00:00:03
we are back another ex- homeschoolers
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Club it is your boy Jacob Gooden and uh
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you know we are in the the best ex-
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homeschooler podcast this side of the
00:00:12
internet today my friend Aaron is on
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with us uh for those of you who are part
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of achieve Aaron McDonald is with us we
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are going to touch on his homeschool
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Journey we're going to touch on art
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stuff we're gonna get we're going to see
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where the conversation goes um it's very
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free flowing but before I bring him in
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here I have one favorite to ask of you
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that is this I am launching a newsletter
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okay so if you're interested in getting
00:00:35
the newsletter with all the updates of
00:00:36
this show uh maybe some book
00:00:38
recommendations I don't know what it's
00:00:40
going to be that's going to be the top
00:00:42
link Down Below in the show notes uh so
00:00:44
go click it give me your email address
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and I'll I promise I won't be spammy
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okay I'm not trying to sell anything I
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just you know I'm going to keep you guys
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updated what's going on that kind of a
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thing and uh yeah so there's that okay
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without further Ado a McDonald how are
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you my friend hi Jacob I'm doing really
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well how are you I I'm doing really well
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too I'm excited to be talking to you um
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it's been a long time that we've like
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seen each since we've seen each other in
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person uh that is um I feel like I ran
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into you in the streets of Ventura at
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some point uh yes as an older kid but
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like I really remember mostly from like
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Junior High and high school and even
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before that I know I was better friends
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with your brother Joe but uh but we were
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still friends we were friendly back in
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the day group Solutions and achievement
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all that stuff so um so yeah thank you
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for coming on the show I'm so excited to
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hear more about your homeschool
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experience and journey so with that I'm
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I'm going to turn it over to you give us
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kind of a little bit of a run through of
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like how long were you
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homeschooled uh you know uh I already
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mentioned you have a brother but like
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give me kind of the background of like
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home life curriculum you used I don't
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know just give me a little bit of the
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homes School journey and we'll we'll
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start there so when I was a kid my or
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like baby up
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through like kindergarten to the maybe a
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grade or two above that my mom had me
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in um regular school and so I was I got
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to do that for a little bit and she got
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a scholarship to UCSB for art
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uh full
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ride and so we moved up to Santa Barbara
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for a little bit when I was four or five
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I think yeah four or five and then she
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got pregnant with my brother Joseph and
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she really wasn't feeling the art
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program as she was seeing it and
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so she they uh my parents decided to
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move back down to Oxnard and
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Ventura and uh just raise me and my
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brother
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so I was I did homeschooling first it
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was konos and then it turned into
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achieve out of that up until high school
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and then in high school I did a
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independent study at El caminao okay so
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I was um I got to go through uh use
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Ventura college instead well I don't
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know that I've had anybody come on who's
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talked about El Camino and but so it was
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through Ventura College
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self-study so did you have classes or
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was it all work from home yeah we had
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classes um part of the class um they
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used Ventura College
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for um like basic math and English and
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uh Spanish and stuff so we got to fill
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out those credits for high school which
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also doubled for ventur college which
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was cool and then
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[Music]
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um otherwise it was like textbook stuff
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that would that I'd review with my
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teacher and visit her two or three times
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a week and that's me kind of jumping
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ahead jumping the gun a little bit of
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like The Homeschool experience but I
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just haven't I hadn't really because I
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never did that so I I was homeschooled
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all the way through but um I know a lot
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of kids who went to El Camino who were
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still pretty involved in The Homeschool
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Community especially who had younger
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siblings who were still being still at
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home um through that but
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um but talk a little bit
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about what was your kind of like
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day-to-day homeschool experience like
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like did you guys obviously you had some
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kind of curriculum but was your mom very
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like set in like we do allca or we do
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all of this one particular type of
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curriculum or was she kind of one of
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those people who like my mom who who
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mixed it all up and was kind of like
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okay we do this for Math and we do this
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for science we do that for that and you
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know that kind of a thing I
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remember going through basic like
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multiplication tables and stuff and
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being
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like real
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frustrated um I was like oh M this is so
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hard this is so hard she was like do you
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want me to change it do you want me to
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change it and I was like yeah yeah like
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I don't know I think I was just
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responding to her anxiety
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about making me
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not making me learn good right and so
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um we changed to this math Pro program
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called matth you see oh love that yeah
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and it was kind of this guy like the
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guy's
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individualistic uh like his individual
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take on math and all the fun tricks that
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he likes to use and stuff so that was
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kind of interesting it was creative dude
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yeah I loved Matthew C for for those non
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homeschoolers who might be listening was
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essentially like especially the early
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years there's a lot of block math
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involved in it so oh he had I don't know
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if you use the blocks at all but he also
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had other stuff too but they they had
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these like you had like a one block and
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then you had think of it almost kind
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it's kind of like Legos in a way too
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it's like you had like a two and then
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like a five and then you had like a 100
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and it was like a 10x1 square and anyway
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but he would show you the example using
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the blocks of like oh here's how you do
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like a multiplication table or here's
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how you do uh you know whatever so you
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build the whole thing and then you could
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individually count it essentially uh
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yeah but yeah he had a bunch of other
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little tricks and stuff too but I still
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think about that when I do
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multiplication tables I what I see is
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like seven by seven or seven by what you
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know whatever the numbers are that's how
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I view it in my head so yeah I like math
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um just how organized it is yeah and
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stuff um
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not really sure how useful it is past
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like
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algebra it it depends on what you go
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into right yeah but for people for
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people like you and I who kind of work
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more of I don't I won't say we work the
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average job but we kind of we don't
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necessarily need math in our everyday
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dayto days right yeah but um even like
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when I was working on bass at the uh
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swimming
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pools they would hire like the engineers
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would be talking to us when they're
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taking a swim and they're like yeah you
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know we got this new girl she was like a
00:07:38
math major and she's helping us like
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launch the rockets and she and she
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thinks everything has to be right
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everything has to be like mathematically
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correct but if it's off course we just
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divide it by two and then get the
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average and then shoot it over
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there and so yeah cuz like math is not
00:08:00
nature and so
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um but it does it is a really pretty
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powerful tool so you and I I feel like
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you and I met through group
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Solutions and I know that
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was I your brother is a little bit
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closer than age to I to me so I know him
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and I had a lot of classes together but
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um were you involved in groups for like
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the majority of your homes School
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experience I know you talked about Kos
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that became achieve but for as long as
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group Solutions existed which I know it
00:08:33
existed a little bit past or I don't
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know it could still exist to this day
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I'm not 100% sure but um but were you
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was group Solutions uh a good chunk or a
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decent chunk I guess you should I should
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say of uh of your homeschool experience
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yeah it
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was I think that
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um there's some pretty cool classes that
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went through group Solutions and abut
00:08:57
there's a lot of good people there yeah
00:09:00
any classes that stick
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out Mr Sanchez's morning talks were
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pretty
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funny I realized that all of his like
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Bible lessons were all from Fight
00:09:15
Club okay I've never put that together
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yeah he was like he would be teaching
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about
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like like giving it up to God and stuff
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okay and he' be and he'd be like the
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things you own end up owning
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you and it was just
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like I watched Fight Club and it like
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like when I was older I watched Fight
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Club and like all came I was like where
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have I heard all this stuff before and
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like oh that's hilarious I told it one
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time uh I don't know when I got to do
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this because I haven't seen them in
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forever but I told Caitlyn Sanchez that
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I was like I feel like all of your dad's
00:10:00
opening sermons were all from Fight Club
00:10:02
and she's like Ah that's hilarious
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because me and my brother used to watch
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that movie all the
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time that's awesome I had never pieced
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that together until you just brought
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that up and you said that I was like now
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it makes me want to go watch Fight Club
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because I'm like I'm gonna pick it up
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I'm gonna I'm gonna think about it I'm G
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be like oh my gosh yeah that's spot on
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so uh Mr Sanchez if you hear this we see
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you we know what you did
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yeah they were good they were good
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sermons they were good they were good
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yeah but yeah the groups I think
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was it was impactful for my homeschool
00:10:41
experience because it was really the
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like the the the social aspect of like
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homeschooling for me was like group
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Solutions massive for that right because
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you get you know couple hundred kids
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together every two weeks and like in
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kind of a regular school setting with
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classroom and like I don't know I think
00:11:01
it was at least for me it was very
00:11:03
important because I was like otherwise I
00:11:05
was just going to be at home uh and so I
00:11:09
don't know that was that was that was
00:11:12
key to the social aspect because one of
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the biggest you know things that
00:11:14
everyone talks about with homeschooling
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it's like oh are you like a weird
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isolated like have no social skills kind
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of a person it's like yeah not I don't
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think so it's like what is your guys's
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experience like oh will they round us up
00:11:30
like cattle and they put us through
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these different classrooms and stuff
00:11:36
talking about regular school
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yeah what was interesting about being
00:11:42
primarily like a Christian
00:11:45
centered um group is that I didn't get
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really get to learn about like uh
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personality types or even like type like
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of course like gender and sexuality
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stuff that was all kind of like coming
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out
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later I
00:12:01
think but looking back I was like oh I'm
00:12:05
like and not even I mean like autism
00:12:08
there was definitely like a lot of
00:12:09
autism in The Homeschool
00:12:12
sphere and so I got to learn a little
00:12:15
bit about that and um but other stuff
00:12:18
like people being gay or like people
00:12:22
coming from rough backgrounds maybe sort
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of have like some sort of personality
00:12:26
disorder and stuff like I didn't know
00:12:27
about any of that stuff
00:12:29
yeah and
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um looking back on people now I'm like
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I'm like oh that's why it was that way
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that's why they're so different and
00:12:39
stuff I think it was it it definitely I
00:12:42
agree with you because homeschooling
00:12:44
tends to lend itself right to the
00:12:46
families who have kids that maybe need a
00:12:49
little bit more of a special education
00:12:50
whether that's something like dyslexia
00:12:52
or
00:12:54
ADHD or like you said autism Asbergers
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like there's a 's a variety of different
00:13:00
things that like kind of lend itself to
00:13:03
being like okay maybe we'd pull a kid
00:13:05
out of Traditional School and put them
00:13:07
in a homeschool environment where you
00:13:09
know Mom and Dad can work much more
00:13:10
one-on-one with them um which just pros
00:13:12
and cons to that but I think it was
00:13:15
interesting because yeah to your point
00:13:16
as kids then we got to experience
00:13:19
growing up with these kids who were kind
00:13:22
of they were different right and like
00:13:25
and we got to learn how to interact with
00:13:27
them which was
00:13:29
I don't know that many kids who you know
00:13:31
grew up with a best friend who has
00:13:33
autism or Asperger maybe it's a little
00:13:35
bit more common now but I don't know at
00:13:38
that time it felt like we were ahead of
00:13:41
the curve so to
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speak yeah it was more accommodating for
00:13:46
that in that environment I was going to
00:13:48
ask you too with so what what your okay
00:13:52
you uh you were obviously hes schooled
00:13:54
from early grade school up to High
00:13:56
School uh to give kind of text for
00:13:59
people what what year did you graduate
00:14:01
high
00:14:02
school in 27 2013 2013 okay yeah cool so
00:14:09
yeah so we're not that far off because I
00:14:11
graduated in 2014 so oh yeah so there's
00:14:14
really not not as big of a g I think
00:14:17
when we're you're younger right the age
00:14:18
Gap always seems much bigger then as we
00:14:21
get older now it just like it's smaller
00:14:23
and smaller um but um no I asked that to
00:14:28
put that in a little bit of context
00:14:30
because that's one of the questions
00:14:31
everybody asks what from who's kind of
00:14:34
outside of the The Homeschool Group we
00:14:36
grew up with where we know all these
00:14:38
people but the people outside of it they
00:14:40
go well when were you guys homeschooled
00:14:41
and I'm like well it was like the early
00:14:42
2000s the 2010s it was kind of the the
00:14:45
era so there was a lot of things going
00:14:47
on and and like you said religious
00:14:49
homeschooling was a big part of what we
00:14:52
grew up with it was like kind of I don't
00:14:55
know about you but religion was kind of
00:14:57
tied into almost everything we did
00:14:59
um yeah curriculum wise studies wise
00:15:02
extracurriculars that kind of a thing
00:15:04
but is that pretty true for you as well
00:15:07
oh definitely did you do anything like
00:15:10
um I know I went to like aanas as a kid
00:15:14
uh stuff like that but
00:15:17
uh I don't know was like I guess talk
00:15:20
about that a little bit like
00:15:22
what was it in the school workor was it
00:15:25
like what how did I guess how did
00:15:26
religion impact your homeschool
00:15:28
experience
00:15:30
it was definitely like a Cornerstone of
00:15:32
the
00:15:35
experience uh I took to religion pretty
00:15:38
intensely as
00:15:42
a um we would go like three times a
00:15:46
week I think and so and I don't know if
00:15:50
it's because I'm sort of somewhat
00:15:53
gullible but I I just I always put like
00:15:56
a real sincere effort into things and
00:15:58
stuff for some reason spiritual stuff
00:16:01
has
00:16:02
always been something that I've always
00:16:05
like clicked with mhm and um so the the
00:16:10
church that we were raised in primarily
00:16:13
was like more like spiritual gifts
00:16:16
focused and like speaking in tongues and
00:16:19
laying on of hands and stuff so it's
00:16:22
like people
00:16:23
from like the Jesus movement in
00:16:26
California yeah and
00:16:29
[Music]
00:16:31
um but it was really it's really good
00:16:33
for my parents because they're pretty
00:16:38
like they're not super like or they're
00:16:40
not super Orthodox or a really uptight
00:16:44
type Christian people they're more like
00:16:47
relaxed
00:16:49
and like
00:16:51
peaceful yeah it's definitely built into
00:16:53
their
00:16:54
routine and stuff like it definitely
00:16:57
influenced me a lot to
00:16:59
get up every morning and to spend
00:17:01
devotional time and then whenever my
00:17:04
parents have like a disagreement or
00:17:07
they're trying to work something out I
00:17:09
always see that they're really trying to
00:17:10
work it out they're not like pitting
00:17:12
against each other or something they try
00:17:15
to work it out and they become two
00:17:16
people and then they they say well what
00:17:18
does God think about this and so then
00:17:21
they they create God is like the
00:17:24
third uh the third voice of what their
00:17:27
highest good would be
00:17:29
between the both of them and I think
00:17:31
that that's a very uh very wise and very
00:17:34
effective way of running a marriage oh
00:17:38
yeah I always thought that that was um
00:17:41
very admirable of
00:17:42
them yeah I think that's an interesting
00:17:46
concept because I
00:17:48
think I'm I'm not religious any longer
00:17:51
or I I'm not Christian any longer let's
00:17:54
let's say that I Won't Say I'm not
00:17:55
religious um I'm more spir I'm more
00:17:58
spiritual than then I am religious I
00:17:59
guess is what I would say now but I
00:18:01
think what's interesting about what you
00:18:02
said was that yeah when Mom and Dad
00:18:05
would have a disagreement they would
00:18:06
bring in ultimately a third party right
00:18:09
God yeah and I think that's interesting
00:18:12
and that's
00:18:13
a I think that's to your point I think
00:18:16
that's a good lesson or a good example
00:18:17
for people to see is like sometimes you
00:18:21
need when you have disagreement with
00:18:22
people sometimes you need that outside
00:18:24
perspective right can kind of come in
00:18:26
and ask the right questions and be there
00:18:28
and help kind of guide through the
00:18:30
situation uh to get those two people to
00:18:33
kind of reconcile and figure out you
00:18:35
know the pa the path moving forward so
00:18:38
yeah because it's and then when you when
00:18:41
you bring it to God so to speak it's
00:18:44
almost
00:18:45
like this version of the highest good
00:18:48
that two people
00:18:50
see steps in like it steps in and it
00:18:53
like everything becomes like Ground Zero
00:18:55
it's not
00:18:56
like oh God wants me like defeat you in
00:18:59
this argument or or God want like you
00:19:02
know that because their Christian
00:19:05
concept of God is love and then love
00:19:08
is um goodness kindness
00:19:11
faithfulness
00:19:14
Etc um all the like God is all those
00:19:17
virtues
00:19:18
based and so I think that that was a
00:19:20
really um good environment to grow up in
00:19:24
I agree with you I agree with you I
00:19:26
think
00:19:28
I won't say that my I I won't say that I
00:19:31
had the exact same experience of really
00:19:33
recognizing when my parents had
00:19:35
disagreements that they were bringing
00:19:37
God into it but I will say I do think
00:19:40
God was such a big part of growing up
00:19:42
that and and to your point it's it God
00:19:44
is love God is all of these things he's
00:19:46
the fruits of the spirit right and
00:19:50
um and so yeah having those kind of play
00:19:52
out inside
00:19:53
of how we work things out and how we
00:19:56
live life and how we you know that was a
00:19:57
very big
00:20:00
yeah key part I think of of childhood
00:20:03
and that was I think where a lot of The
00:20:04
Homeschool Community really connected
00:20:07
because I think on the back end we had a
00:20:08
lot of maybe disagreements when it came
00:20:10
to like you know there's always
00:20:12
disagreements inside of like church and
00:20:14
religion of like the different
00:20:15
denominations and whatever but I think
00:20:18
one of the
00:20:19
univers same I was like what how many
00:20:22
different Christian types are they yeah
00:20:26
but what was cool was ultimately I think
00:20:29
what really was the through thread for a
00:20:31
lot of us was this idea of like uh of
00:20:34
like the Jesus love right and like the
00:20:37
love and and how we need to represent
00:20:39
that to the culture um and what was
00:20:42
being taught to us kids was you know to
00:20:45
love one another and get along with one
00:20:46
another and to like it's okay to have
00:20:48
disagreements but here's how we deal
00:20:50
with them and that's where again group
00:20:52
going back to group Solutions was a
00:20:53
great environment to kind of work
00:20:55
through a lot of that
00:20:57
because we
00:20:59
it was our social it for me it was a big
00:21:01
social element of The Homeschool
00:21:04
experience and I know there was other
00:21:06
things there school dances and field
00:21:07
trips and all that other stuff too but
00:21:10
but group Solutions I think was that
00:21:13
really for me a very pival social aspect
00:21:16
of like just being able to be around
00:21:18
other kids and like kind of have that I
00:21:21
don't know play out I guess a little bit
00:21:23
more seeing girls
00:21:26
what yeah we can talk about that
00:21:29
no cuz cuz that's that's a whole another
00:21:31
can of worms of
00:21:32
like dating I didn't I mean I didn't
00:21:35
date until College yeah I didn't date
00:21:38
till I was like
00:21:40
20 same I don't know something like
00:21:43
something later on well inside The
00:21:46
Homeschool world I don't I feel like
00:21:48
there was I don't know may did you feel
00:21:52
this way the I feel like there was this
00:21:54
message of like well you guys are all
00:21:56
like siblings like you guys all you know
00:21:57
play together and whatever and like you
00:22:00
know they're like your sisters like um
00:22:02
to the opposite sex you know and well
00:22:04
and also because we grew up in a
00:22:06
religious there's also the
00:22:08
heteronormative aspect of like you know
00:22:11
um so not even we can't we that's the
00:22:14
whole another rabbit hole is down into
00:22:17
like LGBT and and sexuality and all that
00:22:19
stuff but
00:22:21
um but F CL yeah
00:22:24
exactly but yeah so dating I don't know
00:22:28
about you it was kind of a no no for me
00:22:30
I also just looked at everybody as like
00:22:32
these are like my siblings I don't know
00:22:33
that I would want to date any of them I
00:22:35
don't know maybe it was different for
00:22:37
you yeah I was not I wasn't allowed to
00:22:40
date or anything and one
00:22:43
time uh
00:22:46
Carrie
00:22:48
um forgot her last name Carrie had this
00:22:51
boat and she wanted me to come on it on
00:22:53
like as like an outing Okay and like
00:22:57
with her mom or her dad driving the boat
00:23:00
or something
00:23:01
and I was like yeah I want to do that I
00:23:04
like I liked her and and um I was like
00:23:08
maybe
00:23:09
like 13 or
00:23:11
14 or something and then my mom was like
00:23:14
you're got to be on a
00:23:16
boat with a
00:23:18
girl no no you can't do that like what
00:23:23
oh okay
00:23:26
whatever and then um
00:23:29
and then she and then Carrie asked Emily
00:23:30
because I had declined the offer and
00:23:32
then Emily was just like on this outing
00:23:35
solo with Carrie it was like supposed to
00:23:39
just be me and her I think she Emily
00:23:41
explained to me later she was like and I
00:23:44
had this like really long kind of it was
00:23:46
I don't know if it was kind of awkward
00:23:48
kind of boat
00:23:52
ride that's just how it was the I I had
00:23:56
John slag boom on and we were talking
00:23:57
about dating and liking girls and and
00:24:00
yeah and I think it was just I mean
00:24:04
dating in general is like awkward uh you
00:24:07
know the first like liking somebody and
00:24:10
having crushes on people and all that
00:24:11
kind of stuff is like always super
00:24:13
awkward but but then you tack on like
00:24:16
The Homeschool World which also like you
00:24:18
said like your mom was very much like
00:24:20
you're not going out alone with those
00:24:22
you know with a girl like that's you
00:24:24
know what are we talking about there so
00:24:25
there's also all these these guidelines
00:24:27
and these rules and these this box that
00:24:29
were put in of like don't do this this
00:24:32
is bad and and you know we don't date we
00:24:35
don't kiss before marriage I the list
00:24:38
goes on and on and on um I don't know
00:24:40
about you a big book that was thrown at
00:24:42
me a lot was like The iiss Dating
00:24:44
Goodbye and like um I'm trying to
00:24:47
remember there was another book too but
00:24:49
Josh Harris and just kind of this whole
00:24:51
concept of like not dating excuse me not
00:24:54
dating but like
00:24:55
courtship and this like heavy intention
00:24:58
for like marriage and parents being very
00:25:00
involved in dating and like I don't know
00:25:03
there was all of that I don't know I
00:25:05
don't know if maybe that was pushed on
00:25:06
you nearly as much as it was me but it
00:25:08
felt like it was just
00:25:10
there yeah they we had to do this like
00:25:14
the Purity ritual thing at church or
00:25:18
like the purity
00:25:20
ring like uh I V to remain pure up until
00:25:25
marriage wow so did you have a purity
00:25:27
rig yeah I did but I lost
00:25:31
it
00:25:32
ironically you lost it lost it but it
00:25:36
just like I don't know it fell I
00:25:37
remember the last time it fell off in
00:25:40
the kitchen and it just like got kicked
00:25:41
under the the oven or something so like
00:25:45
I was like that's
00:25:48
fine let me ask you this because I
00:25:50
didn't have a Pur ring I had I had
00:25:52
buddies who had one was it something
00:25:54
that you felt like you wanted to do or
00:25:58
that you had to
00:25:59
do oh it was like what I had to do okay
00:26:04
and like I think even at the time I was
00:26:06
like kissing gross or yeah it's kind of
00:26:12
an early thing I feel like for
00:26:15
like I remember going to this ceremony
00:26:19
that my friend had for becoming a man
00:26:22
and I think it was like his 13th
00:26:24
birthday it was like 12 13 somewhere
00:26:25
around that right when you're starting
00:26:27
to get starting to grow hair starting to
00:26:29
smell worse you know the the typical man
00:26:32
stuff yeah
00:26:35
and his dad did this whole there was a
00:26:37
presenting of like a sword and I want to
00:26:40
say there was a purity ring and there
00:26:41
was just a lot of conversation
00:26:44
around being a man and what it is to be
00:26:46
a man and what it is to be a Godly Man
00:26:48
and I'm not saying all of it was wrong
00:26:50
it a little cringey looking back at it
00:26:51
I'm like this is a little cringey um
00:26:54
yeah you know you're kind of having like
00:26:55
the birds and the bees talk with your
00:26:57
dad in front of like like your 10
00:26:59
closest friends
00:27:01
um at your birthday party
00:27:04
and and I don't know it was just one of
00:27:07
those things where it felt interesting
00:27:11
because my parents never never pushed me
00:27:13
to do the purity ring thing they
00:27:17
expected I think they
00:27:20
expected me to kind of live by the
00:27:22
purity ring esess but they were like you
00:27:25
don't have to wear a ring that's like
00:27:27
that's dumb it's just you know it's just
00:27:28
like a madeup symbol um type of thing
00:27:33
and but
00:27:36
uh but yeah I just remember it kind of
00:27:38
being this like pushed Upon Us type of
00:27:40
thing it was it never I don't know it
00:27:43
didn't feel as much like a
00:27:45
conversation um to be had and a
00:27:47
discussion to be had of like oh do you
00:27:49
do you want to do this do you not want
00:27:50
to do this and I
00:27:52
think maybe within kind of The
00:27:54
Homeschool religious group that we grew
00:27:56
up in I think there was maybe a lot of
00:27:57
things that were kind of way of just
00:27:58
kind of this like expectation that you
00:28:01
do this this is the way you live life
00:28:03
and maybe that's just a church thing in
00:28:04
general too but this is the way you live
00:28:06
life and this is how you do it and you
00:28:08
know it was less of a conversation at
00:28:11
least I feel that way I think that sex
00:28:14
is just such a mysterious and powerful
00:28:17
thing and that a lot of
00:28:19
people felt a lot of Shame about it and
00:28:24
stuff and
00:28:31
I don't know I'm still working through a
00:28:32
lot of that stuff
00:28:33
[Music]
00:28:37
and
00:28:43
um it's like sex is like a bad word as
00:28:46
like it's like such a negative
00:28:48
connotation in the environment that we
00:28:50
grew up in yes but then how do you like
00:28:54
but it's obviously one of the best
00:28:56
things about being a human being to your
00:29:00
point I
00:29:01
think what was
00:29:05
so I've had a lot of conversations with
00:29:07
my parents now around sex and things
00:29:10
because they've been really awkward I'm
00:29:13
G to be very honest with people um
00:29:15
they've been very awkward but I
00:29:20
think in
00:29:22
unpacking our past lives our childhood
00:29:25
lives one of the things that I've
00:29:27
learned is is that we grew up with this
00:29:30
like you said this understanding sex sex
00:29:32
is is like bad but it's also good right
00:29:35
and it's like it's good for one instance
00:29:38
right exactly it's like good within this
00:29:40
context right but it's
00:29:43
not but I don't think the context was
00:29:46
ever really discussed as heavily with
00:29:49
kids of like well why is sex inside of
00:29:51
marriage a better context than like just
00:29:54
having sex with anybody and everybody
00:29:56
right so sex is bad
00:29:59
unless it's marriage and some people
00:30:01
would evenue for the purpose of
00:30:03
reproducing right so there's kind of
00:30:07
this but we don't talk about why it's
00:30:10
bad as much we just we just our parents
00:30:13
and our you know leaders and mentors and
00:30:15
stuff tell us oh it's bad it's bad it's
00:30:17
bad it's bad and then we get to marriage
00:30:19
and oh now it's all of a sudden it's
00:30:22
good and that's where a lot of I think
00:30:24
the sexual frustration comes into play
00:30:26
for a lot of people of like also
00:30:28
that that impacts the way we think about
00:30:30
sex so as we become adults and some of
00:30:33
us get married or or we just have sex
00:30:35
for the first time there's like this
00:30:37
weird shame and guilt around it because
00:30:40
we're programmed to think that sex
00:30:41
equals bad when in reality it doesn't
00:30:44
it's just that's what we've been
00:30:45
programmed to think yeah and that's what
00:30:48
I think that that dichotomy with sex
00:30:52
being
00:30:53
bad also channels a lot of that like
00:30:58
like compulsive porn
00:31:02
Indulgence a little bit absolutely
00:31:10
um but then it's like I feel like our
00:31:12
culture is like six is bad but if you
00:31:15
watch porn just don't tell anyone just
00:31:17
keep it on the down lad that's okay just
00:31:19
watching a lot of porn I feel like
00:31:21
that's like the undercurrent of like our
00:31:23
culture is like just keep it
00:31:25
quiet about that it's like
00:31:28
no this is actually like draining the
00:31:31
life force out of me and I'm not really
00:31:33
happy anymore and
00:31:36
so but then it's
00:31:38
so like it's so [ __ ] like hard to
00:31:43
get like in a waiting to get in
00:31:47
alignment with like a good partner that
00:31:49
you can have sex
00:31:51
with because oh my god I've been through
00:31:54
some doozies of
00:31:56
Partners like
00:31:58
definitely learned a lot about the
00:32:01
world with and where people come
00:32:04
from but you can like really [ __ ]
00:32:07
yourself up by getting attached to
00:32:08
someone that
00:32:10
way and like yeah you like your body
00:32:14
starts breaking
00:32:15
down and um you're like losing hair and
00:32:18
losing weight and
00:32:21
stuff and
00:32:23
um but I think there's just a lot of
00:32:25
healing that needs to go on
00:32:29
around
00:32:30
Sixx
00:32:32
absolutely I
00:32:33
think I feel as if while we were
00:32:38
kids and I'm going to talk about kids
00:32:40
kids like single digit I mean maybe
00:32:41
single digits but like definitely those
00:32:43
High those those teenage the teenage
00:32:45
years the growing into being being an
00:32:50
adult person where the hormones kick in
00:32:52
and all that
00:32:53
stuff I I genuinely believe that I think
00:32:56
if parents had been a lot less scared to
00:32:58
talk about sex with their kids and talk
00:33:01
and they we would all be in a better
00:33:04
place right now and I'm not saying that
00:33:07
they necessarily had to maybe have like
00:33:09
all of the greatest answers but just
00:33:12
like the ability to even talk about it
00:33:14
with parents and people you trust and
00:33:18
and that kind of a thing and kind
00:33:20
of I
00:33:21
think there would be less of a stigma
00:33:25
around it um and it's taken a long time
00:33:30
to kind of like seek out I think for me
00:33:33
just kind of seek out like good healthy
00:33:36
advice around sex CU like I struggled
00:33:39
when I got married like I felt very
00:33:40
guilty having sex I did not like it it
00:33:43
did not it felt too bad it it felt great
00:33:46
but it was like I felt awful after the
00:33:49
fact I felt just like dirty and oh
00:33:53
Wicked right and so it was not oh was a
00:33:58
that sucks man right and it's taken a
00:34:01
long time I say it's taken a long time
00:34:04
it feels like a long time but it took a
00:34:07
couple years to really kind of like
00:34:09
start to heal that internal voice in my
00:34:11
head that was telling me this is a this
00:34:13
is a bad thing it was not a bad thing it
00:34:15
just was I had been programmed to
00:34:18
believe sex equals bad right yeah and so
00:34:21
once I change that mindset to sex
00:34:25
equals a good or sex equals I don't know
00:34:29
I maybe maybe good is not the right word
00:34:31
but sex equals something right insert
00:34:33
something there um it's a process people
00:34:36
we're working on it
00:34:38
um but it changed a lot of
00:34:42
like it it it changed the way I viewed
00:34:45
it and so it became less of this like
00:34:47
taboo thing that I didn't want to talk
00:34:49
about I didn't want to do whatever and
00:34:52
thank I'm thankful I've met some
00:34:53
incredible people along the way I uh I
00:34:56
was thinking this is a huge tangent
00:34:59
we're going on here but I met last
00:35:01
almost a year ago to the date I met like
00:35:03
a leading doctor in uh like uh Men's
00:35:07
Health specifically erectile dysfunction
00:35:09
now I don't currently have erectile
00:35:12
dysfunction however it was interesting
00:35:14
to like sit down and talk with her about
00:35:16
sex about penises and about you know all
00:35:19
of the things that go into it because
00:35:20
she's like it's all it's primarily a
00:35:23
brain game and she's like a lot of and
00:35:26
and she immediately clocked me as like
00:35:28
you grew up in a religious environment
00:35:30
and I was like okay and she's like I can
00:35:33
tell because you the way you squirm when
00:35:35
I say penis you're like uncomfortable
00:35:38
right I was like oh interesting I just
00:35:41
thought that was kind of she's like no
00:35:42
that's not that's not normal that's just
00:35:45
you know you grew up in this environment
00:35:47
you've been programmed that like sex and
00:35:49
anything to do with sex is just kind of
00:35:51
like we don't talk about that dirty
00:35:52
words those are the bad words we don't
00:35:54
use the bad words um and so I don't know
00:35:57
refreshing to kind of like have people
00:35:59
like that in your life who kind of they
00:36:01
they start to heal you from these things
00:36:04
that we grew up believing right you kind
00:36:05
of give you different perspective to
00:36:07
think
00:36:08
about yeah and I think that
00:36:12
my encounters with sex because I
00:36:15
didn't I don't think
00:36:18
I yeah I think the first time I had sex
00:36:20
was like I was 20 or
00:36:23
something but then and so all those like
00:36:26
you know those squirm like the squirms
00:36:29
and the flinches and the kind of like oh
00:36:32
this is kind of dirty kind of stuff like
00:36:34
it was kind of like at the surface with
00:36:36
these
00:36:38
experiences
00:36:40
um with these Partners
00:36:44
but these girls would kind of like look
00:36:46
at you like you kidding me homeboy like
00:36:49
come on
00:36:51
are and like you're right it's almost it
00:36:53
was kind of like like a splash of cold
00:36:56
water
00:36:58
I was like come on man like this is
00:36:59
nature like this is
00:37:01
real and so
00:37:04
um it's like you kind of like metaphor
00:37:07
are you going to metaphorically just
00:37:09
live in your parents'
00:37:11
basement about this for the rest of your
00:37:14
life kind of stuff but um I'm really
00:37:17
glad
00:37:18
that
00:37:21
um I'm just really thankful for that
00:37:24
stuff yeah well I guess have
00:37:29
you done any
00:37:32
like has it just been through kind of
00:37:34
like having different partners and
00:37:36
learning and experiencing or have you
00:37:38
done any like therapy or like I listen
00:37:41
to a [ __ ] ton of podcasts that's why I
00:37:43
have a podcast but like and reading
00:37:45
books and like researching stuff where I
00:37:47
was just like okay like if I I got to a
00:37:51
point where basically in my brain I just
00:37:53
chose to basically be like sex is no
00:37:56
longer a bad word in my brain
00:37:58
and now I want to be comfortable
00:38:00
researching and learning and I have to
00:38:02
seek out information whether that's a
00:38:03
therapist or whatever but like was
00:38:07
there was there a moment for you or has
00:38:10
it like I said has it just kind of been
00:38:11
like you know had multiple partners now
00:38:14
and I just kind of like learning we're
00:38:16
we're older now right yeah we're not
00:38:18
high schoolers anymore um you know we've
00:38:21
got a little decade or so under our
00:38:23
belts at this point of being
00:38:25
adults uh there's not a whole lot
00:38:31
specifically uh with
00:38:33
sex
00:38:37
um that I have done uh therapeutic work
00:38:41
on but there's one instance recently
00:38:44
that I can recall it was the kind of
00:38:46
healing my
00:38:48
relationship with women in a sense cuz I
00:38:51
found out I found out I mean somewhat
00:38:56
obviously that I was still in this like
00:38:59
frustrated idealized State about women
00:39:02
cuz like
00:39:04
after my first pretty serious
00:39:06
relationship ended about two years
00:39:10
ago I was still clinging to this like
00:39:13
holy
00:39:14
image of like what like what a woman is
00:39:18
like they're just like pure beautiful
00:39:21
princesses of just like my mother and
00:39:24
stuff so it's kind of I had to work with
00:39:28
myself and
00:39:30
talk uh kind of like
00:39:32
invoke these different versions of
00:39:36
me that we're still Clinging On
00:39:40
to like this idealized version of what a
00:39:43
woman is
00:39:46
like me I think it's like
00:39:49
a like a childhood version of
00:39:52
me still was idealizing women as these
00:39:57
sort of
00:39:58
uh
00:39:59
holy and pure beings that wouldn't just
00:40:02
like want to go out and [ __ ] or or like
00:40:07
get drunk or just kind of like sleep
00:40:08
around and stuff yeah which is just like
00:40:11
a human thing to do it's like like I've
00:40:14
done that and like why wouldn't I think
00:40:17
that another girl wouldn't want to
00:40:18
behave just like me because it's because
00:40:20
it's [ __ ]
00:40:22
fun and
00:40:25
uh in this these sessions that I'd have
00:40:27
i' just kind of talk to myself in those
00:40:31
States
00:40:34
about women just being people it's like
00:40:38
Aon you know it's
00:40:41
a they're just a woman okay it's not
00:40:44
like this archetypal pure
00:40:48
version that you're still like clinging
00:40:50
on to because like there's such a
00:40:52
resistance trying to like figure out why
00:40:57
uh things would go down a certain way
00:41:00
like after the breakup with my ex and
00:41:03
stuff like just different nasty
00:41:05
behaviors coming
00:41:07
out and um just in these visual States
00:41:11
talking to myself in this way I saw this
00:41:13
like
00:41:14
small like a short like six to eighty
00:41:18
old version of myself grow into a
00:41:21
teenager and hopefully beyond that it
00:41:24
was just a really interesting experience
00:41:25
working with myself that way
00:41:28
because um there's definitely parts of
00:41:30
me that
00:41:31
still carry on these
00:41:34
idealistic ways of how I think the world
00:41:37
should work that's so I have so many
00:41:40
questions around what you just said I'm
00:41:42
GNA start I'm gonna start here because
00:41:44
but first first of all I want to say
00:41:47
this thank you for being vulnerable
00:41:50
we're talking on
00:41:53
really I didn't we didn't know where
00:41:55
this conversation was going to go uhhuh
00:41:57
and so anyway but so I wanted to say
00:41:59
that first I wanted to say thank you for
00:42:01
being vulnerable with me
00:42:03
um
00:42:05
secondly I don't know if you had this
00:42:08
experience at all but like growing up in
00:42:10
church there was very much I talked
00:42:12
about this on my Purity culture episode
00:42:15
that I did when I talked about there was
00:42:19
a example when my church did these
00:42:22
things called Purity conferences and
00:42:24
You' go and it was it was the sex talk
00:42:25
for church basically and they would
00:42:27
split the guys and the girls into two
00:42:29
different groups and in the guys group
00:42:31
we were told that women are like a pie
00:42:34
and so it's so we're a pie and then like
00:42:39
an apple pie and then and then the the
00:42:42
leader goes the leader takes his finger
00:42:43
and he sticks it in the middle of the
00:42:44
pie right and he just kind of like
00:42:45
Twirls it around and he goes That's like
00:42:48
when you start to like hold hands and
00:42:50
maybe like a little bit of you know
00:42:51
kissing you're just being flirty right
00:42:53
and like you know you're starting to
00:42:54
like kind of mess up this pie and we're
00:42:56
like okay cool and he takes his whole
00:42:59
hand and he like kind of grabs it right
00:43:01
and he kind of mushes it up a little bit
00:43:02
more and he's like that's like we're
00:43:03
getting into like kissing and heavy
00:43:05
petting and like all you know so we're
00:43:08
another step and and eventually it leads
00:43:10
to he like spits in the pie and then
00:43:13
like mixes it really in there and he's
00:43:15
like that's like you have sex with this
00:43:17
girl like and all along the path as he's
00:43:19
doing this to the pie he continually is
00:43:21
asking us do you want to eat this pie
00:43:24
right and by the time he spits in it you
00:43:26
know you have that one dude in the back
00:43:28
who's like yeah I still want to eat it
00:43:30
dude but like everyone else is like got
00:43:33
shades
00:43:34
on yeah yeah I'll E Yeah CU he knows
00:43:38
he's gonna be the only person to get
00:43:40
that pie because yeah because nobody
00:43:42
else wants it and so anyway but I think
00:43:45
there was a lot of kind of examples like
00:43:48
that given throughout the years I know
00:43:50
bubble gum is another one that a lot of
00:43:51
people heard but like to kind of do what
00:43:54
you were talking about it kind of
00:43:56
exemplify women has like these like holy
00:43:59
perfect things and you don't want to
00:44:02
like you don't want to mess that up
00:44:04
right but sex messes that up and so I
00:44:08
think that again plays
00:44:10
into when I had sex for the first time I
00:44:12
felt really disgusting
00:44:13
after yeah because of the fact that I
00:44:16
felt like I had taken this person who
00:44:18
was a beautiful apple pie just this is a
00:44:22
terrible example this is you know like
00:44:24
this is very much objectifying women and
00:44:25
things like that but this is the what T
00:44:27
growing up and so and taking that and
00:44:29
making it this disgusting spit in apple
00:44:31
pie that nobody ever wants to eat again
00:44:34
and so I felt like I had ruined this
00:44:35
person which gives it a lot of shame it
00:44:38
ruins that Angelic feeling like you were
00:44:42
talking about of this person is like
00:44:43
perfect and holy and and you know those
00:44:46
kind of things so yeah it such a
00:44:51
um it's such a
00:44:55
trip and it's it's almost like and then
00:44:58
after that I felt like kind of this
00:45:00
leveling these two sides coming together
00:45:03
I was like it's just a woman a Aaron's a
00:45:06
woman and she's a human just like you
00:45:09
yeah and
00:45:14
U yeah
00:45:19
is it's interesting getting out of that
00:45:22
misogynistic heads
00:45:25
space I want to ask you too cuz you you
00:45:29
talked about like
00:45:30
seeing like you know a six-year-old
00:45:33
version of yourself and then watching it
00:45:35
grow up so
00:45:38
yeah how do you get into that head space
00:45:42
or where do you
00:45:44
like I don't know I I have trouble
00:45:47
visualizing things like that I do some
00:45:48
meditation I do things like that but
00:45:50
like I've always really struggled with
00:45:52
kind of you know that kind of a thing so
00:45:54
I'm just curious how you get that
00:45:57
space yeah that's a good question um so
00:46:01
apparently we're always we're always
00:46:03
visualizing all the time and
00:46:07
so it wasn't it's not exactly a clear
00:46:10
image that I'm seeing it's more like
00:46:12
Impressions and stuff in kind of like a
00:46:15
dream
00:46:16
state but they was it came from Teal
00:46:19
Swan have you heard of te Swan I have
00:46:22
yes yeah she she talks about she does
00:46:25
her like she runs through her completion
00:46:27
process and so it's really interesting
00:46:31
initially you start and you say it's
00:46:34
usually you can see something coming up
00:46:36
CU you're feeling like a lot of
00:46:37
resistance and like tightness and like
00:46:39
the front of your body probably your
00:46:41
whole body so like something's holding
00:46:43
you back it's like no I don't want to go
00:46:45
there you know like when you're like
00:46:46
pulling on a
00:46:48
dog exactly yeah but you got that
00:46:51
feeling inside you with like what is
00:46:53
wrong what is wrong with me right now MH
00:46:56
and so
00:46:57
uh the other night I went through this I
00:47:01
just got real relaxed you just had to
00:47:03
calm yourself down lie down on your
00:47:06
bed
00:47:08
and you
00:47:10
say like you invoke it in your body
00:47:13
you're
00:47:14
like I am going to allow the part of
00:47:17
myself that is in most resistance to
00:47:20
what is happening to possess my
00:47:23
body and then you just let it like on
00:47:27
the count of three I go one two three
00:47:29
and I just let it come through and it
00:47:32
like this like it'll be like younger
00:47:35
versions of myself it'll be like some
00:47:39
twisted up version of myself that kind
00:47:41
of spun out with my imagination so it's
00:47:43
like some crazy
00:47:45
character but a lot of the times they're
00:47:47
just like younger versions of myself
00:47:49
that I have to talk to and I have to
00:47:51
start coaching
00:47:53
them um I had a lot of resistance the
00:47:55
other night
00:47:58
because you know I'm I've been getting
00:47:59
things going for myself I'm selling
00:48:01
paintings and stuff I'm teaching
00:48:04
classes I was like what is wrong why do
00:48:06
I feel like not doing any of this what
00:48:08
do I not want to do and I'm like I'm
00:48:10
going to let the part of myself that is
00:48:11
in most resistance to possess my
00:48:15
body and so I sat there let it come
00:48:19
through and I had like this dream
00:48:21
picture in my head and it was me when I
00:48:23
was
00:48:24
19 and I had my glass gles on and I had
00:48:27
a paintbrush and I'm like man this guy
00:48:29
looks like he's pretty good at painting
00:48:30
and I had like this ratty shirt on like
00:48:33
this ratty long sleeve
00:48:35
shirt and I just let I just let it talk
00:48:39
like I just let myself talk through my
00:48:42
voice at the moment and he's like I
00:48:45
don't want to do this and I don't think
00:48:46
I can do
00:48:48
this I'm just uh I'm too scared I feel
00:48:52
like I'm going to
00:48:55
fail it's so I had to um just talk to
00:48:59
Aaron you know that this works you know
00:49:01
that you're good at this and people buy
00:49:04
your paintings and they support you and
00:49:05
you know this because people fill up
00:49:07
your classes and people are always
00:49:09
liking your
00:49:11
stuff you know they give you pats on the
00:49:14
back and stuff and
00:49:16
so that part of me started calming down
00:49:18
and it was like almost that same thing I
00:49:20
kind of saw I had this impression that
00:49:23
he had a new understanding and he was
00:49:25
getting older and then like the it felt
00:49:28
like something was coming together and
00:49:29
then afterwards you're like exhausted a
00:49:32
little because the experience of just
00:49:35
fusing the two parts of yourself back
00:49:38
together is like a really healing and so
00:49:40
you always need to take time out for
00:49:44
healing that's amazing like I like I'm
00:49:47
kind of like stunned and uh speechless
00:49:51
that's like beautiful and I I love that
00:49:53
and
00:49:54
I you're saying these things and I'm
00:49:56
going okay I I need to do this in my own
00:49:58
life cuz I see the Hang-Ups and I I
00:50:01
usually I don't acknowledge that
00:50:04
tightness and I push through it and I
00:50:06
just you know it's to pull your pull
00:50:08
yourself up by your bootstraps and like
00:50:09
muscle through it yeah no that that's a
00:50:12
recipe yeah it's a recipe for Burnout
00:50:14
yeah exactly so I'm like I'm I'm hearing
00:50:16
what you're saying I'm going okay I when
00:50:18
that happens I need to I need to do that
00:50:20
I need to take time and and listen to
00:50:22
those to those voices um cuz something
00:50:25
is there something is telling me
00:50:27
something so wow
00:50:30
um if you've yeah for listeners if
00:50:32
you've take anything away from this
00:50:34
podcast I hope it's that because that
00:50:36
was super powerful um so thank you for
00:50:38
sharing
00:50:39
that that does kind of lead nicely into
00:50:43
I wanted to kind of ask you about what
00:50:44
you're doing now you're an artist you're
00:50:46
an art
00:50:48
teacher and you know kind of what like I
00:50:53
mean you brought up before your mom went
00:50:55
was going to Santa Barbara for for art
00:50:58
school so I'm sure she kind of had a
00:51:00
hand in kind of molding that like
00:51:03
passion inside of you but also like
00:51:05
where where did that come from when did
00:51:07
you kind of figure out like I think I
00:51:09
want to be an artist or I'm good at this
00:51:10
or like you know when did that start it
00:51:14
was definitely my
00:51:16
mom my mom's influence because she
00:51:19
started
00:51:20
painting after the miscarriage of my
00:51:23
older
00:51:24
sister and uh grew up around a lot of um
00:51:29
paintings of dead
00:51:33
flowers and um they're very beautiful
00:51:36
paintings and so of all the homeschool
00:51:40
moms they saw my mom as the artistic one
00:51:44
and so they had her teaching different
00:51:46
classes and stuff and so we would run
00:51:49
through a lot of exercises that she
00:51:50
learned at Oxnard College so that's kind
00:51:53
of really the birthplace of it is is
00:51:56
your mom then kind of being like we're
00:51:58
going to put an emphasis on this and was
00:52:00
it
00:52:01
primarily I know art art is very there's
00:52:05
a a lot of people have a lot of
00:52:06
different mediums they use do you have a
00:52:07
particular medium that you like focus in
00:52:10
on
00:52:12
or I don't know I'm not I'm not as my
00:52:15
art is different let me say that my I
00:52:18
think everyone is an artist deep down in
00:52:20
some capacity but uh some people are
00:52:23
more the traditional artists of of paint
00:52:26
and and charcoals and things like that
00:52:28
but do you have a particular medium that
00:52:29
you you like oh as long as as long as I
00:52:32
get to paint I'm okay with it I can do
00:52:35
acrylic or oil or squh or
00:52:38
watercolor but I I mostly prefer oil
00:52:42
just yeah it's the best yeah but lately
00:52:44
I've been doing a lot of acrylics
00:52:46
because of a just where I live it's not
00:52:49
not as stinky yeah still yeah let's talk
00:52:53
about job a little bit because I know
00:52:54
you you work in the art industry
00:52:57
so what do what do you do like yeah like
00:53:00
um you talk about teaching classes but
00:53:02
um and then and then of course like how
00:53:04
can people find your art or commission
00:53:06
art that kind of thing as well oh yeah I
00:53:08
work um it's like a community
00:53:11
nonprofit okay uh M
00:53:13
Museum and then next door they have a
00:53:16
building where they host classes and um
00:53:20
do community family events and things so
00:53:23
I I get to teach adult classes and then
00:53:25
during the summertime we do kidss summer
00:53:29
summer
00:53:30
camps and
00:53:32
um but yeah I'm on I'm on Instagram at
00:53:38
Aaron MacDonald art and um just a lot of
00:53:41
business going on over there cool I get
00:53:44
to I post a lot of stuff that I'm into
00:53:47
and stuff and yeah it's pretty fun yeah
00:53:51
I was scrolling on there kind of
00:53:52
prepping for this episode and and you
00:53:54
know I your stuff obviously pops up in
00:53:56
my timeline quite a bit but uh I was
00:53:59
looking through and and I was I was I
00:54:03
was amaz I mean there there's some
00:54:04
beautiful pieces in there so yeah I'll
00:54:05
definitely link it down below there was
00:54:07
one that stuck out to me re that that
00:54:09
you did um and it's like a pixelated
00:54:13
skull um I don't know maybe yeah but I
00:54:16
just uh I'm so F the reason I'm
00:54:19
fascinated by that is because I
00:54:21
previously worked in um kind of I worked
00:54:25
in the web 3 Industry and there's a lot
00:54:27
of people doing digital art but uh but
00:54:30
I'm seeing a lot of like digital like or
00:54:34
like analog artists start to do these
00:54:35
like pixelated paintings and maybe
00:54:38
that's a style that goes back even pre
00:54:40
you know web 3 crypto nfts all those
00:54:42
dirty nasty words that nobody likes um
00:54:45
but but uh I don't know I I do you have
00:54:50
a particular I guess style that you like
00:54:52
to paint in or a particular like thing
00:54:54
that you like to paint is it you know
00:54:56
backdrops
00:54:57
portraits anything like that oh yeah um
00:55:02
primarily reside in Landscapes and
00:55:06
portraiture okay and that's where I um
00:55:10
really like but man I've been getting
00:55:14
some of the curriculum from the bow
00:55:17
house school which is the design school
00:55:20
in Germany that got shut down by the
00:55:24
Nazis and um
00:55:27
yeah like they just pull they have like
00:55:30
most of their curriculum all pulled
00:55:32
together and you can buy it and stuff
00:55:34
and oh my God it's
00:55:37
like learning stuff like how to um like
00:55:41
just different exercises that they give
00:55:44
about like feeling textures and like
00:55:46
collecting textures from everyday
00:55:48
objects and like trees and things yeah
00:55:51
and then reproducing that uh by memory
00:55:55
like memory work and also like
00:56:00
um writing a word backwards writing a
00:56:04
word forwards with your right hand and
00:56:06
at the same time writing it backwards
00:56:08
with your left hand okay at the same
00:56:11
creating like a mired image yeah yeah
00:56:14
yeah like exercises like that it just oh
00:56:17
my God like actually like puts
00:56:20
you in the Physical
00:56:23
Realm like molding your senses
00:56:26
mhm kind of really interesting stuff
00:56:31
because like up until now I was just
00:56:33
looking at stuff and drawing
00:56:35
it but there's multiple ways to go about
00:56:38
that I recently I was in Boston recently
00:56:41
and I went to the B Boston Art Museum um
00:56:44
which was incredible
00:56:47
I I'm learning to have a much better
00:56:49
appreciation for art I think as a kid I
00:56:52
always was just like okay it's a
00:56:53
painting like what's the big deal you
00:56:55
know um and yeah and then more recently
00:56:58
I feel like in the last couple years I'm
00:57:00
learning understanding more of the
00:57:01
history but then also like you said like
00:57:04
their there style that goes into there's
00:57:07
technique there's different mediums you
00:57:10
know acrylic versus oil paint it's very
00:57:12
different does different things all
00:57:13
those types of things
00:57:15
so I'm I'm by no means professional I
00:57:18
think I could have a conversation about
00:57:20
it and be a little bit dangerous but not
00:57:22
like no no not to your degree um let's
00:57:25
say but but it is interesting to kind of
00:57:28
sit and like look at these things now
00:57:30
and kind of try to understand more of
00:57:33
like what these are actually
00:57:35
representing uh what the person was
00:57:37
actually trying to invoke or then also
00:57:39
What feelings it it just invokes in
00:57:41
yourself right um uh because yeah like
00:57:46
you said like being able to look at a
00:57:48
piece of fruit or nature or something
00:57:50
and draw that or paint
00:57:54
that I don't know I don't know um um
00:57:56
there's like a famous quote I don't know
00:57:58
it might not be that famous it might be
00:58:00
I don't know some hokey uh movie quote
00:58:02
or whatever but it's like art imitates
00:58:04
nature or something like that and um I
00:58:08
don't know I'm just I'm learning and I'm
00:58:10
learning to appreciate it more and like
00:58:12
really sit in it and and digest it a lot
00:58:15
more and I don't know be open to it so
00:58:18
there's so many
00:58:20
Avenues and like the further I get into
00:58:23
it there's just
00:58:24
like expansive stuff is just so
00:58:27
interesting yeah like art imitates
00:58:30
nature
00:58:33
um obviously we have to make ourselves
00:58:35
houses and then kind of like work around
00:58:39
or work with nature so that we can live
00:58:41
a harmonious life with
00:58:43
it and
00:58:47
um so yeah there is this other method of
00:58:52
drawing that I found from this abstract
00:58:55
expressionist
00:58:57
and he mapped it out it in German but it
00:58:59
was translated and uh most people like
00:59:03
there's a circle within the circle and
00:59:05
it's like object or like person I and
00:59:09
then object over here and most of the
00:59:13
drawing and painting that we do comes
00:59:16
from over the head like Through The Eyes
00:59:19
over the head onto the object right but
00:59:23
what he was doing was actually drag
00:59:26
dring the spirit of the thing
00:59:28
underground and up through his
00:59:31
feet and on through his hands onto the
00:59:34
page so it was like he would make these
00:59:37
abstract geometric looking radial forms
00:59:40
and things of leaves and
00:59:43
plants and uh different stuff in
00:59:47
nature and so I think that that was
00:59:49
really
00:59:50
interesting yeah that's that's
00:59:52
incredible I like I said I don't know
00:59:55
enough about it to
00:59:57
like I'm an artist in my own right of
00:59:59
what I could you know I think like I
01:00:01
said I think everybody's an artist to
01:00:03
some degree but I think you know some
01:00:05
people obviously much more talented than
01:00:07
than myself but um that's definitely an
01:00:11
interesting perspective to to look at I
01:00:13
had never heard that like you know we
01:00:16
look over an object like above the head
01:00:18
yeah CU yeah like it comes through our
01:00:20
eyes onto the object and then it right
01:00:23
and then we interpret it that way but he
01:00:25
was is just like pulling the thing
01:00:27
underground into
01:00:29
himself right like who thinks of that
01:00:33
man yeah well what there's the argument
01:00:37
to be made too of like what does that
01:00:38
even mean right like yeah you know like
01:00:42
how how um because yeah I think I don't
01:00:47
know I think to be a a really a good
01:00:50
artist you have
01:00:53
to I'm kind of talking out my ass here
01:00:55
to be
01:00:56
but I think I think to be a good artist
01:00:59
you have to like you you kind of have to
01:01:02
be you have to be in sync with the thing
01:01:04
that you are creating um to some degree
01:01:08
right yeah absolutely and and that's why
01:01:11
I say everyone as an artist because I
01:01:13
believe I like I believe what I do for
01:01:15
work is is a form of art creating
01:01:17
podcasts I think is a form of art um and
01:01:23
the most powerful things I've personally
01:01:25
made have been the things that I've sat
01:01:27
with and I've come more in sync with and
01:01:30
I've been like you look at it from a
01:01:33
different perspective or at least my
01:01:35
opinion I look at it from a different
01:01:37
perspective than someone else right I
01:01:40
can bang out a bunch of episodes of like
01:01:42
the same exact thing it's a formula
01:01:44
right and you just create the same thing
01:01:46
over and over um but I think there's
01:01:49
something to be said as an Editor to
01:01:52
being like looking at something that
01:01:54
somebody else has created and then being
01:01:55
able to take that and twist it and tweak
01:01:57
it and make it an even more powerful
01:01:59
expression of what that is so um it's
01:02:02
something Ive for on this show is I want
01:02:04
to be a better Storyteller and I want to
01:02:05
learn to help tell people's stories
01:02:07
better and edit and tweak that and and
01:02:10
make it powerful um but yeah so that's
01:02:13
my own that's my own type type of
01:02:15
artwork it's not it's not painting but
01:02:17
it's you know it is what it is um yeah
01:02:20
clipping clipping cutting yeah trimming
01:02:23
adding music um yeah of the things some
01:02:26
people wouldn't consider that art um but
01:02:29
it you know I don't know it's it's my
01:02:31
creative expression let's say that yeah
01:02:34
so dude Aon this has been so much fun I
01:02:36
appreciate you coming on and and talking
01:02:38
with me and oh yeah we went deep we went
01:02:41
to some some Dark Places some happy
01:02:44
places we did we traced it back we came
01:02:48
back to artwork I'm going to ask this
01:02:51
there if there is there a memory from
01:02:54
homeschool experience that stands out as
01:02:57
just kind of like super memorable
01:02:59
whether it's like a cringey moment a
01:03:01
happy moment it could be a sad moment um
01:03:04
but something that maybe is like unique
01:03:06
or just interesting that as you've now
01:03:09
been out in the real world you're like
01:03:10
oh you know what I got to do this thing
01:03:12
or I experienced this thing and it was
01:03:14
it's just so different than everybody
01:03:16
else's experience of like the other day
01:03:19
I was having a conversation with my
01:03:20
mother-in-law because it's been the
01:03:21
holidays and uh and I told her like oh I
01:03:24
was on a m team she was like you were a
01:03:26
mime and I was like yeah yeah and I was
01:03:29
like I've never told you that before
01:03:30
she's like she's like nope never do that
01:03:34
um yeah and I've known this woman for
01:03:36
like nine years uh something like that
01:03:38
um so these you real quiet about it yeah
01:03:41
I guess so I mean it's it's kind of a
01:03:44
cringy thing to bring up but um I don't
01:03:48
know is there anything as we've been
01:03:49
reminiscing that stuck out in your brain
01:03:51
if you're just like oh yeah that one
01:03:52
thing that we did during home school
01:03:54
years oh yeah
01:03:57
it was a Marine Science Camp okay did
01:04:01
you ever get to do Marine Science Camp I
01:04:03
don't think I did was that the was that
01:04:05
the thing that would happen out at
01:04:06
Channel Islands or am I thinking of
01:04:07
something else okay yeah yeah it was
01:04:11
that and so um all the kids brought like
01:04:14
their dads brought their kids and I was
01:04:16
there kind of solo with all these other
01:04:19
boys and
01:04:22
um they were off doing something at one
01:04:25
point and I was kind of um trekking it
01:04:28
by myself but one day I'd kind of like
01:04:31
stuck around to just make sure I was
01:04:34
looked after and so he was um just kind
01:04:37
of chilling on the beach kind of away
01:04:39
just like letting me do my own thing uh
01:04:42
I ended
01:04:44
up somebody gave me some of the squids
01:04:47
that we had dissected earlier in the day
01:04:49
like squid parts and things okay and I
01:04:53
and we had Feb Little Bull Sharks these
01:04:57
little Sand Sharks
01:04:59
earlier but I thought that I would go
01:05:01
out and do it by
01:05:04
myself and so I walk out there and uh
01:05:09
like almost knee high into the water and
01:05:11
I start throwing the the squids
01:05:14
out and they start coming like they
01:05:17
start swarming up around
01:05:20
me um all these sand sharks and they
01:05:24
start like kind of like kick my ankles
01:05:26
and stuff and like slapping me and stuff
01:05:28
just like wrestling each other trying to
01:05:30
get these
01:05:32
squids and uh that's why I was
01:05:36
like you know that like kind of like
01:05:38
animal aggression you're like oh [ __ ] I
01:05:42
should
01:05:43
probably I should probably step out of
01:05:45
this area it was like having a bunch of
01:05:47
little bull like a bunch of little
01:05:48
bulldogs like uh like attacking each
01:05:52
other like underneath your feet but um
01:05:56
yeah I stepped out of the water after
01:05:58
that that was oh my gosh all by myself I
01:06:02
think I was like 12 or
01:06:05
11 wow yeah I I never I never did the
01:06:09
Marine camps that sounds I mean that
01:06:12
particular story sounds a little bit
01:06:13
scary but yeah but was so cool I love
01:06:17
the ocean yeah I mean hey it's it's
01:06:21
almost just as vast as space it seems
01:06:23
like sometimes so uh
01:06:26
yeah I know it's funny I I keep seeing
01:06:29
posts of like why do all these
01:06:31
billionaires want to go to space when
01:06:33
they could be exploring the oceans um
01:06:35
because there's so much just Uncharted
01:06:36
ocean like it's a good point it's a good
01:06:39
point there's a lot that we don't know
01:06:41
that could be down there um so anyway
01:06:45
dude Erin this has been amazing I
01:06:47
appreciate you coming on and telling
01:06:49
your perspective and I always tell
01:06:51
everybody who comes on the show you're
01:06:52
always welcome back um and uh but man
01:06:56
this has been this has been good and I
01:06:57
appreciate your vulnerability uh to our
01:07:00
audience thank you for listening
01:07:02
hopefully you got something um please I
01:07:05
loved the thing that Aaron said about
01:07:07
like visualizing and and sitting in the
01:07:09
uncomfortable and like acknowledging
01:07:11
it yeah if if you feel that way take
01:07:14
that to heart maybe try it for yourself
01:07:16
um who knows you know it could it could
01:07:19
work for you we were talking before we
01:07:20
got on the air about just different
01:07:21
things that work for us about settling
01:07:23
anxieties and all that kind of stuff and
01:07:25
so you know not everything works for
01:07:27
everybody but you know I would I would
01:07:29
also love to hear what other people do
01:07:31
um as well for for settling some of that
01:07:34
um as well so drop it in the I don't
01:07:36
know in the comments or you know shoot
01:07:37
me an email um yeah you can shoot me an
01:07:40
email shoot me an email exhs
01:07:41
[email protected] uh or DM me on Instagram
01:07:44
exhs Club um yeah dude this has been
01:07:48
great once again thank you I can't say
01:07:50
it enough I appreciate you and uh yeah
01:07:52
to all the listeners we'll be back next
01:07:54
week so until then all right peace peace
01:08:00
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01:08:11
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