00:00:00
you two are bad friends who are these two idiots a white dude and an Asian
00:00:05
dude you two are disgusting you two or something we're
00:00:10
bad friends so um I would like to open up this podcast by saying I appreciate
00:00:16
you me yeah I think that I think that I honestly know I you know I've been
00:00:23
thinking about you laying in bed when I lay in bed kala's asleep usually and I just kind of lay in bed and I think
00:00:29
about you and I get warm fuzzies and I think to myself what a lucky guy I am well I'm
00:00:35
lucky to have you as a friend yeah I'm lucky to have you um to work with you
00:00:40
because you're one of the top comedy talents that I could I it's like a if I had a wish list of the best people I
00:00:47
could do it with you be in the top of the list I'm very lucky in that way uh we have great chemistry I just am
00:00:52
blessed to have you in my life and um I just think that you're a great guy man I
00:00:58
love you Bob I love you too man I love you too and um you know I think that
00:01:04
you're just so talented you know what's great about you as well yeah is you are
00:01:11
um you're handsome huh you're a good-looking guy as well where's this going nowhere this
00:01:18
genuine yeah you know what dude it's no honestly dude bro I've just had a
00:01:25
rebirth man really you feel yeah and I have other things I want to say I want to say the Jews oh wow are you done with
00:01:31
me there's so much I can say no I just want to say thank you not only that I just think that um your wife is a super
00:01:39
it's like a superb human yeah like she was made you know almost perfectly yes
00:01:45
yeah you both were thank you and I think that you come from great stock Bobby no I really your parents dude I don't know
00:01:52
much about them yeah even your OG dad you know I'm sure he was crazy and violent and whatnot yeah but I'm sure
00:01:58
that he is just um to legit genetically one Too Legit to Quit one of the greatest yeah well can I say something
00:02:05
about you please you are by far my
00:02:10
favorite comedian thank you sorry my favorite Korean comedian okay I take that I you know
00:02:17
what I take it and I mean that and I think it's great name another Korean comedian that's as good as you Ken
00:02:23
Jong [ __ ] yeah I didn't think about but yeah all right you know you're probably
00:02:28
making listen to a bit but toere let me be sincere all right you're one of the most talented people I've ever known in my entire life appreciate
00:02:35
it I love you uhhuh I'm so happy that we're doing this show together there's only one problem with this show
00:02:42
what yeah is Rudy I know and um she's so spoiled and I told you guys in the
00:02:47
parking lot she got a gift someone sent you an amazing gift and I don't know if you deserve it and Bobby actually said
00:02:53
don't give it to her yeah but can I just finish my thing or no may may I because I want to move on from it
00:03:00
okay I do I want I want to say what my piece I want to move on from it before you say anything are you are you still
00:03:06
smoking or no I've gone to three a day it worked it's working it's working yes
00:03:12
it's working feels good I feel great I feel great about life and I feel good do you feel better genuinely I do and I
00:03:18
feel like breathing let me hear you breathe into the mic feels great sounds good uh-huh um Jules you know um if I
00:03:25
had a daughter I probably would want you as my daughter I think that you are um what a great lady mhm she um cleans
00:03:33
vomit cat vomit she does yeah she does and you do it perfectly you she does she
00:03:40
I I love your animation your anime um likes animation anime like you you've
00:03:47
recommended me some I love them all yeah I think that you're pure at heart um Andreas you're um you're better looking
00:03:54
than pu uh you're better looking than puol who's puol he was a defend you know puol yeah he's a Defender for
00:04:01
Barcelona I think that you're uh you move like uh Iniesta you another another
00:04:08
[ __ ] soccer player soer I think that um when I smell you I don't smell you know nasty
00:04:14
beans fancy beans I smell fancy beans I think you're a great guy George if you're listening you're one of my
00:04:20
favorite people in the world world yeah I really do and I'll tell you why I'm doing this and I'll tell you why there's
00:04:27
an explanation to all this you know I'm tell um you know I got a sometimes I go on the Graham mhm I go
00:04:35
on the Graham yeah what was on the gram and um you know this guy just you know I
00:04:42
don't you know I get a lot of um direct messages you know and um God you're such a massive [ __ ] to
00:04:48
Santino that's the first sentence that CES out of it is that what he said yeah God you're such a massive C stina you
00:04:55
have all these ball gaggling Copans around you that validate your shitty
00:05:01
Behavior are you 50 [ __ ] years old and he leaves it at that you're 49 48 48
00:05:07
yeah and you go it's not a Saar anymore dude it's just bullying and you know what usually I
00:05:13
don't know this guy but you know I I went at first I was in a rage when I
00:05:19
read it I threw the phone this [ __ ] son of a can I see it I want to see his name
00:05:25
yeah I want to see his profile don't say his name of course not no Need No need no need yeah no need so no need but I
00:05:31
want to see his profile yeah look at his profile so I can thank him no yeah so um and you know when I got that message I I
00:05:38
did some introspection yeah and I thought to myself um this guy has a
00:05:43
point um what a piece of [ __ ] I am and I need to be better around the
00:05:50
people around me because the people around me love and they don't need my toxic poisonous you know words to hurt
00:05:58
them and slash them down every day you know I need to be more uplifting and so for the rest of this podcast my
00:06:03
friend I am going to approach it right as a Christian I am going to approach it
00:06:10
in the purest form I can I'm not going to degrade anybody okay I'm not going to make fun of anybody I'm just going to be
00:06:16
Mr positive okay and I think that that's going to be my new route in life I Found
00:06:22
A New Path you know so um but okay let me let me ask two things one this guy is
00:06:29
a fan of you obviously right sure and thank you for being
00:06:35
one but he's obviously a fan I love him so maybe he's taking it too serious when
00:06:40
we joke around with each other I appreciate the um the notes and I appreciate your criticism and I took it
00:06:47
to heart thank you friend you took it to heart yeah well I'll say this I love you
00:06:53
to death love you you're the greatest guy I've ever met okay this is not it's working but can I tell you what you said
00:06:59
can can I say what you said after that no don't read my response well no you he said are you I don't read my response
00:07:05
well he said are you 50 years old years old yeah effing I say I say effing now
00:07:10
I'm changing I don't use the f- word anymore yeah yeah uh and you said 48 yeah you just wrote 48 that's what I
00:07:17
read it's not satar anymore dude it's just bullying I get unsubscribed yada
00:07:22
yada yada what is he saying there oh he's going to unsubscribe from us yeah from our show yeah huh he's defending me but
00:07:30
he doesn't want to see us together anymore yeah he just want to he wants to break it up he wants to break us up yeah no I I think that he just doesn't find
00:07:38
um the way I approach the podcast is um positive and he thinks it's he later
00:07:44
says that whatever everything I say is cringeworthy so um and I really took it
00:07:50
to heart so I I don't want to say cringeworthy things and I want to change I'm getting too old to be combative and
00:07:57
being I'm just think I feel like I'm too mean this is positive I guess so I want to be positive and I want to change my
00:08:02
stuff so U I think this podcast is going to be completely just positive for me and I'm not going to say anything
00:08:08
negative and I love the way you Bobble your head it's cute I really do um I have to say this that I saw the
00:08:16
documentary you recommended which one John and Aliens John talks to John tries
00:08:21
to talk to aliens how fun was that you didn't like it I mean um I wish
00:08:27
I could get the 17 minutes back it's 17 minutes it's hard to do this positive
00:08:33
but um this is what that guy was talking about I know I know I know this is what the guy's talking about so let me just
00:08:39
uh the reason there's a beautiful love story I think the love is good you know it's another bad you know it's another
00:08:45
bad uh documentary you shouldn't watch and I mean it what Netflix is U uh I am
00:08:50
a murderer released it's about a guy that had a life sentence he did 30 years and then Texas overturned his death
00:08:55
sentence and he got released and I'm thinking this is going to be good they introduced this woman he goes to live with this woman he calls mama and I
00:09:01
think they're sleeping with each other and I think right away well I want to watch it so don't give it away I'm not going to but I think right away with
00:09:07
this woman he goes to live with what do you think he's gonna kill her I'm like he's got to kill her or does
00:09:14
he does he nothing fun nothing fun happens nothing no oh nothing happens
00:09:20
it's not worth watching no I texted netf I emailed Netflix what is what is this what can we go back to John go back to
00:09:25
John yeah yeah um so um I found it watching and I go this is very interesting you know this documentary
00:09:32
right and it's about a guy right who um he no let's start with uh let's start
00:09:38
with he had a traumatic childhood yes and um he was I gets beaten by his
00:09:46
parents they were drug addicts or what think by everybody yeah yeah yeah and his grandparents I love grandparents like this by the way so nice they go
00:09:53
well um I'm going to take you out of this toxic situation and we're going to raise you ourselves yeah and then so at
00:10:00
that point I think that's when I lost me and he you know and then John goes um um
00:10:06
can I talk to aliens and they were like what do you mean kiddo I just can I have
00:10:12
a half a million dollars so I can buy the equipment and they're like well we've been saving all of our Lives yeah
00:10:18
and then so they what they do is they they're sitting in their living room and this piece of [ __ ] starts building you
00:10:24
know what I mean you know he takes over the whole house he takes over the whole house building all this equipment to the
00:10:29
aliens you know and I just think that it would have been a little better that if the grandparents said uh half a million
00:10:34
dollars and he goes yeah and they said NASA we they do it they have it yeah but he wants to be
00:10:42
no no no no no they have it they talk to aliens they've been up there yeah but in 1977 they launched the Voyager 2 which
00:10:49
reached what they all the planets it went circul all the planet all the planets that's insane in our solar
00:10:55
system yeah they went to Venus they saw the the off moons as well they didn't go to all of them yes they did they took
00:11:00
they used the rotation of the my point is is that can you name the planets yeah Mercury very good mother go ahead yeah I
00:11:08
don't know that in order but Venus Jupiter Saturn right Mars yeah um Venus
00:11:17
said that already what what about Serena um Uranus Venus Serena Serena
00:11:24
Uranus urethra yeah Venus and and
00:11:29
um Cal Williams up Williams but anyway so um I would said I
00:11:37
would no I would have said that and then it's like and then you know he found another fatty that he [ __ ] hey hey I
00:11:43
love it I love it be positive I love the love I know you're right he found the love of his life he found the love of
00:11:48
his life and they made no just they right you're right you're right you're right I'm trying to correct myself found the love of his life right and at the
00:11:54
end he um makes out with her him well they kiss because they're in love they in love and uh you don't want to see men
00:12:00
kiss I love it I love it I love it I love it and I was watching it and I
00:12:06
turned to kila I was blushing yeah you know I mean and I did a tremble you know what I mean I think it was a love tremble okay it wasn't negative what did
00:12:13
kav say she goes oh and I went like but you know what I think that
00:12:18
was a love um ggle I think the problem was because they both have big heavy beards yeah and anyway so good luck to
00:12:24
them yeah good luck and thank you so much um all that equipment by the way that all the money they spent is now in
00:12:29
a warehouse it's in a warehouse and no one's using it yeah because it doesn't work I know but it's the only thing he likes oh can I just say one last thing
00:12:35
sure right it's like um so he what was he he was sending music up there right yes he was like broadcasting he Nigerian
00:12:42
afro Funk right he's like he's sending Nigerian an afuck up up in space right
00:12:48
and what I want to ask him is just put up some Adele sh that people like a little bit of AD yeah yeah Adele yeah
00:12:55
yeah yeah some tunes yeah yeah don't put out like you know what I mean this is um albino country music from [ __ ]
00:13:00
Argentina they don't want to hear that yeah well maybe they do they want to hear pop how do you know what aliens like but that's the thing you don't know
00:13:07
that they like Nigerian afro Punk they might but also throw out some stuff that
00:13:14
we all like right a little bit of Beach Boys yeah some Whitney uh Whitney Houston yes some Whitney I get it you
00:13:21
know beat it whatever if you're going to send if you're going to send music to space What are you sending what's the
00:13:26
top three things you'll send I would probably send um um some sort of Opera oh okay because you know it shows um
00:13:34
vocally a Maria probably a Maria yeah right very good song right I would
00:13:39
probably send also some um I would send something poppy like Whitney or
00:13:44
something okay you know how will I know yeah I would probably sell uh probably the Eagles o yeah pass no what hotel
00:13:53
California not Hotel C like um easy easy take it easy take it easy can I tell you
00:13:59
something I'm being genuine right now yeah yeah when I was going through this this um my ocular migraines in college
00:14:05
and I was having really bad panic attacks and sending me to the ER because I couldn't see out of my left eye and I thought I was dying take it e that's not
00:14:12
funny I just no you're right are you okay no are you okay don't pretend no
00:14:18
I'm not trying to pretend I like I want [ __ ] change I like old Bobby I want to [ __ ] change I like old Bobby no I don't want I want I want this new one
00:14:24
you're supposed to make fun of me when I say something like that no I'm not going to are you okay really I'm going to keep tempting you are you okay I hit my face
00:14:31
on my counter when I passed out during an earthquake what do you think and I you know what when that happened I was
00:14:38
it was sad funny no you thought it was funny I wanted to go I wanted to go to the hospital I wish I was there with you
00:14:43
at the hospital okay so anyway I did I used to listen to the Eagles take it easy because it calmed me down but I
00:14:49
don't even like the eagles I know I think I think they're great what three songs would you send to space or three
00:14:56
bands um one would be an anime song and then I
00:15:03
that's why you're not in charge of it just one that's why we would never put you it will never be a documentary
00:15:09
Jewels talks to aliens because that they would talk back actually they probably love anime you know what Kila did she
00:15:15
spent $5,000 or something to put her name on a plaque that's on a satellite
00:15:20
that was sent to the thing oh yeah yeah and 50,000 people did it you think the aliens going to grab the [ __ ]
00:15:25
satellite and go Kila yeah no yeah they are no they're going explod it no they're going to take it and go and
00:15:31
another [ __ ] thing K did is one time one time she you know what she did she goes um I go where are we going it's 4
00:15:38
in the morning mhm we're going to go see the the launching of the satellite into the the plaque into space
00:15:44
whatever and I go okay I'm going to sleep that's the old me the new me would
00:15:51
go thank you where are we going I got my binoculars let's go good boy yeah yeah
00:15:57
I've got my little [ __ ] antenna hat well now that I have you in this good mood yeah I think I think but got to
00:16:02
tell you what happened tomorrow morning we should go for a walk together I love it and let's go you want to go hiking I'll bring my shoes 9:00 a.m. will you
00:16:07
go I'll be there and we'll look at the butterflies and the trees well there is no butterflies whatever it is but there's trees is there fresh air 9:30
00:16:15
are you going to be there I'll be there that's the most important thing you didn't even tell us the songs we cut her off an anime song and what else let me
00:16:21
just finish this thing right just give her two more let her have two more
00:16:26
um maybe a rock song so that aliens would be curious what rock song um maybe
00:16:33
like Nirvana okay pretty good I like that a that's a good choice pretty good what song what song though um Teen
00:16:41
Spirit or lithium lithium lii very good I would
00:16:47
do rape me yeah yeah that makes sense I would do rape me cuz that's a signal to tell them come on down it's just a good
00:16:54
song and it's also teaches them about you know bad things too life right right
00:17:00
what else what are you looking for on the floor did you lose something no I thought I dropped my um rubber band oh
00:17:06
and then maybe a a classic song or a classic song like
00:17:12
what I don't know yes you do throw it out there yes you do I don't know
00:17:18
anything she doesn't know any yeah you don't know any yeah you don't know one classic rock song not a rock song No
00:17:26
classic song you don't know any classic songs do you know a beetle song maybe a beetle song what's Beetle song um hey
00:17:33
June hey June he June hey June's a good song Hey jun j when is it
00:17:40
April yeah it's a good song so that's good you'll send hey June up there yeah
00:17:45
yeah hey jun's a good here's my three ready yeah go ahead Otis reading great Sitting on the
00:17:52
Dock of the Bay unconventional song there's a lot of different but I like it because it's a song he wrote before he died so I like it he died Otis died oh
00:18:00
crashed in a in a plane crash that with Richie Richie Richie Val Valley bro he
00:18:07
died uh in Lake manona which is in Madison Wisconsin oh [ __ ] you know those two lakes that surround Madison you
00:18:12
course the wake wake monono lake lake Monona yeah yeah and he died in one of them one of them crashed Otis reading
00:18:18
anything really about Otis reading uh I would send them
00:18:24
uh really any radio head that's really tough but I would send them something by radio head I just put you know what I
00:18:29
would send them the whole Okay computer computer Al you like that do I like Okay
00:18:34
computer yeah cuz you don't seem artsy in that way oh Bobby but you are you're creative thank you thank you see that
00:18:41
that's just you judging you don't know enough about what I like because you just white D stiff white um I'm a stiff
00:18:47
white dude no no I'm saying I'm friends with hip-hop artists I know I know some
00:18:52
too you know who what one friend do you have in hip-hop I have a friend named Marshall he's pretty good is he who what
00:18:59
Marshall what I don't know he's his name is Eminem or something like that you're not friends with Eminem I did his video
00:19:04
so that he because he like he because he wanted a chunky Korean guy in the video that so you're were friends with him now we talked and we hung out really dud
00:19:10
text him call him no why do you have his number no not friends also you I need to
00:19:15
have the number to have to be friends with somebody yep you're right I I you know what I [ __ ]
00:19:21
up you're have a gift oh great what is it
00:19:30
I have a gift for Rudy yeah so this is from our friend small
00:19:36
plate blades and this is maybe one of the coolest things on earth go ahead and there you go oh my God open that up wait
00:19:42
till you see how cool this looks look at the handle on that thing how beautiful is that that's handmade that's a
00:19:47
handmade kife now take it out of its sheath be careful just pull there you go
00:19:53
look at that thing how beautiful what does the handle look like here give it to me I'll give it to
00:19:59
Bob let me see how incredible is this knife handmade look at that it's
00:20:05
absolutely stunning is [ __ ] stunning dude and it's Sharp As [ __ ] well yeah could be careful be very care I just
00:20:11
want to do this no yeah yeah don't cut yeah go AC but you know it's down the street not across the road if you're
00:20:16
going to do it ah definitely don't yeah go it's a great knife this is your beautiful knife what do you think it's
00:20:22
really uh beautiful say thank you thank you to whoever whoever made it small plate BL
00:20:29
blades all right let me go back to you want me to go back to myself yeah of course is it not working I just I want
00:20:34
you to be you and he made us one Bob look at this and what does that say bad
00:20:40
friends bad friends me dude dude dude so um it's I'm I'm so glad that this we're
00:20:46
doing this ad because number one you know I say I when I say I love something
00:20:52
yeah on these it's not just because they're paying me right because check this out it's so funny cuz I didn't know
00:20:57
we're going to do it today I'm wearing me now those are cute little pandas yes little pandas cutesy honestly honestly
00:21:03
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00:21:25
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00:21:31
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00:21:37
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00:22:43
just another bed in a box I literally I I wrote it off at the beginning I was like okay they're going to send me a beted a bed in a box no it blew my mind
00:22:50
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00:22:55
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00:23:00
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00:23:06
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fast a water fast I I there's a show called well and I've been watching it with my girlfriend you want to just
00:24:31
drink water yeah people do 30day water fasts and I want to do a water fast I
00:24:37
think one guy died one guy died one guy died yeah one guy died but um I want to
00:24:42
do what today I haven't eaten all day cuz I watch that fast documentary so I'm going to um try not to eat
00:24:49
really yeah I don't know if that's a good idea I got to figure something out I have to read I have to I you know I I
00:24:55
I've been stagnant maybe you need I'm fat and I just want to eat pizza so [ __ ] badly all the time it is the
00:25:00
best I have six [ __ ] Lum Mal natis pizzas in my freezer and they're just
00:25:05
been sitting there because I'm trying every time I eat a pizza my neck hurts and I want to [ __ ] I do I know but
00:25:11
your neck hurts from eating pizza yeah and my neck hurts my do you eat I eat the whole thing and my whole my blood
00:25:18
pressure shoots through the roof my neck hurts and I can't move and I feel like [ __ ] it like cripples you yeah and but
00:25:23
then I yesterday I'm like I'll go to [ __ ] um um I'll go to men the C farms
00:25:29
and get the impossible salad you know the impossible meat sure so they SL it's not good it's not good for you they put
00:25:35
it in there and I shaked it up I ate it I'm like oh that didn't feel good and then I so healthy food doesn't feel good
00:25:41
either well it doesn't feel like you ate anything it's like eating air so then I and then um last night um I didn't
00:25:47
really eat much and then today I'm getting out of fast so I need to change my life and so they're doing um I was
00:25:53
watching that documentary well and then there's another episode about um tantric oh I want to do that maybe I want like
00:26:01
somebody's fingers on my belly and I want a orgasm without you know ejaculation but you know how hard that
00:26:06
is they they have to you have to last hours and hours and hours without I want a two-hour orgasm with you with me I don't know why I said that
00:26:14
wait seriously are you being serious no I don't know why I said that to you I would love it I would love it I would do two do you want a tantrick I would do a
00:26:21
two two hour tantric orgasm how much we could open an only fans and see how many people would pay for us to tantri well
00:26:27
there's a lady in in um in Mexico that we could stay at her place H yeah I
00:26:32
would do a 2our her name was last name is Cobra real May it's like Sasha Martha
00:26:38
Cobra or something Martha Cobra and she uh no she's white oh okay she's white what's going on in Mexico she has her
00:26:44
own Institute a tantric sex interest why it's illegal probably to do here I don't know but you and I could get naked and
00:26:50
um she put she puts her fingers on your belly why in your belly I don't know in your button maybe sometimes do you have
00:26:57
an in or an Al and she goes goes you know just Giggle and then in the documentary they were giggling so I
00:27:02
would love to get naked and giggle with you and then and then and then what she does is and then cry if you want to so
00:27:08
they cry and then they go laugh and then they
00:27:13
orgasm together so I would love to lock eyes with you and just orgasm without being gay what do you mean how is it gay
00:27:20
I just don't want and that to be thrown in why they're just no gay what's I
00:27:25
don't it's just friends it's just two two guys naked laughing orgas or
00:27:31
together what's there's nothing gay about no it's fine that's cool yeah we could touch each other yeah yeah but not
00:27:38
like like hold hands well but don't they say you also you T we can tickle noses
00:27:43
we can we could tickle noses we we you know what we also could do yeah cuz we're laying side by side together right
00:27:49
yeah our dicks aren't out yeah they are they might be in in my mind they are yeah yeah but but in the in the document
00:27:55
they they have a blanket over which way is it dick your dick laying you know how lays sometimes straight up I'm hard oh you are yeah straight up how soft for
00:28:02
the whole thing yeah oh you are well tantri says you have to really calm yourself and pace yourself so I would lay next to you I'll have it'll be doing
00:28:08
this you know when it does that you know when it's going down and it's popping getting heartbeat back yeah and then out of nowhere some's like whoa and you're
00:28:14
like oh and it comes down and I would lay next to you and I would just um you know giggle come and then cry and I
00:28:22
think that would you want a snuggle at the end you want a spoon nah come on I walk away oh you're going to leave me me
00:28:28
the way I am I might even take a plane without you and just leave that's kind of hot yeah yeah you leave me you smoke
00:28:33
a cigarette and you go see you back in La no don't even do that flick it on me don't even do that Bobby no we we do the
00:28:39
session right yeah I literally like a zombie get up get up pack my [ __ ] and get out and I
00:28:47
just take a Mexican Uber and I'm out of there you want to fast with me yeah no no I can't drink just water I can't do
00:28:54
it but what it says it resets your your body but you can reset your body in other ways like how uh by doing
00:28:59
stretching exercising mindful meditation you know I've been trying to do that really difficult to do yeah because my
00:29:06
water heater went out and I was two weeks without water I don't know the name of the company but I but I do want to defame
00:29:12
them on our podcast I will defame the home owners insurance company that screwed us over so the water heater at
00:29:18
your home I was going I was went out had two weeks of cold showers you pee in the shower I pee right outside of the shower
00:29:24
do do you really PE you don't pee in I pee in the shower every time yeah me too don't doesn't everybody do you pee in theer PE in the shower of course you pee
00:29:31
in the shower yeah yeah yeah fancy do you no fancy doesn't pee in the shower
00:29:36
yeah of course cuz he's fancy why why don't you fancy you go in the toilet of course loser are you afraid to pee in
00:29:42
the shower it goes it's the same drain do you pee in the swimming pool I pee in my pool it's my pool but in a public
00:29:48
pool have you peed if it's in a public pool I'll get out and I'll stand up and I'll I'll pull it out and I'll pee right into
00:29:55
it I won't pee while I'm swimming no but I I I I always pee in a public pool you're supposed to that's they're public
00:30:02
that's the whole point of a public pool is to pee in it but can I so I would love to take a poll of how many people pee in the shower I'm offended you don't
00:30:08
pee in the shower fancy that so so stupid but one time I went to Splash
00:30:13
Mountain Six Flags yeah you not that's Splash Mountain they have a water park attached to Six Flags did you know that
00:30:20
yeah I think water slide that's what I mean yeah right and around the Waterside Park I swear to God I did this around
00:30:27
the water Light Side slide park there's a river Lazy River it's like a lazy
00:30:33
river right yes and 10,000 kids are in this River oh yeah right oh yeah and I
00:30:38
went in the river and my friend laan I have a friend named laan I know my friend laan he's a skater
00:30:44
okay L goes dude Duna in there bro and I go why it's it'll be funny I'll take the
00:30:49
life ra Duna in there broh I wouldn't go in there I go why he goes you know how
00:30:55
many kids [ __ ] in there and piss in there mhm and I go dude look at the river that's like I drink that water
00:31:02
you're like dude I'm going to sh and piss in that water I might that's why I'm getting in I went to the
00:31:08
hospital why I went straight to the hospital you got an infection I had to put they had to drain my body I had an
00:31:14
effect I had diarrhea I almost died dude that water is [ __ ] like rancid it's
00:31:21
so gross it's it's all by it's all bacteria peeing all day because what I
00:31:26
did was I was I wasy trying to be funny I was on the tube my friend laen was like dude get out of there bro right and
00:31:34
I was like drinking the water oh God like just to be funny you know what I mean like dude what look next
00:31:41
thing I I swear to [ __ ] God dude that place should shut down yeah but just don't get in that water you're right let
00:31:47
little I love water slides though you do yeah I don't like them I love them I
00:31:52
don't like them why because I went I I fell off one in high school did you really yeah yeah
00:31:59
I I went to a I went to a fair once in delmare
00:32:05
and they had roped off a section I go and then I looked at this roller coaster
00:32:10
and there was a father and a kid dangling they had fallen off the roller
00:32:16
coaster shut up yeah and I remember going hurry I want to get on it not I
00:32:22
being real I would cuz I thought that I didn't know what it was at first you didn't know they were in danger yeah they didn't die but they were about to
00:32:28
did they I don't know but I was like hurry up you know what I mean let's go cuz I was waiting in the line I think or
00:32:34
something I I I went to Six Flags one time when they shut it down it was called Six Flags Great America in in
00:32:40
Chicagoland and they shut it down because one of the rides got stuck and the people were in it sideways stuck
00:32:47
sideways sitting in the in the chair sideways oh wow on a on a like on a bank an embankment curve yeah and they're
00:32:52
like help help and honestly I stared for like five minutes and then afterwards I was like
00:32:58
let's go yeah really I don't want to see if they get K if they die her family
00:33:03
yeah they build water slides cowards yeah we went to Disneyland right every
00:33:09
ride Disneyland yeah it's not Magic Mountain I rode everything the no
00:33:15
yeah we go to the Guardians of Galaxy Light ride awesome did you see it we ride it yeah it's awesome the it's
00:33:21
awesome right I don't want to why why why I'm scared what are you scared of
00:33:27
what of the roller coasters and like the up and down nobody dies on them other
00:33:33
than Kyle Schmidt 10-year-old boy four years ago most people don't die yeah I'm not I'm not scared of them at all some
00:33:39
people just don't like one out of 100 people die maybe maybe a little bit more maybe one out of 70 but you're not going
00:33:44
to be one of the one yeah you think you're going to be the one that dies on a roller coaster are you scared of planes no cuz you guys took a boat to
00:33:52
get over here I think I feel like you're what are you scared of other than roller coasters just that I just don't like um
00:33:58
the gForce but your father and your mother wouldn't go on the other ones oh it's a family thing you know that right
00:34:04
yeah yeah you don't like the G's you don't like to be pushed back in your seat does it make you well they don't have that in the Philippines you don't
00:34:09
have roller not us not they're not used to it life is a roller coaster in the Philippines I know their whole life yeah
00:34:16
getting through the day is tough they don't have fairs in the Philippines do they not have like a summer fair just a
00:34:21
few just like a ferris wheel have you done a ferris wheel yeah that's okay I'm okay with that what about the one where
00:34:27
you stick to the wall That's the GeForce one what's that called I know that one you know where whips around so fast I love that one what's that called do you
00:34:33
know what I'm talking you don't know what this is you're in like a in like a circular room yeah and it's it it just
00:34:39
starts going and you get sucked against the wall and sometimes you people see people vomit and splashes right back in
00:34:45
their face yeah it happens a lot actually go the guy next to him and you and then you see the funny guy like the
00:34:51
jackass guy like the kid he stands up who tries to stand up on it the carnival riding the Gravitron the Gravitron
00:34:58
Gravitron there's people that will stand up when the grav that's what I'm saying you always see guys trying to do that
00:35:04
how to ride it like a pro watch this guy watch this guy okay there's all the GeForce see
00:35:10
they're on the wall yeah look at this dude he's standing up oh my
00:35:21
god oh they're moving oh he loves it he doesn't care at all
00:35:26
yeah oh there's another guy doing it I was never that guy yeah I was
00:35:33
always this was me right here yeah that's me just arms up panic the whole time yeah and look at the carnival ride
00:35:40
guy in the middle here look at this freak I love this dude I think it's a cool life to be able to just move towns
00:35:46
they call them cars that's what we're that's basically what Comics are we're cars yeah I think I would I would do
00:35:52
that I would do it why you just travel around have fun yeah man uh I eat you know I eat uh fried Twinkies fried Oreos
00:36:00
for breakfast lunch and dinner and uh I get to look at the girls look at the girls they never get to [ __ ] them though
00:36:05
no of course not no well maybe they never get the [ __ ] what about the people that work in the freak Show maybe they maybe they're fun to party with oh dude
00:36:11
dude that's barn barnab and Bailey baram and Bailey dude that's I think I did
00:36:17
that in the previous life you were a Barnum Bailey no I was a I was in part of a show oh you were like part of the
00:36:23
freak Show yeah yeah what was your freak no no legs yeah you you were fin arms
00:36:29
Stumpy fin arms hairy face Stumpy fin arm hairy face and I would sit there in a a cage right yeah and people would pay
00:36:37
a dollar just to walk in 50 cents 75 7575 75 cents right and they
00:36:44
just they would go like this they would look at me St right they would yeah they would walk in there it is they wouldn't
00:36:49
say he there it is and you they would look right at me yeah and they would
00:36:55
go and spit right in my face everyone lugie right and I would eat them out of
00:37:00
the air catch the yeah yeah yeah yeah and no one ever taught me how to speak
00:37:06
[Music] oh that's how it say people would spit in your mouth yeah yeah you would just
00:37:12
catch I think that I was yeah I think the scariest movie I've ever seen by far
00:37:18
cuz I was a kid when I saw it was David Lynch's The Elephant Man oh my God oh my
00:37:24
God image burned into my brain burned in my brain [Laughter]
00:37:31
well how did he sound a I mean this we have to play the you
00:37:37
sleep for a week do you know what the Elephant Man is animal The Elephant Man Mooney I'm a human being I'm not an
00:37:43
animal human being yeah I'm not an this is scene this is Rudy do you know what elephant man is no it's a real guy by
00:37:50
the name of John Merrick that's right he really existed he had elephant titas of the face but back in London or whatever
00:37:56
right yeah he um he was a circus Sideshow guy but was whipped and and
00:38:02
treated poorly I mean they they basically they beat they beat him him into being they like enslaved him in
00:38:07
John hert played him John Hurt yeah the actor John Hurt oh hurt I was like not
00:38:14
John herd hurt yeah John Hurt yeah John herd had passed away yeah good actor by
00:38:19
the way great guy so John her stop that man stop him
00:38:25
now did he just get go go golfing what is that a golf club what is that oh
00:38:32
oh oh no oh
00:38:40
no looks like Tony
00:38:46
Hinchcliffe oh no the cage oh no oh the [Music]
00:38:55
cage oh how
00:39:02
heartbreaking what do you think Rudy it's sad it is they treated because look
00:39:07
different you know what's so funny it's not okay 20 years ago right yeah 20
00:39:13
years ago I was watching this going chop his head up you know just you know how
00:39:18
you know back then you a mob mentality get the B you know what I mean yeah get him you're not you're an animal you know
00:39:24
what I mean whatever right and now when I just saw that dude I got [ __ ] emotional bro right that's so sad what
00:39:32
people used to do doesn't that tell you something about what's going on I changed I think doesn't that tell you something about what's going on now think I think what's going on now is
00:39:39
helpful some of the things that you know the social you know the social mob I
00:39:45
think some of it it has you know some of it some of it some of it's a little too far some of it's insane all right but
00:39:51
it's like um that really cuz as a kid I was just like get him you know yeah
00:39:58
even when he said that [ __ ] you you [ __ ] freak you know and just jab you
00:40:03
know jab the [ __ ] in his eyes you know what I mean the boy SL you know what I mean whatever you know but now
00:40:10
it's like I want to go come here you my bigheaded friend help him out and hold them and hold them not too close yeah
00:40:15
not no not his head to the side yeah yeah but I like you want to be my roommate right and have him come in they
00:40:22
really they really ridiculed just because the way he looked this is how people treat people see that Rudy what
00:40:27
does that teach you be nice just in the Philippines do they have things like that yeah oh dude I feel like the
00:40:33
Philippines has probably what have you seen there um faces that are burned like
00:40:39
like half like full or half that's crazy wait why did they get burned they burned
00:40:45
of fire there's a lot of fire accidents that happened there why are there so many fire accidents in the Philippines
00:40:50
um like the gasoline it's not um how do you say it it's not um hot no
00:40:59
is that really hot no the gasoline is just um you just buy a gasoline the the
00:41:06
tank yeah and then some people just leave it um on like oh so they I don't know
00:41:14
what you mean like I know what they mean they buy the tank of gasoline yeah they light it on fire and they go to sleep
00:41:20
and they just leave it they leave house on their house right next as a pillow is that a normal thing to just be like I
00:41:25
left to light it and walk away no they don't light it but do you mean propane yeah oh
00:41:32
prop gas propane gas they have propane accidents prop so it's a tank yeah and
00:41:37
what's it connected to like stoves stoves right yeah so so blows up a lot
00:41:42
yeah and then and then they all my have you ever had a close friend have a gas have a propane accident no nobody you
00:41:49
know nobody I know oh just you see people though and do people are people mean to them in the streets they do they
00:41:55
do yeah what do they say to them what's something that they would say like like ugly or um they say it out loud they
00:42:02
just yell ugly yeah or wow my God yeah society change that's bad they just yell
00:42:09
ugly yeah and they make fun of them like like push them around what really what
00:42:14
they [ __ ] shoulder check them [ __ ] [ __ ] hockey check they hockey check
00:42:19
yeah they tackle them is that normal is that normal to do do people not say anything when someone's mean to somebody
00:42:25
who has a burn uh um is there a nickname do they call them something yeah Bernie
00:42:31
no I don't I've never heard of nicknames they just they're mean to people in the streets like that yeah God that's so sad
00:42:37
sad that's so sad that you would just do that to someone probably cruel like for Halloween right they know a guy that was
00:42:44
in a fire so then you dress up as an egg right and you just kind of stand
00:42:50
next to him bacon you know whatever you I mean just [ __ ] [ __ ] up [ __ ] right [ __ ] up [ __ ] that's funny though yeah
00:42:57
but hey guys that's not me being mean it was just a hypothetical thing okay don't don't Instagram nothing featur hey Fe T
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everybody safe so they drop it off at your front door uh I think it's great to support your local businesses eating the
00:45:05
favorite restaurants that you like you don't have to go to there just stay at the house order the food Bobby does literally not I don't move I just get I
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off your first order with door Dash Okay so Rudy wants to take acting classes yeah baby and we want to get her into
00:45:43
the biz well yeah I I think that she has the uh the bug right now she's got the
00:45:48
potential for sure to potential right a great actor because I wish like how old were you when you first started I was uh
00:45:55
30 yeah like like didn't get a job until I was uh 27 or eight or something if I
00:46:03
started at 18 that would have been like I would have been the next uh Leo you think do you think so yeah man do you
00:46:09
think you would have been Leo the next Leo yeah Titanic tube righty Titanic the
00:46:15
boat comes back no the whole movie is underwater baby oh that's tight yeah I'm still living down there baby Aquaman
00:46:21
stuff yeah I do so you're you're living Anda still I'm still you know what I mean you're Jesus no I'm in the the
00:46:27
front of the boat you know what I mean I'm the I'm the king of the king of the world I'm the king of the
00:46:33
under under water world and then Kevin Cosner is gonna be there and he'll be there too
00:46:40
he'll be there yeah yeah and then Josh Jason Mamoa was he in Underwater World well he is the Aquaman oh yeah that's
00:46:47
right yeah yeah yeah he's hot and then you know who else is going to be in my movie who else I'm gonna have Nemo the
00:46:53
fish yeah nice Nemo SpongeBob okay okay it's great who else Titanic 2
00:46:59
right Titanic 2 um who else is going to be there is um Nemo SpongeBob yeah Bobby Lee Bobby Lee well do you get build
00:47:06
higher than those guys or does SpongeBob get top billing SpongeBob goes first so sponge featuring SpongeBob it's it's
00:47:12
three headline oh goes SpongeBob SpongeBob Nemo Nemo Bobby Lee right and
00:47:19
also featuring featuring Kevin Cosner Kevin Cosner you I mean as Jason Mamoa Jason moamoa right The Little Mermaid
00:47:27
the priest from The Little Mermaid who gets a boner yeah and Sebastian the crab yeah and then and a special special
00:47:35
appearance super special appearance John F Kennedy Jr and Jimmy haa and Jimmy
00:47:40
hofa cuz they're both at the bottom of the ocean right yeah yeah yeah together at last together at last in Titanic 2
00:47:49
and what's the subtitle Fun funwater World funder waterer funder waterer
00:47:55
funder waterer funder funder waterer I love it did she get a role in the movie no no she well she has to prce well she
00:48:02
auditioned five times she didn't get it screen tested her oh you did yeah what do the audience
00:48:07
think yeah well they couldn't understand what she was saying yeah what does the little brown girl say again yeah I can't
00:48:13
understand a word she's saying is that Dora is that Dora the Explorer now listen I like Mexican stuff yeah like
00:48:20
their food and their music but I just don't like her as it's like it's like an underwater Apocalypto I get it right
00:48:26
right there's Temple she's [ __ ] killing but how the Mexicans get in now did they swim under the wall
00:48:33
underwater yeah yeah yeah I have a scene for you I'd like you to read a very famous movie called on the waterfront do
00:48:39
you know what that is you've never heard of it in your life no okay Bobby's going to play opposite of you okay so we're
00:48:44
going to see I my L do I have lines we're going to put them up okay good but I want to see your acting ability okay and I want you to take this no no no no
00:48:51
don't do that take this serious do that no laughing don't do that please take it serious okay say I'll take it serious
00:48:58
I'll take it serious hell yeah and you don't you it's a scene from a movie it's from on the waterfront oh we're doing
00:49:03
three scenes but the first one we're doing is from on the waterfront the because everybody wants to know if you truly do have what it takes to make I'm
00:49:10
also scared because I've never seen the movie you've never seen it no Brando's in it right this is going to be good Brando's
00:49:16
in it right all right so look so so uh Am I who am I playing well you've
00:49:22
literally never seen this movie one time no do you have any reference to what it's about yeah I think it's by a it's
00:49:28
let me just guess let's have a guess it's the docks it's about what do you mean oh about the docks the water docks yeah yeah yeah it's not really on in the
00:49:35
middle of the ocean the movie I just remember it being in the docks you know Brando's in it and it's kind of black
00:49:41
and white yeah and it's uh dreary okay is it dreary yeah okay good
00:49:47
Dre's good good uh so here's the deal I'm G to read the the I'm going to read
00:49:52
the uh action yeah who am I playing well you're going to be Charlie and you're going to be Terry
00:49:57
okay rude okay and and I want you I'm Ser take it serious do you need to take a beat do you need to step outside
00:50:03
that's what they say in rooms you want to step outside okay Char Charlie continues looking at him he does not
00:50:09
deny it they stare at each other for a moment then suddenly Terry starts out of the cab Charlie pulls a pistol Terry's
00:50:15
motionless now looking at Charlie take the boss Landing kid for God's sakes I
00:50:21
don't want to hurt you hush gently guiding the gun down toward Charlie lap Charlie Charlie
00:50:28
wow I wish I didn't have to do this Terry Terry eyes in beaten Charlie leans back and looks at Terry strangely Terry
00:50:35
raises his hand above his head somewhat in the manner of a prize fighter knitting the crowd the image Nicks Charlie's
00:50:41
memory wow what do you weigh these days
00:50:48
sluger 87 88 88 what's it to
00:50:54
you g when you tip one 175 you were beautiful you should have been another
00:50:59
Billy con what that skunk I got to manage you brought you along too fast it
00:51:05
wasn't him it was you Charlie you and Johnny like the night the two of you come into the dressing room and says kid
00:51:12
this isn't this ain't your night we're going for the P for the prize on Wilson it ain't my night I I've taken Wilson
00:51:20
apart that night I was ready remember the early rounds throwing them combinations so what happens
00:51:27
this B he gets the title shot outdoors in the ballpark and what do I get a
00:51:34
couple of bucks and a one-way ticket to Pal pille Palookaville it was you
00:51:41
Charlie you was my brother you should have look out for me instead of making me take them Dives for the short short
00:51:49
end money I always had a bet down for you you saw some money see you don't
00:51:54
understand I try to keep you in good with j you don't understand I could have been a contender I could have been I could have
00:52:02
had class and been somebody real class instead of a bum let's face it which is
00:52:07
what I am it was you Charlie wow oh my God I might need to go home oh my God I
00:52:14
might need to go home is there an Oscar here did you have we have a we have an Andreas oh yeah we have an Andreas yeah
00:52:20
you me the statue God that was incredible Ming yeah com
00:52:28
Nation I mean you know when people read that on the script right you know as a regular actor or whatever it's just the
00:52:34
average actor I would I would have read it combination you read doing those one two combinations you know the great actors they take a word and they make it
00:52:41
their own like a like an like a balloon animal right right like a balloon at that she and you know normally people
00:52:48
would go you know how should I say this right combination right but and they they process it she didn't even process
00:52:54
it that's how fast it happened yeah yeah oh my
00:53:01
Goden that's that's incredible you're going to be a superstar yeah yeah next scene okay you and I Bob are going to
00:53:08
read a scene yeah yeah uh I want you and I to read a scene and it's uh from it's a great scene from Step Brothers which I
00:53:15
really love I haven't seen it uh they were at the dback house at night Dale and Brennan are laying separate beds to
00:53:21
each other you can pick whoever you wanted I'll start with Dale then okay go ahead yeah no Dale has a lot of lines I'll be br and remember this I'll we're
00:53:27
laying in separate beds in the middle of the night I'll be brenon and this is more for me than it is for anything go ahead I'll be brenon okay go ahead hey
00:53:35
you awake yeah I just want you to know I hate you and so does my dad well that's
00:53:44
fine cuz guess what I hate you too and this house sucks ass well the only reason you're living
00:53:51
here is cuz me and my Dad decided that your mom was really hot and maybe we should both just bang her
00:53:57
and we'll put up with the [ __ ] in the meantime who's the [ __ ] you hey you don't say that
00:54:04
shut shut up you wake up my dad and get me grounded just shut up you and your
00:54:10
mom are Hillbillies this is the house of learned doctors you're not a doctor and you're a big fat girly headed [ __ ] oh
00:54:17
yeah yeah I'm a girly headed [ __ ] yeah and you better not go to sleep as soon as your eyes shut I'm going to punch you
00:54:23
square in the face I hope hope you stay still when you sleep cuz I'm putting a rat trap between
00:54:30
your legs I'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it with bats bars of soap and
00:54:35
beat the [ __ ] out of you I want you out of my [ __ ] no way zimoi this is my
00:54:40
house now kimosabi oh I couldn't read it cuz my eyes are dude I can't read my
00:54:48
my eyes I need glasses that's good yeah yeah pretty good I like that scene yeah pretty good I like that scene Jewels now
00:54:55
though yeah we have one more that was really for me another uh this is the big Labowski this one is this is
00:55:02
great this is awesome so I want I I'm gonna be okay yeah you you do the lines
00:55:08
now I I already did it so I'm gonna do it with Rudy yeah but I want you to be um smokey Smokey is gonna come up at the
00:55:15
end of this scene okay and it's two lines all right so um she should play the D she should play Walter no cuz I
00:55:21
want her to get intense I want to feel her because because we saw the int inity Oh no
00:55:27
you're right we saw intensity out of out on the waterfront should we see her play the dude a stoner stoner or intens yeah
00:55:32
so the dude is a stoner yeah you know what Stoner is he smokes a lot of weed he's a man in his probably mid 40s late
00:55:40
late 40s yeah who lives in in in Los Angeles and can't get his life together he wears like he goes to the grocery
00:55:45
store wears like bathrob you know with sunglasses is you yeah yeah yeah yeah
00:55:50
you're playing me this is you and and and the other guy's a Vietnam yeah he's like hey dude you know you're going to
00:55:57
[ __ ] do it I think you're going to do it I think you're going to do it you're going to do it all right so you're playing the dude you're a pothead and
00:56:02
I'm going to be Walter and well depending on how it goes we can swap we go we can switch it around are you ready ready I'll let I'll do stage stage
00:56:09
direction do stage Direction he lets a small yapping dog out of the carrier it scoots around the bowling table sniffing
00:56:16
and bow at Bowlers and wagging its tail hey man if my [ __ ] ex-wife asked me
00:56:22
to take care of her [ __ ] dog while she and her boyfriend went to Honolulu I tell her to go [ __ ] herself why can't
00:56:28
she board it first of all dude you don't have an X secondly it's a [ __ ] show dog with papers you can't board it it
00:56:33
gets upset it it its hair falls out hey man [ __ ] dog has papers dude over the
00:56:39
line Smokey huh that's that's you that's you your stage direction oh yeah Smokey turns let's start it again let's try
00:56:46
again yeah yeah and let me say Let me say something yeah yeah yeah we get you note we'll going to give you a not right you're I think you're rushing through the line right more weed more weed
00:56:54
you're high settle in man if you [ __ ] exwife you nice and slow slow you don't
00:57:01
have to rush through it it's not a [ __ ] contest this isn't this isn't anime yeah yeah yeah okay there is no rapid scenes of shooting lights and yeah
00:57:08
yeah all right you ready okay okay really stoned you're Stone keep your eyes low too yeah there it is perfect
00:57:15
okay go ahead go ahead go ahead oh he lets a small yapping dog out of the carrier it scoots around the bowling
00:57:20
table sniffing at Bowlers and wagging its tail hey man
00:57:30
come on stop do the line again ready one two action hey man if my [ __ ] ex-wife
00:57:37
asked me to take care of her [ __ ] dog well she and her boyfriend went to Hulu wait stop stop stop it's way too fast
00:57:46
slow you read the line first no no the first line was perfect yeah you keep
00:57:51
that and right and that's what you keep okay do you want me to do a reading for you yeah yeah listen how this sounds
00:57:57
okay hey man if my [ __ ] ex-wife asked me to take care of her [ __ ] dog while
00:58:03
she and her boyfriend went to Hana Lulu I tell her to go [ __ ] herself why can't she board it see what I
00:58:10
mean nice and slow smooth right and action hey man if my [ __ ] ex-wife
00:58:19
asked me to take care of her [ __ ] dog while she and her boyfriend went to honululu I tell her to [ __ ] herself why
00:58:26
can't she board it first of all dude you don't have an ex secondly it's a [ __ ] show dog with [ __ ] papers you can't
00:58:32
board it it gets upset its hair falls out hey man [ __ ] dog has papers dude
00:58:37
over the line Smokey turns from his last Ro to look at Walter it's you Smokey huh you
00:58:45
again over the line Smokey I'm sorry that's a foul that's you that's you you're Smoky
00:58:51
[ __ ] eight dude excuse me market zero next frame
00:58:56
[ __ ] Walter this is not n this is bowling There are rules Come on Walter it's just it's Smokey so his toes slip
00:59:05
over a little it's just a game this is a league game this determines who enters the next round robin am I
00:59:10
wrong yeah but am I wrong yeah but I wasn't over give me the marker dude I'm
00:59:16
marking it on eight Smokey my friend you're entering a world of pain hey Walter Mark that frame eight dude you're
00:59:22
entering a world of pain I'm not a World of Pain look dude I don't hold with this
00:59:30
this guy is your partner you should has the whole world gone crazy am I the only one here who gives a [ __ ] about the
00:59:36
rules Market zero very good very good I think I think
00:59:41
uh they might do remakes one day I think you have I think you have a future in In The Biz but if there's anybody out there
00:59:46
listening if you guys are acting coaches uh with any Acclaim yeah yeah how about give her some free acting lessons but I
00:59:53
but I honestly think that she should take some sort of improp class to get you know like a UCB or something
00:59:59
something like that like you know you know I have a friend named Colton you know Colton dun something like that yeah he's he's an actor now he's a big guy
01:00:04
he's on U Superstore but um he's an actor and a very funny uh improv
01:00:10
comedian well he was a writer at matttv for years was he a standup at some point too no no but he also taught at UCB he's
01:00:16
a really talented guy but like I would like somebody like that to teach a class and have you know her enter it so that
01:00:23
she can um cuz you know she's shy yeah you know so it'll get her out of herself
01:00:30
learn she broken she's broken open on this show I think she has you know Colton's probably got the best job on Superstore he's paralyzed so he just get
01:00:37
to sit in a chair all day there's no standing at all yeah what a great gig it's a great gig I want to be paralyzed in my next role I want to be in a coma
01:00:44
that's what Eric Griffin says all the time really he wants to be he says his next show he wants to be a um he wants
01:00:50
to be a a detective a mental detective who gives Clues to people from a coma so
01:00:56
just walk up to him and touch his chest and it transfers dat you know transfers information to them so they know better
01:01:01
yet how about this better yet better yet you you I I'm in I'm a character that
01:01:06
died yeah I'm in a casket but for first all all five seasons yeah right and
01:01:11
eventually like my character gets so popular that I eventually go yeah just put a um a dummy in there you have a
01:01:19
double for your c yeah yeah because he doesn't move anyway I don't want to wake up like you know you know I love Star
01:01:24
Trek next Generation here what they do they cut to you and it's just your voiceover so you just have to record from home that's right so it's just it's
01:01:30
just speaking through your telepathy yeah that's genius that's genius and you do it like you know once a week yep you
01:01:38
wake up you just do you don't even give a [ __ ] scan through it yeah you scan through it you just cut you're in bed still you do it on your
01:01:45
iPhone right [ __ ] 50 Grand how great would that be I mean that's kind of like
01:01:50
what uh what's it what's his name uh uh uh Wheel of Fortune what's his name why can't I think of his name Pat s Jack you
01:01:56
know they record for like four months and then he just disappears so four months he works like every day and then for the rest of the year he literally
01:02:03
just goes and goes on vacation four months that's it you're like Boop done I'm done I have a question for you yeah because you know
01:02:10
who Eric Olsen is I don't I don't know he's on NCIS Los Angeles but he was also
01:02:15
you know he he played Jim Carrey and Dumb and Dumber yes I know who he is so he's a great guy him and Matt Damon
01:02:21
right Matt Damon was he the other guy Dumb and Dumber no not dumb and dum they were in stuck to you that was Matt
01:02:28
Damon's yeah but I don't think it's Eric Olen I don't really know you know what you're saying yeah I have no idea what I'm talking about yeah but Eric ol okay
01:02:36
[ __ ] fine why would you add that my brain isn't working what what well I was like er so Eric Olson I was doing NCIS
01:02:43
and you know he was saying that he was doing community he was on community guest starring oh yeah and he was doing
01:02:49
a scene with chiby Chase he he he pissed Chevy Chase off dude I've heard he gets so mad and chvy Chase grabbed him by the
01:02:54
neck and like tried to pull him off you know what I mean like up the wall yeah yeah if you if if an actor like Chevy
01:03:00
Chase hit you in the face or strangled you on set what would you do fight back as hard as I i' beat the [ __ ] out of
01:03:06
Chevy Chase I on set I'd kill him I would actually no you wouldn't if he put his hands on me I'd hurt him immediately I wouldn't even think TW I wouldn't even
01:03:12
think twice I don't give but the director everyone's laying around sitting care really if he put his hands
01:03:18
on me I i' punch him in the [ __ ] head okay what if it was I put Chevy Chase in a coma what if it was a um let's say
01:03:25
you're doing a movie okay the biggest movie of your life you're doing a movie with the Batman I'm the new Robert patson got Co and they wanted me and I'm
01:03:31
the Batman no you're more like the robin fine the you're the Robin I get it I take okay right right the robin right
01:03:37
and they get um scors to direct it okay okay and
01:03:43
you're you know who's the Nemesis Bane they get Tom Hardy to redo his in Bane
01:03:50
kind to be hard to not want to make out with him when I see him in scenes right so you're doing a scene yeah and it's a scene where Bane is grabbing Robin by
01:03:58
the neck mhm and pulling up right so he's doing it yeah right you're in The
01:04:03
Scene scors goes cut but you're still up there yeah and he squeezes harder and
01:04:10
harder and harder cuz he's so into the character right you can't breathe at this point yeah I'm dying you're dying
01:04:16
almost turning BL you're like stop stop man seem's over right like stop I I don't know how he sounds you know
01:04:23
and then um he goes I've got to complete this yeah so what what would you do
01:04:28
honestly I think Tom Hardy's very attractive so I'd probably let him kill me no really but what would you yeah what I would take it you suck his
01:04:36
dick myself upside down Su 69 each other you suck no what would I do if Tom would you suck Tom yeah no no
01:04:43
no no no no would you suck no no what would I do if you choke me up against
01:04:49
the hon honestly yeah you would for me yeah
01:04:54
no absolutely yeah no way no but if I was at a party
01:05:00
though yeah no I'm being real if I was using if I was using let's okay let's I
01:05:06
was sober I'm still smoking weed I'm drunk right and I'm at a party and I see
01:05:11
[ __ ] there keo's there charl theon's there everyone's there they're all doing coke they're all doing everyone's doing
01:05:17
it right what's up Bob right everyone doing it and Tomas what's up hello M I'm like what's up man I love big fan you
01:05:24
know come over here SM do some cocaine or hey Bobby you want to come over do cocaine yeah so I do cocaine with him
01:05:29
he's sober too but let's see he relapsed and then he's just like um all right here's a straw and I as I grab the straw
01:05:36
right as I grab the straw I realized it's his penis right it's just BNS right and I'm
01:05:44
and and at this point what do I do I go a your normal guy would go amen that's a good trick that's your dick man come on
01:05:51
yeah not me I would probably you know it's add information m mhm right it's
01:05:56
always a yes hand it's a yes hand right I can't deny it right so I would
01:06:01
go and I would suck it I would suck it so hard and he's like
01:06:07
dude it was just a joke right me too me too yeah yeah just kidding
01:06:13
around you know how funny it would be you know if if if if Tom Hardy put his penis there and I would just nuzzle it
01:06:19
with my nose oh oh you would esimo kiss it I would esimo kiss it yeah yeah yeah
01:06:24
and then flick his nut yeah he's no if Tom Hardy if someone was in a scene doing that cuz I've seen that kind of
01:06:29
stuff I thought this is really weird you say that cuz I literally thought of that uh before we came today because I was
01:06:35
watching some of these scenes while I was getting some of these scripts and uh uh there's a scene where um fle is
01:06:43
Einhorn Einhorn is finle from Ace Ventura where he proves that she's a man oh yeah yeah and and he goes would a man
01:06:50
have these and he exposes her breasts and he goes but what about this he also pulls on her hair
01:06:56
so [ __ ] hard he's like it's a wig dude when you see it I have to bring it up when you see how hard he pulls like
01:07:02
you're talking about because you know sometimes when you're acting with somebody oh yeah like I've gotten I've had to do like fight scenes and stuff
01:07:07
like that yeah you it's it sucks I did that to Daniel gther what did you do so we were doing a war you the movie the
01:07:13
movie Warriors yeah we were doing a warrior scene I'm I'm listening I'm just going to bring this up and I had a scene
01:07:21
where I was playing a character that D called The Blind Kung Fu Master yeah I do a character called The Blind Kung Fu
01:07:27
Master yeah and you mean I'm like and this is you're not your real hair right
01:07:33
and I grab her head right and I think it's U her re real hair it's not a wig
01:07:39
it's it is a wig You' got her real hair underneath I think it's her real hair but I grab it I realized oh it's her a
01:07:46
wig I'm I think it'd be funny if I just pull it off oh no right in front of an
01:07:51
audience right but the wig is attached to um your real bob hair Bobby Bob hair
01:07:57
bob she put a b a bunch of bobby pins that's how they attach W right yeah and I say I pull it clumps of her hair come
01:08:04
out and I could see a bald spot with blood and she's like what the [ __ ] are you doing man you know I mean and she's
01:08:10
like freaking the [ __ ] out yeah and I was like oh my God it hurts so much oh my God I did that for real life I've had
01:08:17
people pull on it I've had people pull on a wig when I'm I'm dying up here I had people pull it they sew it into your
01:08:22
hair and they glue it to your face it it hurts so much it so look at this scene
01:08:29
that's funny look at this scene you can't tell me that this isn't uh that this didn't hurt there's
01:08:36
no way that this didn't hurt cuz it looks too real oh here hold on hold on hold on hold on let's just see who's
01:08:42
lying shall we would a real woman have to wear one of these
01:08:53
ah boy that's really on there there's no way that didn't hurt her head especially
01:08:59
when he puts his other hand on it that that that yeah yeah that but you know
01:09:05
what you know what she could have bro she could have like they could have rehearsed that that looks pretty good
01:09:10
yeah she could have got I'm just going to go back but don't really pull it uh you this is either good camera work or
01:09:17
great acting cuz have to wear one of these oh that's that's pretty hard yeah
01:09:23
looks yeah I don't know that looks like by the way tone L one of the greatest underrated actors one of
01:09:30
the greatest not only actors but musicians and also personalities yeah I forgot he was in this until I re skinny
01:09:36
is I mean he was a tiny guy when he did this and and Courtney Cox super young I forgot how many people were in this movie dude that movie this movie Ace
01:09:43
ventur was changed changed me my life when I went to I remember going to the theater watching it to it changed me
01:09:49
this is why you know he's undeniably why I became a comedian yeah and then you became friends with him uh he was my
01:09:56
boss I wouldn't say friends i' say he was my boss he was a great boss but honestly him him him this whole movie
01:10:03
talking out of your butthole I mean I remember laughing so hard it hurt my
01:10:08
body hurt but I think Dumb and Dumber steal the deal for me no it's the better of the movies yes it's the best so funny
01:10:14
because it's joke joke per minute is just like so many jokes yeah but this had a lot you know the scene in the the
01:10:20
scene in the um the scene uh where he's like put me in coach you know where he's got the he's check trying to check into
01:10:26
the crazy house I mean that was phenomenal the guano scene with the bat [ __ ] I want to ask you this everyone
01:10:31
loves a slinky I mean I've always wanted to ask you this yeah what's your top five movies I know
01:10:38
I know I hate top 10 list you know they do it on the internet but I don't know that about you comedy because when you
01:10:44
said um that um what album did you say you liked Okay computer okay computer it
01:10:50
freaked me that that freaked me out why cuz you just didn't think I because I think that you're more of a creedy kind of oh shut up now you're you're baby no
01:10:57
no I'm being no I'm not being I just think that you like corn or Creed that type of guy first of all those two things have nothing to do corn and Creed
01:11:03
are not either one you know what I mean no I'm being real I you know how much I first of all you know how much I
01:11:09
love hip hop that's crazy to me I loved it I like it's crazy I us I used to rap
01:11:15
when I was that's crazy top five movies uh of across the board that you would
01:11:21
you okay you looked at me right I'm a guy comedy anything no anything I'm a guy yeah I'm an alien yeah right hello hi I
01:11:29
would like you I I've heard this stepen Hawking or are you an alien I'm Stephen
01:11:35
haing what is your favorite movie so what um you know I don't know what film
01:11:40
is could tell me I don't have a lot of time okay I have you know only three days here and I want to watch five
01:11:46
movies give me the five movies that would best represent cinema cinema or just movies in general God uh Casino
01:11:55
The Princess Bride oh great big wow
01:12:03
um I'm doing another Tom Hanks oh my God there's like three everything he's ever done I think Catch Me If You Can is one
01:12:08
of the greatest movies of all time great story but it's based on something real yeah um and I got to give you some
01:12:15
history I can't if I'm GNA you got have to do something like know Tom WS saing
01:12:20
yeah I was going to go I would go with uh um
01:12:28
uh uh platoon wait I said big I said big you want me to give you films no no no
01:12:34
no no I said big Schindler's List maybe that's the one Shindler he's in that right he's Schindler no Tom Han is not
01:12:39
Shindler no no he's not Shindler uh no Forest scump I mean dude he's made how many no but but getting away from that
01:12:45
seriously seriously let me do it Casino Princess Bride M Big M um
01:12:58
uh bronx's tale wow and there's so many movies it's hard to
01:13:03
like recategorize and then probably and I would say Star Wars and that's not because I'm a big Star Wars
01:13:09
fan that's because what it did to movies it's cultural it changed the world cultural phenomenon it changed it still
01:13:15
does yeah you're like a you are a Creed corn guy why he's a St I listed great
01:13:21
films you're a creating corn guy and I'm trying to be kind to you I love you they're very interesting choices I don't
01:13:27
like any of those bands I don't like either of those bands they're interesting choices and you can't compare music to movies you're right
01:13:33
okay here we go I just came down from space b what are your five favorite films that would depict Cinema I don't
01:13:39
have a lot of time here on Earth Debbie Does Dallas Debbie Does Dallas yeah yeah okay what else um probably something off
01:13:45
of PornHub uh um do my top five I don't have much time all right so um I would
01:13:51
have to go I would probably do a western so I would probably do Blazing Saddles
01:13:57
no Sergio Leon's The Good the Bad and the Ugly great movie it's a great movie yeah it's a great movie it just shows
01:14:03
you you know that era I don't have much time okay number two I would have to do go a cissal film for sure okay don't
01:14:10
roll your eyes that's so [ __ ] dumb that you just did that recomend me a an alien he's an alien that he wants to
01:14:16
know about the world you're going to suggest infinite Jess to me next as a book wa dude I'll rip your [ __ ]
01:14:21
you're basic you're basic what corn album do you like I don't know corn I don't know corn all right go
01:14:28
ahead go ahead a c can I do my [ __ ] thing right yeah yes I will probably do um I'll probably do
01:14:35
Ron Ron yeah it's a cile film funches yeah no Ron it's called Ron R and it's
01:14:42
um it's it's it's a colored movie so I think don't have much time okay number three I would go
01:14:48
um I would have to do it's hard see Apocalypse Now okay it's a war movie I haven't done
01:14:56
a war movie yet it's a war movie I did need one in there yeah it's also it's got some fantasy in it too a little bit
01:15:02
mhm you know it's just yeah I like it okay that's four yeah that's three oh
01:15:08
what yeah yeah kurasawa kurasawa good the ugly and also um Apocalypse Now
01:15:15
Apocalypse Now Okay number four would have to be um our spaceship is warming up
01:15:25
you know I would do something a ComEd comedy you know I would you know you have to have a comedy in there yeah I would probably do this is gonna be sound
01:15:31
so stupid you're gonna hate this yeah but it's it's a little Arty I just really think it's funny and cute but um
01:15:39
I would do um the Royal Tenon bombs okay the Royal Tenon bombs I like
01:15:45
that's not a traditional comedy to but it's good it's good you would pick big
01:15:51
uh big is unequivocally one of the one of the most fantasy SL reality well-written uh it doesn't make any
01:15:58
sense big a a a a fortune teller machine turned him into a [ __ ] kid or an
01:16:04
adult what the [ __ ] is this perhaps it was a metaphor do you think that
01:16:10
deeply anyway can I do my fifth yeah please you [ __ ] [ __ ] big is a phenomenal movie front to back upside
01:16:15
down some of the great some of the most comedically hilarious scenes Tom Hanks has ever done give me the ball Baskin he gets into a fist fight over a handball
01:16:22
so funny it's that movie is so good the piano scene in FAO Schwarz like one of the most iconic scenes in film history
01:16:29
oh that's an iconic scene film Andre who went to film school is the FAO Schwarz
01:16:34
scene from big one of the most iconic scenes in film history um it's a wellknown scene yeah there not iconic it
01:16:40
is Iconic okay Andreas based on what come in Andreas based on [ __ ] based
01:16:47
on the movies we just suggested Andreas right what would they teach in film school oh that's that's not what we're
01:16:52
going for you just said what are my five you brought up film school he knows movies did film school so he knows right
01:16:59
I'm just want to I just want to I'm curious I'm curious go ahead Andreas they're pretentious [ __ ] in film
01:17:05
school first of all I know I'm pretentious they are aren't they Andreas they are yeah it's Andreas though in
01:17:10
terms of film school let him answer he was just gonna say something kurawa might be in there yeah yeah it would
01:17:16
would honestly Andreas listen to me right now okay of course Penny Marshall films aren't going to be in film school would big be in film school would they
01:17:24
even say the movie probably not okay no thank you but you didn't say you didn't
01:17:29
say what movies can I do my fif would be in film school I'm giving an alien what I think is dope yeah the fifth one's
01:17:36
going to drive you crazy yeah I know yeah Royal Tenon bombs by the way you're a comedian and you think that's that's
01:17:42
the comedy you'd give them yeah because it's okay I would probably do Paris
01:17:48
Texas as my fifth would they teach that in film
01:17:53
school probably yeah yeah yeah pretentious po good movies good movies
01:17:58
anyway corn uh what else do you want to it's so funny that you pretend like you like high-end stuff but you're the most
01:18:04
low-end boogered person on Earth I really am and also you yelled at me you just yelled at me way louder than I ever yell at you and and you said last week
01:18:11
take a poll over who yells first do you remember that oh yeah yeah yeah we did okay yeah we did Twitter responded let's
01:18:18
take a look at what this says Bob can you read that yeah Rudy why don't you tell me what this says just read that out loud the fans can see it but go
01:18:24
ahead and uh tell me what it says there uh rude T Bobby has 60 hold on hold on sorry there you go what does it say T
01:18:31
Bobby has 60.5% and Andrew has 39.5% wow the final results are in wow
01:18:37
that's bet 2200 votes it's betrayal no no it's fact you yell first it's betrayal from the audience how they just
01:18:44
know they recog they they don't know yeah know they do know you know it really is sad it really is I think you've skewed this [ __ ] this yeah I
01:18:51
think the fans now I can see it I you know cracked open not blind I'm not blind and I'm not dumb and I I go on the
01:18:59
internet and I read things I read things one of two well then because of is that an eye joke because of my SL eyes no
01:19:06
it's a dumb joke you're dumb but um I think that you skewed the audience into your favor and that's fine and it was
01:19:12
and it was a little bit of a slny eye joke I'm not I can't yeah I know it was no it was not so I do raise my voice first you always do you do and and and
01:19:20
you put it on me as if I do and Andre is laughing I do a lot of things like that
01:19:25
I do revers you know reverse psychology I do a lot of that you're extremely manipulative I'm very manipulative and
01:19:31
you're good yeah I'm I'm cra here's like you know what you can do you were late today again uh and and that's okay and I
01:19:38
don't mind it because I prep for it I know it's coming but if I'm late once M who throws a
01:19:44
fit yeah I know me yeah you're right you're right bad bad bad bad bad yeah I'm a bad guy no no no no I mean I do
01:19:50
things but that recognize that if we had a tally Board of who plate I'd have one
01:19:57
tally and you'd be a tally my neck hurts so bad right now why what happened it's stressing me out oh I'm sorry don't no
01:20:03
no stress no stress no it's fine no I'll have a stroke in front of you it'll be great I'll do a full-blown stroke in front of you it's fine I think in fact
01:20:09
that would be um if I was going to have a stroke I would have one in front of you is that how you want to die a stroke
01:20:14
no but I just think that because it's just part of my family history but um who had a stroke in your family my dad
01:20:20
but Di no he didn't he didn't die cancer no stroke but with the stroke was from
01:20:27
something didn't he have anything wrong inside of him yeah he couldn't walk because of the stroke but I thought he was
01:20:34
deteriorating because of something inside he didn't have any dises please please no I'm not joking whatever you're doing right now dude is really hurtful
01:20:40
I'm saying I didn't why don't you listen then did he have something else no he had a stroke so the stroke is the only thing that killed him he was there
01:20:47
there's complications after a but he didn't have anything else otherwise no pre-existing conditions of Health like
01:20:52
AIDS he had AIDS okay that that's what I'm talking about no my dad died from a stroke he
01:20:59
died from the comp because of the complications of a stroke because he lived through the stroke yeah my my all
01:21:05
my my grandparents were all paralyzed from the neck down from [ __ ] Strokes wow I had a I had
01:21:13
my I'm G to tell you a [ __ ] up story I'm ready did I ever tell you about the
01:21:19
the when my dad discovered marks on my grandmother's body no no I don't think
01:21:25
so so my grandmother um I'm [ __ ] sweating right now wait
01:21:33
what so my grandmother lived in Korea and she was paralyzed from the neck down from a stroke for like 25 years oh my
01:21:39
God and they never left she never left the living room of this like imagine this old korean house with paper walls
01:21:46
we're in it okay thank you and um she would just sit there on this like kind of colorful pad up against a you know a
01:21:54
wall uhhuh and she just sit there cuz she couldn't move so she would sit on the floor and lean against the wall yeah
01:21:59
but she would always be smiling you know what I mean and um one day my
01:22:05
dad discovers welts all over her body oh no right he goes he why you Grandma have
01:22:12
we you mean we don't know do why she you beating H with her
01:22:19
why is she bleeding oh he thinks you're you're beating and we're like What yeah we don't what the [ __ ] you're right yeah
01:22:27
so like two days later he walks in the room and my brother and I have sticks
01:22:32
sticks what you're hitting her why because you couldn't feel it Bob
01:22:41
and she would just sit there and smile right so with with sticks yeah you are awful I know we're awful I have so many
01:22:48
stories like that are so [ __ ] weird never on the face it shows on the face you're right how can she go to work she
01:22:54
have to playing it right yeah yeah you can't do it on the face that's insane it's insane youd hit
01:23:00
your grandma Yeah but and we I remember getting in so much trouble yeah that makes a lot of sense for hitting your
01:23:06
why you lying I CGH I caught you he saw you guys doing it oh yeah you convinced
01:23:11
Steve poor Steve probably didn't want to do it he Steve used to go to we'd go to a McDonald's and even as a three
01:23:18
four-year-old 5-year-old as soon as he could speak right he would literally walk up to a fat person and go y you're
01:23:25
bad and just walk away like he had one of those like he's one of those kids that like just didn't
01:23:31
have no filter yeah you you know you walk funny and then just walk away like
01:23:37
he was a [ __ ] [ __ ] and then we had to teach him not kids do that kids say things they don't know any better and
01:23:43
they just say what they're feeling right away right there's no filter yeah he he's my brother's been doing that all
01:23:48
his life though and then we had to teach him not to do it well yeah just to be completely like I told I told this I
01:23:53
used to tell a joke about this a kid when I we were playing basketball I had really I had like horrifically bad acne
01:23:58
and we were playing basketball and it's even worse when I'm like in season I was sweating and a little black kid in at
01:24:03
West Aurora at this high school he came up to me in the hallway when I was having to drink of water and he was like
01:24:10
man you pretty good for a white boy I was like oh thanks and I thought he was like a sweet little kid like a little
01:24:15
tiny kid I don't even know how old he had have been maybe six seven I have no idea yeah and as he's walking away he goes hey white boy and I turn and he's
01:24:23
smiling already he goes what's all over your face yeah it I mean it like broke my
01:24:31
soul what was it pimples
01:24:38
Bob oh really yeah I had such bad acne he was what's all over your
01:24:43
face what did you say I said this is part of the joke yeah yeah I said this
01:24:49
is what happens when your dad sticks around
01:24:55
no he no but it it really hurt my feelings when I was a kid it hurt my feelings so much this little confident
01:25:00
little tiny kid and I'm a teenager in high school yeah what's all over your face it hurt unbeliev like oh God it h
01:25:08
my soul acne I was acne ridden myself you had it bad did you ever go on the
01:25:13
stuff no Accutane I did it I took it even in my early 20s I remember like my friends took it four times really and
01:25:20
that stuff like killed people really act accan oh my God yeah people committed suicide on it and they would they got sued it was crazy yeah I would just go
01:25:27
go to work at like I worked at this coffee shop called the panickin in La Hoya uhhuh and I would just have [ __ ]
01:25:33
zits and boils all over my face yeah cuz I had no [ __ ] money dude I I I was so
01:25:39
stressed out well and had no soap I had no money I had nothing and it's and and
01:25:44
and you can't take care of it yeah I Accutane I I didn't have I I've never seen a doctor at that time I didn't have
01:25:50
a dent that's why all my teeth are gone because I was so poor for so long what do you mean all your teeth are still in your mouth no they're not smile no I
01:25:56
can't smile for me you know about my teeth yeah but you your teeth are fine the teeth that you're seeing now I know
01:26:03
that yeah yeah are the only ones that are there yeah that's the remnants that's the have you seen back here the
01:26:09
back I've never seen I'll show you yeah let me see but don't get too close oh wow they're all gone yeah they
01:26:16
had left town bye bye bye yeah yeah I mean I've got this is you you can't see but my
01:26:22
teeth were so bad all I've got from from here from the canines all the way back uh what do you call them like crowns and
01:26:29
they're all yeah it's all fake nothing back here is real in fact one time my dentist said to me uh he goes look dude
01:26:35
this is getting bad like he's I have to keep fixing stuff because you just have bad teeth and I was like well I don't
01:26:40
even eat sugar I'm not like a dessert I don't do any of that he goes nothing to do with that that's a lie it's a rumor it's hereditary he's like you either
01:26:46
have bad teeth or you don't some people have better some people never get cavities yeah he goes just get veneers and I said I don't know what I don't
01:26:52
know what that is I don't know anything about him he showed me pictures of veneers like if they're done right they're good yeah but I scary because if
01:26:58
you get the bad ones if you get the bad ones you look like Matt Dylan from uh uh
01:27:04
uh from what is it called uh what's the Cameron Diaz movie uh something about
01:27:09
Mary yeah I mean if you get bad veneers you end up having these teeth the Matt Dylan and this is all this I always
01:27:16
think of this whenever like I always think about this movie whenever I think about veneers yeah I love that movie so
01:27:23
good I love that movie you know the [ __ ] was real in her hair Ben Stiller was like I no he didn't want to do it unless
01:27:29
it was real that's not true yes it is he's a method guy he goes I don't I won't do can I tell you what I did to him
01:27:36
what so he liked this open micer yeah like had a crush on her at The Comedy
01:27:41
Store yeah but I would I can't say her name but um no should so he would come
01:27:47
just to see her wow and then he kind of knew that I was like a regular or whatever uhhuh and then so I don't know
01:27:53
why I did did this but one day you know what I mean I wanted to wrestle him you wanted to wrestle mat why I don't
01:28:01
understand you were just in one of your moods yeah you know how I do it yeah so I kind of kind of got he's like get off of me man he just kind of laughing yeah
01:28:08
but then like he started walking and I clung onto his legs you got on the ground no he was like I was on his legs
01:28:15
like this and he's trying to walk right he go get off me and then he snapped oh
01:28:21
yeah he go get get off me and I never saw him again he never I never saw him there
01:28:28
again you know I mean there's always those like little weird things he decided in your your mind like why did I do that yeah why would you do that why
01:28:34
did I make that choice it's a really bad idea yeah it was a bad idea it's a bold leap but you have to try right mhm we
01:28:41
all have to try we all take shots yeah see you're not you you're not old enough to you're you're about to experience
01:28:47
these things in your 20s H you're about to experience nightmar social situations
01:28:52
yeah get ready where you go where go why did I do that you know what I mean forget combination the way you said that
01:28:59
right I mean it's going to get it's going to get way worse way worse when you start going to bars and meeting guys
01:29:04
and you start going out into the workforce you know people are going to be so awkward to you too especially now
01:29:09
that you're a superstar on the internet um I want to show you a little gift that was given to me some information that I
01:29:14
think you'll really enjoy honestly this is really positive stuff um so let's take a look at this little news report
01:29:20
that just came out moving on to a different story now the average headsight of Koreans has been supposedly
01:29:26
growing and growing over the past four decades a group of researchers from a renowned local University claims to have
01:29:32
evidence to prove this phenomenon is real Kim dami sheds light on how and why this might be happening it's getting
01:29:40
bigger thanks to a better quality of life and proper nutrition Koreans are getting taller and bigger and so is
01:29:47
their head size researchers at Korea University College of Medicine ran
01:29:52
magnetic resonance Imaging scans on 115 Koreans born in the 1930s and
01:29:59
1970s and reconstructed their craniums into threedimensional
01:30:04
images so you guys are so Advanced you've sped up to four decades what took
01:30:11
us two centuries you're six% that's incredible in two in four decades are
01:30:17
you doing this honestly what no listen
01:30:22
in four decades doing are you calling me a are you calling me a [ __ ] no I'm just saying this is how Advance this is
01:30:28
not a slam or you're trying to POS it's positive Koreans obviously are more
01:30:33
advanced than us their heads are growing at an at a beautiful rate the bigger the head the better so your head they said
01:30:39
in the rest of this I don't want I can't play the whole clip it's not that entertaining but they said your head right now as a Korean man will grow
01:30:46
before your death two to three times the size of an average Western American I just wish that like there are other
01:30:51
things that grew as well like your nose are your ears dick you're you had that shot and it
01:30:58
stopped no what I'm saying is is that why does it have to be the head oh why does that have why does your why can't
01:31:04
everything grow um proportionately to everything else well it sometimes does for some people yeah but in this
01:31:09
situation it seems like the head is growing get out of control it's the only thing that's growing getting out of control well cuz look I mean what we're
01:31:16
bigheaded people you're a little and you are and but why is that even a slam why would that's not even a negative thing a
01:31:21
slam I just wanted to show you this AR but if you were like you know at a bar and you walked up to you bigheaded lug
01:31:26
that would like people be like what you call me it just makes me laugh to think if one day you do have kids and 40 years
01:31:32
from now if they get another 6% increase how big your your child's head would be
01:31:38
I mean it would be very very very large you already have a large Dome can you
01:31:44
wait what you're saying to me now is what that if you saw me we didn't know
01:31:49
each other yeah and we were at let's say um Wings some sort of wings Place uh
01:31:54
Buffalo Wild Wings right right I'm at a table I'm having a beer watching and you know come
01:32:01
on let's go let's go tackle them hey man keep it down Jesus Christ your head is Big that's what you would was that is
01:32:08
that what you would think no honestly is no I'd go hey man what's up and I I turn to my friend I go
01:32:14
look at this bigheaded Korean [ __ ] trying to talk I know but no but honestly is that going to be something that that you would think about sitting
01:32:20
down your head doesn't look big but standing up it does all right so so what you're saying is that I'm like a [ __ ]
01:32:26
wobbly headed gu I'm a bobble-headed guy and have a very big head you don't have a very big head but it's big it's big
01:32:33
it's big proportion to your body Jules is Tiny she has a small cuz she's a tiny girl yeah yeah tiny body you're I mean
01:32:40
is Tito's head big yeah yeah okay okay okay you going be mad at her now
01:32:47
I'm a little mad all right you don't think about it yet okay oh man you should I mean thank you for playing but
01:32:52
also you're in trouble thank you for playing but you're also in trouble so um I you know I'm so glad that we did this
01:32:59
Voyage together oh this is you were done with the voyage yeah this is the end but um but don't you think you need to carry
01:33:05
the voyage over no no I I think I realize that you know cuz you know I we talked about this guy yes on Instagram
01:33:12
and I realize that I don't give a [ __ ] now I'm just going to be myself that's what I like yeah because you know I
01:33:17
don't give a [ __ ] well you have to be you it doesn't even matter we have to be us it's going to be me and I'm just
01:33:23
going to do it look at me yeah I love you I hate you hate you that's I'm
01:33:28
trying to be myself honestly yeah thank you for being a bad friend [Music]
01:33:54
do
