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[Music] hi boys and girls [Music]
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it's time for a christmas tale how the bubble ruined christmas
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[Music]
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it was the day before christmas right here in l.a the people delighted it's in the wrong
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way faces we're smiling stop stop it this is terry andres they're never going to
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understand you you're you're too fancy be scoot over scoot over move fine move
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[Music] it was the day before christmas right
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here in l.a the people delighted each in their own way
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faces were smiling and joy filled the air excited for gifts that they ordered this year the people
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in town were filled with glee all except one who could it be
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in the hills of hollywood tucked just behind the sign stood a mountain of boogers a stockpile
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of slime a top booger mountain overlooking la
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lived a mean yellow creature in his gross booger cave grumpy and cranky from gaming all night
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he peered down on the city he hated the sight he was so sick of christmas
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so tired of it for 49 years he dealt with this [ __ ] the festivities the songs they're all
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just so lame it's that jerk santo he was to blame he must ruin christmas he thought to
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himself he must ruin christmas but how bobo how he then had an idea
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so vile and so mean he'd give this crap town something special indeed quickly he jumped in his
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ramshackled van he raced down to the city with a horrible plan [Music]
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at every house pad and condo on each and every floor
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the bobo white boogers on gifts at their doors when the town folks checked on their presents that night they were greeted
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with the disgustingly horrible sight quickly they opened their santo claus app to leave their reviews crap crap
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crap crap crap back on the north side at the christmas workshop
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santos business was booming and growing non-stop his orders were filled and delivered on
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time suck on it bezos this holiday is mine with peace of mind
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without disconcert suddenly his phone rang out red alert red alert christmas spirit was plummeting as fast
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as it could someone in hollywood was up to no good santo was enraged
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how could this happen quickly he dispatched his red elf assassin rudolph the red blade boarded a plane
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she flew to los angeles to investigate down hollywood boulevard and all over
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town disgusting green boogers were left all around rudolph the ninja
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left through the streets searching for traces of the boogery fiend
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she found where he lurked yet he was not there in the distance she could see the bobo's green layer of course booger
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mountain overlooking la where the mean bobo lives in his gross booger cave
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rudolph the ninja snuck in with stealth where bobo was playing video games all by himself she snuck
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and she slung and she crept up behind placed her blade to his throat grabbed her phone and she dialed
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facetime connected and santos saw clear the bobo was done for his life will end here wait santo cried
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out to stop rudy's blade he knew something was wrong just look at bobo's face
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with tears in bobo's eyes santo could see he wasn't mean at all he was sad and
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lonely santo's temper and rage was calmed and subdued it was a miraculous thing
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his tender heart grew release him said santo this bobo's just
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sad instead we'll give him the best christmas he's ever had the bubble replied if i could have just
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one wish i've always wanted a friend to play my games with so upon christmas morning to bobo's
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delight santos stopped by the booger cave for a video game fight
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the bobo was happy but santo was a noob gaming was not something santo could do
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round one fight [Music] you win perfect perfect perfect
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round after round it was much of the same santro got his ass whooped game after game santo had had
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enough his temper irate this brutal assault he could no longer take
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that's it you scumbag santo screamed out the bobo just laughed with a hollering shout
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santo's heart shrank down to its regular size with a snap of his fingers the bobo met his demise rudel's red
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blade splashed down with such might merry christmas you bastards and to all a bad night
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you two are bad friends you are these two idiots a white dude you two
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are disgusting [Music]
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bobby must move for a mistrial now that trial was an abomination and proved everything wrong with the
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judicial process in this country bobby must move for a mistrial and demand a proper trial trial the main
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witness in the case is a presiding judge here the judge happens to be a material witness
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and cannot testify unless she recuses herself as a presiding judge over this matter if not bubba's motion
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for a mistrial is deemed granted a new trial must be conducted merry christmas
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i mean for a week i've been thinking about this you've been thinking about how the case
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yeah anyway i already lost and i paid i'm sorry i'm sorry thank you oh but i i want to
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say this before we even start no we already started cause we got that i'm sorry on there i'm sorry but um case in point though
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you know i showed up here right on time and i had to wait you shut up you should
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actually showed up five minutes early exactly but it's now 8 00. yeah and we started two minutes ago when
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you started reading that long thing a minute ago no we literally started when you started reading it [Laughter]
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one minute oh
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[Music]
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can i just say something about your outfit though yeah well i'm rudolph the red reindeer the thing is is that um what i
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don't get about rudolph can i just ask what i don't know much about 100 percent i'll tell you everything you need to know thank you so much so um um so rudolph was being teased where he
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was teased and bullied about having arrested this red nose right and so at night probably rudolph
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went to sleep crying a lot yeah right he probably couldn't sleep well because every time he'd close his eyes
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the bright shine of the nose probably woke him up right right imagine that yeah you're trying to go to sleep and then also you just see
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this red glow in your face all right terrible that's yeah that's how it is in my house and my wife he would wake up and all the other
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[ __ ] reindeer would be like you [ __ ] freak yeah look at your nose you freak and they probably [ __ ]
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do what like dogs do with a [ __ ] uh you know they pissed like this on his [ __ ] face yep and then one day
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it's really snowy out right the blizzard or some [ __ ] santa santa is uh
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he's like scared yeah how am i gonna navigate and then he realizes the freak yeah he's
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right yeah because a rudolph the freak you're your head and rudolph why
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right right because if your freak knows right right and rule goes okay and he doesn't
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and then all of a sudden everyone likes him and he's cool yeah that's [ __ ] a [ __ ] story what
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they don't tell you is what the next day they still went back to beating the [ __ ] out i know that they bullied him again
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that's what i always think that they bullied him afterwards of course they did yeah yeah he got his little moment in the sun yeah but then after that it was
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like that's it let's beat the [ __ ] out of him because i don't know if you know but um donner and vixen
00:08:50
before they were in a gang it sounds like it yeah donner and vixen were in a game yeah yeah yeah they were crips they
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probably had tattoos on their bellies they were crips little little underbellies yeah they
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were crips and they hated that he was a blood rudolph was a blood you know he was a blood from south that's
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what freak what's the only what's what's your least favorite of all of these songs or limericks
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and i was just in hawaii and i was at an abc store you want an abc store yes i do they're like they're 7-elevens same thing much better yeah they're well
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they're cleaner they're a little bit higher end than our 7-eleven i think it's more like um
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what would we call it it's like between cvs and and it's like an upgraded you know how they
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started upgrading star boxes yeah it's like it's kind of like it's like a high-end high-end seven eleven seven eleven yeah it's a 911 so i was
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there at 7-eleven or their abc store yeah and this is like in the beginning of december yeah and
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they started playing mute christmas music which is always bizarre in hawaii yeah well it feels like here too when
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you hear it here you're like then they start singing this song
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let's get it yeah frosty the snow oh man right and immediately in
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my head frosty hates hawaii you can't stand it he would die instantly instantaneously he'd get off
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the plane it would be a puddle it'd be frosty the puddle just his nose and his eyes
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he would be just be dead he hates hawaii who likes hawaii that's in the but no none of them none of them yeah
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santa claus hates hawaii do you think he's over half the pacific ocean
00:10:30
for 30 kids how many kids are in hawaii yeah 40 tops maybe right imagine imagine
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santa claus right he thinks it's his last house in cleveland right right all right
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five in the morning right he just drops it off and then elf calls him yeah that's fast and sadness is like
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yo yo what i'm almost done hawaii oh [ __ ] he's gonna get in it he probably
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doesn't have the presents right he has to get to look around what are they like coconuts
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uh coffee here you go kids santa claus hates hawaii hates him yeah
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does that does it like southern california no it doesn't well it's in the it's in the mainland
00:11:11
i guess it's easier it's simpler to get it's easier to get easier for him to do it do you think santa judges the people he
00:11:18
goes i don't really give better gifts because of this area i don't like this area he probably is yeah that's right
00:11:23
probably like he sees he sees when he goes i don't like he goes he looks he goes albuquerque
00:11:28
yeah i don't know rudy what's the best gift you ever got for krimas
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um i don't know shoes shoes that's the best that you've
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got i gave you shoes on the show i gave you shoes [ __ ] [ __ ] what she's saying
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and the kind of [ __ ] garbage that comes out of this ungrateful lady's [ __ ] mouth well hold on
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i gave you shoes show your shoes right now because i know what's going on lift your feet up to the camera
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because you have one of ours on that i got you the sandals i got you i'm wearing two different yeah why i
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forg i didn't see what what do you mean you didn't see because
00:12:11
little bobby was yelling at me to go because you were late again were you late again no because dude is this
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because of her yeah no i'm saying she was like it sounds like that's the truth that
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really is no genuinely so i'm yelling at her right yeah let's go i don't want another trial
00:12:30
i say right you don't want to know right yeah and she's like but i'm sleeping or whatever she's doing right and she she's not wearing the right
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shoes or her eye is the sleep in her eyes i mean it's it's a [ __ ] you know but what you said there shoes is the best thing
00:12:43
you've gotten that's the best thing didn't i give you a [ __ ] ipad you got an ipad oh but
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you didn't give that it was like a game and then i picked the ipad but i bought the ipad right
00:12:57
yeah and you picked it out of the [ __ ] thing right so so so he gave you an ipad yeah so that's
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wait no so shoes are better than
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an ipad no i forgot about that did i ever let me ask you let me ask you this you [ __ ] little one did i ever buy you a
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computer oh yeah oh my god you got an ipad and a computer which also is a computer
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yeah but i bought them both i bought you a computer no yeah what kind a couple of thousand dollar computer uh
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macbook pro wow yeah do you know anybody else macbook yours you know i didn't get a macbook pro
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until i was in my 30s yeah she has no idea is it an ipad pro
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no it's a mini ipad oh those are cool yes i got a mini ipad and i also got a a a computer did i get it for you for
00:13:47
christmas or your birthday the computer yeah no it was the first time i got here
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and then you gave it to me because i was taking care of julio yes so basically i gave you a [ __ ]
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computer just for funsies for fantasies you know you got a funsies computer yeah yeah
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and yet okay i get it wow yeah and you're grateful and so i said what's your best favorite gift and you said
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shoes right it says a lot it says so much to it it breaks my heart what's your favorite gift that you've
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ever gotten oh i've gotten some good ones um or what's your favorite not really that funny but what have you given that
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that you love i i give what i don't give what they
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desire i give what the most expensive thing is like what do you give your mom like i
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got my mom a house yeah that's amazing
00:14:40
i got her house you bought her a house in arizona yeah her house is yeah it's your house yeah i paid the mortgage well when she's
00:14:46
a merry christmas here's the mortgage when she dies it's your house again yeah so you have two houses
00:14:52
i actually have one how many houses do you have bob i own a apartment complex too where in marina
00:14:58
del rey area do you really yup i don't want to talk about it we're talking about it what happened you're under your right eye
00:15:05
there's a cut what is that from let's talk about it it's a sad story
00:15:11
well i'd love to hear it it's not exciting it's not podcast fodder hey make it up oh
00:15:20
a tarantula a tarantula yeah we tried to have sex with your friends
00:15:27
it's not ours it was there before ours and we didn't know oh really we didn't know
00:15:32
there was a tarantula farm downstairs underneath the house i mean what what really happened okay so um you know that we're fostering animals
00:15:41
yes a puppy yeah her name was sora and when sora sees me she gets so
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excited that what does she do when she sees me she pees she pees cuddling yes she loves
00:15:52
it yeah yeah yeah she doesn't pee really when she sees the other ones only me yeah which means i'm a beast
00:15:59
master i pee sometimes when i see you i know you do i get excited here yeah no i get excited i go bubbles here
00:16:07
so um i went in you know sora stays in juliana's room and um i
00:16:13
come i visit every once in a while yeah and i came in and she went wild and i laid down on my back and she did
00:16:19
that to my face oh she called at you she bit it oh she that's her mouth she was biting and then
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one of her teeth scraped it like that yeah yeah and it was bleeding pretty bad but i forgave her what do you do do you
00:16:30
discipline or no yeah i just gave her one right back yeah you bite her back no there's a stark scar right
00:16:36
on sora's face like this you bite them back i did it with a nail i just like it so it's precise but today um we did
00:16:44
something very sad we gave sora home so we went to a house and there was a white
00:16:49
couple apparently one of them works at netflix and they're um oh oh [ __ ] are you okay
00:16:56
what was that i don't know something came up wait so the white white folks and they took they were on the lawn we showed up
00:17:05
you know i mean to make it seem like they weren't serial killers did they know who you were i don't think so and um we gave it to so
00:17:12
we gave the dog and then rudy cried she started crying rude
00:17:18
it hurt huh yeah what did you say did you say goodbye yeah i gave her kisses oh what did you
00:17:24
say to her did you say something do you say i love you forever and always and we'll be reunited one day no i just said bye sora and i love you
00:17:33
oh it's cute but it's a little that's a little that's it huh yeah
00:17:38
goodbye love you yeah i was telling her i go i don't want to do this anymore yeah because given away the dog is tough
00:17:43
yeah i don't look at her she's emotional now oh yeah i don't want to do this anymore because
00:17:49
because it's you know it's not only i i think because because kalila's like we're we're
00:17:55
helping a dog you know i mean you know kicking you know in trouble you're doing the right thing
00:18:00
the right thing yeah but i what i think it does though is yeah we're doing the right thing but i
00:18:06
think there's some scarring when it comes to the dog i think the dog goes hey i love
00:18:11
this house yeah i love these asians yeah i mean they're feeding me nice clothing and with it they're with me 20 they're
00:18:18
feeding you nice clothing food i mean i just i just woke up from it now i know
00:18:24
i'm a little i'm not fully there it's okay so so what yeah and you think it you think it's hurting the dog that's interesting it might
00:18:30
and i think the dog kind of just walks around going oh i'm in this new house but where's mom
00:18:36
where's mom and dad yeah where's mom and dad and the little one the little one yeah and um rudy i'm sorry that and i just think
00:18:42
that it's uh yeah if she's not and this is this is scarring for all of us well he let me put it like this i think maybe it does something
00:18:49
better for the humans than it does for the dog the dog might be confused for a little while and they get its bearings again but like for rudy
00:18:54
i think it's a good thing because then it teaches you lessons of life right what lessons that things are going
00:19:00
to come and go in your life nothing lasts forever that's going to happen with relationships both friendships you know
00:19:07
yeah but usually when that happens it's like either um like relationships usually when those end you're glad
00:19:14
no no no no no sometimes you just as you've gotten older something she will learn your friendship circle sort of changes
00:19:20
right and over the years like people come and they go and you don't see people as much and yeah but death is the only thing that's i think equivalent
00:19:27
to what we went through no because you could still go take her back steal it yeah why wouldn't you just go steal it
00:19:35
back yeah yeah if you really missed it i would steal it back yeah by the way that'd be a great heist movie going back to get the dog that you gave
00:19:41
away for adoption yeah that's hilarious yeah it's a fun movie that'll be really fun yeah to watch rudy sneak back in and
00:19:47
steal it you know where they live let's go get it yeah but the dog would have to be in peril you mean you'd have to be sad and gross
00:19:54
what they're going through yeah like they have to be in like in a well like in a buffalo like buffalo bill's dog oh man i mean
00:20:00
yeah like just on top of a you know what i mean well barking at a scared remember the scared fat lady
00:20:07
that's under you know in the well yeah yeah i mean and then she tricked her with the bone so sad that's a good trick though it was
00:20:13
a good trick when she was doing that i was like in the theater go yeah yeah yeah get in there what is it weird it was weird because you were rooting
00:20:19
for her to hurt that dog in the movie but the dog didn't do [ __ ] for some reason you were like wanted it
00:20:25
i don't know why i wanted it to happen yeah yeah because i love dogs but in that specific it's like because
00:20:30
it was buffalo bill's dog right in silence for the lambs that you wanted to get hurt but the dog didn't do
00:20:36
anything wrong i know he was just being playful like hey fat white lady like just being joyful yeah but she's
00:20:43
like no i'm gonna take this you know pale or whatever stick a [ __ ] chicken bone to it and then she did it jerk it down yeah it
00:20:49
broke its leg i think yeah yeah and you're like yeah that little [ __ ] that dog but that dog didn't do [ __ ] that dog
00:20:55
didn't do nothing yeah i think you can't do adoption anymore i think that's gonna hurt rudy too much she's already scared it hurts me i just
00:21:01
don't cry you don't know how to cry at all i i i had to go you know you know i told you that when
00:21:07
my dad didn't cry yeah yeah so i had to cry when i had to go to a therapy like
00:21:12
i had to go to arizona to an institution i remember for me to cry yeah so it's
00:21:17
like i don't really i cry like that disney movie was that disney movie about the dog mulan
00:21:23
the dog um okay foe in it uh the way home or whatever
00:21:30
what was that called the dog's name was norbit or something like taro or taro tarot zotero i think
00:21:37
taro is a fruit it's delicious [Laughter] wait was that the movie that was the dog
00:21:42
movie taro yeah yeah i cried hard really in that yeah and there was a couple of instances
00:21:48
in uh queen's gambit where i kind of teared up a little bit it got me a little together together
00:21:55
coco was good by the way one of my college buddies used to sell weed out of um the drive-through window at togo's sandwich yes yeah that reminded me yeah
00:22:03
uh i cried so hard and i'll do it every single time at the first vignette of up you know the vignette before up oh dude
00:22:10
that i can't even watch that video it makes me so emotional bawling yeah they should end the movie there
00:22:16
yeah that was the best part yeah yeah that was the most beautiful thing i've ever seen because whatever happens after that right his life might get a little that
00:22:22
little fat [ __ ] with that little fat group yeah with a fat [ __ ] a little fat chubby [ __ ] they don't
00:22:28
ever say what it was the kid he used a little fat china fat
00:22:34
that's what he was little and he was like yeah constantly in the boy scout he was a he was a boy he was a boy scout
00:22:41
right which there are no fat china's chinese fats you're saying there's no fat chinese people
00:22:46
in the in the boy scouts no there's gotta be i've never seen any fat china china in a
00:22:52
[ __ ] hey guys to keep on this uh holidays
00:22:58
shut up you're in a flow you've worked on a [ __ ] flower because you got good reviews last week's episode [ __ ]
00:23:04
uh andreas did he get good reviews people were like i saw some tweets like saying oh he was really funny he said this one
00:23:10
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00:24:33
andrew yeah bob betterhelp has really helped me out during this pandemic i get therapy through better help um
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it's a great service is there something interfering with your happiness or preventing you from achieving your goals
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00:25:47
andres what's up papa oh i was just saying that uh since you guys are in this holiday spirit maybe it's time to do a secret
00:25:53
santa oh secret santa i didn't bring a gift what do you mean what for a secret seller i have to give i put
00:26:00
a we all brought a gift for secret santa what are you doing we agreed to do
00:26:05
secret santa didn't you bring a gift no one told me about george you never told me about secret santa
00:26:11
are the names last week what do you mean we picked names live on the air i have proof what did you get one yeah yeah what are
00:26:17
you talking about you we just picked the names we just did it i never i hope i'm i never got a gift
00:26:25
george thank you you forgot what even name i got andres i got your gift oh awesome
00:26:32
come here this is for andres what it's under here where is it let me see it this is this is yours so you got a gift from me
00:26:41
i never saw you bring anything into the [ __ ] car no but i um delivered it to george's house so that
00:26:47
you won't see it wait a minute oh wait are you lying i'm not no we all got gifts
00:26:52
why didn't you who who's yours i don't even remember bobby who's yours bobby who's yours
00:27:00
i swear to god well i'm giving a gift to andres thank you yeah and rudy's got one for
00:27:06
you yeah and then george yeah so who do you think yours is yours and what did you get me merry
00:27:14
christmas [Laughter] you didn't get me a secret santa i
00:27:21
forgot i just forgot and then you get a gift yeah before i
00:27:28
open it what is it open it no tell me what it is i know what it is tell me what it is because i don't want
00:27:34
to see it tell me what it is chicken hot pies chicken pot pies
00:27:40
chicken hot pie chicken pot oh you got it from uh uh belly yeah
00:27:47
congratulations that's really nice cool
00:27:57
you're so you're so annoying
00:28:03
oh my god you got really upset george make sure the are those frozen no
00:28:11
no no it's still frozen it's cold all right i'm sorry i forgot i forgot
00:28:18
about i would if i would have remembered i would have gotten you something great we pulled the names literally like somebody else i don't
00:28:24
know [ __ ] i don't know what's going on who did you pull i think it was you you know wrong
00:28:30
i don't remember but i did with you george you should have [ __ ] reminded me no
00:28:35
that's not his fault we just pulled in george you should remind me
00:28:41
if you had me it would have been fine no no but listen come here come in here for a second just i'm sorry
00:28:46
just back up first hold on just take it for a second hey uh andres where's the video uh let me send it to you just stay right
00:28:54
there send it to my email okay you know all right i'm forgetful about things right
00:29:01
you know you also knew right that i you you also knew i know but you also knew that i wouldn't
00:29:08
forget well there's a chance yeah yeah so the reason why you didn't tell me because
00:29:13
you wanted the drama that you know i mean of me
00:29:19
it doesn't matter you should just remind me whoever your person is you should get the gift you should remind me no one else needed a reminder i know i
00:29:25
don't know what i don't know when my dude and i have to remind you to get yeah because i know what christmas is on the
00:29:32
25th i know that right so my point is is this okay
00:29:38
my point is is that no i'm being real okay okay the point is this okay um i don't know i
00:29:45
forget about the little things that we do here i first i was so enraged by the trial did we do did we pull it before the
00:29:51
trial just after we right after literally right now i was still in my emotional distress over the trial right
00:29:57
you were yeah you were emotionally distressed from the trial that we did on yeah so my point is is that you knew
00:30:04
i wouldn't show up here with a [ __ ] gift you knew that this would cause some sort of drama between me and andrew and
00:30:11
i know that it's my fault i'm sorry it's my fault and i'm sorry thanks all right but i gave you the four
00:30:16
dollars and you [ __ ] flicked it and that's [ __ ] rude you really four dollars yeah thank you
00:30:22
andrew this is a really nice gift yeah yeah you're welcome thank you george i really love it yeah
00:30:27
oh i'm like heartbroken now it was so well everyone show their gift
00:30:33
and show what they got what did you get andres i got a bunch of film books really nice
00:30:39
what did you get rudy i got a keychain and this that's all what is that it's um inosuke
00:30:47
from a favorite series i watched in a soke yeah what does anisoke mean
00:30:53
i don't know but it's his name and it's okay it's a pig purse it's a pig person
00:30:58
no uh he wears a pig head like he chopped he killed the pig and
00:31:04
then he wears it that's what she's into and then george
00:31:09
what did you get oh my god my favorite japanese notebooks and i don't know what this is it's probably a pin from the
00:31:15
context but it's really hard to open are you going to love your pot pies
00:31:20
yeah yellow puff pies really thoughtful thank you it is thoughtful yeah and i'm happy you
00:31:26
thought of me why didn't you remind me i thought you knew because you were buying gifts
00:31:34
no no no okay were you online buying gifts yesterday and so you didn't think about this just how crazy this is yeah yesterday
00:31:41
right i didn't even get kalylah anything who'd you buy gifts for that's right so yesterday i wake up i'm
00:31:48
like should i play let's just let's just let me talk this through okay i wake up and i go let me just uh
00:31:56
should i play ground war on warzone today
00:32:02
i'll just grab some coffee i'll grab some coffee yeah and then goes what'd you get so and so for this other
00:32:08
thing that we have to do next week for the family sure i go what's next week and she goes it's
00:32:15
christmas i go it is that's what i it is yeah so you forget the sun oh [ __ ] it is
00:32:22
right and then i'm thinking what did i didn't get clean nothing right so
00:32:28
then i'm thinking i gotta get this guy that's on the you know that that i [ __ ] drew
00:32:33
right i gotta say i don't wanna say what it is and then while i was doing that i go i might as well just buy a bunch of [ __ ] for
00:32:40
kaleido right now right so they got but the guy who you drew the guy's name that you drew do you remember drawing my name out of
00:32:46
the thing forever because reminded me i would have completely forgotten about it you did but you do remember the moment you drew his name no
00:32:51
i don't i don't even know i go who's my guy you told me it was so sorry do you remember the moment you drew my name out of r i don't remember let's take a
00:32:57
look [ __ ] man yeah we'll do secret santa let's do this
00:33:03
yeah well here we're doing a seat we're doing secret santa this year bobby's first who'd you pull let's look
00:33:09
at bobby's eyes don't tell anybody literally looks right at me twice three times
00:33:17
four times five times put in your mind look at it why that's how you know it's good
00:33:25
look at how many did you see how many times bobby looks me in the face look at this let's watch it again right
00:33:32
as bobby pulls it look at this yeah we'll do secret santa let's do this we'll do some secret santa here we're
00:33:38
doing a seat we're doing secret santa this year right here right now okay look at
00:33:43
bobby's eyes ready one don't tell anybody two three four
00:33:50
five why that's it that's how you know it's
00:33:56
good luck no in my culture we put in we put in red bull put it in red bull red bill so here's the idea i remember putting in the red
00:34:02
bull you do so bobby we knew that you were never going to remember
00:34:09
thank you so every name inside of the cup had my name on it so on purpose we devised this plan are
00:34:16
you being real yeah every name every name inside of it let me finish every name inside of there had andrew
00:34:22
written on it because we knew bobby's never going to remember in fact i said to george
00:34:29
i said to george i said to george george yeah yeah what if what if he remembers and george oh oh he
00:34:35
won't remember and sure enough you didn't remember i didn't remember so not only did none of us those gifts
00:34:42
were all arranged by george thank you george you did a great job you never got chicken pox no she did no
00:34:47
yeah george guys no when you made up that you you were shipped to george did you make that up on the spot yeah it was good that was a very good
00:34:53
improv she really did kill it you did very well that's how well we knew you weren't gonna get me a gift so we put
00:34:59
george put your my name on everyone's paper
00:35:05
it's so good it worked it was really working it didn't work and you made you i was feeling pretty
00:35:11
bad yeah you should have seen what you were gonna get what was i gonna get
00:35:16
no i because when i [ __ ] up like that i double down yeah so you would have gotten something
00:35:22
great i don't need anything from you just your just yourself that was really a good trick oh god i was so scared so that's why
00:35:29
george didn't remind me because it was that serious george would have reminded 100 he knew yeah george knows better to remind you with real when real life
00:35:34
happens yeah yeah okay good thank god well [ __ ] you merry christmas i want to show you one
00:35:41
thing by the way there's a famous um of uh this guy alex tanello
00:35:47
this guy pointed this out to me you know run dmc's christmas in hollis queens
00:35:53
do you know that song christmas in hollis queens you never heard that song well we can't play it because that we'll
00:35:59
get sued but i want to show you something you are in this music video i get what you're saying because there's
00:36:05
a there's a little photo that says you've seen this bobby leona people yeah i get it i've been getting tweets about it for the last 10 years
00:36:11
it's insane i've never seen this look at that there's bobby lee just because my name shows up but it
00:36:17
said you were nice that's you yeah bobby lee hong kong
00:36:23
naughty or nice yeah bobby lee hong kong but nice yeah but if i looked that cute
00:36:29
i would have been a comedian that kid obviously by the way that kid so cause that says bobby lee hong kong
00:36:36
yeah is that does that kid look like he's from hong kong you could be from hong kong yeah
00:36:41
i don't know let's let me see another frame of it real fast he looks like a hong kong kid
00:36:50
i who [ __ ] dude everybody knows what a hong kong kid looks like no no
00:36:55
when i'm honest you just talked about him before jules if you're on a plane yeah
00:37:02
you sit by an asian person do you immediately know where they're [ __ ] from no exactly it's very difficult really
00:37:10
yeah you can't tell i can't i can't see a japanese guy some sometimes japanese i can get but
00:37:15
sometimes i'm wrong i go eight japanese they go cambodian and then you're like oh [ __ ] my bad well maybe we should have you
00:37:21
guys start to wear something to identify it doesn't the reason why we shouldn't do that because it doesn't matter
00:37:26
it doesn't work well we want to know which ones are the good ones together there is no good every place has good ones and bad ones
00:37:32
i don't know yeah dude i think some are bad and some are good no we japanese good korean bad no no no
00:37:40
no no no no no there's a lot of great like i just saw something right now a bunch of [ __ ] south koreans what they
00:37:46
do is they go to this river by the dmz the the line by the tn by the tmz the dmz huh the line the demilitarized
00:37:54
zone exactly and what they do is they either put rice
00:37:59
check this out i'm not kidding no i know but you said check this this out check this out they put rice
00:38:04
inside like a bottle of water yeah they take the water out and then little messages like money
00:38:10
or they'll put like your little um usb like memory chips in there so that people can
00:38:16
because they can see news and stuff like that yeah and they put it in the river so that it drifts and maybe lands on the other side
00:38:22
or they'll take balloons and they'll put different things you know what i mean like messages and stuff and they'll float it over the thing
00:38:29
and so that the north koreans can get some stuff that's incredible right but then that south koreans just
00:38:34
illegalized it why because they were like because this is what happened was they were they're afraid of a war no south koreans
00:38:41
were like drawing pictures of like kim jong-un like as a like a fat crazy
00:38:47
monster that's what i'm saying they're afraid of a war right and so that and then i guess they're getting annoyed by it because now all these north
00:38:53
koreans are getting like you know i mean these pictures of kim jong-un like eating [ __ ] you know white people and babies and stuff
00:39:00
they're like it's completely illegal but they've been doing it for years well no so those are good people
00:39:05
of course i know that there's many go i'm making a joke that is incredible that they would do that
00:39:11
yeah would you give a [ __ ] okay let me tell you something we live in los angeles right let's just
00:39:17
say right outside of valet people people had to be enslaved basically you would feel
00:39:24
terrible for them knowing that they're right next to you and they have to be enslaved without without any chance of really
00:39:32
getting out or having a future but okay let's if they were right next to you you'd feel it more
00:39:38
i i don't know because um let's suppose it's mexico okay let's just say mexico was a
00:39:44
authoritarian you know country dictatorship yeah and they were enslaved and a lot of
00:39:49
bad [ __ ] was going on and they they had no um means for um
00:39:55
to get any kind of news you know and um they're getting fed this propaganda from their own country sure
00:40:01
and um i don't know if we would go down to you know the border and put up balloons and
00:40:07
giving them i think citizens would you think so i think people have good hearts i think people really care
00:40:12
i would do it too what's the nicest thing you've done this
00:40:17
year how about that have you done something nice yeah but it's not stuff that you would
00:40:22
think it was nice well tell me what you think is nice well there's this comic that i don't really like that much and
00:40:29
i had heard that in the pandemic he was struggling yeah so i venmoed him
00:40:35
just out of the blue 500 it's very nice why would i not think that's very nice
00:40:41
because i think when i think about it maybe it was a power play on my part yeah you're gonna use it against him
00:40:47
well maybe it's something to use against him or to show him hey i know you know me we're frenemies
00:40:53
right but you're not really enemies yeah but we're not like like if he called me he goes i think
00:40:59
you're inflating it you think so i think you're making it out to be a thing that it's not the fact that you even did that to him shows how good of a
00:41:05
heart you have that you really do care i did that to like maybe four or five comics i'm saying you really care
00:41:10
that's i don't like comics or friends of mine struggling struggling especially talented people it's it you know it
00:41:17
sucks see that's what i'm saying so you do care i guess that's a really nice thing yeah doordash oh
00:41:25
andrew i would have been dead without doordash me too you should drink this pandemic it's helped me out so much i get all my foods from doordash i get a
00:41:31
lot of deliveries through jordash it's very convenient you want chinese you want pizza they got it baby what do you like ordering through doordash bob i like
00:41:38
panda express i like the good stuff you do like the good stuff look we've counted on restaurants and now they're
00:41:43
counting on you um dining rooms are closed but they're still open for delivery with doordash please support your local restaurants man it's struggling right now
00:41:49
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00:42:12
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00:42:18
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friends for five dollars off your first order with doordash policy genius hey the holiday season sure knows how to
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comes to insurance it's nice to get it right i adopted three teenagers
00:43:50
for the holidays i adopted three teenagers usually it's a family but we did teenagers this year
00:43:56
it's just gross that you would say it out loud sometimes when you do a good deed you should just keep it to yourself
00:44:01
no because when you announce it it felt really good i know but when you announce it you announced giving someone 500
00:44:07
you asked me okay you you never ask me questions but i got to fill it in myself
00:44:14
but you hear yourself talking and i gave each of them 10 grand see that's it's so gross i'm kidding it
00:44:20
was 25. no did you really adopt teenagers or is it a joke no we do every year we usually do families are
00:44:26
they what are they like what color are they
00:44:32
yeah they don't tell you so you don't know their names mario lopez no no you don't know their
00:44:37
names or what they look like uh no because they don't want to create they don't want to create this weird
00:44:42
they tell you their name and they tell you the things they need and then they tell you um how do you know what's going to
00:44:48
them that's my problem because it's a community program that we've worked with in the past yeah but still in the past they probably never told you
00:44:54
who they were what if what you'd be saying what if these people steal from yeah maybe i always
00:44:59
think that how how how do i know that all my money is going to go to them is going to go to these well it's gifts it's gifts
00:45:06
it's gifts it's not physical cash it's good can't they take the gifts and then sell that [ __ ] on etsy sure but if they did that then they're the ones that are
00:45:11
going to burn not me you know like i did the right thing like i did the right thing what do you want me to do right you can only do so
00:45:18
much when you it's like saying when somebody gives a dollar to a homeless person they're like yeah he's probably expanding on drugs like what do you care
00:45:24
it's over you did the right thing yeah yeah the rest is out of your control well you don't piss me off today i read the news
00:45:29
that said bezos his wife mackenzie bezos yeah she gave away 4.4 billion dollars
00:45:36
and then people were tweeting like yeah but she made 26 billion during the pandemic
00:45:42
yeah but it's like yeah but what do you wanted what's when is enough enough like what you're mad that she gave some money what
00:45:50
if she gave zero you wouldn't have said anything some people don't say give any that's what i'm asking my point like what do you want her to do
00:45:55
okay if you had 4.4 billion dollars you had 20 billion what would you do
00:46:01
i'd probably i'd invest as much as i could to know that my kids kids kids would be set up forever yeah yeah i would tell my business
00:46:07
manager i go how much do i need to put away until everyone in my family all my uncles and aunts and cousins and
00:46:12
everybody everyone in my family extended family yeah are they good yes okay with the rest of it i'm gonna have fun
00:46:19
and i'm gonna give some of it away how much 20 billion i'd give away
00:46:24
a million i don't know i don't really know maybe i'd probably give away one uh one
00:46:31
billion i'd probably what about whatever if you spend the money for yourself but you let unfortunate people come party with me
00:46:38
yeah come and come along like i rent a g5 jet and i put a bunch of homeless guys on it
00:46:43
yeah something like that that's right yeah i got a a playboy boat yeah with a bunch of naked ladies right
00:46:50
homeless come on on we'll give them a shower scrub them down right yeah and get like get a nut off here's some cocaine
00:46:56
there's like whatever you know and then when we're done when we get back to l.a go back to your [ __ ] get to the hut yeah you get right to the top the
00:47:02
dungeon yeah no i don't know how much would you would you give away a bunch of money if you got a bunch
00:47:08
if you got that if you okay look if you got like rogan's deal if you got 100 million dollars tomorrow
00:47:14
would you give any of the way to charity yeah that silence says everything i'm
00:47:19
thinking i know but to think about it is pretty heavy no because i don't want to give you a lie i want to give you an honest
00:47:25
answer respect respect i respect that so give me a second i'll go to rudy right now rudy would you
00:47:30
give away any money if you've got 100 million dollars yeah how much um
00:47:36
50 50 million dollars you'd give half of what you made wow that's really generous
00:47:44
50 million dollars you give away i get 5 million of 100 million yeah okay no
00:47:52
no judgment don't judge me no judgment i have [ __ ] to do i know
00:47:59
no probably 20 million that seems fair yeah 20 million is good 20 yeah it seems fair
00:48:05
it seems good okay but where would you give it to no i would probably do um i don't like you know what breaks my
00:48:11
heart is when i see like um young children get cancer it's disgusting i hate it it's disgusting so
00:48:17
probably something you know when it comes to that like children's hospital or like hope and all that stuff something like that yeah and then i
00:48:23
would probably um i would probably go to an island or a place where these brown people come from yeah and i
00:48:30
would go i really would because and i would probably set up um you know two things you know um hospital
00:48:37
no not a hospital right um because you have a lot of stray dogs yeah we talked about this so i would do
00:48:44
like a you know a dog shelter a ranch for straight dogs to just live on
00:48:49
right on and then we could feed them and jules can take care of it i'll pay her to do it would you do that yeah if i paid you
00:48:55
good money go this is your ranch take care of these dogs yeah and then i would probably do
00:49:00
um something for like uh you know what you know i feel bad dwarves little people
00:49:07
yeah but i want them to get the little leg extensions
00:49:13
we have friend like brad williams is a friend he doesn't want to have asked him he doesn't want legs no i go you want to
00:49:18
do the lug extension he goes i'm fine buddy you know what i mean so how do you what do you mean leg extension well in china what they do is they operate
00:49:24
they they take the bone shut up i sort of go they do they build them legs no they see the bone the leg bone yeah i
00:49:32
don't know which one they they cut cut it yeah and they leave a space and the bone
00:49:39
grows whoa right and it takes like a year so they can't walk for a year so a wheelchair yeah but you can um you
00:49:47
can gain like five inches really yeah why don't they just take the legs out and put fake legs in
00:49:55
people want their legs man people do want their they wiggle their toes yeah yeah yeah yeah i've never heard a
00:50:00
leg extension yes but then their arms are still short what do you do with the other you look weird okay so yeah yeah so just really good
00:50:06
they're like t-rex but they have they know what they're
00:50:11
going to be for halloween that's great that's true but they do
00:50:16
look it up leg extensions yeah chinese leg extensions okay i'll look it up right now surgery
00:50:22
little little person leg extension little person leg lengthening yes limb lengthening is
00:50:27
meant to help little people born with dwarfism the most common form is uh achondroplasia a genetic condition afflicting one in ten thousand newborns
00:50:34
people with the uh contraplegia have average-sized heads torsos but abnormally shorter the operation just isn't about the physical though
00:50:40
that's crazy so this is a real thing dwarves divided over limb lengthening god is that a great headline yeah say that ten times dividing over
00:50:47
limb lengthening doors [Laughter] that's gonna be the name of my next
00:50:52
album dwarves divided over limb lengthening yeah uh that's one that's wait should we call let's call brad and see if he would do
00:50:58
it should we call him i think that's insulting i know but we're somebody calling me going hey
00:51:04
you want to get your eyes around do you though no why i'd do it for you i don't want it if i paid for it would
00:51:10
you would you get your eyes done i'm fine yeah your eyes are pretty round yeah yeah you don't know she has nice
00:51:15
eyes she has nice mine aren't nice they're okay they're okay they're fine
00:51:21
they're good they're like they look like a little cave i want to hide out in okay that's good yeah it looks it looks
00:51:27
mysterious do you know what i mean yeah that's good let's call brad but you have to tell him because you're the one that came up with it but i can't i don't i can't confront
00:51:33
him about it you have to say it first well i'll say it but he's going to be he's i'll do it i'll give a [ __ ] you should i
00:51:38
love brad well let me say hi first because he'll you know can you hear me sure this yeah what's up man hey baby
00:51:46
boy you're on the podcast you're on bad friends i just want to give you a heads up and bobby wants to ask you something okay all right okay that's
00:51:53
so funny because i know i know bobby if you have
00:51:58
a question it's not going to be like hey i need a new recipe for something but i just wanted to call you and say um
00:52:05
happy holidays i know your people love it are you guys working a lot
00:52:11
you guys working bobby is bad yeah yeah bobby tell him tell him what
00:52:16
you taught me well um okay well so um if
00:52:22
if hi you good how's the kid the
00:52:29
kid is great bobby how much do you need i don't even i don't need money no because we were
00:52:34
talking about like um you know how uh you're are you a dwarf
00:52:41
you we've known him for years i don't know i don't know i don't know what the heck he doesn't understand you know he's not
00:52:47
the smartest man he just he doesn't understand terminology so he needs to be informed ah i mean yeah i was gonna say bobby
00:52:53
have you not seen five minutes of my act i'm pretty sure i cover it i like having fun i like to party i don't know about you
00:53:00
but when i party i like to drink and one of the main reasons i like to drink is because i never have to pay for
00:53:07
it ever because everyone wants to know what happens when a dwarf gets drunk
00:53:14
right now you're thinking like i wonder what happens i would really like to know that like and i know it's like me and hot chicks
00:53:20
me and hot chicks have that thing in common where we walk into the club and everyone just looks at us and goes we're getting that
00:53:25
[ __ ] up tonight i'm sorry to burst your bubble but i i have tall friends okay it's not like the midgets get
00:53:31
together every sunday on the tree stump and watch football uh i ran track in the special olympics
00:53:36
now if you have never seen a [ __ ] run holy [ __ ] you don't know what you're missing out on you wanna know what happens
00:53:42
when a six foot two guy gives a four foot guy a chest bump a four foot guy gets a dick in the face that's what
00:53:48
happens yeah yeah yeah he goes over it yeah yeah but because when i see you i don't see
00:53:53
you as anything you know i see you as just a comic my friend right i don't treat
00:53:58
you different we love each other we're brothers we're brothers i i
00:54:04
i treat you differently brad and you know that i i look i look i look down on you and you know it
00:54:10
absolutely uh no how do you feel about let's get to the point how do you feel about you know
00:54:16
certain dwarves getting this leg leg lengthening operation you know where they separate the bone and the bone
00:54:21
grows in oh god no uh yeah i'm not a fan of that
00:54:27
it's a surgery that takes like over a year and a half to get done you
00:54:33
separate your bone by millimeters a day and then overnight it grows back in
00:54:38
uh and the thing is is even when you do it and it's all done you still look like a dwarf but just
00:54:45
that went into like a taffy stretching machine that's what we said yeah that's what we said that's what we say yeah it's just you're just a taller
00:54:52
dwarf yeah no well have you guys heard that now there's actually an injection that
00:54:58
you can give to dwarf children what do you mean it's in phase three of trials right now
00:55:05
uh it's a shot and you give it to them and then the uh bad parts of dwarfism kind of go away
00:55:13
what wow like what do you what do you mean wait wait what do you mean like they could like they can like the funny had
00:55:23
brad brad what does that mean what does that even mean you give it to the kid and it gets rid of what like like uh
00:55:29
uh or internal stuff like organ stuff they ten uh they tend to grow more and
00:55:36
uh some of the health the health complications that are associated with dwarfism are lessened
00:55:42
wow wow holy [ __ ] would you would you have taken that as a kid no no i don't have to write a
00:55:49
new hour [Laughter] because you know for me you know when i
00:55:55
you know i used to think to myself even just being korean and weird looking
00:56:00
i always thought i was korean and weird looking and i would go to an all-white high school and i used to think i wish i was
00:56:06
you know there was times where i would pray i wish i was just a white guy regular good looking
00:56:11
white guy you know i mean but right you know as you as you grow in your own skin and you and you
00:56:16
um develop a personality and you you have these you know you have your own thoughts and ideas about things
00:56:23
and then you know your self-esteem builds you look in the mirror one day and you go you know i'm just perfect the way i am you know i i would
00:56:30
not change perfect but yeah no i i think that i'm perfect well yes okay you i'm not no no you're a
00:56:36
racist i'm a bigot not a racist brad williams is perfect the way he is i know look i i'm gonna agree with you you
00:56:42
said a great thing it's true when i was a kid red hair i like it was so repulsive to me it was like the most annoying thing
00:56:48
ever and i shaved my head i just wanted to not have it anymore yeah and now that i'm older
00:56:53
i look in the mirror and i still i still wish i had normal hair
00:56:58
yeah yeah but it's okay no you're right you're great you grow into it andrew i'd much rather be a dwarf than a
00:57:04
redhead let's do it are there any redheaded dwarfs
00:57:10
you guys there's no way they live past they got to get taken care of yeah a red-headed dwarf we have to look
00:57:16
one up and we have to get one on this show now brad you know when you take the injections does that get does that take away your mythological
00:57:22
powers yeah unfortunately by the way we have one look at this oh my god we have one i found
00:57:28
i found a red-headed comedian dwarf i used to open for her you know that right tanley davis yeah dude yeah she's a
00:57:35
store girl wait a minute yeah yeah so all this time you guys have known a redheaded dwarf and didn't
00:57:40
yeah this is crazy but you know what the word you didn't want to hook me up no no no she's very funny
00:57:47
brad but i used to have to um open for she used to like she i don't know if she is but she
00:57:52
was married to like a six foot eight like giant guy of course right and used to like carry her around like a pocket
00:57:57
[ __ ] [Laughter] right so one time like he wasn't around
00:58:02
and she's like mad you know i mean let's open for me at this casino right so then i had to like like we our
00:58:10
hotel room was on like the third floor and there was like no elevator so i had to carry her up [ __ ] she was
00:58:16
heavy bro really oh my god dwarves are heavy well they're yeah
00:58:24
brad is bottom heavy because this kid's a tripod do you know about his kid okay i'm not gonna get into it but do you know about brad his dick
00:58:30
seriously do you know pretty big no little no not no pretty big is not
00:58:36
large besides this microphone like length and girth your dick is that big brad yes i can't
00:58:42
see the microphone i don't know what you know what the side these you know how big these shores are look at this this is it it's this is
00:58:48
your dick big though brad yep no it it just looks big on me
00:58:54
okay let me ask you this your dick is bigger than mine oh definitely yeah let me tell you not
00:59:01
let me talk to you let me tell you how i knew how i knew brad and i went golfing one time and he went to go take a pee because when you're golfing you
00:59:07
there's no bathroom so you just piss outside and he pissed outside and we had had a couple of drinks and he came back and he was a little a little sloppy and
00:59:14
i said oh brad you got pissed you he shook you know when you shake and he shook and he got pissed on his pants and i'm not exaggerating
00:59:20
the piss shake is about this far out from where it should have been this far out it was like a foot away
00:59:25
from where normal piss would be and i was like jesus how do you pee down there when you golfed with brad it was the golf course did they have a windmill
00:59:34
brad go ahead and answer no we play big boy big boy golf man
00:59:41
you know what you know that joke is okay yeah it's fine that joke okay yeah i mean it didn't do well but i know i would like to set up right now
00:59:48
because there's nothing but love here and brad knows we i love you so much brad you know that and uh obviously for the audience it's
00:59:54
all jokes this is our friend i do want to set up a match between you and brad to have a physical altercation of some kind
00:59:59
because i cannot wait to watch him beat you no no first of all i would bet my bank account bank account
01:00:05
i was dude you know i was on the wrestling team right i would love to watch you fight brad boxing yeah you got to fight him i would
01:00:11
kick his ass okay brad let's set it up i would kick i wouldn't want to brev i would kick the living [ __ ] out of you
01:00:17
you're done dude no no no no andrew here's the deal because bobby just said that he was on the wrestling team right yeah
01:00:24
i was also on the wrestling team in college let's go let's set it up so we gotta do this so we
01:00:31
gotta do this nate nate robinson jake paul style
01:00:36
pay-per-view records and it'll be bobby lee against brad williams in the
01:00:42
ball pit of a chuck e cheese here's what's gonna happen though we're gonna brad's gonna show up on a trench
01:00:48
coat and he's gonna be on my shoulders and we're gonna beat the [ __ ] out of here
01:00:54
brad we love you very much thanks for picking up uh merry merry holidays baby boy i love you i'll talk to you soon
01:01:00
all right brother love you guys thanks what are you doing what what are you doing oh we've got he
01:01:06
yeah andres andres got off last time on doing trivia yeah where's the [ __ ] where's your costume oh
01:01:14
it was getting hot out there oh it was so we we've got some trivia andres wants us to do trivia yeah and he's got some trivia lined up
01:01:20
like he did last time but i i answer questions and then we're gonna hit the buzzer because last time the problem was there was no
01:01:27
judgment over who buzzed who could buzz in first okay so now this is everyone's got a buzzer but what's if if
01:01:33
i get an answer wrong what happens you get hit okay we've got some trivia
01:01:38
so andres once you set up the rules set up the christmas trivia i'm excited about it okay so let's do it
01:01:44
[Music] the person who gets five questions right
01:01:50
wins five the person who hits the buzzer first will answer the question you guys cannot
01:01:58
go over like in the price is right this time so if you go over the the number that's what it should have
01:02:04
been you go over it doesn't count just like the price is right and if you guys fight the judge you lose
01:02:09
that point okay go ahead oh so these are just numbers what are these questions just all
01:02:15
involving numbers no he's just saying he's setting it up setting up the rules in case there is a numbered question because you yelled about it last time
01:02:20
right right okay is it there's an abc are they multiple choice no just listen up
01:02:26
no multiple choices here all right who's going to pay attention to the buzzers i will and in case there is like an
01:02:31
arbitration uh i'll have a set of eyes here with george uh calling it oh by the way and
01:02:36
if you buzz in prematurely before the question is done you can't answer yeah correct you have to wait till the
01:02:42
question is done being read all right so first question
01:02:47
in the song frosty the snowman what made frosty come to life
01:02:54
all right andrew um the uh the hat and the scarf when she
01:03:01
put on she put on the hat and the nose and the eyes and the scarf and that made him come to life anal silk hat correct yeah baby
01:03:09
boom all right one for one white people question this is good you don't know frosty the snowman christmas it's all christmas
01:03:15
[Laughter]
01:03:23
okay who spies on kids and reports back to santa
01:03:28
who's spice on kids yeah who spies on kids yeah uh the elves the elf on the shelf
01:03:36
we'll give it to you one one zero yeah she does get it yeah she said elf it's part of the
01:03:41
you know what i mean what christmas decoration was originally made from strands of silver
01:03:50
i got it garland
01:03:55
the store on the top now strands of silver
01:04:00
i just thought about anything i know rudy um the balls the balls no
01:04:06
do you mean the ornaments tinthole tinsel it sounds like a tensile yeah yeah right
01:04:12
yeah we're dumb who played george bailey in the christmas classic it's a wonderful life
01:04:20
[ __ ] what's his name bobby no that was me that was you oh yeah he doesn't have his name
01:04:33
his name is uh time time
01:04:41
anyone that's his last name jim jimmy oh come on guys
01:04:48
well i know we all know who it is i just i couldn't get it out dimmestore damn it jimmy stewart do i
01:04:54
knew that but i had everything doesn't the voice come forward no death encounter jimmy store jimmy
01:05:00
stewart damn it what christmas beverage is also known as milk punch damn it bobby eggnog
01:05:07
yup [ __ ] okay one of santa's reindeer shares a name
01:05:15
with a famous symbol of valentine's day which reindeer is that
01:05:21
yes cupid yep correct two points
01:05:29
you're a poor loser and it's ugly dude you're the poorest winner you're the poorest winner when you win you rub it in people's face
01:05:36
it's disgusting it's disgusting see when you get gifts get gifts you throw in three dollars
01:05:42
that's [ __ ] it doesn't matter with the heart you thought not about it at all shut up
01:05:47
go ahead george or andres what southeast asian country boasts the longest holiday season
01:05:54
starting with decorations and carols as early as september and celebrations that last sometimes
01:05:59
until january i was first ready i was first i think rudy was rudy was first he's looking
01:06:06
yeah philippines correct i swear to god i was it's only
01:06:12
appropriate though i swear to god i was surprised look at the back of the thing okay we'll we'll do we'll do
01:06:23
[Music] two two one what christmas themed
01:06:28
ballet premiered in san pedersburg russia in 1892 we're out no i got it we both did it
01:06:34
before the question's over we both no we no i'm doing it he didn't finish the question i already know the answer
01:06:40
we both did you can't answer when he's not done you can't do it she's the only one that can try i don't know well then it's not that i
01:06:46
get to do it i get to do it right no yes yes yes yes nutcracker that since we said the question doesn't
01:06:52
count if we if we pause it this is it yeah i can [ __ ] buzz cuz she missed it
01:06:57
and i just got it the nutcracker two two two two go [ __ ] yourself see you're the shittiest you're the shittiest of all right i'm
01:07:04
not even winning yeah i know but you're a brat you're a little [ __ ] fat you see how angry you get for no [ __ ] reason do you know because you said [ __ ]
01:07:10
you therapy did you say [ __ ] you [ __ ] you go ahead because of this bad behavior you
01:07:15
both uh get one point uh taken away from you so it's two for rudy one one i hope you like what you did you did
01:07:21
that no you did you sh you couldn't let go the first [ __ ] you said f you to me
01:07:26
you could have let that go you didn't have to say it idiot that's a warning okay so
01:07:33
we're gonna lose this [ __ ] i know what's the best christmas candy
01:07:39
bobby no it was me candy canes now what's the best christmas according
01:07:45
to whoo yeah bobby candy corn this place can be
01:07:50
it's halloween halloween rudy i don't know um god if she gets it uh
01:07:57
i'm gonna be so pissed off she doesn't even know um snickers snickers yeah it's snickers
01:08:03
it's a snickers correct one point for rudy so annoying that's
01:08:10
not it no it i'm sure it is is it really it is snickers they have it written down
01:08:16
okay uh in charles dickens a christmas carol what would mr scrooge's first name
01:08:23
okay andrew ebenezer correct three wait is it three two one correct
01:08:31
what traditional christmas decoration is actually a parasitic plant i got it
01:08:39
you didn't make any noise yeah it did my yours didn't make any noise yes uh bobby got it first but he didn't
01:08:45
make any noise but i saw it so i bagged the first go ahead yeah correct three two two which fairy tale inspire
01:08:52
the first gingerbread houses under hansel and gretel correct [ __ ] yes
01:09:00
three three two i'm gonna lose i don't know much about christmas what animated 2004 film is about a train
01:09:07
that carries kids to the north pole on christmas eve andrew uh the polar express
01:09:14
correct what is it now three four two um did you know that
01:09:21
answer yeah but i forgot the name step it up what's the most fun christmas tradition
01:09:30
yes opening presents
01:09:41
just as long as she wins i'm happy that's what he's doing yeah that's a that's all i care ugh 4-4-2
01:09:49
where was baby jesus born i got it rudy i got it
01:09:55
um um jerusalem no no bethlehem he wasn't next yes
01:10:03
yes i was next he was i was next bethlehem
01:10:11
oh this jerusalem i don't know jerusalem it's not wrong
01:10:19
it's not right it's not right yeah yeah yeah close enough jerusalem does he have more i do let's
01:10:25
do another one i won but let's do another one no no no no no no no you didn't win it's not over yeah won five let's do best of ten
01:10:31
who was the star of the christmas movie jingle all the way
01:10:36
andrew uh
01:10:41
tim allen ain't correct i don't remember i i don't the [ __ ] is a jingle all the way
01:10:46
it's a movie i know tim allen was the santa claus it was arnold schwarzenegger i remember
01:10:52
that what's wrong with me which food do you leave for santa
01:10:58
go ahead rudy rudy cookies and milk correct he loves when she gets it right correct
01:11:06
he does his little spanish correcto correcto he doesn't do it for us as the clock chimes midnight in the new
01:11:13
years a spanish tradition involves eating 12 of what one for each
01:11:18
time no can rudy go ahead grapes correct
01:11:31
why i don't know anything in the movie elf it's not in my it's not in the movie elf you know this movie
01:11:38
peter dinklage he's in it
01:11:43
you know he got leg lengthening really yeah which country started a tradition of
01:11:51
putting up a christmas tree yes i'm gonna say canada nope damn
01:11:59
bobby germany correct germany look at that
01:12:06
it's not germany yeah it is it weighs germany it is germany is it really germany it is they do have
01:12:12
a lot of um they do have a lot of like uh german terms in christmas santa claus
01:12:20
you could use any word and put a german accent through it
01:12:27
no but they did but like santa claus that was like a big i think it was a german thing it is
01:12:33
right isn't it yes what is the most popular meal for christmas in japan
01:12:43
yes uh noodles no bobby chicken pot pie
01:12:50
no sushi no kfc fried chicken i knew that they love kfc over there
01:12:58
have you never you know know about this there's more kfc franchises there than anywhere else in the world japanese love kfc yeah we turn into them into fried
01:13:05
chicken and [ __ ] hiroshima all right next question okay
01:13:10
so do you guys know a lot about uh presidents which president established christmas as a national holiday
01:13:18
yes teddy roosevelt no yes eisen eisenhower no
01:13:25
is it still lincoln no it's a ulysses s grant oh
01:13:32
how many points does the snoke flake traditionally have andrew
01:13:41
seven no eight no six
01:13:48
six six six rudy rudy's catching up shut up
01:13:55
no but don't shut up but keep reading [Laughter] what bing crosby song is the
01:14:01
best-selling single ever bobby white christmas correct that's
01:14:06
good what christmas movie sequel includes a cameo by donald trump
01:14:12
i know what is it it's home alone yes it's all lost in new york donald trump is in lost in new york alone correct
01:14:19
yeah and he kisses macaulay culkin on the mouth when he says goodbye he goes i gotta go
01:14:26
merry christmas yeah he kisses him what words follow sadly night in the sun
01:14:33
yes holy night correct i'm running i'm running away with this
01:14:40
miracle on 34th street what a movie is based on what real life store uh department store yes
01:14:48
macy's correct okay it looks like so only one person here enjoys christmas i love it
01:14:55
okay i try rudy he tried so hard to sabotage he took away points from us and
01:15:00
everything the spaniard you can never trust a spaniard dude honestly
01:15:06
it's just you're just embedded in like white midwest ritualistic things like [ __ ]
01:15:11
christmas i was never exposed to that we didn't have a christmas tree everything that i learned is through just like glimpses of media
01:15:18
you know same thing you're you guys had the christmas tree and guys you
01:15:23
never had a christmas tree your whole childhood you guys had did you have a christmas tree when you were a kid yeah yeah okay all right so she's so what i'm saying i
01:15:29
know my point though is is that it's just completely unfair because it's a tradition that i didn't grow well let's do a tradition that you grew up with that i
01:15:35
didn't then there is no tradition alcoholism i i did grow up with that [Laughter]
01:15:41
wait a minute how old were you when you guys finally got a tree i think we got one but it was never
01:15:47
decorated and it stayed in our living room for like a year and a half because no one would ever so and then my mom used to put like it
01:15:53
was like a real tree yeah and then my mom used to hang clothes on the like the barren branches to dry yeah so it became
01:16:01
like a drying rack a drying rack and for like a year and a half it was just sitting there you know i mean in the living room with
01:16:08
like socks and [ __ ] drawing on it how long did you have the christmas tree up for for a couple years and then we're like
01:16:14
after that we find my dad finally oh [ __ ] it i'm gonna take it down he chopped it down what yeah and then we never had one
01:16:21
after that why did you ever get gifts though yeah my dad would go like christmas we'd sit around we
01:16:27
wouldn't have any of the traditional i don't even know what food you would eat but we would sit around and my dad would go
01:16:33
yeah merry christmas and he would give you an envelope full of cash and i would go buy weed with it how much
01:16:40
money would you get in the envelope 300 bucks and he'd be like that's it merry christmas merry christmas no gifts open up in the morning there was no like
01:16:46
you never had one merry christmas none of this magical [ __ ] that you guys grew up with but when i watch it when i like right
01:16:52
now we have two trees in our house real or fake they're real and we went and bought it you know what i mean and
01:16:58
we went i picked we [ __ ] lugged it in the house yeah and then her and klyla and juliana spent
01:17:05
all night with all the decorations and i just sit there and watch and i go you know i wanna
01:17:10
i don't wanna be like you know um i want to get involved you know made the
01:17:17
best i can because i just don't but i don't know much about the culture or the rituals of it so i
01:17:23
just kind of like i do the best i can but at the end of the day i'm dead inside when it comes to the
01:17:29
holiday season no you're not i am i don't care you i don't care okay you know so when we
01:17:37
play games like this um i i play along and the answers that i have are just out of just
01:17:43
just stuff that maybe i gathered by listening to a song one day or at a mall right but like nothing that i
01:17:49
you know i mean grew up you know learning does it make christmas movies i don't i've never seen any of them
01:17:55
yeah you have i haven't have you ever seen miracle on 34th street i don't even know what it is but some
01:18:01
movies fall into the category of christmas movie even though they're not right what home alone is a christmas movie even though it's i saw a predator
01:18:07
once that's a good christmas movie yeah yeah like the first one what about like uh uh what about like
01:18:12
planes trains and automobiles great movie great movie but that was more of a
01:18:17
thanksgiving movie i think it was home for christmas thanksgiving was it yeah it was you know
01:18:23
why because the fat lady yeah that was at that gobble gobble you're right okay that was all right let
01:18:29
me think of another christmas movie by heart die hard was a christmas movie die hard too no die hard the original was a
01:18:35
christmas movie yeah i did see that one but you can't learn much from it
01:18:41
you learn how to like i mean what do you mean like you could the only thing i learned from die hard about christmas is you could run on broken glass with bare
01:18:48
feet hell yeah yeah yeah you can climb through events in nakatomi tower yeah i had never heard of the term yipikaya before
01:18:55
well no one had yeah didn't he make that up on that movie i think that's a yipikaya is an old western term you have a
01:19:01
[ __ ] isn't it yes he combined the two yeah he made it
01:19:06
a [ __ ] yeah that's his but yipikaya is a yeah but you love westerns you said you love westerns that's like i know but i'm
01:19:13
just saying though that uh christmas movies i i don't mean to bring anyone down when people are
01:19:18
say merry christmas or i've bought gifts from people i just my honest feeling about it is is that i
01:19:25
i've never gotten the christmas spirit and i wish i could get it but maybe you can try this year i
01:19:30
i [ __ ] it up by one of my best buddy that couldn't eat you sure did i couldn't even get you a [ __ ] gift man you sure did i mean are you going to
01:19:37
make up for it at some point [ __ ] you thank you that's my i don't know i just did that i know why
01:19:42
why because it's a defense mechanism it is it's sad for showing how much you actually love me i love you it's fine i love you too i
01:19:49
really do i love you i know it's the end of the year i want to say how much i love and appreciate you guys this is the
01:19:55
christmas spirit is giving and i want to give you guys um a little gift uh if you uh andres
01:20:02
reach under your seat there and see i've left you a little gift under there do you see it oh yeah and george look under your seat
01:20:09
did you get it it's incredible you're welcome what is
01:20:15
it it's just a little something from me to the crew oh god wow i got a gift too what about from
01:20:21
bobby did you get the guys anything yeah but mine is in the mail you know you use ups is backed up right now
01:20:27
they are perfect they are so mine's arriving a little late okay well i want to say thank you to all
01:20:34
you guys i also want to say thank you to the fans because we mean it we love you guys it's uh we're we're not a year yet but it's
01:20:40
this has been a fun journey i hope everyone has a great holiday you know um i mean that uh i have to be honest
01:20:47
with you okay may i please christmas 100 christmas spirit
01:20:52
spirit um people are going to be watching this around the fireplace with their families merry christmas to you and and loved ones and may you have a jolly time
01:20:59
we should also say happy kwanzaa and and um but i wanna say wait j2 plus is texting
01:21:07
me hold on oh yeah that makes more sense
01:21:13
i want to say i want to say um i don't know how long we've been doing this podcast 45 weeks
01:21:20
yeah but um i remember you know um i was thinking about doing one with
01:21:26
other people at one point yeah and i just couldn't get myself to do it i don't the motivation wasn't
01:21:31
there yeah and when andrew came along um although my gut said no no i'm being
01:21:39
this is gonna come out good okay i said no and uh my head said maybe um
01:21:46
my heart said yes and i said you know what i just for some
01:21:52
instinctually i think this is maybe the way to go and once we started doing it
01:21:57
um i was grateful for it because um i
01:22:04
i i don't know if that's love i don't know if it's hate but there's something there between us
01:22:11
that's bubbling yeah underneath the surface and um we could kill each other but um or we
01:22:18
could make love you know that's the magic of it it is you know um but i'm really um really happy that i
01:22:25
did it with you i'm happy that i did it with you okay so look at me
01:22:31
happy holidays happy holidays and your family and everybody else thank
01:22:38
you thank you for being a bad friend
01:22:52
[Music]
01:23:03
yes
