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we are back another ex- homeschoolers
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club with your host Jacob good today I'm
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chatting with my friend aloette uh some
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of you will know her as aloette Pettit I
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know that is no longer her last name and
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I'm blanking on what it is currently but
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um uh she I'm sure she will fill us all
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in but aloette and I have known each
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other I say this with everybody but
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we've known each other a long time um we
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both grew up in the ohigh valley um and
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things like that and we're going to get
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into her story and and just her
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homeschool experience but before we do
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that couple things um if you enjoy the
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show I want to hear from you I want to
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know what we can do better what uh
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you're liking people you want to hear on
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all of those good things so at the very
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top of the description the show notes
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whatever the links down below um there
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is going to be a uh a form to fill out
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it's six questions two of them are super
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easy your name and your email address
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and then it's just a bunch of questions
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about what we can do better where if we
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build an external Community outside of
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this
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where you want it to be Discord slack
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all of those wonderful wonderful social
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media places um that kind of thing I
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want to hear from you so if you don't
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mind take a second we'll
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wait okay and we're back okay aloette
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welcome to the podcast thank you for
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having
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me we got uh we've known each other like
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I said we've known each other for a long
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time um I feel like I I always try to
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think back to like how we met and I I
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just like I know we kind of we just ran
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in similar circles there was like theana
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group and there was just the ohigh
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valley Homeschool Group and all of those
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things and so I think at some point
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Calvary Chapel was up the street from my
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house and go there sometimes so I think
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we just kind of at some point our paths
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just they connected right Ami I know I I
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feel like that's how I feel about most
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of the people in like achieve and stuff
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is just I don't know when we met but we
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met and then it we just existed yeah and
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in each other's
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circles absolutely yeah no there's a
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those few people that I'm like I
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distinctly remember meeting you but then
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yeah there's exactly and then there's
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those few that I'm just like we just
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were friends we just ended up in the
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same Circle and somehow your parents
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knew my parents and we ended up taking
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classes together or what whatever it
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might be but anyway so tell us a little
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bit about your homeschool Journey fill
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us in like what was home life like were
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you homeschooled all the way through
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that kind of thing walk us through a
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little bit of that yeah so like you said
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aloette pedit now aloette Kim much
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easier last name now um growing up um I
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was homeschooled K through 12 whole
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way die hard since day one um I didn't
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do any side of any kind of outside
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schooling really um until College um
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well I took BC classes um during high
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school as well but it's still College um
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but started off with my mom just really
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wanting to homeschool and give it a try
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um both my parents were public schooled
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so it wasn't something that they had
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experience with um but they thought you
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know hey this will be kind of a fun
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thing to try out and I'm the first born
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so guinea
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pig yeah but they decided they wanted to
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do it my mom really loves the like
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curriculum the um guide the well-trained
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mind which is like a book on stuff and I
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don't know I it the uh importance
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alludes me
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but but um I know my mom really loves it
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and she swears by it so if we homeschool
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if me and my husband homeschool our
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daughter one day I'll probably look into
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it more um my mom um kind of headed that
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up obviously my dad was working um and
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so I you know started being homeschooled
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and that started the whole thing and now
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um you know my three younger sisters
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well two of them were homeschooled and
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then there's Eevee my sister who's right
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after me who's in special education um
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so she would she did go to public school
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but besides her the rest of us um we
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homeschooled and I think it worked out
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well I don't know I enjoyed it never
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regretted it I feel like you know
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homeschooling can go one of two ways for
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people and I'm positive about it for me
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yeah no that's that's good I I tell
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people that too I'm like I don't feel
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like I had there's things I would change
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but I think there's things I would
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change about you know every decision you
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make in life um so um well that's good
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that's good that it was a positive
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experience and you know one of the
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things to like you said you had a sister
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who was at special education I think
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it's interesting because I so many
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homeschool kids had siblings that were
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they needed some assistance whether it
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was just like a learning disability or
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uh like an actual disability or things
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like that and so I think it's
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interesting because we also grew up
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surrounded by those people or at least I
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did where now as an adult like I can
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kind of I I I feel almost like I can
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navigate being around somebody who's
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different quote unquote right like and I
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don't know and and handle it a little
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bit where some people I don't know I
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remember in college just specifically
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people not knowing how to handle
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somebody who is just slightly different
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than them they just kind of like so I I
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would imagine growing up in a house with
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someone who had some special needs like
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it it's made it probably a lot easier
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now as an adult to like I don't know see
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someone else out in the world and know
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just like how to interact with them
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right yeah absolutely and I think
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especially in terms of like my job like
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I'm a nurse you know you get patients a
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lot um who well not a lot but you get
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patients who are non-verbal um whether
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that's because of you know a genetic
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condition like my sisters um or if
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that's a medical condition they're in a
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coma or medically induced coma something
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like that and I think being able to
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especially interact with communicate
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with someone who's not able to verbally
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commun communicate is a definitely an
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acquired skill and having grown up
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around it it definitely helped out in
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that and
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um it's something that I'm thankful for
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especially with my line of work yeah no
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that's definitely and also homeschoolers
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in general I feel like aside from
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cognitive developmental learning
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disabilities we're all just kind of
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different so so learning how to interact
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with people who are different is are
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like bread and butter also because
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everybody's kind of you know maybe a
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little bit off in a good way yeah no I I
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I feel you I yeah I lean into the weird
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now I
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think but um okay so so homeschooled all
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the way through it's all you've ever
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known siblings kind of same deal
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homeschooled all the way through we're
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currently being homeschooled
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um what did like a typical day look like
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like were you always involved in some
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kind of Homeschool Group as well cuz I
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know that's that's kind of how we knew
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each other achieve group Solutions a
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little bit that kind of stuff but was
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that something you guys were always a
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part of or or did it build up over the
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years so starting off my mom actually
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made like she and a few friends started
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their own little tiny Homeschool Group
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it was like maybe four families and this
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is when I was really young like
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probably like kindergarten first grade
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second grade maybe like the beginning of
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it um and it was just a few of us
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families and it was fun I remember doing
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like show and tell and little you know
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like makeshift uh School field trips and
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things like that and I think it was good
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that we had that little group especially
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because I think most of us in that group
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were all all the kids were like the
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first born first homeschooled so it was
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kind of all these moms like working
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together to kind of figure out they're
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going to go about it yeah um and then at
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some point um we started going to
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achieve um and I think a big part of
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that was several of the families in that
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small group ended up moving across
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country so like my best friends as a kid
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and then one moved to Virginia one moved
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to Pennsylvania so it was just like all
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of a sudden all my little childhood
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friends were
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gone not all of them but you know some
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of the close ones and then I was thrust
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into the achieve group where there's
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like all these people everybody knows
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each other and I was like what
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um that was a hard I will say that was
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kind of a hard transition at first
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because I didn't know anyone and we
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started going to a new church at the
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same time started going to Calvary
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Chapel in Oakview and so I was kind of
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like having to make all these new
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friends all at once and I had some old
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friends who were going there um that I
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knew but like a lot of the group um that
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I was surrounded with was new friends
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that I made so like the Nelsons were new
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friends to me um jacine who's still my
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bestie is with a new friend to me at
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that time um Mandy Al Calla now Mandy
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gon it was one of my friends that I made
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during that time so a lot of people who
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later became like my close Circle were
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new when I was around like 8 n 10 and so
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it was kind of hard transition in terms
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of going from like this is the circle I
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know to this new Circle and everybody
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knows each other in this new Circle
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except for me but we're still all
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homeschooled we still all go to this
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achieve but I'm like the new kid in a
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chief but obviously you know over time I
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ALG in but yeah no I I feel that because
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even though I wasn't homeschooled all
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the way through I started in second
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grade which I was eight and so I similar
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to you I was like I went from I had my
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school group of friends that we were
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going to go through all the grades
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together and then we moved and it was
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like we moved 30 I mean venturo to ohigh
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so it was like 30 minutes away and yeah
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I didn't get to see those friends as
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much anymore if at all like um and and
00:10:00
and yeah it was a brand new group and
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they all seemed to know each other so
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yeah breaking into that is like way
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harder it's really daunting as a child
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like you don't think about it that much
00:10:09
but it is yeah it is and I mean
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thankfully it's still kind of that age
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where like I feel like parents have some
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influence over like oh hey your kid is
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the same age as my kid we should like do
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a play right like I think there's still
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some of that when you get to like high
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school level it's like weird if your mom
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calls your your your friend's mom right
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and be like uh I think we should have a
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play dat it's like Mom I'm 14 years old
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I can make my own
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decisions I know I think like in that
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sense I was lucky I was also pretty
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outgoing I've always been pretty
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outgoing as far as like making friends
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and so it was easier for me to be like
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hey you want to come over to my house
00:10:45
but I do distinctly remember being like
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scared and feeling a little ostracized
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because I didn't know anyone and like
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like you said you're your kids so it's
00:10:54
like it's flexible in terms that your
00:10:55
parents can invite people over for you
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and it's not weird but at the same time
00:11:00
kids don't always at that age know how
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how to like invite new people in like to
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make them feel welcome because you're
00:11:06
still young you're still learning those
00:11:08
like social like it's nice to invite the
00:11:12
new person to do things and so I
00:11:13
remember being kind of
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like I don't know anyone and it I feel
00:11:18
like nobody likes me even and then like
00:11:20
I slowly was like hey do you want to
00:11:22
have a play dat do you want to come to
00:11:24
my house and I know a big thing too was
00:11:27
um Aaron Nelson and I ended up doing
00:11:30
soccer um not on the same team because
00:11:32
it was boys and girls leagues but in the
00:11:34
same you know like the Ohio Rec Center
00:11:37
yeah club and so our soccer games were
00:11:40
like on the same days on the same field
00:11:42
at my Monte Elementary and so afterwards
00:11:45
we'd have like a play date we'd be like
00:11:46
oh you want to come over to my house
00:11:48
after our game and so that's kind of how
00:11:50
I started getting like more mesed a and
00:11:53
I became close to that so that was fun
00:11:55
and I remember like early memories and
00:11:57
stuff from starting to make new friends
00:12:00
and it being a positive thing but
00:12:02
definitely I remember the stress of it
00:12:04
at first yeah yeah no it like you said I
00:12:07
think once you kind of crack it a little
00:12:09
bit like it only takes one person to
00:12:11
really like kind of break it open where
00:12:13
you're like okay now I'm in you know you
00:12:15
get the stamp of approval here you go
00:12:17
yeah welcome to the Calvary Chapel
00:12:19
achieve Cool Kids Club exactly yeah no
00:12:22
exactly no and well and I even remember
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I mean like I said I liveed down the
00:12:26
street from Calvary Chapel so like I did
00:12:28
go do stuff there going to VBS there I
00:12:30
remember youth group every now and then
00:12:32
like I was not a regular at those things
00:12:34
but I would pop in every now and then
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and um and even old as an older kid I
00:12:39
remember being like Oh okay this group
00:12:41
has got it like you guys are locked in
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you guys are the group and then like I
00:12:44
knew my friends like we were we were
00:12:46
also kind of our own bubble of people
00:12:48
inside The Homeschool community and like
00:12:49
that's just the way it works right I
00:12:51
think that's just kind of normal
00:12:53
friendship kind of stuff but public
00:12:55
school private school home school you
00:12:56
all have your little bubbles click so
00:12:59
yeah but hey I mean it breaks the myth
00:13:01
that like H school kids don't have
00:13:02
friends cuz here we are sitting going we
00:13:04
we had friends friends
00:13:07
yeah so okay so talk about let's talk a
00:13:10
little bit about the transition out of
00:13:12
home school so like it seems like you
00:13:13
kind of had more of a traditional home
00:13:15
school experience where like Mom and Dad
00:13:16
were building the curriculum yeah um
00:13:18
that kind of a
00:13:19
thing were were your parents really
00:13:22
conscious of like what comes after uh
00:13:26
like high school and things like that
00:13:28
because I think that's where a lot of
00:13:29
people I think get bogged down is they
00:13:31
their parents kind of are like the goal
00:13:32
is like get through high school and then
00:13:34
they're like on their own and they
00:13:35
figure it out um and in conversations
00:13:38
we've had before I feel like both of our
00:13:39
parents kind of had more of this
00:13:41
intention of like there's more to life
00:13:43
past high school so we need to also prep
00:13:44
our kid so talk a little bit about that
00:13:47
so for me I I think like my parents
00:13:50
really they always focused on academics
00:13:53
so like that was a big um something of
00:13:55
importance for them like a lot of my
00:13:56
curriculum probably based on the well
00:13:58
trained my
00:13:59
thing that my mom read um was based in
00:14:02
like classical um learning like I
00:14:05
learned Latin and we did um logic and
00:14:08
critical thinking courses stuff like
00:14:10
that things that I feel like really did
00:14:13
I think I think they were beneficial I
00:14:14
think they helped prepare me for um
00:14:17
further education and learning and being
00:14:19
critical of what I'm learning and stuff
00:14:22
um and my mom
00:14:23
always put effort into our learning it
00:14:26
was never something that like she
00:14:28
slacked on or
00:14:30
by any means um and going into uh High
00:14:35
School specifically obviously as you're
00:14:36
preparing to go into college um my
00:14:38
parents gave me the option to go to a
00:14:41
you know a private or public high school
00:14:43
in town or stay homeschooled um and I
00:14:45
applied to Villanova I did their high
00:14:47
school placement test I shadowed a
00:14:49
student and through all of that I
00:14:51
realized very quickly that I was not
00:14:53
going to enjoy going there um I know I
00:14:56
mentioned when we talked before that the
00:14:58
n friends who interviewed me were like
00:15:00
do you have trouble making friends and I
00:15:03
was like no not at all I was like I'm H
00:15:07
school but I'm not like a shuted I'm not
00:15:10
a like what I don't remember what they
00:15:12
comment a Hermit right um and then when
00:15:17
I ended up like shadowing the students
00:15:19
and taking their placement test I scored
00:15:22
above the grade level that I would have
00:15:23
been entering in and through discussions
00:15:26
with my parents and me they you know the
00:15:28
school let us know they wouldn't let me
00:15:29
skip classes that I had already taken um
00:15:32
and so I was going to have to repeat a
00:15:33
lot of courses which was something that
00:15:35
I as a kid I was like I don't want to
00:15:37
redo school I already did you know yeah
00:15:40
and so I ended up opting to not go to
00:15:43
Villanova and I didn't want to go to nof
00:15:46
um so I ended up staying homeschooled
00:15:48
and then my sophomore year of high
00:15:50
school I started taking classes at
00:15:51
ventur College um which just to get my
00:15:54
gen EDS done you know have the college
00:15:57
experience um I started off with taking
00:16:00
um a couple classes with my friends so I
00:16:02
took one with Aaron I took one with
00:16:03
aurielle um and then after that I
00:16:06
started doing them on my own um and I
00:16:09
feel like honestly it wasn't as hard as
00:16:12
I expected I kind of anticipated it to
00:16:14
be a lot more difficult and I think
00:16:16
where college classes can be more
00:16:18
difficult for some people is that it's
00:16:19
really independent right you're
00:16:21
responsible for your learning more that
00:16:23
so than maybe in high school where you
00:16:25
have a teacher who's like okay make sure
00:16:27
you turn in your assignments on time and
00:16:28
and blah blah blah and I don't know I've
00:16:30
never been to a public high or private
00:16:31
high school what I assume is kind of the
00:16:35
experience um is different in college
00:16:37
you know it's a lot more independent
00:16:38
sometimes you're responsible for
00:16:40
learning material outside of the class
00:16:42
um that you won't ever be taught inside
00:16:44
of the course and I know for me that was
00:16:46
something that was kind of easy to
00:16:48
adjust to because during homeschooling
00:16:50
in high school I was responsible for
00:16:53
most of my teaching of myself you know I
00:16:55
read my lessons I did my homework I
00:16:57
doctored my own exam you know like just
00:17:01
stuff that we take for granted in being
00:17:04
um I think that's an important
00:17:06
distinction because I didn't really
00:17:07
think about this until I was in college
00:17:10
was the fact that
00:17:11
like when it came to school even at a
00:17:14
young age like yeah my mom maybe would
00:17:16
read the textbook with me or whatever
00:17:17
but like once I was able to really read
00:17:20
and comprehend things on my own it
00:17:22
really came down to like okay here's the
00:17:24
book you're going to do lesson one
00:17:26
through four you know read them do the
00:17:28
worksheets that kind of thing and then
00:17:30
like come back to me and if you have
00:17:31
questions you come talk to me and we'll
00:17:32
discuss it we'll figure it out together
00:17:35
right and she was also especially those
00:17:37
younger age she was also kind of reading
00:17:38
the textbook as well kind of in her own
00:17:41
time yeah um but it set me up so that
00:17:45
like by high school like you said I was
00:17:47
like pretty independent it's like handy
00:17:49
textbook like you know yeah my parents
00:17:52
would maybe come up with the syllabus
00:17:53
but like right if I wanted to get ahead
00:17:56
or I got a little behind it was like on
00:17:57
me to kind of make
00:17:59
work you know and so College was an easy
00:18:01
transition because the weirdest part
00:18:03
about college for me was I didn't
00:18:06
understand why we had to sit for an hour
00:18:07
and a half in a lecture like I was like
00:18:09
is this just all in the book like like
00:18:11
let me just read the book you know and
00:18:13
then I'll take the test um so it took a
00:18:16
while to adjust to that concept but
00:18:19
right I I don't know I don't know if you
00:18:20
had a similar thought or not when we
00:18:22
were in college or not I think I think
00:18:24
for me cuz like my really my only
00:18:27
experience with a class outside of
00:18:28
College was Mrs yep's writing class and
00:18:30
literature love those shout out to Mrs
00:18:35
hiep but like going from having that be
00:18:38
my only experience outside of college
00:18:40
and then into college I was like this
00:18:42
really isn't as bad as I thought it
00:18:43
would be the exams weren't as hard um
00:18:46
I'm lucky in that I test pretty well I
00:18:47
don't know I feel like I can figure out
00:18:49
like a teachers's like testing style
00:18:52
pretty well after the first exam and
00:18:54
then it makes it a lot easier for me
00:18:55
which I don't know maybe that's my mom's
00:18:57
critical thinking and
00:19:00
logic courses that she
00:19:02
put um I just remember being like okay
00:19:05
if I pay attention in
00:19:07
class personally this is like my
00:19:09
learning style I was like if I pay
00:19:10
attention in class like really focus I
00:19:13
don't have to read the textbook and I
00:19:14
don't really have to study that much it
00:19:16
just kind of embeds itself in my brain
00:19:18
yeah and so I figured out very quickly
00:19:20
that I was like oh I don't really need
00:19:22
to do much outside of go to the course
00:19:23
and then complete my homework and then
00:19:25
you know study a little for the exam in
00:19:27
order for it to be do doable but I also
00:19:30
recognize that that's not like
00:19:32
everybody's learning style and so I
00:19:34
think that when I was in college I was
00:19:35
like dang like these exams for me are
00:19:37
easy but I have classmates who I know
00:19:39
are really smart and they're really
00:19:41
struggling on these exams so there's
00:19:43
like a disconnect between like truly
00:19:46
evaluating someone's knowledge and the
00:19:49
ways we do it in traditional education
00:19:51
systems um and I think that's why
00:19:54
homeschooling I don't know it worked for
00:19:56
me was because it we could adjust it you
00:19:58
know kind
00:19:59
our needs and like you said you get to
00:20:01
college and you're like why do I have to
00:20:02
sit in a class if I could just read this
00:20:03
you know like for you reading the
00:20:05
textbook would be much more beneficial
00:20:07
than having to sit there for hours yeah
00:20:09
exactly I loved the classes that were
00:20:11
like a lab class because I was like okay
00:20:12
at least we get to do something do
00:20:14
something yeah pass the time so and
00:20:15
that's what I was used to like I mean I
00:20:18
I'm trying to remember I know at one
00:20:19
point in high school and I I want to say
00:20:21
you were there for this but like we did
00:20:23
science classes where we would do the
00:20:25
labs like together there was a small
00:20:26
group in Ohio that we get together I
00:20:28
know I did one at the Peter's house I
00:20:31
think that's what I'm thinking of yeah
00:20:33
yeah yeah we I think it was Kim we did
00:20:35
that year yeah so her house so it was
00:20:37
cool because one we really only needed
00:20:40
once we we just all did the science
00:20:42
experiments together and so it was it
00:20:44
was nice because it was like okay
00:20:46
everyone went and read the textbooks on
00:20:47
their own and we did our things at home
00:20:49
we took our test and then we just get
00:20:50
together once a week or every other week
00:20:52
or whatever do a science experiment
00:20:54
there's like six to eight of us easy in
00:20:56
someone's backyard M you know and
00:20:59
I I think that was one of the cool
00:21:00
things about the ohigh group and was the
00:21:03
fact that like we did things like that
00:21:05
right where it's just like there would
00:21:07
be classes where somebody's mom would
00:21:09
teach the specific thing that maybe they
00:21:10
were just much more talented in exactly
00:21:12
like we had enough parents that they had
00:21:14
like a wide variety of Specialties in
00:21:17
terms of like hey I actually majored in
00:21:19
something similar to this so here you go
00:21:22
I'll you the kids this year you know
00:21:24
yeah and then there were a great
00:21:25
research you brought up Mrs Yip Mrs Yip
00:21:27
was I want to Mrs Yip was a homeschool
00:21:30
mom at one point and then had just
00:21:33
continued great question Mrs hiip if you
00:21:35
are listening to this I would love to
00:21:37
interview you um want hear from you
00:21:40
you've gotten many shout outs on this
00:21:41
podcast um yeah uh and if she hasn't
00:21:44
heard it if you are in contact with Mrs
00:21:46
Yip send her the show and be like hey um
00:21:48
Jacob wants to talk to you um because
00:21:51
she was a great she was she was uh uh
00:21:54
like writing she was a writing class
00:21:56
right so I she taught took English Lit
00:21:59
or I don't know if it was English
00:22:00
literature but I took literature with
00:22:02
her as well yeah but she was just really
00:22:04
talented in like explaining how all of
00:22:07
that worked where like I mean I I joked
00:22:09
with somebody that when I was in college
00:22:10
I pasted like her all the worksheets
00:22:13
that she gave us of like the bandw and
00:22:15
the sentence openers and all that stuff
00:22:17
was all on my wall so I had my desk and
00:22:18
then my wall right here was just all Mrs
00:22:20
yip's worksheets and I would just refer
00:22:23
to them as I wrote papers and I mean hey
00:22:25
I I never got below a B in my papers so
00:22:27
I'm like had a one of my one of my
00:22:30
English teachers in uh at my University
00:22:33
told me she sat me down when we were
00:22:35
going over my final paper and she was
00:22:37
like I would be really disappointed if
00:22:39
you didn't at least consider getting a
00:22:41
minor in English and I was like it's not
00:22:44
going to happen but I'm glad he did that
00:22:46
positively and I was like that's for
00:22:49
you I like I wouldn't be
00:22:52
here yeah she yeah she taught us so many
00:22:55
of the secrets and things like that and
00:22:57
that's and I love of reading too I think
00:23:00
just that's something like she had you
00:23:02
know such great book recommendations and
00:23:03
a variety of you know styles that I
00:23:06
think like because we read the gier I'm
00:23:08
sure you probably read that too um and
00:23:11
that really got me into like dystopian
00:23:12
literature which was a fun thing for me
00:23:14
and like Junior High and high school um
00:23:18
and we read you know tons of other stuff
00:23:20
that during that class you know like the
00:23:23
um number of the Stars which I think is
00:23:25
the one about the um was she Jewish or
00:23:28
was the her frenchish anyways you know
00:23:30
the Holocaust and then yeah um I think
00:23:32
walk down the moon was about indigenous
00:23:36
people groups in America or based on one
00:23:39
um and like a variety of texts that I
00:23:42
think
00:23:43
really helped me find my interest you
00:23:45
know which at the time was dystopian
00:23:47
literature um and so I was really
00:23:50
grateful that I'm still very grateful
00:23:52
for that yeah no I think again it just
00:23:56
goes back to that was the cool thing
00:23:58
about homeschool our experience
00:24:00
homeschooling is just that in addition
00:24:03
to having our parents who were very much
00:24:06
involved and very like I I think they
00:24:09
wanted the best for us but they also
00:24:12
gave us a ton of resources outside of
00:24:14
just themselves to learn from and that
00:24:16
made a huge difference I think in just
00:24:18
the way that like it shaped us because
00:24:20
we had outside influence aside from just
00:24:23
like my parents are the only ones giving
00:24:25
me curriculum and education right um
00:24:27
right and that's important I think for
00:24:30
kids absolutely so and and even then
00:24:32
like I took classes with Mrs yep my mom
00:24:34
and my grandma are both
00:24:36
um very proficient writers both of them
00:24:39
have actually written novels my grandma
00:24:41
published my mom is hesitant to publish
00:24:43
she should
00:24:45
though but like I I'm like my my family
00:24:49
my parents are both you know like very
00:24:51
knowledgeable about things but they were
00:24:52
still not afraid to like Outsource my
00:24:55
learning to people they felt would be
00:24:56
even better at it you know yeah my mom
00:24:58
really excels in like educating us on
00:25:01
stem topics which came in helpful for me
00:25:04
because I ended up going into nursing
00:25:07
and uh my mom's major is in kinesiology
00:25:09
so she knows human anatomy very well we
00:25:12
had human anatomy books in the house and
00:25:13
that was something that I read for fun
00:25:15
growing up and um it kind of broadened
00:25:19
our like you said parents who let us go
00:25:21
out and learned from other people who
00:25:23
had Specialties and also I was thankful
00:25:25
for the ones that my parents were good
00:25:27
at my dad knows a lot about programming
00:25:29
and stuff which still is far above my
00:25:34
head yeah but appreciate the effort yeah
00:25:37
exactly but at least you had kind of an
00:25:39
understanding or just you yes it was
00:25:42
there you know um that's that's
00:25:44
important and I think it's cool that
00:25:47
yeah that you had parents who kind of
00:25:50
like gave you the ability to also kind
00:25:53
of seek out what you were interested in
00:25:55
so at what point did you settle on like
00:25:57
okay I think I want to go to nursing or
00:25:59
at least want to go into like health of
00:26:00
some kind I so it's really funny we
00:26:03
actually there's a um a family we knew
00:26:06
the dad I think he was in film school I
00:26:09
want to say and he decided to do a
00:26:11
little documentary special thing for his
00:26:13
one of his classes I think I I don't
00:26:15
really remember because this is when I
00:26:16
was young on my sister Edie with um
00:26:19
Angelman syndrome and so during that he
00:26:21
interviewed me and I was like maybe
00:26:24
maybe seven at the time six seven and in
00:26:27
his little interview with child be he's
00:26:29
asked me you know like what I want to be
00:26:30
when I grow up and I was like I want to
00:26:32
be a doctor or a scientist so I can help
00:26:35
you know like find a cure for Angelman
00:26:37
syndrome um and I want to be a mommy too
00:26:40
and it was really cute I have that
00:26:42
little clip on my phone saved because
00:26:44
it's really sweet but ever since I was
00:26:46
little I wanted to go into some kind of
00:26:48
stem field relating to health care or
00:26:51
biology you know um genetic you know
00:26:54
genetic something like that um so it
00:26:56
wasn't like me settling on nursing
00:26:59
wasn't really far-fetched
00:27:01
ever but I came to really decide on it
00:27:05
when I was in high school actually I
00:27:06
feel like I was like one of very few
00:27:07
people who in like the world ever who's
00:27:10
like I'm gonna do this now and I know it
00:27:12
pretty early on and I actually did it um
00:27:15
which I'm thankful for because I'm too
00:27:17
indecisive otherwise in every other area
00:27:19
of my life to make a decision so
00:27:21
thankfully that one thing came to
00:27:24
me but I pretty early on in high school
00:27:28
I wanted to go into nursing um I just I
00:27:31
was around it a lot with my sister um
00:27:33
being you know medically complex and so
00:27:36
I had been you know to the hospital a
00:27:38
bajillion times the ER you know like
00:27:42
Radiology we went to UCLA every year she
00:27:45
just had her annual neurology
00:27:46
appointment at UCLA like yesterday I
00:27:48
think um and so I grew up around a wide
00:27:52
variety of healthcare professionals I
00:27:53
got to see what they each did um and I
00:27:56
remember being really thankful for the
00:27:59
nurses because they were always the ones
00:28:00
that would stop kneel down to my level
00:28:04
and tell me that they were going to take
00:28:06
good care of my sister that she was
00:28:08
going to be okay you know like when
00:28:09
things were scary right um because my
00:28:11
sister has epilepsy um the type of
00:28:14
seizure she has can be fatal and so when
00:28:17
we were trying to figure out early on
00:28:19
how best to control those with
00:28:20
medications Etc um it was really the
00:28:25
nurses that I remember being there and
00:28:27
providing me a sense of comfort in
00:28:28
something that was really unknown and
00:28:31
terrifying for a young kid you know like
00:28:33
you're you're not really you don't have
00:28:35
a grasp on
00:28:36
mortality and like these really scary
00:28:39
things that are happening and like it
00:28:42
was totally new to me as a kid and my
00:28:44
family even and so to have someone be
00:28:48
able to step in and say hey like she's
00:28:50
going to be okay we're going to take
00:28:51
good care of her she's just going to
00:28:53
take a nap you know um for when she need
00:28:55
to be sedated for procedures Etc
00:28:58
um was really something that stuck with
00:29:01
me and so when I got to high school and
00:29:02
I was like what do I want to do do I
00:29:04
want to go to R school I was like not
00:29:07
really I was like you know I think I'd
00:29:09
really like to be a nurse I'd like to be
00:29:10
that for other people not just children
00:29:12
but yeah um be that sense of comfort and
00:29:17
um confident like Proficiency in taking
00:29:21
care of people medically so that's kind
00:29:24
of what led me to do it and then I just
00:29:27
followed the path
00:29:29
academically um from there on out and
00:29:32
here I am today so yeah yeah so you are
00:29:34
a nurse currently I know you are kind of
00:29:36
on leave or the last time we chatted you
00:29:39
were kind of on leave because you
00:29:40
recently had a baby
00:29:42
um girl so yeah so yeah tell tell us
00:29:45
okay so you so you're married you you
00:29:47
have a baby now how old is your baby
00:29:50
she's 10 months so we're closing in on
00:29:53
year which is like I can't it's
00:29:55
horrifying I can't believe that it's
00:29:56
already been year it feels like she was
00:29:57
born just yesterday so yeah but um yeah
00:30:02
she 10 months I love her to death um and
00:30:06
I actually the job I think I don't I
00:30:10
don't remember if I had mentioned it
00:30:11
last time we chatted um but I had
00:30:13
applied for a full-time position um
00:30:15
because I wanted to go back to work
00:30:16
full-time because you know things are
00:30:19
expensive yeah and I would like to keep
00:30:21
my nursing skills um so I had applied
00:30:25
for one and interviewed for it and I got
00:30:26
the to so I'm going to be in a new
00:30:28
position here shortly which I'm very
00:30:29
excited about um I'm actually thank you
00:30:33
I'm actually going to be stepping away
00:30:34
from the bedside um bedside care and so
00:30:37
I'm going to be going into our um
00:30:39
clinical education department at our
00:30:40
hospital so I'll be doing um kind of
00:30:44
like inservice management and um code
00:30:47
drills and like further education or you
00:30:51
know like skills education for our
00:30:53
nursing staff and other um ancillary
00:30:55
staff at our hospital so I'll be doing
00:30:59
kind of like tutoring but that's
00:31:02
awesome that's good though because it's
00:31:04
like I I mean one like if Co taught me
00:31:08
anything it's the importance of the
00:31:10
healthcare um professionals um
00:31:13
specifically like our nurse our nurses
00:31:15
and our doctors um and um so yeah
00:31:18
congrats I'm clapping over here for you
00:31:20
um because that's an amazing that's a
00:31:22
hard job and it's an amazing job and um
00:31:25
and with your personality and with every
00:31:27
everything I know about you and your
00:31:29
life and things like that I I know you
00:31:31
are fantastic at your job
00:31:34
so don't mess it up please
00:31:38
um I'm excited I'm excited for it you
00:31:40
know I really enjoyed my tutoring job in
00:31:42
college and as much as I miss tutoring
00:31:44
chemistry it'll be nice to do um kind of
00:31:48
use my educational skills in a yeah new
00:31:52
topic that I know even more about so
00:31:54
good good and you brought up so you
00:31:57
brought up earlier that you were kind of
00:31:59
like considering potentially like
00:32:00
homeschooling your daughter now which I
00:32:02
think is cool because like I mean one
00:32:04
like if you're going to kind of be
00:32:05
teaching as a part of your job now
00:32:07
you're also kind of setting those skills
00:32:08
in place but obviously your daughter's
00:32:10
not even one yet but are you like when
00:32:14
it comes to The Homeschool world and
00:32:16
like thinking about homeschooling her
00:32:18
like you know what I guess what's going
00:32:20
through your brain when you're thinking
00:32:21
about that yeah I think for me I really
00:32:24
benefited from homeschooling I think it
00:32:26
worked great for me I was really appre
00:32:28
for the effort my parents put in I think
00:32:29
my parents were um really well prepared
00:32:33
to homeschool which is something that
00:32:35
I'd hope to be also you know I I'll
00:32:37
always say that homeschooling is not for
00:32:38
everybody not it's not for every student
00:32:40
it's not for every parent um I don't
00:32:42
think that everybody should homeschool
00:32:44
their children I don't think that every
00:32:46
child would be most benefited by being
00:32:50
homeschooled um I think it worked out
00:32:52
for me I'd love to give it a try with my
00:32:54
daughter um but you know we'll see maybe
00:32:56
it doesn't work out for her maybe she'd
00:32:58
thrive in a public school environment or
00:33:00
a private school environment so we'll
00:33:02
see but I going into it I really want to
00:33:05
give the same attention and care to um
00:33:08
like her educational foundations and
00:33:11
knowledge that my parents did because
00:33:13
I'm feel like I really benefit from it
00:33:15
and then on top of it too you know I
00:33:17
have time to think about it it would be
00:33:19
lovely to stay at home with her I would
00:33:21
love to spend more time with my daughter
00:33:23
and whatnot you know she's going to be
00:33:24
going to daycare um while I when I start
00:33:27
my job in a few weeks here so I'm sad
00:33:30
about that I'm excited to have my like
00:33:33
adult Independence again and talk to you
00:33:36
know someone who's over the age of a
00:33:38
one-year-old um during the day but um I
00:33:43
you know I do grieve the fact that I
00:33:45
won't get to see her for the hours that
00:33:47
I went at work because she's a ham love
00:33:49
her to death um so it's something that I
00:33:53
think I would enjoy I would love
00:33:54
teaching her I think I know her
00:33:57
personality change a lot before she's
00:33:58
school age but right now she's very
00:34:01
energetic and full of life and I think
00:34:03
it would be she'd be a fun adventure to
00:34:05
do things with go on field trips with
00:34:08
and so if if the opportunity presents
00:34:09
itself if I'm able to you know find a
00:34:12
work schedule or not work or whatever
00:34:15
works out in order to provide her with
00:34:18
hes school education I would love to do
00:34:19
it yeah I'd love to find other families
00:34:21
you know that are looking to do the same
00:34:23
thing I think that' be really fun and I
00:34:26
know I I think it's I I come from a
00:34:28
positive experience with it so I would
00:34:30
love to be able to also give her the
00:34:32
opportunity for that but also the same
00:34:34
flexibility that my parents gave me and
00:34:36
that I didn't have to stay homeschooled
00:34:37
if I didn't want to yeah so no I think
00:34:39
that's you know life is phases that's
00:34:41
what I've learned it's it's just it's
00:34:43
always these phases and I personally
00:34:47
this sound woohoo but I I kind of
00:34:49
believe in manifestation I believe in
00:34:51
like setting goals and expectations and
00:34:52
things like that also being flexible but
00:34:55
you know putting it out into the
00:34:57
universe that it's like I would love to
00:34:58
do this but I'm also open to the abil to
00:35:01
the possibility okay maybe home school
00:35:02
isn't for her but I would love to give
00:35:04
it a shot all those things yeah it the
00:35:06
universe listens and it comes back and
00:35:08
it answers those things sometimes in
00:35:10
really weird and strange ways and so
00:35:13
yeah I I hope the same I hope that you
00:35:15
know you guys are able to figure it out
00:35:16
and find time to do that and you know
00:35:19
but the regardless of that I know from
00:35:21
our last conversation I mean the last
00:35:23
time we chatted on the phone uh your
00:35:26
baby was also there and so was great it
00:35:28
was like the three of us chatting um and
00:35:30
it was fantastic but uh I can tell you
00:35:34
love your daughter so much it's so
00:35:35
evident and I I think that is the core
00:35:38
of like and and you want what's best for
00:35:40
her and that is what I've realized is
00:35:42
like the core of all of like a lot of
00:35:44
The Homeschool people I've talked with
00:35:45
is like the parents who have loved their
00:35:47
kids so much and what the best for them
00:35:49
their kids have just thrived in life and
00:35:51
I recognize that maybe the best for her
00:35:53
won't be being homeschooled and that's
00:35:54
why I'm I have to accept that you know
00:35:57
like was best for me was being
00:35:58
homeschooled I loved it you know I think
00:36:00
my mom I'd like to think my mom enjoyed
00:36:02
homeschooling me um shout out to my
00:36:04
mother good question I mean Christmas is
00:36:06
coming you can ask her you you know
00:36:09
Mommy yeah but um I mean she did it with
00:36:12
my younger sibling so I mean if I was
00:36:15
horrible she probably would have never
00:36:16
done it again so I'd like to think that
00:36:18
that's proof enough um but you know it's
00:36:21
one of those things I love my daughter a
00:36:22
lot and I would love to give her you
00:36:24
know uh the blessing of the education I
00:36:26
feel I had um but if she doesn't feel
00:36:29
that that's right for her then so be it
00:36:32
you know I want I just want her to be
00:36:33
happy and um her to be able to pursue
00:36:36
what she wants to pursue and in that
00:36:38
kind of on that different topic I don't
00:36:40
think that um there totally in aide but
00:36:42
I don't think that everybody needs to go
00:36:44
to college if it's not beneficial to
00:36:46
their career you know um so whatever she
00:36:49
decides to pursue in her life I want to
00:36:51
support her um within reason obviously
00:36:53
and don't do anything too crazy I'm like
00:36:56
maybe if get into any high-risk sports
00:36:59
like football I don't I'm like the too
00:37:01
many head injuries I see too much in the
00:37:03
hospital I'm like maybe don't do that no
00:37:06
skydiving but but anything else you know
00:37:10
maybe craft with Mommy like yeah that's
00:37:13
pretty safe that's pretty safe yeah no
00:37:15
it's safe she can work in like you know
00:37:17
stuffed animals you know creating
00:37:18
stuffed animals it's a safe environment
00:37:21
stff the things I S exactly Build The
00:37:23
Bear great career there you
00:37:26
go they have good benefits I have no
00:37:28
idea Yeah well yeah good question um I
00:37:32
do want to Pivot this is g to be a
00:37:33
little bit of a hard pivot but I do want
00:37:35
to talk about this because this is
00:37:36
something we chatted about last time I
00:37:37
think it's important is that I know you
00:37:41
as just like one of the most happy
00:37:42
go-lucky like Smiley bubbly people in my
00:37:45
in my world and um but I know that
00:37:49
typically behind a lot of people who
00:37:52
exude that kind of Happiness there tends
00:37:54
to be other things they you know some
00:37:57
mental health struggles and things like
00:37:59
that and that was something we chatted
00:38:00
about before and you were open to
00:38:02
talking to our audience a little bit
00:38:03
about that and so um I don't exactly
00:38:06
know where to start with that or what my
00:38:08
question is there
00:38:10
but I don't know I don't know give I
00:38:14
guess I guess share with the listeners a
00:38:16
little bit about I guess the Dark Side
00:38:19
of of aloette unfortunately like that's
00:38:23
kind of a awful way of putting that but
00:38:25
no I mean I definitely felt like it um
00:38:28
so what we talked about before is that
00:38:30
during especially high school but for
00:38:32
much of my young life and I mean even
00:38:34
now it's something I always struggle
00:38:35
with you know I've always um kind of
00:38:38
dealt with mental health struggles and
00:38:40
growing up it was something that we
00:38:42
didn't talk about in my family it was
00:38:43
just like you know it wasn't didn't come
00:38:46
up nobody asked about it you know we had
00:38:49
enough to deal with with my sister who's
00:38:50
disabled you know that like she's got
00:38:53
real serious health issues right in my
00:38:55
little kid brain and so it wasn't
00:38:57
something thing I thought like oh I'm I
00:38:59
didn't feel like I was sick because I
00:39:02
saw my sister who had epilepsy and was
00:39:05
really disabled physically and
00:39:06
cognitively and I viewed that as like a
00:39:09
health issue but my thought process that
00:39:13
was like whack i' had no idea that
00:39:15
anything was wrong and so from a very
00:39:18
early age I started manifesting symptoms
00:39:20
of various things you know anxiety and
00:39:23
potentially some obsessive compulsive
00:39:25
traits um and so it was something that I
00:39:29
didn't really ever think of my parents
00:39:30
didn't really like address it you know
00:39:32
when I was little I got really scared
00:39:35
about my sister's health is when she'd
00:39:37
get sick she'd have a seizure you know
00:39:39
fevers illness they would flare seizures
00:39:41
for her and so I would be really
00:39:44
hyperfocused on those things and not
00:39:47
getting sick and if my friend was sick I
00:39:49
was really anxious I'd carry this like
00:39:51
anxiety um about it and it got to the
00:39:54
point where when I was pretty young I
00:39:55
want to say maybe eight or so I would
00:39:58
wash my hands so frequently that my
00:40:00
hands would like crack and bleed and it
00:40:02
was just like really aggressive so I
00:40:04
remember at I my family would have to
00:40:05
like wrap my hands in gauze and Vaseline
00:40:07
just to keep my like
00:40:09
skin from falling off um and that was
00:40:13
something that I dealt with when I was
00:40:15
really little but it was something that
00:40:16
we didn't really think much about
00:40:17
probably because my parents were you
00:40:19
know preoccupied with real serious
00:40:21
health issues with my sister and because
00:40:24
like kids don't like hand lotion so like
00:40:26
you know it makes sense that maybe I'd
00:40:28
get dry hands because I don't use hand
00:40:29
lotion you know I don't have Aqua on
00:40:32
standby and whatnot um but in reality
00:40:37
that was a and maybe the only physical
00:40:39
manifestation of a much deeper um
00:40:42
psychiatric problem and uh is something
00:40:45
that now I look back on and I go wow
00:40:47
that was like the first like some of the
00:40:49
first like moments where if anybody had
00:40:52
really asked me about what I was
00:40:53
thinking about during the day they would
00:40:54
have realized something was wrong um
00:40:57
because I would have these moments where
00:40:59
I'd be doing my home school at our
00:41:01
little desk with the candle of wisdom
00:41:03
that my mom lit every morning and i' you
00:41:06
know every hour or so have to go out and
00:41:08
count every single one of our pets and
00:41:10
our family members make sure everybody
00:41:12
was okay and if I couldn't find someone
00:41:14
it was like meltdown you know I was like
00:41:16
where I'd have to Loop the house and the
00:41:18
backyard until I found everybody um and
00:41:22
that kind of that behavior and the
00:41:25
handwashing and stuff um wasn't
00:41:27
necessarily what I carried throughout my
00:41:28
whole life but in high school it
00:41:29
manifested as like really severe anxiety
00:41:32
um and major depression and then
00:41:35
eventually I resorted to um self harm
00:41:38
and I was really struggling with
00:41:39
suicidal ideation which was something
00:41:42
that you know being in a um specifically
00:41:46
very Christian conservative
00:41:48
homeschooling um Community was never
00:41:52
talked about like yeah totally avoided
00:41:56
um and so I didn't know anyone never had
00:41:58
talked to anyone didn't have any friends
00:42:00
who had ever talked about dealing with
00:42:01
mental health issues it was like me and
00:42:04
this void of like outsideness of you
00:42:08
know I know something's wrong now that
00:42:10
I'm a teenager like I know that this
00:42:12
isn't normal right but I have no idea
00:42:15
what to do about it you know like I just
00:42:16
this is how I feel you know I'm just I'm
00:42:18
depressed I don't want to be in
00:42:20
existence it's you
00:42:22
know I feel that there's no point in
00:42:24
reaching out either you know yeah well
00:42:27
I think like you said we grew up in a
00:42:29
very yeah Conservative Christian
00:42:31
upbringing church was big deal for for
00:42:34
your family for my family yeah mental
00:42:37
health was not talked about in church a
00:42:38
lot and I know like I've had anxiety for
00:42:42
a long time as well and um you know F
00:42:46
firstly I want to acknowledge this that
00:42:49
you know um I work with this therapist
00:42:51
and she always talks about Big T versus
00:42:53
little te traumas and things in life and
00:42:55
I think that we sometimes I know for me
00:43:00
growing up that hearing stories of
00:43:03
people I would always compare my
00:43:04
problems of what I was struggling with
00:43:06
to other people and say well they have
00:43:07
like big tea trauma or troubles in their
00:43:10
life and I have like little tea troubles
00:43:12
in my life and traumas and so mine are
00:43:14
like insignificant and I can just kind
00:43:16
of like push it down and move on from it
00:43:18
and and what she's been helping me
00:43:20
realize is that the reality is like no
00:43:22
like every trauma manifests
00:43:25
itself differently and ab things like
00:43:28
that but they're all valid and they are
00:43:30
all trauma and troubles and things that
00:43:31
need to be addressed and and like you
00:43:35
said I think a lot of times they they go
00:43:38
a little bit overlooked because of other
00:43:39
things that are happening in life right
00:43:41
um and the reason I wanted I I wanted
00:43:44
you to share this and wanted to talk
00:43:45
about this is because I think now a lot
00:43:48
of us we're in our 20s we're some of us
00:43:51
in our 30s and we're starting to address
00:43:52
a lot more of these things and be much
00:43:54
more open and recognize these things and
00:43:56
help we need um to address these things
00:43:59
but it's important to know that like
00:44:01
we're not alone in this and a lot of us
00:44:02
were going similar things and but what I
00:44:05
was going to say about the church
00:44:07
situation was that mental health was
00:44:10
never really talked about in church it
00:44:12
was always just kind of like when you
00:44:13
have problems like pray about it yep
00:44:16
pray about it you know read your Bible
00:44:18
more it'll give you the instructions and
00:44:21
the reality is is that like sometimes
00:44:23
you need a little bit more than that and
00:44:25
that's where therapy can come and
00:44:26
helpful and medication can come in
00:44:28
helpful and those kinds of things and
00:44:30
so I guess when at what point did it get
00:44:36
so bad that you were like okay I need I
00:44:38
need some help like and it it really hit
00:44:41
a wall I guess I think for me I know
00:44:44
what she said like about Big T little
00:44:46
tea my big te was my sister right her
00:44:48
issues were so big and so I just
00:44:51
everything push it down deep inside
00:44:54
Let's ignore it um but then it really
00:44:56
came to a head and High School um and
00:44:58
probably during my sophomore year um was
00:45:00
when I really started to decline like
00:45:02
healthwise like I I think we tend to
00:45:05
view mental health as not a not as
00:45:08
legitimate as physical ailments um
00:45:11
unfortunately especially in medicine
00:45:13
even Healthcare Providers do that um
00:45:16
and when you look at someone who maybe
00:45:19
has a you
00:45:21
know fatal disease it we go oh they're
00:45:25
declining if they're you know
00:45:27
approaching death right if they should
00:45:28
be put on hospice Etc um and for me like
00:45:32
in high school was I was really
00:45:34
declining like I was in terms of my
00:45:38
disease that I was battling you know
00:45:40
being major depression suicidal ideation
00:45:43
um I was declining I was approaching my
00:45:45
death and that's the reality of it you
00:45:47
know I was seriously unwell um I was you
00:45:52
know hardly sleeping really hyperfixated
00:45:55
on how I was everything that was wrong
00:45:58
in my friends and my family's life and
00:46:01
my own life like I would never be happy
00:46:03
you know and these were things I
00:46:05
couldn't control I just that was how I
00:46:07
felt and it just felt like that was what
00:46:08
consumed my being um and very few of my
00:46:13
friends really knew how bad it was um
00:46:16
and even you know some of the ones that
00:46:18
I did tell it was really uncomfortable
00:46:20
for them to hear and so they were not as
00:46:22
maybe supportive as they could have been
00:46:24
but I understand it's because it's not
00:46:26
talked about you know when it's
00:46:27
something you you don't even know how to
00:46:29
respond to how do you know how to
00:46:30
comfort someone if it's the first time
00:46:32
you're ever hearing of someone thinking
00:46:33
such dark things you know um so it got
00:46:35
to a point where I had a mentor who I
00:46:38
had um confided in about my issues um
00:46:42
just that the mentor had watched me
00:46:44
decline um and was like came to me and
00:46:47
was like you know what I need think you
00:46:48
need to talk to your parents about
00:46:50
getting some professional help um and I
00:46:54
was really obstinate about it I was
00:46:56
really against it I didn't want to tell
00:46:58
my parents because my parents had
00:46:59
actually found out about me self Haring
00:47:01
like you know within the past year
00:47:03
before that and it was like my parents
00:47:05
had felt really guilty about it like it
00:47:06
was their fault even though it wasn't it
00:47:08
wasn't anything in particular that my
00:47:09
parents had done I was just mentally ill
00:47:11
you know um and essentially nothing had
00:47:15
been done about it it was just my
00:47:17
parents felt really guilty and I all my
00:47:20
Shavers got taken away I couldn't shave
00:47:22
my armpits anymore which was not great
00:47:23
for a teenage
00:47:25
girl and so was like this whole thing
00:47:27
where the last time I had talked to my
00:47:29
parents it hadn't done anything and it
00:47:31
just made me more self-conscious because
00:47:33
I was like oh my gosh I can't shave my
00:47:34
armpits which was like life ending at
00:47:37
the time yeah um and so it was this
00:47:40
whole thing but eventually they were my
00:47:43
mentor was like hey you need to talk to
00:47:45
your parents about this um and if you
00:47:47
don't I will talk to them and so I was
00:47:49
like can I write a letter to them and
00:47:51
you take it to them and sit with them
00:47:53
while I open it and so I can not be
00:47:55
there I can go over to a friend's house
00:47:56
or something thing you know and so
00:47:58
that's ended up that's what I ended up
00:48:00
doing I wrote a letter to my parents
00:48:01
saying that you know I was still
00:48:02
struggling um you know I was still self
00:48:05
Haring and that I think I needed
00:48:07
professional help and so um the end
00:48:10
result of that was I ended up going to
00:48:12
um a licensed therapist and receiving
00:48:15
cognitive behavioral therapy and that's
00:48:18
um really when my life turned around and
00:48:20
that was in
00:48:21
2014 um and I you know at first was
00:48:27
really kind of the classic teenager like
00:48:29
yeah whatever okay you know like this
00:48:31
isn't going to really help me and little
00:48:34
by
00:48:35
little my shell of skepticism um cracked
00:48:39
and I was able to really be able to
00:48:42
focus my um thoughts on other things and
00:48:46
you know there's a whole lot to
00:48:47
cognitive behavioral therapy that I
00:48:48
won't get into um but it's my our Focus
00:48:51
for my treatment was on thought rewiring
00:48:54
thought remapping um depending on who
00:48:56
you're talking to they'll word it
00:48:58
differently um but being able to come to
00:49:02
face the thoughts that I was having and
00:49:04
walk away from them instead of being
00:49:06
controlled by them and so it was
00:49:07
something that was really helpful for me
00:49:09
and I did therapy for seven years um off
00:49:14
and on um mainly because I moved to
00:49:16
college and found a new therapist and I
00:49:19
got really lucky in that the two
00:49:21
therapists that I was with for those
00:49:22
seven years um were exactly who I needed
00:49:25
in those moments my first therapist was
00:49:27
like a grandfatherly figure you know
00:49:29
someone who was just like warm and
00:49:31
inviting um and then my second therapist
00:49:34
that I had during college um was like a
00:49:36
younger woman who felt really relatable
00:49:39
to me in the moment and that was
00:49:41
something that I really needed because
00:49:43
in college I struggled more with my
00:49:44
anxieties and like social anxiety and
00:49:46
making friends and feeling really closed
00:49:48
off because I was so academically minded
00:49:50
and not focusing on my social needs too
00:49:53
you know we're humans we need we need
00:49:55
people um so having someone who was like
00:49:58
younger and More in tune with those
00:50:01
feelings and in her own way was really
00:50:03
helpful because I felt like um she was
00:50:05
able to give practical advice and listen
00:50:07
to me in a way that was felt more like I
00:50:10
was being understood so those two
00:50:12
therapists I had I was really thankful
00:50:14
for um because they were really uh
00:50:17
lifechanging their care was
00:50:18
life-changing for me in a way that I you
00:50:21
know wouldn't have ever found in reading
00:50:24
Bible passages or prayer yeah and I
00:50:27
think that's something that maybe people
00:50:28
think is scandalous to say I don't know
00:50:31
um but there is a place for you know
00:50:34
like prayer and reading scripture if
00:50:37
that's you know your conviction and
00:50:40
there's a place at which I think you
00:50:42
know if you believe in this that God can
00:50:46
use other people and their gifts and
00:50:48
their skills to provide help right we
00:50:50
don't go to the Bible when someone's
00:50:52
having a heart attack you know like we
00:50:54
go to the emergency room and so I think
00:50:56
with mental health also that's really
00:50:58
important to be able to recognize that
00:51:00
it's a clinical issue there's you know
00:51:02
you have a health problem and you can
00:51:05
pray about it absolutely you know if
00:51:07
that's your your way of um feeling
00:51:11
comfort and your your belief system um
00:51:15
but at the end of the day for some
00:51:17
people not everybody obviously mental
00:51:19
health varies greatly in what is needed
00:51:22
um but for some people myself included
00:51:24
um cognitive behavioral therapy medic
00:51:26
are necessary to be able to function and
00:51:29
it's something I'm very thankful for you
00:51:31
know I worked in the health field now so
00:51:33
I
00:51:34
see
00:51:36
how this is something that me and my
00:51:38
sister were just talking about how thin
00:51:39
the line is between like me and some of
00:51:42
my patients who are hospitalized for
00:51:44
like mental health issues like we're
00:51:46
really not so different and the
00:51:48
difference is that I was able to receive
00:51:51
care I was lucky enough that I had
00:51:52
access to care and um access to
00:51:55
providers who were really helpful for me
00:51:56
and this person didn't you know for
00:51:58
whatever reason and so I'm very thankful
00:52:01
that my parents were open to helping me
00:52:03
receive um therapy and now I'm on Zoloft
00:52:08
because postpartum anxiety is real
00:52:11
unfortunately and uh honestly feel
00:52:14
better than I ever have which is great
00:52:16
you know it's something where I look
00:52:18
back and I go wow that was a really
00:52:22
like can you never mind it was a really
00:52:27
crappy I'm censoring myself time in my
00:52:29
life um and I am so thankful for the
00:52:34
resources I had available and the point
00:52:37
where I am now because looking back it
00:52:39
was really hard to struggle so silently
00:52:41
and not be able to reach out and like
00:52:43
even when I started therapy I know I
00:52:45
mentioned this when we talked about it
00:52:46
before but when I started therapy like
00:52:48
people being like Oh can you hang out oh
00:52:50
no I have a doctor's appointment today
00:52:51
and having to say that every week at the
00:52:54
same time I know it's probably supicious
00:52:56
to some people um but I couldn't I felt
00:53:00
like I couldn't be honest even about
00:53:02
receiving the care that I needed yeah
00:53:05
and without it I wouldn't be here so
00:53:07
yeah no and and I I told you the last
00:53:10
time we chatted I was like I'm so
00:53:11
thankful that you did because I'm glad
00:53:12
that you're still here and I I mean
00:53:16
that's a tremendous story and so and
00:53:18
that's why I wanted you to share it
00:53:19
because I think it it's powerful first
00:53:21
of all um and the fact to know you were
00:53:24
in one place in a very dark place and
00:53:26
now you're in a much better place and
00:53:27
even though you still struggle you get
00:53:29
the help you need you to work on it you
00:53:32
have people in your life that also like
00:53:33
understand what's going on with you and
00:53:35
support you in that and that's important
00:53:37
you have a partner who you know is is
00:53:40
with you he's amazing yeah he sounds
00:53:42
amazing and things like that and I think
00:53:44
to your point of like it is very hard
00:53:47
when we were in high school especially
00:53:49
to talk about anything like that where
00:53:51
it's like it does feel this weird
00:53:54
shameful thing and I don't know descri
00:53:57
it yeah it
00:53:58
it's it's hard because I like I don't
00:54:02
even know like
00:54:04
it's not to go too much down like the
00:54:06
Purity culture rabbit hole but like
00:54:08
there's so many things about like
00:54:09
religion and and Christianity
00:54:11
specifically that there this like shame
00:54:13
built into like you should be ashamed to
00:54:15
feel this way or you should be ashamed
00:54:16
to question these things um at at the
00:54:19
time of recording this I just put out my
00:54:21
episode where I talk about
00:54:22
deconstructing my faith things like that
00:54:24
and it was like there was a lot of Shame
00:54:26
and there a lot of fear around being
00:54:28
vocal about things because yes
00:54:29
absolutely I think
00:54:31
we hope I hope that church is getting
00:54:35
better about this of of being like it's
00:54:37
okay to question things it's okay to
00:54:39
like be hurting it's okay to all these
00:54:41
things like it's I I think I I don't
00:54:44
know I grew up with an understanding
00:54:46
that it's like oh well when you believe
00:54:47
like everything's just good all the time
00:54:48
like God is good and God does good
00:54:50
things to you right so I just kind of
00:54:52
was like when stuff sucked it was like I
00:54:55
I don't feel like I should feel this way
00:54:56
because I'm a Christian and things
00:54:58
should be good what's wrong with
00:55:01
me that caused this to happen right and
00:55:04
then and you see people around you and
00:55:06
they're kind of they're acting like
00:55:07
everything's good too so you're like oh
00:55:09
well I'm the odd man out right and right
00:55:11
but the more we can be vocal about it
00:55:13
and say no I'm over here I'm struggling
00:55:15
with this it's like I've realized now
00:55:17
talking to so many homeschoolers I'm
00:55:18
like oh my gosh like we were all sitting
00:55:19
there being like Oh my gosh I'm drowning
00:55:21
in this despair of like whatever it is
00:55:23
right and I'm like so many of us can
00:55:26
relate to those things in different ways
00:55:29
um and yeah and I think also for parents
00:55:33
listening I think it's important
00:55:36
to share with your kids that things like
00:55:39
this are real and and people have
00:55:41
suicidal ideations people struggle with
00:55:43
depression with anxiety with all these
00:55:45
different things and so also teaching
00:55:47
your kids how to like it's okay to ask
00:55:49
questions about it it's okay
00:55:52
to at the beginning I feel like almost
00:55:54
be kind of weirded out by when when your
00:55:56
tells you those kind of things but learn
00:55:58
how
00:55:59
to help them with it right and be there
00:56:01
for them and I think that was even ask
00:56:04
yes like how can I help you how can I
00:56:06
best be for there for you I think the
00:56:08
friends I had that didn't know how to
00:56:10
react the few that I told like if they
00:56:11
had just been like how can I be there
00:56:13
for you that would have that hearing
00:56:16
that alone would have been really
00:56:18
meaningful because I know like you said
00:56:20
like there I felt alone in my mental
00:56:23
health struggles but I know I wasn't I
00:56:26
know there was probably a lot of us who
00:56:28
felt maybe the exact same way that I did
00:56:29
or was struggling with similar things
00:56:31
but it was that silence that like
00:56:34
self-inflicted
00:56:35
almost isolation that really Fosters
00:56:40
almost a like worsening of it too right
00:56:44
right I'm like the more vocal we are
00:56:46
about these struggles about having
00:56:49
mental health issues like I'm mentally
00:56:50
ill that's the reality like I I'm no
00:56:53
longer ashamed of it it's not something
00:56:54
I worry about I'm very open about it it
00:56:56
like I don't have any problems telling
00:56:58
people that I take so
00:56:59
off because the reality is like my
00:57:02
husband he takes blood pressure
00:57:03
medication is he ashamed of that no
00:57:06
because it's hereditary he can't control
00:57:07
it right no matter how much he takes
00:57:09
care of himself he's going to be on
00:57:10
blood pressure medication if he tells
00:57:11
people that like oh that sucks I'm sorry
00:57:13
but they're not going to judge him for
00:57:14
it right so why should I feel bad about
00:57:17
my condition that I'm treating with a
00:57:19
medication that no matter how much I do
00:57:21
I'm still going to have you know an
00:57:22
anxiety disorder and all this crap right
00:57:25
so yeah it's important to me that people
00:57:28
talk about it more and like you said
00:57:29
being open with kids I want for my
00:57:32
daughter um I want her to grow up never
00:57:35
feeling ashamed of feeling those things
00:57:38
you know we know now uh in current
00:57:40
literature that mental health issues
00:57:43
typically run in families psychiatric
00:57:44
disorders run in families I know there's
00:57:46
a likelihood that she'll probably deal
00:57:48
with some of the things that I'm dealing
00:57:49
with or that you know my people in my
00:57:52
family have dealt with and uh it's
00:57:54
something that I feel like has opened up
00:57:55
a lot um you know my mom also deals with
00:57:58
anxiety we've grown closer over being
00:58:00
able to talk about that together and
00:58:02
being able to empathize with each other
00:58:04
um my siblings as well you know we
00:58:06
empathize with each other better because
00:58:07
we're more open about those things and
00:58:11
it's something that's really important
00:58:12
to me I don't want
00:58:14
anybody specifically that I care about
00:58:16
that I'm close with because I can do
00:58:17
something about it um to feel like they
00:58:20
can't talk about those things because
00:58:21
I've been there it sucks you know and
00:58:25
there's that pressure
00:58:26
in Christianity modern Christianity to
00:58:30
you know be perfect be happy you know
00:58:33
the joy of the Lord right and when you
00:58:36
are unable to feel that it feels like
00:58:38
maybe I'm not Christian enough maybe I
00:58:40
don't love God enough maybe I'm you know
00:58:44
like broken in some way or maybe I'm not
00:58:46
really saved you know a lot of people
00:58:47
have anxiety about um salvation and such
00:58:50
and so that becomes this like
00:58:53
overarching anxiety of I have anxiety
00:58:55
and now I have anxiety about my sa
00:58:57
salvation too um and then nobody talks
00:58:59
about it and like you said being
00:59:01
critical of things asking questions
00:59:02
those are things that um I don't know I
00:59:05
I really struggle with in the modern
00:59:07
Church like they talk about oh the bans
00:59:10
and how the bans like questioned and
00:59:13
researched and read stuff and were were
00:59:17
skeptical about things but they were
00:59:18
good biblical Scholars and so we have
00:59:21
this image that's taught us in church
00:59:23
about oh the brands were good biblical
00:59:25
Scholars they
00:59:26
they learned a lot and were very
00:59:28
interested in learning the truth about
00:59:30
Jesus in the Bible right um but then if
00:59:34
we do that in real life or if we have
00:59:37
struggles it's
00:59:40
like yeah I think I I really think it
00:59:44
comes down to and I think this is just I
00:59:46
I think this is bigger than just a
00:59:47
Christianity problem but I think people
00:59:50
struggle with I think they have there's
00:59:51
a fear in people especially right now a
00:59:54
fear that educ leads to people leaving
00:59:57
the church that
00:59:59
people and I hate to say it I know I get
01:00:01
Flack on this every time I say this but
01:00:03
like things like religion have a sense
01:00:05
of control to them um want to control
01:00:08
people and so to a degree and so
01:00:13
understanding that the reason that they
01:00:14
get scared when you start to ask
01:00:15
questions is because they start to lose
01:00:17
a little bit of that control right and
01:00:20
that's it's just the reality of it like
01:00:23
it really is um and but it's okay it's
01:00:27
okay to like loosen up a little bit and
01:00:28
let people ask questions and let people
01:00:30
seek out answers and things like that um
01:00:33
because it can help them significantly
01:00:34
and yeah absolutely again I mean weal we
01:00:37
we said it before I'll say it again it's
01:00:39
like the more we talk about things like
01:00:41
this the more it enters in and hopefully
01:00:44
people hear it and they it resonates
01:00:46
with them and they go oh maybe I
01:00:47
struggle with that too something I've
01:00:48
learned about recently is generational
01:00:50
trauma yeah it's a whole can of worms
01:00:52
I'm not an expert in this but like do
01:00:53
your own research people but
01:00:55
generational trauma is that trauma that
01:00:56
was like inflicted on your
01:00:57
great-grandparents and it gets passed
01:00:59
down passed down passed down and
01:01:00
manifests itself in different ways
01:01:01
throughout the generations and it can be
01:01:03
things like cancer it can be things like
01:01:05
ailments it can be mental health
01:01:07
struggles it can be all kinds of
01:01:08
different things absolutely it's very
01:01:10
interesting I'm learning a lot more
01:01:12
about it recently um I highly encourage
01:01:14
people to go do do some research on it
01:01:16
because it's just a fascinating um thing
01:01:20
and like you said I'm glad that you have
01:01:21
the ability now to talk to your parents
01:01:23
about things that like your mom like you
01:01:24
said your mom struggles with things
01:01:25
anxiety and that's important to
01:01:28
understand is like Mom and Dad also
01:01:29
struggle with these things and we can
01:01:31
talk about it humanizing them it
01:01:33
humanizes them um because yeah I think
01:01:36
we also grew up with parents I mean I
01:01:38
love my parents and I always viewed them
01:01:39
as human but at the same time there's a
01:01:41
difference between now they are more
01:01:44
than my parents they are like also
01:01:45
friends and people I have a lot more
01:01:47
open dialogue with about right right
01:01:49
right awkward conversations about all
01:01:51
kinds of things um so uh which is
01:01:55
important think you know have those
01:01:57
awkward conversations with your parents
01:01:58
and sit in the awkwardness and let it be
01:02:00
okay um sometimes I think I think
01:02:02
especially in Christian culture we
01:02:04
suffer from the like almost like
01:02:07
santificar Claus ification of our
01:02:10
parents like they're they're very much
01:02:12
when we're little you know like oh my
01:02:14
parents are perfect and they love Jesus
01:02:16
and you know and when you're
01:02:18
homeschooled you're around them all the
01:02:19
time so like everything your parents do
01:02:22
is just like a romanticized and so when
01:02:25
you grow up and you struggle or your
01:02:26
parents hurt your feelings and you're
01:02:28
like Santa no you know that's a great
01:02:32
way to put it I've never I've never
01:02:34
heard it put that way before that's a
01:02:36
great I'm gonna steal
01:02:39
that I don't know how my mom would feel
01:02:41
about being compared to a um plump old
01:02:45
man but um if you will
01:02:48
um the the reality is is like said you
01:02:51
know like we're we're more I'm more
01:02:53
friends with my family my parents now I
01:02:55
feel like I'm close closer now with my
01:02:57
parents than I was ever growing up
01:02:59
especially because I internalized so
01:03:00
much my own issue in order to relieve
01:03:03
them of the burden of my issues on top
01:03:05
of my sister's medical complexity um and
01:03:10
so I'm grateful now that I can talk
01:03:13
about it and not worry and not feel
01:03:14
embarrassed or not feel like I'm like
01:03:16
saying a dirty word when I'm like oh
01:03:18
yeah I start you know up to my medicine
01:03:20
or you know right did this or that you
01:03:23
know because it's something where I feel
01:03:27
like and what I'm really thankful for um
01:03:30
is that my parents have really become um
01:03:33
very supportive of that they I feel like
01:03:35
their understanding of mental illness
01:03:37
and mental Wellness um has increased
01:03:40
just along with mine um and that you
01:03:43
know through my struggles and me
01:03:46
receiving care I feel like maybe they've
01:03:48
also been more open to the idea of it
01:03:51
themselves um and so I don't know not
01:03:55
that my struggling I feel like needed to
01:03:58
happen or do I wish it happened no but
01:04:02
at the same time I think it's beneficial
01:04:03
you know there's something to be said
01:04:04
about if I'm going to have to have gone
01:04:07
through this really tough trial I'm
01:04:10
thankful that we came out the other side
01:04:12
with some positives you know I'm really
01:04:14
close with my mom and my dad now yeah
01:04:16
and I'd like to think that maybe other
01:04:18
people in my life have benefited from me
01:04:20
being honest about my you know mental
01:04:22
struggles and feeling like maybe if they
01:04:25
went through something hard they could
01:04:26
come to me about it because I'm not
01:04:27
going to judge them for it so yeah well
01:04:30
and hopefully too that firstborns
01:04:32
sometimes get the short end of the stick
01:04:34
um I'm also a firstborn kid um but I I
01:04:37
think that
01:04:39
sometimes sometimes it's nice to be the
01:04:41
firstborn
01:04:42
because maybe our parents missed some
01:04:45
things but with our younger siblings
01:04:47
they're able to say okay I need to be
01:04:48
checking in with them to make sure like
01:04:50
they're good or they have the things
01:04:52
that they need um and so I don't know
01:04:55
I'm thankful for that sometimes that's
01:04:57
not the say all are doing but it's just
01:04:59
you know I think parents learn from the
01:05:01
first kid and they're able to implement
01:05:02
with the second third fourth ETA with
01:05:05
homeschooled sometimes down to the 12th
01:05:06
kid um and hopefully by then they've got
01:05:08
it really dialed in um but and my
01:05:12
youngest sister you know she's the
01:05:14
youngest of four right so there's three
01:05:16
of us before her we're all girls so it's
01:05:18
the same thing over and over again
01:05:20
pretty much with the exception of
01:05:21
obviously E's um Advanced Medical needs
01:05:25
but um my youngest sister we always joke
01:05:27
that she's like the final form like of
01:05:29
us like between me and my other sisters
01:05:31
um because she's like so confident like
01:05:34
wait if you asked her like do you worry
01:05:36
about what other people think about you
01:05:37
and she's like not really like and I'm
01:05:39
like I could never imagine feeling that
01:05:41
way but she's so confident in herself I
01:05:44
just facetimed her like yesterday and or
01:05:46
she sent me a video or something and she
01:05:48
was wearing a shirt that said like it
01:05:50
was like her PJs and it said like baddy
01:05:52
Vibes and I was like yes Badd Vibes like
01:05:58
I would never in a million years like be
01:06:00
so confident about myself but she was
01:06:02
like she's like I'm a queen and I know
01:06:04
it and I love that for her because it's
01:06:06
something that you know like I feel like
01:06:07
through each of us like siblings we
01:06:10
slowly got more comfortable with
01:06:12
ourselves and now she's like so
01:06:15
confident and she's an incredible friend
01:06:17
to those around her she's like everybody
01:06:19
calls her their best friend so she's got
01:06:22
like five friends who are like yeah I's
01:06:24
my best friend and she's like thank guys
01:06:27
like and yeah I just I'm thankful that
01:06:30
you know as the oldest sibling even
01:06:32
though I may have been the guinea pig I
01:06:34
can see the benefit of now my younger
01:06:37
sisters
01:06:38
like having come through the other side
01:06:40
and turning out maybe a little better
01:06:42
than I did yeah yeah it's it's a good
01:06:46
feeling take some ownership in that you
01:06:48
know feel proud of pro feel proud of
01:06:50
that welcome yeah I feel like we turned
01:06:54
out okay though
01:06:56
you know we're okay we're okay yeah
01:06:57
we're not to not to Mom Dad you didn't
01:07:01
screw us up too badly okay we live on
01:07:03
our own some have kids we've got jobs
01:07:07
everything's okay we we made it
01:07:09
through sorry this has been oh my gosh
01:07:12
this has been amazing and I feel like we
01:07:14
could just go and go and go I mean the
01:07:15
last time we chatted I think we chatted
01:07:16
two hours um but um this has been
01:07:20
amazing I hope at some point you come
01:07:22
back and we can talk more about other
01:07:24
things as well but but I want I always I
01:07:27
want to leave on this are there any in
01:07:29
in reminiscing and talking about stuff
01:07:31
are there any funny cringey hilarious
01:07:35
just happy homeschool moments that
01:07:36
you're like okay I got to tell the
01:07:37
people about this maybe it was a unique
01:07:39
to your experience maybe it wasn't it
01:07:41
could be something we've already talked
01:07:42
about on the show I I don't know but is
01:07:43
there anything that's like popped in
01:07:44
your brain where you're like oh my gosh
01:07:45
I gotta like gotta say this so okay this
01:07:49
is not specifically involving other
01:07:50
people but I know I mentioned it earlier
01:07:52
in this episode and I don't know if I
01:07:53
told you this when we chatted last
01:07:56
but my mom always lit the candle of
01:07:57
wisdom every day before we did our
01:07:59
school and um you know it was fine
01:08:03
whatever we didn't know at the time that
01:08:05
I was going to have problems with flames
01:08:07
but what happened was one day in my math
01:08:09
book I had the Saxon Math book okay and
01:08:11
the younger grade ones flipped open like
01:08:13
this like vertical not like this they
01:08:16
flipped like this right and I had
01:08:17
flipped over my math book to work on the
01:08:19
next page um and it caught fire oh no
01:08:23
and so my math book literally caught on
01:08:25
fire and thankfully you know crisis
01:08:27
averted bounded it out it was fine you
01:08:29
know but now there was this big old
01:08:30
burnt hole in my math book um and when I
01:08:33
tell would tell people that they'd be
01:08:35
like oh yeah sure it accidentally caught
01:08:37
on fire and I was like no really my
01:08:39
mom's candle of wisdom was right there
01:08:41
and I didn't know and I flipped it over
01:08:43
and and they were like yeah sure you
01:08:45
caught your mouth I'm like it was a page
01:08:46
I already did so it didn't help me
01:08:47
anyways like it was already filled out
01:08:50
um but that was the beginning of a long
01:08:53
line of me catching things on fire uh
01:08:55
caught my hair on fire caught my pants
01:08:57
on fire caught myself on fire a number
01:09:00
of times so me and Flames don't really
01:09:02
mix um and if I could give anyone a
01:09:04
suggestion it would be that if you
01:09:06
homeschool your kids please do not have
01:09:08
a real candle of wisdom get a fake flame
01:09:12
please yeah and we also grew up in
01:09:14
Southern California where Fire's a
01:09:16
problem it's a very it's a very
01:09:18
dangerous thing um this okay so the
01:09:21
candle of wisdom I got to ask this is
01:09:23
this like we also oh is very like hippie
01:09:26
dippy we got witches we've got crystals
01:09:28
we got all kinds of things like that are
01:09:29
we talking like C wisdom candle that's
01:09:32
bought that's like specifically crafted
01:09:34
for wisdom or are we just talking about
01:09:35
like it's just a generic candle that
01:09:36
she's like this is the candle of wisdom
01:09:39
I think it was literally just to like
01:09:40
get me like look it it's school time
01:09:43
we're lighting the candle wisdom it was
01:09:45
just like TL's dog like ringing the bell
01:09:47
it's time for school um I'm pretty sure
01:09:49
it was it though but you know it's oh
01:09:51
high so I got some incense in the room
01:09:54
right now you know I don't live in Ohio
01:09:56
anymore but it's still deep within me
01:09:59
yeah I yeah no I I feel yeah I'm like I
01:10:01
still got some I got my Essential Oils
01:10:04
somewhere around here to H schooled not
01:10:05
homeschooled enough so all this has been
01:10:08
amazing um like I said I hope you come
01:10:10
back uh for a part two at some point or
01:10:13
or something um but thank you yes and
01:10:17
this has been amazing I hope audience I
01:10:19
hope you've got gotten something from
01:10:21
this uh whether it's funny story or
01:10:24
hopefully a desire to be vocal about
01:10:26
when we're struggling with things um be
01:10:29
true to who you are you know and it's
01:10:31
okay if you need help yes please do and
01:10:35
I'm still here even if we haven't talked
01:10:37
in a long time yeah yeah that's exactly
01:10:40
and that's what I like to live on every
01:10:42
episode is just you know if you've got a
01:10:44
story you want to share reach out to me
01:10:46
it's easy right shoot me an email send
01:10:48
me a DM exhs [email protected] or ex exhs
01:10:52
Club on all the socials and stuff like
01:10:54
that shoot me a message just say hey
01:10:56
what's up you know we can talk about an
01:10:58
episode we can talk about your story
01:11:00
maybe we'll have you on the podcast if
01:11:01
you don't want to be on the podcast
01:11:02
that's okay I still want to get to know
01:11:04
you if you have watched this and you go
01:11:06
oh my gosh this made me think of this
01:11:08
person text them today okay text them
01:11:10
shoot them a text shoot them a video
01:11:12
call I don't get do something reach out
01:11:14
to them say hey what's up how are you um
01:11:17
that is how so many people have gotten
01:11:19
on the show that's how I reconnected
01:11:20
with so many of you guys is either you
01:11:22
have reached out to me or I've reached
01:11:23
out to you and it's been amazing I've
01:11:26
reconnected with people I never thought
01:11:28
I would ever talk to ever again in my
01:11:30
life okay um and we've had amazing
01:11:32
conversations and so again just do it
01:11:35
it's okay people if people are busy they
01:11:37
won't respond okay that's that's the
01:11:39
biggest thing that has always held me
01:11:41
back from texting people is they go they
01:11:42
don't have time for me if they have time
01:11:44
for you they will respond if they don't
01:11:46
have time they'll get to it eventually
01:11:47
okay so keep that in mind so this has
01:11:51
been the exom schoolers Club I hope you
01:11:52
tune in next week we'll be back uh with
01:11:55
another great conversation I don't know
01:11:57
who it's going to be yet um but we'll
01:11:59
find out okay peace out
01:12:08
[Music]
01:12:15
[Music]
