00:00:00
I've had bouts with depression throughout my career, but man, when it hits me, it's bad.
00:00:04
>> Which kind of brings us to the airport incident? You know, I really messed up,
00:00:08
man. >> You and her and her. >> Look what happened. >> So, it's Father's Day and I felt good in
00:00:13
the morning. I spent the morning with my kids, but then as I was traveling to work, I felt that feeling again. It's
00:00:18
like a cloud in my head that I just can't get out from under. So, I started drinking.
00:00:22
>> I'll fight you right now. >> No, I don't want to fight, bro. >> And my emotions got the best of me.
00:00:26
>> Bro, relax. Relax. Relax, bro. Relax. got arrested. >> This guy's a UFC. >> Did I just ruin everything that I was
00:00:33
working for? You know, I don't know yet. And it could have been so much worse. >> What was going on in your mind?
00:00:38
>> I was angry at the world and I just couldn't stop thinking about my father. You know, he's actually homeless right
00:00:43
now. And I tried to help him out and he's back out on the street. Not that anything's an excuse, but it wasn't
00:00:50
myself. And I never really spoke about it until right now, but I'm back in therapy. And when you sit down with
00:00:55
somebody and start opening things up, you realize this could be linked to my childhood.
00:00:59
>> And when I think about your earliest contacts, you got a father that's an alcoholic, violence in the home, and
00:01:04
your mom said that you were an alcoholic kid. >> I started drinking at 12, 13, >> expelled from school as well.
00:01:09
>> And you got arrested and I didn't have any goals. >> So, it was a bit of a roller coaster,
00:01:14
but look what happened. You rose, >> one of the best lightweights in the world. >> I was on top of the world, but the
00:01:22
roller coasters go down too. And this was the moment. >> Yeah, man. >> July 30th, you retired. How does it feel
00:01:28
looking at that photo? >> Yeah. I'm trying not to tear up, dude. It was my life, man. Those gloves, me
00:01:34
putting them on the mat is a piece of myself I left. But a wise man said, "If a man's lucky, he gets to die twice."
00:01:40
That part of me that every day wake up, push yourself to be the best fighter you
00:01:43
can be, is dead. I'm retired Dustin. I'm businessman Dustin. Now, you know, it's
00:01:47
just I'm trying to figure it all out cuz for 20 years I was dreaming about being
00:01:50
the best. I just want to dream again, you know. >> Has there ever been anything that
00:01:55
compared? >> No. Nothing fills that void of what fighting was. And fighting was a part of
00:02:00
therapy for me. And some days I wake up and I'm like, these top guys that are winning now on these upcoming cards, I
00:02:05
can beat them still. >> So, is there any possibility that you ever return to the UFC?
00:02:19
>> This is super interesting to me. My team given me this report to show me how many
00:02:22
of you that watch this show subscribe and some of you have told us according to this that you are unsubscribed from
00:02:27
the channel randomly. So favor to ask all of you please could you check right now if you've hit the subscribe button
00:02:32
if you are a regular view of the show and you like what we do here. We're approaching quite a significant landmark
00:02:37
on this show in terms of a subscriber number. So, if there was one simple free thing that you could do to help us, my
00:02:43
team, everyone here, to keep this show free, to keep it improving year over year and week over week, it is just to
00:02:48
hit that subscribe button and to double check if you've hit it. Only thing I'll ever ask of you. Do we have a deal? If
00:02:53
you do it, I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll make sure every single week, every single month, we fight harder and harder
00:02:59
and harder and harder to bring you the guests and conversations that you want to hear. I've stayed true to that
00:03:02
promise since the very beginning of the D of Sio, and I will not let you down. Please help us. Really appreciate it.
00:03:08
Let's get on with the show. >> Dustin Porier. >> Yo, >> you know, there's a there's a question
00:03:18
that we kind of throw around in society. Um, we say it quite quite flippantly to
00:03:21
people we meet, friends, family, strangers. Um, but but in this context, I want to ask it in the most sort of
00:03:26
intentional way and give me the long answer. How are you doing >> as a whole? Great.
00:03:38
Uh recently there's been some turbulence, you know. Uh but I'm I'm doing well. Doing well.
00:03:46
>> There's been some turbulence. >> Yeah. Give me some color on that. I last week,
00:03:59
which is not new to me, let my emotions get the best of me. Kind of was in a in a bad spot. uh mentally started
00:04:05
drinking, got arrested, you know, um got into some trouble at the airport in Atlanta and uh you know, not proud of
00:04:16
it, but it is what it is. >> I want to um give some background context and I spent the last couple of
00:04:23
days sort of looking through your childhood and where you come from and who you are to try and fill the picture
00:04:29
of Dustin Porier in my head. And I've got lots of photos of you here as a as a young man. Um, got another one even
00:04:36
younger here that I'll share with you here. >> Yeah. >> And I think this is incredibly important
00:04:40
context because I'd watched you fight the best that there is and beat the best that there is in the UFC. But it wasn't
00:04:46
until I understood your earliest context that I started to like understand the picture of where you've come from and
00:04:51
also in some part like how that makes you who you are today. >> So, so take me back. What is the early
00:04:57
context that people need to understand to really understand you as a man? >> Um,
00:05:03
I'm just a man. Uh, trying his best, trying to provide for my family, learning as I go,
00:05:11
not scared to work hard, not scared to chase dreams. Just a kid from Lafayette, Louisiana, who found something to put
00:05:19
his all into and and try to become great at it, you know, with fighting. >> Your your father and your grandfather
00:05:24
were fighters. My father boxed um growing up when he was younger. My grandfather was in the Navy and worked
00:05:32
in the oil field and stuff. They weren't successful fighters. I wouldn't say they
00:05:36
were like nobody knew who they were, but definitely Yeah, I come from fighters for sure.
00:05:40
>> And from money? Do you come from money? >> No, definitely not. >> What was that like growing up? Was there
00:05:46
>> It was normal to me cuz I didn't know any different, you know. Um, it wasn't like I missed a meal or anything like
00:05:52
that, but definitely wasn't wasn't rich or anything or had money to do a whole lot of things when I was younger, but a
00:05:59
working-class family, you know. >> And your parents divorced when you were younger?
00:06:03
>> Yeah. Yeah. I lived I lived with them up until about maybe kindergarten or first
00:06:10
first grade, then they got divorced. >> Do you have any sort of mental models or
00:06:14
mental images of them being together when younger? Is there any memories of them being together?
00:06:18
>> Honestly, dude, not to to be to turn it dark or anything, but the early memories
00:06:23
I have of them together aren't the best. You know, it's fighting and violence and
00:06:27
stuff, >> physical fighting. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> In that Instagram post you you wrote
00:06:33
recently after the incident in the airport, you mentioned your father and you mentioned, I think, some of his
00:06:38
struggles. He had his own struggles with alcohol. >> Yeah. His whole life he has. Yeah.
00:06:42
Alcohol has ruined his life. And alcohol was present when you were a young man when you were still there.
00:06:47
>> He's been an alcoholic my entire life. >> Did you have a relationship with him
00:06:51
after the divorce? >> Yeah, of course. I don't know what that's called. Uh split custody or
00:06:55
something where >> every other weekend I would go to his house, spend the weekend at his house.
00:07:00
>> How did that season of your life do you think as you look back shape the man that you became? Like that early context
00:07:05
under the age of 10 years old that violent parents, they divorce, they separate, your dad is struggling with
00:07:11
alcohol. Like how do you look back on that? >> As a grown man, I look back and think my
00:07:15
father was an idiot for, you know, getting not being there with his kids. You know, as a father, I think
00:07:21
about that. Like I I don't waking up with my kids in the house, running up to me, making them breakfast every day.
00:07:28
Like I couldn't I I never want to live that type of life. I can't can't even imagine it. So, as an adult and a father
00:07:34
looking back on it, I think he's made a lot of mistakes that, you know, I think he still lives with. and your mom.
00:07:42
>> Uhhuh. >> Got some nice photos of her as well. Um that's your wife. Um but she seems to
00:07:48
have been um a real constant throughout your life. That's her there. >> For sure. For sure. I'll be on vacation
00:07:54
with her in a week. Yeah. Look at my face. >> Post fight. >> Her and my grandmother raised me. She
00:08:00
was, you know, everything. Mothers are everything. And she's she still is, you know,
00:08:07
calling me, texting me every day, checking on me, asking how I am. >> And you got two brothers.
00:08:12
>> So I have two brothers I grew up with. Two brothers and a sister I met when I
00:08:18
was 25 26 years old from my father. >> I guess I'm trying to figure out as well cuz I I heard about what you were like
00:08:25
in school. You struggled in school. >> It sounds sounds like you got in a lot of fights when you were younger.
00:08:30
>> Um I'm trying to figure out where that came from in you. >> Yeah. I mean, living in South Louisiana, we we
00:08:38
fought all the time. Uh, but I just kept doing it. I just kept going with fighting, you know,
00:08:43
>> as a young man. I I read that you were expelled from school as well. >> Uhhuh.
00:08:47
>> And was that again for fighting and struggling to >> Yeah. Yeah. Fighting. The one that got
00:08:52
me expelled was a fight. >> And that seems to be a little quite a consistent pattern from 10 to 14. Um,
00:08:59
struggling in school, fighting. And then at 15, I hear that you end up in juvenile detention center.
00:09:05
>> 14. >> 14. >> Mhm. >> What was the what was the road there? What happened? >> I had got into some trouble at one of
00:09:11
the times I was living with my father. I uh got into a fight >> and and physically hurt somebody in the
00:09:18
fight and got arrested and uh I was on probation at the time and I wasn't going to school. got picked up for truency and
00:09:27
some other things like that for not going to school and uh failed the drug test. I was on probation at the time,
00:09:33
failed the drug test and then I they sent me to juvenile detention. >> Were you drinking at that age?
00:09:38
>> Yeah. >> At 15. >> Mhm. >> When did you start drinking? >> I was talking to my wife the other day
00:09:43
and I was thinking about that. I don't know 12, 13 probably. H it is it is quite um it's quite curious
00:09:50
to me that you know 14 15 you're getting in trouble for fighting you end up in a
00:09:55
detention center you're drinking from 12 years old and it it like begs the question to me as someone that's done
00:10:00
lots of these interviews like what was going on in that in that young man's mind
00:10:03
>> I don't have an answer what was going on um not having anywhere to put my focus
00:10:09
not I wasn't trying to be the best at something I was just living dayto-day doing whatever you know I didn't have
00:10:15
any goals I was a young kid, you know. It's tough to it's tough to say to look back to
00:10:20
that young and really say what I was thinking at that age. Um I was just being a kid, I guess.
00:10:26
>> Were you a happy kid? >> Yeah. >> You were a happy kid. >> Yeah. >> And you were spending the week with your
00:10:31
mother and then the week you said was it the weekends with your father? >> The weekend or every other weekend? I
00:10:35
forget exactly how it was. Yeah. >> And when you talk about his life being ruined by alcohol, what do you mean by
00:10:40
what do you mean by that? I mean, he has he's ruined his marriages. He's ruined his relationships. He's ruined his
00:10:50
friendships. He's ruined his relationships with his family, with his kids. Two son, three Well, my little
00:10:56
brother kind of is off and on talking to him, but he has two kids that don't speak to him at all and and won't uh you
00:11:04
know, he's been in jail plenty of times for for alcohol-related stuff. And yeah, I if I could paint a picture what
00:11:14
you think of of of a classic drunk uh or alcoholic, you know, very selfish um and
00:11:21
continues to go back to it. Continues he's actually homeless. Homeless right now.
00:11:24
>> He's homeless right now. >> Yeah. Part of that me getting in trouble at the airport was
00:11:31
I just felt uh and it's not my weight to carry, you know, but I just felt I try to help him out and he's back out on the
00:11:38
street. It's like it almost doesn't want help, you know? And I was just kind of on Father's Day, I was traveling to work
00:11:47
and I I just couldn't stop thinking about my father and I started drinking in the airport
00:11:52
and that's kind of what led to the incident. It's just But when I feel like that, you know, I've been going to
00:12:00
therapy and stuff like that. years ago, I started going to therapy. And when I started feeling better, I stopped
00:12:06
practicing everything I learned through therapy, you know, >> and uh then I felt that feeling again.
00:12:12
Just an I guess call it depression. Just didn't feel well. And when I feel like that, I
00:12:18
know I shouldn't drink. And I drank anyway. So, you know, not that my father anything's an excuse.
00:12:24
Obviously, I did what I did. Um, but I knew I knew better in the moment when I'm feeling like that to to to
00:12:32
drink or do anything. You know, alcohol has never benefited me, especially in times like that where I'm mentally not
00:12:39
the best. >> You use the word depression there to describe that feeling to to give it a
00:12:44
word. So, let's use that word. >> Um, can you paint a picture for me in terms of what that actually feels like?
00:12:50
That day that you wake up, it's Father's Day, you don't feel good. Like, what is
00:12:53
that? >> No, I I felt good in the morning. you know, I spent the morning with my with
00:12:56
my kids. My daughter wrote me a letter. She gave me presents, you know, did all the Father's Day stuff. I had a a great
00:13:02
morning. But then when I left my home to go to fly out, I started feeling it, you
00:13:07
know, and and days leading up to that, it would come off and on, coming off and on, and I
00:13:12
would think about, you know, my father and it would kind of bring me down, but it wasn't that bad. But for Father's
00:13:18
Day, it just hit me, man. It hit me hard >> because he's currently homeless. >> Yeah.
00:13:22
>> Here in Louisiana. Yeah. Yeah. I actually, man, when I got out of jail in Atlanta and flew back home on that
00:13:32
Tuesday, I got back late maybe Tuesday. Uh Wednesday morning, I drove to where he
00:13:40
he lives or where he sleeps, and uh went to the sheriff's office, got in contact
00:13:45
with the coroner. I had to do a whole process to to sign a OPC, order of protective custody. I tried to get him
00:13:52
to pick him up against his will and and all this stuff and they did but I went at the wrong time and I went early in
00:13:58
the morning when I woke up and when they picked him up he wasn't disoriented he was normal you know and uh so they
00:14:06
released him again. >> What is the range of feelings and emotions you have towards him at the
00:14:12
moment? you know, he's always that's tough. And I'm not angry at him. I'm uh and once again, this isn't an
00:14:24
excuse for my actions. You know, my father just came to a head on Father's Day, but uh just
00:14:34
upset to see him doing this to himself and not getting out of his own way and continuing to let it get just worse and
00:14:41
worse progressively over the years when he when he knows better. you know, when he knows better.
00:14:48
I mean, most people when you make a mistake or do you try to fix it, you try to make tomorrow better than
00:14:54
yesterday, you know, next year better than this year. Everybody just keeps doing the same thing. And that's because
00:15:00
he's addicted to alcohol. >> What is his story? I wish I I I knew more so I could tell
00:15:11
you, but been like a hard worker his whole life, you know, did whatever. Worked in the
00:15:17
oil field for a long time, but uh check to check his whole life. Um simple guy, you know, was a really good
00:15:25
athlete in in school. Got a woman pregnant at a young age in high school, so he couldn't uh continue
00:15:32
to focus and chase his dreams of playing football. um you know back then when you
00:15:37
got a a girl pregnant you got married and got a job and and things like that. So that's what he did.
00:15:44
>> So that day you wake up you're feeling okay in the morning it's father's day you start thinking about your father you
00:15:50
get that feeling that you describe as depression. >> Yeah. >> Um which is just how what is that
00:15:55
feeling? It's feeling >> for someone that has never experienced it before. You know, I I've had bouts
00:16:00
with depression throughout my career. When it hits me, you know, it hits it hits me hard. And that day, it hit me.
00:16:05
It hit me hard, man. You know, going to the airport, it just feels like everything is has a its own gravity and
00:16:11
it's going to pull me towards the negative. No matter what it is, it's like a cloud in my in my head that I
00:16:16
just can't get out from under it. It It's hard to explain to you unless you've been through it. That's what I
00:16:20
try to tell my wife cuz she's always so happy and so, you know, which is great. But like when I feel like that and it
00:16:28
doesn't happen often, but man, when it hits me, it's bad, you know? It's bad. >> Do you remember the first time you felt
00:16:33
that? >> I don't, but my wife, you know, me and my wife been together a long time since
00:16:39
we were in off and on through middle school and high school and all that, but she she tells me, "Don't you Yeah,
00:16:48
>> there she is. She tells me, "Don't you remember? Like, I've always thought something, you know, you never wanted to
00:16:53
be around big crowds, go to all the parties with me when I was younger and do all that stuff." Yeah, because I I
00:16:58
just didn't like to be around that many people that much, you know, I I maybe it
00:17:02
was uh anxiety I was dealing with. I don't know. This stuff is all new to me. So, I'm just I would tell her how I feel
00:17:08
and she's like, "Don't you remember?" So, she thinks I've been having it, but I started noticing it, you know, more
00:17:13
recently >> in the last years, three, four years. Was there a catalyst at all? A catalyst
00:17:20
moment? Something that happened that caused you to feel that or >> if I could link it to something, it was
00:17:25
I lost a big fight, came back home with which fight? >> My second fight with Justin Gatechi.
00:17:30
>> Yeah. >> Lost that one, came back home, everything was good, and then it would
00:17:34
just I was really emotional, man. You know, some days I would be fine, some days I would be sad, and I was like,
00:17:39
"Something's off, you know, something's off." off. So that's when I started going to therapy and trying to unpack
00:17:44
some of the stuff that I didn't even know I was walking around with, you know. >> Did you learn anything through the
00:17:49
process of therapy? I've been to therapy, too. I've been I mean, >> still the day uh I got back from
00:17:54
Atlanta, I started going to therapy again >> after the airport incident. >> Yeah. Yeah. Right before I I went try to
00:18:02
help my father, uh I went through a therapy session. So I had kind of closed the door on therapy when I started
00:18:07
feeling good again, you know? But then I'm starting to realize like it's not something that you just fix. It's
00:18:13
something you have to work on always. And you know, so and that's that's what I'm trying to do, you know, since for
00:18:18
the last week I've been waking up early, reading some stuff, writing, doing something hard in the morning, just
00:18:24
trying to do everything that I was doing that made me feel better 3 years ago. And I'm trying my best, man.
00:18:34
Have you learned anything about yourself through the process of therapy? Yeah, that maybe some some of the childhood
00:18:40
stuff I'm still carrying around. I don't think about it, you know. It's not like
00:18:43
the first, you know, but >> it's unconscious a lot of it. >> Right. Right. Right. But deep down I'm
00:18:47
still carrying things I think from my childhood. And everybody, you know, I've learned a lot through therapy. Everybody
00:18:53
deals with different emotions and process things differently. And and I'm still going through it. You
00:19:02
know, I'm back in therapy now. I've I've been able to interview lots of people and so I've interviewed like
00:19:07
psychologists, lots of them, so many therapists I've interviewed. One of the the things that I noticed which was
00:19:12
quite stark to me was that um young boys in particular that grow up without a stable father figure are much more
00:19:19
likely to be um have anger issues, be depressed, struggle in life. But it's actually the the data excuse more
00:19:25
towards young boys without that sort of stable father figure. Um but also that if you compound that with there being
00:19:31
violence in the home from a young age that's also another factor which exacerbates the situation where so those
00:19:36
are sort of two of the things that stood out to me was the absence of your father
00:19:40
also having a father or a parent that's dealing with addiction >> is another burden for so many reasons.
00:19:46
So those three things are the things that from your story and from you know I I thought oh that's
00:19:51
>> those are um those are challenges that are understandable to stay with you as a
00:19:55
as an adult. >> Yeah for sure. And then then you don't even think about think about them at all
00:20:01
throughout your whole life. And then you sit down with somebody and start opening
00:20:03
things up and talking about things. You see, well, maybe I could be, you know, this could be linked to different things
00:20:08
and I could be carrying stuff that isn't mine to carry and and things like that.
00:20:12
You know, as I'm growing up and being more mature and talking and speaking to with professionals and stuff, I'm
00:20:16
starting to unpack some of that. >> And was that difficult to do >> therapy? >> Yeah.
00:20:21
>> Yeah, man. Yeah. You know, it's >> difficult to even say, isn't it? >> Right. And even at the beginning when I
00:20:26
first started doing interviews like Ariel Hwani and stuff and I would bring it up like I'm you know I'm working on
00:20:31
myself I'm going to therapy. I it felt weak in the moment like who am I? I'm going through therapy. I'm telling the
00:20:37
world I'm going to therapy. But then I I look at it hindsight. I'm like you know
00:20:40
what that's that's strength. I you know especially in a tough guys sport. >> Mhm.
00:20:45
>> You know we're fighting and bleeding and beating each other up. Beating the best
00:20:48
guys up in the world. You know fighting the best guys in the world. And I need to go to therapy to unpack some stuff.
00:20:53
It just it's crazy. The human mind is is incredible. >> It's funny cuz we go to the gym, right?
00:20:58
And we like work on our physical performance, but going to therapy is that we got to hide that.
00:21:02
>> And the gym was a part of therapy for me. Fighting was a part of therapy, you
00:21:06
know, for me. And uh and I always always was scared of that. You know, what am I
00:21:11
going to do to to sabotage myself when I when I retire from fighting because I don't have this
00:21:17
outlet anymore. You know, I've done it for 20 years of fighting. I always had somewhere to go, you know. I always had
00:21:22
to to get better at the gym, to to work on fighting, to focus on something. Every day I could get up and push myself
00:21:29
to try to be better, to answer a new question, to do anything with fighting to get better
00:21:35
on multiple levels, whether it's the techniques or whether it's my my physical fitness, anything. There was
00:21:40
always something to work on work on always. And when I retired, I was kind of worried about that, like how will
00:21:46
life look post fighting, you know? Um, I was scared of it. I was scared of it >> because I mean you've been fighting
00:21:55
since you were what 16 17. >> Yeah. >> And you're 37 now. So it's just over two decades that fighting has been your kind
00:22:04
of north star and your orientation. >> It was always there for me. Always there for me. You know, no matter what was
00:22:09
going on, I could go to the gym and drown out any noise in my brain. Any, you know, quiet that voice in your head.
00:22:18
And I was scared to not have that anymore. And I I still have it. I can still go to the gym every day if I want,
00:22:22
but it's not the same. You know, it doesn't feel the same. >> It doesn't feel the same.
00:22:28
>> Not being on the mats preparing to fight someone for your life and your family's
00:22:32
well-being in front of the world. If I'm just training just to spin my wheels, it
00:22:35
doesn't feel I've done this my whole life training. Still fun. I have fun. You know, we do whatever train, but it's
00:22:41
not It doesn't feel the same to me anymore >> because there's not a goal, a big goal
00:22:45
at the end of it to focus your being. >> Exactly. Hm. >> When you look through the last 20 years,
00:22:50
you do you see fighting as a really productive distraction in some respects then?
00:22:55
>> For me, yeah, for me 100%. >> Yeah. It was an outlet. It was something to focus on. It was something to try to
00:23:02
be the best at. It was It consumed me, man. It consumed me. Fighting was my entire life. And now post fighting, it's
00:23:10
like separating myself from the fighter is I'm I'm trying to figure it out still. You know, a a buddy
00:23:17
of mine told me the other day, a wise man told him, "If you're lucky, you die twice. If a man's lucky, he gets to die
00:23:23
twice." And that's kind of what I'm going through right now. Now, that that makes sense to me. You know, that part
00:23:29
of me that every day wake up, push yourself to be the best fighter you can be is dead. You know, I'm retired Dustin
00:23:36
now. I'm businessman Dustin. I'm father I was I was a father before when I was still fighting, but I have other things,
00:23:42
other hats to wear. You know, it's just I'm trying to figure it out. I'm trying to figure it all out.
00:23:48
>> And it's only been 11 years. Not even a year. Yeah. >> July 30th, wasn't it? Last year that you
00:23:54
retired >> here in this in New Orleans. >> Do do they offer you any support with
00:23:59
that retirement process? >> As far as >> as far as giving you like a road map for
00:24:05
how to deal with the mental shift? >> No. >> There's no like sort of postfighting
00:24:10
program. >> No, there should be. For sure. There should be, but no. because it's quite a
00:24:14
familiar story across sports, >> right? And that's what I was always when I would see it happen, I knew I was
00:24:18
like, I'm never going to be that, you know, I'm never going to be the guy that goes and gets arrested or gets hooked on
00:24:24
drugs or blows all of his money and just, you know, you see it over and over and not just in fighting, in
00:24:29
professional sports, you know, it's like you've done something so long your whole life, so intense and so, you
00:24:38
know, it takes all of you. When it's gone, it's like, what else can I do to the maximum? What else? dopamine hit can
00:24:43
I get what can I just pour myself into and go crazy on something you know and a lot of times it's bad things dangerous
00:24:50
things you know you see it time and time again and I always said I'll never be that guy and I'm not you know I ran into
00:24:55
some trouble the other the other week but I'm still making a lot of right decisions you know what I mean I'm not
00:25:00
that it just sucks to be at this point to where I always saw those guys getting arrested and doing stuff and I was like
00:25:06
man what an idiot what an idiot you know but I wasn't going through it then I didn't understand it
00:25:10
>> at that time And alcohol has been a a constant through your childhood through
00:25:16
your career >> for me drinking. >> Yeah. >> No, I mean I >> when you were younger
00:25:20
>> celebrate when I was younger probably every weekend you know but >> as I became an adult and focused on
00:25:27
fighting I went years without drinking. >> Okay. And then even now, well, as I when
00:25:32
I retired, it slowly became more and more and more cuz I didn't not have, you know, when I was in training camp, I
00:25:40
wasn't getting drunk and and drinking like that. I had to wake up the next day and run miles and be at the gym and make
00:25:45
a weight and I was really focused. >> Um, but when I retired, I didn't have to anymore. So then it kind of started
00:25:52
slipping back in. And even when I was fighting, you know, c celebrations, gatherings, I would drink. I would
00:25:57
drink, but it wasn't a weekly. It wasn't a weekly or daily thing, but I've always
00:26:01
had a bad relationship with alcohol. Like I've always 90% of the times if I do drink, I'm
00:26:09
going to drink to be the best at drinking. >> I'm going to drink more than everybody.
00:26:13
You know, that's the danger. It it can benefit you in other things that that drive and that craziness. You know, you
00:26:20
can focus it on something and it'll benefit you or it can hurt you. You know, and that's that's the way I've
00:26:25
always been. So I as learning learning myself over the years, I know, you know, to be careful with alcohol and going
00:26:33
through mental things like I know especially when I'm feeling the way I felt that day to not touch it. But I
00:26:38
just told that voice to shut up and I just drank and did what I wanted to do, you
00:26:43
know, but I I know better. Um, as I got gotten older, it's gotten better, you know, but until recently,
00:26:51
>> I sat here with um a lady called Dr. Anna LMK. She's like a dopamine expert. Uh,
00:26:56
>> and I actually didn't really know until she she sat here and explained it to me
00:26:59
that um, alcohol gives you a big hit of dopamine. >> Yeah. >> She also said to me that um, sort of
00:27:04
genetically, person to person, we all have a different vice. So, for example, she said that she got addicted to erotic
00:27:11
novels. >> Now, another person would never get addicted to that. Um, some people's vice
00:27:16
is alcohol. So, they they do what you describe, which is they have one and then it's just straight line up until
00:27:21
>> Right. Yeah. other people like they can have one or two or three and it kind of
00:27:25
plateau and they stop and they go home >> and I envy them. You know, I have my wife is like that. One of my good
00:27:29
buddies is like that. They can have two drinks and be done. If I drink, we're drinking till the bottles gone. You
00:27:35
know, that's no matter how many times in my life I've said it's going to be different this
00:27:40
time. It's going to be, you know, I'm only going to have two. It It's never never worked out. So, coming back home,
00:27:47
talking to my wife and stuff, uh, I'm going to cut alcohol completely out of my life. You know, I made that
00:27:54
decision. I'm not going to be like my father or make another mistake like I made in the airport. It's just it's not
00:28:01
helping me in any way. You know, it might be a quick release and a quick hit of dopamine, but it's not benefiting me
00:28:06
in any way. So, I got to cut it off. Cut it off from my life. >> It's not an easy thing to do
00:28:12
>> with socializing and things like that. It's it's it's tougher to to be the sober one, but in everyday life, it's
00:28:18
it's not hard >> for me. You know, I've I've never been an alcoholic. I just have a bad
00:28:22
relationship if I do drink. >> So, cutting it out completely is, >> you know, not a big deal.
00:28:28
>> So, so take me to that day then. You wake up, you go to you go to the airport, you're flying to Atlanta.
00:28:33
You're going you're going somewhere. Where are you going? >> Atlanta. I'm going to uh to South
00:28:37
Florida. It was actually a three-le trip. I was supposed to go to South Florida for a day that afternoon, fly
00:28:44
out, go to LA, >> shoot a commercial for 3 days from LA, Vegas, work for CBS for the weekend,
00:28:56
and then fly home. So, it was a three it was a big trip. >> Yeah, three leg trip.
00:29:02
We didn't We didn't even get the first leg. We didn't even get the first leg, man.
00:29:06
>> There should be a button just down below here. And if it says subscribed, you're
00:29:10
already subscribed. If it says subscriber, that means you're not yet. And if you're not subscribed, please
00:29:15
could you do us a favor and hit that button? It helps the show more than you know. And according to the algorithm,
00:29:20
you're someone that watches our show, but you haven't yet hit that button. Thank you so much.
00:29:24
>> What happened? What the sequence of events? >> On my flight from Lafayette, Louisiana,
00:29:31
I drank two champagnes. Nothing crazy, you know. Just um landed in Atlanta. I had a little bit
00:29:39
of a layover. Went to a bar, restaurant bar, started drinking champagne. Some guys came in, took some shots. One
00:29:50
thing led to another, go to my gate, get into it with the desk agent. They call security, call the
00:29:57
police. >> Do you remember what you said to the desk agent? >> No. >> No. >> Did the police didn't tell you after?
00:30:04
>> No. >> So, you didn't even get on the plane? >> No, I never got on the plane, I don't
00:30:07
believe. I'm pretty sure 90 90 90% sure I never got on the plane. Um, and it might have been that the desk agent
00:30:15
might have saw I was intoxicated and it's like now we can't get on this plane and that's might have what started it. I
00:30:20
don't know. But I do want to apologize to those desk agents whoever they are and the police for having to put up with
00:30:27
me man. They did it. I actually uh asked a lawyer in Atlanta who I've been working with if he can please get
00:30:35
me that officer's information, his address. I want to if I can write him a letter, his cell phone, if I can call
00:30:41
him just to tell him how great of a job he did, you know, dealing with a person in that condition and how professional
00:30:49
he was and, you know, he's incredible. It could have been so much worse. It could have been so much worse. I just
00:30:55
want to thank him. I didn't get to do that. >> So, there's some kind of argument with
00:31:00
the desk agents that you I'm guessing you can't recall. >> No. >> And then they say you're not getting on
00:31:05
the flight. >> Yeah. And that leads to them calling >> the police. >> The security or police
00:31:10
>> and the video we see is of the security guy coming in. >> The police officer. Yeah.
00:31:16
>> You've watched the video, right? >> No. So, my wife watched it. A buddy of mine. I've kind of pieced it together at
00:31:21
this point. I don't want to see it, man. >> You don't want to see it? >> I don't want to see it.
00:31:23
>> Okay. >> I don't want to see it. Even when my wife started playing it and I heard it,
00:31:27
she went watching the other room. And then I have a buddy I work out with 5 days a week.
00:31:31
>> He's kind of between him and my wife, I've put the pieces together and pretty
00:31:35
pretty much know the the extent of what happened. >> Why don't you want to watch it?
00:31:40
>> I just don't want don't want to see it, man. >> Can you articulate why that is?
00:31:47
uh to see myself in that condition, disrespecting police officers, disrespecting uh workers at the airport,
00:31:54
disrespecting myself, disrespect my family. I just don't feel like it's going to benefit me to see that. If
00:31:58
anything, I think it's going to bring me down. It's going to I'm going to keep thinking about it. Uh I I like I said,
00:32:05
for the most part, understand what happened, know what happened. I don't need to see it again, you know.
00:32:11
So, in that video, you you seem to get aggressive quite quickly, and you you offered this um gentleman a fight. Um he
00:32:21
kind of backs off. He knows who you are clearly straight away. >> He backs off. What I find interesting
00:32:26
also is he pulls out his taser. He's going to he says, you might tase you, but as you walk away and you're
00:32:32
arrested, you dap him up and you you you congratulate him on the job he did. >> Yeah. And my buddy was telling me that
00:32:38
>> he he was telling me like his my buddy's wife thinks that's the best part of the
00:32:42
video. >> It's the best part because it's funny because you're known as >> Yeah. So I didn't watch the video at
00:32:47
all. >> Mhm. >> And I every day passing I be able to piece a little bit more together and memories
00:32:56
kind of, you know, flashes of what happened are kind of playing in my head. But uh I I got home, deleted all my
00:33:02
social. I posted that on Instagram. Then I uninstalled all social media off my phone. So I haven't since Father's or
00:33:08
the day after Father's Day. I haven't been on anything. I haven't se I know they're making fun. I know they're
00:33:13
talking about me. Obviously I've been in the light with being a professional athlete for a long time. I know how this
00:33:17
goes. Um so I just uninstalled all my stuff. So I haven't seen any of the clips, any of the videos, any of
00:33:24
anything, you know, besides what my wife and my buddy are are telling me. >> Your buddy that you train with?
00:33:28
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. Well, it was it was uh it was interesting because you you seemed as
00:33:33
you walked away, you were quite polite. >> Yeah, that's what I I told him. I was
00:33:36
like, maybe I realized what was going on, you know, maybe I had a aha moment like what the hell is what am I doing,
00:33:43
you know, in that drunken stuper. I don't know. >> You said to him that he did a good job,
00:33:47
>> right? Yeah. >> Which was quite nice, >> right? And I looking back at it now with what they're what they're telling
00:33:59
me and the way he handled it, he did a great job. You know, >> I need to thank him cuz like I said, it
00:34:04
could have been so much worse. What if it was a young hotthead cop who wanted to be a superstar? I wanted to, you
00:34:09
know, it could have been horrible. you know, I could be sitting here facing serious charges
00:34:14
and just to put my wife and my children through that, you know, just, you know, it's not good.
00:34:22
>> So, you went to jail that day? >> Yeah. >> You got charged with being drunken
00:34:26
disorderly or intoxicated? >> No, they charged me with uh public intoxication. >> Okay. And they let you go the same day.
00:34:35
>> Yeah. I spent like a night spent the night or the afternoon in jail until I sobered up.
00:34:41
Then they release you on probation or something. >> I'm not on Well, >> what's it called? I don't know what the
00:34:45
laws are here. >> I haven't been to court and all that stuff yet. So, they just know they on
00:34:49
bond. >> Okay. On bond. Okay. >> And that's when you go and you know after then go and you do the therapy
00:34:55
session, you go and try and find your father. >> Yeah. >> All these trips are canceled, I'm
00:35:00
guessing, at that point. >> Yeah. >> You have to go home and speak to your your wife.
00:35:04
>> Right. Right. >> Can't be easy. It wasn't fun for sure, you know, to let her down. And
00:35:11
it's just been so long since I I don't even know how to address it really when I when I got
00:35:16
home. I I haven't been in trouble. I haven't been arrested in so long, you know, decades and decades. I don't I
00:35:21
don't even know when's the last time I got arrested. This is the first time in a in a very long time.
00:35:26
But to go back and my my partner who's been with me through everything and and has grown with me
00:35:32
through everything to go back and like see her face to face. Yeah. I just keep apologizing and it'll
00:35:42
never happen again. >> If I'm a fly on the wall during that conversation when you get home, what do
00:35:48
I observe? me telling her it'll never happen, never happen again, and her telling me it can't happen again,
00:36:01
you know. Um, yeah, man. Telling her that I'm going to focus on myself and and be better from this. I
00:36:14
know it sucks right now in the moment, but this decision, this arrest, this quit drinking for the rest of my life,
00:36:23
it's going to benefit me and my kids in the future. So, things happen, you learn. Um, and that's just what it is.
00:36:30
You know, >> you met uh Jolie when you were 14 years old. >> Younger. >> Younger. Really?
00:36:37
>> Yeah. 14 is is like a freshman in high school. >> Mhm. We were dating uh in middle school
00:36:46
>> and in many respects she's really um she sacrificed quite a lot for your a loter.
00:36:50
>> A lot. She dropped out of college and moved me to South Florida uh for me to chase my dreams.
00:36:59
>> Cuz she was going to nursing school, wasn't she? >> Yeah. Yeah. And I honestly don't think I would have
00:37:06
made it to the point I made it to in in fighting if I didn't have an anchor like
00:37:10
that at home. You know, man, she been my best friend for a long time. Yeah. sort of go home after getting
00:37:30
arrested and speaking to her and like not only did I let myself down, but I have a family, you know, I have kids. Uh
00:37:40
I let my family down, man. That's what hurts. >> This is another beautiful photo.
00:37:45
>> Yeah, >> the gang. >> That's them. Yeah, man. I let them down. Let myself down. But like I said,
00:37:55
I'm going to learn from this and continue pushing forward and it will never happen again. Um, it's going to
00:38:01
affect the trajectory of my whole life. This one this one arrest, you know. My my son and my daughter is never going to
00:38:09
grow up and see me intoxicated. They're never going to see me say things or do things I don't mean to do or mean to
00:38:15
say, you know. So, like I said, it sucks, man. It's it's bad. Um, but it's going to benefit me and my family in the
00:38:23
long run. So, it's just something that had to happen, I guess. >> So, she did she know what had happened
00:38:28
before you got back from jail. >> Had she seen videos or >> No, no, no, no, >> she hadn't.
00:38:34
>> No. Well, the police officer called her >> when I was in the in the holding cell
00:38:39
and stuff. So, yeah, she knew what was going on. She didn't know in the moment if she probably knew a couple hours
00:38:45
after, you know, once they booked me and all that. I've got 60 seconds and I'm going to
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>> It's $365 for a yearly membership. Go to functionhealth.com/doac and use the code DOAC25
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for $25 off your membership. What's interesting is um you know we've seen these kind of
00:40:58
incidents happen before but I've I've never seen such a large amount of people understand you would expect the reaction
00:41:07
to be from the general public from fighters from people at large to be oh my god this is a bad person but I think
00:41:13
because you've conducted yourself in a certain way throughout your career that wasn't the sentiment
00:41:17
>> I'm not seeing what people are saying >> it wasn't the sentiment I can tell you
00:41:20
it was it was crazy I was like I was saying it to my fiance I was saying Like the reason why the sentiment has been
00:41:27
he's going through some things and this is a good man is because a you've conducted yourself so well throughout
00:41:33
your career. You've had good values in victory and in and in loss. But also I think because you've actually spoken
00:41:40
about some of these struggles publicly. >> I've never bit my tongue. I've always
00:41:43
been open, you know, about what I'm going through. When I was able to pinpoint and talk about what I was going
00:41:49
through when I didn't know, I couldn't speak on it. But as I got older and started doing therapy, I'm able to speak
00:41:54
on it. And >> yeah, I am going through things at some some days, you know. >> Um,
00:42:01
>> well, that's what I'd say to you is, you know, you've not looked at the internet,
00:42:04
but the internet has been heavily supportive of you. >> And, you know, my I think a lot of that
00:42:10
probably is longtime fight fans and people who've been following my career a long time. You know, I grew up in
00:42:14
fighting, so people got to watch me from a kid, you know, grow up. So they they know my character
00:42:21
for the most part. It was a bad day. It wasn't, you know, it's not a bad life. I
00:42:25
had I I messed up. I had a really bad day >> where I was angry at the world and obviously alcohol doesn't doesn't help
00:42:31
that. And uh I really messed up. But people have seen me year after year and I I mean well and I really mean it and I
00:42:39
think they they know it's authentic and >> but I am just a human being and I make
00:42:44
mistakes. So, I think those fans, if people are sticking up for me, it's because they they know it's Dustin.
00:42:49
Like, I'm going to he's going to shake back or he's going to, you know, turn this into a positive somehow. And that's
00:42:55
my goal, you know. I don't want to let anybody else out there down. I'm trying my best. You know, I I have to take care
00:42:59
of myself first. And I'm doing that the right steps. And that's that's just it. I think the people who are standing up
00:43:06
for me have watched me grow up, you know. Well, dare I say, I think that was the
00:43:12
majority of the sentiment was that this is a good a good man who's who's struggling and it was people sending
00:43:18
sympathy because because of that, but also because there's a couple of clips that went viral online of you speaking
00:43:25
on both Theon's show and Joe Rogan's show. And so, in the in the in the wake of, you know, this clip going viral of
00:43:32
you in the airport, these other clips go viral with them, which is >> Oh, you haven't seen it? Okay. Okay. I
00:43:37
mean, obviously I did the I did the interviews or whatever you're talking about, so I said it. So, I'm sure if you
00:43:41
showed it, I would remember, but I haven't seen what people are talking about. >> Well, this clip went viral at the same
00:43:45
time. And this is what gave it context. >> Have to. Yeah. >> You just There's no If you get
00:43:52
complacent or if you Why >> I'm like a It's honestly, bro, I'm a danger to myself when I'm have nothing.
00:43:58
No goal circled on my calendar. I'm a danger to myself, man. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I beat I beat myself up mentally.
00:44:03
I I'm home. I drink. I'm It's just not good. I have to have some kind of battle.
00:44:08
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> H And I've always been like that. But like as I'm getting older, I'm kind of
00:44:12
recognizing >> Oh, you can see it more. >> Yeah. So, I kind of set set goals. So, I
00:44:16
>> So, that clip went viral and there was a a clip just like it um of you on Dur
00:44:21
Rogan, which is you saying almost identically the same thing >> which also went viral with it.
00:44:27
>> So, this gave everybody context. >> And so, you see that and you go, "Okay, we understand." And I think we're now,
00:44:32
you know, we're old enough, mature enough to understand that once a pro alete leaves the high octane, high
00:44:38
adrenaline sport like UFC that your brain has changed >> for sure. >> And not least because of the dopamine,
00:44:46
but also, you know, there's other reasons why there's there's head injuries are quite prevalent in the
00:44:52
sport. So there was a huge amount of sympathy. I just wanted you to know that cuz I know you've not seen it but
00:44:55
>> but I mean I still feel horrible but it you know and not even using fighting or
00:45:01
head trauma or my homeless father or any of that stuff as an excuse. I just want
00:45:06
to say that like I did these things. I know better. I know right and wrong. I don't want to lean on these as a crutch
00:45:13
of of my actions. You know what I mean? And the other the other clip that went, just so you know, just so because these
00:45:21
this is you and Joe Rogan talking about similar thing. >> Want to show what I was talking about.
00:45:25
It's like a gift and a curse, man. It's like you have to be all in at something.
00:45:28
Those kind of people who are built like that. >> Whether it's fighting or drinking or
00:45:34
whether it's good or bad, you're going all in. It's dangerous. >> The problem. Yeah. The problem is like
00:45:39
what you see with Connor, when they don't have the fighting, then they go all in with the other things.
00:45:44
>> Yeah. Yeah. >> Right. Fighting was always for me always pulled everything together, you know.
00:45:48
>> That's why like retiring is scary, man. Days are long. I have a lot of time. It's I don't have to get ready for a
00:45:54
fight. I don't, you know, >> you're still a young man, too. You still have a whole lot of life ahead of you.
00:45:58
I'm >> 37, man. >> Yeah. So, it makes you think like, what do I do now? What do I do with my
00:46:02
future? What do I do? What do you want to do? >> Dude, I kind of got like for a week or
00:46:06
so, I would say depressed, but I kind of got into like a funk like what the hell
00:46:09
am I going to do with my life? Every day I would wake up for the last 20 years, how can I be better fighter? How can I
00:46:14
what's new in fitness? How can I push myself? I want to be the champion. And then boom, you lay the gloves down and
00:46:19
you wake up and you're a [ __ ] civilian. >> And that's meant that you, you know,
00:46:23
some of your your fellow fellow peers like Jon Jones have come out and said some really nice things and other
00:46:27
fighters have come out and said some really nice things and sent their support and, you know, well wishes.
00:46:32
>> I appreciate it. I'm I'm working on myself. I'm trying my best. >> Were you aware that John Jones had had
00:46:37
done a post and stuff? My buddy Kyle said, the guy who I work out with every day I was talking about, he told me that
00:46:43
Jon Jones came out and said something and it was positive. >> He said, uh, Matt Brown as well, a
00:46:50
former fighter did a video. He said it was really nice and stuff. And I'm sure I'll see some of that stuff. I don't
00:46:55
want to like you relive the moment that much. I don't want to keep like diving back, but when I do get back on social
00:47:01
media or do start watching videos and stuff again, I'm sure I'm going to see some of it, you know? you know, and I
00:47:05
appreciate everybody, but I'm I just it feels weird to, you know, I'm I'm not looking for for that for sympathy or for
00:47:17
to make this okay. It's not okay, you know. >> You know, it's not. But I I think the
00:47:23
reason I'm sort of really keen to tell you is once upon a time we didn't really understand mental health and so people
00:47:31
were thought to be crazy or whatever when they acted out of character but I think the world has gotten to such a
00:47:37
place now where we we think about context a bit more >> and this was really it was really nice
00:47:41
to see for me um having done a little bit of background research as well to see that people's first reaction wasn't
00:47:48
just to villainize somebody it was to understand people actually went, "Oh, no. This is someone struggling with
00:47:54
their mental health. It's not a bad person. It's a bad mental health situation." Um, which I've actually not
00:48:02
really seen before, which was, as I say, it was really nice. But I know you I know what you're saying. You're saying
00:48:06
you don't want to blame anything, right? I don't want to blame anything or have a
00:48:10
crutch to lean on about my actions, about what happened. You know, I did it. you know, I'm not not blaming it on
00:48:16
mental health or anything like that, even though I'm focusing on that now. You know, I I did I
00:48:24
did that. I decided to drink that day when I wasn't feeling well. It's it's all on me.
00:48:28
>> So, is it kind of a bit of a roller coaster in your world post fighting in terms of your mental health? Is it ups
00:48:35
and downs and ups and downs? >> Yeah, big time. >> And what is the >> Some days I wake up and I feel like I
00:48:41
made the right decision, you know? Uh, I need to be home. I need to be doing things around the house. I need to be
00:48:49
here every day with my kids making the breakfast. And then some days I wake up and I'm like, "What the [ __ ] am I doing?
00:48:55
I can beat all these guys still, you know? I can still beat these guys, but I don't know if that ever leaves. I might
00:49:00
be 60-year-old having coffee one day saying the same thing. I can beat these guys. I don't know if that's just a
00:49:06
competitive spirit. I don't know if that's just fighting your whole life. I don't I don't know. But I these top guys
00:49:11
that are winning now and and fighting now on these upcoming cards, I can I can beat them still.
00:49:19
I know I can. And then I wake up the next day and I'm like, "Ah, good thing I don't have to fight these guys anymore."
00:49:26
Then the next day it's like, I can I can be the world champion. You know, it's it's just up and down every day.
00:49:35
And how does your your mental health sort of correlate to those ups and those um thoughts?
00:49:40
>> Even though I have those days where I want to fight and think I made the right
00:49:44
decision, my mental health has been pretty even. You know, up until recently, I I haven't been worried about
00:49:51
myself or having to go to my journal and sit in the morning and have coffee like I've been doing
00:49:56
this last week, you know. But I when I do start feeling 100% normal, okay again, I need to continue to do those
00:50:05
things, you know? I can't I can't stop because I feel good. It's it's a constant. It something's going on with
00:50:13
my brain. Like I have to practice these these things every day. And now being removed from the incident, removed from
00:50:21
my three years ago when I felt really bad and I was in the dark place, I'm realizing that like it's it's not a
00:50:28
Eureka moment where you're fixed. You got to this is everyday work for the rest of your life most likely. I'm
00:50:33
pretty sure. >> Was it just the last week or was it you said in recent times? >> In recent times that was like the
00:50:41
the boiling point on Father's Day. Um, but there's been days. Yeah. There's been days where I've not expressed to my
00:50:48
wife how I'm feeling and I was feeling down or >> the last two months. >> Couple few months. Yeah. There's good
00:50:54
days, bad days, you know, >> where you haven't expressed to your wife how you're feeling.
00:50:59
>> Yeah. Some days I will tell her, but some days I I don't, you know, I just continue to go along my day and, you
00:51:06
know, so I don't want to be that guy to where I wake up and my wife's worried about how I'm feeling that day. wake,
00:51:13
you know, I don't want her worrying about me like that. I wonder who who's waking up today is is depressed is upset
00:51:19
Dustin waking up today or is this my normal husband I'm waking up to? I don't want to worry her. So some days, you
00:51:25
know, if I'm feeling really bad, which hasn't been that often lately, I'll tell her I'm, you know, today I'm not feeling
00:51:31
that well. I don't want my daughter coming in the in the bedroom, you know, why is that staying in bed all day? You
00:51:37
know, I don't want to tell her again that I'm not feeling good today. You know, she doesn't understand. and I have
00:51:41
a she's about to be 10 years old. She she can't comprehend what's going on. I can barely comprehend it, you know. So,
00:51:50
to keep them more on a steady day-to-day thing, if if it's just slightly I'm kind
00:51:56
of feeling a little bit off today, I just suck it up and go about, you know, my business.
00:52:02
>> But there will be days where you you stay in bed all day. >> There has been. Yeah.
00:52:07
And you try and sort of avoid the conversation with like your daughter. >> Yeah.
00:52:13
>> It's not It's not often, but it happens. Yeah. >> Do you find that if you don't talk about
00:52:17
it, it kind of comes out in other ways? Cuz I >> Well, you battle it up so long until it
00:52:21
finds a way out, you know? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Which kind of brings us to the airport
00:52:26
incident, I guess. >> Could could be >> to some degree, >> right? But even the airport incident,
00:52:30
those days leading up, even if I did have an off day, uh I didn't feel like it was that that bad, that serious, that
00:52:39
dangerous to myself or anybody else, you know? I really didn't feel like that. >> It's an interesting thing. I've I've
00:52:47
often actually contended with when I'm having like bad moments, do I tell my partner so I can really relate to the
00:52:52
feeling? Cuz in part, I think as a as a man sometimes you want to be you have it
00:52:57
within you that you need to be strong and steady. Especially with like my fiance, I'm like I have to be strong and
00:53:02
steady. So if I'm having a bad day or whatever, I I feel like I have to keep it to myself. But then it always finds a
00:53:08
way out and it hurts her like it will hurt the relationship. >> So actually I think with with age I've
00:53:13
gone actually to avoid all problems be honest as fast as you can. >> Right. Yeah. Honesty is always the best.
00:53:21
>> It's always the best. Is that kind of how you feel as well with it or is it a
00:53:24
similar? I mean, >> for the most part, I I am really open and honest, but like if I'm just kind of
00:53:30
feeling off and it's for me to I know you don't understand what that what that means or maybe you have something you
00:53:36
can link it to when you feel kind of just like today's not >> not my day. If I'm feeling off, I'll let
00:53:40
her know. I've been pretty honest. But like I said, if it's just slight like I'm just not feeling right, I won't if
00:53:47
it's slight, I won't I won't even bring it up. I got to be a dad and continue to
00:53:51
do things every day and stuff like that. But if I'm feeling really down to where
00:53:55
I don't even want to leave the house at all and stuff, you know, I'll let my wife know.
00:53:59
>> On this point of purpose, when you were talking to Thea and Joe, it was you were
00:54:03
saying that, you know, the purpose you had for 20 years has now gone. So in its place, you kind of need to find
00:54:08
something else. You need to figure out what what's in its place. How are you thinking about that today?
00:54:13
>> I retired at 36 years old. That's young to, you know, like I said, the days are
00:54:18
long. I have all day every day to I need to stay busy and that's what I have been
00:54:24
doing, you know, working with CBS, working with uh the podcast we have down in South Florida every Monday. I've just
00:54:30
been trying to saying yes to as much stuff as I can. So, I'm don't have time to sit back and think. And that could
00:54:35
have been my demise as well. Maybe I was being too busy. Maybe I wasn't focusing
00:54:38
on my mental health and myself as much. You know, it's easy to get lost in these
00:54:42
whirlwinds of busy and be here, be there. You know, life just moves so fast sometimes.
00:54:48
Do you have a plan for for for what you want to commit yourself to? You're 37 now, right?
00:54:53
>> So, I mean, you got another 50 50 years ahead of you to to climb other mountains
00:54:59
potentially, >> right? No, I don't have anything locked like locked down what I'm going to do
00:55:03
exactly what I'm going to focus everything on, but I need to find something, man.
00:55:07
>> Has there ever been anything that compared? >> No, nothing ever will nothing. I have a
00:55:12
void inside of me that nothing will, you know, being a father is very fulfilling
00:55:17
and and I love it and it it's it's rewarding and I actually enjoy it, but nothing fills that void of what fighting
00:55:26
was in my life. You know, I haven't found anything yet. I don't think there is. >> You don't think there is? I just don't
00:55:34
know what's going to consume me and take all of myself the way fighting did. You
00:55:41
know, I woke up thinking about it. I went to sleep thinking about it. I It was my life, man.
00:55:52
I cared so much about it, man. I was in love with it. >> You can still play a role in the
00:55:57
industry though. No. >> Yeah. And that's what And that's what I thought I was, you know, was a good
00:56:01
avenue. That's what I was trying to do. That was my goal after fighting is I want to stick around the sport
00:56:08
whether I'm on the desk broadcast or with the podcast. Anything pertaining to the sport where I can talk about it, you
00:56:14
know, be around the sport that's given me everything I have and taught me so many lessons in life. I I just want to
00:56:20
be around it speaking about it, be on the mats, helping younger fighters, whatever, you know, and I was doing and
00:56:25
I was doing that when I retired, you know. >> I'm still doing it. >> But it's not the It's not the same.
00:56:33
>> No. >> How does it compare as a percentage? Is it 20% the way there, 50% the way there?
00:56:39
Or >> probably closer to 20. It's not It's not even 50. No. >> Have you spoken to other fighters who
00:56:46
have expressed the exact same sentiment that like fighting was the the Mount Everest for me and I don't know what to
00:56:52
do next? >> Not really to that to that exact point, but other fighters have reached out and
00:56:58
said, "Hey, you know, I'm I'm all ears if you ever want to talk about it." But I went through it as well. You know,
00:57:02
laying the gloves down isn't as easy as you think. You know, people who I look up to you have reached out to me and and
00:57:07
uh I never took anybody up on it. You know, I've never started speaking to other fighters about what they do to get
00:57:12
past and I should, you know, it's all it's my my doing, you know, >> cuz it's not it's not a new problem, is
00:57:18
it? >> No, this is >> everyone but lots of people have expressed, >> right? And it's not just a new problem
00:57:23
with fighting. It's a new problem, I think, with a lot of athletes, you know, who've done it for a long time and
00:57:27
reached the pinnacle. and you know when it's over you know you have a lot of life left to
00:57:33
live. >> I've heard similar sentiments expressed from some of my friends that were in the
00:57:37
military and then left the military 36 37 years old and it's like that was their Everest that was also the
00:57:44
camaraderie that they had being in camp and uh being in in on base and stuff like that and going away being deployed
00:57:49
and then they come back and they're a civilian all of a sudden. Right. >> It's difficult.
00:57:55
>> Yeah, man. But that's life. Life's difficult you know. just got to figure something else out, you
00:58:01
know, got to figure solve a new puzzle. It's just life keeps going. >> You were going off to work when you were
00:58:07
caught up in this airport incident. >> Yeah. >> How are you thinking about work prospects and stuff like that
00:58:12
considering all that swirling around at the moment and all these things? >> Worried about losing everything I've
00:58:17
been working on, you know, that is a possibility as well, you know. um like post fighting when I retired, all
00:58:29
the stuff that I've been doing, all the the desk work that me focusing on getting better at all that stuff. I'm
00:58:35
like, did I just ruin everything that I that I was working for, you know? I don't know yet.
00:58:40
It's still too too early to really have those answers, I think. >> Have you got like sponsors and stuff
00:58:45
like that, or is it just your partners where you do guest work and podcasts and stuff like that?
00:58:49
>> No, I have a bunch of sponsors. >> Yeah. and they've been understanding. >> It's kind of murky right now. I think
00:58:55
it's still too fresh. I know uh one big one isn't a sponsor anymore. >> Oh, you lost a sponsor.
00:59:01
>> Oh, yeah. I'm I'm sure I lost a few. I'm waiting to see when the smoke clears
00:59:06
who's still with me or not. That day cost me not only embarrassment and embarrassment to my family, uh it cost
00:59:14
me a lot of money, too. you know, I'm I'm losing sponsors. I'm losing gigs and losing things that I had set up. You
00:59:21
know, >> you're losing gigs you had set up in the future as well. >> Well, we'll see.
00:59:27
Obviously, the gigs, the three things I was supposed to do that that week are are gone. And then a big sponsor of
00:59:35
mine is gone because of it. >> And of the um of the comm the professional commitments you have coming
00:59:42
up, what are those kinds of things that you have? I know you um you said in an interview that I watched that you'd
00:59:46
reached out to was it Paramount? >> Oh, I worked with Paramount. >> Yeah, work with them. But you'd reached
00:59:52
out to them to say, "Listen, I want to sharpen my skills >> as a commentator, >> as a desk analyst."
00:59:57
>> Des desk analyst. And so you'd reached out to them post, you know, postretirement because you wanted to get
01:00:03
more and more into that. I just thought it was really cool that you proactively reached out to them and said, "Listen,
01:00:07
I'm here." >> Yeah. If you guys think that I would be a good fit anywhere on a broadcast or
01:00:12
anything, I would love to talk about fighting and talk about this sport as it continues to grow with what
01:00:18
I've learned through the two decades of doing it. You know, if I can be a voice in this area, please let me do it. And
01:00:26
and they did, you know, and I told them like, I'm coachable. I don't have no hard feelings. Like, if I'm doing
01:00:31
something wrong, please let me know. I'm very, you know, because a lot of these other people who work the desk come from
01:00:36
a media background or things like that. Of course, we have a lot of fighters, but who work the desk, but a lot of
01:00:41
these other people might not take criticism and coaching as well as somebody who's been coached their whole
01:00:46
life. So, I'm letting them know like if if there's something I'm doing that is not the right etiquette, it's not if I
01:00:52
if I can do something better, please let me know. Coach me. I'm not it's no judgment. You're never going to rub me
01:00:57
the wrong way. Please let me know. I want to be good at this. That's what I was trying to let them know.
01:01:01
>> Well, it's cool. It's cool because a lot of people, they they come in with a lot
01:01:04
of ego. um especially if they've been at the the the peak of their powers in one
01:01:08
profession. >> Yeah. >> They kind of don't want to humble themselves enough to be
01:01:11
>> a whole new thing for me. You know, >> talking on TV and talking about fights
01:01:15
and and things like that is a whole new thing. So, I wanted to learn as much as I can.
01:01:19
>> And you have a contract with them? >> Yeah, I did. We'll see. >> Oh, you're worried that it might not be.
01:01:25
>> It could be. Yeah. >> I guess when something like >> I had a year contract with with
01:01:30
Paramount CBS to work the the desks for the fights. Okay. Well, I hope they all stick with you.
01:01:37
>> We'll see. I think on the in a few weeks I'm back on the podcast. So, I know they're bringing me back to the Monday
01:01:42
podcast. We talk about fights every Monday. In two weeks, I'll be back on that. And so, we'll see if that
01:01:48
continues. You know, >> you you know, the other thing is you are you are young. You're 37. I'm 33. And uh
01:01:54
>> you're young. >> Yeah. Yeah. That's how I can I can almost relate would be like if my career
01:01:59
was was wrapping up in a couple of years. Like my main, you know, but I'm in the I guess my career is business. So
01:02:06
I can kind of do that forever. >> Well, for sure. >> But if I if I had to if I'd spent the
01:02:10
last 20 years of my life I've spent the last 15 years of my life building businesses. So if I wrapped up in a
01:02:14
couple years time and I had to change profession and I couldn't do what I've done for the last 20 years anymore.
01:02:21
>> Gosh, that's what athletes go through >> for sure. They climb the mountain and
01:02:26
then aging happens and they get older like we all do and then they have to say, "Right, brand new mountain." That
01:02:31
doesn't happen to most people in most care. You kind of just keep climbing. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:02:34
>> True. I never thought about it comparing it to other other uh careers. >> Do you enjoy the the desk work?
01:02:40
>> I really do, man. >> Yeah. >> That's why I'm scared to lose it, too, cuz I I really enjoy being connected to
01:02:44
the sport. You know, this sport has, like I said, given me everything I have. Me and my family, everything we have is
01:02:50
through fighting. Just like Jon Jones, where marginal improvements in your cognitive
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Head to the link in the description below. >> And this is obviously a bit of a personal question, but it gives useful
01:04:42
context. Is at 37 years old, you're thinking as a man, you know, I've got to provide for my family for for the next
01:04:48
30 40 years potentially. Are you are you set up sufficiently? Cuz there's a lot of talk around fighters not getting paid
01:04:53
that much in the UFC as well. >> I mean, uh the career I've had >> Yeah. >> I don't have to work another day of my
01:05:00
life. >> Really? >> Yeah. >> Oh, congratulations. Well done. Because a lot of people also they go out and
01:05:04
they, you know, we hear the stories of buying a little too many watches or gambling or whatever it might be.
01:05:10
>> I need to stop gambling. That's what I need. I told my wife the other day, she
01:05:14
was like, >> she's like, I just paid some bills. I saw you made another deposit to the
01:05:19
gambling thing. I was like, I can't cold turkey everything. Give me one. Let's go
01:05:23
one thing at a time. One thing, gambling's a couple steps up on the list. I got some other things I need to
01:05:28
stop doing first. Well, if you can take care of yourself the rest of your life, then you know, all good, right? To to
01:05:34
have fun still, >> right? Right. Yeah. >> So, a lot of a lot of pe a lot of fighters, a lot of people generally
01:05:39
can't say that when they leave. >> But I've always, you know, I have a few businesses in in Louisiana and
01:05:45
elsewhere. I've always planted seeds my whole my whole life, you know. I started
01:05:48
investing when I was 23 years old, you know, before I was even making real real money. I was investing what little I
01:05:54
had. I always planted these seeds cuz I I knew I couldn't fight forever. it was going to end any any, you know, I could
01:06:01
have get in a car accident and never fight again. It could end any day with fighting. I knew that. So, I've always
01:06:06
planted seeds to try to have my future taken care of, you know, always since a young age.
01:06:14
>> Smile. >> Actually, when I was like 18, 19, I told my wife, I'm not I'm not going to fight
01:06:18
past 35 years old. And I almost hit that mark. I was too young to at the time when I told her that,
01:06:24
>> too young to see the, you know, full picture and know how my career was going
01:06:27
to play out. what 36 I I hung it up. But I told her from a very young age, 35, I
01:06:34
lived half my life and I have a whole another life to live. At 35, I can go to college. I can go I can do do be
01:06:39
whatever I want to be. I have a whole another life to live. So I kind of always angled at 35
01:06:46
to pivot. >> And that was the moment. >> Yeah, man. >> That's the moment where you were tired.
01:06:52
>> Oh, yeah. >> How does it feel looking at that photo, >> man? And these are my brothers in this
01:06:57
picture, man. >> I can see the emotion in your faces. >> Yeah, my mother's back there. And I
01:07:03
mean, this is my family. You know, all these guys are my family members. It a special day.
01:07:15
And I got to do it in Louisiana. You know, it meant a lot to me. It really meant a lot to me.
01:07:22
Well, Yeah, man. I was just a kid chasing dreams and it just flew by so quick. And I I guess that's a part of me that's
01:07:36
I scared for the future is. I don't I don't know, you know, for 20 years I was dreaming
01:07:43
about being the best. I just want to dream again, you know. I don't know what that dream will be. I just need that in
01:07:49
my life, whatever that is. Yeah, special day, man. >> So many emotions in your face as you
01:08:06
look at that photo. >> Yeah, I'm trying not to tear up, dude. >> How come? >> Because it just makes me feel that way,
01:08:11
you know, cuz I still love it. But I know I need to walk away from it, you know, continue
01:08:21
walking away from it. But I still love it. And like I told you, it's like a piece of me.
01:08:28
Like those gloves, me putting them on the mat is a piece of myself I left, you know? I I really truly believe that.
01:08:52
You know, I was a kid when I started this the fight life. You know, it it taught me how to be a
01:09:02
man. It taught me how to do business. It taught me a lot of things about myself.
01:09:10
I didn't go to school. Fighting was my my education, you know. traveled the world and met people and
01:09:18
sat at tables I would have never dreamed of be you know sitting at and through fighting uh it was just incredible
01:09:25
journey you know uh but if I can go back in time to when I was a kid 16 17 if I could do
01:09:34
it again I would do it again even knowing everything that what could be what damage I could take I would do it
01:09:41
again that's how fun the ride But nobody rides for free, you know. That's why I'm saying I would do it
01:09:53
again. The the damage, the ups and downs, the unknown, nobody rides for free. Whether you're working clocking in
01:10:01
at a job, working in an office for the your whole life, you know, or you're fighting men all over the world, uh
01:10:10
we're exchanging something, you know, for something. So, I would do it again. I'm just glad I got to do it here in
01:10:24
Louisiana. You know, where it all started. You know, that was special to me >> because UFC doesn't come here often to
01:10:35
Louisiana. The time that came before my retirement was back in 2015 and I fought on that on
01:10:42
that one as well. To get him to come back here just for my retirement was a big deal.
01:10:50
And I'm proud of that. I'm proud of bringing it back to the city. you know. >> Mhm.
01:10:55
>> I have a game room at my house and I have this the UFC actually sent me a retirement p big picture frame with uh
01:11:03
my wife, my daughter, their name was on the canvas for this fight and I didn't even know
01:11:09
>> the UFC printed their names on the on the canvas of the octagon. >> So, they cut them out of the thing and
01:11:14
they have them framed in a in a nice uh shadow box with pictures from the fight and their names and stuff. That was that
01:11:20
was really nice, man. And so I have this picture hanging on my wall in my game room in my house.
01:11:26
I got actually I need to call Mike. This guy here and this Mike Brown. I need to
01:11:30
call him back. He tried to call me and he's been texting me the last few days. I need to call him back. Let him know
01:11:34
I'm good, you know. >> Mhm. >> I've been silencing every call, you know, not just want to talk to people
01:11:44
since Father's Day, but I need to start I need to reach back out. There's a lot in your head, isn't there?
01:11:51
That photo seems to have teleported you back, you know. >> I'm just thinking thinking about that
01:11:56
night thinking about the guys in the picture, seeing my mom in the background, you
01:12:01
know, my friends. It was just incredible night. And it hurts me a little bit like to to
01:12:11
be sitting here talking about getting arrested last week. Like it feels like such a fall from grace, you know,
01:12:15
looking at this picture like I was on top of the world. In this moment, I felt like I did it all the right way,
01:12:22
you know, even had the UFC uh place in IRA. I did it my way when I was walking out the
01:12:30
octagon that that night. And uh you know, just it's life. That's life. >> That's life.
01:12:45
It's life. is part of the um part of the hero's journey is the the ups, the downs, the redemptions, the all of it
01:12:51
and everything you teach. You know, it's funny cuz when I think about your earliest context, it was in my object
01:12:56
subjective view difficult. It was a real challenge. You got a father that's an alcoholic, the violence in the home,
01:13:02
growing up in a you know, in a workingass area and you rose from there and look what happened.
01:13:09
>> Yeah, it was beautiful. >> And then look at >> I'm proud of it. And then the roller
01:13:12
coasters go down too. And that's why they they're so good when they go the opposite way and such. And
01:13:17
>> and so this is just an for me this is maybe just the platform of your next era,
01:13:22
>> you know, >> for sure. Whatever that is, I'm I'm here for it. But man, I'm just learning and
01:13:27
living, you know, and trying my best just like everyone else. It's incredible though what you've
01:13:34
proven that you can do, you know, from >> I I honestly no BS look you in the eyes like I feel
01:13:43
like anything I set my mind to I can I can accomplish. I can make it happen. >> Look what you've done that.
01:13:49
>> Yeah. >> You don't need to look me in the eyes and no BS me. You've you've done
01:13:52
something that you know very few men could ever ever accomplish, especially considering where you came
01:13:59
from. So, I think I am quite excited to see what you set your mind to next because if that's what you're able to
01:14:04
accomplish by 35 years old or something, God only knows what you could do with the next two decades of your life if you
01:14:11
aimed all that energy at a equally terrifying goal. >> I would love to. That's what I need.
01:14:16
Something terrifying. I need something like that. Something that >> I can't stop thinking about.
01:14:22
>> Mhm. >> You know, >> and you've got the mentality that few have, right? like to have accomplished
01:14:28
this, you've got something the core components to be a wildly successful as you say with whatever you put your mind
01:14:35
to. So, >> well, I'm not scared to work for it, >> you know. >> At this moment in this photo, were your
01:14:40
family encouraging you to hang up the gloves? >> My wife was. >> Yeah. >> Nobody else in my family. No.
01:14:46
>> How come? >> She was pregnant. She was uh a couple months away from giving a few months
01:14:52
away from giving birth to my son. Um I had been doing it for a long time. we just kind of both knew it was about
01:15:01
the time, you know. >> You said you were scared because of the the void of purpose that would be in
01:15:06
your life um thereafter, but I've also heard you say you're scared of like the the brain injuries that fighters often
01:15:12
get in the wake of any sort of contact sport. >> I had the the great privilege um of
01:15:19
interviewing arguably the world's leader on CTE. Mhm. >> And for people that don't know, um, CTE
01:15:26
is a progressive brain disease caused by repeated head trauma leading to abnormal
01:15:30
protein builds up which lead to brain decline. Older adults with a history of traumatic brain injuries have a 230%
01:15:36
greater risk of developing um, Alzheimer's than those without. Um, and 61% of UFC fighters stated they worry
01:15:42
about potential long-term brain damage with with a good percentage about 21% noticing differences in their brain
01:15:49
function after their fighting career. And lastly, a 2023 study found that more than 40% of brains from contact sport
01:15:55
players who died before the age of 30 had CTE. I I I think I heard you say that you
01:16:02
were concerned about brain damage or brain trauma from from fighting. >> Yeah. Part of me laying the gloves down,
01:16:09
like I said, for my wife wanting me to was because she was kind of worried about my behavior a few years
01:16:17
back and I I went to a neurologist and did a scan with contrast where they put the die in your brain in your veins and
01:16:23
do all that stuff and I have I had some uh you know changes in my brain but we don't have a passport of
01:16:32
>> before >> or throughout the process you know we just have a a snapshot of right now of
01:16:37
my brain But yeah, the doctor, the neurologist told me that, you know, it has to be posorous. You can't, you put a
01:16:43
chemical on the brain, it releases a protein. You know, if you So, we won't know until I pass away. And
01:16:49
they study my brain if I if I have it or not. But the doctor was telling me like, you
01:16:55
know, looking at the things you have going on, like I can't say you have it, but
01:17:00
>> your wife was noticing different behavior. >> Yeah. just like emotional and >> it's it's not a conversation people have
01:17:10
a lot about CTU. I actually I only learned about it about a year ago when I interviewed this person and I couldn't
01:17:15
believe it. >> I couldn't believe that um athletes that are doing contact sports, kids that are
01:17:19
doing American football >> are um >> and not only fighting, I played football all my youth, you know, as well.
01:17:28
>> So, I'm sure my head's been rattled a good bit. I have a brain scan here which
01:17:33
is really for the listeners at home to show them what what advanced CTE looks like on the brain but it is these kind
01:17:38
of like plaques that kind of build up in the brain from contact head injuries and
01:17:42
what the symptoms of that are often mental health disorders. They are um and there's a spectrum addictions also sort
01:17:47
of associated with CTE. People sometimes see boxes for example slurring their words and such and that's also within
01:17:54
the sort of so same family and category of CTE. >> Yeah. But but but as you say, it's not
01:17:59
something you know when you're alive and they have to post obviously look at your
01:18:02
brain and check if you h if you have it. And what did the neurologist say that it
01:18:06
was a little bit abnormal? >> I have uh scarring and stuff. Uh I'd have to pull out my phone and find the
01:18:13
exact terminology for the parts of the brain. I don't know. You know, I have a thinning in the back of my brain
01:18:19
>> at at whatever part. And I have a you have a septum in your brain like your nose.
01:18:23
>> Yeah. And um my se septum is is splitting a separated a good bit and that the neurologist thinks my left and
01:18:31
right side aren't communicating as smoothly as they should because of the separation
01:18:37
>> and they suspect that that's to do with head trauma. >> I mean we don't we don't know.
01:18:42
>> Do you feel different? And it's a strange question to ask, but have you noticed any difference in in your
01:18:47
yourself other than, you know, the differences one would experience when they left a job that was that
01:18:52
significant? >> No. Uh, besides like ups and downs with mood and stuff like that, that's one of
01:18:59
the the things I kind of notice. Uh, and all being honest, like spontaneous decisions, I I notice like if I'm like,
01:19:09
"Fuck it. I'll just put $5,000 on this bet right now." like just I wouldn't normally do that. I I feel like but
01:19:15
maybe it's just who I am now. I don't know. Or saying [ __ ] it, I'm going to get drunk as I can right now in the
01:19:22
airport just you know I feel like that is like spontaneous decision- making. >> Uh that I wouldn't normally do, I think.
01:19:31
But maybe I would. I don't know. >> If we're talking about brain trauma and like decisions I made or ways I feel,
01:19:37
I'm sure I can draw links to all kinds of stuff. you know, I don't even know if it would make sense or would would be
01:19:44
correct. You know, when you're scrambling for answers, it's easy to like draw lines and say, "Well, this is
01:19:49
because of that. This is because of that." You know, I feel I feel normal besides ups and down days and stuff like
01:19:53
that. I feel >> I feel normal. >> Um, so is there any possibility that you ever return to the UFC?
01:20:03
If you had to plot it as a percentage, >> 5%. >> And since you've retired, has that
01:20:12
percentage gone up or down, do you think, progressively? >> Down, I think. >> Down. Okay.
01:20:18
>> Down, I think. Cuz I would have to reinstate. First of all, I'd have to get my wife on board. Then I'm going to do
01:20:26
another training camp and do this again. Uh, but I'd have to reinstate myself in
01:20:29
the drug testing protocol. And I think I'd have to do like 6 months of clean drug testing before I'm eligible to
01:20:34
compete again. >> So that would be another 6 months. You know, it's just a lot of hoops to jump
01:20:39
through. >> Mhm. >> And your father? >> Difficult. Difficult. Extremely difficult. Um layers of emotion. It's
01:20:48
funny, you know, we've all got people in our Well, a lot of people have people in
01:20:51
their lives where they've watched them struggle with addiction. They've tried to help them. They can't make sense of
01:20:56
why they won't accept the help, why they won't change. They know they're doing like I've heard it's such a familiar
01:21:01
story. >> Yeah, man. >> What's the latest with him? >> He was latest with him is two days ago
01:21:09
he was sleeping in his truck uh behind a business. >> And how did you find this out?
01:21:17
>> Oh, you have a >> Dude, when I got uh this is Father's Day week. This is a My sister sent me this.
01:21:27
somebody who she knows. He was parked, my dad was parked at the at the park. Um, somebody snapped a picture of him
01:21:38
getting out of his car. He's He So, he's got his top off. Oh gosh. >> No shoes. >> No shoes.
01:21:57
My sister actually gave him that truck that he's living in. God. >> And we're still working. We're still
01:22:06
working to to get something get him to do something or admit himself do just to help himself, you know.
01:22:17
>> Sorry. I'm so sorry. >> I mean, that's life. But to see your father like that, you know, it's just
01:22:20
like damn, man. Is it alcohol? >> Yeah, >> it's alcohol. >> Yeah. >> Does he he does he do other types of
01:22:27
drugs? >> Never smoked a cigarette in his life. Never smoke >> marijuana. Doesn't take pills. Like just
01:22:34
alcohol. >> We're trying. Me and my sister are trying. His other his other kids don't
01:22:42
want anything to do with him, but me and my sister are trying to get him right. And my wife's super on
01:22:50
board like trying everything to to but if if he doesn't want to help himself, we can only do so much, you know. But
01:22:55
like I said at the beginning, that's not my weight to carry, you know? >> I'm trying my best. I'm a father now,
01:23:01
too. I I got to look out for me and mine. I I can't babysit my father, you know.
01:23:09
It's um it can often drag people down themselves if they try and save someone from themselves.
01:23:18
>> Yeah. Did I almost lost my mind on Father's Day? I'm I'm the guy you're talking about.
01:23:22
>> Yeah, I know it cuz it's I've got a sort of personal story in this regard where I
01:23:25
had to sit with one of my close relatives and um I can see that they were destroying themselves trying to
01:23:30
save someone else. And um they are the only person in this family that I'm talking about that have made that
01:23:37
decision to try and save this person and they are paying the price. >> They are sick. They are upset all the
01:23:42
time. They're like they've got constant despair. Whereas all the other siblings in that family have thought [ __ ] it.
01:23:47
>> Yeah. >> And it and it would appear that they're living more peaceful lives because
01:23:50
they've said [ __ ] it, but because of this person's heart, they are unable to just cut it off and let this person go.
01:23:58
>> Yeah. Is there part of you that's that's worried that someday you're going to get
01:24:01
a call and it's going to say >> I've been waiting for months every day I've been waiting I know me and my wife
01:24:07
talk about this all the time like every time I get a call about my dad from my sister or something I'm like just
01:24:13
waiting for the you know waiting for the news he's not in good health and he's 74
01:24:18
75 years old like no telling if he's eating and I don't know you know every call I was like this
01:24:26
is the What did your mom think about this about your father? >> Uh I mean as of most recently she didn't
01:24:36
know she didn't even know that he was homeless. I I told her recently after all this stuff happened. You know I
01:24:42
explained to her that he's she's just sorry that I have to deal with this and you know
01:24:48
>> she got remarried and then Yeah. >> Yeah. So, what's next? >> Vacation with my family.
01:25:03
>> Where you where you off to? 30. >> Right here in Florida. 38. Go on vacation with my family. Sit in
01:25:09
the sun with my kids and family. Just have a good time, man. Stay off the internet.
01:25:15
>> Mhm. >> Continue to work on myself. >> Have good mornings. >> That's it. Well, you know, I know you're not
01:25:23
looking at the internet, but I just wanted to let you know that the internet's been really kind. There's a
01:25:27
lot of really, really kind. You >> don't hear that too often. So, >> you don't hear that too often.
01:25:30
>> Good to hear. >> That's actually why I wanted to do this interview as well is in part I just
01:25:33
wanted to tell you that, but also I just wanted uh I hoped we could be a bit of a
01:25:38
platform for people understanding the like complicated nature of mental health and purpose and addiction and alcohol
01:25:43
and all these things that through doing this show I've been able to sort of piece together myself. I've probably
01:25:48
interviewed 700 people now. you don't find many new things, >> right? >> One of the most crazy things I've
01:25:53
learned from doing the show is like, "Oh, [ __ ] We're all the same." >> Yeah. >> We all struggle with the same things at
01:25:57
the most fundamental level, you know? So, >> pretty sure, >> you know, and um we're all excited to to
01:26:04
see what it is you put your your great talent and your mentality and your obsession to in the next season of your
01:26:12
career, cuz whatever it is, you know. >> Thank you, man. >> It's going to be incredible.
01:26:16
>> Yeah. I just got to find it and continue doing it and continue working on myself
01:26:20
and >> and please be patient with yourself. >> Yeah, man. Patience is a virtue I I
01:26:23
wasn't blessed with. But I'm working on it. >> I'm working on it every day. Every single day, man.
01:26:32
>> We have a closing tradition where the last guest leaves a question to the next, not knowing who they're leaving it
01:26:36
for. And the question left for you is, "Dear next guest, what are you doing to improve the world?
01:26:50
I'm trying to leave it better than I found it. Better than leave it a better place than I came into with everything I
01:26:56
can, you know. uh for the most part making the right decisions and showing that people do care, trying to
01:27:10
be a good, you know, a person who cares about people and stuff like that. That's
01:27:14
what hurts me too, man, is me doing that. I wasn't I wasn't myself, you know? I know it's easy for me to say
01:27:21
and try to hide behind like a drunkenness or mental breakdown and all. I feel like
01:27:29
all those are excuses. Like that's people who know me know that's that's not how I roll, man. I just feel
01:27:37
bad about it cuz that's my my intentions are always 99.9% of the time good, you know, and to
01:27:44
hear about the video and everything I did and you know, I just hurt myself, man. Really let myself
01:27:51
down. Hard to look in the mirror at times. Um, but I'm going to continue continue doing
01:27:58
what I was doing before this happened. you know, leave the world a better place than I found it, man. And teach my kids
01:28:06
to do the same. >> And in 2018, you did um start the Good Fight Foundation. >> Yeah.
01:28:12
>> Um you and your wife um after clearing out your old fight gear and auctioning
01:28:18
it off to support Lafayette families. You started this foundation and you've actively been involved in in in the
01:28:24
charity. Um I I I went on the website and saw you driving delivery trucks and packing school supplies in the kitchen.
01:28:30
Um, but also I saw the work that you had done in Uganda providing kids in Uganda
01:28:36
with multiple new water wells as well. And you were a 30 years old awarded the first ever Forest Griffin Community
01:28:42
Award. The award presented annually by the UFC to recognize an athletes exceptional volunteering and charity
01:28:48
work. >> And you didn't have to do that, you know, especially at such a young age at
01:28:53
sort of 28 years old when you when this all began. And um, if people do want to go and check out the foundation, I'm
01:28:58
going to link it below. Um it's called the good fight foundation and I looked at the mission statement on the website
01:29:04
etc. and it's exactly what this question asks. It's how can you do good for other
01:29:08
people in the world that need it >> right and I I truly honestly 100% believe I'm doing it. You know
01:29:14
>> I'm using the platform I built through hard work to benefit as many people as I
01:29:19
can. You know uh fighting was going to benefit me and my family every time I walked to the ring. So, why couldn't I
01:29:26
my mindset was why couldn't I stack more on my back and go in with a cause and sell everything I wore that night and
01:29:34
benefit a family or benefit a person or another organization. I was like, let me
01:29:38
stack up as much on my back as I can and keep this momentum going um with the foundation. But when we first started
01:29:44
it, it wasn't I didn't auction off everything I wore to the octagon and we didn't link it to goals. It was just
01:29:50
kind of random. We were packing up my house, moving from South Florida back to Louisiana. Mhm.
01:29:55
>> And we had all this stuff and we just saw a news article that a police officer
01:29:59
got killed uh couple streets where me and my wife went to school, a couple streets away from where we went to
01:30:04
school and he left behind a wife and and kids, Officer Middlebrook here in Lafayette, Louisiana. And we're like,
01:30:10
well, we're packing up the house. What about all these gloves and fight shorts that you fought in on these big fights?
01:30:15
Can we sell it? Maybe we can sell it and donate to his family. And that's what sparked the whole foundation starting.
01:30:21
We did it for maybe a year, two, a year and a half, two years just out of my name before we made it an actual
01:30:27
nonprofit. We were just eBaying fight warn stuff and donating it to the food pantry, donating it to this fallen
01:30:33
officer's family. And then it turned into let's let's keep this going and see if other fighters would get behind this
01:30:39
and give it a name so it's not Dustin Porier does this, it's the Good Fight Foundation so more people maybe get
01:30:44
behind it. And it just kind of organically happened on something I'm very proud of. I mean, in in a couple
01:30:49
weeks, we have the backpack back to school drive. We we do probably 1300 backpacks filled with every school
01:30:56
supply on the school supply list for Louisiana. >> Yeah. It's >> incredible. >> It takes it takes everybody to make
01:31:02
these goals happen, man. Not just the monetary side, but the going in this warehouse and packing every single
01:31:07
backpack cuz we stretch the dollar with this foundation. You know, we don't have
01:31:11
any paid any everything is and we try to keep it as minimal as as possible to keep everything affordable. So, we buy
01:31:18
bulk backpacks, >> break all the pallets down to backpacks, bulk flash cards, everything that goes
01:31:24
in the backpack for the school year. We buy bulk and have to pack every backpack
01:31:28
ourselves. >> Wow. >> And uh it's something that I really enjoy doing and I'm happy I have a
01:31:34
platform to to do it and raise awareness. And you know, no kid should go to school without a that's just one
01:31:40
of the things we we've done annually, but no kid should go to the school without the proper school supplies they
01:31:46
need, you know. M >> it's crazy. So just small stuff like that, you know, we're just trying to
01:31:51
make a difference. >> Well, if anyone wants to donate, you can go to the Good Fight Foundation. Um I'll
01:31:55
link it below and uh they're doing incredible work. So it's a wonderful thing, wonderful cause and as you say,
01:32:00
you run it in a very lean way so that you can uh optimize for doing more and more good.
01:32:05
>> Dustin, thank you so much. >> Thank you, ma'am. >> Thank you so much for being such a class
01:32:08
act and thank you for agreeing to have me interview you today. It's a real honor. Um, you're a legend in my eyes
01:32:14
for so many reasons, not just because of the man that you are, but because you've
01:32:16
climbed impossible mountains and also the way that you conduct yourself after fighting, which is a real, it's really
01:32:22
like inspiring to me. Um, the values, the integrity, the orientation towards family, towards doing good, and actually
01:32:28
to being openly human. >> Definitely definitely am that. >> You know, that's my first time living
01:32:36
life, man. >> The good, the bad, and the human. And you're you're willing to be so honest
01:32:40
and open about that. And it um there's lots and lots and lot I know this sounds like a crazy thing to say, but that
01:32:46
airport incident is going to help a lot of people in a lot of ways that I don't think you'll ever get to see indirectly
01:32:51
because of um what I think is going to come from it. >> Thank you, man. I I hope you're
01:32:58
>> hope you're right. And I'm an open book. I'll talk about it and talk about my
01:33:02
struggles and I hope it does help somebody. >> Thank you. >> Thank you. YouTube have this new crazy
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algorithm where they know exactly what video you would like to watch next based on AI and all of your viewing behavior.
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And the algorithm says that this video is the perfect video for you. It's different for everybody looking right
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