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hey guys uh the moment house live episode we did is only around for a couple more days couple more days you
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can go to momenthouse.com bad friends moment house dot com slash bad friends you can see the live episode we did and
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look on look at the reviews people loved it it was it's one of our best episodes of all time thousands and thousands if
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you don't watch it now you can they watch it again you can re if you watched it originally you can replay it as many
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times because you buy if you buy it you can re-watch it yeah and it's only available for a couple more days i think maybe till the end of the week yeah but
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go to momenthouse.com bad friends the link is in the description below watch the live so we can do more of those
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lives because we had so much fun [Music]
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doc doc we're going to give you a vaccine so you don't get sick anymore doc oh my mom's here how much did you sell a
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gram of crackpot
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don't come out mushy
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[Laughter] [Music]
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you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude i'm an asian dude
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you two are disgusting oh you two or something we're bad friends
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announcement um
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you know we have a schedule we book you know people that do our podcast it's kind of like not a big deal but you know it's a big
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deal it's a big deal yeah it's a big deal you know we give them a platform yeah right we don't have a lot of people
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come on speaking of a guy that definitely needs platforms right figuratively literally yeah yeah yeah
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doc willis decided once again to not just book today 10 minutes before we're shooting he's
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sick not with kovid but with a mysterious illness because fancy what did he say allegedly he ate something
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bad so we took him to a fancy restaurant this is who doc willis is in san diego like ace a steakhouse high-end high-end
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steakhouse right on the same night that of my show where he did 35 minutes exactly when he was supposed
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to do 10. maybe seven minutes and we just found out that um he snuck
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away from the steak house and went to 7-eleven and got their taquitos
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right and those are like 45 cents yeah yeah meanwhile we bought him an 85 85 t-bone steak
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right so so he's sick with stomach flu or something yeah no so he says he eats
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terribly do you believe it do you believe that he's sick i well because i got to tell you
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something oh come on drew you know alcohol poisoning sick yeah from wine yeah let's see if he's got to say
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something for himself let's get mad be mad let's drill him
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oh are you calling him now you call him now if you call him consecutively now he'll know like something's up
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i know but if he picks up with me would you be mad or not yeah you got to draw him oh would i be upset that he picked up for you yeah no because uh
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he's probably not wanting to answer but then he sees if we both called he thinks something's going on okay here we go well let's leave him a message a harsh
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one okay but i feel like i'm gonna go hard and then you're gonna back off
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no i'm not i'm gonna go hard too but you want me to open though oh yes you're calling okay what's up fam
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leave a voicemail doc willis just leave a message and i'll get back to you as soon as possible
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you know doc um a couple years ago when i was doing this podcast with andrew um
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i thought you know what dude you popped in my head i'm like i'm gonna help this [ __ ] guy out man i'm gonna put him on my popular [ __ ]
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podcast and i want to resurrect or whatever you know what i mean and we've done you a
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[ __ ] favor dude we put you on our podcast at your family and let me say something to you man you
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[ __ ] betray us bro bro when we book you right please [ __ ]
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show up man you would show up to amazon or whatever that [ __ ] warehouse that you [ __ ] work at you would show up
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for like your [ __ ] fat fat [ __ ] right
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what you know right you would show up to a liquor store if they were gonna close at two in the [ __ ] morning dude well
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you your little tummy hurts bro you [ __ ] [ __ ] fast
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face hey buddy uh i i hope you're uh getting
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better uh get well soon we'll see you soon
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i mean we gave it to him we hammered that guy bro i'm telling you we gave that guy something to think
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about bro let me tell you something dude he's not a joke he's going to remember that now for the rest i have to call him
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back now what are you talking about i have to call him back now no we hammered him no no no you didn't i look like an
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[ __ ] no no you said that you would [ __ ] do it with me dude you were beating him up and then i came in at the end oh god good cop cop yes no yeah yeah
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because we're not police officers isn't that crying well they defunded us but i got to tell you yeah we had we we
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manhandled him right there no no this was like he was rodney king i was the guy hitting him right and
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you're at the [ __ ] i drove back to the stage yeah you're back at the station cause i was like what they're doing
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i don't know what's going on out there yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah no i gotta call him back that's [ __ ] [ __ ] dude
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oh you want me to hammer him now yeah i'm wrong okay i'm gonna give it to him now he's going
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to answer on this at this point no i'm just going to apologize you don't have to hammer him no we should hammer him again no no because you're going to
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open it you want no you go ahead and do do what you have to do do what you think is right i don't know
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why you think you need to call him back i think we got no i know because the thing is i sound like an [ __ ] i don't i think he's going to feel literally bad
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he's probably going to watch the episode and know that you're that you're just teasing but you should leave like a heartfelt
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real message a hammer my fur like hammer room up top no no i already hammered
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you reach doc willis leave the message and i'll get back to you we're going to be so sad if we found out like he's dying yeah yeah
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anyway i'm sorry you know that was a little too far um
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i hope your little belly feels better and you know if you need anything i'm
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busy but i could suggest pepto bismol emmodium 80. call me if you need anything you can
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call me and andrew wants to say something
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you're fired [Music] [Laughter]
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get better doc willis we hope he's better the guys literally had covered more time than i thought you could get cover yeah
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i i didn't think you could get it more than four times i'm not joking i've never even heard that i read an article
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i don't think you can how many times what's the maximum amount of time somebody's got in coconut for real yeah because honestly i bet you the ceiling
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is like three and they're like after that you didn't get it again yeah you can get covered up to
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what people have yeah multiple times yeah what's the most times people have gotten coveted with the most the the most
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somebody's gotten covered i just i was on the phone with uh joe derosa he 43. 43 is not real not
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real there's no one positive 43 times yeah okay okay okay but yeah that's not yeah yeah yeah that's still a lot
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dave's he's driving this look at him and he's still smiling he lost an eye because of it yeah look at him poor guy yeah go
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down a little bit let me see what it says there dave72 uh is a driving instructor and a musician who spent the last 10 months
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with an active coronavirus infection visiting hospital seven times the immune system was vulnerable to the virus after leukemia diagnosis they came with the
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great so he's sick said this is sad so he just had he just had it 72 times in one gigantic covens i
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think he just did it like he probably did like 40 one day and then 32 the other day right he just kept testing
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over and over oh my god bobby lee bobby lee what top gun
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you saw let me say this top gun yeah
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not kidding the best movie i've seen action movie i've seen in years in
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years i told you right no i know but dude it's so good no beyond yeah miles teller [ __ ] amazing you're cemented
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forever as one of the best actors to ever live yeah yeah the kid is done he did it yeah he could quit now and be fine after fantastic four stick
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and i mean i know fantastic four's like one of the worst movies yeah but what else would he even was good
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phenomenal amazing guy hit it out of the park yeah yeah very talented guy but yeah top gun was so good yeah that i'm not
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kidding i did this during some of the performance yeah get him shoot him yeah dude it was the the dog
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fights i want i was just so lucky i nev because you know i always go to the fancy one so i do the chair thing me too
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right i go to the chair and i go lean back right for top gun i didn't i lent i didn't lean it back lean forward and i
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was leaning forward like that the whole time yeah that's so dope and if i if tom cruise's dick was right here dude yeah i
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would have sucked it what is this i want to be a scientist what are you doing playing this in the middle of a thing hold on hold on
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can we do this conversation and you do the clip fancy is on the same he's he is going to get fired yeah what is going on
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with you guys all right no tom let me say this tom cruise i'm i am dead serious i'm i will join
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scientology i will join scientology did he do a welcome thing in your movie yes and it made me smile yeah and we all cheered
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the theater i've never seen that before well hello i'm tom cruise he goes hey hey we did this for you this is all for
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you and i guess me everyone clapped right i went me me tom cruise yeah for me everyone
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clapped in the theater literally people were like yeah tom yeah he's the last movie star he's the last he is one of the last
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moves he's the last action star sorry he is the last action star because if daniel craig is done with
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dub seven then that's it yeah he really is the last because because the rock doesn't count anymore the rock is uh
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bigger than he's like a i don't know he's he's like amazon he's too big now
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the rock is the biggest there is he's a movie star but not an action star anymore he's an
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action star no because now when you see the rock in action movies they're always kitschy like dark shazam or whatever
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that movie is yeah they're always kitchen they're called dark shazam
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that was the alternative name for black adam was dark shazam i literally thought it was dark shazam the studio was like should we call it
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dark shazam yeah this is the problem this is the problem
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yeah yeah i had a friend growing up named black adam um this is the problem
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with this when you see the rock in films you only see the rock that doesn't transform anymore yeah tom
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cruise still yeah was maverick in that [ __ ] movie yeah when you saw it you were like mavis
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back like when i look at it is that ethan hunt i don't think that i don't think that but when the rock's on i go
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that's that's the rock i don't care if he's a lawyer he's a rock but he's not a lawyer because a lawyer never looks like that that's insane but doesn't he do
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some serious movies or no he's never done like a lawyer thing or every time he does like one of these buddy comedies with kevin hart or whatever they they do
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have like sweet moments yeah but he's got to do i want him to do a movie where there's no action this is going to
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be the [ __ ] task he's doing san andreas too they're doing that one they're banging that one out again another earthquake
00:11:39
doc savage do you know what that is what doc savage is uh the man of bronze
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what yeah the man of bronze you don't know this no this is a this is real i do know what this is
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it's a scientist uh created him as like the original superhero it's it's yeah
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yeah they're just another action they're grasping they're they're digging as deep as they can because like when tom cruise was in magnolia he played you know what
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i mean unbelievable right unbelievable not an action movie nope his acting was superb
00:12:09
super movie right so i think the rock needs to do something like that but can he do it here's the the problem is the
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muscle the muscles he's gonna do what he's gonna do what [ __ ] what's his name did for the machinist because he should be uh yeah he's gonna lose he's
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gonna no he's gonna weigh like 70 pounds dude if the rock lost
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we got down to 70 pounds right well i'd be dead yeah and just the movie was called the gnarliest hiv i don't know no yeah
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hip city or i don't know what like he's sick what's another show what's another city outside of philadelphia yeah yeah
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philadelphia my bad yeah it could be uh baltimore west chester pennsylvania yeah
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yeah west chester yeah i can't say that so just say baltimore ball well you can't say west chester say west
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westchester westchester pennsylvania anyway um if he did like you know got down to 70 pounds no he can't hold him
00:13:02
he could he weighs like 300 people if he wants an oscar he can no chance you just gotta look you know
00:13:07
what he needs to do 260 pounds let's say he gets down to a hundred pounds yeah
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okay we'll do that as a producer i go okay that's the lip that's like the highest you can go 125 give him 125.
00:13:20
all right he'll still look bad he'll look unbelievably bad you'll look bad yeah yeah at 125 and then you think he
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can get an oscar and then yeah for westchester the movie westchester because that alone i think because you know they'll eat that up the
00:13:32
rock gets monkey he's getting meth his method right yeah a monkey pox he gets that he gets them he gets the monkey
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pops right and he's eating him alive and so he is in the movie he's used to he is an old
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action hero who gets monkey pox he can't fight anymore and no no no he can't no he's got to be
00:13:48
no because that's already gonna in my mind is gonna be like ah he's still doing right trying right so he's gotta be
00:13:54
something that he's never like we can't even foresee him doing
00:14:00
something out of the box like he's like what could he have been doing uh he
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he has a uh he's a florist you ever seen the movie the florist no
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really have you seen the movie the florist you've never seen this no such a good movie okay what all right
00:14:20
then forget the flu you've never seen the florist no it's wonderful it's a wonderful film okay good good um
00:14:27
i've never seen it okay right but it's low but lower post give me another job not what's even why can't
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he be a florist he works at the airport he's a baggage handler he's someone that works at a kiosk in a
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mall he doesn't yeah he doesn't he doesn't i don't know what he does perfumes in nordstrom's he has a kiosk at the mall
00:14:43
but you know what it is huh he does fluffy the gabriel yes merch yeah
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yeah he sells gabriel glaciers merch at the mall right so he has the bobblehead
00:14:54
posters right right and um so in the movie he he still we got to bring him down to 150
00:15:00
in the beginning of the movie yeah right and then is fluffy losing the weight with him are they doing well there's a team fluffy's in it oh and fluffy has
00:15:07
monkey pox okay for the fluffy has monkey pie is that how the rock got monkey pox yeah [ __ ] him to that wow yeah but we're
00:15:13
not doing a comedic way what do you mean oh it's love it's pure love okay because the rock is a huge fan
00:15:20
his character let's call him david no why it's just not all right don't give me like a bible name give me
00:15:26
something else keto his name is keto he knows because that's very islandy
00:15:32
what's wrong he's from the island what do you mean he's [ __ ] got samoan vlot always russian
00:15:38
well just we don't ever explain it yeah yeah vlad what's his last name
00:15:43
perez perez we do two different he's russian he's russian spanish yeah because
00:15:49
acting's so good yeah vlad perez he's got to be kind of a half mexican
00:15:55
because of gabriel right that's how he rides a circle he's a huge gabriel
00:16:00
glaciers fan right and he has this and then one day gabriel is playing some sort of stadium next door dodger he's at
00:16:06
dodger stadium let's shoot it in l.a i'll let you know already here yeah yeah all right so he's playing dodger stadium
00:16:12
dodger stadium but he wants to see how his kiosk is doing he's he's stopped by westfield mall yeah
00:16:19
in sherman oaks yeah yes no the mall in west covina oh yeah okay
00:16:25
that's even better okay i could believe that yeah yeah so gabriel bounces in
00:16:30
wobbles it or whatever i don't know how he walks i think they push him i think yeah yeah yeah remember how they rolled violet when she got swollen in willy
00:16:37
wonka and they put her over i love gabriel so i want to make fun of him i love him we're just teasing okay so he comes and he kind of
00:16:44
rolls in [Laughter] and you know he's vlad sees him yeah and
00:16:51
he's nervous because that's his idol right but then gabriel there's an attraction instant attraction
00:16:58
he's like i love this right he doesn't show up to his gig he he doesn't go to dodger stadium so we
00:17:04
cut to a scene right everyone's there right you just cut into
00:17:10
right some hotel next to the [ __ ] west covina and they're it's like a 30 minute love scene we'll see this listen
00:17:16
it's going fluffy fluffy and then and then you know cross
00:17:21
cut two fluffy fluffy fluffy and they're made and they're making love it's so good they're making itself you know what
00:17:26
i want to do some cgi [ __ ] i should direct this right you know do i get to [ __ ] dp yeah or dp it right i want to
00:17:33
do a thing where you know how um i don't know if you saw fight club but you know how they zoom in i don't know if you saw
00:17:38
a fight club named one guy that's never seen all right you know you've seen fly club yeah
00:17:44
better right yeah you know fight club yeah you know fight club right you know how um fincher would zoom into the back
00:17:50
of the refrigerator and you know man do all those like really intricate so i want to do that with blood vessels
00:17:56
oh wow right yeah fluffy right and you put the camera
00:18:01
inside the mouth and you go in and you see the monkey pox oh bubbling yeah i mean they're
00:18:07
bubbling dude they're [ __ ] bubble wait what
00:18:12
are there real monkeys no but we would use like they would the noise you hear when the monkey box is
00:18:18
spreading is monkey noise you know what we do we would slow down real monkey noises
00:18:23
so they would you know be ambiguous but you wouldn't get what i'm saying we will
00:18:31
so we go into the mouth right you see the [ __ ] blood right it's coming down gabriel's you know i
00:18:37
mean it's a long travel yeah i'm not a fat joke it's not a fat joke
00:18:56
goes out the penis and into vlad perez yeah the monkey pox the monkey box right
00:19:02
and then i don't do i don't know he's pregnant with a monkey no because he's just got that no no i
00:19:09
thought that's how you get pregnant no no yeah no it's not [ __ ] and he's a guy that would not make any
00:19:14
sense what are you talking about 2022 papa anything can happen at this point okay you want to incorporate that yeah i
00:19:20
mean make this movie fantasy if we're going to be fantasy okay how about this though so he gets pregnant with his baby here's the coke then and he's like you
00:19:25
got to lose all this weight perez we think he's a guy but he's really a woman transitioning
00:19:33
but he didn't get all the parts so vlad is
00:19:38
vlad is transitioning into becoming a man yes but she still has the women parts so
00:19:44
she can he can still give birth right and so i guess gabriel's [ __ ] him from behind okay right because he
00:19:51
doesn't know there's a [ __ ] there and he instead this is good stuff
00:19:56
this is good stuff the fans are gonna love this i think is that right how do we get from him not discovering that his
00:20:01
dick is in the butthole not the vagina he can't see it exactly it's dark
00:20:08
two ways to look at that but yeah yeah anyway we'll figure that out we'll figure it out well right so he gets
00:20:14
monkey pox and he gets pregnant is that what you're saying correct and in order to have the baby the doctor says you need to lose all this weight
00:20:20
and so he then needs but i thought the whole thing that he was losing because we were basically on philipadelphia too that he would got sick from the monkey
00:20:26
pox and that's what this is a good i'm creatively working it out oh we're gonna okay so how about a combination right the monkey
00:20:33
puck is [ __ ] his body up right yeah plus the baby right yeah is [ __ ] his
00:20:38
her body hitting it the monkey the monkey baby it's a monkey oh yeah
00:20:43
so it's a sci-fi a little bit yeah i didn't know so the monkey part
00:20:49
i know what it is here's the ear as a director to check it out yeah please director the monkey box is going through
00:20:54
uh gabriel's body right out the penis and it joins them with regular sperm
00:20:59
sure right so we see all that the [ __ ] monkey parks and the sperm colliding
00:21:06
right like it's a traffic traffic trap they're merging they're merging and they one of them
00:21:12
they join together right and then we go into um vlad's body yeah and you can see this
00:21:19
now it looks like sperm but it's got hair on it and it's kind of like you
00:21:25
yeah yeah it looks like yeah it looks like it's got hair in fact i'll do an andy circus thing and i'll do the [ __ ] green screen stuff where's your
00:21:31
face yeah i mean i mean i mean you don't even have to do that but i could do the wiggles better help
00:21:38
life can be overwhelming andrew yes it can and many people are burned out without even knowing it i was burned out many times during the covid and even
00:21:45
after that recently i was burned out i had some things happening in my life and i had to turn to better help and get
00:21:51
therapy you know symptoms can include lack of motivation my friend irritability fatigue and even more i
00:21:57
think i have a lot of these things that's why i do the other day you probably remember i did you were burned i said i'm burned out yeah i called you
00:22:02
i was bummed i was super low and i said you got to talk to fancy because i can't listen to his stupid accent anymore that's what he actually said that's what
00:22:08
i literally said but i gotta tell you therapy has helped us uh has helped me on a personal note i i like it i think
00:22:13
it's uh doing something like this is tr is traditionally cheaper than doing in-person therapy which i i enjoy a lot
00:22:19
and i want to do it from the comfort of my home because i don't like driving somewhere far away to wait in a waiting office it's customized online therapy
00:22:25
that offers video phone and even live chat sessions with your therapist so you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to that's kind of the
00:22:31
best part is that you can choose uh whether you see someone and talk to someone face to face you also can pick a
00:22:36
new professional licensed therapist if the one you're assigned isn't working with you it's much more affordable and you
00:22:42
can get matched with someone in under 48 hours and listen our listeners are gonna get 10 off their first month at betterhelp.com bad friends that's better
00:22:49
he lp.com bad friends hello fresh hello fresh hello fresh you know what i
00:22:56
love hello fresh it makes me feel like a chef well because you get farm fresh ingredients delivered to your door and
00:23:01
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meal kit thing you know that you ever see that movie at the mask jim carrey's the man no not the jim carrey month the
00:24:34
no i've never seen this movie is this it what happens in this film oh that guy
00:24:41
that guy yeah yeah that's eric that's eric staltz yeah is he alive who the character's not the real guy
00:24:47
that's based on dies like in the movie oh he does yeah what's his name again
00:24:53
there is a real guy yeah that was based on a real guy that guy that's the guy right there yeah that's a
00:24:58
guy right there it was elephant man right yeah rocky dennis no i think he's not elephant english
00:25:03
what is this guy then this is alpha mantu the sequel the second one yeah got it yeah
00:25:09
yeah you got that right there i still ever watch it be nice
00:25:15
hello so anyway um that kind of looks like me maybe we can
00:25:21
it kind of does that kind of looks like yeah so anyway like there's enough qualities i have a i have like a wide face like that
00:25:27
and red hair we'll talk about that later but uh can we finish the movie sure all right so the baby comes out hair on it
00:25:33
right and it could be sort of like a heartfelt moment like like a rocky dennis thing
00:25:38
where it's like you know i mean vlog raising this kid and it could be all about like bullying
00:25:44
and we can put fuse all that stuff in there so that's we're trying to get vlad we're trying to get we got to get himself the rock a [ __ ] oscar here
00:25:50
right right so don't worry about it monko monko is his name yeah he's the kids
00:25:55
kids maybe i don't know well that's not going to talk about bullying at all what that's not going to help the bullying yeah monko
00:26:02
you named him uncle is that too close i think it's right on the money yeah oh it's too close you'd have to name him
00:26:07
something well you throw out because you're helping you write this you mean not right um chimp chimpy chimpy
00:26:13
is chimpy better rangy rangi rangi rangi we're angry and he has red hair he's right
00:26:18
right you know they call us yeah australia and in the you know the kid monkey pox baby little rangy ranillo
00:26:25
ranking my bad bad is eight years old bullied comes home with a black eye and vlad could do like hey kiddo hey
00:26:32
ranky i mean dad can we change my name i don't like rangi why not
00:26:38
i don't know i just do you don't think he would like that name no i'm i'm i'm i'm i'm saying oh yeah oh you're doing dialogue yeah why not um because it just
00:26:45
seems cause the kids make fun of me and you know so that's true fight back okay
00:26:52
i will because i have monkey strength that's exactly right like a chimp strength you have chimp strength whoa no no thumbs
00:27:00
but you have strength you have strength you have a lot of strength right and then maybe there's a moment where he fights back and and guess what guess who
00:27:07
shows up to help him fight the rock the rock so you can fuse in a little bit of the
00:27:13
action at the end so the kid's getting bullied and the rock shows up right and he literally and i mean we should shoot
00:27:19
it this way yeah beats the [ __ ] out of a bunch of eight-year-olds and i mean like pummels their heads well it wouldn't
00:27:24
seem because he lost a hundred pound i mean he's down to a hundred pounds still got it he's still got it he's still got it yeah the rock never loses that yeah
00:27:31
yeah yeah what's this movie called black adam [Laughter]
00:27:39
but let me but let me show you a video that made me smile that made my heart warm go ahead show them the two little kids by the way this is you want to know
00:27:45
what kind of fans we have we kind of beautiful fans these are the type of fans we have that let their children sing our songs and my
00:27:52
favorite part about this is listen when it comes up to cuss words and watch their faces
00:28:01
[Music]
00:28:12
it's good [Laughter]
00:28:19
[Music] yeah this is awesome
00:28:24
[Music] it's awesome you know let's push pause for a second there's a woman that bought
00:28:30
the rights to happy birthday no yeah i thought it's public domain no somebody bought the rights for it i
00:28:36
think seriously i think this is what i heard i don't know this is true but this is what i heard through just rumor
00:28:41
that an old lady one day just decides you know i wonder if somebody bought that or has the rights of happy birthday
00:28:48
and then bought the rights and then she makes warner chappelle music previously copyrighted the song in u.s and collected fees 2015 the copyright came
00:28:55
was declared invalid and warner spell agreed to pay back 14 million in licensing fees for happy birthday to you
00:29:01
no one's got it now but back in the day i mean in the 50s or something anyway the rumor mill yeah but the thing
00:29:08
is um i want um maybe you know i'll let that one go but oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
00:29:14
no no we did we sent a letter to them they all oh okay yeah we're bringing a suit but here's the here's the here's
00:29:20
the wild [ __ ] yeah they the dad or whoever was like hey man we can't pay this lawsuit because we had
00:29:26
said you always licensing he said how much yeah and i said you know how much one of the kids one of the kids yeah
00:29:32
yeah because we need some we need some help around here because these guys are these guys suck so uh the kid on the right agrees that
00:29:39
he can fill in um and the kid on the left is gonna be his assistant so cool cool yeah get
00:29:45
these [ __ ] guys out of here man i'll tell you that right now these two yeah they're gone my girlfriend sent me something the other day as a joke but i
00:29:52
i looked it up and it's true i want you to i'm going to show you this and i can't believe i even never knew
00:29:58
about this but it's basically um so these two were siamese twins have we
00:30:03
talked about these two no and one of them was gay what's their name
00:30:08
oh but look at uh simon if you think
00:30:18
you know this said if you think your life is bad these are siamese brothers only one of them they just died they
00:30:24
think they died a couple years only one of them is gay but they they have to share one ass
00:30:30
that's insane right yeah no yeah it's true i looked at it but one of
00:30:36
them siamese twins do siamese to it only one of the brothers was gay yeah so you would just have to be gay at some point
00:30:43
well you know i but you know [Laughter] is it true
00:30:49
it says i mean it's all over reddit and stuff wait go down to it let's go down there's got to be a real article
00:31:02
there's no way this is real i mean the photo if you look at the photo one guy is making out with another
00:31:07
man while the other one's just going like the sex life of conjoined twins in the atlantic well what do you would you do i think about that all the time of
00:31:14
like well i'm not whose side are you on what do you mean like let's you and i are siamese twins i'm the gay one right
00:31:20
right and the way they're attached is they're attached at their hips at their hip but they're facing each other
00:31:27
right what's so funny because they're constantly facing each other wait how are we facing each other
00:31:33
if we share a butt that's impossible if we share an ass we can't be facing each other that's they're look at them
00:31:38
they're look look at these two no they're conjoined all right they're nuts below yeah they're their ass is
00:31:45
below us but we you and are facing each other how do you do that how would you do that what do you mean
00:31:50
how would you do what well what would you do if that what so he won't you do so i'm gay i'm making out with my
00:31:56
boyfriend right i would expect you to look away that's what my theory is
00:32:02
no i'd be staring right at you guys no no that's none of your business though you know what i put like a curtain up
00:32:07
like you know i mean like i would get a wall of some sort right or what i would just put on vr headset and
00:32:13
disappear that's what you do yeah if you guys were [ __ ] and i mean it's like well i wouldn't but that's a thing do you have
00:32:19
to ask me every time you get it in the ass do you have to like ask for permission and being your brother coming in hot no no you've got to give me your
00:32:26
brother i wouldn't allow it no spontaneity sex because i don't think they sheer sensation
00:32:32
so nobody would feel it i think one of the brothers feel it i think the other one doesn't imagine you're gay and when
00:32:37
you get [ __ ] ass only i feel it that's what i'm saying right so if you felt the penetration yeah
00:32:43
that would be cruel because i would get nothing out of it nothing yeah you'd be no just knowing that your
00:32:48
brother's getting [ __ ] in the ass isn't that fun enough yeah but you wouldn't want it because you're not gay i know but you're my you're my brother we're fighting all the
00:32:54
time yeah yeah this is payback or child where does the people how is their penis uh situated
00:33:00
dude they must pee yeah of course i mean they probably have up one p maybe they share a penis how
00:33:06
when they're attached by the torso like you share a penis if we jerk off i i chug once you talk once i tug once you
00:33:12
talk once if we switch hands oh we had the one penis yeah like i jerk it then you jerky
00:33:18
we would we would switch days uh one day is your day one yeah that's your day
00:33:23
all right i think that's fine that's fair fine right why so why is it just the individual oh
00:33:29
look see they have two penises yeah honestly yeah i got to tell you what
00:33:35
top gun was the best movie that i've seen years yeah and then jurassic don't watch jurassic park the oh they they did a new one yeah
00:33:43
my friend gene and i walked out of it terrible oh my god wait this is funny what razzle you know razzle yeah he was
00:33:50
in the theater when you were there i know you texted me and i texted bobby and i was like hey why did you walk out
00:33:56
of jurassic park yeah and you and you wrote how do you know that yeah it's weird that you would know that yeah and i and i was
00:34:02
we walk out and we're about to leave the theater and we're like both of us are just appalled by what we it was that bad
00:34:10
here's what it was did you see it yeah what does it gotta do with tomatoes did it make any money though i bet you it made all the all the money yeah so it
00:34:16
doesn't matter it doesn't matter i'm not no i'm happy that they're making the money but it tanked that bad you think it was annoyingly
00:34:23
bad it wasn't bad in a good way dialogue what's the thing that's bad about it no it's just it was basically
00:34:29
two different storylines essentially that was going on and they were merging these two
00:34:34
storylines into one storyline at the end or towards the mid and
00:34:39
the middle act right and it was annoying to watch bat boat but and also it's just certain scene they
00:34:46
just didn't you know some of the takes you know i mean come on that's the take you used it was
00:34:53
like that yeah i i felt like that but pratt's great i like no he was great i'm not going to say anything else but i
00:34:59
don't want to make fun of anybody but um because i know acting's hard but it was um 622 million they're fine what was
00:35:05
the budget you think 300 400 i mean the budget had been [ __ ] i've
00:35:12
had to be like 200 i would say i would say three plus 185 that's without marketing or anything
00:35:18
right so it's got to be two-fifths level yeah here's here's my argument with that god that's so much [ __ ] money
00:35:24
yeah my argument with this if you saw the first jurassic park right when you i know it's a great movie the original
00:35:29
original original original right that scene where they're in the you know i mean the tour van or bus or right yeah
00:35:36
and and you you see the cup and you see the t-rex coming and it it builds that suspense right suspense so when you
00:35:43
actually see the t-rex right it's like oh my god this is so scary it scared me
00:35:49
i remember being like holy [ __ ] but when you open up with just this gigantic sea creature pulling down a [ __ ]
00:35:56
a ship and they're flying around i mean it's like there's no suspense there's no it's
00:36:01
very it's just around right it's very fantasy yeah there's just i mean and and i always imagined when the dinosaurs
00:36:07
actually got into civilization that you could just build that suspense and make it scarier right right so you don't
00:36:14
reveal them as much right you i don't know how you would do it but like there's no magic in this movie there's no magic yeah see that's what that
00:36:20
stinks yeah by the way speaking of philadelphia over the the thing that we just talked about yeah you see tom hanks
00:36:26
came out and said they asked him if he could if he would make phil if like philadelphia could get made today by him you know with him as a
00:36:32
star yeah and he said no and i and i wouldn't and i shouldn't get that role in this day and age yeah but what's so
00:36:39
[ __ ] you're like how can you how can you say that you delivered such a good performance yeah the idea of acting is to take on that's
00:36:46
like saying like so no no straight person can ever play can never play a gay person no gay gay
00:36:52
people made another one he died in the first how would they justify no no he's saying if you tried to [Music]
00:36:58
he comes back to life like jesus resurrects yeah you tried to he gets aids imagine that he gets aids twice
00:37:03
like you didn't [ __ ] protect yourself the first time and also now nowadays you have [ __ ] cocktails and stuff you wouldn't die now what he's saying if you
00:37:10
try to make the movie today oh is that what what do you mean he would they asked him if you mean i don't understand what you're asking me if you tried to
00:37:16
make philadelphia today why would he be in it you're saying he would be a gay actor
00:37:23
they were matt what he's saying is it should be played by not a straight guy but here he is is is not an is anyone to
00:37:30
ask her for that yeah i believe so did he so i don't think he won but he didn't he was nominated right
00:37:35
yeah but also he advanced the conversation so much because of that movie uh everybody but here's here's
00:37:40
what's confusing to me is like i understand the idea of being like gay famous characters should be played by
00:37:46
gay actors today but if you found someone that did it that you couldn't find anybody else that was gay to do
00:37:52
that why couldn't tom hanks do that the whole idea of acting is to take on cheyenne
00:37:58
jackson who's cheyenne jackson he's a friend of mine he's a very talented actor he could do it you think he's he could have done philadelphia better than
00:38:04
tom hanks he's a great actor this is my point just because he's gay doesn't mean he's going to do a better performance than jackson all right so then we should
00:38:10
then you know what yeah shame on tom hanks it should have been cheyenne jackson no no you're right now i can't
00:38:15
in our culture know but what i'm asking you is this john wayne played genghis khan right well i
00:38:21
was okay with that yeah okay but my point is that you know you just
00:38:26
no but i'm saying in this day and age so on what last week if you can't find anybody good enough i got an argument
00:38:31
with my agent last week yeah because they're i'm like i can't see the project because i love the project right
00:38:37
it's a big project say it we'll beep it no i'll tell you later go like this so they can't no no no anyway just say what
00:38:43
it is so they're remaking something that was big in the 80s no way yeah
00:38:50
say every [ __ ] that's every movie right so everything they're doing that right yeah but it's a specific movie
00:38:56
that i was a huge fan of risky business dude let me just [ __ ] finish man no
00:39:02
no no i want to guess okay if you get it right i'll tell you small wonder no
00:39:09
was that tv let me just finish maybe if i give you more details then you will guess that okay so basically robocop
00:39:15
no dude let me just give you the details okay go ahead i'm not gonna kill you right so i i i get the audition i look
00:39:21
at the sides right and i read on it i know a little shop of horrors no
00:39:27
and i go oh i'm not going to read for this because in the movie
00:39:33
where this character was based on in in the 80s it was a little person
00:39:39
and right you think you can't play an lp no i'm just saying i'm not one though of
00:39:46
all the actors i know don't make fun of me i'm not yeah you are you're saying that i'm small no
00:39:51
you're not yeah well you are yeah but i don't look like a little person i'm well i'm proportioned in a different way on
00:39:56
camera sometimes you do what are you guessing willow no because they already did willow
00:40:01
they're doing willow and it's coming out but that's that's exactly what it was it's like them asking me to play that little guy from willow
00:40:08
i don't know if i was holding him a little guy was bad but i'm just saying it's them asking me to do to read for
00:40:13
i'm not gonna get it first of all so when i read it i'm like i'm not gonna get this but why couldn't you do it
00:40:18
because the guy was that was in the original movie was not only a little person he was like 80 years old and he
00:40:24
had an english accent hey right you know i needed a minute there's just no way in my mind i just
00:40:30
like i can't even i don't even know how to approach this do your british accent right now hello perfect you're hired i'd
00:40:36
put you in the movie immediately yeah yeah so yeah it's like that type of a role yeah that legendary yeah and i just
00:40:43
said and i go i know what this is they're going because i know the director right kind of you're right so they're like oh we'll
00:40:49
just see he you know he's we'll just see but they're never going to book me but that's the whole idea of fantasy and film is that you okay here's
00:40:57
my point with you playing a little person right that's a physical difference right that's why i get that
00:41:03
yeah that's like me not playing i'm not gonna play a black guy yeah but in terms of like tom hanks playing a gay person
00:41:09
if sexuality is in truth on a spectrum like everybody wants to promote today why couldn't tom hanks be able to
00:41:14
identify with what that might be like if he has personal experience with it just because he isn't outright gay
00:41:20
i just don't think sexuality can be a determining factor on who can play what what about that's my point what about
00:41:26
dan which actually is the most liberalistic view you can have because i think you shouldn't you shouldn't corner someone and go you can only play this
00:41:32
because you don't identify as this well that seems limited it's acting it's called acting i get i agree with you but
00:41:38
daniel day lewis in uh my left foot could he play that now
00:41:43
well they probably wouldn't let him no i know not my point but do you think that it was wrong for him to play that no
00:41:48
because he was incredible yeah but that's what i'm saying it's like if you spend time dedicating yourself to
00:41:53
something that's what acting literally that's what literally it is otherwise we're going towards a place when you can
00:41:59
only play it if you are exactly the thing yeah and then you're not really playing anything are you you're just
00:42:04
you're not acting at all no then it's not acting then it's called a documentary then it's a docu-series
00:42:10
okay recon this is magic in your errors guys you know magical ears recon wireless
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00:42:33
and it has a little loop for you um this is the new raycon case by the way the other one was a different size i like
00:42:38
this one a little bit better it's sleek and look at these little things they just pop right in your little ear hole yep and then they magnetically go back
00:42:44
in this case easy to travel with um the sound quality is great i like these things when i'm working out and also the
00:42:49
best part is these are fitness earbuds um because you can uh you can work out in these and you're gonna start working out yeah yeah and they're priced just
00:42:56
right man they're like some of these other ones are like you're so expensive for no reason you get quality audio for
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half the price of other premium auto brands they got eight hours of play time and a 32 hour battery life with their compact portable charging over 4 900
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00:43:36
you know steven spielberg's gonna do lincoln too and they want you to play abraham lincoln no but after daniel
00:43:43
after danny d lewis would you do be honest would you do it you know who i would want to play in that movie john
00:43:48
wilkes booth i know but not because i'd be so good now you're not offered that i
00:43:58
they should do a side movie like they did with the joker but with john wilkes booth well you know what you know who i saw in uh um
00:44:05
bring up the cast the top gun real fast you knew who i saw he did a great job but i thought sometimes in the movie when i watch a movie i go
00:44:11
i could have that could have been me um out of the group of kids i'll keep going
00:44:16
show more out of the group of all the new cadets yeah uh one of them um was uh what's his name
00:44:22
son um lewis pullman bill pullman's kid yeah and he plays kind of like a sweet
00:44:27
endearing nerd in the movie he was good in that yeah he was amazing yeah yeah but i looked in the when i was watching the movie i did that thing where i
00:44:35
when where i turned and i was like i could have done that could have been me like that one of all the roles i can't
00:44:41
be the hot guy in the beach throwing the football no but pullman that one i could have gone out for that yeah i know what
00:44:46
i thought we're going off of that john ham's part you could have gone john hamm yeah i think you think so yeah why do you think so i thought i'm an authority
00:44:53
figure but they didn't want comedy they wanted someone no i would mandarin and strong i would be serious about it you would yeah all right well then tell me
00:44:59
tell i'm maverick you're [ __ ] uh what's his call sign what's jon hamm's call sign in the [ __ ] movie
00:45:05
you're i'm maverick and i'm coming in and you're you're disciplining me for one of the exercises that we just did i'm not going to give it away i need the
00:45:11
line saw cyclone cyclone i don't need the lines though give me a line what do you mean listen you know
00:45:16
the movie you're disciplining me for all right here we go yes you wanted to see me sir yes so
00:45:22
what was that all the shenanigans up there well that was the training exercise sir
00:45:28
you you're no longer a part of this program
00:45:34
can i tell you something yeah you're killing it right now yeah all right you got me kiddo
00:45:40
you're no longer a part of this program sure with all due respect yes i'm the top of all the top guns
00:45:46
you were you know get out of my office
00:45:53
thank you sir that was really good honestly i felt it for a second thanks that was really it was my first try i
00:45:58
would have to work on it i would have to work on it and maybe they would cgi on my face you know me make me white i don't know
00:46:04
because i think being a little asian guy would be a distraction like why is this you know what i mean you just we gotta
00:46:09
get you baby we gotta kumail nanjiani you we gotta get you jacked yeah i'm thinking about it can we do that for
00:46:14
this show can we get you jacked for bad friends before we go on tour we're thinking about doing a bad friends tour
00:46:20
by the way before we go on bad friends tour yeah will you get jacked as [ __ ] i will can we get a bad friend's personal trainer you know what i need though can
00:46:26
i get a like not a shake wake but like some one that works like body blade i want something at home that i could do
00:46:32
when watching like netflix or something what about a peloton i have one of those i know so why don't you use it i gotta
00:46:38
go downstairs i gotta go downstairs and walk down those steps remember the body blade let's get you a body but i i can't let's
00:46:44
get you a bodybuilder you just go like this with it so you can be doing that one yeah yeah i need to do something like that yeah you just wobble it back
00:46:50
and forth look at that that's you that's you that's me coaching your body yeah
00:46:56
what exercise can we get you to start doing um truthfully there's one that i just saw on late night at two in the
00:47:01
morning watching tv and it was like a little thing like it's like a you sit down
00:47:06
and they're like little steps what yeah it's like you put your feet on little they've got little pedals they're
00:47:12
like little pedals right so you're watching you know me your favorite movie like you're watching the boys the foot pedal exercises you're
00:47:18
just pedaling so you're just paddling you're watching so and it's just a little piece it's just little pedals like it's a bike yeah
00:47:24
and old people do it like that and they really like it from the commercial they like it do it we love it that's it right there
00:47:31
yeah just one of these little foot pedals yeah that guy and you just push on it oh and you just pedal it's that one
00:47:50
this machine will you do this under the desk while we're doing better i think i was thinking about that doing that too maybe we should maybe we should both get
00:47:56
it and see if we can see who can do it longer under the desk yeah i'm pretty sure that works we're gonna get you on an exercise regimen i mean it yeah yeah
00:48:03
because i want you uh i want you lean and fit for when we go on tour that's gonna be fun man
00:48:09
that's gonna be real fun can i show you something guys yeah of course
00:48:15
okay is this is there's a movie that he made yes what movie
00:48:20
i just made a new movie he made a new movie let's watch his trailer i'm excited
00:48:26
parties and girls it's gonna be lit later man okay
00:48:32
going to colombia looks like i got the lips and the brains of the family i'm proud of you okay who are you
00:48:47
governor finn wants all detained immigrants gone by election day god i deported
00:48:54
zero tolerance the d.a is suffering to drop charges if he volunteers help care for senior
00:49:00
citizens at owl cove we truly appreciate you being here to help out our seniors
00:49:08
how am i supposed to is it eric davis my girl i suggest you say something you
00:49:13
know cause your skin i'm argentinian if you stick to the program your time
00:49:20
here should be pretty fast and easy
00:49:25
you wait right here sorry
00:49:31
you really got away with the ladies this is a horror movie getting out of here what are you talking about you trying to escape
00:49:39
[Music] oh my god
00:49:56
it's okay
00:50:06
i promise you you stick with the program you're gonna leave this place more mature you may even gain a newfound
00:50:12
appreciation for life miss phillips
00:50:18
you okay mr phillips not breathing
00:50:30
am i in here because i'm latino or black or both
00:50:42
wow did you really produce that yeah wow
00:50:47
what is it what angers you the most is it directed by jordan steel
00:50:55
kind of is it jordan peel ripoff is that what it was what angers about it i think it's a it's a brilliant film
00:51:00
i think it's cool i think it's quite number one i think everybody should watch it no audition
00:51:05
yeah why didn't we get an audition for this movie because it's like eric's in it i mean i know a bunch of people in there it's like we can't we can't get a
00:51:11
security guard we're all or no honestly dude there's no security guard or like a
00:51:17
couple of lines that we could yeah no let's be real let's be real let's talk man
00:51:23
you're a producer you're doing movies it's your second one we've seen yep the other one was a big movie right huge you're producing right
00:51:29
i'm asking you dude camera right because we've getting you a job here and we're not asking for roles we're not asking
00:51:34
for offers we're asking for the opportunity that's right right that's right and it's not like we've never done
00:51:40
[ __ ] look at my [ __ ] imdb dude we know how to do it we know how to do stuff we know how to do stuff dude right
00:51:45
online so what's the deal uh where's your pass ma'am something like that there's a restricted
00:51:50
area yeah yeah um no puerto ricans allowed listen well you know who i would play oh
00:51:56
the the [ __ ] assistant to the governor oh yeah yeah you'd be great we don't need you people around right right
00:52:02
yeah yeah and i'd be like you know what i would be i just i work there at that [ __ ] place right and i'm playing both
00:52:09
sides oh that's because i'm ethnic too but i'm also love the whites right yeah yeah i'm like that you know you're one
00:52:15
of us we're with derek chavin yeah do you remember him you have cool stupid asian partner yeah every photo that you
00:52:21
see that asian partner he has this confused look i like how you're like do you remember derek chavez yeah you like his partner i
00:52:28
hate him polarizing yeah cause his look his partner looks always what going on yeah he's lost yeah did he get in
00:52:33
trouble too that i don't know what's going on no smart friend yeah he played it like that i had no idea he went to prison he did yeah but i believe they
00:52:40
even if derek sharman had his knee on that asian guy's neck he would have the same face what going on oh my god
00:52:47
anyway i would play that guy we didn't get a role yeah we didn't get it i wanted to be the ice agent you know i wanted to be an ice agent yeah but it's
00:52:54
a great movie dude um so let me ask you the premise though right yeah i don't get it so if you're i knew george
00:52:59
lindberg jr i know him yeah jp i know why are these kids going to the uh why are they being deported
00:53:05
because they seem like they're americans for aiding and abating uh
00:53:10
her uh their families so their families are
00:53:16
illegals but they were these kids were born there so there's a new rule where even if you're born there what what do
00:53:22
you call that uh policy when you're from barnard natural clicking on pictures of women he wants to look at we see what you're streaming that's even
00:53:29
funnier he scrolled down the list yeah and then he saw this girl catherine hannah yeah hannah hannah yeah and he
00:53:35
clicked on her because he wanted to see more about her yeah because she's not like super famous so i was like oh you don't have a shot
00:53:46
he does well with women i know he does he does very i don't know i know one girl that wants to [ __ ] him well how about this
00:53:51
we've tried to make we've tried to have um love matches on this show and carlos is single and any of the
00:53:56
women out there we'd like to put carlos up for what
00:54:02
so i was at a comedy show a couple days ago and so i was in the front right go ahead and a lady walks up to me she goes
00:54:08
just to let you know i wasn't hitting on doc so that girl that was at that show that came to the side of the stage
00:54:14
oh yeah for our comedy store main room show yeah that says she would hook up with she adamantly she came to the store
00:54:20
specifically to tell you to tell me no that she wasn't hitting up yeah but didn't she say she's yeah but she was
00:54:26
trying to get a laugh and it came out wrong uh yeah i mean and i go okay i'll rely that the doc will kill himself
00:54:32
yeah it seemed like she was hitting yeah it seemed like it yeah call me a fool but carlos is single
00:54:39
i'm trying to find this girl because she emailed a bad friends account about doc she's like i'm the girl you think wants
00:54:45
to [ __ ] doc that's her yeah that's who i ran into the yeah she said she did email you guys but i will say this we're not
00:54:51
trying to we're not hooking up doc with [ __ ] anything ever again yeah because of today you've been slipping so much it's slipping fancy what's the other
00:54:57
link i sent you in that thing didn't i send you another one oh look at this so what's this starts playing immediately that's right go
00:55:02
ahead what is it this got sent to me
00:55:08
[Music] and how obviously is this andres
00:55:16
is that you andreas yes yeah do you not know how good he is at guitar
00:55:22
i don't know how people find this [Music] isn't that crazy
00:55:30
tell me that's not insane do you know did you know that he played guitar
00:55:36
that's not him yes it is there's no way that's happened but that honestly it's very very similar deposit
00:55:41
how many what is that 37 seconds is a long time for you to not know yeah yeah that was a long time no because
00:55:47
first of all it's pitch black you just see hands that's right and barely yeah but it's not you no but that shot right
00:55:52
there it looks a lot like fancy look at pull your hair look at his hair is doing that thing right now right now yeah you're right you're right it is doing
00:55:57
that thing for a split second though i went if that's him i'll respect him yeah oh
00:56:04
yeah but you don't still no i still respect him i just respect him more than the next time he's producing a movie
00:56:09
yeah why didn't you i'm really a little shocked that we didn't get something in your film the next one is just for you guys what is it
00:56:15
it's your movie bottoms yeah of course that's because we're producing [ __ ] you
00:56:20
he did did you see the tiger belly thing you directed the korean drama no no one gets a masterpiece is it
00:56:25
really yeah he did a korean drama and hired actors but korean people to
00:56:31
play tiger belly crew and they did a sketch oh i heard about this i think [ __ ] good you have to send it to me
00:56:38
yeah i'll send it to you any korean actors i know no it was just like but the guy that played gilbert was dead
00:56:44
on you know what i mean the guy that played me was so handsome it's so crazy but he has the beanie and the you know
00:56:50
it's amazing they're at my house great job that's how i know you have the talent thank you
00:56:56
all right so doc told us that that he's now he was what he was sleeping is that what it was he said he was sleeping and
00:57:01
he i asked him to do a video and he said he'll do it later when he's feeling better no
00:57:08
i was just tasting y'all wow you sound bad wow
00:57:14
yeah i got this man the stomach in my house this headache man i tried to take a nap this
00:57:21
won't go away well what are you taking to help your stomach got more wine
00:57:27
no [ __ ] yeah why would you like
00:57:34
this ain't the time man no what i'm saying is that what are you taking for it because
00:57:41
right grape drink right right grape drink doesn't it
00:57:48
it's a sugary sugar it's so sugary you know but i'm just saying you know stop eating you know the
00:57:55
taquitos at 7-eleven maybe yeah yeah well actually the whole foods
00:58:00
food man oh it was whole foods yeah i was like [ __ ] i guess i don't
00:58:06
know what's been happening it's been a couple of times just like this week where i ate and i got sick doctor i'm eating there i'm like what the [ __ ] yeah
00:58:12
hey doc are you just what's up dog hey hey man just a question don't get mad at
00:58:19
me after you poop are you washing your hands
00:58:25
at the poop are you washing your hands oh of course of course because this
00:58:31
sounds like a bacteria this sounds like bacteria is getting from your poop to
00:58:36
your fingernails to your food i have another question i have another
00:58:41
i think that's doc have you been eating other people's
00:58:47
[ __ ] well you know man you love you do you do
00:58:52
love to eat ass right you know groceries is part of the game part of the segment part of the game
00:58:59
yeah they call you black man black pacman yeah black pac-man maybe just ease up
00:59:06
let while you're sick ease up on the ass he's up on the ass for just just a week okay we don't do that just for y'all doc
00:59:13
we miss you dog we met hey we miss you doc we're sorry that you're sick bro
00:59:18
yeah thanks bro i'm sorry man all right man get better soon baby we miss you
00:59:24
oh miss y'all too all right good bye bye we lost doc that's it yeah he's dead can
00:59:31
you believe he's dead he's dying he's gone he sounds [ __ ] awesome sounds terrible
00:59:36
or it's the best acting we've ever seen that could be that's really funny he's that he's he's at disneyland right now
00:59:44
he's and he's in a bathroom he's like oh barrel so sick yeah i mean let me ask you something yeah if you did
00:59:50
find out that he was go doing something he found something better to do like for instance he's right now
00:59:55
next to he's at your mom's house he's on there yeah or he's at like you know i mean firing the kid or something yeah
01:00:00
would you be mad you decided to do them instead of us no god bless would he ever do ours again
01:00:06
no no that's the end of that that would be that but if we found out that he was lying to us and doing another show yeah
01:00:11
that's it that's good good good for you move on move up but you wouldn't have him back i'd kill his car and light his apartment on fire right no i would i
01:00:17
would not have him back on the show he would never perform live in l.a again ever again la yeah southern california
01:00:23
yeah in the entire of course of course nowhere nowhere nowhere yeah yeah he'd have to be he'd have to kick rocks in new mexico and get a couple gigs in
01:00:28
nevada but we love talking we hope he's good that being said whole foods whole foods food yeah but i think he's saying
01:00:34
what he's saying is that he cuz whole foods does have a cafeteria for employees you know what else they have
01:00:39
what you know when you walk into whole foods you guys have seen this they have a bin that's discounted like meats and stuff like that that's it says it'll say
01:00:45
right on it do not eat it yeah but it will say it'll say like
01:00:51
almost almost um it says a sign it's almost expired they're like almost gone
01:00:56
would you eat that no like if you were like on a budget what am i
01:01:01
then i wouldn't go to whole foods that's true well who the [ __ ] is on a budget going to hope don't go to whole foods yeah you're on a budget you go to tj's
01:01:07
you're on a big budget you go to john's not bonds you're on a big budget you go to smart and final if you're really struggling when you go to the 99-cent
01:01:13
store but i've seen guys that go because i've been there they were serious regulars on the show right i've eaten our eggs now the money's running out
01:01:19
right but they they're used to the lifestyle so they go to whole foods and they might get that like you know my
01:01:25
two-day-old ground beef humble yourself go to a [ __ ] store let's go to smart and final where it's cheaper that's true
01:01:31
because i used to eat that [ __ ] i used to eat 99-cent store eggs i'm not kidding i ate poultry i mean uh yeah i did no do they have
01:01:37
[ __ ] eggs at the 99 cents yes they do they have everything what kind of eggs huh from what animal
01:01:43
i mean i'm not sure maybe a rodent of some kind yeah yeah it was a gerbil egg maybe i ate well can you eat turtle eggs yeah you
01:01:50
sure can are they are they they seem cheaper no they're more that's delicious yeah that's a delicacy
01:01:56
no but i mean i've had you it's a mickey yeah you open up the dozen and it's like that's gerbil that's hamster oh they're different colors and sizes different
01:02:01
size and colors yeah some more purple in the small snake eggs
01:02:07
you get what's the free-for-all yeah you get what you get yeah and that's a good scramble that's a good mix scramble yeah
01:02:12
i've eaten what you've eaten bad [ __ ] when you were broke you ate bad [ __ ] yeah but i but yeah but i would go there were only
01:02:19
specific places i would go like i would go to uh el pollo loco you could get their bean rice and love
01:02:25
burrito el pollo loco because they were like 99 cents how you can't go wrong with bean rice and cheese well nothing
01:02:31
goes bad there yeah yeah bean rice and cheese you're fine so that's a 99 cents i would go to like i would get a
01:02:37
breakfast at mcdonald's when i was poor what i used to get it all the time i still don't get it i still get it yeah i still get it all the time i love it yeah
01:02:43
but um but i would eat but i would eat i ate ramen one time for a month because i had no money and i had to eat it every
01:02:50
single day for a month but i would only eat it twice a day because more than tw more than twice a day i get i would get
01:02:55
i started the smell of it maybe nauseous yeah even now when i get like i i'll sometimes like later and i go oh maybe
01:03:01
i'll make this ramen it hurts my neck there's so much salt and it's so no like my neck is i have to
01:03:06
take my [ __ ] imaginary high blood pressure medication your neck gets stiff from eating ramen you can't even sip the
01:03:12
bowl like it really [ __ ] my body off oh there's so much like yeah msg probably
01:03:19
[ __ ] your body up no no no no no i think they found out that it's not that bad for you msg yeah it's not that bad i
01:03:25
know but the salt i don't think the salt salt isn't bad for you unless you have too much it's like
01:03:31
anything it's like butter is bad it just does something anyway but you know what i do i'm guilty of mac and cheese from craft craft is so
01:03:38
good velveeta first of all yeah if you're gonna do it no really not velvet is better than craft oh my god craft mac
01:03:44
and cheese is good but i like the velveeta stuff i think that's it's just do you use whole milk with it or 100 percent i get a cow i go to a farm yeah
01:03:54
i'll get whole milk home milk is the best yeah anytime i tried alternative milk i don't like it the only one that i can [ __ ] with a
01:04:00
little bit is oh oh a little bit i've been so this is what happened
01:04:05
i'm glad you just said that i'm not being real i'm so glad you said that because something that's not even funny i don't know why i'm saying it but
01:04:12
it's a revelation i had so the other day before jules went to the philippines
01:04:17
i've been eating cereals cereal yeah you're eating cereal again yeah what kind of so i've been eating
01:04:23
life cinnamon oh my
01:04:28
are you drinking the milk when it's over cinnamon milk yeah golden grahams whoa hello i love golden [ __ ] right so
01:04:35
[ __ ] but i was getting massive diarrhea because i'm lactose intolerant because i was getting the vitamin d like homogenized
01:04:42
it's already got homogenized homogeneous and nice homogeneous i'm not gonna write milk and i was having diarrhea there
01:04:48
then she's like just drink oat milk with it yeah so i bought oat milk this is the
01:04:53
same it's close it's clothes here's the problem with those alternative milks what they don't get as
01:04:59
cold as real milk do you know what i'm saying when you pour it in a thing it's not as cold right it gets warmer faster
01:05:05
real milk stays colder faster stays colder longer in fact i'm going to go to the after this i'm going to go to the brows i'm going to get buy more cereal
01:05:12
yeah i want to come over and have a cereal night can we have a cereal night where are we which ones do you like cereal oh
01:05:18
my i mean there is no top five top five of all time yeah like one like i once here's what i don't like peanut butter
01:05:24
captain crunch is probably one of my favorite i hate any captain crunch wow you're wrong it [ __ ] i hate it because it cuts up your mouth i like the texture
01:05:30
i don't like anything i gotta get a stronger mouth is that what my problem is yeah life cereal is genuinely one of my [ __ ]
01:05:35
favorites uh coco crispies coco pebbles cocoa peppers cocoa peppers corn pops love
01:05:42
corn flour i only think corn like i don't like corn all almost all cereal is made from corn i don't know i don't but
01:05:47
you know what i'm saying it's like yeah that flavor that the corn pops raw fruit loops i hate it you don't like fats no
01:05:54
wow i like the ones with the the double side what is that the wheaties but with one
01:06:00
side is completely white i don't know what that is frosted fr oh frosted flakes not flakes
01:06:05
i love frosting frosted wheaties the cubes what is that called oh oh i love this uh
01:06:11
uh uh uh uh uh not shredded wheat uh um the one size white come on i know it's got cream on
01:06:17
it it's creamy it's cream it's a white it's a cream i love it frosted mini wheats frosted mini ones
01:06:22
frosted mini wheats frosted mini wheat i love frosting [ __ ] things that is the
01:06:27
that's one of the best one of the best and you know what sometimes i'll just i'll i'll eat the cream off one side and
01:06:33
throw away the wheat sometimes i'll just eat the cream and throw it through i don't have that kind of like i love this green i love cream
01:06:39
it's not an artichoke i love cream half of it okay anyway here's another thing that i like here's what i don't like
01:06:44
though um i don't like rice krispies not right right rice
01:06:50
krispies what what's it rice rice krispie treats not rice crispy is that a cereal right
01:06:56
rice krispies rice krispies cereal yeah no yeah it is what do you mean you don't like rice krispies no i like
01:07:03
the cocoa one but i don't like that white oh that one's okay to me what about lucky charms oh no the original oh
01:07:09
i didn't know they had frosted ones yeah they have frosted crispy yeah but the original one because you you'd have to put sugar on it yeah you would you'd
01:07:15
have to put sugar i would put two big spoons full yeah yeah of course that's why my mouth is made of [ __ ] metal yeah but i don't like any of the ones
01:07:20
with the like that [ __ ] up marshmallows that comes with like like you don't like lucky chocolatey lucky
01:07:26
i don't like it you like that they're magically delicious i know yeah my people made that yeah yeah i mean i make dividends every time somebody buys a box
01:07:32
of that stuff do you know they have to give to a red hat every time we we get we get a nickel every time you deserve eggs because you
01:07:37
don't get much in life let me ask you this um speaking in terms of oatmeal do you eat
01:07:42
oatmeal i eat overnight oats i like that a lot but do you when you have oatmeal do you know you i don't know what over what's
01:07:49
overnight overnight oats is like uh is it mushy yeah it's pretty emotional it's the ones that i have had those yeah pretty good
01:07:55
overnight oats yeah they're cold sometimes they're they're always cold they're always out of the fridge with berries yeah yeah those are cool right
01:08:01
but you don't do hot oatmeal sometimes but pretty rarely because it's like steel cut steel cut is the only one to get yeah it's the only one again you
01:08:06
know where that comes from ireland that's right you guys do good stuff we do dynamite and [ __ ] steel
01:08:12
cut dynamite steel cut whisk uh uh uh whiskey bourbon um and um conor mcgregor the
01:08:20
best the best who's better and patty patty you know patty yeah mma fighter nra
01:08:26
ira ira i was a big fan of the ira i love the ira not the nra i don't like that iran
01:08:32
yes you do you're a big gun guy i love charleston heston all right so i like charles and heston
01:08:37
but all right so um from my cold dead hands
01:08:42
that guy man rest in peace but if you would have known thank you for being a bad friend
01:08:53
yes [Music]
