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my grandpa died

April 27, 2026 / 16:35

This episode features Jacob Cogan discussing personal updates, the passing of his grandfather, and the future of the X Homescholars Club podcast. Key topics include grief, the show's return, and upcoming events.

Jacob shares his experience with the loss of his grandfather, whom he affectionately called Poppy. He recounts the emotional journey of dealing with his grandfather's hospitalization and eventual passing, emphasizing the complexities of grief.

The episode also addresses the podcast's hiatus and reassures listeners that the show is not canceled. Jacob expresses excitement about upcoming episodes and the potential for new guests.

Listeners are informed about the Day of the Homeschool Kid event on April 30th, featuring a conversation with author Steven Merrill Block. Jacob encourages participation and engagement with the homeschooling community.

Additionally, Jacob discusses plans for a potential ex-homeschooler happy hour and a book club centered around the book "Homeschooled." He invites listeners to share their stories and experiences related to homeschooling.

TL;DR

Jacob Cogan shares personal updates, discusses grief, and announces the podcast's return with new events and guest opportunities.

Episode

16:35
00:00:00
Where the heck have I been? Is the show
00:00:01
canceled? And did Jacob finally lose his
00:00:04
mind? Uh all these questions and more
00:00:07
going to be answered on this special
00:00:08
edition of the X Homescholars Club.
00:00:15
What is good my X Homies? It's your boy
00:00:17
Jacob Cogan and uh
00:00:19
if you hadn't noticed, the show's been
00:00:21
pretty silent for the last almost 2
00:00:23
months. Um
00:00:25
and there's good reason for that.
00:00:27
But I'm going to tell you why. Um
00:00:30
So, this episode
00:00:32
a little bit different than usual. Uh
00:00:34
it's going to be a little life update.
00:00:35
We're going to do a show update as well
00:00:37
as some special announcement type stuff.
00:00:40
And so,
00:00:41
let's just start with the life stuff um
00:00:43
because that's really the catalyst for
00:00:46
why I haven't been around.
00:00:48
So, at the end of March um I got a phone
00:00:50
call that nobody ever really wants to
00:00:52
get. Um and that was that my grandfather
00:00:56
uh we call him Poppy
00:00:58
uh
00:00:58
was in the hospital with some heart
00:01:01
stuff. And
00:01:03
you never want to hear that somebody's
00:01:04
in the hospital. It's just never
00:01:06
great news. But this was not
00:01:08
this was really not great news. And um
00:01:11
things were very complicated. Um and so,
00:01:14
for about a week, things would kind of
00:01:15
flop between there being hope for his
00:01:19
recovery to it being very dire. Um he
00:01:23
was sick with some other stuff in there
00:01:25
as well. And so, it just was this very
00:01:27
complicated
00:01:28
um thing. And uh if you don't know, I
00:01:32
don't live near my granddad. Um he lives
00:01:35
in California. I live in Tennessee.
00:01:37
Not the most convenient to just hop in a
00:01:39
car um and drive all that way or even
00:01:42
hop on a plane
00:01:43
um because it's expensive and uh
00:01:46
time-consuming. And so, anyway, so for
00:01:48
about a week,
00:01:50
I just kind of existed in this very
00:01:53
question mark of what is going on in my
00:01:55
life
00:01:56
um and had to somewhat operate as if
00:01:59
life was normal even though it very much
00:02:01
was not and it was not in my head. So, I
00:02:03
had decided I'm not going to put the
00:02:05
show out that week.
00:02:07
And cuz it was just too much to handle.
00:02:10
And
00:02:11
uh, later on that week I got a another
00:02:14
phone call um,
00:02:15
very early in the morning that he passed
00:02:18
away.
00:02:19
And he went peacefully and leading up to
00:02:22
him dying
00:02:24
he got to spend time with his kids. He
00:02:25
got to spend time with uh, his siblings
00:02:28
and um,
00:02:30
us grandkids, we didn't get to go see
00:02:32
him, but we got to send him messages
00:02:34
um, of love and and
00:02:37
remembering
00:02:38
um,
00:02:39
the good the good stuff.
00:02:41
And um, and that's why we didn't get to
00:02:43
go see him either was he didn't want us
00:02:45
to see him be sick. He wanted us to
00:02:47
remember him
00:02:48
healthier and
00:02:50
just who he was. The normal the normal
00:02:53
Poppy. Um,
00:02:55
and so anyway,
00:02:57
um,
00:02:58
but
00:02:59
like every death uh, it's typically
00:03:01
followed by a funeral and so
00:03:03
um,
00:03:04
so I ended up going out to California
00:03:06
and was there for most of April. Um, I
00:03:09
actually just I flew out on the 1st and
00:03:12
I didn't get home until the 20th. And so
00:03:15
um,
00:03:16
just a lot of time spent with family
00:03:19
doing funeral stuff
00:03:21
uh, helping clean out his house
00:03:23
dealing with with things um,
00:03:27
doing a lot of like remembrance type
00:03:29
stuff and
00:03:30
just spending time with family honestly
00:03:32
because even though
00:03:35
that those times are like very sad,
00:03:38
right? Because you just lost a loved
00:03:40
one, there's also
00:03:42
I think sometimes some joy that can be
00:03:44
found in there, right? Remembering their
00:03:46
life and the funny moments and the
00:03:49
stupid moments and the the games and the
00:03:52
adventures and the life lessons and all
00:03:54
those types of things. So,
00:03:57
we did a lot of that and um
00:04:00
which is good. It's
00:04:02
you know, it's healing.
00:04:04
Um
00:04:05
and then came home and
00:04:09
it grief really hit. This has
00:04:13
been a very interesting
00:04:15
um
00:04:17
experience
00:04:19
um
00:04:20
with grief. Uh I've lost all four of my
00:04:23
grandparents now and I lost my first
00:04:26
grandparent when I was 17
00:04:28
um and I'm 29 now. Uh
00:04:32
each one hits so vastly different um
00:04:35
from a grief perspective and I can't
00:04:38
even like
00:04:39
begin to describe uh the emotions
00:04:42
surrounding it. And if you've lost loved
00:04:44
ones, you probably know what I'm talking
00:04:46
about how it's different
00:04:48
uh every single time.
00:04:51
This is both the most emotionally
00:04:53
healthy I felt um losing a grandparent
00:04:55
and also like
00:04:57
the worst experience because I'm just
00:05:00
insanely emotional uh around everything
00:05:04
now. So, if you can't tell by me
00:05:07
describing this, it's a little bit
00:05:09
touchy still and overwhelming. Um
00:05:13
and it's just been tough. And so, the
00:05:14
whole month of April
00:05:16
basically became a wash um and I decided
00:05:19
I'm just going to put the show on pause.
00:05:22
I kept telling myself, you need to like
00:05:23
make an announcement. You need to you
00:05:25
know, tell people and I just was like I
00:05:27
couldn't even do that. Um
00:05:30
And so, um yeah. So, April was basically
00:05:34
a wash um
00:05:36
for both good and bad reasons.
00:05:38
Um
00:05:39
But where does that put us today? Is the
00:05:41
show canceled? No, absolutely not. Uh
00:05:43
we're not going anywhere.
00:05:45
Um in fact,
00:05:47
very much the opposite. The show has
00:05:49
been doing incredible things even while
00:05:52
we've been on break and just seeing uh
00:05:56
numbers continue like go up and I know
00:05:59
not everything is numbers, but it is
00:06:00
nice to know that people are listening
00:06:02
um to back catalog stuff and um I've
00:06:06
received messages and people wanting to
00:06:08
be on the show and opportunities and the
00:06:10
and things that I am just very excited
00:06:12
for uh the future of where the show is
00:06:15
going. So,
00:06:16
that being said, when is it actually
00:06:17
coming back? Well, it's coming back this
00:06:18
Friday. Um, I've got an interview with
00:06:22
RB. If you guys don't remember RB, he
00:06:24
was on previously. He's back. We're
00:06:26
going to talk about some very cool
00:06:28
things, but I'll let you find out on
00:06:29
Friday uh all of those things. So,
00:06:33
So, we're back. We're coming back. Um,
00:06:35
and not only are we coming back, but I'm
00:06:38
also going to try to put out an episode
00:06:40
every week in the month of May and get
00:06:42
back on a weekly schedule. Uh
00:06:46
because I've got just a nice back
00:06:48
catalog right now of people and I got a
00:06:50
nice plethora of guests coming on. And
00:06:53
so,
00:06:54
there's that. We are headed in a good
00:06:56
direction, I guess, is what I'm trying
00:06:58
to say with the show. So, in addition to
00:07:00
the show coming back, I've also got some
00:07:02
special announcements. The first one
00:07:04
being something that's actually
00:07:05
happening this week, specifically on
00:07:08
April 30th. And um that is that April
00:07:11
30th is day of the homeschool kid, the
00:07:14
homeschool child. And um
00:07:16
did you know that? I didn't know that
00:07:18
until
00:07:19
last month uh
00:07:21
sometime, but the Coalition for
00:07:23
Responsible Home uh Education is putting
00:07:26
on a great conversation with um Steven
00:07:29
Merrill Block. And if you're not
00:07:31
familiar with Steven, um he just wrote a
00:07:33
book called Homeschooled. If you haven't
00:07:36
read this, it's a great book. Um I
00:07:38
actually would love to reread it with
00:07:40
maybe some of you. More on that in a
00:07:42
minute.
00:07:43
Um
00:07:44
but yeah, he's going to be talking about
00:07:46
his homeschool experience. He's going to
00:07:47
talk about what the coalition does. It's
00:07:50
just going to be a really cool time. So,
00:07:52
that's happening on Thursday at 2:00
00:07:55
Eastern time. I'm going to put a link
00:07:57
down in the description um of how you
00:07:59
can sign up to attend um or you can just
00:08:02
go to crhe.org
00:08:04
{dot} org uh /dothc
00:08:08
day of the homeschooled child. Um again,
00:08:12
that's crhe.org
00:08:15
/dothc.
00:08:17
I know, a lot of letters. It's going to
00:08:19
be linked down below as well, but go get
00:08:21
on that list. They'll send you an
00:08:22
update. Get on their newsletter list,
00:08:24
too. If you're not familiar with the
00:08:25
Coalition for Responsible Home
00:08:26
Education, specifically a lot of what
00:08:28
they do is work with homeschool alumni
00:08:31
to help kind of shape uh
00:08:33
some of the direction that uh
00:08:36
legislation can can take to to help
00:08:38
homeschool kids down the line um and
00:08:40
protect homeschool kids. So, it's a lot
00:08:42
about giving homeschool kids rights um
00:08:45
and access to things and stuff like
00:08:47
that. So, very cool organization. She's
00:08:48
going to come back on at some point.
00:08:50
We've got potentially some other stuff
00:08:52
in the works with them, as well. But,
00:08:53
very cool organization. Again, go sign
00:08:55
up. Day of the Homeschool Kid. It's
00:08:57
going to be a lot of fun. Um you can ask
00:08:59
Stephen questions um as well as hear
00:09:02
more about his story and hopefully he'll
00:09:04
come on the show at some point. I would
00:09:06
love to have him on. So, here's a little
00:09:08
plug for that. Um
00:09:10
second special announcement, also kind
00:09:12
of just like an ask in general, is that
00:09:14
I want to do a
00:09:16
ex-homeschooler happy hour type of thing
00:09:19
and I want to hang out with a bunch of
00:09:21
you guys all at the same time.
00:09:23
Play games, be stupid, tell stories,
00:09:26
that kind of a thing. And so, I'm going
00:09:27
to post more about that on Instagram um
00:09:30
and get kind of some feedback on
00:09:32
potential days we could do it, as well
00:09:34
as like maybe things you guys would want
00:09:35
to do. but I'm thinking
00:09:37
play some games, maybe like bingo,
00:09:40
trivia, I I don't really know.
00:09:43
Um but hang out, have some conversation
00:09:45
around our home school experiences and
00:09:47
and how that shaped us maybe. And so,
00:09:50
anyway, so if you're interested in that,
00:09:51
let me know. Um I'm thinking somewhere
00:09:54
between May 11th and the 24th. I know
00:09:56
that's a big wide window, but if you are
00:09:59
interested in that and have some
00:10:00
feedback or something, you can drop a
00:10:02
comment down below or shoot me an email
00:10:06
And yeah, would love to like hear your
00:10:09
thoughts on it. But uh I'm also going to
00:10:10
be posting more about it, I think, on
00:10:12
Instagram, trying to pull you guys a
00:10:14
little bit and figure out some some good
00:10:16
info, hopefully. So, there's that.
00:10:19
Additionally, I kind of had mentioned
00:10:22
book club. I know in the past I had
00:10:24
brought up doing a book club and reading
00:10:26
a different book, and then I just
00:10:27
totally dropped the ball. It's something
00:10:29
I would like to do again, and I would
00:10:31
like to read Homeschooled, um Stuff and
00:10:33
Stuff's book. And I have read this
00:10:35
already, um but I would I would like to
00:10:38
reread it and maybe do some discussion
00:10:40
on it. And so, if that's something
00:10:41
you're interested in, also
00:10:44
leave a comment down below, send me an
00:10:46
00:10:49
I'm thinking start it sometime in May,
00:10:52
mid-May, maybe around the 15th-ish,
00:10:55
maybe just call it right there, smack
00:10:56
dab in the middle. Um and so, I'm
00:10:58
currently working
00:11:00
on figuring out what that would look
00:11:02
like and then do some discussion around
00:11:04
that as well. And so, anyway, so if
00:11:07
you're interested in that and haven't
00:11:08
picked up this book,
00:11:09
gives you about 2 weeks to like grab a
00:11:11
copy, and gives me 2 weeks to figure out
00:11:15
how we split that up. Um
00:11:18
so yeah.
00:11:19
If that's something you're interested
00:11:20
in, shoot me an email, a DM, comment
00:11:22
down below, any of that kind of stuff.
00:11:25
Um next up,
00:11:27
I've gotten a lot of requests um for
00:11:29
guesting on the show. And so, if you
00:11:32
want to be a guest,
00:11:33
I want to talk about it. Uh
00:11:35
you can shoot me an email,
00:11:39
Uh how many times can I say that in this
00:11:41
in this uh episode? Um but, shoot me an
00:11:44
email. Let me know a little bit about
00:11:46
yourself, like just like a paragraph or
00:11:48
two about your homeschool experience.
00:11:51
Um
00:11:52
And maybe some topics you would be
00:11:54
interested in. If there's something
00:11:55
specific you've either heard on the show
00:11:57
that you want to expand on, something
00:11:58
you haven't heard on the show that you
00:12:00
would like to talk about. Um
00:12:02
specifically things that like I've been
00:12:04
very interested in lately, um aside from
00:12:07
just like hearing your experiences, is
00:12:09
talking about the role that religion has
00:12:11
played in homeschooling. Um I'm
00:12:13
interested in obviously talk about if
00:12:15
you have something like ADHD, if you're
00:12:18
autistic, um and maybe you got diagnosed
00:12:20
later in life, or if you got diagnosed
00:12:22
when you were a homeschool kid, or just
00:12:24
as a kid in general, um how that's kind
00:12:26
of shaped into your homeschool
00:12:28
experience, or you know, made you think
00:12:30
about those things.
00:12:32
Um
00:12:33
Obviously, we talk about big homeschool
00:12:35
family versus small homeschool family.
00:12:37
I'm one of two kids. Um so, small
00:12:40
homeschool family over here. Um I very
00:12:43
much I'm interested in that dynamic
00:12:45
along the religion aspect, like purity
00:12:47
culture played a huge role for me.
00:12:50
Um and just like unpacking the good, the
00:12:53
bad, and the ugly. Um right? We don't
00:12:55
necessarily want to just do If your
00:12:57
experience was bad, like that's okay. Um
00:13:00
I still believe that there's always good
00:13:02
things that can be pulled out of those
00:13:04
experiences. And so, hopefully, if you
00:13:07
want to come on the show and you want to
00:13:08
have a conversation, like I hope that
00:13:09
you can like view it the same way of
00:13:11
just like there are good things that we
00:13:13
can talk about mixed in with the bad and
00:13:16
the ugly. Um
00:13:17
it's about providing commentary around
00:13:19
homeschooling
00:13:21
and what the experience really was like,
00:13:22
right? And so, if it's all bad, it's all
00:13:24
bad. That's okay. Um if it's all good,
00:13:27
it's all good.
00:13:29
That's okay.
00:13:30
So, if you've got a story and you want
00:13:32
to share it, shoot me an email. Again,
00:13:36
I think that's the sixth time I've said
00:13:37
it now.
00:13:38
Um,
00:13:39
but yeah, what you can kind of expect
00:13:41
like following that email would be a
00:13:43
request to do like pre-interview call
00:13:45
with me. Typically, they're 30 minutes.
00:13:48
Sometimes they go up to an hour long if
00:13:49
we really
00:13:51
hit it off. Um, and it's just a chance
00:13:53
to like for me to kind of like further
00:13:55
vet you, get to know you a little bit,
00:13:57
um, and figure out
00:14:00
kind of what a show would look like. Um,
00:14:02
and also ease your mind if you're at all
00:14:04
nervous about coming on the show.
00:14:06
Um,
00:14:07
you know, I can answer questions around
00:14:09
those types of things. Um, what is kind
00:14:11
of like required of you? One, the
00:14:14
ability to share your story. Um,
00:14:16
but secondly, you need to be able to
00:14:18
record audio and video.
00:14:20
Um, if you've got a microphone, awesome.
00:14:22
If not, that's okay. We can work around
00:14:24
that. Um, and typically, it's best to be
00:14:27
able to record on a computer if you've
00:14:28
got it. Um, I have done stuff on phones
00:14:31
and iPads and things like that, but it
00:14:33
does change the dynamic. So,
00:14:35
you know, um, keep that in mind as well
00:14:38
if you want to do this. Like, it's best
00:14:40
if you've got like a laptop or a
00:14:41
computer with a webcam
00:14:43
and some kind of audio device, even just
00:14:45
headphones.
00:14:46
Um,
00:14:47
is is helpful. And so, um, yeah.
00:14:50
And then, last thing I want to touch on
00:14:52
is the newsletter, right? Um, I'm going
00:14:55
to put a link on the screen, also down
00:14:58
in the description below if you want to
00:14:59
get on the email newsletter.
00:15:01
I send it out basically whenever an
00:15:04
episode comes out. Um,
00:15:07
I know I was kind of doing every 2 weeks
00:15:09
uh, an episode comes out and then kind
00:15:10
of fill in the gaps with some other
00:15:12
stuff. We'll see. The newsletter might
00:15:13
be shifting a little bit, but it
00:15:15
typically comes out between one one time
00:15:17
a week to uh, every 2 weeks. And it's
00:15:21
just kind of updates like episodes that
00:15:23
came out, resources I found,
00:15:26
books I'm reading.
00:15:29
Who knows? There's been other stuff that
00:15:30
feeds in there as well.
00:15:32
Um, in addition to that, I'm also like
00:15:34
trying very hard to build a website on
00:15:37
the back of it uh where all of those
00:15:39
posts as well as like
00:15:41
stuff about books I read, resources,
00:15:45
that kind of thing is going to live as
00:15:46
well. And so, all that going to be
00:15:48
linked down below.
00:15:50
Um, and I would love for you to like get
00:15:52
on there. That's going to be ultimately
00:15:54
the best way to like stay connected with
00:15:56
the show would be through through email
00:15:59
um the email newsletter itself. So,
00:16:02
all that being said,
00:16:04
I'm okay.
00:16:06
Life sucks sometimes.
00:16:07
Uh, the show is coming back, which is a
00:16:09
great thing and um
00:16:12
I'm looking forward to seeing you guys
00:16:13
on Friday. Okay. I'm going to go.
00:16:17
I'll see you later. Peace.

Badges

This episode stands out for the following:

  • 85
    Most heartbreaking
  • 80
    Most emotional
  • 75
    Most heartwarming
  • 70
    Most dramatic

Episode Highlights

  • Life Update and Show Return
    Jacob shares a heartfelt update about his life and the return of the show.
    “The show is coming back, which is a great thing.”
    @ 16m 09s
    April 27, 2026

Episode Quotes

  • Grief really hit.
    my grandpa died
  • Life sucks sometimes.
    my grandpa died
  • The show is coming back, which is a great thing.
    my grandpa died

Key Moments

  • Life Update00:34
  • Loss of Grandfather02:18
  • Grief Journey04:23
  • Show Return06:18
  • Homeschool Kid Day07:14
  • Community Engagement09:16

Words per Minute Over Time

Vibes Breakdown

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Where Have I Been?
Purity Rings, Weird Analogies, and Why Sex Felt Wrong | EXHS #27
February 13, 2025
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01:08:20
Purity Rings, Weird Analogies, and Why Sex Felt Wrong | EXHS #27
A Quick Update
November 20, 2024
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01:40
A Quick Update
What I Learned Growing Up Homeschooled (And What I Missed) | EXHS #49
September 04, 2025
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01:02:47
What I Learned Growing Up Homeschooled (And What I Missed) | EXHS #49
What Happens When Homeschool Kids Finally Enter the Real World?
May 15, 2026
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54:04
What Happens When Homeschool Kids Finally Enter the Real World?
What Happens When a Homeschool Kid Becomes an Art Teacher? | #44
July 17, 2025
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02:23:10
What Happens When a Homeschool Kid Becomes an Art Teacher? | #44
What's Next for the Ex-Homeschoolers Club
December 23, 2025
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08:17
What's Next for the Ex-Homeschoolers Club
A Boy Scouts Guide To Surviving Homeschool | EXHS #15
November 06, 2024
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01:12:33
A Boy Scouts Guide To Surviving Homeschool | EXHS #15
The Shocking Truth About Homeschool vs Public School Education | EXHS #22
January 09, 2025
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58:11
The Shocking Truth About Homeschool vs Public School Education | EXHS #22
Weird Things I Wasn’t Allowed to Do as a Homeschooler | #46
August 07, 2025
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02:23:10
Weird Things I Wasn’t Allowed to Do as a Homeschooler | #46
The Hidden Harm Inside Popular Homeschool Curriculums
July 04, 2025
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02:23:10
The Hidden Harm Inside Popular Homeschool Curriculums
A Very Ex-Homeschooled Thanksgiving | EXHS #18
November 27, 2024
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24:44
A Very Ex-Homeschooled Thanksgiving | EXHS #18