00:00:00
hey hey everybody we went to Austin and we did something for patreon yeah we did a little Austin show with our boys the
00:00:06
basement yard and now you can watch it it was an amazing live experience it was beautiful and you should have been there
00:00:12
if you're a paid patreon member it's free if you're not you can still watch it by going to our patreon shop the link
00:00:17
will be on the screen and remember paid members will get anything we share there for free as part of their membership so
00:00:23
it's a great time to become a bad friend that's right our patreon Shop is open to anyone whether you're a member or not and it's where we'll be able to sell any
00:00:30
live shows specials Etc directly to you we're going to be doing more patreons we're going to give bonus episodes on patreon so sign up baby we have some
00:00:37
good ones on bab I had to massage Bobby naked when I lost a beted on the show and I couldn't get over how purple it
00:00:43
was dud it like Barney's dick top six okay okay okay hold them get them wait a minute wait a minute give it up for the bad friends
00:00:55
thank you guys very much appreciate you hey hey we're going to be an Abu AB Dhabi comedy week City and Abu Dhabi comedy week as part of Abu Dhabi comedy week bad friends are coming to Abu Dhabi
00:01:05
for the first time May 21st that's right where are we playing the etad atad arena
00:01:11
yes Island yes Island Man book your tickets right now brought to you by the1 go to badf frsp pod.com for the tickets
00:01:18
badri pod.com I'm doing a couple dates I'm doing Tampa Florida uh Phoenix Arizona Nashville Tennessee Dallas Texas
00:01:25
and San Francisco Dallas and San Francisco uh shows have been added go to Andrew Santino dcom for those take it's Andrew Santino
00:01:38
[Music] docomo you two are something we're bad friends what do they call transition
00:01:44
lenses and that's very Progressive these aren't transition they're going to stay this way the whole time oh wow I don't I have to change glasses it's takes all
00:01:51
the cool out of having sunglasses when did you do the when did you uh have you ever had the transition lenses I had
00:01:56
them for a while and then I was told they're not cool why wait why they're not cool I don't understand I don't know some girl told me that and I listened to
00:02:02
her oh you got to listen to girls yeah yeah are you married I am married yeah I can't believe that it's hard to believe what a miracle yeah you know where you
00:02:09
know uh where he had his wedding where downtown LA 4th of July the only way to go they fit right in with all the tents down there really yeah got a good tent
00:02:22
for the weekend is she Jew or what she is not Jew okay but thank you for asking not Jew not Jew wow wow the status SYM
00:02:30
among my people not Jew is the is the step up that's what you're supposed to say not Jew yeah not Jew Bobby is interested in dating a Jewish woman can
00:02:36
you help acquire him had one never one Jew wow I think you could do that how do you though I never jewi I'm Palestinian opposites ATT track that's
00:02:49
going to be tough Bob Bob we do want to get him he's never dated a Jewish girl and I said why why
00:02:56
we're in Los Angeles like how not and he just what he says he can't land any Jewish girls well I've been hooking up
00:03:01
with Arabs oh I love it he's a big Arab fan I love the Arabs you like a little Sideburn on your lady yeah I mean they never used to like me uhuh but not with this new fame yeah my options have open
00:03:15
well they have the same kind of mustache him and the Arab women yeah yeah but they have it down there they have it down there yeah that's what we're
00:03:20
looking for on the chics of sunset you coming in season Cliffhanger yeah you like giggling boys yes I love it too okay these boys are our uh did you meet
00:03:35
did everybody meet yeah we met earlier our nice production team of rag tag individuals missfits and Carlos is uh uh
00:03:44
97 days sober a little over 100 now oh it's over 100 now hey that's great dude congrats you guys are David tell fans
00:03:51
yeah yeah what was name me an album hold for memories well that's a great I only
00:03:56
one I know I Love It For The Memories is amazing that be great that's a good test fancy doesn't know Andre doesn't know uh is it in Spanish yeah do you have any stuff in Spanish
00:04:07
for him do I have any I was going to give him a comb I mean hair how'd you get here buddy power glider uh yeah see this guy
00:04:22
se you really have a multicultural feel going on in here I love it what do you mean you're just looking at me and
00:04:27
saying that that I mean not paying anybody can I say one thing guys have we started yet or is this what you guys the tailgate yeah no we just kind of get going just get going this is the podcast
00:04:40
that I've been dying to do I'm out here promoting and promoting I'm like when do I get to sit with these guys now I am
00:04:45
and I'm sitting in the this is awesome I remember these in that movie Wonka I mean that's what happens when you're bad and they put an oal up in the chair give a talk down cuz they can't get out of
00:04:57
those we actually got those there was a a stage sale we got those from Puff Daddy's house right here that they raided wow yeah they put those on the
00:05:03
lawn I going to say after Peewee died this is his right out of the playhouse the reading of his
00:05:09
will so let's introduce please do may I oh please I just said all right so um the first time I met Dave was years ago um this guy named Ned remember Ned Ned
00:05:22
uh Carlos Mania oh okay you know him by his a superpower name super um and we did a tour remember that tour we did uhhuh that was a big
00:05:33
deal for us yeah yeah back then Ned was like I'm going to you know get the biggest white dude the biggest black
00:05:38
dude biggest Asian I was the only Asian who was the big who was the biggest black dude who was it DC Curry not DC
00:05:43
Curry was DC Curry no I I don't remember plan like that but I remember it was like a big deal tour it was like a
00:05:48
theater tour outdoor venues iie was on some of those it was huge it was huge and we it was the first big tour I've ever done in terms of theaters amphitheaters no they weren't
00:06:00
amphitheaters they were like 3 3,200 yeah I I don't remember I don't really I I remember bombing that's all I remember I did not do well he would do
00:06:10
the talk for me like you know this guy coming out I think he's funny you should think he's funny he's trying to like
00:06:16
strong arm his crowd you know yeah it was like a Mexican Crowd Oh really yeah was pretty Mexican yeah so they loved
00:06:24
you I did I wasn't I was so green yeah but you you did good I remember even when you were green you were still a little yellow so it's you got through it wow you were laughing too you you can't
00:06:37
do the hard look you're right I laugh first laugh again laugh again oh that's how it was supposed to go down yeah he's a Kanye he doesn't want to be caught laughing oh yeah Lou and then
00:06:51
Louie this just my I'm just my history with them you used to live in LA yes I'm from La yeah and uh we used to write
00:06:59
together yes um wait a minute you mean Lou used to write and you were near him oh he got you you know what I knew
00:07:11
dude when you squint your eyes yeah right and your face gets all red right I know you're about to dig he's a he's a
00:07:18
phenomenal J writer and I know Lou was just ripping through pages and he was sitting there smoking like looking over
00:07:25
your shoulder good stuff Louie Kidd it's sorry still funny great great great great stuff can I throw can I throw more
00:07:38
stories in throw it in what what I always loved about you Bobby is like you you would do a great set they would love you and then you then you'd come running off and then you would immed go like I
00:07:50
can't do an hour all right there's no reason why I should be up there for an hour and I'm like what they could have
00:07:56
watched you for like two hours dude they were really having a great time I still do it I still do it I still do
00:08:03
it can't do it I feel the same way I feel the same way yeah yeah I feel exactly the same way I'm like I want out
00:08:09
I want out of here you know what I'm saying or you you you've gone through all your material and then you look at the clock and it's like 33 minutes I
00:08:15
hate that oh I hate it like I guess I'm going to have to do improv yeah I hate it so Lou used to right yeah that's right he's he's probably one of the best joke writers I have a better dude
00:08:28
remember we were on the um we were on the sitcom together oh my God this is crazy I hate it this is crazy this is PTSD this is my my favorite Bobby story
00:08:40
go ahead in the early alts this is uh we were um all you were regular on the sitcom too I I was on Mad TV okay but no
00:08:47
no this is not that we were on a thing called use car smell yeah new new car smell new car smell the guys who did it
00:08:52
were really cool they wanted comics on it [ __ ] but there was also [ __ ] them but but they all wait hold on let no no I'm
00:08:58
going to get into it okay but hold on it was you me and Jimmy Schubert yes and I'm not an actor totally not an actor
00:09:04
and they kept giving me these long like setups for the regular people to get the punch line and I'm like what the I I
00:09:10
can't I can't do I can't you know and I wanted to like red fox it and like ride it on the walls and stuff but anyway
00:09:16
yeah so I'm not even on the thing right Brook Shields no see I thought you were like a special guest or something no no
00:09:21
no I was a re Brook Shields was in it the the guy the leag guy is like a great actor and he was like rolling his eyes
00:09:27
every time I open my mouth what's his name there but he was like a really good act oh Christopher McDonald yes I was
00:09:32
supposed to be [ __ ] regular a plus anyway you and I hold on a second you and I and Jimmy we're all going Ure scenes and then we'd be smoking outside stage and every time I believe this was
00:09:44
like on the warmup or whatever it is the dry run through or something we'd all run out and say the same thing I can't
00:09:49
act I can't believe they're G to fire me I'm getting my stuff now cuz they're going to fire me by lunch I'm out of
00:09:55
here and I was like when you said that and then I felt like so much better I was like oh great not the only non-actor
00:10:01
here but you were killing it and then it went on and then finally we were doing in front of a crowd you know that like
00:10:07
it was crowd and then the real actors they were like stumbling on the lines but we were rocking it because we were like totally whing it up to the crowd
00:10:13
like I don't know whatever you whatever you say JJ you know like we were totally
00:10:19
s coming it then Mitch Hedberg died a lot happened in that week it was a big week I'm not kid was that the week that
00:10:26
was the week oh my god wow look at oh David Walton there it is new car smell Put It Up full screen it let me see what
00:10:32
this is the full pilot can you imagine Bobby if that went can you imagine we'd be retired now I would have been fire
00:10:38
Dave no no there he is look at that awesome I will say it's weird to not see you in all black I love it and that look is still really in you know mostly u in
00:10:48
the Middle East how come dressed up somehow dressed up you look sleazer it really does I hate it well can I tell you my experience on that real quick Brook Shields by the way is so she's
00:11:00
very cool she was very cool I hated her you didn't why I [ __ ] hated her I like her no I don't give a [ __ ] get out
00:11:06
of your podcast oh wait I have to leave wait what did you not like about her what did you am I edited out of that
00:11:12
thing yeah I can't find you you can't find look at me lurking in the back dude you're such a good lurker though what's going on over there no I had to go there cuz I was overacting so
00:11:23
much they had to push me back to push me way back stand natural you're standing in a weird way that's a Meisner I'm
00:11:30
using you can't find me in there right well you think they scrubbed you you think they that's you
00:11:35
right they cut me out so they so Fox calls me and they go there's a show called new car smell we want you in it and I go okay and then they go but the Cullen Brothers don't
00:11:49
want you in it the guys who made the show oh that that was their names yeah the cull not the Cohen Brothers
00:11:55
the and then it doesn't seem like I'm glad you caught that Lou I thought it was the brothers too so then they go um but but they they want Getty W Ani oh
00:12:06
yeah long du dong yeah he's great he is objectively he's great I would hire you 100% let me let me ask you friend yeah
00:12:19
if you were showrunner right yeah you pick him before me 100% not even I wouldn't even think about it
00:12:25
yeah so so you were the you were the backup basically right so they forced me in and Rob cullin would always pull me aside and go listen man you got to learn how to act I swear to God I can't
00:12:37
believe am I in the pilot they cut me out of it Dave I thought you did a great job oh thank you so much honestly I what
00:12:44
I can't believe he would say that that would ruin your confidence it did yeah it sure did basically psyching psyching
00:12:50
you out psyching me out and then like I had two pages of dialogue it's not worth watching even for Bobby Leaf
00:12:58
f it's a terrible show should have never been made it's a waste of time money and
00:13:03
talent yeah did you put just put that in there yeah he just wrote that type that wait go back to the pilot and scrub
00:13:08
through it that's he's got to be in there I want to see the image of go back to the pilot I'm not in it dude but my my point is is it I had two pages of
00:13:16
dialogue and by the pilot I had one [Music] line that's almost impossible one line
00:13:24
it's a restaurant scene anyway um and I it was the worst human experience of my life what did BR and I run into Rob I've
00:13:31
seen rob a couple of times since then I won't even look at him really yeah yeah you really I [ __ ] that guy bus what did
00:13:36
Brook Shields do to you that you're so negative about well because the show owners didn't want me you could feel it you know and so um I I was at craft
00:13:44
service and you know and in my mind I'm like you know you're in Hollywood I know you're a comic but let's break in and
00:13:49
let's let's mingle let's smoo it and then I was sitting by the nuts and stuff and I go good morning to to Brooke yeah
00:13:56
and she didn't even wow like I was even there I got to tell you I'm probably taking I think here this is the scene
00:14:02
yeah well we don't we don't see you you're not in it no no before before they start talking oh before there's any
00:14:10
dialogue is there a mannequin by any chance in there is there a before this okay oh is that Dukes that's
00:14:17
you nice rack yeah I was cut out of it I was cut out of the pilot wow yeah so is
00:14:23
this this other guy that you mentioned that guy is kind of your do that's a person you're always up against no oh
00:14:29
the Long Dong what happened long D no who you against long gy Wabi no was much older and at that time you know he had done a couple of movies
00:14:40
you know like like Classics he was famous though yeah yeah he was like very very famous right so um and I was like
00:14:46
the new kid and fox was trying to get the new kid in I see well cuz you were cheaper I'm sure oh much cheaper that's
00:14:53
what it I'm serious I bet you they were like we can just get this cuz I'm sure the pilot you know they overpay like Brook Shield's probably got all the
00:14:58
money well the stares the and then I'm sure with him they were like let's just Bobby L yeah how Asian can you look wow
00:15:06
how I list I remember him the Nerds yeah that was that was you need that was a different Asian from Revenge of the Nerds yeah okay yeah yeah but but but but but do you think I know what you're
00:15:20
saying well you're so good on that show Showgun I mean you're more a dramatic actor C for losers yeah where it's at oh man P I'd love to see all the
00:15:33
parts that like you had to do like over the years it must be so crazy yeah there I mean I mean there are some good
00:15:39
experiences and then there have just been nightmares the best ones not to make it all like an actor's Workshop but
00:15:45
since as a non-actor when you work with other comics and they just go like just do what you do that's the best that's
00:15:51
the best you could ever do with with guys like me yeah me too to that's you like immediately like they get it they
00:15:56
just want it funny they can edit you know like you forget all these other things that get involved so I'm always
00:16:01
like you know when I work with Amy or I always work with Michael Chay I mean like they're all so good like Pete you know like there are other Comics they
00:16:07
get it you know it's like just get to the funny you know yeah yeah so that defit me is cool but I always thought you were a good actor oh thanks
00:16:13
definitely I'm getting like I'm serious okay you have a heart yeah your old writing
00:16:21
partner but the things I've been doing lately are pretty much offers and then then when I show up they're like I'll
00:16:27
just do you it's great right yeah so it's been it's been easy right cuz you're a great actor you're you're great
00:16:33
that's why they want you to do you you're a great actor I feel there's something behind that
00:16:39
compul when you're a really good actor they just want you to do you see you're a [ __ ] [ __ ] today dude shut up it's in your face dude shut
00:16:51
the [ __ ] up [ __ ] you dude I do like this pink shirt today I do think it's cool oh thanks man it's a rad shirt anyway how
00:16:57
did you do last night by the way Dave were you at the store last night what's that were you at the store last night I walked by what are you what are you
00:17:02
getting at were you I've been podcasting my little ass off that's did you not go you
00:17:08
didn't get up last night no I didn't go cuz we heard I heard you were going to come by they had a special guest in the O and I thought it was you who I know
00:17:14
what it was who's Martin Lawrence and again oh awesome he did he did a half hour he's doing a theater tour is what
00:17:19
the rumor was and he was working out for the theater tour but what [ __ ] up he brought me on this great moment but what
00:17:26
[ __ ] up was he's he's more quiet on stage now wow so they turned up the mic like really really loud and then he
00:17:32
brought me on and my first joke I'm like and the whole you can tell the audience and then in the middle of my
00:17:39
joke they turn it way down so it was the [ __ ] weird and I looked over at the booth and I did this and they were like
00:17:45
how was his intro cuz they they're hit and miss no I I will say this it was awesome I said Emily goes uh the manager
00:17:52
said he's going to bring you on he knows who you are I told him and I thought if he I don't care if he [ __ ] it he does
00:17:58
he doesn't know me personally I said it's fine but he got it it was and it was very nice because it was his Road
00:18:03
manager there and they rehearsed it before it was really nice though they plus he could have just been like next comic no he used to do this I'm done and
00:18:11
then just walk off stage Natasha has a bit about him being rude to her when he brings her really yeah yeah yeah yeah
00:18:17
it's on one of her specials I'm sure yeah he was apparently very rude I don't know that's always low energy now huh
00:18:23
well he's just he's just I don't it's weird to describe he's just much quieter adult think yeah he's grown you get
00:18:29
older and like you know like we do two shows in one night and you can't remember like what you did in the first show I mean sometimes like when I'm
00:18:34
coming off like a hard like just like you know no no booze no no no nothing anymore it's just being tired and old
00:18:41
and you're like always messing up the MC's name you know that kind of thing all right I've called him a million
00:18:46
different names when we're on shows together you know thanks Reggie you know it's like yeah it's not even close are
00:18:52
you sober now for completely oh for years for years for how long so long since that new cor smell sh
00:19:00
you don't smoke weed or anything no I know weed is like a a vitamin out here but I don't do it oh wow I kind of
00:19:06
missed out I missed out on the whole weed Evolution too are you 12ep guy or no no I don't do any that you just do
00:19:11
just you cold turkey yep that's amazing turkey Shopify when we started podcasting an online star was the first thing from our minds that's right now we're selling so many things shirts not
00:19:24
buckets but like cups not buckets well these are coffee buckets yeah so this should called a coffee it's easy and all
00:19:30
all because we use Shopify that's exactly right Shopify is incredible it's the global Commerce platform that helps
00:19:35
you sell at every stage of your business from the launcher online shop stage to the first real life store stage uh we've
00:19:42
got uh so many different things juggling on the show and with Shopify it makes it so simple and easy doesn't matter what
00:19:48
you're selling or who you're selling it to this Shopify helps you sell it everywhere Shopify Powers 10% of all
00:19:55
e-commerce in the US and Shopify is the global force behind alirts rothy and Brooklyn and and millions of other entrepreneurs every size across 175 countries wow plus shopify's extensive
00:20:09
help resources are there to support your success every step of the way because businesses that grow grow with Shopify
00:20:15
Bob how do they get it sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com badf friendsall lowercase go to
00:20:22
shopify.com badri now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in shopify.com
00:20:28
friends Factor eat stressfree this spring with Factor's delicious ready to eat meals every fresh never frozen meal
00:20:36
is chef-crafted dietician approved and ready to eat in just two minutes it's so simple it's so
00:20:41
easy we're always on the Move whether we're podcasting doing shows we're on tour or we're just hugging in a park
00:20:47
that's what Bobby and I do most often a you can choose from a weekly menu of 35 options including popular options like
00:20:52
calorie smart keto Protein Plus or vegan and veggie uh they sent these to us and
00:20:58
they are absolutely delicious they're so quick and easy Chef prepared meals on the table in DOS 2 minutes with Factor
00:21:05
ready to eat meal so you can get back to doing what you love this spring looking for gourmet meals yeah try meals that
00:21:12
feature premium ingredients like flaming shrimp truffle butter broccolini and asparagus asparagus no fuss no mess meals Factory meals eliminate the hassle of prepping cooking cleaning up I hate
00:21:25
doing dishes simply heat and Savor the good stuff head to factor meals.com bf50 and use code badf friends 50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your
00:21:37
next box wow that is code badri 50@ factor meals.com bf50 to get 50% off your first box plus
00:21:45
20% off your next box while your subscription is active are you sober Louie no I just don't I don't drink that
00:21:52
much but I I've never quit anything I keep moderation think that's what's going to kill me moderation he's a food
00:21:58
guy he's a foodie type so every city you go to do you are you one of the guys that you know how to pick out the spots you
00:22:04
have the there's nothing open yeah well the problem is he only he doesn't drink and he only only eats one meal a day
00:22:09
after the shows and now everything's closed early so it's like yeah I know to pick the best waffle house I mean
00:22:14
there's not options okay it worked for Lance Armstrong why do anybody hey the guy from uh the guy over
00:22:22
there what's now what's your name again Amis and I know you're one bite away from being a full vampire but
00:22:31
I mean let's get the pal guy in Burbank that's so true holy [ __ ] dude please please keep going with it guy did all the stunts for Oppenheimer look that guy sorry Bobby no offense in your house
00:22:46
no off your oh please we love this sorry we we love this hit him as hard as you want he's fine he's smiling on Dave you don't wait when you wake up you don't eat breakfast no nothing what am I girl
00:22:59
for what what am I going to go to school so you you literally don't eat anything you know what I got on me right now you want to know I got a bag of prunes you want to look at
00:23:11
it thank you I'm kind of hoping like a cop Co what you got in that bag and you pull out a bag of you can go you
00:23:18
loser you have a cup of coffee you have a lot of coffee a lot of coffee and a lot of cigarettes this guy doesn't smoke
00:23:23
I really feel bad for him yeah you don't mind do you yeah I mean I've learned tricks like I keep my Jack outside of
00:23:29
the green room so it doesn't smell no I can't wait to apologize to him at his funeral I out live him
00:23:36
yeah how did your special go good yeah dude thanks thanks to you I mean you had me on your on the other podcast which
00:23:42
helped a lot and it's great I was able to sneak onto your more successful podcast now um special has so many great
00:23:48
jokes in it and yeah I just hit a million views like the other week wow wow Ally that's great doing the intro
00:23:55
for it the best the best comedian You' never heard of it I'm rapping it's so interesting that you didn't ask and
00:24:01
Andrew to be uh the intro well I didn't I wasn't sure if you guys would do it I had to ask first I had to I didn't I
00:24:07
asked about this podcast I had to sneak in with Dave you know so like this is this I'm get what I can well and also he
00:24:15
directed it he produced it he I mean like that's the Full Tilt that's him where' you shoot it at uh the comedy fort in Fort Collins yeah and I did have other people work at me but I'm Hands-On
00:24:26
with the whole thing it was cuz he had to connect to his ski base you know ski fans you're a big ski bomb that's why
00:24:33
it's a great Club but it's still like it's the best club you could possibly have in a small town in Colorado so you're telling like jokes about Jews and
00:24:39
blacks and they're like what are those and it what are those interesting but no I'm pretty happy with it Y and I love that set the the art of the set you know a brick wall
00:24:51
and two waters what more do you need it's not it's not it's no hot let's move on let's move on let's we plug it we wait go back to the beginning I'm in the beginning oh you
00:25:02
are come on there he is look at that Bobby's in it though weren't you just in that scroll through I think Bobby was in there there he is oh there's Robert
00:25:13
Ally it really is an insult to Ally such a beautiful girl why would I say that about her to you look at how much
00:25:19
prettier she is than never mind all right honestly dude look at me right now just a better Asian I honestly I don't know what happened today dud but it's like it's
00:25:29
aggressive it's not it is there's something that you're doing with your squinchy face and your [ __ ] red face I don't like it you know what I'm going
00:25:35
to say what we're renaming the show what is it it's very bad for very bad today we went a new level it's a new level today Dave do are you you're not married
00:25:46
look at me of course I'm not girlfriend nothing I'm totally I want to meet this Jewish girl like you're talking about I've heard tell of them yeah so you there no just zero nothing W that's the
00:25:59
best thing when you come out here there so many I was just in Austin the most am I right everywhere and I'm just once
00:26:06
again lurking around without the tie on yeah yeah no I don't know buddy I'm so old I I really you know I guess I have a lot of uh issues my mom I have to take care of her she has dementia stuff like
00:26:18
that so it's a lot of work and uh luckily she's doing okay but the uh the road is not fun I mean it's like you go out there you do your thing maybe you find a place to eat when you're you know like old so these young pups out there
00:26:30
of course having having some laughs how about you buddy I mean honestly I can assume on one of these apps you must be
00:26:36
the real get no I'm no apps I'm yeah I'm just Raja I'm out the Raja I figured you
00:26:44
yeah yeah yeah I'm on it yeah is that what it's called Rya yeah it's called Rya what did I sign up for you got banned he got banned from a few apps I
00:26:50
got banned from all of them but Rya wow really wait like guess why this is even better why do you think he got banned I
00:26:56
I can't I didn't know you could get banned you can you can was it politics no nudity no no no but very accurate very accurate yeah yeah is your hashtag
00:27:11
bring money on the date something you got banned for being Asian how dare you wow you son of a [ __ ] dude he lied about his age wow on all of them
00:27:23
that's okay I thought that's okay it's not really yeah wow well I said I was 34 he was reported I'm 52 and what happens is wait that is not
00:27:33
even like you can't dance around that like did I tell you well I kind of lied I'm about 19 years older than I mean you
00:27:42
know I don't know what to tell you yeah two decades is a lie yeah but but my but but but they could just Google me and
00:27:47
then you know my name my you age is on the internet so it's like that's not what I was doing it for I mean can't they see the picture of you running from
00:27:53
the 9/11 Tower you said iszy said you were in grade school you're a day trader yeah um no what
00:28:05
because when you're 52 you get matched on those sides with other 50 you know people cuz they're younger a younger I
00:28:14
know women in their 30s are like they they they're cut off points 40 okay right so you're not getting them in you
00:28:20
know they're not getting your profile in there and there's a reason for that well what let me I'm curious well
00:28:27
they're not they are not interested in 52y Old Men I understand but can I can let me defend myself go ahead I will please who's aggressive now I don't yeah
00:28:39
yeah I'm sorry so let me defend myself please I'm going to you were thinking about W how no I'll defend him I'm not
00:28:47
thinking about dude this is what he does I'll defend him he's a young 52 a very young 52 no because by going to 34 and I've gotten on dates you know I mean and then they go yeah my my thing's at 40
00:29:01
but I'm glad I met you it's like I I I I play Young they want you to lie they're
00:29:06
forcing you to lie they're forcing you to lie they shouldn't have that thing on there a thing right all is welcome
00:29:14
that's what it should be called all all is welcome no it's all famous people welome they don't want the trash in
00:29:19
there exct right right yeah oh I'm a doctor and I work with the spe no get out of here Luther like get out of there
00:29:27
should be a where like you can lie about your age to the amount of money you have in your bank account the higher the bank account the more you can lie wow yeah
00:29:35
what about that sugar daddy thing I mean you'd be the awesome like I mean come on the young you know what I'm saying oh yeah there so there are sugar daddy
00:29:42
sites you don't want that do you want that I mean yeah but let me ask you about the sugar daddy sites how much
00:29:48
money are you if you're a sugar daddy yeah what's the limit here what do you mean of limit of what you have to spend
00:29:54
yeah because I there are there are sugar days I've been on them right and then it's like you know I mean
00:30:00
they're asking for a certain amount of money I'm like that's insane how much money do they asking for some you say like you know I mean like 50 Grand a
00:30:06
month I don't know 50 Grand to keep them in the lifestyle why not just get a B it's so much cheaper I know but some of
00:30:12
that's his expertise the guy with the backwards hat Carlos is a that he loves uh paid uh paid friends paid friends
00:30:20
yeah you don't have to go on seeking to get like a hot girl though can we can we go on seeking and look at the profiles
00:30:25
or no what's seeking this is this is It's a sugar Dy yeah yeah can we look at the see see
00:30:31
what's available here yeah my oh look at that I'll just you have a profile yeah he's already oh you have one I had one
00:30:37
yeah but the girl I saw she died like two months later wow so I got off I knew this would lead to a Cold Case yeah no dude what's even funnier about this is that you were on seeking
00:30:49
yeah but what you don't have any [ __ ] Mone you no money because they're not all they're asking you for 50 Grands
00:30:55
they know you're worth more right they're asking you for $50 oh [ __ ] you get the you you get you get
00:31:02
the bus pass girls they call us salt and pepper daddies what does that mean what does that mean it means uh it's not all
00:31:07
like sugar oh it's a little bitter it's a little bitter yeah so how much money do you think is U like if a girl goes well I I just need three grand a month I I well I'm I would say no to everything
00:31:20
even if I was single I'm not [ __ ] paying you four grand to hang out that's insane that's the I thought you had to put them up in an apartment and fly them
00:31:26
around the world some like that this is if you want a total disconnect and if you but if you just want yeah okay I
00:31:34
don't I know thatn no don't do this cuz they're here you know that's not true I like it's connecting you he wants to find love so [ __ ] bad he does he's
00:31:41
lying yeah you know you do this would be so weird and you you wouldn't get any sort of connection whatsoever it'd be
00:31:47
[ __ ] weird yeah well then you have to do it like everyone else in this town you have to shop at that Ralph's that's right that seems to be the place the
00:31:53
hook the place we the rock and roll routes on Sunset yeah yeah yeah that's a good one down there man it's
00:31:59
crazy yeah that is a pretty good there's some hot chicks there but more rock yeah get like also vampires like yourself you
00:32:05
know what I mean you're not into that what kind of you just like a you don't like tats and stuff like that they have to be taller easy which is
00:32:13
everybody everybody and they be taller right they have to have some education what what some form of Education you no not like give me some G
00:32:24
know above what about Street smarts no okay doesn't work with me wait a minute you're you don't have a college education why do you care that's why I want to breath bre everything see does
00:32:35
he doesn't have he wants the other part unite attractive we connect yeah I get it okay so attractive very attractive very that's a big one right um they have
00:32:46
to have um driver's license yeah yeah yeah some semblance of to vote yeah of culture you know what does that mean well they have to just like basically what I'm saying
00:32:58
is the things that you know you know that the other day I was telling that like you it's odd that you know certain
00:33:05
things I like you surprise me all the time yeah about like I want that people that read no no no the people that just
00:33:12
have they they're just kind of like oh I know about REM brand or I know about it's from Reading that's how
00:33:17
you how oh really yeah it's not like you're bit by a historian and all you have all the power not like Spider-Man
00:33:29
in 1476 that's so funny I think those are all accessible I think those are really
00:33:36
you didn't say anything crazy nothing crazy um actually the range of women that he has dated because I've been here
00:33:41
for all of it is it's actually pretty great you haven't had a typical they all kind of have a different style a different look they're like they've all been pretty cool so he he's some of them
00:33:53
you you haven't liked there's been there's there well there's one I'm like you you well you didn't like her either what the [ __ ] is I I know but you said I
00:34:00
don't like that you know when you know right away when your friend is with somebody and you're like oh my God this yeah I can't wait till you find out I
00:34:07
can't wait till you know that this is a terrible idea but the one thing you didn't say was sense of humor that's right yeah sense of humor no you don't
00:34:14
want that no I do you don't want you didn't say but I don't want here I I I I've I've dated hams breathe I dated
00:34:25
like you me like Hammy I don't like that terrible I does that a real song I don't even know a booty I'm on a booty you
00:34:33
know mean I don't like that you know I mean I like you know um like little Sly jokes you know what I mean she got to get your stuff right little roast like a
00:34:39
little roast yeah that's you know what I mean witty but laidback not like your improv one class exactly yeah I don't
00:34:45
like sketch like a sketch artist like a sketch player like what you do yeah I don't want me you don't want for the opposite I get it be you want a complimentary partner yeah and also I
00:34:56
need somebody that's um that isn't against like that that loves the culture of Korea who doesn't love
00:35:03
the culture of Korea yeah this guy wow yeah I I mean I want somebody to like like like I you know I was on it the girl that last week yes and you know I
00:35:15
would I go have you ever had um Shabu Shabu have you had Shabu Shabu I was just in Vegas I didn't see
00:35:21
him playing in is that a magician is that a contortionist who is that ladies and gentlemen Shabu
00:35:27
[Laughter] hey I know him yeah he was the roommate of Siran sir thank you Bobby for Shing my memory of culture shabo shab you know shabo
00:35:39
shab boiling water the grilled it's the grilled stuff oh no it's the boiling water it's boiling water and it's [ __ ] Phenom I can't recommend this
00:35:45
more if you're a big foodie dude go to a shabo's place while you're here I'm down do they make you cook it yeah I don't
00:35:50
like that no no it's I need someone else to understand what you're doing you can get them to cook it they don't that's
00:35:55
fine the places I go they don't they don't like to but you choose your broth right so it's like you know
00:36:01
there's always a variety of five like bone broth a tomato broth Hot Pot Hot Pot is correct that's correct that is
00:36:08
correct that is correct all right so like you know last she's like and she goes well she's from the Midwest she's like i't even heard of that yeah that's
00:36:15
okay yeah but that's not fair I mean maybe she just called No but she did go she was like but I'm willing to try yeah
00:36:20
and she went and she had a great time she's like I love this she say what is this garbage and like spit it all out on
00:36:26
American flag God what are you doing to me my point is I want them to like be able to like you know try things yeah you well they she did wear Trump shoes to the date that
00:36:38
you did say that turned off off a little no no she did the gold ones the gold ones the limited edition gold ones you
00:36:45
want the kind of girl you could sit on the couch and watch a movie with right what would the movie be go ahead oh sh
00:36:51
go ahead go ahead parasite what would it be I hope you know the Korean Cinema well like you know I've done like old boy with the dates squid game no that's a series it's too long well depends on
00:37:05
how much you like her yeah oh that's true you start with old boy then you get squid game if you can u a good movie is memor memories of a murder of Aisha oh
00:37:13
memories of a murder SE that it's good it's so good and so you know a Korean film and then um that's it have you guys
00:37:21
seen old boy by the way yeah which version of it though there's like two Kore the Korean that's the one the other
00:37:27
one I'm not so sure about yeah yeah so good one you got to watch it I saw it when it someone gave me like a bootleg
00:37:33
when it came out this was back when there were bootlegs and like right when it got good it started skipping Kevin Shay got me a bootleg that's that
00:37:39
started skipping Kevin who Kevin Shay I'm not supposed to mention him on here sorry I'd like you to mention more very good and would your lady also
00:37:49
be like she smokes like she's not that's not like well I quit for a while I just started smoking again as you know he's
00:37:55
giving me [ __ ] about I've been giving him a little bit of [ __ ] because we trying to put it away but it's uh he's I quit for two years and then what what
00:38:01
made you Jessie our opener oh when we go we have an opener yeah and she smoked and you know and every once in a while i' be like and then all everyone was [ __ ] smoking and then it was like you know then he started sneaking them and
00:38:13
then back out control it's so crazy how it grabs you it's tough I've heard that's the most addictive thing like more than anything else but there's
00:38:19
nothing like nothing like it really there's nothing like it the Vapes don't you know I mean the dipping it just it's
00:38:26
you are so right buddy yeah you a pack a day what oh more than that no wow but I
00:38:31
would say that do you do you kind of regret the two years you didn't smoke what' you say two years that you
00:38:37
took off no because look what happened just he would just dip the whole time oh well there you go hands and cans of dip now that's hard to find a lady that enjoys that I know I know got to go down
00:38:49
south you kind of look like you run of bies anyhow so this would be great got a sail on jerky and dip I mean what are
00:38:56
you looking for Dave uh everything you just said I thought that was great except for that Korean knowledge stuff I mean maybe we'll watch a mash
00:39:03
you know occasionally right right right right right do you guys think it's actually harder to meet someone because you're successful and famous I've said
00:39:10
that to him all the time I'm happy that I'm married because I when now that he single again and we go out on the road
00:39:16
and like you know our nights usually end in such dramatically different ways now where like me and some of these bozos
00:39:21
we'll get food and then he he wants to go on the hunt no no no the hunt he's on the hunt I'm on the hunt yeah he likes to fish that's what we call it when he goes I know when he's going fishing when he sneaks away I sneak away and he likes
00:39:32
to be a you know he likes to go in his little we let him go into the with my mask yeah do you have them my swords I
00:39:38
sneak away very sneaky sir do you like have them put like like your TV shows like on the TV at the bar so you're just
00:39:45
casually like sitting there like hey look at that that's me like do you try and like show that you're they'll put on new car smell in the bar
00:39:52
sometime this is perfect no Lou what do you do what ises going on the hunt mean like why don't you just wait till after
00:39:58
the show and meet someone after the show I don't know how Dave feels about it but I I don't think in the last 20 years
00:40:04
I've hooked up with somebody that didn't know who I was before well I'm just going to say this buddy you know what my
00:40:10
lady is merch yeah that's right yeah hey guys Bobby you got to get with religion and that's merch that'll take all the energy out of you put up a link right here to Dave's merch please
00:40:23
that's his lady Zach dog is a free app and a website where you can search and compare highly rated in network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online here's the good thing I
00:40:36
just moved okay I moved again uh and I'm happy because I got Zach do I don't know
00:40:42
where you're going to find doctors and dentists and all that stuff I didn't know where to turn to with Zach do it's
00:40:48
so easy uh you search once you find the doc you want you can book them immediately no more waiting awkwardly on
00:40:53
hold with a receptionist or going through a different service this is simplified all these docs have verified reviews from actual real patients that's
00:41:01
right you do that with food yeah you do you do that with other things why you do why wouldn't you do that with your
00:41:07
life the typical wait time to see a doctor booked on Zach do is between just 24 to 72 hours that's it you can even
00:41:13
score same day appointments I found a doc on Zach do and I got one in about 24 hours just shy of that it was incredible convenient simple and easy what are you
00:41:24
waiting for go to zocdoc.com badri and download the Zach do app for free then find and book a top rated doctor today
00:41:31
that's Zach do.com zocdoc.com badri zach.com badri why you bring your backpack you're leaving I'm getting on my prunes please don't leave Dave I'm not
00:41:44
leaving yeah yeah go ahead it's just distracting you know mean I can't do this talk while you
00:41:49
searching for prunes love wow what what do the prunes do wow you did you do any schooling or
00:41:58
no what do the prunes do it's weird when an Asian guy doesn't know anything about produce that is just really weird what
00:42:04
do they do yeah they move things through the body it's God's OIC so anybody prune
00:42:11
I'd love with prune throw me a prune I I would love a prune Bob you want a prune I like prun while you do your speech good thing is easy to hose down these
00:42:16
plastic chairs because thank you thank you thank you I'd be careful with those guys you're
00:42:22
not used to them just one of them right I'm serious I'm not [ __ ] around one prune is going to careful with them
00:42:28
appreciate it what they going to make you poo like a lot yeah you're going to [ __ ] a lot oh yeah but one prune isn't
00:42:34
going to knock me out no you got to eat you have to eat a bunch if you're not used to it all right relax Lou one prune
00:42:41
I don't want you getting high off prune man leave me alone dude I'm Mak my own choice what about dates is dates the
00:42:48
same as broes or no here no eat all of them well this sad here you want some no holy [ __ ] he's got to eat all of them h these are delicious I'm Bobby Lee it's a healthy choice oh my God I got a
00:43:02
[ __ ] anyway let's um what you pluging Dave I got the hot crust buns on Netflix
00:43:07
that just came out check that this is the recorder oh look at that or they to Le the saxophone
00:43:15
now I'm going to take you through it cuz I know we got a lot of homeschoolers in the
00:43:21
room who never played the recorder it's a musical instrument it's somewhere between a a flute and a bong all right okay I hate watching myself but seeing
00:43:32
my uh bags under my eyes I think tells the whole story yeah where'd you shoot that Cobb San Francisco great great
00:43:40
crowd and my crowds are really good he'll tell you my crowds love they kind of Ruin you for other crowds because
00:43:45
because they're so they really are you guys got to come on my show some sometimes love them um how's that room I
00:43:51
I it's so the ceilings are so high I love C we're about to go both do it yeah I know I haven't done it in you're used to the you remember the punch line the old punch line has love that one yeah that's the thing it's like the some of
00:44:02
those clubs they really spoil you too but I like cobs and I really love the the crowds up there they totally like
00:44:08
there's no filter with them they they like it hard they they're good but the punch line I mean if you guys could just sell less tickets I'm telling you it's
00:44:14
the best where I am we talked last night about um about cobs uh because I said it's so funny that years ago there was like this weird I don't know narrative sometimes Comics be like oh San
00:44:26
Francisco like they had this idea it was all [ __ ] yeah it was all [ __ ] like they were like oh they're tied up
00:44:31
there or they're you don't think so I do I do not every time I've played San Francisco it doesn't feel the way that I
00:44:37
was prepared for it to feel cuz they're your fans no but even when I no when I first was starting out touring when I
00:44:43
first did when I first played uh punch you know whatever it was still great I mean maybe I was also just a little I
00:44:50
think I was expecting worse and so it turned out I was like [ __ ] this is great I don't but I think that that narrative
00:44:55
was just filled into into our brains for some reason and I just assume the worst but now even more so it's phenomenal I
00:45:03
mean I have so much fun when I go because that was always a big comedy Town San Francisco was like big a lot of
00:45:08
great Comics coming out of there you know Ally of course right me and Louis that's way you started right so you feel
00:45:14
like it might have been tight huh I find it I find it every time I go there I'm like it's beautiful maybe I could live here and then I do a set like just
00:45:20
trying to work out around town I'm like no I couldn't I can't work out here oh wow but that's different that's that that's at like the little bar shows
00:45:26
where I'm just working out between I feel like that's bar shows in any City are going to feel a little unwelcoming
00:45:31
maybe it's the being in New York for so long because I've been living there for like 15 years it changes the west coast
00:45:38
up and down the West Coast the crowds feel different than except for San Diego San Diego San Diego and Irvine are both
00:45:43
pretty dope but love them we have so much fun in San Diego so much fun yeah that's cuz he's from down there too so
00:45:48
it's chaos yeah I love it there yeah that that show we did there was magical I we we get to we get like an all Mexican audience down south it's my [ __ ] favorite it's my [ __ ]
00:45:59
favorite wow they they they want a party like they just want a full show to just
00:46:04
go nuts they're not they're they're live right away there is no like warming them up you know it's awesome yeah they are
00:46:11
loyal fans too oh my God yeah Bobby you've done like towns you've done like that Southwest Circuit that like you
00:46:17
really have to be like you know it it definitely is like the Tex Mech circuit like Corpus Christie I Lov it I've never
00:46:24
like I I've never played there wow you never did any of that cuz it's Whatchamacallit I'm uh you know El
00:46:29
Diablo Blanco right white man they just hiss at you yeah I I've done El Paso that's fun yeah I have you done El Paso all the Texas oh my God I played the Mal de oo the evil
00:46:44
ey some kind of May yeah but you know um but there's some markets I've never even played like Montana North Dakota have you done those we're trying to it do a Stan hope Doug
00:46:58
Stan is the only guy who really like has like paved the path through those kind of areas where he just get in a van and
00:47:04
go from like bar show the bar show the bar show that was like Wyoming Montana bis I played the dtas you know but not
00:47:11
like he has so he's always the guy like you know where to go yeah when you were living out here did you ever do triple
00:47:17
runs do you know what that is I maybe just a little bit but I didn't never I never did the full one is anything is it
00:47:23
somewhere like scissoring oh how about a trible run there was a guy there was guy who used
00:47:29
to make a thing that that was it look at that Dave trible that was his name back then and he would he would get young
00:47:34
Comics to play like SE rooms and you would do holiday North Nevada Montana uh you do Idaho and you do small little yeah Stan hope I think talked to me about doing them a few they be like six
00:47:47
to 10 hours apart so your days would be [ __ ] yeah yeah you're in a van you're you're driving yeah yeah and I lost
00:47:53
money I got I got two speeding tickets trying to make the show really yeah and I lost a bunch of money wow and I was
00:48:00
crying the whole way like I'm [ __ ] I can't pay for so sad it's it's sad how like there aren't like good flights anymore like the I guess I took it for granted all those years like the like
00:48:10
flights to Idaho flights you know all these different things it's so difficult you know like to get to these towns but I still miss doing the towns you know
00:48:17
yeah yeah what's your favorite Town what do you like San Diego is your home base
00:48:23
go ahead I'll tell you my favorite clubs yeah what's too funny I don't know the way he said it was funny yeah I I I want
00:48:29
to get involved here we go Comedy on State Street that's a great one [ __ ] love
00:48:36
it yeah Denver their Comedy Works downtown okay I'm not yelling at you all right just give us one more and then you can l no I want to keep going all right all right I got another one I know what
00:48:48
it is I bet Cleveland h a great one Nick Nick yeah he is I mean I love [ __ ] yeah so good and
00:48:59
after you do the week there does he give you like a bat with your name on it like just here's a little something yeah
00:49:05
something like like you know I know you have to fly and you're going to have to get this to airport security yeah you know you don't mind
00:49:11
carrying this wooden train that these pris they're big fancy but even when you I've stopped by like when we play CL I stopped by the club that's and he was there and he was so like you want a meal
00:49:22
yeah let me make you something like he's like the nicest guy I wish I went you didn't let me go
00:49:28
and then there's that little alley Printer's Alley they call it yeah Printer's Alley that's the that's what
00:49:33
it's on oh that's right that little alley with the coffee shop in the restaurants so tight so um and then but they used to one have one in bellw in
00:49:40
Seattle called Parlor Live it's no longer there anymore yeah what's in Seattle now what club is it
00:49:46
laughs but it's weird it's one of those cities where it's like there's not really a big Club there just laughs but
00:49:52
but yeah everything keeps shutting down yeah yeah why why why do some cities don't have a major like Boston does
00:49:58
Boston have one yeah Wilbur wi theer kind of taking over but there it's not a comedy CL but it used to be a big comedy
00:50:05
well Nicks was there right ni Nick and laugh Boston laugh Boston but they're both smaller clubs it's weird Portland has a better scene than Seattle and
00:50:11
Portland's a smaller City he and Portland awesome oh yeah but my of the improvs DC Improv give it up the best
00:50:17
give it up Allison H so good this is great oh my God yeah it's but also but I can't they don't give you the money you want sorry well it is in a big basement we're only going to give you this amount
00:50:29
and that's it this is what we give every right I'm like yeah but uh but I'm going to sell it out yeah is this recent or
00:50:36
years ago maybe 10 years ago okay well you're going to get more money now okay okay okay Dave [ __ ] man I mean honestly
00:50:43
otherwise play the uh Kennedy Center okay but here are towns I don't like pittsbur Pittsburgh really I'm going there Pittsburgh improv I can't wait
00:50:55
prove Bobby raw come that you like it yeah it's F it's just uh what was I going to say like it's me it's more about the flight that's the direct flight so I'm in okay direct flight big deal oh I have some [ __ ] right here and
00:51:06
I want to say talk [ __ ] right now let's hear it Hartford Funny Bone and Virginia
00:51:11
Beach Funny Bone no [ __ ] them wow they had me one time right one [ __ ] time and then I try to go back and they're like it's not for us really yeah it's not for us it's not for us wow because I
00:51:26
show my little pee people love that it's for everybody everyone knows I could see in
00:51:33
Connecticut cuz that's a rough Market I mean there's no I play the casino there that's what you I've never heard of a
00:51:38
being like I will sell out your club and they're like no thanks yeah well the contingency is his
00:51:44
penis I mean that's well I didn't like I pulled it out I just you know I'm wild yeah you're crazy I'm free and I'm wild
00:51:49
up there you know but the beauty is you're not for everybody and they're not for you so that's a yeah but but it's it's a business right so if I'm selling
00:51:55
tickets don't you ever just want to like uh rent out the parking lot across the street say I'm doing my own show and say
00:52:01
[ __ ] you to them I fantasize about that all the time Stan hope used to do he did that at the um JFL at the JFL thing and
00:52:08
who's got the last laugh I be it's Doug am I right yeah this one he would outlive JFL did he really do that yeah he had his own party it was dope he rented out a car wash and he just had it
00:52:20
in the car wash and everybody kept dripping away and going over to his party because it was [ __ ] incredible
00:52:26
was awesome oh my want if you could do that yeah because they dissed him in some way or what yeah yeah yeah yeah
00:52:33
okay I think I think it was also that but he also kind of he just likes making fun [ __ ] take place and just a place for
00:52:40
Comics he does like do like all the you know the laws corporate hubbub yeah well
00:52:46
it was like the cool thing was it's always you know those parties up there like they're kind of parties but you're kind of sh smoing so it's not really fun
00:52:51
also agents don't know how to have fun and you know execs don't know how to have fun he made an act he had an fun
00:52:56
party at JFL right mostly for Comics yeah yeah Doug is my favorite comic so of all time you think yeah no I think Doug nobody does like him no one ever he's like uh the Whatchamacallit he he's
00:53:08
the original I think who's your least favorite comic of all time well in the in this room
00:53:14
or you did the lights again did you have a story where you and I when you and him stopped talking for
00:53:21
some reason was there like ever a Fallout with you guys no when you guys were writing together why did it stop it was
00:53:27
we were riding together for like 4 days when I opened for him it wasn't like it wasn't like months and months ring thing
00:53:33
I no it was a brief it was a brief and he moved yes he always he would come to New York he's like you look pale go back to LA everything sucks here because you're the I'll be honest with you out
00:53:44
of all these years of riding with so many people you were the best one thank you that's very nice no one takes it
00:53:50
more he really does the work but he he understands also the way I talk and my voice and he was able to not like cut
00:53:58
around the fat on the setups and stuff so we can get to the thing and you were just able to like get my um Cadence down
00:54:04
oh thanks and so and then you moved and like the couple of jokes that we did I still have it in my ax sometimes awesome
00:54:10
and it's like and it's like where the come back wow I'm back so let's do it do you live here now yeah I have I'm here
00:54:17
in New York but I am here yeah no but I I thought it was going to be like we only worked for 4 days and then we wrote
00:54:22
The Karate Kid like it at together it's just spitball and I'm writing it down and then I'm playing this guy and I'm like Mr Miyagi and he's like watch out Daniel and it's like boom next thing you
00:54:34
know Emmy I mean whatever that is a just come back man but I would love to work with you again that would that would it's well maybe I mean I mean how many dates do you do with Dave on the road he's a headliner he very he's his
00:54:47
own guy yeah less and less as it as it is but uh yeah ohome okay I'm I don't want to downgrade you as a feature my my
00:54:54
bad as a headlight I I know that you're headlin right congratulations you have your own special and everything congratulations on
00:55:00
YouTube on there it's on YouTube all right I plug HS over a million watch out beheading videos watch out Islamic jahad jamah I'm heading your
00:55:14
way every anyway yeah welcome back yeah I'd like to beet your wife too oh yeah you should she's really nice okay I like this will be great your wife makes a mean uh what is that again turn soup
00:55:27
you'll love it makes a great give me a name something I didn't buy Ukrainian bride this is she's a she's not turnup suit she's a very nice lady Italian lady from West CO from the West Coast she's
00:55:38
from the west coast and we but we met in New York I think when you live in New York you're kind of still drawn to California people yeah um so you not
00:55:45
Dave no well he's from New York you know Dave is there a date where you're gonna be like okay this is I'm getting I mean
00:55:51
is there an age where you're I'll be 60 next year it's going to either happen then or no it's either that or I started
00:55:57
dog Sanctuary I figured this got like one of those things like yeah you know the dogs get me you know that yeah but
00:56:03
you think can you see yourself doing it at 70 no I don't think I'll live that long I mean but i' say 60 I probably
00:56:10
make it next year but I already did a will so did you really make a will yeah but you but cuz I I I can like I I have
00:56:16
arthritis in my hands now no you do yeah yeah I'm just I can see feel myself getting old that sucks my knees you know those nun really do when you mishandle them all the time it just gets your
00:56:30
that's true that's true oh so you're thinking Now's the Time now or never right what do you mean with a with a
00:56:35
woman right you want to get a yeah I I'm I think I'm well I talked to this girl this morning she's she's just had a baby
00:56:41
okay so that's the girl you're kind of hoping no no she was telling me she like B she goes Bobby I'm telling you I don't know why I didn't do this earlier this
00:56:51
is the best thing that's ever happened to me oh how old is she she's probably 34 age for it right right I'm trying to
00:56:58
I'm trying right now I like like right now no not right now but like no but she is ovulating like so I have to I have to
00:57:06
I have to go and bust it you want to get out of here no I mean like we'll see what time we get how old are you I'm uh 44 so it's it's that's another great age
00:57:13
yeah it's good age they're all good ages they're good AG look at your staff of young young men over
00:57:19
there well that great fathering years our vampire Andre he's 116 that's a great age not having a baby yeah I'm regretting it regretting it
00:57:30
right now be real really no I do yeah I mean like uh you know relationship whatever
00:57:35
but I it would be nice to have some kids but honestly um you know the lifestyle we have is not very conducive a lot of
00:57:41
the road stuff is just you know endless amount of travel and all that kind of stuff but yeah I would like to you know
00:57:48
yeah but you could still me Steve Martin did it late well but he's a genius though everybody always brings him up
00:57:54
there's a lot of there's a lot of legendary comics like but Albert Brooks and but these guys are like one of the kind genius Dave yeah you are that yeah
00:58:01
all right but I can't see me and my son on a trible run son you ever been to a comfort in
00:58:08
Montana son but you know you're a legend right I don't like I know I'm just saying I don't say it I know but you're
00:58:15
like somebody that's like don't I know I'm going to no I don't what are you smoking for we're all in the I'm not
00:58:22
smoking I'm just getting nervous but I'm hey we're all we're all we're all in the trenches together I know but I know but
00:58:28
I'm just I dude let me say you want to smoke yeah I want to smoke now too what I want to say is like I have Asian kids
00:58:34
come up to me and go oh man dude like thank you and you're let you know what I mean and I go I haven't made it yet you
00:58:40
know that's the feeling yeah I haven't like I'm still trying to discover and get get to the next level or whatever so
00:58:47
it doesn't feel it feels like I'm old when they say that but in in it's true to them yeah no that they they look up to me and they when they were young they saw me on Mt TV or whatever I might be
00:58:59
and wait what I'm listening okay so any it was about me for a minute wasn't it yeah that to no but I like that just I wish you could both accept that about
00:59:11
yourselves and stop talking [ __ ] to yourselves in your heads you know yeah yeah easy Dr Seuss whoever you are Dave
00:59:18
no but I was just going to say but whenever somebody comes at you with that like dude you like you don't
00:59:24
know man like like you're it's always your worst day it's it always for me it's like oh my God my catherer fell out
00:59:32
what are you saying yeah yeah but yeah you hate it I I'm I'm just not a compliment guy but I
00:59:38
I understand like we've been doing this for decades and the thing that that people really don't understand is that
00:59:43
you know the the the best Comics are the ones that are fun hang offstage and on stage and you're definitely both of
00:59:49
those man like it's just you're you're a good guy and always good to us so you know it's a scene it's a it's a
00:59:55
lifestyle it's a lifestyle yeah I think a lot of the new Comics they come here and they kind of go like um do you have
01:00:01
any advice they'll say and I'll be like well get comfortable shoes because you're going to be standing in front of comedy clubs probably for the next 20
01:00:06
years you know it's that kind of thing take care of your feet and it's never what they want to hear but it really is
01:00:11
like you got to like commit to it you know and once you can like there's nothing more you ever want to do so it
01:00:18
it is unbelievable I mean you never think because remember the early days where you're like I don't know how I'm
01:00:23
going to do it I mean what was your backup there was there I I didn't have one with your love of Art and
01:00:31
history yeah and so I just just remember going how and then I'm so glad I didn't
01:00:36
quit yeah that's what that's what it is just just not quitting well there's there's hard work and talent but yeah not quitting is all I know you got to have that I believe more in hard work than talent but I agree that there are
01:00:47
some people that are just like G gifted at this but I'd say that the uh the hard
01:00:52
work especially like you know when things like you have those those highs and lows and when like you're like we we
01:00:58
talk about this all the time like just this no new material I can't believe it like we're trying and listening to tapes and all stuff and then they finally get
01:01:04
like the the clouds part and like God look down on you or whatever you're like okay great well this will keep me going
01:01:10
till the next you know till the next run so that feeling is so and when you first start that's what it is you're like oh my god oh I figured something out
01:01:17
that'll keep me going you know yeah that's it that's it I like it is something happening under the table no nothing no no I'm I'm listen I'm I I'm absorbing what you just said
01:01:32
the information yeah and that's right I have to take more risks that's what it is is that what you got out of I think I got out of yeah I got you got Tove
01:01:39
you're you got to start I would love to you keep saying that but we should just do un let let's just move on from it I don't want talk about so we're not going
01:01:45
to do it again what about do you exercise yeah I do what I think that's a little I think it's a little personal I sorry my bad my bad no no you do the I just had my um my
01:01:59
shoulder operated on and that was like uh six months ago and then you have to ease your way back in that's what I so
01:02:05
uh I do like a little hotel workout but this is the guy really he knows he actually goes to the hotel gym which I don't like to do he does that he's that
01:02:12
I can see that I love it so it keeps me kind of s a little sane yeah especially because it it's like a I like the scheduling of it all because if I say I'm going to go get coffee and write and
01:02:23
read and hang for a minute then I'll go make sure just go to the gym from this time to this time then I feel like I'm
01:02:28
good to not yeah you know what I mean I feel like it frees me up in some weird way I I can't sleep if I don't ex do
01:02:34
some kind of exercise I got some kind of crazy I'll I'll go sometimes on the road I'll go for super super late night walks
01:02:40
I'll just walk for a while I'll get tired yeah I'll just think it out put stuff down on my phone and then I'll be exhausted by the time I get home I like
01:02:46
to walk as well yeah love it what when we're on the road I'll wake up and then I'll go to the lobby and he's already had a full day day he's got golf clubs
01:02:59
you know bring running Sho I mean he's got all kinds of things meetings he had and I'm literally just like I'm just
01:03:04
like what what what what is it and I I just feel like I started a small business by the time but it's like um
01:03:13
like you just wake up at 800 in the morning it's like 7 o'clock every day 7 like when you're on the road what time do you wake up I I don't really sleep on
01:03:19
the roads I I keep falling asleep in my clothes which I do you really cuz I there's something about like you put that hotel TV on and it's always like movies like oh my God Lord of the Rings
01:03:30
of Trilogy and I'll be like I'll just watch a few minutes and just like the whole thing goes and I'll just wake up my clothes and I'll run downstairs to
01:03:36
smoke so I'd say the majority of my action on hotels is going out to smoke coming back in uh reassuring the desk
01:03:44
guy out front that I'm not um you know a threat you know and then I'd like to walk that's what I do and you know I I I think um especially if you're like it's
01:03:54
rare to be in a downtown now it's usually all these clubs are out out of town so you're like walking on highways
01:03:59
you're going you know like all these weird things but when you're downtown there's a lot to do so or at least walk around so that I try and do that do you
01:04:05
try to get hotels with balconies so you can smoke on the balcony you can't do that they don't want you to do that either oh really yeah every uh every fun
01:04:12
thing about smoking has been ruined even in Vegas they don't they there's very few smoking hotels now it's funny
01:04:18
because there's a hotel we're playing in Vegas and there's a hotel right near us that is part of the chain of hotels that
01:04:24
they own and one of them is non-smoking and non-gambling and it's like right off
01:04:30
the strip wow who was that for it's called ARA or ARA what is it Arya right yeah what is it an
01:04:37
Amish it's so strange though it's non-smoking non-gambling it's not it's right is it it's not a casino or is it a
01:04:43
hotel just a hotel oh wow which is right next to where we're playing it was weird cuz they talked to us about that they were like do you want to stay at this
01:04:48
this or whatever well do you want to stay there no why cuz I want smoking and gambling I that's [ __ ] Las Vegas
01:04:55
don't have Corner though man what's that don't they have like nightclubs and stuff there
01:05:00
isn't it like it's still like party there no no Dancing noish Yeah it's foot loose and the lights are an illusion
01:05:07
it's actually there is no lights CGI no that's just the the brightness of the people in there we're
01:05:12
such good people hey're great I would live there I mean if IAS Second City I would probably live there really let's move I'm with you buddy that be cool do they got great restaurants now do yeah
01:05:24
24 hour 24 hours yeah you were talking about that excess save a couple of bucks on taxes really Nevada no state tax yeah
01:05:32
Nicholas Cage oh why we got a go n Nikki lives there you know yeah Nikki's there that be and Paulie Shore Paulie's back
01:05:38
now there's a lot of guys we know that live there yeah yeah yeah yeah and then you stage time what that stage time
01:05:44
doesn't Regan live there now Brian but there that club Wise Guys have you been there no it was great really it
01:05:52
was the one like off the strip it's like all like uh it was in the strip mall and I'm telling you like it was so much fun
01:05:57
like uh Jeff Ross was in town so he came by did shows with me and it was just U the locals they get it you know like
01:06:03
talk about a more jaded crowd like you know they like live with these Cirus solay people so it's like when they yeah
01:06:09
you know and it's also like pretty pretty uh big coin out there to go to see any show it's so expensive so like
01:06:15
comedy's pretty reasonable on that level but like Amphitheater style not so much what's the room seat probably about 400
01:06:21
oh wow that's great yeah I want to play that why you kill it yeah I'll play there a little sneaky you do s like
01:06:27
sneaky one nighter there yeah let's do sneaky white that'll be fun no sneaky white white people are sneaky sure youve
01:06:34
never seen the movies Oppenheimer sneaky sneaky that's not the Pearl Harbor was sneaky but what
01:06:40
they did sneaky sneaky sneaky and then bum bum they all die put a Japanese person in that movie man who what yeah it's already over what do you
01:06:54
mean they already it's done we again well up Hummer too man well you were the one you wanted more black people in Black Panther and yeah I did limit W's
01:07:02
too small for me too small he wants more bigger more he wants more look at oh my God there's a documentary on um I talked
01:07:08
about this on HBO about oh my God what about what about [ __ ] the Hiroshima Nagasaki oh right yeah and then um the
01:07:16
people so people ran into like they these Vats of water this is the fun part of the show yeah took a turn you're
01:07:24
going to love you know when when the bombs hit and have you heard of Black Rain yes no what is it that's the
01:07:32
radiation coming down with the soot and all kind of stuff yeah yeah yeah when when the bomb that's the actual material
01:07:37
stuff that goes up off the initial glass but people got people got so thirsty they drank item yeah and
01:07:43
then well with the nuclear explosion they have they had uh Shadows of people that would just melted actually into the
01:07:50
uh side Sidewalk cement why'd you wink at me just now you winked him right back me I know you know why I winked at you we love it that was a that was actually a cool movie that was uh what's his name
01:08:01
Michel like Black Rain baraco Rain could you ever could you ever be like an action person mov guy that's actually the best
01:08:12
cuz like there's very few lines for people like us like yeah watch out you're fun you're being Bob would be great in action movie
01:08:19
thank you so much Lou two days ago I got offered one yeah what is it the lead of a [ __ ] action movie yeah what is it
01:08:25
it's a doble ganger where I'm a doubleganger that's great you gotta say the word first yeah you're a Bogle
01:08:31
ganger doble ganger quite frankly I think I'd be a good assassin I do think you would be a great assassin my friend yeah number one I don't sleep that's
01:08:38
right right and I I'm very focused like when I'm playing stard Valley it's a farming simulation game I'm sorry yeah yeah for his ancestors for my ancestors
01:08:48
yeah I'm very focused and what that's why I'm good at video games is because I I like grinding so I'm very good at like
01:08:54
noticing things you would would a scope be hard for you to look through though I'd get a one more adjusted my eyes and
01:09:01
I I I think I could St sit sit there put your arm put your arm straight out can you hold your arm
01:09:07
steady put your arm straight forward straight just straight out you going to shame me you know how steady is your hand that's the whole big thing about
01:09:12
snipers oh yeah steady oh [ __ ] yeah Steady Hand look at that this is great that's
01:09:19
shaking you do yours shaking no it's not look at it yeah me either then pretty good you guys are both pretty good I think you can both be S thanks it looks like it looks
01:09:30
like you both were hiling a young Hitler hey little guy keep it up keep it up young Hitler coming soon one day you will be great I'm sorry to funny our way out of
01:09:41
that one oh that that was during the '92 LA yeah that yeah yeah good old days do
01:09:47
you remember that yeah yeah I was here the Koreans were yes up on the [ __ ] store oh yeah fighting look at him
01:09:53
laughing oh I I sh the blocker okay they thank why don't you thank our guests for being on the show we're really going to end on that yeah I want
01:10:07
to let that sit why guys why it's always nice oh we did a long time it's always nice to put it in that spot did we do
01:10:13
long did we really do a long time yeah awesome see we're breaking it through over an hour I love it yeah thank you
01:10:19
that was long it was good um thanks for so let's let's plug your Dave Netflix special yes Hot Cross Buns Hot Cross Buns Netflix and big thanks to all the fans who've been watching it supporting
01:10:30
it tweeting it all that stuff and my comedy friends awesome dude I can't thank respect love to you guys thank you
01:10:36
yeah Lou cats yes I got a new special on YouTube and uh I'm gonna plug some dates
01:10:42
too I'll be at the uh no don't do it okay yeah please please do can I I'm at zany in Chicago and I'm at the punch
01:10:48
line in San Francisco and I'm in the DC Improv also go to Lou cast.com to get any of those tickets I will say this
01:10:54
before we go I really do I want to give you I know this is annoying for you Dave but massive amount of props for you're
01:11:00
always such a supporter of the comedy community and Comics are my good friend Ian who you know you know Ian yes just
01:11:06
with Ian in Austin he crushed it check out Ian uh be Ian that's his podcast and I would say if you're GNA see a guy live he's the guy this guy great joke writer I mean talking here this guy blows me
01:11:19
away every time I see stuff so I have a compliment for you okay oh this is great it's like a circle jerk um and this is the truth thing yeah
01:11:26
so any comic thanks for listening you guys have a good night good night no do it please no any
01:11:34
young comic when they're like I don't know how to write or whatever right I always like refer to them to certain albums right and skanks For The Memories
01:11:39
in terms of switches and just like you know being in the pocket and that you know and and they they I always refer
01:11:45
them to that album it's one of the best comedy albums of all time I think it is yeah it's just the jokes are so good oh
01:11:52
thanks yeah so anyway thanks for being a bad friend woo wo woo wo