00:00:01
hey ooh look at this sh it's the competition the competition is on for only a couple more weeks ladies and
00:00:07
gentlemen you got to go to bad friends merch.com we're competing to see who can sell more shirts and the loser the loser
00:00:13
has to do what Robert the loser has to massage the other guy but naked on camera yeah yeah and everyone's going to
00:00:19
see it across the universe so this is my little beautiful I'm Bobby mom shirt and he's got his beautiful little cartoon
00:00:25
show say something about his though it's a great shirt it's a catchphrase it's like glorious right but you can find
00:00:31
that on Etsy my point is that but this one right here this Miyazaki one man it's so
00:00:38
original it's cute you can wear it out yeah you can wear it out okay but this one you could wear in so wear this
00:00:44
inside go badf friends merch.com badri merch.com for this only two more weeks left of this competition once the year
00:00:50
once the competition is over we don't sell the shirts anymore that's it and also this weekend we're in Salt Lake City uh then Tula Reno Sacramento Long
00:00:57
Beach Windsor Niagara Falls Tucson then we we finish in Vegas uh April 20th April 20th in Vegas we end the tour so
00:01:05
uh that's it for a while we're not going to tour again until 2025 or something go to badf friends pod.com for those tickets badf friends pod.com you two are
00:01:12
bad friends who are these two idiots white dude and an Asian dude you two are disgusting you two are something we're bad friends hey ladies Isa you've done
00:01:26
this before right yeah she did it one time I when did she do it huh when did she do it I forgot she did last year last year at the end of last year right mhm all right let me see if I won the
00:01:37
millionaire jackpot and this was given to Bobby because Carlos hit Bobby's mom in the face pretty hard yeah 10 top
00:01:44
prizes of a million doll any of your numbers match the winning numbers okay so the winning numbers are 152 28 36 and
00:01:52
4 now if I win is it just me and you or do we going to give some to the girls give some yeah obviously now with that
00:02:00
attitude yeah after that attitude you know what um you dictate Deport them Deport okay good if I don't win you get
00:02:06
deported we're deporting them so if I don't win even a little bit even like a dollar you guys are both going back to
00:02:13
the Jungle baby you know where you are you're in the Philippines baby and you're going to die all right 436 285 and two let's go so no no
00:02:29
no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no I don't get out get out I don't
00:02:40
want to go V too bad too bad not my problem dude the lotto dictated all that 36 man I was too off but twice really
00:02:48
tough to win these things I don't ever get these things my whole family loves playing the lottery uhuh and it's the sad as [ __ ] but the big lottery right
00:02:55
now I just saw in the news what's the Powerball up to right now 88 million oh wow shouldn't we get it I'll buy the ball you buy the Power Ball I would buy that gigantic red ball wow that would be
00:03:07
amazing how much is that what's it is that ball what is it made of the Power Ball itself
00:03:14
yeah money I feel like there's liquid in it what's in there it's like boba boba the power Boba Ball but also just unicorn [ __ ] is inside there yeah yeah yeah wow that's where it's been the
00:03:25
whole time is unicorn come good no I don't think so right not as yeah it's probably rainbow color it's too because
00:03:32
unicorns are so physically active right right it's got to be it's just I feel like it would taste good like what they
00:03:38
make Starbucks drinks out of that out of unicorn unicorn the Unicorn I a venty unicorn unicorn C half sweet yeah well I
00:03:46
didn't know is that like a side menu special menu if I that's in the Philippines oh in the Philippines they
00:03:52
have it oh you have unicorn come and Pog POG po POG POG oh he wants me to go POG
00:03:59
poging where you go you know POG POG is sifting through the trash what's POG POG where you go sifting through the trash
00:04:05
yeah what's POG POG POG POG is two unicorns [ __ ] no no no that's not P it does make that sound it does make that sound you're you're right P but isn't there a dish in the Philippines
00:04:17
called pog pug pug pug yeah p a p a pug pug pug Pug's like he sent it to me look
00:04:24
it up it's it's when you go dumpster diving and you make food out of dumpster what's it called there look POG POG POG
00:04:30
POG the I've never I've never had it but I know how do you say it how do you say it po the what what the [ __ ] did I well
00:04:38
let me hear you hold on POG po say say it again POG POG no you say it bug bug bug bug yeah they're sounding like bug
00:04:45
bug bug okay so what it is look at these photos you dig through the trash we go back to the Wikipedia and it because I
00:04:51
think it says there's a a literal definition of it it's the tagalong term for leftover food from restaurants
00:04:56
usually from fast food restaurants uh scavenged from sites and dumpsters and then you collect a dinner out of it you
00:05:02
guys have never heard of this before or I've seen the exact real that I think you're talking about wow that's just insane so you've never seen people eat
00:05:09
it no oh cuz I thought that you ate that and did a shot of unicorn com it's probably a tradition somewhere yeah yeah well that's tagalong you guys speak the other one talo right what is
00:05:22
it no which one do you speak Mah okay [ __ ] shut up how many are there that that island is the size of like Los Angeles there's a lot of dialects how big is the Philippines it's not that big
00:05:33
it's not that it's small there's just a lot of islands there's just so many people though there's too many not too
00:05:38
many no I think so it's a good amount home to 120 and 180 between 120 and 187 languages that is [ __ ] absurd too
00:05:45
many in America we have one Spanish oh yeah Spanish Spanish baby Spanish is there a better language did Spanish no
00:05:51
it's the most globally spoken language right is it really I thought English dominated chines no Chinese chines
00:05:57
Chinese well CH wait it's Mand you know whates here since you've been here you've been very [ __ ] like like since you've been gone yeah I can't Brea
00:06:09
for the first time they're killing it you got to let them go so good so um you have to introduce for the people that
00:06:16
all right so ladies and gentlemen boys and girls hello welcome to another episode of tiger belly I mean pop B
00:06:25
friends bad friends I mean because I see them all the don't get so angry but anyway ladies and let me start over ladies anding binging Bing ladies and gentlemen boys and girls
00:06:35
welcome another episode of bad friends the greatest podcast on Earth with the greatest host Andrew Santino what a
00:06:42
handsome young man leading actor big star give him a round of applause ladies and gentlemen thank you so much I love
00:06:48
this podcast anyway we've got two we got two we got two beautiful we got you know
00:06:54
a regular here she's a part of the family we've got [ __ ] jwes here but then her sister from the Philippines is
00:07:01
here for a couple weeks she you're leaving tomorrow I am yeah but um it was really good to see you and so give her a
00:07:08
Issa give her what's your what's your Instagram tag cuz I know you like followers cuz you always want me to like
00:07:14
you always want should I tag you on this or you want to repost it no every time we take a [ __ ] photo want I know she
00:07:21
wants to be famous so every time we take a photo you like uh you want to collaborate or you want to and I'm
00:07:26
always like [ __ ] you so my point is throw your Instagram out okay it's is AA but with a double z and
00:07:33
an R okay Double R you heard it here first mhm yeah yeah how old are you now I'm 15 don't show her Instagram to
00:07:39
anybody what are we talking about she's a kid be think so it was so weird when like the people like from here found me they started like bombarding my DMs was like the weirdest thing gross this is
00:07:52
disgusting this is our family here on this show you can only uh DM or even follow her click to follow her her is it private private uh yeah good and you can only even try if you're under 17 mhm
00:08:06
right mhm under 1 she has a boyfriend now though it does I'm just saying in general even if like what does that have
00:08:11
anything to do with anything right now I know you do have a boyfriend I do how old is he he's 16 I thought for a second
00:08:18
I thought she said 60 and I was like welcome to America he's 16 you're 15 he can drive
00:08:26
no no you don't have cars there what oh you oh like is it like The Flinstones their feet
00:08:32
unicorn wait a minute you but he can oh it's in the Philippines that's right I forgot there do you get licenses there
00:08:38
at 16 or no no you can only get the yeah the students permit is at 17 and then 18
00:08:45
is the legal driving age but no one really drives no there's a there's a lot I mean you could afford your dad's a
00:08:52
lawyer I like his car I don't want his car what does he have oh he just has an Elantra but he like tweaked it so it's
00:08:59
like it's a tricked out Elantra yeah Andrew I want to tell you can I tell you something we are the best country in the world we are we really a lawyer drives an Elantra I know tough
00:09:10
times over there a Mitsubishi Elantra is top tier yeah but they have running water that's good that is that your
00:09:17
cousin's name running water no but they they they at one point they didn't have running water remember no way yeah we no
00:09:23
they did no they didn't no but your dad has a tricked outut alantra and you love it yeah is he going to give it to you I
00:09:30
hope so me too mhm we'll we'll tell we can ask him yeah let's ask him and then you have two little two little brothers yeah they want it too comp oh really yeah but you're the old you're the
00:09:40
oldest yeah so you get it are they still crazy or no every time I see them they're just running around in circles the youngest is crazy you just want to like punch him all day you don't like
00:09:52
him how old is he 10 10 okay yeah yeah he's a child but he's just so but they grow up faster there no they don't yeah they have he has a mustache like [ __ ] Manny Pacquiao they all have they're
00:10:04
born with mustaches in the Philippines what were you going to ask me what oh no I was going to tell you that my mom has
00:10:09
like the biggest crush on you also why is there a dickpick on your house what what what's up of what of like dicks there's like a big dick and
00:10:21
like small small dicks like around it Polaroids what are you doing you have dickpics at your house on the wall I lit whose dicks are they I lit have no whose dicks do you have on your wall have no
00:10:32
whose dicks are on your wall at your house first of all I'll leave here right now and go your house and see back up
00:10:37
right now D no cuz you don't do this to you disrespected me first of all and called this [ __ ] uh B uh uh belly
00:10:43
tiger [ __ ] whatever the [ __ ] that I'm going to go to your house if there's other dicks on that wall that aren't mine we're in a [ __ ] fight it's your
00:10:49
dick dude no it's not I know is it Orange it's kind of orange it was your dick oh all right then we're cool anyway
00:10:55
can I explain the dick pick or no please we're all waiting so you know the Wednesday
00:11:01
meeting I go to yeah right so I go to this Wednesday that's what you guys do at AA that's not what we do so there's
00:11:08
this guy named I can't say his name because it's but anyway there's this guy who's a newcomer and one day he goes hey
00:11:15
let's do a Christmas like elephant whatever Christmas elephant thing right a white elephant yeah whatever where
00:11:21
every you you draw a name out of the [ __ ] thing yeah so I get him for some reason right and I brought I forgot
00:11:27
about it so I brought cash so I gave I gave a friend of my $100 and then this other guy gives me a beanie inside the Beanie was that [ __ ] Polaroid of a
00:11:40
dickpick of his dick I don't know whose dick it is but when I opened it up and I did it I go oh [ __ ] I don't I said just
00:11:46
put it on the ledge you kept it but why is there like one big dick and then like
00:11:52
small dicks around it wait wait in one photo you really are in Hollywood yeah in one photo yeah did I take it I don't
00:12:00
know dude this is what Cat Williams was talking about what you're in Hollywood dude you're getting dick weird dickpick
00:12:06
Polaroid proposals you are [ __ ] Hollywood who's more Hollywood now bad friends fans the guy that has dick piics
00:12:12
on his wall no no so that's is wow dude you I'm not ashamed you're evil you're in the I'm not evil I'm not ashamed who
00:12:18
did you who did you have to suck to get that fox deal oh we want to give you a show no no no so anyway why did you put it on your wall why didn't you on a oh
00:12:29
my God you guys are [ __ ] where is it yeah if I was ashamed of it why would I I put it with a drawer put it right
00:12:34
there why throw it away it's funny people walking up see gigantic dickpic it's funny okay I don't know would you
00:12:42
have dickpics in your house guys just laying around Carlos car thank you car that's why you're in the program too
00:12:48
right but I mean you know if you're going to first of all do you want to clean my house again again and you're
00:12:54
telling everybody the inside secrets of my house I'm just telling like weird stuff in your house yeah you have a dick
00:13:00
on display thank you I'm not ashamed of it also this right it's so contradictory to what you just said you're mad about
00:13:07
it but then she's like no it's displayed you're like right I'm not not embarrassed I'm not embarrassed I'm adding up but my point is this okay is
00:13:14
just that next time you see some stuff like that but I can't keep a secret I have to tell it see something say
00:13:20
something thank you Rudy okay you got to teach them right they're doing good yeah and then why is it when you clean my
00:13:25
house if you want to just if you want to talk about things then let's talk about things on the show talk about whatever you want on the show why is it why is it
00:13:31
when you clean my house and stuff like that um I see your phone it's on uhoh right and you're in a different room okay you're in a different room cleaning but who's on the phone oh my boyfriend
00:13:43
yeah yeah and he's just laying there like this e what yeah so she's cleaning another room like she you're FaceTiming
00:13:49
and he just lays there but he's not even she's not in she's downstairs because we just like she's
00:13:55
downstairs right and I'm I'm getting a drink you know me in the kitchen and I look I see her phone and I see this
00:14:01
gigantic nose oh my God oh my God what he doesn't have a big nose no he doesn't have a big no does he have a big nose no see is that wide no okay it's normal
00:14:12
from where you from but from here dude yeah it's snuff all up I guessing your nose all right your nose is not even normal so don't make fun oh go ahead
00:14:23
call me out what's up with my nose now what is up with your nose tell me about my nose why is it not normal let me see
00:14:30
lift up yeah it's yeah well I don't know yeah it's pretty really good pretty normal yeah yeah anyway why do you have
00:14:37
this kid he's your slave what do you mean it's creepy that he watches I'm cleaning the house but
00:14:43
I'm not even in the room but you have to stay on you know I mean on the phone on
00:14:49
FaceTime we just like to stay on call it's normal for us the fact is he likes it yeah g it's love maybe no that's not
00:14:57
love that's weird he just there while she cleans that sounds like some weird fetish [ __ ] no because he's watching
00:15:03
something and we're just doing different things but staying on call you're does your boyfriend stay on FaceTime with you when you're doing something real that's
00:15:09
maybe it's just what young people do it's what they do these wh no FaceTime my wife are you [ __ ] out of your mind
00:15:17
I live with her yeah FaceTime no you don't do that you don't do I mean we FaceTime if I'm like across the country
00:15:24
on the road but your boyfriend lives in the same city you call them it's different they young people do FaceTime
00:15:29
[ __ ] okay they love FaceTime anyway how many times have you done FaceTime what do you mean in general you
00:15:35
never do FaceTime I do it every night to who to who I've been FaceTiming somebody
00:15:42
every night who you been FaceTiming Cleveland have you been FaceTime you know what dude what's going on here
00:15:48
today what is going on here today that's why everybody wore your shirt so they could call you out for [ __ ] and make you not feel bad yeah anyway I do FaceTime
00:15:55
and um U are you FaceTiming with someone that you um enjoy right right now yeah how long do you stay on FaceTime with
00:16:00
this person half an hour maybe that's pretty good do you remember when we were young and we talk on the phone to to
00:16:06
someone we liked for hours no when we were like young young oh my God and they would sit on the phone for hours and hours and hours you guys don't know
00:16:12
about land lines no in when I was when I went on the road my first road dat was in San Antonio and I was seeing this
00:16:19
girl Jennifer field remember the girl that texted me when I was 23 I ate her [ __ ] vagina in in her mom's closet
00:16:24
who could forget yeah who could forget yeah yeah yeah yeah and I remember going to cuz I was
00:16:31
opening for menia Carlos menia and we're at the um that San Antonio Mall LOL not
00:16:37
lol it wasn't even there yet it was in the mall the other one yeah right and they had this weird like condo that I had to stay in and I remember from after
00:16:45
the show maybe it was like I was 1:00 in the morning I talked to her till like 8:00 in the morning yeah on a landline
00:16:53
on a landline yeah and and tell I love you I miss you you know what I mean be falling asleep and wake up and keep talk
00:16:59
yeah I miss those days me too man never going to get that ever again now these kids just stay on FaceTime where they clean other people's houses now when a
00:17:05
girl calls I sh them like a u telemarketer I I got to go I can't wrong number wrong number I
00:17:14
can't rocket money you guys I have so many subscriptions too many honestly on my phone and my all my iPad all my stuff
00:17:20
right and it's like I don't even I'm losing money as we speak tons of money what does Rocket money do dude rocket
00:17:25
money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills we all want
00:17:32
to lower our bills in the New Year we're all sick of paying for stuff that we don't want to pay for anymore you got to use rocket money they have over 5
00:17:39
million users and they've helped save their members an average of $720 a year with over $500 million in
00:17:45
canceled subscriptions you never got to get on the phone with customer service um look I've used rocket money to cancel a bunch of stuff that I didn't need a
00:17:51
bunch of apps and also I signed up for stuff they have reoccurring charges you guys know what I'm talking about when they say first month is this much and
00:17:57
then you forget how much the next 10 months are and it adds up rocket money finds it and gets you to stop paying
00:18:05
unnecessary bills that's right they'll even get you a refund for the last couple of months wasted money and negotiate to lower your bills for you up
00:18:11
to 20% all you have to do is take a picture of your bill and Rocket money takes care of the rest stop wasting
00:18:17
money on things you don't use guys cancel your own unwanted sub subscriptions by going to Rocket money.com badri that's rocket money.com
00:18:25
bfri rocket money.com badri but Bo I love meat dog you know I love me I love protein and I love high quality U meat and that's the problem right now a lot of times people are getting meat that's
00:18:37
not high quality uh and and they don't know where to turn to go get it they don't want to go to a butcher shop they don't want to grocery store now you can
00:18:43
easily find high quality meat and seafood you can trust it's 100% grass-fed beef right free range organic chicken pork raised crate free and wild
00:18:51
caught Seafood my God humanely raised no antibiotics or hormones none of that stuff injected into your food get rid of
00:18:57
that crap there's nothing better than driving up in your driveway and seeing a butcher box box outside so exciting I
00:19:03
know what I'm making for the night pork chops you mean salmon salmon I love those little critters and pork and
00:19:09
chicken and beef I'm a I'm a beef eater I do love it and 100% grass-fed is the only way to go because there's so much
00:19:15
stuff out there that's nasty and inhumanely raised butcher Box is doing it the right way new members get 2
00:19:21
lounds of ground beef 3 lbs of chicken breasts or 2 lb of salmon for free in every order for a whole year plus $20 off your first order 20 bucks off your
00:19:32
first order as well is insane sign up today at butcherbox.com badri and use that code bad friends to choose your
00:19:38
free offer and get $20 off but you know here's the thing about Young Love though
00:19:45
yeah I've been asking around to people where has it gone young love for me well you're 52 I I know that's what I'm not saying Young Love where's old love no no hold up I'm
00:19:59
just saying the feeling of like you know St Andrew's retirement home is right down the street from me yeah come by sometime I know what I'm saying is the
00:20:06
feeling of like you're in a pink Cloud butterflies you get you you don't get that anymore you don't get it I remember
00:20:13
in my your age it was intense it's different it was like but you're feeling it for the first time yeah but it was just like oh my God this is it this is you know mean this is going to fulfill
00:20:24
every and it doesn't does it dream no because it always I you always get betrayed it lets you down in some way
00:20:30
you're going to get let down but I want to but what I'm saying is I'm trying to find that in my life now but you're
00:20:37
going to get that feeling no I haven't felt that since I was their age you'll get a different version what about Kalo
00:20:42
when you first met I did get a with her for a couple years yeah yeah yeah but anyway um no but but you're going to find it in a different way stop rubbing
00:20:49
your tits what do you mean stop it no I just stop you're there's a warm feeling of no
00:20:56
can I just do this you're going to get me hard if you keep I know but I I I I I I want to feel it in my chest like love
00:21:02
you're going to get the love it's just going to feel different you're not that young anymore you're VI your your your viewpoint on the world is different so
00:21:08
you're not going to feel the same you know what you know what it's like for an addict remember the first time you got high yeah greatest thing in the world
00:21:15
yeah and then the second time and the third time and the fourth time you got high and by the 50th time you got high it didn't feel like the first time you
00:21:20
got high at all it was kind of a let down I think that's what it is so you're looking at it looking for the old high you need to chase the new high not drugs
00:21:28
you need to chase love in the way of like this is just who you are now they should have a business like a Black
00:21:33
Mirror episode m a place where they wipe your memories you Scientology is open 24
00:21:39
hours a day I know but just a place where I can just restart well when you die I think you restart you think so
00:21:46
100% I think when we die we restart into another soul and body and entity I think you've died a thousand times you just
00:21:51
don't know it not as Bobby Lee but as other [ __ ] what you think I was before this a worm Sam amurai a samurai worm a
00:22:01
samurai worm a no what if you were a unicorn oh that's why you love it so much I don't love it that's why you're
00:22:07
mentioning it now I'd have I'd rather have minur I'd rather have Minotaur come you're definitely not Minotaur no you're
00:22:12
Minotaur I'm definitely more minitor than you are yeah but I'm not Centaur you're not a centaur oh [ __ ] why not
00:22:18
you're a unicorn worm how about a siren you're a worm no I'm not a worm you're a
00:22:23
warrior worm is not a mythological creature a worm sure is worms have been around for billions of years in the
00:22:28
folklore of of it is now how about it can I be a worm like in Dune no yeah I would be a gigantic worm no you're an earthworm you're a little tiny baby Earth no no I want to be one of those in the in in the desert Dune Dune I want to
00:22:41
be a Dun worm that's you you're an Asian Asian jumping go dun worm Google dun worm that's an Asian jumping worm dun
00:22:47
worm Dune worm dude no you're not that's me that's my butthole no have you seen my but hole exactly like that right it's
00:22:55
it's got the lines and everything look at that's me dude you're and that's [ __ ] right there those two girls you're an Asian they're going into your butth
00:23:02
hole yeah yeah yeah yeah okay you're an Asian jumping worm okay would then what are you then ask the girls what was I in
00:23:08
my previous life I feel like did Andrew would be like a horse or yeah a sentor yeah yeah right there yeah that's me oh so he gets a good one yeah I get worm no
00:23:19
no no but you've okay okay how about this girls what was he before he was a worm maybe maybe you were you were the one that rode the Andrew that's right I
00:23:27
rode him you rode on back you were like in my horse hairs no it's no dude okay check it out
00:23:34
no it's like those you know on a whale uh right they have the little fish that clean their back that's you that's not
00:23:40
me 100% that's you you're the Barnacles on the whale the bar you're a [ __ ] Barnacle Barnacle under wh back [ __ ]
00:23:49
you dude that looks exactly like you I know but does that even have a brain and feelings do you no okay barle a barnacle
00:23:58
Barnacle Bobby yeah Barnacle Bobby Barnacle Bobby riding on a whales back all right dude enough make you feel
00:24:03
better what was he before he was a worm because you lived another you lived other so many so many lives what was you before he was a worm
00:24:09
girl maybe you were working on 9 of5 yes you I was working a regular guying what he was a blowfish man you working 9 to5 at a
00:24:24
restaurant take order can I speak to the manager I'm sorry but the Blowfish has forgotten so many our drinks came late
00:24:31
yeah why don't have any hands what a shitty server shitty or I was a blowfish you're a blowfish well let's go to you guys then oh yeah what were the girls oh [ __ ] how many
00:24:42
varieties of maggots are there you can't make the call cuz we already made your call yeah yeah oh really so once you make the call I can't make a call make call what kind of
00:24:52
[ __ ] game is this what are you talking about and yeah call I think Rudy oh my God I can I can see it now her previous life butterfly butterfly no
00:25:05
no not not Rudy was dolphin Rudy was um mermaid have you ever been to the Great Wall of China no at the Great Wall of China there was a little patch uh that
00:25:16
that a little crack in the rocks and and flowers go grow through there who who who whoa whoa what Coral
00:25:23
huh flowers there's a group of wild flowers and the Chinese government has just let it continue to grow so now it's
00:25:29
a patch of wild flowers I think you were a wild flower that's at the Great Wall of China C that's good he said where
00:25:35
were you before this I can see it in my head let me let me see it if I oh I see it I see it I see it oh my God I see it
00:25:42
I see it now oh no oh no oh no what what what what what what oh no she was oh my God she was a little ground squirrel a little a little tiny ground squirrel and
00:25:57
she popped up oh at a construction site in her head came right off oh [ __ ] my God it was a tragic death that was oh you
00:26:08
have the ability I can see oh my God let me see Carlos you oh I can see Carlos oh
00:26:14
my God iOS what is it what was it what is it oh oh my God you remember oh my God
00:26:20
you know in in New York in Central Park they had the horses on the carriages yeah yeah yeah yeah you know the bag that catches all the horse poop Carlos
00:26:28
that's Carlos he was a bag of horeshit oh [ __ ] he was the bag that collected all the hor [ __ ] in Central Park yeah
00:26:34
yeah yeah yeah oh my God at the turn of w dude you're gifted wow well let me see if I can do fancy we should have a 18
00:26:39
800 number yeah just call me yeah yeah call me now for your free history reading yeah it's m Mr Cheeto Mr Cheeto
00:26:48
yeah okay hold on let me see if I can do fancy hold on oh yeah yeah oh I know oh
00:26:54
you can can you feel it oh wait wait wait I just gave it to I just gave it to you you feel it yeah
00:26:59
yeah yeah oh yeah what is it he's the um oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I
00:27:05
know what he's a he lice oh I see oh yeah yeah but but but not on top of human head no no Noy no no not [ __ ] not
00:27:13
for a [ __ ] not for a [ __ ] either not a [ __ ] not a [ __ ] no no no no no no it's
00:27:19
a it's a turd it's a turd it's a turd it's a tur it's a turd creature it's it's it's Eric
00:27:26
Griffin dude I like that I like that Rudy said you're [ __ ] [ __ ] Li yeah [ __ ] women don't get lice do they get lice you guys
00:27:38
know about [ __ ] lice is that a real thing yeah crabs yeah don't no crabs and lice
00:27:45
are two different different lice is super common tiny insects that look like tiny versions of the crabs you see at
00:27:50
the beach they live on the skin and coarse hairs people get pubic lice W no way have you guys ever known anybody that's got that no no but we used to have so much sice on our hair when you
00:28:01
were kids really a lot really picking it out yeah guess what guess what Andrew and I never had it
00:28:08
never had it you know why shower it's probably cuz you were elice in your old life yeah yeah and then you died from
00:28:15
getting picked and you were born as Bobby Lee oh wow picked on picked I get it what wait how do you get lice out of
00:28:22
your hair I don't know I don't know roll around the the dirt that was how you got
00:28:27
get more lice yeah combing wet hair with a fine tooth knit comb remove lice and some knits
00:28:33
there's something called knits yeah we used to have a lot and like eggs and like everything the egg yeah the EG you
00:28:41
crawling and I bet your money I bet your money you eat those too no yeah right before it's about to hatch right you eat
00:28:47
it like B like little tiny ballute balls we don't eat yeah little ball ball you want some ballute with sprinkle of lice
00:28:53
yeah yeah right so basically so you get the little eggs too up there mhm M yeah so lice comes from eggs they lay them
00:29:01
they're just reincarnating on your head oh that's interesting they so itchy yeah yeah I bet a lot did they come from oh
00:29:07
imagine that that's awful oh it's awful you never had lies no no we never have Lies We don't ever get stuff like that if you live in like a swampy area you can get like uh if you go swimming and
00:29:20
you can get leeches ticks ticks and leeches from the for from the woods yeah you can get and ticks give you lime dis
00:29:27
disas you know what that is yeah you guys have that over there no lime disease but they have you have leeches in the water don't you have leeches show
00:29:34
them a leech you don't have leeches at all I've never seen one I've never seen one oh they suck on your skin like that
00:29:39
they suck your blood they're little vampires maybe Bobby was like that oh my god oh really now I'm that too you
00:29:46
weren't a vampire you were a leach oh really interesting she's saying before before this was another life another have I ever had a good life you 95 blow
00:29:58
I was a 95 Blowfish as a waiter and then you were a leech where where was he a leech was he working the Philippines oh you Lee in the Philipp oh the
00:30:04
Philippines he wasn't working he was it was wait wait wait I was a lazy vampire leech no you were a homeless leech all right so I didn't even want to work no no you were just you guys go ahead you
00:30:16
guys go and suck the blood I'm just going to sit here on the corner and beg for [ __ ] you couldn't get any blood you would beg for blood you'd sit all
00:30:22
the guys would go suck all day they'd come home and you you got any blood no one would give you speaking of blood I
00:30:28
was watching of Earth planet Earth yeah right and there was an episode where they have this little this island where these Birch Birds right Birch bird a birch Bird yeah and this tiny Island
00:30:40
there's not a lot of food and stuff right so how do they eat they have these gigantic seagulls that fly over there
00:30:46
right because they can't make it to the mainland these little birds and what they do is they jump on top of their backs they poke them their back mhm and
00:30:55
they start drinking their blood w that's kind of smart that is very smart yeah and the [ __ ] those gigantic Birds
00:31:02
they don't even know what's going on walking around like you know they don't know wow they suck the blood out of their backs to stay alive yeah vampire
00:31:09
Birch Birds maybe they're like zombies they are like look at their eyes are blood red oh so they drink blood see
00:31:17
right there zoom in that photo that's cool and the Big Bird doesn't care no he look at him he's like oh he just digs in they dig end is unbelievable they're
00:31:28
just taking advantage of this other Bird's blood but they don't ever eat anything but blood I think there's certain times of the year where they can't get anything so they they they go
00:31:35
oh we'll go blood they just got to eat blood is that unbelievable though look at that do you even get full with blood
00:31:41
well I don't want you to try to find out yeah depends on how much blood you drink I'm sure you can you can get full off of blood yeah yeah you never had blood no
00:31:48
oh someone's not in Hollywood you never been to a restaurant had baby blood you never had baby blood
00:31:54
you never been to a restaurant where they offer you blood yeah no it's you know what's so you know what's so gross though is that bird uhuh that
00:32:02
little Blood Bird yeah I bet you in a species format would outlive it has outlived humans and will outlive humans forever and they're sucking blood yeah Meanwhile we're eating wendes and
00:32:14
[ __ ] Taco Bell but you know what maybe we should be sucking blood to live longer here's a concern though what if the seagull's gay and he's
00:32:21
unprotected yeah he's dangerous blood flies back that's right infects the whole [ __ ] up now you bunch
00:32:27
bir Birds you know I saw this morning I was watching The History Channel I love this stuff I love the History Channel I love nature and history me too do you like Ancient
00:32:40
Aliens I love anything that's ancient I me too nothing current no modern [ __ ] yeah
00:32:47
you like ancient like ancient old stuff what's is there old [ __ ] like when you in the Philippines is there like old
00:32:53
ruins that you can go go visit and stuff they're not ruins but they are old there's old [ __ ] mhm like old native
00:32:59
there's like there's no like Mayan Temple well the Mayans wouldn't be there I mean just some Temple that you guys I
00:33:04
don't think temples no you guys never did buildings back in the day they are they still don't have buildings now I
00:33:09
know let me go back to the five ruins go back to the five the ruin that the magical five ruins of the Philippines you just were at yeah ruins of famous
00:33:16
ruins in the Philippines here we go here we go Fortune Island oh the sunken cemetery is cool though yeah what's
00:33:22
going on there oh yeah there's just that that's a dope that's cool yeah wait there's a cemetery that's that got overtaken by water over the years that sound like the Spaniards did this this
00:33:32
is from the Spaniards that's disgusting I think this was because of a volcano yeah the Spaniards we call them
00:33:40
volcano so Mount or that could be Aqua Aquaman's family right there all dead yeah sunken you guys cut that out that's not even funny I just throw things out and I go
00:33:53
why did I just say that sorry you guys have never been here I've been there you swam down there no we can't swim cuz
00:33:59
they say it's haunted so shut up it's haunted there's so many graves there I know oh really there the spirits have you ever seen a ghost in the Water Swimming doing a
00:34:12
backstroke you probably can't swim so when there's someone swimming on top they're going to try to reach on to you to get back up in the air yeah oh so
00:34:20
we're booies yeah to [ __ ] ghosts they drink the blood too but what happens if a ghost catches you what happens in the
00:34:27
water it's not going to kill you it's gonna drown you yeah oh just like in Lord of the
00:34:33
Rings do you remember no what what are you talking you remember what are you talking about Lord of the Rings yeah but when does he cut when is someone underwat I think in the third movie there's this swamp area and
00:34:48
Gollum tells Frodo not to look about the Starry Eyes Shut the [ __ ] up do you remember I'm not a nerd dude that I've seen the movie before do you guys know not know this right and so then froto [ __ ] up and he stares at a looks into
00:35:01
the water looks into the water and there's a kind of a dead glowy eye in there but doesn't try to get him no but then he goes into a trance oh right then
00:35:08
he falls into the [ __ ] swamp so they and then all the [ __ ] ghosts in the water are C try to grab him and guess
00:35:14
what the fat [ __ ] Sam right Dives in and gets him he gets him always a fatty to save the day no it was Gollum actually
00:35:20
it was a fat [ __ ] oh thank God was Samm and the other guy gay yeah okay what what no yeah yeah they were no they wer
00:35:28
gay dude it came out years later they were gay they were mhm I didn't the internet it broke the
00:35:34
internet look it up yeah yeah with Sam from Lord of the Rings gay is it because they cried a lot on each other's arms
00:35:41
yeah that's what I thought yeah yeah yeah well you know sometimes that happens when you're about to die too the fantasy science fiction author Maran
00:35:48
Zimmer Bradley wrote that froto and Sam had the most intense love described in the book told you yeah but it's not it's
00:35:53
the kind of love me and Andrew have no no no no no yeah yeah yeah shut the [ __ ] up hold up back up first of all the love
00:35:58
that you and I have pictures of my [ __ ] are on your hallway same thing as salmon froto that's what I'm saying it's the love we
00:36:04
have yeah gay it's that gay that's I some most guys would arue check it out dude we go down to Alabama and talk about our love no this is gay dude our love is so that little Chinese and Irish
00:36:16
man are [ __ ] gay dude y'all seen them CH that Chinese dude that love [ __ ] redhead and Chinese
00:36:22
dude them dudes is gay dude they flirt all the time he kissed his nut sack one time I live stream I did I did but
00:36:29
that's not okay okay what you know I'm can let me just explain myself real quick and I want to be real not even in
00:36:35
a comedy way all right and I really believe this okay okay I believe that you and our our love is so intense right that's on the edge of gay but it hasn't
00:36:46
crossed the line it's so close to gay it's a Million Miles Away exactly so what basically what I'm saying is is
00:36:52
that if you and I went on a journey much like froto and Sam you're saying like a date no well yeah a date Journey however
00:37:00
you want to say it right and we're having meals out in the forest some call it picnics okay you mean I just call it
00:37:08
second breakfast second breakfast yeah right B2 yeah and you and I you know what I mean at nights because it's cold
00:37:13
at night it is right cuz we're trying to get the Mordor it's far away yeah what do we do get naked and hug each other
00:37:19
but [ __ ] no we don't we don't butt [ __ ] we don't butt [ __ ] dude we just get naked we get naked and hold our body
00:37:27
body warmth and we're so comfortable with each other right right but [ __ ] no we don't but [ __ ] we don't we sleep of
00:37:33
all little spon's the little spoon come on yeah and also can I just say I'm a [ __ ] Ladle he's a he's a little like a little baby spoon also the ring is so dangerous that we we had wrap it around
00:37:44
Andrew's dick right and my butthole is the safe it has it has to turn and lock yeah but that's not gay we're protecting the ring that's why no one can pull me out
00:37:56
once I'm in and locked out and we sleep right golems in the tree watching us going look at these [ __ ] gay [ __ ]
00:38:04
right right but we do that right and then in the morning when we go travel we unlock and this and I I I do a little
00:38:11
sigh like a you know I mean and then we go on our Voyage again right every night we do the
00:38:17
[ __ ] routine lock the we lock we locked the ring into the safe right but that's not gay dude that's just keeping the ring safe I really commend you guys for keep yeah
00:38:29
but then when we get to the [ __ ] when we get to the [ __ ] Mordor When we arrive we're trying to throw it inh
00:38:35
right we both die yeah we both because we forgot to unlock we just jump in together yeah this is how we want to go yeah yeah yeah it's 2024 now so let's talk about
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all right how do you put on a wall okay well well there's a little uh a little sticker back here a little plate back
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it's not just use code bad friends display collect your passions are you sad that you're going to go home tomorrow yeah I'm pretty sad when going
00:42:26
to come back to the states do you even know no no it's undetermined MH wow yeah last time you were here it was a year or
00:42:32
two ago a year a year God that's wild so do you usually come every year though or no um yeah lately once a year Well you
00:42:40
came for her birthday I remember that yeah once a year is a good are you going to end up moving here you said you wanted to last time I want to I I think
00:42:47
she should come for college well you still got to get through high school first you never know if she might not
00:42:53
graduate but can we do the same program I got good grade yeah can we do the same same thing we did for you same program
00:43:00
well you came in high school right mhm and we you left lived at my house you came your senior year right junior
00:43:06
junior junior and we walked you through high school why can't we do the same for her I don't know you she can you want to
00:43:13
do that I guess but she she's going yeah she doesn't want to so why don't you finish High School dump your boyfriend and then you can move to the States but also we got white boyfriends here what
00:43:25
oh yeah you're your boyfriend's Brown oh man we got some we got UPG we got some some good
00:43:31
well he's not brown actually he's not brown he's The Wider side of the philippin I know but wait till you get
00:43:38
here wait till you see how white some of these guys are it's unbelievable unbelievable the skin is so dry top
00:43:44
whites top whites yeah yeah and we also what would we have blacks too we have everything really we
00:43:51
have everything here everything you ever we have a more variety so why not let me ask you something in the the Philippines
00:43:57
if you go to 31 Flavors you know what that is they don't have that Baskin Robins an ice cre oh Bas an ice cream
00:44:02
place right is there only one flavor there no no we have all the flavors poop yeah poop yeah yeah yeah welcome poop yeah we have we have all the flavors all the flavors we have every
00:44:13
single one you've ever dreamed of and more she likes her boyfriend don't dump your boyfriend have fun and then come
00:44:19
but move out here why why don't we do that yeah yeah nah we had enough with her what are you you mean well here's the deal one comes in one's got to go so you got to go back that's the deal
00:44:31
that's the fancy came in because someone left that's the only reason work George no no no I mean from the Spain he had
00:44:37
you when you come here from Spain you have to send a Spaniard back to Spain that's the only way it works it's it's reciprocation you have to it is we're
00:44:44
full don't you listen to Donald Trump we have too many yeah we're [ __ ] full poisoning the blood yeah that's true you're poisoning the blood of pure Americans poisoning I'm not doing
00:44:56
anything yeah right your boyfriend right is an American is he not yeah and if you
00:45:02
guys had a baby what happens Green Card poison the blood but the blood's poisoned no yeah yeah no no it's UPG I'm
00:45:10
not going to have kids I'm going to abort it okay all right all right all right okay she really is American yeah you are American Jesus Christ Jesus
00:45:21
Christ what does that say schools in the Philippines have a stricter management they have they have stricter management
00:45:27
than the United States they have a higher standard of Education than do they really well that I'm not surprised look at this [ __ ] country we're
00:45:32
upside down higher standard of Education in the Philippines students are taught well teachers are considered second parents to the students wow are your
00:45:38
teachers like your parents mhm yeah it's like best friends like you like you hug them goodbye and stuff that's insane I
00:45:43
[ __ ] my teacher opposite yeah hated hated them hated they hated me I [ __ ] hated them hated them man we were bad
00:45:50
kids oh yeah but really bad what happens with bad kids in the Philippines I don't know there's not even a detention yeah there's all detention there's no detention there's no suspension you just go talk to the the
00:46:03
principal or something yeah but that's what does he say yeah stop being so bad yeah yeah stop yeah be better cuz I
00:46:10
remember on the third grade someone stabbed someone with a pencil right what is it prison no it's their Sandy
00:46:22
Hook there was a mess steing today with a number two yeah and you know how hard those are to
00:46:28
acquire so he stabbed him with the number two did he die nothing yeah I don't know what happened but he was
00:46:34
still there he was still going to school nothing happened that's a that is a and that's a talked about thing wait wait a
00:46:40
so a student stabbed a teacher with a pencil no not a teach a student stab another student right what if that kid
00:46:46
still had the pencil his neck can't take it out can't take it out he draws with it very good what does that say though you go back it's said there's never ever been a school shooting in the
00:46:58
Philippines yeah the school shooting stats are [ __ ] why can't we do this they don't have guns that's right
00:47:03
there's no guns in the Philippines the cops have guns of it's illegal to it's access no but wait a minute the cops do
00:47:10
have guns though yeah yeah the cops there's got to be some bad cops doing bad [ __ ] though cops see the cops are up to no good yeah there was one shooting
00:47:17
at aeno de Manila oh a ten de Manila it's at a university yeah it's that is that high school there no College wow shooting at a college at the
00:47:30
is a good school think about this though English is you know a second language to
00:47:35
them right of course but look how great she speaks yeah we don't realize that that's you know her language is her
00:47:41
native tongue and she can she can do they're smarter than us I think that's what they pay more attention to [ __ ]
00:47:47
yeah I wouldn't be able to tell the difference I don't think would you if she said she was born here they sound
00:47:52
identical yeah okay and she's been here for much longer longer but you got yeah but I think she has more of like a
00:47:59
American or something she has better English than me cuz I feel like I still have the accent well she's smarter than
00:48:05
you that's true yeah that's a big piece of it hey can you guys like talk like a valley girl oh yeah let's hear you talk like yeah see she could do it that
00:48:13
sounds exactly exactly from that for the next couple minutes just talk that way say say say um say today I want what do
00:48:20
kids do the mall order order a coffee oh yeah I'm so good at this coffee I did it
00:48:26
on purpose in the Philippines all let me be this let me be the guy all hello hi no let me okay sorry
00:48:33
sorry where are you at the Philippines she's here we're here I I let's do it like that cuz that's how I do it in the Philippines I always purposely do it that's not the
00:48:45
accent welc what's it what's the local coffee shop called there yeah we don't have one there's no local just Starbucks
00:48:52
only Starbucks or coffee bean welcome to Coffee Bean box you can do bows bow welcome to Bow can I take your order please hi can I get a um can I get a grande Macha latte please oh my God God
00:49:07
that's so [ __ ] that sounds exactly like a valley yeah yeah all right Rudy you try now it's Rudy's turn Okay
00:49:12
welcome to Coffee she's sitting up hi can I get an iced vanilla latte you sound like you that's you you [ __ ] you need the Val yeah yeah yeah yeah you can
00:49:23
go far crazier yeah yeah there we go get your body into it yeah wait wait wait wait Queen yes Queen yeah can I get an ice vanilla latte oh
00:49:36
that's pretty good that's pretty good yeah one with autism but still yeah that's great this is so that one's so good so good that really sounds like if you close your eyes yeah uh say
00:49:49
um oh my God I lost my valet ticket oh my God I lost my valet ticket that's oh my god dude we got to get her an agent When I close my eyes I I literally see like a white chick I do too yeah that's
00:50:02
what some of my friends say cuz I do it with my friend a lot and then it's become like my accent kind of so wait
00:50:09
who taught you to where did you hear to do it were you just from online the internet but then I would
00:50:14
meet new friends on the internet and they would think I would be a white girl wow wow what a superpower you could
00:50:21
catfish I can yeah wow she be Queen wow you should catfish has a white I have catfished really I got money from it wait tell us wait wait wait wait stop yes the fake oh I have to tell you guys
00:50:34
something okay I have okay so you know how you stalk people on Instagram right no we don't don't heard people I st people you mean you're saying look at
00:50:46
someone's in like an ex-boyfriend or something like that yeah yeah but you make another account it's like a Fina
00:50:52
you know what's a Fina a fake one yeah a fake account I know what it is you st it uhhuh I have a fake account cuz I saw a
00:51:00
real and it was like it was something about like having a Fina right and so I was like I'm going to make an Indian man
00:51:07
Fina so I have I'm I have an account where I just act like an Indian man and then I talked to my mom on it and oh yeah I tried scamming her for an iPhone
00:51:18
15 and she replied to me no she did wait a minute did your your you tried to pretend that you were a guy interested in dating your mom no I tried to scam
00:51:29
her cuz I can't I can't say the username cuz everyone's going to know yeah don't say it don't say it wait how did you get
00:51:36
money who gave you money oh no no I didn't get money from that I got money from Discord what did you do on Discord
00:51:42
to get money I would I would pretend to be like a really cute Japanese girl and they would give me like Nitro and like one time I got Minecraft but then when I stopped talking to them he took it away
00:51:53
I was so mad how much money did can can you get on Discord um I didn't get money money I got
00:51:59
things that could buy from that you could buy with money wow it's crypto basically crypto yeah yeah yeah that's amazing now what you dude you need to be a a full-time scam artist we need yeah
00:52:11
yeah why not but could do you do an Indian accent or no no I can't okay yeah but you should really think about being
00:52:17
a full-time scam no one's a criminal anymore like that a professional criminal that's not out to like hurt people physically yeah but a
00:52:23
professional scammer that great that dude dream big Dre big dream [ __ ] big think about it there's some old guy
00:52:30
right now there's some really old guy right whose wife died years ago he's got six or seven million doar he doesn't
00:52:36
know what to do you could steal from that guy yeah yeah he could be dead soon you could steal from that guy I'd support
00:52:43
that cuz the money is going to you guys anyways it's going to my family that's right that's right so you should support
00:52:50
it right that's very good all right ins get in here I get get in here now yeah yeah that's amazing you know what's so
00:52:57
funny though I don't know um uh Carnegie you guys don't you know who Carnegie is
00:53:02
no Carnegie was one of America's richest men right and Carnegie believed that if you die rich you're a soulless man so he
00:53:11
gave away look at up look up how much money Carnegie gave away at the end of his life this guy gave away most of his fortune at the
00:53:19
end and he believed to influence other rich people to to be philanthropic it was kind of the turn of the century he he was like should give away he
00:53:26
distributed 350 million and had 30 million left which went to corporation's endowment fund towards other things he
00:53:31
pacifist had a single goal achieving World Peace So Carnegie believed if you die with money you're kind of a sucker
00:53:37
so he tried hard to give away all of his money imagine being Carnegie's son yeah [ __ ] dad I got [ __ ]
00:53:43
$10 a bus ticket yeah yeah yeah I'd be so pissed well this influenced this influenced um many other rich rich
00:53:52
families richer than him to do the same thing which was kind of interesting I watched the whole thing about this it
00:53:57
was [ __ ] insane but he was but because the the amount of wealth acquired by him uh was equal I think
00:54:04
they had said at the time was equal to like $62 billion that he ended up like lording over and then realized it was worthless he couldn't do anything with it wow he had too much money more money than anybody we ever have seen today
00:54:16
because what's our richest guy on Earth today has like upwards of 12 20 billion something like that Elon Musk Elon Musk
00:54:23
is not in the 200 oh my holy [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] that's a lot I didn't know it was in the hundreds of billions that's a
00:54:29
lot he is the only person who also lost 200 billion and got it back he's also Bobby's age what wow oh oh you're saying I'm a failure no he's just saying
00:54:40
failure that's a pretty big gap of achievement I know I know I know but think about this is my point what the
00:54:45
[ __ ] is he going to do with $229 billion give it to us he should he should you
00:54:51
listening here Elon can you imagine I watched your podcast genas Khan all these guys sick trillionaires who lived
00:54:57
on Earth and reached the Pinnacle genas Khan Akbar the Great wow you do that though just give out all your money when like you're dying already you should if you're dying what the [ __ ] are you going
00:55:08
to do with it you should give it all away when you're dying yeah if you're dying you should spend a lot have fun how do you know when you're going to die
00:55:15
I think if you reach an age when you're like yeah hey man it's probably soon still you still don't you're you're like
00:55:20
in hospice right and you're getting all the treatment you're you know the rich man treatment mhm right when do you do
00:55:28
it the day the day before well I don't think it's like an immediate death no I just want to know man on your deathbed you push the button right you go okay all you can draft up a [ __ ] living
00:55:39
will and then in your living will says oh I see that's what I would do yeah on my final but right now I cuz when I'm
00:55:46
alive on Earth I still want all of it well you don't want all of it no to the end and then when I'm dead then go bad
00:55:52
boy no not not bad boy cuz you're going to still you're just like G con that's right I am [ __ ] it you should give it
00:55:59
away I will when I die once I'm no longer conscious and here yeah then I'm going to I'll have it all worked out with my lawyers who would be the most unlikely person that you would give money to when you die my mom oh my God
00:56:11
there's so many you're going to give people money that you know like don't deserve it or you don't like anymore just be just to like show them up or
00:56:16
something well you know what that's cool I you know what I would do I would give people money and just go listen dude I
00:56:22
you're a [ __ ] jackass while I would here and a complete other [ __ ] [ __ ] and I [ __ ] every time I hear
00:56:29
your name or saw you I wanted to vomit all right but dude here's a million dollars that's like the best revenge is that cool yeah that would be a cool way to say [ __ ] you [ __ ] off have you ever
00:56:42
heard the Adam Sandler story um about Adam Sandler was at NYU and college and drama school I might be misquoting but and I guess one of the professors took him out for a beer and the professor was
00:56:54
like you don't have it you just don't I'm sorry but you just like don't have it like I like I you're such a great guy
00:57:00
but like you got to find another thing dude like this is not going to work out comedy no no yeah well acting and comedy
00:57:06
and everything oh wow wow wow and then you know Adam was obviously like well [ __ ] that I'm not going to stop and the
00:57:11
guy was like I'm just telling you I just don't think this is your going to be your lifelong career wow right and then at the height of Adam's career wow when
00:57:18
he's like Tip Top I guess he's in a bar with a bunch of friends yeah and sees this this professor as there wow right and an opportunity to go up to him and
00:57:29
what endless of possibilities what would you do well hold on let me finish it does but this how this is this is what
00:57:34
kind of guy Sandler is I love it I love it he walks up to the professor with his friends and says hello to him his
00:57:40
professors says hi and he turns to his friends and he says you know what this was the only Professor that bought me a
00:57:46
beer oh and then introduced him to his friends and that was that I know class talk about a grade a classy guy Sandler CL what a [ __ ] cool [ __ ] dude he could have done so many smart assy
00:57:59
things not rude but like he could have been like I guess it worked out you know mean professor remember that's the thing
00:58:06
Prof remember Adam Sandler no does he remember saying that to Al if you took a guy out for a beer for sure you remember
00:58:14
this wasn't in class if he was like Bobby uh next next time the scene is got to be no no no he took him out just him
00:58:21
and him for a beer one-on-one to tell him he doesn't think this should he should continue he remembers I I I when
00:58:27
and after Adam SEL said that I would love the professor to double down and be like still not working out or it's like
00:58:33
once that Netflix deal is done you're [ __ ] you're tough or you you won the lottery you know that oh oh oh you that
00:58:40
right like you still have you're garbage you still don't have any Talent yeah right you would double down no no I
00:58:45
don't know what would you say to the professor I there's got to be people in your life that the beginning your comedy career were like you're not you're not
00:58:51
going to make it in comedy or they said something around I I had one incident like that what well I just bloop his
00:58:58
name out an agent his name is MHM from I know who he is you do yeah so uh Abby sent me a um a meeting with him and we're and we're sitting there I'm in his office and he looks at me at across from
00:59:14
the desk and he goes yeah I just you're not going to work and I go not going to get work is what yeah I go what do you mean he's like you're funny but it's like you're just never going to work and I go
00:59:28
oh and he goes I just don't see it wow and I go okay and I remember tears rolling up in my eyes no and I then we took the elevator down together no me and Abby oh was say how weird and my
00:59:41
manager was like um it's okay see we'll find somebody else right and I'm like I just don't like it's pointless why you
00:59:47
know mhm and then years later I was on mad and David Salman the owner of mad goes um hey Bobby come into my office like Windows off and he goes um I need a
00:59:59
Hispanic guy as an actor on the show we've just we had Nelson and Scio but it's been years ago so I go Johnny Sanchez yeah he's my friend yeah so he
01:00:10
goes who is that and I kind of educated him and I called Johnny and I helped Johnny through the auditioning process
01:00:18
he got the show but his agent wow right so now we're at the first live right and I'm at video Village and it's Johnny he played Joker one of his characters and it was front
01:00:31
of an live studio audience and I'm sitting at V video Village and because I'm so nervous for Johnny to because I
01:00:36
want him to hit a home run MH and I I feel a presence right here and it's it it's a smell yeah not a presence it's a smell yeah right and I look and I go you I
01:00:49
like I see my Peri and I go back to the monitor I go like I do one of those mhm and I turn around he locks eyes and he's smiling and I go hey man and I hugged
01:01:01
him wow hey congratulations on Johnny I'm so happy for him that is a class he's like thanks for but then I regret that why every single day no I should have done something different probably
01:01:12
that's a classy move yeah yeah class I think at the end of the day you fantasize about all these things but your your true self comes out yeah in
01:01:19
those situations and you go who gives a [ __ ] cuz your heart is really good yeah who gives a [ __ ] but I've had have you
01:01:25
had a moment like that oh dude when I was a PA when I first moved out here there was a
01:01:30
person who was a super powerful executive and uh I wasn't a big fan he just was pretty diminutive the way he spoke I was young anyway but he they treated us like [ __ ] back in the day
01:01:44
Hollywood they if you were a PA dude they might as well pissed on you in the mornings like they [ __ ] you were dog
01:01:50
[ __ ] and when I finally went to quit because I was quitting to go try to do comedy really like full-time and uh I had to say it to one of these people and somebody else and uh
01:02:01
I'm being very vague on purpose but but the guy but I said when after I put in my two weeks or whatever the [ __ ] he walked down the hallway because we were going on the same way and he turned to me he's like you really think this com
01:02:13
you're going to do this comedy thing huh oh God and I said I mean I really believe like I really want to give it a chot and he was like hm you know most
01:02:20
people don't make it and I was like no no no I understand that and L but like I have to try and he goes yeah and he kind
01:02:27
of like stood there for a second and he looked me in the face and he goes good luck but it wasn't good luck as in good
01:02:34
luck there's a way to say good luck this when I learned the phrasing the intonation of a word matters he
01:02:39
literally went good luck like you're [ __ ] it sounded like you're [ __ ] instead of hey man good luck different
01:02:46
right no this was good luck good luck like [ __ ] off good yeah and it hurt me a
01:02:52
little bit cuz I was bummed and I was like God these [ __ ] they they think I'm dog [ __ ] and I was out every night
01:02:58
doing shows two shows a night just add something real quick real quick yeah those little things too because we're so
01:03:04
Comics are extra sensitive of course that we we we we replay those things in our head oh I see his [ __ ] face yeah
01:03:11
they they just last a long time forever they're forever eded in your I don't know my mom's middle name but I remember
01:03:18
that guy's [ __ ] face saying that I I know and then years later okay uh I was at an event and I had gotten on uh I'm dying
01:03:29
up here like I just booked the show and it was like in the headlines of like Jim Carrey produces you know handpicks Jim
01:03:35
handpicked us yeah you know and I was at an event and he was there working for a company and I'm blah blah blah blah blah
01:03:42
and uh he he's there next to me and other people he's in this group setting and I see him kind of looking over at me waiting to say something and I and I'm like and I wonder what this [ __ ]
01:03:55
love talking and talking and talking and he turns to me and he goes Andrew congratulations uh on the show and I said I'm I'm
01:04:10
sorry wait wait wait no there's no way I said I'm no there's no way you did that
01:04:16
I'm sorry I'm sorry what I'm sorry what say your say your name again oh and I go
01:04:22
I'm just kidding I'm just [ __ ] around oh oh very good it was a nice it was just to [ __ ] around no but you still had
01:04:27
that little yeah it was a joke you had a dager dagger and then he and then he kind of chuckled at it shook my hand he
01:04:32
said very proud of you like happy before I said thanks a lot man yeah thank you so much and then I kind of broke off and went to get a drink but it felt so good
01:04:40
cuz I wasn't mean I was just joking it was clear I was kidding but I went to get a drink and man I got [ __ ] wasted
01:04:47
excited just drinking at a party it's like look at me [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah it felt it just felt like do you think he
01:04:53
remembers probably not yeah probably not because I don't think that's my guy remembered no they probably don't yeah
01:04:59
they don't remember hurting your feelings no I have another story give another one but it's not about that it's more about like it's kind of that how if
01:05:08
you're nice something happens yeah so I was working the back door I've never shared this story before good and I
01:05:15
because it's one of those stories where it's like I just feel it's too magical almost too perfect
01:05:22
it's a magical story give it you want to hear magic how about you [ __ ] like magic you guys like magical stories love
01:05:29
magic so I I I don't want to name any names but I was working the back door of the comedy store and at that time I had
01:05:36
no bank account I had no money at all I had maybe 15 bucks in my pocket and I remember Jason gler you
01:05:44
know Jason right he going he's like you know I'm you know what I like about you B you're nice to people even though
01:05:50
you're completely struggling and things are bad I I know calling it out yeah so one night I was working there and I see this lady in the parking lot and this is when
01:06:03
The Comedy Store nobody wanted to go there was shootings right and it was just got a bad vibe to it yeah and I see this lady
01:06:10
she was wearing like a power suit she looked like a businesswoman mhm she didn't look like she belonged right so I
01:06:16
walked up to her and I go excuse me ma'am um can I help you and she goes I just [ __ ] hate this club I don't know how to get in here you know mean I'm seeing somebody you know I mean I'm an agent right and I and
01:06:28
I go okay um come here follow me I go to the back door and I go just come into the I'll get you mit's seat and I go do
01:06:37
you want to wine and she goes I would love some wine I go what would you like I I bought it cuz they didn't get it
01:06:44
give it to me for free you paid for it I paid for her wine wow right gave her a wine she saw whoever she needed to see
01:06:51
and when she was leaving she goes what's your name name and I go Bobby Lee she go
01:06:57
you do comedy huh I go yeah I mean I'm I'm do okay I'm about to do premium blend or something I don't know you know what I mean that was a big deal yeah yeah and she goes okay and then a coule she leaves the
01:07:10
agency that she's at and now she's at Fox right and I'm auditioning for mad right and so at the end the final audition for the test it was between me
01:07:22
and Taran kilum and I'm sitting and they I and all everyone's telling me you're not going
01:07:29
to get it taran's getting it right because they want a white guy and they only have one spot but they're you're
01:07:35
just the option right [ __ ] so I'm sitting they're like I don't think I'm going to get it
01:07:42
oh and I walk into the room and as I walk into the room cuz Taran had just left I see the sea of Executives cuz at
01:07:50
that time when you tested you had to test in front of live the [ __ ] worse you have to audition for the executives and
01:07:56
the president and they're just sitting in a room staring at and I already know I'm not going to get it so they're just like right but as I walk in that lady
01:08:05
walks in with me the fox lady the lady that I helped in the parking lot mhm and then they go some of the anxi goes hey what are you doing here she's not even supposed to be there she goes oh I'm
01:08:17
here to see his audition wow and they go oh and as soon as I left the room I got a call I got it wow you can't say her name but how Wild
01:08:31
yeah powerful do you still keep in touch with her don't no no no I don't I don't know what I think she got out of the business or whatever but my point is is that she's at home
01:08:42
right now watching this being like I'm still in the business yeah yeah but I just remember that that's powerful yeah yeah yeah just
01:08:49
be nice you guys got any cool uh Biz stories no no Biz stories no are you not not no Biz stories no Rudy because of the success of you on the show have you ever gotten
01:09:00
offered anything on the online like has anybody said they want you for something no nothing I'm shocked I'm shocked too I
01:09:06
would assume somebody would reach out and be like hey I want you to be a part of this thing yeah yeah no well listen here uh directors writers and producers
01:09:11
we'd love you to cast Rudy in something Ora or even Isa now well issa's issa's gonna be fine oh yeah we're worried about this one also if Issa you come back and you live here maybe you could
01:09:22
be part of the family she is a part of the family I mean but do this you know what I mean regularly yeah
01:09:29
no yeah maybe not maybe no yes of course of course of course I want to talk about
01:09:34
Joe koi okay I do but can I put on some chapstick yeah yeah will you do um sexy music while I do this okay go ahead I love joeoy what the [ __ ] I said
01:09:46
put on some do some sexy music while I do this oh oh you want me to aquapella yeah cuz he's going to zoom in on my face right now doing go
01:09:52
ahead all right Jo Koy all right Jo Koy I'm not done um all right so what do you want to say about jooy what I want to say is is that um I thought he did a good job at
01:10:16
the golden glub tell you why Joseph Joseph Joseph he had you guys know Joe Koy don't you he did had 10 days to do
01:10:23
this thing right it was a risk he did the best he could I thought that um they didn't do any him any favors in editing life okay no but what I'm saying is
01:10:35
editing like cutting into the audience and seeing some reactions that that's what I meant oh right right right
01:10:40
understand that's what I meant okay all right they didn't do any favors for him and it's cut into the person he's
01:10:48
mentioning go ahead finish with no I I I don't want to go no finish your I don't want to continue please please I want to
01:10:54
hear you V you're really you're really on my last nerve um and I want no I honestly want to believe I what I'm saying is is
01:11:03
that dude you're so [ __ ] rude rude you're so [ __ ] rude and so funny so funny okay go ahead yeah I what I want
01:11:10
to say is that you know I um because I've known Joe since the may I I didn't say what the [ __ ] I didn't say anything I think you made a noise I took a breath don't I hear you breathing into the mic
01:11:22
all the time okay sorry sorry you've known Joe for a long time yeah and what I'm saying is is that he's a hardw worker he's an extraordinary
01:11:32
performer and it was like a difficult circumstance he was in 10 days to take this gig onh what I'm saying is is that you know I love him he's such a talented
01:11:43
guy he's but here's the thing that people don't get he's a super kind guy too and so I just thought you know by I
01:11:51
rewatched it and I was just like you know what dude he I think he did a great job you washed it again I did did Barbie
01:11:57
win this time anyway Oppenheimer didn't we my my um he got a lot of flack online my heart goes out to him I love him so much and he will be he'll be back and he's never
01:12:09
going to go away and he's going to kill it and well nothing changed for him he's a standup yeah that's true anyway leten you want a game yeah okay we'll do Ry
01:12:17
news yeah we want to see how how good you would be in the business if you uh if you were in the business okay okay
01:12:24
all right so so the Rhythm would be right so try it hi I'm Rudy Jes and welcome to Rudy
01:12:36
News perfect very good first tonight a manila man named Hernando Guan Lao turns his house into a library and local patrons are forever grateful public libraries are rare in my
01:12:50
country for students Clare m ooy and Jane rain ven M Nani liy is a significant Aid in their [Music]
01:13:06
studies and said thank you Hernando that's it with Rudy new again that's it with Rudy News I'm Rudy jwes good night can
01:13:21
I it's not you you great you did great who did the writing it's just not funny was it
01:13:29
supposed to be funny it's a new they're real news stories yeah but I thought at one point it was going to get crazy in it yeah and
01:13:36
funny and funny yeah we need a writer yeah but you are he is a comedy writer yeah it's just
01:13:42
the news I know but I I know I what we assumed you were going to do was take the news and interject insanely wild
01:13:47
[ __ ] well I thought it was already funny the way it was well you're wrong just the regular news you don't take your
01:13:54
headphones off yeah what what's that move me mad at Bobby are you going to make him use you're going to make him
01:13:59
[ __ ] use be nice sober dude I'm dude I'm so happy for your sobriety than and I I know you did your best but as a comedy writer yeah yeah I just I was waiting for like it could to get so
01:14:11
crazy that we would all be like laughing you copy and pasted the news well just the quotes because I can't write that
01:14:18
yeah yeah yeah yeah you copy and paste it though not completely I was reading it and then writing it out myself too it
01:14:24
wasn't plagiarized like I thought you was going to go shading you know what I mean and just crazier words you know I mean show Bob that video then show the
01:14:31
video that you that I sent you for having me and I'm very excited to pitch a degree fre that one's tough that's a tough one I'm looking forward to go back to that real fast that one's the
01:14:43
toughest part a tough one where you excited to pitch at both having me and I'm very excited to pitch a degree okay since he woke up that morning he
01:14:57
was repeating wigg wigg Wiggly Field wigg field and the driver is like Wiggly Field and he's like Wiggly peeled wi Wiggly peels that's a mean okay keep
01:15:10
going they don't make us do that when we go over there what do you mean you know when like basketball players go play
01:15:15
overseas they don't have to [ __ ] like learn the language to do a press conference that's so hard is there a word in Japanese that Americans can't
01:15:21
say that's all of them everything we can't speak Japanese well like give me like a little Japanese M I
01:15:28
think I can do ITA Isa yeah Issa could do it you can speak Japanese yeah oh that's right you were learning it last time yeah yeah what's give speak some
01:15:35
Japanese say hey I'm so excited to be here in Los Angeles America that's it they really can they
01:15:42
really do everything really more efficient than us don't they you can say that's I'm excited to be here in Los Angeles but saying is like I'm so so like very over
01:15:55
like exited in a way that it's like sexual really really goo say say say it again I want to do that I want to try to repeat that yeah let's see can you do it absolutely not okay do it again try it
01:16:08
again I'm so excited that's good just to say I'm so excited to be here just say to be here yeah I'm
01:16:17
yeah nope I have Coco I have Coco that's it I have Coco that's it that's it Coca-Cola one more time one more
01:16:36
time so hard I don't understand how that's so hard to do as as a 15-year-old young
01:16:44
person as you're starting to come into looking forward into like you're not a little kid you're not a grown grownup do you start to see the world in
01:16:56
a way where you're thinking about what you might want to do in the world what your contribut what do you think you want to do in the world I don't know but
01:17:04
do but does anything interest you like that are you like you know what I would do for a job would be fun I should be a scam artist yeah that's true we did say
01:17:10
that on this show yeah I think that was bad to influence her to do that but yeah but Izzy what do you want to do what
01:17:16
would be fun to be as your life I should be a realtor okay what yeah yeah yeah no
01:17:22
she could sell a us a house this is my wife this is my wife babina okay hi hi hiina what a beautiful house mhm very beautiful this was picked especially for
01:17:34
you wow wow what do you mean we just we literally just came here an open house no you're supposed to you're supposed to tell me what you want and then send no it says open
01:17:45
house know that I'm babina this is my Felipe I'm Felipe that's babina my wife yeah so just so you instant know that this is our house wow yeah I can feel it from your bones you can feel B bone
01:17:59
energy what do you Army Hammer what's wrong with our bones leave our bones out of this yeah yeah um so miss what's your
01:18:05
name oh um babina what you're you you have the same name as my wife [ __ ] crazy no that's how I knew that you wanted this house can I see your ID real
01:18:17
quick oh my God sweetie look it is Bab look it is babina wow okay Miss well how many bedrooms and how many bathrooms are this in this has six bedrooms wow that's a lot that's yeah that's a lot how many
01:18:30
bathro how many bathrooms four bathrooms six and four that's not bad how many how many square feet
01:18:37
um you know the property you've been here all day how many square feet around as as much as you would want it
01:18:45
to be what would that be what would that be the specific number because how many do you think cuz we do have we have
01:18:50
certain C furniture let's ask um my partner no no no no no P wait you have another partner named Pina no her name's
01:19:00
Pina hiina hiina oh she's deaf oh she's oh she's a mute mute I mean she's mute all right so babina how many square feet do you think it is just guess cuz it maybe
01:19:14
around just throw out a number throw out a number there okay 10 10 square ft wow
01:19:20
so six wait wait wait excuse me for a second can I ask something six bedrooms four bathrooms in
01:19:29
10 square ft this is insane this is how they do it in the Philippines in the Philippines wow these rooms are so small this is unbelievable well how big is the the lot
01:19:41
around it how many square feet is the lot that we're on 20 so 20 squet so double double the yeah so wow wow how
01:19:49
much is it how much is that how much is this house well do you want to around do you want around pesos or well dollars
01:19:56
would be preferred inates yeah and around 30 mil 30 square feet of land oh my God six bedroom Four B in 10 wow wow
01:20:11
30 million 30 million we got to kind call our accountant I don't know if we can afford yeah well can can you can you
01:20:18
explain to me the school system cuz we have six kids yeah oh what kind of schools are in the area well the one near us actually had a shooting so I wouldn't recommend that
01:20:29
one maybe the the other closest one would be around 2 hours away two hours well wow I think you're selling us yeah I think you're selling it we do we do
01:20:41
want to be away from everything how about crime yeah what's the crime rate out here a lot a lot like tell me tell
01:20:47
us I'm much $30 million house in a high crime area yeah 10 square ft crime no school six by six bed four bath six bed four bath wow wow there are actually a
01:21:00
lot of people that would try to carry your house so you might be you might want to be careful of that carry it oh
01:21:06
so it's portable portable so this is on Wheels it's a portable house we are buying a portable $30 million house in a
01:21:12
bad neighborhood that they can carry huh like huh what's is there HOA fees is there any what does that cost you know
01:21:18
what the HOAs are over here no what do you think oh there isn't any or there are some
01:21:23
cuz it says there's HOA right on the flyer yeah are would that be a mon a month a month a month maybe half 30 mil
01:21:31
so oh so 15 15 million a month 15 mil so 15 million let me get this we h a 15 million a month month wow
01:21:41
what a deal that's pretty good that's pretty does that provide security of some kind yeah of course there's
01:21:48
actually there's actually poopina outside oh so comes with the she comes with the house comes with the house with the house wow and and but she can't talk so if something bad happens she can't
01:21:59
talk and fight so she would try to sign the the robber she would sign the robber
01:22:04
go away beware okay dog okay I see all right so are there any other offers on this house cuz we might be interested yeah yeah are there competitors out there or people trying to buy this house there's a lot of
01:22:15
people who want lot of competi you might want to buy it now wow oh so people want to buy right now I see what percentage
01:22:22
down payment do you require to buy this what percent yeah around 90 90% down payment so we need up around $25 million do we have 25 of liquid money we
01:22:36
do we do I know I don't know if this is that's all we that's our we have though 25 million 15 million a month so that's
01:22:43
million a month that's a lot for ho wowow okay okay I can I be honest with you yeah I think you got a future in
01:22:49
real estate yeah I do I do that's great uh all right so look we're happy you're back we're sad you're leaving we hope
01:22:56
when you come back you come see us yeah you know you know how we end the the we log off the show so you want to say it
01:23:01
thank you for being a bad friend [Music] amazing wo yeah a