00:00:00
This was such a mindfuck because think [music] about this. I do a $106 million launch. My mom got
00:00:04
to see it, which is really cool. She dies 4 weeks later. I haven't felt this miserable in years.
00:00:10
Shit's just hard sometimes. You have tough [music] seasons, bad losses, and what makes it harder is you don't know
00:00:15
when it'll end, but know it will end. So, for anyone going through it right now, you do the only thing you can do.
00:00:20
Keep fighting. >> I text you when you to me at that because I had never heard you talk like
00:00:25
that publicly before. >> Yeah, I mean it was it was a really tough quarter for me.
00:00:29
>> What do you mean by that? >> I think I had nine lawsuits that were open at that in that
00:00:32
>> That's [music] a lot. >> And then Leila had 18-month recovery. She was in the thick of like going
00:00:37
through the pain of that before about to get the surgery. Everything sucked. Bill Ackman had this really great
00:00:43
interview. He said, "When you're going through that that those rough patches, you're not going to
00:00:47
solve this in a day. Like it you can't finish it." And I think that's what that's what so painful about it is you
00:00:51
have this open loop. Whenever something reminds you of it, it's like you get into this loop again of like
00:00:55
>> [music] >> rumination and just like, "Oh, what if it goes wrong?" and catastrophizing.
00:00:58
You just have to >> [music] >> take one bite at a time, and then every, you know, month or 2 months you can look
00:01:04
back and be like, "I made some progress." When my mother passed this year, and this was such a mindfuck
00:01:09
because think about this. I do a $106 million [music] launch. My mom got to see it, which is really cool.
00:01:14
She dies 4 weeks later. I get to have this this moment of like all these things come to fruition,
00:01:19
>> [music] >> and then my mother dies. A freak accident. Yeah. And so, I'm I'm just like, "How am I
00:01:25
supposed to show up?" And also, one of the things that I found really interesting was that people will judge
00:01:31
how much you love someone by how much you choose to suffer. Why does how much I suffer have anything
00:01:35
to do with how much I love someone? If you did lose somebody, I'm sorry. I don't think the person that you lost
00:01:39
probably wants you to suffer. How low am I going to go? I was probably not like the most thrilled about life during that
00:01:45
period, but I thought, "Well, what can I do? What are my controllables? >> [music]
00:01:48
>> I'm still going to work content. I'm still I'm still going to help businesses. Well, I'm still going to
00:01:53
work out cuz I feel good when I work out. Why do I why would I stop doing that?"
00:01:56
>> Did you have motivation though? I would say yes, but not for the reason that people think. I was motivated for two
00:02:00
reasons. One because I don't think she would want me to stop. And number two, because those things
00:02:06
>> [music] >> made me feel better and I felt bad. And so I wanted to feel better. I tried to
00:02:10
change as little about my life as possible. Some people say like oh, you need to take time to mourn. This is like
00:02:15
why does the way I mourn have to look the way you mourn? She must have been so proud of you. She was.
00:02:19
We talk a lot about your dad, but we've never really spoken much about your mum.
00:02:22
No, I don't. She's a sweet lady. Yeah, she always [music] she always believed. As my way of honoring her and her
00:02:43
memory, >> [music] >> I'm going to continue to try and pursue the the path that she knew I started pursuing when I
00:02:52
left home. And I don't think she would want me to abandon that path. And so I'll just
00:02:58
keep fighting.