:12:37
we have. I'll be right back.
01:12:38
>> What does he think? He's been in there
01:12:39
for so long.
01:12:42
>> Brad, come come in with a strong.
01:12:44
>> Oh god.
01:12:45
>> Brad, this is why we've been friends for
01:12:47
so long.
01:12:48
>> So long.
01:12:49
>> Cuz we have the most fun.
01:12:50
>> We love you so much.
01:12:51
>> Damn, dude.
01:12:52
>> Oh god.
01:12:52
>> And Brad, by the way,
01:12:54
>> Brad, by the way, for people that want
01:12:56
to know,
01:12:57
>> not just a great guy, great comedian,
01:12:59
has a special out right now. Please go
01:13:01
watch it. It's live. Listen to the title
01:13:03
of this. You ready?
01:13:04
>> Yeah.
01:13:04
>> It's real. Tell them the name of the
01:13:06
title. live on Short Street.
01:13:08
>> It was filmed on Short Street. The
01:13:10
theater the theater he filmed it at sits
01:13:12
on Short Street. Lex in Lexon, Kentucky.
01:13:15
>> And when does it come out, Brad? A
01:13:17
>> uh April 12th.
01:13:18
>> April 12th. Check it out.
01:13:19
>> April 12th on my YouTube channel. Go to
01:13:22
Brad Williams Comedy. You can you you
01:13:24
can watch it. Some might argue it's a
01:13:25
short film.
01:13:26
>> Okay.
01:13:28
>> Amazing.
01:13:29
>> Yeah, that dude. If that ever won, like
01:13:33
I should make that Seven Dwarfs of Seven
01:13:35
Dwarfs of Awitz. But make it a short
01:13:37
film.
01:13:38
>> Oh my god.
01:13:40
>> Just so we can win best short film at
01:13:42
the Oscars. That'd be so good.
01:13:44
>> That'd be so good.
01:13:45
>> He's a little funny. No, he's very
01:13:46
funny.
01:13:47
>> Go see the man live right now.
01:13:49
>> Brad, look into the uh and and say thank
01:13:51
thank you for being a bad friend.
01:13:53
>> Hey everybody, thank you for being a bad
01:13:55
friend.
01:13:55
>> Wow.
01:13:56
>> So good.
01:14:01
Woo!
01:14:04
Yeah!
01:14:06
Woo!
