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hi i'm andrew santino with bad friends it's black friday and we're having a black friday sale buy one thing get anything
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else in the store 25 off badfriendsmerch.com go to badfriendsmarts.com buy something get 25 off anything else
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in the store happy black friday hey bad friends i'm on the road go to
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andrewsantino.com for those tickets i'm going to be in san diego then i'm going to be in fort lauderdale florida then
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i'm going to arizona phoenix i'll be there for new year's eve shows and then in the new year i'm gonna be in dc
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atlanta albany uh seattle portland i'm jumping all over the place and there's
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more dates being added go to androsantino.com for tickets andrewsantino.com for tickets
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who are these two idiots white dude i'm an asian dude you two are disgusting
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oh you two or something we're bad friends let me say this welcome everybody to uh the black monday dark
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night this is black monday uh we don't do black friday we do black monday and it's a black monday oh [ __ ] last
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black monday monday what's up dog do it bro hey you feeling good on black money dog
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how about you play black monday in the house dog i'm bored give me some skin
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you want to raise the roof together security what's going on what's going on with you you come in
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with such rage and anger can i get a second i just parked can i get a second you just put me right into the fire go
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ahead god what is it i want to squid games this [ __ ] so bad right now we talked about which one we would lose at
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which one you think you'd lose that that's good game all of them no but would you make it past any of those things i don't know the cookie carving
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one i think you might be able to do you know what no no no this is how you know you you know
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wow you took that the wrong way dude i've always thought that there was a cookie carving one that would have been they had this
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sugar like that's how skilled you are with
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your hands a clock maker yeah you have that vibe you don't like the key maker kind of i didn't understand why
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if the if the glass thing can hold two people like why didn't they just you know swing with something the littlest
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person you know boom that one breaks yeah boom that one breaks and then now we can all go like get their arms and their legs and then yeah yeah yeah they
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don't know what the game is right they knew what that one was it said it could be two people yeah
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i know but under the circumstances and the stress event i just don't think yeah you would have been that guy in the front that was like i'm not going to
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move yeah i'm that guy yeah 100 sure which one am i no i'm the guy i'm the oh
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you're the the bastard guy at the end who like turned on everybody
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i know i'm the one that i would take somebody down with me so i'm like that girl who's you're the guy the girl right he's the girl in the girlfriend the girl
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that grabs there yeah yeah yeah you're getting [ __ ] in the bathroom like if i ever get [Laughter]
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he goes in there for a smoke too he's sneaking away for a smoke just to get [ __ ] yeah yeah by the big gangster
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i think dude i think as a male as me i think i probably would do something
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like that what [ __ ] a because i don't want to die i don't want to die that's the number one thing i'd rather
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never die right so i think i'd be i'd make decisions based on survival and i think that i
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would definitely a [ __ ] that guy with a tattoo on his neck together you turning on your friends
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yeah i will turn on you are you just looking out for you no yeah that would be bobby bobby's special
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would be called turning down your friends and him just facing like this away from the camera yeah putting your back out you know what i do
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with the with the with the um what's it called what the tug of war hug a war i was just tied his whole body to
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the end of it like an anchor right and it was just on your stomach wait hold on you just lay
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there as an ankle i think that's what i did and then hold on a second [Music] yeah yeah
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hold on a second fatty
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please please let him know he'll
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[Laughter] i know i'm just saying what i would do
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would you do that if like under the circumstances i would just be like eric get to the end with a timeline around
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your body you're actually the old guy you're actually really the old guy who did all this
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and he's going to die in a bed oh yeah yeah you're you're a psycho who
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planned all this yeah the whole time just a toy with people yeah that's what bobby would do
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if he got all that money he would just puppeteer chaos like that if he was that rich no i said i if i was in that show i
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would have died in the van on the way there that's the way yeah you didn't say that yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah just for you
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phobia griff where'd you just come back from i texted you where were you i used tampa i used griff's phone number to get free wi-fi unfortunately yeah and always
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know too i always know wait like i get a text message on the go go flight thing yeah yeah yeah because if you're a
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t-mobile t-mobile which is no one i know other than griff
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i got t-mobile what are you talking about size-wise okay so i think you look good there all right no no no [ __ ] you i think you look
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good so no no [ __ ] you you and i are in a text stream and somebody sent this to us
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and i went directly to the store and i go delete this photo why you look and they still haven't
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deleted it what's wrong with that i look like i'm dying right then and there yeah you know
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like everything just imploded in my body yeah and that's it that's the second it looks like he took a really hot [ __ ] in
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his butt and he's trying to pull his pants up like ah you know what you know what you know
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when a like a pastry chef like is piping out icing out of a bag you look like an icing bag 100
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oh for sure i like this there's like mustard in it
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no you know what that photo looks like if i was the boston marathon runner and my bag exploded like prematurely
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so i'm about to plant a [ __ ] baby [ __ ] up and i'm like so [ __ ] [Laughter]
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yeah they do this a lot though well i i had to they take such bad facts about one two it was like dude you had
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to pick the worst picture of me yeah yeah yeah no so it's so funny there's some of the photographers there do a great job pam doesn't like they do good
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jobs and then sometimes they'll pick i'll see the photos i'll go yo those are dope and then they'll pick the one that
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i go like this where i'm going like that right and they post that there's a comic we're working that well you know i know you know who runs the
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account that's why so wait what was up in tampa what did you do splitters how was it it was all right
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why just all right it's just all right man what's up i think a lot of these places you never played tampa club i played the sides
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well no the houston club improv used to be in the old old side
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slitters you ever see play that club was there walking houston they're used to used to you walked in and what it was the lobby
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was trees but not just trees like rainforest cafe exactly but they had the
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trees inside the building right and on the walls it's all branches and trees it looked like a cauldron
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what's a cauldron no what is it you mean a dungeon no what you it looked like a what's a cauldron a
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cauldron is a is a witch brew thing like a they would make a cauldron
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that looks like a place where they maybe you know like double double in trouble that's a cauldron that's a cauldron that's look that's a cauldron
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all right we have one at the studio it looks like the club used [ __ ] it man it just looks like it was a cauldron
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factory say it was like rainforest cafe but houston it wasn't it was darker it was fine though yeah
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let's go back to science florida crowds are i mean look and they don't have to do vaccine [ __ ] down there
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do they yeah they they don't give a [ __ ] down there wild yeah something happened to me in florida the
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first thing that first time it has and it'll never happen again
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i did a double before kalala you had a threesome no i made love to
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two girls in one night before the show after the show
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both after the show you said like it was like a you come at this time you come at this i feel like crying just thinking
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about it because you're emotional you miss it could you miss it yeah yeah it was just a miracle from god i think
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how how did it happen okay so i met a i don't know if i said i was a manager's daughter a what preacher's daughter oh
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he's not gonna you think he listens to this [ __ ] podcast i don't want her to listen she was really angry at her
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[Laughter]
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i'll go [ __ ] a fat asian guy dad how about that maniago laugh i hear coming
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from the other room andres the best fancy hey hey hey tits what are you laughing at oh boy here we go
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he's talking to you uh doc oh oh i'm all right i'm over here just in my phone a little bit my bad i didn't
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even know y'all was talking about uh dude jules is really running the car
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what man he's not out here doing the cars
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one of the girls was a preacher's daughter yeah and um and the other girl was what happened was
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she left my hotel and i met another girl a college student you're outside smoking a cigarette and a
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girl walked by no i should exchange my so when i was with the preacher's daughter i'd exchange my
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numbers with another girl she goes i mean i left i left my group where where are you at or where you at so i went to
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the looked at the pictures that i got you got to get out of here because i have to do radio in the morning she left
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and then when the elevator reopened it was the other girl wow she was like one of those nights that was mad that's
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magic yeah and then a little visine drop came out on my pee pee that's all you had in there that's all i
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had left in there for the second one for the second one no no the first the first one
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yeah the second one the poll is
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who's more disappointed is the pole the first girl who got you know all of it
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there's a lot of protein there dude i mean it's like you know but you guys are you're probably so excited oh my god you're probably so
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excited that you just yeah i was excited too pump yeah yeah two pump for sure has that ever happened to you
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what two girls in one night yes
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[Laughter]
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yeah she reminds me of the lady that owns the funny bone in nebraska omaha i never did it i never did oh my god you
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got to play omaha nebraska because the lady that runs a club is like 1960s like a rock like she loved the stones but she
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still has that energy like she used to go to shows somebody
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discretion is advised that's why he's here yeah hey you'll learn about doc doc's greatest doc's
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greatest contribution to the show is is burying whatever he's saying underneath whatever someone else is saying
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we'll be talking he'll just throw it underneath and i'll just stop well before we even get to this the peeing i love peeing no you have to can we talk
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about his tits hat first go on what it feels like you it's like a guy who
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doesn't get any girls buying a ferrari oh yeah it's like it's a weird advertising what like a keychain for the
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because if you can buy a ferrari you don't wear trucker hats yeah yeah you don't think i'm projecting good energy i'm not
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bringing a [ __ ] the kid likes tits what's wrong with that that's your out of the body you would say the tits is the most
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important they're nice i know but is that your favorite thing i know they're nice we all love them
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do you think they're nice man oh wait there you go why don't you wear an ass hat then because then it would be like you're an asshat you know what i mean oh
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you see this you walk in you're in 7-eleven and a dude walks up and he's got a tits hat on
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are you like immediately like ooh what's your first thought what's your first thought
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i'm sorry doc but it looks stupid oh yeah there we go that's america that's definitely important you can take
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it off it was in the studio did you oh did you
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write tits on there yourself oh it was in here it was in here oh you just wore a random app okay you know whose hat that is
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oh yeah pete that's right pete when he leaves the house when he leaves his wife and kids he's right and get my tits out
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in the car yeah and he drives here and he's just so excited because he can say stuff like that out in public when he's not at home he does have great tits
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doesn't it have great tits the best in this and the best in this video so perfectly like proportionally you know sometimes when
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they're tit sweats it's only like in the tip of it do your tits been sweating lately oh yeah man you had dude in in in
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mexico the funniest tit sweat he had when we went out to dinner i mean it was like a little little crescent moon right
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under your little titties but that's because we bombed yeah that's true yeah that is true when i bomb in front of 800
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people i get like crescent moon sweat oh my god if you were there at that show
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you would imagine him on that stage oh yeah because he got big titties here's the titties what really does
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he love this is why i'm here this is this
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this is wow thank you doc black on black crime yeah yeah yeah that's what i like
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don't let these two do this to you all right this is what they do white people have been doing this for years
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this is why um you know martin luther king and malcolm x didn't get along right two [ __ ] like this oh
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yeah yeah
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could you imagine i go up to malcolm x and mike listen i don't know if you've heard but yeah that's how they talk
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is that what you think we're doing we're trying to pick you guys yeah i'm a minority
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yeah not right now not really no you guys are you guys are on the way up right now you think i'll feel it tv
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shows you know what i mean you're doing too well yeah yeah so he does have big tits i'll expand on that
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you know they they supple you know what i mean like what the [ __ ] you want me to say you got it
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to a nice level yeah all right enough i want to see i want you to see okay all right so this chick is what's her
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name bilbo baggins over here
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see when you say stuff like that he he thinks that's him yeah i know that'll be careful [Laughter]
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you just call me dildo yeah dildo all right oh yeah he's
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she's a rockstar lady so i'm going to imagine i bought tickets to this woman's show yeah i have all her albums yeah i
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cannot wait i got front row this is great she brings a guy on stage by the way by the way mind you
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context this guy wants this this is not this is not oh my god i can't believe that happened
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like when uh yeah he said nothing about him no this is all about her yeah
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check this out he's laying down yeah
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oh my god oh he has to go to the bathroom really bad yeah really bad oh my god i mean
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it's unbelievable by the way this is not just like i got a little tinkle this is like when the hose you know when you open the hose after it's been after it's
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been kinked yeah yeah this is just like after you just after you untangle the hose watch this ready oh you'll notice
00:15:59
you'll know yeah she's getting ready to load up i mean my on his face look at that spray
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yeah on his face this idiot wha what percentage of that liquid is [ __ ] juice
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i mean look he's shaking his head off and he's smiling is it all urine i mean there's no lubrication juice in
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there no there's something and he's pumping his fists as she goes away oh wow this dude's amped as [ __ ]
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yeah he's not the problem no no no no no yeah that's just a lie have you ever had somebody pee on you
00:16:29
no but i've watched porn where they pee sometimes i'll put in pee don't you do that in your shower
00:16:36
[Music]
00:16:47
thank you [Laughter]
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we know it's all right it's a good size it's been out there thank you thank you well look let me say this since we have
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two uh uh pocs uh in the room i'm not i don't consider you a person of color
00:17:10
why because you're just not i am you're just not bro it's like it's so funny because in
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the kkk would i be able to join that's right well you're asking the right guy
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yeah yeah would i you're you don't have no kung pao yeah there's only
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this [ __ ] guy taking it to the next [Laughter]
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you know what asmr is no what is that it's where people whisper into the mic they turn the gain up real high and they whisper and they
00:17:47
they touch the mic or they or they'll have like somebody who'll be hitting their phone like this or cutting something smooth like cutting styrofoam
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i love that yeah i do love it too when i do love it well i sometimes i go
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at night three in the morning and i i just put it on youtube i'll have a girl just start chewing something in my ear
00:18:05
you like that oh yeah it puts me right out really wait what is this here
00:18:10
what is this all right show the pickle video show this girl she's famous dude i can't believe this has 37 million views
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so people like to hear it opening here out it's like but the game is like really high yeah so you can you hear
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every little thing that's what they can't hear right now they put those on
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now she's showing the pickle jar there let's just get to her eating one until she wears this bright red lipstick and
00:18:37
people like this i love this dude i love it i can go to sleep right now really oh yeah
00:18:44
oh i love it this woman eating is just so i cannot stand that people eat and listen i'm cool with like cut
00:18:50
that's the way you want to slap people when they eat like that all right all right enough enough enough
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enough jesus christ i can't take that anymore my god how do you like that bob
00:19:02
i don't know i mean it's it but does it turn you on or it soothes your heart is my soul it
00:19:07
it i think about other things than whatever is going on in my mind so i don't know i just focus on the
00:19:13
sound you know when people are ripping things up or going i like the scenarios where they go
00:19:18
you're at a new space station um put your id code in this hand thing and you put your hand there i act it out
00:19:25
you do yeah so i go okay and put the hand right and now you're sitting in the lounge and your ship is gonna take off
00:19:32
in uh 2300 hours right and i go and i respond i go okay thank you can i sit
00:19:37
here yeah you know i do my own dialogue but she doesn't she doesn't answer she doesn't answer me back no no you're just calling me sitting there she goes all
00:19:43
right i just need to fill out this paperwork how tall are you five nine like a
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response all right
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stop honestly if i'm almost legal dwarf uh-oh what the
00:20:10
[ __ ] is he a dwarf yeah and apple's over here is he dwarf legal legal legal he's
00:20:16
a legal dwarf he's got a license at the shire
00:20:30
wait are there black hobbits i don't think they would go doc where you been see if there's any black hobbits i don't think so no that's none
00:20:37
[Laughter] doc shows up they're like oh my gosh
00:20:42
were you in a fire what happened i'll tell you what andrew when i'm on
00:20:47
the road and i'm even in la if i'm in hawaii i use doordash it's my number one food delivery system by far
00:20:54
because they have the most options they're the most precise and they're very nice people and uh
00:21:00
whenever i'm on anywhere else i use doordash number one and use it in la if you forgot something at the store you
00:21:05
need to get snacks drinks household essentials in 30 minutes with door dash you know doordash we don't need to explain it to you i mean dinner check
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your first order when you download the doordash app in the app store and enter code bad friends 2021. don't forget
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that's code bad friends 2021 for 25 off your first order with doordash subject should change terms apply upstart
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i've had so many credit card worries of my life god what's the most you ever owed thousands thousands and thousands
00:22:18
thousands and upon thousands i think mine was seventeen thousand dollars hey listen uh that was eighteen thousand oh was
00:22:23
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00:23:22
would just ask where he is and you know i'm from the guy or maybe they have a new like maybe they have an urban community called the dyer to die is it
00:23:28
like dwarfs but like the wire yeah but like with dwarfs and it's like they're cr
00:23:35
like doc's a criminal door [Laughter] i love that show idea that is good yeah
00:23:42
but what's this keep going oh you want to be in it well he just wants to roll in something yeah
00:23:52
doc we could get you in that the problem is we don't even know if doc can act i think he can yeah i'm good i think
00:23:58
i've done seriously have i done scenes with you before no okay he can't he can't
00:24:05
you don't know how do you know i don't know i did a scene with griffin did you guys do a scene together yeah what was that oh that was brett ernst's
00:24:11
comedy special yeah what is that what do you guys do he like like one of those little intro things i was like the
00:24:17
principal of his school oh right you know and he was like he was like a young
00:24:22
young brat and what he played like he was a janitor i believe i was a 12 year old i was supposed to be a 12 year
00:24:28
old grown ass dude who looks who's 12 year old who looks grown as [ __ ] that was written for you yeah well
00:24:34
that's a funny joke that's a funny joke it's very funny yeah very funny and what was your line do you remember my line was uh because he was sitting at his
00:24:40
desk it's on youtube it is bring it up i'm going to say it's so let's see you're acting on youtube
00:24:45
yeah and we'll give and we'll give you a one thing what is it what's a call griff because he actually released it on youtube it's just brett ernst brett
00:24:52
ernst special look at ernst you are not e-r-n-e-r-n-s-t yeah e-r-n-s-t
00:25:00
next oh my god how old are you i'm 12 o'clock
00:25:06
[Applause]
00:25:12
now what you want with delante
00:25:18
[Music] scene stealer 100 scene stealer all right wait can you
00:25:25
back up and just freeze frame on doc just pause it on doctors that was a shock
00:25:30
because i never seen you wear with without glasses oh yeah look at him you know you can tell he
00:25:35
can't see [ __ ] they're like doc you're looking right here you're looking right here buddy
00:25:41
[Laughter]
00:25:50
jesus christ you look good dude that's so funny because i forget after all this time of knowing you when you had a mustache for
00:25:56
as long as i've known you oh that's correct and then now gone never i haven't like it's here but it's just connected to me i know but it's the face
00:26:03
is remarkably different when we when when you met him he had the mustache yeah when's the last thing you were shaved
00:26:09
never i never i think i did once on this show for a bit and it was bad i look weird now with shaved
00:26:15
when you got rid of all your if you get rid of everything yeah i look weird i don't look like myself what's this name on billions did it too who for the
00:26:22
second half of billions uh giamatti oh paul gmail right he shaved his face oh yeah it's crazy yeah it just doesn't
00:26:28
look like the same guy like bring him up were you shaved on undateable when you did the episode on undead i didn't do undateable okay no thanks doc
00:26:36
i'm sorry that was real that's a dark moment were you how do you even were you on
00:26:42
that show i was an extra owner i thought you would did an episode on undead he was doing the exact same thing he was
00:26:48
sitting at the bar oh
00:27:01
look at this look at he looks so weird now yeah no hair on the face or the head
00:27:06
that's for the show he did it for the show but he has hair in the show it's the top left one i
00:27:12
think is more like what's going on right now in the billions yeah yeah yeah yeah
00:27:17
i was so used to him having the facial hair right i know right that's so weird to see him without all that [ __ ] anytime
00:27:22
i see a showtime show that's still thriving i just go [Laughter] oh because can we announce
00:27:30
that these two were on a show announce everybody knows it yeah i'd like to announce it oh please
00:27:35
these two fine gentlemen we're on a show call i'm dying up here on showtime
00:27:41
and what i've seen from the show you two were remarkable
00:27:46
you've never watched one episode what are you talking about name one episode name anything that happens i'm right now watching i'm gonna
00:27:53
correct you my friend okay i'm right now watching secession uh-huh not the show that we're on i know i
00:27:59
understand that that's what i'm watching okay yeah and i've recently watched i'm caught up
00:28:06
i saw first two up seasons they're recent though and i couldn't tell you what episode is one episode
00:28:12
you're talking about on succession on succession my point is is that there's no way i could throw you because that was a couple years ago when i saw this
00:28:17
you don't remember one scene yes i do i didn't watch it it's okay because i know you know why i know he
00:28:23
didn't watch it i know you know why because his jealousy could not let him watch it all right he would just see
00:28:28
that and be like i can act too i'm dramatic i'm a comic why couldn't i be on this that's true you did ask me why
00:28:34
you couldn't be on the show and i said there were no asian comics back then yeah that's a fact well because i auditioned
00:28:40
for stand up boom
00:28:46
i had to fight for the right to perform as well all right i gotta fight for my stuff no all right so let me [ __ ]
00:28:52
talk right now well they'll make an asian version that's what they're doing now we auditioned i'm a
00:29:08
uh so we auditioned for the same night i
00:29:14
remember jim carrey was there yeah we're in the audience when he was at the store you're talking about yeah when he was at the store and in my head i'm like i
00:29:20
honestly i was like this is my chance really you had to get into did you rip
00:29:26
that night i ripped you ripped okay first of all and i think i've said this here but like you know that night i
00:29:32
was furious why adam comes up to me and says hey eric jim terry's here you know
00:29:37
what i said to him is he bumping me oh i was so i was so mad yeah i was like
00:29:43
this [ __ ] got 300 million dollars and he coming into the club bumping people i need this tuesday 15.
00:29:48
this is my time and i was pacing i went up on stage and that's why i killed yeah because i was so bad yeah that's funny
00:29:56
they told me later like you know it was a whole production cruise here and i was like oh [ __ ] yeah that michael was there in them so
00:30:02
when you guys actually was doing it there was jealousy really yeah because weren't you doing
00:30:07
love at the same time yeah but he's like you know we can't explain bobby bobby's like a kid that
00:30:13
has a hundred toys in front of him right yeah and then kids come over and they pick up the shittiest toy and he goes
00:30:19
like this that's mine it's my toy my favorite one yeah it's mine are you out of your [ __ ]
00:30:26
that's what i'm [ __ ] doing right now yes i'm being vulnerable and being honest and i'm telling you that i felt a little
00:30:32
jealous i was happy for you guys no you weren't you weren't yes i was and what where in what regard were you happy
00:30:38
in every regard you don't yes i do in every regard let me say something just watch the show
00:30:44
okay don't do your homework don't do this right because there's other things i want to watch all right but i want to say this right
00:30:50
now for the record yeah okay i like it you look good yeah i don't know
00:30:56
i'm gonna do it again this is great any time
00:31:05
[Laughter]
00:31:16
for okay and this is gonna sound so pretentious coming out of my mouth
00:31:23
here we go guys this is so pretentious and gross can't wait can't wait but i don't hang out
00:31:30
go ahead i don't hang out with anybody who's not the top of the comedy
00:31:39
oh you're saying we're lucky to be in your presence no that's what i'm saying i'm just saying i gotta feel them that's not what i'm saying
00:31:45
i'm blessed to be around you guys because you guys are the top of your fields
00:31:50
right and i get to learn did you have therapy today no where is this coming from no i have to learn honestly
00:31:58
sitting here right now looking at you and seeing you it inspires me this is such fun it inspires
00:32:05
me at every second and i never really could pinpoint what that feeling was i would always have that feeling around
00:32:11
you it's one of those feelings where you're on the top of a roller coaster and you're about to fall you know what i mean excitement what about me bob no not
00:32:18
you not at all never i'm never going to feel that way about yourself no i'm never going to feel that about you ever right
00:32:24
and let me see let me say something right now okay you ever
00:32:40
we should have had another season we just needed one more season no no the one more season that's all we did one
00:32:46
more season you know and then we would have been able to start like what was the show that you only got six episodes out of what was the one that you were on
00:32:51
you know animal practice no no that wasn't that one too though right but that was
00:32:56
on the call sheet it was like monkey [Laughter] he's talking about the jenna fisher show
00:33:03
the fisher show that's the one bobby was acting his ass off in that show though can i tell you something we watch i watch a couple episodes yeah me too and
00:33:09
i i was actually very happy what you did on the show and can i say this right now yeah i don't live with you right
00:33:16
we don't live together that's correct we're friends we see each other every once in a while we work together right yeah people that have lived with me
00:33:22
haven't seen anything you got something to say for yourself yeah
00:33:28
you paying for your own phone bill yet i'm just curious no okay who's paying for that you
00:33:33
how much is it a month i don't even know because it could be a million dollars
00:33:39
i would [ __ ] pay it why don't you watch bobby's stuff is what we're curious i've seen the first episode of
00:33:44
splitting up together all right have you seen any mad tv episodes no what's splitting up together that was
00:33:51
this that was what it was called yeah oh i forgot the name of that show i saw him when he played connie you know what
00:33:57
though [ __ ] you man [ __ ] you that was good but
00:34:03
in bobby's defense though i don't always like watching stuff with people that we know no it's true you know i watched one
00:34:09
episode of whitney and almost blew my head off yeah but you don't you don't like sitcoms anymore exactly but it was like but even undateable and that's
00:34:15
another one that i just like but a cable show if your friend was on a cable show watch exactly yeah cable shows single cam yeah yeah cause the first time i
00:34:22
actually started talking to you was you were on that i liked mixology yeah you know that's all i read for
00:34:29
he did read for that was very funny they actually asked me if i knew you but can i tell you why did you [ __ ] on them
00:34:34
they literally were like do you know no i didn't i didn't i didn't actually read i showed up right and a guy next to me
00:34:40
said you know who else is reading for this i go who and he said andrew santino and i left that's not true yes we were
00:34:47
not out for the same i left yes it was for that role and i left the audition so that you can get it
00:34:53
congratulations that's the first but it's so funny he says that because like we were we i would always see you in audition rooms and i'd be like
00:34:59
and if we if we're going for the same part i'm like they don't know what they want we did it often me him ian edwards one time me him and ian edwards in the
00:35:05
same [ __ ] i don't know what's one thing we have in common comedy guy guys comedy guys yeah they
00:35:11
wanted nothing else yeah but we looked at each other like well this character doesn't yeah yeah they don't know what they want so when i so when we're in in
00:35:17
the i'm dying up here um test yeah and i see you and then i know i'm not going
00:35:22
for the same role ah this is great we were mean we knew we had it there was two of two other people
00:35:28
in the room and we knew we had it they were so nervous yeah because they weren't they were they weren't comedians right no they were actors yeah yeah yeah
00:35:33
they were both like like like highly regarded new york theater actors yeah because if i was in the lobby and i was
00:35:40
a theater actor and it was for a stand-up and i saw any wonder you guys come in yeah i'd leave i would probably leave see i would leave that same it's
00:35:46
the same if it was opposite if i'm trying to break into a category like broadway or something i don't and i see one of the best and if i'm out i'm not
00:35:53
going to go up against that [ __ ] dude when i'm on this other show in new york and i talked to there's a guy that i
00:35:58
work with that's a broadway actor so much tmz on you by the way i see [ __ ] videos every day of you with sarah jessica parker it's getting old yeah
00:36:05
some people tag me in it all the [ __ ] times i'm sick it looks like a fetish
00:36:10
but i'm not sure who has the fetish hurt
00:36:16
that's a good one what did you say doc oh sarah jessica i was asking her sarah jessica parker from
00:36:22
sex in the city thank you doc's like a weird 4-1-1 operator
00:36:28
[Laughter] from a different country in another country we're not even the same
00:36:34
country this is what google used to be that's what that's right i represent italy and all the people no that's ask
00:36:39
jeeves that's not good yeah i look like a ghost you know it gives you because it gives you the wrong
00:36:44
answer so stupid yeah no but i just it's something weird about i don't know
00:36:50
it's like when you know people it's like it's rare that you see your when you see your friend doing something
00:36:55
unless the unless it's something that they they really transform sometimes it's hard to like or if it's their
00:37:01
personal show yeah they made the show that's what's hard i don't like looking at that you know you go ah this is just people i know and it's kind of weird but
00:37:07
then like you know mark maron i like i like seeing him you know on on on like he's on things glow yeah glow yeah
00:37:14
the joker joker was he was great yeah he's playing this guy and you just go but part of that is you just go ah look
00:37:20
at him because it's mark yeah yeah yeah when it comes to his success i tell this to them all the time when a guy
00:37:26
like that succeeds i'm 100 so supportive because he went through hell yeah i mean he's been around for so
00:37:33
[ __ ] long and it's like a lot of these guys you look at some of these guys they they never got their do
00:37:38
he's gotten his due for a long time now i know but he's one of the lucky ones you look at other guys that just never
00:37:43
get it from his generation from his generation yeah i guess it's like it's like most of those guys quit they're not around anymore oh they went into
00:37:50
something else a lot of people directors writers directing producing that kind of stuff yeah they got smart yeah they got
00:37:56
the [ __ ] out of stand up yeah no [ __ ] yeah because as a doorman i saw back in the 90s when i was a dorm at the store
00:38:02
guys you don't even we never see anymore but it's like what do these people do yeah think of the people that you went
00:38:08
to do what you were doing open mics with i think about this all the time man i just go hey what happened to this guy what happened to that guy you ever try
00:38:14
to find him on facebook or something oh man cause then they're gonna be you know i just i don't know i mean it didn't work out cause what would you say yeah what would i even say hey i'm killing it
00:38:21
what are you doing [Laughter] he's like oh i'm a investor in a food truck only only plus i would ever oh i
00:38:27
don't know you ever want to run into your ex like a xx that like did you wrong while you're doing well yeah you're doing well
00:38:34
yeah i mean that's that's what we're doing here that's true that's this whole thing
00:38:40
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yeah it breaks down as you get older and for me i use blue chew to get my
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important safety information we thank bluetooth for sponsoring the podcast you think that's what this is that's what
00:41:29
this is some sort of pain that we experience younger and we're just trying to get back at something why the reason
00:41:34
we do comedy yeah it's either it's one of two things i think you're either very smart and you understand communication
00:41:41
in people very well and you're able to communicate normal things in a very unique way and people foundation
00:41:48
i don't think i think this they all have that she can hear it or
00:41:53
you're an idiot and you know nothing else yeah yeah
00:41:59
yeah yeah i think that's more me no no yeah yeah i don't know i don't
00:42:04
know much i think about i will say about bobby is like bobby is like like idiots if you had to define whatever funny is
00:42:12
yeah just bobby bean himself is hilarious that's correct yeah like you yourself are funnier than the things you
00:42:20
do on stage and and you're funny on stage wow that's a burn that's a burn in a weird way yeah that's awesome
00:42:26
that hurts so bad like your skill level right doesn't represent itself no on
00:42:33
stage no no no that's not but when you're just in your bathroom right you're walking around the mountain
00:42:40
you're [ __ ] funny but what he just did worked
00:42:48
i i followed it up with and you're really funny on stage it right he did
00:42:53
it's like asking you know back in the barn barnum and bailey like barnum and bailey right back in the day right still
00:42:59
around and you saw the hairy face boy right yeah yeah and it's like he was born that way he has no skill that's
00:43:06
what you're saying no then i'm like a freakish guy who you're the same with an extra arm on my head if you're saying
00:43:12
look at me laugh laugh you know what it's equivalent in a sense that not everybody's born with a hairy face
00:43:19
so not everybody's born with there's bobby the funny no you're more like the hairy face boy that can also juggle
00:43:26
there's a couple of hairy face boys that's totally well you can she's got like a skill extra skill
00:43:32
you're the hairy face boy but you know they can't all climb a tree he can climb a [ __ ] tree that's why
00:43:38
he gets paid the extra money because they're like you know the hairy face kid it's like yeah that's poor no no by the way i don't i want to reiterate this
00:43:43
yeah mm-hmm this was you know i know it sounds like a burn and we burn each other that's what we do
00:43:48
100 you are so funny okay i don't need to no no no no no no no [ __ ] you just let him
00:43:54
finish no no you i'm telling you i don't know there's something about you and this is why this podcast is so
00:43:59
successful it's why like you know you're jeff there's something that like you have that thing man that's the essence of what funny is
00:44:06
yours
00:44:11
[Music] well you know how some like when you're sometimes
00:44:17
people are like mean and then you have funny mean yeah funny funny me yeah funny mean yeah
00:44:24
still mean though nonetheless yes okay but it's good yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but it's good you make a living yeah it's working all right let's go to doc
00:44:31
okay so if you have like can i see him park tom cru tom cruise was in rain man okay
00:44:39
you're the other guy [Laughter] right okay
00:44:44
real quick what i'm right there with tom though right yeah oh that feels good
00:44:51
yes he is rain man but he's also next to tom cruise yeah you're next to him yeah for sure but he doesn't know because
00:44:58
yeah you don't know that you're an extrovert no honestly who's who's rudy who's rudy rudy's rudy no who is she in
00:45:04
this world that we're speaking about i have no idea she's what's her kind of funny
00:45:10
honesty it's like an alien no it's this it's an alien
00:45:15
spacecraft that they like they're like zipping by our solar system
00:45:21
right and they're like hold up we don't have to be on in to ontario let's just made up a [ __ ]
00:45:27
ontario planet that's a planet we have to be the ontario have you played that improv
00:45:33
great club yeah ontario if you just go to space you go east who books that yeah yeah yeah that's where you'll find it oh
00:45:40
yeah right and it's like we don't have to beat ontario until like next week
00:45:45
i heard about this planet called earth oh yeah let's capture one oh and they
00:45:50
capture they go to the philippines right and they see her no shoes yep you know what i mean they're highlights
00:45:56
digging digging a ditch or something right and they they discover her and they bring her to
00:46:02
another planetary showcase right and that's what she is for this that's interesting
00:46:07
you got it you know why i went through all that none of it makes any sense what it just said no have you ever felt like
00:46:12
you might have been abducted or anything like that have you ever had experience a supernatural experience with a ufo no
00:46:17
anything at all nothing this is your chance to make something up yeah [Laughter]
00:46:24
you know what that's kind of spooky that she went from like nothing to like yeah
00:46:29
you know what we're going to make she's very mark zuckerberg dude did you see that clip of mark zuckerberg was like someone he's like
00:46:35
well that's because you're human and i was you i am human have you seen that and everyone in the crowd is like what and he goes
00:46:42
[Laughter] have you seen this [ __ ] oh my god look at this mark zuckerberg i am i was human
00:46:47
i am human because because rudy sometimes shows signs of not being from here but it is going to
00:46:53
bother you because you're human and and i was human i am human but i was just referring to myself in the past
00:47:01
[Laughter] now play it again let me look at how
00:47:06
fast he skipped bother you because you're human and and i was human i am human but i was just
00:47:12
referring to myself in the past um tell me that's not a little strange you
00:47:17
know what you know what really bugs me though for real tell me that's not strange all these people who are like
00:47:22
super successful super rich super like it's the as if they got to be weird like
00:47:28
this they all have to be just there's gotta be something kind of quirky or something are we screwed
00:47:33
are we scrutinizing them though like we were so full wow what's so funny did i say the word wrong
00:47:40
no you give me an example how are you supposed to say that word are we scrutinizing them is that what you said yeah are we focused in the details of it
00:47:48
of course if i see an andrew santino interview i don't know a million wrong things i don't observe all those things but i'm
00:47:54
also not a little rich are we observing is that what it is well because we want to defend the [ __ ]
00:48:00
guy no we like to we'd like to think that you want to think that whatever normal is or whatever you know you would think that can that person like that end
00:48:06
up being like a you know 50 billionaire i would do weird if i was a billionaire i would do weird [ __ ] during it i pray
00:48:12
to god you don't become a billionaire i'd just be like i don't know if he could get there like what the [ __ ] was that doing all kind of
00:48:18
dumb [ __ ] before he got to that that's true you'd never get there you'd keep [ __ ] it up yeah you'd be you could become a hundred millionaire maybe
00:48:25
what do you mean i don't think you can get to a billion i think you'd [ __ ] it up
00:48:31
what's so funny man i just is that a real statement you'd [ __ ] it up
00:48:36
if i got to 800 million you think that i couldn't get to a billion for some reason no
00:48:42
what do you think i would do i don't know you'd find a way to [ __ ] it up yeah you know you know you know how he plays
00:48:47
those games and he spends so much money on them he would actually build the sim city right you know what i mean he would
00:48:52
have like construction crews going like no move this over here it would be like a whole thing
00:48:58
what that's so what that what that's that's that sounds like 1.5 million dollars see
00:49:03
this is what we're talking about that's not a lot you've always calculated that processing in your head is 1.5 million
00:49:09
for that room so what else because i'm like i have 800 million if you had 800 like you'd be the kind of guy that you'd
00:49:14
buy a private jet take it to a place yeah i just want a new one yeah and then you'd leave it yeah you would do that no
00:49:20
i would think andy'd get a monitor in the xbox a new one a new one no i would take a
00:49:26
private jet and go can you turn this into a bed right so they cut it you know i mean got it out right now they use that as my bed
00:49:32
and they're like uh mr lee we do need to get back to the united states at some point buy a new plane you just buy a new plane
00:49:38
i would probably he is right though you know how michael jordan they used to say he would leave he would wear a pair of shoes and a new pair of socks every game
00:49:44
he never wore this shoe twice yeah you're that guy you do that with everything you would do that with xboxes you'd bring them or you'd
00:49:50
have someone buy a bunch you'd leave them everywhere all the time your budgets would be like 50 grand a day on
00:49:55
[ __ ] yeah because knowing you you would just be like well i don't [ __ ] i can just buy more what was that movie isn't there
00:50:01
a movie where somebody inherits a bunch of boosters willie millions that's the movie and then the name
00:50:07
no but rich it was a remake that's the remake right richard pryor was the remake yes yeah the original was not
00:50:12
with it was like he was he was higher he he inherited a bunch of money and the thing was if you can can if you could
00:50:20
spend 30 million dollars in 30 days you'll inherit 300 million dollars yeah that's what it was so which i could do
00:50:27
easily easy i'd like to highly recommend a movie but you couldn't make any money on it though can i can i recommend a
00:50:32
movie t-tan tetane teton tetane have you seen it
00:50:38
spell it t-i-t-a-n-e titan it is can you use it in a sentence
00:50:45
yeah i have a tetane oh that's a detain right there i thought you did the movie
00:50:52
just right movie titan i thought your t-team was that space between your balls and your [ __ ] that's your taint
00:50:57
oh this is good this movie right here dude is the most [ __ ] up movie i've ever seen in my life judging on that
00:51:03
photo of that woman even more than old boy oh yeah this is [ __ ] up so [ __ ] look at the woman in the vice that grip look at that i had to pause this movie
00:51:10
every five minutes my kaleila and i and we had to walk away from it oh i hate that see i don't want to watch that [ __ ]
00:51:15
did you see that jake gyllenhaal movie on netflix where he's a cop no dude it is so like disturbing for no
00:51:22
reason right what's it called the guilty like what's in it
00:51:27
well he's like a 9-1-1 operator but he like is a cop that did something bad and that's why he's 9-1-1 operator right now
00:51:33
and then some [ __ ] happens on this 9-1-1 call and it's just like the whole how the whole thing plays out you like no
00:51:38
one right you know what i mean you'd like no one it's don't don't watch that movie though is there a hero you hero
00:51:43
you want everyone in that movie really yeah but you somehow want to see it unfold all right so look we
00:51:50
had video submissions um for uh i want i want a little bit of black magic and uh let's play let's see
00:51:56
some of the people that are in the mood for doc no they ask there we go a little black magic or it's a double
00:52:02
entendre little black magic kelsey good morning it is
00:52:08
9 10 a.m ignore the messy room in the background um and i want a little black magic in my
00:52:14
life you see i've been seeing this guy and i
00:52:19
bought tickets to go to this comedy show on december 4th at the balboa theater in
00:52:24
san diego it's my show and he said he was down to go but he's just not that into comedy
00:52:30
but it turns out i'm just not that into him oh yeah um so i need a date for the
00:52:35
show okay bye oh my god doc you're yo you gotta take
00:52:41
this girl to come see me live you also get to see me do an hour which is great
00:52:47
was she using that [ __ ] guy no dude she's seeing a guy she's a fan she wants to come see me do stand up i'm supposed
00:52:53
to just get in the middle of a love triangle she's going to break up with him first
00:52:59
she jesus break up with the first and then you can go on the [ __ ] thing [ __ ] oh man you just okay
00:53:05
wait a minute doc you see this girl yeah she's cute she's very cute okay so so so
00:53:10
she wants a date was she smoking weed or was that a cigarette she was smoking weed what does it matter if she's not
00:53:15
weak or anything hey dog because you have a vagina not a cigarette but a little weed okay i feel you wait a
00:53:21
minute wait a minute i think you should have a little bit higher standard than that a little bit oh my god
00:53:29
wait a minute doc yeah she seems like a down ass [ __ ] she smokes she's chill and she's willing
00:53:36
to leave this dude who dorked out on her and doesn't want to come to the show for you all you have to do is go down there
00:53:41
and that's a free date that's what it sounds like she's trying to get a freebie out of me too just because no she has a ticket tickets already man oh
00:53:47
she already said okay using you to get into the [ __ ] show you're gonna have to pay he's not gonna let go put you on the list i'm not i i am definitely gonna
00:53:53
make you pay you're gonna be paying just willing to just throw a dude to the
00:53:59
side like that that's that right there that's just evil what what did he what did you say
00:54:05
doug promised his mom never to be in a love triangle again oh that's why that's right all right is that what it is yeah
00:54:12
you got to stick to your principles all right so so let me let me clarify this for the for the fans and including
00:54:17
uh what this young woman's name is i forgot what did it say what was it kelsey okay so you're telling kelsey you
00:54:24
just want to end the race because you think you don't want to be a part of her breaking up with the guy to be with you
00:54:30
to hang with you yeah just to hang where she can hang you're coming regardless you don't have
00:54:35
a [ __ ] choice you have a problem
00:54:46
like i said she [ __ ] said she'll dump this dude for me no no no no she's not gonna date she doesn't want to dump slow
00:54:51
down over there romeo she didn't say all that oh i thought she wanted to get the dragon she just don't want to be alone
00:54:58
at this concert she did say she doesn't i'm not into him
00:55:03
so i think the relationship's over yeah he doesn't like comedy she's a big comedy fan right you're a [ __ ]
00:55:08
comedian this is perfect perfect is it yeah okay
00:55:14
she's also loaded yeah she's rich right which is great but because she has two tickets no she's
00:55:19
high it was one of my favorites oh i thought you meant rick no she's hot she's not oh she which is a good thing she could be rich too yeah
00:55:25
because she was sober she would have never made the video
00:55:31
there would be no video let me tell you something okay i like this for you and i know you may not want
00:55:37
to do this but you're doing it you're doing it for whatever you want and you have to be nice and we'll give you cash
00:55:43
why wouldn't i be nice to her why are we giving him a date bobby what is this ten things i hate about you now yeah doesn't do
00:55:49
ballet or anything like that is he no he's got he he yeah we'll give you get mad at the parking
00:55:55
garage we'll give you some cash to take her out on a nice date yeah that would be awesome you know what we should do is that how you park the car get it this is
00:56:01
it i'm calling it right now we're setting up we're going to you're coming to san diego okay we are setting up a nice dinner spot for
00:56:08
you before the show bobby and i will pay for a very nice steak and you're going to get a guest set on the show
00:56:14
i don't think there's room that's rude yeah i know you're being rude right now dude yeah
00:56:20
it's one show yeah you're being so rude let me ask if there's i want to let everyone know i want to i want to let
00:56:27
you know wait wait wait andrew who are you going to ask i have a team
00:56:33
my time because she likes comedy he should get the guest set that'll really close the
00:56:39
deal i also okay how about this you can get a [ __ ] you get the guest spot you have to do the dinner you have to take
00:56:45
her on the date yeah let's go okay so if he gets a guest spot i don't get
00:56:50
one that's right if dachshund you're out that's how it goes can't have two so anyone that
00:56:56
bought a ticket for his san diego day right could have gotten me and doc on the same lineup mm-hmm and
00:57:03
you're not gonna do it how about this we'll see i'm not coming
00:57:08
what when is the date what is it december december 4th why would i drive down there for that
00:57:14
um we'll we'll leave it up we'll leave it up to the universe to the fans we'll leave it up to the
00:57:20
fans all right fans if you're from san diego you gotta you bought a ticket to andrew's show you
00:57:25
know i'm going to be at la jolla that weekend oh you can come out oh you're competing taking numbers away from each other i love that different area i'm
00:57:32
good yeah yeah oh wow
00:57:37
relax what is that what was that wow don't do that ken jong don't do that tonight really yeah let's bring up the
00:57:43
phone why don't you post every [ __ ] photo with that guy he's the best i love him so much we talked about you today
00:57:48
what show was dave he's on davey i'm not shooting dave was he on this island we've talked this is up or whatever that
00:57:54
is no i'm just called i did a scene in a movie with charlie for charlie day charlie
00:57:59
yeah and ck isn't it no he just throws that at he just does he just said that
00:58:04
anyway but look at that me and one of my best korean friends of all time now that's a podcast you want to watch
00:58:12
do one with them you're such a baby you know what you i want you to try you
00:58:18
know you should be hilarious is if you just filmed a fake episode of something just to [ __ ] with him
00:58:25
we talked about it he's too busy so [ __ ] funny all right let's move no i wanna let me just let me
00:58:30
get my [ __ ] two cents in all right you know what dude i i sigh like that when i listen to you talk
00:58:37
as well i know you did it you did it a few times on the show today already so you know that doesn't hurt my feelings i
00:58:43
didn't do it to hurt your feelings i'm emotive getting angry about i'm talking to you like a civilized human being here
00:58:49
baby we also should all go out that night yeah no we no let's go out to a big dinner how about this we go to a
00:58:55
nice dinner and doc is there on a date and we can watch him what's the date again can we get like you know ear buds
00:59:05
oh hold on i might not be able to come no we already checked the schedule because kalyan has gone to hawaii [ __ ] you're here the whole time
00:59:12
damn it you're coming i'm there december 4th let him show the rest of the email there's emails now we don't have it whoa
00:59:20
my name is chelsea we gonna have to take a pause we're saying i just farted okay hold on hold on so i'm i want to hear
00:59:26
rudy read it as her voice because it's a girl i don't want to read a girl's voice yeah i don't want to do it wrong get closer go ahead rude get real close to
00:59:31
the mic like try to be like a girl like a sexy girl go ahead try to be her try to be her try to be try to be her name
00:59:37
is ally try to be ally um my name is sally
00:59:42
i am 31 year old barber in sacramento's couch
00:59:48
yeah she's wasted she on pills i want a little black magic in my life because i think doc is the
00:59:55
perfect size to walk on my back after a long day in the shop
01:00:01
his fade would always be sharp with me oh she'll fade you out baby and i have strong stems to
01:00:07
carry him when his little legs get tired lots of perks here
01:00:13
what do you think man yo if you [ __ ] this up man no stay on the photo oh yeah it's down the phone
01:00:19
[ __ ] yeah she's she's very good-looking but hey hey hey look at me
01:00:25
you're welcome doc yeah dude i mean [ __ ] not even a thank you not everyone who's the one i don't need don't don't
01:00:32
even think him [ __ ] who's the one that called you to be even on this in the first place i'm talking about this right
01:00:37
now i'm talking about him even being here in this situation who do you [ __ ] think the most
01:00:43
think about this whole situation it'll be you thank you let's go just do the photo thank you thank you next photo
01:00:49
no get i want him to assess that situation all right go to the first photo god damn it
01:00:55
can he talk to the same girl yeah oh oh let's see oh yeah this other photo that's the same girl yeah all right
01:01:01
scroll down let's go down fairy oh my god beautiful blue eyes look at those eyes
01:01:08
dude beautiful look at that i don't want you to have her yeah i mean either don't you you want to save some purity look at that little
01:01:15
that little hole in her lip is where doc's uh penis could go that's right that's right
01:01:23
all right scroll down to the next picture of this beautiful girl yeah this girl's a [ __ ] babe and she cuts here
01:01:28
and she said she'll fade you out and she'll [ __ ] line you up all the time and carry you know i used to cut hair too i cut my own hair
01:01:34
don't don't don't put that out in the unit man i'm feeling
01:01:47
see that's the you know what i'm saying like that's
01:01:55
[Laughter]
01:02:02
is there more photos wow she's so pretty she's very pretty all right there's another one he's
01:02:08
pretty too now that's not here's another girl oh my god hi
01:02:14
hi bedfriends team i'd like to submit myself as a potential suitor for dog silverman
01:02:21
who the [ __ ] is duck dude remember silverman oh that's right silverman on the street that's doc silverman i'm 24
01:02:26
years old that's funny i'm 5'3
01:02:34
too tall right yeah she's two times yeah yeah yeah five three shield tower overnight i mean that's what we're doing yes so
01:02:40
he could post you up there i live in dallas texas but i have a grandmother that lives in la and i'll be
01:02:46
visiting for a month oh shoot during christmas i'm open to love anyone whether that person is black or white
01:02:53
small or big or autistic or not wow that needs to be in there wow that
01:02:58
really needs to wow also i've included and i'm not catfishing you with old
01:03:05
pictures but my instagram is what is that your girl
01:03:10
your girl your girl knick-knack your girl knick-knack wow
01:03:17
look at her an all-american white woman not not bad cheerleading apple pie five three five
01:03:26
three look at this girl she loves she wants you what would your ancestors say right now that needs some meat
01:03:32
she's too skinny she's too skinny also i think she's very pretty she's 24. she's too young
01:03:39
i can't even deal with this [ __ ] it's like we're trying our [ __ ] best
01:03:54
i can't wait to hear that on the date yeah
01:04:07
hey you do cyber security i used to do mall security we got something in common yeah from a land far far away there lived a girl listening to every episode
01:04:13
of bad friends only because of doc only because of doc jesus christ
01:04:19
uh love you that's what i'm talking about he goes oh indian i love you that's what i'm talking about not to
01:04:25
dishonor you guys i love you too but this little brown girl from india uh hoping for a little huge black pole wow
01:04:31
reasons i should be the one once you try brown there's no going back that's not a phrase and it doesn't rhyme
01:04:36
love india red balloon ps read this out loud on your next episode i'm a medical student from india you guys keep me
01:04:42
happy zoom into the photography if you can change huge the standard then we'd be good
01:04:47
there we go look at her okay i'm feeling that like the eyebrows no filter on the face fly around here you
01:04:54
know what i'm saying all right uh coming at you from melbourne victory there's no picture no picture move on forget it move on yeah yeah we don't know
01:05:02
anybody several people hit me up for melbourne oh there is a picture with jess this is jess's photos okay dude you're getting
01:05:08
[ __ ] babes dude this is so annoying that doc is getting all these [ __ ] chicks submitting for him yeah this ain't new
01:05:14
oh bro really yeah they felt that they felt that oh
01:05:32
now there's people so you say this one's got a little alley wong going on yeah can you zoom in on her face please yeah
01:05:38
wow wow doc all right let's hear her email yeah she got the wine too okay
01:05:43
you don't drink i drink wine what do you think is in his thermos a little bit a little bit of pinot noir
01:05:50
here we go first of all thanks for being such a stellar group of peeps recently went through a sixth lockdown here in melbourne australia and i reckon if i
01:05:56
didn't have you dudes to get me through my depresso would be it would have been espresso so thank you on to the main
01:06:01
subject dlc what a dynamite pocket rocket you're a little vibrator i have no idea
01:06:07
if you'd have any interest in doing long distance but hey dating is a weird thing anyway in it so perhaps i'll give it a go cause who knows i suppose i got to do
01:06:12
the whole bit about me jargone i'm jess i'm 30 i have a sister her name is patsy she she's my life and i work at a cinema
01:06:18
and a bar that's a movie theater doc so movies and booze and music is me jam i
01:06:23
come from a huge family dad is one of ten and we are burmese ooh from burma do you know where burma is i
01:06:29
got a picture of a burmese python with me with a burmese python around my neck this is going to work out
01:06:36
make sure make sure you bring that up the energy yeah energy with the connection with these women in the universe yes so she's got that ethnic
01:06:42
flare look at what she reads it says right there she's left-handed and then what's after that and i saw the movie titan oh
01:06:48
my god is that [ __ ] is this real yeah did that just come out is that why yeah
01:06:54
oh i was like what the [ __ ] whoa yo so after the most recent gig went to jk group anyway uh been bombarded with a
01:07:00
whole bunch of potential but just chuck this out there if you're a good doc you're a good egg bobo fire fire crutchy uh wouldn't be wanted to help you find
01:07:05
this love intensity the fact that you must have a heart attack best of luck on your journey cheers bruh jess matlin what do you think what do you think of
01:07:11
her i think she's nice okay which one goes first then can we just like hook up with them all
01:07:16
and just go from there greedy oh dude from what he went when he first started on the show to now it's [ __ ]
01:07:23
insane all right give me another one give me another one oh that was the indian girl okay yeah
01:07:28
all right so check it out you've got some potential suitors doc what are you doing over there are you on your phone yeah i was trying to find a the burmese
01:07:34
with me and a picture of the bourbon we were so over that man i was still feeling it i can't tell you how
01:07:40
much we don't give a [ __ ] about this
01:07:47
there's a level that's the truest thing he's ever said 100 i don't give a [ __ ] no no he said i
01:07:53
can't tell you pretty much we don't give a [ __ ] about that yeah i get that but this is about
01:07:58
me this isn't about you eric this is my time oh this is my turn this is my time bro how was it your date you had your
01:08:05
time i didn't just show up like when i'm dying like you're doing a podcast
01:08:17
all right so doc you can pick eventually okay eventually you can pick but we'd like some sort of an answer soon because
01:08:22
we like the san diego girl san diego was like san diego let's let eric decide for you then
01:08:28
because you're being so [ __ ] advanced you're going to the the show you're doing the guest set at andrew's show at least minimum 10 minutes
01:08:34
and because the barbershop girl doesn't live
01:08:41
she lives in texas right where did she live where does she live she's sacramento sacramento sacramento's not far at all oh when are
01:08:47
you in sacramento i'm not but i mean we can pay for her to fly down should we fly oh my god should we fly this girl in and have them have
01:08:54
them all come to the show and see and like a like it's a doc dating show and have all these girls you have to tape it
01:09:00
yeah no no it's not worth it you don't want to give it it's not worth it no it's too much money for who but you you're paying
01:09:07
for none of it if you want to spend 1.5 million on money like that on the center in the same city yeah but you don't want
01:09:12
to fly this chicken so doc can be happy no all right so fine the san diego is only
01:09:18
that's what we got we got yeah hey she's cool peeps this girl right here
01:09:24
yeah all right dude let's do her we're linking no don't say that we're linking it up go out with her yeah we do that all
01:09:30
right doc looking look uh look in the camera there and uh sign us out and say thanks for being a bad friend on black
01:09:36
monday thanks for being the bad friends on blackman thanks for being able that's the first
01:09:42
one we'll use the first one okay okay good enough also i also forgot the name of the show like right mid-sentence
01:09:49
like mid-sentence yeah black monday in there so also let's say thank you real fast to our good friend eric griffin oh
01:09:55
eric i love you so much man thank you so much for being here truly also who doesn't have where jules got that from
01:10:01
yeah the [ __ ] yeah the [ __ ] tone you know what i mean when it gets like oh thank you you know now i get it
01:10:06
but do yourself a favor and watch riffing with griffin and he's also you're on don't watch it you're on king of sting all the time yeah yeah yeah no
01:10:12
no absolutely watch it cause griff is one of the [ __ ] greatest comics uh we love you thank you for being a bad
01:10:17
friend
01:10:22
i'm a bad friend we some bad friends yeah we some bad friends crack the
01:10:28
surface just to bring the tito's lives down surfing the bottom a turtle island bout to dive down and i see freddy
01:10:35
krueger rudy with the knives out kalila be pimping and living while bobby in the dog house i heard santino used to suffer
01:10:43
bad acne i'm trying to be a star like bobby lee on mad tv they call me plato
01:10:48
so welcome to my academy raptors know less about the world than bobby knows female anatomy yeah you must be drinking
01:10:55
on some whiskey ginger or you andrew on halloween or call me trippy hipster two
01:11:01
things in life are certain homie i was taught right morality is objective and brian cowan doesn't box right
01:11:08
[Music]
01:11:28
bye
