00:00:00
from the bad Friends [Music]
00:00:08
[Applause]
00:00:13
[Music] [Applause] Podcast thank you so much so um this guy
00:00:20
right here Andrew Santino give him a round of applause oh thanks man thanks he's a piece of
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[ __ ] all right he's ugly but anyway I know he's not he's hot as [ __ ] okay all
00:00:31
right I've sucked his dick three times all right all right so um it's delicious so my point is is that we didn't know
00:00:38
what song it was and we went in the woods over there is there a Woods over there there's no Woods there isn't we went in the darkness the darkness and we
00:00:44
rehearsed it for the first time so excuse us so you're getting it the first time all right the first time we've ever done this all right are you going to
00:00:52
help us sing Josh ask help are you guys ready to go you guys
00:00:58
ready to go 1 2 3
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4 oh what I want you
00:01:11
guys hold on hold on you're too early now no we got it he still we [ __ ]
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rehears the [ __ ] Fe he got it no he stops and then you go got it one more
00:01:22
time 1 2 3 four yeah yeah two more times it is I'll tell you
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win no wi [ __ ] here we go what I want
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you got my [Music] behind cand
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[Music] C thought dreams scatter and you pull
00:01:50
them all together and I can't explain oh
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yeah well you you make my dreams come
00:02:05
true well well well you you making my dreams come
00:02:13
[Music] true you two are bad friends who are
00:02:19
these two idiots a white dude and an Asian dude you two are
00:02:25
disgusting you two are something we're bad friends you have to take your close
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off don't burn your cigarette on your shirt don't burn your shirt with your
00:02:41
cigarette good boy all the way or yeah sure we can blur
00:02:50
it go ahead no no we'll do it we'll blur it go ahead come on in wow it's so funny and
00:02:56
so small come on in I mean it's a no it's it's not it's nice it's actually kind of nice it's so dark your penis is
00:03:04
the darkest penis I've ever seen in my entire life come here real quick let me see hey look at this coming to you live
00:03:09
from Cancun Mexico we're here with Bobby Lee sir oh my sleeping God it's so sleepy
00:03:16
peepy F he's so sleepy come on get in here let's get in the tub this is definitely the intro yeah
00:03:25
all right I'm going to sit on the edge while my little nudie booty is down there
00:03:32
hey welcome to Cancun I'm your one of your hosts Bobby Lee and we've got Andrew Santino and and this has been a
00:03:40
disaster okay welcome welcome back to bad friends uh Bob's in the tub and he's butt naked it's been a disaster and it's
00:03:46
been no it's been kind of fun well aside from the fact that I experienced the
00:03:52
worst show I've ever done in my life we did the worst show we've ever done in our entire life you know that was the worst show I've ever done Jim Jeff at
00:03:58
one point Jim Jeff turned to me and was like I can't hear a [ __ ] thing you saying he couldn't hear anything we were
00:04:03
saying no he looks at me one point his face is sweating yeah dripping sweat and he goes can we go wait what is that can
00:04:11
we go let me hear can we go can we go yeah and I go he's a cheeky little British boy can we go and I
00:04:17
go let me get in the tub with you get in here man this is going to be so bad for my
00:04:23
back scoot back please go back over on that God I've never seen so much of you lean it back against there there it is
00:04:31
put your put your penis put your penis above your above your thighs though so it's poking up why cuz I want to see it
00:04:39
can you see it on the camera I'm trying not to let me see oh cute right yeah
00:04:45
pretty cute it's so funny to see your little shell just popping up yeah it's like a um when did it stop growing do
00:04:51
you think seven bro bro it's always been
00:04:57
growing all right you should see dude I can't stop you have seen it 20 years ago I can't stop looking at it you know what
00:05:02
it is it looked like a skin tag you know when you're on the beach you know on the beach and you see like um an animal
00:05:07
emerging from the sand after the water washes over it that's what that looks like it pops up a little bit and then it goes right back down goes right away no
00:05:13
I feel like it deserves a shell it needs a shell yeah yeah yeah that it needs a little thing where protective layer and
00:05:18
it when it pops up just a little head it's a little eye pokes through yeah like that right and and it goes back
00:05:24
down is is he going suck me suck me or is he going suck me feed me oh feed me
00:05:32
that's hot right but I don't think it absorbs no you can't it doesn't actually eat oh can I have a theory have I talked
00:05:38
about this before I might have already but I have a theory that men queef as
00:05:43
well you've had air come out of your pants well one night I was in the
00:05:49
bathtub and I hear a that sound and I realized that was a
00:05:56
little bit of an air coming out of my pee hole hole H so in theoretically it's
00:06:03
a queef but it's coming out of a penis and just because it doesn't make a lot of sound like a woman's queef does
00:06:09
women's are full on give me an example of a woman's queef is like yeah and mine's more like yeah but
00:06:17
have it afterward so we call it a PFF a PFF you want to call a PFF PFF I just I
00:06:23
think I've come up with a new term I've never done that have you ever ped fany you don't know you're doing it because
00:06:28
it's so small I don't think I have yeah you don't think you have you've never ped I yeah I don't think I P I don't
00:06:34
think you're I don't know if that's real but I think it could just be your biology maybe it's a theoretical idea that probably isn't true but you know
00:06:40
let me let's talk about Endor okay so here's what happened first of all can you get a shout out there George look
00:06:45
what they put they put us so many other people Nikki Glazer got a sh got a um an ocean front view we have the jungle and
00:06:51
zoom down if you can see down there people are cutting as we're podcasting they're uh well you can't they're
00:06:57
cutting it's Mexican people doing what they do they're just cutting away they just love it as soon as they find what
00:07:02
are you looking at what as soon as they find a knife or scissors they're like I got to go to cut
00:07:08
a something and they just got to go cut stuff Bobby said that that was a reward I said is that a punishment and Bobby
00:07:13
said no that's a reward for them well I don't know if you know this but if you want to capture a Mexican all you have to do is put no if you just hear me just
00:07:21
all you have to do is build it like a little cage yeah right well right and then you have a little trapo thing right
00:07:27
I get that right and inside just put a couple of scissors like one those long Che Shear what they call them W whackers
00:07:34
yeah weed whackers yeah and all of a sudden you hear tongue the gate will close and you have four of
00:07:40
them you'll have you'll get four of them yeah yeah what are we doing here yeah what are we doing here and they get
00:07:46
scared and all you have to do is give them a chimy chonga that's it yeah it relaxes them oh they calm down yeah they
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love fried beef they love it it relaxes them and what you do is comprende compr
00:08:00
which means do you understand right correct and they go we in their own way I don't know Spanish but in their own
00:08:06
way they're going we've we know that we've run into a Korean demon oh yeah
00:08:12
when they know right away they and let me tell you something
00:08:17
racist what I just said it is but please don't steal a Please Don't Steal a Mex it feels racist well remind the fans Not
00:08:22
to steal a Mexican please don't don't steal the Mexicans no Ste it's just something to do that's like a sign they
00:08:28
would have at the border please don't steal the Mexicans yeah yeah yeah but if you notice out here this is where they
00:08:33
shot Endor I that really is where they shot
00:08:39
wait really yeah no yeah they shot Endor SC Not in Cancun but in this area area I
00:08:45
just speak just made that oh I know you did speaking of Cancun last night uh we were happy to know that we did a couple
00:08:50
of shows um we can cut to the tape right now of us bombing with Jim Jeff uh you'll see some of this right now here
00:08:56
you go you I masturbate thank you and I get really lonely you
00:09:02
know so when I masturbate I grab my own
00:09:08
ass is that that was it yeah I should write more I should write more look that joke
00:09:15
crushed yeah what a that was a killer I have another one give me
00:09:21
another shot please try one more time I have another shot I have another all right so my mom was a jeo
00:09:27
witness you guys know that know that my mom was a Jehovah Witness say to me my mom was a Jehovah Witness your mom was a
00:09:33
Jehovah's Witness yeah you guys know that right his mother is a Jehovah's Witness is that's what's happening can I
00:09:38
translate the jokes for the Australian people [Laughter] or let me finish the [ __ ] joke okay
00:09:46
so that my mom used to knock on my bedroom door and I go what do you want mom she'd go just
00:09:54
practicing crushed crushed
00:09:59
pretty good joke clean too when was the last time you did that joke 20 years ago
00:10:06
20 years it was about five seconds ago just you do a joke that you used to do
00:10:12
20 years ago yeah [Applause]
00:10:20
yeah um every time I'll sit
00:10:26
down you don't boss me around I flew here for you
00:10:32
okay uh okay I'll [Applause]
00:10:41
uh two Jews
00:10:47
uh it's okay um uh 20 years ago joke of my one of my
00:10:53
first jokes was uh um oh I saw a sign I saw a sign a girl
00:10:59
holding a sign that said start over start over is that it start over it wasn't clear start over and more energy
00:11:06
because you're doing a joke this is a show so a little energy all right everybody Andrew stio
00:11:13
wo make a good um I saw a girl holding a sign and
00:11:22
it said Make Love Not War which is weird because every time I make love it's just
00:11:28
like War there's a lot of Destruction a lot of death and money is usually
00:11:36
owed it's a prostitute an old prostitute joke pretty good it's one of my first jokes pretty good joke Jim you Jim can
00:11:43
you do a bad joke you did from back in the day doesn't want to do it he doesn't have any bad jok can't think no I have bad I can't remember any stuff from 20
00:11:50
years ago that was like one of the first shitty jokes that I wrote and I remember it actually did good enough in open mics
00:11:55
where I was like all right I I I I can remember one bit I used to do from my first ever set but it's not hold on hold
00:12:02
on it's it's not good it was from let's hear it let's hear it let's hear it it was from my first set so it's not yeah
00:12:10
come on come on baby come on baby I don't remember how I
00:12:16
goes so I used to be I used to be obsessed with doing like religious jokes I probably watched too much Bill Hicks
00:12:21
or some [ __ ] like that so I this this is what I had was uh I was like uh Jesus
00:12:28
right he didn't know he was Jesus until he was
00:12:34
30 he died at 33 for the first 30 years he did [ __ ] nothing and then when he
00:12:40
turned 30 he started doing Miracles and [ __ ] for the last three years and then he died surely his mother would have
00:12:46
said something she would have gone I was artificially inseminated by an Angel you
00:12:52
should check on that maybe that was but he worked as a carpenter up until then
00:12:58
maybe it was n't his fault maybe his dad sat him down and said look it's good that you got and all that but maybe you
00:13:05
should get yourself a trade first something to fall back on and I go now there's an ending hold
00:13:14
on I go it would have been weird every time he was talking to like a thousand people there always would have been one
00:13:20
[ __ ] up the back going isn't that the bloke That Built My
00:13:25
gazebo yeah baby very good that a good joke that was me
00:13:33
for me Andreas your turn Andreas Andreas everybody andr
00:13:40
everybody get over here ladies and gentlemen he's been
00:13:48
practicing for six months I can't he's got great jokes
00:13:53
man one more time I I don't know his last name Andreas everybody
00:14:02
no just keep come on fans come on
00:14:08
fans they enjoy torturing me hey also little little little standup comedy tip
00:14:16
untuck your trouser from your sock that throws the audience
00:14:22
up yeah or or make a match that's a much better like you meant to do
00:14:28
it [Applause]
00:14:38
do the joke it's coming do the joke fans okay here we go all right a really piey
00:14:44
uh joke what do you call a [ __ ] a fat
00:14:51
[ __ ] a fat [ __ ] what do you call a fat [ __ ] did he say fat chick what do you
00:14:57
call a fat chick is that what you say what do you call a fat chick I feel the name fat chick is already me you call a
00:15:03
fat chick chunk chunk what
00:15:09
chunk chunk Andreas give him a round of
00:15:16
applause also um uh last night in Cancun uh PE uh
00:15:21
cartel storm day Resort and shot two people and killed him do you know this
00:15:27
that's heay no no no that's that's rightwing rightwing media dude it's here
00:15:33
oh is that fake news I don't know I let me ask you something right now with your little orange eyes yeah right do you see
00:15:39
any other hotels around here no well then you put two and two together it's
00:15:45
didn't happen fake news yeah would have happened in that little house over there yeah that little tiny Hut down there my point is is this did it really happen
00:15:50
yeah two people got killed but you know it's 30 minutes north what I loved about what happened last night is you had to
00:15:56
tell the organizer mhm last night in the right the guy that work the information you go yeah did you
00:16:03
know that in the result afterwards there's a [ __ ] standown there's [ __ ] fighting people dang and he was like and he was like freaking out he was
00:16:10
like oh really yeah and he could tell in his mind like what do I do cuz I even said to him I was like I'm going to get on a flight and go home and he was like
00:16:16
yeah why did you say that cuz I get uppity and puppet when I get you were really I've never seen you so sad yeah
00:16:23
because we ate [ __ ] we ate [ __ ] I never bombed with you before like that in my
00:16:29
mind we know because it was just we couldn't do anything we couldn't hear each other the crowd was like it was
00:16:35
there was 600 people something like that and it was the ceilings were 30 feet high oh I you couldn't hear anything
00:16:42
honestly 5 minutes in yeah I had that feeling of like oh this is going to be
00:16:48
the worst human experience of my life we panicked that was terrible he may never
00:16:53
talk to us again he won't he actually told me he's like lose my my I feel that that it felt like we're never going to
00:16:59
see him again yeah but it's okay it's fine yeah although he I brought up the Brad Pit thing do you hear me say that
00:17:07
yeah what do you mean oh yeah yeah yeah yeah so one time I was with Jim in Canada and Brad Pit kept texting him and
00:17:15
I just thought that was really cool that he knew him it is cool don't you think that's cool it is what's the biggest one
00:17:20
you know the biggest celebrity I know yeah [Music]
00:17:25
um maybe fancy yeah fancy might be the by the way you know how can I rub my can
00:17:31
I rub my dick against your leg do you know how famous this guy is in Mexico fancy everyone is stopping
00:17:39
him oh my god it feels so gross it's so gross your wiener on my
00:17:46
ankle what's falling off is that dirt falling off it's dust not dirt does this help but dude this is
00:17:54
like if my leg gets infected with something I'm going to be so upset yeah yeah this feels like a
00:18:00
yeah this yeah this reminds me I'm making love to T Tanya Le hard what T Le Hardy you mean you
00:18:09
mean hard Lee Davis this is so uncomfortable keep
00:18:14
going by the way look at look can you put hey put my big toe up near your your penis and see which one's bigger oh my
00:18:20
God my big toe is bigger my big toe is bigger yes it is it's not bigger dude that's ridiculous sit back a little bit
00:18:26
you I your body is beautiful it's like a little round damn I love the compliments
00:18:31
it's like a a little yellow egg yeah it's like a when you get you know it's when you get to my age and you look in
00:18:37
the mirror yeah you just don't care anymore why don't you care anymore you're 50 and you're like it what it's
00:18:45
like let's suppose I'm single again mhm right I feel like I still be able to
00:18:51
maybe swing some no honestly you don't think maybe no no no you think that if I was single
00:18:57
I wouldn't be able to get a girl I think they okay no but you you honestly think that I would not what scale of what
00:19:04
scale are you looking at like what number on the number scale of 0 to 10 for real what kind of what kind of woman do you think you could get at this point
00:19:09
in your life in your career well I'm not leaving Kila so let's just throw that you just did a hypothetical if you were single but hypothetically right what
00:19:16
kind of girl I think that I could probably do what I mean number-wise yes don't say I kind of want to do it
00:19:23
just to prove you wrong but uh I think I can do a nine no
00:19:28
way hey no nothing over eight what it's Kila 8 then no we're talking about the future K now well that's you to judge
00:19:36
not me what did you judge a 10 a 10 pandering he's pandering he's pandering
00:19:41
what about you George a 10 six and a half five and a half six and a half I am more
00:19:47
toward no she's to me no she's the best but say n or a 10 in the future I'm
00:19:52
we're talking about in the future if you're trying to get something new you're getting nothing above an eight no chance and all this is doing is having
00:19:59
someone that we know the fans are going to go I'm a nine and I would date Bobby that's what's going to happen now yeah I
00:20:05
mean with the depreciation of the coin here in Mexico maybe he can get a 10 this is the problem once you bring
00:20:12
him down here he starts soaking up some of his old ways yeah I I don't that's that's old ones who bring me down here
00:20:18
are going to a fancy business your old Proverbs come out I don't like it oh my
00:20:23
God we did this last time we went to dinner the first night me George and fance went to dinner and fancy was wasting we've got some video of him
00:20:29
dancing you guys can [Music] see
00:20:37
yeah this is the thing that we learned the Mexicans hate fancy because he speaks with like Upp British accents
00:20:42
that's what I could tell and then honestly the the waiter come over and every time he came over fancy goes M and the guy would bend down and he
00:20:49
would roll his eyes and fancy didn't notice because he was shitfaced but fancy speaks with like a proper British
00:20:54
accent right down here it's like Cockney like oh you want another yeah want another cup cup of soup but and Fancy's
00:21:01
like yes I'd like another cup of soup please that's he's so he's way too up they did not the Mexicans hated it but I
00:21:08
do love being cuz we went to the Mexican restaurant last night and knowing that you know the language doesn't it feel
00:21:15
better well it makes me feel a little bit safer but then I know they also don't like him you tell they don't but at least we have communication something
00:21:22
we have something there yeah do you feel them judging you a little bit fance a little bit a little bit yeah how can you tell like did they smirk you a little
00:21:28
bit when you yeah they roll their eyes they so imagine dude back in the day dudes that look like him they get off a
00:21:35
boat here in Mexico in Mexico right they have swords probably you guys have swords back then swords and Crosses
00:21:41
swords and Crosses right came on the beach right with your glowy white skin
00:21:46
mhm and you saw a brown person and what you went haywire onuh get him get him
00:21:53
they're they're terrible people to Spanish really and then you guys shared your language with them is that what
00:21:59
that happened force them to speak it force them to speak your language with your God we call them G ging culture giv
00:22:06
culture that's what they call yeah he would bigot and look at the woods out here how much atrocity has happened his
00:22:12
people baby just tied to a tree why would you tie the babies to the tree as
00:22:17
like a well it was like a landmark cuz that's how they know to get back to where they're going oh really that's like hand they ask the babies or they de
00:22:23
well you they ask him and say do you mind us making you a landmark well no you have the baby tied to a tree they're
00:22:29
a landmark do you go Hey where's West over there sir I mean do they
00:22:35
talk how about it this way yeah anyway what why did you do those to the people back then I think it was just a way to
00:22:42
connect with that was yeah I mean now we have social media
00:22:48
now which is cool but back then dude they had their own way to connect that was social media yeah yeah yeah they're
00:22:53
poking is with a sword so it was like so I'm so so so pillaging and raping and
00:23:00
murdering that was your that was like a post for you guys that's like an Instagram post how many likes did that
00:23:06
get the whole village was like that's good that's good that's good and then they celebrated these people were I mean
00:23:12
I I say Mexico over Spain 100% Mexico is great I love Mexico man it's it's beautiful butcher box you know what
00:23:20
Andrew yeah here's what I love in life meat not only meat Quality Meat quality
00:23:26
high high quity y the animal need to be cute you need to be cute in quality yeah
00:23:33
yeah when you hey when you get high quality meat from butcher box it is delicious we get it all the time it's the best I do my whole entire freezer is
00:23:39
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00:23:47
sourcing decisions are made holistically that's right they keep I love that word holistically do you know what it means
00:23:53
no but they keep the farmer the planet the animal and your family in mind always delivering products you can trust
00:24:00
what's your favorite kind of meat I like pork chops me too yeah I like a good
00:24:05
little oinker on my plate I love pork chops and I got to tell you something butcher bucks has pork chops and they are El delicioso yeah and uh also uh
00:24:14
every time I get uh butcher box it's not just like you get one little tiny thing you get a ton you get eight 8 to 14
00:24:21
pounds of meat and I'm going to tell you there's no antibiotics and they and or added
00:24:27
hormones it's the best quality basically what we're saying customize your own box if you want either way uh you can go
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00:27:03
voice little boy Korean boy what would be your life song If someone had if
00:27:10
imagine if Frank sinatro or someone like that was still alive and they sung a song about you yeah how would it go like
00:27:15
when he dedicated songs to like cities or people or women hello San
00:27:21
Diego little Korean boy is born beat
00:27:26
beat beat him down with the golf club beat them down
00:27:33
mation in your future is it slick is it slippery stuff right yeah yeah yeah yeah
00:27:40
yeah and then here comes the drugs the drugs are on your
00:27:46
highway right molest drugs drugs Korean boy you got a
00:27:53
sad future different genre what you're doing I think oh sorry yeah San Diego
00:27:59
yeah but what is that that's doesn't he talk about doesn't he talk about cities yeah but sinatro
00:28:06
be he doesn't talk about cities yeah he does yeah well let's go back San Diego
00:28:14
USA right but do it in Frank I know how start you start you start his his his
00:28:20
rhythm was like uh his rhythm was like remember the song One Singular Sensation you know one one sing
00:28:28
every little step you take do that San Diego California no he would have
00:28:35
gone Frank would have gone San Diego what a town yeah little Korean boy
00:28:42
beating around he's getting abused and molested thrown out of
00:28:48
Windows he contested he takes it in his tou hey yeah he's a dirty little guy
00:28:56
gush a wait wait wait did you just say a new
00:29:01
RAC racist term did I just make up a term Gushi gush GUI gush is a new racist term is
00:29:07
he I want to say this too when it comes to racial terms yeah it literally goes
00:29:13
[ __ ] uhhuh guci go guci go GUI go to me guy
00:29:19
go hurts more than go hurts yeah hurts more than any hurts more than any of
00:29:26
them ever call me that your album guy go yeah yeah 100% guy goou he's a little
00:29:33
[ __ ] goou he's a sneaky sneaky is always good he's a little sneaky go a go he's a
00:29:41
sneaky go go is nice it's g o o h go sneaky goou yeah name your next special
00:29:48
sneaky goou I will he's a little sneaky goou yeah what about you what if uh s
00:29:53
Frank sinatro sing a song about you Chicago Chicago he's a redhead from
00:29:59
divorce and drugs and alcohol and then he was sad abused as a boy beat up in
00:30:05
bullied big old ears pale and thin as rail he's got pimples all over his face
00:30:13
pimple all over his butt can you teach me how to teach me how to rap you want me to teach you how to rap I've never
00:30:18
learned how to rap I really haven't all right so so they so I I I think I wrote One my name is Bobby Lee I'm the king of
00:30:25
society I rap I sing I do it in variety wrot that's so bad I wrote that
00:30:32
when I was a kid but that's like the ' 80s R yeah yeah yeah my name is Bobby Lee king of society I rap I sing I do it
00:30:39
in variety oh oh and then they raise the roof right well they don't do that anymore back in the day though back in
00:30:46
the day they sometimes did yeah yeah yeah but don't you understand that that the rap you're doing is like this that was like cool in the gang when it was
00:30:52
like I don't know new that's the thing it's like I I love music mhm you don't
00:30:58
but you don't love rap just hear me out it's because of the black people you don't like the black people and that's what it is name a black artist that you
00:31:04
like right now go fast Smalls Smalls yeah Bigg Smalls who is that Biggy
00:31:09
Smalls he's dead give someone that's current I could I said shupac shupac
00:31:15
shac that's in Korean shupac shupac is here
00:31:20
shupac you like briy briy shoy and Sho batt no
00:31:27
because back in the day like you when my brother was into hip-hop I would like he he still is he loves you know when Jurassic 5 came out
00:31:35
I want that album you know what I mean I mean there are certain album but I it's been so long since somebody said you
00:31:41
should check out this new hip-hop album I kind of lost my way I want to like I I was into like tribe call Quest back in
00:31:49
the day I loved you know deas soul back those type of that that but rap but it I
00:31:54
just got lost in my way it has nothing to do with anything culturally or anything like that yeah it's just you I want to learn no that's not you but you
00:32:01
just no one's suggesting I'll suggest a bunch of albums for you to listen to I'll send you a bunch of stuff on Spotify can I be honest with you too you don't like it no can I be completely in
00:32:08
ut you you don't want me to give you knowledge about something no that's not what it is and it's so funny that you
00:32:13
say that because K that says that all the time it drives me crazy what is it then is I don't trust your
00:32:18
taste I really don't I honestly don't trust have such when it comes to movies and when it
00:32:26
comes to anything Arts I don't listen to you you have bad art taste I'm not dude I'm not saying that
00:32:33
to start a fight with you I'm I'm trying to be [ __ ] honest with you and being [ __ ] I'm being honest with you yeah
00:32:38
yeah I don't trust your tastes I don't trust your tastes and that's fine and we could still do our podcast you just
00:32:44
don't know anything about hip-hop and so you're embarrassed if I teach you something it's it's embarrassing to you if I teach you about the culture you
00:32:50
know nothing about the culture this is how I work you barely work or you want to go there
00:32:58
yeah I don't all right I definitely don't but
00:33:03
no you're working too much Bobby's going back to Hawaii do Magnum PI then he's going back to New York to do Sex in the City then he's going back can I tell you
00:33:10
how I work please can I tell you how I work please sorry for yelling that's fine Kile will be like you should like
00:33:18
two years ago you should watch this movie I'm sure it's good oh yeah right
00:33:23
once they say that it takes me a year to get around understand that right if I
00:33:29
can discover something on my own I'm generally more you know on it you know
00:33:34
but my teeth hurt so bad right now wait why because I went to the dentist a month ago and this side of the my mouth
00:33:41
two teeth were in really pain let me see open your mouth real fast no no not right now let me finish what I'm going
00:33:46
to say let me see let me say let me finish what let me finish what I'm going to say okay this side of the mouth now
00:33:55
is being to really hurt my bottom tooth it's so sore I I I have to drink eat
00:34:00
ibuprofen every hour you know that's not good for you for your
00:34:11
liver why do we we stayed in the pocket for too long I think no it was good enough make a decision it enough's again
00:34:17
no now going kiss me you're going to kiss me we got to go back no we're not we got to go back in the pocket I had to make a different
00:34:24
decision you should have done it all right [ __ ] I missed my but wait Bob you know you do know that your heart your heart is your teeth you know you can
00:34:31
have a heart attack from having bad teeth do you know that that's a real thing have you guys never heard of this if you're if you have like infections in your mouth it can cause heart disease
00:34:39
I'm being 100% am I lying or am I am I telling the truth and then what what's the point what can I do here in Mexico right hold the mic fans yeah what can I
00:34:45
do in Mexico right now what do you mean yeah am I going to have a heart attack there's nothing I can do I mean when I get back into La let me feel your pulse
00:34:51
don't don't touch my [ __ ] body dude I'm going to feel your pulse all right feels good huh I'm I'm you know
00:34:57
how I'm here ready count George do a timer on this P so I can we can see how high his blood pressure is ready hold on
00:35:02
up here it's up here all right you grab my dick well stop ready you ready tell me
00:35:08
start grab your dick no stop it I can't do your pulse if you're grabbing my penis Bob would you do this in the
00:35:15
emergency room if they're like sir you're a doctor maybe I am all right I'm training to be a doctor I'm not going to
00:35:20
squeeze your dick hard yes you are I know what you're going to do you're going to pinch it I need your pulse I need your pulse you're going to pinch it
00:35:25
as hard as you can I'm not stupid how about this you punch me in the face if I punch it too hard if I squeeze too hard no it's a really good test for I don't
00:35:32
buy it well you're going to have to because I've been down this road with you before I know but it always goes the way that I know it's going to go can I
00:35:37
have another shot no I beg of you can I have another shot no no no thank you as a friend no thank you well you're not
00:35:43
touching my [ __ ] thrat throat fine all right even stepen you just ruin the bit because you want to squeeze my [ __ ] penis no the bit is funny if I
00:35:49
stick my two fingers on your penis while you do it that's the bit what you're ignoring they can't even see that and it doesn't do anything it makes it funny
00:35:55
for you you're going to end up my penis or flicking my penis let's vote let's vote yeah it's it is a democracy is it
00:36:02
not no it's not yes it is no we're in Mex right right me pulsing Andrew's dick
00:36:10
raise your hand pulsing Andrew's dick raise your hand thank you so much all right three against one let's go are you
00:36:16
ready what I'm going to give you an example I promise I I prom I prom I'm be
00:36:21
so mad all right I promise ready you get my you get my you get my ball do not tell me what territory I can
00:36:28
I want to conquer the territory I want toquer no I don't no no I don't let you conquer my ter I'm I'm going to fight dude if I'm mellin I see an island right
00:36:35
you can't be telling me what island to [ __ ] side of the island can you imagine you want a boat finding new land out I'm
00:36:41
not going to let you punch me in the penis I'm not going to I swear to God I won't just gentle watch how gentle going
00:36:46
see it's nice yeah all right George
00:36:51
ready stop stop stop laughing cuz we have to take your pulse stop calm I know stop hold on hold on hold on
00:36:58
and ready George and stop I'm gonna get hard don't do that okay you want to start yeah start start on one start on
00:37:03
one two three one two three four five stop rubbing my penis
00:37:11
stop yeah yeah did you okay multiply that multiply it it was five seconds so five beats so a beat a second yeah yeah
00:37:18
60 beats a second that's really good that's really good pressure that's like some of the best blood pressure I've
00:37:23
ever heard I know and I I was going to tell you that God that's really good didn't test it no we just tested it I'll
00:37:31
what is that you know what what is that that's no matter who's touching your penis man woman it doesn't matter it's
00:37:36
going to get hard if you rub the head it's going to get hard if you rub the head I'm saying I don't think that's true I'm not attracted to you at all you
00:37:42
start rubbing the head it's going to get hard let's can we do it a little science experiment let's do a little science
00:37:48
exper we have to do it on fancy all right on George rub George's penis and let him do it and see if he gets yeah George stand right here George get over
00:37:55
here stand get over here George stand right here let's see if we can get in your heart I'm but it's got and you have to rub the head of his spe like you did
00:38:01
mine oh I'm going to do it I'm going to be Pro you be Pro yeah I'm going to be the way of whatever this is hold on one
00:38:06
second hold on hold on let fancy go see if he can see it he's getting ready he's getting stacked up George is getting so stacked up all we're ready to go yeah
00:38:12
ready okay we're ready to go for some reason I have to Loop my fingers 100% yeah yes he does yes he does yes he does
00:38:17
for some reason I have George how else could it be how else could it be yeah there it
00:38:23
is all right right hold on here we go where is it right here yeah you feel it yeah this is so gay yeah this feels gay
00:38:29
so what but it feels it he spitting on my bad my bad let me see all right no
00:38:35
but do it soft do it soft I am do it soft hands in the air don't put your hands in your 60 close your eyes no no
00:38:40
no let him do that I like that let him do that that's funny to me when you close your eyes it makes it in let him close his eyes yeah yeah no because he
00:38:46
doesn't know don't visualize anyone else he doesn't know who's doing it don't visualize anyone else all right all right I'm going to start the timer look
00:38:52
it's getting bigger I'm going to start the timer can I notice do you notice Le oh my God you're leaking it's leaking
00:38:58
all right here we go I'm going start the time 60 seconds ready and go 59 58 how's
00:39:03
it going s oh my God moving six it's moving yes it is yes it is it's moving
00:39:09
oh my God it's moving oh my God George George it's
00:39:15
thicker now than it was when you over 100% 100% oh my God oh my God oh my God is this oh yeah yeah yeah look at it
00:39:22
look look at look look at look at it dude look at it at look at Get It Go
00:39:28
baby all right get out of here has you lost let me tell you something I physically watched it move look at this
00:39:34
it went like this the head literally went like this yeah yeah you know what reminded me it was escaping it reminding
00:39:40
me that you and I are astronauts where we find a new mclass planet right and we're going should we get [ __ ] the go
00:39:46
ahead from NASA you're like let's just go down let's just go we go down we land smoothly right we see an animal that's
00:39:52
what it looked like something a brand new kind of species yeah and we touch it
00:39:58
and it goes like this yeah yeah wow that was CRA can you
00:40:04
hey can you imagine if we go to a planet like that and there's little penises all over the place yeah and we run out of
00:40:10
food we run out of food here we go again what does everything have to do every
00:40:16
time you and I are together homorotic it goes into some weird homorotic place
00:40:21
that I don't want to venture to okay I have Christian I I'm not a Christian you're not but I have beliefs so okay
00:40:27
what are your Bel Christian belief and what are they are you repressing something Hollow ghost what's it called Hol ghost the hollow
00:40:34
ghost did I say Hollow ghost all praise the Hol ghost the hollow ghost right
00:40:40
yeah the Trinity is what I'm talking about the Trinity is what give it to me it's Jesus Christ God man no what father
00:40:46
son and the the holy ghost hly ghost the Hol ghost the hollow ghost yeah yeah and so I believe in all those things did you
00:40:52
guys have crosses in your house did your mom put up crosses we didn't have a single no you did in your hallway or
00:40:58
something but my brother you know cuz you know my brother was um a born again Christian in his in high
00:41:05
school no yeah and he would cut out you know this he would cut out of Bible verses and tape them to the wall yuck
00:41:12
and it got to the point where his bedroom was from top to bottom Bible
00:41:18
verse W you mean like the guy from seven seven seven seven does he not have that
00:41:24
anything like that anymore in him as soon as he lost State all God went away
00:41:29
I couldn't agree more if you lose State you're like I don't believe in God yeah yeah yeah God went away were you religious fans when you were a kid no
00:41:36
never never even with all that Spanish cathol I went to Catholic school but I was the only one who didn't so in
00:41:42
Catholic School in Spain did they do the same thing to the boys that they do here in the United States is it different in Catholic School no same thing same
00:41:48
rituals same rituals yeah what about you George uh grew up religious super religious yeah you know that right I
00:41:56
know I do I know I know I know but Seventh Adventist were you ever were you ever touched by a priest yeah no were
00:42:02
you ever touched by a priest look at him dude no no look at George again right oh my God you can see it now I saw no he's
00:42:10
unfuckable you think the priests were like next so look at him again right and with a straight face ask him with a
00:42:17
straight face ask him and then George comes in the room the priest
00:42:22
says and George comes in he's like you wanted to see me he's like h get out
00:42:28
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00:45:46
farting I'm not farting right now no about maybe the the fungal the fungal
00:45:51
system in the forest what do you know what kind of clouds those are those are his hibiscus hibiscus clouds No caused
00:45:58
by raindrops nope please don't ask me stuff like that right now how do you not know what those are what are they
00:46:03
cumulus they're accumulative they're all accumulative yeah yeah those are really good stuff anyway let's talk about let's
00:46:10
not talk about that then I don't know much about it well don't cut us off at the past when we were really rolling over
00:46:16
there what do you mean just cuz we were talking about weird uncomfortable stuff doesn't mean we can't talk about weird uncomfortable stuff I'd rather talk
00:46:22
about penises actually you're right that's my number one go-to yeah yeah yeah yeah why is that though um we're F
00:46:29
my trouble pants is it my trouble past do you think that's why you always pull it out yeah I you know I've been
00:46:35
thinking about lately why cuz last night I got naked on stage yeah so in my head I'm like what do I do to save this the
00:46:42
show yeah when the show was going really when things are going nudity is always my
00:46:48
like Escape pod well okay here's the deal yeah here's what you did I made the
00:46:53
joke because we were called back to you taking off your shirt and giving your shirt away so you gave your shirt way to a girl who aggressively came up and okay
00:46:58
can I say this though stole it can I say this yeah that's the second shirt you've given away of mine stop it's because the
00:47:07
shirts I'm wearing are like you know what I mean expensive expensive right so when you give it away to an audience member I feel guilty yeah you and so I
00:47:14
just gave away my favorite Bowie shirt what did she give you in return nothing a tiger belly shirt no but yeah but that
00:47:20
was from his boy her boyfriend one and the same they came together with a mission in mind they literally I make the tiger belly shirts well then now you
00:47:26
got one oh I made it back you made it back I made my money back you made your money back yeah but I lost the fancy
00:47:32
anyway let's talk about full circle it's a full circle so you gave away your shirt which I'll never stop doing at live shows in fact be prepared when we
00:47:37
do bad friends live on the road next fall you were going to give away a shirt in every city terrible shirt every C no you better wear cool shirts no you have
00:47:44
to that's part of the game so I wear the coolest shirt that I have give away in every city oh [ __ ] it's so fun I don't
00:47:51
like it no I love it because it gives the fans something to take why why is the food so bad here the food is pretty bad the food food is pretty bad I mean
00:47:58
it's like there were eggs in green salsa this morning yeah and I'm I swear to God
00:48:03
it was Ninja Turtle color I was like that's ooze that's ooze Ninja Turtle ooze did I eat it yeah yeah you know
00:48:10
what they put in my hamburger huh you know how you go to Mexican restaurants in La and they have those carrots oh
00:48:16
yeah yeah they're pickled which are Delicious By the way in terms of Mexican right things that they've invented not
00:48:22
on a hamburger not on a hamburger not a hamburger but let say in terms of the things let's celebrate Mexico let's talk
00:48:30
about the things that they have given us yeah this planet and this is a great
00:48:36
Sacrament okay let's give it up Mexico El Mariachi Mariachi right what a great
00:48:42
instrument what great outfits tacos tacos is a huge one my bad I love that
00:48:47
could be number one dude that might be number one yeah yeah well burritos and tacos are hand in hand yeah yeah that's
00:48:52
a great noise in terms of noises is one of the best like arbitrary
00:48:58
random things that you could say in a celebratory environment you know what my best noise is that they gave us what
00:49:06
that's such a good right right it's a car starting and this is just the the
00:49:12
Basse beat of right such a great Foundation cuz you
00:49:19
could put horns on top you can put horns like right and then do one of your
00:49:25
noises it's right number one hit laba man will you shake it for a
00:49:31
second while I do that just Dan I had a dream too Richie you remember that in laboma that poor [ __ ] Cartoonist the
00:49:38
brother anyway my point is is that let's talk about Mexico more wait hold on I want to do this let's guess words that M
00:49:45
Andreas tell us a word uh and we'll try to guess what it is in Spanish or vice versa give us a Spanish word we'll try
00:49:50
to guess what that means in I'll start I'll give you let him do ITA I know what is playground
00:49:57
close Playa I I know it it's like a court like like like a little an area of
00:50:03
land it's very close to it what jungle Plateau with the water Forest Beach yeah
00:50:12
pla Beach yes [ __ ] we should definitely know that one where this place is called pla something yes um I didn't know that I didn't know
00:50:19
that either okay I need to see one let's go to the paa what what say it again hung hung that's that's jungle that that
00:50:26
was too CL give us something way out of the in George if you have one whisper it to him wait wait can I just ask another
00:50:32
question so hunga is spelled jungle like jungle right this is how what I want to
00:50:39
know about language okay no let me ask you about language I know watch yeah all right watch us do an ad read for Babble
00:50:45
right now right so in obviously English it's jungle right yeah so at some point
00:50:50
did the languages mix and they took jungle and they just said let's just not create a word for Jungle let's just say
00:50:57
it differently we even history you know Latin right you know things are D derived from Latin well that's the Chain of Thought I
00:51:04
don't know you already know you know the answer that's true give me another word give him
00:51:09
another word all right here's one that always messed me up in Argentina okay uh L rolling say it again L rolling
00:51:17
you word can you spell the word can you spell the word please l o
00:51:23
s r o l l i n g yes it's it spells Los rolling uh
00:51:29
usually in the uh is that what you do when you're down there rolling rolling I am rolling rolling you like L rolling I
00:51:35
am Los rolling on MDMA what is L what is L rolling you think Los rolling come on
00:51:42
Bob I don't know but I know I when I hear it it makes sense to me I want to create a word right now though is it a
00:51:48
product can I tell can I create a word right now is it an action or a verb the Rolling Stones what same thing the
00:51:54
Rolling Stones the most confusing things are like when they're saying things in English yeah like do you like Los be
00:52:02
beas the Beatles yeah that beetles rolling that's the Rolling Stones it's just the Rollings REM RM is REM so
00:52:10
stupid that's so funny I created a word yes what is the word so a long time ago um the word is
00:52:17
alono say it again alono spell the word it's like a l o n o it's what you are
00:52:25
all the time no no alono so when my father used to take me to in high school
00:52:31
or in middle school he used to take me to Korea Town in LA and we go to Spas
00:52:37
yeah and in Korean Spas there's a lot of old Korean men there and they they get naked
00:52:45
yeah and they do stretches yeah and one day my dad was stretching and I saw an
00:52:50
area of his body that I wasn't meant to see his butthole no
00:52:56
close though his his like the under like between his butthole and his out his taint and what do they call that the
00:53:02
taint is what taint or nifkin or gu orle on my dad's taint though was one I'm not
00:53:07
laying oh my God skin tag one and I used to call it
00:53:15
alono as a kid I used to call it alono alono and did he know that and he alono
00:53:21
would say stuff to me in my mind in the middle of the night no just if I saw him at the spa I could hear him go help or
00:53:30
right I scared I scared yeah I always want to go well why don't you just move
00:53:36
up to the neck with the other skin tag get up there you know what I mean why go down there in the darkest s place that's
00:53:43
where they start and if they have if they have passion Drive yeah he's a lazy he didn't crawl up the lazy alono lazy
00:53:50
Al what's what's the word lazy in in Spanish bago bago Pago b alono b b Al so
00:53:57
a little skin tag alono why do you have skin tags from your like your dad
00:54:02
there's one on your neck right thank you no no no I have them I have them under my armpit you're welcome are you going to get them under your fa on your face
00:54:08
did your dad have them on his face yeah he cuz some Koreans have them on their face I almost asked the um when they
00:54:14
were cremating my dad like that one is to keep alono would that been can you
00:54:19
suggest that like at at 100% when they're doing the body and go hey how do you say it like K like you're the what a
00:54:26
Cre what do you call him I'm I'm I'm I'm a I'm a mortician yeah yeah okay go ahead y my dad I know I know God bless
00:54:33
I'm so sorry about your father yeah yeah uh you're doing the the amount of feces that were still left inside his intestines was insane yeah he he was po
00:54:40
Master it was insane all right so we did clean him out though he's a poo Master he's a poo Master yeah did you clean him
00:54:47
out it took us about an hour and a half that's fine do whatever you want by the way cuz we're closing that s anything yeah yeah yeah but Mike we can do
00:54:54
whatever we want to the body yeah but FYI FYI right yeah I don't know if you
00:54:59
know it's is fine you know what I mean but did you do some of the back work uh on his on his back yeah of course do you
00:55:06
do below the back or his his his tush yeah I did his tush yeah in if did you
00:55:12
open sure did you you have to open right yeah I open it wide up did you see
00:55:17
alono are you talking about the the skin T Soul skin tag down there yeah we kept
00:55:22
it did did you really Mike bring out alono yeah yeah we have it oh that's amazing do you want it what if Alona for
00:55:29
some reason once you detach them he becomes a he start growing he has legs and he goes like hey puppy do you have
00:55:37
all of your dad still I have I have his ashes yeah are you going to dump him somewhere no really do you think they're
00:55:42
happier that way I think it's to be dumped H don't you think it's to be dumped here's the reason why you dump
00:55:49
them in a place that they loved my dad didn't love anywhere that's the problem honestly you know there's not a place
00:55:55
you know your you know your dad would love if we hit you with his ashes that's hilarious it would make him
00:56:03
feel at home right yeah like he's in heaven probably going whoa something
00:56:08
going on good we put him in a sock and we just hit you with it and he looks down and his spirit is his spirit is
00:56:16
like a [ __ ] a warrior yeah I would love that you want to talk about the movie yeah okay so fine let's announce
00:56:22
to the fans we're doing here it is we're doing the bottom of the Turtle Island in Spain f we're going to do it for real uh
00:56:28
we're putting together everything we need to put together and we're going to we're going to actually try to do it are you excited fans Fan's going to direct
00:56:35
very excited do we trust him can you do it I can do it but have you seen anything that he's directed did you
00:56:41
watch his movie well he did stke me in the sketch he was okay I remember pretty good really good I mean he a all right I
00:56:49
love your of the okay I love your friend coming to your [ __ ] defense that was
00:56:54
nice of all the guys that you of all the guys that you guys went to school with do you think he's one of the top tier guys that you went to school with truly
00:57:00
yeah Wow and his skill set by far the highest is directing yeah the highest what the highest of his skill sets is
00:57:06
directing or no yes yeah and then what's the highest what's the highest of your skill set George producing producing do
00:57:13
you think George is a good producer I think he's a great producer he really is he really is and I don't like giving him
00:57:18
credit can I tell you why you know why I don't like him credit cuz he gets it a lot he has a lot of people going George
00:57:24
you do great by the way he's got fans down here it's amazing the amount of fans the amount of fans that have said
00:57:30
hi to fancy be he makes me he makes me say every time they they yell fancy that he makes me say like he made me he made
00:57:37
me the amount of fans that have been like fancy and then I go look at George is here and they go hey George fancy
00:57:43
they L have you heard of what a q rating is no so a q rating you know let's let's
00:57:48
hold for a wagon what is that what the [ __ ] is that yeah wait of Cur rating
00:57:53
like Cur rating put no Q rating Q rating oh Q rating yeah yeah go ahead so
00:57:59
basically in television shows where they test people right and over the years you
00:58:04
know like if you see a guy on a pilot or he gets a sitcom that gets canceled really quick his Q rating goes up the
00:58:10
next time he gets a thing basically it's like test results correct right and
00:58:16
um your Q rating is so much more advanced than George's wow in terms of
00:58:23
liability W it's a scientific tested fact it's a fact this isn't this is not
00:58:28
this is and it has to do with his size it has to do with his voice it has to do with his weasel it's very like you know
00:58:36
it's like a cartoony Disney rat yeah yeah I mean like a singing R
00:58:42
comes on a tuxedo yeah yeah exactly we have to
00:58:48
shoot an episode there's always like a spotlight
00:58:53
when he's on the cartoon right he does a funny thing the kids love it they love it look at the loser they see that out
00:59:00
loud in the theater which is the parents are like oh you're loud he is such we got to give him one compliment though
00:59:06
he's been getting it's been bad in the Cancun no one's come up to him and said hi who George nobody said hi I'll give
00:59:12
George a compliment just one small one nobody said hi dude people are celebrating fancy B taking pictures
00:59:17
George have you taken any photos with anybody I jumped in like behind and jump in a photo he had jump in somebody
00:59:23
else's photo I think they framed me out but I was uh photos have you taken fancy be genuine be genuine a few a few yeah
00:59:29
well he did something because I've been observing him and outside the show before we started he was outside you
00:59:36
notice he was never inside the tent M he was always outside I noticed and if you could look at his hands you could see an
00:59:44
invisible fishing rod oh and he was fishing for compliments out there I tell
00:59:51
we should tell the audience this is something that's never going to seen and it was so sad to see this this is what I saw right him
00:59:57
go right right and he's just out there and everyone's like that's a swimming
01:00:03
pool there's nothing in there trust me he was fishing but he was out there fishing for hours it was really sad and
01:00:11
you know what's so funny when he introduced us he went out there beforehand to turn on the camera George
01:00:16
is already out there I know what that is just so they go fancy they lost it and I said fancy what were we doing he goes I
01:00:21
have to turn on the camera and I said isn't George out there and he goes yeah but I George was out there yeah George
01:00:27
was already out there oh it's so weird I didn't think it was out there no one said no one said
01:00:33
[Applause] anything
01:00:41
amig experience we got the
01:00:49
Dias Andreas give him a round of applause get up
01:00:54
our [Applause]
01:01:03
hey [Applause] [Music]
01:01:11
guys thank [Applause] you lie my legs are
01:01:17
[Applause] shaking thank you all for coming to
01:01:24
Mexico to see us is our first show life ever and we're very [Applause]
01:01:32
excited I didn't realized you guys were here to sing thank you
01:01:39
yeah so without further Ado let's introduce the stars of B
01:01:45
friends Bobby Lee and Andrew [Applause]
01:01:54
Santino [Applause]
01:02:04
Canada Dry it's never been more dry Bobby had a can of Canada Dry and we
01:02:10
decided to make a little song about it we moved inside because the sun got way too hot can it dry it's never been more
01:02:18
dry that's our um early 2000s when was that was that early 2000s 82 and all
01:02:23
that stuff yeah all the small P those guys made some really good hits though
01:02:29
they did and they're all from my area yeah from San Diego from Powe specifically yeah they went to high school with you what they were high with
01:02:35
you didn't know them specifically but you know um they did historically I like what's going on what's going on
01:02:42
man what is going on what is going on so um are you going to come swimming with me in the ocean or not for real you know
01:02:48
because you said there were Penguins what was it penguins in the ocean no what you said some sort of animal yeah there's Penguins out there no no what
01:02:54
kind of animal was it no that we saw a stingray today that's the one that's the one that killed the Englishman that
01:03:00
killed Steve Irwin is he English he's Australian you know what I'm talking about same and same gouged
01:03:07
out right through his body gouged the [ __ ] out kind of cool I know that's why I will not be going oh dude we swam up
01:03:14
to you we touched it I'm not as qualified as the Englishman Stevie Arin
01:03:20
clearly he wasn't either I my point is is that he's a professional and he got
01:03:25
gou he got merked but really what I'm asking you no but it was I think it's a Mana Ray there's a big difference I
01:03:31
think it was a Mana Ray say it right you [ __ ] face hey hey hey hey hey hey Manor Ray I mean Stingray Mana Ray they're two
01:03:37
different things you [ __ ] hard no this was a stingray never mind you can't say that you can't say fard
01:03:44
yeah you can I will no this was a stingray this was this this was a stingray yeah so no I will not be going
01:03:50
in but check it okay check it out if I get gouged out if you promise me I won't get gouged out promise on our friendship
01:03:57
you won't all right but if I do what do I get uh a new casket no no no if I if I
01:04:03
get attacked and get gouged out by one one of those little muskrats right yeah what will I get 10 grand cash I'll give
01:04:09
you 10 grand okay so tomorrow tomorrow we're swimming I'm going to be [ __ ] with them then no that's not the deal
01:04:16
yeah I want the 10 grand are all stingrays uh
01:04:22
deadly are no there's no way sting raay are flat disc shaped creatures with fins
01:04:28
orop generally aren't dangerous in fact they have a reputation for being gentle see they call them puppies of the sea
01:04:33
you've never heard of that before they actually don't I love the puppies of the sea but my point is is that knowing me I
01:04:39
don't know what how they lay you know if they lay on their side no no no and look that's they that's what they lay on
01:04:45
their backs like and they put their little f look like Sting or do they lay like when
01:04:52
they sleep well they're no their their backs are up when they swim and they sleep and then they settle down to the bottom of
01:04:57
the O I don't think they ever go on their back and look up they can't close their eyes and just go look at my dick
01:05:03
well they don't they don't have dicks they don't have dicks oh wait do stingr have penises yeah we Google that that's more important stingr har and we'll
01:05:10
figure out a way to make it gay so fatal sting in a second so you know what I mean fatal Stingray attacks on humans
01:05:16
are exceedingly rare only two have been reported in Australian water since 1945 oh that's so rare both victims were
01:05:21
stung in the chest just like Irwin it was extremely rare do stingrays have penises that's the most important the
01:05:27
most important question by far so how do you tell a sexual maturity male stingrays have external sexual organs
01:05:33
called claspers which are visible near the oh that seems aggressive they have claspers their penises [ __ ] grab out
01:05:38
of the vagina that felt so good you me to do it again I'm a stingray yeah
01:05:45
yeah that's what he does he clasps it don't do it on my okay sorry sorry I'll do it sorry yeah that's crazy they have
01:05:51
claspers and what they do is so once it's in it's in they have two penis like organism that lie within modified pelvic
01:05:57
fins they have two dicks stingrays have double dicks Right double dicks how about M if we were stingrays how mad
01:06:04
would you be if if as a joke I just clasped onto your butthole see how I did that yeah I knew
01:06:11
see how how the angle I was going to say how funny it would be if you was stingr and one of your penises was super huge and the other one was extremely small
01:06:17
and they made fun of you for not having two equal siiz penises or you can do jokes like my dad's H black and my mom's
01:06:22
Asian yeah I'm a half half I'm a half sting yeah yeah I'm a
01:06:28
I'm I I don't know I'm sure there's more better jokes Griffin is our Stingray
01:06:34
friend yeah yeah yeah so if it's small right is that what you're saying what
01:06:39
where's the come where's the come at it comes out of their P they have double penises they have two penises so it's like a two-on-one storage situation when
01:06:46
one is tired the other one goes to work right because our come is in our sack correct mhm okay it's not in the penis
01:06:53
area it ends up in there at some point yeah okay let me have a better spe more specific question right he takes the
01:06:59
elevator goes coming up yeah you know how sometimes you know you you
01:07:04
ejaculate and how good does that feel this is a good end of the episode yeah you know how you ejaculate I do know
01:07:10
right and so then you know after you masturbate or you have sex with a woman or man whatever your thing is and then
01:07:15
you go I got to go pee right and then when you pee it's sprays like in 12 different areas funny yeah when you
01:07:22
plugged up the hose right everywhere right and you don't give a [ __ ] you just do the best you can yeah you clean it
01:07:27
later well I usually pee in the shower oh really for that very reason but it sprays so what you're what what what
01:07:33
that means is that there's some clog clog clogging going on clation Clogg
01:07:39
ination going on right so when does that go away the clogging yeah it eventually
01:07:45
sprays away and then you're done are you still clogged are you still clogged no no no
01:07:52
have you been clogged for a long time clogged for like 6 months what spraying all over we got to go to
01:07:58
the doctor is that what it is yeah we got to go to the doctor I think my [ __ ] just dried like some sort of
01:08:04
adhesive like super glue got on there cement yeah yeah well maybe you're that's permanent yeah but it sprays and
01:08:11
is that a problem still yeah like right now if you go pee it does that 15 different areas and there's blood in the pee that's fine I think all right I
01:08:19
think that one's not a big deal you know what if a third thing happens then I'll go yeah wait till the end wait till something really happens something like
01:08:25
a foot falls off have you ever had blood in your pee Oh yeah and in my poo I've had po blood in both areas this
01:08:33
is gross why it's just nasty but speaking of which what did you come to the door with this morning when I when I said
01:08:38
hello I knocked on the door go ahead you say I knocked on the door and Bobby goes I'm in the bathroom and I go I I go I
01:08:44
clean your room and he goes no can I can I say it from my point of view sure all right so this is from my point
01:08:52
of view right yeah I literally wake up and I get well woken up how knock knock knock on the door no no
01:08:59
no I'm asking you how did I wake up why did what what was the thing that caused me to wake up a phone call no a poo oh
01:09:08
you had a [ __ ] yeah yeah right your body my body's like your body your
01:09:14
choice like it's like a little you know what I mean in my
01:09:20
mind right so my body just goes right
01:09:25
I get to the edge of the bed right and like a robot and I do this if you had a [ __ ] camera in the in the hotel room
01:09:31
God please don't have a camera in the in the bathroom right but you would see me walk like a
01:09:37
robot right so I'm taking a poo must [ __ ] right and as soon as the turtle's
01:09:43
face yeah comes out of the little hole I hear knock knock knock knock
01:09:50
housekeeping that was you right I went I went and no I said I got to clean the room right I going to clean the room I
01:09:57
go I'm taking a [ __ ] I said and then I go it's okay I going to clean now I don't know about you but in my day like
01:10:05
during the day I have these events that I look forward to just hear me out
01:10:10
taking a [ __ ] is one of them KCK any [ __ ] is one of them what's the other one the wind blowing in my face on the beach
01:10:16
you hate the beach I know but I love it okay I love that part of it okay my point is is that um I was taking a poo
01:10:24
one of my favorite things in the whole World mhm you interrupted me correct I was in a bad mood cuz I had I hadn't
01:10:30
drinking any coffee so I opened the door uhhuh and I stick something out what was
01:10:36
it toilet paper with what poop on
01:10:41
it good morning that was your good morning to me good morning will you swim with me
01:10:46
tomorrow though for real in the ocean the man Raaz for sure you promise yeah lie can can I can you do me a favor what
01:10:54
George get me toilet not to Pap get me um a bathing suit you don't you didn't
01:11:00
bring a bathing suit to the [ __ ] resort beach resort was in Hawaii too for a week I didn't bring it why there's
01:11:06
no need there's no need fancy do you have a bathing suit fancy didn't bring a ba you didn't bring a bathing suit
01:11:12
you're a loser what do you mean bring a bathing suit I need a medium bathing Su bu I just don't know he came to work
01:11:17
George he was getting trashed the last two nights came to work it's can dry how did it go it went can it a dry
01:11:25
it's never been more dry oh that's right that's it oh we have a Rudy didn't Rudy
01:11:31
want to say something oh my God you see the video hi to to Bobby hi to to
01:11:37
Andrew good luck in performing in the Just for Laughs crowd in
01:11:43
Cancun I hope you have a good time I miss Andreas and George already and I
01:11:50
hope Jim Jeff will be a good Rudy as a fill in
01:11:55
okay bye thank you for being a bad
01:12:04
friend here we go what I want you got and it might be hard to
01:12:11
handle what I want you've got in my big heart to handle know that you sound
01:12:16
funny why dude what are you doing give me the ha lift up give me the phone I'm going to do it and as fancy be give me
01:12:24
the phone right now yeah I'm going to do it at how fancy B does it right yeah what I want you've got and it might be
01:12:30
hard to handle but like a flame BS the candle sounds dumb like a candle feels the
01:12:37
flame yeah no one's dancing what I've got is stock full of thoughts and dreams that's SC up we're gonna this is we both
01:12:43
have to have to just our phones out yeah that's what that's fine all right how about this let me try the one yeah too fancy no I got want to do I just my own
01:12:50
okay what I want you got it might be hard to handle
01:12:55
but like the flame that burns the candle the candle feeds the
01:13:02
flame well well you
01:13:12
make [Music] well
01:13:19
[Music] my more
01:13:25
[Music] you Dre my back my back my
01:13:33
back I don't know what [Applause]
01:13:44
[Music]
01:13:54
it [Applause] is that all
01:13:59
right Sano and Bobby [Applause]
01:14:07
[Music]
01:14:24
Lee oh
