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hey bad friends fans I'm still down on the knife and I can't wait to get back to the US of a to go on tour me and Bob
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and the crew are coming to your city we're doing 33 34 cities who knows but go to badfriendspod.com badfriendspod.com to get those tickets that's the place we added dates we added
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cities we added shows badfriendspod.com and also Oklahoma City St Louis Louisville Nashville Memphis
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Norfolk Virginia Durham and Charlotte where are you at you guys are the cities that we're coming to that you may not know about because we added dates and added times so go to badfriendspod.com
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to get those tickets to see me and Bob and the crew do stand up do stuff from the show do all sorts of fan
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interactions have the best time of your life I love you very much thank you for being a bad friend
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[Music] [Music] [Laughter] I don't know much about them [Laughter] what does that mean no idea oh is it a food no it could be it's like understood
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oh I feel like I've had cookies on bread before no yeah oh that's compressing my bad anyway
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let's start friends I tell you something yeah I'm done I know you'd already told us
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I'll tell you why these women they began cray cray they are cray-crated okay I set updates they cancel oh right wow
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they say oh I want to date somebody younger who um they flaky let's hang out and then
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you text them three or four times no response wow women be crazy okay let's introduce the people in the room let's start there okay Josh Peck I'm
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telling you man I love you man you're a good guy I love you you're a good guy and um I'm really honestly like you know
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dude I'll be honest with you dude you could be one of the best guys thank you it's in your eyes it crinkles
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well you know I've said this before when you see this the crow's feet is because
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they're smiling do you know that and they smile a lot am I a good white you said that was like so good I know you mean you're a good wife thank you
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you're one of the best whites um they should bring rickshaws back but that's just my own opinion they'd still
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have them in some places today really yeah I don't think they I've never I haven't seen a rickshaw in years well it's a
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rickshaw different than a tuk-tuk yeah a rickshaw is um that's not a rickshaw that's a rickshaw oh that's a human the
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human is the cut right so imagine having a rickshaw but having Uber yeah oh that'd be so cool you'd be in such good shape right but also you call your Uber three hours later you're still not there
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and he's just coming up here oh yeah yeah you think Gretta tunberg wants human-powered rickshaws that's her name
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I think I I don't know her name but I'm sure it's not a toonberger I'm pretty sure it
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is it's I think Greta Thornburg thundberg I think it's sunberg but then I think the proper like proper proper
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yes you would know thank you that's right my bad I apologize good white the guy looks very good you think he's a
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good one yeah yeah so kind same same to you yeah but back when they had rickshaws let me ask you um were there no horsies around
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must have been right right like who was the first guy to do that like should I get on your back your man
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no let me come up with something yeah you know what I mean just push it and then a year later it's like look at yeah
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I mean I don't know where was the where was it mostly Asia right you don't see rickshaws and Africa right Detroit it'd be so fast in Africa
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who was just you know what I mean what you can't we look like that's funny right having a rickshaw right in Ireland you go in circles they're so drunk right
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you wouldn't ever get to wherever you're going right rickshaw's in uh that's it that's all you guys yeah that's all I got I feel like they still have them in like the Renaissance
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Festival no I'm pretty sure if you go to the Renaissance Festival then it's a carriage no they would have a carriage I think some people do it what do so white people did do rickshaws back in the day
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well the Renaissance Festival isn't entirely based on fact I don't think so I think some of it's me who goes yeah who goes yeah I love the Renaissance
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Festival what do you love about it well my dad and my stepmom got married there so I I grew up
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stop stop I never told you that your mom your stepdad no my my dad and my your dad and your stepmom got married
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at a Renaissance Festival yeah did they dress up as well oh yeah like a maiden and your dad's like I'm Legolas pretty much yeah yeah wow call me Friar
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talk wow he really did have long hair at the time and um why they they love uh Medieval Times we'd go to the Renaissance Festival
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every year we had friends they had friends who worked at a shop there so we'd even go there off season and see
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the fair like when people just live there people live there yeah will people live at a Renaissance Fair yeah some of
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the shops are just like houses are you [ __ ] kidding me no so they live like the people did in the medieval times more or less I mean so
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there's no flushing toilet and I think they have Plumbing well they're cheating yeah if you're gonna go go all the way
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yeah you eat their [ __ ] food yeah right turkey eggs what big turkey legs yeah yeah or starve at times how do you
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guys not like the renfai it's so fun let me guess um because Asians weren't around then it's it's one of those things where it's like if I was there I'd be like yeah I don't belong here
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Jews too Jews too we don't belong we don't belong there either I never thought of it like that or sorry I've
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been very ignorant yeah I mean but you guys can go now but it's so weird that I'm a grown-up yeah me too I won't even go to Burning Man Would You Do you go burning man yeah no
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I've had so many people invite me yeah what's wrong with them what are they searching for and you're
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sober right yeah yeah you know I know some sober people that go there too I hear that too yeah I
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think with I really don't know because there's the things that I don't like about it is
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sand I don't like sand do you like sand no one likes sand no one likes no matter
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what you like sand I grew up in the desert I grew up in Arizona yeah yeah you were in a prefab house with the Spanish right yeah we have sand in La as well yeah but I like like a fun
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thing to do on a Saturday was go walk around the desert yeah okay where the Scorpions yeah here's another
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thing I don't like fire dancing it's so dumb now look at me you know what I mean you know I'm jump roping but these are [ __ ] this is on fire yeah and then
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they do these moves and everyone goes oh yeah do you like it be honest I've never seen
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a fire dance before I don't like any of I have two kids I drive it I drive the lower end Tesla right oh you do yeah I'm very economical well you
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could get a higher end I did and then Elon raises the prices and I couldn't justify it in my mind but you could
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still do it sure oh so you don't so if you and I were like hey let's let's go to dinner it's my birthday
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and I go I want to go to this restaurant are you going to be like no oh yeah no I'm gonna spend on that
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because I'm a big a I'm a big boy I am I'm a sober King so food is my final frontier right yeah yeah yeah I'm just
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not gonna spend money to go to 10 days in Nevada with someone named you know Sage that's a guy named Sage yeah a dude named Sage telling me about like how the
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banking system's failing that might be true but like you know what I mean yeah I don't want to have these conversations
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yeah and also it's like I don't want I have money yeah they trade like here's a Snickers bar for a [ __ ]
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you know I mean massage yeah or tissue paper yeah it's like I could go to Vons [ __ ] right and I have money I could go to
00:09:10
Four Seasons what's better Four Seasons or the desert Four Seasons conspiracy and all these people like here's the problem if they're right let's just [ __ ] end things you know
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because like I don't want to believe that a guy named Sage knows what's really up [ __ ] my thoughts exactly let's end it
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all let's end it all dude yeah because I did I don't have to say this man I dated a girl right who believes that we're
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Hollywood is this big cabal of pedophiles oh right and they drink they drink baby's blood right yeah yeah and I looked at adrenochrome adrenochrome yeah
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right and then her argument was this well Sandra Bull look ate baby cannibalism I go how she bought a cream
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a face cream and they use baby um circumcised the tip foreskin what's it called foreskin they call the foreskin I call it a tip
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okay I mean when I say tip do you understand what I'm saying right but I I use the property
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okay foreskin all right to each his own button all right foreskin so they take the foreskin of a baby right and I don't
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know how they remove that but I'm sure it's quick the scalpel really you can just tear it off I have two kids that had to do it oh you did it
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no no I didn't do it but I was in the room oh that'd be cool if you did it I'd be nervous but in a Jewish ceremony it's
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the rabbi doing it I thought that I thought in June let me ask you about Judaism please I'm here I
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promise you something I judaisms don't do it they leave the skin on no we created it
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yeah what do you mean they are they're all doing it yeah yeah so you do cut it off oh yeah where yeah oh you guys
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created it yeah all right so because all right I thought that was a Judaism that they don't you haven't seen students
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list Ed Stop literally this is the first time I want to say this okay not one word that I understand
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not one word that I understand and I think your problem is this okay you see a window of opportunity to talk but you just because you think it's me and I'm gonna cut you off so you do it as quick
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as you can and it comes out weird so let me tell you something Bud all right how about this dude give me a symbol
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right when you're gonna say something right and I'll give you 10 seconds 10 seconds dude and you see it slow so
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I'll give you that moment again okay he needs a verbal Crossing yeah so um I think I got what you're saying have I ever seen Schindler's List yes yes I did great movie you're right
00:12:04
but what's the point they're naked and that's how they discover who is a Jew and who's not
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ah yeah yeah yeah it's a rough time it was a rough time I'm so sorry yeah I don't think you had anything to
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do with it though your people we didn't no but um because you know we had rickshaws and to
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get over there it's a long way and stuff yeah um but you know we've been oppressed as well Koreans but um what
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you guys suffered anyway really sad time but so let's so anyways Sandra Bullock got a cream with the circumcised
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with foreskin I was gonna say it with the tip right and shoot and then this girl that was dating goes but that's cannibalism because it's like she's absorbing it through her face
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that's consuming and I go I don't know if that's quite the same thing as cannibalism but you
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know what do you think where were they getting the foreskin from like Koreans they are I think well they're Korean
00:13:05
foreskins not getting like [ __ ] you I mean why Ethiopian foreskins no they're making a company that's making face
00:13:11
cream uses foreskins in their [ __ ] there's no way you're thinking maybe like stem cells or something no that's
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what she said well that girl is why look it up that girl is insane there's no way
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why why I tried the foreskin phaser treatment okay I stand correct yeah I mean they're doing it they're using the foreskin from who who's donating that the baby first of all when you have a
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baby right let me ask you something when you have a baby I'm gonna take that home they don't take it home they put it in the [ __ ] Red Basket yeah but then
00:13:44
it's done right you think L'Oreal has a baby Farm but that's a that's what a France or whatever
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it's a Korean cream what l'orealis no no yeah yeah so but she's saying that the absorbent that's Cannibal and do you think do you agree
00:14:08
I wouldn't call it cannibalism but it is an a byproduct of a human yeah do you think eating a human would taste good that's a fair I've thought about this so
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many times I really have let's jump in tasteful it depends how you prepare it fair you know uh I don't think I could do Sashimi no right like if what Rick
00:14:36
tartare yeah Steve tatara um even in a bruschetta I don't think I would want it yeah I think I need it cooked yeah well done what do you think
00:14:48
seasoned blackened yeah yeah occasion like a cajuny Asian Dan yeah Cajun dad what if you could like get some of his powers through that you know oh yeah
00:15:00
yeah well my dick got longer or something that'd be cool I once had a dinner with the guy who's at the
00:15:06
Forefront of like the FDA approved penis enlargement surgery what yeah like there's an actual like
00:15:14
they they cut it in the middle they extend it it heals and then all the collagen that
00:15:21
gets built up everything sort of like replaces and you're like you can gain an inch it's mostly
00:15:28
for Growers not showers you know what I'm saying yeah yeah it's for Growers because I'm a grower right right so when
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I'm when I'm in a spa you know and I'm there with other people I kind of want to say to people like I don't think
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they'd care but I just want to I wanted to say that to people like it grows right but you don't say you sit in your
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mind you know what I mean you'd be weird if you said it out loud yeah but I just want people to know like
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I feel like girls right now they don't want to date me because they think my dick's small but it's not
00:15:58
you talk about it a lot though about what your your penis I love it yeah and you talk about how it gets bigger than it looks [Laughter]
00:16:13
man you're really poking I don't mean to it yeah yeah I'm sorry for bringing it up all the time no I mean any girls
00:16:19
dates you should know yeah why are they surprised that's all that's all I wanted to do there's people listen to this
00:16:25
podcast I'm just throwing it out there I can't believe These Girls Aren't texting you back that's so rude you think so yeah thank you so much I think you're on
00:16:31
my side I am and it feels good yeah let's go back to eating when was your last physical rendezvous
00:16:39
this show is sponsored by better help you guys betterhelp has helped me and Andrew through a lot um it's online
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therapy um it's the best out there uh Bob and I have talked so much about betterhelp and about talking to someone and I think when you're at your best you can do very very
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to get 10 off your first month that's better help help.com bad friends displayed I love displays I love art and
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you know I'll tell you when I was a kid big art fan let me that was a kid Andrew right yeah I had Depeche Mode album like
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the and they over the years they get ripped the corners right Corners everything and they they the the the
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plates or 37 off for three or more displays what a deal display collect your passions um before I went on my trip
00:19:25
um so I had a physical rendezvous with somebody that I had met one time she's beautiful
00:19:31
um and we had sexual intercourse hey why I don't know yeah I'm very clinical about it
00:19:44
no I'm very like get on your back yeah I mean I'm very precise yeah I need stage Direction yeah you know I mean like when I [ __ ] people it's like you know what I mean walk in the room paper sheets right say this line yeah right I
00:19:57
make them do it over again sure if they get it [ __ ] up [ __ ] it up yeah and then I go um but doggy generally they
00:20:04
have to lead me into that I don't do doggy because you're kind of there's no way out of this yeah yeah because you're a little [Laughter]
00:20:20
go ahead drop well we're friends the reality is you're good white go ahead because you're smaller stature
00:20:31
because say it the way you mean it you used to say about oh that you were because she's a taller yeah that it was the proportions were tough you know it was like two puzzle
00:20:44
pieces that looked like they should fit and then you put them together and you go no this it's a corner piece yeah
00:20:53
but I have to say all right my argument against that though is I don't think you can think it's that anymore okay you
00:20:59
know I just think that balancing you know I'm not a balancer I wouldn't be a good like um stewardess is that on
00:21:07
airplane stewardess no uh what do you call them flight attendant I wouldn't be good flight attendant I'm just not good at balancing yeah yeah I'd just be like
00:21:14
whoa your coffee yeah the drinks would yeah so um that's not good for me the log
00:21:21
thing I'm not good at where they're no one would put a log in the lake [Laughter]
00:21:42
yeah what other positions aren't you great at um side I'm not gonna decide everyone's good inside I'm not good at side because you just
00:21:55
get to kind of rest I know but you still have to do I think you're exercising muscles that I don't exercise right so I
00:22:01
imagine you're on the side right this muscle right here on my right side if I'm yes see it hurts right now right so
00:22:09
I don't really use this muscle so it's not developed yeah yeah I mean they should have they should have a school or something or or you know it would come
00:22:15
up with an actual like mechanism like a weightlifting you know mechanism that um strengthens the muscles that you would use in sexual positions yeah why don't they have that why don't they have that I mean it seems simple right and so
00:22:28
on one of them will say like side position and then you just have like a little thing and you know something that you
00:22:34
just kind of work on like male porn stars could teach it like that's true Manuel Ferreira or right they do it like
00:22:40
Peloton Rocco sifredi we do like Peloton where they're on the screen yeah I mean all right guys get on your side and one
00:22:47
two right right but they both have Italian accents they do yeah yeah is that one I'm on the machine I'm on the machine go ahead I'm turning it on okay here we go welcome guys wow good job
00:23:03
yeah now you have to really use your hips Bobby yeah nice very good thank you that's something we should come up with I think so I think there's something there I think we're remiss yeah so I'm not good at side are you
00:23:18
good at side yeah great at it whoa that's a bold statement I really I'm really working hard in there I want
00:23:25
to be I want to impress I wanna yeah I can tell you can tell I don't have a dad when I'm having sex oh there's some rage no it's just like
00:23:37
come home oh you come home it's just like if I'm really good will you come home Dad well so there's some
00:23:44
vulnerability there then maybe yeah I'm at a walking vulnerable let's be honest yeah yeah do you initiate or no
00:23:52
I feel like if I initiated as many times as I'm feeling like I want to it would the level of rejection would kill me from your wife just just because it's not really like I would just do it every
00:24:05
day and I think what I've learned is that's not reasonable I don't think it's healthy though do you think or no every
00:24:11
day every day I think it's probably healthy but it feels good it's so fun it seems healthy yeah yeah right yeah why
00:24:17
not but but what's it like being living alone yeah it's amazing I could do whatever I want whenever I want I feel really free I feel like a lot of my
00:24:28
stuff was in storage for the last few years and I finally unpacked it and I feel like I've got a part of myself back
00:24:34
that been missing for a long time and I feel like the success I've gotten from this podcast and from Bobby it's now physically represented in my space
00:24:46
and I feel like I have a home to go home to that really what it touches me I'm so
00:24:52
slapping you know me too right it's the freedom of that you she deserves it I think I think you do deserve it yeah you do deserve it and um I want to say that
00:25:02
I want to do a contest to see you can cry first no you're a better actor not necessarily I think you are I just feel it coming
00:25:39
[Music] I got a lot of help obviously Bobby I couldn't have done it without Bobby in
00:25:45
the podcast but yeah begging you other comedians helped me too like I got a bed from Anthony jelson whoa he's sponsored by Helix so he
00:26:03
couldn't use this that's not gonna make me cry yeah yeah he gave you a call yeah he made a call
00:26:10
for you yeah he's a dude good dude I saw him last night what a good dude they mailed it to my house and then he's also
00:26:16
getting a new TV so I'm getting all his old stuff but he's like Rich so it's old
00:26:21
stuff it was cool to me he mentioned the last time you got a new TV I'm getting the old one oh that's amazing yeah I
00:26:27
want to give back to my peers but my stuff's not as cool so so what do you have to give back to the people below
00:26:32
below you I have like my toothbrush I think I'm gonna get an electric line a good really yeah so I'll give them my old one and so are you really changing every aspect of your life right now
00:26:46
um yeah I would say so and and I can I've been hiking a lot with my dog and every everything's good I'm getting right into routine right before we go on tour but watch though
00:26:58
I think you still you're okay I'm getting there okay good yeah and I don't want to be I just want to warn you yeah right some of the people that you started with
00:27:08
they might start turning be very careful what do you guys mean what do you mean what do you mean what do you mean you're shaking your head yes yeah they're gonna [ __ ] hate you
00:27:21
okay when you become successful some people around you they change right and they start talking shipping on your back they become hostile not in
00:27:33
front of you sometimes but it's hidden but be very careful well can you give me some examples of
00:27:40
what to be careful okay I'll give you an example me and John all right I'll give you an example you okay we work at the comedy store right because she works at
00:27:46
the conference store as a sometimes a lot person the door right we got the same job years ago with you right we
00:27:52
were a lot people together door people together Josh and I right okay and we're still at the same level as we were right
00:27:59
you're taking off right and we would probably go hey Jess how are you how's things going good how are you guys
00:28:09
yeah anyways see you later she leaves and then him and I have a one hour yeah rip who the [ __ ] does Helix
00:28:21
she never stops talking about Justice that happens yeah oh my God and it's probably happening now well
00:28:35
you're such a good person that it doesn't even matter pray for your enemies yeah and then make a list
00:28:41
because you're doing better than you've ever done Bobby and I'm not just saying that just take it and take it in how
00:28:47
about that do you still have an active list of your enemies oh yeah is that an active it's not they're not enemies in
00:28:54
the sense of people that have my eye on sure you're right I get like I you know I have my eye on them and what if they
00:29:01
say stuff or they behave in a way that feels weird to me um I don't lash out I just I write it
00:29:08
down I write it down in my mind yeah you know I mean like she said this he said this
00:29:13
he did this you know what I mean um it's always like something very passive aggressive
00:29:19
or um like there was one comic who wants this person's probably gonna hear this right now but I'll just say it um I help this person out a lot and then
00:29:32
this person was bringing me up on stage at The Comedy Store when this person was bringing up
00:29:40
oh this next guy hasn't changed that act in 20 years and it's like 1980s type of
00:29:46
Comedy but if you're into that here he is damn right and when I was in the back and this person is doing well I was in the back and you could just see my
00:29:57
[ __ ] brain swirling and my resentment rising and just and I went up I was fine
00:30:04
I didn't rip this person apart but um I have my item for listening she's awesome she's my sister yeah yeah yeah it's not yeah but um that was very
00:30:25
good though Mickey I love you okay yeah yeah but do you have resentments or you have enemies yeah plenty you do right
00:30:32
yeah yeah like other actors other actors just people casting directors producers dude casting directors was huge for me oh my God yeah huge yeah yeah because they say things
00:30:46
to my agent and my agent says things to me did he doesn't hide that's good though I like it that way it's right he says it like word for word yeah she just
00:30:56
doesn't think you're talented no or something like that no and you and you hear it you go okay thanks for telling
00:31:02
me the way it is enjoy your ten percent yeah yeah and I hang up and I'll just sit there no what I just said there
00:31:10
wasn't that big of an exaggeration that's crazy I've had people say um casting directors go he's not a star and things of that nature what does that
00:31:21
mean I don't know who's a star Brad Matt Damon Brad Pitt that's different though
00:31:26
no one is those are anomalies that's a total the top of that yeah yeah like so who's a star in your ballpark
00:31:34
um Ronnie Chang and so they would say like he's not Ronnie Chang yeah he doesn't have the
00:31:40
Chang effect yeah yeah yeah yeah he doesn't have the chinga back that's exactly really [ __ ] him thank you so much
00:31:48
it's something that I would hear probably though he doesn't have that you know I mean Zhang is the number one guy
00:31:53
Ken Jung is the number one guy still no but there was there was a time where I would hear that right like your third in
00:32:00
line but Ken's gonna do it stuff like that and that's fine when other actors beat me out I say that's
00:32:06
fine right it's just when customers or these like Gatekeepers you know what I mean
00:32:11
um when you can tell they don't like you you can just tell yeah right and you don't know how to respect because I don't you know you and I we're both recovering alcoholics and I say that please right so we're very sensitive the
00:32:24
most dude I am so sensitive yeah I mean you guys know how sensitive I am right no I look at them they're all nodding
00:32:30
there yeah yeah I'm like a [ __ ] open sore of sensitivity right same so it's like I sometimes when I hear the information or I'm sensing something
00:32:41
and I'm trying to like get to a healthy place with it it's so difficult for me I spend sometimes days dwelling on
00:32:48
something right right and then it gets to a point where it's like oh there's nothing I can do can I tell you a funny
00:32:53
story go ahead I once after I've seen the same therapist for over 15 years so he's literally heard the same [ __ ] every Thursday right yeah yeah one time I'm lamented
00:33:04
about where I am at my career and I mentioned these two actors in Seth Rogen yeah who are just so far ahead of me and
00:33:11
he goes you know and he's this guy's like good to me like always on my side always because he knows how hard I am on
00:33:17
myself he goes well to be honest I don't I've never heard of those other two guys and then he goes
00:33:24
but I'm you're never going to be Seth Rogen uh you're who said that right there your
00:33:30
therapist said that but he's right no he's not in the sense no he's not he's he's not he's not he was just no I'm making him sound worse that's insane I
00:33:41
love him I love you Tom all right Tom no but what I'm saying is it's like he was like the he Seth Rogen is a generational Talent like what you
00:33:52
said before Matt Damon and the other person you said like these are generational folk so they are in a a
00:33:58
they're Zeus they're they're the God but can I just say this though let me make that argument right okay there was a
00:34:03
time where Bob Odenkirk well it had been around for a very long time and before um Breaking Bad you would have never said yeah somebody would have said to Bob on Kirk you're never gonna be like
00:34:13
so-and-so but now he's exceeded them my point is is that it can happen at any time in life right you have the talent
00:34:20
you have the likability you have the know-how right you never know right so that's that that statement is just not
00:34:25
true to me because Odin Kirk is killing it killing it yeah and he is old Brian Cranston before [ __ ] Breaking Bad yes I mean he he was the [ __ ] father on Malcolm in the Middle
00:34:37
he'll never he'll never be dinero in many ways he's cooler Frank Cranston yeah yeah it's only one dinero I know it's Robert
00:34:51
dinner but there's only one Brian Cranston these shoes that's true you're right you're never
00:34:56
gonna be uh Robert De Niro I didn't move with Al Pacino and he was so cool and I
00:35:02
literally was this close to him and I was like there's only one of you I mean I was this close easier you said that out loud
00:35:08
well you said there's only one of you Al Pacino that's what you said oh [Laughter] what do you mean really no the one thing
00:35:19
I always remember is we're doing a scene together in halfway through he goes I'm exhausted wow and I was like yeah dude
00:35:25
it's a lot like he was in his early 70s but he was the coolest the coolest what movie was it it's called Danny Collins
00:35:31
crazy castle really who else is in it Annette Bening oh my God uh Christopher Plummer holy [ __ ] Bobby Cannavale you know what's so great about you is that
00:35:42
you can live in both worlds is that great I'm lucky yeah I'm really lucky and that's in many ways some of
00:35:48
these people were talking what are you looking up it's Danny Collins oh cool yeah yeah I know
00:35:54
I know him let's move on it's a fictional character oh that's it oh this is [Laughter]
00:36:03
I just lied I'm so sorry I guess I had a lot do you find your yourself lying all
00:36:09
the time more or less with how successful you are more it's not that I lie I just don't tell
00:36:16
the truth sure yeah yeah yeah um just things come out I don't have a thing where it's like because it's like
00:36:22
when I want to move on from something I lie like if I'm walking down the street and go hey did you see um John mclagan the
00:36:29
movie yeah and I'll go yeah great because I don't want to get I don't want him to try to pitch it to me yeah you
00:36:36
gotta see it because this performance is a performance of a lifetime you know what I mean and I just want to move on I
00:36:42
love that movie he's gonna win an Oscar and I'll just move on I lie in that way what about if someone goes like hey Rick
00:36:48
says hi and you know you have no idea who Rick oh that's I love those tell Rick I said I love them let me do it let
00:36:54
me go all right go ahead Bobby yeah hey Rick says hi dude tell Rick I love him I will okay his mom's sick
00:37:01
Rick as a mom she's doing bad Rick's doing bad you're right but maybe you're Rick right right you could be Rick in that situation so
00:37:12
do it again let's do it again hey Bobby Rick says hi come on Rick broom.com hey baby with room.com you can shop thousands of cars right from your
00:37:26
phone and have your next ride delivered straight to you just like Bobby did and I did for my mom you got your car and
00:37:32
your mom got it and my mom got a car onroom.com I don't know why why I'm not going around from dealership to dealership that's why I did you said you
00:37:38
said I said no more can I do it from my phone yeah vroom is the better way to buy your next ride guys you know what it is you never have to haggle or negotiate
00:37:44
is that what it is that is you got a full week I talked to Bob he goes what if I don't like the car I said dude this is the best part you get a full week or
00:37:50
250 miles whichever comes first to make sure you like the ride and if you don't know by 250 or a full week come on man
00:37:56
you don't know all the cars Andrew on room.com come with a 90-day limited warranty and a one year of roadside
00:38:02
assistance Nationwide give you peace of mind while on the road you can trade in your old car Bob your old car well you
00:38:09
gave it to Jules but you still could try it you should have or by the way you could just sell your cart of room just
00:38:14
give it to him when you sell your car and room you get a price instantaneously there's no haggling and none of that back and forth you you too at home you
00:38:20
can buy a car from room entirely online so next time you need to buy a car just grab your phone go to room.com and check out thousands of cars bespoke post
00:38:27
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00:38:46
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00:39:24
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00:39:35
biggest store I've ever done a scene with is we'll keep Blanchette but then um Ben
00:39:40
Kingsley too me too well you worked with service did you have to call him sir Ben yeah me too yeah he told me to do it
00:39:48
yeah they do tell you yeah yeah when you show up they got you got to call them I got Ben who I don't know him right I
00:39:55
can't do that okay so and then when I said sir Ben you know he's really sweet the best the best he sat on a couch and I was sitting there he just sat down
00:40:06
because his back hurt or whatever and we were between the camera centers you don't want to go what's so funny
00:40:13
I don't know if it hurt but he went yeah he could have it might not hurt you think I'm lying yeah possibly yeah yeah he sat down though okay you think that do you think
00:40:25
I'm lying about that I believe that okay you know Pete right so um and then at least I don't know how we got into we talked about Gandhi right and he goes did you know that
00:40:40
um a million people showed up for that scene so when you're watching it because in the in the movie Gandhi you see
00:40:45
everyone picking up Gandhi right right in in today's world you would see Jack GI all that in
00:40:52
but back in the day in the 80s they a million people showed up because they knew that they were doing a movie about
00:40:58
Gandhi about his death and they all if you watch the movie people are just carrying them wow and how insane imagine
00:41:06
like the A.D on that shirt it would be [ __ ] nightmare yeah right covered protocols
00:41:12
well thank God I'm actually testing all those guys six feet yeah does what he did in Gandhi sir Ben does that seem like magic to you what do
00:41:25
you mean like I do there are certain performances where I can even Great Performances where I can be like I can
00:41:30
see the the sleight of hand I can see the track right and then there are some performances where I'm like I don't know
00:41:36
how he did that yeah you kind of it could be a documentary is that what you're saying like some Daniel Day-Lewis [ __ ] oh yeah yeah that's a high level
00:41:43
well because as a young young person watching it I didn't know who Ben kill I thought it was an Indian old Indian guy right right you don't know that he's an
00:41:49
English dude you know what I mean but he um have you seen that movie in fact when you say you know Daniel Day
00:41:56
Lewis is in the movie right did you know he was in Gandhi yeah yeah yeah he plays a street Thug
00:42:02
and he has six lines wow do you guys know that Daniel D Lewis and he's he's in high school I think
00:42:08
look up Daniel yeah wow yeah he's a kid that's like Sam Rockwell has one scene in Basquiat no yeah but he's like and
00:42:19
he's really good and really young but he's still like Sam Rockwell so he's like beating out Bosque and he's like hey man give me your money
00:42:26
oh really hey man yeah oh wow it's like I'm beating you up basket do you play video games no I have sex with girls [ __ ] you
00:42:38
you're okay right now I do you guys are you playing Hogwarts Legacy no okay is it the number one game to ever be created sorry no I just took a
00:42:50
second I hear what you say Hogwarts Legacy yeah no you know what it is it's Harry Potter right yeah yeah
00:42:57
um yeah it's a it's a it's you you know you create your own little guy and you explore the world
00:43:03
um I have some issues with it but I don't want to talk about enough because you guys it looks awesome it's not but I don't have that game thing yeah
00:43:10
yeah yeah would you talk about this with Santino he's not a gamer nobody would get mad
00:43:15
you would get angry like yeah [ __ ] yeah but he talks about golf what do I give a [ __ ] golf stop it do you play it
00:43:23
no that's why I love you do I play golf yeah I hate my life enough I know I need
00:43:29
another thing to be frustrated at least exactly by the way ping pong ping pong not I know you're good at ping pong no but if if was that a [ __ ] Jeep I like Ping Pong because you could put it at a beach party yeah yeah yeah you can't
00:43:41
play golf in a beach party golf's expensive it's expensive as [ __ ] it's a whole thing many country clubs are
00:43:47
anti-Semitic [Laughter] I just you just got to Bobby like so happy really their answer is yeah it's fine what can you do you know what
00:44:11
Santino's beating me out for many roles I thought that'd be a fun thing to bring up like what Dave
00:44:23
number one you'd be better wow it'll be different better in a different way less red right less red yeah more pleasing to the eye
00:44:35
yeah no pleasing to the eye depends where you're into right not as much of a super healer he's a great actor though
00:44:40
he is he's a great he's a great actor he can do everything um he really can um annoy the [ __ ] out
00:44:47
of me this last week has been annoying me the [ __ ] out of me why because I don't post enough about our tour and
00:44:53
it's like you know look at my [ __ ] look I don't post at all but I it's as opposed I put the thing dates around I
00:44:59
restore everyone they store it but he's still like at two in the morning will call me from Australia what the [ __ ] man
00:45:05
am I in this alone whatever it's like I don't even pick up his [ __ ] phone call anymore yeah I I hate him
00:45:17
read a text from Andrew to me I hate him I think he refers to you I hate him he said I'm gonna call him now
00:45:29
[ __ ] piece of [ __ ] he said that wow by the way he beat me for that part too with the Australian copy no way I'm over it
00:45:43
are you over it well we'll see because if it's great oh it's gonna kill me oh it'll yeah me too he's our friend I know not my friend
00:45:56
never met him no he's great he's great okay well well what is this pleasure see it's the energy
00:46:13
it's not a good energy who's barely promoting his um really I I restore everything hey guys
00:46:34
[Laughter] and by the way thanks for [ __ ] reposting the story without the link
00:46:47
that'll be helpful for the [ __ ] fans click here oh you can [Laughter] how's Australia
00:47:01
you loving it um McDonald's loving it they call it maca's down here McDonald's that's what they say
00:47:14
um it's good it's my last day today is my last day on set I'm done and when are you coming home
00:47:22
when are you coming home when are you coming home I come home in a week I'm home in a week where are you in L.A I'm right now doing
00:47:33
the podcast bad friends you're on it Josh Peck oh I love Josh Peck what a cutie pie that guy yeah um he was just telling me that you beat him out of the role of the
00:47:46
movie you're doing now and he also you also beat him out of Dave really happy for you Andrew [Laughter]
00:48:00
the only season the only reason that I got it over Josh and if you can hear me is that everybody knows everybody knows about his weird foot thing his like only
00:48:14
fans foot page and some of the producers are uncomfortable with that kind of behavior and that's that's a thing you
00:48:19
need to deal with and I hate to blow up his spot but you know he's a footy guy he's like a weird little footy guy and they don't like it sorry what does that have anything to do with the acting in
00:48:30
it Andrew what's Zac Efron like laughs huh what's Zac Efron like [Laughter] and is um John Cena gone
00:48:45
John John Cena's gone he got picked up he got picked up in like a in like an Autobot in like a Transformer and he [ __ ] took off it was awesome
00:48:57
he nodded he didn't even say goodbye he nodded and winked at everybody wow I'm here for God yeah Hollywood's great anyway um
00:49:09
bye bye man it's incredible see but did you did you feel the energy yeah right he did answer the phone a bit like a villain thank you and that's what I get every
00:49:22
[ __ ] time yeah it's never a good phone call ever any good movies you've seen movies did you see that everything everywhere all the time never stop what's it called
00:49:35
I don't like the way you said it okay you know um I watch the Jewish movies yeah
00:49:45
yeah right great what is first I've seen all his movies can you give us one fablements did you see the movie which one everything everyone won I did it what you haven't seen it I've
00:49:58
seen old boy did you see it yes it's so good it's so good is it what do you mean
00:50:05
um did you see to Leslie no two lezzies I saw it on PornHub what is it what two Lizzies I I don't think I've seen the
00:50:18
movie to Leslie yeah like I've seen Mark Baron's in it yeah he's so good oh yes movie is so good but it's just people
00:50:25
talking and feelings these are my kinds of movies sci-fi tell me tell me yeah you're right there is sci-fi elements to that movie but um
00:50:40
there's a lot of heart in it man a lot of feelings a lot of feelings a lot of heart and it's also
00:50:47
um what an original filmmaking and screenplay I mean everything about that movie is
00:50:53
um just it's an anomaly it's special yeah and it's one of those movies if you're in Hollywood you should watch it because those directors are the next big thing oh yeah yeah watch the [ __ ]
00:51:06
movie I will all right did you see squid games yeah why did you watch that I watched the first episode and I didn't get to the rest I know it's funny it's funny it's a
00:51:19
little it's funny it's really funny what you're doing right now tell me um I'm beginning to think that it's not
00:51:26
a Sci-Fi thing I'm beginning to think it's a [ __ ] Asian thing wow okay really go ahead no I think your your line of thinking is correct
00:51:38
right yeah yeah let me throw some Asian movies are you down your throat to see how
00:51:44
you've seen them so so white it's ready yeah yeah did you see um train to Busan no okay all right I'm just throwing some Asian movies your way pariah
00:51:56
never stop it's not even call Pariah no no Pariah what it's like parasite but it's all right do you did you make a mistake at first
00:52:08
no never all right yeah I thought you were talking I thought it was called Pariah I did
00:52:14
yeah yeah did you see a parasite yeah yeah okay do you like it yeah I liked it okay yeah um train to busan's a great anyone
00:52:21
listening traded Busan is a great zombie movie you like that genre um everything what have you ever seen
00:52:26
the show fauda how do you spell how do you spell it f-a-u-d-a what is it about it's about
00:52:33
the moshad it's about Jews kicking ass Palestine I saw that movie I saw the show I did okay tell me tell me a little something about it the show is set in Israel right no
00:52:47
what's your set Oklahoma City it's Israel of course it is yeah it's called fauda yeah and the guy who um is
00:53:00
the star kind of a I don't know that doesn't make I don't recognize the people on the screen now but um that guy
00:53:06
yeah yeah that guy is great any and um I swear to God I saw the show the first season what's distal another great Jewish show but but you're not gonna listen to me
00:53:17
okay okay here's the deal dude you guys have been [ __ ] Jews have been making movies since the history of Hollywood
00:53:23
okay and why and because you're great no I'm gonna give you the [ __ ] credit no no what you guys are creative because
00:53:29
they wouldn't let us in New York that's why we went West you wanted to be on Broadway that's fine that's what people
00:53:35
leave out because there's a lot of us here that's true I'm sure there was hardships it was born out of hardships
00:53:42
the tree Grew From a soil made of straw but I understand that but I think we should
00:53:48
appreciate the story appreciate the struggle I appreciate it but let me say something into the soil I love the soil
00:53:53
I love juice soil there you can create corn thank you right you can grow corn in it
00:53:58
sure so what my point is I've seen a lot of your [ __ ] from Israel also American made over the years in terms of Comedy you guys have run the Gambit on stand-up comedy damn it damn
00:54:13
it whatever you know what I'm saying when's the next main character Great Character though the best yeah
00:54:20
yeah how come they never made a great Gambit movie he was in one movie though but they didn't they want to make one
00:54:26
with him and they never did yeah I think Gambit was um he's from New Orleans right he's like the dopest [ __ ] he has
00:54:32
cards cards he has a staff and a big coat yeah yeah Gambit's the best dude whoa who would play that Santina
00:54:40
[Music] no no he's got it did that they're all red hair yeah you're right yeah can you imagine yeah is Gambit a good
00:54:52
guy or a bad guy good guy yeah yeah well does he's in the middle he starts out as a bad guy because in the Wolverine movie
00:54:58
they made him kind of in the middle but he helps out Wolverine flies him to that place right did you see that movie
00:55:05
[Laughter] what you never saw Wolverine okay well they have a minute yeah yeah and um he brings he brings him to the the military facility or whatever my point is they
00:55:17
have used them but um I don't know why I don't think he's that popular if you had to play a superhero
00:55:23
but they wanted you to get an insane shape like they gave you six months trainer diet Wolverine would you do it
00:55:30
Wolverine yeah they want you to play Wolverine hahaha I would let me say so I get a call from Fox because they own the rights to I
00:55:42
think more um X-Men we want you to play Wolverine I I would I'd first misunderstand them isn't it like a nature movie like you
00:55:54
want me to actually play a wolverine with a bunch of other maybe the Koreans or the animals the little groundhogs
00:56:00
right orange is it a voiceover thing because that's what it would sound like no yeah
00:56:08
dude right dead on right and um if I okay that's what I would do if I got a call to play Wolverine I would go out and live in the forest yeah with the
00:56:22
Wolverine so I can get I don't think Hugh Jackman did that no way he didn't live in the forest will
00:56:29
the world I would eat what they eat you're in you know I would do all that I would embody I would do that [ __ ]
00:56:36
um method [ __ ] yeah yeah right and I would show up straight from the forest living there to set right right so like
00:56:44
just I'm gonna look Wild but on your days off would you still go to like Parks barbecue but as a
00:56:49
wolverine yeah what Daniel David Lewis did for the [ __ ] game you know Gangs of New York yeah apparently he stayed that guy through the whole thing right even at
00:57:02
the hotel oh yeah yeah like um Liam Neeson apparently was like was at the hotel was like where's Daniel Lee Lewis because they know each other and when he went to he was working out he was and
00:57:12
but he was throwing knives he had set up this thing where he was throwing knives against this wooden plank yeah in the thing and he treated him like [ __ ] I
00:57:19
heard in between takes he would chop meat outside his trailer and blast them in him
00:57:25
right yeah so you better lose it so I would do all that I'd come back with like what do they eat insects yeah yeah yeah I'm gonna I would have a talk with the
00:57:39
director the way this is gonna play you know I know it's action I know it's serious but it's gonna get a lot of laughs even if I try my hardest and I
00:57:51
see the lines as dramatically as I can and grow my sideburns it's just gonna get a huge laugh wanna let's maybe practice okay maybe give you a line like yeah
00:58:03
yeah give me a line what's a line Wolverine would have like um I'll never let him take her I'll never let him take
00:58:10
her already I don't like it yeah can you not laugh you look like Steve you look like
00:58:16
your brother yeah but can you not laugh cute you give me a line right now and I'm gonna do it Josh yeah
00:58:22
I'm taking her away why who's her I don't know give you a completely random woman all right
00:58:34
I've finished the hypothesis [Laughter] yeah I'll just make up my eyes in a lab or something yeah magnetos in the facility yeah yeah
00:58:50
that's more right okay Magneto's in the facility that's my line yeah right so you go where's Magneto where where's Magneto
00:59:03
Magneto's in the facility okay Wolverine yeah Professor X just [ __ ] his wheelchair my God calm
00:59:10
cyclops he's gonna blast it with his eyes I'll do it again like that that's good yeah yeah it's really good
00:59:22
yeah yeah I I I yeah I think I wouldn't be Bruce Wayne that I would probably turn down you would not want to be Batman no I no one would buy it well what if you
00:59:35
were just Bruce Wayne and then somebody you have to change the last name and Josh played with Batman Bobby Bruce Wayne
00:59:41
I'm Bruce Wang and they changed the history of the guy or like costume Josh plays Batman in The
00:59:49
Costume oh [ __ ] so I don't know doing the grunt work either yeah right I don't do any of the physicalities but I'm I'm
00:59:55
the good writer who has to say yeah [Laughter] how about this yeah this is what I want you to do you're playing me okay but I'm Bruce Wayne but you're the Batman okay
01:00:09
right so you have to so I'm gonna my choice for this Batman because I'm Bruce Wayne is I have to do a little bit of
01:00:16
Asian accent so when you say you're Batman he's gonna do an impression to your mom and get it over here right I'm Bruce Wayne right no I'm not
01:00:38
doing that we just try I promise you we'll cut it off because you're going so well for me
01:00:43
you don't have to choose to choose do not choose do not all right cool I choose to not all right so I'm gonna do
01:00:50
the scene right this is like when all the comedians were saying the n-word in front of Chris Rock and you just let it
01:00:55
happen yeah it's wrong no I'm not gonna do a very thick one it's gonna be very slight and and because Batman speaks
01:01:03
because he doesn't speak like Bruce Wayne he's he always goes on Batman right right right right so I'm gonna
01:01:10
play it in regular voice and then you miss whatever you want to do you're the actor I'm not I know you're the actor
01:01:16
playing Bruce Wang as Batman this is where it all it falls apart it's not gonna fall apart two kids
01:01:23
all right do an English accent then all right let's see if that works sure I'll put it [Laughter] yes uh and now it's a female yeah yeah
01:01:35
it could change the whole thing yeah yes Mr Wang yes Mr Wang oh hello um thank you you make good omelette this morning thank you anyway
01:01:49
say it again happy blazed and Ivy yeah I'll be Robin and you say that what you just I don't know why you're so scared right
01:02:05
now you seem freaked out you could do whatever you want to do dude all right I'm gonna play this C down all right
01:02:11
Josh okay all right okay all right yeah do whatever you want to do all right so here we go thank you for Auburn I have to do the line again
01:02:22
downtown I'm Gonna Change to Batman I'll be right back right hello that works yeah yeah see that works yeah
01:02:35
yeah come on the Batman yeah yeah that [ __ ] works right right but you want to go her roll I know you did
01:02:43
I know you wanted to do it if you wore the suit would you let Bobby dub over the voice
01:02:49
oh [ __ ] so you I could just do your voice then you want me to I'll do that right so but can you mouth no yes I'll
01:02:58
get your voice your mouth I can't live sick gracious [ __ ] just try it I'll try it right so I'll be right back
01:03:09
Auburn right see I'm Batman ha guys I said it all right and Jess call me this wig let's talk I don't I don't
01:03:37
wanna because then if you don't answer it I love you I missed you when I was gone I don't believe you I do I love you I
01:03:44
feel like it's been a long time though I love you did you miss me I don't believe you know
01:03:52
what I'll be honest with you completely and frankly honest with you guys yeah I've been really lost last month I've
01:03:57
been really sad I feel empty for real yeah why don't you ever go hiking with me I think you would
01:04:03
like of course I don't just listen to what I'm saying shut the [ __ ] up I'm getting vulnerable
01:04:10
all right I want to [ __ ] hide shut the [ __ ] up I have no one [Laughter] um I love you so much everyone in this room uh you know when I was gone this last month
01:04:28
you know we were out in a town and you're not you're not in a big part of a show whatever and you have those days
01:04:33
off you just roam around the city it gets sad man oh it's the worst it's the worst you just feel empty and sad you're
01:04:39
walking around and people think that it's like a the high life no it's the low life it's the you know I had
01:04:46
diarrhea bro I had diarrhea so bad I had food poisoning so bad I I was shooting Sex in the City and then you know I rap late I
01:04:57
rushed to this restaurant ate a dinner I went home and for three days I didn't even wake up like I shot I took some of
01:05:04
my Imodium AD and I was sick for three days it was the worst three days of my life anyway I know I just shared that either yeah but it's been bad it was bad
01:05:12
it's good to see everybody and I love everybody here okay and Josh I want to say this too every time you and I are together it's
01:05:18
there's you always make me laugh I don't really laugh the way I laugh with you I love you I'm not being real thanks I
01:05:23
laugh with you I love you and I I want to be better friends with you man I look forward to it
01:05:28
um love you too and I love everyone I missed it thank you for being a bad friend thanks for your help today
01:05:34
[Music] I've been watching myself on podcasts and you know on clips and stuff and I feel like I'm so aggressive and Bully
01:05:46
like and I talk over people and also um and I I just want to change and I you know and I I was telling this to the guys when I came in or today I've had a spiritual awakening
01:06:00
um I realized that I'm gonna be single for the rest of my life and I'm okay with that I'm an incel fine but I'm done
01:06:08
I'm done all right and I'm gonna get a real doll I'm gonna go to San Marcos to the [ __ ]
01:06:15
can you guys set that up I want to go pick it out I'm going to lay down eight grand and that's my new girlfriend hot a
01:06:21
real doll right hopefully can you change the badges I think so I I don't know like if you and I had a sex doll company what would we do oh yeah non-stop variety endless choices what yeah you
01:06:33
have to that's part that's an easy one well look at look that's not what they look like right attractive yeah but let
01:06:39
me ask yourself oh my God will we do every skin color we'd have to yeah you do every skin color yellow
01:06:45
okay yeah will we do Avatar [ __ ] yeah you know there's like like alien [ __ ] yeah right you can pretty much do everything like a centaur no furry a furry yeah furry yeah yeah
01:06:58
yeah yeah but imagine a centaur with a you know a woman's body right and we make the [ __ ] horse bodies badge
01:07:05
really hairy butt tight all right Harry Potter can you say that on the line because I don't want to get
01:07:11
monetized right we're definitely not going to be monetized right and maybe when you stick it in it makes
01:07:17
how do horses sound oh you can make yours sound like anything that's true because of Technology yeah or maybe you just give the vibrato but to things men want to
01:07:28
hear like you're huge oh I never thought of that you're in my stomach yeah yeah yeah oh my God is there a button you press
01:07:38
yeah or maybe no it's motion activated you know where to find it it's in the bag where the [ __ ] is maybe
01:07:46
yeah okay I don't mean to be to crash do you ever find it crazy that men don't know where the clitoris is I know where it is it's so obvious I know exactly where it is it's me too yeah it's in the
01:07:58
butthole no it's another person no it's in the the clitoris is the little bump it's right there is that is it hidden no no
01:08:09
but what do you mean I think um a lot of guys don't even know what it is for so long so we have to give this joke alive guys don't know where it is so that they really study it
01:08:22
find it and know that it's a pleasure Source right yeah yeah are you being weird yeah it's wild it's wild yeah yeah men are dumb they're dumb
01:08:34
yeah yeah that's the pleasure Source yeah I see you and everything around it is dead yeah I mean if is that the Rave it looks
01:08:45
kind of dead yeah it looks dead yeah yeah yeah it's were you guys scared the first time you
01:08:51
saw a vagina scared no no I was crying I was so happy yeah relieved I I pray I looked at it to God and I said thank you yeah yeah it's the most beautiful thing in the world I still do that yeah so
01:09:05
long of not knowing what one looked like even having one and it looked in the mirror one day I changed my life what'd
01:09:13
you think what is your Grizzly it's like well it's just a lot more than I thought what do you mean there's like a lot of
01:09:19
stuff going on yeah maybe it's a Rubik's Cube or something is it a puzzle what's going on Windmill I don't know I just I thought it was like a a lot more simple
01:09:31
oh and then I looked in the mirror and I was like you know you go along you know it might have been 12 or 13. yeah that
01:09:38
many years can I ask a question and I just thought of this now and I'm gonna be real okay and this is not a dumb
01:09:44
question okay right you're right I know where the [ __ ] is right but is it the CL where the P comes out
01:09:53
is there like a little hole in the clip well because our head has the hole right
01:09:58
right now right it's sound reasonable it's not reasoning right so let me ask you something that's as the only female
01:10:05
in the room is that where the P comes out I don't really know [Music]