00:00:00
Coming up on the Bad Game Show. [music] >> Hello. I'm Andrew Santino. >> And I'm Bobby Lee. And welcome to the
00:00:13
bad game show. [cheering] Hey, >> as always, we want to thank Bobby's mom, Omar, for letting us use her basement.
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>> And thank you, >> we love you. >> Can you introduce a guest, Ma? >> Introduce a guest.
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>> Bobby, >> what? Make this quick. Judy's coming over. >> Oh, Judy. >> She's got hot tea to spill.
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>> OH, THAT'S RIGHT. OKAY, MOM. PLEASE JUST INTRODUCE the guests. >> Today's guest are Eric Andre and Bert
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Crest. >> YUMMY. [cheering] >> Say hi. Really, mom? Yeah. Behave. >> Yeah. Behave. Behave. We have to behave.
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[laughter] >> Guys, for people that don't know who you are, >> who are you guys?
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>> I'm I'm Eric Andre. I'm a comedian, you know. >> Why are you asking me that? I've known
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you for 25 years. I UNDERSTAND THAT. BUT I'VE KNOWN THE THREE OF YOU LONGER. Are
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is there film in those cameras? >> Is this a podcast? >> Hey. Hey. All right. [laughter]
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Sit down. I saw you. You were really ripped your shirt off. I ripped your shirt off. I swear to God.
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>> Behave. >> Okay. Sorry. Yeah. For you, sir. Who are you? Why are you calling her Omaha? Huh?
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That's my mom. Say ma. >> No. Omar. >> Oma. Omar is in Korea's mom. >> Well, last time I checked, we're in the
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United States of America. >> USA. USA. USA. >> WHO ARE YOU, SIR? >> I'm Bert Chryser. I'm a stand-up
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comedian. I'm just going to follow the rules. >> Take my shirt. Everybody, [laughter]
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sir, >> I ripped your shirt off at this. >> Why did you do that? >> Cuz I thought it was funny.
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>> Yeah. Yeah. I [laughter] didn't like that. >> But also, but you got skinny and I don't
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like he's getting smaller. like [laughter] you're getting smaller. You got I liked
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what it looked like. >> He's a big fat big stomach. >> Okay. [laughter] >> Yeah.
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>> Would it be nice [laughter] to my mom? That's from my mom, dude. >> Let's start this game. Let's start the
00:02:36
game. >> Let's start off with a fun game we call good head. >> On your boards are going to be photos of
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the top six bald heads. Write the name of each baldy beneath the photo. Each correct answer is going to earn you two
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points. This is your point. You're going to have 60 seconds to figure it out. You
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can figure it out. >> You guys are going to have 60 seconds right here to figure it out. It's not
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that hard. Take guess. >> Ready? Go. Come on, Bert. Come on, Bert. You got this, Bert. You know, bald.
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>> Yes. [laughter] Very good. Very good. >> Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. >> I love bald men.
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>> You love bald men. >> She loves bald. >> She really does. >> Is your pops Is your pop still above?
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>> He's dead. >> Yeah, it's Yeah, he's a skull. He's dead. He's dead. [laughter]
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>> He's all bone. So, yeah. >> 30 seconds, boys. You better get those bald answers in. 30 seconds.
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>> 30 seconds. >> I think I've got two of three of them. Right. >> You do. >> Here we go.
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>> No, I know. I'm going to hold yours. I'm going to hold >> I'll hold Berts. >> Hold Berts.
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>> All right, Bert. You [music] got 15 seconds to go here on the Bad Game Show. >> Now, the name of the show a little bit
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on the nose, >> huh? >> The Bad Game Show is a little >> Your show was called the Eric Andre
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Show. >> I DIDN'T [laughter] NAME IT. I didn't name it. >> And that's 60 seconds.
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>> I didn't name it. >> Now, there we go. >> Okay. >> Interesting to not name your own show
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again. >> I [laughter] I did it. All right. >> I really I fought the name. >> It really backfired a little bit on you,
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didn't it? [laughter] >> All right. Here we go. Here are the names of the Baldies. And let's go
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through the order before we reveal. Uh, who did you have here in this top? This >> I think it's a me.
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>> He said it was a knee. And you said it was who? >> Tojack. >> Tojack. LET'S SEE. IT IS. [screaming]
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NAILED IT. I NAILED IT. I NAILED IT. >> THIS IS A CAR. >> OBVIOUSLY A KNEE. >> THIS IS A CAR.
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>> Wait a minute, guys. >> Yeah, >> he nailed [laughter] it. >> He nailed it. >> Let's move on.
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>> This second one here you said is Shaq or Jordan? >> One of the two. >> Shack or Michael Jordan.
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>> And this is the raw. [laughter] >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. HERE WE GO. >> SAMUEL JACKSON. [cheering]
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NO ONE GETS ANY POINTS. >> NOBODY GETS ANY POINTS. OKAY, this one. >> You thought it was Jeff Bezos and Bert.
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Who did you think it was? >> Sigura. Tom. >> Tom Sigura. >> WOW. >> CROYER. >> YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR BEST FRIEND AT ALL.
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>> YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR BEST FRIEND AT ALL. [laughter] >> SO WOW. YOU CALL HIM A FRIEND, HUH?
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>> ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE. >> David Cross. You said David Cross. I said Mike Judge.
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>> Mike Judge. And is IN FACT WOODY HARL. >> WOODY HARELSON. ALL RIGHT. AND THE MIDDLE ONE.
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Middle one. Middle one. You said Vin Diesel. And who? >> Oh, you're right. You're right. You're
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right. You're right. >> Dr. Phil. Yeah. >> THAT'S OF COURSE [screaming] IT. >> And finally, WHO IS IT RIGHT? YOU said
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Howie. Who did you say? >> I said Morpheus. >> Morpheus. That is OF COURSE THE [screaming]
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>> WELL, I wow. >> What's the score, ma? >> Two to two. >> Perfect. That's really good. How you
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guys feeling? Two points. I really got one thing right. >> Don't worry about it.
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>> Don't worry about it. >> Everything's fine, dude. Okay, >> let's move it on. >> Hey, I auditioned for Bobby's show on
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Comedy Central. >> You did. >> I came close. >> You came so close. >> I came close.
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>> Yeah. Yeah. >> Remember that? That was fun. >> That was fun. >> For the next game, LAVINE OR SPARROW.
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>> WE'RE GOING TO READ YOU A quote and you're going to tell us who said it. Adam Lavine and a horny [music] DM or
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Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean. Buzz in right here with a correct answer. They're worth two
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points. So, you get to buzz in. Not yet. Bert. >> Here we go. The first one. Is this a
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horny DM from Adam Lavine? He's cheating. I see Bert's eyes. >> I'm Is this Jack Sparrow? Go ahead.
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>> I may need to see the booty. >> Who said that? Buzz in. Bert. >> ADAM LAVINE.
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>> ADAM LAVINE. >> OKAY. This thing is hard to use. [laughter] >> It's so simple.
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>> All right. Here we go. On the second one. >> You're not making any sense at all, but
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I like it. >> Yeah. JACK SPARROW. >> JACK SPARROW. >> I WANT TO JUST TALK to them and then
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using this seems super like why can't I just say Jack Sparrow? >> You would just buzz in before he does
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cuz it's a game show. >> Yeah. >> Here we go. Ready? >> I'm a little drunk. I'm not going to
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lie. >> I said that. >> Oh, Eric. >> ADAM LAVINE. >> YEAH. >> YEAH. [screaming] NOW YOU GOT IT.
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>> NOW YOU GOT you understand. >> All right. Here we go. Holy Holy. That body of yours is absurd. YOU GOT IT.
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ADAM LAVINE. >> YES. [screaming] >> NOW I'M ON FIRE. >> GOD DANG. I forgot how to use this.
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[laughter] >> Are you ready? >> Well, hang on. It's Hang on. >> I'm Captain Jack Sparrow.
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>> Jack Sparrow. >> Adam, are you sure? >> Yeah. Very good. That would be a cool
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DM. [laughter] >> Omar, what's the points right now? How's it going? >> 8 to six.
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>> Who's in the lead? >> ERIC. >> ERIC, HOLD ON. HANG ON. >> I definitely answered some right.
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>> You answered some right, but you're not in the lead. >> I think it's wrong. I think it's tied.
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>> I make the score. >> That's right. That sounds right. >> Cool. [laughter] >> North Korean or South Korean. And she
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said, >> Anyway, >> guys, you've heard of wine tasting, but you probably never heard of white
00:07:53
tasting. We're going to bring you a flight of four white ingredients that white people love to use. You're going
00:07:58
to blind taste test them. Okay. So, here you go. So, Omar, you're going to come over here and Dax, you're going to come
00:08:03
over here. We're going to blindfold. You guys, put on a blindfold. Put on your blindfold. You're going to tell us what
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it is. You're going to whisper in something. >> I would be more comfortable if I was
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closer to Santino. >> Yeah, that's right. >> Okay. So, >> cuz I think you you're harboring
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resentment cuz I tried to rip your shirt off. >> You want to give you come or something?
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>> Yeah. Well, I didn't until you said that. >> Bert's [laughter] already in. Thank you,
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Bert. Bert is already in. >> Cover your eyes. Cover your eyes. >> Okay, I'm covering it. All right. All
00:08:27
right. All right. Here we go. So, here's the deal. >> You're crazy. >> So, so Eric, right to your right to your
00:08:33
left is is Bobby's mom. Do you see her or feel her there next to you? She's right next to you. Okay. So, you're
00:08:38
going to whisper the answer to her in her ear. Okay? You're not going to say it out loud because you don't want Bert
00:08:42
to hear. And of course, Bert, to your right, reach out to your right hand, Bert. That's Dax. You're going to
00:08:46
whisper to Dax what it is. >> Was that your T? I did I forget to wear deodorant or is that Bobby?
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>> That's uh that's Bobby. >> Okay, here we go. This is the first item up. You're going to taste this and
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you're going to whisper. You're going to go ahead and whisper. >> Where is it? >> He's going to He's going to Hold on.
00:09:02
He's going to give it to you. >> What do I do? >> Reach Reach slowly out to your No, just
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taste. Just They're going to put up to your mouth and taste. Give it to him. Give it to him.
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>> Okay. Can I buzz? >> No. You whisper to her what it is. >> I know it is. >> Okay. Whisper and whisper to Dax. He's
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going to write it down. >> Okay. They got what it is, right? >> Okay. Number two. Go ahead. Number to do
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number two. There you go. >> Nice and easy. >> Can I have some? >> It is going to get stuck.
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>> You put near my mouth and I'll help guide it into my mouth. Okay. >> Like my first day on the porn set. Can I
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have some? >> Where is your Where are you putting it? >> I'll put you by your hand. [laughter]
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Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Okay. Whisper what it is. >> Whisper what it is.
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>> I think so. >> Okay. >> Let's get number three. Has he done number three? There he goes.
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>> Number three. >> Little taste. >> Little taste. Number three. [laughter] >> Put it near my hands.
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>> Okay. Give him more. >> Feed the little baby bird. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> All right. He knows.
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>> Okay. Can I take this mask off? >> No. No. No. No. Hold on. Please. >> No. No. No. No. No.
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>> You said it was four. I know, but B's not done yet. >> Lactose intolerant. >> I don't like the way you're licking
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that, dude. That's weird. >> I like it. >> Hold on. >> All right. [laughter] So,
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>> you got it. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Hold on. >> Try different. >> Burn. It's not a vagina.
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>> Oh, I know what that is. >> Yeah. >> Okay. Okay. Whisper white, though. >> You got to whisper. Okay.
00:10:23
>> You got to whisper. >> Whisper it. Whisper it. Is that >> Okay. Can I take them out? No. Not yet.
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Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Because I'll tell you why.
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We have to clear. Hold on. >> We have to clear. Hold on. So, hold on. Hold on. >> Okay. Did you write everything down?
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>> Yes. >> All right. So, give me give me >> Bobby once told me he quit cold turkey
00:10:41
on Matt TV and he was [ __ ] plasma down his legs and then give it to Bobby. >> You tell old stories like that.
00:10:47
[laughter] >> Do you remember that? >> Yeah, I do. I remember that, dude. >> And Ari Spears went, "What the is
00:10:52
wrong?" >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> Okay. So, hold on. Hold on. Stop. Before you remove
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it, >> here we go. >> Oh, you know what that was? Once you remove when we get the questions out and
00:11:01
the answers, you guys are going to tell us something in the room has changed dramatically. Tell us what it is. First
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one gets five points. Go ahead. Take them off. Take them off. What happened? >> What happened? What changed in the room?
00:11:11
Bobb's a geisha. >> Oh my god. >> Yeah. [laughter] >> You're like, >> I'm a white guy.
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>> He's a white guy. >> Hello. My name is Chad. >> Hi, Chad. How are you? >> Okie dokie, papella.
00:11:24
>> Wow. >> What do you do for a living, Chad? >> I'm an entrepreneur, buddy. Yeah, bucko.
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>> What business are what businesses do you do? >> Never mind. Let me see your papers.
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>> I don't have any papers. >> All right. >> I'm from America. >> America first, buddy.
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>> Huh? >> You look like You don't look white. >> Okie dokie. >> You look like Kabuki.
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>> You look like pumpkin memoirs of a geisha. >> Oh, you want us to call? >> Wait, why? YEAH.
00:11:49
>> WHAT DOES HE GODDAMN IT? AMERICA FIRST. >> OKAY, CHAD. >> All right. Number one, what did Eric
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think it was? Um, yogurt. >> That's wrong. Number one was sour cream and Bert got it right.
00:12:01
>> Yes. I knew sour cream was in the middle. >> Number two, my mother wrote two lines.
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[laughter] >> Yogurt. >> I I said yogurt twice. >> ALL RIGHT. YOGURT WAS RIGHT. [laughter]
00:12:13
>> PLAIN GREEK YOGURT. >> How do you look older than your own mother? [laughter]
00:12:20
>> Did you stop drinking? Yeah. [laughter] Yeah. It's bad. >> Yeah. Sorry. >> Number three.
00:12:29
>> Number three. >> Bert said cottage cheese. What did he say? >> He said cottage cheese.
00:12:33
>> ALL RIGHT. AND NUMBER FOUR. BERT said pimento cheese. >> Yeah, >> that's wrong. What did he say?
00:12:38
>> Sour cream. >> Sour cream. >> Sadly, it is cream cheese. >> CREAM CHEESE. >> CREAM CHEESE.
00:12:44
>> CREAM CHEESE, BUDDY. >> Cream cheese. Sorry about that, guys. Thank you so much. Thank you, Dax. All
00:12:49
right, let's go. >> And now, a word from our sponsors. Shopify. >> Listen everybody, we have an online
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Additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply. See Midmo Mobile for details. >> This next category of questions is
00:15:18
called cheat day. >> Buzz in when you think you know. >> Get the buzzer. Answer is going to be
00:15:24
worth two points. Cheap day. Here we go. Ready, Bobby? [laughter] >> What was Ted Bundy's
00:15:32
>> What was Ted Bund? [laughter] Dude, you got to excuse me for a second. Wait, wait, wait. No, hold on, hold on,
00:15:40
hold on a second. Hold on. On a second. [laughter] No, no, hold on a second. Hold on a second.
00:15:43
>> This is probably not going to be in the show. >> No, no, no, no. [laughter] I don't want to talk to you for that.
00:15:49
>> What do you got to talk about? >> Yeah. Yeah. What the are you doing? [laughter]
00:15:54
>> I'm having fun on your game show. It's a bad game show. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But that's so
00:15:58
insulting the way you do that. >> Yes. It's It's the same [ __ ] you did a month ago at the comedy store. What did
00:16:04
I do? >> From behind me. >> I tried to rip your shirt off. It's funny. >> Very funny.
00:16:09
>> It's like this. >> It's the comedy store. It's not the sad store. >> Yeah. Yeah, I understand. From behind.
00:16:15
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Well, I got I had to sneak up on >> What if Bobby tried to rip your shirt
00:16:19
today on our show? >> Yeah, that's fine. I don't care. I'm naked half the time I do comedy.
00:16:23
>> All right. So, we're good, you and I. >> I don't know about that. Seems very tense.
00:16:29
>> Yeah. Yeah. [laughter] You seem like you got a lot of school shooter energy coming at me. You're a
00:16:34
poor mom. Why? >> I know. I know. You >> What's the score? >> Score is a 17 to 15.
00:16:42
>> Who's in the lead? >> Eric. >> Eric is still in the lead. HERE'S THE LAST QUESTION.
00:16:47
>> BORK. BORK. >> BORK. >> OH, BORK. BORK. >> BORK. BORK. BORK. BORK. >> BORK. >> BORK. [laughter]
00:16:55
>> BORK IS IN THE LEAD. ALL RIGHT. I should have drank that [laughter] milk. >> Pork has the lead.
00:17:07
>> Pork, you're in the lead. >> Pork, you're in the lead. [laughter] >> In the lead.
00:17:10
>> Well, cuz >> All right, let's get the last question out. Here we go. [laughter]
00:17:15
>> Bork. >> It's a Korean. >> What? Same things in Korean. That's >> Oh, Burke Chryser in Korean is boring.
00:17:29
[laughter] >> That's true. >> All right. What is it? >> Next question. All right. What was Ted
00:17:34
Bundy's last meal before being executed? A. Two pints of mint chocolate ice cream. B. Chicken cordon blue with apple
00:17:43
pie alamode. C. T-bone steak, fried chicken, cherry Kool-Aid, peacon pie. Or D. Steak and eggs, hash browns, toast,
00:17:52
milk, juice, and coffee. >> Eric. BAKING EGGS. >> YES. >> YES. [cheering] YES. HE KNOWS HIS SERIAL KILLER'S last
00:17:59
name. >> I know. Me, too. I thought I was going to say Kyo. >> What? >> That's the house that [laughter] he
00:18:05
killed ALL THE PEOPLE IN. [screaming] >> HEY, ARE you dating anybody, Bobby? >> I have a girlfriend now. Yes.
00:18:10
>> Good for you. >> Thank you. How about How did you ask her out? >> How What do you mean how did I See, it's
00:18:15
this kind of questioning, dude. >> I want to pour milk on your feet so bad. >> I know, but so bad.
00:18:20
>> That's a normal question. What the What's the problem? like to have dinner with me one night and she said yes.
00:18:26
>> Where did you take her to dinner? Why? Why? Why? I took her to Boa. Why is that
00:18:29
a problem? >> I took her to Boa. >> Why is that a problem? >> Do you have a girlfriend?
00:18:32
>> Why is that a problem? >> You have a Dude, I >> Why is that a problem? Why is that a
00:18:36
problem? Me asking you that, >> dude. Dude, what is your problem right now, >> Bobby? Yeah, we have a
00:18:41
>> You're crazy. You're crazy, >> dude. I sort of You're being crazy. >> Do you have a girlfriend?
00:18:46
>> Do you have you How long have you been dating this girl? >> A year. >> Okay. Why is that a controversy?
00:18:51
>> It's not a controversy. It's the tone. There's [laughter] no tone. I thought >> you thought Do you feel the tone?
00:18:56
>> I've never been on a game so much. >> I KNOW. I KNOW. BUT >> this is very host forward. [laughter]
00:19:03
>> Have you met her? All right. Anyway, you guys. Anyway, let's move on. >> Why don't you introduce her to the mom?
00:19:08
>> You'll meet her one day, Mom. >> Right. Right. Immediately. [laughter] >> Why? No, she's white.
00:19:14
>> Oh, she's white. >> Yeah, just like me, buddy. >> Cuz you're a shame. [laughter]
00:19:18
>> I like she's white. >> No, listen what she said. Say it again. >> I like that she's h white. [laughter]
00:19:28
>> You know, guys, let's continue. You know, guys, we have >> Did you date a white woman to impress
00:19:32
your mom? And you would never date a black woman? >> Oh, no. I've dated a black woman.
00:19:35
>> You know, guys, we have a lot OF FUN HERE. >> YEAH. [laughter] YEAH. YEAH. >> But some things are serious, Bob. Right.
00:19:40
>> So, now we'd like to take a moment of silence for all the victims. >> Let's take a moment of silence for the
00:19:44
victims. >> For all the victims. Okay. Okay. >> [laughter] >> He got a phone call.
00:20:15
>> And that's it. >> That's it. Thank you guys. been a black person, I wouldn't have done that.
00:20:20
>> Okay. All right. For our [laughter] All right. >> See, that's the energy I was talking
00:20:29
about earlier. Dude, >> don't touch me. >> Get your hands off me. >> Cuz I'll tell you why, dude.
00:20:33
>> Get your hands off me. >> Ever since I've known you, right? What? >> When you were a kid doing comedy, you've
00:20:38
always been like this. >> No, I have not. >> Yeah. Yeah. Physical. >> I've only been polite to
00:20:42
>> No, no, no. You've always been physical with [laughter] me, dude. >> I've only been polite to you.
00:20:46
>> No, that's not true. Yeah, cuz I'm smaller. >> You're always gaslighting me. >> You were always gaslighting me.
00:20:52
>> You had that mad TV ego. >> That's another [laughter] thing you said. >> You had a mad TV ego.
00:20:57
>> NO. NO. THAT WAS A mad TV. >> Tell them what you said. Tell them what you said about me.
00:21:01
>> I'll say I'll say it out loud. No problem. No problem. What did I say? Say it out loud.
00:21:05
>> What did I say? >> You said that when I got Matt TV >> Oh. When I didn't get Matt TV, you
00:21:10
treated me different. >> I treated him different. And that's not true. >> That is absolutely true. This guy was
00:21:15
total Hollywood. >> You guys fighting with that makeup is so funny. >> Also, can I just say this, right? That's
00:21:20
loser talk. >> No. Oh, see this was the loser talk. >> Yeah, this was the tune. >> Guess what? You became a big thing.
00:21:28
>> This was the tune. >> Yeah, [laughter] right. >> So, sorry. I love I love you so much,
00:21:32
dude. I love you so much. Give me >> Sorry. I was I love you. >> No. No. You're going to hurt me.
00:21:35
>> I'm not going to hurt you. YOU CAN DESTROY ME. >> I can't hurt you. >> Yeah. I can't just hurt you. YOU CAN
00:21:40
DESTROY ME. >> WELL, HOW SO? >> BECAUSE YOU'RE PHYSICALLY STRONGER than me. THAT'S NOT TRUE.
00:21:44
>> AND FASTER. >> THAT'S NOT TRUE. >> OKAY, sit back down. Let's continue the show. All right. Anyway. All right. For
00:21:49
our next [music] game, >> but when I didn't get Mad TV, you went weird. >> No, I didn't. That was for Mad TV
00:21:55
>> like 20 years ago. And I didn't get it. And then he wouldn't make eye contact
00:21:58
with me. >> That's not true at all. That's >> Yeah, he went a little bit Hollywood to
00:22:01
notice if he's making eye contact, [laughter] >> but [laughter] >> the behavior changed.
00:22:12
>> No, I didn't. might change. But dude, what the you talking about? >> Yeah. Yeah.
00:22:15
>> It's perception. How you perceive. No. No. No. >> Yeah. It's how you [laughter] perceive.
00:22:19
>> I talked to Santino. All right. >> I talked to Andrew about it and you never told me.
00:22:23
>> I talked to Andrew about it. >> Yeah. Anyway, >> our next game. >> Our next game was that moment of
00:22:29
silence. You guys guess the closest to get how long the moment of silence was gets three points at a $5 donation to a
00:22:36
charity in your name in 90 seconds. And what's your guess? >> Uh 60. >> 60. Omar, how long was that moment of
00:22:41
silence? 27 [music] >> 27 seconds. >> That can't be true. >> Did you clock it for a bour?
00:22:49
>> So, Oman, what was it? >> 27. And it goes to Bork. >> Bork. >> You said >> you said 60. You said 90.
00:22:57
>> See, if I got on Mad TV, you'd be treating me different. >> Here we go. >> Here we go. It's like old resentments.
00:23:02
Hold on. Stop. >> Hold on. No, no, no. Don't stop. [laughter] >> Get away. I'm serious.
00:23:07
>> I know. It's going to hurt my you know and when you became >> I talked to Andrew about when you became
00:23:12
I talked to Andrew about it. >> And [laughter] when you became famous you never invited me to your parties. I
00:23:15
hurt my >> I invited you to my party this this last weekend. >> Yeah. After you pulled my shirt and we
00:23:20
talked about it. >> That's what we had to go through. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We had to go through
00:23:22
that. [laughter] >> We had to go through that. >> Okay. No, I'm being real, dude. I know.
00:23:25
>> He's acting so weird. >> I know. He called me about it. >> I talked to Andrew about it for a long
00:23:29
time. >> Thank you for inviting me to your party. >> I always invited you. >> No, you never did.
00:23:32
>> Have you ever invited me to your birthday? >> I never had one. >> Have I? >> You've had 50 minutes. [laughter] Yeah.
00:23:37
Yeah. I've met a lot. You know, I've invited YOU. YOU'VE NEVER COME. >> You've never invited me to.
00:23:42
>> You've never did I invite you to my birthday? >> Yes, I DID. AND GUESS WHAT? I SHOWED UP.
00:23:48
>> NO, I KNOW. AND I'VE NEVER BEEN INVITED TO YOUR BIRTHDAY. >> YES, YOU HAVE. IN FACT, CAN I JUST SAY
00:23:52
THIS? SINCE THIS IS what this show's about right now. Okay. >> Yeah. >> I've never seen him at your party. I
00:23:57
know he gets an invite, but he never shows up. >> I've been to his house many times. Yours
00:24:01
every time. >> Yep. [applause] >> Okay. >> They invite me to stuff. You You don't
00:24:05
invite me to stuff. >> Anyway, let's move on. And then all the girlfriends. White, white, white, white.
00:24:08
One black. Shortest relationship. >> Wow. [laughter] Shorter than Black History Month.
00:24:15
>> Wow. >> What's the score? >> 2423. >> Who's leading? >> And why don't you marry one of these?
00:24:21
>> Fork is in the lead. >> Fork's in the lead. Why don't you marry one of these poor girls? Time to play.
00:24:28
>> Uhoh. Uhoh. WHO'S HERE? >> OH, JUDY. JUDY. Judy's here. >> Judy. Give it up for Judy.
00:24:37
JUDY. >> JUDY. I DON'T KNOW WHY. >> I got to tell you something about Judy. She'll be a little bit drunk. Sometimes
00:24:42
she'll show up hammered. This is a great girl. She's a great girl. No, >> she's friends with my mom.
00:24:46
>> She's friends and she's a little drunk and she'll just show up for stuff sometimes.
00:24:50
>> They met during >> She's rad. She's a really nice lady. >> JUDY. >> JUDY. HOW ARE YOU?
00:24:54
>> HI, JUDY. HOW ARE YOU? SAY HI. Move the lamp. Move the lamp. Judy. You know, my
00:24:58
mom and Judy met during co, right? And how did you guys meet? Um grocery shopping with our masks on.
00:25:06
>> Yeah, with the mask on. They were barbecue that you threw where you made >> after co
00:25:10
>> right after those chicken breasts you made were amazing. >> They were so good. AND THE PEPPERONI
00:25:15
PIZZA. THE pepperonis >> were perfection. >> Okay, the woman's breast is out. >> One point. [screaming]
00:25:24
>> I can't. There's a mirror. There's a LAMP [laughter] IN MY LEG. >> JUDY, I'M SO SORRY THAT BERT WOULDN'T
00:25:30
SAY ANYTHING. >> Thank you. Bye, boys. Good. I got to get out of here. >> All right. Bye.
00:25:35
>> Bye, Judy. That >> Now, wait a minute, Bert. Why didn't you say anything to Judy?
00:25:40
>> I set it up cuz you set it up. >> Bert, [laughter] wait. What do you mean? >> No, you set it up. No wonder you were
00:25:46
laughing so hard. >> The lamp was right in the way. >> What are you talking about, Bert?
00:25:50
>> What are you talking about, Bert? >> The woman's breast was hanging out of her shirt.
00:25:54
>> Eric was a decent man and said, "Miss, your tit is out. Her titt, you sat there
00:25:58
like a animal." Like an animal. Pork. >> Bork. Yeah. [laughter] >> Bork. >> Bora.
00:26:05
>> Bora. >> Bork. >> You want to explain yourself? Bork. >> Yeah. >> Bork. Explain.
00:26:11
>> Explain yourself. [laughter] >> Oh, he saw it. >> You really couldn't see it.
00:26:15
>> Yeah. Yeah. >> Cuz the lamp was blocking him. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Oh, I WAS LIKE, WHY IS
00:26:19
>> HE'S MAKING UP EXCUSES? >> He's a pervert. >> You're a pervert, [laughter] kid. Yeah.
00:26:24
You >> Yes, he did. >> I DIDN'T STAND UP. [laughter] NO. I WANTED TO STAND UP AND LOOK.
00:26:32
>> NO, YOU'RE ALIVE. [laughter] You lie. >> You lied, boy. >> I'm a good PERSON BECAUSE I LET THE LAMP
00:26:40
BLOCK IT. GOD, >> you're crazy. >> You're a crazy person, dude. Out of your mind, dude. You're out of your
00:26:48
Bobby [laughter] when I go up. >> I will hold you. >> You bring me down, I'll bring you up.
00:26:52
>> I will hold your head under water till the bubbles stop coming up. >> All right. You see that poster over
00:26:56
there? >> Sorry, I didn't book Mad TV. Dude, I >> He's Yeah, you've been doing this the
00:27:02
whole episode. Have it out. >> Bobby, just fight him already. >> Bobby, when you were on Matt TV, you had
00:27:07
a lot of problems >> and you told me about him. >> Okay. >> YOU HEY, HEY, HEY. YOU TOLD ME about You
00:27:15
told me about him. You told me about karate, dude. I You're doing it wrong. >> And my whole form. Look at this lock.
00:27:22
>> Stop. >> Do you see this lock? Relax. Relax. >> It hurts, doesn't it? Not >> really. It [laughter] doesn't.
00:27:30
Okay. [laughter] >> Your face. >> He's got a little vitiligo. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:27:36
>> Anyway, >> you all right? >> That took a lot of energy. That's a hidden move from the ancient times.
00:27:43
>> Bobby looks like he's in that 80s movie where Andrew's like, "Don't tell them
00:27:46
you're Asian. They'll never [laughter] know." And the makeup's starting to wear off on his nose. Like the mustache is
00:27:52
falling off. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Do it. Why don't you date a Why don't you Hold on a second. Why don't you date
00:27:57
a Korean woman? >> Yeah. Hold on a second. >> Why don't you ever defend me? >> I'm annoyed. [laughter] Oh, you are. You
00:28:04
are. Yeah. Never defend me when I'm in this these kind of squables. >> You got to fight your own fight.
00:28:08
>> No, no, no. You're one of my best You're my best friend, right? You sit there
00:28:11
with that stupid smile. >> You got to fight your own fight. Guys, stop. You're not known for that.
00:28:16
[laughter] >> Yeah. And also, YOU'RE MY ALSO, YOU'RE MY VERY good friend, right? No.
00:28:20
>> No. I'm American. I'll defend you. It's what we do. >> Yeah. Yeah, >> but we'll come in when we need it
00:28:24
because if we're profiting from it. >> Oh, that's right. >> Right. It's fine. >> And now a word from our sponsors.
00:28:34
>> Rocket money. I'll tell you the best gift. I know you've you've given me many
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how you saved me money. I had a lot of subscriptions. Yeah. >> That had I had no I had no awareness
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about them. I was bleeding out money. And you saved me thousands of years. Thank you so much. Through Rocket Money.
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>> That's right. Rocket Money can track subscriptions, has the ability to cancel
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unwanted ones within the app in just a few taps, saving you over 880 million in cancel subscriptions. That's pretty good
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money. Talk about uh automatic transaction categorization across accounts, plus customizable categories
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and tags to reveal spending patterns. Big deal. So, I'm telling you, here's the best part of Rocket Money. They can
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help you set budgets and goals, which is actually very massive. A lot of people don't know how to do that with their
00:29:15
money, myself included. I've never been good at that. I need to set certain budgets and goals. Um, and I'm telling
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you, it consolidates checking, savings, loans, and investments into a single dashboard to give the users a clear view
00:29:25
of their financial picture. Like Bobby, he saw what he was spending, and I said,
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"Get rid of that. Get rid of that. Get rid of that. Get rid of that." And they have automated savings now that grow
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>> Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your
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spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. >> Why don't you let Rocket Money help you
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reach your financial goals much faster? Join at rocketmoney.com/game show. >> That's rocketmoney.com/game
00:29:53
showow. >> rocketmoney.com/game show. >> Do you smell that? >> It's time for >> drunk driving. The rules are simple. The
00:30:01
first person to get their car around that track and to the finish line is going to win 10 points. One last thing.
00:30:06
Don't forget your drunk driving goggles. Bert, you might need these. There you go. Strap those on. Your drunk driving
00:30:13
goggles. >> Drunk. There's a lot of rules. Oh, whoa. Whoa. They really are. >> Yeah. So we can help you up here. Let's
00:30:19
help you guys up. My head's bigger than this. >> Yes, you are. >> I don't trust the game. Come over this
00:30:26
way. >> I don't trust you. >> There you go, B. >> Get away from me. >> So stand next to Eric. Go right next to
00:30:31
Eric. All right. So you've got a remote. Don't do anything yet. And you've got to
00:30:34
Hold on. When I say go, you guys are going to drive these cars. Look down. You see the cars?
00:30:38
>> Drive those cars. >> Not yet. Not yet. >> Not yet. On the count of three. >> Count of three.
00:30:42
>> One, two, three. B, you're backwards. >> Wait. No, I'm forwards. There you go.
00:30:48
Eric, go ahead. The wrong way, Bert. You crashed. >> That's me, dude. >> Oh. Oh. Go. Go. B. You're over here.
00:30:55
>> Other way. >> Other way. >> Now you're on the track. >> Almost. Almost. >> Backwards. Bert. Other way.
00:31:02
>> Backwards. >> Wait. Who am I? >> Am I now? Is this a podcast? >> Yes. >> Yeah.
00:31:09
>> Picking someone. >> Who's the one that's moving? >> Is that me? >> Yeah. You're doing great. He's stuck.
00:31:14
>> No, he's not. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> He's doing good. >> Yeah. Although, >> Eric, help him.
00:31:17
>> Help him. >> Help him get off of there. >> He's stuck. Help him, dude. >> What are you doing?
00:31:23
[laughter] >> What was that? What was that? [laughter] [laughter] >> They threw something.
00:31:35
>> Nobody threw anything. >> You threw something. >> You threw something. >> Grab the radio. Grab the radio. Grab
00:31:41
>> No, I'M NOT TOUCHING ANYTHING. >> NO. GRAB THE RADIO. >> GRAB THE RADIO. RADIO. I'M JUST GOING TO
00:31:46
PLAY MUSIC, NOT THE RADIO. >> Why would I grab the radio to end the showc [ __ ] [screaming]
00:31:55
>> Okay, [laughter] let's continue. [screaming] >> Oh no. Wait a minute. >> Oh no.
00:32:05
>> Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. >> Oh no. Officer is here. You guys were drunk driving.
00:32:10
>> Officer Dax. >> Dax, take it away. So, uh, to prove you're not drunk, you come walk this
00:32:17
line and also say your ABC's backwards. >> Good job. So, go ahead, Bert. You're going to get in trouble if you don't do
00:32:23
it. So, can you please walk this line? >> Walk what line? >> Yeah, you have to have the goggles on.
00:32:27
You're drunk. >> Oh, with my goggles on. >> Yeah, you're hammered. >> Hammered. >> All right, [snorts] here we go. All
00:32:33
right, officer, take your do your job. >> Oh, okay. Uh, please walk the line. Okay.
00:32:39
>> Okay. Oh, >> without me. Without me. Whoa. Backwards. Officer. >> Yeah, your feet are You need to stay on
00:32:49
the yellow [laughter] line. >> Don't you have to say the alphabet or something? >> Oh. Uh,
00:32:53
>> not at the same time. >> X Y W V U T >> as you s U V. >> You have more of those firecrackers.
00:33:04
>> Okay, that's good. Is he drunk? >> Is he drunk? >> You are. >> I am very drunk.
00:33:08
>> Oh, wow. So, is he going to go to jail? >> You are going to go to jail. Okay, now
00:33:11
Eric, see if Eric's going to go to jail. >> How many points? How many points? What
00:33:14
am I up to, Omar? >> How many points? >> The score. >> You are 28. >> And then what does Bour have?
00:33:21
>> 27. [screaming] >> NOW, what do you want me to do, officer? >> So, can you please walk on this yellow
00:33:28
line and keep your feet on the line? >> There's many yellow lines. >> Uh, the one that's that your foot is
00:33:33
currently on. >> This one? >> Yeah. >> Oh, no. >> Okay. And then Z Yx W. You want the alphabet backwards?
00:33:40
>> Yeah. See how far you can go. [laughter] >> It's hard. >> I'm [music] I'm going to let you go.
00:33:46
You're fine. >> He's fine. >> C YX W V U T SR R Q P O N M M L K J H I G F E D CBA.
00:33:57
>> WHOA. [screaming] HE'S SOBER. >> Good job. >> Wait a minute. Officer Dax, why did you
00:34:02
decide to let him go and not Bert? I >> I just am a FAN OF ERIC. >> OH, WOW. WOW.
00:34:08
>> WOW. >> COOL. [applause] >> WA. >> COOL. SO, UH, awesome job >> to read it and read it.
00:34:15
>> Thanks, D. Thanks. >> Who's the winner? [laughter] >> Eric W. >> Eric W. [cheering]
00:34:25
CONGRATS ON WINNING THE GAME, TOO, ERIC. AND CLOSE YOUR EYES BECAUSE >> WOW. >> You get a prize. Close your eyes. And
00:34:33
you're going to pick something out of a box. I don't feel safe. >> Okay. [ __ ] >> You make me feel unsafe.
00:34:41
>> You make me feel unsafe. >> Really? >> Yeah. >> I live to make you feel safe.
00:34:45
>> No. No. No. You attacked me from behind >> once and you won't let it go. >> I didn't see you in 20 years before.
00:34:50
>> And you won't let it go. >> You won't let go of the Matt TV thing. >> That makes sense.
00:34:55
>> Okay. So, close your eyes. [laughter] >> That's a grudge. That makes sense. >> Close your eyes.
00:35:02
>> And do what? >> You know what? I swear to God, dude. You have to do it. [laughter]
00:35:11
[laughter] >> Are you okay? >> No, I'm not. >> What's going on? >> There's attention and stuff like we're
00:35:16
supposed to have fun. >> Well, how do you diffuse it? >> I try to hug him and kiss him and stuff.
00:35:21
It didn't work. >> Like, that's fine. >> Yeah. [laughter] >> You know, I think he's racist.
00:35:30
>> I think so. >> Against which the fake race that you are or the real race? The only way to find
00:35:34
out, kiss him. >> Yeah, dude. >> Yeah. >> Triple kiss to both of you. I don't care.
00:35:40
>> See, he does love you. >> Oh, he does love me. Well, then give me a kiss. >> Give him a prize and give him a kiss and
00:35:44
a prize. [laughter] >> Give him a prize. >> That I don't love you at all. You get
00:35:51
worried what I'm going to get. >> Yeah. >> You know why, >> guys? I don't know why. [laughter]
00:36:05
>> Guys, >> guys, thank you so much. >> We did a great job. >> The point of the show.
00:36:10
>> How was your experience of the show? >> On the show. Tell us. >> I'm confused. Is there [laughter] Is it
00:36:14
over? Do it. >> No, it's not over. >> It's not over. What? >> It's enough. What's wrong?
00:36:20
>> What's time to get out? Judy and I [music] need our privacy. >> For what? >> Yeah. What? For what do you guys need it
00:36:28
for? >> Don't worry. [applause and music] I I need our privacy. [laughter] Okay.
00:36:36
>> Don't ask questions. >> Okay. Okay. Freak. >> Just get out of here. >> Okay. Freaky mommy. Okay.
00:36:41
>> Show on. >> What? >> YouTube. >> Oh. Oh. [laughter] Wait. >> What? This is network television.
00:36:52
>> What are all these [laughter] people doing here? >> This is for ABC. >> [laughter]
00:36:58
>> You think this is going TO YOU THINK ANYONE'S GOING TO SEE THIS? >> HOW MUCH MONEY? But yeah,
00:37:03
>> nobody's going to see. >> Where's the money coming from? And you can't curse any who paid [laughter] for
00:37:07
this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> This is all a ruse. >> It's a ruse. >> We're washing money. This is a money
00:37:14
laundering scheme. >> Yeah. >> None of this is real. >> None of it's real. Dude,
00:37:19
>> were you crying? Oh, the What's up with [laughter] your >> I was crying. >> Okay.
00:37:25
>> Yeah. Did you guys [music] solve this issue? >> Yeah, I think we did. >> I don't think so. I think it was worse.
00:37:31
>> Yeah, >> we I don't know what the issue is. >> I don't either. >> I really don't. Huh?
00:37:37
>> I don't. >> You got upset cuz I ripped your shirt off at the show. >> [ __ ] >> We stayed too long.
00:37:44
>> Oh, Judy. >> Hey, move that lamp. >> Not kind. >> Not kind, dude. Not kind. You saw the
00:37:52
tit. >> I didn't even get to see anything. Can't believe you boys let me leave without my
00:37:55
jacket and my baby was in the car. >> That's insane. Insane. Anyway, >> Judy, don't. That is awful.
00:38:02
>> I am so sorry about that, Judy. >> Anyway, thanks for coming, guys. >> Thanks for being on the bad show.
00:38:13
>> I can't tell if it's over or not. [laughter] >> We cut it [applause and cheering] down.
00:38:18
We cut it down. >> Oh, you cut it down. [laughter] >> Whoa. What's our run time?
00:38:25
>> Huh? >> Go. >> Go. We have to leave. >> What's the run time supposed to be? >> Out of here.
00:38:31
>> 20 minutes. >> I think we should go. >> We got to go. >> No, there's still >> Come on.
00:38:35
>> There's no way that we stay >> for real. We leave. >> Bye. >> Bye. >> Bye. >> Thank you, Mom.
00:38:41
>> Bye. Bye. >> Bye. [music] >> Was that a good Do you consider that a good episode or [laughter]
00:38:49
>> What's the barometer? What's the barometer?