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hey everybody Bob Lee here I normally don't promote dates but I'm going to be at the Brea Improv May 3rd and May 4th come check it out hey it's Andrew Santino I definitely promote dates I'm
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gonna be in Tampa April 26 27th then I'm going to Phoenix May third and fourth when he's in Brea then I'm in Nashville
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May 10th and 12th uh in Dallas Texas May 31st then I go to San Francisco we added
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shows in Dallas and San Francisco go to Andrew santo. for tickets Andrew Santino
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two idiots a white dude and an Asian dude you two are disgusting you two are something we're bad friends put the lotion in the basket
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Jess's girl no no no I wish I had Jess's girl Jess's girl why can't I find a co-host like
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that Jess's back Jess's back ladies and gentlemen Jesse's back ladies and gentlemen Jess back thank you for having
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I want like this the whole time oh good that'll be good for us it's a new character I'm working on guys you got you'll see the variety of characters
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that come up with this year because you've been having a lot of sex what about this guy I can do that too I'm not
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having any sex I thought you were no that's crazy that's crazy talk he's having a lot of sex no I'm born again
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Christian then what's this oh wow what's that what's that bra wow the fake Paparazzi who's that girl I don't know who that I don't know who that person is who's that I have no idea
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who that is watch what she does here though we got Bobby Lee getting into his dented I go so this is what happened we go around the car she's so nervous then
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I go what are you doing on this side go around she was you thought you were your Uber she she was like what is going on
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here because they're flashing and then she was like I could go around you should have opened the door for her I I
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don't do that anymore uh should have why what do you mean any cuz I'm J girl yeah anyway so wait a minute what's
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a Hollywood curtain where where where where where was this what restaurant oh I I'll show you what it's called I
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forgot it's an Italian restaurant called God you're so famous I'm not famous shut the I love you Georgio Baldi yeah
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Georgio Baldi oh nice have you been there no no I'm not I'm not fancy like you did shut up you're more fancy than
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me you're the one that knows all the restaurants in every city that we go to you're the one that like knows all the you have to do the playlists whenever
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we're in a restaurant I got the playlist because you know all the music you know everything so don't tell me that you
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don't know I wish I had Jess Jess Girl Bobby Lee steps out with an unknown female in a rainy night in La doesn't bother opening the door for her to his dented Audi
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A5 Bobby Bobby Bobby get we Bobby Bobby is that your ented Audi shut up that's awesome dude I've that's so cool to get paparazzi like that so here's I want to start off the show by
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saying I want to apologize to the people the women that have been in Miss America
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pageants and then they you know they get asked that question when they're in their bathing suit or whatever and what I realize is this those pageant
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questions are difficult well that's no one can so I want to do a thing to see if we can answer if we were a Miss
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America good here the here are the categories no what what do you mean there's there's categories yeah and yeah
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no but you know how they so give me so I'm Miss Korea you wish yeah yeah you're Miss North Korea I can be North Korea you sure could all right you know so I'm
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I'm up there in my bathing suit and who who's the guy who's the Mexican dude that does it Mexican dude yeah who's the
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guy that that Hol Mario Lopez oh is that his name yes Mario Mario doesn't he sometimes ask it let's go back to when Trump used to do it though all right all right how did you prepare for this
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pageant how did you prepare Miss North Korea some say best saided atits no not that question give me another question like more of a a worldly question here we go what pageant Queen did you look up
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to so miss give me the questions Zoom yeah Miss yeah all right here we go all right Miss North Korea what makes you unique oh what made me unique is that
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hold on hold on stop stop for a second you're already done that's insane l no I want to do I
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want to say very difficult it's very but I here's I want to be as I don't I don't want to go for comedy I want to really
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see if I can answer it as a as it Miss You miss something you don't want to go for comedy no I want to see if I I want to just see if I can be like if I know if you don't want to go for comedy take this bit to that tiger belly show that
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you do go ahead now all right I miss go ahead Jesus okay okay that one's good that that one's good that one I like all
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right Miss North Korea if I gave you $1,000 what would you do with it oh for me what I would do is I would um save some for
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future I would save buy my parents a meal I would probably invest for my family but then also give give to the community and give them you know food
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very good that good not really okay all right let me ask you now go ahead um who
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are you Miss Ireland sure you hate this bit no I love it all right I am a all no I really like it but I yo I'm Mario Lopez
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that's I don't know how to do it pres no that sounds like him yeah what's up what's up Mario Lopez here what's up oh
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so Miss Ireland are you doing George Lopez or Mario Lopez which one are you doing I'm doing
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a combination okay all the Lopez all right I'm Miss Ireland all right go on go on then for the judges yo so um Miss
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Ireland hi if I if I have an imaginary box in front of me what's inside of it well it's up to your imagination is I mean if you had an imaginary box in
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front of you yeah yeah what would I hope is inside of it yes World Peace wow that's so good hoping you would open
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the box and World Peace would break out that's so good all over the world stop the wars give back the
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hostages okay what what thought you what you you miss Phoenix thought you were gonna say a pot of gold oh I'll be Miss
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Phoenix yeah Miss Phoenix all right um I like how you guys were countries but I'll just be Phoenix is kind of its
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own country yeah that's true all right Miss Phoenix put the mic up closer uh it puss your it keeps falling down we'll tighten it up who sitting in this chair
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by the way it's really stretched out go the goop Miss Arizona hi yo Mario Lopez here
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what's up what's up and we got Trump here too man hello Miss Arizona one of my favorite places to golf and get
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hookers yeah if I uh let me ask you a question if I looked at your social media what would I notice first hi um I I think my social media you would see me
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helping a lot of children um getting off the heat they're boiling out there on the sidewalks just boiling children and
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I go out there and I um scoop them up and I have a really air conditioned basement that I wait can I start over it's weird I shouldn't have told
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you about the basement I give a lot back to the homeless when I look at your social media Miss Arizon I look for your
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titpics that's all I want there's a lot of those when your boobies are out okay here you go okay Miss North Korea yes hi this one's so good hello hello do you
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support Medicare for all see this is where it gets hard yeah this is the these are the questions
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that [ __ ] you up oh totally do I support you you repeat the question always to
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kill time that's smart do I support what is it again um Miss North Korea do you support Medicare for all well in North Korea we don't have a Medicare we don't even ever have a
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care we we got what we call nothing you know so I support Medicare if it you care for people Medicare less yeah Medicare less that's what we have there in North Korea but if in United States I
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believe that everyone have right to do to get health care I think it's a human right okay Miss Arizona recently president Trump has said the United States has an immigration crisis at the southern border do you agree why or why
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not yeah well especially since he's here uh I really agree all right answer cly [ __ ] yeah I'm a big I really was disappointed when Arizona turn blue I if
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you elect me as your um uh woman president I will what yeah magga she's a mega girl but she's not running for president no Miss America's woman president it's oh that's president for
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women yeah okay oh this one's really no I want to ask you now oh I see the one I
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want next okay Miss Ireland can be somewh another Italy go be Italy now okay yeah Miss Italy yes um Lally many Americans
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believe we should focus on fixing the Earth before traveling into space how do you feel about NASA's missions to the
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moon and Mars [Laughter] well to be honest I don't give a [ __ ] about moon and Mars to me yeah it's all about on the
00:09:49
you know just to be in Capri and be on the island and oh smoke and drink yeah yeah yes in Italy we don't care about any of this [ __ ] wow we want to [ __ ] and eat
00:10:01
thank thank you Mr Italy I used to [ __ ] a guy named Mars oh Bruno yeah Bruno I yeah you [ __ ]
00:10:09
Bruno he come to perform I let him suck on my titties out on the out on the beach but for the most part I don't care
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they go to Earth don't come back [ __ ] off it's okay yeah you also [ __ ] Dana Moon yes they yeah the comedian only
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when she is in a character oh I see yeah all right Miss Miss North Korea finally why why why why do I uh okay sorry about that give me a different country yeah Miss Japan Miss Japan what does it mean to be
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a woman what does it mean to be a woman oh my God mean so much it mean to it give life being woman is about being nurture it's about warmth it's about um
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you know C you know car that's what it is that's a really good answer nurture warmth care yeah that's really sweet I'm trying to be you know I know there's no comedy there but
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I I I how often should a woman give head yeah yeah she's very nasty but I'm trying to give answers that's going to win me the competition that is good you would not win but you'd do good you'd Fair okay what what do you mean if I was
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a hot girl I would win with that answer no you wouldn't if I was a hot girl cuz what does it mean to be a woman so much right it means everything
00:11:28
it does mean it's everything yeah power power dude you how much power you guys have no not really I don't think I'm using all the B you don't you know what you know what
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you're like you're like Wolverine not using the claws yeah I agree yeah you got to use them yeah you don't ever use
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your power okay give me an example where I can use my women power I don't want to I me you know go ahead no I don't know I'm not using my fa
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potential well can I just I I'll tell you like true woman yeah okay so maybe I am doing it know you're doing it
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perfectly no I would just be like if I was a woman I'll just say how would I use my power okay okay yeah I would have
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an O fans right and I would just take my vaginal lips like a Batwing and just be
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flying like flying you know right yeah and I would get a bunch of followers right do four or five years yeah yeah anyone can come in FL FL open
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open for business open for business yeah and then retire I saw a girl do a video
00:12:36
about the house she bought with the only fans money it was like I don't know if Tik Tok or something and it was incredible she's like I'd like to thank
00:12:42
200,000 uh men all around the world for buying me this house and I was like that's [ __ ] amazing and it was huge
00:12:48
it was such a nice big house is that only fans a no no no uh luxury house tour 21-year-old only fans model is that it welcome to my house tour
00:13:01
oh yeah this is my house tour where I show you around my humble a this is a really long awaited video I've been at my house for 7 months finally got
00:13:15
everything how I wanted it I'm such perfectionist I literally wasn't going to you guys without making it perfect we
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are starting on the bottom floor I've got three floors inside the house cuz I'm not going to show you guys outside
00:13:27
my house for priv it's funny that we just talked about like the depths of being a woman and then we clicked on
00:13:32
this video this was the most powerful woman you're telling this the most powerful woman in the world she's
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running for president next year she she might win you know what I apologize to whom to Jesse why I I'm saying that
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you're not using your power you are using your power you're doing it in in the in the right way I think you were
00:13:50
joking right I was I don't think so oh no you're being serious yeah I was kidding yeah I was obviously killing
00:13:56
kidding but I'm just saying just Jokes Aside though I think that um you work so hard you take so many
00:14:04
risks and you walk through so much bravery and you do it with ethically and can I ask you something what what does walk through bravery mean I liked it but I don't know either when you walk with
00:14:16
walk through bravery what do you what is that well you have bravery right yeah I see it you know what it is yeah a vision
00:14:22
it hold on let me yeah I see it right there there it is all right you know what a cartoon brick wall is I mean I
00:14:29
kind of it's I'm guessing it it sounds like what it is yeah now think of a cartoon brick bravery
00:14:37
wall I got it right yeah I got it now imagine just going through it oh yeah break okay yeah it took me a
00:14:45
second but I guess yeah maybe I said that wrong no you didn't you're brave but you also walk through it wow is that
00:14:52
better much yeah yeah but I could be using my [ __ ] way more oh yeah no I'll be unstoppable now when you when you see a video like that what how do you feel
00:15:05
aroused the only fans video girl yeah yeah doing her house tour I feel like good for that [ __ ] chick for making money off people that wanted to pay to see her then she bought a house he D that's good the [ __ ] rat Iggy aelia
00:15:18
made $9.2 million on only fans on only fans and it's only and it's April wow wow holy [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah coko Austin that is uh that's uh I don't know
00:15:31
who that is actually Mia Khalifa the porn star Erica Mina tanu Gemma mccort Denise Richard Denise Richards the actress where the [ __ ] is that report
00:15:43
from does that say Tokyo news Tuco news same thing I love I get all my news from
00:15:48
Tuco news yeah by the way guys forget fox or CNBC Tuco news is going to have the plug igy aelia
00:15:57
made 9.2 million doll so far in 2024 that's that's insane [ __ ] Bonkers that's great no that's insane give us some how come we're not doing a bad friends only fans I know we how much do
00:16:11
you think we can make though not a lot yeah yeah I'll show my taint you do every night anyway that's free yeah it's
00:16:17
free I I give it away to for free yeah okay Denise Richard is not naked on her only fans there's no [ __ ] way is that
00:16:24
her yeah yeah subscribe oh my God you have yeah he has an account yeah yeah you know he does subscribe it's free for 30 days and then after that forget to cancel and you'll
00:16:35
be charged $35 a month big deal get over it yeah well do can you go Zoom down to
00:16:40
see if there's any like there we go so it's her getting her hair done her and gowns there's her
00:16:46
tushy okay good I'm saving it I'm saving it because I got a lot of heat right now
00:16:51
a lot thanks to you guys so if I get till like 70 and I don't have any more heat then I'll release them I I think
00:16:57
you should save this save it till marriage save your only fans still marriage once you get married then open up an only fans well then yeah my
00:17:03
husband can film it that's right yeah yeah you got to partner in crime then I went to the Loo Comedy Store last week
00:17:08
and I walked in and this girl that's working there her name is Char she's a middle eastern comedian she's from pawe
00:17:14
she lives in pawe yeah and she goes I'm the one that's do I have your only fan you're not your your the Bobby Lee Army
00:17:20
fan page and I run it oh that's cool that was so sweet oh it's nice to meet you she was so sweet what were you doing down in La Hoy you just did a Popin no Saturday morning I woke up I so I went
00:17:31
to the um love Valencia Hotel spent the night there went to the store and then spent the night there to give Dan a 40y
00:17:38
40-year cake I saw the photo at at his men's meeting 40y year sober anniversary cake oh shout out Dan awesome it was
00:17:45
great because it looked like a supermarket cake didn't miss that I'll tell you that
00:17:51
you're really going to [ __ ] piss me off today I'm not in the mood to [ __ ] play right now dude I mean what what is one H number
00:17:58
one do you you know how AO meetings work no okay so every week and Carlos can back me up right you look like a supermarket cake dude you're a [ __ ] piece of [ __ ]
00:18:09
[ __ ] piece of [ __ ] so this is how it works was it was it it was this this is how it
00:18:15
works man where was it was it Ralph's I don't know I didn't even look at the cake it was Van's yeah I this is how it
00:18:21
works John every year they they do like a you know they do a group census consensus not group a group meeting where they nominate people that do like chairs M it's always a newcomer and they
00:18:34
go who wants the cake commitment some newcomer Raisor says I'll do it so every week his job is to go to anywhere and
00:18:41
buy a cake and bring it to the meeting right I don't know where the [ __ ] it's from but that's not the point of the
00:18:46
birthday I see 40 Years of surri is a huge deal man that's what I thought it would be a better
00:18:54
cake dude what's wrong dude honestly wow I love it yeah they didn't say Silber for 40 years for the cake yeah yeah yeah but kind of you've been moing off dude
00:19:06
it's the baby I think it's keeping him up at that he's getting a little bitter and angry anyway so I went to this men's
00:19:12
meeting look at that [ __ ] you look like a highlighter by the way you look like a stupid [ __ ]
00:19:18
highlighter right he looks like a [ __ ] highlighter look at him he wants to be noticed so right colors yeah it's look at how loud that outfit it is it's like he fell out of a time portal from
00:19:31
86 it's insane it's just yeah you you do can I see something mcon and I'm being honest yep you don't look good it looks
00:19:42
ridiculous when you go outside it's like you you look like a [ __ ] nerd like no
00:19:48
but not the candy the colors of the colors of the candy not even a nerd you know I mean yeah you're not even cool enough to be a nerd nerd yeah yeah you're the Nerd candy
00:19:59
it's like these are colors that are so unnatural and they don't even look good I love you man you look I love you too
00:20:04
but is that what the kids are doing so rocket money y'all y'all Y y'all you got to save money and I've been bleeding money you know why you bleed money because I have so many sub subscriptions so many subscriptions that you forgot
00:20:18
about did you know nearly 75% of people have subscriptions they've forgotten about these two guys included before I
00:20:23
started using rocket money I thought I had I don't know I don't know like two or three subscriptions and by the way
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had like 10 had no idea uh I couldn't believe when they showed me I was paying for nonsense and Rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions monitors your spending and helps lower
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Morgan and Morgan oh my back ow my oh I'm I crushed you my back too yeah my back you guys if you're all right so in this situation you know what are you gonna do bud I don't know
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what do I do you go to Morgan and Morgan call Morgan and Morgan oh wow yeah Morgan Morgan is America's largest
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fair compensation well wow that's crazy because I I would imagine submitting an injury claim with Morgan and Morgan is
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yeah it's like you know using Fusion reactors in the sky to grab absorption from for oxygen is hard but submitting its injury claim with Morgan Morgan is easy if you're ever injured you can
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from your cell this is a paid advertisement this was actually like a 20 minute explanation I wanted to
00:22:47
buy this when I was in like middle school but like like old Tyler the Creator [ __ ] but I couldn't afford that
00:22:53
back when I was like in middle school and high school so now I was just like you know what you know it's very L but
00:22:59
you know live that out it's your come over here I want to see your whole outfit God you're such a Wier what a
00:23:07
wiener yeah yeah okay that's loud yeah yeah your outfit is screaming right now I gave you that jacket also but it Blends in exactly with the show look at where we are you did great thing I blended more with the show than you do
00:23:20
who defensive careful go sit back in the booth before you get assaulted so he's just I've been gone for three months so he just disrespects you like that 100% he does it all the time it's
00:23:32
non-stop wow I can't believe how things have changed around you no no no you don't have Ida I literally just got so
00:23:39
angry like I haven't been that angry I'm not kidding you internalizing it usually
00:23:44
you I didn't know what to do I was like am I going to am I going to go to prison right now dude he literally crossed the
00:23:51
line he do it all the time his Tone If you stabbed him you wouldn't even see the blood on that outfit
00:23:57
wow wow you know what I am going to dictate my behavior based on your behavior me not you I know I was looking at you I'm sorry I what I did you're the
00:24:08
only bright spot in the room that's so I can only look at you Jess let's show off your tattoos that's what I really want
00:24:13
to see okay show off the tats it's new tats we haven't even talked about so I got this one Comedy Store The Comedy
00:24:20
Store one such a good it's actually so cool it's like fine needle right fine needle I love that and I got this uh Matt TV one it's me he got me on his arm
00:24:28
yeah and the next two three I'm going to get is I'm going to get a bad friends mhm yeah I'm going to get an Arsenal one dope yeah you going to get the cannon
00:24:38
yeah the cannon and then I'm going to get a tiger belly H I'm kidding yeah yeah and I think
00:24:45
that's it well let me say this do you know the name of the Mad TV character I'd be interested to know who knows in this room without looking it up raise your hand hold on no no don't say it out loud don't say it out loud do you know I
00:24:58
thought I did but now I can't think it's a it's three three three well it's it's
00:25:03
a two words in a aen yeah do you know what mcon you do Alfred E Newman Alfred E Newman Al do you know the the histo history behind Alfred
00:25:16
Newman yeah I mean like I know like the Mad Magazine and he was originally like a one-off character and then quickly
00:25:22
into the mag like 10 or so years into the initial run of the magazine and became like the Forefront and they'd put him up for president every year until
00:25:28
the elections got too ridiculous do you know why the name alfredy Newman do you know why the name I don't even know do you guys know look it up I feel like you
00:25:36
don't know yeah you're like I don't know either just tell us don't don't look it up don't look it up you tell us maybe he
00:25:41
doesn't know hey hey no don't look it up you tell us you [ __ ] face I I don't like the games you play hey yeah I don't
00:25:49
know I knew it I knew it dude I knew it now now look it up yeah yeah dude I caught you dude the precise uh among the earliest images
00:26:02
advertisement for elmore's minced meat so it was based on someone look at those images they pulled from So Dope that one
00:26:09
on the right that's me that's you yeah that's you that's 100% me fancy [ __ ] you
00:26:15
wa 1908 what yeah 1908 uh an anti Mania tablet calendar wow so the character goes that back that far huh well it's based no it's drawing based on those
00:26:27
yeah me worry why I buy auto parts from James Evans right so look that was another ad from 1930 they pulled from
00:26:33
because they used to Alfred E Newman used to have a phrase that said me worry oh right yeah yeah yeah so they kind of
00:26:38
bit that so they stole that from the 50s from another W so he was stolen so this
00:26:45
is you're you're rocking Stolen Valor tattoo right now yeah Stolen Valor it's kind of crazy yeah it's crazy I had I
00:26:53
never asked when I was on the show what it was about or what it meant new boy 1894 wow what's the good of anything
00:27:00
nothing I got to tell you that looks exactly like me as a kid yeah you're alfredy Newman dude who I wish do the
00:27:08
smile that's the guy dude if I had if I had if I had a gap in my front teeth it'd be exactly looking me me worry yeah his catchphrase is what me worry it's
00:27:19
really funny and they used to say that on the magazine what me worry question mark I lik the back of the magazine
00:27:26
where you had the match the thing the folding paper I like that that was very cool that was fun do you remember Mad Magazine do you ever have it it was like
00:27:32
as a little girl too much yeah yeah it was yeah it was too I don't know I never got into it as a little girl the name
00:27:39
alfredy Newman derived from the comedian uh Henry Morgan's hears Morgan radio series on Mutual ABC and NBC character
00:27:45
on the show the name the reference to the composer Alfred Newman who scored many films and composed The Familiar Fan Fair that accompanies 20 Century Fox's
00:27:52
opening film logo wow the guy that's in that's mgn oh sorry my bad my bad the lion no that's good though but that was dead on Lion though
00:28:12
that was very very good yeah I want to get my tattoo I'm sad you went without me we had this whole thing you guys said when I podcast if we get you to 100,000
00:28:25
followers we're all getting tattoos and then you guys backed out immediately you have 100,000 followers now way over way
00:28:31
over and and Vegas I was trying to get because of you you created a monster man well when you get to a million we'll get tattoos I don't believe you no well that
00:28:42
one I promise you know you know when I was proud of you though when last week you had to follow it was hard hitters it
00:28:49
was Thursday night that was hard it was me roywood junor Roy ro ro I [ __ ] love that guy yeah I love him so funny he's so funny and then um a
00:29:02
tell did a pop in yeah right before I went on right so then you went up and I watched maybe 3 minutes of your set and
00:29:09
you were fighting yeah it was incredible but you won you beat him I held my own yeah did I think you did it was tough it was incredible he go he called me he goes how how was your site I goes longest 15 minutes of my life it's good
00:29:22
I like those nights we all need those nights but anyway um I was proud of you thanks means the world to me I think you need those 15 minutes I think you need those nights like when I first got
00:29:32
passed I remember those nights they were tough I hated doing them sometimes cuz you were just you're trudging through
00:29:39
the mud sometimes you think man but then when it finally starts to flip consistently something happens I I
00:29:46
always say I it reminds me of um like learning to ski or snowboard it it's it's like oddly impossible when you first start doing it you're like why am I falling like I know how to not fall
00:29:58
what the [ __ ] am I doing and then something flips something weird flips where you gain so much confidence in
00:30:03
learning how to how to be on your edges that you're like oh that's okay I'm not going to fall it doesn't matter the same
00:30:10
point about ice skating cuz when I what I don't know why that made me laugh he was a champion ice skater don't do that no no but I was on the you know I was been on a bunch of ice hockey teams tripo
00:30:23
xod oh a triple XLE that was your name on the ice first of all Korean triple axo yeah but Koreans rip it in the Olympics with with ice skating
00:30:36
with what what event not not not the speed remember that Korean girl that won the gold the Korean lady yeah yeah yeah
00:30:43
and yeah her look at how emotional she is I love watching I look at that face there are no more R that's what that
00:30:49
face is that's just her face oh that is that's when it's it's it's it's just cold in there yeah she's shivering yeah
00:30:56
she's freezing the poor girl but even can I go back to my I hadn't ice skated in like 25 years
00:31:03
and then once I hit the rank I just knew how to do it oh yeah right once you learn it it's just in your like riding a
00:31:09
bike it's just ingrained into your thing but like you know when you're learning something new especially at my age now
00:31:16
it's just yeah [ __ ] it I'd like to say it's also like riding a bicycle because I rode a bicycle for a
00:31:21
long time and I took a lot of time I just said it what's going on you know what it's
00:31:26
kind of like with stand up it's kind of like riding a bike kind of a BMX bike it's kind of like riding a BMX bike with
00:31:32
pegs yeah except you're sitting down yeah of course you're not standing up it's crazy I have no idea what's going
00:31:38
on I had a great time in Houston shout out to Houston had a great time down there in Houston and then they took me
00:31:44
to one of the local standup spots and uh boy oh boy Houston knows how to get down you know the [ __ ] they have like the strip of cars where people just show off their cars and [ __ ]
00:31:56
and they were like bumping with like LED lights under underneath one dude had his trunk open and I'm not kidding he had a
00:32:03
[ __ ] let me guess huh he had a bunch of families in there yeah he was taking yeah am I wrong no he was taking them to sweet potatoes taking right yeah he's selling sweet potato s potatoes yeah okay what else but look at just like
00:32:15
that so the dude had in the back of his back of his trunk I'm not kidding I'm not it said pull me over I'm not kidding
00:32:22
pull me over haunting the cops yeah and by the way in the back look in the back so some of them have speakers this guy
00:32:27
had a [ __ ] diarama of like the city of Houston he had like the cityscape in the back of his trunk w wow but it said
00:32:33
pull me over and I thought I was asking the local Comics I was like so these guys just ride around like this they don't get in trouble at all he's like
00:32:39
nah the cops the cops know that they might have guns too so they don't even want to pull them over I was like that's so funny in La they'd get pull over in
00:32:46
seconds yeah you know it's illegal to cruise on Sunset do you know that they re they just reinstated it again oh wow
00:32:55
okay no do do you remember back in the day dude you just brought me back dude back in the day at the store when I was
00:33:02
young right there was cruising there was people with those kind of cards a bunch
00:33:07
of chicks you know what I mean players yo what's up player yeah players yeah I got it yeah yeah is that
00:33:19
player Bob what's up doy Doogie doy Doogie I don't know if that's a word yeah but yeah rise you got to rise got
00:33:26
to rise up you rise up dude take a chance but you're not allowed to cruise anymore on Sunset it's crazy there's no more cruising if they sorry how do you
00:33:34
they know if you're creu like if they see you pass by the same point you don't know the difference between regular regular riding and cruising well if I
00:33:41
got pulled over Pro cruising I'd be like I just missed my turn yeah but then you're not cruising yeah you're not you
00:33:46
know you know when you're cruising when you're cruising you sound like a cop yeah yeah yeah oh yeah pull over let me
00:33:52
see your license of registration oh okay well you know that you're cruising when you're cruising oh I'm driving no you're
00:33:59
cruising you're definitely cruising young lady give me license regation I will comply officer but I'm just driving
00:34:05
to work I'm his new partner we've seen you cruising around here and your bubbly cocking Piggly
00:34:12
popping out to all the all your friends you're going to prison my last accent wasn't even real this is my gu can I see
00:34:20
your badges yeah so up you you know the difference between cruising and riding no cruising is like this dog no I tell you about Cruise it baby
00:34:35
creu you want me to [Music] Cru BR dude the lower they get hey I'm Cru what's up
00:34:56
dog and then yeah that's when you get pulled over when you get too low too low they can't see you it's good yeah dude no cruising two times pass the same point within six
00:35:08
hours that's that's insane that's way too specific yeah yeah cuz what if you went and got food and came back we can't
00:35:14
do that that's cruising these balls are out of control you got to go around man you have to
00:35:20
learn to cruise dude can we Cruise yeah we can yeah we can Cruise dude we got to get the right car but we can cruise
00:35:25
let's cruise in Ontario yeah oh with the cruising Zone and is really nice cruising is also another word in the gay
00:35:30
community cruising when you're what is it tell me you going fishing for dick Carlos knows in Parks yeah cruising
00:35:36
cruising for sex there it is Wikipedia's got it dude even the wiki knows let me ask you something if I'm in a park late
00:35:43
at night it's not known for cruising but can I find cruising my guess would be every Park late at night is known section of cruising there's got to be cruising
00:35:54
everywhere right is there a noise you make when you're cruising when when you're dick cruising is there a noise
00:36:00
you make Carlos do the noise when you're dick cruising in a park now you just you like walk up to like a a tree with like
00:36:07
a bush around it you just go oh you clear your throat yeah you need the throat to be clear oh oh that's
00:36:15
where that song comes from Let Me Clear My Throat someone give me a big black dick somebody give me that big black dick by the way I used to oh here we go I used to live across the street from
00:36:29
the circus of books and they called that Vaseline alley oh I know back in the day Vaseline alley that guess it was that's
00:36:37
that's was circus of books that was number one for cruising that's a great Cruis because hold on across the street from circus of books used to be a bar
00:36:44
that was called um the gold come on the the gold punch what is it Carlos you know room no but it was it was the main club in front of Vaseline
00:36:57
and and sometimes I would walk down that street to get to The Improv what baby I don't know gold Co
00:37:04
Gold Coast yeah what about this place on Santa Boulevard the amount of times I've seen guys getting their dick sucked in
00:37:10
that alley walking home from The Improv at night I'm not kidding uncountable do you ever see Carlos on S the Starbucks
00:37:17
that one that's a cruising spot 633 whoa wow we got to go there but on Santa M right by the store by Santa Mel Boulevard right there's a French place oh do you know what I'm talking about
00:37:29
the one next to 7-Eleven and yeah there was it's like a French place I never knew what was there it wasn't a
00:37:34
restaurant hallay in lasa yeah but what was that place what do you mean it's still there I I us I used to eat brunch
00:37:40
there Don Baris goes there all day oh that's food it's a great food Oh I thought was a [ __ ] Cruising spot well
00:37:46
we could turn it into one yeah I like back my bad I like that this was called Gay bucks that Starbucks was gay Buck
00:37:51
yeah gay bug okay give me number three that's also the currency they accepted really 24-Hour Fitness that is
00:37:57
so obvious the one on Santa Monica I mean you can when you drive on Santa Monica you can look up and see people getting their [ __ ] sucked on the
00:38:03
treadmill Home Depot that's if you want if you want Mexicans walking on their knees hey have you cruising over here man you want runion Canyon you want me to fix
00:38:15
something or yeah are you cruising yeah yeah runion yeah oh wow I go there all the time never seen it that's also true you do go that a cruise Target what Target for sure the one on Santa Monica
00:38:26
in LaBrea oh studs theater that was the POR it's gone rest in peace studs they closed it down yeah you know I used to
00:38:32
lie to people when they came into town and I and took them P there's used to be a bar over there called luit a Russian bar and studs is right like down the
00:38:39
street from it and when we were going there if we parked and walk out I always be like you know that's the the theater where they caught PeeWee Herman
00:38:44
everybody believed it it was in Florida or some [ __ ] like that but everyone was like that's the one so it got passed
00:38:49
around that's where we met by the way bar lubish you and me yeah at the at at the show in the back mhm W that was the
00:38:56
first time I met you you me and and Brent Weinbach I love weach he was so he's so funny he's really funny wait me
00:39:02
you Brent Weinbach I don't maybe TJ Miller yeah Miller that sounded familiar The Pavilions which one Robertson yeah
00:39:10
the Roberts yeah that Makow yeah that makes sense Vaseline allly there is dud you know Vaseline allly told you bro
00:39:17
told you I had a membership for a couple months but wow if you're not stocking enough they kick you out the the troll Coast
00:39:24
instead of the Gold Coast and the mold Coast PR primarily to its aging clientele the mold ghost can I ask the
00:39:31
etiquette of cruising though may I so could you might must know Carlos I'm I'm in when I'm in Vaseline alley right let's suppose I'm walking down Vaseline alley well you're like kind of sliding
00:39:44
I'm sliding sliding and do I what do I do do I go look at a guy and go huh no I imagine you could just be very
00:39:55
or you just pull it out like I don't know what you do I hell I don't think you have to be koi in it's not a standup
00:40:01
set you don't just pull it out like that you just clear your throat this dude is D honestly let's get
00:40:09
this is what I know what this is what is it it's a resentment he has why I don't
00:40:15
know why that's why I want to get to the root of it because there's a resentment that he has but it's coming out in this way yeah right like it's a it's an anger
00:40:22
so I want to get to the root of it because this is going to start a war yeah this is you know I agree yeah this
00:40:28
is endgame here so um what is the anger on my birthday you chose everybody but me as your I I was your less favorite people basically yeah I also said though that
00:40:41
it's a hard Choice yeah yeah I said it was really hard yeah that makes up how you you know I also said it
00:40:52
was hard Joy yeah it's true okay I it wasn't I was say it was like yeah yeah like they
00:40:58
ran away with it you mean there was definitely some like you know I was you know weighing the [ __ ] in my head but you know what I think the truth be told
00:41:09
I probably love you more than I love mcon okay I take it back Draft Kings NBA fans listen up you've got to try pick six the newest fantasy app from
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restrictions apply pick six not available in all states including but not limited to Connecticut and New York for up-to-date list of states visit
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dk. Pick Six States void where prohibited C terms at pick six. draftkings.com promos how of the show's been on the road Jess oh great I headlined 13 shows this
00:42:40
year already right lucky 133 wonderful and then all your response it's been cool seeing people show up and I got
00:42:47
that Netflix thing in May 11th only a few tickets left too it's in may already almost sold out I Netflix is a joke yeah
00:42:54
that's the name of it oh sorry where are you performing uh the belly room it's your own show it's my own show it's already almost
00:43:00
sold out W they should can they add another one I don't know I I mean I think can we open I thought about it I
00:43:07
thought about doing all the people I've I've opened for open for me because yeah that's actually a good idea yeah why can
00:43:12
we open why can't we open oh no I want I was I didn't think you would be interested well I mean we didn't get
00:43:18
asked so I barely hear from you guys these days so I was well you're too famous you're [ __ ] bigger than I did get invited to Soho House whoa who which
00:43:26
one the one in Hollywood I think so West Hollywood I mean I think so Beverly Hills yeah and and what and what was the
00:43:32
circumstances uh met them at the comedy store they were like gave me their emails and they said anytime you want to
00:43:37
go just let us know was it representatives of Soho House yeah oh nice now Carlos how can are do belong to
00:43:43
so yeah no you belong right Carlos can you get me in yeah they let him belong to it oh yeah yeah I think you're but you know how much it would hurt if I got denied oh my God you wouldn't get denied
00:43:56
what are you talking about you just walk up I've look dude I've never been a member I've been in there [ __ ] 300
00:44:01
times I just walk in yeah they don't say anything what time do they close Oho house I don't uh one two-ish they don't
00:44:08
say any they don't care if you're there they know drugs there it's fine but I'm saying if you if you know how to get
00:44:14
into the part there to get to the door they assume you know what you're doing I'll get you in whoa whoa dude why
00:44:22
haven't you joined so yeah I live in the [ __ ] Valley me too well I don't want to go it's in Beverly Hills I don't go down do they have one in the valley no of course not downtown yeah no they do
00:44:33
have one in the valley actually really they have a secret Soho house where is it they do have a secret
00:44:39
Soho House yeah yeah where is it I don't know if I should tell all right are you allowed to know Tim Dylan's house yeah
00:44:44
that's the other Soho yeah yeah that's a Soho House any any interest of dating anybody
00:44:51
or oh what's going on in the dating scene I really want to be in a relationship but I feel like I have no time to EXP explore that like I do
00:44:58
single different than Bobby I don't know you guys probably do it kind of the same but you're not doing you jump on R fly
00:45:04
someone in Pay thousands of dollars to host them do that don't you yeah it's not sexy when it's you're doing that for
00:45:09
a man oh right yeah it doesn't work the other way does it not for me I want like I but I don't do that I don't do
00:45:17
that well let's up The Hollywood curtain again and see what do you mean what do you mean what do you mean what do you
00:45:22
mean is that a bad is that a bad am I a that's a not a insult do you get on Ryan Fly Girls in from other
00:45:37
places it's not even invasive it's not it's like a [ __ ] common knowledge I have I had
00:45:44
before want another okay D what is going on with bob cut it out go ahead cut it out no keep it in no it's fine I just don't I think that's not like an offensive or a mean
00:45:56
or rude thing no I think it's awesome and hot if I were the girl I'd be like that's awesome I need to find a guy I've
00:46:01
done it a couple times in my lifetime let's just say that and and I'm asking you because when you were up on stage
00:46:07
Thursday night mhm up there there was two dudes with hardons on in the back and I was sitting in the booths in the back and behind me you know who was watching you with loving in his eyes oh
00:46:20
I he told me yeah wait who my ex oh this is sad no I looked around i l him and he
00:46:26
was I I swear to God this is what his face was oh yeah that's that's karma coming at you it's not com Karma I want
00:46:33
come karma coming in I want that happen no it's okay we'll clean it later you know why he was looking he was doing he
00:46:39
was doing this he his arm stretched out like this on the thing right you're on stage that way right and he was doing
00:46:45
this you know why right why he's a huge davael fan oh yeah this is he was he was
00:46:51
not on stage no he came running into the room cuz they said davel was there fine
00:46:58
compliment him all he's doing I like the real quiet anyway no but you're But but so
00:47:05
seriously you're not on the apps or none of that [ __ ] no I I don't know how to find somebody because I work a lot like
00:47:13
I'm I'm I went to a party but it was like a work party so that was the first time I went out outside of a work
00:47:19
environment in so long so I'm just oh [ __ ] Sunday at the andz yeah I was invited I forgot about it what was there that's crazy you know about the party I didn't think you go to
00:47:31
that the employee party it was the birthday party it was like 10 people have birthday yeah she turned 40 yeah yeah it
00:47:37
was a it was a great party everybody dressed up I dressed up as Debbie Harry everyone thought I was Taylor Swift and there was no guy there that you went no cuz I work with all of them and yeah I'm
00:47:50
not doing that when you're on the road so when I'm on the road there's been a couple guys in like the Mee and gr that
00:47:55
will be like can I take you out for for a drink but it feels weird cuz I've just it's like they know about me but I don't
00:48:01
know anything about them I mean that's how it works that is how it works is it though cuz like now I'm I I don't know
00:48:09
these people I know but when you become more known that's part of it just feels weird they know more about me but than I
00:48:14
know then you you know what you do it's an old trick in the book you may not know you ask questions
00:48:21
you get to know them like what do you do you're like teaching an autistic kid to have a date it feels so awkward ask
00:48:27
questions buddy you ask questions buddy that's how you learn yeah and also can I just say this it's not wrong to get some
00:48:33
side dick yeah but also okay that's a good point I feel a lot of pressure to go on right that's in a book somewhere
00:48:39
that is in some book maybe in that cruising 101 Vaseline alley book yeah how do is
00:48:45
there pressure because if I go on a date they're going to want to have sex but maybe I don't want to have sex then lay that lay that out forward go look I'm
00:48:51
not interested in sleeping with someone but I am down to hang out with you just say that up top ABS [ __ ] solutely but
00:48:56
even if you did like the guy right you you have a couple of drinky drinks right and you're like yeah I want to make out with this guy if there's nothing wrong with that and you're also still not obligated to do [ __ ] yeah you just tell
00:49:08
them look I'm not going to sleep with you I wish you guys could come with me we will let's do it yeah just over your
00:49:14
shoulder we're like she's not going to [ __ ] you man people don't realize I was in that relationship for five years and
00:49:20
I've just been working my ass up like in stand up like head to the ground like hustling so I I have so out of touch
00:49:26
yeah but you deserve to enjoy that stuff too you you deserve to get it doesn't have to mean anything it can just be fun
00:49:33
yeah I maybe that's what my therapist says yeah you're allowed to have fun you're allowed to have fun in life maybe
00:49:38
I'll do the app the app sound scary like I'll just meet up with somebody in a random Place B alley Carlos does that
00:49:44
all the time yeah you can meet them at a police station or a fire house that sounds so lame good advice
00:49:52
kid also you know what with someone like you right you you could be in the power
00:49:58
position I don't want to be the but wait go on go on go on go on and you could have a guy that you're
00:50:04
attracted to who's a great guy great ethics value morals great job all the things but likes to follow in your footsteps and doesn't need to be the center of attention and you're the that person he could be supportive of you and
00:50:18
then you get gray dick on the side mhm yeah I kind of want someone like I watch Good Fellas recently no no yeah I want like a mafia a guy who has connections and like I want a powerful man in my
00:50:30
relationship you want a guy that owns a sandwich shop in New Jersey huh car you I don't want to date a [ __ ] you
00:50:38
know what are you talking about no that's what I'm talking about yeah what are you talking hey forget about it hey forget
00:50:46
about this lady over here that's what he says so anyway um that's what he says after all too fast forget about it forget about hey forget about it it's
00:50:58
$10000 take a walk huh go shopping hey go shower [ __ ] don't tell anybody I came too fast insecure gangster don't tell anybody that I pre came can we get what you what you're
00:51:12
looking for here like can we check off the list what are you looking for here um I want somebody not in comedy but
00:51:22
okay oh that you hear what she just said what doesn't want a Jewish person that's what she just said yeah
00:51:27
racist racist racist you don't want a Jewish person none of us are Jewish um no but somebody as far as you know who
00:51:34
makes as much money as me or more Jew yeah so now you want a Jew maybe I do maybe I don't I don't mix her no she set up as much money as her or more yeah so
00:51:45
like half Jewish yeah okay like a like dad's Jewish mom's not yeah right okay not a real Jew what
00:51:52
else um that they're like they fight why do you make that face that's a good quality I don't know why you need that yeah I want to feel protected yeah
00:52:04
but what if they just have a gun yeah what if I have mace I don't want I don't want to go on a DAT in this guy what if I what if I have the rap whle so funny
00:52:10
that I said gun he said mace why that's just such an extreme difference I know you want to murder I
00:52:17
just want to like I don't want to murder shoot him in the knees you know like Jake jillen Hall in
00:52:22
Southpaw yeah in what Southpaw can I get that yeah you can can't you can't get that my standards are too high that's a really cuz he is that's like topof the line Jake Jill
00:52:33
he's so look at the guy Road House Road House Jesus [ __ ] Christ he's great in that's all I want yeah that's you're not g to get that simple pimple stuff yeah you're not going to get that Roadhouse
00:52:45
look at that that's what you want yeah of course and you know what you're going to get he's not interested you know
00:52:50
you're really going to get you're going to get Stavros yeah exactly yeah you know he can fight there
00:52:57
that's it he can fight though he can fight and he's got a he looks Mafia yeah not Italian it's like the roadh house photo but like stretched out a little bit Yeah like panoramic panoramic Road
00:53:08
House maybe if I squint my eyes yeah like if a skinny guy got a tattoo of Jake Gyllenhaal and then he got fat that
00:53:14
would be the tattoo that'd be the tattoo yeah so so you're looking for a guy that can fight a guy that has more money or as much money as you yeah right I don't want to
00:53:26
be like the power of dynamic I I don't like to be the more you don't want to pay for someone else you want someone to
00:53:32
pay for you yeah and if a a guy that says an independent person what if I'm a guy that says yo [ __ ] art this one of the cruising
00:53:44
guys yeah yeah yeah he's just like [ __ ] bosia man I [ __ ] hate art is that a problem well no okay cuz then I could do my own thing
00:53:56
yeah yeah and you know I hate food what do you eat oh I met this guy yeah you heard you know this guy you know this guy I've never heard Bobby say that yeah yeah not me I love at my body
00:54:09
I love food yeah yeah but um but I hate food like you know I got to eat [ __ ] oh you know who did say that the other day who Mark Smalls he hates the art of eating he yeah look at him malnutrition
00:54:22
I know I don't trust that at all hate food he doesn't he eats war zone all day yeah he thinks it's a waste of time you can only say that it's a first world country problem I hate food do a guy
00:54:32
that doesn't like food eats it because he has to survive but doesn't like flavors or great restaurant what about a
00:54:38
guy that never wants to go out to eat ever only does home-cooked meals refuses to go out that's weird okay yeah what if he's got a nice pipe and he knows how to fight and he makes and he makes a lot of
00:54:49
money we'll eat at home no what about one of those fools that do meal preps so I know people they go yeah I buy a bunch of chicken a bunch of rice and I just
00:55:01
cook it at one time and they save it and this is Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday does that guy
00:55:06
bother you if I wanted that I'd be a lesbian and just get a housewife okay okay so that's you you guys are asking me about dating like how you would want a woman no no no no no no no we're just
00:55:18
saying like what would be the flaw that you'd be okay with that's weird like that like it's a little strange but it's
00:55:25
not that big of a deal I wouldn't it wouldn't be like I would end the date immediately if he's like I love to meal
00:55:30
person what if what if he was what if he was really handsome and cool but he also but he smoked crack but he made a lot of
00:55:35
[ __ ] money and yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and he had a nice dick but he smoked rocks yeah he he's not an addict
00:55:43
yeah right okay okay he just casually he's a casual no there could be a guy you think casual crackhead a casual I only do it on weekends and I only do it
00:55:55
with my friends yeah okay so on Saturday Sunday night I never smoke alone never Friday and Saturdays right him and his buddies they'll watch a game smoke crack and smoke crack together yeah but Monday
00:56:07
through Friday I mean just during the days he goes to his [ __ ] he he works at you know an insurance company exactly yeah
00:56:14
he's an insurance broker he works for All State well I've always wanted to try crack so okay well yeah have you never
00:56:22
tried it no I don't think so have I tried crack no man that's not an insane question man
00:56:31
most people haven't tried crap i've smoked cocaine that's crack that's close that's
00:56:38
close that's pretty close it didn't look like crack and it was like $80 give me the percentages of Americans that use
00:56:44
crack like how would they even find them all to do the second yeah crack statistics how come I couldn't be on this survey who uses crack cocaine
00:56:57
okay that's not bad that's statistic no crack I'm trying to be funny but of I would not want a crack user okay ISS that 97% of crack users
00:57:09
are American God is good God is good this the greatest country in the world we know what's good is yeah all those
00:57:15
those [ __ ] losers are they don't know what it is imagine if you introduce crack to like Japan how much it's it's like the
00:57:22
cleanest place on Earth yeah it's already that way yeah what would crack do just more efficient I mean no crack
00:57:30
doesn't make you like not crack's not like meth yeah but in Japan it would be Japan it would be now Japanese people on
00:57:37
math what kind of Technologies can they make we go to the moon and back the same day they make that you know the Avengers
00:57:44
Avengers endgame that little thing that they can go back in the past they could make one they make that like an hour and
00:57:49
a half an hour and a half give give a Japanese guy Aderall is what's that old quote give a Japanese guy
00:57:56
teach a Japanese guy how to fish you'll eat Aderall he'll eat Aderall build a time machine what's that
00:58:03
old quote what are these statistics 2022 was the high highest use of crack in yeah it's like uh 5.7 we're back baby there was a dip oh man there was a dip
00:58:15
yeah a dip in Co let you couldn't get cracked during Co isn't that funny that's why they did it try to stop the
00:58:23
drug wars they made everyone stay at home wow I'm elected less black people smoking crack oh 2011 speaking of dip I
00:58:32
got to bring it up we have to stop smoking you both do I've said that twice why you have to do a pack I feel like you you're the one that got me back on this road that's not fair to say that
00:58:42
but it's true it's not true it's not fair but true we would go on the road and Bobby would Corner me and like hit
00:58:47
me to give him cigarettes and I no you would go like this before the your set cigarette no I would that everyone know I'm like he you know I quit I went weak one won't hurt you said one won't hurt
00:59:00
so are you saying are you genuinely saying on the show right here right now that jety got you back on cigarettes I
00:59:05
can say this for a fact I can I know I can say this for a fact no but I can say that if she wasn't on
00:59:13
the road with us I wouldn't be smoking now that's why I'm quitting yeah yeah so I can say that for a fact he would bully
00:59:19
me for cigarettes and I was no dude honestly let's not be let's be real and tell the fans that's so insane that you
00:59:25
would even say that it's true though I had quit for 2 years it broke my heart to and I'm like I'm sitting in my
00:59:30
dressing room and you would stick your fingers into the door with a cigarette and go I would blow the smoke in your
00:59:38
face but yeah I didn't do that other stuff so no I'm going to die from lung cancer and I hope you Corner me and be
00:59:44
like you're fired if you don't give me them like it was oh my God that's so insane that you would even say that it's
00:59:50
true it's not true you [ __ ] bastard and then you say I can handle it I can handle it I'll just you remember I think
00:59:57
he was with us in Vegas when we were outside yeah I remember it was concerning that you were smoking cuz I knew you quit for a while but I do know
01:00:04
that jety wouldn't just like offer you [ __ ] that you she knew you quit she was a abler yeah but he made her he did you
01:00:12
hear that that's the greatest thing you've ever said in your life she was the supplier my no it's a p power
01:00:18
Dynamic issue it was it's not a part it was a literal quid pro clo supplier if you don't give me a
01:00:25
cigarette you don't supper sounds right it sounds pretty good without supp there's no means
01:00:33
correct that's right right then I'm quitting and I really hope you do it with me no I know you won't I'm lost in
01:00:39
it now I know at two years the mortality of lung cancer are highest in Asia compared with Europe and USA with
01:00:44
instance and mortality rates being 34.4 and 28.1 per 100,000 respectively in East Asia Asians be smoking Asians be smoking I really
01:00:55
really tried to hide from you and not give you them just so you know and I don't want to qu but I know I have to
01:01:01
what does that mean that we get it more you get it at a higher ratio per 100,000 people lung cancer because PE many
01:01:07
people in Asia smoke it's I think feel like it's normalized where America has flipped the last decade and and made it
01:01:16
the opposite they've tried to denormalize smoking that's why they took it out of restaurants and around the
01:01:21
world tobacco products smoking vary in each country among different demographic groups the countries with the highest prevalence of of daily smokers are
01:01:27
kirati Naru and papa guini where 35% or more of the population smoke can I ask a
01:01:32
philosophical question yeah yeah how's today's podcast going I've had a really good time me too
01:01:39
I I like you know it's just good to be back with the gang this is the gang right and when I was in Houston alone I
01:01:45
felt a little sad I knew you would I missed the gang a little bit you know what's so funny about the road at night
01:01:50
same thing that we had um I I brought Mike fzone down there you know fzone MH and we were it wasn't great we were writing together and stuff and like you're writing and you're working and I'm working on this hour and then at
01:02:01
night in the hotel it is there are those moments when I'm like staring at the stuff and going over all the [ __ ] and re
01:02:07
listening to the shows that you I think that's the hardest part that people don't know
01:02:14
performing all that stuff most fun hardest part is like tinkering retooling it's almost like when you build a paper airplane when you're a kid and the first one's [ __ ] dog [ __ ] and then somebody
01:02:24
teaches you how to do like the flap and you're like whoa how do you do that and then you keep doing until you then you
01:02:29
start to really figure it out but sometimes the tinkering is that's the hardest [ __ ] yeah especially when you
01:02:35
feel like it's not like why the [ __ ] isn't that flying I don't even understand it I can sell something if I
01:02:40
know it's going to work right but when it's when I I'm iffy about it my the confidence is like 50% less I say it not meekly but I say it in a uh not in the
01:02:52
way I would normally deliver something well yeah the audiences have gotten smart they know that you're not all the way in so they can feel it when you say
01:02:58
something but also the wording sometimes like oh my I think I [ __ ] up the wording I know something works I know
01:03:04
the beats and all that stuff but sometimes I'll see the setup of it and I'll go oh that was completely wrong
01:03:09
right it feels you know mean and now when I do the the funny part it's just going to not make a sense or you know
01:03:15
what I mean I hate it but that's the tooling that's kind of the most fun but I doand what is this Thailand passes
01:03:21
Bill to legalize same-sex marriage so finally wait a minute was illegal in Thailand yeah isn't that the spot to go get Tha boys and all have that crazy deviant fun yeah like in one
01:03:31
neighborhood probably wait but in the but probably in Bangkok they legalize weed before samesex marriage it's the first Southeast Asian Nation to guarantee the marriage rights for gay
01:03:43
and lesbi that's great the beginning is that now that just happened now yeah so lady boys are chill but gay marriage is
01:03:49
not chill it's only fun if it's illegal Jesus no no let that sink in yeah we'll put that on your Tombstone it's only fun when it's illegal and then as soon as illegal
01:04:00
honor his last words were it's only fun if it's illegal isn't that the point of that going to
01:04:07
Thailand of getting lady boys no I think that's a lot of people that have that have these repressed feelings about
01:04:12
having sex with trans women or men uh and don't want to [ __ ] come clean about how they feel so they go there to be like well it's the you know it's a thing here but they're just afraid of how they feel if they wanted to do it
01:04:25
you know out out out loud they just do it here no but they don't it's a thing here but they're repressed so they go
01:04:31
there because they feel like that's a that's like a pass it's like a pass they don't want to do it here because they don't want to and I feel like so many
01:04:37
people that go over there that to get lady boys they're married I feel like that's married dudes go there to do that yeah cuz if you're single you could just
01:04:43
do sneak it here if you're single you wanted a lady boy here you could just get one here right Carlos yeah of course
01:04:51
yeah have you been to Bangkok Carlos and done that thing no I haven't would you go get a lady boy no I I I'm not it's
01:04:58
like so borderline like sex trafficky to me that I don't want to go over there get a lady man yeah get a lady man get a
01:05:04
lady man you're in La no I would do it now T not a lady boy a lady I would go to Thailand you're bisexual Bobby and you're not wow interesting no
01:05:18
I'm not no it's all on a spectrum and I think we're like on that Spectrum right next to each other I'm not on Spectrum now is Carlos hitting on Bobby yeah you guys
01:05:29
are I did say we'd be a good couple I mean I but okay you do like my ass your ass
01:05:37
I'm going to say about your ass probably the best ass I've had men and women oh hell yeah your ass is yeah man you're not on that
01:05:49
Spectrum you guys are on that Spectrum I'm driving by you know what I'm cruising no let me ask I'm cruising okay
01:05:55
have you going over there seen his butt I mean it just in his pants yeah no look
01:06:00
at the be ass do no all right show it go stand in the hallway there so I can see it okay I'll judge it's like an optical
01:06:12
illusion turn around stay there Jesse close your eyes yeah stay over there yeah yeah yeah let's see turn this
01:06:20
way bend over spread it no don't spread it please don't spread it uh yeah I mean it's looks like a regular guy's butt if the oh that's good do you
01:06:33
like that when he shakes oh my God I love it this is what Dan Snider did in that his riding
01:06:38
room this where his riding we'll be right back bad friends after these commercial and then we just get gacked now you got a regular guys's butt
01:06:50
I don't know it looks like a guy's butt I think that's what Bobby likes anyway thank you for being a bad
01:06:57
friend thank you for being a bad [Music] friendo wo [Music] wo