00:00:00
hey bad friendsy you you guys we we're bot fans live it's the best live show you'll ever see in your life in your
00:00:06
life and this week we're gonna be where juy where are we this week Louisville Kentucky Louisville Kentucky where the
00:00:11
horse he's done racing the booze is made down at a Bourbon County B and then we go to Atlanta Georgia baby Atlanta baby
00:00:18
two shows in Atlanta by the first Show's gone get the second show where do we go after Atlanta Jess Grace land Sound
00:00:24
Stage graceand Sound Stage where's that at Memphis Tennessee Memphis Tennessee baby North Fork Virginia guys Norfolk
00:00:32
Virginia we're going to be coming to you guys and then we're going to do a little run in North Carolina Durham come on out
00:00:37
and see us and Charlotte before we head to Texas in May those are the dates come out and see us go to badf friends
00:00:42
pod.com badf friends pod.com you two are bad friends who are these two idiots a white dude and an Asian dude you two are
00:00:54
disgusting you two or something we're bad friends I've never seen Avatar why I don't know well you're not a Sci-Fi guy I'm not a Sci-Fi guy is probably the best way to describe it I've never been
00:01:06
a Sci-Fi guy I'll never be a Sci-Fi guy but your heart's closed that's what it is no no no I just I have no interest in
00:01:11
that that category of film oh I like it all you're allowed to I I'm I'm allowed to say no do you like classical music I
00:01:18
do like would you listen to it all day all night I do do you like uh do you like spoken word
00:01:24
poetry no it sucks yeah I hate it yeah people go there people go like in New York I love New York and I love you know people yeah I both things right totally
00:01:36
but then they you know they have those jams M they're at coffee shop you know I mean beat Nicks you know what I mean
00:01:42
with their with their fingers and stuff right yeah you know I mean and um candles why are there candles in case
00:01:48
the power goes out oh that's my but it's like you know back in the day like with um uh Ginsburg and back in the 60s the
00:01:54
beat Nick scene right I am you will we are make me life given yeah yeah yeah and then the white man want you to think yeah yeah yeah I
00:02:09
am yeah less than I want a boo amen amen amen thank you so that's what I'm saying
00:02:15
I met him once a a Sci-Fi films are uh spoken word poetry to me not interest I met Alan Ginsburg you met Ginsburg yeah where at um dhws bookstore in La Hoya I
00:02:27
thought you g to say DHL I was shipping something and he and so I had the he he wrote a book called the howl I or the
00:02:33
howling what is it called that's Carlos by the way you look ex he looks exactly like Ginsburg they have the same hair
00:02:39
but you know what he wrote in my book what you watch too much TV Alan Ginsburg he's probably right
00:02:46
yeah but I didn't know how he knew that he but he could look at you oh really you got a TV
00:02:52
body oh like a turnup right yeah you're more like a squash like a squash some are squash cuz they're yellow but I remember being offended like reading it and going what the [ __ ] how do you know [ __ ] you [ __ ]
00:03:06
but he's right though is but he's totally right yeah yeah and last thing I want to say about that is I chased Lou Reed down the street I love Lou Reed
00:03:12
when I was uh 16 years old what do you mean you try to fight Lou Reed no I I was obsessed with Lou Reed and so me and
00:03:19
my friend Jensen went to his he had a poetry reading you know with his lyrics from his songs yeah and there was not a
00:03:26
lot of people there maybe 60 people and and then he went out the back and me and
00:03:31
J go let's I had my Velvet Underground shirt let's go around right we saw him in the alleyway and we started running
00:03:36
toward him he got in his car he drove away he like that and he and when he left he went lri yeah I've never chased a celebrity
00:03:50
I've never no I've never chased anybody one my dad I've told this on this podcast before but the first celebrity I actually saw well the first celebrity I
00:03:57
ever saw was with my mom at an ice cream store Chicago I saw the we saw the mother from
00:04:03
um uh let me guess yeah what's WR let me guess wait what's wrong with me let me guess though yeah Malcolm in the Middle what no you the mother and Malcolm in the Middle no the I was a child when
00:04:15
this happened this was oh how about this many years ago oh how about this Bonanza is there a mother in there no I've never
00:04:21
seen the show there's got to be a mom in Bonanza no oh how about this the one with [ __ ] the guy that went the exactly no no listen can I just excla you guessed it yeah the one with the guy
00:04:34
that went to the thing no no what's the one where um Little House in the prairie how old do you think I am you said you
00:04:41
you're young yeah but that wasn't on when I was a kid Little House in the prairie dude you're thinking about
00:04:47
you oh I'm 40 you're 50 I used to love that show it was the it was the mom it was Kevin Arnold's mom it was uh oh my God what's wrong with me why can't I
00:04:57
think of the name of the show dude that's her right there yeah that's her from Wonder Years what's her name uh she
00:05:05
was so sweet and so nice and she signed a napkin she sign huh Ali Mills that's right she signed a a napkin for me at the ice cream store she was the first and then the second one we saw Tom celic
00:05:16
in the airport in Chicago at O'Hare by the baggage and my dad goes Tom celic no swear to God was it
00:05:23
embarrassing yeah I was I was I was like bright orange like hotter than I ever have been just like Illuminating orange
00:05:28
and he looked over and kind of gave like a what and my dad was like Hey really it was so weird my dad I like why did you
00:05:34
just yell at Tom celic my dad's never heard a song before what what he doesn't know what music is he never heard M what do you mean he he he he doesn't know what it is there's music when you're
00:05:46
like in a store I know but but that's how anti like anything he is like he he does he wouldn't know what mosart was he
00:05:52
wouldn't know what like Bruce Springsteen was if you played him a song it all sounds the same to me just noise
00:05:59
was he not allowed to listen to music as a kid he's just not a music listener or or movie Watcher or anything what did he
00:06:06
do for fun when he was alive work that was fun no earn money in fact he was so cheap we me and my brother went to his he he own a clothing store called Fashion Gal oh yeah we know we know and
00:06:18
um he we went to his and he and I go where are the employees I know I do everything everything I do right and I I
00:06:26
looked me and my brother looked below the cash register there's a [ __ ] gigantic jar of
00:06:34
pee what because he has no employees right so he just pees you know what I mean in this
00:06:40
gigantic jar right welcome welcome and they're like PE what spells it here is that where pu
00:06:48
came from probably puu yeah p on the dude but yeah my dad doesn't know anything and when he was dying right mm
00:06:58
this is a really heartfelt story Give It All right so my when my dad was dying my
00:07:04
brother had um airpods or whatever and he stuck airpods in his ear right first he plays Tribe Called Quest my dad listen I mean that's a good way to start
00:07:14
and my dad was started shaking right then I go no no no no so I changed it to um Eric
00:07:20
Clapton St St no uh uh St if you saw Tears in Heaven tears in tears in heaven I swear to God he had one tear oh my God he heard a song for the first time wow
00:07:33
that he died yeah yeah his last words on his death bed he was just like can I kick
00:07:42
it yeah can you imagine can I kick it holding his hand and you're like yes you can and he's like can I kick it up or
00:07:50
like a week yes you can or a week later we come back home and he's like dressed like Tupac like he's totally in it you know
00:07:58
yeah yeah biggy why did he kill him where's the ca yeah juicy how much fun did you have
00:08:05
in Vancouver Canada oh it was amazing I can't believe it she cried 2700 seats juicy came out hot as a pistol didn't miss a beat crushed crushed so excited
00:08:18
that was the beginning of the tour BR it's it's all uh it's all smooth sailing from here kiddo we had a really nice
00:08:24
moment Bobby and I yeah really nice yeah and she goes because you know I mean I had a really bad couple weeks and like you know that that show happened at the right time it was awesome it was awesome
00:08:35
that's what Andrew's been saying I knew I said it I said this is exactly what we need to start the tour in Vancouver with
00:08:41
a big huge audience of people in Canada that were like so excited to come out it was so awes and we were leaving I go
00:08:46
let's go we got to get a car here what and she goes um no I want to go back on the stage again so I went with her I
00:08:52
made him come with me and she goes look and you know this beautiful theater such a pretty theater beautiful on God and
00:09:00
she and I could see her tear up right and I went you know what you just taught me a lesson this is it this is it this is it there's nothing else liveing it right now right now you really taught me
00:09:12
a lesson I was so glad because I didn't tell you at the time but I think it was cuz I was pretty
00:09:22
drunk cuz I didn't drink during the show but then after we kicked it in the Green Room some guests came back yeah I drank
00:09:30
1 and a half ipas that'll do it for we back on the stage and I was like so it wasn't a real emotion no it was real but
00:09:37
it was fueled but but you were like are you getting emotional and then I was like yeah and then you started wait wait
00:09:45
wait stop you weren't emotional then you were Faking It Well I didn't want to tell you I think a lot of it was because
00:09:50
of the alcohol yeah but it was still real spiritual I had a spiritual profound moment you were [ __ ] drunk yeah well wait a minute wait a minute people take iasa to see God so they're
00:10:01
intoxicated with something when they see something else so I believe chemicals can sometimes open your brain to the spiritual world so this was her just realizing look at how beautiful this is
00:10:14
a you don't need chemicals you're above it you've you've transcended chemicals let me tell you I wish I had chemicals the last two or three weeks yeah well now you don't now you don't need them because PO on my face in a hotel room
00:10:26
you know like in Mexico how could I forget anyway that was a great experience and I'm I'm you know I'm so
00:10:32
glad you know I mean that you know we get to live through you too because it's like here's the deal when you're you
00:10:38
know when you've been in show business so gross that even saying that but in this business as long as I have yeah I
00:10:44
remember those first moments huge the first time you did TV as a standup the first time you did a theater all that
00:10:50
stuff and I remember it being so powerful and like you know visceral and it was just such an experience and as
00:10:56
you get older you just kind of like we're always telling you like know the first time you play the belly room in The Comedy Store is exciting yeah but
00:11:02
after the 10 10,000 you'll get through it 10,000th time M it just becomes like a thing that you just do right but it's like you you
00:11:14
should take every moment and just go you know what this is this is great this is
00:11:19
UN well we talked about this before the show what's in front of you see what's in front of you stop looking this way
00:11:24
and that way and backwards what's right here in front of you right now yeah it's like that's the way to like live through life it's you know what it's almost like
00:11:30
shoveling snow for people that grew up in places with snow it when you go outside you see the driveway and you're
00:11:35
like [ __ ] [ __ ] it's forever but if you just look at the little chunk every time
00:11:41
that you're getting a little chunk of snow every time you start to just forget that there's all that space and at some
00:11:46
point then you turn around you're like oh [ __ ] I'm almost done because instead of overwhelming yourself with look at all the [ __ ] that I have to do
00:11:52
you're like well let me just take it one little chunk at a time just hire somebody to do that we didn't grow up with the San Diego money dude we didn't
00:11:58
grow up in the [ __ ] way we weren't [ __ ] billionaires we did that for our now in San Diego you didn't get any I know and you know we we paid too much
00:12:04
for the guy we paid him $100 and I'm like Dad I don't you know there's no snow so it will be Mr Le I will do your driveway
00:12:16
but it's it's no snow for me to get you want me to scrape snow for the driveway yeah it's window okay so yeah so you have to do it you
00:12:29
have to just see why no why do you have no I'm more curious because I didn't grew up in snow as a kid I did in Minnesota but I don't remember but why
00:12:36
do you have to do it shovel the snow yeah I don't know anything about the how do you get your cars out oh it's a
00:12:42
driveway I see yeah also need people need to get to your home that's how they get up the driveway to your house but wouldn't that be a great excuse not to
00:12:48
show up to work though I'm stuck yeah to snow hello hello oh my dad my dad I don't know why I just did that I don't know I was to figure something out
00:13:01
hello hi uh is this uh is this the boss over at uh over at uh where do I work oh
00:13:09
at Pep Boys over at Pep Boys hey is this Mike yeah man hey Mike I'm not gonna be able to make it in today why not man
00:13:16
snow oh [ __ ] there's snow tons there's like four or five inches I can't go I should go back home then man huh Snow Yeah if you can make it back I feel like you might
00:13:28
be stuck at Pet Boys oh really good improv thanks I love it I love our little improv they're really good you didn't you guys none of you guys grew up with snow that's [ __ ] insane you're a Houston kid you're from where La yeah
00:13:43
you're from here kind of right I liveed in snow once though where in Flagstaff Arizona love love Northern Arizona yeah
00:13:50
and then my car got snowed in and I just left it there seriously you'd pulled a Bobby yeah it was my first car is that
00:13:56
where Doug Stan hope lives or mm he Bisby Bisby what's is Bisby it's a little small town yeah and it's just
00:14:03
it's like his town it's like he runs that whole [ __ ] place you know I've known him longer than any other comedian
00:14:09
I think Stan hope yeah I met him in 1997 yeah yeah he was funny back then he was he's so funny yeah so funny he's a professional Drinker nobody's better like I think Bert Bert Bert's probably
00:14:23
one of the best but I think Stan hope is like I had a phone call this weekend with Whistle Pig my boy Patrick at
00:14:29
Whistle Pig who's going to work with us with whiskey Ginger and um he was telling me that he was having a few
00:14:35
drinks with Stan hope and he's like I just nobody can keep up with that guy but he's super coherent he can drink all
00:14:41
night hang out nothing doesn't act like a fool doesn't like get all you know what I mean just keeps it keeps it level
00:14:47
he's a nice guy let me ask you about bur ker I love him great heart and I and I think about him all the time I love him so much I don't know how his heart is with all that weight Ian right but is
00:14:58
there do you are you ever concerned for him or no for what for the partying and all
00:15:04
that stuff or no no because I think he's got something he's he must have figured out something to keep yeah there's something he's doing I I can't figure it
00:15:09
out I think he's faking whoa you don't think he's drinking I don't think he's really drinking all right call him out
00:15:15
say it right now Bert you ain't drinking huh I think I just did well then call it out say what say
00:15:20
how you really feel you think he's Faking It Bert Crasher I think you're full of [ __ ]
00:15:25
wa I think you're one theater now so you think he never drinks you think it's non-alcoholic that would be hilarious though if he's like taking the
00:15:37
shots and spitting them out spitting them out yeah or he's drinking na beers or or he's de alkalized booze it'd be
00:15:44
smart this is a good theory what next time in the audience if a beautiful woman wants my number give it to him all right let's talk about this let's talk about what happened that's [ __ ] up there was multiple girls in Vancouver
00:15:55
who were pretty that wanted to be Bobby's lover and one of them in particular was a young woman that was up in the balcony and was really committed
00:16:02
yeah and Carlos went up there to go let her talk yeah and she asked a question basically will you hook up with me is what she said to you and Carlos sabotaged the situation he [ __ ] blocked
00:16:13
the situation by not only not giving her your number but he tried to sneak a DM to her exactly I have a reason why
00:16:19
though yeah celibacy you you said it last week yeah I know celibacy you know um unless something comes my way it's a it's a you know what I mean for
00:16:31
me it's like this it's like I'm not going to pursue it right but if it comes my way you know what I mean if I'm
00:16:37
walking down the street right I see a vagina I'm going to pick it up because when you when you're chasing it and
00:16:43
stuff it it becomes like a drug right you get the dopamine hits there's a mystery the chase all that stuff and I
00:16:48
just feel like it feels unhealthy so I'm not I don't want to do that but it's like you know if I'm walking down the
00:16:54
street you mean and somebody says here hands you a [ __ ] that's like being handed probably a box with a ribbon on it or whatever it's got to be nicer than a dick for sure yeah dicks just get thrown at you yeah always
00:17:06
but I feel like that's like drinking a beer just cuz someone offered it to you when you're sober oh this is an
00:17:12
interesting thing yeah you yeah that is interesting somebody threw a crack on I don't have an addiction to that you
00:17:18
think I do I think there's potential for it for sure you think you're addicted I know you always push you think you're
00:17:24
addicted let's start there and who's more addicted you or me I'm you're way more addicted I was
00:17:29
call a guy right who's maybe addicted when you're the most addicted it's like am I not right or no yeah but I can see my brother in arms like F I can see my brother like like I can see as someone
00:17:42
who's addicted I can see the traits of addiction famous for his he's he goes out there Andrew have you noticed him I
00:17:48
saw what he did out there a few times I mean you're just swimming in ego that's not true a girl said she was taller than me in the audience she did yeah what's good about Carlos why I love him so much is his confidence level has
00:18:02
taken him farther in life than life was going to take him so you have to have that kind of bravado to last yeah you know what I mean he's got to have that Swagger he's not tall he's not strong
00:18:14
he's not smart he's bald he's gay yeah he's got all these things going against him he's like you know what your your type is as a man crumb what Crum what
00:18:27
wait that's what someone would qual no like you're that category of white dude San Francisco weird artist yeah drawing
00:18:34
you don't know Crum what Robert Crum you know him look it up yeah look it up Robert Crum that you're that type that's
00:18:41
crummy that guy looks cool no look at in the 70s but I'll say this can I give you
00:18:46
a compliment all jokes aside yeah Carlos is a handsome cool dude he's got great Swagger and that's why girls like him
00:18:53
the problem is there's a balance between that's oh my God Carlos that's you that's your type yeah your type that's
00:18:59
the kind of person you are he looks cool yeah his neck looks grabbable I should be so lucky to be
00:19:07
Robert crumb yes I agree he has Kirk Fox's neck such a long neck oh giraffe baby yeah yeah tented what I'm saying is the problem is Right both of you guys
00:19:19
talented cool wonderful dudes you're both out there fishing even though you're you're fishing a little bit how
00:19:26
by being on stage and being like just because I have a fishing Rod don't make an assumption that I have
00:19:31
a fishing rod right and I've got bait you know what I mean that I'm fishing okay I'm just prepared for a big school
00:19:39
I get it but the point is and juicy can attest she's actually probably the best balance of all this cuz she saw it all
00:19:45
go down we need to have a regulated way if a girl say flirting with Bobby that you need to step back and let that
00:19:52
happen and let that thing go and then you can get your own girls right yeah I mean how did they hand the situation you think it was bad yeah I think if they say I want to date Bobby that should be
00:20:04
pretty clear pretty clear pretty cut and dry at that point yeah I think and there was two of them yeah there was two who's
00:20:10
well I just want to say the real issue is that Bobby and I are now in the same dating pool weirdly enough oh really
00:20:18
yeah you got to change that water yeah yeah I think so what I think so no can I tell the story that Sandy D told me yeah yeah yeah please is about me yeah but it will go full full circle oh this is
00:20:30
great wait okay tread carefully no no no no no go go wild it doesn't show you in
00:20:36
a bad light but it was about when you were opening for pully me yeah okay and and Sandy was saying that there was a point where you like pass this threshold
00:20:47
of like now you're picking up all these chicks on the road you know and uh one time anybody who knows Paulie knows he has his opener sell his merch for him and Sandy tells me that that one time
00:20:59
you didn't do that you instead you went instead of selling I went fishing not only did you
00:21:06
go fishing but he he went he found these girls they wanted to hang out with them you totally skipped the meet and GRE
00:21:11
line and I was told maybe I shouldn't no keep going keep going I like it I remember where where it was even and
00:21:17
then and then uh Pauly was so mad he took your girls oh no that's not the that's not the story well how did it
00:21:22
that's how we're he it at the that's that's absolutely not the story it's it's insane what it's it's [ __ ] you
00:21:30
know it's so [ __ ] let me ask tell you something I'll tell you what I [ __ ] tell you let me I'm emotional okay all
00:21:37
right let me just get it out okay it makes me so angry okay all right this is what happened okay display you guys um
00:21:44
as a kid um I loved posters but you would you know you'd have a poster for like a year and they get shredded apart
00:21:51
yeah you want something solid and something heavy and beautiful like this look up here right now this display has both branded and artistic artwork they
00:21:57
have over a million designs ailable for everyone including official designs from Brands like Marvel DC Star Wars Netflix NASA plenty of games movies including
00:22:05
bad friends designs our bad friends displates are up there displate created a unique easy safe magnet mounting
00:22:11
system that only takes 20 seconds no need for drilling your walls guys all you need to do is wipe your wall with a
00:22:17
cleaning wipe stick a protective Leaf Place a magnet and put the displate on your wall it's that easy it is pretty
00:22:23
incredible we take this down sometimes when we're moving stuff around the studio and it's so cool how quickly it comes off the wall and goes back up and
00:22:28
it's not going to ruin the wall behind it they're eco-friendly for every design sold they're planting a tree they deliver worldwide within fortifi
00:22:34
business days it's a perfect alternative for standard paper posters that get damaged and ripped and smudged and stained and gross it doesn't leave marks
00:22:41
on the wall how do they get it Bob use the link in the description or go to displate.com badri use code bad friend
00:22:49
at the checkout to get 22% off for one to two displates or 33% off for three or more displayes that's display.com badri use that code bad friends to at the checkout to get 22% off for one to two
00:23:00
displates or 33% off for three or more displates displ collect your passions V you guys with vroom.com you can shop thousands of cars right from your phone and have your next ride delivered
00:23:11
straight to you just like Bobby did and I did for my mom I bought a new car and I use room because you know going to a
00:23:18
lot in the summer it with I don't like it at all it's hot you know what I mean it's this is the best way to do it guys
00:23:25
you never have to haggle negotiate the price of a car you know you're getting a good deal they got of cars available at vroom.com you can make sure you get the
00:23:31
ride that you really want you don't got to settle and you don't got to just be like oh that's the color we have so you have to take it no you get to pick
00:23:36
that's the best part I got to pick exactly what I wanted to give my mom and the best part is you trade in your old car when you buy a new one or you can
00:23:42
just sell your car to room and when you sell your car you get a price instantly and they even come pick it up from you
00:23:48
vom is the better way to buy a car so if you're a car lover and you're looking for something unique or you're a busy
00:23:54
parent who's always on the go and you don't have time to shop for a car the old way just visit vroom.com I got to
00:23:59
tell you what's great about it too you have a full week or 250 miles whichever comes first to make sure that your new new ride is right for you of course the
00:24:06
car I picked from my mom she loved anyway but it's nice to have that guarantee in your back pocket you can go 250 miles or a full entire week so you
00:24:13
can buy a car from vroom entirely online next time you need to buy a car just grab your phone go to vroom.com and check out thousands of cars I can tell
00:24:21
you what club it is say it okay Funny Bone Columbus okay I mean you could have just made that up what I believe I okay
00:24:29
okay it was in Ohio yeah Columbus is in Ohio it is yes it is then I got it right yeah did Columbus Ohio and um he's on
00:24:37
stage I'm at the bar two beautiful girls go um hey we just thought you were so funny and I go thank you you know that's how I the too and they go hey we're just
00:24:49
kind of drunk and you know I mean we want to [ __ ] hang you know and we think you're cute it was like you know a
00:24:55
present yeah that was the gift so there was a limo driver um that you know cuz at that time Paulie had always a limo driver waiting outside right M so I went
00:25:05
into the limo with these two girls what's so funny I just no it sounds good yeah we're and I'm making out with them
00:25:12
right and um and I'm like oh this is I won the lottery yeah you're making out with both of them yeah this is great yeah I won the lottery mhm and then all
00:25:24
of a sudden the door opens he goes what about me dude what about you dude he grabs both of
00:25:31
them and they leave now I'm sitting in the [ __ ] limo saddest limo the saddest limo on
00:25:38
planet Earth but also the rage yeah can I say another thing he did to me yeah this is crazy yeah I'm in shreport Louisiana right he has a girl there
00:25:49
right that he met I don't know how he met her beautiful and um I'm out I went to get
00:25:55
got like a hamburger or whatever he's on stage I go into the The Green Room the girl that he's with has my wallet in her
00:26:02
hand cuz I I took cash out and I left the wallet there and she's rumaging through my [ __ ] wallet grabbing money
00:26:08
and [ __ ] I go what the [ __ ] [ __ ] you know what I mean that's my [ __ ] wallet right I go I'm I'm going to tell
00:26:16
Paulie Paulie gets off stage and I go this girl you're with stole money from my wallet and he goes so what D and so
00:26:24
for that whole weekend I had to be in a car with her after she robbed you after she robbed
00:26:30
you after she robbed me I had to sit there with them and just look at her and she was like look at me like what are
00:26:37
you going to do you know what I mean it was so painful and this is instances of white privilege that it just has got to
00:26:42
stop it's got white privilege has was why privileged that was why she did it cuz she said I'm going to steal from this little noodle he's not going to do
00:26:48
anything but I don't like the way that that story so who told you that story Sandy Danto yeah okay it's not a bad story I'm just saying that's what Carlos
00:26:55
did to you yeah that's what Carlos yeah that's that's what you did to me he poed you you yeah you well that's this is
00:27:02
actually a pretty good comparison juy that sounds like a there was a poly story and I don't know if this was true
00:27:08
but that he would take take those guys to Subway and for lunch you know because he was just like you know you'll pay for the opener lunch or dinner and he'd take them to sway but he'd make them get the foot long but he'd go you could have
00:27:20
foot long but you have to eat half now half later yeah yeah only allowed they were only allowed to eat 6 in of it at
00:27:32
lunchtime because he wanted them to save it for the dinner because the dinner wasn't comp for openers at the club like
00:27:37
the clubs will C the headliner meal but they won't do opener meal I mean some of them back in the day they didn't they
00:27:42
used to just go Headliners get a meal but the opener would get like a discount or they' get you know what I mean but he
00:27:49
said have half by the way full logs were $5 he made me cry once what he he did a
00:27:57
prank on me but I thought it was real and I literally cried like with panic why cuz I go to the hot we're in Detroit
00:28:04
and we go to the hotel and I I open my door and he's behind me and he and he brings his luggage and everything into
00:28:10
the room what your hotel room yeah and he goes did was sharing a room and I go what yeah did you know we're not making a lot of money on this
00:28:21
tour man saving money and he starts like taking stuff out of his [ __ ] thing putting in the drawers and I sat on the
00:28:27
bed right there was a twin bed and I literally just started crying it was like oh this is going to be the worst
00:28:34
yeah but then he was I'm kidding and he but a piece of him he was like kidding dude then he went down to the front desk he's like I need another room he
00:28:41
definitely didn't have it planned he definitely did that last I would not I just you know I would never I wouldn't
00:28:46
be where I'm at today with without him and his family yeah that's right yeah I love them so much yeah that's right dude
00:28:53
there's there's good there's there's beautiful history to that that we have to always respect but funny funny quirky
00:28:58
guy dude he's a really interesting guy he's such a legend he's a legend like every story is like I don't know if this is true or not but I heard yeah yeah
00:29:06
yeah and that's the stories that we're going to come off the road did you open with anybody like early on no man that was a that was like a sore spot for me
00:29:12
for some reason I I I I asked someone one time and I'm not going to say who but I said to a headliner I was like yeah man you know a lot of i' I never I've never been taken out like I never
00:29:24
got taken out and the person said um yeah well dude you're you're pretty good for your
00:29:30
age range like you're good for your grp your class I think that would be the my problem with you and I was like yeah but
00:29:36
I still need it nobody knows me and they were like yeah but Headliners would rather have someone a little bit less
00:29:42
developed that they can develop and they were like you're you're going to be okay and I was so mad at that that I was like
00:29:49
yeah but that I need money like I need to go out with somebody and a not even a year later I got punked and when I got punked uh I was able to Parlay that with
00:30:01
a a shitty manager at the time who was getting me D rooms I was playing like Win aoka Casino for $185 I've been there oh yeah dude I did all that so I was just
00:30:14
headlining D rooms with you know 38 minutes or whatever trying so so I started headlining quote unquote young
00:30:21
not legitimized but by the time I got to a point then when I was developed I nobody I couldn't gone out
00:30:28
with anybody so it's almost like I jumped that step and then Rogan started taking me out five six years ago I don't even know but that's like come on man that's
00:30:39
amazing no I'm saying that was the first I ever had was Rogan was the first guy that was like you should open for me and
00:30:44
I was like yeah I'll [ __ ] I'll open for you I remember the first time I saw you at the store yeah I know we yeah you
00:30:50
told us yeah I watched you I like oh no that it's a given but I said you know you know the moment that I had that you had with I will say this when he took me we played Chicago theater and I went
00:31:02
back home to Chicago and um the stage manager said uh I was looking at the stage and I was like God so big it's unreal and he was like you'll play it and I was like okay dude like yeah okay
00:31:17
and sure enough then I went back and played it you know so those moments are like like Bobby was saying before look at the snow in front of you like that's you should soak it up cuz those are
00:31:27
that's why it's amazing it's incredible to be able to be a part of that but yes no I got to skip over I skipped over
00:31:34
that featuring thing for some reason I but I was so jealous man all my friends in my class were going out with people
00:31:39
but every comic has their thing like you have that right but because I used to open for um dice sometimes like that
00:31:46
would have been so fun menia Paulie um but um I never got to do festivals right as a young comic I just never was invited you know so it's like
00:31:57
you know that everyone has their thing you know what I mean like oh why I wish that why didn't that happen or whatever
00:32:03
but your path is your path no yeah and that's where there is no direct path like you like you didn't know you don't know you don't know you didn't know and
00:32:09
don't know what's to come this came and this wasn't planned you know what I mean I reached a point where I was like I'm
00:32:15
not going to quit so even if I'm just playing bars you know for the rest of my life then I'll just do that and I'll be happy doing that and then I got the job and met you guys and a lot has happened
00:32:27
so my manager will not stop talking about you really oh my God does she remember my let's talk about yeah yeah
00:32:34
does she know her name what does she know her name yeah something going she's like is
00:32:39
Lindsay coming downstairs I like who's Lindsay no one is nam L yeah yeah yeah no you know Jessica Jessica let's talk about let's talk
00:32:51
about what happened to your manager by the way all right within the first hour oh it's concerning within the first hour
00:32:57
we go to get food she wants to smoke a cigarette borrows a cigarette from the BART borrows a lighter from the bartender who
00:33:03
was the dishwasher dishwasher lighter right who he needs that lighter yeah if you're washing dishes I'm smoking you're
00:33:10
smoking I'm smoking yeah so gets it from the bartender who got it from the dishwasher she goes outside has a
00:33:16
cigarette comes back in within seconds goes I lost the lighter you just were smoking where would it be so we're turning it upside
00:33:26
down she's empting her pocket all this and the bartender comes over good looking guy God right holy [ __ ] they
00:33:34
were all good looking and he comes over and he goes hey can I get that lighter and she's like I I'm so sorry to say
00:33:40
this I I lost the lighter his face was so funny yeah his face was like are you keeping it because you just smoked outside was three minutes ago yeah it was yeah and then so
00:33:53
he goes and he literally goes the funniest thing he goes I guess I'll go tell the bus boy you the dish you lost
00:33:58
his lighter like you know mad he has to wash dishes his job is already [ __ ] annoying and then he goes hey what's up
00:34:04
and the guy's like oh she lost your lighter he's like what the [ __ ] so mad and guess where it was she was sitting sitting on it sitting on it so that's the first like that was the first time I
00:34:15
went H that's a little weird yeah airport airport so I'm I'm sitting there with uh U jet ski and we're like eating
00:34:22
nice restaurant ni Bobby's giving me all this wisdom about my career and show bu
00:34:28
and I could see from afar Abby running around in circles sprinting like she's running one way the other and I'm
00:34:34
watching her going what the [ __ ] is she doing yeah and she's sweating right and
00:34:40
she comes she goes I don't know what to my phone is and she's like do you know where it is no AB we're eating where's my phone
00:34:51
yeah yeah and then then she goes she she pulls out her computer she goes it's here right and but I don't know where
00:34:59
here is so then you had to leave the [ __ ] table and go find where was it it was at a we found it pretty fast a
00:35:06
gate agent had it yeah and she could not she was like why does the gate agent have it and I was like someone probably found it yeah and gave it to a gate
00:35:13
agent thank God somebody just gave they could have just removed the Sim and got a phone yeah dude she's multiple and
00:35:19
then what the bag with the bag she they had to check her bag cuz all right all right and then she was like they got is you going to be on the plane she sprinted but my favorite part was every
00:35:31
time it happened she goes I swear this never happens never felt like a sitcom character's tagline you know what I mean
00:35:38
like a sitcom like every time something was like like you know glue all over the place and she's like this never
00:35:44
happens commercial break I mean it was so insane but Vancouver is so it was such a
00:35:50
cool City so much fun oh my God and then we went out afterwards we hung out for a little bit with a bunch of friends a
00:35:55
bunch of people that we know mo Mandell was there Mo Mandel Jenna Sunday and uh and and Ted was there who made these
00:36:01
signs for us and then what did I do I said juice time to go home I had a call first thing 8 in the morning so I said juice it's time for us to go home I got to work in the morning and she goes yeah
00:36:13
I'm a little buzzed so we get a car and I said Carlos do you want to take a car back to the hotel what did Carlos do I
00:36:19
think I'm GNA look at he said it like this too real creep style he goes I think I'm going to stick
00:36:25
around I think I'm going to stick around and he said it real low and I was like ew right ew and may I say this
00:36:33
uhhuh I think your eyes are too big what what's I like my eyes what no no no what do you mean I like I could tell you I'm not going to name names right okay but there is somebody in your
00:36:44
group uhuh that's obviously doesn't like them me oh right right right right and you were like yeah I think I have a shot oh my God and I literally I went wow you have to get smaller eyes you you have
00:36:57
get my eyes right because you're swinging way you know what I mean yeah like he's like a elementary school
00:37:04
little Leaguer right in the [ __ ] big league his there's no way do you saying he was at Yankee Stadium and he plays t-ball yeah yeah there's no way do what do you think look like I played at LSU
00:37:15
and now I'm at Yankee Stadium and I'm like oh this isn't this kind of like L she's so above your league that's it's
00:37:20
un [ __ ] believable I agree that she's above my league but I don't I think I can make it to the next level well the
00:37:27
confidence I'm telling you this guy's confidence is staggering I've seen it in the past couple years I feel like oh I'm
00:37:32
like what was the biggest hiccup in that whole thing though uh she was married she's married
00:37:38
yeah that's how delusional but he's got I tell you I tell you he's got the horse
00:37:43
blanders on and he was going he thought dude I think this girl might dig me yeah and it's like and I didn't say anything
00:37:50
cuz I was like yeah man yeah I gotta you got to let the kid fly I got flaked on and that's why I C the wings well let me tell you yeah you know how the you know how that we've shown it on this remember the birds that we've seen that that are
00:38:02
born on the cliff and the and the mom lets it just fall out of the they let it fall and they hit their head the whole
00:38:07
way down and the ones that wake up are the ones that get to carry on with them but the ones that die die I'm mama a
00:38:12
bird and I and he said that he goes he's pretty pretty good-looking I was like oh yeah and he goes I think I'm going to
00:38:18
try and I was like go ahead and fall on the cliff I wanted him toit his head you
00:38:24
never why would I say anything oh I woke up though I woke up I'm here the next day yeah that this is my point though he
00:38:29
did wake up he is had a lot and he learned yeah he learned I gotta let him fall what am I what am I gonna do wow
00:38:36
but in the future this whole conversation wrapped up yeah if here's the deal we'll take a poll in fact we should put a poll up at the show MH girls don't want to talk to Carlos girls
00:38:46
don't want to talk to Bobby okay we could put a QR code up yeah yeah okay yeah that way you guys aren't fighting cuz fighting live I'm not fighting no no no I'm saying live for for the when
00:38:57
girls say that they they like you guys great no more infighting within the family cuz it's going to be bad I know
00:39:03
but if a girl walks me she goes I'm interested in Carlos right I will do it I mean it'll hurt it'll hurt bad it'll
00:39:10
burn right but I'll do it because that's the code that's the code I know it's going to be way late by the time this airs but did you see this video of Kid Rock shooting a gun at at the Bud Light
00:39:21
because he's all mad about that campaign did you see this no so stupid look at how dumb this video this will be this
00:39:27
will be weeks after this happened but look at this guy Grandpa's feeling a little frisky today first of all gross that's what car is g to be
00:39:39
like wait wait you know Kid Rock looks like a culan he does look Cy yeah yeah he's very calony look at that all right
00:39:46
start it over though yeah gr look at how this opening line tough opening line magga oh he's got a Maga hat on Wow wait
00:39:53
tough opening line though go ahead Grandpa's feeling a little frisky today gross let me uh say something to all you
00:40:04
and be as clear and concise as [Laughter] possible h Huh [ __ ] Bud Light and [ __ ]
00:40:23
anheiser Bush have a terrific day guys a big big Kors light fan it turns out like loves Miller Light Kors light just hates anheiser Bush hates him
00:40:35
really hates them they did they did like a tiered campaign with uh that Dylan mulany I told you about and so this is
00:40:42
his response to that Campaign which it I got to tell you seems like a logical response from a well balanced human can you imagine being so mad at a campaign you're like go get go get six cases of
00:40:54
it and I'm going to shoot it in my backyard not one person in his Circle was like I don't feel I don't even think
00:40:59
you need to do that we could just not buy it anymore yeah if you really didn't like it it's like this is basically like
00:41:04
a Yelp review that's on the same level to me as someone that's like the service was unbearably slow you're like just
00:41:10
don't go back don't go back how much is a bullet how much your bullets cost yeah I don't know for for that kind of gun I
00:41:17
let me let me guess a bullet probably costs $150 that's about it's a pretty good guess I would imagine pretty good
00:41:22
you think yeah 33 cents a round oh wow wow they're really cheap really cheap was Chris Rock's best joke from that
00:41:29
just make bullets too expensive why isn't AR-15 ammo so expensive it's considered expensive that price 33 cents
00:41:36
around Yeah well yeah because you know yeah yeah that's pretty expensive I guess I mean it it is in the world cuz
00:41:42
you heard he just you know what I mean right right huh but really sweet though I mean really it just feels like that's
00:41:48
a message of Love and Hope in the future shoot shoot a bunch of cans of beer I just when the video popped up on my Tik
00:41:54
Tok I was like why is this the move it looks like does he live in like Virginia or something it looks like kind of rural
00:42:00
where does he live I think he lives in Tennessee he lives in Nashville tell him to come to the show it's so weird you talking about Chris Rock special and
00:42:06
misplaced anger I like that part a lot it's he's got to be angry about something else yeah yeah that's 100%
00:42:12
true it's like what is that what was that about like you had to have a bad morning do you know what I mean let's
00:42:18
let's go through his day that led to Kid Rock shooting of the Bud Light right yeah okay didn't get any sleep last night yeah sleepless night you know cuz
00:42:25
his aunt Tilly has having heart surgery Tilly Rock huh or wait his last name is not rock is it it is now for the sake of
00:42:31
this [ __ ] yeah Tilly Rock Tilly Rock Great Name by the way but his ATI had open
00:42:37
heart surgery you know that right this is her second one I think oh [ __ ] I didn't know I don't know anything about him I'm making all the [ __ ] up oh yeah
00:42:44
yeah that happened an oh that anti yeah she's great open open for her it's open so she had you know she had open heart surgery for the second time so he didn't get good sleep right yeah in the middle of the night he woke up a bunch of times
00:42:55
to go to the bathroom he was rubbing his forehead in in stressful pain looking into the mirror thinking what if this is
00:43:00
till dog's last day on Earth and I didn't get to say goodbye cuz she Liv she's living in Canada or where is she live she lives in
00:43:07
uh Wales Wales England oh she lives in Wales yeah that's so far away Wales that's right Wales far small town small
00:43:14
town far so so he's mad about that yeah then he wakes up first thing in the morning he goes to get out of bed steps
00:43:20
on one of his dogs chew toys right goes right through his foot but it makes the sound so it's kind of
00:43:26
funny but it went through his foot and then in the distance he heard his rooster
00:43:32
die you know like yeah when they die in mid good morning that's a good morning right is that what they're doing well how do they do good morning is that what they're doing it's cockadoodle doo yeah
00:43:45
I know but I'm translating let's good morning that's awesome by the way they g g good morning yeah so they're doing that so he died in the middle yeah he was that's it oh
00:44:00
no didn't get good sleep worried about Tilly steps on his dog toy punctures his foot rooster dies right then what
00:44:07
happens at breakfast uh he found out his favorite show got cancelled wow wow which one is what show got cancelled it's this Canadian show I actually watched it in the hotel room what's it called uh being Erica oh being Erica I
00:44:20
love that show wait they canceled that show being Erica I might shoot up a a case of Bud Light over that yeah yeah
00:44:26
being did get canceled unfortunately well he just started watching it and so he didn't realize it ends at a certain
00:44:32
point uh so on top of all these things now being Erica gets cancelled okay and so I bet his eggs tast it's so funny it's like a show that he would not watch but I love it how what do you mean I
00:44:44
mean look at it there's no way Kid Rock watches that first of all the relationship between Erica and Jack the guy in the back right there this like
00:44:50
constant will they won't they it's one of the best story lines I've ever seen it's amazing and their boss Derek who's right to their their deedi right mhm
00:44:58
yeah Derek dies right it's a murder merer he gets murdered yeah that's right they're all smiling in the classroom now but guess what dude when he gets shived
00:45:05
different world so that ruins breakfast eggs taste bad right eggs are goingon to taste bad maybe one black guy in the show I don't know well that's why Kid
00:45:12
Rock loves it that's kid loves it because no minorities better not be any blacks on that show oh it's a Canadian show yeah yeah okay that's where Tilly used to
00:45:24
live I told you she was from Canada and then she moved to Wales okay so he loved all the Canadian stuff so then eggs tasted bad he had a bad
00:45:31
breakfast this guy and then on top of all that stuff he goes on the internet right oh [ __ ] here we go and he sees Yep this endorsement campaign for this Dylan
00:45:43
mulany with budlight and it's not about Dylan mulany and budlight it's not at all is it it's about Tilly it's about
00:45:49
being Erica it's about the eggs tasting bad the rooster dies the toy punctures his foot the shower by the way didn't
00:45:56
even say that cold water only no hot water because a hot water heater broke in the middle of the night the same reason the rooster
00:46:02
died right everything was going bad so what does he do he grabs his AK-47 he goes out to the field and he y a case of Bud Light who heavy that's what happened
00:46:14
that's what happened this is the real break it's not about the Bud Light it's not about the Bud Light by the way those
00:46:19
were his cases he bought that for the party he was going to have tonight for Tilly's homecoming but she got she got she was in the hospital I have a
00:46:25
question yeah can you eat e a rooster you can eat anything let's Google it can you eat a rooster I mean what a roosters can be eaten but they're not commonly found in the marketplace IM me is much more challenging than hens because it
00:46:36
has them in breed to grow fast and heavy like broilers or friers if you decide that rooster sounds tasty make sure you
00:46:42
cook them low and slow for best results so people do eat them Ah that's all I want to know I've never
00:46:48
had a rooster sandwich you know the photo to the right like in that tube the yeah the one to the right yeah yeah just
00:46:54
pinch and zoom that one right there what you think what word what word yeah what word do you think when you see that
00:47:00
photo what's one word that I think when I see that photo right there yeah yeah well I mean gross probably oh not me
00:47:06
what [Music] missionary there's not nothing think Mission no no okay my bad I got to tell you it does not look
00:47:19
appetizing I can say that there's some erotic right or no Carl let's be honest is that erotic to you guys yeah the legs
00:47:25
like the dark meat looks like yeah the right yeah it looks like she's getting [ __ ] don't leave me alone with these
00:47:32
guys on the tour juicy I got you you're fine wait a minute that is that a that doesn't look erotic to you juice no you guys are taking inanimate you that's why the
00:47:43
celibacy thing is not going to last getting hardons from from it looks like death yeah that looks death are there
00:47:48
any farms we're going to on the tour that's what me and Carlos are going to do F check them out you guys are
00:47:54
going to fight over the chicken you're and comedian BBY Lee was arrested today for [ __ ] a
00:48:01
rooster there are some Farms on the way we'll get you something yeah Bobby is gonna be like what are you doing Carlos
00:48:07
that was my rooster she said she liked me yeah BBY BBY do you ever think that like what would we do if you and I just
00:48:18
lived on a farm well I'd be working all day and then you'd be sleeping all [ __ ] day so it'd be tough yeah but I do the night work there is no night work
00:48:26
there's night work there got to be Network yeah there there are there fireflies yeah what are you going do I whisk them away no you want the
00:48:33
fireflies you want the fireflies they're good are there other ones that you don't like like ticks no one wants lime
00:48:39
disease I know but you're not going I'm destroying them okay you're going to go find tick yeah tick Destroyer okay this is not going to work you know what you
00:48:44
could do for me what on the farm that we work on what you could be I tell you what what you could do in the afternoon because you can't you can't do you don't
00:48:50
have to do in the morning you have you could be a beekeeper oh I love that you can keep our bees can I wear the suit or
00:48:56
no you have to wear the suit oh I don't want to well okay I want to be the first beekeeper to be completely
00:49:04
naked you what if you get your dick stung it's fine no it's not because they sense fear there's no fear I know why
00:49:11
you want it why because it'll swell it up a little bit that's [ __ ] that's [ __ ] rude that's
00:49:18
[ __ ] rude you just want to get a swollen beasting dick yeah so you can that oh you know what's funny that just
00:49:24
reminded me whenever the when whenever the girl Nick that used to cut our hair in Australia on the movie she would say
00:49:30
like uh she like you need a little trim today Andrew and I'd be like oh we maybe and she goes I'll just take a little off
00:49:36
just a bees dick that's what she used to say a bees dick be dick just a bees dick on your air and she would just take just
00:49:42
a little snip off she goes just a beast dick not much yeah I was like I love that phrase in America if you said that at a corporate setting they'd be like
00:49:47
you're fired oh right for talk about dicks yeah as I put more chapstick on every time I say dick I got to put some chapstick on there is a lot of work to be done on a farm at night so what give
00:49:58
me one Harvest equipment Transportation maintenance and pesticide okay so pesticide application that one's legit yeah yeah and I would do that okay fine
00:50:05
you'll he the hear the plane boss boss the plane the plane the plane you're flying it but I'm saying it
00:50:12
to myself they do it with the plane right like crop duster yeah I would do that at night okay yeah this would
00:50:18
actually be a good but in the morning there's so much more work to be done there's so much more heavy lifting during the day oh that's true we' hire
00:50:24
people yeah what do you think we're doing we're going to buy a farm why'd you pick me to
00:50:30
lift everything well you got to help me out he's sleeping you remember Matt Damon bought a zoo no this is bad
00:50:35
friends buys a farm oh my God wait what was it called We Bought a Zoo right We Bought a Zoo Matt Damon bought a zoo We
00:50:41
Bought a farm bad friends buys a farm if you or someone you know in your local community has a farm for sale please hit up bad friends pod uh and let us know
00:50:48
because we'd love to buy a farm I think we should do it not not only that I this is not a joke no no this is a joke oh
00:50:55
it's not no it's not is it is a joke I want to buy a farm no I I want an animal sanctuary love that I want to like raise
00:51:02
animals and stuff I absolutely love that yeah that's similar to a farm yeah it is yeah that's what I mean yeah so yeah we
00:51:09
do want a farm yeah but he means but he wants free roaming he wants free roaming animals that are not touched for use of
00:51:15
the farm oh I love that but like Jurassic Park but with pigs and we have little you know the ride wait wait so do
00:51:22
we have patrons that are going to come see our farm yeah we have a ride you're right can we shoot guns on the tour yeah
00:51:27
we are going to shoot guns I refuse no you are no cuz I'm going to get what get hit you going to kill yourself no the kick back oh no no no it'll I'll go brain damag we'll show you how to do it
00:51:38
and I'm brain damaged I'll be your arms yeah I don't think I've never done it it does a kickback right yeah but it's not
00:51:45
like that it's not that extreme it's not I don't want to go pop and then a bird falls what the [ __ ] good shot that
00:51:51
pretty good yeah what if I stand behind you and I'm your arms and I fire the oh we could do that cutest thing on earth
00:51:57
like like you guys are in ghost doing Pottery but with guns but I can't see because I'm behind you yeah you know
00:52:02
what I watched on the on the plane was the uh it was called it it was a new show on Netflix like Wilderness people
00:52:07
it's kind of like uh the one that we both like where they put them in Alaska you know and they have to survive the longest to make money I love it yeah but
00:52:14
this one's wild I don't know the name of it but it's it no watch no that's not it I don't know the name of the show I
00:52:20
downloaded it but the wild thing was it's um to win the money you have to be with a team and the team start sabotaging each other so like at the beginning the old one that's alone alone
00:52:31
is the one we used to like I love it where you win a million dollars if you survive the longest this one is you're with a team of people five people and
00:52:38
you can only win the money if you're with a team you can't win solo so some people drop out some people try to
00:52:43
switch teams and then other people start sabotaging other teams like ruining their tents at night stealing their gear
00:52:49
whoa that's a good one it's tight it's tight but they they only learned later in the series that they're allowed to
00:52:54
kind of there are no rules at the beginning they're all kind of playing by the you know the rules that you would
00:53:00
assume is like we don't need to go near the other group we fish individually we da d da but then at some point somebody
00:53:05
breaks the rules steals from another Camp because they're hungry how far can you go I can't tell you how it ends
00:53:11
really it's pretty dark I'll go all the way you're just going to kill everybody except for one guy you need a
00:53:18
guy or a girl with you because you need to win with a team does a guy have to be alive you can still a team here they are
00:53:24
yeah yeah there's something about Bernie you I mean can you do that by the way the combination of weekend at Bernie and
00:53:31
something about Mary might be one of the funniest movies there's something about
00:53:36
Bernie just did that right his dead his his dead body just he just says come come in his hair I did that I did that
00:53:44
combo I combo two movies wow but imagine them dragging him to a party with jizz in his hair like there's something about
00:53:53
Bernie that's true what a what a great mov it's a great movie what did you watch on the plane you better you guys
00:53:58
better load up your uh iPads to watch stuff on the bus the streaming is going to be tough you better download Baby
00:54:04
[ __ ] oh we can't wait but is there going to be like a DVD player yeah there's a
00:54:09
DVD have DVDs well I'm hoping we can play a movie in the bus at all times okay we will but also who who has DVDs I I'll bring the DVDs I've got the Matrix
00:54:22
trilogy I've got um uh view from the top with gwth balra right great what else I'm just gonna watch my own Pi some George Carin DVDs let's watch some stuff
00:54:34
with her I like I like TV on at night do you guys like TV on at night no no no oh
00:54:42
this is going to be a long can I ask you a question yeah please I never thought about this mhm you know before I go to bed I
00:54:53
masturbate yeah there's a rule we didn't talk about yeah yeah so before I go to bed every night mate are we sleeping on
00:54:58
the bus right we are so what does one do you have to go outside you have to go outside if you want to Jer off in the
00:55:04
woods yeah well it doesn't have to be the woods it can be the fields but you have to jerk off you have to bring a jerk blanket you don't know about this
00:55:10
no this is a tour bus staple you got to bring a little blanket you lay down on the ground you burrito yourself in the blanket you jerk off in it okay on the
00:55:16
ground yeah you got to lay down outside the bus yeah or maybe maybe you know what I'll take this opportunity not to
00:55:23
do it actually this is nice if you want to practice real celibacy then no ejaculation at all yeah I think I'm
00:55:30
going to do it but if you if you go too long without ejaculating you know it starts leaking out of you through the Dig everywhere just everywhere you cry
00:55:38
it you can you're like Jesus first of all first of all you wouldn't even have to tell us
00:55:44
that you're jerking off you would just do it in your bunk without us knowing why would just how loud are you when you
00:55:50
jerk off well I've never done a silent I'm Ruckus it's a Ruckus what do you mean are you you're audible when
00:55:55
you're doing it yeah I make yeah of course oh yeah you know mean all that no nobody makes noises when they jerk off
00:56:02
like that he's like harder to himself yeah I go to the left to the left I like well Beyonce is fine
00:56:09
do you guys make noises when you jerk off no no that's insane everybody is quiet didn't you when you grew up in a house with your brother and your parents
00:56:14
you didn't have to jerk off quietly like a like a human everyone has to be quiet when they do it well I always do it in the bathroom yeah me too but you you
00:56:22
still have to be quiet in there yeah you know um I'll learn how to do it I'll be a ninja I mean it's in your blood I'll
00:56:29
masturbate like a ninja I got to tell you the most embarrassing thing about learning to jerk off in the in the bathroom was my dad like what an [ __ ]
00:56:36
we're at dinner and I had just gone through you know really learning about how to do it and we're at dinner and
00:56:44
like it's quiet and my dad has like shoveling peas in his mouth I remember him eating
00:56:49
peas and he like takes a break and he's like chewing and he goes been spending a lot of time in the bathroom
00:56:58
and my mom was like Hey and I was like oh my God they've been talking about it wow it gave me the worst Panic on Earth
00:57:05
dude wow and after that moment I didn't jerk off for like a day no it was it [ __ ] me up dude it it gave me so I was so embarrassed I was like but you did it through memory back
00:57:16
then right what jerking off yeah oh yeah well back then you didn't have anything I mean computers barely loaded a porno
00:57:22
picture it took like 25 minutes it's it we yeah we had to jerk off to the you know what I did the most actually was uh
00:57:28
um Victoria Secrets Victoria Secret was my favorite dude I'd steal that immediate my mom never got one if never
00:57:36
right I'd give her like the holiday one you know what I mean yeah that I'm like yeah I guess they only send it out for Christmas it's so funny how jaded we are
00:57:42
now how spoiled we are you mean yeah well like when it comes to that like if if you said I'll give you a million
00:57:48
dollars here's a Victoria Secret right you might as well just give me the Bible cuz I'm not going to be able to do it not going to be able to do it yeah yeah
00:57:54
like could you do it could you masturbate through Victoria Secret I mean 20 years ago yeah no now no not
00:57:59
there's no way I I could probably now I mean I don't know I mean if I if I went two months without doing it maybe I can
00:58:05
do it yeah yeah yeah but not next day after watching porn or whatever do you need visuals juicy um sometimes but also
00:58:12
have a pretty good imagination see women have such better imaginations than men creative Harry Potter yeah what about a
00:58:19
woman right yeah yeah it was and she was jacking off to that when she she was definitely jacking off to her own stuff
00:58:25
also your imagination I thought you were going to say also the vaccines aren't real yeah
00:58:33
also sorry Trump 2026 um no but I do think that most women in in in my life that I've ever encountered can do that
00:58:46
without porn don't need visuals yeah don't need it they don't need it because their brains are more powerful when it
00:58:51
comes to sexualization we we are weak we are weak with that stuff we need to see stuff
00:58:56
that's why [ __ ] men see things and and it's like you know like the cartoon where they get the googly eyes and the jaw drops It's like because we're visual
00:59:03
beasts we like need the thing to be like yeah they don't need that like you women
00:59:08
love to sometimes make love in the dark I hate the dark I do I need a little bit
00:59:13
of a bathroom light in I have a flood light on in the room really yeah I don't like it in the dark do you like sex in
00:59:19
the dark um yeah I think I better than yeah they like the dark cuz they don't want to see us yeah oh really yeah I'm
00:59:25
sure Brad Pit nobody wants to [ __ ] that guy in the dark I like you know you know what I mean no one ever [ __ ] a hot guy
00:59:31
in the dark yeah we're getting [ __ ] in the dark because that's stand oh that's what it is it hurts yeah yeah inter the
00:59:37
problem is they don't want to see us yeah I had a girl friend uh of mine who every time she get up from the bed she
00:59:44
would cover her ass she hated her ass what do you mean put her hand over her crack yeah with both hands she would get
00:59:49
up and just with and cover her ass and go to the bathroom that's very weird weird what I never saw it
00:59:56
I never saw it live you never saw it well do it live do it live do you think it's because she didn't want you to like
01:00:03
thummer her or something why would I do that well well maybe somebody did in her past and she's now like every time she
01:00:08
gets up she's like well that's a thing that happens yeah she just hated it but do you cover your penis what like if you're with back in
01:00:17
the day when you're with a woman yeah it's you know you you wherever you are it's lit right yeah sometimes after you
01:00:24
make love you know it shrinks no what it shrinks after you make love to a woman your penis doesn't stay hard it shrinks
01:00:31
back to its normal State I mean I I think post post coidus I still stay pretty I don't stay hard but it stays pretty nice I mean I think it's my favorite look oh you you like it yeah
01:00:43
there's like my fall look you know right yeah when it goes when it goes down there's my oh you do have fall colors
01:00:48
yeah yeah what what what season am I you're 100% fall as well this whole show is fall oh it yeah we're yellow and orange we're fall oh and we also have a little bit of uh she's spring she's
01:01:01
definitely spring yeah summer spring what's Carlos winter yeah I winter nights winter nights freezing yeah ice
01:01:09
yeah and then um Pete winter no I think I gota be honest with you what's a guy Paul bunan he's yeah yeah yeah I think
01:01:18
Pete Pete's Autumn oh maybe yeah which is the same as as fall different word for fall yeah but but but honestly but but Autumn is different because you're
01:01:30
you're different you scare us a little bit I'm not going to lie there's days where Pete comes in and I think he's going to hurt us I'm a little bit
01:01:35
serious yeah see yeah yeah and he's such a lovable creature when you know him you know him but man oh man there's days
01:01:41
when I walked in today he went did you miss me Andrew I said I sure did Bud yeah and he
01:01:47
goes I'm back from Spain wow you know he was in Spain for like how long were you there uh one week was it fun God it felt
01:01:56
of fun would you go with Andreas or no no I went with my family my wife's from Spain oh wow they had this incestuous
01:02:01
thing where like he's with a Spanish girl Andreas is with a Pete type of girl love Spain Spain's the best see what I
01:02:08
mean and George is with Filipinos it's like it's all weird and twisted it's twisted I don't like it I like Real Americans what like true Americans I'm
01:02:16
from here I just I went on a vacation yeah yeah foreigners what the [ __ ] yeah dude get it right get it right d get it
01:02:22
right man all right here's the deal well I've been to Louisville hold on cuz Sarah my ex-girlfriend Sarah
01:02:29
is from Louisville Louisville Kentucky so I used to go to her house and you know spend the Christmases and stuff there I love Louisville that's where the
01:02:35
that's we're going to go see the hores by the way you know that right I've never ridden a horse oh I love hores I
01:02:40
don't think they're going to let you on one but we're going to go we're going to be in Louisville this week and then we're going to be in Atlanta we have two
01:02:45
shows in Atlanta the second show first show sold out come get the second show second show I love Atlanta so much yeah
01:02:51
one of my favorite cities to go perform in and then we do Memphis Memphis uh Tennessee by the way we found out before
01:02:58
this it's drag is illegal in Tennessee so we're going to be all in drag for almost the whole show great cuz I think
01:03:03
we'll get fined great isn't that where Elvis got in trouble didn't he get a ticket in Memphis for you know where did Elvis get in trouble for gyrating his
01:03:10
hips he got like a ticket didn't he get arrested for it or something anyway in Memphis Tennessee because Tennessee is
01:03:16
against drag we're going to uh we're going to be wearing all drag everybody is going to be in drag for the show
01:03:22
remember when Aussie Osborne peed on the Alamo love it did you know that it he was banned from ever going to the Alam
01:03:29
for biting a bat there right b a bat but also have you been to the Alamo I have yeah it's worth peeing on yeah I want to pee on every time I look at it I want to pee on it yeah they fought Mexicans there [ __ ] that yeah we don't like it
01:03:42
don't raid the [ __ ] building then in Jacksonville Florida that's where he got arrested yeah so stupid all right so hey
01:03:47
Memphis and then we go to Northfolk Virginia I bet you almost none of you guys have been to Northfolk I've been there you have you played yeah well
01:03:53
we're doing it and then we're doing North Carolina hey Durham Durham home of the Durham Bulls great ball club and
01:03:59
then Charlotte after that uh in North Carolina because after that in May baby in May we're going to Texas we're doing
01:04:05
our big old Texas run we got two shows in San Anton Houston we're going to see his family I want to say something just
01:04:10
for um so that we can get along and you know I think we should if there's resentments that build up or anything
01:04:17
that we want to say we should just say it at at the time okay because I don't want to hold in anything you know what I
01:04:23
mean are you GNA tell us something now no I'm just I don't know what's going to come up okay right but there's like
01:04:29
certain things like you know Carlos don't do that you know what I mean so I just want to be able to let's just be
01:04:34
mindful about people's emotions yeah cuz we're we're going on the road I've never spent that much time with you no no have
01:04:41
you ever spent that much time with me no well I mean we we we've gone on trips together yeah but that's different than
01:04:46
this this this is like this well so I think we should have us we should have this will be really fun you know what I think we should do let's do a bad
01:04:52
friend's box and put a box on a table and it's anonymous and you can drop cards in there anonymously about what's
01:04:58
bothering you that's happening on the bus okay yeah and we'll read it off we'll read it off at the end of the week
01:05:04
end of the week yeah or after let's be real about it let's not [ __ ] around no let's just say it yeah yeah I'm going to
01:05:09
say it let's be honest and say it can I put my initials well then it's not Anonymous buddy what's I'm not saying
01:05:14
with the full name yeah but maybe I'll put his initials oh see that's what I'm saying and that's going to be my complaint always my [ __ ] initial how
01:05:21
will you know yeah yeah you won't know yeah I won't know yeah this is good bad friends box on the bus bad friends Bo On The Bus uh come see us live badf friends
01:05:28
pod.com come see us so much we're touring around all over the place we're in the middle of the tour right now love
01:05:34
you guys love you thank you for being being a bad [Music] friend wo