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Ivan Toney Finally Opens Up About His Ban & Reveals His Preferred Future Team!

August 21, 2023 / 01:46:34

This episode features Ivan Toney discussing his football career, including his suspension for breaching betting rules, his experiences with rejection, and his journey through various clubs.

Toney reflects on his early years in football, sharing how being rejected by Leicester City at age 15 impacted him. He emphasizes the importance of hard work and resilience in overcoming setbacks.

He talks about his move to Newcastle United, the challenges he faced with scoliosis, and the emotional toll of being suspended for eight months due to betting violations. Toney expresses his feelings about missing the World Cup and the allegations against him.

Throughout the conversation, Toney highlights the support of his family, the camaraderie at Brentford, and his ambitions for the future, including a desire to play for England and win trophies.

He concludes by discussing the pressures of being a professional athlete and the importance of mental health, especially in light of his recent experiences.

TL;DR

Ivan Toney discusses his career, suspension, and resilience in overcoming challenges in football.

Episode

1:46:34

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in May 26th you did a famous tweet I'll

00:00:03

speak soon with no filter you ready to

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speak 100

00:00:11

and

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seismic news for the Premier League

00:00:16

football is brutal that 15 is being

00:00:19

rejected at Leicester 18 I got towards

00:00:21

got a squad number took the pictures

00:00:22

I'll know where the club says and I'll

00:00:24

look into sign you no more you have

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scoliosis in your back it hasn't

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affected your game Tony I'm a Tony I

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don't feel like as

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Ivan Tony has won his first England

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caller you missed out on the final World

00:00:39

Cup squad do you know why the

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allegations somebody's out to get me to

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stop me from playing finger Ivan Tony

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has been suspended for eight months with

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breaching at betting rules I read the

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whole fa report you acknowledge that you

00:00:51

lied in that meeting with the FX I

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didn't lie I just couldn't really

00:00:53

remember you admit to 232 breaches

00:00:55

destroy those I didn't do vital

00:00:57

responsibility so the whole process

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could be cleared up but the bit I to

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struggle with is that using someone else

00:01:02

to do the best you'd said to give me I

00:01:04

can't have that one in my name bets for

00:01:06

your team to lose it's a bigger story

00:01:09

what impact was it having on your life

00:01:10

with me I never saw nothing I'm not sure

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emotions that's been times I've just I'm

00:01:15

in a room on my own Just Looking Into

00:01:17

Thin Air and just

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we're gonna get back to football clubs

00:01:24

are gonna come knocking the next Club

00:01:25

I'll go to if I was to move it would be

00:01:30

before this episode starts I have a

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small favor to ask from you two months

00:01:34

ago 74 of people that watch this channel

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didn't subscribe we're now down to 69 my

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00:01:50

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00:01:51

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enjoy this episode

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[Music]

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foreign

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[Music]

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I always believe that to understand a

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person you have to understand their

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earliest years I kind of see our

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earliest years as the like oven that

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we're formed in so if I if if you take

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me back to your earliest years what do I

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need to know about you to understand the

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man you are today what were the

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characteristics of that environment that

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shaped you just out the front of where

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lives like on the front is a park unlike

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the older guys will just be out the

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front playing and that's me at like

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seven eight trying to get involved and

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these guys are like 15 16 and they were

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playing rough no matter if you're

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eight nine ten trying to play with us

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play with them they're gonna be rough so

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that kind of helped me into today's game

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how I am now

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progressed a lot quicker and like even

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when I was like 16 breaking through

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Northampton I kind of had that bashing

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around at a young age by the older guys

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so being 16 getting Bust Around by men

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let's say

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I was kind of like used to it

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what about hard work what was your were

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you a hard-working man at that age

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in terms of running and I I never liked

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running I was always the lazy one at the

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back of the at the back of the group

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because I knew when it's time to get on

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the pitch I would score goals

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but like we all know

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hard work beats Talent when talent

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doesn't work hard so it's like kind of

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like if you've got the talent and you

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can work on the hard work and put them

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both together then

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you give yourself the best chance of

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becoming

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a top athlete and you and you put the

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work in to improve that part of your

00:03:37

game and attitude

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yeah I had to because there was when I

00:03:41

was training like when I was at

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Leicester

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I got told I wasn't getting a

00:03:46

scholarship there so then I went to I

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didn't really wanna

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play football as much because being

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rejected at Leicester is kind of like

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okay let me just chill for now but then

00:03:59

like my parents just like

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go to go to Northampton because that was

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a game that we played Northampton when I

00:04:05

was at Leicester and then I think the

00:04:06

Phantom said if anybody gets released

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from them

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let us know

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I think Lester must have put me in touch

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with Northampton and I was kind of like

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I'm in an hour and about going but then

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I ended up going and it was kind of like

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everybody's playing for scholarship

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and then it was like on the last day

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everybody already knows again a

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scholarship and I was the only one

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that wasn't told

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so everyone is in the dressing room

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talking ah we've got scholarship

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scholarship

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and I'm there still on trial thinking

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when am I getting told and it wasn't

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until the next morning on the meeting

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like the first meeting of all the

00:04:44

scholarship players joined up I got a

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phone call and said

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he's got a scholarship we'd like him to

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come down and

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I think that point was kind of like

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okay I got scholarship this is my chance

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now

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but there was a moment there where you

00:04:59

were because of the rejection from

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Leicester you were considering

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doing something else with your life yeah

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I feel like nobody likes rejection

00:05:06

like being rejected it's not the best

00:05:08

feeling

00:05:10

and it being like

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basically you're not good enough to be

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playing football how I saw it you're not

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good enough to be playing football

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even though it was just I'm not good

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enough for Leicester I might be good

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enough somewhere else somebody else

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might value what my quality is a lot

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more than Lester did have to see that in

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the moment though yeah it's very hard

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it's very hard and how old 16s was like

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15 15 yeah

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that's kind of like

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you don't want it you don't you want

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that rejection again it's like a kind of

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fear of getting that again

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then when I do like I said when I got

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the scholarship on what's new

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it wasn't happening again

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because your journey through football

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just generally has been a real climb

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you know it's been a real real climb

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like and also reflect on the fact that

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most so many kids at that age 16 years

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old they get they get a rejection and

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they don't bounce back from it and if

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they don't make it to the very top

00:06:06

they'll often

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take that badly and pursue a different

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career path but you're rejected at 16

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you persevered you got into the team at

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Northampton you made a good

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um good impression there and then

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eventually you end up at Newcastle at

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what 19 18. 18 years old how was that

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experience

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it was crazy first time away from home

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at such a young age 18 is like

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and as well you thought he was a man

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like from League two there was talks of

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you going to a Premier League team and

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like

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I would never in the Northampton

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changing feel like

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I was a man like there was talks going

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on but nothing's done until it's done

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so it's kind of like actually before I

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was going to Newcastle I was supposed to

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go to wolves right

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but I've got there I've got tools

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um I've met everybody winning the change

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rooms got my number on uh took the

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pictures

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they come to the contract side

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and then I think that was a bit of

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talk with my agent and the club

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on certain things and then it related

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back to us and I was all just confused

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me my family didn't know what was going

00:07:21

on and then

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I don't know where the club come out and

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said um

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we're not looking to sign you no more

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due to you having scoliosis in your back

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so we just think it was so confused from

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getting the squad number meeting all the

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players meeting all the staff and then

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for them to come out and say

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your scoliosis in your in your back we

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wasn't we're not looking to sign you

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it's kind of like

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is that really the reason is there more

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behind it

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but then

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be from having to go back to Northampton

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like I've said my goodbyes at

00:07:59

Northampton and I'm supposed to be

00:08:01

concerning the Wolves then the next day

00:08:03

I'm back in Northampton and training

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with the boys

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everybody's like what's happening and

00:08:06

when I just sat me down and said listen

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don't dwell on that I'm sure other

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things will come and come into place and

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I think a few weeks later new class

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we're interested in

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I went there scoliosis in your back what

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is scoliosis and were they aware that

00:08:22

you had scoliosis

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I thought there was aware because before

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we set up to see a specialist

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because they they I feel like

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that wanted to know what was going on

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how bad it was because I think it was

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certain scoliosis it stops you from

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walking at a certain age and just gets

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worse and worse but

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I feel like I would be busy especially

00:08:43

she said you'd be lucky to be walking at

00:08:46

28 still really yeah

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and then I was just like it doesn't

00:08:52

really register like you think at the

00:08:54

time at 18 I'm thinking well I'm fine

00:08:56

now I'm I'm enjoying football now so

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it's that really registered but being

00:09:00

27.

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closer to 28 you kind of think well

00:09:05

I'm strong fit and healthy food

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continuously so

00:09:10

what is scoliosis

00:09:12

where your back's not straight

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It's like got a slack yeah yeah

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hasn't affected your game I don't feel

00:09:21

like it has and you know going back to

00:09:23

moving to Newcastle it's like

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going from League two to Premier league

00:09:30

is

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crazy

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like as soon as

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since I went there I don't know fancy

00:09:38

you get recognized but it's not crazy

00:09:41

and then go into their Newcastle I'm in

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the hotel

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everybody's recognizing me straight away

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it's like a crowd outside the hotel

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waiting to see me and it's kind of like

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this is what happened

00:09:54

so fast you're away from home as well

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away from home bam a long way as well

00:09:59

what you what are you feeling when

00:10:01

Newcastle make that phone call and they

00:10:03

they say they're interested in you and

00:10:04

then you move there what does it feel

00:10:05

like as an 18 year old because I can

00:10:07

only imagine I was I was always playing

00:10:09

football when I was younger I was always

00:10:10

hoping a little bit to be a football I

00:10:11

knew I wasn't good enough but you know

00:10:13

I'm going with that whole got injured at

00:10:14

16.

00:10:18

yeah he's crazy he is crazy he

00:10:21

this is so exciting like

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you want to tell everybody you want to

00:10:25

say I'm going here tomorrow yeah I'm

00:10:27

going here I'm going here but with me

00:10:29

how I am nothing's done till it's done

00:10:31

especially after the Wolves stuff yeah

00:10:33

like that was on the back of my mind so

00:10:35

I'm thinking right just wait until it's

00:10:37

all sorted then you can tell everyone

00:10:38

well I'm so excited I want to tell

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this person that person this is

00:10:43

something

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so yeah it was it was crazy my head was

00:10:47

all over the place I'm thinking

00:10:49

I'm actually going to the Premier League

00:10:50

like

00:10:51

I've made it I'm here

00:10:54

but little did I know is how far if I

00:10:57

made it

00:10:59

what happened

00:11:02

I feel like when you take that step you

00:11:04

get you get noticed more

00:11:07

you get more money

00:11:10

and just just do silly things like

00:11:15

like you get mixed in the wrong crowd

00:11:16

going out

00:11:17

and buying things you wouldn't normally

00:11:20

Buy

00:11:22

just a bit naive

00:11:25

and it's as well being away from

00:11:28

my family although they kept on telling

00:11:31

me don't do nothing silly look after

00:11:33

your money this and that you're gonna

00:11:35

think okay but they're not here to

00:11:37

control what I've got hold of right now

00:11:40

I can spend it on this I can spend on

00:11:42

that

00:11:43

like you just do things like I said

00:11:46

things you never normally do like we're

00:11:48

getting personal shoppers to come to the

00:11:49

house and

00:11:51

you don't think I'll go to the shop and

00:11:53

buy yourself stuff if you want to do

00:11:55

that so it's like these kind of things

00:11:59

but

00:12:00

yeah I think it

00:12:02

didn't come at me fast I wouldn't say

00:12:04

that I'd say just like a surprise kind

00:12:07

of thing like

00:12:09

like I said I thought I'd made it so

00:12:11

whatever happens I'm fine I'm in the

00:12:13

Premier League

00:12:15

what was the advice that you needed at

00:12:16

that point that you didn't get like if

00:12:18

you could go back now and have a chat

00:12:19

with Ivan and say listen bro you arrive

00:12:21

at Newcastle that day and you get a

00:12:23

chance just to say a couple of things to

00:12:25

him what'd you say I'll sit down and

00:12:26

have a long chat with him

00:12:28

it would be a long chat

00:12:31

no I think I'll just say like this is

00:12:34

where the hard work starts it's not

00:12:36

finished you're not you can't pull it on

00:12:38

cruise control you got to go to exit

00:12:40

gear

00:12:41

like yeah I'm at a Premier League club

00:12:42

but I haven't played yet

00:12:45

I've not got continuous games under my

00:12:46

belt to be saying okay I'm a premier

00:12:48

league player now

00:12:50

so it's like

00:12:52

I'd say to yeah a younger Ivan or

00:12:55

anybody that's in that situation go and

00:12:56

doing such a big jump

00:12:59

to say that's when the hard work starts

00:13:01

were you in cruise control do you think

00:13:03

yeah yeah if if I even was moving I'd

00:13:06

probably put a handbrake on really yeah

00:13:09

I just thought I'm Premier League now

00:13:12

as well you've seen all the big boys

00:13:13

like literally training there

00:13:17

it's like yeah I'm here now

00:13:22

and you play two games before they

00:13:24

loaned you out yeah come off the bench

00:13:25

twice against United and Chelsea and

00:13:29

then you went on quite a long loan spell

00:13:32

Barnsley Shrewsbury Wiggins gunthorpe

00:13:35

when you find out you're getting loaned

00:13:36

out how do you receive that as a player

00:13:37

I've always wondered this when you're a

00:13:38

young player in the club big you're in

00:13:40

the Premier League because I think

00:13:40

there's a lot about Manchester United as

00:13:42

a big fan we always low now are like

00:13:44

younger ads and I wonder how how that's

00:13:47

positioned to you as a player and how

00:13:50

you receive it

00:13:52

it's not the best feeling okay because

00:13:54

at the time it's kind of like I want you

00:13:57

know I'm here like

00:13:58

I'm here now you want to send me away

00:14:00

like yeah and you got the personal

00:14:02

shopper coming over exactly yeah yeah so

00:14:04

I need to I need to sort some things out

00:14:05

to me come in Shrewsbury yeah I don't

00:14:09

think you'll travel that far

00:14:11

But now y'all I feel like like it's at

00:14:14

that age you don't really think

00:14:16

what you're gonna learn for

00:14:18

I mean first team experience is

00:14:21

this is probably the best at that age as

00:14:24

well and like knowing that because I

00:14:26

feel like I just specter

00:14:28

Houston football is cool

00:14:30

like tick attacker pretty football then

00:14:33

go into

00:14:35

League one like I said on loan

00:14:38

you're gonna get bashed around so you

00:14:39

need to be ready for that

00:14:41

physical battle

00:14:43

and I feel like going online definitely

00:14:45

help me looking back now it helped me a

00:14:48

lot but at the time I was thinking I

00:14:49

don't need to go and learn I'm ready to

00:14:50

be

00:14:51

playing in the Premier League I feel

00:14:53

like from Young I've always had that

00:14:55

that my dad always told me no matter

00:14:57

where you are if you have that mentality

00:14:59

that you're a premier league player but

00:15:00

at the moment you're just on League one

00:15:01

that's fine but if you don't have that

00:15:04

mentality that

00:15:06

I'm a premier league player so I don't

00:15:08

need to try here then

00:15:10

it's not going to work out so it doesn't

00:15:12

matter where you are if you have the

00:15:14

mentality I should be playing in the

00:15:16

Prem but right now I'm playing here

00:15:17

that's fine

00:15:19

and I feel like you you go you go

00:15:21

a Long Way to the where I am now um

00:15:24

I'm feeling playing

00:15:26

that bit of device

00:15:29

that my dad gave me was

00:15:31

very key when you went off on loan and

00:15:34

they say okay you're leaving Newcastle

00:15:35

now does that take you out of cruise

00:15:37

control and into like I've got something

00:15:38

to prove again it should it should have

00:15:40

it did but it didn't really because I

00:15:43

always believed that no matter what

00:15:45

happened where I went I'm going back to

00:15:47

Newcastle

00:15:48

so no matter if I played didn't play at

00:15:51

all or played rubbish I'm going back to

00:15:53

Newcastle back to the Premier League but

00:15:56

not knowing the effects that could have

00:15:57

well it did have in the end

00:15:59

even though

00:16:02

I think all the clubs I went to about

00:16:04

one

00:16:05

hour I left goal scorer

00:16:08

but

00:16:09

it was like

00:16:10

I could have looking back I feel like I

00:16:12

could have went that

00:16:14

extra step further

00:16:17

yeah

00:16:18

scunthorpe united six girls and 15

00:16:21

appearances

00:16:23

showed a huge promise while you're on

00:16:25

your loan spells as a prolific goal

00:16:26

scorer and then at 22 years old you

00:16:28

transferred to Peterborough United

00:16:31

after failing to secure a regular place

00:16:33

at Newcastle now that

00:16:36

that must have

00:16:38

been an interesting moment because

00:16:39

that's kind of like another knock back

00:16:41

in it goes back to like Lester the

00:16:42

Leicester rejection and stuff that's

00:16:43

like another

00:16:44

step down you've made it to the Prem and

00:16:47

now you've got

00:16:50

to take a step down

00:16:51

yeah it was a must not actually not I

00:16:54

wouldn't say a massive not not back it

00:16:56

was a knockback but it was kind of like

00:16:58

maybe a not back I needed at the time

00:17:01

because like I remember sitting down

00:17:04

with my dad and my agent at the time and

00:17:06

saying listen

00:17:08

like me me and my dad are brutal whoever

00:17:11

we work with we want not we want the

00:17:12

honest honest truth no matter if they

00:17:15

say

00:17:16

we don't want him he's not good enough

00:17:17

for us I'd rather my agent tell me that

00:17:19

but how the relationship was that the

00:17:22

agent with my agent at the time

00:17:24

it kind of sugarcoat things right so

00:17:27

meanwhile that kind of had to get out of

00:17:29

him what did the club say like just tell

00:17:32

us be honest and his words were the club

00:17:35

don't think you're good enough already

00:17:36

at the time at this moment in time

00:17:38

so it's kind of like in my head it's

00:17:40

like okay fine no problem it's time for

00:17:42

me to go elsewhere

00:17:43

then regroup restart it wasn't like I

00:17:46

was too old it was just it was just uh

00:17:48

not back and set back that like I said

00:17:51

at the time probably needed to

00:17:53

kick start my journey again do you think

00:17:55

Newcastle were right in saying that

00:17:59

um possibly like don't get me wrong you

00:18:01

go to a great Club they had some they've

00:18:03

had some great players in doing very

00:18:04

well at the moment but I feel like

00:18:07

I didn't really have

00:18:09

a chance in the first team

00:18:11

to prove if I was good good enough

00:18:15

I feel personally anyway I know too far

00:18:18

at the time was

00:18:19

when Newcastle were fighting to stay

00:18:21

stay up

00:18:24

in the Premier League when Rafa Benitez

00:18:25

first come in oh yeah

00:18:28

so it's kind of understandable you

00:18:29

wanted

00:18:30

these players uh

00:18:32

try and keep them up

00:18:34

we wanted to experience and stuff more

00:18:35

than like to be given youth younger

00:18:38

players a chance and stuff is that what

00:18:40

you're saying yeah I feel like I mean

00:18:42

you can't really put so much

00:18:44

responsibility on you players or young

00:18:46

players to keep you up in the Premier

00:18:48

League it's such a big ask but

00:18:50

I feel like maybe The Following Season

00:18:53

it was kind of like

00:18:54

could he get a Sniff and I think he kind

00:18:57

of was it is his own players in them and

00:18:59

done his own own thing which is that's

00:19:02

football

00:19:03

so if you go to Peterborough

00:19:05

um you're close to your family at this

00:19:07

point yeah yeah oh Mommy's boy at Art so

00:19:10

I leave my mum around close and did it

00:19:14

change your attitude moving to

00:19:15

Peterborough unlike this whole cruise

00:19:17

control thing

00:19:18

yeah he did and especially when I went

00:19:21

to first went to Peterborough

00:19:23

I wasn't playing at the first

00:19:26

I'd say 10 games

00:19:29

the strikers out in front of me it was

00:19:31

scoring every game

00:19:32

assistant playing well

00:19:35

but the manager at the time Steve Evans

00:19:38

was just saying

00:19:39

the warrior trance will come and when

00:19:41

your chance comes it's up to you to take

00:19:43

it

00:19:44

a new trance came yeah and then took it

00:19:47

uh yeah 100 took it he scored 24 goals

00:19:51

in 32 League One games at Peterborough

00:19:53

which is insane yeah yeah like well like

00:19:58

the competitions all over the field but

00:20:00

especially as as a striker you need to

00:20:02

you drop the school goals and especially

00:20:05

when the other two scoring goes if you

00:20:07

get a one Sniff and you don't score

00:20:10

you'll back out again and it gives him

00:20:12

another opportunity

00:20:13

the director of football at Peterborough

00:20:15

said you were an incredibly hard worker

00:20:17

he also said you were their best

00:20:18

defender because you headed away nine

00:20:20

out of ten Corners

00:20:22

I feel like yeah them games I kind of

00:20:25

had a magnet on my head that was just

00:20:27

bringing the vote towards me but yeah

00:20:29

now I think

00:20:31

the hard work as well like when I'm

00:20:33

loved by a manager I feel like I'm a

00:20:36

club I feel like

00:20:38

it's in me to want to give back I want

00:20:40

to do a lot of things

00:20:43

for like run for a brick wall four the

00:20:45

manager that's wanted me in this

00:20:47

position did they become like proxy

00:20:49

father figures to you in that regard

00:20:50

because you're clearly a man that's

00:20:52

close to your father did they kind of

00:20:54

you see what I'm saying is that is it a

00:20:56

similar relationship like uh where you

00:20:58

want to do them proud

00:21:03

when I first signed a piece with Steve

00:21:05

Evans like the first time you spoke to

00:21:07

me

00:21:08

he was just it was like a friend like a

00:21:10

normal chat even though you got the

00:21:12

respect as a manager but he was saying

00:21:14

listen I want you to come in school

00:21:15

girls

00:21:16

and go go go how like the goal just go

00:21:20

for us benefits you and us because we're

00:21:22

going to go higher and you're going to

00:21:24

go out so it's a win-win

00:21:26

and I think

00:21:28

him putting an arm around me at that

00:21:31

time knowing

00:21:32

I've come from a Premier League club

00:21:34

and saying it's not really not back

00:21:37

this is where you kicks out your journey

00:21:39

again

00:21:41

having that I think definitely helped me

00:21:44

and didn't you have I read somewhere

00:21:46

that you had a agreement with them like

00:21:47

a verbal agreement that if a bigger Club

00:21:48

came knocking they wouldn't stand in

00:21:50

your way Peterborough

00:21:52

that probably was a verbal agreement but

00:21:54

if anybody knows the fee of a fever

00:21:57

staff and the owners and therefore we

00:22:00

have different ideas but I mean yeah I

00:22:02

guess when I did go that was the right

00:22:04

timing like

00:22:05

every every player thinks when there's a

00:22:08

move on the cars you want to try and

00:22:09

rush it through and

00:22:10

if things aren't right they're not right

00:22:13

for a reason like you can't rush good

00:22:15

things good things aren't rust

00:22:18

I think at the time that was a chance I

00:22:20

could have went to somewhere I try and

00:22:21

rush it through and it was like don't

00:22:23

worry oh really so there was office from

00:22:24

other clubs there was office from other

00:22:25

clubs yeah but big clubs

00:22:28

um biggest at a time okay Championship

00:22:30

clubs yeah Championship clubs and he was

00:22:32

saying

00:22:33

just just be patient you're gonna get a

00:22:36

better club and I'm just there like not

00:22:39

kick him out I'm not throwing my toys

00:22:40

out of the problem just be like wow it's

00:22:42

just a chance to move now

00:22:44

who used to know what can happen blah

00:22:45

blah and then I ended up staying in

00:22:49

and I went to Brentford which was

00:22:51

probably the best

00:22:53

choice in the end and around this time I

00:22:55

mean just before then 21 years old you

00:22:57

become a father for the first time yeah

00:22:59

I mean that's that's as well what

00:23:01

helps me Kickstart My Journeys as well

00:23:04

because I feel like

00:23:06

I've got people to provide for

00:23:09

um I have expensive taste as well so

00:23:12

it's either choosing my expensive taste

00:23:14

for my family so

00:23:16

if I could school goals and help both

00:23:19

then it's perfect so I think that's what

00:23:22

helped me pick things up and

00:23:24

I had to provide for people

00:23:27

does that Focus you because I'm not a

00:23:28

dad yet but it's around the corner for

00:23:30

me I'm sure

00:23:31

um does that Focus your priorities in a

00:23:33

sense like does it make because I speak

00:23:36

to my mates who have always had kids and

00:23:37

they almost described that moment when

00:23:39

their baby first comes they kind of see

00:23:41

the world differently and they're like

00:23:42

responsibilities differently and stuff

00:23:44

100 100 like you can't do the things you

00:23:48

normally do

00:23:49

you have to think baby first in all

00:23:53

aspects did it make your game better 100

00:23:55

yeah yeah 100 definitely how

00:23:59

it's in like I want to make him proud so

00:24:01

when he's older that's my dad he's done

00:24:04

this he's doing this this is this so

00:24:06

it's kind of like a pride thing as well

00:24:08

as wanting to do well

00:24:11

for my family and

00:24:13

have a better better lifestyle for

00:24:15

everybody not just me and my people

00:24:17

provide for when did you find out that

00:24:19

Brentford are interested

00:24:21

it was actually training at St George's

00:24:23

Park yeah uh with Peterborough

00:24:26

and there's talks of

00:24:28

going here there and I was kind of like

00:24:32

I'm gonna know him just like yeah when

00:24:34

it's when it's something concrete then

00:24:37

let me know right now I just want to

00:24:40

focus on training hard

00:24:42

because it's easy to if you let us stray

00:24:45

when this club's interested in you this

00:24:46

club's interesting you hear loads of

00:24:48

things

00:24:49

but then nothing's concrete like this is

00:24:52

all well and good he's looking at you

00:24:54

he's looking at you but this time I'm

00:24:56

not a kid no more when they want me and

00:24:58

put a bidding then we can start talking

00:25:01

was

00:25:02

hearing they're interested what does

00:25:04

that mean that doesn't mean nothing like

00:25:07

everybody can be interested but nobody

00:25:09

wants you yeah yeah so when

00:25:11

Brentford come along and I was I was

00:25:13

interested and actually put a bid in

00:25:14

that's great it's like okay

00:25:16

I spoke to the manager he kind of

00:25:20

it was straightforward and said you're

00:25:22

gonna come in and be the main man

00:25:24

we want you to be starting every game

00:25:26

and

00:25:26

school goals and

00:25:28

do your job then

00:25:30

either take us up or go to a go to a

00:25:33

higher Club

00:25:36

so you get that call from Brentford they

00:25:37

put a bid in you speak to the manager

00:25:40

Thomas Frank yes and Thomas says listen

00:25:43

you're going to be on number one

00:25:45

I think it was a no-brainer I think I

00:25:47

did speak to other clubs

00:25:50

um

00:25:50

actually I went into Rangers oh nice

00:25:53

spoke with uh the manager there which is

00:25:56

Steven Gerard at the time

00:25:58

and Manchester United did you speak to

00:26:01

yeah they said I wasn't good enough

00:26:03

yeah

00:26:07

I went to I went to um went to Rangers

00:26:10

we spoke a bit but then they said I was

00:26:12

like

00:26:14

twos of those two strikes at the time

00:26:17

and then I was looking to get another

00:26:18

one in so it would have been like four

00:26:20

strikes I think and I think the

00:26:21

formation they played majority of the

00:26:23

time one strike at top so you would have

00:26:25

been like third choice or something yeah

00:26:26

something like this

00:26:28

but and then uh we went to Celtic we

00:26:31

spoke to Celtic and I think it was like

00:26:33

the same there I'm one of three strikes

00:26:36

or something like this

00:26:37

and I think

00:26:39

at the time of when it was I was moving

00:26:42

I wanted to be like the main guy like I

00:26:45

think the crucial thing for me is

00:26:47

playing games

00:26:49

even though I backed myself on competing

00:26:51

with other Strikers but I honestly know

00:26:53

that when I go in what first first

00:26:55

through the door on the main man up

00:26:58

front and it's up to me to keep my

00:27:00

position I feel like when I went to uh

00:27:02

when I spoke to the manager at Brentford

00:27:04

he pretty much

00:27:06

said you're the main guy and I don't see

00:27:09

nobody

00:27:10

taking your spot

00:27:12

so you make sure you produce produce the

00:27:15

goods and it feels really

00:27:17

you you've worked a lot of clubs

00:27:19

um you've played a lot of different

00:27:21

clubs brunfield are special they're

00:27:24

really really special because they are

00:27:25

based on their resources they are

00:27:27

objectively over achieving

00:27:29

in a really really significant way

00:27:32

um

00:27:33

what is it about Brentford from your

00:27:35

experience that is make what is that

00:27:37

magic that they have

00:27:40

hard work plain and simple hard work

00:27:42

like we're not the best

00:27:45

technically gifted team we have some

00:27:48

magicians in the team but other than

00:27:50

that it's just hard work

00:27:52

I mean

00:27:54

and we fear nobody we respect them we

00:27:56

don't fear them

00:27:57

so when we go to the let's say I'm

00:28:00

filled away

00:28:02

or Chelsea aware of these kind of games

00:28:05

we know they're probably on paper better

00:28:07

than us got some big names and this and

00:28:09

that but

00:28:11

if at the end of the day the main thing

00:28:13

that wins the games is

00:28:14

hard work and a little bit of quality I

00:28:17

guess putting the hole in the back of

00:28:18

the net

00:28:19

and I feel like

00:28:21

throughout the

00:28:22

throughout the club everybody knows what

00:28:24

the manager wants

00:28:25

you have to you have to you have to be

00:28:27

willing to run for your teammate plus

00:28:29

your left first your right and the fans

00:28:31

and everybody and everybody knows the

00:28:33

responsibility they have

00:28:35

on their shoulders when they step onto

00:28:37

the pitch

00:28:38

so I think that's that's probably what's

00:28:40

brought us to where

00:28:42

and how well we're doing at the moment

00:28:44

and even like at the moment the team

00:28:46

playing without me I hear and people say

00:28:50

oh drinking breakfast we're going to be

00:28:51

like this now you're not playing this

00:28:53

and that I don't think in no they're not

00:28:55

gonna struggle because

00:28:57

they work hard and when you work hard

00:29:00

you give yourself the best chance

00:29:02

of winning the game

00:29:03

and I I know deep down Brentford would

00:29:06

be fine with or without me

00:29:08

well you've played a lot of clubs right

00:29:10

so you can kind of compare and contrast

00:29:11

is there anything else other than just

00:29:13

that work ethic that you've noticed is

00:29:15

just different at Brentford

00:29:17

so you've got super hard work is there

00:29:19

anything else their approach to things

00:29:21

or the strategy or the way that they I

00:29:22

feel like they're to govern this as well

00:29:25

how everybody's like everybody talk to

00:29:27

everyone I've been at clubs where it's

00:29:29

like

00:29:30

a certain groups it there certain groups

00:29:32

that they're like everybody's divided

00:29:34

it's like but it's not that rental

00:29:36

everybody

00:29:37

makes it to everybody how you got people

00:29:39

of Spanish Danish which is majority of

00:29:42

the club at the moment

00:29:45

um English and everything and everybody

00:29:48

just mix it together so it's not like

00:29:51

oh let me where my friends where should

00:29:54

I sit down at lunch you just get your

00:29:56

lunch sit down here you talk with

00:29:58

forever and the manager

00:30:01

that comes from him I feel like he makes

00:30:04

sure that togetherness and humbleness

00:30:06

like there's no

00:30:08

nobody at the club thinks

00:30:10

they're better than nobody like even

00:30:12

last season I scored 20 goals I was I

00:30:14

wasn't about nobody

00:30:16

I Was the Same

00:30:17

the person that doesn't really play too

00:30:18

much

00:30:19

they're not less of a person than me

00:30:22

we're all the same we'll

00:30:24

in it together

00:30:25

so I feel like that comes from the

00:30:27

manager and his philosophy at the club

00:30:29

and how he wants things to be run what

00:30:31

are the things that you often think with

00:30:33

managers and CEOs and stuff like there's

00:30:34

they have their like core principles

00:30:36

which you just get bored of hearing

00:30:38

because they say over and over and over

00:30:40

and over again what are those things

00:30:42

that he just repeats over and over and

00:30:43

over again togetherness yeah humble yeah

00:30:46

an attitude

00:30:49

and I guess he polices that pretty yeah

00:30:51

all the time it's all over the club it's

00:30:54

all in the meetings

00:30:56

which is probably why like I said

00:31:00

we do we're doing so well

00:31:02

as a club and as a whole whole unit

00:31:07

what's the what's the dressing room the

00:31:09

training ground dressing room culture

00:31:11

like

00:31:12

I can ask this because I've spoken to so

00:31:14

many players at United in particular and

00:31:16

especially in the Fergie areas they

00:31:17

always talk about the like the

00:31:19

self-policing culture in the dressing

00:31:21

room

00:31:22

you know like what's that like

00:31:24

versus other clubs yeah it's like like I

00:31:27

said it's yeah it's good there's other

00:31:29

clubs I've been at has it's been good as

00:31:31

well but not

00:31:32

how it is in Brentford I feel like

00:31:33

Brentford is probably one of the best

00:31:35

dressings I've been in in terms of

00:31:39

everybody knows that drill everybody

00:31:42

knows that position everybody's helping

00:31:44

others like everybody's just like the

00:31:46

respect if something's on the floor tidy

00:31:48

pick up pull in there

00:31:50

like

00:31:51

them kind of things is key if you want

00:31:53

to be

00:31:55

achieving something big and I feel like

00:31:57

with that

00:31:59

in the change room as well as in the gym

00:32:01

or in the in the dinner

00:32:04

is key and everybody's up for everybody

00:32:07

it was it's like one big family unit

00:32:11

26 years old you're named brentford's

00:32:13

player of the season

00:32:15

um

00:32:16

you scored 12 goals in the First Premier

00:32:18

League season and then you scored 20

00:32:19

goals in your second Premier League

00:32:21

season finishing third in the golden

00:32:23

beat rankings behind Harland and Harry

00:32:25

Kane

00:32:27

that's big yeah

00:32:30

it is big is Big but sometimes I don't

00:32:33

really

00:32:34

realize how big it is

00:32:36

because sometimes I'm at home I'm

00:32:38

thinking

00:32:39

yeah well not first in my head if you're

00:32:41

not first you're lost

00:32:42

then let my family say but look who

00:32:45

you're behind and look at the caliber

00:32:47

players that are playing in the Premier

00:32:49

League and you scored more than these

00:32:51

guys

00:32:52

I'm always thinking yeah but I could

00:32:53

have scored more and you think it's

00:32:55

called more than Holland

00:33:01

I mean not

00:33:05

more but I look back on chances that

00:33:07

should have been a goal and I feel like

00:33:10

there probably is like 15 15 16 chances

00:33:13

that I probably could have scored or

00:33:15

should have scored

00:33:16

so if I was as clinical as Ireland was

00:33:20

not to say I'll beat him but I could be

00:33:24

a lot higher than a lot higher than 20.

00:33:27

England

00:33:28

's football team

00:33:30

I saw I think I saw a post on your

00:33:32

Instagram a couple of weeks ago about

00:33:33

that being a huge dream for you

00:33:36

to play for England yeah

00:33:39

I think

00:33:40

everybody wants to pay for England yeah

00:33:43

I remember just screaming like

00:33:47

Gerard's name and the lampard's name

00:33:49

like when I'm on the field just kicking

00:33:51

and they said when that

00:33:54

opportunity was around and I was in

00:33:57

talks of it

00:33:59

just didn't it didn't feel real

00:34:01

from being

00:34:03

Ivan from the fountain just playing out

00:34:05

the front getting bashed around by the

00:34:07

old a lot too actually having a chance

00:34:09

to play for England was

00:34:11

something I would never have jumped off

00:34:13

you missed out on the final World Cup

00:34:15

squad

00:34:18

um lots of circulating rumors about why

00:34:22

do you know why

00:34:24

um

00:34:25

I guess

00:34:27

I guess it comes down to

00:34:30

allegations

00:34:32

on the Ben scandal

00:34:34

but I feel like

00:34:36

personally I felt like it was a bit of a

00:34:39

questionable time when they decided to

00:34:41

bring it all out and then when they

00:34:43

actually dealt with the situation come

00:34:45

the end of the season is kind of like

00:34:47

why'd you bring out then

00:34:49

to

00:34:51

and then punish me

00:34:54

at the end of the season

00:34:56

so they brought so I guess you're saying

00:34:58

that you suspect they brought it out at

00:35:00

that time to prevent you going to play

00:35:01

for England I assume so I'm to make it a

00:35:03

bigger story ah okay

00:35:05

personally anyway I don't know if it's

00:35:07

true that how not to know what's

00:35:10

behind the scenes but I feel like if you

00:35:12

have somebody go into the World Cup

00:35:13

that's

00:35:15

supposed to be betting then it's kind of

00:35:17

like

00:35:18

a bigger story

00:35:21

what's the real I'm not really clued up

00:35:23

on this or how fa thinks the fa

00:35:25

the England team

00:35:28

play Under the fa

00:35:31

yeah and the fa are also the sort of

00:35:34

body that brought the charges against

00:35:35

you yeah so they

00:35:37

so one might assume that they release

00:35:40

the charges at that point because if

00:35:42

they didn't then there might be some

00:35:43

ramifications on the England team or the

00:35:45

perceptions of England team or something

00:35:47

yeah I assume so right like I'm not too

00:35:50

aware of all this stuff but

00:35:52

I feel like it was a bit of a

00:35:54

coincidence when they desire to bring it

00:35:56

all out and then

00:35:59

having to be dealt with the punishment

00:36:02

at the end of the season

00:36:04

so far after it's kind of like

00:36:08

I mean you know well I feel like yes I'm

00:36:11

banned now but

00:36:13

the biggest punishment for me was

00:36:15

missing out on playing at the World Cup

00:36:16

personally

00:36:18

I felt more hurt and

00:36:22

what's the word kind of like

00:36:28

yeah I just I just felt I felt down

00:36:30

around the time

00:36:32

it felt like

00:36:34

somebody's out to get me at that time to

00:36:37

stop me from playing for England it was

00:36:39

in my head like that's just how I seen

00:36:41

it at the time it's like

00:36:43

they want to punish me for this

00:36:45

missing out on England

00:36:47

the World Cup like everybody's dream to

00:36:50

be playing at the World Cup

00:36:51

and then further down the line

00:36:53

ban me as well

00:36:55

it's kind of like

00:36:58

a double hit I feel

00:37:02

in a sense was like I said

00:37:05

if he was going to do if he's gonna stop

00:37:07

me from going to World Cup do it there

00:37:09

and then and deal with it deal with the

00:37:10

whole situation

00:37:12

rather than doing that missing out on

00:37:14

the World Cup and then let me play the

00:37:15

rest of the season

00:37:16

and then binding me off to the season

00:37:20

is it is not enough in my head to be

00:37:23

fair anyway

00:37:25

I felt down about it what does that mean

00:37:27

in real terms if I was a flyer on the

00:37:30

wall in your life when when that

00:37:31

information came in that was probably my

00:37:34

excuse me that was probably that the

00:37:36

lowest point

00:37:38

I was like with me I'll never show

00:37:41

nothing I'm not sure emotion too tough

00:37:44

but I think that was probably the

00:37:46

lowest point I felt

00:37:49

like you'd ask me about uh

00:37:51

yeah he's always

00:37:53

but that is what it is it's kind of like

00:37:55

I don't want to talk about it yeah damn

00:37:58

it hurt it did hurt

00:38:01

do you cry

00:38:04

no I don't feel like crying solves

00:38:07

anything

00:38:08

personally that's my personal views

00:38:10

everybody says

00:38:12

to we need to show emotion you can cry

00:38:14

isn't this it's okay but like

00:38:17

I feel like I've only acquired once when

00:38:19

I see

00:38:21

my Nancy

00:38:22

from losing my pap

00:38:24

and seeing her her as much as she was

00:38:30

killed me inside

00:38:31

and it was kind of like I didn't cry cry

00:38:34

but it was like tears in my eyes coming

00:38:36

down and it's kind of like

00:38:37

it was painful

00:38:40

do you express your how you're feeling

00:38:42

to anyone in your life at that point to

00:38:43

your partner to your family your mum

00:38:45

your dad when you when you find out that

00:38:47

you're not going to play for England and

00:38:48

they've you know the rumors are out

00:38:50

about this gambling situation do you

00:38:52

tell anyone how you're actually feeling

00:38:55

um no but people that know me know

00:38:58

my actions

00:39:00

and how that leads to how I'm feeling

00:39:03

like I'd be a lot more like Snappy about

00:39:06

things

00:39:07

or I'll just be like

00:39:09

I can just be like a zombie talking to

00:39:12

me and it's not like really registering

00:39:14

but

00:39:15

my head's not really in the room kind of

00:39:17

thing

00:39:18

and that people that know me know

00:39:21

like

00:39:23

something's up something's wrong what

00:39:25

was the reality of the situation what

00:39:27

was going on inside your head

00:39:29

and how was it when you say down and you

00:39:31

say that was the lowest point how what

00:39:32

does that mean in real terms

00:39:37

um

00:39:38

I wouldn't say depressed as such

00:39:42

but it's kind of like

00:39:44

not far off that

00:39:47

if anything towards that direction but

00:39:49

not

00:39:51

completely

00:39:52

because like that's still how I stay in

00:39:55

my head it's like

00:39:56

next opportunity next next day another

00:39:58

day is another day to

00:40:00

put things right and try and be as

00:40:02

positive as I can

00:40:04

have you ever had anxiety

00:40:07

probably but

00:40:10

how I am I don't let it

00:40:13

get to me as much

00:40:15

like I'd say

00:40:16

the loan spells when when I'm on loan

00:40:20

I'm in a room on my own there's been

00:40:22

times I've just literally sat there and

00:40:24

about the TV on just just sat there I'm

00:40:27

just like

00:40:28

chilling and just looking to thin air

00:40:30

and just

00:40:31

thinking about things

00:40:36

but I've never

00:40:38

actually I'd never like let nobody know

00:40:41

how I'm feeling because how I am as a

00:40:44

person

00:40:46

I feel like it it eats away at me but

00:40:50

I'm just always a smiley one

00:40:52

always like I asked people at Brent for

00:40:55

now on the Drake I'm making sure

00:40:57

everyone's fine these kind of things

00:41:00

I think that's my kind of way of

00:41:02

beating my

00:41:04

emotions

00:41:05

um if I see this person happy for me

00:41:07

doing that then it kind of brings me up

00:41:10

to make me happy kind of thing

00:41:13

did you did you not speak to anyone like

00:41:15

a professional about about this stuff

00:41:16

because I always think when we bottle up

00:41:18

our emotions it's not like they go away

00:41:20

it's like almost like they they eat us

00:41:23

up from inside and they they come out in

00:41:24

other ways like you were saying

00:41:25

snappiness or whatever or

00:41:27

you know

00:41:29

surely there's someone around you that

00:41:30

said you need to see someone yeah that's

00:41:32

yeah there was but as well me being

00:41:34

stubborn is kind of like nah I'm fine

00:41:37

it's fine like I'll be right next

00:41:40

tomorrow I'll be right later I'll be

00:41:42

right next week

00:41:44

I feel like I can speak to anyone in my

00:41:46

family but like my stomach is just don't

00:41:49

allow me to

00:41:52

I think a lot of men can relate to that

00:41:54

you know yeah 100 I feel like

00:41:58

that

00:42:01

personally

00:42:04

in May 20 26th uh you did a famous tweet

00:42:07

do you know that's what I'm talking

00:42:09

about yeah I'll speak soon with no

00:42:12

filter

00:42:14

you ready to speak

00:42:16

um

00:42:18

what did that tweet mean

00:42:20

that was just speak on everything really

00:42:22

but obviously when I've done that they

00:42:25

went crazy and then

00:42:27

I think my family just said listen you

00:42:29

don't need to talk

00:42:30

just

00:42:32

when you get on a pitch

00:42:33

that if you do the talking

00:42:36

but what's up damage is done you can't

00:42:38

talk and

00:42:39

it's not gonna help no situation if

00:42:42

anything could not damage my reputation

00:42:45

or my career but

00:42:47

just make people think

00:42:50

not that I care what people think is

00:42:51

just could put in the words that who do

00:42:54

you think he is that kind of thing but

00:42:56

it doesn't benefit no parties what

00:42:58

headspace were you and when you tweeted

00:42:59

that probably a reckless one really yeah

00:43:01

how are you feeling

00:43:04

thinking

00:43:07

I don't care attitude

00:43:09

I'd say

00:43:12

kind of a defense mechanism against

00:43:14

pretty much yeah against everybody

00:43:16

like even like little things like

00:43:20

for the whole situation not not like my

00:43:23

friends my friends my friends the one I

00:43:25

sit with better people I chill with all

00:43:27

the time but it's even that one that

00:43:29

goes

00:43:30

I don't know if it's just me thinking

00:43:32

side of things but it's like when I go

00:43:33

certain places like maybe some people

00:43:35

don't want to be associated with me in a

00:43:38

certain way of

00:43:39

obviously because the media kind of

00:43:41

thing and it's kind of like

00:43:43

not killing that image but it's kind of

00:43:45

like you're doing this guy he's a match

00:43:47

fixer his match fixing football the the

00:43:52

I'm not even like I remember at the time

00:43:55

when there was allegations

00:43:58

I wanted to go to a restaurant and I was

00:44:00

like

00:44:01

no you can't uh we're not taking you

00:44:04

the restaurant a restaurant I was like

00:44:07

what do you mean

00:44:08

that's ours because the allegations

00:44:10

we're not allowing you in or something

00:44:12

like this

00:44:15

I was actually so confused

00:44:17

I was thinking for starters it's

00:44:18

allegations

00:44:20

and secondly your restaurant how can you

00:44:22

not let somebody introduce a bad press

00:44:24

That's Why They Call It Bad press

00:44:26

I was just baffled and even to like

00:44:31

my car insurance

00:44:34

they wouldn't insult me due to

00:44:37

the whole scandal

00:44:39

I was just like a car insurance they

00:44:42

don't want me on their books because

00:44:45

which was baffling

00:44:48

I read through the the whole

00:44:51

um fa report many many pages I think it

00:44:54

was like 25 2500 pages I have it here

00:44:56

just to understand the case better just

00:44:58

so I made sure I didn't make any errors

00:45:00

in my observations but there's no I

00:45:03

think there's actually a line in there

00:45:04

where the commissions say they

00:45:07

um didn't believe you were doing any

00:45:08

match fixing

00:45:10

it was far from match fixing yeah I

00:45:12

wrote that down in my in my notes that

00:45:14

um

00:45:15

They concluded that you hadn't been

00:45:17

match fixing or anything like that in

00:45:19

the report

00:45:20

um so that that allegation from whoever

00:45:22

said that the restaurant or whatever

00:45:24

um doesn't seem to have a basis in the

00:45:26

report at all I'm sure there was certain

00:45:29

articles on saying match fixing as well

00:45:31

which is that's probably the media for

00:45:34

you making it a big

00:45:36

talking point

00:45:38

when the fa first Contact you and

00:45:41

and they ask they make a request for

00:45:42

information don't they so they want to

00:45:44

know more information this is dating

00:45:46

back to 2022 I believe

00:45:49

when you get that first Contact

00:45:52

how does that feel like your dad or your

00:45:54

agent must have told you that the fa

00:45:56

have been in touch well they wanted

00:45:58

information from as far back as 2015.

00:46:03

so it's kind of like

00:46:06

well I haven't got that uh

00:46:09

I had back then to give you information

00:46:12

but I wanted to cooperate how I can to

00:46:15

let you investigate what you want to

00:46:17

investigate

00:46:18

and when I was when I the club actually

00:46:20

pulled me into a room and they spoke to

00:46:22

me and said they're faving in touch with

00:46:24

you match fixing this and that

00:46:27

they want to speak to you and I said

00:46:30

okay this is Brentford yeah that's okay

00:46:32

no problem like

00:46:34

then he is that have you done any bits

00:46:38

whilst whilst you've been at Brentford

00:46:39

and have you been betting on football

00:46:43

and I was like no I haven't I haven't

00:46:46

done no

00:46:47

bets are fixing fixing football match

00:46:50

fixing football like he's like okay well

00:46:52

therefore I want to speak to you

00:46:54

don't delete nothing on your phone

00:46:55

because there's a system like they said

00:46:59

they can get like old messages or

00:47:00

whatever they said I said no problem I'm

00:47:04

not I'm not doing nothing

00:47:05

if they can go through what they want to

00:47:07

go through

00:47:08

and then they called you in for an

00:47:10

interview in May 2022. yeah and they ask

00:47:13

you all these questions again about what

00:47:15

you've been involved in

00:47:16

with betting Etc yeah and they asked me

00:47:20

certain things happen like I said

00:47:23

seven eight years ago

00:47:25

onto the top of my head

00:47:27

so much information in front of me at

00:47:29

one time

00:47:30

it's kind of like as you can't remember

00:47:32

I can't remember and there's

00:47:34

I think I was in there for like what

00:47:36

five hours

00:47:37

five hours yeah

00:47:39

but at that time you you maintained to

00:47:41

them that you're not betting on football

00:47:42

yeah and I was I wasn't aware what what

00:47:46

that was what I was trying to get

00:47:48

you acknowledged later on that you you

00:47:50

basically lied in that meeting with the

00:47:52

fa I didn't lie I just couldn't really

00:47:54

remember what what they was asking for

00:47:56

at the time I couldn't remember until

00:47:57

they brought certain things in front of

00:47:59

me and it was kind of like okay he's

00:48:01

talking about my memory and we

00:48:03

like I said I cooperate with everything

00:48:04

they wanted to do and we kind of

00:48:07

spoke on it and then I told him the

00:48:08

truth about everything one of the things

00:48:10

people might find surprising is they

00:48:12

they asked for your they asked for your

00:48:13

mobile phones and stuff and then they

00:48:15

like image your mobile phones to check

00:48:16

like all the messages you've sent to

00:48:18

people

00:48:19

going back a long time on the on these

00:48:22

phones to find out everything you've

00:48:23

been said and also as you said they they

00:48:25

ask you not to delete any messages which

00:48:27

you didn't from from what the commission

00:48:29

said

00:48:30

um

00:48:31

but how does that feel when the fa asks

00:48:33

for your mobile phone and they you know

00:48:35

they're going to scan it

00:48:36

for everything it doesn't feel yeah it's

00:48:38

just kind of like

00:48:40

it's your privacy and they're like

00:48:42

invading it it's kind of like

00:48:45

I've got certain pitch on there I won't

00:48:47

want them to see like these kind of

00:48:49

things so it's

00:48:51

pretty much like you have to go with

00:48:53

what they're saying otherwise I feel

00:48:55

like I think you get a longer band for

00:48:58

not cooperating or something like this

00:48:59

so what what can I do yes you want to

00:49:03

take my phone take my phone and all your

00:49:05

bank statements as well they also your

00:49:07

bank statements which you handed over as

00:49:09

well yeah

00:49:10

um

00:49:11

you hand it over I believe multiple

00:49:13

phones no just one phone oh just the one

00:49:15

yeah I thought there was a there was

00:49:17

some they said that was another phone

00:49:18

but that wasn't that much fun I had that

00:49:22

as well and then eventually you admit to

00:49:23

232 breaches of their rules and their

00:49:26

favorite E8

00:49:28

um

00:49:29

which is betting over five seasons from

00:49:31

25th of February 2017 debating up until

00:49:35

January 21.

00:49:39

yes and

00:49:42

like I said there was people saying I

00:49:44

was match fixing but none of it was

00:49:45

match fixing it was just like I said

00:49:48

before I was betting myself to school

00:49:49

first

00:49:51

from

00:49:52

I think this was a while back

00:49:54

and it's kind of like that's not

00:49:58

like I'm not trying to not try and I'm

00:50:01

still trying to do the right thing it's

00:50:02

not like I'm

00:50:04

smashing someone and getting a yellow

00:50:05

card here then everywhere

00:50:07

yeah and the report actually does say

00:50:09

that it says that you weren't you

00:50:10

weren't this the commission said that

00:50:12

you weren't match fixing which is a

00:50:14

completely different completely

00:50:15

different thing yeah they're making bets

00:50:17

on like games that you're either you're

00:50:19

playing in on yourself to school all

00:50:21

betting on the team when you're not in

00:50:22

the team which is what from what I read

00:50:24

which is what what happened gambling and

00:50:27

generally when did that start in your

00:50:28

life when did you start first gambling

00:50:32

um I think it's just kind of like as

00:50:33

you're young it's like a little flutter

00:50:36

they call it like you're in like the

00:50:38

fair arcade kind of thing just

00:50:40

trying to win a little change or

00:50:41

something or these kind of things so I'd

00:50:42

say like

00:50:44

around 15

00:50:48

or 15 and such

00:50:52

and it and it got progressively worse

00:50:55

yeah I'd say the more money you get the

00:50:57

more

00:50:58

the higher the seats go

00:51:00

that's kind of like

00:51:03

oh if I lose this it's fine this is

00:51:05

coming next month

00:51:07

was did you not realize you know

00:51:08

throughout those sort of five years when

00:51:10

you were betting a lot 232 breaches that

00:51:13

your relationship with betting was

00:51:15

unhealthy I think on the on the 200 and

00:51:18

was it for 82 breaches like that was

00:51:20

there was some bets in there that

00:51:23

ladder record making that that but I was

00:51:27

willing to take responsibility just to

00:51:28

get the process

00:51:30

all over and done with because having

00:51:32

that hovering over me and trying to

00:51:34

concentrate my career is not is not the

00:51:36

best feeling far from the best feeling

00:51:37

and then Adam I've done well to finish

00:51:39

on

00:51:40

20 goals if that hanging over me but

00:51:43

in terms of

00:51:45

thinking do you have a problem it's kind

00:51:48

of like you don't think of

00:51:50

if I lose this this is gonna happen

00:51:53

so it's like oh once I won this this

00:51:56

this and this can happen

00:51:58

you never think of the negatives you'd

00:52:00

always think of the positives

00:52:03

and being on the money I was on

00:52:06

which affords a lot of time and it's

00:52:08

kind of like

00:52:09

it's fine I'll get there in the back end

00:52:10

of the month

00:52:12

oh that's coming back this and this

00:52:13

month oh he owes me this it's fine

00:52:16

what impact was it having on your life

00:52:18

betting

00:52:20

um

00:52:23

I feel like

00:52:26

it was just the impact it would have it

00:52:29

was just waiting for payday right that

00:52:32

might happen through the month she

00:52:33

weren't prepared it

00:52:35

but you could spend your wage and then

00:52:36

wait for payday spend your wage wait for

00:52:39

payday yeah well I'd pay and sort

00:52:41

everything I need to pay for first and

00:52:43

then it's like I got this play with do

00:52:45

that it's fine

00:52:47

but it'll come soon

00:52:48

so it wasn't it wasn't like

00:52:51

spend this money I should be giving here

00:52:53

or paying on this you took care of your

00:52:55

I took care of what needed to be careful

00:52:57

and

00:52:58

my head is kind of like my money is my

00:53:01

money for I couldn't spend it how I

00:53:03

wanna and

00:53:06

yeah pretty much pretty much like that

00:53:07

I've made my money

00:53:10

it's up to me I want to spend it

00:53:14

one of the one of the things that was

00:53:15

quite surprising is bets against bets

00:53:17

for your team to lose when you weren't

00:53:19

playing in the team

00:53:21

the you you must you knew bedding was

00:53:23

wrong right like you knew that as a

00:53:24

footballer you weren't allowed to bet

00:53:26

my knowledge of

00:53:29

not my knowledge of betting on football

00:53:31

though I don't think I recall once

00:53:34

somebody coming and just giving

00:53:36

a talk on their experience but not you

00:53:40

can't bet on football

00:53:41

so it wasn't like I shouldn't be better

00:53:43

than this shouldn't be bad on that and I

00:53:45

feel like I think the best that on my

00:53:48

team to lose when I'm not playing I

00:53:51

think a few of the majority of those

00:53:52

were

00:53:54

within the bets that I know

00:53:56

about a person I think I didn't didn't

00:53:58

do but I still took responsibility

00:54:00

of them for them so the whole process

00:54:04

could

00:54:05

get cleared up and you um you don't know

00:54:07

about some of these bets you're saying

00:54:09

because you did them through somebody

00:54:10

else yeah because and you did them

00:54:12

through somebody else because you you

00:54:14

knew you weren't allowed to right it

00:54:15

wasn't through that I didn't knew I

00:54:16

wasn't allowed to is that I didn't see

00:54:18

what I didn't want my parents seeing

00:54:20

while I'm doing my money

00:54:23

this was a point of contention in the

00:54:24

documents the fa said you know he's

00:54:26

betting through somebody because he

00:54:28

didn't want he didn't want the fa to

00:54:30

find out you're saying you you bet

00:54:32

through somebody else because your

00:54:33

parents the male was going to the house

00:54:35

and you didn't want them opening up the

00:54:36

post and seeing it yeah that's right

00:54:38

essentially

00:54:39

that was a point I mean the commission

00:54:41

go go their own way on that

00:54:44

um and then okay so moving on from that

00:54:46

there's there's all these aggravating

00:54:48

factors in the in the document

00:54:50

um was he aware of the rules I think you

00:54:53

eventually admitted that you were aware

00:54:54

of the rules in terms of not being able

00:54:56

to bet on football

00:54:58

um

00:55:00

going back to the days I think at

00:55:02

Northampton I think was it Northampton

00:55:04

um one of your previous chat I think

00:55:06

your previous chairman at the football

00:55:07

club was thrown out because of a betting

00:55:10

Scandal and then you have a relative in

00:55:12

your life that was also

00:55:13

issued with a breach of the fa rules for

00:55:17

betting in 2007 as well so they can

00:55:18

commission concluded that you were aware

00:55:20

of the rules and that you couldn't bet

00:55:22

but you sort of counteract that by

00:55:23

saying you didn't have I think it was it

00:55:25

was kind of a gray area right but I

00:55:27

think there was a time where

00:55:28

like I said the the clubs I've been at

00:55:32

they were like beginning of every season

00:55:34

though I feel like they'd have somebody

00:55:36

come in but not actually tell you what

00:55:38

you can and what you can't bet on what

00:55:39

would that person say just like this is

00:55:41

its experiences on betting like he'd

00:55:43

come in and say this is uh and then I've

00:55:47

lost this much I've gone through this so

00:55:51

when if you think about Ben don't do it

00:55:54

so it wasn't like you can't be banned on

00:55:56

football or you can't be betting on yeah

00:55:58

you can't be better on football it was

00:56:00

just his experiences of going through a

00:56:02

gambling stage

00:56:04

because uh so so you didn't know you

00:56:07

could you couldn't bet as a player no I

00:56:09

think it was a gray area something like

00:56:11

you'd hear you can you hit it you can't

00:56:14

and then there's certain things you say

00:56:16

you can't bet on like

00:56:19

I feel like it was a gray area

00:56:21

and you admitted in the second

00:56:23

aggravating factors about knowing

00:56:24

knowing whether you basically missing to

00:56:27

whether you were betting or not and in

00:56:28

the interview with the commission during

00:56:31

the process you said that you had lied

00:56:33

early on by saying I don't vote on

00:56:35

football in an earlier interview

00:56:38

um but you know that was one of the

00:56:40

first interviews you had and you had

00:56:42

responded I didn't burn football and

00:56:43

yeah that that wasn't accurate yeah that

00:56:45

was when obviously they threw everything

00:56:46

got me I thought if I was just deny it

00:56:48

then it's it's all fine I wouldn't find

00:56:50

nothing but then

00:56:53

went through and then

00:56:56

yeah I'd meet uh

00:56:58

I'm admitted to what Adam

00:57:00

in the fa the fourth average rate in

00:57:03

fact was whether the player sought to

00:57:04

conceal his identity when he set up his

00:57:05

own betting account 2017 the commission

00:57:08

um didn't accept the fa submission there

00:57:10

they didn't they didn't believe that

00:57:12

you'd concealed it in that regard

00:57:14

um whether the player deleted messages

00:57:15

issue number five commission concluded

00:57:18

that there wasn't evidence that you

00:57:19

deleted any messages

00:57:21

they they I was accused of dilemma's

00:57:23

yeah that's right yeah by the fa but the

00:57:25

commission said that they didn't have

00:57:27

substantial evidence for that yeah

00:57:30

um kind of just I was told not to and

00:57:32

you didn't delete nothing from the club

00:57:34

the commission couldn't find any

00:57:36

evidence that you had deleted anything

00:57:37

so

00:57:39

um and then the phone issue we've talked

00:57:40

about already the last issue was around

00:57:42

whether you had a gambling addiction and

00:57:45

they brought out a psychologist called

00:57:46

Dr Philip hopley who looked you did

00:57:49

interviews with you

00:57:51

um he's a highly qualified and

00:57:52

experienced psychiatric expert according

00:57:54

to the commission and he interviewed you

00:57:56

on two occasions and he formed a clear

00:57:58

opinion that you had a gambling

00:58:00

addiction

00:58:01

and accordingly the commission accepted

00:58:03

the findings of the doctor on this issue

00:58:06

and that's part of the reason that you

00:58:07

were given a more lenient sentence

00:58:09

um because Dr hopley said that you had

00:58:12

an impulsive uh compulsive disorder

00:58:18

yeah was that the first time you'd heard

00:58:20

of gambling addiction

00:58:21

yeah through this process this tribunal

00:58:24

yeah because I feel like

00:58:28

it wouldn't be in me to bring myself

00:58:30

forward to

00:58:31

speak to one of these people

00:58:34

to see if I did have one

00:58:38

so it's kind of like like I said my

00:58:40

stubbornness comes comes into play on

00:58:42

this one it's kind of like

00:58:43

no fine I can stop when I want to stop

00:58:47

did he expect someone explain to you a

00:58:50

gambling addiction is since then

00:58:53

a little bit yeah we did speak with us

00:58:57

how to play on on around around one

00:59:00

addiction is but

00:59:01

it's kind of like

00:59:03

you don't allow

00:59:05

yourself to believe it

00:59:07

like I feel like it's gonna stop doing

00:59:10

something I feel like people think in

00:59:12

the head I can stop with one but not not

00:59:15

knowing

00:59:16

deep down you probably can't could you

00:59:18

have stopped

00:59:21

probably

00:59:24

yeah it's it's I feel like it's

00:59:29

50 50. you could have stopped but I feel

00:59:32

like a thrill on it is kind of like

00:59:34

what keeps you going

00:59:36

because the fa though sort of

00:59:37

counterpointed that was that there was

00:59:39

periods where you you didn't you didn't

00:59:41

gamble so they would they were saying

00:59:43

that to the commission that you know

00:59:44

it's not gambling addiction because

00:59:45

there's parts of his journey where he's

00:59:47

not gambling or he's betting on other

00:59:48

things for example

00:59:50

um

00:59:51

do you still gamble now

00:59:53

no anything no any betting at all across

00:59:57

any not

00:59:58

has that required therapy or any sort of

01:00:01

professional support I think it's kind

01:00:03

of

01:00:05

being in the public eye if I was

01:00:09

to be like going into these places and

01:00:11

these kind of things

01:00:13

I think it's more the embarrassment

01:00:15

those eyes still continue

01:00:17

this kind of thing

01:00:20

so I I wouldn't allow myself and

01:00:24

like you look back you I feel like he's

01:00:27

sit take a back seat and look up

01:00:30

all the money you've lost and what you

01:00:32

could have went on and what and

01:00:34

especially now having people to provide

01:00:36

for it's kind of like

01:00:38

you can't be spending that money on this

01:00:40

it can go to to here or

01:00:43

like just manage your money bro our luck

01:00:45

of things and how I look at me off I see

01:00:48

that as

01:00:50

being naive

01:00:53

we don't really get much information do

01:00:55

we uh growing up about gambling

01:00:57

well really it had it like how to spend

01:01:00

our money or tax especially I think

01:01:02

about you guys as like young you know 20

01:01:03

year olds that I just you know playing

01:01:05

football and then you become

01:01:07

millionaires because you're good at it

01:01:08

it's kind of different for like my

01:01:10

Pursuit because like building a business

01:01:11

you have to see a focus your Finance

01:01:13

people around you you have controls

01:01:15

budgets forecasts P L's all this stuff

01:01:17

so you know you're surrounded by like

01:01:20

money minds and brains around you when

01:01:22

you're building a business but being a

01:01:23

young 20 year old millionaire who I'm

01:01:27

presuming nobody gave you Financial

01:01:28

education

01:01:31

no it's kind of like you said yeah being

01:01:33

having that much money at tender age

01:01:35

it's kind of like

01:01:37

what do I do with it

01:01:39

and

01:01:41

I'm not a family that comes from money

01:01:42

so it's not like my parents could

01:01:45

help me a lot with that but they they

01:01:48

would have their say on certain things

01:01:49

but it's like

01:01:51

you kind of have to

01:01:53

try and just manage it yourself

01:01:55

and just

01:01:57

assume doing this is the right thing

01:01:59

you don't know what you don't know

01:02:00

pretty much

01:02:03

the bit of this case that I that I was I

01:02:06

was I found difficult is that using

01:02:09

someone else to do the best because for

01:02:11

me that's that points to like in that he

01:02:13

did know I think that's what people

01:02:14

would think they'd look at that again of

01:02:15

course 100 conceal it because I'm

01:02:17

thinking your mom your mom and dad ain't

01:02:19

opened your post at 27 years old like my

01:02:21

mum ain't gonna open my post no this was

01:02:22

it was when I was away

01:02:24

yeah so I know my post did go to my

01:02:28

parents and I feel like of course your

01:02:30

parents want to be

01:02:32

knowing what's going on if you're

01:02:33

getting this letter through that's

01:02:34

you're not paying this or

01:02:37

like like I said seeing what you're

01:02:38

spending your money on and I feel like

01:02:40

because we're a tight family my mom

01:02:42

would worry about that

01:02:44

and there was actually times where she's

01:02:46

opened it and she's kind of said certain

01:02:48

things about it

01:02:51

and the fa had highlighted text message

01:02:53

you'd sent me you said to give me I

01:02:54

can't have that one in my name

01:02:57

what was the app I gambled on on your

01:02:58

phone this time from text messages that

01:02:59

they'd found that's the bit that I

01:03:01

struggled with was I was like I wasn't

01:03:03

sure that but this chapter of your life

01:03:06

has clearly been

01:03:07

a big learning moment 100 I feel like

01:03:12

looking back on

01:03:14

what I've done what I changed some bits

01:03:16

probably but

01:03:18

is what it is and the man I'm now

01:03:21

continuing forward is kind of but it's

01:03:23

different to what I was before do you

01:03:26

take like when we think about

01:03:27

responsibility for our actions what's

01:03:30

what what responsibility do you take for

01:03:32

all of this where you say listen

01:03:34

this is this is what I take

01:03:35

responsibility for here

01:03:37

um and this is also like

01:03:40

going back to a question I asked earlier

01:03:42

about like what do you wish someone had

01:03:44

had said you

01:03:46

when you first did that I don't know

01:03:47

those those bets five five six seven

01:03:49

years ago

01:03:50

um what's the responsibility you take

01:03:52

and what's the what's the lesson you've

01:03:54

taken from this process I think the

01:03:56

responsibility I'd take was yeah I was

01:03:58

betting on myself to the school first

01:04:00

which

01:04:01

now you I know you shouldn't be doing

01:04:03

which I take responsibility and I'll

01:04:04

take

01:04:05

full responsibility for the punishment

01:04:07

I'm getting now so uh it was it would be

01:04:10

kind of a lack

01:04:12

and why I tell my younger self around

01:04:15

them kind of times it's like

01:04:17

manage your money but don't get mixed in

01:04:19

there wrong crowd I say and just just

01:04:22

don't follow fashion

01:04:24

of your own of your own mindset uh mind

01:04:27

frame on

01:04:28

what you should and should be doing or

01:04:30

if you don't know look more into it and

01:04:33

if that's what you really want to do

01:04:34

look more into it and what you can and

01:04:36

can and can't do

01:04:38

it's interesting because when they were

01:04:39

deliberating your your punishment one of

01:04:42

the things that came to mind is

01:04:44

perception and what it would the

01:04:47

perception it would send to the rest of

01:04:48

the the game

01:04:51

um

01:04:52

do you think they they made an example

01:04:53

of you

01:04:55

I feel so yeah

01:04:57

do you think that's right

01:05:00

I can't I don't think it's right now but

01:05:02

because you're a high profile Premier

01:05:03

League player obviously if if you get

01:05:05

away with doing something like this this

01:05:07

could other players lower levels could

01:05:09

also emulate it so they've got an

01:05:11

opportunity here to send a message 100

01:05:12

100 and I feel like a lot of people

01:05:16

think that in terms of

01:05:19

if no disrespects are lower leagues but

01:05:21

if I was well actually we actually did

01:05:23

look at some cases that was somewhat

01:05:25

similar someone worse

01:05:27

and their punishment wasn't

01:05:29

like how mine is

01:05:31

I think the fact that's the opportunity

01:05:33

the fact that I'm playing in the Premier

01:05:35

League doing well

01:05:37

snifferon England

01:05:39

kind of like right it's our chance to

01:05:41

punish him then people know this is kind

01:05:44

of

01:05:45

the punishment you're looking at if you

01:05:46

want to do

01:05:48

why don't it's funny because I was

01:05:50

actually surprised to read that in the

01:05:51

the

01:05:52

um the analysis section of this document

01:05:54

where it says the perception of the

01:05:56

impact of football betting on the

01:05:57

Integrity of the game is key a key

01:05:58

consideration when deciding on your

01:06:01

sanction

01:06:03

which does kind of suggest that they're

01:06:06

quite intentional in making sure that

01:06:07

they make an example of you

01:06:09

um thereabouts in their words

01:06:12

um and obviously you have a huge

01:06:13

position of influence so that's that's

01:06:15

key

01:06:16

um

01:06:17

and then they submit that the FAS

01:06:19

suggested that you get 12 months ban as

01:06:21

a suspension I believe and that was

01:06:24

their final sanction the commission

01:06:26

didn't accept that

01:06:28

um ordinarily the commission would have

01:06:31

imposed 50 15 months suspension had you

01:06:35

not pled guilty to the charges which

01:06:38

lowered your sanction and then also

01:06:39

you've got another

01:06:40

um reduction in the sanction because of

01:06:42

the findings from the Doctor Who found

01:06:44

that you had a gambling addiction which

01:06:46

brought your sentence down to eight

01:06:47

months

01:06:48

um and you'll find fifty thousand pounds

01:06:51

it's interesting because you know I'm a

01:06:53

huge football fan so I want to see you

01:06:54

play and I you're on such a role

01:06:57

Brentford are on such a role so like as

01:07:00

a football fan although you smashed

01:07:01

United last year like it was so it's so

01:07:04

good to see like a young black English

01:07:07

striker tearing up the game at his Peak

01:07:09

it's getting to see you out of the game

01:07:11

it is

01:07:13

and I feel like like how I am a lot of

01:07:15

people know how I stay this is this is

01:07:18

nothing I I know for a fact I'll come

01:07:20

back stronger than this I'm better than

01:07:22

I was before like this is gives me the

01:07:24

hunger against uh recharge and come back

01:07:28

on on another another level like like I

01:07:31

said before earlier

01:07:33

no time to dwell on things no time to

01:07:36

dwell on things and it's like

01:07:38

just when that first game comes and I

01:07:41

can play then

01:07:43

it's not a ball game

01:07:45

it's on

01:07:46

when you found out you you suspended for

01:07:49

eight months

01:07:53

how did that feel what's that like

01:07:55

um because you know you're in the peak

01:07:57

of your powers right now right yeah I

01:07:59

know it's it's painful but

01:08:02

I feel like the hard part isn't kind of

01:08:04

not

01:08:05

because right now I'll be playing

01:08:08

football matches and I kind of be around

01:08:12

the players and not the football ground

01:08:13

and things like this and it's kind of

01:08:14

like

01:08:15

okay that's what you want to do punish

01:08:17

me from there but

01:08:19

I thought I'd keep me away from the

01:08:20

ground if I wasn't as strong as I was

01:08:23

in my head that would break some people

01:08:25

and then we talk about mental health and

01:08:27

all these kind of things and what's that

01:08:30

kind of doing to

01:08:31

a player that's not allowed in the

01:08:33

environment even though you can't play

01:08:35

games but keeping away from the training

01:08:37

ground

01:08:38

knowing football's their life and that's

01:08:40

all they've done from such a young age

01:08:42

how is that going to help them

01:08:45

at all

01:08:48

yeah this is I completely agree with you

01:08:50

I think I think the sanction itself is

01:08:54

important because it does send a message

01:08:55

and I agree with that but the bit that I

01:08:57

just struggle with is the can't train at

01:09:00

the club and we know as you you point

01:09:03

out there like

01:09:04

mental health keeping active is such an

01:09:06

important thing especially if you've

01:09:07

been playing football since you're a kid

01:09:08

and it's your purpose it's what you know

01:09:12

um so psychologically and physically

01:09:13

there's a a real strong case to keep

01:09:16

your keep you active and I've seen a lot

01:09:18

of people have their say on this a lot

01:09:19

of people think you know you could have

01:09:21

trained at the ground and then use that

01:09:22

time to educate young players on on

01:09:24

gambling that would have been useful but

01:09:26

to keep you out of the club not allow

01:09:28

you to train and to kind of push you out

01:09:30

on your own it seems doesn't feel like

01:09:33

it's smart it doesn't it doesn't add up

01:09:36

with what

01:09:37

the things they push forward like

01:09:41

like we say the old football Community

01:09:43

is on big on Mental Health then the fa

01:09:46

go and do this and like

01:09:48

push me away from like my the whole

01:09:51

football environment like by all means

01:09:53

it's not

01:09:54

a place where I want people to feel

01:09:56

sorry for me like that's the last thing

01:09:58

that's the last thing I want and me as a

01:10:00

person people that know me with no

01:10:02

that's not what one thing I'm trying to

01:10:04

achieve but so that says what if

01:10:06

somebody that's not as strong as me in

01:10:08

their head

01:10:10

happens to be going through this kind of

01:10:12

situation and that punishment is not

01:10:13

allowed at the training ground

01:10:15

like that would break them like right

01:10:18

now I've been not been around a training

01:10:20

ground it does hurt me but I just know

01:10:22

when I'm at the training ground train

01:10:24

harder be ready for the the game when I

01:10:27

can play

01:10:28

but it's

01:10:30

yeah it's like I said it's not a nice

01:10:33

feeling and the whole purpose of

01:10:35

not being allowed at the training ground

01:10:37

is

01:10:38

it's baffling to me but you have hard

01:10:40

days

01:10:41

still

01:10:42

yeah yeah yeah I feel like everybody has

01:10:45

others I mean like with through this

01:10:47

process has there been days where like

01:10:49

you're ups and your downs and difficult

01:10:50

days where you start you have low

01:10:52

moments because you are away from

01:10:53

football the Press is on top of you

01:10:56

yeah I feel like I've a hard Hours hard

01:11:01

two hours kind of things like in the

01:11:02

mornings

01:11:04

I'd wake up like ah come yesterday

01:11:06

but

01:11:08

getting a song active when you're there

01:11:10

working

01:11:11

it's kind of like oh yeah as much as you

01:11:14

don't want to do it

01:11:15

you've seen the long run that that time

01:11:17

I didn't want to get up I didn't want to

01:11:19

do on uh

01:11:21

put the work in it's paying off now

01:11:24

whereas if I'm

01:11:26

saying all tomorrow

01:11:27

and then tomorrow comes I'll do it next

01:11:29

day

01:11:30

so you're still training yeah yeah still

01:11:32

keeping fit still doing my own thing

01:11:34

welcome to personal trainer yeah

01:11:36

personal trainer which is which is good

01:11:38

and it's not like a lenient one this one

01:11:40

one that pushes me so

01:11:43

I feel like I'm not got it good but I've

01:11:45

got the best people around me to

01:11:48

keep me fit and keep me going and like I

01:11:51

said my family is key

01:11:53

my family is the one that's what the

01:11:55

other people that's helping me going as

01:11:58

well and especially my children

01:12:01

you're you're a mummy's boy yeah

01:12:03

sometimes in these moments it's it's

01:12:06

difficult for us but it's harder to

01:12:07

watch the impact has on our family right

01:12:10

yeah 100 I feel like

01:12:13

like even when the whole thing was it

01:12:16

was like

01:12:17

those allegations and the people like

01:12:19

going into my mum's work and just saying

01:12:22

certain things and

01:12:23

I'd be at a petrol station they scream

01:12:27

certain things and I'll be with my

01:12:29

family and my children

01:12:30

and people just be like shouting dumb

01:12:33

things out

01:12:35

just like oh you pointed like certain

01:12:39

things that are you put the tenor on

01:12:40

today's game or these kind of things or

01:12:42

just silly image all things and how I am

01:12:46

I'm kind of hot-headed

01:12:48

but especially when families are

01:12:50

involved and my children are around it's

01:12:51

kind of like

01:12:56

it's hard for me not to want to say

01:12:58

something called do something cool these

01:13:00

kind of things

01:13:02

it's like going through that period

01:13:06

right it's hard and people that you

01:13:08

wouldn't normally speak to or my parents

01:13:10

or

01:13:11

family wouldn't normally speak to that'd

01:13:14

pop up and just be like oh something

01:13:16

Reviving

01:13:17

so it's when the bad things come along

01:13:18

how you want to talk and find out what's

01:13:21

going on

01:13:22

whereas when I'm screwing goals or

01:13:24

getting big for England you don't really

01:13:26

want to say too much

01:13:28

but

01:13:29

that's life and that's how people are

01:13:31

and we don't miss them

01:13:33

we see them we see the evil eyes so it's

01:13:38

has this process been um has it

01:13:40

illuminated

01:13:42

um things for you in certain areas of

01:13:43

your life certain people and some people

01:13:45

that their View and stuff you know

01:13:47

because I haven't even thinking about

01:13:48

the gaffer Thomas Frank he's come to

01:13:50

your defense multiple times

01:13:52

talking about how he disagrees with the

01:13:54

way that it's been handled the sanctions

01:13:57

and he thinks that you should be able to

01:13:59

train with the team and

01:14:01

um be out there educating young kids etc

01:14:03

etc he disagrees with the the decision

01:14:05

that the commission made not just soon

01:14:06

so uh get out of Southgate as well he

01:14:09

did talk support yeah yeah I know I

01:14:11

spoke to him as well

01:14:13

but how does that feel then what does

01:14:15

that mean to you it feels good knowing

01:14:16

I've got

01:14:18

um then behind me obviously the England

01:14:20

manager and my club manager backing me

01:14:22

100

01:14:24

it feels good and it gives me a bit of

01:14:26

extra strength

01:14:27

to

01:14:28

make sure when I'm back

01:14:30

I'm firing

01:14:32

and

01:14:34

it gives me that bit of

01:14:36

hunger

01:14:38

not that I'm lacking it but I feel like

01:14:40

the extra boost I feel like okay it's on

01:14:43

one on back kind of thing

01:14:45

and the club standing by you in such a

01:14:47

way

01:14:48

has that kind of cemented your loyalty a

01:14:50

little bit to Brentford

01:14:52

yeah I feel like like I said earlier I

01:14:54

want a manager in a club to like really

01:14:56

want me and put their arm around me and

01:14:57

I feel like throughout the whole

01:14:58

situation

01:14:59

have done that

01:15:01

you know even even the players as well

01:15:03

you know I spoke to loads of them

01:15:06

they don't agree with it but it is what

01:15:09

it is

01:15:10

and and your mum yeah she's that one is

01:15:15

like going back to the Tweet when I said

01:15:16

when I put that tweet up

01:15:18

she's the first person to write me a

01:15:20

message me and said listen

01:15:21

he doesn't need to do nothing

01:15:23

just don't do no more please I've been

01:15:26

saying how she's been sick for she feels

01:15:28

sick in her stomach for an hour long

01:15:30

throughout the whole situation

01:15:33

and putting out there she's just

01:15:35

thinking it's gonna

01:15:37

damage me

01:15:39

damage her and damage the family and

01:15:41

things like this so I just thought okay

01:15:43

let me just do the talk of my feet and

01:15:46

when I'm back

01:15:47

get get the family

01:15:50

well they're not smiling but happy happy

01:15:52

again and

01:15:54

I'm sure they can't well they can't wait

01:15:55

to see the

01:15:57

there's some back on the pitch screen

01:15:58

goes

01:16:00

does she does it mean the most to you to

01:16:01

make her happy and to make her feel good

01:16:04

all my family yeah

01:16:06

I feel like

01:16:08

she always just texts me randomly and

01:16:10

she's like she was I don't want to

01:16:12

bother you sometimes I just check on

01:16:14

what I've seen on WhatsApp to wait for

01:16:16

you to come online to know your okay and

01:16:18

alive and well and

01:16:20

that's just that's how my mom is like

01:16:23

maybe sometimes like my mum she knows

01:16:25

and she does she calls me random times

01:16:28

it'd be 12 at night it would be early

01:16:31

doors just checking in I was fine I love

01:16:34

you so much this and that

01:16:36

that's our favorite one checking to see

01:16:39

if I'm online on WhatsApp bro with him

01:16:41

pestering me in our eyes but

01:16:43

so

01:16:44

I think

01:16:46

making them happy and making them smile

01:16:49

as well

01:16:50

is what gives me the filter do well

01:16:53

the Brentford fanbase

01:16:55

yeah strong massive as well yeah

01:17:00

where I go I'll get I get love from The

01:17:02

Breakfast fun so

01:17:04

[Music]

01:17:06

what's your uh you're gonna get back to

01:17:08

football and uh you've you I can feel

01:17:10

you've got a certain fire inside you

01:17:13

yep

01:17:15

I think

01:17:18

I just not that I need to prove anybody

01:17:21

wrong but there's a lot of haters and

01:17:24

doubles out there thinking

01:17:26

you're gonna be saying that when he

01:17:27

comes back

01:17:29

actually they're right I'm gonna be a

01:17:31

different man and even better than that

01:17:32

that guy that scored Them Girls before

01:17:34

so how'd you know

01:17:36

because Mom I'm built different

01:17:39

my mentality is different

01:17:41

I'm not one of these I could have been a

01:17:43

great player

01:17:44

hadn't he done this

01:17:46

I'm I'm gonna go beyond that

01:17:50

honest

01:17:52

like I said not a point to prove but

01:17:54

point to proves to myself

01:17:57

how would you ensure that happens like

01:17:58

what is it that because I think about

01:17:59

controllables what is it that you can

01:18:01

control to make sure that you come back

01:18:03

even an even better player is it just

01:18:04

training harder is it what is it that

01:18:06

you're it's training harder but in my

01:18:08

head every time I step on a pitch I'm

01:18:10

thinking in my head I'm gonna score

01:18:12

today

01:18:12

I'm going to school when a chance comes

01:18:15

I'm gonna score

01:18:16

because in the game you your bands get a

01:18:19

chance that you should be scoring

01:18:21

so in my head now thinking right when I

01:18:24

do play and I do get that chance that I

01:18:26

should be scoring it has to be a goal so

01:18:28

it's going to be a goal well if it's not

01:18:30

next won't be a goal

01:18:32

or if it's not it will be

01:18:35

I'll be two goals

01:18:38

you know Brentford is a fantastic team I

01:18:41

think of all the teams in the Premier

01:18:42

League if we talk about admiration I

01:18:44

really admire Brighton at the moment but

01:18:46

Brentford I absolutely think our

01:18:48

brilliant brilliant team really ton of

01:18:50

admiration for them

01:18:51

um there's a lot of people that are

01:18:52

obviously linking you to other clubs and

01:18:55

saying oh is he gonna join this

01:18:56

Manchester United all of that

01:18:59

how do you receive all of that you know

01:19:01

all these links to because everyone's

01:19:02

looking for a striker Strikers are like

01:19:03

the hardest to find goal scorers in the

01:19:05

Premier League you've got Harlan you've

01:19:07

got Kane he's gone now now you're

01:19:09

technically the second best Striker

01:19:11

that's currently in the league on paper

01:19:13

so you know these big clubs are going to

01:19:14

come knocking they're going to say you

01:19:16

know Chelsea's got [ __ ] unlimited

01:19:17

money over here

01:19:18

united we need a striker how do you

01:19:21

receive all of that

01:19:22

I mean like from Young and like I said I

01:19:25

don't let this

01:19:26

all affect me obviously Ariel going on

01:19:29

in the background but my job is to keep

01:19:31

training well when I get the chance in

01:19:34

the games to keep scoring and doing well

01:19:36

but I think everybody wants to play at

01:19:39

the top of the tree and not that

01:19:40

Bradford aren't there

01:19:42

but

01:19:43

I feel like playing for a big Club

01:19:45

fighting for trophies and these kind of

01:19:47

things everybody wants to do and if

01:19:49

the chance was to come along

01:19:51

I think I'd be silly not uh not to look

01:19:54

more into it but

01:19:57

I feel like yeah and the manager knows

01:19:59

that

01:20:01

I want to be playing at the highest

01:20:03

possible level level possible

01:20:05

and whenever that time comes then

01:20:09

this would be it but I can't think of my

01:20:12

time at brentford's been

01:20:15

been good be probably one of the best

01:20:17

times in my career and that's a special

01:20:19

club like they just got something they

01:20:21

got a culture there which is super

01:20:22

special so you know that culture you

01:20:25

describe will get the best out of you as

01:20:26

a player for sure so it's like great

01:20:29

talent great culture equals great

01:20:31

results it's like one plus one equals

01:20:32

three

01:20:34

yeah now yeah I like the next Club I go

01:20:37

to if I was to move it would be like

01:20:40

the rat club

01:20:42

when you say the right Club you're not

01:20:43

talking about Liverpool are you I heard

01:20:45

you're a Liverpool fan yeah a Liverpool

01:20:47

fan a Liverpool fan I feel you've been a

01:20:49

Liverpool fan your whole life

01:20:50

yeah I've been living for my whole life

01:20:52

but from Young

01:20:54

I liked I've liked Arsenal I like

01:20:57

watching Arsenal from how they play and

01:20:59

the kind of how passionate fans are

01:21:04

but yeah level fan level boy at heart

01:21:06

and so Liverpool at heart love how

01:21:09

Arsenal play love their style their

01:21:12

anything about Manchester United I like

01:21:14

I like Barbershop when he was there okay

01:21:16

I liked watching United a lot when both

01:21:19

offers it so thank you but we do

01:21:21

actually need a striker so I've actually

01:21:23

got a contract here that Eric and

01:21:25

Richard Arnold would have given me soon

01:21:27

imagine

01:21:29

now listen I hope you um I I just want

01:21:33

to see you back playing again because I

01:21:34

think I think it's a it's a gift to the

01:21:36

Premier League your talent and also when

01:21:37

I look at your story

01:21:39

you didn't have a straight line that a

01:21:40

lot of people have in football you went

01:21:42

up down up down up down up down and you

01:21:44

persevered because the talent is

01:21:46

you can't argue with it you can't argue

01:21:49

with the talent and so this whole

01:21:51

gambling section of your life

01:21:54

um it's a bit of a blip in there so I

01:21:56

heard all you've overcome and you've

01:21:58

taken taken your your punishment

01:22:00

um you move on from that you admit

01:22:02

responsibility

01:22:04

yeah yeah

01:22:06

um

01:22:07

and so now it becomes the backup again

01:22:09

about the football

01:22:10

yeah like you said the Journey's been

01:22:12

it's been wild it's been crazy and if if

01:22:15

I was to read a book on

01:22:17

myself

01:22:19

I'd say this guy's done a lot I've been

01:22:21

through a lot and

01:22:23

he's still fighting and it's still

01:22:25

climbing to the top of the tree like

01:22:27

how's he managing with that with

01:22:28

everything that's going on what's the

01:22:30

goal

01:22:31

you know if I if we if we have this

01:22:34

conversation again at the end of your

01:22:35

career and we sit down here and we go

01:22:37

man and you go damn that was a

01:22:39

successful career Steve what happened

01:22:42

I want to be playing for England and

01:22:44

scoring goals

01:22:45

I don't want to be

01:22:47

I played England a couple times

01:22:50

I want to be

01:22:52

the main man

01:22:54

Wherever I Go

01:22:55

and and Finland oh no we got Harry Kane

01:22:59

days

01:23:00

probably one of the best strikers in the

01:23:01

world if not the best

01:23:03

so and that's what I'm up against

01:23:06

so I need to get to that level

01:23:10

so it's just six

01:23:12

working hard and keep fighting a little

01:23:16

Euros around the corner as well yeah and

01:23:18

that's another

01:23:19

it's another place I want to get to

01:23:21

which I do believe that

01:23:23

in my head I'm right I'm ready to get to

01:23:25

you so

01:23:26

and at Club level what are your

01:23:28

Ambitions there in football

01:23:30

um win the win win trophies win some

01:23:33

silverware

01:23:34

I feel like

01:23:37

I feel like I want to play for

01:23:41

the highest highest level possible

01:23:43

playful with

01:23:46

playful Club that's I'm loved that not

01:23:49

just one of

01:23:53

but I feel like

01:23:55

like with all my moves I've not just

01:23:57

gone to a club before whatever or money

01:23:59

or whatever I've gone it's been the

01:24:01

right step for me

01:24:03

and I've achieved something every year

01:24:06

every year I've just got better and

01:24:07

better

01:24:09

you wanna win the Premier League one day

01:24:11

that's that's the aim that's the M I

01:24:13

wanna win the World Cup also

01:24:16

on a win trophies that's like

01:24:18

wow

01:24:20

I'm being from where

01:24:22

I'm from

01:24:23

Northampton not many

01:24:26

people can achieve them things or be

01:24:28

like yeah

01:24:30

he's been at the World Cup he's won the

01:24:31

World Cup yeah I know even then that

01:24:34

my mom still lives in the same house

01:24:36

really yeah she doesn't want to move she

01:24:39

likes being down

01:24:41

people will run there be like yeah I

01:24:43

have his mom lives there I do that now

01:24:45

but it'd be more of achievement

01:24:48

and I've won something like that and

01:24:50

like yeah I'm his mum's there Ivan comes

01:24:52

there all the time

01:24:54

I think that's kind of

01:24:56

kind of how we are oh I am and you can

01:25:00

see like my mom's she doesn't want to

01:25:01

move into some big house she feels safe

01:25:04

and comfy

01:25:05

at the house where she's at and that

01:25:07

shows that I have another no choice put

01:25:10

to be grounded and you have three kids

01:25:12

as well yeah three little boys do you

01:25:14

think about them do you think about what

01:25:16

the Legacy you want to leave that

01:25:17

they're going to grow up and learn about

01:25:19

does that cross your mind a lot yeah

01:25:21

yeah it does

01:25:23

I want to leave Alexi that they don't

01:25:25

have no pressure on their shoulders to

01:25:28

walk into

01:25:30

I just wanted to whether there is a

01:25:32

football or whatever industry they look

01:25:33

to go into which obviously I would want

01:25:35

to say is football

01:25:38

but whatever whatever they do want them

01:25:40

to be successful and be like

01:25:42

be strong like my chosen

01:25:45

I feel like that I'd want them I do want

01:25:48

them to have the same upbringing I had

01:25:49

like I wouldn't put into that private

01:25:52

school under these things because I

01:25:53

don't want to just give them everything

01:25:55

I wanted to

01:25:56

have to work for certain things

01:25:59

what advice would you give them about

01:26:00

how to how to navigate say they uh they

01:26:03

do go into football all three of them

01:26:05

and they say they come to you one day

01:26:06

they say Dad listen I've just got a call

01:26:08

from the biggest club in the world

01:26:09

Manchester United and

01:26:12

I'm gonna I'm gonna accept it go go to

01:26:14

Manchester playing to Eric

01:26:16

um I need some advice dad

01:26:18

I'm you know I'm on my way tomorrow what

01:26:21

advice can you give me Dad how the

01:26:23

mentality as you're the best player on

01:26:24

the pitch

01:26:25

you might not be

01:26:27

but having that mentality will help you

01:26:29

play Bell

01:26:32

and just have the hunger

01:26:35

you haven't got the hunger or the drive

01:26:37

you'll step behind already

01:26:40

I'd say like also

01:26:43

attitude is key

01:26:46

good I'll get you a long way

01:26:48

not just in football or work in life

01:26:52

quick one I discovered a product which

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has changed my life called Eight sleep

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and I'm so proud to say today that I had

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a chat with the founder of the brand and

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they are now a podcast sponsor and one

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of the things I've come to learn on this

01:27:03

podcast from speaking with Sleep Experts

01:27:04

like Matthew Walker is how important

01:27:06

temperature is when it comes to sleep

01:27:09

the temperature of your room the

01:27:11

temperature of your bed and also one of

01:27:13

the big insights I had from speaking to

01:27:15

some experts was that the temperature of

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the room should fluctuate throughout the

01:27:20

night as you move through different

01:27:22

stages of sleep so when you first get

01:27:24

into bed it should be quite cool in bed

01:27:26

it should then get a little bit cooler

01:27:28

and then the temperature should increase

01:27:30

near the end and that is a reflection of

01:27:32

what would have happened in nature once

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upon a time you've probably come to

01:27:36

learn that I have sponsors on this

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podcast that I use and products that I

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love my sponsors should be a reflection

01:27:42

of the conversations I'm having but also

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a reflection of what I'm using in my

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01:28:10

as you know they're a sponsor of this

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podcast and I'm an investor in the

01:28:13

company one of the things I've never

01:28:15

really explained is how I came to have a

01:28:16

relationship with huel one day in the

01:28:18

office many years ago a guy walked past

01:28:20

called Michael and he was wearing a

01:28:22

heeled t-shirt and I was really

01:28:24

compelled by the logo I just thought

01:28:25

from a design aesthetic point of view it

01:28:27

was really interesting and I asked him

01:28:29

what that word meant and why he was

01:28:30

wearing that T-shirt and he said it's

01:28:32

this brand called heal and they make

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food that is nutritionally complete and

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very very convenient and has the planet

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in mind and he the next day dropped off

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a little bottle of fuel on my desk and

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from that day onwards I completely got

01:28:45

it because I'm someone that cares

01:28:47

tremendously about having a

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nutritionally complete diet but

01:28:50

sometimes because of the way my life is

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that falls by the wayside so if there

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was a really convenient reliable

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trustworthy way for me to be

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nutritionally complete in an affordable

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way I was all ears especially if it's a

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way that is conscious of the planet give

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it a chance give it a shot let me know

01:29:06

what you think

01:29:07

you know we needed this this tweet the

01:29:09

famous tweet I'll speak soon with no

01:29:11

filter I understand that I came from a

01:29:12

place of anger like a bit defensive

01:29:14

whatever mood settles your mom text you

01:29:16

you're like okay maybe this is not gonna

01:29:18

help the situation there was a lot you

01:29:21

wanted to say right you wanted to talk

01:29:22

specifically about the allegations

01:29:23

you've decided now from what you're

01:29:25

saying that it's not worth it for you to

01:29:26

like go in and dispute things and say

01:29:28

this that the other's not true but was

01:29:30

there anything that you do want to say

01:29:31

to like the football Community or just

01:29:33

to the world generally as a message when

01:29:35

you tweet that like outside of like the

01:29:37

stuff where we're like a bit bitter and

01:29:39

hurt because everything that's going on

01:29:40

and people are attacking you whatever is

01:29:42

there anything else you wanted to say

01:29:43

because I just want to give you a chance

01:29:44

just uh

01:29:47

um

01:29:49

not really like you said that most of it

01:29:51

come from anger and it's kind of like

01:29:52

everybody's against me kind of thing

01:29:54

but with that it's kind of like I was

01:29:57

more worried on people like

01:30:00

thinking how I am

01:30:02

how I am as a person

01:30:05

like what they read and what they hear

01:30:07

rather than how I actually am but the

01:30:11

the people around me friends family the

01:30:15

only people I should be worried about

01:30:15

they know how I am

01:30:17

why don't it's expensive Bob down the

01:30:20

road how I actually am I probably never

01:30:22

gonna see him again so it doesn't matter

01:30:24

that why am I explaining that why am I

01:30:26

going out

01:30:27

there to give it like a back and forth

01:30:30

like

01:30:32

I don't need to do that and it doesn't

01:30:33

benefit me it just benefits him and

01:30:36

trying to get more reaction from me

01:30:40

so

01:30:42

like you said it definitely was out of

01:30:44

our anger anger kind of moment it's kind

01:30:47

of like all right let me say distant let

01:30:49

me say that not knowing

01:30:51

it's not gonna affect it could it could

01:30:53

have

01:30:55

so it's not

01:30:56

I don't need to try and prove nobody

01:30:58

wrong or prove nobody right it's just

01:31:03

focus on myself

01:31:04

family and

01:31:07

do I do best which is playing well and

01:31:10

scoring goals speaking with your feet

01:31:12

correct

01:31:14

I did want to talk to you about one last

01:31:15

thing you did a tweet as well about a DM

01:31:17

someone sent you yeah

01:31:20

um someone had dm'd you calling you a

01:31:22

black c word

01:31:25

um and you posted the Tweet

01:31:27

um subsequently you stopped taking the

01:31:29

knee during at the start of Premier

01:31:31

League games and such

01:31:32

racism and football

01:31:35

do you do you still receive racial abuse

01:31:37

um still today yeah you do if I was to

01:31:40

post everything I've received that's

01:31:43

been racist

01:31:45

I'd have easily

01:31:48

around 100 messages

01:31:51

easy just real off there there there has

01:31:54

that increased since the sanctions were

01:31:57

made against you from the commission

01:32:00

no because I feel like

01:32:03

most of it's just been rubbish that I

01:32:05

get a lot of people are saying but I

01:32:07

feel like most of it's from playing a

01:32:09

game and

01:32:10

someone's bet on you or you haven't

01:32:13

scored and then they come on come for

01:32:15

you for like these kind of things or

01:32:17

the fantasy league yeah football league

01:32:20

that you don't get enough points and

01:32:21

they'll come at you like this or

01:32:23

your score to lose that but also just

01:32:26

things like this why don't you stop

01:32:28

taking the knee

01:32:29

because I feel like it's it's a certain

01:32:31

gesture it's not really it's lost its

01:32:33

purpose

01:32:35

and like you can see like before games

01:32:37

like people like run off without half of

01:32:40

the knee forgot about it like the

01:32:42

purpose isn't there no more I don't

01:32:44

think that's doing nothing in the game

01:32:45

to help stop

01:32:47

these kind of things from happening

01:32:51

more needs to be done for sure for sure

01:32:53

100 all over the world not just in the

01:32:55

UK but we obviously saw what happened to

01:32:57

veniscus Jr as well in the in the La

01:32:59

Liga

01:33:00

um and it does does feel like

01:33:03

if there was harsher action taken then a

01:33:05

lot of this stuff wouldn't be happening

01:33:07

even from the platforms and also from

01:33:09

the police

01:33:10

um

01:33:12

you know yeah the most most well some of

01:33:14

them

01:33:15

are from abroad and it's kind of like

01:33:17

it's not in the UK they can't do nothing

01:33:19

about it

01:33:21

and I'm like okay so what you just keep

01:33:24

sending from

01:33:25

wherever

01:33:27

but yes we can't do nothing it's not

01:33:30

it's not us

01:33:31

okay so it's fine then basically you're

01:33:33

saying it's fine yeah it's like what'd

01:33:36

you do

01:33:38

yeah I feel like

01:33:41

it's lost his purpose personally anyway

01:33:43

and I feel like it's kind of like

01:33:44

puppets that people at the top were kind

01:33:46

of like

01:33:48

let's try this well let's do this keep

01:33:50

people quiet for a bit

01:33:52

just do that and

01:33:54

be trying

01:33:57

it's not trying

01:33:58

you're counting down the days now yeah

01:34:01

that is the um it's like really good at

01:34:03

Christmas yeah

01:34:04

what kind of day counting down the days

01:34:06

or too often trying to be around the

01:34:08

boys because like

01:34:09

being in football prison at the moment

01:34:13

when I rounded boys I think it won't get

01:34:16

easier but it'll get a little bit easier

01:34:18

but not

01:34:20

the same was like you train a whole week

01:34:22

hard at the end of the week it's not

01:34:24

like

01:34:25

and go on a reward you're not playing a

01:34:28

match

01:34:29

and then is it January you can play yeah

01:34:31

January the 17th you can train again I

01:34:33

can't play with matches oh you can play

01:34:34

matches yes 17 for September

01:34:37

I can train so

01:34:39

oh September you can train in September

01:34:41

I can train yeah okay being a club

01:34:43

around the boys okay I say not long yeah

01:34:45

not long not long less than a month yeah

01:34:47

it feels like ages or and then you can

01:34:49

play in January that's going to be a

01:34:51

very big game a lot of people are going

01:34:52

to be watching that yeah do you feel

01:34:54

pressure no I know I I I thrive off

01:34:58

pressure when it's like he surely he

01:35:01

can't do that he's not gonna be able to

01:35:02

do it

01:35:04

and that's what the the pressure was

01:35:07

I was spoken about after the playoff

01:35:09

final

01:35:10

I'm gonna go the penalty

01:35:12

after the game it was like you must have

01:35:15

been scared like if you missed you

01:35:16

probably could have like

01:35:18

you could probably could have lost it

01:35:19

massive I was thinking no I can't wait

01:35:23

like I knew four facts I was going up

01:35:25

anyway 100

01:35:28

because it was the pressure

01:35:30

and like the reward after it gives you a

01:35:33

bigger chance to jump into Premier

01:35:34

League

01:35:36

and more money for family so

01:35:40

are you trying to prove people right or

01:35:42

trying to prove people wrong what

01:35:44

matters more to you uh

01:35:47

proving people wrong so I can have a

01:35:49

little bigger yeah I like that I like

01:35:52

when I see certain certain tweets and

01:35:55

then when I do something I come back to

01:35:56

it and just like

01:35:58

a little comment and dig at the person

01:35:59

and there's just lots of words

01:36:02

you're right you win you've been taking

01:36:05

names throughout this process just like

01:36:06

this pundit said this this person I mean

01:36:09

there's loads of pundits I say loads of

01:36:11

things it's all opinions but

01:36:13

when I come back school enough I'm sure

01:36:15

they'll

01:36:16

go back into the bush and back pedal on

01:36:18

what they say

01:36:21

ladies and gentlemen I'm interrupting

01:36:23

this broadcast with a very special

01:36:24

announcement two years ago I started

01:36:26

writing a book based on everything I've

01:36:27

learned from doing this podcast and

01:36:29

meeting all of the incredible people

01:36:30

that have had the privilege of meeting

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but also from my career in business from

01:36:33

running my marketing businesses my

01:36:35

software business my investment fund and

01:36:37

everything else that I've been doing in

01:36:38

business and life and from this I've

01:36:40

created a brand new book called The

01:36:42

Diary of a CEO the 33 laws for business

01:36:45

and life if you want to build something

01:36:47

great all become great yourself like the

01:36:50

guests that I've sat here and

01:36:51

interviewed I ask you please please

01:36:54

please read these 33 laws the book I

01:36:58

always should have written if you like

01:37:00

this podcast this book is for you and it

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this podcast below and every single day

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until it's out later this month one

01:37:10

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and tags me will win a Gold version of

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and 33 if you're going to win a very

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we have a closing tradition on this

01:37:35

podcast where the last guest leaves a

01:37:36

question for the next guest not knowing

01:37:37

who they're going to leave it for sure

01:37:39

so they wrote a question for you here in

01:37:41

this diary

01:37:42

the question been left for you is

01:37:45

when have you most

01:37:48

had to face your fears

01:37:53

Poppy the bun

01:37:57

because

01:37:59

I think loads of things going through

01:38:00

your head it's like

01:38:02

like I said if I'm having football at

01:38:04

such a young age

01:38:06

not knowing if there's loads of things

01:38:08

that God for your head like what

01:38:11

how are you going to cope with things

01:38:13

like at the time I was kind of like

01:38:15

not wary I feel like I'm a confident

01:38:18

person but going out in certain places

01:38:20

the topic is gonna be about the whole

01:38:23

Scandal that's going on

01:38:24

people gonna talk about it but I'm with

01:38:26

me it's like do they want to talk about

01:38:28

it they're thinking do I want to talk

01:38:30

about it

01:38:31

um not scared in a way but it's kind of

01:38:33

like it's an awkward kind of meeting

01:38:37

kind of thing but yeah it's an elephant

01:38:40

in the room yeah yeah yeah and then it

01:38:41

comes to the point where it's like well

01:38:43

they'll say something like oh I bet you

01:38:45

can't do that and it's kind of like oh

01:38:46

that kind of thing but I'm like yeah

01:38:49

what's done it's done like you could

01:38:51

talk about it

01:38:51

then I talk about it then I mean it's

01:38:54

cleared so I feel like

01:38:56

not knowing what people thinking about

01:38:58

you not people not knowing what people

01:39:00

want to kind of talk to you

01:39:03

not knowing if you're going to be fit

01:39:05

when you come back or

01:39:06

not knowing what you're going to do you

01:39:09

whilst you're off at loads of things

01:39:11

going to your head and it's like it

01:39:13

hasn't crossed your mind you might like

01:39:14

lose your form or something

01:39:16

that that actually did yeah it did at

01:39:18

the time but like I know I can get

01:39:22

myself and go swimming uh positions so I

01:39:24

don't feel like

01:39:26

that that would be such a big issue but

01:39:28

it does cross your mind like whatever

01:39:32

the school within the first five games

01:39:34

six games

01:39:35

you're gonna think that the world's

01:39:37

ending kind of thing but yeah I think

01:39:39

that was the fear of these kind of

01:39:41

things not knowing what's next kind of

01:39:43

thing and as the days have passed it's

01:39:45

got easier right

01:39:46

it's got easy in ways but it's got

01:39:47

harder and like oh okay

01:39:50

easier than like too long around the

01:39:53

boys and that's kind of like my head's

01:39:56

fine now I'm at the club

01:39:58

doing what I do best and enjoy but then

01:40:01

it's kind of like

01:40:02

at the end of the week I can't play

01:40:03

games whilst uh the game was kind of

01:40:06

like

01:40:07

it's like torture watching yeah he's

01:40:09

torture like I hate watching games not

01:40:11

when I should be on the pitch

01:40:14

do you think you deserve the punishment

01:40:16

you got

01:40:19

um I mean

01:40:22

if that's what the rules are

01:40:24

then so be it that's the punishment I

01:40:26

should have got but yeah looking on the

01:40:28

other cases

01:40:30

and the fact that they were

01:40:32

lower leagues

01:40:35

it's kind of like

01:40:36

why did he get that and I got this

01:40:39

is it because he's there and I'm here

01:40:42

but now I feel like

01:40:45

if this is a punishment for doing what

01:40:46

I've done to make that make sure the

01:40:48

next person gets that make sure next

01:40:50

person gets that like make it all fair

01:40:52

fair and correct

01:40:55

what

01:40:56

I think it was fair but

01:40:59

it is what it is

01:41:01

I can't

01:41:03

see

01:41:04

I can't change nothing now I can't

01:41:07

that's not put me focuses on

01:41:11

if it's fair or not that isn't help no

01:41:15

situations yeah I think it's possible to

01:41:16

take responsibility for your actions I

01:41:19

did that but also to think that it was

01:41:22

unfair because they I think maybe

01:41:24

rightly so they are they are making

01:41:25

making an example of you because those

01:41:27

lower league players that would never

01:41:28

send a message would it of course so

01:41:31

with the big wages and the big status

01:41:33

and the popularity and all the upsides

01:41:35

comes this other thing which is like

01:41:38

bigger sanctions bigger publicity bigger

01:41:40

it's more of a talking point and more

01:41:42

and more of a story but and I'll tell

01:41:44

you what you go out there and you start

01:41:46

bagging goals

01:41:48

yeah ain't nobody gonna be talking about

01:41:49

oh anything else that's that's another

01:41:51

reason I want to be scoring goals so

01:41:54

four things right and that people talk

01:41:56

about my goal scoring rather than

01:41:59

rubbish past

01:42:02

I think you I think you're gonna I think

01:42:04

you're gonna go back to Brentford and I

01:42:06

think you're gonna [ __ ] tear it up

01:42:08

um because I sense a real deep Drive in

01:42:10

you that I've not seen in many people

01:42:13

um a real sense of like self-belief and

01:42:15

conviction even what you're saying about

01:42:16

the penalties there like I played at

01:42:17

soccer Aid and they came over to me and

01:42:19

asked me if I wanted a panel you know

01:42:22

I went to the back of the group I swear

01:42:25

of that so hard this year I played this

01:42:26

year I got injured before the game at

01:42:27

Old Trafford but I played in training

01:42:29

and we had to do a penalty issue out

01:42:31

Potch was the manager and um I just said

01:42:33

to myself Steve Stafford and take one

01:42:34

and this was to decide who got which

01:42:36

dressing room I took one I scored it and

01:42:37

then the next day I pulled my pulled my

01:42:39

hamstring got the grade three tear but I

01:42:41

was proud of myself for stepping up and

01:42:42

doing it yeah

01:42:44

I think if you have in your head I'm

01:42:47

gonna do this you have a better chance

01:42:49

of thinking

01:42:52

what is this there's no point thinking

01:42:54

that I even was yeah back is 100 like it

01:42:57

was

01:42:58

Strikers I've played with especially

01:43:00

strikes I play with now

01:43:02

because he's I'll say I'll say his name

01:43:05

Brian good because he knows he's like my

01:43:07

little brother

01:43:08

I said something like

01:43:10

when he missed a chance he gets so angry

01:43:12

with himself saying bro it's fine you

01:43:15

you're not a robot you can miss chances

01:43:18

when the next chance comes you'll score

01:43:20

and he he's he's got a lot better at

01:43:22

that and he's been scoring so

01:43:25

I think just

01:43:26

don't dwell on things but you've got a

01:43:29

big trunk coming up January yes and I

01:43:31

hope you score oh I know I I know I know

01:43:34

I know I do well and like I said this is

01:43:37

just another hard one

01:43:39

my bumpy road but

01:43:41

it's all good it could be worse

01:43:44

Ivan thank you thank you for um thank

01:43:46

you for the time thank you for the

01:43:48

inspiration you've given me

01:43:50

um I feel like I understand you

01:43:52

feel like I understand you and listen we

01:43:54

all make mistakes in life I think it's

01:43:55

really important we've all made mistakes

01:43:57

having so many mistakes I think it's

01:43:59

yours are obviously more publicly

01:44:00

broadcast because of who you are and

01:44:01

you're at the top of the game you're the

01:44:02

peak of your powers but um I think it's

01:44:05

important as you've said that you you

01:44:07

take responsibility for it you move on

01:44:09

and you let the football do the talking

01:44:10

and I think that's exactly exactly what

01:44:13

you have done and that's what um I'm

01:44:15

really excited to see from you going

01:44:16

forward as I said because you're special

01:44:19

you've got a very special talent you've

01:44:21

got a very special mentality and a very

01:44:23

special talent to match it and uh

01:44:26

we can't let that go to waste so we need

01:44:28

to it will go to waste for sure some of

01:44:31

the people around me

01:44:32

they won't allow it to go toys so

01:44:35

good

01:44:36

thank you so much for your time bro

01:44:37

means a lot to me that you um came here

01:44:39

and spoke to me and uh I'm a big fan and

01:44:41

I really do hope you end up at

01:44:42

Manchester United one day

01:44:44

thanks for having me thanks thanks it's

01:44:47

been good it's been good to talk through

01:44:48

things and

01:44:50

maybe this can help the next person if

01:44:53

there was to think twice on doing side

01:44:54

of things or

01:44:56

maybe to open up about sort of thing so

01:44:58

yes

01:44:59

probably it's probably easiest good

01:45:01

effects off me like I said

01:45:05

quick one you guys know that for years

01:45:08

now my office is quite literally been

01:45:10

everywhere on a plane in the back of my

01:45:12

car in a terminal in an airport or on a

01:45:15

train you name it I've probably worked

01:45:17

there ever since I started my first

01:45:18

business at 19 years old I've been

01:45:20

working on the move all I need is Wi-Fi

01:45:23

a desk and my headphones and I'm set and

01:45:26

one of the places that has always had my

01:45:28

back when I'm struggling to find an

01:45:30

office is wework I've been using wework

01:45:32

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[Music]

01:46:14

foreign

01:46:16

[Music]

01:46:30

[Music]

01:46:32

foreign

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Episode Highlights

Ivan Toney's Journey
From rejection at Leicester to Premier League stardom, Ivan Toney shares his story.
“Rejection is not the best feeling.”
@ 05m 06s
August 21, 2023
Overcoming Adversity
Toney reflects on the challenges he faced and how he persevered through rejection.
“This is where the hard work starts.”
@ 12m 36s
August 21, 2023
Fatherhood and Motivation
Becoming a father changed my perspective and focus on my career.
“I want to make him proud so when he’s older, that’s my dad.”
@ 24m 01s
August 21, 2023
The Importance of Hard Work
Brentford's success is rooted in hard work and teamwork.
“Hard work, plain and simple.”
@ 27m 40s
August 21, 2023
Bottling Emotions
He reflects on how bottling up emotions can lead to internal struggles.
“When we bottle up our emotions, they eat us up from inside”
@ 41m 16s
August 21, 2023
The Impact of Betting
He discusses how betting affected his life and finances, waiting for payday.
“I could spend my wage and then wait for payday”
@ 52m 32s
August 21, 2023
Understanding Gambling Addiction
He learns about gambling addiction through a tribunal process, realizing his stubbornness.
“You don’t allow yourself to believe it”
@ 59m 03s
August 21, 2023
A Learning Moment
Reflecting on past mistakes leads to personal growth and responsibility.
“This chapter of your life has clearly been a big learning moment.”
@ 01h 03m 06s
August 21, 2023
Support from Loved Ones
Family support plays a crucial role during tough times.
“Making them happy and making them smile is what gives me the fuel to do well.”
@ 01h 16m 49s
August 21, 2023
Legacy for the Next Generation
He reflects on the legacy he wants to leave for his children, emphasizing hard work and success.
“I want them to be successful and strong like I was.”
@ 01h 25m 42s
August 21, 2023
Facing Pressure with Confidence
He thrives under pressure, using it as motivation to prove doubters wrong.
“I can't wait for the pressure; it drives me.”
@ 01h 35m 23s
August 21, 2023
The Drive to Succeed
A conversation about overcoming challenges and the desire to score goals again.
“You go out there and you start bagging goals; ain’t nobody gonna be talking about anything else.”
@ 01h 41m 44s
August 21, 2023

Episode Quotes

I’ve made it! I’m here!
Ivan Toney Finally Opens Up About His Ban & Reveals His Preferred Future Team!
I want to make him proud so when he’s older, that’s my dad.
Ivan Toney Finally Opens Up About His Ban & Reveals His Preferred Future Team!
I was just baffled and even to like my car insurance.
Ivan Toney Finally Opens Up About His Ban & Reveals His Preferred Future Team!
You don't know what you don't know, pretty much.
Ivan Toney Finally Opens Up About His Ban & Reveals His Preferred Future Team!
I want to be playing at the highest possible level.
Ivan Toney Finally Opens Up About His Ban & Reveals His Preferred Future Team!
What’s done is done; you could talk about it.
Ivan Toney Finally Opens Up About His Ban & Reveals His Preferred Future Team!

Key Moments

Fatherhood24:01
Hard Work27:40
Missing Out36:34
Gambling Reflection1:00:01
Striker Aspirations1:19:11
Club Culture1:20:21
Proving Doubters Wrong1:35:44
Moving Forward1:44:05

Words per Minute Over Time

Vibes Breakdown

Frank Lampard Finally Speaks Out About What REALLY Happened At Chelsea | E264

July 13, 2023

01:55:39

Frank Lampard Finally Speaks Out About What REALLY Happened At Chelsea | E264

David Moyes Reveals The Truth About Man United, West Ham & His Future | E213

January 16, 2023

01:29:19

David Moyes Reveals The Truth About Man United, West Ham & His Future | E213

Peter Crouch Opens Up About His Dark Times & Crying Himself To Sleep | E196

November 17, 2022

01:50:03

Peter Crouch Opens Up About His Dark Times & Crying Himself To Sleep | E196

Jamie Carragher: The Untold Story of Liverpool Legend That Pushed Himself Too Far | E206

December 22, 2022

01:37:39

Jamie Carragher: The Untold Story of Liverpool Legend That Pushed Himself Too Far | E206

Chris Kamara: The Untold Heartbreaking Story Of A Football Legend!

September 12, 2022

01:12:42

Chris Kamara: The Untold Heartbreaking Story Of A Football Legend!

Patrice Evra: Learning How To Cry Saved My Life!

November 08, 2021

01:35:09

Patrice Evra: Learning How To Cry Saved My Life!