00:00:00
you two are bad friends who are these two idiots a white dude and an Asian
00:00:05
dude you two are disgusting you two or something we're
00:00:10
bad friends you know you know when you're on the road and I'm on the road yeah separately yeah there is a sadness
00:00:17
that occurs in my big time I call you I know you call me from the stage and I I said I yeah really miss you bad I know
00:00:24
but I had so much fun in Phoenix and they were chanting for you yeah and uh J how did Jesse do not good I know no she
00:00:30
did great oh I mean she's great I mean she she did so good I just agree with you she did so good cuz you're an honest
00:00:36
guy you know we had a great host it was great Jackie we had so much fun man Phoenix was incredible it's a nice club
00:00:42
it's a great Club then I go to Nashville dude this weekend yeah I got nothing I got nothing until
00:00:49
September but my point being is is that se aren't you doing aren't you doing the thing with sagur I'm doing Sakura and
00:00:57
ker oh wow dou doing that I'm doing that um um fat aooa
00:01:02
thing welcome back to Fat aooa how much can you eat drink and fart out yeah but
00:01:09
you know I I want to say that you know I believe that things happen for a reason and you run into people for a reason do
00:01:14
you agree or no yeah and like uh things are Kismet or meat cutes like a meat cute meat cute you think we met on a
00:01:21
meat cute oh yeah yeah I do yeah um was so funny I don't even what a meat cute
00:01:27
I've never heard of that meat cute meat cute cute mute mute I have an uncle Nam M yeah meute he does Nails he does Nails
00:01:35
yeah mute um you want jail I don't I I think that I know I think that you know it was just inevitable that we would
00:01:41
meet but in terms of like being you know partners for this project was meute it
00:01:49
was meute yeah and um anyway so yesterday Universal energies Universal energy so Sunday I was Mark Norman told
00:01:57
me to come down and do his podcast at the store hey come on down buy yeah and I came down Whitney was on a bunch of
00:02:02
people I met Joe list for the first time oh yeah he's the best gu all those dudes are great super funny I did good hey B
00:02:10
come down and I just kind of walked off sh you know how I do yeah you leave yeah yeah you know like Elvis Bobby has left
00:02:16
the building you think it's like Elvis whatever you think you're like Elvis cuz you cut your hair short now you're kind
00:02:21
of there it is I am you're Hunk of Burning Love No I don't mean I don't have his looks but I think I have his
00:02:27
energy you know you dude I like that laugh no no you do
00:02:34
yeah do I have Elvis's energy no okay Chinese Elvis Chinese
00:02:40
anyway we've done it but I was leaving yeah I was leaving and then I he dude I
00:02:47
hear hey dude is that Chinese Elvis no it's like yeah it's an Israeli kid oh he
00:02:53
goes hey dude hey dud I go what and I see this like At first I thought it was like um a sick Robert Smith from The
00:03:00
Cure oh yeah yeah yeah um just a little pale face pale face yeah yeah and I go
00:03:06
it was sunny too it was during the day MH and then I I looked at him and he go and I recognized him and I go I've seen
00:03:12
him online you know yeah and he goes I'm a big fan of you dud or whatever and I
00:03:18
is he deaf I don't know that's how he sounds to me yeah yeah and then um we had a little conversation on the patio
00:03:24
we exchanged numbers and now he's here you gave him your real number I did and here he is yeah say hi bud hey now I
00:03:31
talk yeah what's wrong with you what's going on what's going on I love you so
00:03:37
much dude you're so good is there's something about you you know you know can I say something about you dude yeah okay yeah yeah yeah there's a sadness
00:03:44
about you and an anger I was thinking more hate and anger more than sad I'm not a sad guy you're not a sad guy no oh
00:03:50
you're happy happy but angry we had an interesting conversation though you and I maton did we not very interesting yeah
00:03:56
was I nice a nice guy I'm a nice guy small
00:04:01
what do you mean cuz I thought you were going to be a little bit bigger yeah yeah well okay um but is it like
00:04:10
unnaturally small what do you mean oh like it's not natural how small you are I you am I dwarf
00:04:17
like um not not that being a dwarf being a dwarf is natural I think you're a little a little bit
00:04:23
taller just a just a just a little bit taller than you wouldn't categorize me if you were a doctor you you wouldn't be
00:04:29
like like I right above the the line great that means you know what that
00:04:35
means I can get on the rides cany oh they I have a lot of you guys at Universal
00:04:41
yeah they made a whole team park for you guys what's you guys mean oh you know what I mean but no no no I don't know
00:04:47
what you mean what do you no no no what do you Matan I know you're a kid all right so I I want to be gentle with you
00:04:53
yeah look at me right now look at me right now no don't do that Matan
00:05:02
are you talking about Harry Potter town is not Harry Potter oh Little Tokyo no the little minions oh
00:05:11
oh oh let me ask you cuz they're yellow now he's doing your
00:05:18
material I know oh he does that he says that joke before he says that joke before yeah I said it before so Matan
00:05:24
where are you from oh I'm from Los Angeles yeah oh yeah we're talking the
00:05:29
valley right baby oh yeah I was born in Cino and now you live in Tarzana no now I live Ino okay good yeah so still in
00:05:36
Ceno yeah you're a senior in high school is coming up yeah right now I'm the 11th grade I don't know which one that one's
00:05:42
called that's a junior a junior yeah yeah yeah but you're homeschooled no I went to school but now I'm just doing
00:05:47
online because you I had to leave why some problems with the teachers just
00:05:54
problems you had problems or they had problems I was well it was Mutual I guess yeah it does seem Mutual yeah
00:05:59
there's no way that's a oneway street yeah but you know what who needs school no I mean his podcast is I mean it's
00:06:05
it's popping a little bit I've seen it yeah it's popping a little bit you know you're very aggressive on your podcast
00:06:11
you yell at people no I'm not aggressive just you call Fat you go fat [ __ ] oh that was a producer yeah yeah yeah yeah
00:06:17
he's he died actually on the stairs he what he we fell down the stairs after
00:06:22
that you did we said it in the thing it was we had funeral for him you killing it Bud killing it kid you met Dan
00:06:28
Schneider oh almost I had one of his clients on wow wow so that's pretty good yeah yeah
00:06:36
maybe by transference you picked up some of that yeah how how do you feel about the liver King the liver King yeah um I
00:06:43
think he's Alpha yeah he is Alpha he's Alpha yeah it was high testosterone real
00:06:48
man oh are you real man you I know what you are what you're not Alpha no I'm
00:06:54
Alpha I'm a real man no no you're not how much do you weigh like maybe close
00:06:59
to 130 is my guess that's a real man right there real man because he's pure pure man pure brain and musle how old
00:07:07
are you I'm 17 right now I just turned 17 when yeah congrats what are your dream what are
00:07:14
your dreams your goals your real quick I I want I got you guys a gift all right go go yeah give me the
00:07:19
gift go give the gift how exciting this guy's oh wow wow is that
00:07:25
an M4 is that an m44 m44 68 vacuum
00:07:30
yeah it's a model I got you a gift as well oh [ __ ] thank you oh I this is my specific gift
00:07:37
oh yeah okay cool whoa whoa who's that signed by that's signed by me but it's a poster of the
00:07:44
beetle yeah wow that's a great signature I've always wanted one of these yeah w
00:07:49
we just do you know the 7-Eleven by the Basin Robins yeah yeah so I bought that
00:07:54
there it was 10 it was $10 $10 in sh was $2 yeah how
00:08:00
much was this I don't even I don't think I paid for that does it work I believe it makes a funny noise when you turn it
00:08:07
off you don't think it works no it works but it's like half broken well let's hear turn it on let's see it
00:08:14
works it's funny to watch Mone did you sign it though no I signed the be i'
00:08:19
prefer you to sign the vacuum as well you want me to sign the vacuum yeah please I can do it after but just don't sell it because it's going to unless you
00:08:26
can give me some of the money now where did you get it is this something that runs in the family or you guys no that's one of the you know how sometimes people
00:08:33
yeah no it sounds great dude it works yeah it's good yeah yeah it's good thank you so much you're welcome very happy
00:08:39
birthday yeah okay but you know honestly I thought it was broken I was kind of a little mad about it but if since it
00:08:44
works what a great gift a vacuum that works thank you clap clap clap clap clap
00:08:50
yeah wow pull your hair back like you just did again and hold it like that look no look at Bob no hold it hold your
00:08:56
hands on your head yeah yeah cuz you want my eyes to no no no hold your hair doing that we're not doing that pull your hair back and hold
00:09:02
it tight like that I love it what do you see and halfway yeah and halfway I see beautiful yeah beautiful
00:09:09
who little Isa Fisher in there little Isa Fisher in there gorgeous I mean dude it let me maton I mean I don't know if
00:09:15
this is this against because he's 17 I'm just saying that if you transitioned oh
00:09:21
no no oh cuz if you say it three times it'll happen you can't do that we've already said it twice
00:09:29
transition no that's two be careful cuz you might have to it would go pretty well for you I think if no no you have
00:09:35
good jawline no no I'm not not one of those you are a pretty girl yeah you are
00:09:40
a pretty girl you would be a pretty pretty girl you're a pretty boy but you're a pretty girl I don't want to talk about it because every time I get into that conversation people get M for
00:09:46
what I'm saying yeah we're not going to talk about it why don't we talk about it yeah talk about what what that you'd be a pretty girl yeah you're a pretty girl
00:09:52
you would be look at your little chin look at your little cheeks look at his cute cheeks yeah you have cute cheek the
00:09:58
can I the [ __ ] you I know oh oh the Jewish thing I know who I I know who you
00:10:04
look like what Jonah Arc little Joan little Joan little Joan of Arc she was Jewish
00:10:11
wasn't she that's the guy in the Bible yeah yeah Jonah's Ark look at that yeah yeah yeah there's there you are there
00:10:18
you are oh that really does look similar yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's pretty close yeah that's pretty cool she was a
00:10:23
warrior well now you know where you are for Halloween bud no but she she's not a real man that's why she has a lot of
00:10:28
hate in her heart Oh I thought you said you have Hate in Your Heart yeah but if you have hate in your heart but it's the wrong hate
00:10:34
you're not a real man so what's the real hate oh just hating oh no never mind no no no no no don't never mind it look at
00:10:42
me Matan look at me maton everything's fine I love you y
00:10:51
y oh he can't say that well I'm not going to say that what kind of alpha are you oh like a push-up Alpha are you the
00:10:56
guy that goes to the gym no no I don't go to the gym but just not like a strong Alpha that's a different one you can do
00:11:02
double but I know what what you're like Lex Luthor Lex Luthor yeah no I want to
00:11:08
be like Ben Shapiro right right I don't know if he would be considered Alpha yeah yeah yeah
00:11:15
no you don't think so I don't really I don't think but I but maybe oh I think you're more like Alex Jones oh yeah yeah
00:11:22
you like that guy I went on there a couple times I know I know we saw that's incredible it's incredible I was 12 but
00:11:29
how do people feel in high school about Bobby Lee like high school people think he's funny I never heard him right yeah
00:11:37
there's not much conversation yeah okay but didn't you I didn't you
00:11:46
didn't you go you came up oh no I know you but that's because I'm like in disp I only knew you after high school right
00:11:53
oh outside of high school yeah well no no not outside of high school I'm saying I knew you since I left oh since you
00:11:58
left okay okay okay how long has that been about a year a little over a year good okay good so anyway what I wanted
00:12:04
to ask you what I wanted to tell you is that we went through a a list of things and you know at the end of our
00:12:10
conversation we no no stop this is manipulated no no we surmise that you
00:12:17
were a full-blown Liberal oh no oh [ __ ] does that hurt your feelings because
00:12:22
it's n it's a true 100% true we can go over we can go no we don't have to go over it right now I'm just letting you
00:12:28
know that we I did a and you you don't subscribe to any Republican yes I do
00:12:34
like what I'm pron no you're not I'm anti-abortion you're not pron you're not
00:12:39
anti-abortion not you didn't say that because you didn't say that Sund let me tell you he didn't say that Sunday how
00:12:45
about how about I'll tell you what he said how about gay marriage no yep NOP where's your brother
00:12:52
well listen he doesn't go on camera it doesn't matter anyway he can defend I'm not just don't just just let him defend
00:12:58
himself listen because we were at that place and all I could tell that it was just a lot of other people like that
00:13:04
unfortunately so I didn't want to hurt any feeling so I was just trying to The Comedy Store yeah love you what I mean
00:13:10
but we were outside the LBG Q [ __ ] Mecca yeah me what are you talking about
00:13:16
so other principle like what what makes you more Republican you think what do you eat for breakfast
00:13:23
um two waffle and a chocolate milk sounds pretty liberal to me bud no yeah
00:13:29
a republican would eat eggs and steak Yeah that's dinner that's dinner time dinner what do you mean dinner
00:13:35
Republicans don't eat dinner dude we're out there plotting and scheming oh you're a republican come on man come on
00:13:42
bud you know what I mean yeah bud come on because I know you're a liberal you told this is a republican show this is a
00:13:47
hardcore repu show yeah yeah that's why you fit in great yeah should the government increase or decrease military
00:13:53
spending what do you think all the way up increase it I want it to go to like 5 trillion a year
00:13:59
we we're there all right should the us remain in the United Nations no no okay
00:14:04
should forign wait wait why oh we're doing a liberal test yeah yeah look at me right now why why what why do we get
00:14:10
out of the why should we U get out of the US um because that one is made United Nation like a real liberal he
00:14:16
doesn't know what the [ __ ] it even says yeah shut the [ __ ] up guys can we get that should we remain in the United Nations why why why no because the
00:14:23
United Nations made for the peace and all that but if we leave then we can start to maneuver on other countries that's right wow should foreign
00:14:29
terrorism suspects be given constitutional rights no lock them up throw away the key right kill them right away kill them right away straight away
00:14:35
are you fan of Guantanamo which one is that yeah yeah it's over there by enino oh you see Ino
00:14:42
it goes Tarzana enino Guantanamo yeah maybe I've been over there on accident maybe I pass Buy on the way yeah there's
00:14:48
a really good coffee bean there oh it is so good yeah it's it's like that the first one I think how many white BMWs
00:14:53
are in your driveway right now oh no I'm not Armenian but there's a lot close by
00:14:59
great question dude thank you dude great question dude should welfare recipients be welfare recipients be tested for
00:15:04
drugs oh yeah yeah why do you want to find out that they're on drugs because I want to go I wanted to tell me I'm a
00:15:10
republican right that's good okay you're like uh Middle Eastern Trump should the
00:15:15
should the technology of our financial system transition to a decentralized protocol that's not owned or controlled by any Corporation similar to the
00:15:21
internet don't understand other St that's yeah I figured that after should the US raise taxes on the rich uh no I
00:15:28
wanted to go down way down only for the rich though no but the rich they worked for their money that's why Wow right wow
00:15:35
wow wow I have a lot of money I don't want to be taxed should the government continue to fund Planned Parenthood no
00:15:41
no right you want to shut it down wow I want to put him in jail all right oh oh God what's your stance on abortion we
00:15:47
already know that you're Pro you're pro life I already said ear okay can can I stop stop for a second okay may I stop
00:15:52
for a second Sunday he said I go game arage he goes
00:15:58
yeah no that's a lie that's not true now look at me right now dude didn't happen
00:16:03
mat look at me right now so one of you guys is lying it it seems like yeah I number two I go I I asked you about um
00:16:09
The Border I like mexic he goes I like Mexicans no I didn't yeah you did I said
00:16:14
you said I like Mexican did you not say you like Mexican I said we needed more white babies okay no you didn't no you
00:16:20
didn't I did no you didn't no you didn't right and then I does have a point I asked you about guns right I said I want
00:16:25
an automatic no you go I said I want automatic this is what he said can I just may talk now I love you dude thanks
00:16:31
for coming look at me he making me angry because on my name this is what he said
00:16:36
okay he goes well you know lot of these school shootings are with you know I mean AK-47 so we should get rid of those
00:16:42
oh you want to know what my you not to interrupt you but I have a solution for that without taking away the guns what
00:16:48
do you think a school shooter is able with the gun whatever it doesn't matter what gun let's say he has a automatic it
00:16:53
doesn't even matter do you think he can take down one guard like police dog
00:17:00
listen but can he do wait wait wait stop can he shoot a dog I didn't even understand one one of those School guys
00:17:06
versus one trained dog can you take him down yes or no well with a gun yeah okay what about five yeah 10 uh a little
00:17:14
closer now right yeah 10 is getting a little shaky okay what about 100 100 no chance okay so what if we do a 100 of
00:17:20
those dogs per classroom per School 100 dogs per classroom school so you're talking about what are we talking each
00:17:26
in a classroom in in a in a school you're talking in 40 classrooms yeah somewhere like that like
00:17:32
well let's Double Down how about some Lions well they're not I don't think there's enough they're not trained or
00:17:37
legal he's proposing something legal oh my bad guard dogs for each student in the school and then every this is the
00:17:43
problem dude feeding those dogs is cost a lot of money that's their issue but
00:17:49
what we need to do they're going to be know to they're going to know to attack when there's a loud noise they're going to just start going crazy and get
00:17:55
whoever they can get so they're just going to eat the kids as well no no just whoever so you're going to lose some of
00:18:01
the kids it's possible today's episode is sponsored by manscape fellas blink if you haven't
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purchased a Father's Day gift yet I have and my dad's dead yeah okay today's
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manscaped okay you guys you guys know I'm a swimmer and you know and you know I compete a lot and you know and also
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you know pubic hair and hair is on your body it it it affects your time right so
00:18:56
I shave my pubes cuz I want to be Champion I want to get the bronze and the um the Special Olympics yeah and I
00:19:03
really do I think I can get it right and so I've been shaving my pubes and the the only thing that I shave my pubes
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they're the bad kind in case you need a quick refresher we are the guys behind those Sleek metal posters that hang in
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automatically or simply use bad friends at checkout okay I thought you were gay oh oh yeah right and you were like look
00:20:52
I picked the blue chair not pink smart that's smart he asked me that that other Asian guy asked me he said do you want
00:20:58
to sit in the blue chair or the pink I said blue cuz does your family play chess in the [ __ ] Park in Griffith Park where like what Asian what other
00:21:05
Asian what Asian that guy ask that guy's that guy's Mexican you think that guy's Asian yeah
00:21:11
that guy's Mexican that guy's Mexican no he's not yeah he's from Mexico City I don't believe that well I've I've he's
00:21:16
been my friend for 30 years hola that see that was that didn't sound real well no he's a gay Mexican they always little
00:21:24
sound I know that's double down for you you ask him to move a little back making uncomfortable you mve back to
00:21:30
Mexico but that would be preferable but fortunately what do you think Juan Juan
00:21:36
uh no no okay that's fine John I mean the amount the amount of
00:21:42
weed that he must have smoked today do you smoke a lot of weed a little yeah yeah yeah a little a
00:21:49
lot okay well fine guy you do what you do we're just a
00:21:56
fan of yours
00:22:02
they don't have water at home school do you know how to work that yeah I got it open it just took me a second okay we'll
00:22:08
take a drink out of it oh no no we'd love to see you drink but I don't what if you guys put something in it because
00:22:14
you just said something funny you just cracked the seal you just saw the seal crack open I just want to make sure you're not a narc okay I'll take a sip
00:22:20
take a sip take a sip don't hide it don't hide
00:22:26
it oh T really good did he have a sip yeah I I think he
00:22:33
got a little it looked like he had oh yeah look I really took a sip yeah that's a good bit
00:22:39
dude you have pained Nails yeah and you saw that Sunday and you and you complimented Sunday you're you're just
00:22:45
no you're compliment go go [ __ ] go [ __ ] yourself Hey kid go [ __ ] yourself you know look at the YouTube go back to my YouTube and go down look I want to show
00:22:52
you that I'm not kidding around about that that's that's horrible about what's horrible painted nails I kicked somebody
00:22:57
out of my PO cast for that but he was a little more feminine than you that's why mhm here go down a little bit yeah there
00:23:06
he is look the one with the fire uh-huh you see yeah I got him
00:23:12
out why because he painted his nails okay and what is that that oh he was painting his nails while he was shooting
00:23:19
no I just realized in the middle of the podcast he painted his nails I told him to leave okay yeah because it was it's
00:23:24
feminine because it's B yeah it's all right so tell I'm doing it are you getting rid of it
00:23:30
no I'm I'm paying it and what would you say oh if I saw this no let's act oh
00:23:36
hypothetic do you see me painting my nails actually no this is a [ __ ] bit okay let me try
00:23:51
do you calling the cops yeah I was trying to get to the number but it's not illegal anymore man it's notal illegal
00:23:58
yeah yeah not anymore no what would you I want you to yell at me no I would I wouldn't confront you myself I would
00:24:03
take a picture of you or something and then I would have somebody find you later that day can we do a version of
00:24:08
this WAOW W can we do a version of this where you do yell what would you have somebody find him and do like have nail
00:24:14
pit polish off touch him a little bit just like not a happy touch just say hello to him say just make sure
00:24:21
everything's okay with him yeah yo God man those Israeli soldiers are
00:24:27
wild they're Wild I know they're wild no don't associate me with that stuff oh that's right sorry about that that's
00:24:33
what you said Sunday but anyway um no no no yeah yeah yeah you you what did I say on Sunday about that yeah you love
00:24:38
Israel yeah that's not what I said yeah you you
00:24:43
you told me you did no you told me you love Israel I said I I did not say that I said I I said no I I told you that I I
00:24:51
said Hey listen I said I'm not am I speaking something I'm speaking in Tong right now
00:24:58
you're telling me that I'm not koser youer you're telling me I'm not you are not I'm not I'm Haram har oh so I'm
00:25:05
saying you're bad I'm bad you're bad well you don't even know I realize what you're saying hadam a real word yeah in
00:25:10
Arabic [ __ ] yeah see yeah good I speak in tongues bro you're good with Arabic you've always been good wait wait wait
00:25:16
wait forbid forbidden Haram means it's forbidden or I'm trying to transfer my
00:25:21
speaking tongue he's not doing [Laughter] it Habibi very good B Habibi Habibi
00:25:31
Habibi means my love habibi mean my love no but listen I'm no longer Israeli I'm a Bor I'm a born again Armenian just so
00:25:38
you know God bless you telling me Sunday about like you're saving yourself until you get married oh yeah yeah that's nice
00:25:44
it'll be a wild old school it'll be wild you think huh you'll be a wild huh it's
00:25:49
possible yeah so you've never had a girlfriend no okay have you ever had girls that are
00:25:55
friends no no not really I try to stay away from them M right well that would make it tougher to have a girlfriend
00:26:00
then too yeah oh another thing you were saying what's your idea of a perfect date if you going to take a girl out on a date yeah romantic date no no no just
00:26:07
platonic date with platonic date with a woman I wouldn't do it platonic date so give me time give me the Romantic one um
00:26:15
um I don't know I never thought about I'm trying okay here mat like Buffalo Wild Wings mat check this out all right
00:26:22
I know you don't like to play in a scenario yeah I know but we're going to do it right now okay okay so I I'm just
00:26:28
curious to see how you would pick up on a girl so let's suppose you're at the Glendale mall galleria Glend you love it
00:26:35
there right with a lot of my people new new people are over there yeah yeah right and so I'm over at the
00:26:41
Sephora you see me I'm just play scenario and I'm like I'm I'm getting
00:26:47
makeup right and you think and you want are you a man or a woman I'm a woman dude I'm a beautiful woman dude look at
00:26:52
him hi see hi what are you doing so he gets nervous
00:26:59
so I want you to act see what you would say okay are you ready beautiful woman beautiful woman okay so now Bobby Lee no
00:27:05
no I'm Lucy Lou oh no I wouldn't go up SRA o this just sound like Asian people I'm
00:27:12
sorry yeah oh you don't like Asians um all right man Olivia man yeah
00:27:17
she's happy I I don't know just give it it doesn't matter I won't go Margo Robbie look at Margo Robie whatever sure are I'm I'm Mar Robie is that how she
00:27:26
sounds yeah I don't know pretty accurate pretty accurate right hey this is go ahead let see what you would say oh I'm
00:27:33
trying to what am I doing you're trying to ask me out on a [ __ ] date man I don't wouldn't ask Bobby no you're
00:27:40
no I'm Margot Robbie in the scene oh so there's Margot Robbie there I am so why
00:27:46
are you the Margot Robbie because I'm acting but why not him or the other Asian guy no because they're not on the
00:27:52
show Matan just do it or just interact with your hypothetical yeah yeah hypothetical
00:27:58
this is I'm myab but what am I trying to do ask me on a date do I know that it's a
00:28:05
celebrity or no yeah you know who she is also but um okay let me think cuz then
00:28:10
I'm going to approach it differently okay good good don't think too much to just just uh Instinct hello what's your
00:28:16
name it's a good start very good start you can't this I'm trying I'm Margo I'm Margo I'm margar Robbie oh the
00:28:25
celebrity whoow whoow what the [ __ ] that was crazy what are you doing sir I think
00:28:31
maybe he had a muscle twist yeah yeah sir what was that why are you covering your face what's wrong with you well
00:28:37
he's embarrassed about how he just act yeah yeah yeah okay I'll see you my eyes hurt a
00:28:43
little bit okay I mean that's what love feels like Bud no you that you missed the point of what I did you wouldn't be
00:28:49
talking anymore elbow oh let's get over again I didn't know all right okay hello
00:28:54
what's your name Margo
00:29:00
whoa whoa dude well yeah maybe oh wow what are you doing dragging your legs
00:29:07
yeah he's going to cry it's emotional are you crying yeah I fed really bad all
00:29:12
right water water break water some more that water on your jacket you know maybe you and I should talk for a bit let him
00:29:19
yeah well we can let's have him plug something and we can he's here to plug something right no oh I'm doing a promo
00:29:26
yeah oh yeah I'm sponsored these podcast do your promo yeah do it I'm not I don't
00:29:32
have a sponsor though I think you do I have a sponsorship no listen how you
00:29:37
just broke the table no how the [ __ ] do you make did I really no yeah it's been broken yeah how the [ __ ] are you making
00:29:45
money off of YouTube um no I sell a course I guess that would be my promo
00:29:50
you can buy my course I'm going to teach you a lot of stuff how to get girls make money okay teach you all different stuff
00:29:56
okay good yeah well those who can't you can make a lot of money with
00:30:03
my course oh you can but but you don't make a lot of money but other people can if they if they go to your course really
00:30:09
it's only me you're the only one yeah that's signing up for your own course no
00:30:15
I'm the only they're not making money they're not making any okay so you make all the money from them no because how
00:30:20
much does it cost to join the course because I'm telling them you can't hear the mic right no we can't hear telling
00:30:27
them that if they the course they're going to make money and then the course tells them that they need to start a course with my affiliate link right yeah
00:30:34
how much oh that's a genius to join it cost you like1 $100 oh anybody can join
00:30:40
my course for $100 but also but also can I just say something yeah they can't hear me okay okay they can't hear you no
00:30:46
they can't hear you all right so what I'm saying is just you know Sunday when we're talking you're liberal right no
00:30:52
I'm not a liberal anyway anyway um so what I was going to say is that you know
00:30:58
you tell them to to teach a course but you get 10% of what they do right so it's a pyramid oh no well yeah actually
00:31:05
that's the way to make money oh no but not a pyramid I I I let them start other
00:31:11
courses I know but you the mic I know okay but but what I'm saying is is that
00:31:16
you still when they're teaching other courses you just get a percentage of their course not 10% more than that well
00:31:22
25% whatever it is 20 what what am I okay 30% 30% that's fair 80 that's
00:31:28
insane but that's what I'm charging them okay go back take your mic off now so everyone can hear you I think I'm going
00:31:34
to get out of here why I was just thinking about tomorrow yeah yeah yeah what's going on
00:31:39
tomorrow I want to know about the course oh you want to know about my course I want to know about the course what about it that's smart yeah as a Salesman
00:31:47
that's smart you make me dig to find out I like that try selling you the course yeah sell me the course um how much
00:31:53
money do you make I make $22,000 a year $22,000 a year are we interacting with
00:31:59
you or you as just a random person either way man take the ball and run with it I make $22,000 a year oh that's
00:32:05
not a lot of money how are you affording rent well I mean I'm barely getting by but my my my wife makes a pretty fair
00:32:11
amount of money and she does also the wife is making more money than you you're a beta and if you don't want to be a beta then I'm going to help you but
00:32:17
if you want to continue with the wife excuse me I'm his wife yeah that's really I'm not going to speak I'm not
00:32:23
going to speak to wom don't put your hand in front of my face okay thank you I'm not listening to women about business so wow w w wow whoa take your [ __ ]
00:32:33
I'm a [ __ ] judge hold on hey babe I'm a judge babe babe babe bab bab conratulations babe all right babe you
00:32:40
stop doing that too well it's kind of helping so listen how do we get I how do I make enough money to
00:32:47
leave this [ __ ] [ __ ] uh but you need to join my money to leave this I'm going to I'm going to teach you multiple
00:32:55
different ways I going to teach you crypto trading we already do crypto we do cryp hey you [ __ ] kid [ __ ] we do
00:33:02
bab where'd you go baby where did he go where did he where did he go baby love yeah he's not he's he's not he's gone
00:33:09
he's gone okay that's why you're not oh there he is oh that's why you're not making any money to crypto because your wife is involved so I got to get her out
00:33:15
of my life is she telling you which ones to buy and sell she always has yeah oh that's why you're losing because it's a
00:33:20
woman doesn't know when it's going to go up and down the man the man knows only men can know that kind of stuff only
00:33:26
only Alpha men and you're right now a beta so you would lose money anyways but okay can I just say something right now
00:33:31
I I can still see you with your hand in front I can't see you okay I'm going to to let you know uh so anyway I own our
00:33:37
house right honey oh honey do I own our house yeah she does yeah our house is $12.5 million in Beverly Hills okay and
00:33:44
this guy makes 20,000 a month yeah right but he's got but he's got a great dick
00:33:49
okay and I like to [ __ ] his dick thank you baby yeah you're welcome all right do you think I just want to say this at least you live at home with your parents
00:33:56
no I live in a you don't you do you live at home with your parents with your brother no $ 12.6 million mansion in
00:34:02
Beverly Hill oh it's bigger than mine by by the point what's the address the
00:34:08
address yeah what's the address what's the address uh well you go there every day you must Hugh oh that's the address
00:34:14
oh well I'm not going to give you my address the specific I don't want to what if we just
00:34:19
want to send you like a card in the mail yeah but I don't want to woman involved with the male that's going to end really
00:34:24
bad yeah yeah women shouldn't touch male I've said that for years insane no I've said what you're saying is insane what
00:34:30
I'm saying is insane yeah yeah yeah no it's because I'm writing do you love your mother yeah but she doesn't get involved with business do you do you
00:34:36
love your mother yeah you respect her yeah respect women if they not the
00:34:42
place she she doesn't get involved with the business in the house right right what about outside the house what do you
00:34:49
mean what she's not going to go outside the house to do business is she allowed outside of the house well that's not up to me who's it up to no that's up no no
00:34:58
no not God God God no because she's in jail right now but regardless God is in [ __ ] jail no no my mother is in jail
00:35:06
right now what did she do really yeah what did she do so that would be up to the police what did she do what' she do
00:35:13
yeah I don't think I can say it am I allowed yeah you are cuz it was a really nasty felony why don't you take a look at one
00:35:19
of your attorneys up there they might tell you if you're allowed to say it yeah you're good man there you go they allowed yeah yeah you're good okay well
00:35:25
she was going to give me a car she tried to steal it no I mentioned it earlier she I had my body G to give me a car so
00:35:31
I can learn to drive Unfortunately they got her Grand Theft Auto no no no Grand
00:35:37
Theft Auto they just that's what they claimed but she didn't do it yeah I know how did she get the car then well she
00:35:43
was in it for a little and then they I mean why going like 105 on the on the freeway that's why I didn't want her to
00:35:50
drive in the first place how big is the bed that you sleep in is it a twin I bet you it's a single it's not it's not a
00:35:56
king it's a single single yeah like a one of those race car beds who tucks your sheets your mom tuck your sheets at
00:36:01
night she's in jail no she's not she's not cuz you talked to how much you love your mother yeah I think you love your
00:36:07
mommy and I love your father you love your mommy and your you do and I bet you money she does her your laundry and she
00:36:13
she makes her bed used and you come home and you know and when you come but you're describing every every night
00:36:20
you're describing a woman's role in the household see you were doing it subconsciously I caught you there you said you love your mother she does the
00:36:25
laundry and the dishes and talks you in the bed so you just described what a woman's supposed to do he just got me dude he got you good oh [ __ ] dude you
00:36:33
you deep down are able to become Alpha but you are oh I'm not Alpha no right
00:36:38
now if you what am I what would you could describe me as beta yeah beta you think I'm a [ __ ] yeah basically yeah
00:36:47
it's unfortunate you had potential you had a 17-year-old call you
00:36:52
a little [ __ ] no I didn't I'll be honest with you no and it [ __ ] Mak me so angry
00:36:58
it makes me [ __ ] this doesn't do no it doesn't do anything yeah I think we figured that out I'm drinking yeah yeah
00:37:04
no I took a sip he and I'm watching hey hey dude you're a [ __ ] too whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa but that doesn't mean
00:37:09
anything yeah that's true why cuz I'm a beta saying it yeah okay and Alpha calls
00:37:15
you a [ __ ] then it hurts huh oh if well they won't do it why is that because
00:37:20
they know not to say to a different alpha alpha can't Al can't do that to another Alpha have mutual respect for
00:37:25
listen kid in a physical confrontation you and I do you think you be in a fight yeah that's just that's false
00:37:33
you're false don't these guys all know Krav Maga oh yeah they do No what's no
00:37:39
no that one is for those [ __ ] Israeli people but there's there's a new one I'm learning what's it called I I forget
00:37:45
that's how I'm trying to think Jujitsu no not jiujitsu huh really funny
00:37:52
thanks dude JJ is funny dude thanks man yeah anyway um okay you want to wrestle
00:38:00
Bobby was a [ __ ] State wrestler I don't want to touch him oh what's your favorite meal uh a raw
00:38:09
piece of cow a piss of cow raw piece like a raw slab of the meat a raw cut of
00:38:16
steak Yeah Yeah Yeah like a Carpio situation was thinly sliced no no tartar
00:38:24
no just a one like this like that one like a own steak yeah this a guy that's never probably eaten a steak when you
00:38:30
describe steaks like this you mean it's like somebody it's a square yeah yeah you get a square of [ __ ] cow meat and
00:38:36
you eat that yeah because it doesn't they cut it so it can cook correctly but if it's raw it doesn't matter so it's a perfect square oh yeah
00:38:44
they well they cut it to look nice what cut of the meat you know what I I know what you eat let me guess peanut butter
00:38:50
for sure no I'm allergic I'm done really oh only what beta would be allergic to peanut butter that's a beta move are you
00:38:57
allergic or not are you beta or not wao well for one better get him some of that peanut butter make him eat it in front
00:39:02
of us to prove it right now there's peanut butter over there make him [ __ ] eat it yeah I want to prove that you're you love I bet you love macaroni
00:39:08
and cheese it's not bad okay go over there and go get one of those and then you like jelly there's cashews over
00:39:15
there go get them you sing I like peanut butter sandwich yeah but what is the macaroni have to do with that I know I'm
00:39:20
just a separate thing so you peanut butter and jelly sandwich and probably cheesy macaroni you love it oo you like
00:39:25
cheesy mac I don't like the way he did that yeah yeah yeah come here are you allergic to peanuts you're allergic to
00:39:31
nuts no I all eat some this is to prove if you're an alpha if you're [ __ ] that's is cashew same thing dude yeah yeah open
00:39:38
up oh an alpha would have caught it that's ner that makes me nervous come on
00:39:44
you tried to throw it over there no okay put it in your mouth you want me to eat it you have to oh oh wow you know how to
00:39:52
realize no you should be a magician oh Magic you're good at slide of hand yeah like I didn't know where that cashew
00:39:58
went you don't know where it went yeah yeah what dude Shin Lim move over what
00:40:06
the [ __ ] that's magic dude okay show me the peanut or the cashew and then make
00:40:11
it disappear go move over sh over wow move over shind
00:40:19
limit Shindler yeah it's Shindler yeah so let's let's plug your
00:40:27
podcast my podcast yeah
00:40:32
okay do you want me to do it or you to do it I think I think you should do it yeah I don't know anything about I
00:40:37
literally don't have anything okay please your guys not even subscribed on the TV no but oh there we go unsubscribe
00:40:45
yeah so please guys unscribe I guess the people watching I do my own thing and we look our last guest I don't know when
00:40:51
this will released he was a homeless guy on crack uhhuh that was the last guest
00:40:56
um so yeah hopefully in future I can get some better guests and please take a look at it it's going it's a great part
00:41:02
let before you go though can I ask you another question because he has we were talking about Sunday you said you had interest in doing standup yeah I've
00:41:08
never done it cuz they don't let me I'm 17 I know because he I met him at The Comedy Store he was just kind of wandering around there yeah you know
00:41:14
what I mean your liter was just kind of hovering around go I was going to try to get in that's why yeah yeah you remember that not my brother you remember the
00:41:21
other guy had with me yeah he went in the kitchen I swear I he literally he
00:41:26
went in the kitchen he do he he reported back whether or not we could get inside through the kitchen yeah yeah yeah I mean you can you can do do it through
00:41:33
there it doesn't work it doesn't work he said there was an entrance through there there's no entrance through there yeah
00:41:38
you'd have to go through the manager's office I don't know I don't know I never went in anyway so you you thinking about
00:41:44
doing it yeah okay good when are you going to start I don't know I'm I wanted to call the people I want to see if any
00:41:49
of them give us a bit right now oh you want me to do stand up yeah oh [ __ ] you that's on the spot
00:41:55
though is there a topic or what is it I'm just bringing you out hey guys welcome to chuckle Chuckles huh love
00:42:01
this [ __ ] place yeah dude you're in a mood today yeah
00:42:07
yeah yeah you're tired I'm not tired okay hey welcome to chuckle CH I'm Alfrey Smith hey everybody boom bang
00:42:14
bang bing bing bang bang what's up anyway that's a good comment yeah yeah hey oh he's got a claw yeah ding ding
00:42:22
ding ding what do you think and they compete I would leave they eating you're
00:42:29
backstage I got to warm up the crowd dude oh so I'm not I don't hear this yeah you're backstage are going oh my
00:42:35
God I can I follow this you're nervous you're nervous you're like this guy's crushing oh right
00:42:42
okay anyway yeah what is up with putting the trays down on the airplane what is that about yeah what is
00:42:48
it about it's like hey if it crashes we're all going to die anyway you know and then it's like the
00:42:54
emergency I can do it yeah anyway look at the
00:42:59
tiger anyway next comic com to the stage wow he's from uh Glendale yeah yeah he's
00:43:05
Armenian I think yep Matan give him a round of applause everybody hey guys what's going on hey
00:43:13
let's do some crowd work Hey sir what's your name is that your I don't know I'm
00:43:19
going to imagine I'm talking to them right hey you're white but your girlfriend is black what's up with that
00:43:24
hey look take a look at him let's do some crowd work that guy's Asian out hey let's I think we've had enough
00:43:32
crowd work let's make some jokes hey all right let's do some crowd work what's up
00:43:37
with your girlfriend man yeah is that still the same black eye black girlfriend black eye yeah yeah I'm
00:43:43
targeting him a little I get oh it's great great I love when you target yeah hey well yeah that's we don't allow that
00:43:50
type of intercial in here just like that guy over there so you might need to leave the what was the place called
00:43:57
chuckle chuckle chuckle chuckle you might need to leave the the building so Asian guy's gone and the white girl with the black gu's gone too yeah they just
00:44:03
left no no white white man with the black girl and Asians out less likely but yeah I get it okay oh that one's not
00:44:10
as likely yeah I know what you're saying but
00:44:15
yeah keep going I love it we're in the crowd too man yeah yeah we're yeah okay let me sink let me hey you suck hey let
00:44:22
me think I'm coming up with something yeah this guy [ __ ] sucks hey hold on I'm trying to hey man we want our
00:44:29
[ __ ] money back dude tell a joke [ __ ] where's Long yeah here all right here we go so um oh I you I have a crazy
00:44:38
story you guys want to hear my crazy story it was 1990 better than the racism
00:44:44
no no don't call me racist but listen this is my this is the story it's
00:44:49
unbelievable story it's 1993 I in class in college or whatever
00:44:54
and I I don't want to go to class but the teacher says please you have to or I can't teach the class what are you
00:45:00
laughing at just CU yeah one second one second I need to remember the story oh he's got to reset reset start from the
00:45:07
top start from the top you want me to restart it this happens to all the best comments you're good all right so sorry about that I forgot the story so I'm in
00:45:14
Spanish class the teacher said hey make sure to come to class but I don't want to go and anyways let's skip a little
00:45:20
forward it results in me taking Russian classes I'm do Russian one Russian two Russian three now it's Russian four
00:45:26
we're going to Russia okay we get off the training this is back when Russia was owned by the mob it's run by the mob
00:45:32
so the teacher says Hey so these are your two security guards here I forget the names and one of they like iigo or
00:45:39
something right so then they said don't get near them they don't want to talk to you and then after we're at like the
00:45:45
hotel or something and I leave my room they said don't get near them but I knocked on the door and then he open and
00:45:51
he said something Russ I and I didn't know what to do I'm getting nervous like I'm the machine right and then they he liked it
00:45:58
and he let me in okay and so we started drinking with him and he tells all the Russian people he tells them I'm the
00:46:04
machine right so I'm drinking vodka with my friends the new Russian friends and
00:46:09
then from there I don't know I'm trying to think he told everybody to leave me alone so I'm the one running it with
00:46:15
them right I'm hanging out with the two mobster guys who's running Russia now and then on our way to Moscow I'm
00:46:22
sitting in the back the two Russians come and get me they say sit in the first class with us yeah there a crowd works better no no this story gets
00:46:29
better I love this story my bad my bad let him tell this is a great story I've
00:46:35
heard this before no you haven't it's brand new no I thought you've told me this story before Oh I said the story
00:46:41
probably a lot of times yeah a bunch I'm going to keep telling it what happens on the train oh on the train the teacher
00:46:49
comes to the front and then my friend ior he spits [ __ ] vodka in our eyes wow isn't that crazy why would he do
00:46:55
that it's unbelievable and guess what and then after we rob it is pretty unbelievable it's not believable at all
00:47:02
at all but it's real okay so then what happened so then I'm thinking we robbed
00:47:07
the little train cart you're wan to rob the train well no they told me hey take some vka take some money and then I
00:47:13
realized I'm the only one I'm stealing from it wow wow right what ends up
00:47:19
happening anyway so then so then the teacher here's the best part so then the teacher um let's laugh no no it's going
00:47:26
to get back so then the teacher says I call the police on you guys and then we steal all
00:47:31
the rest of the stuff at night and then and then hey hey hey hold on okay hey hey see this I'm going to I'm at a
00:47:37
comedy club Don't Tell Me When To Laugh I'm listen to the on you all right see you get spit on do that kind of stuff
00:47:43
[ __ ] [ __ ] all right sorry [ __ ] sorry I thought it was a com I paid good money to be in here just spit on my face well
00:47:49
then go outside all right sorry yeah okay so anyways okay so anyways the the trend stops the police are outside so I I get
00:47:57
out of the trog I inan the Train the the trog trog yeah what no trog is the front
00:48:02
of the train called the trog truck truck truck there's a truck on the train truck oh a truck yeah oh
00:48:09
the middle car no hey hey guy I don't think what the [ __ ] is this let him tell
00:48:14
the joke oh yeah I just I just I did it's a trog everyone knows it's a trog anyway we're done after we walk out of
00:48:20
the truck I mean the train yeah the truck dude okay so then the so then the police are there and then the police
00:48:27
they taken statements from the teacher and all the students right and then and
00:48:33
then we party with the police cuz my igore told them I'm the machine whoa
00:48:39
wow you know most Comics won't clap after their own [ __ ] but I [ __ ] love that a great story yeah that's a great
00:48:46
story was that in B's movie who's that what do you mean what's it with the machine
00:48:53
Manan I don't get don't look at me like I'm what's going on you're the odd man out
00:48:59
here I know tell well explain I'm the machine what's that ah you got it trogs okay Yeah Yeahs
00:49:07
trogs I was waiting for you to get the trogs part that was probably the thickest part yeah you believe in
00:49:15
God yeah I do you do yeah I was going to say because I know you have a history with that history with my relationship
00:49:21
with God my personal relationship with God no your your history with that conversation we believe in God that's
00:49:27
good to know yeah do you believe in god oh yeah what do you think he he thinks about you oh I think he loves me I'm
00:49:34
I've been getting close with him recently are you a Jesus guy yeah me and George jenko you love Jesus yeah what's
00:49:41
your favorite thing that Jesus did my favorite story is the Book of Job oh tell explain I don't know it honestly I
00:49:48
don't I've heard about job I heard it's a great book great book right you know Genesis was great you know what I mean
00:49:53
but I tried to get it on audio but know anything about job so just in a nutshell I think it proves God is real
00:50:00
in a nutshell explain me the story of Job okay so God and Satan they're talking and then Satan tells like on a
00:50:08
phone no in heaven yeah on a phone oh so sometimes Satan goes up there I think he used to be an angel or something I'm
00:50:13
trying I'm getting more knowledgeable on it Satan Satan was an angel oh I know that but I think I don't think during job they were still hanging up in
00:50:20
regardless they were speaking somewhere well I'm sure they were like like in line somewhere together and they ran into each other must happen there's a
00:50:26
Starbucks what are you talking about there's a Pete's Coffee oh Pete's Coffee up there okay so that Pete's Coffee
00:50:31
Satan and and God are in line well regardless yeah okay so so then Satan
00:50:36
told them you know they have a Journeys up there in heaven the shoes yeah oh that's cool yeah I thought that was
00:50:42
[ __ ] that's pretty added it yeah yeah and those funny socks I love CER socks funnyest socks yeah God what what can't
00:50:49
stance do exactly this gu just make the best stance are you kidding me what do
00:50:55
they what can they not do probably make shoes yeah they don't make shoes yeah that's probably a Big M that's probably
00:51:01
a big Market they should but um but I every mall I go to I always stop by the
00:51:06
Hot Topic and I always go by the journeys I go to cuz they're all different Nan's pretzels got to get me a hot pretzel what kind do you have the
00:51:13
one with the [ __ ] all over it cheesey mean well
00:51:19
yeah honestly you sound like you don't know what's there well it's not cheese is it they have a jalapeno one with like
00:51:25
some cheese on it I like that one and what kind of sauce do you get the B sauce the B sauce is so
00:51:31
good dude do they even make the [ __ ] B cuz sometimes it's Harry Potter themed so they have a bog yeah they have a b
00:51:36
sauce sauce and what else did you go in the mall yeah I I'll go to [ __ ] um
00:51:42
have you ever been shopping with Andrew in New York he knows all the good spots i d i do when we walk down we are like
00:51:47
let's come in here and you're always right you know where you catch you always right about everything you know where you catch me the most in Lids [ __ ]
00:51:54
yeah dude I can't I can't stand love I love it let me tell you something about
00:51:59
you know tell me something about Lids how much does a Lids hat cost we'll get right back to you matin yeah the Book of
00:52:06
Job yeah we're going to get to the Book of Job how much is that hat how much is that lid's hat it's so afford $3 $40
00:52:12
right AFF okay you telling me they sell enough [ __ ] hats to have a store in
00:52:18
the mall Lids is 100% a front hats right
00:52:24
how many [ __ ] hats are people buying every day Lids is selling that many [ __ ] hat
00:52:31
going on back there that this sounds like a it looks like a pizza party place if you know what I'm saying yeah who owns Lids it's that it's Reuben who
00:52:38
Michael Ruben CEO of Fanatics Ruben created an apparent logistics company Global Sports Incorporated let's look
00:52:44
deeper into Reuben let's look deeper into Reuben look at his hair he doesn't have any he doesn't have any and that
00:52:49
says a lot he's never wearing a hat either okay go to his Wikipedia businessman they say scroll in get in
00:52:56
tighter now scroll down career let's see anything
00:53:01
conspiratorial keep going keep going personal life philanthropy this will be
00:53:07
a front this is good make a wish the all-in challenge sounds like [ __ ] raise more than 60 mil okay go let's go
00:53:13
down media appearance let's go back to job maybe hold on hold on hold on yeah there he is personal go down go down to
00:53:18
personal stop stop stop Ruben is divorced from local Dan your Megan
00:53:24
Spectre now Megan not Megan he host a white
00:53:29
party in the Hamptons Independence Day Jay-Z Beyonce Bieber Brady Kim
00:53:34
Kardashian you've been to that party no dude this is an Infamous Illuminati party mhm it's called the white party
00:53:41
the white party it's out in the Hampton it's this is a famous thing this is Illuminati Central dude and I'm not even
00:53:46
Jo would you go if you were invited to the white party yeah well I think I would get yeah I could I be your
00:53:52
number your guest H we'd have to do some serious makeup up oh look at that look at that that's a
00:53:59
white party oh they all wear white she's Mexican Jennifer Lopez now whoa they
00:54:05
invite black people though oh they do well now after after n yeah whoa after
00:54:11
after uh after Co they had to no dude this is a real party this guy
00:54:17
throws in the Hamptons and it's Illuminati Central they say and this is the guy that owns Lids yes mhm yes wow
00:54:23
and there's Robert Craft yes mhm what who else do we need to know white white jizz jizz party party time time to buy a
00:54:32
hat someone's going to [ __ ] prison Kevin Hart and James Cordon wow two guys
00:54:39
that that that we know uhhuh do they do not buy hats they never bought a hat so
00:54:46
what am I saying not one guy there has a hat on this guy owns [ __ ] Lids they're wearing masks and stuff I don't
00:54:51
get invited to things like this I know we're going to get you something though yeah all right tell me about the eyes white shut party where there m well
00:54:58
together thank you that was awesome where's job oh so yeah to real recap of the Book of Job it's that God and Satan
00:55:05
they made a bet and then he said that Satan said job is only such a devout
00:55:10
follower of God because he's wealthy he has everything happy so God wants to
00:55:15
show Satan that he's wrong so he burned down his farm he killed all of his animals because God is All About Love oh
00:55:22
no well listen to The Story You're trying to make some judgment here I'm not making any judgment I know God is about about love no but this story will
00:55:27
proof is real so give me a minute okay go ahead so anyways he burns down his farm he kills the animals he kills his
00:55:33
family all right so I'm job let's just I'm put myself in job's position all right my wife yeah that I love and my
00:55:40
children and my cow and I have a llama too you always have we have these I love
00:55:46
llamas and I have two Mir cats named Joe and Saul sa yeah so my Mir cat's llama
00:55:53
dog everything dead I wife my two kids all the money is gone so I'm like okay God God God what the [ __ ] God no he said
00:56:02
thank you thank you for killing everything thank you God that's what he said okay and that is that the end of
00:56:10
job that proves God is real I get it I get
00:56:16
it how can you deny it after hearing that yeah but he [ __ ]
00:56:21
hard you spit on me you spit on me early you spit on me
00:56:26
on you okay but I do it better yeah p on you p on you yeah well that n that was
00:56:32
okay yeah it was very good that was better Korean our lips don't do that yeah I know that's why I'm surprised okay right John yeah yeah he knows and
00:56:40
he's also Asian I I can't I've been thinking about that this whole [Laughter]
00:56:47
time I know yeah so let me let me show me your turn the other way do you have
00:56:52
both your ears pierced yeah uhoh fortunately they did that to me that's
00:56:58
an alpha thing buddy no I want to get it out they did it to me when I was a baby
00:57:03
you have tto oh no okay no tattoos no not Alpha you think tattoo is Alpha look
00:57:11
at this guy he has tattoos yeah yeah then that's why I'm not going to get any
00:57:17
okay cuz he has them because I don't want to have any similarities with somebody like that I get that you love
00:57:22
me you said no I did not yeah you did Sunday you said I was a big fan yeah I did Sunday you said that you uh you
00:57:29
hated I just did that with my mind dude you keep [ __ ] with Bobby and that you
00:57:34
keep talking want to [ __ ] around dud that's not good hey dude hey dude he can make the whole W you want to [ __ ] around or what not anymore that was that just
00:57:42
hey look at me right now [Music] dude tonight you'll see oh what the [ __ ]
00:57:48
that was another spit that wasn't suppos W what do you think of that that's like black magic but for Asians
00:57:55
so what do you call it um yellow magic yeah that's right yo magic yeah yo who
00:58:01
whoa whoa whoa whoa no stop that I took offense why I take I yellow magic is
00:58:07
fine he said yellow magic no the second time he did no look at me I can still see you you're still there all
00:58:13
right no no I I I think I'm sorry John it sounded like he said magic back me up
00:58:19
dude yeah no you said you did it with an accent now what the [ __ ] dude I'm trying to you go y yo no no he said yellow say
00:58:26
it again say it again I'm trying to make it so you understand what I'm saying I say you're magic I'm trying to I'm I
00:58:33
admit what I did I want you to understand me I think when you go to Italy and you goozie you're saying excuse me but I see what he's doing he's
00:58:40
being polite being sweet okay you're being sweet yeah yeah yeah yeah um you don't have a lot of Asian friends it
00:58:46
seems like uh fortunately you don't yeah no fortunately you fortunately say
00:58:52
Fortune around Asians it's a delicate thing the trigger word yeah yeah I mean we love our
00:58:58
cookies no but you guys that was Panda Express you can't take credit for that yeah they did you guys take the [ __ ]
00:59:03
credit for the orange [ __ ] you man what are you talking about you think you own the orange chicken it's not real that one's my I never said we claim orange
00:59:09
chicken did I say that all loud I can feel in your no I I didn't never talked about orange chicken I don't like orange
00:59:15
chicken what color chicken did you guys start uh um Chef Andy Co yeah he started it yep see at penda Express the Hunan
00:59:22
Province but let me say something too have you had Korean chicken no yeah yeah I I'm plan to yeah yeah you
00:59:31
will no I won't I guess why I'll tell you how why why because after this we have each other's numbers okay I feel
00:59:38
like I feel like there's is that like a threat no I feel like there's going to be some dinners you and I are going to
00:59:43
have oh oh yeah you know that and I'm going to be your Mentor yeah you know that we talked
00:59:50
about it I'm going to help you oh he's overwhelmed no I'm good no no you're not
00:59:56
no you're not Matan I I really like you I think you're a good kid okay okay and
01:00:02
I think that you there's something about you that's very interesting and I just want to be around where that where
01:00:07
wherever it grows I want to be there wherever it grows it goes thank you rayel thank you
01:00:15
Matan thank you
01:00:21
B thank you Monon thanon yeah
01:00:26
thank you thank you mat thank you mat thank thank you [Music]
01:00:33
maton thank you Matan thank you Matan thank you Matan he oh there he
01:00:40
is I don't know what else all right oh that's it yeah that's it thank you Matan
01:00:46
thank you
01:00:52
Matan oh you're back you're back nope what oh Matan mat thank you
01:01:01
mat thank you thanks buddy thank you thank you no I don't know how to get it
01:01:07
out yeah yeah if you take that I'll break your legs you know with the South Koreans are dealing with burnout and
01:01:13
loneliness by getting Pet Rocks I I told you they would find a solution but you realize now CU you know because rocks
01:01:20
they have flat faces right so it's like of course let me tell you you can't skip a Korean guy
01:01:27
but you can skip a rock that's so true uh Kua young 33 told
01:01:33
son she didn't have anyone to talk to about the burnout she experienced to starting a new office job in Soul didn't want to worry friends and family felt
01:01:39
that getting a pet animal like a cat or dog would have been too much responsibility so got a pet rock named it bang bang e Bang bangir by the Korean
01:01:46
word for jumping in happiness according to the journal she says talks to The Rock about her day carries out in her pocket when she goes out for the walks
01:01:52
to the gym yeah I mean it feels it's a good solution yeah and it's cheap yeah I
01:01:58
want I'm going to wait until I get they get those robots going yeah oh what the the there's a new AI robot that looks
01:02:04
pretty real the girl I forgot her name but no not in seexual I don't like your
01:02:09
look dude they're always in seexual well they they have some sexual undertone yeah there's no I'll get a black eye
01:02:15
then Rob robot that would still be sexual reason that's way more sexual yeah but without I would I a big
01:02:22
beautiful black man I won't pay for the genital part that comes with it I know can you detach it no I want to put a
01:02:29
little Asian one in there it's too too threatening but I do want to get an AI welcome home B we
01:02:36
can't get you AI but we have another gift for you come here Mone give him a gift what is it we got a gift for you my friend I got you this gift oh my god oh
01:02:44
wow God I got you this gift it's open I don't know what it is but it's kind of open is that going to make me mad or no
01:02:50
well that's just that's just extra wrapping no it's open cuz you used it like oh my God God no I accidentally
01:02:57
bought two copies so I watch did you see it yeah dude that shit's [ __ ] very good good or no very good yeah but I
01:03:03
watch half of it at like it I I watched it in two parts yeah yeah and like it is
01:03:08
uh happiness really dark movie Bobby wanted it for so long you can't find it anywhere it's banned it's yeah it's I'm
01:03:13
not banned I just just never got proper distribution because it was rated nc7 and it's just really hard to Market yeah
01:03:19
and if you watch it you understand why who's in it anybody famous Philip Seymour Hoffman Molly Shannon John litz
01:03:26
yeah we talked about it on the show well congratulations on thank you so much D how does that feel good D this is like one of the best I mean I don't have a
01:03:31
DVD player look at this now no do you have a video game you have an Xbox PS5 I can watch it on my yeah it's a Blu-ray
01:03:37
on my Xbox I can yeah yes I'm going to watch and PS5 thank you hey now you don't have to get a pet rock look at
01:03:43
that yeah I still I'm still going get you still should get I'm still going a pet rock I know I know what this is what
01:03:49
this is insane this is insane I want to see it oh yeah Bobby
01:03:56
you guys were eating was that in Tucson if this doesn't Encompass Tucson yeah as
01:04:03
a whole a cockroach was crawling on Bobby outside while you guys were eating
01:04:09
food dude that night was a nightmar that I'll tell you why Tucson
01:04:15
closes at 5:00 p.m. yeah there was nowhere to eat so we had to go to a hot dog vendor so gross right and then these
01:04:21
two ladies right there aside from the Cockroaches they got three
01:04:27
photos what do you mean wait keep playing
01:04:34
it what was that was you get it up sooner than that
01:04:43
manhole this is my job I got it off with my
01:04:50
hand you on you just had a cockroach on you and
01:04:56
she can't wait to get a photo sweet cute what Bobby that's a meat
01:05:03
cute that's a meat cute yeah remember when you had that cockroach on you outside in
01:05:08
tucon I just fell for you would you date her is she your type she looks [ __ ]
01:05:15
yeah the tats that jacket I can never wear again do you know why well four
01:05:20
times people go you going to work yeah it looks like I'm a chef somewhere I
01:05:25
said yeah yeah yeah yeah it's also physically physically physically what
01:05:31
it's not flattering physically I mean it makes you look bulbous as [ __ ] in go turn the volume
01:05:38
off but go back to the FR I told you that when you wore it I said you're you're prettier than that Co see that earlier I did so like that shot right
01:05:44
there like look at that well it's the hot dog stuff on me I but but but this kind of thing relish on me I know such
01:05:51
like a chef it feels like it retains [ __ ] that you know what I mean like that's I'm never going to wear it again
01:05:57
I'm never going to wear it again was that an expensive piece of clothing I could imagine it was cuz it's got to be handmade in Japan I got in San Fran ones
01:06:05
all right I'll never wear it again yeah I I don't like it yeah no one ever says that's a great jacket or whatever no no
01:06:10
one did say that yeah yeah is that it you know what what there's this oh my
01:06:16
God we didn't even talk about yeah so let me tell me what where is that at it's on the it's off the 101 and sunset
01:06:21
no did we find out the artist that did this yes this is [ __ ] it's amazing it's [ __ ] amazing this dude is the
01:06:27
[ __ ] I love you I retweeted and I said uh we love La man this was like such a
01:06:33
and honestly dude yeah this is I'm not saying keep doing this all over LA but I
01:06:39
am please do yeah please yeah that's so dope same sucky bat oh I love sucky I
01:06:46
love sucky I love sucky I mean Co joke is just laid all over that was sucky bat but yeah wait so so put the [ __ ]
01:06:52
we'll put his name up there sucky bat shout out to that cat I know this is uh we shouldn't probably be promoting
01:06:58
graffiti but I love it yeah I mean [ __ ] street art is great suck you bat I thought that was in the Middle
01:07:04
East promoting our Dubai so show yeah well we could it would help if anybody
01:07:10
wants to fly to Dubai and tag the walls down there yeah I if you do graffiti down there in UAE oh you're done you get
01:07:16
you get time in I mean like time in prison real time Wow Wow Wow real time yeah we're excited to go to Dubai I
01:07:22
can't wait according to law UAE any damages of disig figure public property is considered a crime includes graffiti
01:07:28
yeah how much time I just want to test it though no I'm telling you you're there alone I'm not bailing you out you
01:07:34
bail me out how about if I spit gum no that's in Singapore right yeah but can I do it
01:07:40
there I don't even think they're not allowed to have gum in Dubai no gum wow it's a no gum country how about a Mentos
01:07:46
MH no I think and a cop's feet who I think they just have Tic Tacs oh they do
01:07:52
yeah oh go go yeah there cuz you know we're playing there and there's all these rules so you know I'm going to
01:07:59
there's not a lot no nudity no talking bad about UAE that's it that's the
01:08:04
that's all you have to do can't show any part of your naked body I'm not going to if you do I'm not going to please I
01:08:11
won't please I'm not gonna it sounds like you're gonna I am I know no I'm not
01:08:16
I'm not going to do it know that and then we can't be defamatory about UAE you can't be like I'm not I don't even know what I know you don't even know
01:08:21
what that stands for I can't do that you can do that all right save that for the casinos okay
01:08:29
okay thank you for being a bad friend [Music]
01:08:55
oh
