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using Code bad friends at my.u.com badri hello Cyber Monday o it's cyber
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cyber monday it's in the past and the future and we got new merch check it out
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check it out we got these new shirts this is the the fans made the fans made this and the fan made this and this one
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is stitched on like high level we love this we love that we have hoodies we
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have uh crew necks uh long sleeve shirts uh we got it all baby we got it all baby because it's cyber be Monday right down
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below in the YouTube uh uh the Youtube store right down below our video uh it's
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20% off because 20% off because of the Cyber so you two are bad friends who are these
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two idiots a white dude and an Asian dude you two are disgusting W you
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or something we're bad friends anyway we're we're filming this podcast election night we filmed this on
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Election night on right now right when you're listening to this this is election night I also think we did this
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on the last election for we were around then yeah 2020 yeah 20 2020 this guy I'm
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almost posi no one talks except for us today did we do an episode did we do an episode on I think we did because I
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remember him talking like this this this sounds familiar no because I no I tell you why we weren't Tito Bobby was in
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Joshua Tree I was in thank you so much I was in Joshua Tree H yeah just like you
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in a desert Rabb like a rabbit desert rabbit rabbit rabbit desert rabbit
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rabbit I can't I can't po do that I can't even say desert rabbit dude I can't even say desert rabbit right now
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dude say it again give me the line again I was in the like desert rabbit oh you
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in a desert rabbit yeah yeah and it was I remember do you remember you were there mhm let's
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be real though I remember Julio was on the couch with his arm on the couch watching me m yeah I remember so did you
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even vote today no I I give money so you didn't
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even vote you didn't either yes I did there's no way where's your sticker where's my sticker I don't wear the
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sticker I'm not a cuck yeah well I did too then no I know you didn't yes I did when where I at Beachwood Canyon no you
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didn't that ping that what time 2 p.m. 2 p.m. yeah give me your phone no you give
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me your phone okay what what what kind of gameer are we playing cuz I know at 2 p.m. I can see who you were communicating with at 2 p.m. and you
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would be like I'm in line here I am yeah that's my I have proof I live with someone that goes yep I went to the
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[ __ ] Elementary and I have proof I have with people to do it to no you don't yeah I have my housekeeper why would you lie because where you going
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did you vote Yes I did you're a liar my house goes where you going I go how can the fans believe you if you say you'd
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voted when we know you didn't how can you do this right now cuz you're Mr on your high horse you're a high hor here
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you are complaining about something you didn't even contribute to yeah yeah he's never voted well that's my it doesn't matter in California we all love that no
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yeah I need wait hold on I need a
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churo that's insane I need you know what I'm going to get a cookie yeah get a churo and a cookie yeah I'm going to get
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half a cookie that'll solve all your problems this is what the liberals do
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they eat away their feelings they're sad about what happened they eat Munch Munch Munch Cookie
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Monster no but let me be serious for a second okay neither of us voted we know
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that you didn't either of course not of course not but we should for at least the local elections I'm mad about that
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but I couldn't because guess what went to the registar I'm not registered how I voted last time called still I need to
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go in and turn in more proof documents that it it's me so either somebody stole my identity but I don't have my original
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birth certificate do you mine's framed my parents died in a fire when I was a
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kid they're all gone everything's gone you can do that online request another a birth certificate exactly thank you so
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much how long does it take to get uh maybe a week this is coming from someone that definitely didn't get a certificate
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of birth yeah let's not talk about birth certificates right now dude yeah okay
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anyway I tried don't Google go how you get one then we have to go through the process I don't want to go through the
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process of it long it does take it is a pain in the ass it's a whole thing proving you were born I mean it took me
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3 minutes to register to vote H but H but yeah because you're a brand new Citizen and they cannot wait to get your
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information guess what dude jury duty coming your way you're you're going to have so much solicitation coming your
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way I cannot wait you're fresh blood kiddo you're new to the fold and welcome by the way can't wait to take your taxes
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and another thing scumbag you scumbag get them Bob you're students right who
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paid for their dinner Bobby did was that not a nice gesture that's right and you treat me like you did earlier yeah about
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saying oh here's you know he doesn't you know Mr whatever you said whatever what did he say I don't remember but I can't even speak I can't even I'm so emotional
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I can't even speak get it out all right so enough of that kind of behavior all
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right and by the way Bobby gave them money and he goes so far not only did he give them money he cooked them dinner
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tonight came right from cooking dinner wow isn't that polite that's so polite
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I don't know I don't get that Chef shirt I love your fashion you always have good fashion the chef shirt I don't get it's
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the roach one the Mone that is the roach shirt yeah M do you like this one I think it's sick I think it's sick too
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yeah and Mone would no more yeah dude Mone would no more yeah come over here yeah yeah yeah look at what this [ __ ] loser is wearing okay look
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yeah he's wearing an Adolf Hitler shirt you I mean
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aend yeah you voted all right great get out of here get out of here kid fast as you can yeah
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these jeans have a [ __ ] stain on the back yeah ha I'll I'll tell you another thing if you ever pull your pants down
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in front of me and jwes and you do a Ramen fart I swear to god dude you you have another thing coming well what will
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you do what will you do you know what this is like that clip with Mike Tyson when he's like yeah I'm G vote for Trump yeah
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what what what you going to do about it and everyone's like well nothing yeah that's right so shut the [ __ ] so shut
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the [ __ ] up how about that but you know what it's so funny what what am I going to do about it what are you gonna do about it I'm going to do something
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that's not non-violent okay okay so is that what you're pertaining to no anything what are you going to do about
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it I'm going to fart on I'm going to I when I got to fart I'm farting right at you every time I twist Minds mhm okay
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and I'll cork screw your [ __ ] mind into a different dimension you are mindboggling all right there's a lot
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about I I I have people that I call dude whom whom yeah wh to whom whom do you
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call to whom don't scare me [ __ ] okay you want
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a war you want a war with me yeah all right we'll have a war yeah I don't want it you started it I didn't start [ __ ]
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yeah yeah you came at me don't fart in my face nobody farted in your face I farted at her you farted at both of us
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well so much you know what you were in the blast radius you caught some shrapnel you were in the blast radius it
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was aimed at you look I tried to hit the Philippines it's like when Chernobyl went off right it affected Germany it
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did yeah yeah is that what you're saying yes I'm Germany yes you're German [ __ ] dude that's say sneak SCS yeah yeah by
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the way Ramen I'm never going to go to that place ever again which one is it well I don't want to [ __ ] on it yeah
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whisper whisper well we can blank it out yeah blank it out oh it's terrible dude there's one by our houses no this was
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cuz I was on the road I know I know I'm on the R I was on the run and I was like it's I had a post made to bring it here to eat it guess how much my Ramen was
00:07:51
tonight from them I'm not kidding I added some [ __ ] in there okay so uh I got I got a regular old school and I
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added a few new vegetables and and I wanted extra meat $32 $32 right you know
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what I mean that's a ripoff boohoo dude that's a ripoff bro do you know that's a ripoff but but by any standard that's a
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ripoff that's a ripoff this guy buys a silk right cover for each one of his
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[ __ ] golf clubs that's not true that's AB 89.95 each silk right he's got 15 golf clubs right because they have to
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be like you know what I mean spotless and it's got to have that [ __ ] go get the golf clubs right now and see how they're those are your secondary ones
00:08:30
those are those are your secondary ones that you keep at the office you have ones at home whatever I have no clubs at
00:08:35
Louis Vuitton put it back Louis Vuitton look at those silk things B nardy those covers are for the drivers uninformed
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didn't you get beat with those things you don't even know what they are yeah yeah my dad took the covers off oh he did yeah when he beat me with them okay
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so um the silk cover dude thanks for not playing good improv and getting on board
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me with the ramen oh so $33 for ramen
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oh no you know man they should go back to wherever they came from that's way
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too much money where should they go back to I thought you wanted an improv now you're doing you're now you're neing it
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well what do you no I'm not going to don't you're negative go back to where they came from I don't know what bit you want me to do dude a funny one say it
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again then let's start again say it again I I I I'll read the tempo you know I had really good ramen today yeah well
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where but it was expensive where let me guess where let me guess yeah because
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I've had a problem with these people too dude where does it say with start with a j it does end with a a it does janga MHM
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jonga jonga janga did you get nervous when we were yelling at each other yeah and you were getting red so I thought it
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was I'm hot I should take off this sweater it's too hot in here yeah you're scary when you're angry I know thank you
00:09:50
what me uh you're okay yeah see that's what I'm saying yeah you're SC I get angry with peace H you know what I mean
00:09:58
no yeah yeah firm but soft always softt yeah it's a com it's a combo see I do
00:10:03
combo Expressions what people don't realize about me yeah you're like a combo yeah yeah filled with [ __ ] yeah
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rage but empathy little hint of empathy underneath right Joy but with a little
00:10:16
bit of resentment you know I mean it's a combination I put out there because I'm human and I'm a complex human being D
00:10:23
dynamic in many ways okay so I am sorry that you spent so much on that food
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thanks and um I'm just not going to tell you anything anymore that's you're being
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like a little baby right now you lead the show oh come on dude can I just say something no leave the show tonight I'll
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tell you something right I'm going to let you leave the show you ready so this [ __ ] guy Amir K is in the Green Room
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at the com I'll tell you where where where I'm at right now yeah where's this coming from I thought we'd put cookies in you you'd be happy give me hey give
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me the the rest of the cookie please yeah yeah please give himic huh what what happened with theic I'm on theic
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oh dude dude don't I'm trying to have a show tonight I know dude what are you doing dude I'm Gonna Get You All I'm
00:11:09
gonna you want to get give me give the thank you thank you what's this no stop stop give me the other one no what's
00:11:15
this I don't know it's in the Box you want half of this Rudy yeah okay very good I don't want this probably jelly or
00:11:21
something yeah yeah come here dude lick it off his finger yeah there go go good boy good
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boy boy okay good cookie this is so good let's
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start a new let's start a new okay so a week ago I'm in The Green Room at The
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Comedy Store I'm just sitting there with I want to say his name should I say
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it why can't you say the name he's my dear friend yeah we're friends with him but we can't say the name because you want to protect him because of what the
00:11:53
best well you know I I just you know he he started spouting off some politics
00:12:00
you know I mean you know if when it comes to fishing I'll listen to
00:12:05
him what's so funny he loves the fish he's actually incredible Fisher I've eaten fish that he's caught yeah yeah
00:12:10
he's a great fisherman okay what's so funny mcon yeah dude what's so funny I
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just wasn't expecting fishing to get brought up in this political
00:12:21
[Music] conversation well I mean for sure he
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can't come to Australia you're not coming yeah yeah for sure unpack your [ __ ] when you get home yeah yeah for sure unpack it stay yeah
00:12:33
because that's tough that right there dude not good D let me tell you I don't want to cut you off I want this story to
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finish but just so I can be a little bit more I'm with you here when I walked in today and these two guys saw well no you
00:12:45
saw it actually Andre saw it did he have attitude to me Bobby if you were [ __ ] here and
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then I yelled at him and I said if Bob were here for this and you the response
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the way he responds to me the these days it's okay it's it's I I'm actually like
00:13:03
I'm genuinely shocked okay so this bad friends just to give you some education is a TV show we do TV show numbers
00:13:11
that's right okay yeah so you know when a PA let's see a
00:13:16
showrunner what what a showrunner there let's say there's a showrunner got it and a PA or or you know somebody on set
00:13:22
that does like props right M talks back right in a negative way to the
00:13:27
showrunner right the show runner doesn't even know that dude's name he gets fired on the spot he's like who's that who's
00:13:33
that guy what we did was we went oh let's memorize the prop guy's name right we let him in and like get let's
00:13:40
exchange number with the [ __ ] lighting guy right and all of a sudden the lighting guy is like oh I'm equal to
00:13:46
the showrunner he is actually an assistance assistant exact assistance assistance assistant he's assistant
00:13:52
assist assist yeah yeah yeah definitely and for some reason he's in the executive office right and he thinks
00:13:57
you're a peer and you're not right and what you're going to realize my little
00:14:02
friend okay is that when you're out in the world without us yeah you're going
00:14:08
to drown you're going to drown pal right you're going to drown and you're going to drown forever so if you want this
00:14:13
life-saving best wait what's that smirk about Carlos about drowning forever that
00:14:18
made me laugh but you're doing the thing too like yeah you try to make me drown that's what that laugh was you're so on
00:14:25
edge tonight dude I didn't what you're on edge is crazy all I I'm not on edge
00:14:31
all I did was laugh don't am call me on edge you're a standup comedian I laughed at your [ __ ] joke get out of here now
00:14:36
you rais your you're fire you're fire I'm man you actually you need me for the weeks Stay Stay okay stay stay don't
00:14:44
push me dude I got it all right so you made you made the bet this Indian Middle Eastern guy okay sure whatever yes you
00:14:50
know what I mean funny guy he's from Iran funny guy right right and you know
00:14:56
he's got a person he's saying that's from a different mid Midwest who has certain beliefs sure I don't I have
00:15:03
dinner with them that's fine fine right but he started touting off like oh for sure it's got real politic it's going to
00:15:09
be Trump right and you know I'm not that I you know I'm in the middle you know I was
00:15:17
like can I can I ask you something what's going on with the show Andrew can I ask you something please is it me no what what I'm seeing
00:15:26
and I'm sensing is it me no so I'm not going insane uh tap your side right now tap
00:15:33
the side of your leg okay because everyone in here is out of pocket you hear that my pockets are empty cuz all
00:15:39
you guys are out of it dude you're out of [ __ ] I'm out of pocket yeah I have no money these guys are out of pocket it is him tonight oh my God what you say
00:15:46
you're vibrating with like crazy energy tonight oh my God I came here with such Namaste energy like he was I came here I
00:15:53
came here like Steven Sagal Namaste dude Namaste and then what you're doing dude
00:15:58
is your [ __ ] gaslighting me you're making me feel nervous you Bobby wait why what you too now yeah like what your
00:16:06
energy wow what's going on wow wow you have the floor I want you
00:16:15
to just what what dude could I just ask you something yeah are you on my side I need
00:16:21
you do me a favor tell I'm being real I'm being real right now I know I
00:16:28
need you on my side right now take one more bite of a all right I need you let one more bite I need you to go down with me if I'm going to go down dude I'm
00:16:34
right here I'm I love you so much I'm right here I don't feel any support here hey I am right here I feel no support
00:16:41
here I'm right here okay but what is that what is [Laughter]
00:16:50
that hahaa ha of course I'm on your side
00:16:56
never leave your side I will never leave your side ever I'll never abandon you ever no fine I feel
00:17:03
great I feel wonderful thank you can I say something last night you got a compliment at the party we went to
00:17:10
Bert's house for a little surprise party that was fun although it wasn't a surprise oh can I just tell you about
00:17:16
that too piece of [ __ ] what did I you dog hole human what did I what did I do you you [ __ ] [ __ ] what did I do I tell
00:17:22
you you did what did I do I'm a couple hours away I think I'm going to be late to this thing and you
00:17:28
text me you have to be there by 6:30 no yeah you did I can I get the text right here you called me and you said I had to
00:17:34
be there at 6 there's a surprise party but what I'm saying is that so I get there at 5:50 mhm I wait 40 minutes
00:17:41
there's no one there I'm at Burke's house I'm just there with his wife it's
00:17:47
you and your brother and my brother and and Leanne ker what a what a nice moment
00:17:53
right but now Bert's coming at 6:30 and now I'm the only one there saying surprise
00:18:00
so I hear Berke come in the house and there's like yeah 20 people supposed to be there right he comes around the
00:18:06
corner and my brother who my bir never met Steve before and I have like little cigar case that I bought him and we go
00:18:14
surprise right and he laughed so hard because that was like the most UNG
00:18:20
glorious surprise what a comedy moment right what a funny moment he goes you're the last person I ever thought that you
00:18:26
would be her and then you trickle it at 650 like What's your deal Amigo okay so
00:18:33
give me a little bit of credit for a great comedy moment in both your and Bert's life I know you you got the text
00:18:40
message you didn't read it you called old Andy and you said what time do we have to be there even though it texted
00:18:47
us today the Evite this is when you're supposed to be there so I said to you you got to be there by 6 yes the invite
00:18:55
said no need to come before 6:30 yes I did had to bait you to be there before
00:19:00
everybody cuz I thought that'd be funny it's not it worked it did for you it was hilarious and the world okay cuz I
00:19:07
walked in and everybody was like what how is Bobby here before anybody else it
00:19:12
was perfect and by the way you're welcome he remembered it he talked about
00:19:18
it all night when you left he's like how cool was that that Bobby was here with his brother first yeah so you're welcome
00:19:24
okay and I stayed all night by the way talking with Bert and Leanne how long were you there to uh uh I think I left
00:19:29
at 10:40 or 11:00 wow we talked all night wow I love those people I love
00:19:34
them too they're great a I had to get out of there and Fitz Simmons oh my God oh my God what so Bert has Bert has
00:19:44
dogs berd has dogs that are so big I mean it's almost shocking you know
00:19:51
when you see a dog that's so big you can't believe it pit bulls they're they're like um bu Mastiff they're
00:19:57
Mastiffs but they're mixed so check this [ __ ] out the first picture is the first picture is of Steve Steve
00:20:04
uh who I'm i l more than anybody is sitting on the couch this is Bobby's brother sitting on the couch with the
00:20:10
dog doesn't like him that much but I love Steve look at this there's Steve
00:20:15
and I said to Leanne how much does that dog weigh yeah she go I go Steve that
00:20:20
dog is as big as you the dog is 160 lb yeah he weighs more than Steve Steve
00:20:26
weighs 155b dog is bigger than Steve what a beautiful dog and look at the next
00:20:31
picture look at how scared Fitz was of sitting next to this dog okay didn't like the drool of the petting look at his face look at his [ __ ] face dude
00:20:39
that was at the end of the night look at the size of that dog his head he's looking more and more like the old man from
00:20:45
up look at that photo dude I mean I love him I showed this
00:20:51
photo to my wife and she didn't have her glasses on yeah and she literally goes look at that dog and then she goes Ellen
00:20:57
was there last night no there's no way there's no way Acorn
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do.com badri zach.com badri I don't think you'd ever want a
00:23:26
dog that size but imagine that thing pulling you down the street here we go again you questioning questioning my
00:23:33
[ __ ] strength again dude I cannot believe today you don't have the core strength you don't have nothing what you
00:23:40
have nothing either dude you got to come with better than that no I'm not I don't need to I can I can come with whatever
00:23:45
his energy today Rudy it's wild yeah what is that you're right what is going on get him another cookie you're right
00:23:53
honesty you're right right I'm I'm off I'm off I'm off
00:23:59
I'm you know what I'll try chocolate croissant today today is wild yeah I'll take a chocolate croissant get him a
00:24:04
chocolate croissant please this is something big hey mcon do me a huge favor yeah have one of those [ __ ]
00:24:11
things loaded in the chamber yeah also can I have another thing dude um give me a Diet Coke if there is WR I'd really
00:24:16
like one I look at me I know what's wrong I know what's wrong my best friend
00:24:22
I know what's wrong what's wrong this is a this is an emotional day you wear your emotions on your sleeve Rudy
00:24:30
help um my birthday is on Saturday oh shut the [ __ ] up it won't be here wait
00:24:36
your birthday's on Saturday oh I'm turning 23 I feel old 23 oh God
00:24:42
you're so Haggard now you're burnt they'd kick you out of Vegas that's when I started standup Rudy jues birthday
00:24:48
there it is yeah so sad we'll get you something Coke what did you get what did
00:24:53
you get Bert for his birthday a box of cigars yeah you know that's a classy move I got eight of them yeah there were
00:24:59
a lot that's very expensive I went into a cigar store okay can I say something about Eric Griffin this [ __ ]
00:25:07
[ __ ] moves two hours away yeah he lives in uh so then he goes hey come to my house and do a pod my 300th not
00:25:15
knowing and then I look at the map two two hours away two hours away yeah I'm
00:25:20
out wait it's past Magic Mountain there's even anything up there I yeah I thought I thought that that's where it
00:25:25
ended edge of the Earth yeah yeah like a flat earther I thought that's where it ended you know past Six Flags there
00:25:31
ain't nothing past Six Flags so I got way out there and I'm like oh my I it
00:25:36
was so resentful because it's like that's so far drive if it was like Conan
00:25:41
O'Brian he would never live that maybe yeah but he's not living out there you know what I mean if it was like give me a name John store yes absolutely I'd
00:25:49
drive wherever the [ __ ] that San Francisco Drive San I'd walk Eric Griffin it's like that's a 20-minute
00:25:54
Drive send a car that's my yeah that that's the most I'll go he should have 15 20 minutes you know what I mean right
00:26:00
I keep seeing his ad on Tik Tok who Eric Griffin what do you mean AD what for what I don't know and your ad for the
00:26:08
hot sauce hot sauce or beer or something I keep seeing Oh Fireball yeah I keep
00:26:15
seeing you on Tik Tok the fireball ad mhm wow you're famous no but they put it
00:26:21
on TV I didn't know it was on Tik Tok did Tik to oh me and stavos me and the
00:26:27
you remember stavos remember him came yeah yeah the best by the way his movie is getting all sorts of love it's great
00:26:32
you SE congratulations what congratulations I not in it I'm saying
00:26:38
everything you've never done oh thank you look at me right now dude yeah look at me right now uhuh actually st stop
00:26:43
stop stop wait wait 84% audience score amazing that's [ __ ] huge yeah why no Tomato Meter cuz there's too few reviews
00:26:51
right cuz it's in Indie the last year yeah I've been secretly working on a a movie that's great if you there's a part
00:27:00
in there no no because I heard what you already said you said it and you didn't say it
00:27:06
what you went there's a small if you do there's a part that's how I said playback the
00:27:12
tape in the edit yeah play back the tape of him going there's a smart oh a smart
00:27:17
part oh a smart part Mr [ __ ] you know what I mean
00:27:23
assumptions over here there's a smart part yeah for me yeah what's the Char they smart guy oh scientist how many
00:27:31
pages many pages money Pages many many PES yeah you know how many pages of the
00:27:38
film in general 130 you wrote a 130 page comedy script yep that'll never happen
00:27:45
we're going to condense it you I hope so anyway to less than 90 okay how many pages am I in how many smart Pages am I
00:27:52
on 10 I'm me 10 yeah 10 lines how many scenes 10 lines 10 lines how many scenes
00:27:59
10 lines one scene it's one scene I have 10 lines small part it's a small
00:28:05
part this is making sense yeah yeah because you're not going to do the lead time out you're not the lead of the
00:28:12
movie it's your [ __ ] movie whoa whoa whoa what's this pal that
00:28:19
coke can I get a can or wow Bryson got that right yeah Bryson
00:28:26
very nice of you bud what's the premise of this movie you've put together and when you say I've been working on it secretly you haven't been at the
00:28:32
computer yeah but I've been meeting up with the writer telling him what to do well we go through beats of the movie
00:28:37
and you know mean like yeah yeah I like that his name was Mike mcgrail I love it and then so what's the premise of the
00:28:43
film what set in the 90s and there's a border crossing
00:28:48
between Canada and the US MH it's it's in Washington and it's it no one crosses
00:28:55
it like once a year I get two cars to cross it so there's a little B it's in the '90s and there's a little border U
00:29:01
Patrol like three agents that work at that little is this based on a true story yeah it's a real place okay right
00:29:07
and um generally the three that are there are like not the best B there's nothing to do yeah so there's like
00:29:13
pranks between the you know I mean the Canadian border and this and that meanwhile a real threat is coming over
00:29:19
great idea right and we a bunch of bumbling kind of you know I hope I
00:29:25
really I hope that goes cuz that would be [ __ ] rad this but there's a um a scene where
00:29:31
you're I'm you're not going to get me to do that I mean this from all my heart I
00:29:36
will never do that movie no chance okay yeah I love you I love you too man I
00:29:42
would that you you wouldn't do that if it was the other way you know that oh I've done it before name it every movie
00:29:47
I've ever been in no no if it was the other way with this with you and I yeah no no no if it was the other way if I if
00:29:53
okay so I know that spade and Theo has a movie right right and they might offer off for me a small part in it right I
00:30:00
will do it you're you're not listening to a word I'm saying if this was the other way and I did and I said we have a
00:30:05
small part for you you're not doing it do you get it yeah I would no you wouldn't your mind test test test no he
00:30:11
wouldn't what's a test I'm testing these guys cuz they know he does say yes to a lot of his friends I do it podcasts no I
00:30:19
did that Robert Kelly thing out in the [ __ ] thing that was terrible but this is me and you it's different than those
00:30:25
people you wouldn't do it if I did this thing it's funny really scene stealing
00:30:30
kind of part though it's not like some throwaway thing it's like you're going to steal the movie with it yeah you know
00:30:36
what I mean it's super funny there's violence in it I would you make me so mad I'm going to go to the theater and
00:30:41
I'm going to go man I wish I was in there I'm asking you for a favor dude I don't like
00:30:47
favors I'm asking you for favor okay you know what what okay that's fine you
00:30:52
throw me I'll do I'm serious you're right no you're right and I say yes now listen I'm saying yes hold on hey yeah
00:30:59
yeah yeah can I speak to Vic who's Vic this is I'm calling Morgan
00:31:04
Stanley the bank they're my loan hey guys hey Vic
00:31:10
are we on hey hey do you think I could pay my mortgage with
00:31:15
favors okay yeah our bills could I pay them with favors okay did they take favor slips okay yeah like if I can't
00:31:22
pay my [ __ ] mortgage this month is it cool if I say it's for a favor hold on could they do a favor for me what's up
00:31:29
all right Vic I'll talk to you we all right bye he's actually getting a phone call
00:31:35
Done Right Jean Hong you [ __ ] cut it out
00:31:41
you made you called Morgan and Morgan you know I'll do whatever you want I would do anything for you and let
00:31:47
me have a moment I'm going to call a miror though let me have a moment with you okay I mean it you know I would do anything for you anytime for the rest of
00:31:54
my life after this all right yeah I'm on I'm on B friends right now and and I I
00:31:59
think I lost get that money out and get it ready
00:32:04
buddy I know dude I I admit I was wrong and I lost and I'm gonna give you the
00:32:10
500 wrong whato man tell this man how wrong he was man he was wrong
00:32:17
man all right soir I love Amir yeah yeah so it's a it's cash money Andrew Cash Money 500
00:32:25
dude no no he said Amir what you said it was a th yeah it was a, it was $500 air if you
00:32:31
want to go down this road I can go down this road with you dude okay Trump America baby it's a thousand bucks
00:32:38
brother all right brother I I'm going to Australia tomorrow when I get back you'll get the 500 beautiful I love you
00:32:44
I love you buddy love you dude he's so funny by the way now I feel better because now because he was the only one I bet with right yeah yeah I feel better
00:32:52
good I accept it accept this you know I'm going to do the movie I would do anything for you and I mean it no look at me don't rudge me off I do a bit for
00:32:59
the show you're going to be so mad there's no part in the movie for
00:33:07
[Laughter]
00:33:14
you I'm kidding there is let's move onoc yeah you are choc chocolate
00:33:22
chocolate let's be real I'm not doing the mov I would never
00:33:28
[ __ ] that [ __ ] it give him the yes give him a churro please give him the give chur give me a churro put it in keep it in the chamber dud right here give it I
00:33:34
want a plate please give me a plate you're eating a lot no he's not you're
00:33:39
going to puke again I I he's already you didn't take it today
00:33:44
I it yesterday I took it yeah not today isn't it it's one week once a week oh [ __ ] yeah I'm gurgling you're gurgly but
00:33:51
I need to do it because I'm just I don't know what else cuz it's fun yeah you'll be fine you found it cuz he's this guy's
00:33:56
the best we don't even have oh in the cabinets yeah let me let me say this that does sound like a [ __ ]
00:34:02
phenomenal movie idea I really do I really like that like I think it does sound dope I think you're going to kill it they're not going to they're going to
00:34:08
do it why would they not I don't even understand why we don't even have a thing yet you know with the production team that they've got behind it that's
00:34:14
people going to want to do that but um yeah that's what my Dreamcast would be
00:34:19
that's your Dreamcast yeah oh they're not attached to it I just like I want
00:34:24
for this I want him I want him and then I what's so funny what's so funny cuz let
00:34:31
me tell you something about your Dreamcast with the zombie movie I knew that was coming yeah yeah yeah yeah I
00:34:37
don't know who these other people are but I know that who's not in it us two and now I swear to God on my
00:34:46
mother's life oh that's on my mother's life I will never do
00:34:51
it [ __ ] piss me off now dude you just lost me dude this is what you get you
00:34:56
piece of [ __ ] dude this is what you get I'm glad you're not I need a break from you dude I'm glad you're not going to Australia oh [ __ ] yeah you want to tell
00:35:03
him what he's going him and his wife and the baby are
00:35:09
coming how they they asked if they could make a family vacation but not the whole time
00:35:19
yeah no don't I know it's coming I can hear it oh it's coming we Rudy I haven't
00:35:27
talked to you all night I'm Sor you talk to her I need I need time how are you I'm good how are you what's going on in
00:35:32
your world right now um nothing you feeling you feeling good you feeling bad
00:35:37
what's going what what's what's the news well I'm scared for the election you are
00:35:42
well it's over when this podcast comes out it's over yeah so how do you feel it's over it happened
00:35:51
CA whatever you say yeah so I don't I'm not going to get deported yeah you will
00:35:57
you'll get deported regardless you will why if we have anything to do with it
00:36:03
but you guys are helping me we are we're going to keep you in this country for as long as let me ask you something if if there was some like you know Trump was
00:36:09
like you I want to get everyone out of here do you think you and I have be able to figure out her situation or no yeah
00:36:15
we would use like the the famous card and we'd get I think that would have to go through we'd have to go through Rogan maybe yeah we'd have to go through
00:36:22
somebody to keep her here yeah Rogan would I mean yeah call Trump cuz you'd endorsed them yeah please keep her yeah keep her he's not GNA kick you out he's
00:36:28
not gonna kick you out I promise hopefully no he's more likely to k kick Andre's out for sure at least revoke
00:36:36
right yeah the citizenship because you could find out what kind of trash bag he really is yeah so nothing is going on in
00:36:42
your world um you're in the you're in school right now yeah I don't know if I can say it but I got I got dumped by my
00:36:52
friends wait dumped I'm sorry your boyfriend you mean friends wait your friend tell us what happened let us be
00:36:59
helpful okay but you guys are also the reason why I got
00:37:06
dumbed what the [ __ ] did we do wa wait wait wait wait wait wait
00:37:11
please okay be honest remember when I told you I went to that
00:37:17
party uh Hermosa yeah more details I remember shis oh yeah yeah yeah those
00:37:23
cowboys and stuff there you said yeah and you guys said I needed new friends because my current friends were trash I
00:37:29
didn't we didn't say that that's insane I don't think we said that at all yeah you did we said trash I think so and
00:37:36
then they heard about it from who from the podcast why are they listening why
00:37:41
are they listening to the that's what I'm saying but then I guess they're listening and then what they say and then they ghosted me wow that's they
00:37:49
ghosted you they know this is a comedy pacas we're [ __ ] kidding I explained it in a long
00:37:55
letter apologize for hurting their feelings no no no no no are you being [ __ ] real right now dude okay I am so
00:38:03
livid oh my God first of all don't get me started dude what's going on you shouldn't have to apologize we're joking
00:38:08
we joking around and you never said anything bad you never said anything bad they didn't like that I called them party girls I want I want I it's it's
00:38:17
it's the re you know what I'm glad Trump won I can't I can't that's the point I
00:38:23
can't I can't I can't any I'm done you're done I'm done with it it's gone too far two s that I hate it they don't
00:38:30
want to be called Party Girls my God why is party girl is that in what world would that be like would that be
00:38:37
defamatory party girl I want a party [ __ ] yeah you're a party girl you're a party girl I'm a party guy I'm a party
00:38:44
boy yeah yeah so they didn't so wait they said they called us party clearly
00:38:49
so okay what did they so they called you and go we can't believe no they ghosted
00:38:55
me yeah but that but you're you're assuming that the ghost is attached to that so I I want to know how you know
00:39:02
that they saw it cuz they must have said something somebody someone from that group that's like I'm close to them I
00:39:09
texted her personally and then she said yeah we didn't like what you said in the
00:39:15
podcast and you hurt our feelings okay first of all we hurt the
00:39:21
feelings you didn't do that then I said party girls okay so then you said part party girls and I kind of nodded when
00:39:27
you said you you need new friends it's a [ __ ] it's a it's a comedy podcast I I
00:39:33
I I I I I I explained that I can't do it I'm out I'm I'm out explain it on a
00:39:38
letter nobody reads letters yeah yeah yeah yeah or let let's try to make amends now they're not going to listen
00:39:44
yes would they listen to the last one I don't so party girls but no I mean I don't know their
00:39:51
names so I don't know how to address them listen up party girls no no no how about jules's ex-friends Jules ex-friend yeah yeah
00:39:58
yeah listen to me right now by the way you guys are only creating a monster she's going to become a superhero now because of this right you're fueling her
00:40:04
fire okay so
00:40:11
umg oh I'm so sorry I fell off a building I hit you so hard you fell off
00:40:16
a building yeah dude my God this car what's your car doing on a on the on the roof was going 180 mph on the roof well
00:40:23
I'm an idiot I'm so sorry well you use Morgan and Morgan I'll tell you what it is you want to know what it is Morgan and Morgan is America's largest
00:40:29
injury Law Firm they have over 100 officers Nationwide and more than a thousand lawyers yeah but there's no way
00:40:35
they've they they' have over like20 billion recovered for over 500,000 right they do Morgan and Morgan does you tell
00:40:41
me they have a proven track record of fighting to get you full and fair compensation that's exactly what I'm saying to you really yeah well I mean I
00:40:47
bet you submitting an injury claim with Morgan Morgan it's not easy is it it is so easy it is yeah dude how easy when
00:40:52
you're doing algebra in the dark at night without a rope that's hard that's
00:40:58
hard but submitting a Morgan Morgan submitting an injury claim with Morgan Morgan is easy easy yeah give me one wow
00:41:04
what else is hard raising someone else's kids yeah that's hard submitting an injury claim at Morgan Morgan is that's
00:41:10
got to be easy if you're ever injured you can check out Morgan and Morgan their fee is free unless they win for
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more information go to forthepeople.com badri or dial pound law pound 529 from your cell phone that's forthe people.com
00:41:22
badri or dial pound law pound 529 from your cell this is a paid advertisement
00:41:30
ladies okay Jewels is probably one of the best human
00:41:36
beings I've ever met in my whole entire life fact she's a daughter to me I love her like I my own flesh and blood I
00:41:43
really believe that yeah me too I feel that okay and there's not a bad bone in her body in fact some of this podcasting
00:41:51
mumbo jumbo we're forcing her to do it really to be honest with you because she's so good you know mean she's just
00:41:57
perfect for the show she's brilliant she's innocent right there's just certain dynamics that work well with us
00:42:04
you know her personality and so we bring her on here you know I mean she's she's
00:42:09
game right game a lot of times um she's just kind of going along with what we're
00:42:14
saying she's just having fun she's having fun but is she sometimes she's not I'm having fun yeah yeah but but but
00:42:21
at the end of the day um you know if you take that personally come on keep going
00:42:29
yes all right you're goingon to die you're going to die the world is a scary
00:42:35
so SC I mean not like I'm not I'm just saying no we're not going to kill you yeah we're not going to kill you I'm just saying life is going to just
00:42:41
[ __ ] it's going to eat down on you and press you into the dirt yes all right and just smudge your face deep
00:42:48
into the dirt and then when you once you learn yeah yeah that Jewels is not the are you out of your mind yeah that's a
00:42:55
that's aad life is hard I'm so and Jules is not the culprit here we are we are we're the evil ones yes she's not
00:43:02
she's just having fun innocent yeah yeah and and and if that is going to sever a friendship because of a dumb joke that
00:43:08
him and I made yeah that's not chill yeah we know you're not potty girls we
00:43:13
know that you're intelligent ethical
00:43:19
moral sensitive sensitive for sure weak what say it a little weak weak
00:43:27
yeah weak a little weak weak yeah a little weak tender soft tender soft
00:43:32
pliable pliable yeah yeah malleable manable yeah malleable Mal I like that word valuable but malleable valuable but
00:43:39
malleable and look right we don't know you and we love you and we want you to know that Jules loves you we also and
00:43:45
she's a sensitive Soul too and she doesn't like someone taking a joke that these two morons made to heart because
00:43:52
we're dumb idiots we really are look at the set that we're on the set that we're on we're inside of a McDonald's I mean
00:43:58
give me a break we're morons morons and we're just trying to have fun and please two guys don't take it out on Jules just
00:44:05
having fun two guys just having fun so Jules is a great girl and if it's you know at the end of the day I honestly
00:44:10
believe this it's so your loss that's your loss if you don't to be friends with really because this is a rising person this is a great human yeah she's
00:44:17
Rising he's going to lose a great you know who she is dude oh you know who she is what you ever see Logan Logan Paul no
00:44:24
not Logan Paul the movie Logan oh yeah Logan the origin story Logan yeah
00:44:29
remember the little girl oh yes with the two claws yes right she's from Spain
00:44:35
she's from Spain yeah shut up on Grace okay zoom in on that that that right
00:44:40
there Rudy is Rudy that's Rudy cuz she loves knives right and so hey party
00:44:46
girls you would to [ __ ] with that I wouldn't I wouldn't [ __ ] with that I want that on my side right see that body
00:44:51
right there that was a party boy that was a party boy yeah yeah and she destroyed him right so if you don't call
00:44:59
her back you're going to have war with us that's right you don't want that you don't want that that's bad you called
00:45:04
her back you invite her back to Moose mckill cuties or wherever you guys go it was moose M yeah yeah or whatever right
00:45:10
or Sharky pizza or Woodfire Mexican food whatever it is Pitfire right right and
00:45:17
you go out and hang out with these [ __ ] have fun have fun and just know that you're party girls know that you
00:45:22
are party girls you know you know what I'm going to double down on it you are party girls you're absolutely Party Girls right and uh because we get mad at the things
00:45:29
we are yeah we get mad at the things we are and you got mad cuz somebody called you a party girl because you're a party girl party
00:45:34
girls we did a full [ __ ] we came right back to where we started we don't care yeah you know what I'm good no you
00:45:42
know what I'm going to go this way stop stop good don't ever talk to them again I'm yeah yeah I'm no don't ever talk to
00:45:49
them again I I just thought about it it's [ __ ] uncalled for you deserve cool friends that that have a that don't
00:45:56
care about two idiots saying something dumb yeah it's just awkward going to school cuz I
00:46:01
see them and then I'm oh yeah I don't want you to you know what dude don't see them well school don't see them pretty
00:46:07
small yeah what in school I can see them though you but I I see people that I
00:46:13
don't see this is know you listen to this right this is true this is true dude he did it yesterday yeah I do it
00:46:18
yeah I do it all the time if there's somebody at a party I don't like yeah you don't see them I see them but I don't I didn't know you were there yeah
00:46:24
I saw I see right through them I didn't even see you at the party see right through them yeah okay they're nothing that's great yeah you're in a movie okay
00:46:31
you know I'll tell you something right now there was a movie called Commando love do you remember the Commando who's
00:46:37
in the movie Commando um caros M does m do you know I actually haven't seen Commando yeah yeah who's in it Andre
00:46:44
Arnold durar old Arnolds in Commando right there's a scene in Commando well this is probably I could use probably a
00:46:49
million other movies yeah I don't know I don't know why I used Commando it just came to my mind yeah cuz I just remember
00:46:54
watching Commando as a kid and there was like a couple of people exploding in the background love right and I'm like I
00:47:00
always thought to myself oh that actor not much to do yeah yeah so that was
00:47:05
Commando Mr steel your girl but if you see that right there's a million people that die in back of them they explode they get shot up and whatever right
00:47:11
right A lot of times it's like that be Commando be Commando right shoot him up
00:47:17
shoot him up dude well don't literally but metaphorically shoot him up yeah be that guy okay and with the little Logan
00:47:22
girl like a combo combo deal okayand Logan you're Commando Logan dude you're
00:47:28
Commando Logan in fact when you turn Saturday that's your new name Commando Logan
00:47:33
yeah [Music]
00:47:42
salute that's British that's Bri there's no that's us
00:47:47
no that's British that's no way dude that's British this
00:47:54
yeah my national when you do that is that really British
00:48:01
no what is it that's ours thank you yeah hey yeah it's British yeah it's British
00:48:07
I know you're right that's all right yeah uh so I have a crush you have a little new crush it's a gay that's not gay
00:48:13
whoa ring the bell I finally got you to come out on this show after all these years of doing the three card Monty he
00:48:20
finally picked up it's a smart role it's a smart role oh it is go ahead who who's the crush Charles Milton
00:48:28
so it is gay no I just think he's hot what do you mean oh what do you mean
00:48:34
what do you mean you said no it's not gay it's not gay that's gay that's gay it's not gay how is how isn't cuz I'm I
00:48:42
hung out with him I went bowling with him right so you're gay no he taught me how to bowl wrong guy I've heard that
00:48:48
before what a guy he he he really did he's like dude the under cuz you know how I bowl and I go underhand yeah you
00:48:54
flip it he goes he grabbed my hand like this and he goes grip it like this right keep your eyee on the that's a date no
00:49:00
it's not a date dude he he showed you how to bowl yeah and he goes and then he goes just don't it's not about strength
00:49:06
I want more accuracy this sounds so gay no and I just looked at of his face and and he got and he smiled that guy right
00:49:12
there yeah and I he got so I he I learned and then I had the best score I've ever gotten that he scored well it
00:49:19
was me Charles Milton and Ali Wong on one team and then Jean Sunny you know what I mean from beef and some other
00:49:25
people on the other team and Charles Milton taught me how to [ __ ] Bowl you got a little crush and that's not a crush it's not no I'm not gay you said
00:49:32
crush to start the whole thing I think that he but can I be honest with you ask me if you think I think I see if
00:49:39
he handsome do you think couldn't even get it out I couldn't get it out ask me
00:49:44
yeah ask me you think do you think Charles Milton is handsome yeah and I
00:49:49
can say that as a hetero okay okay seems like do you get butterflies when seeing him it's not
00:49:56
butterfly you know here's what I got excited about can I tell you how I got excited sounds like butterflies doesn't
00:50:01
it yeah no you don't know what butterflies are then you do yeah I think I do and I think you look look at that
00:50:07
right now stare at that for five seconds quietly he was he doesn't look like that stare at that five four three two one I
00:50:17
can actually see it in your eyes you're having like a throwback in your eyes all
00:50:22
right so so you got a little crush no it's not a crush but um it's a man crush so I was at the bowling alley mhm and he
00:50:29
comes he has a motorcycle right so he has a helmet right he has like like one of those Wolverine leather jackets right
00:50:35
and he looks greasy yeah and he just came out took the helmet off and I looked and I I could recognize him
00:50:42
already right but I'm like you know I'm like you know I said don't don't make
00:50:47
the first move don't don't like just be cool you know what I mean yeah so I was just kind of like looking at sound like a girl on
00:50:53
a date no no no I was looking at the B so I see him I was right next to where the rack of the bowling so I was like
00:50:59
sticking my fingers in the holes to see which one what you think that's a thing M no I'm trying to find the right hole
00:51:05
yeah you're I know you are yeah yeah I know you are right and he goes he comes right up to me and he goes I'm a big fan
00:51:11
of yours yeah and I go you want a bowl it goes eat first so we ate first so you
00:51:17
had a date you had a dinner date no kene was there too the one we just talked earlier sure yeah Jean was eating with you yeah us me me Jean and Charles mhm
00:51:25
and we ate um was it ever just you and Charles alone no no did you want it to be no I see
00:51:34
this is kind of [ __ ] I'm talking about at the end of the night this is the kind of [ __ ] I'm talking take f [ __ ] photo off when he said goodbye
00:51:40
no leave it up at the end of the night when he said goodbye did you kind of want to hang some more well he's a talented guy I want to
00:51:47
learn did you want to hang some more yeah I want to learn things from him he taught me how to bowl you wanted to see him again did you exchange numbers no I
00:51:54
didn't do you wish you did nope is just a little cry on the internet to no no this is so stupid what you're
00:52:00
doing right now dude I'm not gay it's ridiculous it's okay no don't do that doesn't work whatever you're it doesn't
00:52:05
matter okay no one cares anyway you don't have man crushes cuz let me say something right now I saw at the party
00:52:11
last night dude I think you do on whom what on whom Chris Porter that's right
00:52:17
man crush you were swinging for you're you're really reaching I was reaching for it yeah fit Simmons yeah you and fit
00:52:22
Simon have a little man crushy he's a great guy we just we just love to he shits on me like the way we joke is the
00:52:28
way you and I joke yeah he's got great he's a great guy great Rhythm he'll talk really good [ __ ] by the way the barbecue
00:52:33
we had last night ajs so good so good my god dude that's the one thing I the
00:52:40
problem I have with can I say go ahead no go ahead here's my problem go ahead I'm going to say my problem now and want
00:52:47
all everyone to hear my problem say it baby okay so it's so funny because that bowling party mhm and Bert's party there
00:52:55
is one Common Thread and guess what the Common Thread is there was something
00:53:01
there at both parties and I think I know you know what it is oh yeah what is it people that don't
00:53:08
deserve to be there no Kidd no it's something you consume I'm kidding something you consume weed
00:53:14
no alcohol it's a food oh cake whose cake Tom Cruz yes Bingo Tom Cruz cake so
00:53:24
there's a cake coconut it's a coconut cake that Tom Cruz in all the party he
00:53:32
gives it as gifts apparently and he at when he goes to events like weddings and whatnot he brings his cake and
00:53:39
apparently it's legendary Tom Cruz cake it's called Tom Cruz coconut cake okay so so when I went to that beef party
00:53:46
where I saw Charles there was six Tom Cruz cakes and they made an announcement Tom Cruz cake they bring
00:53:53
that out right and I ate it I'm like it's pretty good yeah it's fine but then
00:53:59
Bert brings it out hey guys you can't believe it like they as if it was from Tom Cruz's [ __ ] yeah you I mean that
00:54:06
that's the [ __ ] you know I mean the the oven he does poop white you know that right it was almost as if and they're like we got it like it's hard to
00:54:13
find right so I waited in line like everyone yes you did I was excited you were very excited yeah yeah I get the
00:54:18
Tom Cruz kick again you know what I mean but I like the sheet cake better the sheet cake was
00:54:24
better it was so good the she cake the she cake the she cake was good that was so that was so good but the Tom Cruise
00:54:31
cake is good right but when you're eating it you're like if I if if I
00:54:37
didn't know this was Tom Cruz's cake would I go oh best coconut I ever had no
00:54:42
I don't think so no you go this is how it tastes like coconut cake it's a good coconut cake you ever had coconut cake I don't like coconut yeah what if they all
00:54:49
have like there's a matte Damon Danish oh a dam Damon Danish right like a Damon Danish do you think everyone has one
00:54:55
thing yeah I would love to have a Bobby Lee uh um fla oo D like at a party
00:55:02
people like we got it Bobby Lee fla it' probably be what something else what do
00:55:07
you mean flan is typically a Mexican yeah but that's what makes it in intriguing a Korean dude you know what I
00:55:13
mean you be like also Tom the Tom Cruz thing cake isn't something that he made
00:55:19
he found it the Baker and he was like oh this is my thing you think that's good way too try well C Le's FL right well
00:55:27
they have a carrot cake there that's mine last night I ate it it was better than the I thought the coconut cake that's Andrew Santino's carrot cake that
00:55:35
is well I was going to say it was Bobby Lee's carrot cake I'm I'm orange oh [ __ ] that clearly would be my cake oh yeah
00:55:42
maybe they have 11 pound cake I could that could be probably it's much more than 11 pound cake what lemon pound cake
00:55:48
oh lemon pound that's you yeah yeah I think you said 11 pound cake I was like it's that's come on I never said 11
00:55:53
pound cake oh no no the 11 is number you need to lose the 11 pound cake that's what it is okay lemon pound cake you're
00:56:01
right I'm sorry lemon pound cake that's the Bobby Lee Cake yeah not 11 you're kind of more of like a seven layer
00:56:07
dip that's kind of your that's they have that there then maybe I can claim a seven layer dip cake okay anyway okay
00:56:12
lemon pound cake Bobby Lee carrot cake Andrew Santino yeah what's Rudy what would you
00:56:18
have can I be a brownie that's actually really we got Rudy jules's Brownie and
00:56:23
they're like Rudy who no oh they won't do that I love you yeah you got to take
00:56:29
a bite it's like take that that was mean take a bite that was so that could be you right there what U cake you're like
00:56:36
blood sausage take a bite and you know what it tastes like a party girl in your mouth when you take a bite of that stuff
00:56:42
yeah m a party girl in your mouth now would you eat the cake if it was something that you didn't like if it was
00:56:48
good yeah you I mean like this is JD Vance you know croissant if it was bomb
00:56:54
yeah maybe like that what you don't know who made that I a real grade a bigot
00:57:00
could have made that it's really good though still delicious e it yeah uh oh uh oh what's going on oh he
00:57:08
is come on sit down Dax how are you hello Dax Dax hello hi hi hello
00:57:17
hello Dax how'd you feel uh last Tuesday uh good that was fun I was nervous but
00:57:23
that was fun you did such a great job you did a great job did feel like you did well uh it was hard to tell because
00:57:30
it was quite like overwhelming just like I had never done done it in front of that many people but it was fun you
00:57:35
killed thank you can we can we see some of it video before you play that let me what's your uh did you vote Yes okay uh
00:57:42
what's your prediction uh that uh Camala Harris will win
00:57:47
uhhuh when will this come out right now it's already over when this comes out it already Happ okay yeah so now that it's
00:57:53
now we're in the future now right Trump won oh okay yeah yeah yeah okay
00:57:59
so but you're fine yeah look at that look at that all right here we go let's watch this tape hey everyone I hope
00:58:06
you're doing awesome very good so far thank you clap your hands if you like the bad
00:58:14
friends smart I can't hear you awesome so I love going to the
00:58:22
aquarium my favorite thing is always just looking at all the jellyish fish but I always just wish there were some
00:58:27
peanut butter fish as well I um recently went through a
00:58:33
breakup not my fault I promise but um basically she used to get headaches all
00:58:39
the time and she'd get really mad at me because I'd be like don't worry it's only in your head and then she'd be like
00:58:45
no I really have a headache and I'd be like no literally it's just in your head all right honestly honestly so you
00:58:52
felt good uh yeah it was really fun did well the next step is is take it on the road okay yeah yeah did you get a lot of
00:59:00
good did you get a good response online to people hitting you up and like saw the show you did great yeah yeah yeah yeah people were like that's awesome you
00:59:06
performed there cuz people love that place we do yeah it is home to us and what's get did you get some V that night
00:59:13
or what uh no was that a yes no I just went and
00:59:20
just filmed like an outro and then went home right slept now your friend unusual
00:59:25
guy oh he's he's nice you're a nice guy I didn't say he's a nice guy yeah he was
00:59:32
very nice yeah yeah I'm just saying that he was like a little like you okay yeah yeah unique unique definitely yeah yeah
00:59:39
we need your help with something so Rudy we made a joke on the show as we do pretty heavily right and we made a joke
00:59:46
about these girls that Rudy used to hang out with right and it was that it was our fault but then they punished her by
00:59:53
ghosting her and becoming ex-friends because of something we joked about oh wow she needs help getting these friends
00:59:59
back in her life okay we've tried to apologize I don't I don't even know if we did a good job I think so but I think you can can you offer advice to her on
01:00:06
how to get these friends back in her life did you already look into the camera and say what you want to say to them like a a like not a I guess they
01:00:12
don't need an apology but maybe just an explanation right yeah no I sent like a whole letter like a long letter to them
01:00:19
and they still never wellow maybe uh they're not the right friends or if you
01:00:24
do want to still be friends with them you can just say say it to the camera well I mean here's here's the thing I
01:00:30
think maybe it'd be great if you you kind of told her what to say and then she can say it like what to text yeah so
01:00:37
why don't you look in the why don't you pretend like you're you're her and and and then maybe she can just get
01:00:42
something from the way you you like just rehearse it or something you know why don't you look in the camera look in this camera and go and go dear friends
01:00:48
or whatever hey guys I what they say I'm not responsible for I just are am
01:00:54
friends with them or whatever and uh go on their podcasts every week and stuff and just I can't be held responsible for
01:01:02
that kind of thing and let's just hang out and let's ask for their friendship back and can you just please come on and
01:01:10
hang out with me and here's why and here's why I have a lot to offer I'm very friendly um I we've had a lot of
01:01:17
fun times together and actually I might even introduce you to them sometime and y'all could discuss your differences and
01:01:23
uh I'd love to have y'all on the show show to Hash it out and I'll tell you what and I tell you what if you do that
01:01:31
you're going to have a heck of a time um because we maybe we'll go to Six Flags
01:01:38
afterward or we could even I or we can even go uh to the bowling alley or party
01:01:46
and I could teach you oh sensitive word yeah or how about listen or I could
01:01:52
teach you a new language like or I could teach you the new language like any that you want to know that I know and like
01:01:57
I'll give you an example of my English but the other one Spanish and
01:02:05
but here's a little sample Ola yeah May Rudi uh KIRO to Y KIRO to
01:02:15
or me gusta to mea I like you um e m
01:02:22
Amigos yeah s Mal Mal Amigos uh I also I know some Japanese and kichi
01:02:30
yeah talog talog my language oh okay T what is it
01:02:36
how do you say it Tagalog T Tagalog talog Tagalog I I will teach you that
01:02:42
okay and let's hear some of that just make it up talog I love Tagalog T Tagalog yeah yeah
01:02:50
yeah and I think you will too what does it sound like Tagalog yeah yeah like Spanish
01:02:57
let's hear some of it dude um I don't
01:03:10
uh all right that's a good letter I mean did you did you grab anything from that Rudy yeah I mean I feel like you learned
01:03:17
so I think you did it dude I think you really did it dude Dax what what's what what's going on in your personal life
01:03:22
you got any good news you got any anything coming up any any what's going on nothing I'm always just kind of
01:03:28
making videos and that's about it yeah which I like that I we love it I watch
01:03:33
them literally every week everything you put up I watch I really enjoy it what do what's your what's do you have any goals
01:03:40
in life that you're looking forward to um well I guess I en enjoyed doing like
01:03:46
standup in front of a real crowd outside of an open mic and then just maybe doing
01:03:51
more standup and maybe just more videos uh continuing like maybe dating stuff and
01:03:59
maybe oh yeah are you dating anybody now no not at all not even a little bit no
01:04:05
there's no prospects either no no is there a way we do you have sexual urges okay uh too much yeah yeah can I retract
01:04:13
yes yeah and then do you yeah yeah yeah okay okay of course okay
01:04:21
is there a way we could help facilitate maybe you meeting somebody uh not that I know know of why we're good wingman
01:04:28
we're good wingman oh maybe giving me just advice we're good wingman oh like going to a bar kind of thing yeah yeah
01:04:34
we can go to a bar we don't need to go to a bar we there's a ton of places we can go we can go to a bowling alley we could go we go for a hike we can see we
01:04:41
can see babes on a hike and what would you do to to get women to notice you if you were on a hike and saw some well if
01:04:46
we saw a couple of girls we' say hello do either of you know who we are and if they said no we would move on and no no no yeah I'd walk right away
01:04:54
and if I found a new group of and I say hi do you know who we are and they go yes we know bad friends I said fantastic
01:05:00
like you to meet my this is what I would do this is what I would do on a hike can I may I yeah here's let me do you for on a hike
01:05:06
guys guys okay go go ahead go
01:05:12
[Laughter] ahead you see [ __ ] don't throw up on the
01:05:17
show I'm about to do you almost made me do it are you going to no all right so anyway um you see a couple girls no what
01:05:25
I would do is I'd hide you off the trail oh that's smart no yeah hiding on a trail a hike trail that girls love that
01:05:31
you're not I'm not done dude I know I go up to a girl go oh my God my baby just got attacked by a [ __ ] mountain
01:05:36
lion Carlos right smart and they're like well yeah yeah the mountain lion's gone but can you help where's the baby come
01:05:44
over here they follow me right and then you're on the ground right like like is
01:05:50
if I'm your son yeah you are my son you're my baby okay when your arms hurt okay so do it like like yeah I go are
01:05:58
you okay baby I need help yeah but then once you say that I'm gone now it's just
01:06:04
you and the now it's you and me what happened to you baby boy uh just fell while hiking oh God do it hurt yeah do
01:06:12
you want me to kiss it Mountain Li oh there was a mountain lion that knocked me over there was a mountain lion that
01:06:19
did this to you y yep are you okay uh I think I need help well do you want to come back to my house and I have a I
01:06:25
have an ice pack at my house yeah for sure you'd like to do that mhm you would now we're at the house hey lay down lay
01:06:33
down lay down you look her this is my roommate hi I'm Sabrina she sings
01:06:38
Everything I sing everything she has to she has a mental anyway I got to go to work no don't go to work stay with here
01:06:45
with this baby that I found on the trail oh I want to give him a blow job do you
01:06:51
want a [ __ ] uh uh I I'm interested in
01:06:56
uh or yes yeah uh Mi signals wait a minute do you
01:07:02
want to blow J for me or my roommate or both of us uh I don't know we think about it
01:07:10
think about it I got to go to work uh who wants two more oh my God oh my God
01:07:21
me let's flip a coin okay okay heads you won give him head here we
01:07:29
go can I watch um she loves to trick off well get
01:07:35
Bloods okay can I watch sure okay
01:07:40
cool oh my sorry she has to eat a meal first before she gives you AOW job I'm
01:07:46
eating a breakfast burrito let me let me can I just finish my breakfast she always eats breakfast bros before she gives head that's like her thing sausage
01:07:53
and the Sriracha will burn on your penis her lips okay all right she's ready now wait
01:08:00
give me the orange juice here it is pull out your penis
01:08:07
Dax vitamin C you need it before you get some vitamin D here I go I do little
01:08:12
kisses on the thighs first I like to announce everything I'm
01:08:18
doing oh man what do you think bud I'm coming up I'm coming up I'm coming up oh here she
01:08:25
comes do train Cho ch ch ch ch
01:08:30
ch I'm I'm by the little the the twin mountains uh oh there they are here they
01:08:35
are the Rockies the rocky hairy Mountain oh and I'm going up the the the
01:08:44
the mountain the main mountain ooh that was steep well there's a white snow T oh
01:08:50
look snow snow cap snow cap [Laughter]
01:08:56
do it feel good yes thanks yeah yeah if he said that I would stop yeah
01:09:03
you'd have to walk yeah yeah I think I would be watch so pretty good right but I guess we're going to do that we'll take you on a hike and we'll try to get girls that way okay does that sound good
01:09:10
yeah any girl that's out there our very funny and attractive cool friend Dax is
01:09:15
open and available so send him a DM then we'll see what you can get and would I
01:09:21
in that scenario would I you don't have to do any of that you just going have talk to him like people yeah maybe like
01:09:26
um maybe not talk so much okay yeah yeah like always say yes so any anytime a
01:09:33
girl goes can I give you falatio don't don't hesitate and they'll never say that word they won't they'll
01:09:40
never use the word FIA you'll never hear that don't be listening for yeah yeah yeah yeah they'll say anything like what if I'm English can I give you falatia
01:09:48
yeah can I give at me your can I give you f mate what what would they say then
01:09:55
can I suck your con oh yeah yeah yeah can I give you a head yeah but just don't deny it just go yes immediately
01:10:00
you know what I mean yeah and then also um anybody really if anybody asks if
01:10:06
fancy asks Mone yeah and if somebody asks you it does it feel good what' you say yes no maybe not just thumbs up
01:10:14
maybe how about this say oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah say that ready does that feel good oh
01:10:21
yeah honestly dude that's that's not you got to try it again you got to do it again be real D hey does that feel good
01:10:28
oh yeah no no you can't laugh at her like oh yeah that's all you would say
01:10:33
like the Kool like the Kool-Aid man oh yeah yeah that's right Kool-Aid man okay here we go ready oh yeah does that feel
01:10:39
good Dax oh yeah the
01:10:44
better do you like how that feels
01:10:50
mhm you're shy huh yeah yeah and you know what they love you know what they love when they pat him on the head so
01:10:56
say oh yeah and then Pat them Pat her on the head does that feel good Pat the head oh
01:11:03
yeah yeah I'm interested see I mean I love you Dax yeah yeah is Dax does Dax
01:11:09
make a noise you think what [ __ ] noises no like a [ __ ] noise now ask him do you
01:11:15
make [ __ ] noises I don't know yeah yeah you you don't know yeah yeah okay good
01:11:22
Bob does tell him what are you tell him what your noise what do you mean do your noise for
01:11:29
him all right make him feel
01:11:34
comfortable is that really it not really no you want to be real
01:11:45
yeah don't let dude I swear to hey dude hey dude stop [ __ ] around right now
01:11:51
dude okay yeah it's really a serious I'm being intimate right now and I'm being real is you're laughing at my soul
01:11:58
you're cackling at him you're cackling at me okay okay so just look at me
01:12:05
yeah see you're doing it again dude you're you're Dax Dax you got to watch him you got to look at me
01:12:15
dud Dax Dax you're on a date you do it you do it no I think I think you should
01:12:21
you're great finish with his his acting is much better so go ahead go ahead yeah yeah look at
01:12:27
[Laughter]
01:12:32
him don't look away don't yeah don't look away D
01:12:39
oh Dax D you're ruining the moment yeah anyway we love you so much bud when we
01:12:45
do when we do dates on the in in the states we're going to probably bring you on 100% some of these shows and we should do a Dax dating show I think we
01:12:52
should yeah yeah would you like that or no uh I could step out of my comfort zone and try it I would love that yeah
01:12:59
I'd love to I want to find you here of all the jokes we make on this show yeah I do would love to find you love cuz
01:13:06
you're a rad dude I think you deserve somebody [ __ ] cool you're so [ __ ] sweet and cool you're a sweet guy can we
01:13:12
I would love to find someone for you if you'll let us help if you don't want our help fine say [ __ ] you guys say that right now say [ __ ] you guys uh I would
01:13:19
accept your help okay great I think we should do it I think we should do it we'll do a Dax dating show and by the way if there's girls out there right now
01:13:25
that're like I would love to be at least on a zoom to you know to hit up Carlos in the booth at gmail.com that's going
01:13:30
to get you uh submitt I think we should take some middles right now Carlos in the booth at gmail.com girls that want
01:13:36
to be on the Dax dating show we'll have them back we either Zoom you in uh we'll Zoom you in we'll Zoom you in or if you
01:13:41
live in Southern California maybe we'll link you guys up somehow and then the winner we're going to send to a very
01:13:47
nice dinner date that we'll pay for we'll pay for a dinner we'll pay for a night in a hotel whether you use it or
01:13:53
not okay we'll pay for car service we you know what we'll do we'll even get you a tux okay we'll get you all dressed
01:14:00
up for the date does that sound good oh yeah I think it's a good idea Tu seems like a weird first date thing no that's
01:14:05
what all the cool guys do all the cool guys do it that's what every cool guy does yeah yeah you think we're cool we
01:14:11
do it we tux we tux it out we got a tux what would be more impressive Rudy when a guy shows up on a first date than a
01:14:16
tux I mean normal clothes for you well for you
01:14:21
but you're not right for you're right that's the point yeah you're basic every every first date I've ever been on
01:14:27
I I tuxed up when you say car service do you mean limo yeah what do we think we mean now when you say limo what do you
01:14:34
mean yeah what do you mean limbo do you mean like a stretch limousine yeah yeah when we see when we
01:14:40
say limo we mean white van yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's what we mean okay yeah it's a white a windowless van a
01:14:47
windowless van now when you say limo do you think people still get stretch limousines around town uh I guess not really but don't
01:14:55
okay yeah no one does yeah I they haven't made them in 36 years but I do think we'll get you a town car okay how
01:15:03
about that is that one of the like black SUVs a town car is just a black sedan okay cool but how about this do you want
01:15:09
us to get you a limo service for the night a stretch I'll get you a [ __ ] stretch limousine a a prom prom yeah a prom one
01:15:17
I don't specifically no it sounds like you want one he was a little demanding he did say do I get a limo so that's
01:15:24
what you want the white long yeah oh the black one what do you like long black limo or long white LI or we can do like a penguin thing where it's like
01:15:31
purple oh fact you know what it would be great if we dress you like the penguin like the the cartoon version with the
01:15:38
with the top hat black tuxedo you mean Cobble pot Cobble the Cobble pot purple
01:15:44
right we could be minions or you know to we I'd love to do a minion thing can we
01:15:49
be involved yeah will we open the door for you and your date you me mean we have
01:15:55
you know I could be Harley Quinn I don't know so yeah who do you think poison ivy
01:16:01
poison ivy you I think I'll be Catwoman Sandman Sandman Sandman that's not even
01:16:06
the thing no yeah doesn't matter you no I know I need to know I'll be the Riddler okay I'll really no you know
01:16:12
what I'll be Mr Freeze yeah be Mr Freeze perfect be Mr Freeze well this sounds good does this sound good to you Jules
01:16:18
you can be Bane yeah yeah perfect it's perfect well
01:16:24
let's wrap up the show the the right way uh Dax um if you have one and I think you do can you end the show with a joke
01:16:31
on camera a new joke that you've got a new one yeah you can do an old one can I pull out my phone 100% yeah I'd rather
01:16:38
you do that I mean I don't expect you to memorize all that stuff but I'd love you to end the show with a new joke I've
01:16:44
been getting fast food too much lately you know what stop for a second I'm so sorry I love your jokes right but I think a better exercise is to just come
01:16:50
up with something improvised okay give you a topic can I hear the premise though at least I was actually okay go ahead go ahead oh okay so whenever I go
01:16:57
through fast food places they they're always like uh thanks so much you know enjoy your meal and then I say you too
01:17:04
but I'm the one eating the meal not them it's that it's a Brian ran joke uhuh oh
01:17:09
I didn't know it was existed already I didn't me it does let's Twerk It twerk how about this how about this yeah
01:17:14
whenever I go to fast food restaurants a lot of times on the drive-thru they'll say Enjoy your meal you know how hard it
01:17:21
is for me to tell them it's you know how hard it is for me to not tell them to go [ __ ] themselves I think it's something
01:17:27
about let's hear that let's hear I have one let's let's hear you say that ready uh I've been getting a fast food a lot
01:17:32
lately and every time I go through they say Enjoy your meal you know how hard it is for me to not tell them to [ __ ]
01:17:38
themselves perfect or something arbitrary I think something arbitrary and weird cuz he's a weird guy right so
01:17:45
it's like um enjoy your meal they say and you go aloop GoPro Al up GoPro all the way so try all the way Ali up GoPro
01:17:52
all the way so try that and the joke is that that it's like just a funny random thing no it'll make sense when you say
01:17:57
it make sense when you say it yeah yeah I've been getting fast food way too much lately every time I go they're like
01:18:03
enjoy your meal and I say l GoPro all the way beep beep beep beep beep
01:18:09
yeah yeah do it again with the be beep again thank you and do it try to do the
01:18:15
best English accent you can Al GoPro all the way beep beep it's got to be British it's got to be British yeah yeah I've
01:18:21
been getting fast food way too much lately every time I go through the drive-thru though they're like enjoy your meal and I say I'll you GoPro all
01:18:28
the way beep beep and we wrote a joke we just wrote a joke and that's very good all right
01:18:33
let's hear the other one that's not a premise oh that was the one that was not a premise oh uh and oh yeah that was my
01:18:40
fault premise would be like uh like I think my phone is listening to me and then something funny or like something
01:18:47
about red flags or some something or so I think my phone is listening to me yeah
01:18:53
and from what I know they're made in China yeah so I know they can't see
01:18:59
me and what does that mean if these phones are really made in China yeah they can't how come the front-facing
01:19:04
camera lens is very round yeah that's very good I now I see where
01:19:11
you're going right correct yeah yeah and uh we're riffing here by the way yeah we're we're just riffing right right I
01:19:16
think my phone is listening to me boy I hope it doesn't I hope it doesn't hear me when
01:19:23
I'm when I'm what [ __ ] myself [ __ ] myself let's hear you say that yeah I I
01:19:32
think my phone is listening to me I hope it doesn't hear me when I'm [ __ ] myself yeah it doesn't sound right it
01:19:37
doesn't sound right because I think you're rushing the punch you're rushing The Punch Yeah and um how about this you know I think my phone is listening to me
01:19:44
thank God it's not watching me because when I'm looking at it I'm usually jerking on my dingdong can you say that be beep beep
01:19:52
beep be beep has to be there got yeah it's got to be it's got to be there I think my phone is listening to me
01:19:58
thank God it's not watching me because when I'm looking at it I'm usually jerking on my dingdong
01:20:04
be every time I'm looking at my phone I think my phone's listening to me okay I
01:20:10
I think my phone's listening to me wait I think my phone's listening to me thanks thank God it's not watching me MH
01:20:16
I think my phone's listening to me thank God it's not watching me because every time I'm looking at it I'm usually just
01:20:21
look jacking off jerking on my ding-dong beep beep
01:20:26
exactly that was perfect perfect dude that was perfect dud I think we got a new joke yeah so write that down every time I'm looking at it I'm jerking off
01:20:33
my dingdong beep beep yeah by the way go
01:20:38
all the way series if you do a series of jokes that end with beep beep it will [ __ ] yeah beep beep is your is your
01:20:45
calling like a catchphrase catchphrase yeah yeah yeah beep beep is your catch yeah well uh Dax will you look in that camera and say thanks for being a bad
01:20:51
friend thanks for being a bad friend right love you dude
01:21:00
wo
01:21:05
wo
01:21:10
woo wo [Music]
