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Rudy's Replacement | Ep 60 | Bad Friends

April 12, 2021 / 01:11:18

This episode covers new merch, upcoming tour dates, and various comedic discussions involving guests Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee. Topics include a stabbing incident at UC Davis, a humorous take on a cheese pie, and auditions for a new podcast co-host.

Andrew Santino announces new merchandise available at badfriendsmerch.com and shares his upcoming tour schedule, including stops in Addison, Houston, Madison, and Boston. He humorously interacts with Bobby Lee about their comedic dynamic.

The conversation shifts to a recent stabbing incident at UC Davis, where a woman was attacked, prompting jokes about crime and safety. The hosts discuss their experiences with pets, including a story about a dog that mysteriously appeared.

Later, they taste-test a cheese pie brought by a new character, Pete, leading to amusing commentary about the combination of cheese and pie. The hosts also review audition tapes for potential replacements for Rudy, showcasing various candidates and their comedic qualities.

The episode concludes with a light-hearted discussion about the entertainment industry, including thoughts on remakes and sequels, and the challenges of maintaining creativity in comedy.

TL;DR

New merch, tour dates, and comedic auditions for a podcast co-host are discussed.

Episode

1:11:18
00:00:01
hey everybody great news great news we've got new merch new merch
00:00:06
new shirts baby the new shirts uh they were compiled by uh rudy jules saying uh that we're in a band together because
00:00:12
we're in uh this is the best bad friends band of all time so they're right there they're right point in the middle of us i think there
00:00:18
they are there they are go to badfriendsmerch.com to get them badfriendsmerch.com uh also i'm on tour come see me
00:00:24
andrewsantino.com for tickets i am uh i'm gonna be in addison and
00:00:30
houston and madison and boston uh just go to anderson.com for tickets and check that out you two are bad friends who are these
00:00:37
two idiots white dude i'm an asian dude you two are disgusting oh you two or something
00:00:45
we're bad friends if you go to school up north you're not going to be here yeah so then what no she's you know i
00:00:52
might well i live with her right so every day i'm wearing her down oh yeah
00:00:57
you see davis so far it's rape it's a lot of rape going on did you hear about all the crime that they've just had they
00:01:02
had that woman andreas didn't that woman get stabbed in the eye coming out of like a both eyes both eyes just out of a with a penis
00:01:09
yeah with a pink yeah yeah it's unbelievable what's going on up there
00:01:14
stabbed stabbing at uc davis uh there it is yeah ch charges issued campus stabbing uc
00:01:20
davis you think you think that lady in new york in that old age that filipino lady got attacked right in uc davis
00:01:27
they like they like they like skinning the young oh yeah you're done you are done there's a whole um a
00:01:34
filipino girl skin trading um underground uh yeah black market yeah on bitcoin people are using bitcoin to buy
00:01:40
filipino skin yeah it's disgusting [ __ ] auntie kalila
00:01:46
i'm here i'm your uncle all right now listen to me all right you're not going nowhere by
00:01:52
the way yeah what is she training you to fight fight back wow
00:01:58
really no he's um she's gonna sign me up for uh you have the body of jiminy cricket what
00:02:03
are you gonna do what are you gonna do
00:02:08
little green cartoon arms flex your arms no pull your shirt so we can see oh my god it's skin bone and that's it
00:02:15
yeah no blood and the skin kind of like hangs on the bone yeah yeah there is no that's you right there
00:02:27
can we get her an umbrella can we get her a purple umbrella do you know who that is by the way from
00:02:34
pinocchio wow what dude bro i don't know if they have tv over
00:02:42
there she's not mentally you know don't they just watch like [ __ ] fights what do you guys do when you go on at night they watch us live
00:02:48
on tv there's no tv that's right that's right that's live yeah yeah from pachocchio yeah but look pinocchio's down there so that
00:02:54
was you saw that at the bottom didn't you no sure which one of the dwarves uh did you
00:02:59
watch all the disney movies i don't know which one of the dwarves would she be of the of the dwarves
00:03:05
if we were the dwarf if this was 100 sleepy sleepy for sure bro bro oh my god bro last night
00:03:13
so i'm using her printer she's sleeping downstairs because we're remodeling upstairs no no we've got dogs
00:03:20
again more dogs so we have we had one dog yesterday this morning that dog mr bank he's gone he died no no he
00:03:27
didn't die well i don't know what happened but but the
00:03:34
then i take a nap i wake up right and then guess what's there three puppies well
00:03:40
i'm picking a nap that happened where do you guys get these dogs do you have no idea i thi kaleido it's a lot of
00:03:45
um she's like if you see auntie one more time yeah he's sick of that yeah yeah this is not tv
00:03:51
dude you guys are the dogs it's like the bag lady you know the old crazy bag lady who has like tons of
00:03:56
it's like turning into a dog bag lady we want to see help i know
00:04:02
so anyway last night right it's like i don't know two in the morning right yeah she just went to bed at 2 am right
00:04:09
just go to bed she's sleeping downstairs because we have mr big and i there's no more ink in the printer
00:04:14
and i i go i don't want to i'm not gonna be able to she goes wake her up see where the ink is so i go downstairs she's on the
00:04:21
couch jewels jewels jewels jewels jewels jewels i mean i'm not kidding you
00:04:28
three minutes okay she does not wake up
00:04:35
what is your problem she does she doesn't know you have a sleeping problem no it is honestly i can't wake up to my
00:04:41
alarm yeah remember like the alarms i know you need you really do need to go consult
00:04:46
someone about that no we do what if something really real happens and you you they need you to wake up for what if what if an
00:04:52
earthquake happens and all the walls are falling down you're just gonna you guys aren't gonna get in every
00:04:57
disaster movie she's the one that dies yeah she's like uh day after tomorrow right mm-hmm she's right
00:05:03
when new york's flooded yeah right she's just with the cabs you know floating cabs and she's she's next
00:05:23
lava slowly engulfing everyone and ash right and you would think that once the lava hit her toes no she would wake up
00:05:28
no no she's halfway in lava and she also opened her eyes and then finally when he gets to here she's like
00:05:34
yeah yeah the meteor is already in deep impact meteor is already on her yeah yeah oh my
00:05:41
gosh in the mushroom cloud sleeping well we got to get you some help and uh by the way you might get replaced on the show if you can't commit
00:05:47
what's the nearest school that said yes
00:06:05
university of riverside you see rivers clinton oh fullerton that's not far either that's down south that's that's orange county right yeah
00:06:12
you don't know why am i asking is that is that close fullerton is in orange county i'm almost positive pulling up on the thing we're hour and a
00:06:18
half drive easy yeah but how is she gonna she can drive we'll send her a car or something we'll get her we have to
00:06:24
figure it out or we can make we can make uh we can make uh uh dress to it look at andres already
00:06:29
huh pete actually you know what uh uh fancy b brings up a good point pete is the new rookie in town yeah we
00:06:36
should make pete go get her right i mean what who what is pete not honestly not a clue
00:06:41
that'd be how did because he just pete just kind of like showed up one day this is his peep hey
00:06:48
[Laughter] he's on the computer right now like do
00:06:55
they like me pete we like you very much yeah something for you guys again he has something again for us oh pete
00:07:01
what have you got you know what this this relationship is like of mice and men [Laughter]
00:07:08
[Applause] i got you something lenny what is this thank you very much pete
00:07:14
thank you so much pete what is this it's not even [ __ ] melted hey hey hey be nice be nice what is this
00:07:21
pete oh it's the cheese pie we talked about yeah yeah
00:07:26
okay well let's try it how long has this been sitting out i i don't know if it's it's sitting out it's hard as a rock hard as a rock i want to taste it
00:07:33
because i've never done cheese on pie i can't do it come on come on bob you ate my pubes oh that's right right i
00:07:39
think this is not that big of a deal all right here this is this shout out to my boy jake lacy who told me about this from who's from the northeast and
00:07:45
said cheese on pie is legit cheddar cheese on apple pie i get it you do already right i get it i
00:07:51
get it i don't want another one but i get it i do get it i get it yeah you can get it
00:07:58
oh if it was hot oh if it was piping hot piping hot and melted on there i get it i would 100 get it
00:08:03
are you liking the jewels yeah it's good huh yeah pete thank you
00:08:09
pete that's interesting so what what kind of cheese is the best cheese well that's cheddar right sharp cheddar
00:08:14
what cheddar is no that's what they say you use you have to use chopped sharp cheddar yeah right yeah cheddar cheese
00:08:19
you can't you they say if you use other cheese it just doesn't do it doesn't do the thing it doesn't like swiss wouldn't taste
00:08:25
good on here right yeah you try it though we should do it yeah we'll get swiss next week can you take this away uh lenny
00:08:31
[Laughter]
00:08:36
wanna hold the mice i love you pete thank you so much pete
00:08:42
what are you by the way you're full white right you're nothing else i can't see behind the mask okay sicilian so he's what region the
00:08:48
[ __ ] the manga she wants to finish hers leave her yeah she's going to eat it
00:08:57
she's so mean but look at him because when i walk in here i usually just with his big fingers
00:09:05
yeah do you have an extra a big keyboard for your hands he's got he's got just gigantic hands stretch is
00:09:12
so amazing what did he say andres we can't hear him yeah he said yes oh okay okay right yeah right on well
00:09:18
thank you pete thank you for the pie pete peter rude so listen we're gonna we're gonna
00:09:24
huff you up here from fullerton but i'm hoping it's in long beach because that's not that far long beach is just as easy it's like 28
00:09:29
minutes away but if you decide to go up north to school you're going to get replaced and we've already
00:09:35
fished out andres spent some time fishing out rudy replacements are you ready to see who might replace you
00:09:40
yeah all right let's check it out let's see what they've got for the rudy replay by the way we don't want this we should make this clear this is what i do not want
00:09:48
because it's like you know it's lightning in the bottle it's it's it's it's one in a million 100 because the
00:09:54
reason why jules was on this in the first place she didn't want to come no no kalila was
00:10:00
like my girlfriend was like she's just gotta get out of the house and do something you know and just like and it's gonna get her out of her shell
00:10:06
she's shy she's super shy girl right not anymore you're not so she she reluctantly came here yeah yeah and
00:10:13
she would dread every week for a while yeah the first 15 episodes just dreading it you hated
00:10:19
it huh really yeah yeah i didn't want to talk so yeah yeah how do you feel now about talking
00:10:26
it's more okay yeah it's more okay right oh my god
00:10:31
so ungrateful it's more okay you have a 70 000 instagram followers no
00:10:38
how many 57 whatever yeah look at her face yeah why because
00:10:43
of that because that's that's right and that's why and fancy
00:10:51
but definitely not pete just know that fancy for sure definitely not pete and george has his baby now right his baby's out
00:10:57
yes and andre said and i'm gonna i'm gonna call out andres right now he said some [ __ ] before you guys came i'm gonna call out what you said
00:11:04
he goes uh i was surprised that baby was cute
00:11:10
verbatim pretty cute and it's so funny because the baby was born and then you know i didn't do it i mean
00:11:15
i heard it sure i don't know how i heard it yeah the baby's born i was like oh it's like you didn't register
00:11:20
i just went about my day play games yeah life goes on eight hours later i'm at the dinner table she goes did you
00:11:26
so what did you talk to george she talked to what do you say i didn't talk to george why would i she's like
00:11:31
you what kind of human being are you nothing what did i do i called him when he was in the hospital did you call him
00:11:38
no no did you call him just congratulate him i texted him about a work thing and then don't be real you haven't i'll
00:11:45
show all of them congratulated him no [ __ ] no that's [ __ ] weird oh big deal it's just george i know i know that's how i felt about it
00:11:52
so then then i had to make the call and he picks up he goes hello you're surprised that i called here hold on you
00:11:57
can read this hey look at this yeah let me read it let me read it
00:12:02
look wednesday read what it says on wednesday so wednesday what's up with the ads on
00:12:09
anchor that's what i said yeah what's up with that because i'm like what is it yeah yeah it no no read right below it you'll see
00:12:15
what he says i go what's up with the ads on egg because i'm trying to figure out what's going on this is exactly hey my wife's water broke this morning
00:12:22
so we're at kaiser now but bryce can answer anything then you go congrats
00:12:27
[Laughter] like a [ __ ] [ __ ] congrats i guess yeah yeah i don't [ __ ] care congrats to george
00:12:35
we do love him so very much i'm very happy for him but i was like i go you know so what's it like
00:12:42
like i didn't know what to you know i mean well what do you what what are you supposed what are guys supposed to say to other guys when they to me
00:12:49
girls it's a thing with weddings and babies and girls are like oh my god but a guy is always like cool yeah well
00:12:54
because once you get certain amount of information like the baby's here it's healthy and i ask is it alive yeah it's alive and she goes
00:13:02
it's alive is it fine yep then there's no need to call okay goodbye yeah i have all the
00:13:07
information i need right after the because it becomes a little bit more
00:13:13
you know i almost say this word but gay yeah sure i don't know how but it does i guess it feels gay
00:13:20
it feels gay to go you know what i mean what's the point so how was your feeling what are you feeling how much would you ask another how much hair does it happen
00:13:26
yeah what does it look like yeah what does it look like you know how i asked some stupid question like um so you know was
00:13:32
it everything that you ever dreamed of like i don't do you don't well you hate babies yeah
00:13:38
what did you say to george about george's baby do you say anything to him i didn't say anything good for you good friend that's the
00:13:44
route we should have taken yeah that's on brand yeah when he said my wife's water broke and we're at the hospital i should have
00:13:49
blocked his number yeah we'll just delete it as [ __ ] information that's it i don't need him anymore he's out of my life
00:13:55
congratulations to george and their new brand new baby what's the name can we say the name nobody knows it's a boy it's a boy right wait did you
00:14:02
just hear he's oh my god andres no no he has to be that are you making it up it has to be george because of the fact
00:14:08
that um it's george the fifth remember because he's the fourth no is it is he the fifth george is the
00:14:13
fourth he is the son the baby's the fifth yes oh it has it's it's a it's a part of the lineage see this is the
00:14:20
thing about whites that i don't like i hate whites we that's a white thing to do they don't do that and they don't do
00:14:25
that anywhere else in the world my dad's name is bobby that's right robert yeah but that's
00:14:32
because of your descendants of robert e lee the great general that we love so much that's the weirdest
00:14:37
thing in the world though yeah why did you do a white thing why did he do that like i'm not if i had a baby
00:14:42
i would name it because now you would never name your kid no you can go more how do i say this you
00:14:48
can go more black with it what would your black baby be you could say whatever and i would say something that's never been said
00:14:54
nitrous or nitrous is tight yeah yeah yeah that's a cool name or um guava i don't know ooh guava is
00:15:01
really good yeah come here guava yeah guava lee metaphor not metaphor metaphysical
00:15:08
metaphysically yeah that's pretty good i think guava lea is so sick i'm not even kidding at all sharp i'm
00:15:14
gonna name my kid you could do whatever sharp santino come here you could just make a note come here what's how
00:15:23
i want to see these rooty kids yeah so let's let's just see some of the others let's see the videos videos uh and i'm going to temper my
00:15:29
expectations on that but you're because they're replacing you yeah get in we bought her a [ __ ] mic
00:15:36
and it goes right to your face it's sleepy listen jules yes you have to vote you have to figure
00:15:42
out you have to right yeah versus replacing so pay attention pay attention all right here we go
00:15:48
hi tito bobby hi cheeto andrew and of course the rest of the bat friend's crew andres rudy of course including the
00:15:56
other guy i'm not gonna mention because why the [ __ ] would i okay
00:16:02
okay props well anyway this is not really on addition but more of a plea to allow me to replace rudy on the bad
00:16:08
friends podcast interesting little leader i think i'd be a wonderful addition i'm very frail looking look at this
00:16:15
wrist i do like skinny frail people that's funny pound over 90.
00:16:20
um also i have an indent in my chest so that kind of makes me a freak like both tito bobby and tito andrew cool
00:16:26
andrew of course who's a ginger and tito bobby who that's you kissing my ball yeah you know
00:16:34
but um oh my name's peter i forgot to say that oh yuck we already got one let's open
00:16:40
with one please i'll do anything bobby oh [Laughter]
00:16:47
dumpling okay we can't say anything you you're i'm sorry you have to this is on you so
00:16:54
that's one all right let's get uh what your opinion so far oh yeah he was funny okay thanks for that in-depth interview
00:17:01
oh my god it's like it's honestly it's like pulling [ __ ] molars yeah it's so hard to get anything out of her
00:17:06
sometimes you should do a ted talk yeah with the kind of information here we go wait let's wait one second
00:17:13
though one second yeah honestly if he's interviewing for you you're the [ __ ] ceo of rudy
00:17:19
enterprise this guy comes in for a job he just interviewed what do you say um
00:17:27
it's good to know you you were really funny
00:17:32
we can't replace it no no no no no this is insane yeah cause it's never gonna you wouldn't even answer it that way i know that's like a clever
00:17:37
that's her own brand yeah i mean less is more or less more less is more with her yeah
00:17:42
all right let's see this girl with too many air conditioning units behind her let's go hey i'm savannah i'm 20 years old i know
00:17:50
that i'm a white girl but i'm also gay so i think that even things okay we do okay i'm actually being held
00:17:57
hostage by the entire state of utah mormons may seem nice but they're really
00:18:03
scary especially when you're gay anyway as soon as possible that would be
00:18:09
great my brothers want me to apply because apparently i am
00:18:14
the worst friend on the entire planet
00:18:20
i think that i would be a great contender for a bad friend yeah because i'm short fat and korean
00:18:27
and i sleep in until three of you she's the [ __ ] yeah i like her oh sorry
00:18:33
i shouldn't we're voicing our opinions no i like her she's awesome okay so but she by the way she has knives in
00:18:39
the background which i love look at the knife connection yeah put her so for the ones that we really like why don't we put them aside
00:18:44
or mark them or something savannah's her name yeah she's [ __ ] great and by the way a white gay woman on here
00:18:51
that'd be great that'd be great yeah but she's missing the innocence we no she's in utah she's yeah but
00:18:58
there's a couple wally about her that's kind of like almost as if that's irreplaceable no we could maybe find it well we'd have to
00:19:04
buy another filipino off the internet i don't know we have to like go running for 59.95
00:19:10
get your get your own custom filipino today 49.99 two easy payments plus shipping and handling we would by
00:19:17
the way we wouldn't pay for the uh upgraded shipping for that would we just get the the regular the boat all
00:19:22
right uh who else is on there i think that i think a girl girls are preferable to a place a girl we don't need another dude oh a little
00:19:28
all right look at this guy all right look at this guy cute hi bad friends my name's anthony
00:19:34
i'm 19 and i have what it takes to be the next rudy i live in l.a i live in wisconsin i don't live in la i have a lot of mental
00:19:40
trauma and i i love you guys and i have a lot of traits that two men would want
00:19:46
in a woman andrew santino you totally forgot you had a show on
00:19:51
wisconsin last week and you said oh i've got shows in salt lake city and boston
00:19:56
but i forgot the other one and that was wisconsin unfortunately so i got my tickets refunded because you do
00:20:02
not care about your fans now you guys are going in a microwave [Laughter]
00:20:09
all right goodbye [Music] they ruin his phone just for the bit
00:20:15
that's great wow wow good for that who's that with that kid anthony very good really good
00:20:21
i like his distorted matt damon what do you think i like him but he seems aggressive all right that's good
00:20:29
perfect you read that that's good honestly please take notes next to it that says i i like but aggressive actually rename it
00:20:36
rename the file anthony in parentheses i like but aggressive i need to have her quotes on the files
00:20:42
i like but aggressive and then what did you say about let's mark for first guy peter what did you think about the first guy again what was your instinct with
00:20:47
him he's funny he's funny great that's all we need to say he's funny and savannah number two the girl that we
00:20:53
just had what do we say about her i like her i shouted i like her i and right please write i shouted
00:20:58
i like her very good well dude so far we got three good candidates and the guy who really [ __ ] keep it going keep it going i'll
00:21:06
tell you why though that guy's good he didn't really ruin the phone no does he cut early yeah right so they made a
00:21:11
sound effect later i think it was great yeah it was really good very smart okay all right here we go another lady
00:21:19
bad friends it's gianna from texas for like the third time oh yeah we know her masks
00:21:24
orangutan tip i'll definitely love to be a temporary broody for you
00:21:30
guys until you find the rudy that you love have someone on that will make you laugh
00:21:37
she's you know what's great about something about her that's very like perfect for us because she doesn't give a [ __ ] i love how how
00:21:44
little she gives up yeah she's she was do she's like running errands what do you say about her she's very
00:21:52
warm i like her presence okay she also are very warm i like her
00:21:59
somebody to look there i look at their own breasts and go yeah they're orangutan that's what she said to us she's like i got orangutan that's cool
00:22:05
she's the [ __ ] yeah yeah i like her very much i don't even know what orangutan tits look like sure you do i know
00:22:14
let me tell you something about helix sleep andrew yep uh my brother um about 20 years ago i bought him a mattress at ikea
00:22:20
and he slept on that mattress for 20 years 20 years yeah yeah and it was slanted there was like um
00:22:26
bugs in it yeah bed bugs bed bugs yeah and my brother couldn't sleep well so i've got him a helix sleep yeah every single day he'll text me and
00:22:33
go or call me and go thank you so much it's like i'm sleeping in heaven that's amazing
00:22:39
it really is no they are so nice that's so nice well here's what's annoying about helix sleep i have one in the house in the guest bedroom and when
00:22:44
people come over it's more comfortable than our bed that we had in our room so then we had to get another one
00:22:49
yeah everybody's unique right you're unique you're red and weird looking right orange but yeah yeah and helix knows that so they have several
00:22:55
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00:23:01
if you sleep hot and even a helix plus mattress for plus size folks like you helix sleep has a quiz that
00:23:07
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00:23:15
because it feels so nice because i don't like super soft mattresses and uh we have the perfect one
00:23:23
like a quick quiz yeah that's what it is a simple quiz yeah they send you the perfect mattress for your body even for plus size guys
00:23:30
like me like you helix is awesome you don't need to take our word for it they were awarded the number one overall mattress pick of 2020 by gq
00:23:36
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00:23:42
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00:23:47
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00:23:59
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00:24:07
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00:24:13
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00:24:20
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00:24:26
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00:24:38
they're good people oh that's pretty awesome and the new hydration multiplier plus uh has vitamin c and it boosts your
00:24:43
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00:24:48
yeah there's i've you know i love flavors yeah this has the best flavor it does have the best flavors if you're sick of
00:24:54
just drinking regular tap water juice it up with some liquid iv make it feel
00:25:00
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00:25:06
cellular transport technology yeah pretty good that's like from blade runner stuff and check this out i know bob loves this
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00:25:38
here's uh nathan i'm auditioning for rudy on the bad guys podcast because
00:25:46
a good uh replacement you know like i'm filipino i like knives i like anime as well
00:25:53
i'm not quiet though so if you want okay
00:26:02
give me a call well i get it and i love you yeah what do you say rude he's very
00:26:09
honest he's very honest very honest man you're so descriptive yeah i mean she should prefer
00:26:17
like a company that like describes things on like for you know i mean like on food does descriptions of yeah yeah
00:26:25
imagine if she worked at an advertising agency yeah and they were like rudy how's that drink and she's like it's warm and i like liquid
00:26:32
perfect well you're in all right let's get another woman let's get another lady is there another lady i mean i think
00:26:38
ladies would work because here's the problem you and i you're very alpha melly correct
00:26:43
yeah you know what i mean i'm i'm a cross between both you're i can be innocent and like being
00:26:49
the victim but i can also be no yes i'm sorry i do a victim thing no the best you're the best yeah i'm very
00:26:55
victim like i'm poor but then i can also go real alpha million attack and me and be
00:27:00
aggressive 100 so i'm between so we're both you know we need somebody that's why she works is because she has none of
00:27:08
that all right this is uh who is this this is billy all right let's see
00:27:14
billy hi uh this is my audition for the i want to be rudy thing that you posted um i'm not sure how these go or what
00:27:21
you're supposed to say in them i'm not an actress or anything but my name's billy and um i'm half
00:27:27
colombian i was born in venezuela though i grew up in indonesia i don't know what you're supposed to talk about in these
00:27:33
things um yeah i love the show i started watching it probably about
00:27:39
six months ago or something like that and only recently heard about bobby lee and andrew santino probably about a year
00:27:44
and a half ago or something and i just love the show i think it's great and i'd love to be a part of it
00:27:49
and um yeah i don't know what else to talk about but if you uh need any more information you can get in touch with me
00:27:56
and yeah you know what you know what i want to say the only person that would match her
00:28:02
innocence so far i think she's the best she's so far the best she's so innocent so sweet and normal she's sincere
00:28:08
and authentic and you can tell that she's a little scared and a little scary she doesn't really know what's going i really like her a lot do
00:28:14
you honestly she's the best rudy likes her son put that down she's the best she's the best
00:28:20
yeah something about her was so honestly and innocent and like she honestly she
00:28:25
was like i don't know i don't i think she and i think in the middle of the filming she was like i don't even know if i want to
00:28:31
do this right that's kind of why i don't know how she i like those i don't know how this goes yeah that's great i mean billy you're
00:28:38
you're in the front according to rude she's number one right now number one any more women any more girls how many more women
00:28:46
jazz let's just look at the women sure okay um okay all right already the look is
00:28:52
there i mean okay hi andrew hi bobby hi rudy and everybody had bad
00:28:59
friends okay before i begin my audition tape i actually wanted to take the time and tell you guys that
00:29:05
i did create a jingle this was a couple weeks ago for bad friends it's not perfect yet but
00:29:12
i do want to just you know sing it for you guys and i hope that you guys like oh cool
00:29:18
hey everybody thanks for listening we like being funny and laughing all the
00:29:24
way here we got andrew and tito bobby don't forget about jules she's quiet but
00:29:29
naughty but anyways we'll see you next week thank you for being a bad
00:29:36
friend wow um but anyways my name is jasmine and i am
00:29:43
27 years old and i am from new jersey i don't currently live in california but it's always been a dream of mine to live
00:29:50
in la just because i've always wanted to work in the entertainment space verbally in music but you know anything
00:29:56
along those lines just so i could work my way up you know and learn about the industry the backbone you know everything that goes
00:30:03
with it i do have two degrees i have a bachelor's and a master's in
00:30:08
communications i learn everything with marketing social media broadcasting and public relations
00:30:14
i am a freelance social media manager um
00:30:20
okay [Music]
00:30:35
i want to go to the end i want to go to the end okay we're going to oh no no no no no no no
00:30:42
just play it all the way through i want to listen to the whole thing okay i hope to hear from you guys bye bye bye
00:30:52
first of all number one first of all first of all the song was amazing dope right that was dope she's a
00:30:58
go-getter big time she wants it go get her
00:31:04
um i feel like someone like this honestly is not a rudy but also is very
00:31:09
like she's someone that could be on the bad friends team i don't know she could replace some other people i
00:31:14
know you talking about fans yeah some other people fancy yeah honestly i want you to sing kind of what
00:31:21
she said so you know as close as you can okay you are funny and tito andrew not
00:31:29
so fun i like working at best friends
00:31:34
a lot it's good enough the lyrics are great the lyrics sorry how many how many do we
00:31:39
have one more girl right we have one more girl yeah the lyrics are great by the way i love
00:31:45
that whatever that is that's a tapestry of history hi hi hi bobby santina hey fancy b
00:31:54
rudy jules and the one that shall not be named that's right my name is mia seals and i'm 22 years
00:32:00
old i just graduated with an art degree get closer to mike i i think this is
00:32:07
good oh okay although i do not eat foreign festivals a day i do like attack on titan
00:32:19
[Laughter] prison no but that's a the thing is that
00:32:27
i'm a young female i can do the job oh she's cool she's good i like her
00:32:33
she's cool because you could tell she's a fan what are you saying because you talked about slating once you know she slayed it right right
00:32:39
what did you what do you say rude i feel like she's the top two okay top two write it down i feel like
00:32:44
she's a top two two by the way we didn't we didn't even have rudy comment uh and i apologize about jasmine what did we say about jasmine
00:32:50
again what did we say about her she's very sweet but her speech was very long
00:32:57
right that down is very sweet but very long so would you say um is there any guys
00:33:04
looking worth looking at have you seen the videos right is there a guy that's worth looking at and they're all worth looking at
00:33:10
obviously well there's just too many is what you mean oh boy oh already no well i already already know all right okay
00:33:22
tito that's a great video dude dude can we
00:33:29
give that guy a gig whatever it is that's so good that's good that's all he did that's all he did
00:33:36
play that again that's so [ __ ] good dude that guy knocked it out of the [ __ ] park simple
00:33:41
less is more
00:33:50
yes bro i gotta tell you what you think he's funny he's funny thanks jules
00:33:58
oh my god today is there another one he's funny honestly he's really good
00:34:08
every time i now i read a name i just do it with the philippines joseph tito bobby articula said you can't go out
00:34:16
because it called it you know raining can't go to starbucks
00:34:22
but you know um go close to the mic
00:34:30
i like anime um because they got cute eyes and
00:34:37
they're petite well but tito tito bobby oh come on man
00:34:46
would
00:34:57
no come on don't don't leave bad friends oh filipino
00:35:05
[Laughter]
00:35:20
do you understand his language yeah what do you say he just said um it's bad friends don't leave
00:35:27
and it's it's lobby he's funny andre is funny what was the last part we said come on
00:35:33
he said [ __ ] oh [ __ ] wait wait
00:35:38
putanima putang ina putangina ima ena
00:35:53
yeah can i say that now yeah that's [ __ ] cool i'm gonna write it down actually
00:35:59
yeah but i'll do it later you can i live with you so so of all these people so far i
00:36:05
guess what we've come to is you like uh billy billy's number one okay so maybe we'll
00:36:11
have to reach out and do like a zoom with billy and see if maybe she qualifies uh oh by
00:36:16
the way george lopez says hi hey what's up george he did okay hi hey what's up yeah yeah uh how that was uh oh right you did
00:36:23
the cast that's true no what would he cast he did him he did tiger belly yeah he did the podcast yeah he's the kid yeah uh uh let me ask one
00:36:31
real question about george w was he early way early yeah well how do you know he's notoriously
00:36:39
prompt is the way i'll say it no i well really because he was like we were like i was smoking outside no
00:36:45
shirt on i was in my balcony i'm like oh we have 20 minutes he's not going to be i've heard that he is remarkably sharp
00:36:50
and he was right there yeah in my driveway yeah what's up bro i think he takes things very serious in the business in that
00:36:55
regard that's why dude that's a marking of someone that i see that's been in the game for a long time that's good at what they do
00:37:01
they're it's like steve harvey where you're like oh this [ __ ] they have this old school
00:37:07
professionalism yes dude right because i remember when i was um in the late 90s yeah the first time i
00:37:13
opened for somebody i was in it was going to i was going to texas i think i was opening for paulie in addison or something right yeah and i
00:37:19
was taking a flight and george lopez was in the middle seat of a southwestern
00:37:25
airline i'd already seen him on arsenio and i was thinking to myself wow he's not in first class he's sitting
00:37:30
middle seat and what a work ethic oh my dude what a work ethic and then every time i would go on the road he was
00:37:36
always somewhere yeah working somewhere but those guys finding it out there you said it the professionalism of that
00:37:43
generation is [ __ ] unmatched those guys were just the top tits because they knew
00:37:50
there's so much competition back then now people can make their own work yeah i find it to be a far more
00:37:57
difficult now do you think or no well here's the thing i think there were so few jobs back then that you had to be so good and so on
00:38:04
your [ __ ] right where now we make our own like this is our own show well in the 80s it's just different but
00:38:11
in the eight okay first of all in the 80s there was never a boom like there was
00:38:16
in the late 70s and 80s sure in the 80s of like every city five or
00:38:22
six comedy clubs would spring up yeah i was like and everyone's grandmother was doing it and mother
00:38:27
everyone was doing it when you started how many people when you okay i grew up
00:38:33
i started what they called the dark ages in 90 95 five yeah when you started it was dog [ __ ]
00:38:40
everyone had dropped out the clubs had all failed the clubs were closing nobody was doing it anymore it wasn't like the cool thing
00:38:45
to do right and so i'm lucky in this way a sense that like you know it was um the people that were
00:38:52
doing it were the ones that were really doing like should be doing it or the ones that were like survivalists
00:38:57
like they were gonna because people would go you're doing stand-up comedy why right what a nightmare yeah yeah right
00:39:02
terrible but but that generation that that his generation that made it through all that [ __ ] too
00:39:08
i mean because they had to go from things are great to oh my god dark ages and now they're back up again yeah and his um you know he's just
00:39:16
he's just an he was very nice you know he's just smart he didn't say hi i know he didn't he's a
00:39:21
smart dude he's a smart dude he's very funny yeah uh and it's that generation of guy
00:39:27
that i do think i respect very much about what they what they did for the game and honestly it's up to us to do that for
00:39:32
the next because it's not the thing is changing dude i mean did you see i wanted to be so supportive but coming
00:39:39
to america too i did not watch it i did see the i did see it on my netflix or whatever what is
00:39:44
on hp i don't know amazon but there was this is it is it amazon yeah and you want to root for it right no i
00:39:50
don't because our friends are in it no you just kind of want to root for because it's comedy no i don't
00:39:56
i disagree i don't like sequels in that regard i think it's like leave those things alone i've always been that way i'm like why
00:40:01
did you why we don't all right but that's why i saw it no i didn't need dumb and dumber again i don't know
00:40:07
all right daddy shack animal house again leave these things
00:40:13
alone i know leave them again i know all right so you support it but but we have friends that are in it so which is yeah i have
00:40:19
so many people that i don't know very nice but i couldn't get through this the opening in the opening right is it
00:40:25
bad oh my god it's that bad it's like so what's the [ __ ] mcdonald's mcdowell's
00:40:31
mcdonald's so i don't know what what's the country that eddie murphy's character comes from
00:40:38
is it a african country that's like it's it's zamunda yeah right yeah so now there's a mcdowell's
00:40:45
in jamaica very funny i like that right so there's a scene where you know um eddie murphy you know
00:40:53
arsenio hall's character yeah they're all at mcdowells yeah and it's shot in a weird way where it's like
00:40:59
basically it's a wide shot essentially right and you have you know the main cast but then you have
00:41:04
people around them staying around them and everyone says something but louis anderson's there
00:41:10
love who like because he was in the first movie he worked at mcdonald's yeah in chicago or wherever it might have been
00:41:15
right he was the mop boy at mcdonald's right so now he lives in zamunda everyone's there because he's a
00:41:20
you know louie's doing great yeah it is
00:41:26
say if i i i wanted to take my ipad i was watching on my ipad
00:41:33
yeah lay it down on my hard wooden floor or put it in a microwave put my anus against your meat the screen
00:41:40
and just [ __ ] your way through it yeah it was that bad really not one joke made
00:41:47
you laugh it just it just the whole thing made me cringe
00:41:52
but okay to be honest was it because of the reminiscent of how much you liked the original or was it because it was just
00:41:57
it just didn't seem right it's almost as if like um we were living in a different
00:42:03
dimension right like i was like some evil dimension right right and like i was like tied to
00:42:10
like a chair made out of meat carcasses you know what i mean and there were like eyeballs flying by
00:42:17
with wings right right and like you know i open i see my hands and there's teeth like right and i'm being right right and
00:42:25
there's like a fat lady that's slimy right with like a two forks sticking out of her eyes right
00:42:32
right right yeah and then they and the lady with the forks right she comes and gives me the ipad
00:42:37
and shows me the scene and i'm in this meat carcass see i mean that's what it felt like like it
00:42:44
was a nightmare by the way that's the best movie review i've ever heard in my life
00:42:49
shift station oh my god i love ship station i'll tell you why we use it here at bad friends that's right we do if you're selling stuff online you're
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definitely in the right business more people are shopping online than ever that means a lot of
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bad fake ship happen hello fresh oh my god you know what
00:44:06
andrew yeah the best hamburger i've ever had in my life was hella fresh oh my god no seriously because
00:44:12
jules and i the other night we had a hello fish and we picked it up right and we made that hamburger how
00:44:17
good was it really good yeah yeah yeah pretty good with hello fresh you get fresh
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makes home cooking very easy fun and affordable because you know cooking and you know and it's stressful it's annoying
00:44:34
hello fridge cuts out all the stressful meal planning and grocery store trips and you can just enjoy cooking and get a dinner on
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the table in 30 minutes or less no it is good 10 to 20 minute meals low prep quick breakfast and lunches
00:44:46
uh they got over 25 recipes to choose from we will do sometimes the vegetarian ones and i'm not a vegetarian but those are good too
00:44:53
i got to tell you it's also a healthier lifestyle because everything all the movie all the ingredients are clean yeah right yeah and
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yeah cool it they offer the flexibility you need with customizable orders every single week you can change your delivery
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days and food preferences skip a week if you need to so you know also it's like you know i don't cook and stuff and it's like when
00:45:10
i open up a hello fresh you know a box it's easy and i look at the ingredients and in the directions
00:45:15
it's like i can make it myself yeah it's easy and i you know for a split second i feel like i'm a gourmet chef you are a gourmet chef these are very
00:45:22
easy to follow and it always comes out pretty good go to hellofresh.com bad friends 12 and use code
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the code bad for 12 for 12 free meals including free shipping right and it was at that point right i
00:45:40
was sweating yo you were getting my shirt off was off and i was like you know i mean like i was having a panic
00:45:46
yeah and because i loved the first movie i mean literally one of my favorite movies of all time yes classic right
00:45:53
and then they're doing then you could see they're doing other people's you know they have the other characters
00:45:58
well well they were using old jokes too no yeah arsenio is playing the other characters they you know they play three or four different
00:46:04
characters at the barbershop but it's like arsenio's so old he still looks like the old guy you know
00:46:10
i mean like that there's a preacher guy who was old yeah they look the same age now like it's
00:46:15
almost as if they didn't even have to do makeup they're like you're good you have to watch it it's something special well i want i
00:46:21
wanted to i wanted to watch it but i didn't because i like supporting our people that we know that
00:46:26
are in things but yeah but my issue with those things i'm telling you i hate remake or like not remakes but what
00:46:33
do they what's that called andre it's your what is it but it's not really a sequel because it's
00:46:38
the remakes the remakes reboot that's where exactly it's called a reboot yeah like ghostbusters it was a
00:46:45
reboot it wasn't a sequel it wasn't a remake the all-female cast was a reboot okay so i'm
00:46:50
trying to think of i've never i haven't i haven't heard of one reboot in my mind
00:46:56
that i said i'm glad they did that all right i'm thinking about it right now let me because there was one called that was one of the worst movies ever
00:47:02
made it was called flatliners oh i remember flatliners yeah i know i know yes i remember that movie so the
00:47:07
first movie was okay growing up correct yeah they redid it i know oh my god
00:47:12
and i always watch them right oh you know what oh there you go what about what about godzilla yeah the first godzilla the 2014 godzilla with brian
00:47:19
cranston yeah it was great it was great yeah it was so good that was good okay so okay so we got one okay but i just talked ah another kong
00:47:27
versus no i wouldn't watch it i refuse why i just don't want that it's just because i can't see in a movie theater honestly
00:47:34
yeah i need to see that in a movie theater why am i watching that at my house on my ipad it's just the movie theaters are open are they
00:47:41
open again yeah they are not here in l.a you went to see a movie yeah why the
00:47:47
also when they advertise it you know premiering on at movie theaters and
00:47:52
imax hbo max right it's like i'll watch it here i'll watch it here yeah but that movie
00:47:57
what did you go see in the theater dress i want to see the con versus godzilla what'd you think about how was it
00:48:03
it was pretty bad it's but you know here's what takes me out of it in the beginning
00:48:09
right it's just they show kong right yeah in the jungle right
00:48:15
andreas yeah and he's like he wakes up he smells the you know trees
00:48:21
yeah and then there's a waterfall and he's taking a shower cute right like a cute excuse almost as
00:48:27
if kong you know i mean he seemed way too human right and cute for me right and
00:48:35
as soon as they did that and also you can tell it's cgi they couldn't get a real kong no that's
00:48:42
not my point man i know what you're saying no my point let me ask this is there a reason they humanized him
00:48:48
for the sake of the story of the film andre's no it was just like the scene in shrek you know like
00:48:54
kind of like that opening shrek making that so that was not that wasn't like a choice that was just a thing they did
00:48:59
yeah it wasn't for the film it's like a video game the whole movie is uh here here's my point okay my point i'm
00:49:05
not a movie reviewer but here's my point okay the what makes that godzilla from 2014
00:49:11
good yeah is you don't see godzilla until like 25 inside in in the movie all
00:49:18
right so we'll we'll poo poo that but you know what when they do american remakes and movies right like the like the ring
00:49:26
the american ring yeah it was good it was scary i liked it yeah oh have you see you saw
00:49:31
the american ring i think good i don't i don't remember
00:49:37
the ring yeah i watched the ring can i tell you something yeah you've been on the show now for so
00:49:42
long even if you didn't just say yes and just go with it
00:49:48
the american ring was good you liked it right bob i saw the ring with you
00:49:55
no yes thank you rudy very good very good
00:50:03
very good that was a test that was so good rudy jules
00:50:09
swish god you're good yeah but so i bring this up because um lebron is
00:50:16
doing um space jam bass jam yeah no thanks but did you see the
00:50:21
original is one of my favorites did you see the trailer though yes it looks cool it looks cool but but i know it's just something about and
00:50:28
also michael jordan uh michael jordan right michael jordan what do you mean michael jordan but it's also
00:50:33
you know at one point these movies like predator whatever these movies are right at one point these movies were
00:50:40
original planet of the apes right right so ghost ghostbusters when you first saw it you had never seen anything like it yep
00:50:47
it's like you know it's played a real but the ghosts are gonna be goofy and cartoony totally four
00:50:52
really funny people you know i mean in the movie right and it's just like it's action-packed
00:50:59
it's uh family-friendly yeah right to a degree adults like it you know me because bill murray is like
00:51:04
with the king at the time you know he still is right yeah and it just it worked right harold ramis is a genius
00:51:10
it is a genius so my point is is that you know at one point these movies were original it just came from somebody's
00:51:16
mind right and it's fresh right and then when you redo it it's like what happened to creativity let's
00:51:21
take a [ __ ] risk well they don't want to take a shot right now because hollywood's owned by china and we have to have films that sell well overseas andres am i right
00:51:27
absolutely 100 you have to have sell these films all have to do well overseas now it used to be independent studios could exist they
00:51:34
could invest in a small movie like lauren michaels is slate used to get more love right like a sketch on snl
00:51:39
could be a [ __ ] dynamite movie yeah now those things are impossible to make coneheads one of my favorite movies of
00:51:45
all time coneheads was so funny talking about an original concept an alien family that gets to fit
00:51:50
in with the normal family he becomes the most beloved guy in his neighborhood dan aykroyd was so [ __ ]
00:51:55
funny in that that movie couldn't be made now who you'd have to sell that with like
00:52:00
i don't know [ __ ] chris hemsworth and and jackie chan maybe maybe because you're
00:52:07
right yeah it just it just you can't it's just not the same you know what we watched last night i put up a clip online two nights ago we watched beverly
00:52:13
hills ninja farley's movie bro yeah i [ __ ] loved
00:52:18
loved that movie yeah and i watched it again thinking is this gonna be as funny now yeah yup didn't even miss didn't miss a
00:52:25
[ __ ] beat it was so [ __ ] funny that's why when you watch something like i mean think about this
00:52:30
like doctor strange love i mean what a great film right yeah they that that
00:52:37
will a movie like that will never happen again maybe i mean the odds of it though i
00:52:43
you know what i want to do you know what i would do right now because i've never really done this i'm gonna tell you and this is really true i'm not
00:52:49
just saying this out of my own mind right just to you know my top 10 movies
00:52:54
are movies that everyone has to see because they're movies they'll never make again type of movies okay okay i'm not gonna
00:53:01
do ten of them i'll just do three two or three okay oh i know but you just seemed so disappointed well because i was like
00:53:06
whoa cool you're gonna do 10. i just get because i'm just thinking of it right now right right all right give
00:53:12
it so peter sellers in the movie being there being there did you see it no paris
00:53:19
texas i've seen paris texas yeah yeah but that's the vendors that's one of my favorite movies no no i like it yeah go ahead why is it
00:53:27
so hot in here have you noticed it's really hot in here it's hot outside they're trying to sweat us out
00:53:32
okay paris texas is great yeah paris texas is great and i'll tell you how the movie end
00:53:37
opens well don't say don't give anything opens how it opens oh yeah first of all it's my favorite love story
00:53:44
of all time is it oh yeah you know mine is what raising arizona dude
00:53:51
bro what are you standing for i don't know
00:53:59
[Laughter] that scared the [ __ ] out of it i i wanted to [ __ ] you just now i know i was
00:54:04
gonna i was gonna kiss you but i came too high yeah that was really came in too hot i let me do it again right go ahead this
00:54:11
is how you should have done it right well no let's see yeah raising it well you know what my favorite love story is what raising
00:54:16
arizona no no you're not too hot damn i gotta
00:54:21
learn how to do it all right how is that balancing can you do it with your face first yeah sorry try it with your face
00:54:27
all right all right yeah my bad so do try it with your face first and then slowly maybe get up okay right but don't
00:54:33
be so like aggressive well you know what my favorite love story is what raising arizona [Laughter]
00:54:41
right okay it is such a good movie yeah yeah it really is good nathan arizona have you seen that movie yes correct
00:54:48
yeah what is it about it's about a family who lives in arizona
00:54:54
that's right mm-hmm and it's a comedy skit it is a skit
00:55:01
right and then what is it that's just the premise about though
00:55:07
don't pick at your cheese pie plate they go [Music]
00:55:12
they go to school or they go to work the adults and yeah okay
00:55:20
that's also true what's the big thing that happens in the movie what do they do what do these two do in the movie they get a
00:55:26
they get imprisoned they get imprisoned that's right that's where you saw the photo that's right they get in prison that's
00:55:31
very nice okay yeah so i'm glad you like that uh one of my favorites of all time yeah okay go ahead
00:55:36
are you are you a coen brothers fan yeah what the [ __ ] what haven't they made that i like that
00:55:42
i don't like i mean i i don't think i've disliked any of their movies like even barton fink sure it's fine
00:55:47
it's fine it's weird i like it it's quirky it's it's look it's not a it's not something i'm going to watch again sucker proxy fine fine yeah yeah fine
00:55:55
yeah but then they have like country of no no control of all men one of the best movies yeah fargo come
00:56:01
on oh give me a [ __ ] one of the best okay well that there's a caveat yeah fargo the tv show i loved as much as i
00:56:08
loved the [ __ ] movie and here's the thing i've never seen it what it me to holy is
00:56:16
and i go i just i love the movie so much oh dude you would love have you seen the tv show dress yeah it's how good is it it's incredible
00:56:22
it's [ __ ] [ __ ] incredible you've seen fargo right yes right remember what happens in that
00:56:28
pilot episode of fargo the tv show the father the father shits him shits
00:56:34
himself it's unreal dude you have to see it bobby it's so good and on the heels of that
00:56:41
and on the heels of that and and then what happened remember what his mother does then when
00:56:46
when she finds out the mom the mom makes into a pie i mix it into a pie the
00:56:51
[ __ ] the [ __ ] wow it's a [ __ ] pie that's like sounds really good the pilot episode is called eat [ __ ] pot yeah sounds really good bob
00:56:58
really holy because everyone tells me to watch it it was one of my favorite shows i'll refuse it was so it's so every
00:57:04
season i mean particularly the first is that the one billy bob thornton said yes particularly the first that being
00:57:10
said they were all really [ __ ] good but ever i'll tell you about my billy bob thornton though well you don't like that he kissed this
00:57:16
uh that he he no the canadian radio show oh what what about the canadian i don't
00:57:22
know what happened right no but the canadian road yeah you do what
00:57:27
you don't know about the canadian radio show should i i know i'm like all right so he's in a band where you play you're right
00:57:32
correct yeah and he's they're opening up for willie nelson in canada they were yeah right so billy bob thornton is on a radio show that's
00:57:39
that's on youtube right you can see it right and i guess before the interview he
00:57:45
tells that i remember then why did you make me even you just
00:57:50
clicked it into my brain wait he tells the dj don't bring up them don't bring up action i'm an actor right
00:57:56
right which is so [ __ ] dumb yeah that's how we know that's how we know you [ __ ] idiot
00:58:01
right and you're good at it one of the best and you're a good musician that has no one has nothing to do with the other
00:58:06
they can both exist they can exist right right so as soon as um he brings in the
00:58:12
beginning opens with that yeah he's a great actor right and as soon as billy bob then just shuts down yeah
00:58:17
it won't answer any questions he's such a dick right yeah and he starts talking about random things like he's asked a
00:58:23
direct question he talks about like toys that he grew up you mean owning right yeah
00:58:28
and um ever since then i was just kind of like lost respect for him yeah that's not a cool move to me it's
00:58:34
just not cool for the did that disrespect to him no no no he did it's just it's weird also by the way you
00:58:41
didn't want to do radio don't [ __ ] do it then yeah if you're above it don't [ __ ] do it why'd you
00:58:47
show up yeah you didn't have to you could have said you know we're not really doing radio interviews you know what ended up happening right you kicked off the tour
00:58:54
oh he did yeah oh cool yeah well that's what you get from being like no yeah see i like that that's what
00:58:59
you get you can't just be a dick like that to people yeah by the way he's a [ __ ] d a radio
00:59:05
dj he's just doing his job yeah he's doing his job he wasn't like taking a shot at you that's why i love um that's why i love the internet
00:59:12
and stuff because of the fact that number one you can see stuff like that yeah and number two it's like oh so now
00:59:17
you have other people there's a new dimension of fame there's you know you have now influencers so you
00:59:22
know you have your people that are picking tick-tock you have yeah youtube there's different forms of entertainment out there
00:59:28
and it lessens the power of the top you're right dude well it just well it
00:59:33
also gives way to other powers right right like other things start to grow and people feel it i think i don't
00:59:38
know how much you know before like somebody i remember one time when i first moved to la i was over there was
00:59:43
you know the chinese man theater yeah i was there walking around in that area this is before they turned it into the kodak theater
00:59:50
right so i was walking around right there and i see two men in
00:59:55
suits black suits and i think they were black right and they were sunglasses at night
01:00:02
and in between them was bruce willis they're walking just chilling on hollywood no they're just walking
01:00:08
they're going for somewhere they're walking and i remember like those people were like stunned yeah i mean people were like
01:00:16
people were like frozen because you know i mean it's it's bruce
01:00:22
willis yeah it's insane right that's a [ __ ] problem
01:00:31
right now if i saw bruce was like what's up i mean it would i'll give [ __ ] hey dude yeah yeah i'd
01:00:36
say hey dude yeah he probably still walks with the two bodyguards yeah what's going on he doesn't they don't have
01:00:43
that type of like back in the day i know there's one like back in the remember the beatles
01:00:49
don't know the beatles no the band no it's not ringing a bell the beatles
01:00:55
right no the band the band the beatles what do you mean the rock band the beatles the beatles
01:01:01
the band what the [ __ ] are you talking about the beatles the band
01:01:08
yesterday what let it be the monkeys that's the monkeys
01:01:15
that's funny now you're making me sweat more like the beatles would like just show up
01:01:21
anywhere and the city would faint girls would like themselves on fire yeah in the streets like those monks in vietnam
01:01:28
right they would like it was insane yeah they would like they'd be in a car ring go everyone be in a car right
01:01:34
right against the window it's just women's vaginas are smeared against him
01:01:39
yeah like you're at some sort of like chinese like you know aqua you know aquarium or something right right just
01:01:46
vaginas right yeah i mean they they're bigger than big that no longer now there's no ban if
01:01:53
you're a 12 year old girl and you see harry styles well they lose their [ __ ] they lose their minds yeah but it's still
01:01:59
not like you know i mean i'll die i'll i'll die right to meet them it's not i'll jump
01:02:04
off this building just to see paul mcguire yeah they used to do that yeah i know that is crazy and today like
01:02:10
my first celebrity setting was tom selleck at an airport yeah with my dad when how old are you i
01:02:15
must have been like 10. yeah and then what'd you do lost absolutely batshit bonkers
01:02:20
yeah and my dad of course embarrassingly he goes hey tom selleck
01:02:26
swear to god no tom selleck turned into just run like this and i was like no damn why would you do that
01:02:32
yeah yeah tom shellick's gonna hate us now yeah it was just like but also no offense tom selleck wasn't like
01:02:39
you know what i mean yeah he's not like one of the greatest actors of all time but like to me i was like holy [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah
01:02:45
the guy from mr baseball is right there oh my god i blew my [ __ ] mind you think about it that's like the
01:02:51
highlight of your year oh on the airplane i was like this guy mr [ __ ] baseball i couldn't
01:02:57
believe it right right right i was like he goes to the airport yeah my mom's the opposite my mom so my mom doesn't know anybody right she didn't
01:03:02
know anything that's awesome right and i brought her to the comedy store once yeah and i go hey this is my friend
01:03:07
andrew not you but some other guy andrew right my mom goes hugs her hugs this guy right and he goes she goes do your work
01:03:14
here right it was nice yeah i work here i mean he does yeah but my brother
01:03:21
i love my mom has no idea yeah that's great that's so much better so much better she doesn't know many people either
01:03:26
no she doesn't know anybody we could we could bring in someone so [ __ ] famous she wouldn't it wouldn't even who's the most famous person that would
01:03:32
actually impress you harry styles see look at that hashtag yeah well 19
01:03:38
you still have that yeah it's so funny her face because you know ben winston is you know i mean yeah
01:03:45
he basically discovered harry styles yeah and when i was doing that [ __ ] talk show right
01:03:50
this is before the pandemic on corydon what no it was not that tough i was
01:03:55
doing that that game show oh yeah yeah yeah of course ben produced it yeah and we were in the in my dressing room and
01:04:02
ben walked in remember yeah and i know the connection so in my head i was just like
01:04:07
because then we would have done another season without the pandemic yeah and my goal was right and to
01:04:13
get them to meet oh that was my goal it just never happened but i'm going to this concert oh when
01:04:20
they're putting on a show if it opens if it opens september hairstyles was in one direction and he
01:04:26
broke away but did they break up or they they're never going to do it again is that what it is they shouldn't yeah they're better without each other i
01:04:33
have to say though because i'm a snob yeah his first solo
01:04:39
album was f what real good it was okay and i i i have to admit that
01:04:47
after that did he fall off the the other album is okay there's some catchy poppy you know kind of stuff that what do you
01:04:52
say like you're embarrassed about it watermelon sugar right yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you're saying that because you know um i grew up with you know
01:04:59
oh stop it please don't make me [ __ ] no but you i mean you grew up with the stones right yeah but there's the again there's great
01:05:06
rock bands that still exist yeah but it's like as good as exile on main street an album come on
01:05:14
listen to the [ __ ] white album but that's to you i don't know who they are that's to you and that's to you big is
01:05:20
where the way that harry styles is to her when you listened to the white album right every song was is a household everyone
01:05:28
knows i know the music because i think they didn't write it i think they stole a lot of that stuff i wholeheartedly believe that i don't
01:05:34
believe they made [ __ ] 50 number one hits i think they stole a lot of music i do i really do i think there's still a lot
01:05:41
of stupid you think they just made that up they stole a lot i had two even three
01:05:46
right they had scouts going out listening to other people's stuff and they were stealing if you look if you listen to paul mccartney's like they were the robin
01:05:53
williams of music you thought it was all his stuff how much time every day you're really making
01:05:58
me mad right now oh because i'm because i'm saying that the beatles didn't read all their own [ __ ] i know they stole stuff they still didn't steal anything man that's [ __ ]
01:06:05
ridiculous thieves you stole from who bill burr's essence
01:06:10
[Music] i'm such a loser all and then yeah well you tried to steal ken jongs but i
01:06:17
was before him how is he so further along he's more talented correct that's obvious that's
01:06:22
right yeah don't come at me it didn't hurt what you just said didn't hurt me it didn't hurt me the bill birthing at all i'm just going to give you i'm going to
01:06:28
give you the same you got defensive [ __ ] you got defensive when you make fun of me you're so sensitive i'm gonna make fun of you
01:06:34
but what you did didn't hurt me the billboard didn't hurt me either you just said a bad joke about me so i said a bad
01:06:39
joke about it right but no but i if you would have done the ken junk first to me i wouldn't have brought it back to you because it would just deflect sure you
01:06:46
would no by the way you started this war don't be mad because i brought west there's no war no but when you made fun of me of course i just hit you back i hit you
01:06:52
back you're trying to egg me on by saying that the beatles didn't write their own [ __ ] speaking of an egg
01:07:01
no the beatles i do believe that they probably begged and borrowed and stole some of that stuff that's so stoked anyway how can you say that that's not
01:07:06
why wouldn't that be true what do you know that how do you know that that's not true because i'll tell you why because
01:07:12
um number one elvis steele no but some of his music was co-written
01:07:18
by a lot of it was taken from other people taken let's move on many people in the black community have said in the
01:07:24
that he has stolen black music not just the essence of black music he has literally stolen music from other
01:07:30
artists and they couldn't say anything about it okay and you think the beatles couldn't have that power nope
01:07:35
okay let's move on okay yeah yeah i wholeheartedly believe their belief they're thieves okay
01:07:41
they're thieves we were going into a nice movie thing it was fine and also and also i'll say
01:07:47
this they're [ __ ] paul mccartney is a hypocrite he's [ __ ] poo poo full of [ __ ] him and his
01:07:53
wife started like an anti-drug movement campaign his whole [ __ ] career was made on drugs he's a [ __ ] turd shut up paul
01:07:59
mccartney dude if if you let me say something shut up if paul mccartney walked in here right now
01:08:04
wouldn't give a [ __ ] are you being real wouldn't give a [ __ ] are you being
01:08:10
[ __ ] real because the real genius of the beatles died a long time ago who john who john lennon yeah dude yeah
01:08:18
yeah the real genius of the beatles it was already dead god you're so dumb paul mccartney don't do drugs kids don't
01:08:25
do drugs your whole [ __ ] career was drugs
01:08:30
who the [ __ ] are you lucy in the [ __ ] sky with diamonds you made a [ __ ] album called
01:08:38
yellow submarine yeah your whole [ __ ] was drugs he didn't write those songs that's true
01:08:45
right sometimes they co-write songs he wrote let it be yeah right yeah it's a good song yeah
01:08:52
it is yeah he wrote yesterday i love paul mccartney i'm
01:08:58
actually the biggest beatles fan are you being real yeah that was a good bit yeah thank you for being a bad friend
01:09:11
because it didn't happen for me what didn't happen like for me it's like i wanted when we first
01:09:16
do comedy right we go you get in the rocket ship right yeah yeah right you're like all right apollo 13.
01:09:28
yeah and then you sit in the rocket ship for a decade yeah you're trying to press the button
01:09:33
how does this work you're called nasa and i think it's broken right now we're working on it right it's not and then at
01:09:38
one point they just pry you out of the [ __ ] machine right you're in the wrong rocket ship you know you're not you're no
01:09:44
longer an astronaut right so then you're like now back in your car driving home right right
01:09:49
and then and then three years later they go get back in yeah right we fixed it it doesn't work
01:09:54
yeah it doesn't work yeah so he right got in and it's now in a
01:10:00
different [ __ ] solar system right you know yeah i'm a [ __ ] greatest right and it's like
01:10:06
we're still on earth rocket ships are cool
01:10:12
for me it's like i'm um you know what i'm i'm on a uh hot air balloon
01:10:21
yeah what am i what am i slowly it's going up it's going up i'm 60
01:10:28
almost and then sometimes fairly often and sometimes the helium gets out and you have to work really hard to fire
01:10:35
it up again yeah that's that's [ __ ] me you know what i am what those little those little prop planes
01:10:40
that fly right below the the so you don't have to have oxygen
01:10:46
just hoping no one shoots me down out of this guy before the wright brothers there were people that tried to like invent flight it was
01:10:52
the weird [ __ ] that's me sure begging to stay home just begging to stay afloat
01:10:58
[Music]

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  • 65
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  • 60
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Episode Highlights

  • Puppy Surprise
    A surprising twist with three new puppies!
    “I wake up and guess what's there? Three puppies!”
    @ 03m 40s
    April 12, 2021
  • Cheese on Pie
    A unique culinary experience with cheddar cheese on apple pie.
    “Cheddar cheese on apple pie is legit!”
    @ 07m 45s
    April 12, 2021
  • Baby News
    George welcomes a new baby into the world!
    “Congratulations to George and their new brand new baby!”
    @ 13m 55s
    April 12, 2021
  • Helix Sleep Mattress
    Helix Sleep offers a personalized mattress quiz to find your perfect fit. 'They send you the perfect mattress for your body.'
    “Helix is awesome!”
    @ 23m 30s
    April 12, 2021
  • Audition Insights
    A series of auditions reveals unique personalities and talents. 'She's sincere and authentic, and you can tell she's a little scared.'
    “She's the best!”
    @ 28m 02s
    April 12, 2021
  • George Lopez's Professionalism
    A discussion on George Lopez's work ethic and professionalism in comedy. 'What a work ethic!'
    “That generation's professionalism is unmatched.”
    @ 37m 43s
    April 12, 2021
  • The American Ring
    A nostalgic look back at the American remake of 'The Ring' and its impact.
    “The American Ring was good, you liked it right?”
    @ 49m 42s
    April 12, 2021
  • Hollywood Reboots
    A discussion on the trend of Hollywood reboots and their lack of creativity.
    “What happened to creativity? Let's take a risk!”
    @ 51m 21s
    April 12, 2021
  • Beverly Hills Ninja
    Revisiting the comedy classic and its timeless humor.
    “I loved that movie!”
    @ 52m 18s
    April 12, 2021
  • The Beatles and Theft
    Discussion on accusations that the Beatles stole from black artists.
    “They're thieves!”
    @ 01h 07m 35s
    April 12, 2021
  • Paul McCartney's Hypocrisy
    Critique of McCartney's anti-drug stance given his past.
    “Don't do drugs, kids!”
    @ 01h 08m 25s
    April 12, 2021
  • The Struggle of Comedy
    A metaphor about the challenges faced in pursuing a career in comedy.
    “Begging to stay afloat.”
    @ 01h 10m 58s
    April 12, 2021

Episode Quotes

Key Moments

  • Tour Announcement00:18
  • Puppy Surprise03:40
  • Cheese on Pie07:45
  • Baby News13:55
  • Unique Personalities28:08
  • Hollywood Reboots51:21
  • Critique of McCartney1:07:47
  • Career Metaphors1:09:11

Words per Minute Over Time

Vibes Breakdown

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