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hey hey everybody bad friends live and we're at the tail end of our tour guys
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and we're dude we've got a special show yeah if you don't go dude you're dumb dude you're dumb dumb dud we're coming
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up in Washington DC Denver then Denver Denver Colorado you got to get tickets
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now that's right Milwaukee Wisconsin yep Chicago Illinois my hometown Minneapolis
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Minnesota where you're from Minnesota happened to me there man and the very last date is Madison Wisconsin yeah go
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check it out dude so let me tell you something DC you're up next then Denver
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get ready baby we're strolling down the line coming to the Midwest we love you guys go to badri pod.com for those
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tickets badri pod.com if it hits my face from there right I'll promote if I can
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spit it Nick and hit your face you'll promote tomorrow yeah I'm going to I'll blow my back out doing this ready yeah
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please [Music]
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guys shoulder shoulder [ __ ] try try what I said it just hits my head I'm not
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promoting tomorrow I'm not promoting tomorrow you're not going to promote any day you [ __ ] fat there we go there we
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go there we go there's the hostility dude you don't know how to take a [ __ ] loss dude I should just learn
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from you dudes yeah I'm the L King yeah great great musician that's that's that she's
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great you two are bad friends are these two idiots a white dude and an Asian
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dude you two are disgusting W you two or something we're bad friends well here's
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the here's the deal about Halloween yeah we're not going to be here this year and last year where were you I'm going to be
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I'll be where we going to be I won't be here where were I going to be well you'll be here kiddo you'll be here bud oh no I'm going to be here wherever
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you're going to be there's still going to be Halloween yeah but I won't have to hand out candy this year I've never handed out candy you I Turn All the
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Lights Off well kids don't go to the who's going to the hills to get [ __ ] candy you live Hollywood Hill I still turn off the lights for who your
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neighbors I do for Jehovah Witness and Halloween you don't want to talk to some J wits no dude really yeah I'm always
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like in the dark like this seeing them walk by see I like I like to hand out candy don't you think it's cute when the kids come through yeah my last place was
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such a trap house I didn't want anyone coming up there you didn't want to give them some some fentanyl on the way home yeah no let me why why candy though huh
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we should switch it up no it's easier to lure them in with it yeah yeah you know I mean I what
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wouldn't a dollar be cool or do you want a king size huh come on in wouldn't a
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dollar be cool yeah there there were always that's so funny you say that there were Asians in my neighborhood that handed out money that's right that's why we did you hand out money
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yeah a dollar what is that with you guys we love it we money is better than candy I'll tell you that right now cuz money
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gets you candy dude for [ __ ] Christmas let me say something let me say something about Christmas dude okay growing up when we were 6 years old my
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dad goes no more he goes no more Christmas tree because the LA the when I
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was five they put one up and it stayed in the house all year round yeah the but
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to the point where all the pine fell off needles is that what it is the needles
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yeah yeah so it was just branches yeah right yeah so all your and then my my mom would put squid on it what you to
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dry the squid what yeah yeah and like laundry well laundry makes sense yeah yeah yeah but it was like laundry and
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like dried squid on this [ __ ] Branch tree and my dad one he goes no more
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that's really The Nightmare Before Christmas that's what that yeah yeah what's the most impressive thing you ever got for Christmas yeah I mean my
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dad would give me those Visa gift cards but I was like like I wish you put some thought into this yeah what is about you
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guys and thoughts I don't know you white people with your thoughts your brother's not white I want feeling with it yeah we
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do no no every year like Kila right I would just go here's an iPad and she was
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she's like you know you every year I get an iPad but she's I know but that's 800 $1 She's mixed right yeah but she's
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still white the white side was like the white side was like I want thoughts yeah it'd be nice to get an iPad and a note
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no note what's the note for show some love yeah no I say it verbally do it to
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me right now give me a note okay dear wait who are you
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me do you have to be you I'm me all the time I don't want you to be you who you want me to be be just some my neighbor
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John I'm John your neighbor okay Dear John what a beautiful neighbor you are
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thanks are you okay John oh yeah yeah and you know it's so what a joy
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this time of year to share my holiday greetings with my neighbor John anyway happy Christmas I have
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cancer yeah and I go bye oh here's our iPad I'll redition hos Bish yeah but
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what I'm saying is is you guys about especially women with their I want feel you know it's like yeah we want some
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emotional attachment no no like that's more important than the gift yeah no yes
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it is oh so you rather have okay you'd rather let me say something all right you'd ra you okay I'm sorry a lot of
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white women in the studio today care [ __ ] and why it's getting me crazy I know and enough of the pumpkin spice
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it's not a good flavor I agree with you this is [ __ ] pumpkin it's not a good flavor it's never been a good flavor and go [ __ ] yourself you're never going to
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stop that stop no business why people stop crocheting no no no that one I'm
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cool with and your bat Mitten we need bat Mitten love it I'm tired of your white ways you don't want to smack a
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shuttle cck once in a while it's called a shuttle [ __ ] you don't want to smack that thing around you don't want to
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smack a [ __ ] in the backyard I'm sorry but so no more pumpkin spies and no more
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thoughts no thoughts are nice because let me say something and this year for your birthday because you did such a
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great job on my birthday thank you I'm going to have to put some thoughts into it yes but I don't want to
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that's why it means something that's why it means something but you're the only one I'm going to give you thoughts I like that yeah yeah like I'm I'm like
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I'm we're I'm going to Hawaii with a young lady
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okay all right private jet no first class Spirit
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yeah oh yeah you give her the window Z yeah yeah um West
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ched wested back right and you know you going to step by Canada first yeah so
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you're going to Hawaii with a nice young sweet one I'm saying is and you're going to rebuild houses that's no we're we're going to
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find kids first what are you going to do with them no I mean there's some people missing so we're going to go to Maui and
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find oh you're going to search for the UN sure oh that's sweet that's why we're there that's nice but then we're going to tan too and eat nice food
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okay and this is how I tan right here like this but anyway um that alone right
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is a thoughtful thing that I'm doing someone to Maui yeah if if like when I take you to dinner and I pay for it
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right yeah do I pay for it you always do I always do right yeah that's thoughtful I love those but I don't have to say it
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and I don't have to put any thought into it right yeah but you know the gesture is nice I do every day I do generous
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gestures of love give me a GG of love right now what did you do today what's a generous gesture of love that you did
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today to you in general that you did today what did you do today you said you do them every day what's today oh I I
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know I okay today's Tuesday you got your nails done that's not it though you got your hands
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shortened they no no no I mean no I got no I got my nails done oh right right I don't know if they're shrunk so I go to
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a place you know with a bunch of hold on let me see yeah Beverly Hills
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housewives yeah oh they've got work done yeah right and they're always the is
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like the is like wel right right right and I give the
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$100 tip hands and foot separate $100 a piece yeah that's insane that's but
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that's generous is that thoughts yeah no that's just is that thoughts that's rich guy [ __ ] yeah yeah but still dude I'm
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telling you right now I'm going to all right I'm going to call somebody out right now I'm going to call somebody out
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right now dude all right okay well I'm not going to say his name but you can guess okay he's a he wrote a bunch of
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spiritual books very popular spiritual elron Hub some someone like that all
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right and I so I used to work at a restaurant way way back we know okay
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yeah and the spiritual guy used to come in there and he wouldn't tip that well and we knew that he had money oh we
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talked about yeah what Romas or whatever his name is not Romas what are you [ __ ] talking about romdas would tip
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yeah yeah Jesus Romos they would all tip what's going on with you yeah yeah Romos was that a joke or was that an honest
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guest no I thought it because he's by San Diego sometimes so I really thought when's the last time you jerked off uh
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you look you feel like you're built up days ago no I'm not I hooked up with the girl last night come she had a shirt
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that said I did you come yes I can okay all right we'll get to that in a second give me back to the famous guy who T
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didn't tip four days by the way huh four days for you yeah someone's holding out I'm holding out that thing is going to I
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know it's so hard and last night was the toughest one I know last night pumping up that balloon it's going to pop I was
00:09:31
playing Starfield right you were just coming during star no no no I was well yeah so exciting that game no I'm
00:09:37
playing Starfield and I'm on a planet and I'm like you know at a uh weapons installation got it well let me finish
00:09:44
yeah right there's too many details just what Happ yeah and also like the Crimson Fleet there so I'm going around right
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with my [ __ ] gun I got a new guny that I you know what I mean upgraded and stuff in my house in uh um God ailla
00:09:58
City I have a house in a city let me
00:10:04
finish and so I'm like you know snipe snipe snipe snipe yeah yeah but my dick
00:10:10
is like snipe snipe too oh see what I'm saying got it do you understand you're ready to snipe right and I'm like hello
00:10:17
Toki you know what's my penis's name to dum dum the Dum Dum the Dum Dum sorry apologize what the [ __ ] dude I know I
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know yeah don't want to offend the guy Toki the Dum Dum right was up
00:10:30
ready to go right man this story is like your sex life like is he ever going to [Music]
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finish that's a Zinger dude thank you that's a Zinger dude I like it Montreal next year
00:10:43
theyre next year new faces anyway
00:10:48
um uh oh we'll be right back I take back what I said I'm sorry did you do that I
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hope not when you give him a good Zinger that's like when you poke a poke one of those voodoo dolls I'll never choke again so any I'm fine this guy didn't
00:11:00
tip very well down Rich guys oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah well no I pinched the head of my dick let me finish last
00:11:06
night I like how these two things are kind of well it's like a I'm like a Tarantino movie dude really are yeah
00:11:13
yeah yeah so um I pinched the head of my dick to and he
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went you're right CH out but then he went back to sleep I did like a well he tapped him out I did a rear nicked choke
00:11:25
dude I did a rear Nick choke to my dick dude you tapped out your dick I tapped out my dick dude and he's like tap tap tap tap tap right right there no ref
00:11:32
yeah there's no ref no that's it he let let him pass out wow yeah you know cuz my fingers are like you know black belt
00:11:37
and Jiu-Jitsu so I yeah I pinched him out he F anyway back to the spiritual guy he
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didn't tip that well every time and I know a lot of guys that don't so for you do you know when I went to
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the nail salon yeah so don't do that don't not tip no I'm just saying don't
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say that it's because I have a little bit of money and I tipped that was still generous on $100 is more than generous
00:12:00
that's rich guy [ __ ] $20 a person would have been generous can I tell you why I do that
00:12:06
though because you only have hundreds no well that's true yeah that's true yeah let me look at my there is no there's no
00:12:12
small bills that's the problem let me look same thing we were what we were Ving somewhere I said do you have any money I said just give me a couple bucks
00:12:18
$100 bill it's like I can't give that to the valet that's ins why would that's that's too much money he would have done that though look hundred hundred
00:12:24
hundreds hundreds yeah oh yeah they're all hundreds right so that's what I'm talking about oh yeah but do you know why get smaller bills no but guess why
00:12:31
do you know why because you get paid in Huns from where shows yeah yeah I know so it's not but go to a thing and break
00:12:38
it you're right you're right you're right what was I say give that money to the girls no I don't want to give it to the girls they have enough look at home
00:12:44
they do not yeah look at them they do not show they're Pumpkin Spice Girls are they Pumpkin Spice Girls the Pumpkin
00:12:49
Spice Girls they're the look at them they're Cru they crochet well one of them nits yeah yeah yeah guess which
00:12:55
oneit you probably have an ottoman do you have an ottoman what do you mean I have an ottoman at the house G gay who's
00:13:03
gay here right well it's easier to blow my boyfriend when my knees are on the utom I don't want to go on the ground
00:13:08
hard I bet I bet you money you girls right have Nooks yeah they have a Nook a reading Nook a reading Nook a breakf
00:13:15
Nook and you probably have candles that smell nice right that I don't I refuse
00:13:23
and no candles these are all great and you probably have a barrel of rice somewhere I mean yeah we all have our a
00:13:30
we all have our things okay all right all right anyway you don't have good smelling candles at the house I actually
00:13:35
do I I have I just bought some uh I bought a gigantic santel one love those
00:13:41
it's a gig santel 33 from La you the Lao I got a Gigan was so expensive give me
00:13:47
we're what $6 $700,000 I don't want to talk about it now because of the tell me how much tell
00:13:53
me how much the big well I bought two candles and a gigantic one and then two sprays I SP about 400 bucks maybe oh
00:14:00
that's not bad I I mean it's a lot of money but I thought it for some reason in my mind I thought that was going to be one of those just FYI I don't really
00:14:06
have a lot of money let's thow out okay okay let's move [Laughter]
00:14:12
on I thought by the way I thought when Oliver was here he was going to get you to put down the Vape he did make it seem
00:14:19
like he was going to get you to stop vaping well this whose fault is this guess in the room whose fault was Jewels
00:14:26
wait who whose fault is the why I'm smoking Jewels again Carlos thank you well I mean I know thank you you [ __ ]
00:14:32
me up again well you know you [ __ ] me up how do I [ __ ] you up okay I'll tell you this okay you tell me everything
00:14:37
gave me 100 milligram edible it got me whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa a
00:14:43
couple years ago I'm sober now almost two years yeah but it lifted me into another level of weed use and I've never
00:14:49
gone back so he forced you to eat it well he offered it to me and you know I didn't want to deny it which I put you
00:14:55
at another level of Consciousness yeah I like it like you've and you're probably dreaming
00:15:02
better that night I did dream really well you're welcome and then he employed you and pays your bills emplo employ you
00:15:08
and pay your bills and and whatnot and such thank you for everything did you get your car fixed you know he got his
00:15:13
car keyed oh [ __ ] the first [ __ ] week this guy's got a car it gets keyed yeah this guy you got it fixed no no you're
00:15:19
never going to get fixed like my you know my car that's what I said well you're never going to get that fixed I'm never going to get my fixed everybody at
00:15:25
The Comedy Store there's a running bet on if you're if you're going to are you really over there like just let me fix it for
00:15:30
you no he yeah he wants he wants to fix it I feel like I wish we could just show a photo to the fans of your car it's
00:15:37
sterical you know when you see a car people at home you know when you see a car that's in one of those junkyards and it gets smooshed from one of those
00:15:43
machines his is like if they did it to the sides they smashed the sides and they picked it up and moved it well I
00:15:49
know it's not your fault but it's hysterical it's been that way for what six months a year yeah I just okay I
00:15:55
mean I just don't know what to do well do you want me to do it for you cuz I I know you you gave me a then I had my guy call the guy we made an appointment and
00:16:01
they go okay come at 3:00 or whatever whatever right I just never showed up well that's a [ __ ] what the [ __ ] so
00:16:06
by the way my gu have to show up my guy's so good he'll fix it for I mean it's I know the guy we contacted that guy that guy was like he yeah and when
00:16:13
we go on tour the next time this time we're getting it fixed we're getting it fixed I like it all right tell us about your little Expedition the other night
00:16:20
oh I went on a date with this girl yeah and she shows up wearing a tank top that says I love [ __ ] stop and if in public
00:16:29
yeah in Echo Echo Park oh man I get back in my car and go home no she's hot why she's Italian that means she you're
00:16:35
going to walk around with a girl that has shirt on that says I love [ __ ] let me say something okay if I'm a smoothie huh
00:16:40
if I'm a smoothie you're not I I know but let's suppose I was a smoothie hypothetically I see it now you see it
00:16:47
right and I'm like you know a banana smoothie yeah right and um chocolate
00:16:52
lovers and I want someone to drink me right I'm going to drink it and I'm on I'm on a hinge uhhuh match with a girl
00:16:59
Oh I thought you said unhinged right so I true you know I mean they don't have leg smoothies no right but I you know I
00:17:05
mean I get to the house I knock on right and the door opens and she goes I love smoothies or I drink smoothies or
00:17:11
whatever I would be excited that's what I'm saying right but in this scenario it's to real you have come inside you
00:17:18
yeah she likes the [ __ ] right you like it when the [ __ ] is being retrieved from your body mhm you know yeah you don't
00:17:24
like it when it's released from your body no but it's more fun when I don't really know how much she loves it yeah but what if she didn't like it at all
00:17:30
let me give you a better example okay go all right sorry that was when I go to my family's no it's a great example when I go to my family's house yeah right like
00:17:37
my extended family yeah and they cook a dish that I like yeah that's a fun surprise uhhuh I don't need to know the
00:17:44
whole time that the dish is on its way I like to be surprised right I like to get
00:17:49
through but what if they bring out poo what see that's what I'm saying oh you're thinking they might flip it on
00:17:55
you yeah they might flip it on you right so what it be what what's your favorite dish of all time no the dish that you're
00:18:01
at home and you you you know it's a surprise or whatever lasagna great love lasagna so you're sitting there right
00:18:07
you smell lasagna right you're at the dinner table right they light the candles you know what are the candles
00:18:13
for oh they smell good in the room the whole house smells like lasagna what are you doing yeah and there's like the
00:18:18
flavor of the candles pumpkin spicy no I don't like the whatever okay okay I'm blowing them out and you're like you're
00:18:24
you're looking at the Nook and you know what book am I going to read and you I'm want to put my feet up on that ottoman right look what she knitted right and
00:18:31
then in your head right and you're like I smell those anas coming right and then they bring out poo so what I'm saying is
00:18:38
is that wait a minute if your aunt had lasagna coming on her shirt you had some weird dates
00:18:46
Bobby wait a minute is it poo or is it cake that's a good show is it poo or is
00:18:53
a cake I think I don't think my I don't think it could you got it what I was
00:18:58
saying no one else on planet Earth understood what I was saying but I you know what imagine if you had to eat it
00:19:04
first is it poo or is it C you're not allowed to cut it eat right I know what
00:19:11
you're saying I know what you're saying let's hear the rest of this [ __ ] same date a girl who wrote I love come
00:19:16
on her shirt which by the way it's not sold that's you know I can't scoop that up at American Eagle that's a custom
00:19:23
shirt she had made well yeah she told me she went down to the Santa Monica Pier for the same guy that does like
00:19:28
caricatures and he's like you want a shirt what do you want it to say yeah she liked it it said I love Comm and it
00:19:34
it did get me a little excited but then to be fair you do forget about it after a while you forget that she's wearing a
00:19:40
shirt that says I love [ __ ] yeah because she has a jacket and like it just says I love C for a second so you could kind of
00:19:45
forget about the whole thing yeah I wouldn't forget oh so the C's in the middle of the shirt yeah it's a cu the goes up no it's vertical it's CU M oh
00:19:52
it's oh okay okay okay okay okay so what I also want to know is where did you take this human on a date oh so we went
00:19:58
on a walk with uh Archie my dog at a park oh my God and then not to a restaurant or a facility a bar that was
00:20:05
that was her [ __ ] idea I'm normally not the oh let's go on a walk guy like that's crazy that's not crazy I think
00:20:10
that's a nice date so I never do that I'm just like meet me at a bar restaurant no no no Take a Walk okay
00:20:16
yeah so we go to a bar I can't bring my dog in so I go why don't we just go to
00:20:21
my place oh trick little trickery trickery no no it's a little trickery that's Wizardry at hand yeah well she
00:20:29
invited me to her place I was like no we'll go to my place I knew my place would be nice that's expus seus you you
00:20:34
did a little [ __ ] trickery on her right there Potter thank you dellia seus dellia seus here's the problem now
00:20:42
you're going to employ this in the future because you know you can take the dog out and go we can't bring the dog in here oh a million per right so it just
00:20:49
taught him a new move yeah now he's going to take the dog on all the dates and go you guys don't take dogs here and they're like no is it a service dog and
00:20:54
he's like well yeah and they're like I'm sorry we don't he's like this is embarrassing yeah and this is my best friend you're not going to let me and my
00:20:59
best friend and this New Girl I'm dating I mean this is a [ __ ] move dude know this is a huge move for you so you guys
00:21:05
went right back to your place and that's it what if she says what if she says we'll just drop the dog off and then we'll go no no no we I was like let's
00:21:12
just go to my place she was all in no he's asking you a qu an alternative this he's calling an a alternative what's the
00:21:17
question if she says drop the dog of the house I want to go back to the bar that's a lot of driving to go all
00:21:24
the way home okay okay good good I'm just I'm just trying to be dilig I got to tell you you're you're you're if you say that to her you're kind of cutting
00:21:29
yourself out keep in mind she loves oh yeah okay let me you're in the
00:21:35
place now yeah cuz I have certain moves okay well don't give them away on the show I'm never going to say any moves I
00:21:41
no I'm going to write a book one day yeah you mean Bobby's moves yeah you'll write yeah you'll write a book you're going to love it yeah you know you'll
00:21:48
write a book vroom vroom vroom vom vroom vroom vroom V you guys vroom is the only
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sheath under.com what do you what do you do do you go the mov is sitting outside on my deck what I like we like chill
00:24:54
outside on the deck smoke weed have oh you smoke weed do draw drugs it's not drugs I'm not giving her fentanyl I know
00:25:00
I know but still weed is a drug well they're not going to be sober yeah know all right so you smoke weed you gigle do
00:25:06
you tell a joke yeah we talk about things we go oh you probably Google like um dwarf skeletons no that's only right
00:25:13
that's a good one no I can't do give us a topic on a date that you bring up in a conversation yeah you're the girl yeah yes I am yeah oh man this is a nice deck
00:25:22
oh thanks I just moved in here cool yeah what do you pay for rent here uh like
00:25:28
3,500 that sounds right yeah do you want to smoke a joint um I'm
00:25:34
going to light one okay cool that's cool do you want some no I'm okay you it's pretty good I'd rather have
00:25:42
[ __ ] right this way okay wow I guess that worked yeah wow did she keep the I love
00:25:48
C shirt on while you guys were hooking up no that would have been funny yeah it would have been but no she you're taking each other's clothes off she what if she
00:25:54
smoke the [ __ ] Jes I read like [ __ ] right smoke it time I did go to a girl's place
00:26:00
and out of nowhere she lights heroin on a spoon she start it starts bubbling like Pulp Fiction out of nowhere let me
00:26:07
tell you something I bet you it wasn't out of nowhere you're right it was an escort it was Hollywood yeah yeah an
00:26:12
escort in Hollywood it was an escort night no regular Joe Schmo is just
00:26:17
lighting up h on a spoon like whoa where did that come from I bet you the circumstances LED themselves to know
00:26:23
this person's going to do heroin can I say I was on I was at the Korean spot 2: in the morning the other night and it
00:26:29
was on so I was on Western and Wilshire 6th like in that area right and then you
00:26:36
know there's a string of prostitutes out there and I had a I I stopped and I had my window rolled down and I see a
00:26:42
prostitute and she looks and I I went hi she said hi I did why I don't know
00:26:49
why you were you were playing with fire you wanted no I I didn't know what to do so I go hi and she's like she did
00:26:56
something with her friend like move on cop cop cop cop right away really yeah you'd feel like a cop I'd be like that's
00:27:02
a cop hi and I rolled I was like why' you say I like that I've never been propositioned I had I had a girl look at
00:27:08
my car then like look at me and then go and then look the other way I've
00:27:14
never even had a you look like a cop then too I look like a cop 100% yeah I rolled out my window once in Hollywood
00:27:19
and just stopped where they all are yeah and I had my door unlocked and I just wanted to see what would happen waiting
00:27:24
for one to get in yeah and one did get in but it was not a woman what it was a
00:27:30
man dressed like a woman and I went oh I'm good I'm good I'm good he was also wearing an I love [ __ ] shirt but same guy
00:27:37
but I was really lucky he she got out of the car they got out of the car teach yourself the right [ __ ] right I have a
00:27:42
story to tell yeah please so one time I I got to say this guy's name so there's a comic named do you remember him I
00:27:49
remember that guy right so one night he was like after a show we're at the store and he's like let's go down to Santa
00:27:55
Monica I go is there a restaurant there it's like 1: in the morning there's stuff to eat down there I know and I go
00:28:01
where is it no no no let's get you know prostitute oh I go but
00:28:07
they're all guys down there he's like dude you're not going to know the difference you might right wait really
00:28:14
you're not going to know the difference well some of them are really hot I've seen some really hot trans I mean I would know the difference I think I
00:28:19
would know the difference I think I would know the difference yeah sometimes I don't know the difference no no no we wait sometimes you don't know
00:28:26
the difference what you don't see the Adams Apple I don't look there I'm not looking at your throat when I meet oh
00:28:32
you don't look at the throat that's the key never look at the throat look at the throat that makes sense it's more just like hands you don't look at the hands
00:28:38
either no and that's what happened so the guy who got in the car that it was like a black guy huge hands I was just
00:28:44
like dude this is not a you got to be careful letting people into your world like this I know it did you see this cop that hooked up in the backseat of his
00:28:50
Cruiser did you see this no they have it on video it's like what the [ __ ] are you doing he's like hooking up with this
00:28:56
chick and then they get in the backseat of his cop car in like broad daylight it wasn't even like trying to be discre you
00:29:02
saw this fans it's crazy no but then apparently he says it was in the news
00:29:07
apparently he said that it was consensual and they had done this before he stopped someone and then but it
00:29:12
looked like yeah it obviously looked like he was being bad boy bad boy what you going to do what you going to do
00:29:18
when they come for you those are good lyrics you should write a song seriously yeah that's really cool bad boy bad boy
00:29:25
what you going to do what you going to do when they come for you like that's like like a lyric you know like a Vibe
00:29:32
yeah man what is it say it bad boy bad boy bad boy bad boy what you gonna do oh
00:29:38
this is great Britney Spears dancing with knives let's take a look at this real fast [ __ ] yeah
00:29:45
dude hey can I can I tell you I already made a joke about this a long time ago
00:29:51
spinning on this show we were all like free Britney free Brit Britney and I said on this show are
00:29:57
you sure remember are you sure you're saying she's too free are you sure you
00:30:02
want her free yeah she's a little too free right people like she doesn't need a conservative ship are you sure yeah
00:30:08
you're right are you sure you're right she's wielding kitchen knif look at her dogs in the background one of those things is going to end up at a
00:30:16
restaurant look at the way she's waving around those kives show play the video again it's
00:30:23
Bonkers I feel I love this girl I feel bad there's no way this is
00:30:29
Chill started playing with knives today why Brit don't worry they're not real knives
00:30:36
Halloween is soon yes they are those are knives what what would be like hooking
00:30:42
up with her you think scary I like that he's pretending those are not real knives those are definitely real knives
00:30:48
they are real those for sure real those knives are definitely not fake says the internet what would it be like to hook
00:30:54
up with her or is that what you're saying well just the date her no no just the after hookup talk you know you have
00:31:00
that talk the chat yeah the chat you're naked you know you get the
00:31:05
towel I'm a towel guy so you stay naked the whole time I do after you hook up do you put on any kind of clothing is most
00:31:12
most times you put on something yeah not me not me I put on a costume oh really yeah I used to do that
00:31:20
I used to do that I used to do the robin you mean yeah I'll just put I'll put on a costume I'll put on Iron Man
00:31:26
mask just butt naked Iron Man man honestly I feel like you and Britney
00:31:31
Spears would be perfect yeah yeah now that I think about it but what would she talk about do think I imagine just her legs over you you you're sweating she
00:31:38
feels like oh that was great she might sing to you I know a new song though not even a
00:31:46
Bobby oh Bobby Bobby how was I suppos
00:31:55
now yeah and then you probably do a dance too right hit me Bobby one more
00:32:00
time time you're like I got to go I have to leave my cars here wait you haven't seen my knife Dance come see my
00:32:07
knife dance oh you're going to love it yeah in my living room I I wave knives
00:32:12
and I Tick Tock G by the way I called it on the show a long time ago if this leads to something crazy like they put
00:32:18
her back they 5150 her I should have made a bet on the on our fans cuz people were like what's 5150 that means it's
00:32:25
the for for uh mental health uh what is it called what's the cops come and take you and take me to the mental 5150 is
00:32:32
when you are mentally unstable that's when you um what is it called uh allows
00:32:37
a person with a mental challenge to be involuntarily detained for 72 hour psychiatric hospitalization so you can 5150 someone to be like I'm worried
00:32:44
they're going to hurt themselves or hurt someone around them yeah like we could 50150 you please don't you could 50150 me yeah
00:32:52
I would never do that though of all the people in here that we would 50150 let me guess 1 2 3 Carlos I mean what the
00:32:59
[ __ ] wait you think I'm like losing my mind no I just think you're a threat to society yeah yeah like I feel like you
00:33:06
could cause physical harm to society I do when I leave the house I definitely like I know I want you inside more than
00:33:12
out but you know what though can I be honest with you he's the only one I really trust here 100% I agree he knows
00:33:18
that and he know I I you would [ __ ] if I called you and I go you got to help
00:33:24
me buy this body oh it would be so fun see that's what I'm saying see that you
00:33:29
need a 5150 in your life you need 15150 you need 15150 in your life get 150150
00:33:35
around yeah like I honestly there's a like let's say I relapsed mhm already
00:33:41
excited well see I'm n see this makes me mad yeah cuz they party together yeah party party dude's not going to help
00:33:47
you's honestly if I relaps and I called you I'm like dude check it out I I want
00:33:53
some old school a sheet of acid do you know where to go my my closet oh Noom
00:34:01
yeah and would you bring it over um be honest honestly I would call
00:34:07
Andrew it's about love dude thank you that's [ __ ] [ __ ] no it's not dude no that's huge that is such a big50
00:34:14
though dude he's changed dude he's 5149 now all
00:34:20
right you know what I'm so glad you said that cuz I was about to [ __ ] get really mad and then okay so then you
00:34:26
call him M then you know what happens I'm coming to get your ass and what are you going to do if I decide I'm going to
00:34:31
relapse I'm going to relapse no you're not not around me can help not around [ __ ] me or not in Mexico then Andrew
00:34:38
runs to have dinner okay I don't know what the [ __ ] you just said dude let me tell what did you just say what did you say slow it down I said unless you're in
00:34:44
Mexico then Andrew runs to have dinner with some friends and bobby gets dropped
00:34:50
in my lap yeah put him I put him in your lap well no you already showed up [ __ ] up in Mexico you were already [ __ ] up
00:34:56
when did wait you were babysitting me in Mexico yeah you got [ __ ] up at dinner you don't remember this oh yeah you I I remember you tried
00:35:03
to order me like a a Sprite he tried to start a fight with me because I ordered him a a mocktail yeah he's so you're so
00:35:09
stupid that day I'm stupid yeah because I'm like I'm going to get what you're getting and you come back with a mocktail you have alcohol no I don't I
00:35:16
didn't have alcohol in mine nobody had nobody had alcohol you [ __ ] but you were pissed off cuz there was no booze
00:35:21
in it you were mad you were throwing a big fit and then you went I'm an alcoholic I know dude we were trying to stop you and then you went and got
00:35:27
[ __ ] booze anyway and you pooped all over the room there's a will there's a way I know it's unfortunate so if I'm going to call him he doesn't pull
00:35:33
through I will call somebody yeah but but at least when he calls me I'll be over at your house to [ __ ] get in your way to make it more annoying for
00:35:39
you to use but would you I'd get in your I'd roadblock you from I know I know but
00:35:44
that would be a nightmare if I relapsed huh oh yeah I would not be happy about it no no let's not let's not do it what
00:35:50
are you going to do about it I would cry you would cry yeah cuz I've never met you in that state and but I've heard all
00:35:57
these stories and I feel really lucky like when we I you came into my life and
00:36:02
you're like on this good track up and it would be kind of devastating to see that thoughts see and then I'd 5150
00:36:11
you that's thoughts that's thoughts that's pure thoughts dude that's pumpkin spice right there yeah pumpk In the
00:36:18
Flesh dude you know what dude I'm grabbing toting toward it I'm going to get that next time at Starbucks let's get it let's all get it together yeah
00:36:24
pumpk let's all get it in fact you know what order pumpkin spice right now I'm being real get delivered here
00:36:30
Mone go get me some pumpkin spice dude I'm I'm a chang man dude I want a cold do you girls want pumpkin spices yeah
00:36:36
get pumpkin for everybody dude you know what I mean Carlos give them the card Carlos but I want also an ice version I
00:36:42
have money pumpkin no just come here he give him cash come here give me get cash get cash here Mone will you give me cold
00:36:48
is is pumpkin cold fo no give him 200 just in case thank you I think Bobby will want that too he wants ice I don't
00:36:55
think I don't think it cost $200 it does it does they do now they're expensive pumpkin spice yeah it's a really limited
00:37:01
spice yeah limited it is he's going to text M thank con you know Starbucks is right down the street y great yeah so
00:37:08
get me but I want mine iced whatever you get me and add two shots to it espresso he'll text you okay good and you get
00:37:15
these girls they want stuff too ask them what they want Mone well you guys just tell Carlos yeah tell Carlos all right
00:37:21
are you getting hot or cold pumpkin okay uh let's get let's get back
00:37:26
to where we are this is so exciting I know yeah yeah but now you're anyway thanks for the thoughts and I'm leaning
00:37:32
toward pumpkin now I like this a lot pretty good changing me dude it's great I love it power of thought you know
00:37:37
Ottomans and Nooks I don't know yet but no you'll get to trust me by the end of the episode ottoman you think so ottoman
00:37:43
you'll be there yeah Nook is a tougher one to get you on but ottom never going
00:37:49
to happen never going to happen you know one of the flight attendants on the flight back was was knitting something
00:37:54
yeah and uh it reminded me of how I used
00:37:59
to get knit stuff from family members so lucky and uh how much it means to me
00:38:05
when you get that that that's why the whites do that stuff because you get a knit thing from somebody and you go I
00:38:10
don't even it doesn't even matter if I don't love it it's so wonderful somebody made it and then guess what it goes
00:38:17
under the bed in a rubber Tupperware I know yeah you don't ever see it again you never see it again well it's like a lot of gifts there's a lot of things I
00:38:23
get you don't see it again but at the moment it matters it's nice that they made a thing like some one guy gave me a
00:38:29
SCA with my face on it yeah that was so dope no that was one we made oh oh he
00:38:34
actually took a board and just drew art on it I go that's cool and you that's
00:38:40
good thoughts well how about this the toys that I got you those custom toys where did you put those in your house oh like right in my living room you'll see
00:38:47
right right right right where everything is that makes me feel really good but that was a that was real good thoughts good sometimes the thoughts aren't good
00:38:53
well give me an example when thoughts aren't good what's the worst Pres I've gotten well you you mentioned any kind
00:38:59
of card yeah yeah of anything of at all I don't even know what it is they'll go
00:39:06
here here's CL climp andales climp andales the restaurant climp yeah I'm
00:39:12
just making climp andale climp andale yeah climp Andale yeah I've been there right and you're like what is this oh
00:39:17
it's you can get yarn oh right right and you're like oh thank you well and it
00:39:23
goes in a drawer I get it and then 10 years later like well clemdale car you I mean what are we going to do with it yeah um so I don't like that I don't
00:39:29
like [ __ ] like socks or tie any of that well what who's giving you socks my
00:39:37
brother used to give me spa socks every [ __ ] year that's cuz he's you know I know I know they love socks but they put them on their hands and their feet right
00:39:43
right what they put them on their hands and their feet yeah yeah oh this the reason I got that image in my head is because a guy that's helping out around
00:39:49
our house right now he had I I think he was trying to like he didn't have GL maybe one glove was missing he had a
00:39:56
sock on on his hand and I was like talking to who did we hire he had a full-blown sock well he
00:40:02
one hand had a glove the other one had a sock I think maybe it was for it was I don't know I so I did he put holes to
00:40:08
the fingers or it was just a sock it was like a mitt it was gloves it was a glove in a it had the color Stripes at the
00:40:14
bottom it was yeah it's like old school gym sick yeah yeah wow yeah cuz we're getting our yard dug up in the pipes or
00:40:21
can you help me with something though M I need somebody I don't know where to go I Googled it I I just need somebody to
00:40:28
put wallpaper up in my house oh I got the guy I have the guy and then also wood paneling and stuff like that yeah I
00:40:33
have the guy who I'll give it to you I'll give you is a good guy he unbelievable I don't want to give too much of a story away because it's not my
00:40:40
business but he was at one point someone of a name that people know it's going to blow your mind off the air and he he can
00:40:46
help me yeah he literally fixes he builds houses he used to be somebody you know like an architect like J no no no
00:40:52
he was anank was an actor he was an actor that was oh so it's an actor that I would if he came
00:40:58
overly [ __ ] you're good in SM young you would when he was young he was an actor
00:41:04
smid part two dude you were so good at that that SM Small Wonder yeah yeah small yeah so it's somebody I know you
00:41:10
will you might recognize the name yeah really and he fixes stuff can you do this and just tell me now I'll tell you off the air okay I got the guy you do
00:41:18
100% he's great okay and he's meticulous and he's slow and sweet and he listens to um Jazz while he does it he puts a
00:41:26
little jazz music on what's wrong with that I actually really enjoyed it I don't have to be there though right of course not
00:41:33
okay oh man we love door Dash so much door Dash Bobby uses door Dash literally
00:41:39
three times a day let me see something right now this is my door Dash don't show them I'm not going to show look at all the things I get oh my God it's my
00:41:45
favorite thing it says load more and I'm not going to do it but my point is is that when you're on the road or you're
00:41:50
at home wherever you are in the country if you want groceries y you want delicate food yep you want elegant food
00:41:56
y you want something fast Tac Taco you go to Door Dash you got to go to Door Dash ladies and gentlemen You' trusted
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00:42:14
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00:42:20
knows exactly what's going on if you miss something they got your back whether it's food or bleach for
00:42:26
something that you got to clean up what did you do what did you do whether you're ordering food tar for your house
00:42:33
a tarp bleach a shovel a rope maybe you're doing an outdoor backyard project
00:42:38
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order up to $20 when you try door Dash get some door Dash try it I don't like jazz as like you know like that goes
00:43:11
crazy I
00:43:17
like see that sounds like jazz that going crazy that doesn't sound like good jazz what no that's like you know I like
00:43:23
you like no that's fast too fast it's Smokey
00:43:29
it's Smokey I know what you don't like where it's like yeah and I'm walking in I have my suit on yeah yeah and I I I
00:43:36
lean with my cane I pull out a cigar right I do a little Jiggy I do little
00:43:43
right and then I fall over and I die right yeah but I like slow jazz slow
00:43:49
jazz yeah or I like the you know what's the the your people do like a not a
00:43:54
boson NOA but like oh yeah the what's what's the kind of music the impina mean
00:44:00
uhana Flamingo Flamingo no girl girl from
00:44:12
impas I like that I'm walking through an airport the
00:44:18
1960 yeah that's how that's how yeah that's good what kind of music is that you would know that's your people
00:44:25
Brazilian like a Brazilian that's not your people my bad you would like one of us the
00:44:30
social club I love that Cuba very good still not his people by the way but it's
00:44:37
adjacent can we learn to do Capa that's one of my favorite things you said is that the spinning martial arts yeah can
00:44:43
we learn to do that I already know how to do it dude get [ __ ] teach us do it right now can you get up and do I can do
00:44:52
Ka a yeah show me some cap I need a opponent yeah Carlos is going
00:45:00
Carlos well Carlos Carlos is your opponent okay all right well you better film it fans hold on need
00:45:07
some all right go ahead no no no let's see what's the copae to
00:45:23
music whoa you you [ __ ] lost dude whatever whatever
00:45:28
that was you lost what that was dope that's it dude dude you lost that you lost that ended so fast ended fast dude
00:45:36
don't you know how how dance battles take place yeah dude once you get embarrassed it's over it's over I'm
00:45:42
seeing Stars right now I'm just going to say you're about to pass out I'm about to pass out I'm seeing Stars right now
00:45:47
that was crazy dude when I put my my I don't even know what to say it the
00:45:52
weight on your arm arm dude it started trembling I started sing Stars I'm like this is a bad
00:45:58
idea hurt my stomach hurts a little he got me that's what it is d i that's c
00:46:03
yeah and I'm going to tell you dude I never even took a class get out of town you never took one class no way I think
00:46:11
that honestly I think that some people are born knowing the secrets of the martial arts you think you've got it in
00:46:18
you I think I'm Instinct I instinctually know all forms of martial arts simultaneously going within my body holy
00:46:26
[ __ ] and my spirit dud wow oh my God careful with those ow do you understand
00:46:32
ow that's what I'm saying how did you hit me from over there yeah and I don't even need to take a class dude no you don't I know how to Bow I love bow that
00:46:40
stuff's so good I Pork yeah well they're pork veeg red
00:46:46
red bean red bean red red bean no no that's sticky buns I like those that's red be red paste no not bow the [ __ ]
00:46:54
pastry what else bow yeah I will yeah I'll eat it I'll have it no like before you don't even know
00:47:03
what I'm saying what are you talking about bow The Dumpling no no no bow the actual gesture yeah like thank you for
00:47:08
the bow what is the gesture go come here Carlos
00:47:24
oh were you stretching back now kick him
00:47:30
again
00:47:37
what okay sorry so much violence on this show sorry I did hot yoga for the first
00:47:42
time oh [ __ ] it was really fun how hot was it it's like 98 degre or hotter no
00:47:49
it's got to be hotter than that yeah is that a boy band 30 98 degrees or hotter yeah no isn't isn't it a boy like 98
00:47:56
degrees or something yeah 90 degrees Nick Lee okay one of my boys dude one of my top dogs how hot is hot yoga it was
00:48:02
so hot I couldn't believe it I was thinking about you Bobby though if you were there and I just think you'd fart a
00:48:08
lot in that class between 90 and 108 I was if you [ __ ] you go to one of those things I'm calling an ambulance on the way there no I'm good in do you've
00:48:16
done Hot Yoga no dude you guys don't even understand my body dude I don't know if you understand your body I
00:48:22
because don't even comprehend the temperatures my body can take dud
00:48:28
I'm going to you know what you're going to come over to the house and get in the ice bath and let's see what you do let me tell you something ice bath yeah we got an ice I'm going to tell you
00:48:34
something right now okay at the Korean spa that I keep inviting you to yeah their ice plunge yeah is a legal yeah
00:48:43
because hasn't been cleaned in [ __ ] 40 years it's dirty you're right it's gross it's dirty but not getting in I
00:48:50
let me tell you something about the Korean spa do you D just [ __ ] racist dude yes I am I've said that on this
00:48:55
show for years I'm not going in a [ __ ] Spa with thousands of use that
00:49:02
go there [ __ ] you dude you guys in there
00:49:07
don't don't dude you don't yeah let me tell you something okay you want me to
00:49:13
go to a Korean spot I know they don't sanitize that [ __ ] place that's so un true it's untrue yeah you've never
00:49:20
gotten anything you've never gotten a toenail fungus from there or a athletes foot cuz I know you have you [ __ ] told me person personally go ahead and
00:49:27
say it I don't know where I got it yeah [ __ ] off where else I literally don't
00:49:32
know I could it be the place where people are nude and sweating all over each other okay how about this dude give it athletes foot athletes get it right
00:49:40
no no no no no no that they not get it and they get it by running no they don't
00:49:45
no they get it from sharing in their [ __ ] shoes from sharing showers that's what that's from from from Dirty
00:49:50
Feet bacterial infections in public places anyway you guys don't know about my my body and my temperature how much
00:49:56
it well then let's go to hot yoga together I'm down I'll do it my body can take all kinds it was so fun but Pompeo
00:50:02
I would have survived it did you tell the story about the Pompei or Ellen
00:50:07
Pompeo are you talking about Ellen Pompeo the actress no I'm talking about the politician okay okay is there is there a
00:50:15
politician named Pompeo yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm talking about him dude what about what about it go ahead babe did you tell the story about the shuttle bus
00:50:20
at the airport no don't tell that story okay no tell it we might have I I know how interesting it was but it was the
00:50:27
hardest I've laughed in so long all okay so we get off of there where was it what city was it oh God I don't even
00:50:33
Cleveland you guys were out without all right so we're at an airport and we take a shuttle you and I yeah we're the last
00:50:39
two on the last two and it's a packed shuttle packed and you know it's one of those shuttle it's all you you you girls
00:50:45
love it it's very All-American the shuttle they love no but the people that are in it it's like kids wearing
00:50:51
baseball they get just got back from a tournament family old women grandmothers
00:50:57
MH yeah hey what they have just like an apple pie with them or something yeah and a baseball the baseball was inside
00:51:04
the apple pie Amer yeah yeah and it's like and quiet and people and we have to stand cuz and
00:51:11
I'm wearing I'm listening to music but I go I go
00:51:17
uhoh it's a common you know how your mind does that right and I don't know
00:51:23
how so I have my music playing so I bent over a little bit no you walked to me and bent over onto me onto her and I
00:51:31
ripped one so loud whole loud right that the whole bus heard it yeah right the
00:51:38
all- American bus yeah it was so Qui and people were like you're like right but one father an old white
00:51:44
gentleman along with her tears in his eyes laughing so hard he was laughing so hard the lady
00:51:51
behind you you didn't see her she was laughing too oh she was yeah yeah it was that loud it was
00:51:57
like and then the right after the bus driver goes ladies and gentlemen are you ready for the shuttle so like no one
00:52:04
could react to it yeah no one could really react to it but it he hear it the bus driver didn't hear it everyone heard the [ __ ] bus tremble yeah yeah yeah
00:52:11
it was like that but good you would have laughed so hard and he was so quiet in there and then he walked like then we're
00:52:17
on the bus it's like 2 minutes into the ride and he walks over to me and goes was that loud I have my headphones in
00:52:23
yeah yeah yeah just a little and she was laughing so we had what a moment you know you and I have moments huh on the road we got some
00:52:29
moment some good good moments I'm glad I missed that one it was I can't explain it that's one I'm happy I cuz I was in
00:52:36
Chicago with my family not getting farted that good yeah cuz you know I would have been like
00:52:42
Bob like a dad I was upset but guess what did it smell it did there okay my
00:52:49
bad my bad my bad my bad my bad my bad I apologize on the bus side you thought
00:52:56
you were going to cruise right over [Applause] that you shot it right down it
00:53:02
did made it so much funnier than because it's like floating yeah you know I I you
00:53:08
know I miss our little meals at the airport we're going we're going back out
00:53:13
I know but just thinking about the you know tour the little meals you and I remember that little wine bar restaurant
00:53:20
that we sat at 8 yeah that was really nice that was really nice are you at the store tonight I have one show tonight
00:53:25
yes let's get dinner before I'm at the store let's get dinner from here to the store yeah yeah yeah what time do you
00:53:32
going up 10:30 I'm at 10:30 oh really you're not in the same room we're not in the same room don't worry how long have
00:53:38
you what room are you in the belly room yeah oh yeah the small one the tiny
00:53:43
one she is small she's a small yeah yeah yeah but that but that changes are coming soon I know it the shift is
00:53:50
coming all right let's hand out the coffee real fast let's let's get some coffee in here mcone boney
00:54:00
oo thank you ah did Jesse get one is it pumpkin o
00:54:08
cheers cheers to Pumpkin dude I'm telling you right now very good you like
00:54:14
it oh man dude I'm in dude I'm white you're white I'm in dude you're white
00:54:20
I'm white now dude one of us one of us think mine's
00:54:25
vanilla oh I wasn't sure if I should say something but it's kind of funny cuz we were talking about the pumpkin you're
00:54:31
all vanilla why did you get her vanilla I just followed What Carlos tell it says vanilla cold foam I didn't write vanilla
00:54:39
I said cold brew with cold foam it's okay it's okay it's just funny cuz all it was pum no honestly cuz I'm not going
00:54:47
to have it it's a waste please do it why CU you can't you're not going to be able to sleep tonight I'm allergic to Pumpkin I should have mentioned
00:54:54
something this felt like a bad idea why did I do this to myself imagine I just turn into a
00:55:00
pumpkin uh what did we learn today I learned I actually learn I learned about thoughts and you learn important you
00:55:06
might be white I might be white will you do me a favor Carlos will you get on like Wayfair and buy him an ottoman right now and ship it to his house I
00:55:12
just want to see how you feel about an ottoman once we put it in your house I've never had one but I don't know what to do with it I bet you do have one and
00:55:18
you just don't know what is yeah you have a couch right yeah do you have another piece of the couch where your feet go on yeah that's an you have an
00:55:24
ottoman yeah oh that's what an ottoman is oh you're white dude Oh I thought it
00:55:29
was more like an Ottoman Empire kind of thing I'm about to blow your mind what what I'm about to blow your mind go
00:55:34
ahead you have a little I mean I've been to your house you have a a formal dining room right there's a place to eat right
00:55:41
there's also a little part off your kitchen that's not really a dining area but it's just kind of like a little place to like you could snack right yeah
00:55:48
that's a Nook buddy dude you're so white you're the [ __ ] whitest friend I have
00:55:54
you're so [ __ ] white but I never go in there it's a
00:56:00
Twinkie okay
00:56:06
okay oh my god dude that's a layer joke that's so good holy [ __ ] give him credit
00:56:14
dude what the [ __ ] did you call me dude you are the twinkie of this show holy [ __ ] that's so good and explain Twinkie
00:56:21
for the viewers that doesn't know and I'm a is peanut butter cup yeah yeah yeah yeah so so you are yeah you are I
00:56:29
really am yeah so tell me what a Twinkie is my friend yeah what to the audience what do you mean by TW buddy it's like
00:56:35
yellow on the outside but white on the inside interesting interesting
00:56:41
interesting cuz I grew up during the suburbs MH mhm wow dude Twinkie is
00:56:48
pretty good yeah Twinkie is a very good thing and also kind of say something then what do you call somebody that's
00:56:53
just full on just yellow what about you what do you call it well
00:57:00
what is full yellow i i i the reason why I ask I don't know I can tell you tell me I call you behind your back sometimes
00:57:07
what do you call me lemon head that's full yellow that's full yellow all the way through dude you're
00:57:14
right dude lemon head yeah or a lemon no lemon head something about the lemon head yeah yeah like bring up an image of
00:57:20
lemon head the guy you know the guy in the Box how is that not you a that's my
00:57:26
little you're my little lemon head dude I'm a [ __ ] lemon head dude when people and I'm not you know dude let me say something to you I'm not mad at that
00:57:33
dude I know it's sweet yeah yeah you're my little lemon head when they say when people come to the studio and they go
00:57:38
what goes on in here I say me and my little Lemonhead doe a showing from here yeah this is me and my lemon head it's great dude I don't like the do
00:57:45
you like that candy though no it's not candy I think it's a trick I think they [ __ ] put it out
00:57:52
just to [ __ ] with you no one ever likes there's no chance someone gets a box of look at that guy remember that guy from
00:57:57
the commercials W do him as a guy look at him look at that yeah look do you not remember these commercials no I don't
00:58:03
dude a horror show go to YouTube bring up lemon he this was insane they ran these for a short amount of time they
00:58:08
were nightmare inducing dude that okay this is one of the candies by the way that was handed out sometimes if you see
00:58:15
someone at the movie theater getting a box of lemon heads yeah leave I'm not watching the movie with that guy yeah
00:58:21
yeah yeah yeah that's a sicko yeah and what's a juju wa can't say that man it
00:58:26
was just yum kapor but be juu be juu be yeah Juju be what
00:58:34
is a JuJu be yeah I cuz I had it there's no flavor it's just chewy they're gross
00:58:40
yeah I mean is Juju be it's a juu is Juju be good no they're
00:58:47
not no it doesn't even look it's no it's that it's a colorful ones oh I was just going to say I did get a really good
00:58:52
candy recently and it's these little tiny gummies with mini nerds sprinkled oh those are so good so good it's nerds
00:58:58
wrapped around like a gummy Squishy in the inside so the outside is a ball of nerds and the inside is a squishy thing
00:59:03
so good I know all the door guys at the mother sh are eating them nerds gummy clusters they're so good wao dude I got
00:59:09
to get one of those dude top [ __ ] those are top [ __ ] see they combine two things into one let's do that right now with a
00:59:14
different candy you got it go yeah here we go we take um you know I know what
00:59:20
candy corn I'm already out yeah it's like the worst it's the worst candy ever made and
00:59:26
you put it with circus peanuts yeah circus peanuts you're like
00:59:33
what if we wrap Juju bees with tic tacs it's like well no yeah all right by the
00:59:39
way Tic Tacs breath Min white the orange ones Candy yeah what was that breath mints were the white one they said the
00:59:45
other ones were breath mins but the orange ones were just candy yeah I never used that wasn't a mint that was candy yeah that's true what are the two things
00:59:51
you'll wrap okay I got one okay you know the Chinese think speaking of
00:59:57
Chinese that invisible that invisible
01:00:02
communism what are you talking about that invisible cloak sweeter than
01:00:08
communism no man I wait what let me get it out all right it's that WAP that
01:00:14
melts in your mouth it's an invisible oh the Listerine strip they're like
01:00:22
listening more breath yeah yeah wait it's an invisible You' never seen this before the candy with
01:00:28
the [ __ ] invisible I thought you talking about the it's like a clear dots on it
01:00:33
no there's a piece of candy a Chinese candy and the on the outside of it is like it's like a how do I explain it I
01:00:41
think you were scam no it's a clear [ __ ] you man it's a clear like wrap and it it
01:00:47
melts in your mouth how much do you pay for the invisible candy what does it taste
01:00:53
like give me another hundred I have some
01:00:58
here invisible Chinese wrap paper candy yeah yeah yeah invisible Chinese wrap
01:01:04
paper candy paper candy yeah what does it taste like what does it taste like Bud oh is that a 50 sheets of
01:01:09
transparent edible GL that's that no that's rice paper that's rice paper are you eating rice
01:01:15
paper they use that for baking I swear to [ __ ] God man that no that's gelatin
01:01:22
it's a candy with um put this out honestly right Chinese yeah
01:01:30
candy yeah with um it melts in your mouth like there's a
01:01:36
piece a it's a a lay a layer it's like a sheet like a
01:01:43
sheet wrapped around a candy that melts in your mouth before the candy what's the candy inside oh like a Gob
01:01:50
stopper no those are Everlasting oh right right right right oh no no that
01:01:55
that that White Rabbit cre White Rabbit dude I never had that buddy yeah what in
01:02:02
the [ __ ] is this white rabbit cream yeah dude is
01:02:07
that the code name of the girl that came over to Carlos's house cream candy yeah it's a cream and
01:02:14
there's a yeah see see the outside it's a paper and you just eat that you eat it and the paper melts in your mouth first
01:02:21
see that paper yeah and then you get to the [ __ ] rabbit you know what happened these poor little Chinese yeah
01:02:28
these poor little Chinese kids they just don't know how to they just forgot to unwrap it and then the company was like yeah eat it fine [ __ ] it whatever order
01:02:35
a bag of that for us please yeah you're going to love it I want to have a bag of that for the studio I mean it does it looks just like taffy yeah is that what
01:02:42
it is it's delicious though it's that creamy and it's very light now do we like taffy do you like taffy saltwater
01:02:49
taffy I never you know at when I go to when I go to fairs I don't eat it what do you eat at the fair then
01:02:55
you got to get T I get anything that's fried like a like a you know deep fried Oreos deep fried something something
01:03:00
deep fried Oreos are unbelievable we got so many great snacks of that Cracker Barrel also fudge you guys love fudge no
01:03:07
no no no not all the whites I'm not a big fudgy guy me either what's up with like big blocks of fudge n some whites
01:03:14
like that yeah some whites like that yeah are you the type of whites okay she's a little bit of a fudge girl yeah
01:03:19
yeah yeah you got a little Little Fudge she'll pack a little bit of fudge in but not much but here's but can I say what guys
01:03:25
do is a true delight and thank you so much caramel apples I don't like them
01:03:33
wrong they hurt you're wrong that's where you lost all your teeth okay oh don't make fun of my dental [ __ ] Hy I so
01:03:40
you know what's going to make you feel better about that bring up Johnny Depp's teeth it just went viral the other day I mean look at this guy this looks like my
01:03:46
fence it looks like my fence in my front yard zoom in on that oh [ __ ] look at
01:03:51
that no that's the picture right next to it that's the one right there no the square one bud that's
01:03:56
one that's his teeth after the that they just got a photo of him now look I'm not being mean but yes I am what's going on
01:04:02
are you eating mud that's so rude maybe he did that for Pirates of the cariban that's exactly what he did you know what
01:04:08
this was method he was shooting is it poop He was shooting an episode of is it poop it does look like meth was involved
01:04:15
yeah that I mean does he I mean he's a millionaire this was
01:04:21
butt Pirates of the Caribbean he was eating so much ass yeah he's a multi multi-millionaire butd pirates of the
01:04:28
caran he was on the high seas oh I forgot this okay can you do a
01:04:33
different give me go give me to do like okay let's go to the Pirates one those are prosthetic so those are fake look
01:04:39
look at that those are fake those are nice though those are fake teeth that's not his real teeth those look better than his real teeth yeah yeah that's
01:04:45
interesting no it's not interesting it's crazy yeah yeah what do you but but ladies even though he has [ __ ] up
01:04:51
teeth you'd still hook not after the Amber her trial they wouldn't yeah what are you talking about no really honestly
01:04:57
if Johnny Deb asks you out on a date Johnny Deb are you single are you sing
01:05:02
are you single no okay [ __ ] it if you single you are you're single right well let's get a poll of all three if you
01:05:07
were single and Johnny de asked you on a date what would you go out no what if would you go out no that's a no from her
01:05:14
real fast this one's pausing not Austin why not like why not she just wants to experience right know she's she wants to
01:05:20
experience yeah it's that's how it starts then a couple months later you're pooping in his bed to get back at him
01:05:27
throwing a glass at your face in the living room I wonder if there's a woman out there that's beautiful that has controversy like Johnny de that I
01:05:33
wouldn't date uh Ellen well there's a couple reasons that that wouldn't happen would oh yeah yeah
01:05:40
I forgot about controversial a controversial public figure Roseanne yeah Roseanne would you date
01:05:47
Roseanne you know I mean I have a thing for her she actually is I love her Amanda Knox would you date Amanda the
01:05:54
Knox she just did our Show in Seattle you know that right yeah would you date her if you were single she's a nice woman you we have to name a
01:05:59
controversial woman that you would go on a date with who's got some who's controversial Hollywood female starlets
01:06:04
now Amber Her Amber herd right the easiest one there you go because I because of the trail I just know things
01:06:10
about I just we wouldn't get along oh I know Amanda bin oh yeah I but I know
01:06:16
Amanda so no I don't wouldn't do it you guys aren so famous we can't play this game no I knew her because what about
01:06:22
Kim Kardashian oh yeah yeah no thanks yeah yeah you wouldn't go out with her I already have we dated a
01:06:28
couple years ago you did right after Ray J okay yeah
01:06:34
what about Kaylin Jenner she's got she killed somebody oh yeah would I do it
01:06:40
you know I would do it for the optics oh because it's good publicly or what about um what's what's the one it be like
01:06:46
kayin Jenner and her purse show up to one of the imagine how small you'd be next to
01:06:53
her she like 6'4 65 she [ __ ] one of the greatest Olympians of
01:06:58
all time oh you're saying that I would look like a purse yeah yeah I just mean like she brought like like a little bag
01:07:04
like a mobile fetish she brought she put like a string on you and carry around I couldn't be like her like madx I don't
01:07:11
think so you might be her ottoman adopted kid
01:07:17
no bag bag you're a little purse no then I don't I can't there's no controversial
01:07:22
no controver woman love what's controversial about her she killed kirco Bain Jesus oh my God mcain [ __ ] McCain
01:07:32
is it John MC John McCain dude his new nickname is McCain 100% McCain here we go all right Lindsay Lohan 100% 100% I
01:07:40
wouldn't even think twice yeah yeah I would go out with her Britney Spears 100% bring the knives yeah bring the knives Madonna Madonna 100% dude Madonna
01:07:48
change accents while we're talking Nicki Minaj oh wouldn't Nicki Minaj is not controversial she's the [ __ ] yeah yeah
01:07:54
what did she do uh Kim Kardashian who says Roseanne Bar what about hararia
01:08:00
Baldwin who's from America but says she's from fancy yeah yeah yeah all
01:08:07
those girls all the way across and halfway [ __ ] what did she do yeah what she do what did she do just don't like her I don't give a [ __ ] also can I
01:08:14
just say about her great actress yeah [ __ ] so good no [ __ ] great actress who's kangana
01:08:20
rut who is it who's this Ral oh she's a Bollywood star yeah
01:08:28
no yeah she's Bollywood star now that would be a land what
01:08:34
marrying a Bollywood star yeah do you know how successful those people are over there it would blow your mind
01:08:39
they're were the richest they're they're like our movie stars are [ __ ] compared to people but can I say
01:08:45
something yeah they only want light skinned Indians to make it well look at how lightskinned you are yeah I'm not
01:08:51
Indian you could be what you didn't know that no I'm I mean
01:09:00
who you're right I am I am I am I am
01:09:05
idiot yeah because even in certain of these countries they they prefer lighter skinned of their people that's the same
01:09:12
thing in your countries we're just lightskinned no but Japanese like that no dark well that's why that's why
01:09:17
Japanese carry around umbrellas and stuff for the sun they don't want to get any pigmentation in their yeah but why is that a thing in in the world that
01:09:23
like W it's racist it's racist but it's also like even it's class it's a yeah
01:09:28
it's a form of class right it's class system because if you worked outside your skin was darker this goes back this is this is this is his old as time so if
01:09:36
you were a a a light-skinned Spaniard right it meant that you were wealthy enough to not have to work outside right
01:09:42
that's all it was and then if you're and then if you're a guy that you know [ __ ] hookers on Hollywood Boulevard you're
01:09:49
Carlos yeah you're Mexican yeah but it's not Hollywood Boulevard Santa Monica
01:09:54
sorry he's mad at you today did you see that I know I'm not mad at him you're you're in a little bit of a Nook a Nook
01:10:00
yourself right now you're in a little eating Nook well it's cuz he kicked me earlier are you still in pain from this
01:10:05
you knew it was going to happen when you challenged him brother you don't challenge Bobby and caea you're going to
01:10:11
get [ __ ] worse yeah no it's my [ __ ] fault well I got to tell you we learned a lot today and I'm happy that
01:10:17
you're white thank you it changes my whole perspective on our friendship and I love being it thanks for thanks for having me what can I get if I I'm a part
01:10:24
of the club now what do I get drink some more pumpkin spice latte oh yeah do I get like a lake view house you get
01:10:29
anything you want baby I can get in a lake view house you'll be up I'm white now you'll be near the lake you won't be on can I go to the country clubs you can
01:10:36
you can come to the dinner functions work there you mean like poor water yeah yeah okay
01:10:45
thank you thank you for being white thank you for being a bad
01:10:52
friend [Music]
01:10:58
woo
01:11:03
wo [Music]
01:11:11
wo
