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two are bad friends who are these two idiots
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[Music] or something we're bad friends hey Adam DeVine is here
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[Laughter] my boy Adam DeVine
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my man so you sent me a poster of a movie Thursday yeah but I didn't listen
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I thought no you didn't even look at it because you're like I'm gonna walk yeah it's an invite I didn't know to a
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screening of the movie I'm trying to get my friends and people uh I thought you were sending me friends to a successful
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podcast I thought he was sending me [ __ ] he's just in so I'm like oh I'll watch you know I
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mean like who wants to be watching me watch that and then I looked at it it was a Premiere yeah I can't make it it's
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fine all right do you even know when the premiere is Thursday when this Thursday this Thursday right it's next Thursday
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and it wasn't I could go dude okay come here's the fight are you gonna go here's the funny it's not a dude you're gonna
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be disappointed because it's not the main Premiere it's not the main it's all right it's a screening so can you go
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next Thursday yeah no no you can't why you're on the road I can't make it oh God damn I'm so sorry dude but dude I
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want to watch it guy has no idea about his own schedule can I can I hype up the movie real quick yeah go ahead no and then I'll leave Pierce Bronson Pierce
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Bros is in it no it uh it it uh the the trailer came out yesterday yeah 24 million people watched it in 24 hours
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and that was the uh the highest trailer like across all platforms uh a million
00:01:38
people an hour I don't know if it was they might have all watched it in the first hour I don't know how it is yeah
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but let's just say an average yeah that is the average and uh is bigger than murder mystery bigger than hustle
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big over the than our Movie game over man so I'm the king of the world baby is
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it a comedy comedy come on back down I hate it man no me Mr ego you are dude
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but is it a comedy yeah it is yeah I have to say you don't let me in the
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other things yet I also have to say you and Tony cavallaro on that show it's just the best have you seen them the
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righteous gemstones yeah them together though yeah it's comedy gold yeah it's I'm old friends of Tony are you oh old
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friend yeah oh yeah good dude but you guys together oh my God laugh laughly laugh laugh a big swinging dick in
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Hollywood he is a Hollywood guy isn't he now he is okay we all are I see I see this new studio not me dude I'm not last
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time I saw this studio it's in like a little [ __ ] Heap yeah uh this room was like this room right here was three
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times the size of your other Studio yeah this is yeah yeah yeah so that hey Adam would you say that um Andrew was more
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Hollywood than me uh be honest successful yeah just in general oh we're not talking success
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I don't want you to hurt my feelings I don't want to hurt my feelings you set yourself up
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no you know what my heart's open it's the case yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah well there you go dude I just saw you on a
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plane and a movie uh uh a house party yeah yeah sorry man yeah dude they had
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to spend more money on that Panda pretty bad you mean oh the koala yeah the koala
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pretty bad the movie's not good no man it's not good well it's not great
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but it's it's fine for what it is uh I wouldn't even say it I've been in what it is I've been in bad movies too and I
00:03:31
don't like to because everyone goes into a movie saying like this is gonna be good we're gonna make this good and then
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you watch it you're like oh [ __ ] house party's bad I've never been in a bad movie really kicking middle school is
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good Kiki middle school is good I mean you have to have you have to be
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in the right mood to watch it yeah you know you've never been in anything that's bad yeah tell me I think you're I think your track record's flawless
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what do you mean I think everything you've ever made has been really really good everything it seems like you're
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setting something up no it's an attack I think all your stuff is good go for it look at this IMDb this guy oh don't be
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[ __ ] well first of all go back to the top real fast that photo from 36 years ago is hot that's when I first met Bobby
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that's what he looked like yeah wore a lot of blazers uh was always fingering
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his [ __ ] from the front the cuff in the pants dude get them too
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long don't bother him yeah hey I did that roll them up how do I switch that photo I hate it no leave it for years
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I've been trying to switch it who controls that your agent dude I don't know do they I've been wondering that
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too I feel like my IMDb photo is good but my Wikipedia so there's some [ __ ] out there that just keeps changing it to
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like I it's me on the Macy's day [Laughter]
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you please do because I don't like it dude yeah they had like a I had like a
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really bad photo for a while that was from Comic-Con where I'm like dangerously hungover yeah
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and then that was that for years yeah and then they changed it to one that I actually like secretly really liked what
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was I was I was at the USO tour and I was like I had a job for the troops dude
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yeah there's troops around so I look like I care about them yeah you know but
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look up Andrew I want to see Andrew I have a scarf [ __ ] me yeah what is that what's the Andrews Wikipedia you know
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what yours is I have no idea no I don't know
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hold on here's What's creepy about this this is what I'm this is what I I don't know I've never done a thing to it yeah
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that's from Neil Brennan's podcast that I did like six months ago so someone must be oh someone's updated Neil did it
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Neil [ __ ] brother he thinks he's the [ __ ] comedy police it's funny that's because he changed yours yeah yes uh-huh
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it all makes sense shut up [ __ ] dude let's see what yours is yours also another oh that's a really
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good that's from Neil's that's for me it's not bad I swear to God that's from Neil Brown I know it is so he's [ __ ]
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doing it I'm gonna do his podcast uh in like a week or something hopefully I get a good your picture will change
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wow I think he does that right not even in high res why they're using like a shitty well good I don't want to be in
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high res man when it comes to a photo that's just living on the movies could be in high-res I understand that yeah
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but I'm not good statically Adam if I'm moving if you're a high res
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you're 4K you're 4K dude and this is you need to be in 240. yeah I want to be too
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deep I'm 720 you're 240 for sure I'm 540. no you're not yeah yeah I have to be 540. 240 doesn't even exist okay
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you'll be 540 I'm seven I'm blurry that's right yeah okay and the only way I know that is from PornHub where you
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can adjust I don't know how to do it to my very nice TV but yeah yeah sometimes when I'm
00:07:05
flicking it from my phone to my TV and it fails because Apple TV won't work when you're flicking it is all I heard
00:07:10
from well I'm flicking it when you flick it to the Apple TV and I've got a I've written a few complaint letters to Apple
00:07:16
saying you guys got to get the the screen sharing down like that yeah that screen sharing it fails all and you know
00:07:21
headquarters just it goes into a tizzy when they read that email they're like we gotta get it down well what else is
00:07:28
it for what else would you need to flick from your phone to your TV for for the porno yeah if it's not porn what is it
00:07:34
for yeah yeah and what is it for yeah what would it honestly there's no I'm
00:07:39
gonna look at Instagram via no you know no Twitter no there's no there's nothing you need to put from your phone on your
00:07:45
TV other than porn I'm convinced they made it for porn and they were like this is going to be a cool I don't know what you're talking about
00:07:52
I absolutely don't know what you're talking about I know you don't fall into TV what do you explain here check this
00:07:57
out okay okay I'm sorry shortly after the war don't do this Apple invented
00:08:02
technology where you could flip your phone to your television you mean mirror yeah you can screen mirror yeah that's
00:08:08
what it is yeah you don't just have a streamer you can also screen share screen share it so either mirrors your
00:08:14
entire phone or you can just do just videos may I ask a question yeah go ahead kiddo so um if I'm watching like
00:08:20
John Wick 4 by the way yeah he dies
00:08:31
no I did not see it but they're like planning a sequel yeah that's what that's what's great about it I don't
00:08:37
know how they're gonna revive oh yeah yeah yeah yeah that's what's great about it yeah yeah I I'm curious to see what
00:08:43
they're gonna come up with this is going to make you mad and I don't know if I told you this go ahead I went to go see John Wick for I know you told me yeah
00:08:48
and I walked out you didn't like it I walked out I was I think I had a heavy
00:08:54
day and it was like John Wick wasn't it just was too I was like yeah I want to go see John Wick I've seen them all and
00:09:00
I went in there and I saw like 15 20 minutes and I was like I I don't want to do this
00:09:05
sure it's exhausting John Wick is not it's not an easy walk it's just
00:09:10
exhausting and I wasn't a brain power it goes I couldn't do it it also dissecting that story
00:09:17
I just didn't need like
00:09:23
I just couldn't do it I was like he made like it was something absurd like he made like five hundred thousand dollars a word
00:09:30
because he only says yeah he says nothing he says like 14 words in the whole goddamn it's amazing it's it's pretty exhausting to watch it because
00:09:36
you're like why this what is this uh so I was in you're like who's that who's that who's that Berlin at Studio
00:09:43
bablesberg shooting my Pitch Perfect spin-off show Bumper in Berlin
00:09:48
at the same time they were finishing reshoots for John Wick 4 and my God we
00:09:55
were like the only Productions going at that time how like bummed people were when they would stumble onto our set
00:10:02
thinking it was John Wick all the time I feel like oh it's just bump on special oh nothing special could I just say one
00:10:08
thing about John wickens here oh just a bumper okay where is he located just
00:10:15
Pampa huh the black the black you see John Wick four I haven't no there's a blind guy in it
00:10:26
I love blind people he thinks blind people shouldn't be able to imagine what that's what cancels Bob
00:10:33
no like in Stevie Wonder bio pick yeah of course I love the blind you know what I mean sure yeah whatever Ray Charles
00:10:39
yeah there's days you know I mean they're blind you know I mean who else is blind you know John Wick there's one
00:10:44
but he is has the same skill level as John Wick but he's completely blind okay
00:10:50
doesn't make any sense what timeout yeah what is the thing of that movie that doesn't make sense
00:10:57
yeah that's the point I'm going to say the flag what was John Wick's look dude
00:11:02
John Wick was just a guy whose dog was kidnapped he's not he doesn't have any skill level well he was a you know
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assassin before yeah kind of kind of he wasn't a part of a family he was a failed assassin no he retired because he
00:11:15
fell in love have you not seen the [ __ ] movie hey tired and the only reason he went back is they killed his dog yeah exactly well his wife had died
00:11:22
and they killed the dog that his wife gave him a dog no real assassin retires he was not good oh [ __ ] this guy
00:11:28
anyway what assassins go out they go out like that they don't [ __ ]
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retire retire he's not he's like 50. what does he need was he getting a pension plan you're
00:11:39
still riding high on house party take down the rest of Hollywood
00:11:46
yeah yeah so anyways there's a blind that's fine does that make sense to you no yeah it does sure fine he's oh he's
00:11:54
Asian too yeah so that's why I can make the noise no I don't know where everybody
00:12:00
kills like 50 guys that makes it makes no sense well no he's using the force he's like he's feeling I think it's the
00:12:05
same guy I can kill you right now blind Adam blind his buddy fancy Carlos I can
00:12:11
feel it yeah that was actually really good see see that that was really good yeah
00:12:19
you guys moved in this nice new studio and then you spent uh 13 cents on your
00:12:25
guest chairs like this seems like a real desk hey this guy Hollywood huh
00:12:30
Jesus convert Chrysler sat on that chair last week you know how many Legends have sat in those chairs name name three
00:12:36
okay uh uh uh who else uh Tallulah Kalida
00:12:44
you don't know yeah I do it's like one of the hottest young movie stars out right now who was it was he in Tallulah
00:12:50
khalida is a girl what's she it what to do you can't say two made-up names
00:12:56
is a very famous movie star can I say this I think you're wrong she's in Paul mammoth's new movie uh to
00:13:03
change a name okay dude I watch movies at the level of house party and then nothing else to
00:13:09
change the name was a great movie to change the name was so good all Red's in it by the way Tallulah is not uh
00:13:14
airplane material is my hey and that's fine that's fine gotta get her Ben
00:13:20
Kingsley Paul Rudd uh uh Ben Kingsley Swinton is in it yep Oh I thought you
00:13:26
were talking about people that sat in this chair I was like gee okay I didn't know you got Tallulah Ben
00:13:32
Kingsley to sit in this inflate who else has sat in the chair that we can think of um Bruce Willis Bruce Willis really yeah
00:13:39
B-Dubs yeah after the brain thing well after the brain thing he was confused he thought that he was good
00:13:46
I thought this was a dental office so we thought they were doing Neil brothers podcast yeah a lot of people a lot of famous
00:13:53
people no you know why we got saying that I'm like you know you could be the most famous person that's sat there that's true you could be the most is
00:14:00
that what that's not what I'm fishing for but does it feel good yeah I mean I like it
00:14:06
bad pressure broke it last week when he was on yeah Chrysler broke it yeah and I would you know and you had to go you had
00:14:13
to go back to uh the like Target I don't even know I'm trying to think of a shitty restore than Target there is yeah
00:14:20
to get this store actually we go to those from Amazon those are that's Jeff Bezos handmade though so those are basil Stitch he does a lot of your seven
00:14:26
thousand dollars I take it back well the best part was we opened up the rear uh deflator on that so when Bert got in
00:14:32
here he sat in at the course of the podcast he slowly sunk into nothingness and then broke the braces on the bottom
00:14:39
because he's such a [ __ ] [ __ ] and uh when he was sitting next to Mateo and Mateo kept looking at him like why is he
00:14:46
like and he kept sinking into the thing and he was like did I do it did he assume
00:14:52
that he was just too big for the chair correct yeah of course but which we planned a new immediately and I said
00:14:57
he'll he'll think it's him and they were like I don't know I go he will 100 think he broke the chair well dude I think I'm
00:15:03
gonna break this chair no no you're a City Mini dude you're a tiny little boy don't call that a medium-sized you're a
00:15:10
tiny boy do you think you barely no you went out with him 68. no dude you're way off once one's 182 170. no uh I'm 190
00:15:18
pounds I just went to the doctor really are you really one nine steel there's steel underneath yeah and I just lost like eight pounds I was fatter thank you
00:15:26
how tall are you thank you five foot eight
00:15:39
you're projecting because you're a tiny little man you know the way you say it though is
00:15:44
rude how else do you want me to say it you're projecting because you're you're tiny and little white tiny little yeah
00:15:50
people's tiny and little are two different worlds there's two different words so I'm both tiny and little correct that's [ __ ] up you're tiny
00:15:56
because it's true but don't say Asian tiny here we go okay and little as he's compact you can be a small spaces okay
00:16:04
uh I will say I don't know this story this is a bad story but uh it all it like I was like damn I hope to get that
00:16:10
level someday uh I was like probably 22 or something and we went to greenblatts
00:16:16
me and you who's me me you me and you yeah me and you I remember one other person yeah I don't know it was there uh
00:16:22
I don't know if somebody one other person and uh we were eating at greenblatts and you ordered so many
00:16:28
goddamn beverages you ordered like 20 like not 20 but like legit like six or
00:16:33
seven different beverages let me tell you something Adam and I was nothing's changed that's the best that's how to do
00:16:39
it now I'm that [ __ ] thank you yeah I influence you yeah you did yeah yeah do you why now what now why why do you
00:16:45
think I do that because you want to you want to taste a little variety yeah variety right it's like in my body in my
00:16:51
[ __ ] okay you know when I can [ __ ] right yeah I do black Mexican white
00:16:57
variety baby that makes sense you don't do Black or Mexican they why they don't wipe them
00:17:04
yeah okay sometimes sometimes Asians no I I had Mexican girlfriend Christine
00:17:10
Portillo did you ever meet Christine I don't remember okay 30 years ago it's fine I've had them before that's what
00:17:15
I'm saying please don't call me a racist you are I love vaginas sure of all colors yeah anyway I like variety that's
00:17:21
why I order a bunch of stuff yeah no you do that because you're an addict and you're trying to have balance that's why
00:17:26
he orders all the [ __ ] appetizers the [ __ ] addict we go to the road the drug drug fiend is laughing
00:17:34
we'll get into that right here huh but every time we go to any restaurant he orders literally four or five appetizers
00:17:40
on the menu and he doesn't really touch any of them they just so it's just to waste money to show that he can he can do it and I liked it yeah yeah thank you
00:17:47
saying that I appreciated that and uh I ripped that page out of your your playbook you so you still kind of do it
00:17:53
I still kind of do it so if you're out with a friend right at your like let's say what's a nice restaurant in L.A boa yeah okay well you want to try a bunch
00:18:00
of different things you don't want to just come and you get the spone marrow you look like a guy bone marrow you eat
00:18:05
the bone marrow I have eaten bone marrow I'm not like super no no Adam you're a
00:18:10
bone marrow guy you're a [ __ ] bone marrow guy friend says it you're a bone marrow oh okay I forget where you came from yeah back in Nebraska you were
00:18:17
eating bone marrow when they have two types of caviar do you do the expensive one a little the cheaper one
00:18:22
I would probably try both if they have both I love your attitude we doing Oak and stone this is me
00:18:29
texting the group on the road and Carlos's response is Caesar salad please all Carlos got was a Caesar salad Bobby
00:18:34
got garlicky chicken parm chicken wings Philly cheesecake egg rolls the pretzels barbecue bacon cheeseburger what a swing
00:18:41
the egg rolls into pretzels [Laughter]
00:18:48
I've seen anyone after an egg roll decide they need a full-on he's a carb God this guy's carb God he does not he's
00:18:54
never needed to avoid that bomb yeah baby what do you mean you're a carb God you consume I gave up man he ate a whole
00:19:01
loaf of bread at one of the restaurants we went to they they give you the bread they just kept cutting it up and he just kept taking it and they would fill it
00:19:06
back in and he took it and he ate the whole loaf it was [ __ ] Charles bukosko They're laughing at me
00:19:12
doctor drug fiend I know you're a drug feed yeah I know what you did on the
00:19:17
road man yeah you were there with me I know it was crazy though anyway but you weren't doing any drugs you don't do any
00:19:23
drugs that's right you're a good boy yeah what else did you learn from me that was it yeah
00:19:29
yeah and then I saw your act I'm like I'm not going to take anything okay yeah yeah but I gave you that yeah
00:19:36
yeah that's good Adam how often are you dipping back in a standout dude I haven't been in in so long I I uh what
00:19:43
are we talking how was the last time uh my last was my special in 2018. wow I
00:19:49
did in 2018 I was gonna take 19 off because I had a lot of uh acting work and I was like I don't want to have to
00:19:55
like dip out on weekends yes I just want to chill and then I was like the goal is to get back in 2020 and then the
00:20:01
pandemic hit and then since then nothing do you think you'll go back or no I think so yeah I'm getting the itch now
00:20:07
why why though because it's fun like I look at you guys and I'm like jealous of you on the road it seems like we're
00:20:13
having the most fun yeah it's the most fun I've had in years my real the last okay yeah and there's
00:20:20
no there's nothing in that water no we're having a really good blast yeah
00:20:25
but I'm just saying we're having a real good blast we're a good blast but what I'm saying though is is that um you know
00:20:30
I I look at you and I go wow Adam is really you know you didn't move with dinero all this stuff right it's like if
00:20:35
I was in that position I probably wouldn't do stand up until yeah they'll be in that position that's what I'm saying you've got to keep doing it good
00:20:41
I think no dude he's never gonna be there too well Adam he's never gonna get there
00:20:48
it burns so bad you know you we started wrong today
00:20:53
[ __ ] you dude [ __ ] you dude he's never gonna get there yeah yeah okay well I probably won't you know what though I
00:21:00
want to try this is this is great too and I I think I am going to get back to uh to it at
00:21:07
some point but you should right now is when I should I'm just being [ __ ] lazy like there there's a strike
00:21:12
happening I can't actually yeah there's nothing really going on so is that why the Buddy your buddy flew in he flew in
00:21:18
yeah we're doing a I'm I'm ripping a page out of both your playbooks and we're doing a live podcast are you
00:21:24
really yeah at the Irvine Improv me and uh when when I'm sure this is important our podcast literally on Wednesday
00:21:34
shows in Riverside Friday you should do a guest spot that'd be fun do you want to come do that
00:21:40
I'm gone I'm doing a thing for NASCAR what do you like better
00:21:49
that's why I got this hat made and also you guys wouldn't bring up the movie so I literally had a piece where
00:21:58
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00:23:25
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00:23:32
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00:23:37
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and more displays alone displayed collect your passions what's the NASCAR
00:24:56
thing so it's it's a NASCAR race in like outside San Francisco in [ __ ] Wine
00:25:01
Country I didn't even know they have NASCAR up there oh yeah baby uh and yeah I'm gonna say I'm gonna like drive the
00:25:07
pace car and then I'm gonna say drivers start your engine you're gonna drive the pace car uh wow yeah I think I'm gonna be in the pace car I don't think what's
00:25:14
the what is the pace car now do you know did they tell you no I wonder what they are now because you used to have you
00:25:19
used to have a Camaro didn't you I still do they I think they haven't bought a new car no I think they usually do pace
00:25:25
cars or Camaros I think it's your car look up the new pace car for the net for NASCAR I think it is because I remember
00:25:31
yeah the oh it's a Mustang GT the all-new 2024 Mustang GT is the biggest NASCAR yeah I got it I got the like
00:25:38
season one of Workaholics I bought a brand new uh you know Camaro Super Sport
00:25:43
and then I'm like I'm Gonna Be A Car Guy like once I start making money I'm gonna get a new car every year and then never
00:25:48
did then just catch that car that's great though yeah it's great it's a waste of [ __ ] money I like it you're out of
00:25:55
the whole Workaholics crew guys I'm friends with all you guys you're the only one I like thanks yeah I knew that you're the one that's really got his
00:26:01
values and morals lined up those other guys were scum down yeah but a bunch of dirt bags
00:26:07
no problem do you know any of those other guys yeah one of them's on my podcast which one the long-haired one
00:26:12
all right a good friend of yours yeah it's so great a good friend yeah just
00:26:19
give me the first initial of his first name okay how about this yeah be real though B real Blake Blake Anderson there we go
00:26:26
wow see I love him yeah what's the other guy what's the other guys he's not I don't know because he's never done my
00:26:32
podcast yeah you only know men that do your podcast oh
00:26:38
oh whoa too much yeah slow down way too much I mean turn it down say it again give me another shot at it what's the
00:26:44
other guy's name I only know it feels better that's like NPR now you're absolutely right do it again do
00:26:50
it again uh so you know Adam you know Blake and then Blake Anderson and you know the third guy there can I say it
00:26:56
yeah you could say yeah a starts with an A literally don't know last name home
00:27:03
Aaron Holmes Aaron Holmes God bless Darren Holmes Aaron Holmes yeah yeah
00:27:08
bring up a photo of wait the way he the way he looks around like it's a spelling bee he's like Aaron Holmes Aaron Holmes yeah
00:27:14
there he is that's the third guy from Workaholics Aaron Holmes oh that's cool it's yeah oh my God he went to prison
00:27:21
for a traffic fatality but but anyway um the third guy from Workaholics hey
00:27:28
man um he's never done my podcast I've never never been able to meet him he's a he's a lovely lovely man but if I met
00:27:33
him I would be welcoming we just were at his birthday party yeah we just went to his birthday party no it wasn't invite that's why I was not invited you
00:27:39
actually were invited he told me he said Bobby but he never but he must have changed his number who whose birthday
00:27:45
puzzle was it who's birthday present Aaron Holmes yeah I don't know Aaron Holmes that's what I'm saying but he doesn't have my number
00:27:51
well you do know they present was it it was a birthday party
00:27:56
have you ever seen Workaholics well I thought Eric Griffin was in it and he was played what let me guess smiley
00:28:03
Smiley is his name on the show uh Eric Griffin no no there's a word that everyone yells out Montez Montez Montez
00:28:10
it's close yeah yeah did you ever do an episode of Workaholics no neither did I yeah one two three hmm it is weird I
00:28:19
will say that interesting well who else who's done it if you would have said if you're interested who's done it
00:28:25
everybody you've done it he's done it in Nebraska yeah yeah Uhura uh played uh
00:28:31
Tom Shakura we're better actors than that guy yeah I don't let that guy on the [ __ ] show good you're saying Toms
00:28:37
River is better than him and I at comedy acting comedy acting well he plays it so damn real I feel like we might be going
00:28:43
for the joke so Adam are you telling me that Tom Segura is a better comedy actor than Bobby Lee and me
00:28:49
I'm are you really saying this if you did wrap Bobby in there
00:28:56
[Laughter] I see I tell you I've done stuff you
00:29:03
know I've done things you could be on his IMDb upcoming page on his to come it's look at that six projects this guy
00:29:09
holy moly death and ramen the throwback drugstore June Dugout uh sweet dreams
00:29:15
Borderlands I mean dude this guy I have nothing in development nothing zero a lot that's a lot of stuff dude a girl
00:29:21
doesn't have it that's right hey I know hit him with it pop let him know no it's all right I love Tom he's a great guy oh
00:29:27
[ __ ] Tom Segura I get it though I get you know there's a lot of shows yeah I mean that you know that my friends are
00:29:33
on yeah they wouldn't necessarily call me and use me no no it is it honestly it does hurt though it hurts a lot it hurts
00:29:39
a lot I did 87 episodes of that show there yeah
00:29:47
why look at it the same way as I look at Sunny because I'm friends with those guys yeah
00:29:53
and straight up they were like you'll never be on the show and I was like why and he goes because we're we want the
00:30:00
jokes sure he's like I don't want to [ __ ] bring in another guy to do jokes I was like 15 [ __ ] oh hey hey I put you in game
00:30:08
over man so that's a movie yeah but you but you made me do it with Adam Ray I
00:30:13
couldn't do it solo yeah you were like I'll have you but you gotta be in with Adam and I was like well can I do a used
00:30:18
Adam right and not me in one of your projects dude he was playing a cop yeah
00:30:24
I think you could pull out pull off let me say something put your hands up it wasn't it was never going to work yeah
00:30:30
don't go ground I'll stop on running uh no one let me say something okay the guy George Floyd
00:30:37
he died right oh my God no rest in peace yeah bringing up George Floyd because
00:30:43
his partner the cops what's the Michael Schiffer what's his name yeah there he is look at he's a cop
00:30:50
what what are we even looking at these are the cops with the George Floyd murder and look at the far right and so
00:30:55
you're hoping if they do a bio pick no I'm just saying that you're saying you're saying that there are no Asian
00:31:00
cars you weren't saying I'm not saying no Asian cops I'm saying you specifically who you are yeah as a
00:31:08
person yeah you should say my body type
00:31:30
I'm just saying mind you okay that there are people that look like me uh-huh hence
00:31:36
sure I think there's a height requirement yeah let me say something about this guy all right I saw all the
00:31:42
videos George Floyd I love you Preston peace okay and this [ __ ] guy right I could
00:31:48
have done what he did time out but if this was a biopic if they remade this really what Comics would play these
00:31:54
people oh [ __ ] great so I think the first one would be Kyle down again no I don't know
00:31:59
Andy Hayes and he is all right who's the second guy oh It's gotta be is he black
00:32:05
he is yeah but we have to go full black on it from our neighbors I think we
00:32:11
should go full black three more neighbors two of our neighbors and the third guy is obviously Anthony jeselnick yeah Jeselnik and then for if you say
00:32:18
[ __ ] I'll play him [Laughter]
00:32:25
you know what's so funny if they had a casting and you probably would [ __ ] campaign for it and you'd get it and
00:32:30
you'd [ __ ] piss me off man I don't think I don't think I could get away with that any if it were like 15 years ago I'd get that who would play that
00:32:36
Shang Wang could play him actually no watch this
00:32:42
we'll call you little hammy we'll call you not real little not real not too much
00:32:48
can we put that's good no Jesus Christ thank you can they name your special the little hammy little hammy yeah yeah
00:32:55
because you are like a little piece of ham and you do like little hammy stuff what happened to Tiny tiny little ham yeah yeah tiny hammy
00:33:01
yeah tiny little hand [ __ ] bastards that's what we were on uh on uh the podcast that I do with the guys this is
00:33:08
important uh uh we were talking about like types of food that we would be and
00:33:14
like dirt is trail mix because he's like you know you don't really he is trail mix yeah it's like he don't really he's
00:33:20
not that useful But like everyone you want a handful of it sometimes uh once in a while it's okay Blake is like
00:33:25
guacamole because he's like two Californian more like you get it yeah yeah anywhere else they're like yeah
00:33:31
it's fine what are you uh damn you're ham yeah I was just like and they all screamed it at once
00:33:37
oh wow you are having a little piece of [ __ ] all right do us what's Bobby and what what am I what's about what food is
00:33:43
Bobby if Bobby was a food uh and let me say something okay [Laughter]
00:33:50
I'm gonna give you the go-ahead yeah right because let's get real yeah I
00:33:56
wouldn't be meatloaf no right I wouldn't be um matzo ball no I don't think so I
00:34:04
wouldn't be a burrito right so let's go I'll go
00:34:10
ahead I'll tell you what it is like I mean like a big old like a big thick juicy Little Nugget of an egg roll
00:34:16
that's right yeah yeah vegetarian or beef no it's Porky
00:34:24
so a Porky [ __ ] egg roll Porky egg yeah yeah yeah yeah
00:34:29
okay good hammy thank you I think you know what I think you are to me yeah you're you're a prime rib you know why
00:34:35
why because because prime rib is very good everybody likes prime rib but it's fatty and it's not good for you in the
00:34:42
long run so for short periods of time prime rib it's great and everybody likes it and the sauce is good the Jew dude
00:34:48
this is you're fatty fatty literally exactly what dirge explained what I was yeah her name is like everybody likes
00:34:54
ham but yes you don't want that much hand and you shouldn't have too much you shouldn't have too much of it it's gonna
00:35:00
haunt you at night what about you I feel like you were dried something yeah uh
00:35:05
toast yeah yeah maybe toast yeah something dry though I'm an English muffin stale cracker yeah just like an
00:35:12
old stale cracker yeah you know what I am Ritz it's fine the cracker it's great
00:35:17
it's fine but it's in you don't you don't need it but it's fine well I feel like a Saltine cracker and this is maybe
00:35:24
a little too on the nose but I think like I did a girlfriend uh I feel like you'd be like uh like a real thick thick
00:35:32
piece of deep dish oh yeah where you know it's like it's good and Everyone
00:35:38
likes it and it's like it's good but like you the same same with the hand you don't want too much you know what I
00:35:43
really am I'm beer cheese I'm the color of beer cheese same thing beer cheese is good you shouldn't have it no you
00:35:50
shouldn't have too much of it why do you have Asian eyes I've always want to ask you that
00:35:56
you saw the photo yeah yeah but he's my father uh no uh you're right have people
00:36:03
said that you have Asian eyes yeah yeah oh yeah yeah oh yeah oh yeah are you are
00:36:08
you mixed with some we'd have to talk to my mother but no yeah yeah you should see his parents are the whitest people
00:36:14
you've ever really like there's no Asian because literally if you put a ninja mask on them you'd be like oh there's a Japanese dude cover your mouth and let's
00:36:21
see yeah is that crazy yeah you look a little Asian like that like Sub-Zero
00:36:27
cover your mouth and look what it looks like it's almost the same thing I might look Russian you go ahead some people think I look Russian hold on
00:36:35
no still yeah still still Korean yeah still pretty Korean yeah you know what gives it away
00:36:41
no still you know gives it away the little tuft of chin hair that you've got oh really even why don't they die I
00:36:47
always I want to get surgery where I'm like I Widener no yeah I'm gonna try shut up well you got to do it live my
00:36:54
mom did it really you know my mom did it I can tell you can't how do you can tell because she looks awake she looks
00:37:01
yeah she looks awake yeah she's always like she pulled the greatest thing you
00:37:06
know there was a clip from the show that went viral of me saying I'm Bobby mom and crossing my eyes and we did it in
00:37:11
Phoenix where she lived now are you proud of that oh yeah yeah all right oh yeah one of my one of my best moments on
00:37:17
this show I'm Bobby mom like it's one of my favorite yeah people yelling out at
00:37:22
me in the street it's crazy they make shirts they make shirts yeah yeah but about I said it on the show because
00:37:28
people will yell at us at the live show and I said okay I'm about me Mom and I did it and then all year from upstairs is no I'm a Barbie the mom yeah came out
00:37:37
dude and they went [ __ ] nuts Standing Ovation she has Standing Ovation and she went out there for like two seconds and
00:37:43
realized she doesn't like it anymore and then just walked off okay before she was cocky said I could handle any Quran I
00:37:48
don't care you know she didn't know it was like 4 000 people that was gonna be like 300 people yeah right and as soon
00:37:54
as she walked out all the [ __ ] the blood from her face left and she was shell shocked she wasn't shocked you
00:38:01
could tell she was like I did not sign up for this this is the dumb I'm [ __ ] this and immediately it was like okay
00:38:06
okay and ran off and then she disappeared yeah we were all like where's Bobby's mom we want to say hi she literally left has she ever done
00:38:12
anything like on stage she was on Mad TV she did about four sketches oh she did the bit you know the bit uh oh hot dog
00:38:19
that was her [ __ ] you dude no she did four my dad did it come did a
00:38:26
couple sketches they used to get um residual checks shut up yeah it was crazy how much money I make nine Central
00:38:32
I can put in the bank dad he wouldn't make a lot but they couldn't believe they kept sending the money
00:38:38
what's the lowest what's the what's the residual check that just won't go away for you that you'll get do you ever know
00:38:44
like what's the thing you did 20 years ago that still pays I still get paid off of uh Samantha who which was like the
00:38:50
very first thing I ever did look up Adam Divine Samantha who I need to see that what was that a TV show it's Christina
00:38:56
Applegate and I'm like I don't even know where the [ __ ] it is anymore whoa look at that cutie patootie well that's not
00:39:03
that's just from but yeah it was with me and Christina Applegate and I play her like assistant on the show and I I did
00:39:09
like three episodes and how was Christina Applegate cool ah so cool yeah it's really really cool I
00:39:15
still get like a dollar a year from Harold and Kumar is that right yeah yeah that's big money
00:39:20
do you ever get like like low end money like I I still 50 cents I still get like
00:39:25
30 it'll it'll be like 30 checks from from punked from MTV reselling punked oh
00:39:33
eight thousand I remember when you got that I was like jealousy you like low-key I was like well let me say a
00:39:38
story then I'll tell you you want to talk not jealous but I was like proud of something that that happened to you
00:39:43
because we were friends I remember so vividly and I have a bad memory you came
00:39:49
into the Improv I was at the bar this is back when the Improv was the [ __ ] yeah and the old Lounge everyone was kicking
00:39:54
it I love that phone and you know what in the corner it was like like Apatow and Sandler people were like hanging out
00:39:59
I was like it was such a crazy night and Adam came in with Blake long curly hair boy that you like I like them and he
00:40:07
said to me this is my boy Blake Anderson he introduced me to him and I said hey he's like Santino's a buddy and I said
00:40:13
you do stand up and and you go you caught you before you can say anything you go no but he's a phenomenal comedian and writer comic he's we're making a
00:40:19
show together and I was like oh cool that's awesome and I was like what show and you're like we're doing this show
00:40:25
for Comedy Central blah blah and you kind of were wouldn't shut up about it well no no but you were kind of vague
00:40:30
about it like don't uh you know like it's always there's always a moment when you're like I don't know man it's this
00:40:35
thing we're doing with a [ __ ] whatever you don't know if it's going to be real or not right you're like it's my friend it's cool it's my buddy and I was
00:40:42
like good to meet you man he's like yeah I hope to see you around I was like yeah me too and then we did I did a spot I left one of this you did a spot left and
00:40:48
then it was like I mean it's like out of a movie that I remember sitting at home
00:40:54
seeing the previews for everything and I was like holy [ __ ] [ __ ] that all came true I was so stoked I mean I remember I
00:41:00
think I texted you back then like yeah it was the guy that was your boy from the thing and it worked it was like a it
00:41:06
was cool uh to see like when when Workaholics came out like who my actual friends were in comedy and those that
00:41:13
like secretly hated you yeah which was everything in Hollywood you literally
00:41:18
see when you get something the real people that are like people like we're genuinely like oh man I'm so happy for
00:41:23
you and then people were like pretty cool
00:41:30
Andrew's going on
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00:41:53
like I love it you can either have simple uh tours or extreme and Adventurous Adventures it's so fun the
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last time I used Viator when I was out of town I did a nice little vacation hiking experience with I very much
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00:42:34
my I adore I'm happy for you what what you've gotten better with texting you really
00:42:39
are you're learning to respond better you're learning to uh not just [ __ ]
00:42:45
thumbs up a thing you actually will say something back so I'm proud of you I really am I called you today sometimes
00:42:51
you answer the phone in a panic which I don't like you go whoa whoa whoa whoa because every time people call me I feel like it's something happened but it's
00:42:57
not because it's still like you guys work together I feel like you should
00:43:03
probably expect some phone calls like have I called you out of the blue right someone died
00:43:09
I know right right Blake let me tell you something and I have to be the one to
00:43:15
call you or call you that guy that was on your podcast once that you couldn't hardly remember his name died we gave
00:43:21
you Clues you're the good guide anyways yeah yeah I have a list yeah I'm on the bees if anybody you know you and I know
00:43:27
dies I promise I'll text you I won't call really yeah like I'll go Carlos
00:43:32
died I'll text you no no don't text me that
00:43:40
no no let's be real let's be real for a second okay with the frowny face yeah no the smiley
00:43:48
one for him yeah you're like he's horny what let's come up with a word where I know I
00:43:55
have to call you because it's something there's a death because you're serious yeah so like something like you know pineapple or something some of that no
00:44:01
no that's that's to like swing yeah the swingers Oh that's oh that okay um eggplant no that's for sure that's penis
00:44:08
that's penis okay um maybe some sauce thumbs down emoji no that could be
00:44:15
anything yeah what about just three X's yeah triple x triple all right so three
00:44:20
I don't think I want to watch a movie Triple X yeah so three X's then I'll know someone died and I'll call because I don't want death relayed in a [ __ ]
00:44:27
text how about Lexus we'll use like beeper code remember beeper code you know what I mean like 9-1-1 means means you need to call me immediately yeah
00:44:34
okay what it was not in one way like four on one means I've got something to tell you but 911 is death 9-1-1 will say
00:44:39
his death if I if okay I feel this it just needs to be a phone call right I
00:44:45
know no because he'll never [ __ ] answer I won't pick up the phone that's why if he texts me then even if he calls you multiple because no one answers
00:44:52
right away hardly yeah you know so my friend like my friend I could call him six times in a row it wouldn't [ __ ]
00:44:58
matter oh but I see all your calls I'm playing yeah I'm playing Elder ring and I'm going I'm in the middle of this like
00:45:05
we were supposed to leave we were gonna we were leaving Orlando and I was like you know where is the guy and then I
00:45:10
have I go down to the front desk I call he doesn't answer oh you pissed me off so bad I walk upstairs I knock on the
00:45:15
door he goes I know I know already [ __ ] a half hour late
00:45:21
but you know what you said that pissed me off that morning though what did I say that [ __ ] made you mad when you were a half hour later we're sitting in
00:45:26
the car waiting for you you know it's funny when you've when your little drug hyena laughs
00:45:32
frenzied your little frenzy to laugh right I like I haven't you have another thing coming all right okay go ahead
00:45:38
nothing I have nothing but my saying have you guys ever fought him and I yes we've had
00:45:44
some we've had some moments on tour oh [ __ ] okay yeah we've yeah we hit a big hiccup on the road attention we hit a
00:45:50
hiccup on the road but no fight but it could could come to it yeah it could come to block I love him all right that's not like a real fight it's
00:45:57
playful yeah so then you kiss and make up do it come here and give him a kiss
00:46:02
and make up give him a kiss just kiss your friend dude your guest wants a kiss you're not
00:46:07
gonna kiss for your guest I feel like that's your homie for kiss your home dog for for for for good measure yeah
00:46:14
see thank you was that that hard yeah it was nice beautiful that was a beautiful moment dude his face your friend he's so
00:46:20
grossed out he literally was like I gotta get back yeah
00:46:25
everyone in Hollywood is gay he just unzips his pants what you said to me that morning what
00:46:32
did I say see your attitude now I don't get it out you said this happens all the time it
00:46:39
does it doesn't Carlos multiple times you're [ __ ] late that was the second time during the tour that I was I got up
00:46:46
late second time how it happened in New York you were related when we were going to the [ __ ] the meeting set you were late or the Pod you were late for that
00:46:51
no five months ago you're bringing that up it stays it all stays out of the
00:46:58
millions of [ __ ] mornings you put you you two two incidences three all right and then you put it in the text don't do
00:47:03
it I'm gonna [ __ ] do it more now don't tell me what to do kid don't tell me what to do I'm older than you don't
00:47:09
call me kid not but not in Social standards you're not in chronological age you're older but not in Social
00:47:14
standards socially you're way [ __ ] younger than me you're a child compared to me so I haven't seen this podcast uh
00:47:20
all that much this is the premise right you guys are bad friends is that the uh
00:47:27
no it's just like I I you know you just you know it makes me mad yeah you make me [ __ ] mad about what I'm so good no
00:47:33
you're fat I'm the best no you're not yeah I know bother me listen just don't do
00:47:41
tone when you in the morning just oh then the other other morning you knocked on my door and you're just waiting there in the hallway Yeah you're late you're
00:47:47
happy because you that night why are you late the night before he's still relieving at two piano what a reasonable
00:47:53
hour no it is Bobby like as the sober one thank you should be a little on time
00:48:00
yeah [ __ ] you yeah saying no no no no no no no you know what my friend there's not a whole lot of other excuses I'm
00:48:06
proud of you yes but right now you're crossing a [ __ ] liner okay no you're not oh you're trying not eyes Okay okay
00:48:13
so what I'm gonna say to you right now is zip your lips
00:48:18
don't say this all right cross your rip yeah so you that night at the bar you go you
00:48:26
know we don't take oven to 4 30 so we can leave at 2 30 you said no I said when you were drunk why were we all in the car too then and I wouldn't say that
00:48:33
he did say that remember that I really yeah because you're drunk you're drunk frenzy I wasn't drunk I was was I drunk
00:48:39
that night I wasn't Not only was it I woke up I had a beer I had a beer I'm
00:48:44
not drunk on a beer I woke up I went to the [ __ ] gym I went swimming I went for a long walk and then still jerked
00:48:50
off took a [ __ ] did some [ __ ] work took a shower got ready packed up the [ __ ] car and then at 2 p.m you
00:48:57
weren't there because I got got up at two because I thought 2 30. [ __ ] off let's move on Adam yeah Adam thanks for
00:49:04
coming on the show Outlaws is out right now
00:49:09
Outlaws are good let me say this recanting all the fun that we've just had July 7th me and this guy couldn't
00:49:15
couldn't be closer now I like it yeah but because I love you so much and we've been having fun and all
00:49:23
the [ __ ] all the [ __ ] aside July 7th Outlaws is going to be out and if you don't go watch it you know what's gonna
00:49:30
happen Adam tell him dude we won't we won't be friends anymore wait you and I won't be friends if
00:49:35
people don't go see this that's a dark twist the only one you're using as a promoter I feel like I don't know if you
00:49:41
should use this this is it yeah yeah okay it's coming out in
00:49:48
theaters no I mean just watch the goddamn trailer yeah dude where's the streaming where it's Netflix great it's
00:49:55
not streaming dude you just have to buy it there's got there's guys in in Washington Square Park selling it yeah reel to reel you got to buy a reel to
00:50:01
reel I don't want to confuse people it's on Netflix yeah yeah my favorite corporate
00:50:09
Overlord God bless you and uh not Paramount plus it's Netflix it's Netflix baby favorite go on Netflix and you got
00:50:15
to watch it not Netflix it'll be uh watch the trailer yeah I think you guys would like to I've seen it I already saw it when you sent when you sent me the
00:50:21
link uh or I mean you sent me the flyer I watched the trailer already also the trailer was being pushed around the internet a lot I saw it multiple times
00:50:27
come up on my page so it was a success and I gotta tell you man he is so [ __ ] hot
00:50:33
yeah he pierces so hot it's like annoying you're like what is this so so cool and he like we we were like yeah we
00:50:39
think your Irish accent is cool just just do that and it's the best how old is he how old is Pierce Bros it's like
00:50:46
65. something like that no [ __ ] hot he is still it's like a little Annoying to be honest with you yeah and uh 70.
00:50:52
yeah he's 70. look at great he uh he doesn't work out I'm like how do you and
00:50:57
he's like I don't I just don't work out I'm like well do you like surf or something like how do you stay so lean
00:51:04
and you're like I just I don't know I just him so here's my problem with this because you're proving a point that I
00:51:09
had a couple days ago in my mind yeah you know have we been visited by
00:51:15
aliens yeah did they stay I think so yeah and who are they Pierce
00:51:21
Brosnan yeah so I've worked with a lot of aliens I tend to work with like really really hot boys you like aliens I
00:51:28
love Zac Efron f is let me tell you something I just work with him he's an alien yeah without a doubt 100 uh he
00:51:34
used to go in the bay before we'd leave he'd go down into the into the basement of the house and I would just hear
00:51:39
humming and like little tinging noises and then he'd come out and he'd go all done and then we'd leave and I wouldn't
00:51:44
ask what it is but wait look look now look at me holy [ __ ] wow Pierce Pierce
00:51:51
something here hello oh Bobby oh my God you almost had me fool thank you can you
00:51:57
do a good British accent or is it offensive I'm Pierce Bronson yeah Pierce Bronson hello hello
00:52:04
no this is Pierce Bronson what's his name your Pierce Bros what's his name Pierce Bronson is you what's his name
00:52:11
Chris Brosnan Brosnan bronzeman yep exactly oh same thing hello I'm Pierce
00:52:17
Bronson that's right thank you pierce where are you from Diablo seven you're from 007 that's what I played
00:52:25
James Bond whoa hello so Pierce can I ask you a couple of questions Cheerio
00:52:30
you like Cheerios no just what's your favorite uh Dry Cereal
00:52:37
Cheerio oh man easy opportunity to say checks or anything else really missing a comedy Loop there no no because I went
00:52:44
you know yes end it that's yeah I just yes
00:52:50
you know yeah yeah directly right I went direct you dude yeah anyway what comedy
00:52:55
is a b itch you just went a b right to C
00:53:01
I know so anyway you know similar in many ways I gotta say the more I think
00:53:07
about it the more I do think you share a lot but do this you do this see what it looks good yeah it doesn't look good yeah I think
00:53:13
it looks like you have a headache I do have a headache right now let me Veer oh my God oh my God that's [ __ ] oh my
00:53:20
God you look like you're so good at that you look like you know you're like hold that post you know you look like a guy at the
00:53:26
beach who forgot his sunglasses who has a like an ocular migraine who's pretending like it's not bothering him
00:53:32
so much but you're like [ __ ] it I'm not gonna I'm she look miserable because your wife was like just bring your Shades like I don't need my shade to
00:53:38
over cat and you're doing this whole you look like one of those uh engineers at Chernobyl you [ __ ] up yeah and you're
00:53:44
just like but like you're gonna die but like hot though but like hot though yeah
00:53:49
of course yeah yeah of course what do you mean a hot engineer yeah like yeah [ __ ] yeah all right they're not all ugly
00:53:55
yeah thanks Bob yeah he's got a cutie it's gonna be a cutie in there I don't know I don't know what they look like you got it man what do you mean yeah
00:54:01
there could be there were engineers at the [ __ ] thing hottest they [ __ ] up let's do hottest NASA engineer hottest
00:54:07
NASA engineer let's see if you know there's uh some because there's there's a lot Through The Years so there's some
00:54:13
hotties for sure okay the hottest lady astronauts go back go back go back what are you doing hold on
00:54:19
the hottest lady it was too sexy it broke the internet all right Judith Resnick would you uh what I what go to
00:54:26
space with her yeah that's Trevor Trevor Wallace's mom no Trevor Resnick is that the Nine Inch Nails guy
00:54:34
oh man [Laughter]
00:54:41
that's that's uh Mike Dyson's wife the guy who meant the vacuum invented the vacuum whoa I didn't know that very
00:54:47
smart family all right let's see go to the go back here we go here we go search the NASA girl who wore a diaper that killed her husband her boyfriend or
00:54:54
husband right who's her boyfriend I think maybe boyfriend Lisa Marie Nowak yeah okay this was this tell me about
00:55:00
this I don't know anything about it tell me about the story this girl she killed uh another astronaut that she was in
00:55:06
love with I think there was an affair yeah affair right yeah she traveled across the country wore a diaper so she
00:55:12
didn't have to stop for fear poop breaks to go murder this is her astronaut brain she's smart enough to know like I need
00:55:18
to get there in x amount of time if I stopped to use the restroom five or six times right I won't make it so I'm gonna
00:55:25
strap this diaper on [ __ ] and piss myself the entire way there wow and then murdered him uh I would take the diaper
00:55:32
she drove 950 miles in a diaper holy moly and I'm gonna say something right now Macon the next time we're driving
00:55:39
far you were in a [ __ ] diaper we had to pull over for this loser within 50 you know it's like we got to keep pulling over to this guy this is why I
00:55:45
wanted to talk I wanted to bring uh your guys's Road Road
00:55:52
I don't know where else yeah are you doing a space movie Next is that why you threw this up
00:55:58
are you in that Tom Cruise where he's living Tom Cruise is living in space right now you do know that right do you guys know this no he's in space as we
00:56:05
speak he's filming uh a movie in space uh the first civilian look there it says
00:56:10
he's there now apparently he's there now shooting stuff right now wow dude
00:56:15
incredible I think that's this guy is genuinely the greatest movie star we've
00:56:20
ever had it really is we've ever had did you see the scenes from Mission Impossible the [ __ ] cycle yeah I mean
00:56:25
well that one that we did it nine times six times but nine fifteen okay just
00:56:31
give me nine twelve he did it 76 times but that one to me I'm like I would do
00:56:36
that one everyone was like oh man that one
00:56:47
yeah I would okay I did see it I did okay yeah I never even I've never done a
00:56:54
motorcycle I have and so I would you know I would not make the line you would hit the right he would help you'd fall
00:56:59
down the motorcycle I bought a motorcycle when I was trying to be a Hollywood bad boy for a while like so eight years ago something like that
00:57:05
where is it now and uh I sold it yeah I I because I live up in the hills and I was coming down my hill and it was like
00:57:12
a hairpin turn and I crashed this bike all the [ __ ] time and I of course I ate it again coming down this hill
00:57:18
because I'd get nervous trying to take the and I just ate [ __ ] dropped the bike and was so embarrassed uh you know that
00:57:25
that that I just dropped the bike and there was this construction they were doing construction on this house and I
00:57:32
was so embarrassed that I dropped the bike in front of these guys that I just looked and I ripped my helmet off I
00:57:37
looked into this bush and go [ __ ] squirrels did you really yeah except for the
00:57:45
squirrel's fault like I was like and then it's time to get into the bush as if the squirrel made me drop my
00:57:50
motorcycle wow imagine if one of the construction workers came over he's like I know about that [ __ ] yeah piece of
00:57:55
[ __ ] he's done that every day to me yeah this is his mother he just holds up
00:58:01
I think you're gonna say you threw the through the keys at one of the construction workers keep it took the [ __ ] bike I wish I did something that
00:58:07
cool I know but I was like so ashamed that I picked up the bike like it was like 800 pounds they're heavy as [ __ ]
00:58:13
yeah I'm on the side of a hill I lifted it no problem just with like the embarrassment adrenaline embarrassment
00:58:19
rage so let me say based on the story you just told you cannot jump off a jump with a parachute yeah why can't I
00:58:25
because you're you dropped it on a turn in the hill dude you're gonna drop it as soon as you go off the [ __ ] lip with
00:58:31
the thing I know but you wouldn't make I think it was you'd hit something before that
00:58:36
outside shoot dude you've never done that how do
00:58:43
you know whoa whoa do that again do it again that's literally perfect yeah that's how you guys hear any and you
00:58:49
have to do that first of all both of you guys are wrong it's right here yeah yeah it's down here well dude I can't get around this [ __ ] well that's gonna be
00:58:56
a problem when you're out there too yeah you think that's just now that's what happens but have you ever Skydive Adam yes you have yeah oh have you no see so
00:59:05
who are we gonna believe can do this no I didn't say I could I said you can't okay I think we're sipping a little
00:59:12
haterade right now because I did some crazy [ __ ] okay I hosted Shark Week multiple times as he hosted Shark Week
00:59:19
Tom Cruise no he hasn't you know now that I think about it he has not yeah so I can do all his okay you know what by
00:59:24
the way this is our little shark week we did actually bring you in here to pitch you something yeah Bobby have a little invention okay yeah are you willing to
00:59:31
hear the pitch
00:59:36
what are we singing hello Adam uh my partner Bobby Lee and I am Andrew Santino we're here Adam it's Hello shark
00:59:42
Hello shark we're we're here presenting a product hello Cheerio this is my
00:59:48
partner Pierce Bronson sorry this is my partner Pierce Bronson yeah we're here
00:59:54
looking for eight million dollars a half a percent in our company in our company
01:00:00
and our company is called Cheerio I think there is a company shark
01:00:07
do you like cereal but it's spelled yeah with four e's
01:00:13
we've invested four times the normal amount of vitamin E inside of it
01:00:19
ND yes Pierce all of the vitamins this is a vitamin
01:00:24
heavy cereal called cheerio [Music] are you interested uh I think I'm gonna
01:00:33
pass this off tomorrow Cuban yeah I think Cubans Cuban Aura I mean Spanish
01:00:38
whatever Spanish or Mexican yeah yeah I've seen your valuation is a little yeah yeah oh
01:00:46
really last year we made sixty seven hundred dollars I think we're on track this year to make tens of Millions
01:00:53
my favorite is when they just guess what they might be making oh yeah when they're like uh we're on track everything the way we wanted to yeah
01:01:01
it's gonna be a 120 million dollar company next year and you're like yeah if everything goes the way you want it
01:01:06
to sure then my company is going to be Google then I'm gonna be a billionaire and I
01:01:13
never bought it that always bothered me I knew a girl that did that by the way that did that show in fact her brother
01:01:18
is the guy that created Rick and Morty not Justin Royal and then oh yeah she made
01:01:24
like a clothing company went on there uh and I was and I didn't want anybody to buy it not out of spite but out of
01:01:30
like you can't have two super successful siblings yeah it's got to be one well that's like David Spade and then Kate
01:01:35
Spade uh uh aren't they related in some well her she she married his brother
01:01:40
yeah she married in also rest in peace okay okay
01:01:48
thanks for bringing it up can we do a moment of sounds for Adam DeVine not knowing about um yeah yeah
01:02:10
let me just say something about that Asian cop though I've never said this before is if you look at all the photos you're
01:02:17
on his side I knew I say it I felt it here's why I hate him right
01:02:25
right yeah you can't believe it yeah what he's murdering a guy he Asian guy what's
01:02:32
going on but it is true what is going on yeah do your job stop that what if his
01:02:37
job was what's going on guy they leave the precinct they're like and and you're the killer you're you're the
01:02:45
uh the bag you're the lookout and you yeah yeah what's going on guys hear what's going on yeah he's like a
01:02:52
practice perfect get out there buddy hate that guy yeah he's in prison one of the worst
01:02:57
guys but if you get offered to play him in a film you're doing it no but I would change the line maybe
01:03:04
what's happening what's happening that's better right right so like making my own or whatever yeah I'll improvise yeah
01:03:10
yeah man you're always dude thank you good improviser yeah you're a good improviser taking another line that's
01:03:17
already and changing it just ever so slightly
01:03:24
do you ever have a moment with your wife where you're talking about you know like
01:03:29
something that you're passionate about like a thing that you like like oh man this new project or whatever and she just
01:03:35
gives you something and she's just like when do we have to turn in the thing oh all the time it's always like booking a
01:03:41
flight for my mom to come visit or something yeah I can't tell her literally last night I was like talking
01:03:47
about the trailer for The Outlaws July 7th only on Netflix uh I was talking about like how well the
01:03:55
trailer's done how many people are watching the trailer how it's everywhere and uh and Chloe's like
01:04:01
so I was thinking get in the 945 flight mom and I'm like
01:04:09
I'm like we have to talk about me always I had a freak out moment just today
01:04:14
though and I it's like with your wife yeah and she said sorry but I was like bummed because I had this thing that
01:04:19
I've kind of been working on and I was like and it came to me in the shower and I was like holy [ __ ] because I I was
01:04:25
like I was toying on this one thing I had to hiccup on this idea and I was like I just don't that's not I don't know if that's gonna work and it came to
01:04:31
me and I get out of the shower and I was like I've got it I was like but you have to hear this and she's like what's up and she's not she wasn't doing anything
01:04:37
I wasn't like interrupting her and she's like what's going on I'm like this and this and I want to call this and remember when I was about it and then
01:04:43
she goes you have a booger and I was like what what she goes you
01:04:48
have a book you have a booger I've been like I almost didn't hear anything that you just said dude my soul fell into my [ __ ] yeah
01:04:56
like I have a Booker I just told you like I thought well wipe your nose yeah but before you do a speech I just got
01:05:02
out of the shower well then it's supposed to wash all the boogers off no no I put I so when boogers come out I
01:05:09
put them on the wall I put them right back in before I leave yeah yeah all right technique yeah
01:05:14
that bumped you out huh it I could see that it was one of those moments where you're like when you're living with whether it's your significant other
01:05:20
partner boyfriend girlfriend whatever like there's moments where you're like I gotta share this with you and then they're like and then did you want did
01:05:27
you not want chicken cacciatore and you're like oh [ __ ]
01:05:32
oh uh Yo cool neat awesome that's I'm glad that worked but
01:05:39
when they do that thing where they're like it's your mom do you think your mom would want to land earlier in the day and you're like wow okay I guess [ __ ] me
01:05:46
I guess [ __ ] me but it hit me hard today I'm sorry I wanted to bone you were in
01:05:52
the middle of that story I wanted to just talk about how dumb I look right now crossing my legs and do the thing
01:05:57
that your wife did to you I thought you were gonna be like you have a booger yeah uh no you look good crossing your
01:06:03
legs by the way it's it's weird how when you get older it's so comfortable it's so comfortable now do you pull your nuts
01:06:09
up or do you let them go are you are you [ __ ] and balls between the legs are they yeah they're up high you ball jumped yeah you bulge up don't you I love it
01:06:16
yeah when you cross your legs you bulge off I don't know what you're talking about when you cross your legs like he's doing right now do you pull your [ __ ]
01:06:22
and balls up up above above the folder or do you let the nuts hang down low I let it squeeze between the thighs right
01:06:28
that's that's so you do know about it I crush it like right now are your balls is your [ __ ] and balls up above Austin
01:06:34
what are your [ __ ] and balls doing this see ones but one for me almost always goes down below really
01:06:40
yeah I always have one because I have one loose nut see it let's see it let's see it let's see
01:06:47
so it went down below no that thing's way up high you have one nut between your thighs
01:06:54
both the sack is in between yeah yeah show them turn and show me just me I don't want anybody else yeah Close Your
01:07:00
Eyes Adam right so your [ __ ] is up above but your balls are down below
01:07:06
it's Crush you're one of your nuts or your nuts are crushed show Adam your penis he loves to see I'd love to see her
01:07:12
I'd love to see your penis show them yeah well cross your legs cross your legs and show them show them with your
01:07:17
legs crossed look yeah I don't want to see your [ __ ] no show them with your legs crossed like a professional I don't
01:07:23
know how to show it cross your legs cross your legs like a professional and now show him
01:07:30
show them your fun little penis yeah I've seen your penis I think a dozen times so yeah yeah it's awesome yeah who
01:07:38
hasn't who has it [ __ ] you I uh
01:07:43
uh it is fun I I had my penis out in the movie game over man on my penis it was
01:07:49
your real dick right that one was my real dick that's so cool and uh that's fun to have your [ __ ] out there so it's
01:07:55
out there so because I was like I don't really care uh and then I did the movie jexy and it's like this is the phone and
01:08:03
they they're like ah we're gonna I do like take nude photos and there I was gonna it was gonna send it to everybody
01:08:09
it was gonna come up on people's phones and I'm like do you want me to do my dick I just did it in a movie it's kind of weird if I do it again and they're
01:08:15
like we have a [ __ ] double don't worry about it we'll just use their [ __ ] and I'm like okay a way worse [ __ ] okay women got it like
01:08:23
a much worse ugly [ __ ] you mean ugly what was wrong with this it was small and it also wasn't that good looking it was like gray but that's comedy right
01:08:30
isn't that part of the comedy it wasn't like it wasn't so bad that it's comedy sure it was just like a little worse
01:08:35
like Ken jong's penis and hangover whoa it was one of those moments where I was like this is so funny but also it's real
01:08:43
so I got sad afterwards uh yeah to me it was like I would I made me like Ken Jong
01:08:49
even more I was like sad he betrayed our people [Laughter]
01:08:56
well he just he betrayed our people it just it's a shame that we'll never wash away
01:09:01
can we look up Adam Devine's [ __ ] in uh game over man because I'd love to see your car there's a gift there's a gift
01:09:07
now that is just my [ __ ] flapping back and forth so that's cool people send that to me see that's from jexy that's
01:09:14
uh no the yeah that's jexy the other one is uh yeah but it looks like they
01:09:20
they've covered it so well there's got to be an uncensored yeah yeah I've been gonna ask you guys a question real quick
01:09:26
please I say a24 is doing a movie right and it's like broke back Martin too right it's me you and Andrew it's
01:09:33
brokeback Martin yeah Steve Martin Steve Martin Steve Martin yeah it's me Martin
01:09:38
Lawrence all the Martins yeah yeah yeah there's my [ __ ] like my literal wait
01:09:43
[ __ ] it's on a website called leaked meat.com there was a scene in this movie broke
01:09:51
go down a little bit I want to let's see broke back Martin there's your dick dude right there
01:09:57
there's your dick right there yeah catch it some air there it is yeah there it is that's
01:10:02
pretty good yeah yeah it's not bad it's a nice regular regular sized dick yeah yeah anyway
01:10:09
um all right everyone do us a favor yeah admin Divine is one of my oldest uh and dearest friends and uh he has a movie
01:10:16
out that you have to watch on Netflix so please go watch that uh we it would really mean a lot to US bank that's
01:10:21
called The Outlaws and uh we love you and if we do a little secret show in here you better you better do it you better promise yep that was so fun to
01:10:28
have you on buddy love you buddy awesome guys thank you for being a bad friend [Music]
01:10:38
no [Music]
