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This podcast is powered by Hule Hel. New customers can use code bad friends for 15% off plus a free gift. Yay. Ciao. I'm
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in Italy, but this week I will be in Edmonton and Winnipeg, Canada. Come see me Edmonton and Winnipeg. Go
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toino.com to Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello, mate. You all right, mate? I'm all right, mate. We're going to be coming to
00:00:25
London and Dublin July 18th and 19th. These are the only two shows we're doing
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in 2025 together. Yeah. International boys, we're done. If you're living in
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Scotland, go to London. If you're living in somewhere else, go to, you know,
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right? It's easy. If you're living in Scotland, go to England. And if you're
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living in um Norway, please fly to Dublin. Yeah. Yeah. Or Poland. And Poland. If you're living in Poland, you
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probably got to come to our Polish show. We're doing one Polish sausage show.
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We're not July 18th and 19th, London and Dublin. Go to badfriend.com. Badfriendpod.com. You two are bad
00:00:55
friends. Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting.
00:01:03
You two are something. We're bad friends. Ladies and gentlemen, she returns. She has risen. It's Rudy
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Jewels. She's been away from the show for too long. She's been doing a lot of Tiger
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Belly, a lot of Belly Tiger, a lot of trash Tuesday. I have an intro that I prepared. Oh, sorry about that. Can I
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Can I Yeah, please. It's going to take a couple minutes. Yeah, do it. Hello, my weary travelers. My boat
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crashed along a seashore and I ran into a fair, the Renaissance fair. And I saw many things. chalicees being made, chain
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mails, and I also saw one school shooter. I saw um a man walking a pickle. Wow. Yes. And um I have found my
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people. And I have some gifts for you all if if I may. If I may. Did you really? Yes. Honestly.
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Will you play the uh bird again? Yeah. Yeah, that's beautiful for jewels. I'm not kidding. I love that
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thing. Yeah, jewels. I bought you a It's a wand. It's a wand. Yeah, that's what
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they call it. Come, come grab it. Play the bird. Play the bird. Play the bird, bud. Okay. Sorry.
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There's not enough water. I got to put some more water in. Very good. Okay. Very good. Yeah. Put some more water.
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Perfect. Whoa. Needs water. Oh, king. What is that? King, I got you. Voldemort's wand. God
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bless. Oh, blow the blow the bird. Okay. Thank you. Here. Thank you. And then and then dude for my for my friend
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Carlo. Oh, come please. blow the burn. [Music] [Laughter] Here's a one for you, my friend. Wow.
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Here you go. All right. Don't jam much. Do not do not jam it in your ass. Yeah.
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Happy birthday, Carlos. Stop it. And then McCullen, please come. [Laughter] I gave you an a black bird charmer. Here
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you go, my friend. Cool. Andreas. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. What do you say, you idiot? Yeah. Yeah. You bow or something.
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Andreas. Come here. I have a gift for you, too. Thank you. I have a gift for you, too, Andreas. This is a big one.
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Right. This is a ceramic penis. Bibbidity bobby boot. Yeah. Yeah. Booty boop. And that's that's that is it. I
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had a joyous day. Yeah. Thank you so much. And then you just got drunk all day, huh? Yeah.
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Yeah. Smash. Yeah. How'd you get here? Uber. Oh, good. Uber. Uber. My friend
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Yeah. Can I tell you something? This means more than I think you know to me. me. Why does it? Well, because you don't
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buy me stuff. Yeah. This is special. That was one of the most expensive ones there. How much?
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$50. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So, we saw on Instagram Bobby went to the Renaissance Fair. First time ever. Yes.
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First time. Last time. First time. First time. I'm going next Sunday. You are?
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Yeah. And Jules is going to come. Are you really going? Are you excited? I want to go. Are there elves? Oh my god.
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There's elves. There's orcs. There's everything that you can desire. Well,
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explain to us how looks really cool. What? Shut up, fancy. Shut up. Honestly, shut up. That was me. Phony at the fair
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today. You're at the fair with your friend Britney. Yes. And so I'm proud
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that you draw you dressed up. Well, you can rent. See, that's that's where I
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made the mistake. You rented I came like this. Yeah. And then I went to the store
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and I rented that vest. Good looking vest. And I was just jamming out here in front of this. Yeah. It
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was I'm telling you, dude, that was a song. You loved it. I saw jousting. I saw a couple of plays. Wow. Yeah. Yeah.
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It was a very enjoyable thing. So, you'll go back. I'm going to go back next Sunday. Yeah. With Jules and
00:05:39
Dumbfounded and Jean and also Andrea Jin. Look at that. You look good. And I'm going to I'm going to we're going to
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dress as and I'm going to get your dress as peasants. Uh but but Asian peasants.
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So, my fantasy is this. Wait, that's not Asian peasants. Whatever you did before.
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No, that wasn't Asian peasants. Who's that? Who's that woman? That's Britney
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the girl I was with. Carlos, stop creeping. Stop creeping. Carlos, stop creeping, dude. Don't don't don't. Okay.
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No. I want to the bird. Okay. Okay. Okay. You want to communicate? Yeah. Dude, that's a connection we'll always
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experience for the rest of our lives. So, what I want to say to you is is that we're dressed as, you know, I mean,
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Japanese rice farmers from the 17th century and our our little canoe got lost and we ended up in the shores of
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this English countryside. Yeah. And we end up at Renaissance fair and we'll have samurai swords and I'm going to
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wear the little rice patty hats and we're going to get you like a dress. You
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know what I mean? Okay. Okay. Or unless you want to Well, unless you want to dress. How would you like to dress? Like
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the elves. Okay. kind of dress like the Philippines. The Philippines don't have
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d Well, elves, I mean. Yeah, we do. Yeah. Yeah. Those are called um crickets. Those are Filipino crickets,
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dude. They're not elves. What does it say in your sweater? Oh, is that a Filipino cricket or elf? Piglet. Piglet.
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That's a piglet. What's been going on with you, Jules? Do you Do you always
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get drunk on Easter? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For Jesus. Yeah. Nice try, Jews. You know what I mean?
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Yeah, dude. This is the Andrew I like. We got you, dude. So, did you um go egg hunting? Oh, yeah. Yeah, you did.
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Something little something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What was in those little eggs, huh? A little bit of money.
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Really? Chocolate. Yeah. You and your buddies, huh? Charlie Day, Jason Baitman. Why did you bring you bring
00:07:38
these names that aren't relevant at all? Hollywood. And so happy. So, who did I
00:07:46
go egg hunting with? I have no idea. You're fancy friends. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:07:50
I Allison Janney and Yeah, of course. Bradley Whitford. The whole cast of West. Bradley. Bradley Cooper. Yeah.
00:07:56
Yeah. Yeah. Bradley. No. Bradley Whitford. The whole the whole And John Ham. John Ham and I had lunch today.
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Really? Are you being real? No. [ __ ] Do you know John? No. Oh, I met him once. You do? Yeah. One time I
00:08:08
met him. Time out. Yeah. Let's be honest. Yeah. Yeah. Are you still mad at Carlos or No,
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cuz I feel like there's a lot of tension from last week. Yeah, but you know,
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there I'm a forgiving man and I bought You really are. I It was really hard to
00:08:25
buy him a wand. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I I pondered over it for like an hour looking at it. Be honest. Yeah. Two
00:08:31
hours. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I went, you know what? He deserves a wand. He does. Yes, Bob. So, you know, when uh
00:08:39
Voldemort or the Jews attack Uhhuh. Yeah. Um, good boy. Maybe I regret getting that for McCone, but um,
00:08:52
yeah, he he's going hog wild with it, but um, it is a beautiful thing. If you
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ever Would you ever go? No, you should go with a situation. Shut up. Yeah. Yeah. Why wouldn't you go though? It's
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so I laugh the whole time. Okay. How about this? Yeah. Will you come to an NBA game? Yeah. No, you won't. I will.
00:09:12
You won't? I if you get me tickets, would you come to an M Dodger game? Will
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you sit in a Dodger game? I'll go with I'll go with you. No, you won't. Yes, if
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you You know you won't. I've offered you before. Outside a contract going I will
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go if you go to a run. Sounds fair. Carlos, can I get some help? For real. I've offered you to come to You don't
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want to come. You've never offered me. Have you ever heard? Have you ever heard
00:09:33
him offer me? Yes. Thank you, Andreas. Yes. Yeah, he has for the Lakers, actually. Yes, I have. I've come to You
00:09:39
won't go to Lakers. Oh, I love it. If I'm sitting next to [ __ ] Jack Nicholson, I'll do it. He's dead.
00:09:47
No, but seriously, you won't come to an NBA game. I will go. That's what it is.
00:09:52
That's an NBA. Look at the women. That's your NBA. Yeah, but I I laugh so hard. Like, you know,
00:09:57
there was a play I can't get into this cuz it's getting in trouble. No. No.
00:10:01
Come on, please. Well, years ago, I was on a game show and um it was with Rob Growski in that game show called Game
00:10:07
On. Oh, yeah. Right. And there was like it was terrible. Anyway, bad TV. So, I did a joke and the
00:10:20
happy Easter. The producers came up to me and they go, "We have to cut that
00:10:23
out." I go, "Why? What did you say?" He goes, "It was racist." What did you say?
00:10:27
I said, "There was a thing about Renaissance fairs and what's one thing
00:10:30
about the Renaissance fair?" And I go, "There's no black people." And then they
00:10:34
came up to me and got cut. You can't say that. Literal fact. When I went there, I
00:10:38
saw three. Wait a minute. Yeah. But those but these three though, special kind. You know what I mean? Oh yeah. Oh, wait.
00:10:49
Wait. Look who we see on the fourth picture in. Look who we see. My boy. My dog. Yeah, it's my dog, dude. James, did
00:10:54
you finish it? Yes. Yes. Stop. Yeah. Yeah. And I It's a fire bothering you, dude. I love this. You can't do that. I
00:11:06
just did it. I know, but you can't do it. It was great. Yes. Yes. Yes. I'll do
00:11:12
it. Is the fire bothering you, mom? Dad, this guy is so [ __ ] James, dude. He's
00:11:19
the biggest dick. Cool. What? He's the coolest guy. He's the coolest guy. I'm
00:11:22
the coolest guy. I'm so sorry. James, I just imagined James is the man. But is
00:11:27
he better than Connor? Connor and James are headtohead. Yeah. For me, they're
00:11:31
headtohead. Yeah. Now, here's here's Connor. Ready? Yeah. She's coming.
00:11:38
Oh, I love Dude, I love that he pauses work. Did you see the last episode? Shh. Did you? Yeah. Were you mad at me? No,
00:11:47
cuz it was still hot. What a be You know what? Hot makeup. Now we can talk about
00:11:51
it, you know. No, you can. Well, for the fans, it's too late now. You had to
00:11:55
watch. But I um Georgie, I when I kiss somebody, I want to be like them. Yeah. where it's like they
00:12:03
want you to be the magic. Yeah. You know what I mean? The magic, the spark, you know, and that's what I'm waiting for.
00:12:11
Well, Abby has been making out. Remember, do you remember we ran into Abby at the airport? Remember, dude,
00:12:16
that was so funny. We were going to Boston. Where were we going? Boston? We were going somewhere and Abby and his
00:12:20
mom. Do you guys remember this? Who was with us? No. Abby and her mom was there.
00:12:23
Yeah. And then um I don't know. I think I started the conversation with them
00:12:27
first. There she is. There's Abby. And she was so sweet. The what? Wood, would I would Abby Carlos Carlos Carlos
00:12:37
got it? By the way, when he says something perverse, you always go. It's really low. Yeah. Uh, she's the
00:12:46
[ __ ] Carlos, Carlos, what would you do first, Carlos? Put on a Disney Plus. That's good.
00:12:56
That's good. Smart, right? You know what I do? Get her some dolphin stickers. Love. Put some around the
00:13:04
room. Love. And she'll go, "Yay!" or whatever. You know what I mean? And then
00:13:07
what else? That's good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Jules. Jules. Do you watch that show? No. You don't see Love
00:13:15
on the Spectrum? You don't watch that? No. What are you watching right now? White Lotus. No, she didn't watch that.
00:13:20
The Last of Us. Is there Love on the Spectrum in the Philippines? Imagine them. Well, I see. Yeah, they're
00:13:27
drowning in you want to climb the tree. You want to climb this tree? Yeah, I'm
00:13:33
kidding. So, I don't like Last of Us because of the mushroom zombies. But that's the most realistic thing. Cuz
00:13:41
mushroom zombies cortiseps. They do that to their um That is the most real. Well,
00:13:46
I do have an itchy foot. Is that from that? You are my fungi. You're You're my
00:13:51
mushroom zombie. Yeah, I got rid of my fungi through the machines. By the way, you're no double piercing is that's
00:13:56
right. It's looking good. Good for you, dude. Are you okay? Yeah. I just think
00:14:03
you're you're not part of us anymore. You left us. You're Give her what you
00:14:07
miss about her. Well, here's the deal. I love Jules. We started the show with
00:14:11
Jules and then every time I see her, I'm like, "Oh, she's not ours anymore." What
00:14:15
do you mean? You know what I mean? Don't play dumb with me, pal. Did she I literally You disappeared. You became a
00:14:21
star on other shows. Am I wrong? Am I wrong? I live with her. I don't Yeah, I'm not. You're not wrong. You don't
00:14:26
even take care of his house. Well, check. She abandons the dog sometimes. No. Too famous. No, I don't. Today, you
00:14:32
walked him at noon at 6:00 and now you're coming home. That's fine. Where
00:14:36
were you? Where were you? Out with friends. No, don't Where were you, dude? I hang out with friends. You were no
00:14:44
friends. What? You should have no friends, dude. Thank you. I went to the beach.
00:14:52
You went to 15 milk tea shops. That's what you did. Yeah. You do something weird like that. And the dogs
00:14:58
need to get walked and they cry at night. But they're not being walked cuz of you. Yeah. Cuz you're you're
00:15:05
negligent sometimes. Wow. My god. What a mess, huh? Did you ask for the jar head at the
00:15:12
[ __ ] the hair plant place? I did. Yeah. Yeah. It's a weird And I get the jar head from, you know, wait full metal
00:15:19
jacket. I want the haircut from full metal jacket. Fans. Yeah, fans. What is it? It doesn't look good. You have to
00:15:26
wait. You have to wait. Okay, that's you. That's you, dude. Yeah. Yeah. What
00:15:32
are you doing? I don't know what I'm told. That's you, dude. My god. And And are
00:15:42
you mad that your people aren't in the new Star Wars? Yeah. What the crazy? What do you mean? They just just put
00:15:48
porks in there. Yeah. Porgi porky py and with the mil. They could be militant porks, right? With guns.
00:15:57
Chewbacca can't eat us, right? That's you, dude. You look good, fam. Yeah, you
00:16:01
look really good. Let's go back to the victim. Can you When you look at your
00:16:05
penis, is it translucent? It seems like it is. Okay. You know what's rude? Put it in your
00:16:12
pocket. Don't put it there. Pervert. Yeah. You're going to take your wand
00:16:15
home, right, Jules? What's been going on with Jewels? Well, you keep asking that,
00:16:20
dude. Because she's not around anymore. I know. She left us, guys. I did leave.
00:16:25
Did she leave us? She's graduating. No. No. Look at the booth. Did she leave us?
00:16:28
Yeah. She's graduating from college in two months, right? Yeah. Isn't that
00:16:33
crazy? She started this show when she was in high school. High school. I know. Senior in high school. I know. But I
00:16:38
didn't leave you guys. Yes, you did. Don't Don't Don't. I didn't. Trash
00:16:43
Tuesday and Tiger Valley. Ask me. Not you guys. fans at home, did she leave us? Comment down below. Yeah, comment
00:16:52
down below. You know you did. No, I did. Who gave you the most fun opportunities?
00:16:57
Funny. And she doesn't take them. No. Yeah. Come down to Long Beach. Get appreciated. I don't want to. I don't
00:17:02
want to. I don't. Yeah. Yeah. And it's fine. And now you're single. She's a hot
00:17:07
shot. She's got money. Does whatever she wants. Single. It's It's You know what's
00:17:11
so funny about you, too? You claim you don't have a lot of money, but there's a
00:17:15
lot of Amazon packages for you. A lot. goes, "I need underwear." No, that's not
00:17:20
Nobody's ordering underwear. Go to Ross. I need underwear and hangers. See, people like you. This people are like
00:17:26
ungrateful. Ungrateful. Ungrateful people. Yeah. People like, "What has Tito Bobby done for you? Literally
00:17:31
everything. And here you are ordering underwear off of Amazon. Disgusting. Heavy metal [ __ ]
00:17:45
What have you done? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. What have you done for me? Move
00:17:52
away. Can I tell you something? What? [ __ ] you. When you posted that photo of you at the Renaissance Fair, I literally
00:17:58
said I go, "He looks happier than I've seen him in years." Yeah. No, I'm
00:18:01
serious. Put up the photo. I'm not kidding. I saw that photo today. Which one? With me and Brit or just me
00:18:06
dancing? You and Brit, dude. I was like, "You guys, you look so stoked."
00:18:11
You know why? This is my friend. You know, I know, dude. But I'm just saying,
00:18:14
you know why? Pretty. Yeah. Very, very pretty. You know why? Yeah. Because you're having I can tell right there.
00:18:21
You're goofing. You're having fun. And you're goofing. I said, "Oh, man. He's
00:18:25
goofing. He's having a good time." And I guarantee you, you got recognized a lot.
00:18:28
And you were jamming and having a good day. Well, I'll be honest with you. I
00:18:31
had Carlos. I had two fairies. Am I right? I had two fairies. Two executioners. Who' you get recognized?
00:18:36
The king. a king recognize you. Another one, this is a funny one, dude. A man, so he was holding something on a leash
00:18:44
and there was like a man with no shirt on, black leather pants. I don't know
00:18:48
what he was. He was holding something on the leash and I go, "That's" And I and I
00:18:52
followed the leash down and there was another man as like a dog or something. Sure.
00:18:58
Just crawling on the ground like that. Sure. Yeah. So you have that, too. What do you mean? That's just what do you
00:19:03
mean his and the dog the dog human recognizes you went my prank said my prank I prank yeah so that
00:19:12
was nice that's a real thing there by the way you do see like people on leashes huh there's a lot of weird
00:19:16
things there a lot of trans which I support I do I know but yeah yeah and it's a
00:19:24
couple me lady and he goes he lady m yeah yeah Sorry. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, that was one
00:19:34
of those situations. That's okay. Yeah. It's okay. You're You're g I was
00:19:37
gathering information. You're gathering information as you It's a long walk.
00:19:41
It's a lot of walking. What? Orange County. Where was this? It's in Pasadena. Got to be. It was a long, but
00:19:46
it it just goes on forever and then it's like I I ate crepes. Yeah. Okay. You
00:19:52
like sweet or savory crap? Sweet. Nutella. Yeah. Yeah. Love. Strawberry. You like pink berry or yogurt land?
00:20:01
I hate Pink Berry so much it's unbelievable. It's a fake place. It's
00:20:06
dog [ __ ] Yeah. Give me ice cream. Frozen yogurt is a lie. Am I right, guys? It's a lie. It's not a lie. It's a
00:20:14
lie. Tell me this. Pink berry can't compete with Salt and Straw, McConnell's, Vanluen. It doesn't even
00:20:21
come close. It's a cleaner taste, though. But it doesn't satisfy you. It
00:20:26
does. No, it doesn't. With a chocolate malt crunch. The [ __ ] it does, dude.
00:20:30
Chocolate. Ice cream is better than frozen yogurt every day of the week. Everyone knows ice cream.
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to tell you which one, but somebody was using my money to rent boats in Florida and go fishing. That was me, dude. That
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are there. Wow. Not one of those people South Korean. Yeah. Look. Well, look at the
00:23:52
one in the hat right there. That's that's like a Korean Jew right there.
00:23:56
Korean. I can't wait to leave. Yeah. Look at your little wand, by the way. Do
00:24:00
you like your wand? It's so nice. What are you texting? Nothing. You're on
00:24:07
your [ __ ] Here's the deal about Bob. When he falls in love with somebody or
00:24:11
falls in crush, whatever, he's on his phone the whole time. That's crazy. You
00:24:15
have another crush. Hard. Hard. You love You like this person a lot. No, let me do my own. Sorry.
00:24:31
Dating addiction. Maybe cut that out. Carlos thinks Yeah, that felt weird. It didn't hit. Carlos
00:24:38
thinks you have a dating addiction. Well, you know, um I've been looking up liance. Limicks from Ireland. No.
00:24:46
Limrance. And I will love you so very much. What is it? Limrance is um an infatuation with somebody that's
00:24:54
bordering on unhealthy. Do you think that's what you have? I don't know. So,
00:24:58
I'm being mindful about how I behave. You know, why why can't I deserve love?
00:25:04
That's what we're saying. No, we're not saying No, we're literally saying I want
00:25:08
you to be happy. Am I wrong? I I think you're a sabotager. Why? I don't know,
00:25:13
man. How would you ever hook me up with a friend of yours? Yeah. And can I tell you something? Every time you date
00:25:20
someone or starts talking to someone, I do something. Do what do you think I do?
00:25:23
A prayer. And I'm going to say this to the fans right now. Yeah. What do you
00:25:26
think I really do? A prayer. No. What do you do? Every time you date somebody, I
00:25:31
look into their profile. And what's the first thing you think I do, Carlos? What
00:25:35
do you think I do with their profile? Let me guess. You jerk off. Uhuh. Carlos, what do you think I do? I think
00:25:39
you look at the stories. I see. You look at the stone. I see if that Go ahead, M. If she's following a bunch of
00:25:46
other comics. Uh-huh. Thank you, M. Okay. I go, how many people comics is she following? And then I also see, has
00:25:56
she DM'd anyone we know? And the current woman that you're having a good time
00:26:05
with, Gusk, that means she's a good one. Am I wrong? Yeah. Yeah. She's not following a lot of
00:26:12
comics and she hasn't been DMing comics. Yeah. That means she's legit. She likes
00:26:18
She's not a chuckle [ __ ] Well, no. She likes Bobby Lee. Instead of liking the world of Bobby Lee, she likes Bobby
00:26:24
Lee. And that to me, as the booth knows, is the most important. Have I not supported you? Seriously?
00:26:32
[Music] Enough of that. I think people are going to drive it's going to drive people
00:26:36
crazy. Yeah. No, but am I being serious? Yes. When I see she's following other
00:26:41
comments, blah blah blah. And let me tell you something. I looked into golf. And when I see a golf ball, right, I
00:26:47
look at it different because of you. And what do you do? Sorry. That's what happens. It never arrives to me. He
00:26:54
drifts away from me like you do. I'll get it. We get one. You got a kid that'll get it. Yeah. Good girl. Oh my
00:27:00
god. Oh my. You mean King Dork. And don't get offended by this if I may. Go ahead. Right. This
00:27:07
look this the texture of the ball is kind of like your face. Oh my god. Go on. Go on. Well, I think if you were
00:27:16
younger, maybe you had some acne. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So, I'm feeling
00:27:20
those craters. Oh, you feel that? Yeah. Yeah. And then, but if the center there's a mass in there, you know what I
00:27:27
mean? And that's the brain. That's my brain. Yeah. And that's the brain. And
00:27:30
your brain Yeah. is filled filled. Thank you. Yeah. With knowledge. Thank you. Yeah. And Yeah. But this texture of the
00:27:37
skin though is the one I want to go back. Is it bad? Not my favorite. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, here you
00:27:44
go. Yeah. I'll take that hit. Yeah. Yeah. What do I remind you of? An ugly old
00:27:55
52-y old man who's single and sad. Wow. That that was fast. That was fast and furious. Part of six, I'll tell you
00:28:05
that. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, you're the prettiest guy. You're pretty. And who
00:28:11
supports you more than me? Not these [ __ ] clowns. Yeah. Shut up. I mean, now that you're single, what are you
00:28:17
going to do, loser? Eat [ __ ] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, are you on to girls? Are you on to girls? I don't
00:28:25
know, but I'll try. That's the thing about That's the thing about Love on the
00:28:29
Spectrum. The autistic kids, they when they're like, I don't know if I like
00:28:32
guys, they go right to uh by curious and I'm autistic. Yes. Yeah. But the two
00:28:42
girls in there got together. Yeah. Yeah. And they're in love. I'm saying Perry.
00:28:46
Yeah. She likes trains. Perry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love her. I love her. So, what are you you're interested in chicks
00:28:52
or No. Yeah. Anything. No. You're open. M but what do you you're leaning towards
00:28:58
girls now? No, just both. Okay. But I want to try BBC, too. Huh? What? What? What? What?
00:29:07
What? What? What? What? Big Black [ __ ] Yeah. No. No. No. No. Yes. Well, attention all BBC's.
00:29:15
[Laughter] There it is. That's yours. Wow. Send in your uh Don't send in your penis. That's
00:29:23
disgusting. That's disgusting. Sending your send in your uh what I mean a video. No, no, no. Cuz they'll do penis
00:29:30
like measurements. No. No. No. Your credit rating. Yes. Yes. Your credit rating. Send them what kind of car you
00:29:37
drive. You drive a Challenger or a Charger uh at Carlos in the boothgmail.com. Let's see if you can get
00:29:44
some chocolate love down here to Cinnamon Central. So, when we're at the Renaissance Sons Fair, right, we ran
00:29:50
into a couple of little Asian girls. They're in their 30s, but they're like
00:29:54
smaller. Forever girls. And we were eating and stuff like that. And then my friend goes, "Yeah." They're going,
00:29:59
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yum. Yum. Look at that. There's Brad Williams."
00:30:05
Yeah. Yeah. Stop, dude. And then and then they look like, you know, um, librarians or whatever. Or,
00:30:12
you know what I mean? Or they were like dental assistants. Dental assistants. Yeah. And then my friend goes, "Oh,
00:30:17
they're the two biggest Only fans." So then I immediately go, "What's their
00:30:20
only fans?" What do you mean? There's two little people. No, they're not
00:30:23
dwarves, but they're just smaller Asians that look cute and look like engineers
00:30:28
and they're famous only fans. Yeah. Yeah. And so then I frantically, you know, they're forcing people trying to
00:30:32
get their Only Fans. Put What are they? What's her name? Right. I'm not going to
00:30:35
say, but my point is is that And ooh la la. It was nice. Nice. Nice. You never can tell. You never can tell. That's my
00:30:41
thing. Are you going to do apps now? You never did the apps. Like Tinder. Oh, like No. Hinge. Tinder. Rya. Try it. Ry
00:30:50
is yours, right? That's what you're on. Yeah, you can get on probably Ry, but I
00:30:53
don't like the guys on Ry to go get on, you know, cuz your generation not do the
00:30:59
apps. They do, but like all the guys there just want to [ __ ] Yeah. I think you're asexual. Is that what it is? No,
00:31:07
but I mean, like, isn't that what all the apps are? Am I crazy? Yeah. Yeah. Fancy don't I don't want to fancy you.
00:31:14
She's looking for love. Yeah. You were never on the apps, right? You met your
00:31:17
wife in where? at a bar. What bar? The Dodgers uh bar. The Dodgers bar. Do you Do you mean the shortstop? Yep. Are you
00:31:27
[ __ ] kidding me? No. You met your wife at the shortstop on Sunset? Uh-huh. When When you go in for a Jo, shut up.
00:31:36
Honestly, you're the one that's drunk. I know. Yeah. And you know what? You know,
00:31:42
I'm I'm drunk on Easter and let me tell you something. I'm hurt. Oh, let's hear it. Can I be
00:31:48
honest? I'm hurt. Tell us your your hurt pain. Because Jules was our Oh my god.
00:31:55
She was one of the pillars of this show. Uhhuh. And she went away and she doesn't
00:32:00
give a [ __ ] about us, dude. You're a [ __ ] [ __ ] right now, dude. You don't care about us anymore. I do. No,
00:32:06
you don't. I swear. No, you clean up the dog poop and you don't care. You know,
00:32:11
your behavior last night was uncalled for. But I do. We were doing a show at the Ice House. Usually we switch, but
00:32:17
you told me to close. And then you're like, "Oh, I don't." Everybody wants the
00:32:20
king to close. Am I right? Yeah. And then he go and he goes, "Oh, I have nothing." And then he goes up there and
00:32:25
he destroys. No. With crowd work. No. And I got buried both shots. I was rife in it. Yeah. There's Matt rife in it.
00:32:32
Yeah. My guy Dr. Drew Dr. Drew came and saw us. He diagnosed us. Yeah. Yeah. He gave us a breakdown. This [ __ ]
00:32:40
can diagnose you live. Yeah. He's a good guy, though. I gotta tell you, Bob is
00:32:45
ready to film. I'm not ready to film. Yes, you are. Bobby's hour is so funny.
00:32:51
And I've seen it for two years. We were on the road. Okay. And now he's been
00:32:55
doing his thing. And I'm not I'm not kidding. It's You're so ready. It's
00:32:58
crazy. It's so funny. It's funny to watch someone do it. No, I'm not. I'm
00:33:03
not kidding. I'm still not done, man. No, he's Yeah. I need another 20 and I'm
00:33:07
good. He's ready to rock. Another 20, but it's going to be And we were there
00:33:10
with Kevin Nean last night. Nean, one of the greatest of all time. Yeah. So he's
00:33:14
a liar. Passively. He's a liar. What' he do? He goes, "Hey, Kevin, did you go
00:33:18
up?" Well, he goes, "Yeah, I did." But he didn't. Yeah. Not yet. You can't get
00:33:22
anything truthful from it. I know. Yeah. Yeah. Would you bring a date to the ice
00:33:26
house? Cuz you bring dates to the store. I think it's You know what? Home territory is different though. This new
00:33:32
This new ice house. Yeah. I hate it at first. Why? I think they treat me poorly. Really? Yeah. And then I
00:33:40
complained about it on I think this podcast. Mhm. Yeah. And then Johnny Buzz called me and said, "Dude," he goes,
00:33:47
"Give us another chance." You did? And they switched it up and they made They
00:33:50
treat all of us better now. 100%. Yeah. Yeah. And now it's nice to go. You feel
00:33:54
better when you go down there. I like the rooms. I love them. Yeah. I will say I miss the old ice house. For people
00:34:01
that don't know, it was all Mexican. Yeah. Give it to me. Yeah. I love Mexicans.
00:34:08
I love Mexicans. And it was more Mexican. It's still some, but I liked when it was all Mexican. Yeah, I love
00:34:16
Mexicans. Yeah, they're just great people. They're just I don't know. It's
00:34:21
different now. Am I wrong? Please, come on. Yeah, Mexicans. No, no, they're rude
00:34:26
now. Oh, you don't like Mexicans? I love them. Not that. No, no, seriously. You
00:34:31
don't like them? I love them. Why? Why? Yeah. Just a couple of Mexicans today,
00:34:34
they had very yellow teeth, but that's just an observation. Really? Because next to the Renaissance
00:34:42
Fair is a park and it's Easter, right? So, you know, you got a guy, you know
00:34:46
what I mean? You wearing like a he's got a mini moped and he's got like a
00:34:50
Spider-Man hat on. Oh, yeah. Hey, PTO, get out of the way. You know what I mean? That kind of thing. You know what
00:34:55
I mean? It's Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And there's all those You want go you go from the Renaissance fair to like, you
00:35:00
know, people, you know, with real knives, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? And like, you know what I
00:35:06
mean? It it was like a completely different if there was a war they would win. Oh, sure. between the Renaissance
00:35:10
Fair. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They would totally win. But, you know, Yeah. It's good. I love it. Where was the
00:35:14
Renaissance Fair? In Pasadena, but by the bowl or something? No, it's like far. I It was a little farther than
00:35:21
Pasadena, actually. But it was talking. Where is that? No. Carlos, don't. See, it's that that
00:35:28
whole green thing. See that whole green thing right there? Can you zoom in, buddy? That's so far
00:35:34
past where the lake is. Yeah. Yeah. That's exact because the lake is Padina,
00:35:38
dude. Zoom out. That's [ __ ] What is that called? It's by a zoom. Irwindale.
00:35:42
That's so far away. It's pretty far. Yeah. Pasadena. Yeah, Pasadena is 20
00:35:47
miles west. So, were you wellreceived? What do you mean, dude? Were people excited to see
00:35:54
Bobby Lee at the Renaissance Fair? Um, you know, dude, it's funny. When please.
00:36:00
When I was with my group, no one really said anything, but but I did voyages on my own and that's when it started
00:36:06
happening. So, do you broke you broke off from the group? I had to break up from the group to do my little shopping.
00:36:11
Do you have to talk to people about it? Do they have to say, "Let's before we
00:36:14
dismantle, we must organize it." It feels like they're plotting for war
00:36:18
every time they're there. No. Yeah. Oh, no. They go, "We'll go where the You
00:36:21
know what I mean? The mini cows are meet us back there." Mini cows. There's a
00:36:25
petting zoo. Calves. Little cows. Yeah. Really? Did you pet? I sure did. You did? Are there games? Yeah. There's axe
00:36:33
throwing, spear throwing, um, bow and arrow, right, with, you know what I mean? I didn't do any of those
00:36:39
activities. You didn't want to try one of them? No, no, no, no. When I saw my group do the
00:36:44
spears and they were just so bad. Your group and I was ripping on them. I go, "Oh my god, what do you have? Carpal
00:36:49
tunnel." I was just like making fun of them. If you could do one, what would
00:36:52
you do? Bow and arrow, I think, cuz Koreans are good at that. Are they the guy? The guy from the Olympics and
00:36:58
women. Really? Yeah. We win every time in the Olympics. Let me see you pose. That's a bone and arrow if I've ever
00:37:06
seen. No, I'm not done. No, it looks good. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, po. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Right
00:37:15
there it is. That's That's the South Korean moment. She won the the gold in
00:37:18
the Olympics. Right. Amazing. These What's her name? Third gold medal. Anan Juan. Anan Juan. That's her third gold
00:37:24
medal. Anan. Damn, dude. That's got to be so gangster. I mean, have you ever
00:37:28
seen the splash brothers? Steph Curry. No, no, no. They're Filipino guys diving
00:37:34
and they're trying to qualify for something. Oh, and they Yeah, I can't.
00:37:37
They can't. I've seen him. I mean, play it. This guy's my guy. This the guy the
00:37:41
fourth one. Yeah. Well, it's all of them really. Dan Emosen. Okay. Good takeoff. Not going to make it.
00:37:57
Oh my god. By the way, the second guy's worse when they pause it. Jesus. Jesus Christ. Look at his Look at
00:38:05
his form. Look at his form. Right on his back. That's pretty good. No high five.
00:38:11
Why would you high five? No high five. All right, dude. I If he high five, I would move my head. How about a John
00:38:18
David? Yeah. I didn't see. Let's see if this guy John Don David Po. Try not to laugh, guys. Just thinking
00:38:27
about his his nurse gig right after this. Oh no. Yes, sir. Jesus Christ. He does
00:38:36
this but he lands on his feet. It's incredible. I mean, he's like tucking in
00:38:41
pain. Look at his face. Oh my god. How are they so bad? How they How are they You're surrounded by water.
00:38:50
The Philippines are surrounded by Well, you have cliffs. How are they that bad? I don't know. Uh yeah, they're bad. Look
00:38:57
at his face, dude. Look at that. He took a [ __ ] mid air, dude. Look at him. Oh my
00:39:02
god. Look at him. His whole life flushing for Delete Me. Delete me makes it easy,
00:39:09
quick, and safe to remove your personal data online. Uh at a time when surveillance and data breaches are
00:39:14
common enough to make everyone vulnerable. I feel vulnerable. Don't you? Yeah. And my personal information
00:39:19
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bad friends to 6400. The only way to get 20% off is to text bad friends to 6400 0. That's bad friends to
00:40:11
6400. Message and data rates may apply. A lot of Filipinos don't know how to
00:40:17
swim. Why? Why? Cuz they don't go to No, but seriously, why? It's an island. It's
00:40:22
an island. Well, some islands. It's a chain of It's a chain of islands. Some
00:40:27
Filipino. It's not Nebraska. Some Filipinos don't want to get dark. They
00:40:32
don't bother going to the in the sun. In the sun. See? Yeah. Okay. But did you
00:40:37
ever use sunscreen as a kid? That was not a thing. No, that's our thing. That's my thing. But they won gold in in
00:40:45
weightlifting. Oh, weightlifting. Yeah. Yeah. Did they? Yeah. Female weightlifting. And then I think Doarte
00:40:53
bought her like a mansion or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, here you are, Jules. Mhm. Young, single, successful,
00:40:59
fresh out of college. What's the next move for you? Um, citizenship. Yeah, that's L. It's
00:41:07
him on the cart. That's incredible. We We should buy that just for Yeah. Can we
00:41:13
scratch all our money together to do that? Look at how sick that looks. You got the gold card.
00:41:19
Do you really want to be a citizen here? Don't you like leaving? You want to live here forever?
00:41:25
I like staying here, but I don't I don't get why it's so hard to stay here. What
00:41:29
do you mean? It's the best country in the world. We get it, man. You're from
00:41:32
Texas. We get it, dude. What is it? Cuz in the Philippines, there's so many white
00:41:42
people, white old people that just stays there for a long time. But then here, I
00:41:48
can't stay for a long time. Right. Right. It's unfair. It's unfair. So the
00:41:52
whites get to come and do whatever they want and you can't come here and do whatever. Right. Yeah. Well, what's the
00:41:58
Philippines main export? Coconut, [Laughter] right? Some other the Philippines may
00:42:07
exports electronic products part uh particularly integrated circuits. Semiconductors. Okay. Okay. And coconut
00:42:14
oil. Coconut oil. Copper, nickel, gold. Yeah. Office machine parts. That's great. Yeah. Printers. You want to print
00:42:21
something? Oh, yeah. So, I'll probably outside companies set up factories there, right? For sure. Yeah. Yeah. For
00:42:29
sure. So, what's going to what's going to happen to you now that you're single?
00:42:32
Are you going to move back? Cuz you can't stay here. We don't want to hear.
00:42:35
No, I want to stay. No. No. Not with Trump. You can't. Guys, tell her we You
00:42:40
can't stay. You need to join Only Fans to survive. No. Shut the [ __ ] up, man.
00:42:44
Carlos, you're a pig. You're a pig. She's our daughter. Is there a way to
00:42:49
like prove that like I'm okay. I'm an okay Filipino. Yeah. I mean, there is ways to go.
00:42:57
There's a test, isn't there? Yeah, there's an okay Filipino test and we
00:43:00
have it memorizer and I have it memorized. All right, go ahead. Okay. How fast can you climb a tree?
00:43:06
Like really fast. Like All right. Like a minute. A 20 A 20ft tree, right? A palm
00:43:13
tree. How fast can you climb that? Go. Like 2 minutes. Oh, no. There's poop.
00:43:18
There's poop right there. What do you do with it? You eat it. That's right. All
00:43:21
right. That's right. That's right. All right. That's good for two. Yeah. Yeah.
00:43:24
A dwarf with two knives are attacking you. But from the sky, a lady with two knives is attacking you. What do you do?
00:43:30
What do you do? You stab the dwarf. Yes. That's the right crack. Yes. And then
00:43:36
Yes. You just say hi to the Yes. That's how you do it, dude. Because she fell
00:43:42
off a building. That's right. She was cooking something on the 15th floor and
00:43:45
she fell off. Okay. Here comes someone in the village. Hi, Brody. I'm your I'm
00:43:50
your great great great great aunt and you know me. Do you remember me? I need money. What do you do? Shut the [ __ ] up.
00:43:58
All right. All right. Right. It's 3:00 in the morning. You hear a noise. You go outside, right?
00:44:03
And you see a half Filipino man, half wolf, right? And half chicken. All right. So, three halves. Yeah. Three
00:44:11
halves. Everybody has three. Everybody has three halves, right? What do you do? You kill it and you roast it and you eat
00:44:18
it. Yeah. What else do you do? And you you you [ __ ] it. You [ __ ] it. You [ __ ] it. You [ __ ] the human part.
00:44:29
That's very good. You eat the [ __ ] chicken and the [ __ ] wolf part. Pretty easy. Very easy. If you have a
00:44:36
baby, right? It is a wolf baby. That's a wolf baby. Yeah. Yeah. With hair on the face. You know, like Barnum
00:44:43
and Bailey, you know, one of those circus. What? It's a circus. What a circus. What do you do?
00:44:52
You eat it because it's an animal. No. No. That's your kid. No, that's wrong.
00:44:57
No praying mantises do that. No. Propecia. What is that? You give it a hair medication. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no. It makes
00:45:05
that helps hair grow, right? [ __ ] I got it wrong. I think Yeah. So, do you want
00:45:10
to So, I'm being genuine. Do you want to get back on into the dating scene or No,
00:45:15
not right now. You're Yeah. The wounds are too fresh. Yeah. But when you do get
00:45:20
back out, you want to only date women, huh? Not only, but we're What kind of
00:45:25
woman do you want, though? Do you want like a girly girl or like a a girly girl? Girly girl, right? Like who's your
00:45:32
who's your crush? My crush like what female famous person is your crush? Girl
00:45:38
crush. Is it like a girly girl? So it's got to be like is it like a Marggo Robbie? No. Like the girl from The Last
00:45:45
of Us that plays Dena. Who's that? Live that out. He's so pretty. Isabella Mer.
00:45:52
Shut up. Fancy with the [ __ ] with the [ __ ] accent. Isabella Mar. Like she's so pretty. She is. But is that
00:45:59
your style? That's your type. That's what you're looking for? I think so. Not
00:46:03
white. Not white. All right, fans. We get it. Yeah. You have a particular um fear of the white. Yeah. What is your
00:46:10
fear of the white? You have the fear of the white. What is it? Well, I tried white dick and I told you guys that that
00:46:17
was too translucent for me. Yeah. Like I understand. You want to see everything in there,
00:46:26
right? Right. You don't see all the veins, all the inner workings. You want to see how the sausages just want to see
00:46:31
the sausage. You just want to cover, you know? So, so now with women, your favorite kind of woman is like that. And
00:46:39
small. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All the I know. Let me ask you something. Are you still
00:46:43
buzzed? Oh, yeah. I'm buzzing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Can you tell? Yeah. Happy birthday to you.
00:46:52
Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Carlos. Happy birthday to you. Yay. Thanks y'all. How old are you, Carlo?
00:47:13
38. Damn. Yeah. What's in there? Is that a sweet green salad? Yeah, the basic salad. Damn,
00:47:22
dude. So [ __ ] sad. That's your cake. Oh, I mean cake on my actual birthday
00:47:29
was sadder. I played the Indiana Jones game and just hung out with my dog. Who texted you on your birthday? You and
00:47:35
Bob? He did? Mhm. Yes, I did. Did he? He really did. I really did. Did anybody else? Mone called me this morning. Did
00:47:44
Fance Fancy didn't Interesting, dude. Fancy texted me and said, "Is Carlos's
00:47:49
birthday today?" I said it was yesterday. Go ahead. Go ahead, [ __ ] I knew it
00:47:55
was around 4:20. What do you mean you knew it was around? His favorite holiday. So, you didn't know his birthday and
00:48:02
then you just didn't wish him happy birthday? Yeah. Wow. Did you have anything to say for yourself? Yeah. This
00:48:09
is a crew. This is a crew. Disgraced. Jet ski hit me up. Did she? She didn't.
00:48:16
Nice try. Yeah. Nice try. All about herself. belated happy birthday. Oh, [ __ ] off. That doesn't count. Doesn't
00:48:22
count. Who? So, we're playing London. Who's going Who who didn't text you for
00:48:26
your birthday that hurt you the most for real? Like, who didn't acknowledge your
00:48:30
birthday that actually bothered you? Oh, cuz I find for real. Yeah. Because as we
00:48:34
get older, right, Bob? Get Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. As we get older, what are you on Facebook? What are you No, because all
00:48:41
the restaurants are closed. I'm hungry, so I'm ordering it to to get delivered
00:48:43
to my house. You're waiting till now? We had all night to order food. Literally
00:48:48
all night. It's 9:00. It's 9:30. Yeah, but after this podcast, I'm going to go
00:48:52
straight home. It'll be ready for me. Okay. Okay. What's your problem, dude? Continue with
00:48:58
your [ __ ] You're my problem, bud. No. No, bud. And that's that's a strong word
00:49:03
right now, bud. We're not at bud level. I mean, you're acting a little silly
00:49:07
right now, dude. [Laughter] Carlos. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Who didn't text you that bothered you the most? M
00:49:16
probably exes. Like my ex-wife didn't hit me up. Why? Wait, wait. Why would Why would your ex-wife hit you up? Yeah,
00:49:24
just to acknowledge it. And then the girl I dated after who had a boyfriend, she didn't hit me up either cuz she's
00:49:29
engaged now. Well, yeah, bud. And then the other girl also didn't. Yeah, dude.
00:49:34
Outside of exes, because that women, that's tough. Any girl texted you? Yeah,
00:49:39
a couple girls hit me up. Hie. Hy. Yeah, she's hot. Who's Hanny? Who's
00:49:44
Annie? Annie from Miami. What guy? What buddy that what guy friend that you're
00:49:49
good close with didn't hit you on your birthday? It bothers you. I think the
00:49:53
real answer is Andress, but I can't really get mad at Andress. It's this
00:49:58
weird thing. Did Benji text you? I brought you pizza. Yeah, he brought me pizza. Let me ask you something. Did
00:50:02
Benji text you? Benji did not. Was it shocking when I texted you? Yeah, because we had just gotten in a big
00:50:07
fight last week. You guys fought? Oh, man. We've been fighting for weeks. It's
00:50:11
been going on. It's been going on. tested me. What? You never texted me for what? For anything.
00:50:18
Okay. Exactly. I do this all the time. Whenever you talk whenever I call Fancy. Yeah. When he picks up, I go, "This is a
00:50:27
bad idea." I know. Me, too. Hey, Andrew. I'm like, "Never mind. Goodbye." Also,
00:50:31
there's things going on in the background. Like, where are you in a [ __ ] airplane? The guy The guy works
00:50:36
sound like he lives in a factory. Like, what the [ __ ] are you doing over there,
00:50:40
dude? Yeah, he lives in a factory where a baby. What are you doing over there, dude? And the baby's like,
00:50:52
I got to tell you, dude, I don't buy this [ __ ] You and the baby and the wife. That's not real. That's not real,
00:50:59
dude. It's impossible that she likes you. Impossible. Who? The baby or the wife? Both. I think I think it's an
00:51:06
impossibility. So, honestly, Carlos, a few people didn't text you and you're
00:51:10
not and it's okay. You don't have to call them out, but there's a few people
00:51:12
that didn't text you that it bothers you. Yeah. Also, that same person that didn't text me had is going to have a
00:51:18
baby and they didn't tell me. And I was seriously. Yeah. Wow. And I was like,
00:51:22
"Oh, they don't want to tell me." Holy [ __ ] Does that [ __ ] you up? It makes me
00:51:27
feel like I'm being separated from my friends and I'm drifting in space to
00:51:30
Well, let me tell you something. And I'm being honest. Can I be Can I be real?
00:51:35
Yeah. A lot of my friends have kids. There's a thing that happens when you don't have kids where you're not
00:51:41
invited. And honestly, I get it. I get it. You don't want to be invited, dude.
00:51:46
Shut the [ __ ] up. Honestly, honestly, shut the [ __ ] up. But did did Sebastian
00:51:51
ever invite you to his little kid things? No, but that would never be. We're not close. I used to go there.
00:51:56
We're not close like that. Okay. But I'm saying like friends of mine outside of
00:51:59
the business, they have kids and they feel weird not inviting us. And I understand. But there's also a moment of
00:52:06
like like today, like Easter today. Easter Sunday today. I'll come over. I'll come over and do
00:52:12
the thing. I'll do what? Hunt. I want to hunt for Hunt for kids. What are you doing, dude? For eggs? What
00:52:19
is this? Hunger Games? Yeah. I'll go hunt for kids. I'll go have an egg hunt.
00:52:24
Yeah, I'm a fun guy. Not really. Really? Yeah. I mean, there's a thing about Do
00:52:31
it. I know, but in your face you crink your eyes crinkle, right? You do smile, but the cheeks is rage. Have you noticed
00:52:40
that? Yeah. You go like this, right? No, but I but I'm a good uncle. I'm a great
00:52:44
uncle, but it's like I'll come over and do the egg thing. I think people feel
00:52:47
bad about inviting us because they're like, "You don't have kids. We don't
00:52:49
invite you." Oh, yeah. And it feels weird. You You don't get invited. Well,
00:52:52
you don't get invited. Or you know what I hate too is when comics go, "You got
00:52:56
married?" And they go, "Yeah, like last year." How many people K what? Like 500.
00:53:02
And I go I've helped you. You know what I mean? Yeah. You're shocked. I'm
00:53:08
shocked. Like I Dude, I helped your career. I'm because Yeah. It's because
00:53:12
of me. I just I wouldn't go. But I want the invitation. You know what I mean?
00:53:17
Cly invites you. Whatever it says. Why do you want the invitation? You're never
00:53:22
going to go. I've gone to a couple. Whose wedding did you go to? Dr. Sebastian Moscow and Dr. Ken Jang. I
00:53:28
have a question. Yeah. Here we go. Jazz it up. Do you guys ever get ingrown hairs in your balls?
00:53:36
Can I tell you something? It's crazy. This is nuts. I lotion my nuts every day
00:53:41
now because I have eczema, you know, like in your ball like balls. Wait, check this out. You really have eczema, dude.
00:53:49
Check this out. I have eczema all over my body. Stinky [ __ ] dirty [ __ ] No, it's not stinky. It's just It's just
00:53:55
dry skin. It's not good, dude. Okay. Oh my god. Okay, dude. It's dry skin. It's
00:54:00
disgusting, dude. It's what [ __ ] Jeremiah Watkins gets. I had all over his body. I had eczema. This is wild. I
00:54:07
had eczema all over my body one time. Dry skin. I got eczema on my balls. And the doctor
00:54:16
said And the doctor was like, "Just [ __ ] lotion up your balls." Yeah, but
00:54:20
I do lotion my balls. I lotion my balls every day. Yeah. Now I over lotion my balls. Yeah, I have
00:54:27
pores on my balls that you know me. No, I'm serious. I over lotion my balls now.
00:54:31
Okay. Do you guys put lotion on your nuts? Never. Dude, your butthole is so ugly. Why? It's just one of the ugliest
00:54:38
buttholes I've ever seen. Look who's talking. Yeah, two. Part two is my favorite one. Look who's talking part
00:54:43
two. Yeah. Wait, why do you ask that? Because I I just got my first ingrown and it's like a big cyst. Oh, it's so
00:54:53
painful on your konchito. Oh, yeah. Don't call that that. What is that? Oh, you got an ingrown hair. Yeah. It's so
00:55:02
painful. Gross. Cuz I didn't exfoliate right once like before your shave. Yeah.
00:55:09
Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to hear about it. It's disgusting, dude. That's
00:55:12
disgusting. You know what? And I was looking for advice for you guys if how to Okay,
00:55:18
here's the deal. I'll tell you. Bobby could tell you. Bobby and I both know to
00:55:22
deal with ingrown hairs, you got to use uh witch hazel. Witch hazel. Look this up. I'm not kidding. Yeah. Yeah. Look up
00:55:31
witch hazel. Look for people at home. Witch hazel is a great ingredient you can put on everything. It reduces
00:55:38
inflammation. Right, Los? Look it up. There it is. Yep. Tux cooling pads with witch hazel. This looks nice. Yeah. It's
00:55:46
got uh protects from irritation, hemorrhoids, and other problems. Talks, man. Yeah. Anyway, thank you for being a
00:55:56
bad friend. I mean, what the [ __ ] [Music] Yeah. Woo. Yeah. Woo. [Music]