00:00:00
you two are bad friends you are these two idiots why dude i'm an asian dude you two are disgusting well you two or something we're bad friends
00:00:12
america we are the ones who are the freest ones that's the worst of that i don't know any lyrics of anything america we are the ones who are the
00:00:25
freest ones we pledge our hate to everyone and we are the best it's the best we're the best
00:00:38
welcome back rudy jules you took a class you took a test what happened andre i took a test i took a test
00:00:46
wow did you get a hundred percent i did you got straight ace of course uh he took the american test and look at him
00:00:53
look at how cute he looks there look at him he's doing he's pledging the cameraman's going that guy has his neck just attaches to the face there's no chin look at this no mask and look at
00:01:04
the asian guy behind your mask interesting look at this dude you're giving up your
00:01:10
spanish heritage yeah you're one of us papa you're one of us welcome one of us one of us what about you gonna take the test
00:01:23
no i don't want to be an american [ __ ] you [ __ ] out of here you [ __ ] piece of [ __ ]
00:01:29
immigrants scumbag call ice call dude we're gonna separate from your mom i have a visa it doesn't matter i'm gonna put you in a cage oh i have a visa too i have a mastercard a visa i have an
00:01:41
american express you're not special i got gold [ __ ] i don't know what [ __ ] brands they are they're gold
00:01:47
cards man and they got buckets and buckets of money on them wake up lady wake up i'm gonna get a i'm gonna get a
00:01:54
porsche um my con can i tell you something last night bobby in the hallway me griff
00:02:02
and bob were in the hallway and he goes bob comes up he goes i'm gonna buy a porsche
00:02:08
and i was like no you're not he goes i'm gonna buy a porsche i'm gonna buy a makon mcgonn
00:02:14
it's a macabre and you go that's gonna get it that's not a real car i said it's not a real por and first of all it's
00:02:20
porsche it's not a real porsche it's not okay but it's not a but the macan is the suv it's not that big of a it's fine
00:02:26
good get it i want it i know but but what i'm saying is that if you bought a 911 i'd be like that's insane you have no business driving that
00:02:32
well that's why i'm see i'm trying to bridge the gap between your fancy and my ghetto now i'm not fancy oh my god bro
00:02:40
you're gonna make me so rageful right now racist rageful and racist let me say something i'm not
00:02:46
gonna reveal things on this podcast because you get angry all right but i don't know you're watching a little bit
00:02:52
right now but i'm going to say something i'm not blushing i'm thinking you're really really fancy [ __ ] i don't have anything i've been to your house it
00:02:57
looks like a [ __ ] showroom at ikea i know you've said this before and you have fancy cars cars that i ca
00:03:04
right you're just shaking your head so what i'm saying is is that i drive a prius that other people like
00:03:12
poor people drive first of all you have an audi at the house you're going to buy a mccann your house is bigger than mine so you're wrong it's not bigger yes it is it's
00:03:18
just fancier no it's bigger and fancier yeah we we live on a hill you live in flat grounds with you see what he's doing now
00:03:26
you're a piece of [ __ ] i'm not in mississippi yeah you live in the hollywood hills and i live i'm a really guy no i'm a blue collar guy who are
00:03:32
your [ __ ] neighbors bro who are your [ __ ] neighbors who are your [ __ ] neighbors because i
00:03:38
know your neighbor's a famous [ __ ] director no he just happens to be a producer a famous producer what's up dog
00:03:44
what's up doc yeah hollywood knights baby two thousand who's the other neighbor who's the other neighbor he used to be a writer for babylon oh cool
00:03:52
oh he has a house in the [ __ ] hills yeah so he's rich yeah my number my neighbors what's your neighbor people
00:03:59
yeah people people that own prop probably yeah they bought a house 30 [ __ ] years ago okay they're just
00:04:05
humans yours are rich hollywood see america america is a [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] he is a hollywood scumbag and he lives in the hills next to hollywood scum i live near human
00:04:15
beings that work just play golf i love golf i know isn't that [ __ ] high high up yeah yeah it's goldfish you can play golf for [ __ ] 20 bucks i play ping pong that's like an everyday
00:04:27
that's an asian thing you guys are right now it's kind of crazy you're right what i'm saying though is is that i've i
00:04:33
have anyone knows as sam tripoli asked anyone at the comedy store of all the people
00:04:38
because i crashed my prius into his car oh right you're remember that yeah right no i purposely did it i know i rammed it
00:04:44
but my point is is that um everyone at the comments ask anybody that parks the car is there anybody
00:04:50
what kind of car does bobby drive they'll say it's the worst of the worst yeah because because you don't care about stuff you
00:04:57
don't take care of nice things because i'm sober again and because i'm trying to treat myself better
00:05:02
because i'm trying to treat myself better god bless i i decided to get a better car and a nicer car to treat
00:05:07
myself better and then i did all this research and going you know what's going to work for me and my family and i
00:05:14
i took a risk i saw you and eric griffin last night and i go i'm going to get i'm so proud i'm going to get a porsche mcconaughey you guys laughed in my face
00:05:21
you left right at my [ __ ] yeah i want to go with you together but you're going to laugh at the dealer it's
00:05:26
going to be a whole thing no i don't want to i don't want to be shamed by it what i want to do honestly i'm being serious yeah i want to get you a good
00:05:32
deal so will you take i don't give a [ __ ] about the deal baby what does that sound like what a [ __ ] wrist
00:05:40
you know i said a bobby last night ago gas is like seven dollars a gallon he goes i don't give a [ __ ] and bobby goes i'll pour some out after i fill up i
00:05:46
don't like haggling when i go to tijuana and the kids go chicle right i got how much they go 50 i'll get it that's for
00:05:53
one piece that's what a rich guy i don't know i don't negotiate i don't like haggling when the little tiny mexican
00:05:58
kids go chickalette chicklet and i go how much and they say three dollars and i go one they go no and i steal them and
00:06:04
i run away with a kid i know you do hi hi first of all there's a myriad of things happening
00:06:09
yeah it's it's andreas's birthday today do you know this um he is an american citizen at zimbabwe and also coincidentally this is our st patrick's day episode
00:06:20
so it's my holiday it's fancy's birthday and he's an american citizen do you have anything you want to say to fancy
00:06:27
um blue and red looks good on you but green doesn't look good on youtube andrew i love it i love it that's you know what jewel you know i'm wearing this for the holiday yeah you don't look good
00:06:42
well does it look bad you look like a ghetto leprechaun a ghetto leopard yeah yeah like a leprechaun that couldn't get that
00:06:48
regular suit what a gold at yeah put them on a [ __ ] gold yeah but instead of goals you have like pesos
00:06:55
in a little cup at the end of your rainbow i'm the ghetto leprechaun yeah that's that's my favorite guy i want to
00:07:01
know where to go that i'm around a backhoe and uproot that tree i want to know where to go
00:07:07
[Laughter] all right you know what honestly this is brian the best yeah the best look at what my holiday brings out yeah fun humor we can take a joke yeah
00:07:20
this is the best part about st patrick's day it's about drinking it's about eating corned beef and cabbage it's about having fun making fun of irish we
00:07:27
can take a hit no but it's easy we all we take dead we're ugly we're orange we're pale we fight yeah we'll take the
00:07:34
hit you guys can't take a hit you say anything bad about asians everyone's up in arms oh really you're gonna break up
00:07:39
stop asian hate right now that's crazy start it up i you're no white people no no irish aren't white we're a different breed we're our own thing man we're look at me
00:07:53
you guys are so white though who looks like me nobody bill burr yeah an irish [ __ ] billboard irish yes what do you mean um who else is another one i have a question yeah
00:08:05
to andrea is your butthole red or do you want to see it i'm gonna show it how about this i take a photo of it and then you can see it just look yeah just look just
00:08:23
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah what color is it look just real fast just look faster what is it
00:08:29
what color is it look fast rudy look fast yeah yeah what color is yours let's see oh spread it open
00:08:43
what color one color brown what color because i just took a [ __ ] yeah what color was mine yours is white
00:08:50
white very white what's mine dark dark that's a cave it's a forbidden place and let me say something when you go inside there was there pooh
00:09:01
just yeah definitely but there's other things too like matchbox cars yeah there's a little tiny there's a ring inside of there there's a little ring in
00:09:06
there somebody's wedding ring is in there right yeah just fingernails from kalila loose fingernails matchbox and
00:09:13
also there's one cigarette in there in case of emergency break for emergency yeah have you ever have you read hemorrhoids
00:09:19
never i i mean you know what the thing is is the forbidden place my little dark footballer for been in
00:09:25
place i've had them yeah um you know there's black magic going on in there there's a little bit of dots in your ass little duck there's a little bit of dock
00:09:36
here's a little magic isn't there raise your hand in the street if you've had a hemorrhoid pete i know you've never had one no i never have
00:09:41
fans nope you i've had a few because of stress because of you what the first week on the show i got three hemorrhoids i'm not kidding really they all popped up what is the
00:09:54
hemorrhoids it a bump bat-bat-bap whitney got it from what is it it's an inflammation of the
00:10:00
uh skin on the anus and what it does is it's like a straight it's like a it's like a pressure stress
00:10:06
bump it's like i think it's the most it's your intestine coming out it's the what intestine yeah
00:10:12
intestines again intestine yeah look at there it is oh so it's like when you have when you make love to a
00:10:19
girl and you see she has a little pink tail where the little tube is sticking out that's that one that's a hemorrhoids exactly right i love when that happens
00:10:24
though right because is that a mole or is it you know i mean i love it so i've had those before man is it
00:10:29
because of stress can be it can be from pushing too hard when you poop it can become yeah it can be from going too much it can be from
00:10:36
going too little there's a million reasons that i get them because i've always had lately it's bad diet it's been you i don't think so
00:10:43
my doctor literally said we can't explain this do you spend an hour a week with a korean guy by chance okay i said you
00:10:50
better be that's crazy he said that really yes that's sad dr wong said that he's talked to his nation guy too yeah
00:10:57
chinese yeah yeah doesn't like korean dudes yeah maybe it's coming from his point of view
00:11:03
he led me down that path yeah i said i do do a podcast with the korean guy he goes this is worthy he probably supports a russian guy too
00:11:11
what's going on in the uk i get it look at this i did an interview this morning i wish i could have taped it i did a
00:11:17
zoom with fox like local fox syndicate for vegas because i'm playing vegas yeah this weekend yeah and the guy go and it was cutting in and out you know those tv they're terrible they're
00:11:28
so hard to do you do this through zoom yeah because i can be there yeah so he's like i'm zooming and it's cutting in and
00:11:34
out and he goes we tried to look for a clip of you being family friendly and we couldn't find it in your stand up and we definitely
00:11:40
couldn't find it on your podcast yeah and i said yeah this is not this isn't for kids the show's for grown-ups then
00:11:46
he goes well what if someone comes to a show this must happen and they don't like what they hear i go well they can
00:11:52
get out yeah and i said you know what else i'll do i'll refund their money i'll give them back their money if they didn't
00:11:57
like it and i'll buy them a first-class plane ticket to russia because this is america and we like freedom [ __ ] go
00:12:05
fancy sing absolutely sing give me the america for give me an american song go fans oh see conducive
00:12:17
that's all you know yeah yeah and we let you into this country as a [ __ ] citizen and that's all you know i know i
00:12:22
had a cheat card did you really yeah you cheated through the test yep fans [ __ ] call somebody that's
00:12:29
[ __ ] crazy that's crazy that's crazy call somebody can we remember somebody yeah let's report them should we report
00:12:34
him too late i mean you have the card i do what does this mean you don't you you wait you are
00:12:41
now a legit american citizen yeah that's [ __ ] crazy wait a minute did you really cheat
00:12:47
no you you took the test legitimately yeah i'm gonna call an ice agent right now i'm serious because this isn't cool
00:12:53
you're [ __ ] hey you laughing now i know marcus he's [ __ ] mean dude he's mean as [ __ ] is it by the book
00:13:00
you have to put it down you put that down marcus marcus hello yes marcus i got a guy here mark hello sorry about that hey buddy i have a guy here named these kids i got these
00:13:14
kids trying to play with these you don't get pencils hello i'm a little scared yeah marcus i have a guy here who's who claims to have gotten his american citizenship today
00:13:25
and he yeah oh you know yeah there's basically handing those things out good luck
00:13:32
and he tells me that he tells me he cheated on the test to get into the country he's standing right here what can we do to get him back out of here
00:13:38
he's a spanish spanish citizen but now he's american is he gay does it help does it help if he is big good time big time yes he is
00:13:51
let him stay you're good to go thank you marcus love you all right no pencils these kids with the pencils nuts he has
00:14:15
shows all the time what do you mean i did it a thousand times yeah how did you feel those mornings i would bomb
00:14:20
every single day i would i'd wake up with such dread yeah i hated it hated it hated it and because i was so edgy and everything out of my mouth was so filthy i no one ever like it like it never
00:14:34
moved tickets no it no it does yeah yeah so the club owner was like yeah nothing
00:14:39
yeah no you did but it was thanks for doing it yeah so i just stopped doing it they don't want you there yeah yeah i can't believe you said i don't look good
00:14:45
in green at all you look it looks like [ __ ] yeah yeah it's not my color so um you're
00:14:51
right honestly it's not for me i have some news you're more poo i'm more pale now with this
00:14:57
i have some news i want to share please i've been doing some soul searching rudy
00:15:02
you think it looks that bad huh all right go ahead andreas go ahead um i think i'm definitely going to adopt
00:15:16
i'm waiting for the joke there's no joke you're going to adopt a kid yeah you really are i think i'm going to
00:15:22
what why are you laughing i'm not please don't i think it's great i did some soul searching
00:15:28
why are you what because what it's like a stringent process i'm gonna start but it's but you have to qualify well if i don't get qualified well i'm
00:15:40
gonna lie just like he did light on the test there's gonna be some i know but i think becoming a citizen is less
00:15:46
first of all i'm gonna work out i'll look good what is that i'll just feel good i don't wanna look like a slob
00:15:53
right so i'm gonna i'm getting pedicures down do you know that no on on your not on my fingers
00:16:00
yeah yeah i guess sadly you're painting them no i went to the the professional who painted what came out on the table there of your foot what is it probably just debris
00:16:13
yeah anyway um so wait a minute you think getting in good shape looking good is gonna help you adopt a kid there's a
00:16:20
variety of things i'm going to do that's i think the poorest macan is a part of the oh that's why yeah yeah
00:16:26
right have you spoken to kala about this yeah we've been talking about it and she says let's adopt she's
00:16:31
i don't know you really want to do this i really do and i'll and i'll tell you what what i'm doing so i'm getting my nails done now
00:16:39
you know i've been losing weight can you tell why are you laughing no i think this is awesome stop laughing no i'm not laughing all right it really hurts when
00:16:45
you do okay i won't laugh right it's a dream of mine so um what i've been watching why are you
00:16:51
laughing i'm not all right so what i've been doing is i've uh i've been not playing video games so much
00:16:57
so at nights i go um after an hour and a half i tell the guys at warzone my my fire team is called the silly
00:17:04
billies oh silly billy yeah so i go silly billy's you were a part of it too i was a silly billy guy yeah but i go um
00:17:09
i'll go i'm off i'm done and i'm like really it's only midnight i go i know but i might be a father
00:17:16
wow yeah which can i not tell you that in the car yeah but are you going to take care of
00:17:21
it that's right that's a good question yeah that's it right take care of it you're going to be out
00:17:26
of the house i need room yeah he doesn't you're out yeah you're wrong and you said that you wanted to live on your own you're doing good right hit him hit him hard and why do you want to live
00:17:40
on your own because you want numbers huh yeah you want don't [ __ ] play dumb playthrough you went to a party and you got kovacs you're trying to catch some dick no
00:17:51
you [ __ ] dirt bag let me tell you something you want to move out because you want to
00:17:57
become i want to move out because bobby's annoying oh oh here we go really how annoying am i it was i annoyed when you broke my car did you hear what happened i didn't
00:18:10
break your car you used it last night and then i used it this morning and then it broke down all right but see when i was driving it at night right it was moving it was
00:18:22
flowing smooth there's a whistle on my face when i turn it on it said maintenance required what did you do did
00:18:27
you mate did you maintain it mine didn't say that because i was going to school well you didn't [ __ ] it was required
00:18:33
and you didn't do it his fault when it says maintenance required you've got to get it [ __ ] required you think the
00:18:38
machine is lying to you but i can't skip class oh [ __ ] you look at the asians yeah i can't i have to go to flash go to go get it i'm gonna [ __ ] jump
00:18:50
curve you're gonna [ __ ] up the curve no get the car fixed because i gave it to you
00:18:55
now you feel bad to apologize okay she won't all right so are you mad at me right now no okay so you're going
00:19:01
to move out because you want to be free and catch d day long i don't know yeah and then when i adopt a kid right simone or whatever the kid's name is i thought you said it was going to be
00:19:12
samoan a samoan kid will be bigger than me everyone's every kid's bigger than me
00:19:17
that's true but he's just going to be much bigger look at that yeah that could be your son i know
00:19:22
and i don't know how to play rugby you know i mean i don't know how to roast a pig but also maybe this is good growth for you maybe you do need a son who's
00:19:29
bigger than you yeah yeah you know he's more asian i i want to go outside on my race i'm going to come in great let's
00:19:35
just i'll come in yeah and so i opened the door hello bobby hi let me start over because i'm not going to say hello i want to be a different guy but you're you i don't know i'm going to
00:19:48
just be myself but like a little bit more serious do whatever you would do if this is the real [ __ ] all right here we go all right this is my associate we're
00:19:53
this is my association no i want to be the kid you got it oh you think the kids just in the
00:19:59
[ __ ] room they are all right well take it then they're not gonna do that well yeah because they want to know if the kid has any interest in you
00:20:06
it doesn't happen later i don't know but let's find out all right good evening it's four in the morning what are you doing in our [ __ ]
00:20:18
it's dark yeah but four a.m why are you here made the assumption that it was evening i
00:20:23
apologize good morning good morning how are you good morning um hello are you open
00:20:29
i mean you walked in anyway i'm sorry i didn't see a sign um whether it was open or closed but i know this is an adoption agency am i correct it is but we're usually not open until
00:20:41
you know like at least should i come back well you're here now so okay what would you like hello hi
00:20:46
my name is mr lee hi mr lee good to meet you and i would love to adopt a child if you may
00:20:52
you're looking to adopt it's a long arduous process just cash help how much cash do you have sir a couple grand it's more much much more than 100 grand
00:21:03
much more than that couple hundred grand that's fine that's close i have a couple hundred grand what color of child are you looking for i don't want core core
00:21:09
okay so you want either black or white no white no white no we have an awful lot of whites because if i get a white i just know this because i watch a show called long lost family
00:21:20
and it's a lot of white people on the show and so it's like i just want to know who you know my biological parents are when
00:21:27
they had a good life with the adoptive parents that's [ __ ] betrayal okay all right so can i tell you something
00:21:33
i feel i don't know like i'm not sir you're energy right now i feel like i'm i'm not gonna get one
00:21:40
right now my energy i'll tell you something right now man i love the box of awesome box of awesome is great let me say something during the holidays like christmas or my birthdays
00:21:52
and whatnot right i love opening up a box of awesome because they know what i like and i open it up and it's like the
00:21:59
kind of soaps i like right nick they have cool knickknacks in these boxes this bespoke post and their new seasonal
00:22:05
lineup a must-have box of awesome collections they partner with small businesses and emerging brands to bring you the most unique goods every single
00:22:11
month i gotta tell you what i got was the uh the pocket knife i think it was the frontier package is what it was
00:22:16
right isn't that what it was yeah it was uh developed 1980 it's uh it's pretty amazing it's become synonymous with french design and
00:22:22
utility pablo picasso used the number eight to carve his sculptures and navy officer eric taliberry and art to
00:22:28
explore gene louis etienne uh record sending sailor uh were swore by theirs okay this frontier pocket knife which i loved i used and i got and i might um i like bring it i love the locker i love
00:22:40
the hawker oh you do i use it all the time traditional blacksmithing methods used in the thai burma where this knife
00:22:47
is forged ground stamped and finished by hand exactly the way it would have been a hundred years ago it's amazing with
00:22:53
that they have a bunch of outdoor gear i have their decanter and their whiskey glasses they sent me on the first time i got a box of awesome to get started all
00:22:58
you do is take the boxing off some quiz at box of awesome dot com your answers are gonna help them pick the right uh box of awesome just for you get now you
00:23:04
can get 20 off your first monthly box when you sign up at box of awesome dot com and enter the code friends at checkout that's box of
00:23:10
awesome dot com code is bad friends for 20 off your first box box of awesome dot com code bad friends raycon
00:23:17
hey i go running a lot no i go running a lot and i know you don't run and i'm not kidding i called you and you joked around you said you called me i'm on my i'm on my peloton i've my raycon's
00:23:28
in i was running with raycons in i love the rake and the world's converged when you and i have raycons at the same time
00:23:34
you know i mean my channels tingle do they yeah well then you know because i think because it's the future it is the
00:23:40
future raycon wireless earbuds are the best way to bring audio with you because no matter how much you shake things up literally no matter how much you shake
00:23:46
they're not gonna fall out of your ears they stay snug when i see other people wear other earbuds from different brands
00:23:52
i go to them usually white and it sticks down recon you they when you when people see they think you're from the future they go what are you what are you they're from the jetsons yeah little little tiny
00:24:03
little ear buds that stick in there terminator eight hours of play time 32 hour battery life and they're priced
00:24:08
just right they're actually so much cheaper than these stereotypical earbuds that you get that are wireless and overpriced it's half the price usually
00:24:14
of other premium audio braces it's known a raycon's everyday earbuds have have over 48 000 five star reviews it's
00:24:20
insane right now uh bad friends listeners can get fifteen percent off their recon order at buy raycon dot com slash bad friends that's buy raycon dot
00:24:27
com slash bad friends to say fifteen percent off on recon dot com slash bad friends you really wanna [ __ ] adopt a kid bobby lee wants to adopt a kid because i i i'll tell you why
00:24:40
can i'll be honest with you please there's a show that i've been binging from season one to season six 90 day
00:24:46
fiance no long lost family this is real bring this up i've never heard of this in my life what's
00:24:52
long-lost family and is it all about people that got adopted yeah it's basically um a biologic not by
00:24:58
an adopted kid or parents looking for their son daughter or mother father right it's [ __ ] so sweet but it's crazy because some of them are so heartbreaking yeah you know i mean and
00:25:10
and so it's a great show and you cry in every episode and i realized that um you know a lot of kids they just need a loving home they need love yeah and for me it's like i wouldn't even like
00:25:23
when they when they're curious about their biological parents i would keep all the information and i would help them find
00:25:30
you know and then you know what what is this it's just me being i'm just i i right now when i when i'm more real
00:25:37
you're being real right right now i guess get a little jittery okay so one of my best friends from college was adopted
00:25:43
and this is a true story and his mom his biological mom one day reached out because of facebook facebook
00:25:49
is this way to connect to anybody in the world she dm'd him and was like hey were you born in this location at this year because i think i'm your mother
00:26:02
yeah and if you want to meet up let me know blah blah blah yeah i'm not going to tell you do you think he met up with
00:26:08
this woman yes what about you yes pete yes yeah no why he i think he had such a wonderful life with his adopted parents who are the [ __ ] greatest people i've ever met i love them yeah and that was his mom and
00:26:21
dad to him and he didn't want to meet up and by the way he's a [ __ ] adopted kid he has every right to feel that way
00:26:27
you don't know what that's like so we can't j i don't judge i can judge by watching the show i can you can i will you can't because you never lived that
00:26:33
experience but here's the thing you don't know what it's like he doesn't know the circumstances
00:26:38
in which his own life no listen would you listen and make that face here that you make
00:26:44
right he doesn't know the circumstances in which why his parents gave him up he does she she told him she told she said
00:26:50
why why because she got pregnant really young and it was with the guy she was seeing and she's right couldn't she didn't want to have the baby like when a
00:26:56
kid when when a mother like if when you were 15 and you had a kid right and you couldn't back in the philippines you
00:27:01
couldn't you know i mean you would probably give it up for adoption they have it in the philippines they have it and they put it outside they let it run around oh that's right until somebody
00:27:07
grabs you yeah if you but but i'm saying his circumstance it's his right to feel like he doesn't want to go [ __ ] meet those
00:27:12
people i totally stand with him good for him if he he's not being mean he just chooses not to go see them his family to him
00:27:19
were the people that raised him because dude let me tell you something as a guy who came from somebody yeah
00:27:24
whose biological father never raised me my stepfather did yeah that's my dad my stepfather is my dad
00:27:31
he was my dude he was everything to me my biological father was a guy that had me yeah yeah do you not talk to him we
00:27:37
do occasionally does he have red hair in california no does he have red hair where do you get your red hair thank you for your mom yeah my mom's side oh yeah my dad's sister i know she's my last name santino i know it's really easy
00:27:48
math to figure out where it comes from what you think a santino had red hair no right because they're italian that's
00:27:54
right your mother had that's right and i remember that because i started vagina so anyway
00:28:10
so i saw an episode this morning where um this young hispanic couple cuban you know the the girl was 15 the husband
00:28:18
was 16 they were in high school and they had a kid they had a kid they gave it up for adoption because they're kids but
00:28:23
then when they graduated they got married and had like five kids biological kids on their own oh wow but
00:28:29
the whole time they're thinking about the the kid they gave up yeah right because they had that
00:28:34
and then when they find the kid um the kid um djs like her his dad did like there's certain what's so funny
00:28:47
what what he dj's like daddy what is that how can you because a girl a girl was found her biological dad she's she has a she is
00:29:00
that's my boy dj like your dad what a [ __ ] [ __ ] that's [ __ ] they have the same
00:29:06
interests is what i'm saying dj yeah yeah yeah there was another girl who has an animal sanctuary but then she
00:29:13
finds her biological dad and he has an animal sanctuary too right so they have so it's in the blood is what i'm saying
00:29:19
you think that's in the blood oh you think it's just a coincidence i do really i do i do okay and can i tell you something
00:29:27
what i can't wait for you to adopt will you treat my son or daughter with respect bully bully bully i'm gonna
00:29:34
bully the [ __ ] out of your kids how about you i'm gonna bully them high really though let's go back for a second i'm not gonna be mean because i love you you're like family to me you're like my little
00:29:47
sister do you really want your own place because you want to be able to hang out with people
00:29:53
your own age and have a boy come over you do don't you yeah see so you listen it's okay you're how old
00:30:00
are you now 20. so you you wanna if you wanna go on a date and hook up you want a place to do it because you don't wanna go back to their house that's really
00:30:06
what it is no i also just want to live independently i know but come on you do want to be able to hang out with boys
00:30:12
and not feel weird yeah that's really what it is but she doesn't realize that's what it is she's 20. she doesn't pay rent at our house
00:30:19
she doesn't pay for really much of it how much is rent do you know how much rent is that you're like what would be
00:30:24
your scale of renting an apartment how much would it be uh i was looking it up it was like
00:30:31
almost like 1200 to 2000 that's about right you think you're going to work with a roommate yeah with the roommate can you afford that no right so what are we talking
00:30:42
about here who's going to pay for it i don't know but okay i'm saving you're saving but what i'm saying is is that
00:30:49
even when you save right and you have to pay you don't know the roommate usually sometimes right yeah yeah fourteen
00:30:54
hundred a month and they're annoying right they probably play their music really loud at four in the morning
00:31:00
you're not gonna have the dogs or the cats you won't because they're going to be with us right you're going to be very lonely
00:31:06
you're not going to be able to eat whatever you want to you can eat whatever we go to whatever you want i say
00:31:11
you want la merch we'll go to la merch you want to bow a steak house we'll go to spo steakhouse right for free i can
00:31:17
just eat mcdonald's look at that yeah 790 square foot average is 2 500 a month wow good luck so you so you think you're free if you eat mcdonald's
00:31:29
and you don't have a car payment and you live with a roommate and you penny pinch and spend a pinch it's when if you'll sit in your room and you grab two little penny two little coins and you just
00:31:42
squeeze it excuse me you make more money you make more money that's how more money comes out that's where it comes from well the penny angel comes
00:31:49
have you ever seen a penny angel show her the penny angel it's insane yeah it's not real yes it's folklore no
00:31:56
it's a wives tale but if you print you know her penny pincher you pinch it hot tight and a penny angel comes okay so
00:32:03
see that little number that's a penny so the penny angel will come into your room and go yeah yeah hello i'm the
00:32:08
penny and and and it says you how many pennies would you need yeah and what do you say
00:32:16
but why penny can i get like 50 bucks each what yes if you tell me how many pennies is in 50 bucks yeah so you have to tell her the math if you tell her the math she'll be able to give it to you
00:32:28
like ten thousand ten thousand pennies yeah how many monies is that i don't know goodbye you have to do math yeah
00:32:40
what the [ __ ] you think money is free and she doesn't have a lot of time because there's probably 10 million people at the same time penny pinching
00:32:46
yep she has to go to the you know what the penny angel the penny angel is carrying not only pennies but other
00:32:53
denominations for other [ __ ] countries obviously he's got rubies he's got the pesos yeah whatever the angel is
00:32:58
right it's whatever it is to you it doesn't matter thousands and thousands of pounds of just coins she's flying around so and
00:33:05
she only has a second and you [ __ ] up you [ __ ] up i'll just stay with you bobby that sounds good forever
00:33:12
not forever as long as we need you to be at his house he'll be at his house yeah i won't
00:33:17
take care of your kid you will no i won't why because it's your kid yeah but it's your kid if you're living in the house too it's your little brother if i ever have to go to the comedy store and do a set you've got to take a lyla's
00:33:29
out of town right what do i do should i get a babysitter you're a [ __ ] babysitter no
00:33:36
i'm gonna take care of the dogs and the kid and the kids no that's not me well here's the fix dummy put the kid
00:33:42
on the dog tie it to it or duct tape it yeah and then let them watch each other that's what we did yeah you just put duct tape on the kid and duck its duct tape its hands and its legs to the dog
00:33:55
and let it roam around the dog's big enough mm-hmm or what about this why don't we duct tape the baby to your body no
00:34:03
that's a [ __ ] great idea we duct tape what if you stick it in your body whoa this whole thing though it's bothering me what is your bull in a
00:34:13
china shop have you ever heard that phrase how could a bull even get in a china shop the doors are what do you mean can they fit in the
00:34:19
door of course there's a double door every child ever been in a china shop yes no for never never happened well
00:34:26
first of all i've never have you ever been in a i'm not saying a pure award imports or bed bath and i bring a china
00:34:31
shop you've been to a china shop where they only have china people not not cheesy people not chinese people
00:34:37
the the dishes and stuff yeah at a chinese restaurant no no no a china shop is different no it's not what
00:34:43
is the difference a china shop sells dishes and stuff the only recorded incident i know of which was the bull is the liberty
00:34:49
deliberately introduced to a china shop was one engineer by a famous american publicist and press agent jim moran who
00:34:54
in january 1940 led a bull through a new york city china shop as a publicity stunt so it did happen one time that's
00:34:59
insane that's enough for me and and then now we use it as a a turn of phrase yeah but i gotta tell you you could put a
00:35:06
bull in a china shop i'd rather put in a korean shop that's rude why do you think we're gonna eat it [Laughter] what do you think bull tastes like
00:35:19
well i'm sure bully bull is a male cow probably delicious yeah right yeah well no actually no cause there's probably
00:35:25
not enough fat it's probably more muscle but we have increa this restaurant we go to um
00:35:31
dang dang you've been there yeah have you really yeah in koreatown yeah yeah on western um they haven't we get the
00:35:37
oxtail soup oxtail soup is really good yeah that's really good [ __ ] do you like that you do so you're okay with that kind of
00:35:44
stuff yeah but you don't like most korean food i like korean foods that's not what you said to me off camera
00:35:50
that's let me ask you something what's better what's better it doesn't like it what's better korean food or filipino food
00:35:57
be honest korean food yeah yeah what is filipino food anyway filipino food is very
00:36:04
delicious is it yeah when we went to that island when we went to that island the philippines yeah and you go to the
00:36:10
speech and there's a gigantic table probably double the size of this right and there's a fish on there and other
00:36:17
stuff on it there's no plates at all you should eat with your hands yeah and they just go dig in and you
00:36:24
just eat with your hands and eat that's kind of cool though it's cool because why cutlery gets so it's like you have to wash all that stuff yeah yeah i do
00:36:30
like eating with my hands i don't know why we don't eat with our hands all the time and there's enzymes in your hands that that are good for you you know that
00:36:36
right and they also have michelin star quality restaurants in the philippines in cebu yeah wow really great
00:36:42
restaurants you've never been no yeah yeah you shouldn't you don't deserve they're afraid to you know in the philippines they're afraid to go into
00:36:48
what because if they think it's too snooty the shower oh starbucks oh they won't go in that's for rich people is it expensive kinda and like
00:37:00
the people that go there are like the rich people what are the rich people what did like what is that what does that even mean
00:37:06
like someone owns two goats at the same time i said two goats they have shoes hey i saw batman by the way finally we
00:37:17
can resolve this i saw it when you finally saw it when did you see it the batman two nights ago who'd you see it with by myself tracy didn't go
00:37:29
you're right tracy didn't go okay and it was pretty [ __ ] dog [ __ ] [Laughter] stand by my word samson simpson it was
00:37:41
trash it's so funny a guy on twitter said and i have it because i responded to him
00:37:47
i saw i responded to you you did you yeah what did you say he said i was siding with andrew and i saw it and he
00:37:54
said i think it's the best one yet yeah yeah okay so one guy on twitter no a lot of people are saying that but when you
00:37:59
said you i'm always right what was wrong what did you not like about and i responded bobby's always wanted would you not like about it
00:38:06
thank you jules i re i heard the wong what did i not like about the movie that we've talked about it for like five weeks straight i think we've talked about in every episode i know but you finally have seen
00:38:16
it so now we can get a real don't care about it it was [ __ ] okay it was [ __ ] nothing none of the
00:38:22
performances were good nope okay nope 85. i don't actually the only score i trust is audience i don't trust the tomato meter so 88 is pretty good yeah
00:38:35
um what was dark night 94. jesus you're welcome not even cl that that the dark knight was so [ __ ] good it can't be touched it can't fancy
00:38:48
i agree it it is so [ __ ] good it's amazing and this new one this new one it's just
00:38:54
because you want we all wanted another one it's not because that's that good you never saw it i did there's no way you did i died i saw it two nights ago
00:39:01
okay nothing about it let me ask you this don't stew any spoilers i'm not but the chasing you
00:39:07
didn't like between the batman and who great the chase scene was great between who the chase scene was great between batman and who batman and robin
00:39:18
you never saw you [ __ ] [ __ ] you [ __ ] [ __ ] you never saw it it was the riddler no it wasn't it was the red light no it wasn't it was the joker [Laughter]
00:39:32
you didn't see it why would you lose poison ivy why didn't you just watch the movie you know it was the penguin why didn't you just watch this it was the
00:39:38
penguin i just said it was the penguin it was the penguin yes i just said it yeah yeah i told you i said there was nothing
00:39:44
about it you liked it was fine how come you didn't get cast to pay the penguin you literally are a penguin body and i'm not being rude or diminutive you actually have a penguin body it's perfect bring him a picture of a penguin
00:39:56
right now please you think i'm being rude i'm being genuine you don't think you look like a penguin
00:40:02
i look like a [ __ ] leprechaun with this green shirt on you don't think that looks like that
00:40:08
i look like a [ __ ] leprechaun you don't think you look like that that's what i look like okay this show should be one of the leprechauns six shots of
00:40:15
espresso but not normal that's a hundred percent bobby lee look oh go to the one with the hair slick back the yellow hair slip back
00:40:21
yeah left left left there bobby lee that is me bobby that's true jules loves it i'm the big one all right i should have got cat
00:40:33
you should have been the penguin yeah the batman the new batman movie was great it was great you did like it yeah
00:40:38
but it wasn't the dark knight i know but it was still when you walked out no it wasn't the dark knight would you watch the next one
00:40:44
if it if oh actually would i watch i would want to watch it with another different batman yeah
00:40:51
oh so you didn't like robert patterson i went into it with bias but you didn't like him i thought he was great he dude he's a
00:40:57
great actor i didn't want him as batman so in my mind i already [ __ ] it up i know but it's like you can still change
00:41:03
your mind and go i was wrong the problem with you it always is that you are stubborn you are very stubborn no i'm not yeah and you're revengeful
00:41:14
current is the future of banking it really is you can spend save and manage your money better with the current app and their debit card benefits include
00:41:21
earn points on every swipe redeemable for cash back rewards no atm fees on over 40 000 in network all point atms in the us overdraft up to 200 without
00:41:32
overdraft fees helpful spending insights and budgeting tools to keep better track of spending this is the current card
00:41:39
they sent us these things current members are now able to earn four percent annual percentage yield apy on savings at 60 times the national savings
00:41:46
rate average that's pretty impressive and any member who signs up for current personal account can start earning interest daily by adding money to their
00:41:52
savings pod and enabling the interest feature remember we've partnered with current to give away 1 000 that's right current is
00:42:00
going to give away 250 dollars to four listeners to our show all you have to do is download the current app at
00:42:07
current.com bad friends for a chance to win that's pretty incredible you can win some money remember that's current.com
00:42:13
bad friends winners will be awarded april 1st so don't wait no purchase is necessary to win purchase won't increase chances of winning void where prohibited
00:42:19
eligibility restrictions apply visit current.com for full terms and conditions kern is a financial technology company not a bank banking
00:42:24
service provided by visa debit card issued by choice financial group member fdic the current annual percentage yield variable may change at any time terms
00:42:30
and conditions apply roman hey i have ed i know you do i i don't like to admit it
00:42:37
it's not that big of a deal millions and millions of men in fact so many people have ed it's more common than most people think 52 percent of men between
00:42:43
40 and 70 that's your age range will experience some form of ed right and i'm going to say something right now i was
00:42:49
really sad about having a but now i'm on roman right and i boom it's it's it's hard as a heart is a rock like the
00:42:56
wrestler of the rock it is yeah it's hard strong is the rock hey the benefits of ed treatment can help you reconnect with your partner and rediscover the
00:43:01
joys of sex or with yourself it doesn't matter if you're with somebody you can also get harder for you you know with roman you can get on a free online
00:43:08
evaluation and ongoing care for erectile dysfunction all from the comfort and privacy of your home a us licensed
00:43:14
healthcare professional will work with you to find the best treatment plan if medication is appropriate it ships to
00:43:20
you free with two days shipping what more do you want dude getting started is so simple just go to getroma.com bad
00:43:25
friends complete an online visit take care of your edu without leaving comfort or your home complete an online visit today connect with a u.s licensed
00:43:30
healthcare professional and take care of it go to getroman.com bad friends today if you're prescribed you're going to get 15 off your first month of ed treatment
00:43:37
make sure you're ready to have confidence and it's control this year get roman ready get roman.com
00:43:43
bad friends last week i did something we were doing comedy back to back right what are you talking about at the in the main room oh yeah when they were bringing you up on stage i would block you from going on stage
00:43:55
time out stuff don't let me finish let me [ __ ] finish i wasn't even done talking you can't [ __ ] interrupt me but you have
00:44:00
to say something that's correct three weeks in a row three weeks in a row we're in the main room green room
00:44:06
and bobby blocks the door from me going on stage and then i have to fight him on it and then he goes stop you're hurting
00:44:12
me when you [ __ ] block me from going on stage right and then so last night is what you're talking about yeah then i
00:44:18
held you from getting on stage that's being your revenge fault that's paying you back that's that's the payback is
00:44:24
your deal what do you mean revenge what would i do let you just not let you get away with let it go
00:44:31
what's your thing blocking people i'm still i steal what you steal pranks you steal others i stole you blocking you yeah that's my thing oh that's your [ __ ] my essence oh that's your [ __ ]
00:44:42
that's my bit oh my god you did the same thing i'm gonna do the same thing it was so dumb and also can i just say something you
00:44:48
want keenan was in the audience you want to talk about i need to go up on stage you want to talk about dumb oh you're going to
00:44:54
if you're going to bring up something if you're going to bring up something i'm going to bring up okay go ahead no go ahead
00:45:02
tell me tell me so last night i was going to go up on stage and you go how does it feel like buddy yeah i said how
00:45:08
does it feel yeah yeah how does it feel you little [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah yeah and it's like number one and i can tell you
00:45:13
weird because first of all people that haven't seen us back to back like in real life you're six foot
00:45:20
something six one i'm five one two that's ten feet four feet yeah i'm way taller yeah and so you're a bully
00:45:27
because i can't get through you you can really get through me i couldn't get through yes you can you said you're a little penguin apparently you're why you
00:45:33
can't wipe out a penguin you're as wide as the door it's hard to get around you you're like a [ __ ] doorstop how do i get around that thing all right so what
00:45:39
i'm saying is it's like putting a [ __ ] bowling ball you're a bully what you did last night was bullies you started it
00:45:44
it's my prank it's not a it's what a little man does it's what a little man does to the big man it's because a
00:45:50
little man feels insecure and that's your problem not mine but the big man so go outside when the big man does the little man it looks weird you by the way
00:45:57
you start that stuff at the store and bobby had a [ __ ] phenomenal set last night it was a little annoying oh dude
00:46:02
thompson came to watch bobby watch bobby crush keenan thompson shout out to that [ __ ] dude he's a comedian one of the
00:46:08
nicest guys i think he's one of the best comedians that's ever graced that show and i'm not placating i actually mean that because
00:46:14
every time i see him i'm always like god that's he's so it looks like he's having fun whatever
00:46:20
that means it looks like he's having a good time but he watched you and well first he came up then he left i was in the park like he gave me hug give
00:46:26
me a hug big hug he goes how you doing man i got good what is that an impression of keenan
00:46:31
yeah okay and i go um there he is you know him yeah from snow yeah she watches us so keenan comes up he gives me a hug and i go and i go um
00:46:43
oh you're going to watch he's like i want to watch you so he comes in right and you know
00:46:49
he blocks me from the stage yeah to go up yep so keenan's in the audience keenan doesn't i'm trying to get up
00:46:54
i know but i'm trying to get up right which [ __ ] me up you still did great well i'm a professional
00:47:02
i'm a pro okay right and then um because you blocked me when i left the stage i go keenan what does that mean let's leave the room oh because i was going on this yeah
00:47:14
that's good i wanted him out of the room um i was actually telling someone i go can you get those guys out of the seats out
00:47:19
of the room can i say i have another resentment towards you please don't why when we talk about real things don't roll your eyes dude okay you say out of nowhere i have a resentment towards you what do you want my [ __ ] reaction to
00:47:31
be be curious to see okay you can resolve it say it again i'll be curious go ahead
00:47:36
and out of love say it again i have a resentment towards you what is it do the oh i roll it's better okay it's more do it again yeah yeah i have a resentment towards you what is it okay good
00:47:49
what did it so you went up in the main room and i don't know why but at the comedy
00:47:54
store emily in the main room thinks that it's just better to put me after him yeah yeah it's not it is rhythmically it is i don't think so it works better and
00:48:07
you know you've been doing way more stand-up than me and i have to admit right now and i think you'll like this i will admit this to the world you're a
00:48:14
better stand-up than i am you have better jokes it's just we're different dude it's i don't know what you're doing right now because this is the kind of [ __ ] i said you agree with thank you that's not on camera you would say
00:48:25
something else no i wouldn't yeah no i would say you're a [ __ ] liar thank you for saying something nice but i
00:48:30
we're very different so that's true yes but the other night you crushed hard i did
00:48:38
okay [ __ ] it okay okay i did you crushed hard it was good right you brought me up yeah pretty good intro i give you always good intros great but
00:48:49
i give better ones because i said i love you last night okay you never say love because you never say i say i love him
00:48:56
to the doesn't get a laugh you want to get a laugh when i bring you up i'm very sincere i go i i love him
00:49:02
and that you know that because when you went up on stage let's say you go that's really nice that you said i said it was very nice right but you never say that
00:49:08
about me what do i say about you i say nice i love you i say this guy's amazing he's one of my best friends we do so together so when you went up crushed
00:49:15
right yeah and literally for a minute silence what do you mean when you got when i went up no yes yes i couldn't get it going so then i'm like
00:49:28
now because it's you that crushed and and also like half the like core of the crowd are bad friend fans so now i'm
00:49:35
going oh they know oh this is terrible this sucks right and then i just started spinning and
00:49:40
the only way i could get laps is riffing were you killed so i had to riff to get some laughs it ended up killing and then
00:49:46
afterwards when i came up to you ago and i told you my thing you mocked me i go i i go to because i really did eat it i came up with switch i was sweating
00:49:57
and i was you know how your heart pounds and like what the [ __ ] just happened right it all happened to us and i go i just ate it and you were like oh [ __ ]
00:50:03
you no you didn't not mock me but like brushed me aside no i was saying to you but then i realized
00:50:08
let it go [ __ ] it what i realized later the reason why you did that because you ate it in the original room
00:50:16
i did bad i heard that yeah that it was really embarrassing it was embarrassing i just
00:50:21
didn't i didn't have any shots i heard it was the worst oh and who said that whoever was on the lineup who was
00:50:27
on the lineup marc maron mark said hey he just goes home yeah he tinkers with his cats yeah
00:50:34
shout out to mark maron and his [ __ ] cats i love him oh so do you know where andreas regular straight us we could take it so we can
00:50:40
just have to walk around these are his regular street clothes that's insane after you pass your citizenship test you have to wear that right i did not know
00:50:46
don't you it's funny to it's funny because i keep looking down at where you should be yeah but there's almost nothing there it's like a barbie doll it's like it's like you could say ken
00:50:58
doll same thing but yeah yeah fancy yeah first of all happy birthday thank you it's your [ __ ] birthday it is bobby and i spent an enormous amount of money
00:51:10
on your gifts i bet all american gifts to like about seven months well six but yeah
00:51:16
let's not give or exaggerate i'm excited all right well let's open some of your gifts because it's your birthday we're excited specifically this first one
00:51:22
right right there it's specifically from andrew that's this is from me yes this is true this is actually from me very oh
00:51:27
wow and he got you oh did a little american soccer ball yeah it's a no it's a football kiddo i mean football let me see you throw it buddy let's see you throw it to big big
00:51:39
red really good sweetheart put your hands out let's see me throw it to you back you ready can you catch this yeah nice and you can talk to it like in the
00:51:50
movie castaway all right so that's your first american boy gift how do you feel about that that brown ball good good honestly i've never been able to quiet once what i'd like
00:52:01
the white ones better but it's throw it to me yeah he likes it when it's wide i honestly this do you put your fingers
00:52:08
in here like this yes yeah on the left you just throw it like this you throw it like this and you spin it
00:52:13
very good here let me see yeah i don't know how to spin it little american boy right i know but here's coming at you
00:52:21
calling my friend yeah yeah yeah slowly there it is let me see one more time right here wait how do i laces and then right there
00:52:33
nice [ __ ] inches away from really how you do it all right do it do it hard as you can hard as you
00:52:39
can [Laughter] don't all right american boy you got your little footballs all right so that bag right there is for me go ahead this is from you yeah this is from bobby yeah
00:52:55
that's the site of this big one andrew will explain it because he knows yep there you go do you know what this is
00:53:01
diabetes yeah this is corn syrup so this is one of our favorite things as american citizens we love it we love
00:53:06
this stuff hint of vanilla so in the morning i know you're going to think this is crazy yeah because it's not on your test it's kind of like you know
00:53:12
kind of like when you learn spanish but there's street spanish and then there's schools this is an american thing they don't talk about we take a shot of this every
00:53:18
morning when we wake up oh cool here's also we do at night we we you know your ice cube tray yeah you replace your
00:53:25
water with that we freeze it right yep and you just stick a cube in your mouth while you're falling asleep that's right
00:53:30
right so it just you can get a taste of it throughout the night you can also use it for lube
00:53:36
that's right very good lube right this the so the the small red one is from rudy
00:53:47
what is that rudy uh protein whey protein and a little weight and why'd you give it to that term because fancy needs to lose some weight no well that would damn
00:54:00
i'll take it i'll take it yeah yeah let me see you do some curls yeah look at that can i teach you how to do curls put that stuff down real fast put them both down i'm going to teach you the easiest way
00:54:12
put the protein down this is the i'm going to tell you the proper form do curls put your hand like this
00:54:17
and now like grab like a coke can okay now put it up up above your head and then like put okay and then go like this ah like that and then shake a salt shaker into your mouth that's it that's it
00:54:32
okay next gift wow are you so happy you're getting all these little american boy
00:54:38
this one's from pete this is from pete and this is from pete and carlos and carlos oh
00:54:44
nice nice who is that jules uh so [ __ ] fun i knew she wasn't gonna know yeah who is that jules the greatest american hero in history period period in terms
00:54:56
of music fought in [ __ ] world war one two and three and three three and the future one that's gonna come up this
00:55:02
guy's a [ __ ] this guy is yeah dare i say the boss yeah mick jagger nick [ __ ]
00:55:08
jagger you got it you got it my god name one of his songs mick jagger that guy what's one of his [ __ ] songs
00:55:33
you know the jonas brothers why would those information be in your head and you don't know who the [ __ ] is
00:55:38
embarrassing hey it's his birthday that's trying to open up gifts what do you got there buddy what does my little friend have
00:55:46
beef jerky and cigarettes yay welcome to america yeah excuse some things this is what i was waiting for stick it in your mouth yeah
00:55:58
that's it well that's the american way that's the american way so here's the deal there's only a few people you can point
00:56:04
that at your wife a cop or yourself oh that's it that's it enjoy the gun you do realize we started this show yeah bad friends two years ago with a gun yep oh yeah that was fun
00:56:19
what did you get you got you got dip i got dip is that a tin of dip buddy um throw me that hoss do you know how to
00:56:26
pack a dip do you know how to pack i have no idea you've seen this fancy you ever seen this
00:56:32
okay that's how you pack it mm-hmm you never seen this never okay so you put your hands like this and use this hand
00:56:37
as like a floppy do you see that yeah and that packs the dip in so go ahead and do it
00:56:43
what's a dip it's tibet it's tobacco there it is let's see very good american boy what else did you get kiddo you got dvds uh bonanza oh bonanza
00:56:57
show yeah what else yeah kenny rogers oh wow so good so good he won't take his music down from spotify
00:57:09
all right what else do we got up there okay man this is your last gift and look at
00:57:14
me in the face before you open it this is actually from all the bad friends this is from all of us what is it
00:57:21
it's a porno mag it's muscle it's my favorite a good one this is before the internet but yeah thank you
00:57:27
okay what do you mean it's post internet too okay okay can i see the hustle real quick i haven't seen one in a while that's
00:57:33
awesome and a beer helmet yay all right fancy do you want to close out the episode and say thank you for all your gifts thank you
00:57:49
why don't you look in that camera and thank everyone for being a bad friend go ahead
00:57:55
so thankful for being an american this this country has dreamed me so well thank you for being a bad friend
00:58:09
i watched the frank sinatra documentary on netflix did anybody see it you bob you would love this
00:58:15
i would never watch it really i don't like them you don't like frank sinatra what the [ __ ] what the
00:58:21
[ __ ] does that mean what the [ __ ] does that mean i'm gonna tell you of course you do everybody
00:58:26
likes [ __ ] frank sinatra i don't like you know how they you know what i mean what is it hey baby i don't like it you don't like that baby i don't like it by me you know i mean i don't like the
00:58:37
whole suit thing no yo yeah i don't like it the music sucks [ __ ] you new york i don't give a [ __ ] about no new york right what do you want to sing about california
00:58:57
no he's a good dude no i i know i'm sure he's a great guy i know nothing about the rat pack and the whole thing is just
00:59:02
not my thing why is that not your thing i don't like the music i don't like what they represent i don't like what are they
00:59:08
right they're chivalry i don't like any of that you don't like chivalry no yeah you like treating women like [ __ ]
00:59:14
no i just opening up the car door you have hands [ __ ] open your own car that's the kind of attitude i like to hear yeah yeah but no because of the
00:59:21
thing is is that we're equals what men and women are equals i view them in an equal playing field that's why i say it so they should pay for half of everything they should open
00:59:32
their own doors i i pay for things right for everything yeah but i do it to dudes
00:59:37
too when like if i'm like if i'm going out with andreas never happened never will but go
00:59:44
ahead we've had dinner before though yeah yeah only because it was a bad friend's dinner that i organized anyway
00:59:49
if i'm going out with somebody like carlos which i have carlos from this show yes
00:59:55
not after an aaa meeting just regular maybe after a minute that sounds right yeah all right well forget it then let
01:00:00
me give you another name anybody kind of hard to find another name it seems like you know like it seems
01:00:06
like you're searching for openers like raheem anwar back in the day love for him right so actually i want to tell a story
01:00:12
me and schwartzen went out to this place called jinpachi it's a nice sushi restaurant and we're
01:00:19
like hey bob come meet us for for dinner and bobby shows up we've eaten already like three quarters of the
01:00:25
meal and bobby's like oh no no no just i'll order when i get there bobby's late as usual
01:00:30
we're done he orders a bunch of sushi he has no idea how much we've ordered and then tr to trying to be cool and
01:00:37
sweet and nice which is very generous bobby's like i'll get the tab i'll i'll pick up the bill and i was like are you
01:00:42
sure because it you know and you had no idea it was so expensive it was like 580
01:00:48
yeah i was like yeah yeah as soon as he took the bill and then he opened up and he went like this he went
01:00:54
what um you had no idea [Music] foreign