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hey bad friends bad friends we are on tour we're only doing a couple dates this year this is it Atlantic City New
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Jersey this weekend we're in Atlantic City then we go to Salt Lake City Tula Reno Sao Long Beach Windsor onario
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Canada Niagara Falls Ontario Canada Arizona we ended 420 in lasas come out and see us go to bfsp pod.com for those tickets badri pod.com
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also I'm Bobby mom we Miaki Miyazaki Miyazaki and here's the deal with these shirts this is a competition you ask for it we want to see who's going to sell more shirts me or the Bobo okay you can
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buy these right now for only two weeks that's it for two weeks at badf friends merch.com badf friends merch.com it's
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also going to be in the description right and you can buy these whoever sells more shirts is the winner you're
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going to win and the loser has to do what what does the loser have to do the loser has to massage the other person in
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a real masseuse table with the little donut head butt naked butt naked full body massage oil the whole thing available on our patreon at patreon.com badri if you want to see us
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get massage naked the loser have to be butt naked for a full body massage I just want to let you know it'll be funnier if Andrew has to massage me you
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know that I don't know it's funnier it's funnier that way so buy the me as no it's not and by the way by the way we're
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both going to lose cuz the masseuse has to be naked and so does the person getting massage really yeah it's a body on body
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go to badf friends merch.com badri merch.com to get these shirts for two more weeks that's it you two are bad
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friends who are these two idiots a white dude and an Asian dude you two are disgusting you two are something we bad friends who would you open for when you
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were young I was just seeing on there bobcat bobcat you open for him yeah really that Police Academy movie with
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him and he brought me on oh gross is somebody here God we were having such a remind nothing huh you always do reminders now mhm you don't how many reminders check your phone Jesus Christ
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man yeah it's my fault sorry whose fault is it it's my fault it's your fault sorry Bob wow I had no idea how could you not we couldn't stop talking about this you forgot I forgot you scheduled
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this you scheduled this I drove here from oh high at 7 in the morning oh no oh high that's insane insane say hi to David hey thanks for coming such a big
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fan I'm so sorry I'll make it up to you I know you're actually angry David dare you yeah are you Furious he should be no
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32 movies oh [ __ ] I've never seen you like this listen I listen 77 commercials yeah I understand special listen let him
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finish one book um and a holding deal uh Bobby what did I text you this morning I go wake up today is is your Super
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Bowl and you didn't answer who canceled on me Friday and said is there any way you could do it Monday is there any way and I go Bobby for you I'll do it Monday
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I'll move everything around 1:30 and you go yeah yeah let me turn off my phone and all my so now he's been here for 44
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minutes he's like well guess I guess what though no no no no I got time for one more question go okay put your hair
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in a [ __ ] scrunchie we're doing this okay chug that Red Bull right now God I'm not even fully what's in your mouth are you dipping right now too yeah I'm not fully in give him something to spit in I'm not fully in this real sometimes
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you don't have time to paint your nails you just got to get down such an [ __ ] I want to I want to hear more about this for go one more
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second Bobcat was the first guy to take you on the road oh we're talking about comedy uh maybe you should sit this one
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out and then I did Bobcat was uh Bobcat was on Police Academy with me and so I got that part as my first part and then you stole the movie and we did can you shut up can you honestly shut the I'm
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for fake compliments bad I mean at least it had me something any so I uh I did that one and then we were up there in Toronto we went to yuck yucks and [ __ ] he would bring me around just cuz I was on I was a comedian so he would let me
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go that he goes can this guy go on and then that's for those of you who don't know
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your crowd is what four to eighty olds uh I think we tap out at like Bobby's big gesticular gestures of Hunny hair
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and they watch it with the sound off and uh anyway so I went to the yuck yucks and then they go if Bob get if you go on WE we'll put him on so that's how it works and then I came back we stayed
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friends I open for him now when you're when he's offstage was the voice regular how are you no he was no I think that
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was an act he was a nice guy though and then uh I watched him do well then he got this movie hot to trot about a talking horse and if you remember that oh my God so much heat on him and it all went I
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was there for the whole ride terrifying and you watched him crash and then you skyrocketed what a weird did he ever
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call you after you got super friends no we stayed friends uh for a while till I got a certain level um Bobby I do like
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you looking at your phone like and and throwing it like crazy like Oh you mean you reminded me on my phone why would
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you do it on the that's where everyone does everything Bobby he's like no I was saying you should throw like a you don't
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send pigeons anymore to [ __ ] wait for wake up can I just say something real yeah go ahead two things number one this
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is great I'm sorry should have been the first thing out of your I'm sorry is the number that I did did I say I already
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said I'm sorry no you didn't no you didn't you yelled at this poor guy froming guadara obviously I'm sorry no
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no it's not obviously what kind of games are we playing now dude this is like when my dad when my dad used to hit you
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know what when my dad used to hit me and he'd be like obviously I didn't mean to hit you can I just say something okay
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all right I made a mistake I'm sorry so I'm sorry so but I can I tell you something please all right this is there's good news here on and on this road I'll tell you I'll tell you why
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I'll spin it check it out right now from now on though guess what I owe you for the rest of my life that will get me literally nothing I mean Jesus Christ
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talk about nothing I know but you don't know that have you have you ever had a Korean have you ever had a Korean OE you
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flavor a flavor a favor I just woke up are you an ice cream de shut the [ __ ] up have you ever had a career owe you a
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favor you have it have you Dave no and our favors are tremendous gold bars you know I mean fre noou you know what I mean [ __ ] first of all gold bar you
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like [ __ ] no yeah you know okay these two immigrants don't know what's going on right they're here getting three
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credits all right so also secondly I want to say is yeah when you did the Young comedian special oh boy a real question no I'm not doing a question I'm going to get I'm giving you a compliment oh thank you okay okay you thank you by
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the way you look like Wolverine and I love it do I look good today yeah you look good really good you look like Wolverine I if he was sick but Wolverine
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nonetheless it's a little gray here though oh yeah uh so here you agree to that no okay you look your hair gray at
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all just strands is it dyed I don't care if it is no no I swear to God there isn't there's
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strands good I do like her thank you so much I wish you had all it again I like that look I I'll go back to it because this that's the favor that you owe the
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faor the favors the favors go on forever with him now cuz he's they never end it's like a god stopper it never ends congratulations David congratulations
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you get favors for the rest of your life congratulations you win now let me say something I have a real question for oh [ __ ] is this podcast usable
00:08:00
or will this be like a practice one this is like a it's for patreon it'll be probably it's going to air relax Jesus I
00:08:08
don't like crazy Bob it's going to be the biggest episode in planet Earth it's going to be smart attic I don't know what that's called it's going to Smart attic your friends your three friends
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it's going to be [ __ ] smartless yeah smart ad first of all this is definitely not beating smartless it will this
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episode not unless you someone else is crazy this does well I like because I see it and F Well we like your show uh we just we just you know
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the problem is you guys are respectful and businesslike and on time and professional and I was telling when we
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get there 45 minutes early this sounds crazy just hear me out on the day of like a shoot of a podcast this rag tag
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operation held in a [ __ ] strip mall in the middle of nowhere you going to give him money I go I go to you he's
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going to give you money I go to use a bathroom I go yeah about them here oh here's a a key with a cinder block on it there's a shell down in Tunga I go guys
00:09:05
where is the money going I know we make money it's right there flatable chair and all this other dog [ __ ] look at that
00:09:12
money did you just set last night or a couple hey thanks for coming man normally I wouldn't accept it get some
00:09:18
lunch but today get some lunch get some nice lunch now let me say something I didn't even do a full set
00:09:26
no I'm not Brian monarch afford more than that Brian Monarch Al yeah also can I just say so you did this HBO young commedia special I was a kid young high school and um you did a
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promo though for it and I remember the promo it was an interview right and you you said something at the end and I
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never heard this and people have said it before but you said something you go hold me I don't know why he said that
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right but he I remember laughing super loud as a kid yeah weird things like that like when I
00:10:01
was first one when I was on my first Johnny Carson I think in the middle I go o I had a sweater on I go Somebody went to the Gap anyway so in the middle of my set yeah so people thought that was
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interesting because it was so weird to say on a regular set on my first set on TV so I know what you're saying I'm not
00:10:18
giving myself a compliment I'm saying I like to throw in I think I said hold me yeah it was a segue or like it was like
00:10:24
throwaway or something but I remember going it was so Random so fun that's an old it wasn't in that look at that look
00:10:30
at you I know look at that Bel that tucked in that's very that's this is the sein felian era of tuck it in this is way before the untuck it Store look how
00:10:41
cute he is oh and I button it to the top for [ __ ] God knows why you don't have a stylist none of these old shows you
00:10:46
have anyone telling you anything I forget who else is on this lineup with you Rob Schneider yeah uh Drake sa who
00:10:52
is [ __ ] great he unived himself since then yeah God you're such a hipcat yeah you know I want to make sure you can use it I know that's great don't use words like cat because he's a little older that's crazy sorry you're uh anyway yeah
00:11:06
yeah am I older than you you could be anywhere and don't tell me from 20 to 90 honestly yeah yeah are you you're
00:11:14
we're kind of close like fiveyear difference probably oh we are yeah you look good though thanks man um and I it
00:11:19
was Jan carum Warren not Hutson Warren Thomas who passed away did not on a live he did not he God did that sometimes God does tough
00:11:31
disease and um anyway that was very influential in my comedy thank you that moment of him saying yeah because I remember going I like the ACT you know I mean but I was like I loved it but I was
00:11:42
like that right there made me laugh so loud it was so weird and random to me at that time that I was just like oh and
00:11:50
also you were so young look you look at my you're my age I was just like this is a kid doing you know what I mean like on
00:11:56
HP this is insane that's how I felt about uh sportson when I saw Nick he was like we're not too far off an age and when he did his Comedy Central half hour and he was that young what was he was 17
00:12:08
or something was he really he was the young he had the youngest half hour oh these guys actually do something yeah they do okay he had the youngest half
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hour I think he was the youngest guy to get a half hour on Comedy Central 22 years old youngest comic star in Comedy Central presents but I remember seeing
00:12:22
it and being like that's me I'm that's a kid like us like it it was it does do that fire cuz if you're 22 you're like
00:12:28
that guy doing better than me and I have to do more I got to do something catchup with this I was still in college I mean
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I was he he was already it's not a race guys huh it's not a race well you're not running that's for sure CU you're losing
00:12:40
yeah um no I'm kidding uh no Bobby when we did that HBO thing they go you have 30 seconds we're just going to film you you say whatever you want it was so weird because we all were like what are you going to say they go we're going to
00:12:52
do you separately you say anything you went for 30 seconds so everyone you didn't know until you watched it and I
00:12:58
remember my manager goes I saw the one you did um do you want to redo that you like that one I go well I didn't know what to say he goes well yeah obviously but and here's what I said just fix you
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you have 30 seconds and your new comic and here's what I decided to say I go I went to Kmart the other day and I got a
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flat tire this is even a bit I go I got a flat tire so I went and I was hungry so I went in the back and there was a little dirty rotisserie with hot dogs in it and I said to the lady working there
00:13:29
are these all beef and she goes I don't think so this is funny and I go and I go and
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that was it and they go is that's the one I go I think it's funny it is cuz it really happened and I go I should have done more that type of humor because it was a little offbeat than just regular
00:13:50
joke joke joke but when I got an SNL and then uh oh a couple people remember when I got on uh SNL I couldn't f figure out
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how to write a sketch or do a weekend update piece without just being do jokes from my act and I think it was Conan
00:14:04
O'Brien was there and he goes you have to like a concept like a whole a whole feel of a bit and then the idea will
00:14:12
sell some of the stuff without being like punchlines and it took so long so the first one that actually worked like
00:14:17
that where I was a receptionist and I was going oh and you are and it was more like an attitude and when I was getting laughs
00:14:23
on stuff that wasn't like a punchline then I really was like another thing went off like oh you can do it like this
00:14:28
right I started learning oh that's how you write sketches that are just the idea of it everyone's rolling with so do
00:14:34
you remember that one where I'm like a uh sort of a condescending reception a greeter yeah right yeah yeah I pretend I
00:14:40
don't know who anyone is and I go it's a little crazy right now and so yeah and then that worked and then they put it up
00:14:46
in the front oh look at that picture me looks good look at the bottom see where I have a coat on yeah he wants the one to the newer one from Van oh you look
00:14:53
right there that's a good it actually says sorry David Bowie David Spade turned down a request from you kind of look like Tom you radio had a little bit little bit that was for this sketch
00:15:04
where Bowie I couldn't get it on and then Bowie was on the musical guest with tin machine and I said I'm gonna write
00:15:11
Bowie I love that the one album they did tin machine I love it I let's move okay so um so uh as I just push him away yeah
00:15:20
I love that it feels so good feels then I uh I I say oh I put Bowie in at the end going I'm David Boe and I'm like I'm sorry and he's like I was in uh I've actually done it's just I I'm not much
00:15:31
of a music guy you know just talking down him so then they go oh David Bowie read the sketch he once talked to you
00:15:37
about it I go about his three lines I go oh sure so they gave me his fake name they said call this
00:15:43
hotel do you remember his fake name I do not God I wish I remember I want to know his Al was cool I had it written on a piece of paper because he called me and uh they said call him back
00:15:54
and then I called him oh my God they put me through imagine can you imagine I 26
00:15:59
25 and I haven't gotten the sketch on it IM he goes David I'm reading this reception and I met him at the Young
00:16:05
comedian special oh see look now we're buddies so I'd met him before but not this this was after so I say uh oh yeah
00:16:13
I said oh he goes this is so funny I run to these people all the time anyway I can play your
00:16:21
part and I go oh well did you read it Dave he goes That's way funnier and my lesson in like quit just plugging people in to make you look good CU you know you
00:16:34
do a sketch and the host comes the host has to do something because when they go in the meeting they go I like that one it's really funny but what do I do and
00:16:40
they're like yeah get rid of it and you go the sketch killed and then you figure out later make sure Alec baldon does
00:16:45
something yeah what does he have to play yeah because he wants to score or whoever the host is so I go well I it
00:16:52
was kind of one of the sketches where like Wayne's were like I want to do it more than once and and he's like H I'd love to do
00:16:59
it and they were like if David Bowie play we'll put it on for sure yeah and I said no because I go I want to try
00:17:06
meanwhile it had the stink of it it didn't get on and then so when you put it in read through again it's tougher
00:17:12
because they don't get on and then they right and then they go and then it just Fades away so I still didn't do it and
00:17:18
then everyone's like I probably would have let him I know but it's so good and anyway I got it on about four months
00:17:24
later wow and he was weird about it that's what I who did you get it on with I think I with Rosanne oh that's no MC
00:17:31
Hammer was the first one and it was the last sketch in the whole show and then the next one was Roseanne and it was the
00:17:36
first sketch and that was the best one it ever worked wow I did it one more time and then it but the rosan one was
00:17:42
the best one did you ever have one that you did you know like the the Lauren removes it but then plugs it back in last minute you know like right right
00:17:48
right before dress or whatever they don't do that because they have to build the whole set so if it doesn't get on read through you're [ __ ] but they
00:17:54
might take a weekend update and say hey did you want to do that we have a light weekend can't update and throw you in
00:18:00
yeah you have anything but Sandler would sometimes write a song after read through you know if anything happens
00:18:06
during the week and you can write you can throw something in you know and then uh if it's very topical that's the beauty of it now when you when you did
00:18:13
when you had your Regiment of SNL you'd have to be to places on time right and like you I'm looking at Bobby already
00:18:19
drifting off he's like I'm not drifting off is there one of these where you like had fun and like you see no I I've had
00:18:26
enough first of all number one I've had enough of it I don't give a [ __ ] I know you're don't please St fine you do what
00:18:32
you do go down your path I'm already down it I'm I'm run you on your I'm not trying to be controversial you guys talk
00:18:38
I'll dip I I'm slowly waking up I realize what's going on here just be on the show I'm on the show yeah I'm
00:18:44
listening to everything you're saying what are you talking about pal he told me I I love you dude I made a mistake I'm sorry no we are buddies we're
00:18:51
buddies it's not like he's somebody that like I've got to do many dinners with him we've gone out many times I know him
00:18:57
for years you know and as a friend I I'm allowed to make a mistake I made a mistake but I don't like being [ __ ] persecuted persecuted persecuted persecuted I don't like being in a
00:19:09
corner I don't like that's these are years of years of is this us being friends yeah years that's a in Hawaii is
00:19:15
that me that's you dude with Chris wianki yeah yeah and um wrong that's in the wrong Missy yeah yeah it was from the wrong Miss tour to force for Bobby do you remember that day oh yeah oh yeah
00:19:28
yeah that day let's talk about was the worst day of my life you know about it yeah yeah that was the worst day of my
00:19:33
life but but it turned out to be the best so um that movie was such a [ __ ] monster I love it great great but um I L
00:19:40
like [ __ ] the whole movie and that killed me wait why what do you mean cuz I had to shave I actually voluntarily shaved I was in Portland and they I I
00:19:47
should have like darker hair and [ __ ] shave and not look like myself and I look so bad then they gave me a clipping
00:19:52
wig of Darker hair they didn't just want to dye your hair it was a bigger pain in the ass why didn't you just want to dye
00:19:58
your own hair I did and then we added more I I go I don't need this anyway once we were locked into it anyway we
00:20:04
did the whole movie Lauren was great that's Sarah chock and that's look at Bobby fresh face Bob God look at how
00:20:11
young you look right there for some reason that was like two years ago but you look so young me that was 5 years ago really no that old when did you turn
00:20:19
before Co dead inside oh co that was before Co right yeah it air during Co yeah so we did right before wow yeah yeah yeah yeah it look like she now no that's what you just said I looked young
00:20:31
and [ __ ] springy back then well I you look like you got up on time back then like you were humming along scheduled one oh do you remember that I sent that in that was funny yeah that was fun I
00:20:42
was just talking to Heather like I was like Bobby didn't do lights out that much but how many times did you do it
00:20:48
Theo didn't do it at all once or twice but I did send a couple videos took up a video three times I think I did three
00:20:54
times two or three times um can I we talk about what happened at the wrong Missy what happened you think it did
00:21:00
that or no you had well I I did so I had one line yeah no you we you were you were greeting us another problem with that scene was not your fault but we walk in and Sandler's kids play the kids
00:21:14
there and they walk in and then they're talking loud and Lauren goes hey kid shut the [ __ ] up she screams at them so
00:21:22
it's hard to follow that bit because it was really funny and then we get to the front desk and you go good evening Mr
00:21:27
Mrs Tim yeah yeah yeah but mine wasn't a bit it was just a line right it was a joke there you were written in because
00:21:34
you're Bobby Lee and everyone loves you it's like what people say you're just funny and yeah yeah but we didn't give you a great funny part yeah so I said
00:21:42
the line which is fine do the line right know I don't remember it but I remember this I did the line and I remember
00:21:50
stop and then it was horri Sandler walking up and he I don't I don't know what you're doing man God damn I go what do you mean he's like yeah I just don't know I mean it's like
00:22:00
you know it's play real it's a good Sandler impression too and I go that's what he sounds like okay when he's not [ __ ] performing oh thank you so much
00:22:11
I don't like what the [ __ ] you're doing right now so anyway I do it again and then you know there's another problem
00:22:17
like you're not clear about this this and that and it just kept going and as it went I just started sweating and I
00:22:24
remember David looking at me going I'm sorry I was trying not to cuz I go if he [ __ ] [ __ ] us up again we were
00:22:31
laughing I didn't [ __ ] it up I don't think did I [ __ ] it up they just go you go good evening Mr to I'm like is he
00:22:37
trying to sound like a real person that's making me sick because I'm so used to being a goofball you being a
00:22:42
goofball yeah and you were being so straight I couldn't take but it's weird to put him in such a straight role it it
00:22:48
was sort of I tried to be real about it but he was like that's what are what are you doing I go no you're great and it
00:22:54
was just an odd situation then we got the giggles cuz it was taking forever and Adam was there he's one line took forever he's not there all the time and
00:23:00
he's drinking coffee in the back I was so stressed vroom and now a word from our
00:23:06
friends at vom if you're in the market for a used car but dreading the hassle on top of wondering if you're even
00:23:12
buying a quality ride you need to check out vroom I've been shopping on vroom.com and they have thousands of
00:23:18
cars and trucks to choose from all with delivery straight to you I got to tell you Bobby found a new Toyota uh
00:23:25
Pathfinder that he really like and and all the popular makes models are on there so it's hard to pick a favorite
00:23:32
right MH all vehicles on vroom.com go through a thorough inspection and reconditioning process and come with a 90-day limited warranty they even give
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you 7 Days of 250 mil whichever comes first to make sure you love your new ride and if you don't you can return it not only can you buy a car or truck on vroom you can sell or trade in your old
00:23:50
ride too all you have to do is provide a few details and they'll give you an offer in as little as 2 minutes they'll
00:23:56
even come pick it up for free free room is the better way to buy and sell cars and that's exactly what their customers
00:24:01
are saying like Timothy who said great cars great shopping experience an app great service all the way through
00:24:08
delivery that was Timothy by the way yeah check it out for yourself and find your next right at vroom.com that's
00:24:14
v.com displate you guys check it out dude um when I was a kid I used to have posters they get ripped and torn so
00:24:21
easily but now in the future which is now the present moment we have displayed these things are amazing there are
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to withstand a lifetime of intense enjoying and staring you know you guys know the displate they have been part of
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bad friends family for a very long long long time and if you know you know if you don't there's better you better
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check them out listen to this this is heavy man this is not some crappy cheap poster that you got from
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Spencer's Gifts this is the real deal Holyfield all right um they're they're carbon neutral you're saving trees okay
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and they're durable and they're magnet Mountain mounted so you're not putting holes in your wall which is huge you put
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a little magnet there and it sticks to the wall you don't need to worry about ripping up holes and tearing up your house yeah make sure you get displayes
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at the checkout or use the bad friends uh if you want to get some bad friends stuff and they have tons of other stuff on there too uh you're going to get 22%
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00:25:44
like in a fury Mr Mrs Morris say say say good evening Mr Mrs Morris let's see you do it right now action good evening Mr
00:25:52
and Mrs Morris that's perfect that's what I did that's what I [ __ ] did dude all right Sandler didn't think so I know I know so I get in the van I'm
00:26:03
depressed I go to [ __ ] the hotel eat right and what happens I go upstairs I'm at the bar eat eat eat and there's a guy next to me at the hotel now that's that
00:26:14
this that day he's an Asian dude it was Jean oh Jee Hong that's right right and he looks at me and he goes hey you Bobby Lee right I go yeah he goes I produced Magnum PI and he goes I'm going to write
00:26:26
you in that a bunch of episodes [ __ ] four years of work oh see and you know what so Sandler wasn't mean to you that day you wouldn't have gone on that little eating bench your little sad boy Benji at if I hadn't gone in general
00:26:38
because I remember it was one line and Dave was like just do a favor I go it's one line but I did it for you know I do
00:26:44
it because of David right it was good to have you there it was great anyway it did so much for me thank you so much for having me on there I apologize for being
00:26:50
late let's not go to no that night cuz we went to eat while you were in town oh no you and I went to that restaurant we
00:26:56
went to the strip steti oh yeah yeah that was trip second well yeah yeah yeah but after that um no that night we didn't go eat what hotel was that I was
00:27:03
embarrassed to be with him I go what if Sandler gives notes on how he's eating Ste yeah you're eating it like a
00:27:10
[ __ ] robot yeah just eat it no it's tough I the four seasons was that it was that beautiful you do you like girls of tattoos it depends not on the facial structure of the face but like on the
00:27:21
neck and who has that no there's some girls in the bone I don't like the bones like you know there's this new service you can you can flirt with girls that
00:27:26
are locked up right now doing time and there are some face tat chicks that are just stunning really yeah go to this I
00:27:32
see them online all the time on Tic Tac they show these girls that are still in prison that you can there's a dating app for girls are they're going to get out
00:27:38
soon right and I would only date I would go they'd have to be out within under a year yeah I think it's I think it's like
00:27:45
six to eight months I'm Ser it depends on the with the crime but here you go meetaninmate.com no the crime doesn't really matter they're they're absolving
00:27:51
their sin the that's where it's from oh there's a whole it's like a oh my God look at all of them some featur Twitter I follow where it's just mug shot mug shots of of beautiful women who got
00:28:03
arrested are there body shots or just the face she just they usually just do he from up call him on the
00:28:09
uh okay here we go what do you see okay Samantha bull child tough name is she your type she's out in Cilla California cow Chilla is a name of a place we have here my name is Sammy
00:28:21
Chowchilla oh Chowchilla that's even worse it's Chowchilla yeah I enjoy meeting new people I'm interested in
00:28:28
your culture she can write and killing you yeah says it right there to get to know people yeah kill you date of birth 8387 see you know they tell you stats go down height 5'9 weight don't worry about
00:28:41
it yeah that what she said no I love Tik Tock fre hes and killing like slow torture yeah give me another one cuz I'm not really into the Mexican thing right now why not you're
00:28:54
over it yeah I'm over it that phase is done oh let go he does go through big faces this is white right here yeah this
00:29:00
is white you like good now what does she do this girl say what they did let's see if they say what they what did she do
00:29:06
this girl okay so hold on hold on hold on what does it say their maximum release date would be 2028 too long what did you do young lady
00:29:14
sorry that's a red flag when you're in for more than years yeah mean that means the crime was pretty bad she's a masseuse yeah okay yeah you know what
00:29:28
she can hit the ground running when she gets out back to work right back to work go to the Four Season uh I do want to
00:29:35
know what they did yeah I need what they did that that's what the site needs what they did you like girls have tattoos with sayings on them you don't have
00:29:41
tattoos do you Dave I do have two but they're just stupid what are they you started it I didn't know that's true
00:29:47
what is it what is it well this one this one I got on S live is a joke you could even pull that up Sean pen gave me a tattoo there you go it was just a joke and then he gave me another
00:29:58
one about five years ago cuz I wanted him Life's a garden dig it no that's not it I know other people that's very funny
00:30:04
so you have a Calvin and Hobbs yeah because he couldn't do the one we picked and so we just had to pick one out of
00:30:10
the cartoons I hate it when people go Matt you know you're on Matt TV it's like SNL I go who says that no one's ever said no
00:30:16
people said that Mexicans have said that are you I go well that is that is that's snl4 Mex our biggest star was like
00:30:24
Nicole Richie she was on Mad TV like and we would get people like before there were s like one time we got Ryan Reynolds but we didn't know who he was look how crazy that is In Living Color had bigger Stars than I know we would
00:30:37
get but then we would get like Marilyn Manson Green Day played we had The Strokes play that's cool so we had cool
00:30:42
band younger bands but it's like I would look at their show and go I mean it was a completely different program it was a
00:30:49
completely different level but everyone knows Mad TV so that's kind of good it was very well known I've heard of it at
00:30:55
least I don't know if it was like churning out Superstars but Ry Lang was on were you I likey langie wait what's wrong with that I don't know I mean I I I mean the class
00:31:07
of guys I was in on I mean they've gone on to from at TV you that's ke and Peele oh ke and Peele is great yeah but they weren't on as long as you were right but they were for five
00:31:18
years you did seven I did who's who who cares Matt Brer there's M was on it yeah
00:31:26
yeah U we had Arden mirin Ard who's in the middle who's that girl the mid Rockwell on the right Nicole Parker Oh
00:31:32
Nicole that's Nicole Ari Parker Bobby are you 11 is that you yeah I'm at the bottom that was my eighth year that was
00:31:37
the last year eighth year that was the last year yeah yeah who's the person at the Top Eric
00:31:43
Price like Keegan did it still one last year Johnny Sanchez I know I see Johnny so funny he looks so young there so young let's move on that is a good class bring up Spades
00:31:56
class yeah where's my CL look at your [ __ ] do you ever play Asian characters on there look at this cat look at Spade you were on with nobody's David Spade was on SNL with [ __ ]
00:32:08
literal nobody's who's who are any of these people I recognize none of these [ __ ]
00:32:15
human dude holy [ __ ] I mean this is honestly Al Franken this is like when the when fary oh my God this is like when the [ __ ] when we were do in the The Men's Basketball Olympic team this
00:32:27
was the Dream Team and then then they'd have to play like [ __ ] Sweden or some [ __ ] the
00:32:33
women's side Sweden women's team that was a good year this is Dream Team [ __ ] where's Mike Myers though Mike's probably taking the picture right you guys can you take this he's like well I
00:32:44
wanted to that is that's I mean dude what a [ __ ] you were in the gut of of some of it's unbelievable it's incredible today is actually a sad anniversary of Chris
00:32:57
today wait is it really today get the [ __ ] out of here someone on Twitter told me I think no way I knew it was close to
00:33:05
Christmas you know why I thought you know what's so weird about this this is one of those things December 18th holy
00:33:11
[ __ ] [ __ ] is that today oh my God that is todays in 2020 you were on set when and you were [ __ ] late today the
00:33:18
disrespect is on Farley's I slept in for him oh yeah that make this actually makes a lot of sense that's nice yeah you you know why I when I was D this morning when I got up and I was getting
00:33:28
coffee and I was scrolling I did see someone posted a new photo of Chris with a crown hat on with a cigarette in his mouth have you seen that go around man it's such a [ __ ] cool photo and it made me go oh that's I just thought it
00:33:40
was just like you know someone posting that photo look at this [ __ ] photo look at how awesome that photo is cool he took he was he was actually goodl
00:33:46
looking dude he took some cool [ __ ] pictures I mean that is [ __ ] powerful [ __ ] I don't know he just had you know I
00:33:53
don't know how are you when you found out you told me you were on set right I remember that you told me that you were
00:33:58
on the sitcom what's they open up to you one day yeah you did I was on just shoot me just shoot me yeah a couple people
00:34:04
remember thank you couple in the back you want to just shoot me and um what's that your vape
00:34:10
pen yeah he's a vape kid drug dealer runs it in he's like this you did see the the
00:34:17
the Minnesota junkie there he's our little little house [ __ ] oh yeah you don't have to tell me which one's
00:34:22
which I saw that dude dragging the cinder block I do have Ste I want to say another good thing about you and I'm
00:34:28
just going to just I just want to say cuz I just now I'm fully woke awoke thank I wake I I just woke up God bless
00:34:33
and I'm fully here so I want to say this okay here we go 48 minutes in yeah the show's over yeah yeah I know I just want to say this honestly David yeah and this
00:34:44
is I'm being completely listen look at me I I'm so ashamed that I woke up late I [ __ ] forgot I'm so sorry and it'll never happen again run I owe you I I owe
00:34:56
you favorites forever for the rest of your number two but I do have to say you were one even before I even knew you
00:35:02
you're just one of the nicest guys D in the scene because it's like I remember you would like randomly take photos with me and stuff and I didn't know you that well you know me you you were always like
00:35:13
available and really cool and um these comp Compliments are sort of midlevel no like you always had nice shoes no no no you're also you're very can you're also
00:35:26
stylish okay now we're getting I remember one time I was wearing a Monclair jacket and you put your finger
00:35:31
around you go someone's doing well with your finger around the mon Monclair logo
00:35:37
right I I see that's the thing I was hitting on you I remember little moments with us
00:35:44
dude and that's that's that goes a long way I like these guys pull up mon clear nothing to do and and I and I I
00:35:51
just feel um pulled up the word moments well I like the yeah Monclair is no [ __ ] [ __ ] by the way doing fine Bobby is it true and I have a question for you okay go ahead
00:36:04
it's called turning the tables I do an interview show myself um is this getting lower like my dick this is as it goes it
00:36:11
just you know I took a de class you don't have to come snap go fix it Matt oh all right um just come on Jim vanney fix it if you can my god dude your fire
00:36:23
did that was so dumb what you just did that he broke the f going to break that the TV's broke I got it
00:36:29
guy say sorry David Spade sorry David Spade that a boy [ __ ] he's like I saw a Dusty sleigh video anyway so I what was I even
00:36:42
telling you you were about to give him a compliment he wanted to give you a compliment no no it wasn't that I was he was telling another story what did I
00:36:47
just say I just started something no one [ __ ] remembers it was literally 18 seconds ago you did cuz he kept
00:36:52
complimenting you mhm I go this and that and then and you you said I'm going to compliment you no he said I want to turn
00:36:59
the tables on you because I I do also an interview show I do an interview [ __ ] guy he finally pipes up update that Visa
00:37:06
give him another six months oh he knocked up a chick here and now he's locked yeah he yeah okay are you going
00:37:12
to remember are you [ __ ] high I got to put up a haze [ __ ] can't handle it man can't
00:37:19
handle it I'm a millionaire I can't handle it everything's gone right in my life deal with it all right Jesus Christ
00:37:26
anyway so is it true you don't know how much money you have because I thought this is very interesting I don't because
00:37:31
I have uh an accountant and and I go in once a month and I go over it and I thought Bobby I could probably guess not how much money you have but you do very well but I think that would make me more
00:37:43
anxious to not know because obviously you can afford whatever you want you're not going crazy it it makes me more
00:37:49
anxious to know I know how much he has because I have better communication with his accountant because you really do you
00:37:54
guys have the same guy no because I went in in I went in because my therapist goes you got to go in because you want
00:38:00
to know what's you know you got to be be responsible and know what's going on in your life so he's not stealing from you yeah so I went in there and when he told
00:38:07
me what I had I got really upset mhm right because I I thought I had more than that that's the problem when I go
00:38:13
in it's always less than yeah so I'm like I'm never going to know again I don't ever want to know I want to think that I'm rich his business manager also
00:38:21
is no less than 94 years old and lives at the beach he's like this visor are you touring anyway I'm on tour right now David spade.com I don't like to talk let's bring up some dates some dates
00:38:35
announcing yeah this is why I'm I think I'm why I'm here I want to push are you gon to record a new hour that's such a
00:38:41
[ __ ] big decision okay so you're playing the riv in Chicago my hometown love that's my first one in January dude I love the riv that's such a you a so
00:38:53
when this is out you'll be in Spokane Washington I'm I'm moving the more theater so I'm going
00:38:59
to be in Spokane I have Santa Rose Seattle we played bboa love it was tough this year because I did I did not as many as like Nate or Theo but I did a lot for me yeah CU I'm [ __ ] did it
00:39:12
too late you know I should have been doing this I'm 30 40 but I just always I feel like I was always on a show or
00:39:18
movie and I couldn't no one was doing theaters I mean now every five years ago it was all like skyed a week at the Improv sold it out you can make some money if you go down to Irvine it's a bigger improv I would do those but man
00:39:31
to go to a theater tour is tough this the first year well so now you're going to Austin in March are you going to do
00:39:36
Joe's club or no you have any I just do the Paramount I might go over there and do uh popup no what's that thing called
00:39:43
kill Tony oh yeah yeah kill Tony I don't really know them but uh I think I might go see if I can try to do that yeah you should and then uh just do something
00:39:49
different and um I'll see Adam maybe I'll go there and watch see him yeah and uh yeah I don't know this is it's all
00:39:56
fun the Venetian with Nikki Glazer we do that oh yeah and you're doing Netflix as a joke Festival too you should do that
00:40:01
you could probably do the Venetian both you we're playing the cosmo for five four wait what Sor what is it 420 we're
00:40:07
playing the cosmo is should still be open it's closing down right now it is we're going we're they're going out a business show yeah are you being real and they're giving away the tickets yeah if you jump in the bagio fountain you
00:40:18
get a free ticket to our show don't forget to bring your merch are you being real though no
00:40:27
cos is good don't worry about it are you guys known to close down theater we're fine we'll be fine'll fine you guys do
00:40:32
good I you guys had just done it we do a bunch of shows we do like uh what could your show be you do it with this one and
00:40:41
then the other uname podcast that we don't talk about here do you hate it Andrew no no no no it's I think it's a
00:40:48
total waste of his time but I think it's fine that he does it finally a real answer it's a remarkable uh soft white underbelly is what it's called yeah yeah
00:41:01
can I tell you what happened by way great if you never seen soft white underbelly can I tell you what happened heroin addict are you sure you don't want to save it for the other one
00:41:08
no Shopify when we started podcasting man an online store was the first thing from our minds well cuz we didn't we didn't know if we were going to sell merch we didn't know we didn't know but now that we do we do Shopify dude well
00:41:20
here's the deal you got to use Shopify it's so easy it's the only way to do it now and I got to tell you A lot of
00:41:25
people are like if you're H if you have a global uh Commerce platform that that you want to help sell whatever product you've got they can help you scale every single side of your business it makes it
00:41:38
so easy to put stuff on there to organize payments and what's coming in and what's going out you don't have to
00:41:43
worry about doing merch from your garage anymore Shopify is the global Commerce platform that helps you sell every stage
00:41:49
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00:41:56
just just hit a million order stage Shopify is there to help you grow whether you're selling scented soap or
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friends now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in shopify.com badri can I just tell you what happened
00:43:02
why we had to move the thing just real quick or no yeah please what's that well I was going to go to lunch
00:43:08
when this is over first [ __ ] hour I was here it is insane to eat a banana but you had to do it quickly cuz nobody wants to see you eat well I did it CU I knew he was blabbing away there's no
00:43:19
[ __ ] turn the camera off me for a while I'm just trying to say alive on Survivor here [ __ ] walking in this dead Mall remember that one time I drove
00:43:31
you to Sarah Silverman's house that was cool did you yeah remember she had a party I wasn't invited to I wasn't
00:43:37
invited to so I just dropped you off and I'm like bye and I left I don't think I get a plus
00:43:42
one yeah yeah like I've done things man you drove him to sah I've been to that rooftop party that that everyone goes
00:43:49
you never been next year you should go I don't think she likes me yeah she said that yeah I know it is fun though
00:43:55
everybody likes you you buddy I know but I I wanted to go up I just felt like the vibe wasn't like like can I I can't go I
00:44:01
can I go I went to a holiday party last night who was there you know I knew of for those of you at home last night was a Sunday and last night I knew of two Christmas parties on a Sunday is so
00:44:13
weird don't you think that's weird well see I found it weird too is Pete Holmes lives up up up and away from here and we
00:44:20
made the long drive it was nice and it's one of those moments where I realize it's a far it's a Sunday too far too far it's a far Sunday that the ohigh party yeah [ __ ] off yeah but it was no it was
00:44:35
actually wonderful it was great to go see I wanted to go see them up there and I never go up there so I wanted to go see it how far is ohigh from here now
00:44:40
we're in 25 did you spend the night last night yeah oh wow I didn't know yeah sorry is there a hotel up there or do
00:44:46
you stay his house ohigh Valley and is right there there's a hotel right there it's nice um Bobby do you think you'll get married this is what everyone ask me
00:44:52
and I hate it I don't think so I think um you think you're too damaged you were sort of married to uh kalila yeah um you
00:44:59
know I look at finish it for me Kila yeah and then how long did that go well they're still doing the podcast together you love that it's an interesting move I don't
00:45:11
know what the [ __ ] you're doing I have no idea what you're [ __ ] doing and I don't like it parents fight I don't like what you're doing I don't like that and
00:45:16
I don't I think you this thing what you're doing right now I made a mistake it's been like this whole right be
00:45:22
honest back me up here it's good though this whole time no just back me up for a second right this whole time back me up
00:45:27
asking for you to be on his side before making the valid argument go ahead also yelling at them and they've been hitting
00:45:33
you up for last three hours to come down here and you're like what the f i I'm not done with them I'll tell you that right now St after I'm not done with
00:45:39
them I'll tell you that stay after right they Bobby I'm almost done I I don't even want I don't even want to even go there with you but pal I don't even want to go into the arena with you because I
00:45:50
will [ __ ] bring out my [ __ ] swords okay let me say something ching ching all right ching ching ching ching right
00:45:56
so let me say something this whole [ __ ] podcast I've been looking over and you do this you do this thing like
00:46:01
yeah give us his moves what does he do when he's [ __ ] with you he he he tries to smile but his eyes are rage so
00:46:08
this is what he he goes and I know that look right there it's in your eyes the fury is in your eyes dude and what I'm saying to you is just let go soften your eyes it's
00:46:21
a quarter inch from Bobby's muta yeah talk about my eyes buddy soften your eyes talk about soften and let's just let's be positive now dude I don't critique your eyes don't critique
00:46:32
my eyes oh that's you're right I'm sorry do what you want to do with your eyes thank you yeah you're right I want this camera to be directly straight up I'm just [ __ ] making face David by
00:46:46
the way David was too good for our chair he said our chair was [ __ ] yeah yeah he doesn't like our [ __ ] chairs I
00:46:51
didn't like your [ __ ] raft a blowup chair I'm sorry this place makes millions I know you got orange paint you did that so start cutting Corners after that orange paint let's
00:47:03
bring up let's bring up the set from their show from from him and oh yeah mine's stupid let's isn't like a real
00:47:08
show oh [ __ ] off it's a very real show well we don't really have people in that much let's see the images we never have
00:47:15
video that's our problem H the problem why don't you do it we're trying to do one with just me and Dana this year oh
00:47:21
that's right I kept telling you guys to do it it's so crazy they just didn't want that and I was like it's like
00:47:27
having a newspaper guys we should have video that's why you can't find video also two TV movie stars should be a
00:47:32
[ __ ] and I can't believe it does well even without because you know what it was smartless you could point to they don't do it and Conan didn't do it and
00:47:39
guess what this year Conan did it smartless is a little different than you guys smartless is different yeah but we
00:47:45
have people you know there you go there's just us look how adorable where are you guys being held captive there that's in my basement Jesus [ __ ] CHR did you come there Bobby you've been to my house mhm many
00:47:58
times yeah many times the games we we some fights I've been do fights you know I will give you
00:48:05
a compliment Santino is pretty funny I saw his act I see his act my friends like you they always go you see this guy
00:48:12
he's very funny Bobby you do a nice job and I saw you the other night and uh you act like there's this is what people
00:48:18
tell you you act like you're just thinking about this on stage you are um that's why there's no punch lines but um
00:48:25
no you no you did good you were over there H and I watched you remember I saw you
00:48:32
the other night we sh with improv yeah yeah and you always are funny always funny I okay here's the next thing you
00:48:37
have to do for me next time we do a gig together you tell whoever it is give me your
00:48:43
money okay okay how many times do we have to do that though just once one more time just once so I'm going to have them give you my money money that'll be it'll be funny that be kind of you think
00:48:54
yeah yeah yeah you sure you want to do this but tell him go he needs it right and then I'll go he won't know he
00:48:59
doesn't even know how much he has he's sick yeah he's sick we'll sech a rumor that he's sick yeah see you bought some drugs off me SP like yeah he needs help
00:49:06
he's he's on his he's like an OIC OIC no that wouldn't make you OIC is for weight loss I know on that's what I bought him
00:49:12
from oh guys that Banana's hitting the banana sugar yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm in it now I'm in it once you get here's Bobby I'm in it I'm in it you
00:49:23
can start filming yeah yeah yeah jeez it's the most unusable podcast i' ever done in my life do you think um where
00:49:30
where's your list of questions where's your I have some do you do any prep any prep yeah no dude we had Dan arroy I was
00:49:37
like this look I and I'm like look at this go ahead go ahead go ahead he's a legend [ __ ] you [ __ ] you're a
00:49:43
legend too but we're friends I like you don't hang out with Dan arroy do you says Legend I go like this I'm I'm one
00:49:49
too I go no Danny akro is one of the alltime greats of SNL so of course I want to go there's too much from Ghostbusters yeah
00:49:59
too much and he also loves [ __ ] paranormal [ __ ] what about Mike Myers so Mike Myers is great don't you think he
00:50:05
might be one of the most prolific post SNL guys sure I mean and the movies he didn't do he didn't do sprockets they W
00:50:11
up not doing that he did new coffee talk oh uh I just think about [ __ ] Beyond wayworld and then Shrek
00:50:19
Shrek is absurd oh you have Shrek right to get into that franchise is oh my god do you have any can you pull up
00:50:26
Google guys can you uh do you fight over who punches the keys or is it no it's Carlos only Carlos see if you can find Farley doing Shrek there was not right he was
00:50:37
supposed to be Shrek I finally found video where he was doing it wow that's it right there rare footage of Chris
00:50:43
Farley a Shrek yeah wow I mean listen he did it sort of his own voice I think now come on what do you want is that really
00:50:49
I don't have time to set it to music oh this is another one of those onion things no this is one of those drop it and leave me alone he's doing his exact
00:51:00
voice well why don't you want to talk about it why do you Mike did I like that that's so wild do that he had four days left I heard five days left of that no
00:51:12
way and they asked Johnny his brother to finish it but Johnny was too like oh so
00:51:17
he had already done the movie and then he passed yeah and Johnny could have finished it
00:51:24
cuz he can do his how are you and uh and then Johnny said no because it was too torn up what a
00:51:29
different world that would have been so but listen Shrek as Scottish or whatever
00:51:35
I wouldn't have picked that but it was a very interesting weird mic thing to do and it paid off you it worked so well I
00:51:41
mean but how how would you tell Mike let's do just a couple normal like on a regular you know what I mean where they
00:51:48
yeah that's funny do a couple like that and then a couple of the ones we're going to
00:51:53
use I got a trick I want to try something right wow but just do the script once and then do whatever you
00:51:58
want but Mike obviously was great and that's all that took a lot of balls though for somebody on the production
00:52:04
team to go maybe the Scottish thing is going to work and how about how weird it is you know Mike's great and you trust
00:52:10
him it's still like what if everyone goes what the [ __ ] why is he Scottish right the questions never posed no one
00:52:17
you never go how come nobody else is Scottish even Cameron is the other character should I'm like where are you from
00:52:22
again yeah Castle wow where is Scotland where are we yeah exactly lot of questions is it something that you tell the producers I'm going to do or do you just do it on day well you know someone like him I would imagine just did yeah
00:52:35
i' be read through you know well we all read throughs with him and he just does different things and different read like give him something in a sketch and he's
00:52:41
M he wants to make something of it and uh everyone does there so someone will put a spin on something you don't even see coming but you can get mind more
00:52:49
laughs out of it that weren't there you know did you ever make a choice that they didn't end up using that you really liked one time we were I was Hitler's uh
00:52:57
assistant and so in a sketch and so they go like this and I go Yes mine F and every time they kept coming but it kept getting a laugh yeah I'll get right
00:53:09
on that mine yeah the line is just something mine F and I like Lauren looks over so then you're like oh cuz you if you're [ __ ] up like Smigel sketch or Jack Handy you
00:53:22
know they're going to be like a read through going what the [ __ ] are you doing because it's too scary wow because everyone in there is a great writer do
00:53:28
you get n did you get nervous because I remember just even my show I would get so nervous between before table you
00:53:34
looking over here and you look is that where you're looking when you keep looking away from me here to he looks at the guys he always looks at the guys look at the guys but you look at all the
00:53:41
way over there or do you look here why does it matter because you're not looking at me I'm looking at you now when I look I'm looking at you now like
00:53:48
this when you did SNL and I go oh yeah yeah it's his nervous tick I have a nervous tick yeah
00:53:53
thanks for bringing that out there it is [ __ ] better do it again do it again see go God damn now do the lip thing do
00:54:00
the lip thing go ahead when I did SN see I have time for one more yeah so did you get nervous before table reads because I I just that's a lot of
00:54:11
pressure right because well you do you read a lot of sketches not all of them is going to get picked well In fairness
00:54:16
I wasn't in that much so if I was in something there's a lot of little birds in that [ __ ]
00:54:22
Nest give me a little crumb I just gave you something so I want more it's everyone wants to be in more yeah I'd see love it sad he's like I'm only in three things I'm like do you even
00:54:34
count like who gives a [ __ ] when I first got there I saw him and I go do you really even care like I just think
00:54:40
you're hilarious yeah I just see you in a sketch I go oh this is funny he's funny but they do and I go I'll never be
00:54:45
like that and [ __ ] four days later I was like I'm not it was exactly what I said I wouldn't do freak out could not
00:54:52
be more stressed in my whole life than that [ __ ] wow it's too the whole time too hard but I wasn't really gaining
00:54:57
ground it was just and of course the jealousy is yeah off the charts wow setting off jealous meters in Japan I just see everyone killing it I'm like it's just hard to keep your head
00:55:10
keep your friends pull for everybody and not go what about me well that book live
00:55:17
from New York did you read that book it's just it's [ __ ] crazy it's just a weird thing you're you're on The
00:55:23
Bachelor where they're all nice to beginning and then it gets Whitted down and then they have to hate each other not hate each other but you go how much
00:55:29
can you pull for a guy CU I'm out so you have X amount of sketches yeah and this
00:55:35
happens today I talk to people they go I'm trying to keep my head together but I just they give this one so many and
00:55:41
you it's like it's not fair and you just go I know I believe me I've been there but if you're good usually and you need
00:55:47
some people picking sketches on your team because you have to have an alliance in there to help you because
00:55:53
there's so many good ones if if you're not like writing with the person or whatever they might just go we'll pick all the ones we like and there's just
00:55:59
not enough even if some are good they don't make it so kind of frustrating place I'm glad I never got to do it uh I
00:56:05
mean it's I would have killed in retrospect you don't really need it like back then when there was only a handful of things to do oh yeah but uh it did
00:56:12
help me get everything else I I did okay on there but I once I got on just shoot me that was a sitcom and that I had way
00:56:19
I it's sort of more fun because it was it was more relaxing they were helping me write I would add stuff but it was pretty much them and I'm like you just
00:56:26
show up and read these joke it's such a [ __ ] miracle it was so different yeah best and uh and then doing a more
00:56:33
sitcoms like that that was I'll probably do another one I I I did like doing it and you would do another sitcom I
00:56:39
probably would I don't know I mean a multicam or single I don't know because singles are good but they're hard like movies if it's good I would do whatever
00:56:45
was best right but there's two I'm talking about right now and I go they're both pretty good ideas
00:56:51
so I might happen that' be great really unpredictable you really are yeah you are not at all
00:56:58
are you winding down I'll go no no no do you want me to go no no what do you mean
00:57:04
how many of these do you have today how many of these do you have five no this is it right it do you always have a gas
00:57:09
or or you no we never we have we've have might be in my lifetime maybe six gats we we don't do a lot of gats we usually
00:57:14
do just uh oh is that why it was dude we've been wanting you for so long but is that why it was such a colossal [ __ ] hassle to have me come on I used
00:57:20
to call him I go he goes can you come on when I see him in real life and then I hit him the next day hey I where are you
00:57:26
like Wednesday through Friday anything next week nothing crickets two weeks later oh yeah I can't do it then I'm
00:57:32
like right yeah okay but when you go Okay but well let's do it for sure definitely and then I go all right what
00:57:39
about when I'm back from the road and he's like yeah and the real reason I was late
00:57:45
is because I wanted you guys to have a little report that's smart yes that's my thinking because you know I didn't come
00:57:51
in here for a little bit because like on mine I didn't want to I don't want to see actually love that I love that you stayed out there because I I don't like
00:57:57
seeing the guest before too much because then it feels like well you guys didn't talk no we did I went out for a while
00:58:03
because I go the first thing I was going to say is something jokey and I'd rather just save it yeah yeah the problem was
00:58:09
we were waiting on the co-host so I was doing a lot of due diligence trying to get co-host Here Andrew is professional he got here early I go oh they're not
00:58:15
here and he goes well Andrew's in there right behind the desk so then I get in the mental space of like [ __ ] is Bob going to and then cuz David walked in the room and he goes I'm probably going
00:58:22
to leave soon cuz today it felt like when I was on a sitcom with Oliver Hudson yeah with Jenna fer just let me
00:58:29
finish just plugging sitcom let me finish let me finish my story I did a show called I'm dying a ALS that also
00:58:35
flopped I know but I remember one day I woke up in my house and there was a man in my living room oh I remember this right and I I go there's someone in my living I walk out there and it's like
00:58:47
it's a guy that works on the show he goes it's 10: I go so he's like call 's at 6 and that that feeling of holy [ __ ]
00:58:58
you know I mean and just getting in the car like that feeling I have every single day when I'm late for something
00:59:04
every time at the comedy show they go I go Mom after Bobby's here yet they go oh he's not coming I go
00:59:11
Jesus anyway today felt like that when you were when you you you said come on man the way you said say that again come on man oh my God that
00:59:22
sadum everyone was sad started on a sad note when I say come on man like that it's like a I'm just I'm not upset I'm
00:59:28
just disappointed here's my last text you I'm going to go say bye to Santina oh my God I feels so bad you know what
00:59:35
that we did it I don't give a [ __ ] we have it in the can it was a good podcast so [ __ ] it one was yeah it was great it
00:59:41
was very good great comparing it to hey Santino and then I go by the way the whole drive here he doesn't go on way or
00:59:47
anything he's just like you texted me I'm like What's better than your phone to get to you what's easier cuz most
00:59:54
people phone yeah you don't like to call you're like and then the old I used to a joke about girls when they don't they go
01:00:00
I'm the worst texter like you text them and then four days later oh my God I just saw this I'm the worst at this I'm
01:00:06
the worst texter and you it's always a lie no one doesn't know how to text and then you included and then like five and
01:00:12
then I answer I make her sweat about a minute and then I answer and then another five days goes by and she's like oh my God I'm so bad at this and then we
01:00:20
go to dinner and the whole night she's hunched over her phone like this oh I see you're getting you're getting the hang of it wow that's so so true yeah yeah
01:00:33
you're like a yeah I I you well you leave a lot of voicey voice yeah yeah that's good yeah voice TX it's called a
01:00:39
gift yeah I have so many voice tags saved you got to save save them you got to save them they're good you got to
01:00:45
save you know I'll tell you a horrible story then I got to go okay I used to have a voice recorder like old people
01:00:51
you know like beep leave a message oh the phone you know those answering Ma so answering machine answering machine thank you do you have those in uh where do you live again Spain Morocco so I go
01:01:05
uh they make him over there they get all the way over there so I I have this and
01:01:10
then I got one that's electronic or something because it was getting there phasing out but I when I moved to town I
01:01:16
was doing just shoot me so I it it maxed out at 35 messages and I had 33 and it say Farley Norm Sandler and everyone doing [ __ ] bits because when they
01:01:27
call yeah you say you know they just do a fully committed fully formed hilarious
01:01:34
runon bit and so many of are like are you good good good wow Dave SP what are you rolling doobies just goes on and on the stupidest [ __ ] and I
01:01:48
go I want to make an album something one day just and then uh the old girl that worked with me when went through my
01:01:54
office she goes I moved your desk and I go and I ran in there and she goes don't worry I put your phone machine over there unplugged it no and it was zero
01:02:02
and I go no and I went to the store and they're like oh we there's nothing we can do oh my God I'm so mad sickening
01:02:10
wait it's not the girl that you brought today no that one I haven't beat up cuz I would have beat the [ __ ] out of her
01:02:17
that's insane no she's great it was just one of those things where you just go there's nothing you can do like holy
01:02:22
[ __ ] but there was so many funny on well thank you so much for coming to our program I really appreciate it and sick feeling yeah drive safely and
01:02:34
good luck with the last time I blow drive my hair for you I'm so sorry I love you so much I'll make it up the far the Farley ones The Farley ones that
01:02:45
obviously Hurts the Most cuz the other ones you could talk to again yeah do you have other stuff saved from him that no one will ever hear or see you know
01:02:52
what's funny I was just saying the other day that I haven't looked back to my Norm messages because just texting because Farley wasn't in a text era but
01:02:59
when like even Brody Stevens I don't delete them from Twitter Instagram no I still have all those text it's too weird
01:03:05
and there's texts and messages and I but I can't read them it's too heavy but uh Farley stuff you know I have his coat
01:03:11
from Tommy Boy I have his uh security shirt from Wayne's World that he wore in that scene and I a watch Lauren gave him
01:03:18
I still have some stuff for on the house but it it's not super sad I showed it to
01:03:24
uh Acro because he did Tommy Boy with us oh yeah I almost didn't even remember that Wayne zalinski no yeah zinski
01:03:30
zalinsky that's right Wayne zalinsky all right zinsky Auto Parts so you don't have to we you do the work so you don't
01:03:36
have to yeah something like that but you but you did save a bunch of you you some stuff but you know it's more it's too
01:03:43
tear jery to go through it yeah like do you ever do this I know this is dark I know we're going on this road but if
01:03:49
I've lost somebody sometimes for some reason I'll just call their phone I'll just call their [ __ ] phone with some
01:03:56
weird hope or something I don't even know what I why I do it but I call the phone until the number gets disconnected
01:04:02
or change it's too heavy I know I don't know why but I do it I've done that for years for people
01:04:07
they answer hello I think about that like what if someone what would you do you'd freak out no be like you owe you owe me 50
01:04:14
bucks and you're going to [ __ ] die what do I do with the bad friends [ __ ] is this your merch yeah it's our
01:04:21
merch we sell bath David thank you so much for coming give me David Spade a round of
01:04:27
applause give me a hug man and remember to take your chair back too oh wow rude rude rude very rude F you dude listen I'll take it this is the new I thought
01:04:40
this was the key [Music] Chi w yeah wooo