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What is good my ex-homies? It's your boy
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Jacob Gooden and uh we're back another
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week in the exhomeschoolers club. Today
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I'm so honored because I have a
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homeschool mom with us. Uh Kim is
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joining us and I'm so stoked to chat
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with her because she reached out about a
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couple different things and we started
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having conversations around homeschool
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stories, homeschool alumni stories. And
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one of the things that I've noticed a
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lot is that homeschool parents uh and
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homeschool parent alumni kind of they
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get sometimes triggered by some of the
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criticisms that us homeschool alumni
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like give. And Kim was not that way. She
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was very like understanding and wanted
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to listen and understands that a lot of
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what we talk about has more to do with
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like creating kind of like a wish list
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of things that we wish were different
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when we were kids and how can we impact
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the future generations of homeschoolers.
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So, we're going to get into some of
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that, but we're also going to hear Kim's
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story of being a homeschool mom. So,
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Kim, welcome to the Ex Homeschoolers
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Club. So, so happy to have you.
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>> Well, thanks for having me. I appreciate
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it.
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>> Let's kick things off with like your
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homeschool story. So, like tell me a
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little bit about your family and why you
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chose to homeschool your kids and just a
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little bit about like how long you
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homeschooled, the curriculum you used.
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Give us a little like snapshot of that
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whole thing.
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>> Well, my husband and I are both um
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certified teachers. We met in college
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and um we both taught in the classroom
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um
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for a while. I And then when I um when
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we had kids, we always said, you know,
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we could homeschool. Let's homeschool
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our kids. Um we never, you know, anti-
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public education. In fact, he's still a
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classroom teacher now. Um and but but as
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we looked for, you know, what what are
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how are we going to bring up our kids?
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you know, homeschooling was always sort
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of an option um that we wanted to
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explore and the you know, the why. Why
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do you why why do you want to do why do
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you want to homeschool? Um our biggest
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reasoning was because we felt like that
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would help create like a closeness
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within our family. Both of us grew up
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with siblings that we were not very
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close with. And so part of the goal of
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the way that we wanted to parent was to
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give our children each other in the end
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as friends. And so they're going to, you
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know, lean on each other long after
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we're gone. And so that was that was
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really the the the main goal of what we
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were aiming to do. And so, um, it kind
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of set us in in a weird place though
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because, um, back when we were
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homeschooling, back, you know, back back
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in the, you know, dark ages, um, people
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homeschooled and they kind of went into
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it like full full in and said, "We're
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going to homeschool all the way through.
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We're going to homeschool all of the
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kids." And ours was sort of more like a
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yearby-year. Let's evaluate how is this
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going, you know, are we on the right
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path kind of a thing. And so, um, I did
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a lot of, uh, research and, you know,
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using homeschool materials and trying to
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figure out, you know, what what our day
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would look like. It wouldn't look like a
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normal school day cuz I'd been in the
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classroom, you know, open the book, do
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this thing, you know, and like it it
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just wasn't going to be like that. It's
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more like a one room schoolhouse style
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because we have three kids. Um, and they
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were, you know, all two years apart from
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each other. So, there was sort of this
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sort of close-knit like if mama's going
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to read, we're you're all sitting down,
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we're going to read this together. But
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then they had, you know, activities that
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they would do kind of at their own
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levels, too. And the little one would
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wander away when she got bored and go
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find toys and entertain herself, you
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know, somewhere. And um and so, but but
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a lot of our goal was also to just enjoy
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childhood. um not just you know
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facilitating the time that they would
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spend with each other but in general
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just getting the chance to play a lot
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more than kids are getting to do in
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school anymore. They're, you know, here
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hold this pencil, do this worksheet, let
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me grade you on it. And so we were
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trying to get away from that kind of
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explore the possibilities. What what do
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we get to do with our time and enjoy
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ourselves as a family, you know? So with
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that being said then like what are some
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of those like extracurriculars or those
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like additional things that are outside
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of the classroom that you were like
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bringing in because like I know for for
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me my mom we we involved like museums
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was a big part of it and then like as
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far as like whatever extracurriculars we
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were interested like I was a dancer so
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dance was a big part of that and music
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was a big part of our lives and things
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like that. So, what were those
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extracurricular things that you were
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like, "Okay, let's bring those in um to
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our our school."
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>> Um my my oldest daughter was into
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gymnastics. We took her, you know, to
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try to do, you know, just some she was
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always moving and running and enjoyed
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jumping on the trampoline and stuff and
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we were like, "Okay, well, let's let's
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see how she likes gymnastics." And she
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like took to it like like she belonged
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in the gym. and um she ended up spending
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a good bit of time on competitive
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gymnastics as she went along too. So
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part of homeschooling was able to give
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her sort of that time and space to be
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able to devote to that. Um the younger
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ones they were more um you know diverse.
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They couldn't figure you know we tried
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them on t-ball and soccer and
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my my son said halfway through the
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soccer season he's like do I have to go
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practice? And I'm like why? And he's
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like, "Cuz I am tired of running." He
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was never like really super aggressive,
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so he'd like chase the pack. He never
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got to really kick the ball. I'm like,
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"I'd probably be tired of running,
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chasing back and forth with that, too."
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>> So, but they got to, you know, try try
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different things. But, um, the thing
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that really, um, we we spent a good bit
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of time also doing was reading, a lot of
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reading. Um, so a lot of our uh learning
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was literature-based and we found a
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homeschool co-op program that they did a
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period of history and then they did
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literature that surrounded that and then
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did um um fine arts that went along with
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that. So like when we were doing like um
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medieval history, they would read books
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that were about that time. I think
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Pilgrim's Progress or whatever came some
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of that stuff. And um and then uh and
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then they did um you know
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King Arthur and whatever, you know, as a
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play and and artwork that you know uh
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stained glass kind of you know art and
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stuff that went along with those the
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kind of art, music, history that kind of
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tied together all of that. And so we did
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that. I love that because like that's
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what you're describing is very similar
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to like I also had a smaller homeschool
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co-op that was three or four families
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and we would do what you're describing.
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We would pick a a history a period of
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history and we we did have like a
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history textbook that went with it but
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then we would read literature and do
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activities around it and we did some
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really cool stuff. Um, and uh, you know,
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you're talking about like the stained
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glass stuff and we would we would make
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like uh foam weapons that were medieval
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themed cuz a lot of us a lot of us were
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were guys. Um, I think there was only
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like my sister and maybe one other girl.
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And so um, you know, we and then we'd
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beat each other with foam swords and
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stuff like that. Um the one week that I
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we ended up missing, I found out later
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that all the guys had had created uh
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torches and poured gasoline and wrapped
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this thing and were walking around the
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front yard of this house uh carrying
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torches cuz they were going to go like
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stone a witch or something like that.
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And um and it's so funny they got in so
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much trouble, but I was so thankful I
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missed that week. But that was kind of
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the activity levels that my homeschool
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experience uh drew upon to some degree.
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I'm curious about like curriculum and
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and choosing curriculum because you were
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a school teacher. You obviously you're
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in that you were in that world already,
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but when it comes to the homeschool
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curriculum, there is such a wide variety
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of stuff out there. And so what did it
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like how was it going through choosing
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stuff for your kids and like how did
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that change over time? Like was it just
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kind of a matter of figuring out like
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this is not working for this kid so
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we're going to switch to this thing or
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like how was the curriculum choice
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situation? The curriculum that I chose
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in the beginning was five in a row and
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it's still um you know one that's kind
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of popular. It it they've re revised it.
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A lot of the books that they had were
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getting to be out of print and harder to
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find. But um I I liked sort of the
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philosophy of um like offering kids sort
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of like bite-sized, you know,
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information and kind of repetition of
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things. I I I like that that way of
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presenting the information. So, and it
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fit with sort of my um I didn't know at
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the time, but I I I have ADHD, too. Um
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and so my resistance to too much
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routine. I wanted some, you know,
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flexibility and following our interest
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and um for myself as well. And so that
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sort of interest based um project based
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unit studies things like that um were
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very um much my style and personality of
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how I could implement things too. Lots
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of creativity and hands-on, you know,
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crafts and projects and things like
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that. I didn't want to sit and do here
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read this text and do these quizzes and
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um that just didn't appeal to me. I
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didn't like that as a classroom teacher
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having to grade papers.
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So, um, and keep up on that. And so,
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there there was a good bit of th those
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kind of like group projects that were
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hands-on
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um that we did. And then, and then um
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there were materials that I had picked,
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you know, I had never really taught
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anybody how to read. Um, there was um I
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think her name is Ruth Beich. She has
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like a like about three Rs, like little
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booklets that like it it broke down
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explanationwise of how the stages of
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reading work. Like it clicked with me in
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a way that I had never gotten even as an
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elementary education teacher. Like I
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when I was in the classroom, I had kids
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that were like putting an extra ed on
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the word looked did, stopped. And I'm
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like, I don't know how to make them stop
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doing that. why are they doing the move
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on in the next uh lesson in the book,
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you know, and so um trying to be able to
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remediate and catch them from the very
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beginning of how do you start uh
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teaching them how to read was kind of a
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new part for me. So, I found this 100
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easy lessons to teach your child to
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read. And um it was I know we spent
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easily 400 days in it crying and pulling
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our hair out and melting down and saying
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never mind, we're going to take a break
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and tomorrow we'll start again. Um it
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was easy because it was scripted, but it
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was not easy. And especially uh since my
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daughter actually ended up having like
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sort of a um dyslexia visual
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>> right
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>> perception kind of learning issue. You
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know they I like the idea that it taught
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us to this shape says you don't say you
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don't need to know the name of this
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letter is M in order to read it. But
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months down the road, she still one day
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could read it, one day couldn't read it.
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And I didn't know that I could change
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things up. I was always looking for what
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else can I like supplement in here? I
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understood like Ruth Bick's like steps
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and I'm like, okay, but where do I fit
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in to where we're still practicing with
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decoding and blending and um we're stuck
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in this phase, so what more resources
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can I supplement with this? and you know
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then come back to this book and
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>> right
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>> try to multiply.
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>> Right. Well, I'm I'm curious cuz like I
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also grew up in a house with dyslexic
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people and so like learning like P's and
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B's get flipped and you know and and
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like uh D's and Q or uh I don't know we
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would write it on our hand. We would
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sharpie on our hand what it was and it
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would flip and you could do all the
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different things and there was all these
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tricks that we ended up learning. And
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for me, I was not dyslexic. So reading I
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also I went to grade school until I was
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in second grade. So I was already pretty
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well established in my reading um by the
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time we were homeschooling. But but my
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sister was not. And so my mom had to
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kind of there was a there was a lot of
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this kind of like trial and error like
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what you're describing of like kind of
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coming at it and there you know there'd
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be tears and be frustrated and be like
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okay we're going to stop for today.
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We'll come back. We'll try it again
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tomorrow and we'll try maybe a little
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bit of a different approach. So what
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what was there anything at that time
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where you were starting to go okay
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something is like we need to maybe go
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get my child evaluated or we need to
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find a different curriculum and like how
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was that kind of decision because I
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think that's sometimes hard for parents
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to like acknowledge is like my kids's
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not getting it why am I a dumb teacher
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or is there actually something that
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needs to be taught differently
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>> so um I did know that the public school
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would do like learning disability
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screening tests and stuff so I went and
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got uh in and they did the screening
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tests. But they also they measure the
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way the schools measure they measure
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your um
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bas like IQ and then your academic
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performance and there has to be like a
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discrepancy for how much higher your
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acade your your academics has to be much
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lower than your actual IQ per you know
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achievement and and she came in opposite
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that she was outperforming
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um what so Yay, homeschooling that
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you're I'm like, "No, no, you don't
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understand. We're frustrated. We're
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>> right."
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And so, but I did find another program
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um at one of the homeschool, you know,
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expo kind of like vendor fair kind of
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things. And it was the NILD, National
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Institute of Learning Disabilities. And
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they took her scores and were able to
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look and say, well, this one has a a
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score of, you know, five and this
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category has a, you know, you know, 12.
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this is the discrepancy of where things
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are. And they do um they do physical
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therapy that crosses the midline. And so
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we we did we did that. And
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>> that's like a big part I think of like
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many people choose to homeschool their
00:14:55
kids because their kid has like a
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learning disability or just learns
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differently, right? And so they're like,
00:15:00
"Oh, well, I could do it better at
00:15:01
home." but then they don't always take
00:15:03
the time to actually like find the
00:15:05
things that actually work for that
00:15:06
student or get them tested or evaluated
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or anything like that. And that's a huge
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miss in my in my book. But that comes
00:15:14
from the fact that in my family once the
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evaluations happen, once the diagnosis
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comes, like all those types of things,
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it opens up a whole new world in which
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it's like now I understand what's going
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on in my brain and I can implement new
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strategies to do that. And so that's
00:15:28
kind of what I'm hearing you say. But
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the school was categorizing her and
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saying, you know, yay, that you can work
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with her one- on- one. And it wasn't
00:15:36
offering any kind of support resources.
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And so, I think there's a lot of people
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that are still kind of in that boat that
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the school can't make enough
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accommodations for what else the child
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needs. You know, I say everybody's a
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part-time homeschooler then because
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there's 180 days of school and 365 days
00:15:55
of learning. So, I find a lot of parents
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are now looking for some sort of
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supplemental resources to help, you
00:16:02
know, fill in where where, you know,
00:16:04
you're the one that's going to lay awake
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at night worrying, you know.
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>> Absolutely.
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>> If the lunch if they have lunch money
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and
00:16:11
>> um you know, do they need a math tutor
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and stuff like that.
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>> No, it's it's I think a lot of people
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think like public school or private
00:16:18
school, they view it as this like, well,
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I send my kid off and then that's it.
00:16:22
That's like their learning experience.
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It's like, no, that's not really how it
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happens. Like, learning is, especially
00:16:27
when you're young, it's like it's a 24/7
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event. Uh, or maybe not 24/7 because
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there's eight hours of sleep in there,
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hopefully. Um, but it is a long, it is
00:16:36
16 hours of of learning a day. And so,
00:16:40
yeah, mom and dad need to be involved in
00:16:41
that, right? Parents need to be
00:16:42
involved. Uh, kids need to be involved,
00:16:44
teachers, mentors, all those types of
00:16:46
things are involved in educating a kid.
00:16:49
And so, um, yeah, very much to your
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point. It's like even though you send
00:16:53
them to school, they're still going to
00:16:54
need to learn stuff. You still got to be
00:16:55
able to teach them when they're at home,
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>> right? It's a partnership and
00:16:58
collaboration that
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>> 100%.
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>> We've lost sight of that.
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>> Yes.
00:17:03
>> In this society, it's us versus them and
00:17:05
who gets to control the kids and stuff.
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And so,
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>> yeah. I'm curious, did you homeschool
00:17:10
all of your kids all the way through or
00:17:12
did they end up going to public school?
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>> So, I I I homeschooled the older two all
00:17:16
the way through. Um, and then the
00:17:19
youngest one, um, she was having some
00:17:21
other learning issues and, um, it was
00:17:25
becoming like, um, like I just felt like
00:17:27
I was wrestling a lion with her and and
00:17:30
so something else was going on with her
00:17:32
and we didn't have the tools. I wasn't
00:17:34
finding the tools and resources that
00:17:37
could help support whatever was going on
00:17:39
with her. Um, and so we decided to put
00:17:44
her back into public school and let sort
00:17:48
of outsource the education and say,
00:17:50
"Okay, you guys try to help figure out
00:17:52
what's going on with her educationally.
00:17:54
We're going to focus on being parents."
00:17:56
And um kind of because homeschooling has
00:18:00
a way of kind of magnifying all of your
00:18:02
parenting woes and everything gets
00:18:03
tangled together and it's u it can
00:18:06
become a combative. you know, the point
00:18:09
was to have a good relationship with our
00:18:11
kids and we were kind of getting in a
00:18:13
counterproductive way where it was just
00:18:15
this battle of wills with her all the
00:18:17
time. And then and then it would take a
00:18:19
lot of my time and energy to focus on
00:18:22
her. And I'd tell the other two, go do
00:18:24
some math. And they'd come back, you
00:18:25
know, okay, then a week later, let's sit
00:18:27
down and look at what you've done. And
00:18:29
and they're like, I'm like, okay, tell
00:18:31
me what you were doing here. And they're
00:18:32
like, I don't know. I'm like, well, it's
00:18:33
wrong. We have to do it all over again.
00:18:35
And so like I wasn't doing good at any
00:18:38
of it. And so it was like where do we
00:18:40
where do we refocus our energy and try
00:18:43
to, you know,
00:18:45
do what's best for each child.
00:18:48
>> Yeah, you brought up a good point in
00:18:49
there. You said something along the
00:18:51
lines of, and I've had a couple guests
00:18:53
talk about this, is like the idea of
00:18:55
like my parent, the line between my
00:18:57
parent being my parent and them being my
00:18:59
teacher gets really blurry when you
00:19:01
homeschool. And because homeschooling,
00:19:03
as many people know, is not just a like
00:19:07
9:30 in the morning to 4:00 in the
00:19:10
afternoon event and then we're done.
00:19:12
Like it tends to bleed over into many
00:19:15
hours of the day and I was a kid who did
00:19:17
school at 10:00 sometime 10 p.m. because
00:19:19
I was just that's what my brain was
00:19:21
firing. Um, but that line becomes very
00:19:26
blurry and like
00:19:28
what was that hard for? Like you you
00:19:31
talked about needing to send your
00:19:32
daughter off back to school because it
00:19:34
was like okay that we need to kind of
00:19:35
just be parents. We need to take the
00:19:37
teacher hat off a little bit. And so I'm
00:19:39
wondering like even now as your kids are
00:19:41
are older,
00:19:43
have you found that like being able to
00:19:45
now just like be a parent like how has
00:19:47
that transition or what are your
00:19:48
thoughts on that? like parents also
00:19:50
wearing the teacher hat and the lines
00:19:52
getting blurry. Like do you have any
00:19:54
thoughts around that experience and kind
00:19:56
of navigating that?
00:19:57
>> Well, like I said, you know,
00:19:59
homeschooling has a way of taking all
00:20:00
your parenting walls and kind of
00:20:02
magnifying it. Like this whole weight of
00:20:04
responsibility
00:20:06
weighs very heavy. Um, and and the vast
00:20:09
majority of people that I talk to,
00:20:10
that's that's the way they you they're
00:20:13
coming in with this weight of
00:20:15
responsibility and they, you know, it's
00:20:17
like if they never cooked before, like
00:20:19
what do I what do I cook for dinner
00:20:21
tonight? Well, you know, we have to
00:20:22
navigate this thing and they but they
00:20:24
don't want to screw it up, you know. I
00:20:27
um and so trying to fix find what's the
00:20:30
best curriculum and what's you know how
00:20:31
do I do this and um but more and more
00:20:35
people are coming in now that are like
00:20:37
doing it you know temporarily which is
00:20:40
how I w was looking at it from year to
00:20:42
year you know that okay so we're going
00:20:44
to put you in school for a little while
00:20:46
maybe maybe think we figure out what's
00:20:48
going on then if you want to come back
00:20:50
and we you know find some other
00:20:52
materials there's you know there's
00:20:54
online schools that you can do at
00:20:57
starting to at that point in time. I'm
00:20:59
like, you know, because she still
00:21:00
struggled in school. And so watching
00:21:02
your child like struggle and like trying
00:21:05
to figure out, you know, how how do we
00:21:07
get you through this? Um it it's hard.
00:21:12
And but but being able to just kind of
00:21:14
separate some of that out and say,
00:21:15
"Okay, we're on the same side trying to
00:21:18
work through this problem with you
00:21:21
instead of me and me being the one
00:21:23
saying, this is what the work is. you
00:21:25
have to do and her going, "No, that's
00:21:26
stupid. I'm not doing that."
00:21:28
>> Right.
00:21:29
>> Something that I realized is like even
00:21:31
the times that I was really combative
00:21:33
with my mom or really like, you know,
00:21:35
exactly what you're describing of like
00:21:37
feeling like she wasn't on my team
00:21:39
because she's pushing this curriculum
00:21:41
that I'm not understanding and she's not
00:21:42
it's not clicking to her. You know, now
00:21:45
I can look back on a lot of that type of
00:21:47
stuff and be like, "No, my mom was on my
00:21:48
team. She was also struggling. she was
00:21:51
also trying to like figure this out, you
00:21:53
know, and and the frustration from her
00:21:55
perspective where in the moment it
00:21:56
doesn't feel that way. And so I'm
00:21:58
wondering because now you're a little
00:22:00
bit removed from being a homeschool
00:22:01
parent. And so, uh, you know, how how do
00:22:05
you view like
00:22:08
your homeschool experience? And then
00:22:10
what has happened in your relationship
00:22:12
with your kids as far as like, you know,
00:22:15
do you guys ever talk about it? Do you
00:22:16
guys ever like do they come to you and
00:22:18
be like, "Hey, mom, like you screwed up
00:22:20
here, but like we need to talk about
00:22:22
it." Um, does anything like that happen?
00:22:25
>> Um, yeah. And my son has said things I
00:22:28
he's he's very funny, very um that the
00:22:31
theatrical part of all those
00:22:34
things um that growing up is part of his
00:22:38
personality. I I always kind of thought
00:22:40
he might be a a stand-up comedian
00:22:42
because he's so funny. But um but I you
00:22:45
know I said you know is there anything
00:22:47
that I should have done differently that
00:22:49
you know that you you know he said well
00:22:52
I didn't know what an assembly was.
00:22:57
So I don't know that's all that's all
00:23:01
the feedback he ever really gave me was
00:23:04
he went to some comedy show and they
00:23:06
were talking about class assemblies and
00:23:08
he didn't know what that was. He had to
00:23:10
have a friend explain it to him. But but
00:23:13
I was like, well, we went to church.
00:23:15
That's sort of assembly.
00:23:17
>> It's just a gathering of people. That's
00:23:18
all it is. Like,
00:23:21
>> yeah.
00:23:22
>> And we joke about those kind of things a
00:23:24
lot. I think as homeschool parents, too.
00:23:26
You know, my kids, homeschooled kids
00:23:28
when, you know, they'll go to events and
00:23:30
there somebody will, you know, the
00:23:32
community facilitator will say, "Line
00:23:34
up." And they they don't know how to
00:23:36
line themselves up. It's like, "We do
00:23:37
know how to get in a line. we've been to
00:23:39
Disney before, you know, or the grocery
00:23:41
store like, but line ourselves up is a
00:23:45
different like skill that we don't know.
00:23:47
Um, but it's not like necessary for the
00:23:49
rest of our lives either. So we we like
00:23:51
to like joke about those kinds of things
00:23:53
and there are thing you know but but
00:23:56
there are things that you know as a
00:23:58
parent I can honestly look at and say I
00:24:01
I wish I'd have done things differently
00:24:03
but it it it's not necessarily about the
00:24:06
educational choices although like
00:24:09
knowing that I could have switched
00:24:10
materials and changed things up that you
00:24:13
know we we go down a path and go okay
00:24:16
that maybe we shouldn't have pushed
00:24:17
through all hundred of those lessons
00:24:19
maybe we should have given that up
00:24:21
before, but the the you know before the
00:24:25
internet was so you know the information
00:24:27
age it was harder to find those kinds of
00:24:30
supplemental resources and switch things
00:24:32
up. So um we've come a long way with
00:24:36
that. So being able to switch those up
00:24:38
is is better. But but but the thing that
00:24:41
I still find very prevalent in the
00:24:43
homeschool community is a lot of the
00:24:45
parenting advice that's very um
00:24:47
authoritarian style parenting. And so
00:24:50
while I could like look at education and
00:24:53
kind of rethink how do how does learning
00:24:57
really work and you know how h how what
00:25:00
what is going to get us the best
00:25:02
academic outcome. I never really like
00:25:05
had enough tools and resources to really
00:25:08
like rethink of how how am I parenting,
00:25:12
you know, like you said, your mother
00:25:13
getting frustrated and you guys being at
00:25:15
odds with each other, like
00:25:18
understanding,
00:25:19
you know,
00:25:21
you're you're having a hard time. You're
00:25:23
not giving me a hard time. Um, you know
00:25:27
that it it it's not a it's it's not it's
00:25:30
not, you know, that kind of a conflict.
00:25:32
It's like trying to say, "Okay, what are
00:25:34
you struggling with? What can I help you
00:25:36
with?" And trying to rethink parenting
00:25:39
styles in that kind of way. Um, you
00:25:42
know, the the the tools that I didn't
00:25:45
have at the time to self-regulate my own
00:25:48
frustrations that I would take that out
00:25:50
on the kids and blow up. And um, you
00:25:53
know, the the teaching at the time was
00:25:56
that fear is an appropriate motivator to
00:25:59
control their behavior. And you know
00:26:01
what I'm doing is triggering their
00:26:03
fight, flight, freeze, fawn responses
00:26:06
instead of actually getting, you know,
00:26:09
meaningful connection with
00:26:12
this person I care about and I want in
00:26:15
my life. And so, um, but I've read some
00:26:19
books recently that, you know, kind of
00:26:22
help offer some different perspectives.
00:26:24
And, um, one is, uh, let me see if I can
00:26:29
find my notes.
00:26:30
Well, while you do that, I I think I I
00:26:33
agree with everything that you're saying
00:26:34
because like I think even in my when I
00:26:37
when I had my mom on the show and we
00:26:38
were talking, one of the things that she
00:26:40
she consistently says to me, but she
00:26:41
said on the show was when I started
00:26:44
homeschooling, I wasn't an emotionally
00:26:45
healthy person and that comes through in
00:26:48
those early years. And so like for me,
00:26:50
like even when I look at those first
00:26:52
couple years, I just remember them as
00:26:55
not being the most fun. We did fun
00:26:57
stuff, but there just it wasn't it
00:27:00
wasn't great. But my mom did work on
00:27:03
herself a little bit. She worked on
00:27:04
herself more after I was gone. Uh after
00:27:06
I had graduated, but like but she did
00:27:09
get healthier as time went on. And so
00:27:11
that that parenting style of what you're
00:27:14
talking about, it did shift a little bit
00:27:16
while we were still at home. And so it
00:27:18
is one of those things where it's like I
00:27:20
can look back and I can go, okay, yeah,
00:27:21
but like she has made some changes and
00:27:24
that's helpful. And even now, like she
00:27:26
continually, like you were saying, like
00:27:28
thinks about, "Oh, I should have done
00:27:30
this differently. I could have done this
00:27:31
differently." And I I keep telling her,
00:27:32
I'm like, "Mom, at the time you did what
00:27:34
you thought was best and what you knew
00:27:36
how to do, and that's okay.
00:27:37
>> When we know better, we do better."
00:27:39
>> And so, but but I see a lot of the
00:27:44
parenting advice is still being recycled
00:27:47
in the homeschool community. That same
00:27:49
kind of authoritative. And I found a
00:27:50
book recently, The Myth of Good
00:27:52
Christian Parenting, How False Promises
00:27:55
Betrayed a Generation of Evangelical
00:27:57
Families, Breaking Cycles of Religious
00:28:00
Trauma and Corporal Punishment. I
00:28:01
definitely, if I had to do it all over
00:28:03
again, I wouldn't spank my kids. I
00:28:05
wouldn't be yelling at them and you know
00:28:09
>> you know punishing them in that same
00:28:10
kind of way and looking at it in a in a
00:28:13
different kind of um framework of
00:28:17
you know we're we're trying to be st
00:28:19
good stewards of these little human
00:28:22
people that have been you know entrusted
00:28:24
to us. Um and then another book that I
00:28:27
found that was very helpful too was good
00:28:29
inside becoming the parent you want to
00:28:31
be. It's a practical guide to resilient
00:28:34
parenting and prioritizing connection
00:28:36
over correction. Um, and it it was it
00:28:40
was also very helpful for me because I
00:28:42
lack some of those things with my
00:28:44
parent, you know, trying to express
00:28:46
those things to my parent. So, it was a
00:28:48
I not wanting to write try to figure out
00:28:51
ways to offer, you know, those
00:28:53
meaningful connections to my kids, but
00:28:55
yet also kind of reparing myself because
00:28:59
it it's just not going to happen. The
00:29:02
beautiful thing about watching parents
00:29:04
go through some of these things and make
00:29:05
some of these changes, read these books,
00:29:07
grow as people, is like
00:29:10
one, it also demonstrates to to my
00:29:13
generation that it's like it's never too
00:29:15
late to grow. It's never too late to
00:29:16
learn new things. It's never too late to
00:29:18
evolve and change. Like that is that is
00:29:20
okay. It's a green light to do those
00:29:22
things. And like I I'm a firm believer
00:29:25
that like my dad is a better version of
00:29:28
his dad and I want to be a better
00:29:29
version of my dad. And that just
00:29:31
continually takes like growing and
00:29:33
evolving as a human being. And so I
00:29:35
never want to, you know, I don't want to
00:29:37
repeat the mistakes my dad made. Um
00:29:39
maybe I will, but like I you know, but I
00:29:42
can I can learn from those things, but I
00:29:43
can also make new ones. I get to make
00:29:45
new ones. Yeah.
00:29:46
>> But I can also amplify the good things
00:29:48
that he did, right? And I can take those
00:29:50
lessons and say I'm gonna I'm gonna
00:29:52
carry those forward. And so so I applaud
00:29:54
you for that. And that's one of the
00:29:55
reasons I wanted to have you on the show
00:29:56
and talk was because, you know, I think
00:29:59
right now there's a lot of discussions
00:30:02
happening from homeschool alumni. A lot
00:30:04
of us are starting to speak up and talk
00:30:06
about things. Um, you and I both are
00:30:08
fans of the Coalition for Responsible
00:30:10
Home Education. They did a talk as of
00:30:13
recording this, we did a talk earlier
00:30:14
this week with Stefan uh Merrill Block
00:30:16
who wrote homeschooled. And so a lot of
00:30:19
these things are and that book has been
00:30:20
very popular. Um and so but a lot of
00:30:23
these conversations from home school
00:30:24
alumni are starting to come to the
00:30:25
surface of like how our experiences were
00:30:27
because now we have like four
00:30:30
generations of homeschool alumni um
00:30:32
starting to speak up. And so I'm
00:30:34
interested because one of the things
00:30:36
that I continually hear is that like is
00:30:39
is homeschooled parents getting kind of
00:30:42
offended when we kind of share some of
00:30:45
our criticisms, right, of like my mom
00:30:47
could have done this better or this
00:30:48
curriculum really sucked or you know and
00:30:51
they take it as a personal attack on
00:30:53
themselves. And so I'm interested like
00:30:55
from your perspective how you've handled
00:30:57
that because you don't seem to really
00:30:59
take the criticism as like a personal
00:31:01
attack. um you you take it more as like
00:31:04
a okay yeah so how do we shape that
00:31:06
going forward so let's talk a little bit
00:31:08
about that
00:31:09
>> the vast majority of the parents that I
00:31:11
talk to their intent is to do what's
00:31:13
best for their kids and so but
00:31:16
understanding our intentions don't
00:31:18
always play out the way that we had
00:31:20
hoped the impact is different and so
00:31:24
understanding
00:31:25
and listening to alumni of how what
00:31:29
worked what didn't work Like we could
00:31:32
learn from the mistakes of others, but I
00:31:34
mean I I can we we we should be willing
00:31:36
to learn from our own mistakes too. But
00:31:39
but sitting where I am, I I can't go
00:31:41
back and and change what I did. But I
00:31:44
can say if I'd have known this that my
00:31:47
younger self would have wanted to know
00:31:49
this. So who out there is like my
00:31:51
younger self that you can we we can go
00:31:54
this direction and change the direction
00:31:56
of things. And so, um, I I think it's
00:32:00
really important to listen to
00:32:02
everybody's story. Um, we have, uh,
00:32:05
another book that I I like to drop
00:32:08
recommendations about books is, um, uh,
00:32:11
stories behind stances. It's about
00:32:13
creating empathy from hearing the other
00:32:16
perspective. And it's written by Chris
00:32:17
Singleton, whose mother was killed in
00:32:20
the Emanuel Church shooting. And um and
00:32:24
so he he starts the first, you know, he
00:32:27
talks about how we're all politically
00:32:28
divided and we're just shouting past
00:32:30
each other that if we start from instead
00:32:33
of this is the conclusion of where you
00:32:35
stand on this issue, what if we start
00:32:37
from your story of how did you get to
00:32:40
this place and what you think this
00:32:43
solution would resolve? We're probably a
00:32:47
lot more closer than we really think we
00:32:49
are. And his story, his first story is
00:32:52
about what he thinks about guns. You
00:32:54
know, he thinks guns should have
00:32:55
regulations and be, you know, and and
00:32:57
and how how that impacted his life
00:33:01
matters and how he sees it. But his best
00:33:04
friend has grew up with hunting and um
00:33:08
memories of hunting with his
00:33:10
grandparents and his uncles and his it's
00:33:12
all family bonding stuff. And so where
00:33:14
he's coming from in in his perspective
00:33:18
on guns is very different. And so, but
00:33:20
being able to like sit down and say, "I
00:33:22
understand where you're coming from.
00:33:24
Here's where I'm coming from. What could
00:33:26
we, you know,
00:33:28
create, you know, a shared
00:33:31
value out of this going forward as, you
00:33:35
know, reasonable solutions to this?" I
00:33:37
think that that same kind of
00:33:39
conversation needs to happen on all
00:33:41
sides of education. People that are
00:33:43
adamantly, you know, for public
00:33:45
education. I mean, my husband's in
00:33:47
public education. So, yes, I think that
00:33:50
public education should have, you know,
00:33:52
viable resources and financial support
00:33:56
to and funding to to make it, you know,
00:33:59
a successful experience. But I also
00:34:02
support homeschool rights and parents
00:34:04
choices when the school doesn't work and
00:34:06
they're falling out of through the
00:34:08
cracks in the system. Like there there's
00:34:11
there's just all sides of those
00:34:13
conversations. and then bringing to the
00:34:15
homeschool debate, you know, parents
00:34:17
wanting to do what's best for their kids
00:34:19
and looking for those kinds of resources
00:34:23
and then kids that have graduated from
00:34:25
it saying, "But it would have been
00:34:27
better had I had this and this and this
00:34:29
as a res like we all want resources and
00:34:31
opportunities for the doors to open at
00:34:34
the end of this." So, you know, it's a
00:34:37
it understanding where people are coming
00:34:39
from and listening to that without it
00:34:44
being a personal attack because of they
00:34:47
came up with a different solution to the
00:34:49
problem than than I did. Like, it's not
00:34:52
it's not about that. I don't need to
00:34:54
center myself in those conversations.
00:34:56
>> Yeah. No, I I I 100% agree. think
00:35:00
being able to hear like like I view my
00:35:03
homeschool experience as relatively
00:35:04
positive. I don't like there's not of
00:35:08
course there's things I would do
00:35:08
differently and I would ask my mom to do
00:35:10
differently but a lot of it like there
00:35:12
was not abuse, there was not neglect in
00:35:16
a lot of ways. And so it's one of those
00:35:18
things that
00:35:20
I sit in a very kind of weird space
00:35:22
because like for a long time I was like
00:35:24
I'm very pro homeschool. Like I don't
00:35:25
see a problem with it. Why do people
00:35:27
take issue with this or whatever? and
00:35:28
and doing the show and starting to hear
00:35:30
those stories like you're talking about
00:35:31
and try to come at it from a perspective
00:35:33
of like
00:35:34
I'm just going to hear you out, you
00:35:36
know, and I want to I want to listen and
00:35:38
how did you get to your conclusion of
00:35:39
your anti-homes school or you're so pro
00:35:41
homeschool um kind of a thing. Um, it's
00:35:45
helped me a lot to kind of view
00:35:48
everything from like a wider angle, I
00:35:50
think, where it's like, okay, yeah, but
00:35:52
now to your point, let's work together
00:35:55
to create common sense things that it's
00:35:57
like these can be implemented. They
00:35:58
don't infringe on your rights. You know,
00:36:01
they also create safer environments for
00:36:03
those who who were neglected, who were
00:36:05
abused, those types of things. And so,
00:36:07
yeah, I think again to your point, great
00:36:11
opportunity right now to just start
00:36:12
hearing stories and coming at it more
00:36:14
from a perspective of like let's listen
00:36:16
to each other uh before we jump to all
00:36:18
of the conclusions. So,
00:36:20
>> and I don't know if there's something
00:36:22
about um you know,
00:36:25
being American, you know, that we are so
00:36:27
fiercely independent and don't tell me
00:36:29
what to do. Don't tread on me. Or maybe
00:36:32
there's more of neurode divergence,
00:36:35
you know, the that is that personal uh
00:36:39
demand avoidance, persistent demand
00:36:42
avoidance that, you know, don't tell me
00:36:44
what to do. You know, that that I it
00:36:46
somehow triggers in these parent
00:36:48
conversations that I have this
00:36:50
authority. Don't, you know, I don't want
00:36:52
anybody coming into this space. There
00:36:55
was a recent interview that I was
00:36:56
listening to uh Rachel Denhollander
00:37:00
um and she's also a homeschool grad and
00:37:02
so I followed her for a while too and
00:37:04
listened to what she had to say and her
00:37:06
her abuse story is a very caring parent
00:37:10
who was like you know right there and
00:37:12
still abuse happened to her and she
00:37:14
didn't have the words and the
00:37:15
terminology to say what was actually
00:37:18
happening to her and it triggered the
00:37:20
whole Larry Nasser um you know thing but
00:37:24
But now looking at her homeschool
00:37:26
experience and her experience as a
00:37:28
parent saying I don't have you know
00:37:31
absolute authority as a parent there are
00:37:34
other spheres of authority that I answer
00:37:37
to God the government other in my
00:37:42
society you know my children like there
00:37:44
she's like raising these circles of you
00:37:48
know accountability that we have that
00:37:50
limit you know and and you have to be
00:37:53
willing to look at your parenting and
00:37:55
say I did the best I could but it was
00:37:57
the best I knew at the time and it it it
00:38:00
was my human limitations it was probably
00:38:03
not the best you know that I could do
00:38:06
you know that had I done that
00:38:07
differently and so um I don't know it
00:38:10
just feels like we are um getting
00:38:13
triggered unnecessarily
00:38:16
um as if the this bloated government is
00:38:19
coming to take away our kids and and it
00:38:21
triggers that sort of like defense
00:38:23
defense mechanism in us that that I
00:38:26
don't that I don't think that's really
00:38:28
the point of a lot of these
00:38:29
conversations. I know, you know, CR
00:38:32
likes, you know, says there should be
00:38:34
some legislative measures, but honestly,
00:38:36
a lot of the a lot of what they do,
00:38:38
that's what we're already doing in South
00:38:40
Carolina. I don't feel like it's overly
00:38:42
invasive
00:38:44
recommendations. And so I don't hear it
00:38:47
in the same kind of way that someone
00:38:50
they that that you know that we're going
00:38:53
to lose our kids or whatever. It's more
00:38:55
about am I am I an approachable and
00:38:58
askable parent? And like Rachel's little
00:39:01
podcast uh interview that she did, she
00:39:04
was talking about giving your kids the
00:39:06
agency to come and like appeal to your
00:39:10
parental decisions that there are
00:39:11
sometimes choices that you have to make
00:39:14
um that your kids don't understand. you
00:39:16
know, years ago, um we found out that my
00:39:20
my neighbor um
00:39:24
had uh a boyfriend that was being
00:39:28
removed from the home that had been um
00:39:32
registered as a sex sex offender, but
00:39:35
when you look up the chart, he that's
00:39:36
not where he was living. That's not
00:39:38
where it says he was living. And so like
00:39:40
we had to make rules and policies about
00:39:42
the the connect contact that they had
00:39:45
with our kids and the kids didn't
00:39:48
understand that at the time. And so you
00:39:50
know there are decisions that you have
00:39:52
to make sometimes that are in your
00:39:55
child's best interest that they don't
00:39:57
really understand but yet you know give
00:40:01
them that appeal to say you know kind of
00:40:03
like what Stephan was talking about. I
00:40:05
want to go back to school.
00:40:06
>> Exactly. Yeah. Stefan's story is is
00:40:08
great cuz yeah, he basically had to go
00:40:10
beg his mom practically to go back to
00:40:13
high school and you know and appeal to
00:40:16
her in a lot of ways and I think that
00:40:18
that is like something that a lot of us
00:40:23
we want that ability or we wanted that
00:40:26
ability sometimes to feel like hey if I
00:40:28
go ask my parent about this thing I'm
00:40:29
really struggling in this subject. I
00:40:31
really feel like this would be better
00:40:33
for me. um this isn't working, that I
00:40:35
was going to be heard. And some parents
00:40:37
do a better job of doing that than
00:40:39
others of listening to that information
00:40:41
and and taking it in and making those
00:40:42
changes. Um and so, you know, and then
00:40:46
to your point, there will always be
00:40:48
decisions that parents have to make that
00:40:49
is not going to make sense in the
00:40:51
moment, but it will make sense down the
00:40:52
line. And so, you know, understanding,
00:40:55
but I think that's where the balance of
00:40:57
it comes in of like I as a kid, if you
00:40:59
do feel like I have been heard and I
00:41:02
have been understood and we've made
00:41:03
changes, then when your parent does come
00:41:05
down to saying I'm drawing a line in the
00:41:08
sand here, we're not doing this. I think
00:41:10
sometimes it becomes easier as opposed
00:41:12
to if my parent is exclusively always
00:41:14
saying this is the way it is. This is
00:41:16
how it is going to be. Um, again going
00:41:18
back to that authoritarian kind of
00:41:20
aspect, um, it it becomes harder, right?
00:41:23
And that's when I think we see a lot
00:41:24
more push back from kids of being like,
00:41:27
you know, they get out of the house and
00:41:28
then they're like they go do everything
00:41:30
bad because they were never allowed to
00:41:31
do anything bad or they were never
00:41:33
allowed to make mistakes or whatever. Um
00:41:35
>> and also you know listening to the
00:41:37
pioneers stories you know the ones who
00:41:40
were threatened that they were going to
00:41:42
go to jail that they were going to lose
00:41:44
their kids you know the understanding
00:41:47
why they have such strong perspectives
00:41:51
on some of these things because of the
00:41:53
experience that they came from trying to
00:41:56
do what's best for their kids and yet
00:41:58
being threatened that they could lose
00:41:59
their kids. So,
00:42:00
>> you know, understanding all of those,
00:42:03
you know, perspectives and where they're
00:42:05
coming from, I think
00:42:07
>> is is just a helpful
00:42:08
>> Yes.
00:42:09
>> part of it that we're not none of us are
00:42:12
really like out there trying to say, you
00:42:14
know, I want to give the government more
00:42:16
control over my life.
00:42:18
>> Yeah. Most people know.
00:42:20
>> I would like the government to do all
00:42:22
these things for me. No, nobody wants
00:42:23
that. We're Americans.
00:42:25
>> Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. I think it comes
00:42:27
down a lot of times to the fact that
00:42:29
it's like uh with CRG specifically, it's
00:42:33
it's one of those things where I'm like,
00:42:34
but certain things are common sense that
00:42:36
we should be implementing. And when you
00:42:39
look at something I didn't realize for a
00:42:42
very long time was that, you know,
00:42:44
there's 50 states. Each state has
00:42:46
control over its education system and
00:42:48
each state has all of these different
00:42:49
rules around how homeschooling is
00:42:51
implemented and the checks and balances
00:42:53
that come with that. I grew up in a
00:42:55
state where literally my parents had one
00:42:57
week they had to file a piece of paper
00:42:58
that said we are choosing a homeschool
00:42:59
our kid. That was it. They didn't have
00:43:01
to submit test scores. We didn't have to
00:43:03
go in for evaluations, nothing. And you
00:43:07
know, and then in other states there's a
00:43:08
little bit more requirements. There's a
00:43:10
little bit more um there standardized
00:43:12
testing and those types of things. a lot
00:43:14
of states there's not those safeguards
00:43:17
of like if there is a sexual predator or
00:43:20
sexual criminal in the house that like
00:43:23
they can't homeschool their kid but that
00:43:25
doesn't really seem to for a lot of
00:43:27
people that's pretty common sense that
00:43:28
you wouldn't want to keep kids around a
00:43:31
sexual predator. Um and so things like
00:43:34
that it's like there's some common sense
00:43:36
things in there that it's just it it is
00:43:39
uh it's worth exploring. And it's worth
00:43:42
talking about and seeing where we can
00:43:44
land on things to give. Again, we're
00:43:46
talking about like resources. I know as
00:43:47
a kid that doing I did do some
00:43:49
standardized testing. That was my mom
00:43:51
elected to do that mostly to help her
00:43:53
make sure we were in the right position
00:43:55
grade-wise because her goal was always
00:43:58
get to college. You know, if they want
00:44:00
to go to college, they're able to get to
00:44:01
college. Um type of thing. And so it
00:44:03
helped her determine we were at the
00:44:06
right spaces. Um, and so it it's one of
00:44:09
those things, but as a kid it was so
00:44:10
helpful because I actually felt like,
00:44:12
oh, I'm smart because I had this like
00:44:14
tangible thing that was like not just my
00:44:17
parents always grading my stuff and
00:44:19
letting me get A's or letting me rework
00:44:21
things and get good grades. It was like,
00:44:23
no, I got one opportunity to go in and
00:44:25
take a test and I know that I'm actually
00:44:27
like a decently smart human being or at
00:44:29
least I'm average or, you know,
00:44:30
whatever. it helps give you a sense of
00:44:32
um of agency over yourself to some
00:44:36
degree. And so that that's why I
00:44:38
advocate for that because I just know
00:44:40
that for me personally that would have
00:44:41
been a huge benefit of just knowing that
00:44:43
it's like okay like I'm actually like
00:44:46
I'm smart, you know, I'm smart enough um
00:44:49
uh as smart as public school kids for
00:44:51
sure. And so, um, anyway,
00:44:54
>> part yeah, part of what we do in South
00:44:56
Carolina with our recordkeeping is
00:44:58
keeping some samples of their work and
00:45:00
and I talk a lot about why you want to
00:45:02
do, okay, yeah, the law says do this
00:45:04
over here, but why why do it in a
00:45:06
purposeful way mean so that the records
00:45:09
are meaningful to you and part of the is
00:45:12
to be able to show your child, you know,
00:45:15
this is this is where you were
00:45:16
struggling because we all naturally the
00:45:18
way we think, we hyperfocus on what's
00:45:20
not working. And so it's natural for our
00:45:22
kids to do that too, you know, to be
00:45:24
able to show them, okay, you're
00:45:26
struggling over here in this area, but
00:45:28
look where you're working in this area.
00:45:30
Like you we everybody has different
00:45:32
kinds of smarts, too. And so, um, that's
00:45:35
part of the reason why we put my
00:45:37
daughter into gymnastics because she was
00:45:39
struggling with that reading and the
00:45:41
academics. And so having her to have
00:45:44
that area where she was like excelling
00:45:46
like it was a very valuable part for her
00:45:49
too. but also being able to show, okay,
00:45:52
so you're struggling, but look, you are
00:45:53
making progress. Look, we're making pro
00:45:55
and and also to reassure myself of that,
00:45:57
too, that I wasn't screwing it up. But,
00:45:59
but yeah, that's a lot of those kinds of
00:46:02
things. And testing can be one measure
00:46:05
to say you're making progress. You know,
00:46:08
you're it's okay. We're getting we're go
00:46:11
this is not, you know, a dead end road.
00:46:13
We the doors of opportunity will open
00:46:15
for you at the end. I think another
00:46:17
thing that CR does that aside from the
00:46:20
legislation um they have created sort of
00:46:24
like a tutorial for training um DSS
00:46:27
agents. So, if you get reported for DSS,
00:46:31
um, whatever they call it in the
00:46:32
different state social services,
00:46:34
somebody comes and says they're not in
00:46:36
school, um, they don't necessarily know
00:46:39
what homeschool should look like. And
00:46:42
so, they've created sort of a
00:46:44
intentional, you know, this is what
00:46:46
intentional parenting and education
00:46:49
looks like guide, which I think is super
00:46:52
helpful because we don't have anybody
00:46:54
out there advocating for that. And so,
00:46:58
um, them jumping into that and saying,
00:47:01
"This is what it should look like is is
00:47:04
very important." And they're getting
00:47:06
invited to conversations that I would
00:47:09
never have been invited to talk to. So,
00:47:12
it's kind of it's kind of, you know,
00:47:14
impressive to me to watch what they're
00:47:16
able to conversations that they're able
00:47:19
to um initiate in places.
00:47:24
Very helpful for us all. It's making it
00:47:26
better for us all that way.
00:47:29
>> Well, one of the great things that they
00:47:30
do is that it's a consistent question is
00:47:32
being asked of what would have been
00:47:34
helpful and let's and then let's build
00:47:37
the resources around that. And so
00:47:39
there's resources not only for current
00:47:41
homeschool families, for those DSS
00:47:44
agents like you're saying, but also like
00:47:46
for homeschool alumni. And so, you know,
00:47:48
for things of like if you do come from a
00:47:50
home where there was educational neglect
00:47:53
or abuse. Okay. So, how do you get an
00:47:56
education now as a full-fledged adult?
00:47:58
Well, you know, you've got big gaps, but
00:48:00
like maybe you're actually a smart
00:48:02
person. You just you didn't you weren't
00:48:04
afforded education. Okay, here's how you
00:48:07
can get access to that. You know, in the
00:48:09
same way, abuse, neglect, those types of
00:48:12
things, like, you know, here's how to
00:48:14
get access to therapy and and to help
00:48:16
those types of things. So, they build
00:48:17
resources around all these different
00:48:18
things. And it always stems from that
00:48:19
question of like what resources would be
00:48:22
helpful? Okay, now let's build those.
00:48:25
And so I think that's a really powerful
00:48:27
um place to be in because we're always
00:48:30
looking for resources and that's, you
00:48:32
know, and and so it's a good um it's a
00:48:35
good business to be in to some degree.
00:48:38
Um and it's it's a great service to
00:48:40
offer to the community. So I do want to
00:48:42
pivot just a little bit to what you're
00:48:44
doing now because you're still even
00:48:46
though you're not no longer
00:48:47
homeschooling your kids, you are still
00:48:49
involved in the homeschool community in
00:48:50
South Carolina. And so talk me through a
00:48:53
little bit about what you're doing, what
00:48:54
you offer, and I know you've also got an
00:48:56
event coming up um here in June. So what
00:48:59
like let's just go through it. What how
00:49:01
are you still involved in the homeschool
00:49:03
community?
00:49:04
>> Well, I run an accountability
00:49:06
association South Carolina. They have um
00:49:09
you know some specific um
00:49:13
rules of what your homeschool is
00:49:16
supposed to include and some
00:49:17
recordkeeping you're supposed to do as a
00:49:19
parent. and they want someone to verify
00:49:21
that you're doing those basic things.
00:49:23
And so, um, that's, you know, that's
00:49:26
what I do, um, is kind of, um, run this
00:49:29
accountability association that, you
00:49:31
know, ver verifies that people are doing
00:49:33
the minimums requirements of the
00:49:35
recordkeeping. But I spent a lot of time
00:49:37
talking about why they want to do it.
00:49:39
Like, don't just do it, check off boxes,
00:49:40
and say, "Yeah, yeah, yeah." Um, you
00:49:43
know, I don't need you to create a bunch
00:49:45
of like stuff to prove to me that you're
00:49:47
making progress. I'm really more trying
00:49:50
to come alongside them to say, "Do you
00:49:52
feel like you're being successful? Where
00:49:54
do you feel like you're struggling?
00:49:55
Let's have real conversations about that
00:49:57
and try to find you some resources to
00:50:00
help um where where things aren't going
00:50:03
well." And so being having those kind of
00:50:06
open, honest conversations just with a
00:50:09
select group of people who chose me as
00:50:11
their accountability. We I also while I
00:50:14
was doing that um we had a legislation
00:50:17
that came along to kind of eliminate all
00:50:19
of our associations. They said you know
00:50:21
what this they they there was supposedly
00:50:24
I guess a case where a child had been in
00:50:26
DSS and died
00:50:29
um because of neglect or abuse or
00:50:32
something. Nobody could ever really find
00:50:34
the actual story though and really find
00:50:36
out whi where they were register you
00:50:39
know if they were reg if you know were
00:50:41
they just off the grid like how does
00:50:43
that work um and so um it kind of burst
00:50:47
my bubble though because I'd been kind
00:50:49
of like in this la land that was like
00:50:51
yeah homeschooling's legal everything's
00:50:52
fine like I didn't realize that there
00:50:54
were there were um people that were out
00:50:57
there saying no no no homeschooling is
00:50:59
not a thing you shouldn't do this and
00:51:00
and waiting for abuse and neglect to be
00:51:04
the reason that we're going to resolve
00:51:06
this problem. Sort of a reactive kind of
00:51:08
thing. And so, you know, it it it woke
00:51:11
it woke the poked the bear and woke the
00:51:13
giant for a while and and and it caused
00:51:16
a lot of outrage. But as as I was
00:51:20
looking at that, I'm like, but we could
00:51:23
be more proactive about this and more
00:51:25
intentional about showcasing what
00:51:28
homeschooling is supposed to look like.
00:51:30
We could also be more proactive in
00:51:33
creating preventive factors, you know,
00:51:36
protective factors in our homeschool
00:51:38
community. Do we actually know what
00:51:40
abuse and neglect looks like? Do our
00:51:42
neighbors know what abuse and neglect
00:51:45
looks like before they go and report us
00:51:47
to DSS? You know, like trying to just be
00:51:50
like sort of that conversation of
00:51:53
preventive resources. And so I found
00:51:57
several things in South Carolina and you
00:52:00
know around and that's where I first
00:52:02
discovered the coalition as well um and
00:52:05
started following a lot of these
00:52:07
resources and trying to like try to
00:52:09
create a conversation here that is a
00:52:13
resource hub no matter which association
00:52:15
you choose you know getting accurate
00:52:18
information
00:52:19
and you know it the more the more uh
00:52:24
more social media
00:52:26
goes. It's so much misinformation and
00:52:28
disinformation out there. So, it's like
00:52:30
right
00:52:31
>> screaming into the void sometimes like
00:52:33
no this is how
00:52:36
>> Yeah, for sure. So, you have in addition
00:52:39
to the bookkeeping stuff, you also have
00:52:40
a blog, right, where you provide
00:52:42
resources for people. And so, let's shut
00:52:44
that out really fast. What uh what is
00:52:46
that called?
00:52:47
>> It's called the South Carolina
00:52:48
Homeschooling Connection. Um
00:52:51
homeschooling uh sc.org. or I think is
00:52:56
the blog the URL. Um
00:52:58
>> I'll make sure it's linked down below as
00:52:59
well. So,
00:53:02
>> um but yeah, it's a it's a it's a
00:53:04
resource hub. I uh have selfdeclared
00:53:07
that I am the self-appointed busy body
00:53:09
of homeschooling in South Carolina and I
00:53:11
collect resources and information that
00:53:14
you know inspire excellence and empower
00:53:18
parents to do a good job in their um
00:53:21
child's education whether they come in
00:53:24
um for a little bit or a long time
00:53:26
because a lot of people are coming for
00:53:27
just a period of time now. So there it's
00:53:29
like a temporary stepping stone to get
00:53:31
them through this hard period of time
00:53:34
and then they're going to put them into
00:53:35
another school. There's so many, you
00:53:37
know, choices out there outside the
00:53:39
traditional brick andmortar classrooms
00:53:42
now that
00:53:44
that they have to figure out which one
00:53:46
fits.
00:53:47
>> Exactly. Yeah. There's like the options
00:53:49
are endless. Um, and I recently chatted
00:53:52
with somebody about what is the
00:53:53
umbrella, what fits under the umbrella
00:53:55
of homeschooling because I'm like
00:53:56
there's now all these options that are
00:53:58
like flexible school. Um, and so yeah,
00:54:02
so what really is
00:54:03
>> right that personalized kind of
00:54:05
>> Yeah.
00:54:06
>> Cap cafeteria style. I'll take a little
00:54:08
of this. We'll do some dual enrollments.
00:54:10
We'll do an online class. We'll do, you
00:54:14
know, some real life learning
00:54:15
projectbased stuff and create our own.
00:54:18
You kind of thing. And so,
00:54:19
>> right. Exactly.
00:54:21
>> Um, so one of the resources that I have
00:54:23
found along the way is, um, we have here
00:54:26
in South Carolina the Children's Trust.
00:54:28
They're kind of a division of prevent
00:54:30
abuse, child abuse America, and they
00:54:32
have resources that talk about building
00:54:34
protective factors of pres preventing
00:54:36
abuse before it escalates. Like nobody
00:54:39
starts out one day and says, "I'm going
00:54:40
to abuse my child today." like it
00:54:42
escalates from those kind of like
00:54:44
frustrations and you know it could be
00:54:47
external pressures of finances and you
00:54:50
just like disregulate and take it out on
00:54:53
your kids. And so kind of understanding
00:54:56
some of those, you know, factors that
00:54:58
contribute to um how abuse happens and
00:55:02
understanding it in a way um you know,
00:55:04
we always talk about, you know, but
00:55:06
there's laws to catch abuse and so we
00:55:08
don't need to add them to the homeschool
00:55:10
thing, but you know that we also have
00:55:14
drunk driving laws, you know, but if you
00:55:18
saw a friend getting in the car about to
00:55:21
drive drunk, you'd take the keys away
00:55:23
from them And so equipping us with those
00:55:26
kind of tools to like really recognize a
00:55:29
family that's in crisis when things are
00:55:31
escalating, how do you have the tools
00:55:34
and the equipment to step in and say,
00:55:35
"No, no, here's what we could do better,
00:55:37
how we could do things differently um
00:55:40
and and and kind of prevent that."
00:55:43
There's a they have this little story on
00:55:45
their website with the uh ch prevent
00:55:48
child abuse the children's trust that
00:55:51
there's a parable about a villager who
00:55:53
finds a baby floating in the river. The
00:55:55
villager jumps in and saves the baby.
00:55:56
The next day the villager finds two more
00:55:58
babies in the river and he brings the
00:56:00
babies to the village and finds families
00:56:02
to care for these other new babies.
00:56:05
While the villages are figuring out how
00:56:07
to provide love and food and shelter for
00:56:09
three new babies, they find more babies
00:56:12
in the river. And so, while they're
00:56:14
struggling to cope with these new
00:56:16
responsibilities, somebody in the
00:56:18
village decides they're going to hike
00:56:20
upstream and determine how to get to the
00:56:22
source of the problem. And so, their
00:56:25
attitude is prevention is the key. If we
00:56:28
can stop these things from escalating
00:56:31
um that we go upstream, we can change
00:56:33
the story. upstream is really where we
00:56:35
say solve problems by helping families
00:56:37
before the crisis of abuse and neglect
00:56:39
occurs. And so that's part of the
00:56:43
conversation that I like to bring in
00:56:45
here is that we can bring in lasting
00:56:48
positive change for our, you know,
00:56:50
children. And that's part of what I do
00:56:52
with the blog is try to talk about
00:56:54
those, you know,
00:56:57
protective factors kind of interwoven in
00:57:00
there as well. um that we're trying to
00:57:03
do what's best for our kids, but like
00:57:05
like we've talked about before like you
00:57:08
know one of the things is like trying to
00:57:10
expect more than what they're truly
00:57:12
capable of doing. You know that we we're
00:57:15
frustrated. Why can't you get this? And
00:57:17
like you know the curriculum says you're
00:57:20
supposed to have learned this skill by
00:57:22
now. Why can't you get it? Get it if I
00:57:25
yell it at you. I can just scream it
00:57:27
into your your mind and then it'll come
00:57:29
to you, you know. And so like trying to
00:57:32
understand real like age appropriate
00:57:36
milestones of things and then sort of
00:57:38
sort of the other side of it expecting
00:57:40
too much of our kids that here you can
00:57:43
handle all of this, you can you know do
00:57:45
all this on your own and learn this and
00:57:48
um kind of parentifying our kids in the
00:57:50
opposite direction. But all of those
00:57:52
things fit into this framework about
00:57:56
understanding actual, you know,
00:57:59
protective factors. And so that nuance
00:58:03
of the conversation, like it doesn't
00:58:05
necessarily have to I don't pretend like
00:58:07
I have any um sway in legislation
00:58:12
preventing it or instigating it or
00:58:14
anything. Um you know, my sway is more
00:58:18
on a one-on-one. How do we help each
00:58:20
other and parent along the way and pull
00:58:23
each other along and provide those kinds
00:58:25
of resources? So,
00:58:27
>> yeah. No, and I think that's so
00:58:29
important because I mean, you really
00:58:31
think about it and it's like how does
00:58:32
lasting change happen? Well, it happens
00:58:35
in those one-on-one conversation. It
00:58:36
happens in the small groups that then it
00:58:39
grows and it, you know, it continues on
00:58:41
and it spreads, right? It's a ripple
00:58:43
effect. Um, and so I think that that's
00:58:46
like so so important. And I appreciate
00:58:48
what your blog is doing because I think
00:58:51
we need more of these like types of hubs
00:58:52
where it's like I can come get solid
00:58:54
information. I can get not only
00:58:57
resources, but like yeah, access to
00:58:59
things that I hadn't even thought about
00:59:01
like you were talking about with some of
00:59:03
like the abuse and neglect and
00:59:04
recognizing those things. It's like,
00:59:05
yeah, we have laws for that, but that's
00:59:06
like outside of that's not what we're
00:59:08
talking about. This is home school
00:59:09
stuff. It's like, yeah, but those do fit
00:59:11
in the conversation to some some aspect,
00:59:14
right? And so those are important things
00:59:16
to have uh in there as well. Anything
00:59:19
else on the blog that you want to touch
00:59:20
on?
00:59:21
>> Yes, that we want to learn. We want to
00:59:22
learn to recognize um abuse,
00:59:27
recognize the signs of abuse. Um
00:59:30
we talk about um ACE factors. There's
00:59:33
like a little 10 question quiz to uh
00:59:36
kind of identify some adverse childhood
00:59:39
experiences and you know the traum the
00:59:42
lasting trauma and the impacts of those
00:59:44
things on your long-term health even
00:59:46
physical health that can affect things
00:59:48
like diabetes and you know uh heart
00:59:51
health and stuff like that too. Um but
00:59:54
but there's another side to it that I
00:59:56
just recently found that is positive
00:59:58
childhood experiences that um the parent
01:00:02
caregiver shows unconditional love.
01:00:04
Spending time with a best friend,
01:00:06
volunteering and helping others, being
01:00:09
active in a social group, having a
01:00:11
mentor outside the family, you know,
01:00:14
having safe adults that you can go to
01:00:17
besides just your parents. Even if your
01:00:19
parents are already sick, you've got a
01:00:21
you've got more beyond that that is, you
01:00:24
know, a valuable. Living in a clean and
01:00:26
safe home with enough food, having
01:00:28
opportunities to learn, having a hobby,
01:00:31
being active and playing sports, having
01:00:33
routines that are, you know, fair,
01:00:38
you know, fair rules in the home. So,
01:00:40
those are some of those same kind of
01:00:42
conversations that I feel like, you
01:00:44
know, we're all trying to have. We want
01:00:47
we want our kids to come out of this
01:00:50
childhood in a positive way and give
01:00:53
them resilience and try to try try try
01:00:57
to mitigate as much of our own trauma
01:01:00
that we carried into parenting uh you
01:01:03
know and not pass it on to them. And so,
01:01:06
um, I always, you know, want to talk
01:01:08
about how do we implement some of those
01:01:10
kind of trainings into our homeschool
01:01:12
groups and, you know, can we do book
01:01:14
clubs and circles with co-ops and um,
01:01:18
set policies in our in our manuals that,
01:01:20
you know, this is how we handle kids and
01:01:23
this is how we handle, you know,
01:01:25
disagreements and they can get along.
01:01:27
they don't walk away from here feeling
01:01:29
bullied and um you know and building
01:01:32
those kind of protective factors so that
01:01:35
um we can
01:01:37
you know do better.
01:01:39
>> 100%. Yeah. No, I think and something
01:01:41
that you mentioned in there too that
01:01:43
like it is so important is like a lot of
01:01:47
times homeschool homeschooling
01:01:49
regardless of how you do it is to some
01:01:52
degree an isolating experience. However,
01:01:55
more and more you can get with co-ops,
01:01:58
you can get with other parents, you can
01:02:00
get with, you know, other homesooled
01:02:01
families, even non-homesooled families,
01:02:03
but you create some of those
01:02:04
environments like you're talking about
01:02:06
where you you you give your child the
01:02:09
access to other kids, you give mom and
01:02:11
dad access to other parents, right? You
01:02:13
get, you know, and and those are very
01:02:15
important things. We are not designed to
01:02:18
live our lives inside of like a isolated
01:02:20
bubble. um we need other humans uh to do
01:02:24
it. And so doing that and then also like
01:02:26
you were saying be able to implement
01:02:28
some of those healthy uh routines,
01:02:30
exchanges, the ability to look for those
01:02:33
abuses, right? That understanding of
01:02:35
like building those safe environments
01:02:37
that help happens in those small groups
01:02:40
and then it expands and grows and grows.
01:02:42
And so again, I applaud you for what
01:02:44
you're doing because that's like huge.
01:02:46
And I think so many parents when I was
01:02:48
even a kid would have would have found
01:02:50
so much value in something like that,
01:02:53
>> right? We didn't have those
01:02:54
conversations then, right?
01:02:56
>> But our entire culture is like pushing
01:02:58
against the the community. Like we're
01:03:00
we're not we're the fiber of what makes
01:03:03
us community. We're all it's it's a
01:03:06
cultural thing that we're talking about
01:03:07
in this time of what what does community
01:03:10
look like? And so it's it's all the more
01:03:13
important for us to be trying to figure
01:03:14
that out in the homeschool community
01:03:16
too. How do we provide the kind of
01:03:18
resources that help us thrive? So
01:03:22
>> yeah.
01:03:22
>> Yeah. One more thing that I do um you
01:03:25
know homeschool law just talks about how
01:03:27
to be exempt from compulsory attendance.
01:03:29
So, one of the services that I uh
01:03:31
provide because of my position, we get
01:03:33
to go to the same workshops that the
01:03:36
public school guidance counselors get to
01:03:38
go to and learn about sort of, you know,
01:03:41
transcripts, what what goes on the
01:03:43
transcript, that kind of thing. And um
01:03:46
kind of being able to translate that.
01:03:48
And years ago, you know, 5 10 years ago,
01:03:51
the policies in my group, I didn't
01:03:53
require us to do transcripts. The
01:03:55
parents made the transcripts and away
01:03:57
they go. But but more and more and
01:04:00
people that weren't necessarily going to
01:04:02
college didn't need a trans they didn't
01:04:04
create a transcript. But now 5 10 years
01:04:06
down the road they're like, "Oh, I do
01:04:08
want to go to college. Now I need a
01:04:09
transcript." And so we're trying to like
01:04:12
backtrack and recreate, you know, that
01:04:14
course of study, that academic resume
01:04:16
that will open the doors of opportunity
01:04:19
for you. Um and and so I do I do help
01:04:23
people create those. Uh, a lot of times
01:04:25
it's the parent that's there that's
01:04:27
helping. Sometimes it's just the grad.
01:04:29
Uh, the parent is no longer around or
01:04:31
able to assist and so we can help kind
01:04:34
of create that. I know the there's other
01:04:36
tools out there to kind of try to figure
01:04:38
out yourself, but I do offer that
01:04:40
service as well. But another thing that
01:04:43
that I'm finding is that institutions
01:04:45
don't know what to do with those parent
01:04:47
transcripts. And so more and more
01:04:50
they're looking for somebody else to
01:04:52
validate and verify did is this is this
01:04:55
real you know is this car's study of
01:04:57
accurate? Um I get calls from um job um
01:05:02
employment verifications. Did you really
01:05:05
does this person really graduate? um had
01:05:08
uh state and federal, you know,
01:05:10
employment where the some guy with a
01:05:12
badge shows up and says, "This is who I
01:05:15
am and this is why I'm allowed to, you
01:05:17
know, verify this." And I'm like,
01:05:19
"Here's my ID. Here's" and sign off that
01:05:22
they're that they are, you know, allowed
01:05:25
to get a job. And the colleges are going
01:05:28
more towards wanting some sort of, you
01:05:31
know, transcript that shows that, too.
01:05:34
when they want it to come from somebody
01:05:35
else, not just, you know, from the
01:05:37
parent anymore. So, so that is a service
01:05:40
that I also do provide um whether you
01:05:43
live in South Carolina or not. My sister
01:05:44
lives in Georgia and I created
01:05:46
transcripts for her kids. Um and so, um
01:05:50
you know, trying to help offer that as a
01:05:52
service if you didn't get a transcript
01:05:54
or suddenly decide you need one. Um I'm
01:05:58
I do offer that as a service to help
01:06:00
out.
01:06:01
>> Yeah. as someone who who went we hired a
01:06:04
third party to help me with college prep
01:06:06
and that was like such a game changer
01:06:09
because they did help with I believe the
01:06:11
formatting of the transcripts but then
01:06:13
it helped me with like the college
01:06:14
admission stuff and and things like that
01:06:16
but that transcript was very important
01:06:18
because even though I was going to I was
01:06:21
applying to a lot of schools that did
01:06:24
accept homeschool students there was
01:06:26
still like their like we want to see XYZ
01:06:28
you know there was those requirements
01:06:30
even back in this was 20134 when I was
01:06:33
applying for colleges and stuff. So um
01:06:36
you know and and so I'm sure yeah things
01:06:38
have changed I'm sure in the last last
01:06:40
10 years um since then but to know that
01:06:43
there are people out here who are
01:06:45
helping people put together those
01:06:46
transcripts because again even if you
01:06:48
don't go to college you might someday
01:06:51
want to go to college or you might need
01:06:52
it for some kind of job down the line.
01:06:54
And so knowing that it's like it's
01:06:56
there, you have it. It's just another
01:06:58
step in that like independence that is
01:07:01
is so helpful. So
01:07:02
>> it's a forever document.
01:07:04
>> Yes.
01:07:04
>> And so and like some sometimes the
01:07:07
parent had it somewhere, they don't know
01:07:09
where it is now. It's a where did it get
01:07:12
filed? I don't know. Um or you know they
01:07:16
have a copy of it but they need somebody
01:07:18
to mail you know send it officially.
01:07:20
There's like um they have parchment
01:07:23
navian those kind of um it instead of
01:07:26
fax machines now it delivers the
01:07:28
official
01:07:30
you know secure transmission of the
01:07:33
documents. So yeah having having
01:07:35
somebody who has that kind of ability to
01:07:38
say yep this is official here it comes.
01:07:40
Again, I applaud you for all the
01:07:42
services that you provide for homeschool
01:07:44
kids because I think kids, parents, like
01:07:47
they they need them, right? And
01:07:49
especially coming from someone who you
01:07:50
lived it, you went through it with your
01:07:52
own kids. And so, not like you and
01:07:55
you've learned from those experiences,
01:07:56
but now you know and you can help other
01:07:59
homeschool families like not only do
01:08:01
better, but also make sure like all of
01:08:02
paperwork is lined up, all of the re you
01:08:04
have the resources you need. Like that
01:08:06
is a huge huge get. Um it is no small
01:08:09
task. So, I applaud you. Thank you.
01:08:11
Thank you. Thank you for what you do.
01:08:13
>> I try.
01:08:14
>> Um, let's talk about if we're done with
01:08:16
the blog, let's talk about the event and
01:08:17
what you guys are doing.
01:08:19
>> So, I have a homeschool event. It's a
01:08:20
local um, u vendor fair. I kind of take
01:08:25
some of the resources that I've
01:08:27
collected on my blog and it's like a
01:08:30
real life manifestation.
01:08:32
the blog come to life of wandering
01:08:35
around and talking to some of the people
01:08:37
that are really you know great
01:08:39
resources. A lot of local um co-ops and
01:08:44
um you know opportunities that are here.
01:08:47
>> I think the the events like that are so
01:08:50
helpful. I remember as a kid going to to
01:08:52
some and you know it's an opportunity
01:08:55
learn stuff get access to curriculum you
01:08:58
know all of the all of the normal
01:08:59
homeschool um you know things that we
01:09:02
need and sometimes it's better to see it
01:09:04
in person than it is like to just look
01:09:06
at it online. So, you know, being able
01:09:08
to ask a vendor more questions about it
01:09:10
than you're going to get on a website
01:09:12
can be extremely helpful,
01:09:14
>> right? And fi find out if this co-op
01:09:16
feels like the right vibe and and meet
01:09:20
the people that, you know, are running
01:09:22
the program and those kind of things.
01:09:24
Um, but we also, you know, are
01:09:26
intentional about creating more diverse
01:09:30
resources. Um last year our um theme was
01:09:34
mirrors and windows like expanding your
01:09:37
um bookshelf and your lived experience.
01:09:40
Um you know collecting information that
01:09:45
reflects your own lived experience as a
01:09:47
mirror but also um is a window into how
01:09:52
other people live. that you know there's
01:09:54
there's a lot of different ways to show
01:09:57
up in the world and um you know get get
01:10:00
sort of a glimpse of how those things
01:10:03
happen. But this year we're kind of
01:10:05
building on that theme and our it's um
01:10:08
connect expand and thrive. So um
01:10:12
cultivating um a that kind of
01:10:15
connections in the community. That's why
01:10:17
my blog's called the connection.
01:10:19
we we we're stronger together if we're
01:10:22
connected with each other, respecting
01:10:24
our differences and um but you know kind
01:10:27
of being a collective together um where
01:10:30
we can make meaningful connections,
01:10:32
broaden our bookshelves and thrive as a
01:10:34
collective. So um we also are very
01:10:37
intentional about more secular inclusive
01:10:40
resources. You don't have to leave your
01:10:42
faith at the door like a lot of those
01:10:44
kind of like secular,
01:10:46
you know, events are. Um, but you also
01:10:49
don't have to bring one, so it's all
01:10:51
right. You know, we have Bob Jones Press
01:10:54
over here and
01:10:56
>> Right. It's a It's a mix of Yeah. Oak
01:10:59
Meadow over here. Yeah. There's a Yeah,
01:11:01
there's a good good mix and a vibe. And
01:11:04
um you our Bob Jones um representative
01:11:07
that comes also is very good at um
01:11:11
special needs um accommodations and she
01:11:15
can take you through and kind of show
01:11:17
you some examples of how you can modify
01:11:19
your curriculum and it works with any
01:11:22
curriculum but she knows examples out of
01:11:24
what she you know has to provide. But
01:11:26
yeah, so it's not just, oh, I don't want
01:11:29
I don't want that materials, but there's
01:11:31
people that you can talk to that can
01:11:32
help you figure out, you know, how to
01:11:36
how how to get what you need out of it.
01:11:38
And so, but it's for every, you know, we
01:11:40
have stuff that's high school and
01:11:42
beyond, college prep people and
01:11:45
>> Exactly. Exactly. So, when when is this
01:11:47
event? Where is this event? And um and
01:11:50
then uh where do we get tickets or how
01:11:53
do we find out more information about
01:11:54
it?
01:11:55
It's on It's on my the other website I
01:11:57
have is uh Colola City Homeschoolers. Um
01:12:00
and it is um the Cola City Homeschool
01:12:05
Expo and it is in Colombia. We call we
01:12:09
call Colombia Cola for short. Cola City.
01:12:11
>> Okay.
01:12:12
>> Yeah.
01:12:13
>> It's a local vibe. Some people call it
01:12:15
Soda City sometimes, too. The cola.
01:12:18
>> Yeah.
01:12:19
>> Capitalizing on the cola. So um and so
01:12:22
yeah, Kola City Homeschool Expo, it's in
01:12:25
Colombia. We have a Jal Shrine Center
01:12:28
that is bigger than a gym. They actually
01:12:30
bring in their shrine circus there. So
01:12:32
it's how big the the venue is. And then
01:12:35
we're also partnering with a kid market.
01:12:37
So kids that are entrepreneurs can come
01:12:40
and sell their snacks and crafts and
01:12:45
little goodies. So
01:12:47
>> very cool. And when is it again? Oh,
01:12:50
June 27th.
01:12:51
>> June 27th. All right. In Colia, South
01:12:54
Carolina, uh, or Cola City, Soda City.
01:12:58
>> And attendees attendees will get like a
01:13:01
a digital grab bag that has a lot of
01:13:03
freebies and discount codes and things
01:13:06
that they can take home with them, plus
01:13:08
a few uh, workshops to help inspire and
01:13:10
encourage them because our venue doesn't
01:13:12
really it's not conducive to have
01:13:15
breakout sessions that at that venue.
01:13:17
So, we're going to send him home with
01:13:19
you to watch
01:13:20
>> with a when we have coffee or a glass of
01:13:23
wine or whatever later.
01:13:25
>> Exactly. Love that.
01:13:26
>> On your own time. Yeah.
01:13:28
>> Love that. Very cool. Well, that all of
01:13:32
these things are going to be linked down
01:13:33
in the description below. Like if the if
01:13:35
these are at all of interest to you,
01:13:37
link down below. If you just want to
01:13:38
like learn more, check them out. They're
01:13:40
really cool resources. Even myself as a
01:13:42
home school alumni, I found them really
01:13:44
cool. Um, again, just as like an
01:13:46
opportunity to like know about what's
01:13:48
happening in the homeschool landscape,
01:13:50
um, and and what's out there? Um, you
01:13:53
know, call me weird, but that's, you
01:13:55
know, my whole life has become
01:13:56
homeschool themed at this point. Um, so,
01:14:00
um, yeah, Kim, is there anything we have
01:14:02
not touched on that we need to talk
01:14:05
about?
01:14:06
>> Nope. I appreciate you um having this
01:14:09
these conversations, the nuance of you
01:14:12
know
01:14:13
perspectives that you know what
01:14:16
education should look like and what we
01:14:18
have to you know how how do we get how
01:14:20
do we get the good, the bad and the ugly
01:14:22
out there and talk about it all. So I
01:14:24
appreciate that because parents I do
01:14:26
believe are looking for educational
01:14:28
alternatives for what's best for their
01:14:30
child. Um, and so yeah,
01:14:34
>> we need homeschool advocates to be
01:14:36
included in that because all stories
01:14:38
matter so that we can figure out a
01:14:40
solution together.
01:14:41
>> Awesome. Yes. Thank you and thank you
01:14:43
for coming on. Thank you for sharing
01:14:44
your story and and being vulnerable with
01:14:46
us. Thank you again for what you do. Um,
01:14:48
it's absolutely incredible. So with that
01:14:51
to the audience again, if you found
01:14:53
anything useful from this episode, let
01:14:55
me know. There's comment sections down
01:14:57
below on Spotify, on YouTube. You can
01:14:59
shoot me an email. e [email protected].
01:15:02
All my socials and stuff are linked
01:15:03
below. Everything that Kim and I talked
01:15:05
about. If you know it was books uh or
01:15:08
resources, I'm going to try to link
01:15:10
those down below. If I missed anything,
01:15:11
let me know. I'll make sure I get it to
01:15:13
you. And uh yeah, with that, we'll see
01:15:16
you next week. Peace.
