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we are back for another ex- homeschoolers club I'm of course your host Jacob G and uh I'm continuing on
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this theme of interviewing parents and so this week I'm stoked my dad is here
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with me and uh we're going to have a good time we're going to talk about just
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kind of his involvement in my homeschool childhood and what he's doing today you
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know the growth that we've seen and just kind of chat about like our relationship
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and how it's kind of evolved over the years so Dad thanks for coming on hey well thanks for inviting me to your
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Forum so uh I'm so stoked to have you it's like I knew from starting that I I
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was GNA want to interview you and Mom and um and I'm glad that you guys are brave enough to put your stories out on
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the internet um because that's not for everybody so anyway well I'm glad to be
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a part of this I don't know I just it's and I I think it's I I appreciate what
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you're doing and and I've been pleasantly surprised that your podcast and and um it's uh so I'm happy to be a
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part of it awesome well thank you and uh okay so let's kick things off okay so I
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chatted with Mom we you know we talked a little bit about like the beginning of the homeschool years and you you were I
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don't want to say like not involved but you were definitely not you were not a
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part of really the curriculum aspect you were very much like principal you went to work in the morning you were there
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for discipline that kind of a thing but you were very like hands off of The Homeschool situation but then by the
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time I was leaving High School you were very much like in it I mean things changed you were working from home then
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you know but also you were like quote unquote like my teacher you were the person I reported to when it came to a
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lot of things and so I kind of wanted to you know talk about like what really changed um and so like what was that
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pivotal moment of like going from okay I'm not as much involved to like okay I
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think I want to be heavily more involved in this right so initially like like like you said initially I was when your
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mom was like oh I I think I want to homeschool the kids I was like fine do whatever you want don't
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expect me to be involved at all we and and I literally like I said that and I was was like I'm not going to
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have anything to do with this but if you want to do it go for it but it's all you
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right and and um so and and it wasn't that I was opposed to it it just that I
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was like I'm I'm not in at all I like just count me out and but what I saw
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was within the first year I could see the difference in the way way that you that you guys you and Madison just
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interacted with people I I could see it like I I could just you know at that time we were you know we we were
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teaching Sunday school we had you know you and and and how you you were with you know you and Madison were in
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comparison to other kids not to you know not to try and like you shouldn't really
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compare per se but like at at that time you know I could see I could see a difference yeah when you say like a
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difference are you talking about like like we were more socially like able to talk with like adults or like what do
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you mean by like a difference I guess I could see a difference yeah like I think
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um I could see one of the differences I could see was that you guys weren't afraid to talk with adults like you
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weren't as scared or as shy other kids um and you seem to be more uh comfortable with who you were and what
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you knew and how to express yourselves um so I could see I could see that difference right and and so it w and
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then and then one of the biggest things that that helped continue to grow me in my support
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for homeschooling was um you know was your mom inviting me to conference right one of the first
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conferences that we weren went to was like in Ontario you know and we were able to drive you know it they were all
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in the state of California but so we could drive and then we spent you know we got a hotel and we spent a couple of
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nights because it was a like a two-day conference or something and and um at that conference I saw other homeschooled
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dads speaking involved and I was listening right I I could I I listen to what they had to say
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and you know and so like it was CH it challenged me and it it inspired me and it started to draw me out and be
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like and God started changing my heart in that way right like I I I I I wanted to have a heart for my
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family and my kids and I did but like I I he started growing that desire and that heart bigger for me and and so that
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was the path that started it right and like like you said I was always like the principal and I was happy to be that but
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but as as my uh you know as my journey grew GRE and I I learned more about it and and I
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got more involved I was like okay well I can do this and I can push for this and
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and like you know and then and as I went to more and more of these conferences and and you know mom invited me in to
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like help select curriculum and look at curriculum and I could see the opportunities like like when we went to
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a conference and like there was a whole Lego curriculum that was like super exciting for me yeah because I was a
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Lego guy you were a Lego guy yeah I was like well we can connect on this and like this is this is awesome right like
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when I was in school that Legos wasn't you know part of curriculum at all and
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we could make Lego part of the curriculum and I was like yeah um so so seeing things like that and seen
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things like like you know cool stuff that boys like knives and axes and and night stuff and you know that stuff that
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spoke to me and and I thought could speak to you and you know as my son and and other things
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and so that's where you know my heart really started to change and and really
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see okay you know um I want to I want to not only just support it I want to really be a champion of it you know yeah
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like not just be like oh yeah do this it's okay but really like like well this
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is really a good thing uh this is um you know something we can do as a family you
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know and so so that's where where I started to see things and like in those conferences there were different
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speakers um male speakers that you know challenged me and like you know kind of called me out to be a better father a
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better husband been and and I wanted to to meet that challenge right I I felt like that was
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important well I think something that you you and I have talked about this a lot but it's
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like I I never I've never felt like oh my dad's just like not in my life if
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that you know like even when we were little kids and I was in public school or even before that it's like looking
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back in in those those memories it's like you were around we did stuff you know but but there was a definite
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shift when you started get involved in The Homeschool stuff where it shifted from dad wants to involve Us in the
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things that he wants to do to Dad wants to beol be involved in the things that I
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want to do and find the things that kind of like met in the middle right um and so because like I remember before we
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lived in ohigh we like in the condo I remember like sitting in the garage and like doing woodworking projects and like
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gluing together like your scrap wood stuff and like that was fun but that was like that was your thing that was what
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you enjoyed and that was how you would like de-stress right and and detach you know um not detach that's the wrong word
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but like that was your thing Escape kind of like it was as a form of you know you know hobby hobby
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you know a hobby thing and when we mov to ohigh I think the other thing too that's important to point out is that so
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we moved to ohigh we moved into a fixer upper house so that first year of homeschool we didn't have a kitchen we
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only had like one bathroom so like in addition to because it because I don't
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want it to come off sounding like you were just like I'm a hands off I want nothing to do with this you were having
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to work a full-time job then come home and like remodel this house so I think that plays a role in it too where it's
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like do I even have the bandwidth to be involved in this you know right um yeah that's that's stressful that that's true
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like like no there's some truth in that and like you're you're right like I was
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yeah I was coming home and like changing from my work clothes into my house work
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clothes and and you know after dinner I would go to work on the house and and until you know after you kids went to
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bed and and still work and try not to make it make too much noise and that's
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valid um you know and so yeah I did I I we took on a lot guess what I'm try our family take
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on a lot that's very true um and um no but I think I I think uh um I want to Circle back around to kind
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of where you're were saying like like you know like like your mom I'm so
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thankful for your mom in terms of like even when you guys were young kids young even babies right she
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encouraged me to be involved in your everyday stuff give you baths when I got home I could
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have a little nap time with you guys or or you know play with you before dinner or and then like give you the bath
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before bedtime and be a part of that and be so that I wasn't which was very different than the way I grew up okay
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so so that was and and it was very different than you know and me being around was a conscious decision
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because I wanted that because that was different than how you know my dad wasn't always around he was traveling a
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lot for work during the week he would be home during the weekends and then to your point too about you know when I was
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a kid if I wanted to spend time with my dad it was like okay on the weekends i'
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just kind of like follow him around and be a shadow and be involved with what he
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was involved with and like as I got older yeah he like would you know I was on a traveling basketball team and he
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would take me the games and stuff so he did he did dip in with that for me but he was an athlete when he was in high
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school so that wasn't like totally out of his wheelhouse you know um so so I so
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what I knew was you know and kind of what I you know when we were in the condo was like oh yeah I just follow me
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around enjoy what I do in my hobbies right but I had to learn um and part of the you know some
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of the homeschool conferences helped me learn this or or at least triggered the thinking um you know I need to enter
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into your world and you know like like I can't just expect you to like the things
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that I like that may be true in some cases it may not be true but I but if I want to
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establish rapport with you and relationship I need to enter into the things that you love and participate in
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those things so like that changed right like I tried to and I wasn't very good
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and even when we were working on a house like you wanted to help me but I wasn't
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very good at at at instructing you in how to do that right that was a I was going to break
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I was gonna I was gonna say the the comparison of like we have this joke of a story that if you pull up the
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floorboards I think it's in the living room you pull up the floorboards in the
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living room there is just a gigantic paint stain on the concrete thing because I wanted to mix the paint my dad
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was like yeah you can mix the paint here's the drill here's the big drill
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bit thing that comes off of it and then just was like do it and there was no instruction and my mom always
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I heard from the other room and I knew it was going to be a disaster and sure enough paint went everywhere but to
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compare that to then when I was I think we did yeah when I was in college to come home and we re roof the whole house
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and we worked very much as a team and there was a lot of communication and there was a lot of like okay let's do
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this let's try this it it's very different right like there's been this crazy it's just to
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give both sides of the spectrum right it's like the the lack of being a to explain it yeah as as as a communicator
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to communicate better you know and and that's and I've learned that you know
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through home stuff through work stuff so like like so yeah so I have improved and
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and learned and it's just like you know you you know you're you're learning as you go and and growing and
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changing and you know I'm not the same person today as I was when we first started home School in and right and so
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I'm a different person and I advocate differently and so but yeah that's a
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good point that's a good point like yeah well I mean you're talking about we
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started homes going like what 2006 something like that uh I was eight we we bought well we bought our we bought our
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house we bought our house in 2004 okay so so we started this the fall of 2004 was when we started oh okay yeah um yeah
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why did I do that math wrong I would have been I would have been 10 2006 whatever no but like like uh that's okay
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like I just I know because like this we've been here 20 years right yeah and
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and it finally looks like you know mom's finally driving up to the house and
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going oh looks great right and and she likes the the Fig Tree and the the the you know the the nectarine the the
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apricot and like oh how the leafes are changing and it looks good with the house and which is really satisfying
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right but it's taken 20 years it takes a while right it's not an overnight thing
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it's not you know I wanted to bring this up too and this is kind of pivoting a
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little bit but okay so so you started to get more heavily involved in our education and I remember like it I think
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it really to some degree started where at night we would read books together um as a family and you would sit you
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started just like sitting in with us I feel like and we were just reading it was like historical literature basically
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like fiction was one of them carry on Mr bodic was one of them I mean and part of
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that too like like that was I I also remember cuz I broke my hip and while during
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during all this period And I was sitting in the living room and this Lazy Boy working and you guys would read and I
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would hear these stories and I'd be like you know but I wouldn't get to hear the
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whole book because I you know you'd like read a couple chapters and then like
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like later when I wasn't around you read more and i' jump in later and I best
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part of the story and I was just like ah this is so good I got and I ended up reading several of those books myself
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just because I I was like intrigued you know by the story it was a good story right yeah and but I think that's really
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where like I started seeing you kind of like get involved in like our stuff and maybe there was more behind the scenes
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of like you helping Mom choose curriculum and things like that but I definitely felt
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like when you started being involved in like oh reading a book together and then
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we talk about it you know and then like I mean you went from being like principal cuz I mean yeah up until when
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whenever you broke your hip which was what we were in scho high school like yeah freshman maybe um freshman
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sophomore something like that so yeah 145 so you're talking about I mean that's it's eight so what like six years
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of time you know that like that I feel like was a big transition one in your life
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but also in in we saw so much more of you cuz it went from dad went to work every day he would come home and yeah he
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was involved in like story time and he would go do homeschool stuff you would you did homeschool stuff us come to
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groups you know do whatever go to dances with us that kind of stuff but but that
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was I think a big transition period too where it was like all of a sudden dad's
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around so he gets to see the inner workings of a day today yeah and yeah I feel like I don't know like
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well part of that like like I think part of it too okay so so what also brought about some of the transition was
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when you hit puberty um quite honestly like the best time of life right so like it's you know
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and so when you hit puberty and you were starting to bristle at Mom's instruction
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right which is natural right which is for a young man transitioning from a boy to a young man you know that's a natural
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part of life and and so your mom was like I I really need help and um you know thankfully she was able to express
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that and thankfully you know I could hear it and for me you know when I was a young man at that stage I just needed
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physical activity right so hence some of the things that you know I would do with
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you in terms of you know you came to my work and swept the whole sidewalk box and stuff like that for you know
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punishment and other things like I would just have you do labor to help get out some of that extra energy and hormones
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and everything because like that's what worked for me as a kid but also in in attending some of the home
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school conferences there was a a particular indivi there was there was a speaker he happened to be an executive
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or a manager at that focused on the family at the time and he SP and his his his his session really spoke
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to me because he was like I'm I'm in charge of my son's homeschool right and how he did it right
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and and like yeah as they're transitioning from a boy to a young man and and drawing them out and like they
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take instruction from their fathers better than their mothers right and it doesn't mean so that really challenged
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me and then that like seen this happen with you like okay like I can do this right like like he's doing it he's
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working a full-time job as a manager executive for this organization I'm not
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an executive but I but and I have a full-time job but I can do it we can figure this out right and so part of
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that was like and it wasn't like I would sit down and do all the you know it was
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a a lot of it was your mom would plan the lesson plan and I would just communicate it to you because you could
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hear it from me better than you could hear from her right right and and it wasn't that I didn't have input it was
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just that I you know you know yeah things things pivoted during that time because it went from it went from okay
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so you know yeah mom is structuring everything to okay so Dad is still going to work um because yeah this was pre you
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working from home and like Dad goes to work but like I got a laptop I had I got my first email address there like and
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yeah we set out a structure and a schedule and you were like okay you email me when you're done with certain
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things you know to say hey it done checked it off the bucket list right and so that way you knew that it was time to
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like okay I can go and I can grade it or we can you know whether it was you or Mom grading it whatever you know it was
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time for the review and then we'll discuss it and and that kind of a thing yes you brought up going to your office
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um I have both very fond and terrible memories of that place um I yeah I was a little um
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sometimes and I remember there was this one day I don't I don't remember what
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happened but yeah I ended up at your office and I the worst show I ever did at your office was clean just for for
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the listeners for the listeners my that was the principal's office right fortunately fortunately I we where I
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worked was only about 15 minutes away from home so like I could run home at lunch if things were happening which I
00:23:01
happened on multiple occasions and I could pick you up and bring you back for the rest of the afternoon and you had to
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be in the principal's office for the rest of for rest of the day right and when I say it was brutal it was brutal
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because a lot times it really just meant you passed me off to one of like the um
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the uh not supply room what am I thinking of like the shipping room guys so we had so Dustin was in charge of of
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the shipping and he was also in charge of the maintenance of the building and stuff and so like when I got when I had
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stuff when I was done with you in terms of like I had you know like whatever I could think of you had accomplished and
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we're still sitting you know you know there's two or three hours left of
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before I going before we're going home I just go down to desk and I go what jobs
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do you have that you need need help with here's here's hands to help you right
00:24:02
yep the worst thing I ever did and if anybody Works in a corporate office you know the disgustingness that is the
00:24:09
corporate fridge because everyone forgets that their stuff is in there I scrubbed this thing top to bottom
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multiple times soda sticky soda residue ice cream that was like you couldn't
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even tell it was ice cream anymore like moldy cheese like I have never seen so much mold in my entire life like it's no
00:24:29
wonder I have an allergy to mold because I mean we're talking about containers
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that the mold was that grown its own ecosystem inside of it and then it was like coming out of the lids like it was
00:24:39
disgusting it was like the worst thing ever and yeah you know what's funny and
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not to not to really uh call out my aunt who worked with you but my aunt Bera who
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worked with you if she's listening um I'm calling you out her initials are Bo
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and that was listed on a lot of things that ended up with mold in them um so I threw away a lot of your containers Ain
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Bertha um yeah those are just in a landfill somewhere the stuff that people bring and then like eat partially or
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don't finish and then like leave and forget about it and then bring something
00:25:13
else the next day that's the stuff that you got to clean out that's man so
00:25:18
disgusting yeah there was that I I think that was the worst I had to do filing that was like super repetitive and dumb
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that you know I remember somebody coming through and being like why are you doing
00:25:29
this and I was like because I'm in trouble and they're like oh that makes
00:25:32
sense and I was like I was like do you guys even use these and they're like no
00:25:36
It's All Digital now like like what am I doing um but yeah so that was yeah that
00:25:44
was uh that was punishment a lot of the times but yeah you did like I think it was good that you pushed me to do like
00:25:51
physical activity because one of the things too was like yeah when hormones are raging and
00:25:58
and just life is changing it was like there's a lot of emotion there's a lot
00:26:01
of whatever and it got to the point where I just kind of also learned that it's like okay
00:26:08
if I get frustrated just go mow the lawn go wash the car like go do something right go throw a ball at a wall like
00:26:15
just like do something and you get out the the aggression the frustration whatever it is yeah
00:26:22
and obviously there needs to be a part of like actually exploring what that emotion and where that stemmed from but
00:26:27
sometimes then of motion just boils up you just have to like get it out first in a physical form and it's a lot better
00:26:33
to like punch the lawn with a lawn mower than it is to like throw a chair across
00:26:38
the room right and if you can get it out in a positive way or you know like like
00:26:44
because I know as a kid when I was in school and I you know I was in we lived in
00:26:51
Minnesota and so one of the methods that I you know if I get Ang you know if I get frustrated at school
00:26:58
or with a teacher and I'd get angry so a positive outlet for that was I could
00:27:05
come home and I could split wood because we burned wood and so splitting wood is physical labor you know you're
00:27:14
swinging a swinging a sledgehammer and using a using a split splitter and stuff like that and so like but then it also
00:27:23
benefited the family because it gave us a wood pile that we could burn during the winter and that was helpful right so
00:27:30
and then like I didn't have I didn't get in trouble at school because I blew up
00:27:35
at a teacher so you know so as as you know that's something that when I was young it worked for me so
00:27:45
hopefully I could you know pass it on I think it worked for me too I mean it's
00:27:50
still something that like it's different now I don't have a long but yeah you
00:27:56
know it's figuring out those things it's like yeah when you get frustrated it's
00:27:59
like go for a run go do whatever to sometimes you just got to get it out and once it's out then it's like it's a lot
00:28:06
easier to deal with it when it's not just like in the moment sometimes then you can yeah I mean it takes the it
00:28:13
takes it down to a level where all of a sudden I can be critically thinking about it yeah you know you also I think
00:28:20
as you grow I think too you learn to start to recognize the triggers of getting to that point of like yeah
00:28:28
you know when you're a hormonal teenager it's it's like when people talk about
00:28:31
getting mad right and they see red like I feel like there's a level when you're
00:28:35
a teenager that's just like it's kind of that and it's not always anger but it
00:28:39
maybe expresses itself in Anger sometimes but as you get older if you if you listen to it right you can start to
00:28:46
recognize the trigger so you start to realize okay why am I ramping up to this point of seeing red right and and so
00:28:52
before that you can start to combat it with things that don't involve having to
00:28:57
go chop wood right and so and then you're able to kind of you can diffuse the situation a lot faster I guess what
00:29:02
I'm trying to say yeah yeah yeah so and like and then also the other point I I
00:29:08
would raised about um uh taking over being more involved with your schooling as you were older
00:29:16
and like and like having the office situation and then you know and the email you mentioned the email and stuff
00:29:23
but also like you had the schedule time with me right like that was like because because I worked you you you had
00:29:33
to be intentional about okay well I need x amount of time for you of your dad tonight so don't plan it you know
00:29:42
well I have to schedule appointment with you so like so like which was important
00:29:47
which was good because like it helped us you know get it done and and work work on you know getting the task done but
00:29:55
also it taught you a skill set um that's beneficial you know that's transferable and beneficial for life too
00:30:05
right like so so you you know so now you you know in your work you you have schedule and you make appointments all
00:30:13
the time you know and that's something that you're you started to learn in high
00:30:18
school as you were working with me right like like so so that was another I think
00:30:24
that was you know so that was one of the things um I that and I mean even when like later in
00:30:31
high school when I started to kind of have like my own jobs my own like businesses and things like that it's
00:30:36
like a lot of times you and I would sit down and I'd be like okay I have this
00:30:40
idea I want to do this thing right like how does this make sense financially right and it's like or like like I used
00:30:48
to I Bartered with Tim FR it's like I would go be his janitor for a couple hours a week in exchange for music
00:30:54
lessons great right it was a one for one kind of a deal you know but then I I taught my own
00:31:00
guitar lessons I taught my own dance lessons you know I did a bunch of other stuff that it was like okay like we
00:31:06
would sit down and be like okay here's kind of what I'm thinking about charging
00:31:10
is this too much not enough does this make sense like if I have to drive the Ventura for this it should be higher you
00:31:16
know and so he also sat down with me to kind of look at all these things from just a like okay yeah you have your own
00:31:22
business but like it needs to make sense if you're actually going to do it and
00:31:25
that's been transferable to now I have business right and and that's been fun
00:31:31
like that's been fun for me right because like I I have not been entrepreneurial in in my
00:31:40
career but I've been in business and I can help like it's been fun for me
00:31:47
because like I can help you think through some things that I've learned along the way just being involved with
00:31:54
business and see you know the transactions and and the the concerns and what's thought
00:32:01
about to help you think about those things as you are entrepreneural and in your endeavors right like okay consider
00:32:08
this consider this right these are costs these are things to think about right so
00:32:12
like like it's been that's been fun for me I think too that like this is really
00:32:19
looping back also kind of the beginning of the conversation but you you getting involved in things that also I was
00:32:25
interested in played a big part and I think us having the relationship that we do
00:32:30
today because in talking to like my friends and interviewing people on the show and
00:32:37
and kind of figuring out I was like people have brought up like Jacob your parents were around like we saw your
00:32:44
parent we saw your dad we never saw any homeschool dads like we saw your dad you
00:32:49
know and then especially talking out like the guys it's like I'm realizing
00:32:53
like you came in you would Airsoft with us and you would you know we would work on cars together we would whatever
00:32:59
little like you know we go roof somebody's house we go help somebody move you know it's like you did things
00:33:05
that I was passionate about with me specifically Airsoft I think it's the big um and yeah which I love I love too
00:33:13
so like you know what's so funny and and for for people who yeah we brought up
00:33:21
you breaking your leg and what's so funny is you broke your like paintballing and I want to say that was
00:33:25
like one of our first I don't know that you airos softed with me prior to that
00:33:29
or maybe once or twice but you weren't really as much into it yeah yet I feel
00:33:34
like I feel like paintball was kind of the the first big thing we did where it was like we had airsoft stuff before
00:33:41
that because um because I remember like we had I mean we had our airsoft stuff before I broke my my hip
00:33:53
okay maybe my memory is serving me wrong but yeah yeah because I remember like playing up at the hall Ranch which was
00:34:00
one of our places that we would play and before breaking my hip right like and then like when I broke my hip they let
00:34:07
me use the gator to drive around right that's right and then like we had the overnight
00:34:14
stay thing and we played at night and then I like you know I up my game and bought like really expensive night
00:34:21
equipment so that I could like you know terrorize you guys because I couldn't
00:34:25
move around as good and yeah yeah that was one of my that's one of my favorite memories right so
00:34:34
like so I had a job you know I had a good job and I could buy so I bought I bought a flashlight that was designed
00:34:43
for hunting with the optical you know like super powerful to go on the rail of my airsoft gun with the whole pressure
00:34:50
switch thing you know that I could have right down at my at the grip level and and all these other you know all these
00:34:57
other St kids right were just like oh I'm getting a flashlight from Costco I'm
00:35:02
just going to tape it to my gun right and then I'll just click it on click it
00:35:06
off right and so which worked but like you know I I was like well I know I I'm
00:35:12
not as mobile so I can't I can't I gotta up my game right so so my the funnest
00:35:19
part was I remember that night so David David worth he had his he had a ghillie suit even and it was pitch black and
00:35:28
he's wearing his ghillie suit and I just I just hear movement and I light him up
00:35:34
and it's like a deer in the headlights and he's like and I hear him go oh crap
00:35:40
and I could just see the Airsoft bullets flying out of my gun hitting him yeah I will say as if there are any
00:35:49
current homeschool kids listening into this get your if you want good gear for whatever sport you want to play get your
00:35:57
your parent into that sport because they will fund it we had yeah we had some of
00:36:02
the nicer guns I mean we didn't even have like the craziest stuff but we had
00:36:05
nice guns we had nice gear and yeah and then when you couldn't make it I got to
00:36:09
still take all that stuff so yeah then I had high powerered flashlights and lasers and yeah night vision this and
00:36:15
all that stuff so um yeah so I forgot I forgot about that flashlight no crazy yeah it was worth it
00:36:26
um and the other well the other part too like well I I was I was I I was thinking
00:36:32
about this that kind of got me some I think got me well how do you get you know got me some cred with your
00:36:42
guys was you guys were over at the house playing around doing whatever right and
00:36:48
then then you guys were like at the kitchen table like oh it's arm wrestle right and and and especially David worth
00:36:55
and and like they're like oh yeah you know and so I like well I'm like so I
00:36:59
was like I want in on this right and so they're like uh you know David's like a
00:37:05
that's his dad who nothing right and so I beat him and like and then that that
00:37:11
got me some cred I think with David at least yeah yeah well I think so to kind of go into more of your story too is
00:37:20
that like growing up like you've always been like a thin fairly athletic person
00:37:26
but like you weren't running you weren't being physically active and then when
00:37:30
you broke your hip you really hit this stride of like maybe it's a I don't know maybe did
00:37:38
the doctors say like you might walk with a limp for the rest of your life because
00:37:41
like you went into just like I'm going to be a runner now mode yeah like I well
00:37:46
what happened was you know they they you know it it was long recovery long recovery and I mean I was on crutches
00:37:55
for four months then then after crutches my back was all jacked up because of the change and all
00:38:02
the muscular musculars thing and the pain from my back was worse than the pain from my hip um and then you know I
00:38:12
did PT for at least a month if not more and that PT helped me a lot but then after
00:38:22
PT you know I'd sit in the office and sit in a chair and then I'd get up to go
00:38:27
to the coffee station or whatever and I'd start to limp and and then it would work out
00:38:34
right but but I didn't like it but so basically it was like I don't like this
00:38:39
right so in combination with that so so so that was like I I don't want this so
00:38:45
then that I was like I have to do pt like every day and not just like oh I did my two months of PT and I'm good and
00:38:53
I can just live my life how I want I realized that because because of my back because of my leg I have to
00:39:02
consistently do this and so that changed a lot of things in my life and then with the cancer
00:39:12
diagnosis not too long after the hip thing um uh that also changed how I viewed my
00:39:22
health and and the importance of that and so then you know I I really was you know um int you know trying to be more
00:39:32
intentional about that and and just be as strong and ready for anything as I could be yeah and that's so that that
00:39:42
that change that changed the Dynamics well we talked about you know like getting mad right and doing something
00:39:49
productive right and it's like I remember yeah when you got diagnosed with cancer it was
00:39:56
like it it was a shock first of all to all of us but then it was you kind of I think a lot of people would go more
00:40:05
into a depressive state of just kind of being like okay it's over like I don't
00:40:09
know like I and and even though to give a little bit of context you have CL which is chronic lymphatic leukemia
00:40:17
right you're stage zero one kind of level so B right it's like a non-existence but it's one of those
00:40:24
cancers where if it activates it's like really fast right right well I don't know if it's
00:40:29
fast but it's but it's it's a it's a blood it's a blood cancer and it's um
00:40:39
it's inert right now uh like I've never had treatment I'm I'm I'm just it'll be 11 years this year
00:40:49
um since I was diagnosed and I think part of that so like so to go along with that part of it like so when I broke my
00:40:58
hip um part of my recovery was at that time so I broke my hip 2011 is when I broke my hip and so
00:41:11
part of that was that was the year that that they found Usama Bin Laden and they brought him to Justice
00:41:22
basically um which means they killed him so but but um so so at that time so Navy
00:41:33
Seals is a big deal right and so like so I was so so part of my thing and there was all these stories and books about
00:41:41
Navy Seals and I got into reading a lot of stories and books about nav seals but
00:41:46
part of it was like I realized that okay in order to recover and then also with the cancer diagnosis just like three
00:41:55
years like two two years later I realized that I had to I needed a mindset like that of an elite Warrior
00:42:07
right and so in Reading those books and reading about that that you know those types of
00:42:15
Warriors I need to have that kind of mindset to to address the things that I needed to overcome right like like what
00:42:24
I had to overcome was you know so in reading these books it was like what I had to overcome was like nothing
00:42:32
compared to what these guys had to overcome in their life so it it was like well I can do this because they did this
00:42:40
and it was far greater than anything I had to do but so that helped me you know in that mindset I guess is it was a more
00:42:50
of a mindset thing for me yeah well I just remember like you know you would get angry I mean you weren't an angry
00:42:58
person but like when you got diagnosed with cancer it's like you would you would you could tell there was a shift
00:43:05
in your personality of just I think you were just kind of dealing you were just figuring out what to do with that
00:43:10
information right and and I remember yeah you just started going running and it would be like two hours like in my
00:43:18
head I was like I'm you know my dad is forc Gump at this point CU he would just
00:43:21
be gone you would just go running for hours um and then come back and and yeah and
00:43:28
then you started kind of like in addition to running you were like okay I'm going to do like push-ups and
00:43:34
pull-ups and like all this body weight stuff and you like and you know and then it's evolved over time and now you do
00:43:41
you know not always competitive but you do like obstacle course racing and a lot
00:43:45
of like mud run type stuff and right you're really good at it you're like top
00:43:50
of your class for your age range and like it's it's insane because I think
00:43:55
for me it's it's crazy to watch because like I have always thought my my dad's
00:44:00
in great shape he's fit he's athletic he can lift stuff he can do you know he can
00:44:04
do whatever we play basketball you know whatever he's good and then yeah and
00:44:09
then yeah 2013 is and even a little bit before that but you just like all of a sudden it was like complete change of
00:44:16
just like I'm going to be super athletic and to your point you went I have to have
00:44:22
this mindset that's different I want to be right the best version of myself right um and how do I do that well
00:44:29
here's here's what I do you know and so I applaud you for that because it's you
00:44:33
know it's not easy it's not easy to do that it's a lot easier to just kind of
00:44:36
be like well I guess this is life now right and just like okay I'm always GNA
00:44:42
have a limp I'm gonna have cancer and I'm just not going to change anything
00:44:45
it's just you know I'm just gonna do life as it is and see what happens you
00:44:49
know but you didn't do that no it's it's a it's it's it's a struggle and like
00:44:58
part of like like I I really like you mentioned obstacle course racing and I really enjoy that as
00:45:04
you know and I I it's kind of my hobby and but I kind of look at it as as like
00:45:10
it it was help it's it's it's been super helpful along the way because I'm like because it helps me it
00:45:18
gives me um I can look back at it when I have other challenging things in life whether it's at work or in my person
00:45:27
life or whatever and I can say okay well I did this thing so I can make it through this thing right and and like
00:45:35
there's a saying called the it's a well it's attributed to Marcus quillis I think um
00:45:44
uh OB the obstacle is the way right so like like it's not so the obstacle is
00:45:51
your way and it's like getting through the obstacle not avoiding the obstacle
00:45:56
but finding a way through and over through the obstacle so like like so I use that as you
00:46:03
know um so doing obstacle course racing I use it as as like okay so like I can do these
00:46:10
obstacles and so when I run across the obstacle in life I can just I figure it out and I can make my way through the
00:46:17
obstacle whether it's an obstacle at work or an obstacle in my personal life
00:46:22
or something it's like it's encouragement for me to push through that you know to figure out
00:46:29
a way to get through that obstacle right um yeah no I think that's that's like so
00:46:35
important and like it's been inspiring for me when I have stuff in my life that's tough it's like okay well you
00:46:44
know my Dad could do this I can do this you know it's like you know it's like
00:46:49
right um man can do it I can do it exactly I'm like yeah he's way older than I am I I should be able to do this
00:46:56
you know so it pushes me to want to be that better version and and everybody's
00:47:01
different right but it's like I have those own obstacles in my life that I go
00:47:05
okay I can get there it's just it so it's just time sometimes it's just you
00:47:12
know I I I I constantly live by the thing of like you know how how do you eat an elephant you know well it's just
00:47:19
one bite at a time you know and so it always just feels like there's a mountain of stuff but you know it's just
00:47:25
that small step in the right direction every single day and we get to choose that for ourselves so I think that
00:47:31
that's really important and you know um yeah and I got to see you run in the
00:47:39
first race I got to see you run you came here to Tennessee got to go it was super
00:47:43
cool um I don't know that I'll ever do that I I I it's kind of a pipe dream but
00:47:49
you know who knows we'll see maybe someday but uh it's so yeah well I'm
00:47:56
working on James yeah yeah you gota yeah you got to work on my cousin see if he'll he'll do I think he'd do it so
00:48:03
actually he's he's like because yeah he's he's he's kind of interested right
00:48:08
because he's he's been working out a lot where he's at so good so I was gonna say
00:48:16
and we kind of we kind of touched on this already but you know coming out of the home school years so I graduated in
00:48:23
2014 Madison graduated I think 2017 2016 2017 something like 2017 I believe it was um so you know that
00:48:35
was probably less of a pivot for you but definitely a change in you and mom's
00:48:40
life so was that hard for you or like did it feel empty after that or were you just like I'm thankful I have like some
00:48:48
time [Laughter] again it was uh I mean it was a bigger change for your mom clearly she was more heavily
00:48:58
involved but but I mean like like with Madison you know the high school years you know I I was the math science guy in
00:49:06
the high school years your mom was like well you're grading all the math science
00:49:09
stuff because that's your that's your realm you know and she's the English
00:49:15
writing literature person which you know I'm happy to have that be her realm and
00:49:21
um it was I think it was it was it was easier for me because I had I had work you know I I didn't like it
00:49:31
wasn't um it wasn't everything for me and not to say that it was everything
00:49:36
for your mom um but it was a big part of right of her her identity as well right
00:49:45
like like so and it wasn't completely who she was you know she's her own
00:49:50
person but but but it was a big part of what she had poured Mo many many years into um and and you
00:50:02
know and I was involved with that but at the same time I had my work that gave me
00:50:07
you know part of my identity as well and and then I was you know I'm doing this I was doing racing at the still and
00:50:15
stuff so um it was good like I I mean it was uh so what one of the things that changed
00:50:25
is so those homeschool relationships that were it was such a natural interaction and interface and th those
00:50:35
kind of change because that interface and those natural overlapping of your life changes right it becomes less yeah
00:50:44
um so so some of those relationships are you know I've had to be more intentional
00:50:50
about keeping some of those relationships up some of those relationships have not um are not as
00:50:56
robust as they once were um your mom's been better at keeping those relationships up and amongst her her
00:51:04
group of of ladies um which was bit which was a very good thing right that she had book clubs that she was still
00:51:11
participating in they still did you know Fridays at the beach uh you know okay we don't have kids now but we're
00:51:20
still go on the beach right like yeah which was which is good which was super healthy yeah I mean that's super health
00:51:27
and and like uh so that's been good I think the part where um and as you know
00:51:35
like like we were involved with the achieve on the achieve board um and so even after we graduated
00:51:43
our students uh we were still on the board it was hard to get people on the board it was hard to get people engaged
00:51:51
to want to volunteer you know they kept us on your mom was to be done done like she wanted
00:51:58
to be done done and like and it was kind it was kind of interesting because I was
00:52:02
like more like oh this is good I want to advocate for this I want to be a you know like I feel like I have more room
00:52:09
to advocate for this now right and your mom was just like I'm done I'm tired I'm
00:52:14
ready to be done yeah and I was like getting my second wind and just be like well we have to Advocate and we have to
00:52:21
support and we have to encourage right our role changes right we're not we're
00:52:26
not schooling we're not doing it but we can be Advocates right so um so that was that was a little bit
00:52:36
different right that's kind of shocking right like like here I go from this guy
00:52:40
who's like do whatever you want I'm not going to be involved at all till like
00:52:45
well we can stay on the board a little bit longer like we need to be Advocates and your mom's just like I'm done like
00:52:51
let's be done right right right she had hit that I mean she had what 12 13 years
00:52:56
of that yeah she she had hit her her fill and like yeah for me you know like I clearly like I
00:53:06
wasn't as involved right I was involved but like I so I hadn't you know I was
00:53:13
getting a drip she was getting you know the whole spot on and so um so I was you
00:53:21
know still had energy and and and and desire and you know felt you know oh now's my time
00:53:30
to be a bit more of an advocate and we can play a role a different role right like more of a Consulting role or
00:53:39
a you know coaching kind of a role um so I don't know so that was that was different I mean we're we're we're
00:53:47
completely off now but but I would say you know what I also have found um I would say that that I I still am an
00:53:59
advocate you know I I it's it's interesting because uh even just in September when
00:54:07
we were down in Anaheim for my race at at Angel Stadium we spent the night and I went to the jacuzzi to relax um there
00:54:17
was a couple in there and they were talking about school and their kids and and I
00:54:22
just was like oh are you guys teachers and they're like no we're just ER
00:54:26
parents and so we got talking about you know homeschooling and I and I was just like well it's just like well it's good
00:54:32
that you're involved like you're engaged whether you're homeschooling or whether
00:54:37
your kids are Traditional School or whether private school or however I it's
00:54:43
really good to hear that you're so engaged with your students with your kids right and they were and they even
00:54:50
were trying to advocate for other students that were in the classroom with their students where
00:54:56
saw that they needed you know Services different types of services so so that was you know so that's you know so I'm
00:55:05
advocating for parents really yeah um yeah and I I think that that's something
00:55:14
that you know a lot of people believe right that that people homeschool their kids like strictly for like religious
00:55:20
reasons or strictly because you know they're like Doomsday Preppers and they're like I don't want the government
00:55:25
anywhere near my kids education stuff like that right that was maybe more of an 80s and 90s thing but I mean maybe
00:55:31
it's going to be again today but like and I think you know and Mom's going to speak
00:55:39
more to this when we chat but it's just like I think you guys did it more from a
00:55:44
place of like we want what's best for our kids and their education and what is
00:55:50
that right is it right because I think if private school had been the thing you would have been like okay then private
00:55:55
school's thing if public school was working then yeah public school would have been the thing and it just
00:56:03
was homeschool ended up being that thing that was best and there's obviously
00:56:07
always things that can be done better but that's life you know that's parenting right so so yeah so that's why
00:56:14
I say I'm an advocate for parents like like I I and and you know like I homeschooling clearly worked for us I
00:56:24
see homeschooling as a a highly uh customized education you know you're you're able
00:56:35
to meet identify and meet the needs of your students your kids uh and specifically address them on
00:56:44
a very customized basis um and so in other situations and other scenarios there's you know they're not able to do
00:56:55
that in and it you know in public school it's it's it's a volume thing there's
00:57:01
just a there's a lot of students there but that doesn't mean that you still
00:57:05
can't Advocate and be the best and engaged with your student and help them as you know if you know what's going on
00:57:13
you you're following their homework you're engaged in what they're doing
00:57:17
you're you know like because we have friends I have friend Zach Zach and Diane his wife him and his wife they
00:57:23
homeschool their kids but they like home schooled them for a few years in grade school then they kind of went back to
00:57:30
school then they homeschooled them again then they went back to high school so so
00:57:37
and and part of it is their kids in high school wanted to participate in sports so that was important to them but as
00:57:46
parents they were highly involved they were Sports parents they were always there they were helped them navigate
00:57:52
those Waters uh you know right you know emotionally through you know how whatever you know whatever
00:58:02
those challenges were that they're addressing in those situations they just didn't like throw them in there and just
00:58:09
say well it's the Public School Systems deal no it's there are kids we care
00:58:16
about them we want them to have the best education they have and we're going to
00:58:20
be involved to make sure that that we're involved with that education regardless
00:58:24
of what it is and that we can help them think through things and give them skills you know to do that you know yeah
00:58:35
whether they get them in school or we supplement what they get in school or we you know how however that looks you know
00:58:43
that's that's the important thing I think yeah no and I I 100% agree with
00:58:49
you because that's what I'm realizing talking to people is like especially people my age are
00:58:56
starting we're becoming we're starting to become parents people my age are
00:59:00
starting to have kids multiple of them and they're going okay do I homeschool
00:59:03
do I do this do I do the other you know and I'm I'm seeing what I see is a lot
00:59:09
of them going I just want my kid to have the best thing possible so I have to figure out what that is and for some
00:59:15
people they go my education sucked so for me teaching is just not an option right great that's fine you recognize
00:59:21
that within yourself but to your point they're going to be there for every Sports they're going to be there when
00:59:27
you know if the kid is struggling in a class they're going to be there for that
00:59:30
kid to be like okay well what is it you know we got to work with you and I think
00:59:35
we're coming out of there's this argument to be made that there is a generation of people who had children as
00:59:41
an accessory rather than as like because they actually wanted to have children and that generation of
00:59:48
people they really wanted they complain about the education system but they also
00:59:53
have nothing to do with fixing it they want they just want it fixed but they don't want to actually Advocate or they
00:59:59
don't want to pick up a pinky to actually help fix it right and I think so hopefully we're coming out of that
01:00:05
now into more of a generation of people who go no I in addition to advocating for my kid and seeing the problems that
01:00:11
exist inside of the schooling system as it sits in the US I want to be involved I want to be involved and I want to
01:00:17
figure out what that means to help you know because that's when it comes to public private like that a teach teacher
01:00:24
even even in the home school Realm there's that that that's important too
01:00:28
right like like having the volunteers that are on the Committees for like an achieve organization that we were a part
01:00:36
of right like like okay well how can you you know how do you help mold and guide this
01:00:45
organization to meet the needs of the parents that are now involved in it right and and we need those we need
01:00:52
those people right and we need that engagement you know it's not just it's
01:00:57
not a Magic Bullet like you know oh I'm just going to homeschool my kids and
01:01:00
it's all going to be you know you know unicorns and Roses it's it's you know we
01:01:07
still have to address things you know like how so and and I still have to you know need I need
01:01:17
you know like I don't know there's there's resources that I think are
01:01:20
helpful and and to get involved with those resources so that you can that's you like them best benefit from them but
01:01:28
also give back to them you know yeah I was going to kind of not end with this but I I do want to ask this question of
01:01:37
parents is and and for you I'm G to it's a two-fold question so okay the first
01:01:43
part of the question is going to be for parents who are thinking about homeschooling their kids what is like
01:01:49
the one piece of advice you would give them of just like whether it's like think about you know think about this
01:01:55
thing that maybe they're not thinking about um or you know or I would have done this differently or whatever that
01:02:01
might be and then the second tier to this question the second part of this question is specifically for dads who
01:02:07
are about to be homeschool fathers and I think this goes more for Just Dads in general what is like one piece of advice
01:02:14
you would give them to be a better father so take that as as you will so for parents okay so so for
01:02:24
parents in general [Music] um I I think um one of the things that comes to mind is is it is it is
01:02:42
um you can think outside the box right like like it doesn't have to look like
01:02:48
Traditional School don't don't get caught up in that um I want to homeschool my kids but
01:02:55
it has to look like this right and I think like initially that was one of our things that we struggled with because
01:03:04
like you know both your mom and I had used the Becca curriculum the Becca not that it's not a good curriculum the
01:03:13
Becca curriculum in private schools that we both had attended and and we liked it
01:03:19
and it worked well and so when we first home school we picked that but then that
01:03:24
didn't work well in our homeschool setting we felt like we had to do these certain standards or do a pick a whole
01:03:33
curriculum right then we learned that oh we can Cobble this together however we want we can pick this we can pick this
01:03:43
over here we like this better over here doesn't have to be one unified CCB now
01:03:48
some people maybe that works better for some people for us it didn't work so
01:03:52
like I would just encourage to like we were for well I know for me I was a little bit stuck in that box
01:04:01
initially but after you know at the end you know like you and I we did history by watching World War II history movies
01:04:11
or or war movies right that was one of the ways we did history yeah and so and that was a lot of fun that was kind of
01:04:18
cool but and there was things to be learned from that and and so and then there was also ways that we took books
01:04:25
you know and we took current books that were controversial um uh one of them was
01:04:36
um the D Vinci Code The Da Vinci Code and we read it together and we discussed it right and so and it was controversial
01:04:45
in our circles and and but but we weren't as like don't be scared to take
01:04:52
that on and like bring a and open up the discussion about well what do you see and what are these characters like and
01:04:59
and what does this really mean and why are people like up why is this controversial right like right
01:05:07
especially the vi code because I mean says in literally the first page of the book this is a work of fiction um right
01:05:14
so right this is a novel this isn't you know but part of it is like the way the
01:05:20
author sketches the characters right the Char the main character is a expert in his field and so you you know
01:05:29
so he writes him as an expert well and he talks like an expert but then people like just think of it as like well
01:05:37
that's an expert well it's a character it's a novel he can write whatever he
01:05:41
wants right yeah like and the thing and I think and one of the things that I like about that like I like that we
01:05:48
could take those books and we could discuss the ideas and we could talk about well he's drawing these ideas from
01:05:56
this painting of The Last Supper that was done by Da Vinci who lived how many hundreds of years after the first supper
01:06:06
even occurred so the painter in and of himself is doing a depiction of something that he
01:06:13
didn't see right firsthand and yet we're drawing all these you know the the the
01:06:20
character in the novel is drawing all these conclusions about the Life of Christ from this picture that was in of
01:06:28
itself an interpretation of something that he didn't firsthand witness and so
01:06:32
like I don't know like so that we could talk about those things like right we
01:06:35
yeah we applied the thing is we applied logic to things and arguments that people were making around these tough
01:06:42
topics that it's like right yeah books came out all the time that it was just
01:06:46
like right especially yeah growing up in the church it's like Rel people would just be up in arms
01:06:52
over these things and then when you really break it down you go okay they just don't like they don't like this
01:06:59
because they don't they just don't like the way it portrays Jesus right right
01:07:02
even though it's a work of fiction it's not real most people the average person
01:07:07
is not reading this and believing that this is true it's really only people inside of the church who are putting
01:07:13
this perception that anybody who's who's not a Christian is reading this and
01:07:19
going thinking they understand the Life of Christ it's like well I don't think
01:07:24
anybody was really doing that it's possible there's always a possibility
01:07:28
but I don't think people were really doing that but we we sat and had conversation around it to be like this
01:07:34
is kind of dumb right yeah and like and like you know it's it's just like any other book
01:07:41
like like you know but like we read historical books like Giant chm and car Mr bovich and those are novels too right
01:07:50
and and it's not to say that the stuff in those books are true they're not true
01:07:54
it's a story but it's a story of the time so it's basically giving you an
01:07:58
illustration of what the period was like and that's why that's how we use them
01:08:02
right yeah it's a good story same with yeah the same with watching all the war
01:08:06
movies yeah same with watching all the war movies we did it's a movie we would
01:08:11
watch Saving Private Ryan but then we would also read you know a firsthand account or we would do research onto
01:08:18
what actually happened and things like that right and right so it's like yeah
01:08:22
this is an illustration of something a visual illustration through a movie but it's telling a story right it's not
01:08:30
necessarily factual it's just that it gives you a flavor it's trying to give
01:08:36
you a flavor For What It's Like right and yeah I don't know so like but I say
01:08:42
that to say don't get stuck like like and we did you know and we tried to do a
01:08:47
Lego curriculum we did other things right like so so so you know and we used air soft as like you've mentioned before
01:08:57
in your podcast that was my PE Airsoft was like exactly the way I did PE our school was very untraditional at the end
01:09:05
right at the end there was curriculum but there was very it it was not yeah the at the start it was very like we're
01:09:13
just doing this is the curriculum it's all from the same company and then by
01:09:17
the end it was like we're doing this company's math and this company's
01:09:21
science books and this company's this and that company's that right and then
01:09:24
we're designing our own what ever else you know so it became something that worked for us and so I appreciate you
01:09:30
saying that because I think I think parents get overwhelmed at the beginning of the because there's so many choices
01:09:38
well you don't want to do it wrong right well what well there's not there's not a
01:09:44
wrong right there's there's you you you start somewhere and then you you adapt
01:09:51
and you you Evol you know you you evolve and you brow and what you you're learning yourself and and you're you're
01:10:00
changing that and you're seeing what works with your student you're customizing the education as you go
01:10:06
along you know Madison's look different from yours because we had learning challenges that you didn't have and so
01:10:14
we had to figure out well you know how can she capture this information you know
01:10:22
and it was very different than the way that you captured information so so so I say all that to
01:10:27
say you know try try as best as you can to think outside the box and then don't don't sweat it you know I guess
01:10:40
don't sweat it so hard your kids your kids are sponges they want to learn if
01:10:45
you turn on that learning you know if you if you find out what if you can pursue what their interests are and and
01:10:56
and it doesn't mean that you don't add in critical things it just means that
01:11:02
you can lean into their interest to give them the energy and the desire to learn
01:11:10
if you build that in them and make and and and teach them how to be Learners I think that's the most
01:11:20
critical part right um so you know if you can like that fire um so that they become lifelong
01:11:29
Learners right and you're lighting that fire so that you're finding their
01:11:33
interest you're stoking it it's not that you're not adding in things that they
01:11:38
don't like that that they need or that that they're critical to you know their
01:11:44
their learning and their adapting and life skills but you know you can Stoke it so that the you know I think the goal
01:11:54
is for them to become lifelong burners I I think that's one of the goals right so
01:12:00
um I think that's the best I think that's one of the best ways you can serve your kids so that's what I that's
01:12:07
I guess that's some of the advice I would give um for dads fathers husbands um I would
01:12:16
say um uh jump in earlier than I did um I I would say you know be involved as you can be like like
01:12:29
it was really [Music] um uh I mean I was blessed by it all you know um like honestly as a kid you know I was
01:12:43
a Math and Science Guy especially numers spoke to me they still do that's what I
01:12:48
do I'm an accountant um but through homeschooling I become an Avid Reader quite honestly because it
01:12:59
didn't matter like we we watched every single movie ever made of Pride and Prejudice and it didn't matter how good
01:13:08
the movie was mom always said the book's better so I I couldn't believe it I had
01:13:14
to read the book and sure enough the book is better well guess what the book is always better in every single movies
01:13:20
even the movies that I love like Lone Survivor I love the movie but the book is better right like like like and I I
01:13:31
read the book first thank goodness right so like but I but it's just the way it
01:13:36
is you know yeah books are better they can be more detailed you it's different
01:13:41
they're different mediums of communication right right but I say that and I also say to Father like I would
01:13:49
say to fathers you know be more involved be advocate be an advocate for your your kids your wife what you're
01:14:02
doing um one of the one of the important I we didn't touch on this but one of the important
01:14:10
things that we learned to do that that I actually learned through going to some of these conferences was
01:14:19
actually a period while we were homeschooling we were int mom and I were intentional about um
01:14:29
going away uh for a couple of nights uh we tried to do it like every quarter like so every three months or so to you
01:14:40
know get away couple nights in a hotel just time for us uh but also so but what that did
01:14:49
was um I mean it was important for our marriage you and our relationship it was an important break for her
01:14:59
because the bulk of the responsibility laid on her shoulders right and then but and it was and it was also important to
01:15:09
get away because it could it removed her from the environment right like it we couldn't just stay at home
01:15:16
because all the concerns and the responsibilities are still she looks around and they're still there right but
01:15:24
if we could go to a hotel that was nice she could she didn't have to look at the
01:15:30
laundry pile or the pile of dishes or you know oh I have to plan dinner for the kids right it was like removing some
01:15:39
of that and allowing you know giving her a break giving us time to connect as a couple um was was was important uh for
01:15:52
us and I think important you know and we could talk about homeschooling stuff we
01:15:57
could talk about that and we could talk about Direction and and where we wanted to go and what's working what's not
01:16:03
working but you don't have to you can it's opportunity to but um I I think
01:16:12
that that was that's important so so like taking care of um of that and just
01:16:18
being um being involved being engaged trying to um to figure out and enter into the world
01:16:32
of your kids in their interests so that you can develop those relationships like like I
01:16:41
think that's um you know ideally we want people to enter into our world right but like but
01:16:49
with your kids I think you need to find out well what are where is their interest lies so you can in with them
01:16:56
right because you're communicating to them well this you are important to me
01:17:01
I'm entering in with you you know while you were in school you enjoyed music and
01:17:07
guitar and like that was just not in my realm or not in my wheelhouse but it didn't mean that I couldn't you
01:17:15
know listen to you play and just like talk about music that even though I was very not knowledgeable at
01:17:23
all um yeah well just show interest right and like support you and and W to like like encourage that and see you
01:17:34
develop that and and and try right like like I was not a musician I couldn't
01:17:39
really get the guitar I wasn't good with my hands you know like but I could like
01:17:45
show me some stuff I'll try I'll I'll I won't suceed very well but like I'll
01:17:50
just try you know and and I think that that attitude has really gone far in US continuing to have a relationship it's
01:18:02
like to the degree that we do right it's like I think a lot of people they have a
01:18:05
relationship with their dad but it's like I see them at the holidays and we play cards and you know or I call him
01:18:12
and and I ask him how he is and it's like five seconds on the phone and then
01:18:15
it's like you know here's your mom you know kind of a thing and and I think the
01:18:20
difference is that you showed me so much respect when I was in high school when I
01:18:24
was younger of like you were into the things that I was into and even when you clearly weren't into them you at least
01:18:29
tried you know and now as an adult you still do that the things that I'm interested in you express an interest
01:18:36
and you ask me about them and you ask me about those hobbies and you learn about
01:18:41
them and you enter into that world with me right and I now want to do the same for you it's like I know more about
01:18:50
obstacle corpse racing than I ever thought I would right I have bought I have bought you gear for presents and
01:18:57
stuff that I I didn't even know what it was I bought my dad a big set of red
01:19:00
balls that hang in the garage somewhere um uh for like finger exercising yeah grip grip training um I tried to get
01:19:09
them in blue guys I thought it'd be really funny gift um but they only came in Red so yeah so anyway but I think
01:19:18
it's it's interesting because I think that that has it's definitely shaped the
01:19:22
relationship that we have today and I I think we have a good relationship because we both I think mutually can
01:19:29
just meet in a place where it's like maybe your thing isn't totally my thing
01:19:33
but I at least want to understand and I'm willing to have a conversation and
01:19:36
learn about it because you showed me that respect when I was young and now I understand what you were doing and
01:19:44
I want to reciprocate right and that also has gone far in other relationships that I have so well good I'm glad to
01:19:50
hear that that's thank you well I love you dad I love you thank you for coming
01:19:57
on the show this has been awesome it's been a pleasure thank you for inviting
01:20:01
me and and letting me letting me just give my two cents I guess no I think it's important because
01:20:10
you know I I'm meeting more more homeschooled people and hearing their stories and
01:20:17
hearing about their dad's involvement and then also meeting people who are thinking about homeschooling and their
01:20:23
wanting to be involved in their son's lives and like I don't know I just I
01:20:28
felt like it was an important conversation to have because I felt like your role in my hes school education was
01:20:34
different than most most people's and so and I wanted it to be if anything else
01:20:39
people what I want you to get out of this is hopefully an encouragement to like just like my dad said be an
01:20:44
advocate for yeah your kids education for if you're not a parent for kids in
01:20:49
your life education you know um one of the things I would say say too for dads is dads it's we do things
01:21:00
different we we you know um and it's okay like like and and like I think I told Su mom this when when I when when
01:21:11
we you know kind of were transitioning to me leading your education I said well it's going to look different right it's
01:21:16
not going to look how you necessarily want it to look okay we're gonna you know you're going to help me out a lot
01:21:25
lesson planning but the way it's going to get implemented is probably going to
01:21:29
look completely different from what where you think how you would implement it right and that's okay dads do things
01:21:35
different it's not right or wrong it's different and that's okay dads you you
01:21:43
it's important that's important too like like the way that you do things uh is important it has
01:21:51
value it it it can be it's meaningful and it can look different it doesn't
01:21:57
have to look it it doesn't even have to look like other dads it can be your style and that's okay and um and just
01:22:08
embrace it um and work with it like like and and use that you know and I think that's that's okay like I think that's a
01:22:18
good thing it it it brings diversity it brings you know diversity of thought and
01:22:25
just difference that you know kidss can see oh well it doesn't always have to be
01:22:29
like this it can be like this and like it's okay that Mom does it different from Dad and we're still
01:22:37
gonna we may get to the same place but we may take a different circuitous route it's like like but okay it's still it
01:22:46
might be harder it might be funner it might I don't know it's going to look
01:22:51
different but but we'll you know we'll still we can still accomplish a lot so
01:22:57
yeah I want to leave on this one I I've been having memories pop up in my head
01:23:04
okay and um I was GNA I was going to ask you like your favorite homeschool memory
01:23:09
and but I feel like maybe I'm I feel like homeschool I feel like Airsoft was
01:23:14
kind of the the key thing but I but I had this other memory come to my mind that I was like this is also I think
01:23:21
really fun when I was a kid my birthday party were very like themed um and so one year we did like marshmallow guns in
01:23:31
the backyard and I built them all and like um but the but that's so that one
01:23:37
was important but the second one was that I did a pirate themed birthday party we all dressed as pirates and you
01:23:44
showed up as a pirate and I think that like we had a we had a pirate flag flying out the roof of our house it was
01:23:51
so much fun like you you helped transform this whole house into a pirate ship and yeah we put a plank off the
01:23:58
back we have exactly there's a cliff off the back of our yard yeah people could
01:24:03
walk the plank yeah people weren't walking the plank but we could if we wanted to
01:24:08
um so I just think memories like that are just like super fun and important yeah do you remember was it was it the
01:24:15
pirate was it the pirate birthday that we had the jello eating contest yes yeah so that was did someone
01:24:24
like slurp down their fake mustache I ate my mustache so so this birthday we in addition to only like we dress every
01:24:32
we invited everyone to dress like Pirates but then we also bought a bunch of like fake mustaches and sideburns and
01:24:37
like all this stuff beards and all this stuff that were just like stick on very temporary we had swords for everybody
01:24:43
eye patches bandanas like the whole you know she yeah and yeah and then we did all these games that were like pirate
01:24:51
themed games and but one of them was jealous slipping which I guess is not really a pirate themed game but I don't
01:24:56
know we made it somehow pirate we made it we get we called it something that made it pirate yeah and uh but yeah I
01:25:03
slurped up my my mustach like I started and I had a mustache and I ended and I did not have a mustache so it's probably
01:25:10
still kicking around down there all these years later but oh well yeah yeah that was a lot of fun
01:25:19
anyway this this has been a blast and thank you again for doing this because I think it's important and and a lot of
01:25:25
people have been asking to hear from parents so cool good well I'm I'm happy
01:25:30
to do this and thank you for inviting me on and um I I just yeah I just I I wish
01:25:38
the best uh for this and and the audience that hears it yeah well thank you again
01:25:46
and for all of you guys listening watching consuming thank you so much for tuning in um if you want to hit me up
01:25:53
with if you've got homeschool stories or you you want to tell me who else you
01:25:59
want to see on the show or you got questions you want to answer or whatever you can hit me up there's two ways you
01:26:03
can do it you can either email me it's at exhs [email protected] or you can hit me up on I think I'm on
01:26:11
Instagram Tik Tok and threads it's at exhs Club um yeah either of those places
01:26:17
you can get a hold of me this has been fun and until next week we'll see you
01:26:22
all right peace [Music] [Music]