00:00:00
You two are bad friends. >> Who are these two idiots? >> A white dude and an Asian dude. You two
00:00:07
are disgusting. >> Oh, you two are something. >> We're bad friends.
00:00:12
>> Finally, I saw an eye doctor today. >> What did the doc say? >> He We took a bunch of tests.
00:00:16
>> Yeah. Like what? Like a a bfq. >> No, he he said there was one word called
00:00:20
hov. >> Hov. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. He goes, "What does that say >> there?" It said hotov.
00:00:23
>> Yeah. Hotov. Yeah. Yeah. And I go, "Um, amlim." >> Yeah. Yeah. And he goes, "That's way
00:00:29
off, right?" Both eyes. Then he scanned the inner tal of all where all the like
00:00:35
um >> That's only an Asian cell. That's only an Asian thing. >> Yeah, I know.
00:00:38
>> They don't have to do that for us. >> And what you know what the cells are?
00:00:40
They're squinty. >> The cells were squinty, dude. >> Even the cells under microscope.
00:00:45
>> Yeah. Yeah. >> Wait, get up that get that test up and let me see if we can do it. Ready, Bob?
00:00:49
You >> I already know. Okay. >> Okay. Well, that's not Do the other one
00:00:52
you just had. There it is. >> This one. Okay. What are you going to do? >> No, I want to do
00:00:55
>> Well, you're I'm closer. Your eyes are way better than mine. >> No, I just want to see what line you can
00:01:00
get down to. So, the first first >> from here. >> No, one, two, and three are fine. Do the
00:01:03
fourth line. Fourth line down. >> T H V O H T O V. >> Next one. >> Here we go.
00:01:12
>> H V T O T V H V T O. >> Great. Next one. >> Now I'm done. Q2 N.
00:01:19
>> No, Q. It's O again. I mean, the letters are the same in every single
00:01:23
>> Okay. My point is is that >> and the bottom one. Can you do that one?
00:01:26
I can't do the bottom one. >> V O T H T O. >> Wow. >> Wow.
00:01:31
>> That one's teeny tiny from here. >> Yeah. So I >> But but the doctor said you have
00:01:36
>> you have long distance. >> He's got little Asian eyes. >> I love that.
00:01:40
>> You have long distance. And he goes, "I want to show you something. It's a
00:01:44
miracle." And I go, "What is it?" He goes, "Walk outside with me." So he was
00:01:48
Asian, by the way. >> He's like, "Can I get a picture?" He was Asian, by the way. And he goes,
00:01:54
"Look over there. What do you see?" I go, I don't know nothing. And he put
00:01:58
these glasses on me. I go, those are trees. Like literally, I saw nothing. And he
00:02:07
put the glasses on. This is across the street. I saw trees. Dude, >> you act like this is crazy science. It's
00:02:13
just glasses. >> I know, but I've never had them before. And then >> this is like when babies get colear
00:02:19
implants and they can hear. >> So, what I'm saying is that >> 19 What? What is that? Glasses were
00:02:25
invented in 1268. They've been around. >> I know. I HAVEN'T CAUGHT UP YET, DUDE.
00:02:29
OKAY. But when you you know, BECAUSE I'M YOU KNOW, I know, >> dude. Since the 13th century, we've had
00:02:36
glasses. >> I know. I There's an Asian guy wearing them. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They've been wearing
00:02:40
them for years. Yeah. Yeah. >> It's amazing. >> So So, um I'm getting I don't know what
00:02:44
they're called, but I'm getting the distance one. You know, all my cool glasses I wear,
00:02:50
>> I'm getting both lenses >> prescriptions. Yeah. I'm gonna The top
00:02:53
is going to be long distance and the bottom is going to be so I can read up front.
00:02:57
>> Yeah. >> Oh, so you really you'll be data. You'll be actually data.
00:02:59
>> I'll be data. But it's so funny. After I took the glasses off, >> everything seemed blurry.
00:03:06
>> Well, Christ. >> So, right now everything seems blurry. So, maybe I can't see.
00:03:10
>> Well, did they do the drops in your eyes? >> No. >> Wait, don't they do that right when you
00:03:15
dilate your eyes? Dude, let me just say something to you >> because I'm not in the best mood and I
00:03:20
would like to say something to everyone. Not you >> to these three. Okay. >> Mhm.
00:03:24
>> I don't do drop by. >> Okay. I went to >> You have drop by?
00:03:29
>> I have drop. >> You don't do drop. >> I don't do drop by. I have Drop by.
00:03:32
Yeah. Yeah. >> So why can't you read them? >> No, I'm saying.
00:03:38
>> Dude, >> you take it. You know what? Unbutton one more button. >> Yeah. Yeah. Unbutton one more button.
00:03:44
>> Unbutton one more. Little pork >> with a deru shirt. I don't know what
00:03:47
it's called. >> That's a good thing. >> Now, let me just say something.
00:03:52
>> Why don't you unbutton one button? >> All right. So, I went to I I called my
00:03:56
assistant and I said, "I don't want I want future shit." >> Oh, yeah. Yeah.
00:04:03
>> So, so they had me in a lab with machinery. Yeah. >> And And you know what I mean? You know
00:04:09
what I mean? >> Give me what NASA does. >> Yeah. That's what NASA did. So they they
00:04:13
were able to see the interior of my eye, the actual thing. And guess what? He goes, "Your eyesight is going to be fine
00:04:19
until your 80s." >> Cuz you have good eyes. >> Yeah. He says, he asked me some genetic
00:04:23
questions. There's no blindness. >> Does your mom have glasses? >> No.
00:04:27
>> My dad did though, >> right? >> And my brother does. >> Steve does.
00:04:30
>> Yeah, he does. Yeah. Cuz he caught it early. >> Yeah. Once you catch it early.
00:04:34
>> Yeah. Yeah. But so now what I'm going to do is I'm going to do everything with
00:04:37
glasses on. Even make love. >> You have to have them. >> Yeah. Because I don't think I've seen
00:04:42
it. Right. >> Right. >> Yeah. Everything's been blurry. >> That's where all your confusion.
00:04:47
>> That's my BELLY BUTTON. WHAT? >> WHAT? >> YEAH. YEAH. I'm going to see it. He
00:04:52
goes, "You're going to see life in high death >> HD." >> Yeah. For the first time. But then I go,
00:04:59
"When I get 3 weeks?" >> Well, yeah. It takes They got to make them, right? It's got to be
00:05:03
>> Well, I want my style. >> Yeah. >> So, I'm taking my you mean the glasses I
00:05:06
wear. I'm going to punch out all those you mean lenses and put those lenses.
00:05:10
>> They'll do They'll do custom. >> Oh, they're doing they're doing custom
00:05:12
work for >> Give me Give me the lyrics to the song. Uh, Betty Davis Eyes. >> Betty D. Yeah. Well, it's spelled wrong,
00:05:19
but that's fine. Betty, it'll get there. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:05:21
>> His hair is bre. >> Wait, don't do it in an Asian accent. >> I didn't.
00:05:26
>> Yeah. >> I don't even know. >> Marlo, >> what does that even
00:05:31
>> Marlo Gold? Yeah, but it's I just like this part. She's got Betty. She got
00:05:35
Betty. >> He's got little Asian eyes. Yeah. And he'll tease you. He'll you
00:05:43
>> all the better just to please you. >> Bob's precocious. Yeah.
00:05:48
>> And he knows just what it takes to make a pro blush. I love it. Yeah. >> She's got Greta Garbos. Greta Garbo
00:05:56
standoff size. Bobb's got little Asian eyes. Beautiful. >> She's got Genghask Khan standout. Right.
00:06:03
Let's change it. >> Standoff size. Genghaskhan standoff size. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:06:06
>> You have beautiful little eyes. I went to the dentist this morning. What? And
00:06:09
let me guess, >> brother. They say the same thing every time. >> You got two?
00:06:12
>> No, I got zero this time. >> Thank God. >> But but they say the same thing every
00:06:15
time. And she's so nice about it. >> Do you are you have you been How much
00:06:21
are you flossing? >> Uh >> I said I am flossing. She said, "How
00:06:25
much?" I said, "Almost never." >> YEAH. >> I'm honest about it.
00:06:30
>> All right. I'm going to show you something. All right, guys. >> I mean, I'm trying.
00:06:32
>> I know you're trying. >> Okay. How about this? I'm going to get
00:06:34
in one maybe two days a week. >> I always have. >> You do? You're good.
00:06:38
>> Yeah. Yeah, but I've been using this one for a year. >> It's the same one.
00:06:44
>> It's the same one. >> But it doesn't even have a string on it
00:06:46
anymore. It's gone. >> It's the Yeah, string's gone. But >> how many days a week are you flossing
00:06:49
for real? >> Every day. >> Every day. What about you? >> Every day.
00:06:52
>> Three times a week. >> Three. >> Four. >> Four. >> Mhm.
00:06:56
>> Wow. I'm way behind. >> Rest on the weekends. >> Yeah. >> Well, God needed I do one to two days a
00:07:01
week because it's like on the move and and you know what it really is? It's
00:07:03
usually after a big meal out. But if like today I had smoothie and a [ __ ] It's like
00:07:08
>> I'm going to I'm brushing three day three times a three times day. No,
00:07:12
you're not. >> No, I brush in the morning when I get home and then before I go to bed.
00:07:14
>> Okay. I don't think so. >> My mom No, my mom did it to me. My mom
00:07:18
did midday. >> What about this? Morning floss and then night. >> Morning floss instead of
00:07:23
>> Yeah. The midday one just floss. >> I like the midday brush because then in
00:07:27
case my wife and I have a midday hookup, it's a nice brush cuz then you have
00:07:29
fresh breath in the middle of the day. >> I do a midday poo. I do three. >> I do that while I'm pooing. Brush. Okay.
00:07:34
Okay. >> It's one of the same. >> Yeah. >> But I that don't see he's agreeing. A
00:07:37
midday brush is really nice. >> You you know what the dentist told me? I have so many missing teeth. He said by
00:07:42
the age of 60, all of them are going to fall out. >> Congrats. That's huge.
00:07:46
>> So then I don't know what to do. >> Well, your vision will be good, but your
00:07:48
mouth will be >> perfect vision with gums. >> Yeah, >> I can see everything.
00:08:00
>> I'm [ __ ] >> [ __ ] I'm [ __ ] >> Wait, what? By the way, you're just
00:08:02
going to get end up getting what everybody gets is caps. Everybody gets caps now.
00:08:05
>> No. What? No. What they have to do is drill into my bone. >> But wait a minute. Veneers are different
00:08:10
than um caps. You can just get caps on. >> No. He said that my teeth are so weak.
00:08:16
>> Why? >> I don't know why. >> You have, let me see. You have great
00:08:19
teeth. >> I know, but they're weak. The foundations and the root, it's all
00:08:23
[ __ ] >> I have like gingivis number five or whatever. >> But Koreans usually have very strong
00:08:27
teeth. You can look this up. Koreans are actually known to have some of the strongest teeth in the world.
00:08:30
>> Yeah. So, how come you didn't get that? I >> I don't know. Genetically, I got the
00:08:34
armpit thing, but that's it. >> You did get the armpit thing. Yeah. Yeah.
00:08:36
>> Look at this. Yes. Look at this. Zoom in. Many Koreans have strong, healthy
00:08:39
teeth. A culture of meticulous oral hygiene. Prevalent 333 rule. Brushing three times a day. Told you.
00:08:45
>> Three minutes each. I'm telling you, in Kore Koreans are known for having
00:08:48
phenomenal teeth. This was an exception. >> This one was an exception to the rule.
00:08:51
And that's why he's the most famous Korean in the world. Watch your [ __ ]
00:08:53
mouth, Spaniard. >> Yeah, you bastard. You know, the disrespect is out of and out of control
00:08:58
today. >> You've been nuts today. Yeah, he was came with an attitude this morning.
00:09:01
>> I know. Hey, he was on the phone in the parking lot. >> I saw >> and he waved ME OFF.
00:09:05
>> I SAW I SAW I saw >> waved me off. >> I This is what he did. Okay. I saw I saw
00:09:09
I saw everything. Okay. >> He comes out of Right. goes towards your car. I left a space for you cuz I know
00:09:16
how angry you get. >> Thank you. >> If I'm park close. >> Well, cuz the doors hit cuz our parking
00:09:20
spots were made were made by Brad Williams designed our parking lot. >> Yeah. Yeah. So, I put a space between us
00:09:26
and he comes out and he's the the door's literally between our cars and he goes
00:09:31
towards you for some business information. >> Andrew busy, >> right? Then I and you're on the phone.
00:09:37
You're busy. So, I'm available and I turn to Andrew and I go, "Is there
00:09:42
anything I can help with you?" He goes, "Nope." >> I go, "Can I help with something?" He
00:09:46
goes, "You can't do." >> What were you on the Who are you on the
00:09:49
phone with? Who are you on the phone with? Hot shot. You're being a hot shot.
00:09:52
Who are you on the phone with? Hot shot. You don't want to say. >> Yeah, it's a business. It's a secret
00:09:56
business thing, but he goes, >> "It's something I can talk to you
00:09:59
about." >> And I'm like, "Okay." >> All right. So, I guess I got nothing.
00:10:05
>> You explain. >> Is Yeah, I got nothing. >> I told you you're not going to do it.
00:10:10
>> You can. >> That's true. But still ask. >> But still, he wants to know.
00:10:14
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Still ask. >> Dude, my hands are cramping up so bad.
00:10:17
>> Drink some drink that other water. >> Like everything's cramping up, dude.
00:10:21
What do they do to you at the eye doctor? >> No, I haven't been drinking water all
00:10:24
day. >> We got to have some water. >> Okay, I'll tell you why I'm in a bad
00:10:26
mood. >> Ow. I swear to God. I swear to God. I am cramping up everything. >> How do you solve hand cramps? Here we
00:10:34
go. Gently stretch. Get some electrodes. Massage the affected area. Uh mone, will
00:10:38
you come massage his hands, please? >> No, I'm being real, dude. Everything is
00:10:41
cramping. >> Do we have those heat things you put your hand in? Do we have that hand heat
00:10:44
thing again? Where's the hand massager? Didn't we buy one of those? >> I think I'm fine. I'm fine. You don't
00:10:49
you don't have to shake it >> or massage it. So today, just now before
00:10:53
I got here, I'm gonna tell you what restaurant, but I was sitting at a restaurant, right? And there was a girl
00:10:58
and three guys sitting at a table right next to mine. >> Okay. >> Do you imagine?
00:11:01
>> I've seen that movie. >> Okay. The whole table goes high. We're
00:11:05
big fans. >> Yeah. >> Right. And the girl goes, "Yeah, I'm a
00:11:08
big fan. I have bad friends this." I go, "That's fine." I go I go, "But one of
00:11:11
these guys your boyfriends?" And she goes, "No, no, no. They're just friends
00:11:14
of mine." I go, "Uh oh." I go, "What are you looking for in a guy?" And she goes,
00:11:18
"Not Asian." >> Wow. Did they laugh? >> I WASN'T EVEN HITTING ON HER, DUDE.
00:11:23
>> WELL, if you say to a girl, "What are you looking for?" Okay,
00:11:27
>> I just >> Time out. You said, "Do you have a boyfriend?"
00:11:30
>> Cramping the [ __ ] up, guy. >> That she got me all cramped up, guy.
00:11:33
>> Do you have a boyfriend? I don't. What are you looking for in a guy? It seems
00:11:37
like you're maybe saying, "Are you interested in I?" >> No, because they First of all,
00:11:41
>> he was just being >> Oh, you're an What's ank? You're a king.
00:11:48
>> What is uncle? >> Unk is like what the kids the kids call us. >> Like uncle.
00:11:52
>> Yeah. I was I was being polite. >> Yeah. >> Right. I go, "Oh, are any of these guys
00:11:58
your boyfriend?" Which is And they're like, "No, we're just They were like,
00:12:01
"We're just friends." >> But that is an encline. Like ank says
00:12:03
something like, "Uh, man, that is a that's a short skirt for a day like
00:12:06
today." That's an encline. >> Oh, really? >> It's an encline.
00:12:10
>> All right. So, I did. That was an enk. >> Youked it. >> Yeah. But could she say something? Oh my
00:12:14
god. Could she say something different? >> Okay, I'll be the girl. Ready? Yeah. Go
00:12:17
ahead. >> I go, um, you have to approach me first. I'm eating. >> Hey, we're huge fans. I just want to
00:12:23
tell you we're huge fans. >> Thank you. >> Yeah. >> Oh. Um, are these
00:12:28
When are you these guys your boyfriend? >> No, these are all my friends. We're just
00:12:31
friends. >> Oh, cool. Oh, so you're single? >> I am. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What kind of guys are
00:12:36
you looking for? >> Tall guys. >> Oh, cool. Much better. >> Tall guys. guys who you know guys who
00:12:45
are like Mayflower material. >> What do you mean by that? Like who can build a ship?
00:12:49
>> People who came over on one of his first couple boats. >> Oh, I see. I see.
00:12:56
>> Yeah. People >> like Amastad. >> People who own people like you.
00:12:59
>> Oh, not Amastad. >> No. No. Opposite. >> Opposite of Amastad.
00:13:04
>> People who own those boats. >> Oh, the people that own the boats.
00:13:07
>> Those are the guys I own. >> Oh, okay. >> Yeah. Do you own a boat?
00:13:09
>> Uh, a yacht. >> You own a yacht? Yeah. How big? >> Pretty [ __ ] big.
00:13:14
>> How many feet? >> Have you heard of haunt virus? >> Is that you?
00:13:16
>> That's my yacht. >> You guys are at it again. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:13:22
>> By the way, don't get me started cuz I've You're the fourth person today
00:13:25
who's talked about it. >> Freaking out about it. >> I'm going to tell you about it.
00:13:30
>> Don't do a conspira. It's not >> It's a con. I'm going to tell you about
00:13:33
it. >> Bring it up. >> No, you don't have to even bring it up. Don't bring it up. I will tell you about
00:13:38
it. Ask me. >> Don't bring it up. He's going to bring it up. >> Yeah. Ask me. Okay. Is the haunt virus
00:13:43
going to be the next uh plague, viral plague? >> Nope. >> Why is that?
00:13:48
>> Because uh >> because we've gotten all of the bad food out of the way.
00:13:52
>> No. No. >> He's going to take respect. >> I'll tell I'll tell you why. Okay. Um
00:13:55
there's different strains of this virus. >> Just like CO. >> Just like CO,
00:14:00
>> but most of the Don't look it up, man. >> Don't look it up.
00:14:02
>> Don't look it up, guy. Most of the strains you get are it from rats.
00:14:06
>> So if I No, I'm being real. So if I'm in Brazil, I'm just an arbitrary country.
00:14:12
>> Seemed pretty pointed. >> I was gonna say Argentina, but I went Brazil. Sure.
00:14:16
>> I'm in Colombia. Right. >> Right. >> It's all in the same area. I'm in Peru now.
00:14:25
Listen. >> He's just naming South America. >> Yeah. Yeah. All right. So I'm in Peru,
00:14:32
okay? >> And I'm You mean I'm mopping, right? always mopping >> a hallway
00:14:38
>> or an alleyway. There happens to be rat [ __ ] and rat piss >> or right this the particles go up by the
00:14:46
air. I sniff it. You can get it mostly that way. >> That's how they get it from huffing rat
00:14:50
poop particles. >> Now there's one called the andis strain which is the one that's on the cruise
00:14:56
ship which is human to human. >> So this is like if you had it and you were kissing a girl she gets it.
00:15:02
>> But see the odds of getting it >> smelling the poop. You want to leave that bit in?
00:15:09
>> Yeah. Keep that bit in. >> Keep that in. >> Yeah. Yeah. Cuz sometimes we need anti-
00:15:13
comedy >> when he bombs. >> Yeah. Yeah. Cuz it makes us funnier. >> It's perfect.
00:15:16
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> So anyway, the um >> loser >> loser. You're a [ __ ] loser. But
00:15:21
anyway, >> unbutton another button. >> Unbutton another. >> So it's so human to human.
00:15:25
>> Human to human. And even in that it's very difficult to get apparently.
00:15:28
>> Really? >> Yes. >> Wow. >> Because the couple that got it on the
00:15:31
cruise were sleeping together on the same bed. >> Well, they were husband and wife, right?
00:15:35
Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. So, so that makes sense, right? The only scary part is this.
00:15:42
>> Who got it first, by the way? >> Did the guy or the girl get it? And they
00:15:45
got it from a rat on the boat. >> No, they got it from bird watching in Argentina.
00:15:50
>> I've said it once. I'll say it again. Stop watching birds. >> Stop watching them.
00:15:54
>> They don't need to be watching. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They need to be
00:15:56
perceived. You have to perceive them. perceive a bird is fine because if a hawk is going to come and attack your
00:16:00
eyes perception and I don't have the eyes to even witness the hawk >> until you get the glasses
00:16:05
>> right until I get the glasses right so don't poke up my eyes hawk correct
00:16:09
>> right so my point is is that um they were out you know you know these there's
00:16:14
different kinds of cruises >> I had an image of you between the time when you leave and you're getting your
00:16:19
glasses and you don't have hawks just smashing you in the eyes >> I NEED GLASSES
00:16:25
yeah >> there different kinds of cruises Yeah. So when I this kind of crew like I
00:16:30
did a cruise with the Adam Divine folk, >> right? >> Right. That's max go back.
00:16:35
>> Ah, >> right. But there's certain cruises, adventurism cruises. White cruises.
00:16:40
>> White people cruises. >> Yeah. Yeah. White people cruises. Like I
00:16:42
need to get go to go to the top of that mountain. >> Right. You know what I mean? I need to
00:16:46
see the the top of that Mayan temple. >> I must get to Kilamanjaro. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The
00:16:51
explorers. I'll go deeper into the cave. You know the ones that go in the crevices.
00:16:54
>> Why are you in there? >> Yeah. What are you doing in there? >> What's in there? Nothing's in there.
00:16:57
There's nothing. And they get stuck. They're like, "I can't move." I GO, "CUZ
00:17:00
BLACK PEOPLE DON'T DO THAT. They don't even go. We don't go to caves
00:17:05
like that. >> You've never heard a black guy get stuck in spelunking in a cave?"
00:17:08
>> No. No. You There are like [ __ ] caves in Asia, Vietnam, and whatnot that white
00:17:14
people discovered before the Asians did. >> Yeah. We didn't know that was there.
00:17:17
>> I'm sure the Vietnamese knew that it was there. They're like, "We're not going
00:17:20
near it." >> No way. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> White people love spelunking.
00:17:23
>> They love spelunking. So, this is white people's fault. >> This is
00:17:26
>> Yeah. So they went on an adventure. They caught it. You know what I mean? They
00:17:31
brought it back on the um cruise and um I think it's but the scary part is somebody that was flying to South
00:17:39
Africa, right? Who died >> brought it >> brought it to South but died but the
00:17:46
stewardist. Is that what you call them now? No. A flight attendant. A flight attendant got it.
00:17:51
>> Oh no. >> You know what I mean? So that's a little weird. Well, cuz airplanes are the one.
00:17:55
That's the one where I'm like, you're in a contained space and they're like, the
00:17:58
hepailters are really good. You're like, not when the guy next to me is GOING
00:18:04
>> cuz I've sat next to that guy many flights. >> Oh, dude. I have a rule and I I I have a
00:18:09
message to everyone listening. If you're super have a cold and you're super sick, don't get on a plane and
00:18:16
don't go and don't go to work. >> Don't get on don't you don't need to go
00:18:18
to work. If I say food industry, >> I've had waiters, you know what I mean?
00:18:23
Super sick. >> Like, fries. >> Your fries. Super sick. It's like, what
00:18:29
are you doing at work, dude? >> Take a day down. >> Yeah. Not I understand the economy.
00:18:33
>> People need to work. >> They need to work. I understand. And I'm
00:18:36
for that. >> I'm going to I'm going to be the opposite. I'm devil's advocate. I think
00:18:39
everyone should go to work as sick as they POSSIBLY ARE. >> YOU [ __ ] [ __ ]
00:18:43
>> You know who does it every day? Who? >> Fancy. >> That's right.
00:18:46
>> Has never not come to work. Don't take a day off. You're sick now.
00:18:49
>> But we go on the road, we get it from him and then all of a sudden we're in
00:18:52
Denver Saturday night. All sick. >> Yeah. And we're all sick. And it's your
00:18:55
[ __ ] fault. And >> you've got everyone in this room sick multiple time.
00:18:59
>> You're a [ __ ] [ __ ] dude. >> You're a carrier. >> I edited this show with like 110 fever.
00:19:05
>> Okay. >> But I bet you money if I get the haunt virus. H virus. You gave it to me.
00:19:12
>> You did. It's got a 30 to 40% mortality rate. What? And there's a 21 to 40 day
00:19:21
incubation period. >> So you don't even know. >> But here's the good news.
00:19:26
>> You don't know for a month. >> Here's the good news. You want to hear
00:19:29
the good news? >> Please. >> Even if you have it and I I have it, but
00:19:33
it's it's it's not like I'm u it's incubating. >> Mhm.
00:19:37
>> You're not going to catch it for me until I have symptoms. >> Ah.
00:19:41
>> Right. So it's like if I'm if I have H. Ha. I don't know how you call it. And I
00:19:45
sneeze. >> What does it prefer to be called? >> Yeah. You Spanish [ __ ]
00:19:49
>> H. >> H. >> Sounds like a good car company out of Japan. >> Yeah.
00:19:53
>> Hunter. >> Hunter virus. >> H. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. So
00:19:58
>> the all new Hunter. >> So if I had it and I was showing symptoms and I sneezed in front of you,
00:20:05
>> then >> then Yeah. But >> bring that back up though. That says the
00:20:08
rattia cities. I didn't say that. >> No, but look, most ratinfested cities
00:20:12
are LA, Chicago, Paris, New York, London, and Dishnoke, India. Known for its Karim, Manta Temple, famously home
00:20:19
to thousands of rats. Considered holy. Oh, holy rats don't get it though. >> Yeah. So, did I get the facts correct
00:20:26
about the hent virus? >> Y >> Yeah, you did. And can I say this? This
00:20:30
is a temple dedicated to rats. >> That's crazy. >> Wow. >> Just don't go there, white people.
00:20:35
>> Yeah, don't go. Well, that's it's in India. >> I know. But they go they do the cruise.
00:20:39
We got to go to that temple. >> Gotta go. >> Yeah. You But not you. >> I would never.
00:20:43
>> No. No. No. You're You're more >> I'm a landlocked guy.
00:20:46
>> No. You're more ethnic when it comes to decision- making. Thank you.
00:20:49
>> Yeah. You're not You're Yeah. You're not going to bungee jump. Nope.
00:20:52
>> Have you bungee jumped? >> Never. I would skydive or anything. I'm
00:20:56
way more ethnic when it comes to white mountain biking. >> Yeah. Mountain biking.
00:21:00
>> Why am I on a bicycle on a >> mountain? No. Flat land. >> Flat. Flat on flat. Me bike on flat.
00:21:05
>> Yeah. Yeah. I do VR biking. SHOPIFY. Hey y'all. Uh we have an online
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00:25:03
>> My point though being is I don't think the hent virus is that scary yet. But
00:25:10
>> here's the thing that we need need to be careful of. >> All viruses
00:25:15
they want to survive. >> They're looking for a host, >> right? And the in order to survive they
00:25:20
mutate. >> Oh [ __ ] >> Right. And co has mutated many times. thousands and thousands of times.
00:25:27
>> This thing's is a better mutator. >> Yeah. I don't know. We don't know yet.
00:25:31
That's why you know who is getting upfront. >> You know what I mean? The World Health
00:25:35
Organization, >> WHO. >> Yeah. They're getting upfront on the messaging.
00:25:39
>> By the way, this does say kidney failure can happen within 4 to 10 days after
00:25:42
symptoms. You can just lose your kidney. >> Yeah, it's bad. This one is bad. And you
00:25:46
know what's going to happen is >> people are going to die. >> No, because of if this becomes like CO,
00:25:51
what's going to happen is they tricked us last time. >> Yeah. Are they're not going to do it
00:25:55
again? >> Yeah, they're not going to do it again. I'm going to the [ __ ] country music
00:25:58
festival. >> I'm going to go. >> Right. Not that it could be Coachella.
00:26:02
>> Come get you a rat. >> I don't want to be regional about >> Come get a rat on you mean
00:26:06
>> get a rat on a stick. >> Yeah. Yeah. And then all of a sudden it's like the mortality rate's worse and
00:26:12
it's going to get bad. >> I think we're good. Knock on knock on >> I think we're good. I think we're good
00:26:16
>> because I >> I mean we're going to go into a recession. >> God bless.
00:26:19
>> Yeah. And and the economy is [ __ ] >> Let's go. No, >> we got to go into a recession.
00:26:24
>> Why? >> Because they have to go down to go back up. That's the only way it works. If we
00:26:28
don't do a recession, it's then we go into depression. >> Ah, >> we must recede before we proceed.
00:26:33
>> Oh, like a wave. >> We must hit the wave. >> Oh, I see. >> As of May, the US economy is not in a
00:26:37
current recession. Faces significant material headwinds and mixed signals. Some analysts foresee a 40 50%
00:26:43
probability of downturn due to high interest rates. It is, >> but there's an AI bubble that could pop.
00:26:49
You know what I mean? And if that happens, You know what I mean? Then you know >> I don't want
00:26:55
>> what >> it just scared. >> It's like >> who knows what's
00:26:58
>> Who knows what's happening. >> Are you feeling better? He said he was
00:27:01
feeling better earlier. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> The head feels good. It looks good.
00:27:04
>> Thank you. >> Your head feels good. >> Yeah. It just hurts in the back a little
00:27:06
bit. >> You know, I can't see a It's got I mean from afar when I look closer I see
00:27:11
little redness. >> Yeah. >> From afar it looks normal. >> Yeah. I mean it'll
00:27:16
>> dude how funny if he turns into like a male model when this is over. >> Oh, that'd be awesome. If we shift him
00:27:20
into modeling now in his >> He is handsome. >> He is. The kid's handsome.
00:27:23
>> Yeah. Yeah. You do stink >> because I'm always busy and >> No, I know. Can I just say something
00:27:28
about I You're handsome and you have a cool vibe. >> Thanks, bro. >> You know what I mean?
00:27:33
>> Setup. Set up. Set up. >> Oh, yeah. >> Here it is. >> Anything before the butt doesn't count.
00:27:37
>> The butt's my favorite. >> Why can't I be honest? >> Yeah. No, you're No, we like it. Be
00:27:42
honest. >> Yeah, you smell always good. >> Ditto. By the way, I smell
00:27:48
>> I know. I smelled a girl last night at the [ __ ] restaurant and I was like,
00:27:52
"God, what is that? That smells incredible." She sat next to us and my
00:27:56
wife was like, "That's that's Bobby's cologne." >> Yeah.
00:28:00
>> I smelled you on someone else. >> Yeah. >> And it made me get
00:28:04
>> I ran up to her. I did an Asian accent to her. >> I missed you so much.
00:28:09
>> She because you wear a lot of unisex. >> You some sweet. You know what I mean?
00:28:13
Woody sweet, you know what I mean? But I go >> She had your cologne on or your perfume.
00:28:17
>> My perfume. Yeah. Why do you think he So you think he smells >> at times your breath?
00:28:23
>> You know what I mean? >> What I use? >> Yeah. >> Malon and goats rum.
00:28:28
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I don't know if Don't put goat in.
00:28:30
>> It's too goat. It's too goat. >> Goat. More. >> Yeah. Do more. Yeah.
00:28:34
>> Founders are gay. >> Less goat. More. >> Less goat. Yeah. In fact, how about
00:28:39
this? Only Mullen. >> For a smell good set to have goat in it is crazy. >> It is crazy, dude.
00:28:45
>> Is there a little bit of sheep in there, too? I mean, >> I'm using Marcus and farts right now.
00:28:54
>> More Marcus. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. More. >> Wait, that is that your That's your
00:28:57
That's your go-to. >> That's your scent. I use this. >> Yeah. What is that one?
00:28:59
>> What is that? >> Tom Ford. >> Tom Ford. Yeah. Um, do you use it?
00:29:04
>> Yes. >> Okay. All right. Use >> I come to work so stressed that I'm
00:29:08
>> This is what you need to do. >> You do need to chill on the stress
00:29:11
thing. >> Yeah. This is what you This is what I do. >> I can't take meds before I come here.
00:29:14
Why? >> You see me raw. Uh, >> Andrew will know if I'm high. >> I will 100% know. Well, you have tricked
00:29:20
me a few times. >> I just always forget to tell you the truth. >> Okay.
00:29:25
>> So, this is what you do. Okay. This is what I do. >> Yeah. >> Spray on the wrist.
00:29:30
>> Always rub >> and do a rub. >> Must. >> Right. I lift up my shirt under
00:29:35
>> one spray underneath. >> Now, do you do skin or do you do shirt? >> It's I I I spray upwards and it gets
00:29:41
both. >> It gets all the way up. >> Yeah, it gets all the way up. I record
00:29:44
myself doing it to prove it. >> Okay. And then this is another one I do. And this is a little gross,
00:29:49
>> but I lift the sack and it hit the taint. >> How's that gross? That's per That's
00:29:53
exactly where it's supposed to go. >> That's where exactly where it's supposed
00:29:55
to go. That's where it's supposed to go. Right. Because if you know what I mean,
00:29:57
they don't want you you don't want them to taste it. >> No. >> Right. But that you want them to smell
00:30:01
it. >> Yeah. >> Right. Right. >> They want the aura, right? >> The aura.
00:30:05
>> Yeah. And then um wait, I've got to >> One on the neck. >> One on the neck. That was zesty that
00:30:13
last one. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> And that's it. >> That's it.
00:30:16
>> What do you do? >> I do this. >> Two sprays >> and that's it.
00:30:20
>> Yeah, that's it. >> No. No. >> But that's what I because I don't you
00:30:24
now. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> I don't want to smell too cra maybe I
00:30:28
should. >> Spray some in your mouth too because that thing What the What are you a
00:30:31
dragon? >> LIKE WHAT ARE you trying to burn down? >> It's I USE THE NATURAL ONE.
00:30:36
>> I MEAN IT'S SO SMELLY. >> It's the natural one from Air1 and I
00:30:39
don't >> YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. YEAH. DO MORE. I don't eat. I I'll give you the money. What do
00:30:43
you think? >> Please eat food. >> You're not eating. Mone has commented
00:30:47
multiple times. Sometimes you'll skip an entire day of meal. >> Smells like a vegetarian.
00:30:51
>> I skip city. >> Don't do that. >> This is another thing he does on the
00:30:55
road. I didn't eat. >> Yeah, we haven't eaten all day. You know, I'll have um four lettucees, one
00:31:00
crouton, and half a shrimp. It's like order a steak, >> have a meal. >> But you said I'm handsome earlier. It's
00:31:05
like that's why like >> that has nothing to do with the food. You need to eat for nutrition. Yeah,
00:31:10
it's [ __ ] up your breath. >> Your body's going to kill you. >> Yeah, but you can just have smoothies,
00:31:15
too. >> No, you can't just eat smoothies. Smoothies. I've been eating uh avocado
00:31:21
toast and smoothies for a whole year and nothing else. >> Oh my god. >> Oh, congratulations.
00:31:25
>> Thank you. >> And nuggets. You look like [ __ ] >> Give me the guy. Give me Yeah. And then
00:31:29
McDonald's. >> Give me the guy that's that does the cologne tutorials. He does like on on
00:31:33
YouTube. He sprays like he says like a hundred sprays. That's what he does. >> Yeah, that's good.
00:31:37
>> They do a 100 sprays. >> I'd rather have that than whatever he
00:31:39
has. This dragon, >> this guy. Here's cologne the right way. Let's see
00:31:44
how cologne Let's see how it's applied the correct way. >> How to put on
00:31:49
>> how to put on cologne >> cuz I don't I mean I guess I don't know
00:31:52
how. >> All right, here we go. Cuz this guy will teach us. >> I already told you
00:31:57
>> the best time to apply your cologne. >> All right, push pause. Push pause. First
00:32:00
of all, >> I don't believe it. >> No, HE'S >> already turned the video off.
00:32:07
>> It's too much AI. That's why it's AI >> because I'll like turn that off for a
00:32:12
second. >> I'll take number two. >> No, I don't believe. Okay.
00:32:15
>> Sports. >> Yes. Yesterday morning. >> Yeah. >> Mookie Bets.
00:32:19
>> Yeah. Mookie bets >> and Cam. >> Yeah. Cam the best. >> Right. They both smelled
00:32:23
>> unreal. >> Unreal. >> So good. >> Like when you smell Mookie Bets,
00:32:26
>> it's cuz they're famous. >> No, that's not it, dude. Right. They
00:32:30
just >> intuitively know where to spray. They do >> what to spray. They do
00:32:35
>> how to spray. They intuitively know to put some sort of mint in the mouth.
00:32:40
>> Yep. >> Not to offend the human beings around them. >> I brought that to
00:32:45
>> Right. So, >> so what I'm say I'm I'm not done talking.
00:32:48
>> Well, I'm just saying for >> Yeah. Yeah. So, it's like, you know, so
00:32:51
that they're not intrusive, >> right? >> You know what I mean? Like I don't want
00:32:55
an eyebrow burned off, right? Cuz you're telling me something. >> You know what I mean? Do you understand
00:33:00
what I'm saying? Like I want you I don't want to get tan, you know? I don't want to get an Insta
00:33:06
tan when you're talking to me ON your breath stinks, dude. You're [ __ ]
00:33:15
terrible, >> right? Yeah. Yeah. No, you need to tell your fake pills or DUDE ON ONE.
00:33:20
>> EVERY TIME I'M WITH YOU ON GO HOME. I LOOK FILIPINO >> BECAUSE YOUR BREATH IS SO LIKE A DRAGON.
00:33:27
>> He's had time with you. He talked to you the other day and then he turned to me
00:33:30
and he got breath burn. His whole face has breath. >> That's what I'm saying.
00:33:34
>> DUDE, I'M NOT EATING. HEY, LOOK AT THE KIND OF VAPE HE'S VAPING. I'm not
00:33:38
eating. >> Yeah. Yeah, I know. It's terrible. >> What's in there? Rats. What's in there?
00:33:41
>> Yeah. >> Tobacco. >> Oh god. I'm sorry. >> I love you.
00:33:45
>> Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. >> It's the price I pay. >> It's the price you pay. But please,
00:33:48
we're going on the road Thursday morning. >> Yeah. >> Right. If you are going to eat,
00:33:53
>> if you need Listerine packets, >> that's what I brought >> or mints or gum or whatever you want.
00:33:58
I'll give you thousands of dollars cuz that's what's what it's going to take
00:34:01
>> cuz I use the natural stuff. It doesn't work. >> It doesn't matter. And also on top of
00:34:05
it, do the cologne routine and then we won't have a [ __ ] problem. >> BUT I'VE GOT A homeless man as my tour
00:34:10
manager. >> I'll record it. >> Yeah, I'LL RECORD MY WHAT THE [ __ ] IS
00:34:14
GOING ON? >> ALL RIGHT, CALM DOWN. YOU'RE ON. >> All the stage hands are like, "Is he
00:34:17
homeless?" I go, "No, he's not homeless. HE'S A REAL HE LIVES IN THE HOUSE."
00:34:21
>> You're >> I'm sorry. I >> That's been pinned up for years.
00:34:25
>> Yeah. >> It's How do you say that? >> It's not. You say it over.
00:34:27
>> How do you say that to >> How do you say that to somebody? You know what I mean? You just did.
00:34:33
>> No, no. When you're You know what I mean? Cuz you haven't I've never seen
00:34:36
you publicly acknowledge his breath. >> What do you in your mind think? >> I write about it. I have a blog. I write
00:34:41
about >> You do morning pages, the artist way. >> I have a Substack on it. You guys got to
00:34:50
read it. >> Yeah. Yeah. You got to read it. >> Go to morning breath.com/anderantino.
00:35:01
>> All right. Well, any retorts then for Bob then? Do you have a retort or do you
00:35:03
have >> No, Bobby usually smells good and he's a good boss and uh respect is at a
00:35:08
maximum. >> Oh, smart dude. He's about to get some checks on the road.
00:35:12
>> Yeah, very smart. Excited. You're really good. >> Sold out San Antonio. It's great.
00:35:16
>> Of course. Of course. >> Yeah. Houston's getting there. And also
00:35:19
Dallas is there already. >> Doing well. Toronto. >> Good job from Texas. You're going to rip
00:35:23
up Texas to shreds. >> Yeah. So, um what I'm saying is is that you're also being Last thing I want to
00:35:28
say. >> Oh, yeah. >> You anything? Yeah. Last thing I want to say I cuz I I feel like people think
00:35:33
that I complain >> or I'm being vicious. You know what I mean? I think you're overcompensating.
00:35:40
Let me say that again. >> Hit it again. >> You're overcompensating.
00:35:43
>> Overcompensating. Yeah. >> Overcompensating. >> Yeah. For what?
00:35:46
>> It's like cuz last time I said you're not a good tour man manager, right? But
00:35:51
now you're being extra good where it's kind of annoying. >> Oh, you're going too far.
00:35:55
>> Yeah. Today. NO, NO, NO. THIS IS SO TRUE. NO, NO, NO. >> Would understand. So, so we we're fly we
00:36:01
fly out Thursday. >> Yeah. >> Right. To San Antonio in the morning, right? We land at 3,
00:36:06
>> right? >> Right. He's already today going, "What kind of beef do you want?"
00:36:11
>> What is that? What do you mean? >> Like he I have to pre-order meat
00:36:15
>> for our barbecue place. >> So they don't run out. >> So that they don't run out?
00:36:19
>> What do you mean? >> They're going to run They're going to
00:36:20
run out of meat by 3. So when we go at 7:30, they'll hold >> Did they tell you that?
00:36:24
>> They're They run out of meat. We're at a barbecue [ __ ] place. Yeah.
00:36:29
>> Excuse me. We'll order the corn, >> right? And I guess THE CORNBREAD.
00:36:34
>> THERE'S NOTHING GOOD LEFT. >> HOW DO THEY STEAL YOUR BUSINESS?
00:36:37
>> BECAUSE THEY'RE LIKE A MICHELIN STAR PLACE. >> THAT'S NORMAL, YOU
00:36:41
>> IDIOT. >> THAT'S [ __ ] NORMAL. >> GOD DAMN, DUDE. >> YOU'RE JUST CALLING THE barbecue
00:36:45
[ __ ] a barbecue place. >> Yeah. And they're all millionaires. >> Yeah. Yeah. YEAH.
00:36:49
>> GOD, YOU'RE SO YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T YOU'RE overating this. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:36:54
>> I mean, let's be real. Let's be real for once in your life. Go in the middle.
00:36:59
>> Maybe he's overcompensated. >> Ah. >> Wow. He's got me riled up, dude.
00:37:05
>> How about we do a hygiene uh bump then? Financially, give him a hygiene bump.
00:37:10
>> Okay. I'm willing to do this. Okay. >> We'll put aside a little bit of money
00:37:12
for hygiene. >> I'm willing to do this. Okay. >> Yeah. Thanks for the hair.
00:37:16
>> Yeah. I give him [ __ ] hair, dog. >> That's not it. That's not what smells.
00:37:20
>> Oh, yeah. That it will. >> You You think that's hair from the back
00:37:26
OF HIS HEAD? NO, DUDE. HE'S NOT GOING TO [ __ ] SACRIFICE THE back of his head. That's
00:37:32
[ __ ] [ __ ] hair, dude. >> That's pube hair, dude. >> I love it.
00:37:36
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> You know what? >> Imagine that hair. He's going to have
00:37:40
dreadlocks. >> He's going to have dingleberries up at the front. >> Yeah. Yeah. It's going to look bad,
00:37:45
dude. >> It's going to look so good. >> Yeah. Not only are you going to look
00:37:48
good, >> I'm afraid we're going to lose you >> to modeling. >> I just think I think you're going to get
00:37:53
a full head of hair. I think he's going to get a full head of hair in a year and he's going to think
00:37:58
he's better than us. Do you not think that's going to happen, Fancy? I think
00:38:00
he's going to be up his own ass. McCone saying yes. I think you're going to be
00:38:04
Mr. Hot Shot >> and Mr. Hot Shot's going to go, I'm late. I don't want to come to the shoot
00:38:08
anymore. I'm doing my own thing. >> I'm 90 minutes early every time. I'm a
00:38:12
killer. >> I know, but you don't have any hair yet. When the hair comes in, it might change
00:38:15
your perspective. >> Okay, >> that's interesting. >> He's two inches taller than me.
00:38:20
>> One 11 one. We It's one or two inches taller than me, right? with the hair
00:38:24
might be even. >> Right. >> Right. He has hunter body. >> Hunter body.
00:38:29
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Um the face is pretty good. >> Face is very good.
00:38:33
>> Right. >> The eyes are >> even with hair eyes. >> Nice car.
00:38:37
>> Nose mouth are very good. Right. >> The women like the eyes and the face and
00:38:40
the nose. >> Right. You're right. But also women don't like medieval [ __ ]
00:38:45
>> They don't like no no no. They don't. >> They don't like Yeah. You know what I
00:38:49
mean? They don't like, you know, fire coming out of the mouth. They don't like, "Is that an ogre?" And
00:38:58
with their senses, you know, their smells, right? I mean, they don't like medieval [ __ ]
00:39:02
>> right? They like >> Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. Am I under a bridge?
00:39:05
>> Like, what is going on like a troll? You know what I mean? >> So, what I'm saying to you is that it I
00:39:10
think it'll You know what I mean? >> Even off even out as an average guy.
00:39:14
>> Got it. I see it. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead. >> No, I have nothing.
00:39:17
>> Come at me. >> I'm not trying to go at you. Come at me, guy. >> Bobby Hinchcliff.
00:39:21
>> I'm >> It's Bobby. >> Oh, wow. >> Bobby. >> Oh, no.
00:39:26
>> Oh, that's Dude, he's [ __ ] going to piss me off, dude. This guy,
00:39:30
>> you're beginning to [ __ ] piss me off right now, guys. >> I love you.
00:39:34
>> I love you. >> Yeah. First of all, I love you. >> Yeah. >> All right. So, I want to say this. I
00:39:38
It's not roasting. >> That's not That's honest. >> It's It's It's telling it how it is.
00:39:44
>> Right. Structurally, it's not a roast joke. It's not as clever as a roast
00:39:48
joke. That's true. >> Oh, >> yeah. And and I and I I'm the one that
00:39:51
said it. >> Yeah. >> So, I admit it. >> Okay. >> Right. Still got laughs.
00:39:56
>> Yeah. Same with the roast the other night on Netflix. >> Right. So, when my point is is that it's
00:40:00
not a roast joke because I'm just being honest. >> Yeah. >> Ogre troll dragon's breath. No. Look at
00:40:07
me right now, dude. No. I I I swear to God on my mother's life >> that those three things are true.
00:40:14
>> All right. So what my point is >> Bob if I said one thing >> as soon I'm talking I'm the host of the
00:40:19
show. Thank you. >> I'm the yeah yeah yeah. Oh yeah. >> Yeah. >> Okay. So anyway, let me finish what I
00:40:24
want to say. Okay. >> What? >> Listen to what I have to say. Right. >> Yeah. How how is that how is that
00:40:32
roasting when I'm just being honest? >> Was not a roast. I didn't see a roast
00:40:35
come out of that. Exactly. >> It was you dulging your >> What are the three things I said
00:40:39
mythologically? >> Under a bridge. Troll. >> Yes. >> Dragon's breath.
00:40:43
>> Yes. and ogre. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Now, will you defy any of those three things?
00:40:49
>> There is no defiance. There's no defiance. >> They're truisms. Correct.
00:40:53
>> Truth. Truth. >> Truth. Truth. You're a truther. >> I'm a truther. Correct. Right. Always.
00:40:57
So, case closed. Case. Yeah. Thank you. >> That's not how like court works. You
00:41:01
can't just >> It is if you if you own the court, it does work. >> Yeah. And do you believe he just said,
00:41:06
"I'm the executive producer." Did you hear that? >> Is that what you said
00:41:08
>> to Bobby? Yeah. I've never even said executive. >> Are you an executive producer? I mean,
00:41:13
yeah, I guess I I >> Let me ask you as a >> Let me ask you. Yeah. >> As a nonpartisan, right?
00:41:21
>> No. No. You're not partisan. You're my best friend and we do this together. So,
00:41:24
I'm partisan. >> We're on the poster. >> Yeah. I'm very >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're We're the band.
00:41:28
We're the band. We're the band. Okay. >> I'm on the tour. >> All right. So, UM THIS GUY DO IT.
00:41:34
>> You make the poster. I take pictures. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, let me ask
00:41:38
you as my business partner and as the stars of the show, >> correct? Okay. Um, is he executive
00:41:44
PRODUCER >> SLASHBOOKER? Let me think. >> Yeah, think about it. >> H
00:41:53
>> Wait, Andrew, I can just be producer. >> Oh, so you're you're you don't even want
00:41:58
the title. I was going to give to you, but I guess no. So, just producer then? >> Yeah.
00:42:01
>> Associate. >> AP. >> Not associate. No. No. >> What's Mone then?
00:42:05
>> He's assistant. >> He's exactly what Carlos is. >> Carlos?
00:42:10
>> No way. Blue. You guys, I'm 54 years old. I'm about to turn 55.
00:42:15
>> Congratulations. >> Yeah. I'm about to die. But my point is I'm still sexually active. And what I do
00:42:20
is I have a girlfriend now as well. >> Yes, you do. >> Yeah. And still I use Bluetooth. I'll
00:42:24
tell you why. >> It's easy. >> It's easy. >> Cuz as you get older, you mean you have
00:42:28
ED? >> You do. >> Erectile dysfunction is what they call it. >> And that's not a big deal. Millions and
00:42:33
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00:43:31
KACHAVA. YOU >> KNOW WHAT, ANDREW? Um I'd rather have kachava than any other meal
00:43:37
>> ever. If if I had a choice, like if I was on an island, they're like, "You get
00:43:41
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the code bad friends for 15% off your first order. >> That's kachava k a c hava va.com. code
00:44:50
bad friends. >> No, you're trying to break me and it just won't work cuz you've been trying
00:44:55
for 20 years. >> I feel like he sounds like a broken man. >> Look at me right now.
00:45:02
>> Such pro. Don't talk, please. Cuz the hosts are talking. >> Okay. Okay. At all. Look at me right
00:45:07
now. >> Yeah. >> Does that sound like a broken little bit? >> No.
00:45:14
>> I want more love. >> I do love him. He's my tour manager. I will not fire him. He will be my tour
00:45:20
manager to the end of my tour. >> What started this, do you think? >> How did this kick off?
00:45:24
>> There was an energy transfer that happened. I >> I came in today because my hands were
00:45:28
cramping. >> Yeah. >> Right. >> Okay. >> My hands were cramping and they're still
00:45:31
cramping. Okay. >> Um I had a miracle about the eye thing. But then that lady said, you mean not
00:45:37
Asian. >> That was rude. >> And so I was in this kind of mixed move.
00:45:40
Also, when I was driving here, I was going, I have nothing to talk about. >> Oh, it's the barbecue. He's mad that I
00:45:45
asked him to pre-order barbecue. I do feel like the pre-order ask was what started this whole role.
00:45:50
>> Yeah. And I'm just order for him is what I'll end up doing. >> Okay.
00:45:55
>> I want you to be comfortable. >> Being on tour with like Nirvana would be
00:45:57
easier. >> Like it was so much calmer in the early 90s with them. I bet >> it's crazier. Like Michael Michael
00:46:05
Jackson and his monkey or something. Like it's insane. >> Insane. >> So you're saying he's a hard guy to work
00:46:12
with? I think there are levels of difficulty and he's on one of the higher ones.
00:46:18
>> Really? >> Yeah. You have to really like >> really crazy. >> Wow.
00:46:21
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Now, the hard and the hardest part about >> Let's Let's go back then.
00:46:24
>> Oh, he's like, "Oh, I'm a man of the people. That makes me easy to
00:46:27
>> Okay, let's let's if you want to get real, let's get real."
00:46:30
>> Oh, we haven't been real this whole >> Oh, no. Because I was kidding about
00:46:33
that. You don't smoke. >> That's such gaslighting. >> You're a [ __ ] gaser.
00:46:39
>> I did that for comedy reasons. It's a comedy podcast. Yeah. Ogres do not smell
00:46:42
like >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Dragons don't exist. >> Yeah. Yeah. Dragons don't exist.
00:46:46
>> These are actually all mythological creatures. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. Cherubs, mermaids, all fake. Such
00:46:53
a gas. >> Yeah. That's That's not gaslighting. That's a trueism.
00:46:56
>> There is no dragons. >> There is no dragons. Is a truth. >> Yeah. There's no
00:46:59
>> is the truth. >> That's the truth. Truth, right? >> So, take it back.
00:47:02
>> There trolls. There are some mythological evidence. >> Yeah. Give or take.
00:47:06
>> Give or take. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But anyway, I was in justest saying these
00:47:10
things for comedy purposes at one point or another. You took it personally. >> There was a personal take. I called you
00:47:17
those names. >> Yeah. Yeah. And then you snapped. >> You got angry. >> Snap. If I snapped, Andrew would legit
00:47:23
be like, "Get the [ __ ] out of here." >> No, no, no. I would let you have your
00:47:25
peace. If you want to say your piece, you can say your piece. >> That's how you lose your job. I
00:47:29
>> No, no, no. You can't lose your job. I was just doing it in just Of course you
00:47:32
don't breath a dragon. >> You can't even say it. >> Yeah. Yeah. and know all that stuff,
00:47:38
right? >> I was just giving, you know, light hints of maybe, you know, I mean, suggestions.
00:47:43
>> Small stuff. >> Yeah, small stuff. And you took it personally. >> I wish that as my friend, you would just
00:47:48
tell me the truth and that you were trying to break it. >> Would you rather him tell you the truth,
00:47:50
not on the air? >> No, on the air. >> You want it on the air? >> You want on the air?
00:47:54
>> Cuz it's because you wanted >> Okay, I will tell you the truth on the
00:47:57
air then. Right. You have dragon's breath. >> All right. You smell like an ogre and a
00:48:03
troll. >> Yeah. and all the things I I can't >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:48:08
>> back. Yeah. Yeah. >> You can fight back. >> You can fight back.
00:48:10
>> No. >> So, let me ask you. I'm difficult on the road. I'm like like Michael Jackson and
00:48:14
the bubbles or whatever you want. >> He said you were like bubbles. >> So, what's my writer?
00:48:19
>> Um, Smart Water. >> No, no, it's not. It's not Smart Water.
00:48:24
>> Sugar-free Red Bull. >> I have two I have two things on my writer.
00:48:28
>> Okay. >> All right. Tell me what they are. >> Water. >> Yeah.
00:48:31
>> And Sugar-free Red Bull. >> I just said smart water and sugar. Those
00:48:34
are the only two. >> Yeah. >> What is Michael Jackson's writer? >> Oh, it's like all like the nine-year-old
00:48:39
boy. >> Yeah. I mean, no, don't say that. No, but I'm just saying.
00:48:42
>> Okay. That is not his writer. >> I mean, but what's you know what I mean?
00:48:45
You two's writer. >> It's not about the writer. >> Yes, it is. It's about what the tour
00:48:49
manager has to do >> to make the artist happy. Mine's basic. I want a stool on stage. Yep.
00:48:55
>> Right. I want a meal. >> Yeah. >> Right. I want to pay my openers.
00:48:59
>> Mhm. >> And and I also want Red Bull and water. That's it. >> That's it. I don't want to STIR
00:49:04
ANYTHING, BUT >> ALL RIGHT. WAR. >> IT SOUNDS LIKE IT'S COMING. >> He actually said that Bobby is so cool
00:49:11
on the road that who you know he thinks Andrew is really really difficult. >> I And you know that you've said that to
00:49:18
me before. >> No, y'all are very different. And answer. >> You've said that to me before.
00:49:23
>> I would never. >> Yes, you have. >> I would literally. No, I would literally
00:49:26
NEVER SAY THAT BECAUSE YOU'RE SUCH A [ __ ] RAT. >> YOU'RE SUCH A RAT THAT I WOULD NEVER SAY
00:49:31
THAT. YOU'RE SAYING THIS NOW BECAUSE YOU KNOW THE [ __ ] FIRE. >> THAT'S WHY I WOULD NEVER SAY IT BECAUSE
00:49:37
YOU'RE SUCH A RAT. >> YOU THINK I'M the rat? >> He's the rat.
00:49:40
>> I WOULD NEVER CALL if >> I would never call. >> Yeah. Yeah.
00:49:47
>> Andrew. Look at me right now. Be quiet. >> I call it for him. >> All right. Listen to me right now. Okay.
00:49:53
>> You have to be more on top of things. >> Yeah. I'm We're good.
00:49:57
>> No, I'm not worried about you and me. I'm worried about me and Andrew.
00:49:59
>> I know. I understand. It's good. It's real good. >> No, it's not.
00:50:02
>> Yeah, it's good. It's also my >> Yeah. Yeah, it's good. You know what I
00:50:05
mean? It's good. Let me look at my my friend here. >> Yeah. >> Hello.
00:50:08
>> Hi, man. >> Yeah. Don't take it personally. >> Hit me. >> Okay. Um,
00:50:12
>> you're ready for a [ __ ] lie. >> Okay. Let's make play play fair. Fair.
00:50:19
>> Play fair. >> What? What Andreas said. >> Mhm. >> What did he say?
00:50:24
>> That I'm more difficult on the road than you. >> Okay. Did I say that?
00:50:28
>> You did not. No. Those facts are facts. >> Fancy said that. Said that. Carlos said
00:50:34
that. >> Yeah. >> Behind my back. >> I've never >> Yeah. Yeah. So, so
00:50:39
>> listen here, Dragon Boy. >> I have never fought music ever. >> So, it's very interesting to me. You
00:50:45
know what I mean? I'm getting the heat because I'm the easier target than he
00:50:50
is. >> Welcome to my life. It's like we're mirror images. >> I I I know. So, what I'm saying is that
00:50:55
you're he's scarier than I am. Yeah. So, you have to stay on top of it with him.
00:51:00
>> Yeah. Okay. So, you treat me shittier. You do because you're afraid of him.
00:51:06
>> This is >> Let's be real. Let's be real for once. >> That's not true. I'm not frustrated with
00:51:11
Andrew in the slightest. And it's not redirected to you. That's insane. I like
00:51:15
working with Andrew. >> Not anymore. >> Hey, brother. We're going to be needing
00:51:23
to look for a new tour manager as the run I have right now is a dragon breath troll ghoul.
00:51:33
Please, >> I'm calling mine live. >> Matt, >> no. Abby, >> I'm kidding. I It was I didn't text.
00:51:39
>> I'm doing for real. >> I would never do that. >> Carlos is obviously
00:51:44
>> Andre, please. Hi, it's Bob. >> Bob. >> Yeah, one of your clients. Bob Lee.
00:51:58
>> What's up? >> What's up? Um, I just want to let you know um you're on Bad Friends right now.
00:52:05
>> I am? >> Yeah, but don't you're not going to say anything bad. I'm just going to let you
00:52:08
I'm going to say I'll do all the talking and then you just and then I'm going to
00:52:11
hang out. >> Do they hear me this part? >> Yeah, they're hearing you talk. Yes, but
00:52:17
you don't have to Yeah, but you don't have to talk anymore. Does she know what
00:52:20
a podcast is? >> Yeah. Okay. All right. All right. So, here's here's All right.
00:52:26
>> Um, my tour manager has dragon's breath. Don't say anything. All right. Smells
00:52:30
like a troll in an ogre. Right. If I looked at my um my writer, none of the [ __ ] that's in my dressing room is in
00:52:37
like the fruit play. >> Not true, Abby. >> Yeah. Yeah. Don't >> And I want to let you know, but this
00:52:42
tour is fine, but the next tour I do, he's out. Okay. >> I love him. Thank you.
00:52:49
>> Okay. Bye. >> There's always >> She's fired. She's fired.
00:52:54
>> She's fired. >> I will say this. >> Yes. >> The fact that you went behind my back.
00:52:59
>> It's insane. That >> and told Fancy. And McCone. Did he tell you?
00:53:03
>> Did he tell you? Mone didn't hear this. >> No. McCon closer to the mic.
00:53:09
>> McCone, have you ever tour managed? >> Uh, no. But I've seen a lot of
00:53:14
>> Well, you're about to mone, you've told me this before. Okay. And I want you to be on on the record,
00:53:20
right? Who's scarier, Andrew or I? >> Andrew. Yeah. >> Okay. Good.
00:53:25
>> That's good. That's the way I >> All right. But you have said that
00:53:27
before. >> But fear doesn't make me talk [ __ ] about him. >> Or does it?
00:53:32
>> It does. Or or >> No, I'm so much I don't tell you anything, Bob, cuz you would tell
00:53:37
everyone my business. >> Oh, I'm a gossiper. Interesting. I'm a gossiper. I'm a witch.
00:53:43
>> Yeah, you are. >> Salem's rich witch trial. Huh? You're >> Wow.
00:53:48
>> Well, I'm You know what's unfortunate, Carlos? I will be honest with you right
00:53:50
now. >> We love you. >> No, not yet. >> Okay. >> I thought, man, I make it real easy on
00:53:58
Carlos. I don't ask for much, but the simple things. >> You don't.
00:54:02
>> I just want water and popcorn backstage before I go on. >> And you always have it.
00:54:06
>> It's crazy. >> And I just think I don't ever call you and bug you and say, "Give me this, give
00:54:10
me that, I need, I need this, I need that." >> Yeah. And >> and also
00:54:15
>> for you to go behind my back >> y >> and tell fancy I'm difficult to deal
00:54:20
with on the road breaks my heart >> and quite frankly >> praise the Lord.
00:54:25
>> I think I think that's it for us on the road. >> This is sad that we're going to end over
00:54:30
lies from our >> Who's lying? FY lying. >> I think Fancy is having a hallucination
00:54:34
from his one of his many colds. >> Are you lying? >> Yes. >> It's a fever dream.
00:54:38
>> I'm lying. >> No, you're lying about lying now. So now there's layers of lies. So now I can't
00:54:42
believe anybody in the booth. >> Yeah. >> So now we have a booth full of liars.
00:54:46
>> They've always have been liars. >> Who's to believe now? >> No one.
00:54:49
>> No. You're in no one to believe. >> So you are the only person I can
00:54:51
believe. So we have we have I can't believe you. Don't believe me either.
00:54:54
>> Okay. Well, >> yeah. Yeah. This is Game of Thrones. >> Oh no.
00:54:57
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> And whom is the dragon? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right there. I'm Kesi.
00:55:02
>> You know, for the record, I defended you. I don't think you have bad breath.
00:55:05
And I don't think you smell bad. Thank you, brother. >> Yeah. I don't either. It was just a
00:55:08
joke. lies. >> The room full of lies. >> Yeah. Yeah. I'm a liar as well.
00:55:14
>> Gosh, how do we get away from this? >> I don't know. >> Well, let me tell you something though.
00:55:18
In all honesty, all jokes aside, >> all jokes aside, >> I love you dearly, Carlos.
00:55:21
>> I do, too. >> But I will not be touring with you in the future. >> He got a good beating today.
00:55:25
>> Mhm. >> I took it like a like a >> You know what the worst part of all this
00:55:28
is? >> What is it? >> This is like an ex that we have a kid with. >> We still have to see these people.
00:55:36
>> What do you mean? You and I had a baby. Yes. This show is our baby. >> Yeah. And that's our child.
00:55:42
>> No, no, no. That's that's that's the that's our ex. These people are these
00:55:45
are ex Yeah. Yeah. >> And now we have to see them because to create to keep the baby happy, we have
00:55:50
to see our exes, >> right? That's exactly what it is. >> And they're all of our exes.
00:55:54
>> Yeah. I do that on Tiger Belly. >> A grand slam. >> A literal grand slam.
00:56:07
>> Yeah. And that's what it is over here. >> Yeah. >> I'm disappointed.
00:56:12
>> I'm disappointed, too. If you The way you framed it >> makes me disappointed. But I guess, you
00:56:17
know, >> I guess that's the way it is. >> The panic. Remember, what did I say
00:56:20
before? I went in hot, right? >> Mhm. >> And what did I say? When I walk through
00:56:25
the store, >> you have nothing to talk about. >> Exactly. But you know what that really
00:56:29
means? >> I got something to say. >> I have to see my ex. >> Yeah.
00:56:33
>> Yeah. >> Toxic behavior. >> Yeah. Yeah. I have to see my ex and I
00:56:36
have to pretend everything's, you know, >> cool. You know what I mean?
00:56:39
>> Yeah. >> So, it's like um >> be cooler. >> Be cooler.
00:56:44
>> That's great advice. >> Yeah, it's good advice. Right. >> Thank you, man.
00:56:47
>> Yeah. >> And when you walk and when you walk out of the door, right, don't go just to
00:56:51
Andrew, tell me some business. >> Okay. >> Lie to me. I I I just want to say this, okay?
00:56:57
>> Yeah. >> And this is the truth of the matter. >> You're a great boss, man. I love you.
00:57:00
>> Okay. Okay. This is the truth of the matter. Okay. I'm going to I'm be honest
00:57:03
with you. didn't tell me I'm a good boss. >> Tell Andrew He didn't say that.
00:57:08
>> Thank you. >> He loves you. >> Thank you. >> Fancy. >> He didn't say that.
00:57:13
>> Say you swear on your daughter's life. He didn't say that. >> SAY
00:57:19
>> you swear on your daughter's life. >> On your daughter's life.
00:57:21
>> Say it. >> No. No. No. Don't. >> No. No. No. Don't. You can't. What
00:57:27
you're saying, even if you're crossing your little toes and your fingers and
00:57:30
you're thinking something else, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is true, right?
00:57:35
Say on your daughter's life that he didn't say that. >> He didn't.
00:57:40
>> On your on my daughter's life. Say that. Say he didn't say that on my daughter's
00:57:45
life. >> He didn't say that on my daughter's life. Let's go. >> Okay.
00:57:51
>> Okay. >> You get a phone call right now. Your wife is like, "She's dead."
00:57:54
>> Yeah. >> I I can't believe you would let your daughter die. >> Crazy.
00:58:03
So crazy >> for just the show. >> Yeah, just for the show. Yeah, >> that's to give the show.
00:58:08
>> Wow. >> Call the hospital. >> Wow. Wow. >> Call the hospital right now.
00:58:11
>> Call the hospital. Yeah. >> Um I believe here's the deal. Here's the
00:58:15
deal. >> There's a lot of bits. We're doing >> We're lot doing a lot of bits. I was
00:58:17
ripping on you and and here's the honest truth. Even with my notoriety and some of my income, right, I still
00:58:26
don't do better than you when it comes to the ladies. And historically, I haven't. Mhm.
00:58:32
>> So maybe it's a little bit my of my >> Yeah. So >> you still have dragon's breath.
00:58:40
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> I'm doing the camera. >> You still have that. You still have all
00:58:43
those things. But still historically you've always done better than me when it comes to the attraction of the
00:58:49
opposite sex. So but dragons breath ogre troll. Thank you for being a bad friend.
00:59:03
Woo! Woo! Woo!